#Mary was right and we should say it
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penig · 2 years ago
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An Unreasonably New and More Reasonable Theory of Watson’s Christian Name
It puzzles me that everyone assumes that Watson’s name is John and Mary gets his name wrong in this week’s story, “The Man with the Twisted Lip.” I defy anybody to find me one single place in canon, other than this instance from his wife, that anyone addresses him by name; or any place at all when Watson gives his full name.
Dr. John H. Watson, M.D., is the name on the battered tin dispatch box that Watson keeps his notes in, and in the absence of other evidence we would be justified in assuming this to be Watson’s full name and title - but he never says that he was the original owner of the box, or gives any particulars of his birth family, and given the possibility of his having the box at second hand from a relative who was also a doctor, I cannot allow that any reasonable standard of evidence could possibly give more weight to that assumption than to the plain fact that his own wife called him James.
In all fairness, I will allow that I myself address my husband by the name I met him under in the SCA, not by his (far too common) birth name; and that one player of The Game - I think Baring-Gould but couldn’t swear to it - came up with the ingenious suggestion that Mary had some reason not to use the word John and so she took anglicizing his middle name, Hamish, which is the Scottish form of James. But since we are given no information on what the H stands for, this theory does not satisfy Occam’s razor any more than mine does, and I would submit that it in fact satisfies it less. Just because Watson is a Scottish name doesn’t mean that our extremely English Watson had a parent sufficiently attached to the Scottish heritage as to use Hamish for a second name. We do know that Watson had a father and a line of grandfathers behind him, and that professions tended to cluster along family lines for the Victorians.
I am biased in favor of my own theory, naturally, but even factoring that in I am confident that Holmes would approve my reasoning.
Watson’s name was James.  Get over it.
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marypsue · 10 months ago
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Something about The Lost Boys, a deeply, deliberately queer movie all about vampires (so necessarily obsessed with blood transfer/exchange), where being attracted to the wrong person, taking risks around them, taking their tainted blood into your body, will change your life irrevocably and doom you to death, coming out in 1987, and saying that the real source of the majority of the problems caused by sharing tainted blood is a respectable middle-aged middle-class white man obsessed with power, heteronormativity, and the replication and eternal enshrinement of the nuclear family structure, and that the only way to survive and cure the infection is to destroy him...whoooo.
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babisawyer · 2 years ago
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Ben coming back to the cabin to see yet another cannibalistic ritual
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littleplantfreak · 2 months ago
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Umemiya would sit you on his lap and let you suck and nibble off his fingers whenever you wanted, take them dry, with caramel if you wanna do food play or if he’s just fingered you and he’s gonna praise you the whole time too he told me himself
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fideidefenswhore · 8 months ago
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Cromwell, who had overestimated Mary's tractability, 'considered himself a dead man'. His fears were not idle, for Henry dismissed the Marquis of Exeter and Sir William Fitzwilliam from the Privy Council, imprisoned Lady Hussey, the wife of Mary's chamberlain, in the Tower, and ordered his judges to institute legal proceedings against his daughter.
Margaret Pole: the Countess in the Tower, Susan Higginbotham
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sun-marie · 6 months ago
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the issue for me with DAI is that for the most part, I do kinda like the story it's trying to tell. in a vacuum, it's well-written and has many thought-provoking choices.
but there is just no way around the fact that in order to achieve that story, it has to throw away like half of what both the previous games were all about, while still cashing in on them with returning characters and cameos, which results in a lot of "he would not fucking say that"
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moonlightcycle571 · 3 months ago
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The JL fight a magic user who casts a spell on everyone where their biggest weakness will be displayed above their heads. If Batman takes notes later, then that’s not on him.
There’s the predictable ones like Hal where it says ‘Yellow’, Clark says ‘Kryptonite’, and Martian Manhunter ‘Fire’.
But then there’s the one where you need to interpret like Flash halving ‘Bound’, the Hawks having ‘Clipped’ which pertains to their wings or even the ‘Pride’ on Doctor Fate.
What’s weird is that Batman and Captain Marvel of all people have the same word:
‘Adoption’
Little does everyone know that it’s for two entirely different reasons. Batman can’t help but adopt. Batson doesn’t want to be adopted.
No one knows Captain Marvel is secretly a kid, so everyone thinks he’s like Batman, but just doesn’t adopt (or thinks Freddy & Mary or the Vasquez kids are actually his if they are in AU). But for the sake of comedy, let’s not have them.
Batman thinks there is some kind of kinship, and asks how he battles the urge to adopt? Captain Marvel is trying really hard to not run away (he doesn’t want to get adopted, especially not by Batman, the puns enough are going to be atrocious).
It would look something like this:
Bruce: and that’s how I got all my kids. Or at least most of them. I’m not sure if technically family friends count, but they still got their parents, you know?
Billy, does not in fact know: yeah… darn those parents ammi right
Ollie, wondering if they should put Cap in the JL parent group: oh, do you have any kids?
Billy: oh no, I can’t (Cue misunderstandings)
Bruce: I understand the urge to adopt is real, good on you for not giving in. We live a dangerous life style
Billy: We’ll we can’t help the fae brain
Bruce: the what?
Billy, he just heard the term before and thought it was the common word: you know, when you just want to keep and raise a kid for yourself
Bruce, thinking of the numerous tales of witches and fae using first born children as payment only to realise it’s their way of adoption: … huh
Billy, just wants to escape and hug his tiger: oh it’s really fine. Anyways I need to bounce, but we’ll see each other on Mondays meeting
Proceeds to ruffle everyone’s hair (he can’t help it, he’s taller than anyone and enjoys the feeling of ruffling hair instead of having his hair ruffled)
Batman: oh OH
Cue most misunderstanding where they think Marvel mentally adopted them. They all have daddy issues anyways, so it really shouldn’t be a surprise when they try to be the fae brain favourite.
HAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WERENT GETTING DAD MARVEL, BUT JUMPED ON THAT BANDWAGON THE SECOND IT CAME OUT
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sleepyangelkami · 2 months ago
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COSTUME s.winchester
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𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT - 3.4K
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SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER
𝜗𝜚 A/N - this is my first ever time writing about sucking dick, please be nice to me, i'll cry.
𝜗𝜚 SUMMARY - you had to dress up as an FBI agent with the winchester brothers. you felt stupid in a costume but luckily for you, sam really liked seeing you in a skirt.
𝜗𝜚 WARNINGS - smut, dom!sam, sub!reader, oral(s!rec), no p!v sex, size kink, praise kink, fingering, slight manipulation, reader lowk flexible, cum eating, messy sex, squirting, (1) use of y/n, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷
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"come on, y/n, we gotta go!" you heard dean's not so gentle knock against the bathroom door as you slipped on your last mary jane shoe.
you weren't usually chosen for tasks like this.
usually, it was the winchester boys that did all this kind of thing, you know, fraud? you were usually just the researcher, sitting in the motel room as back up, with a laptop perched on your lap or sitting in baby, the key inside and waiting to be their getaway car.
you weren't really hands on when it came to being a hunter.
you never really had to go out into the real world for much. but this particular demon was snatching girls, twenty something year old girls about your age and appearance. the brothers thought it would be best if another girl accompanied them when investigating the missing girls' roomates and not two six-foot men dressed in suits.
dean's head turned as the creaky bathroom door opened. "I feel stupid."
his eyebrows raised to the tips of his forehead, a look of shock passing over him as he cleared his throat with a breathy laugh. "wait 'til sammy sees you." you just gave him a confused look before grabbing the pretty pink purse that sat on the bed. "aah-ah." you look up at dean confused. "kind of ruins the whole FBI vibe, don't you think?"
you eyed the purse in your hands.
it was a little bag, hardly able to hold anything other than your phone and your lipgloss, not that you ever had to worry about holding your wallet when you had the boys around but nonetheless, a card was wedged in there too.
it was pink with darker pink flowers on it and a ribbon attached to the strap. sam had gotten it for you after a case that you worked particularly hard on.
but dean was right, it didn't fit the whole 'FBI vibe' so you sighed and placed it back on the bed, passing the man an unhappy glance.
sam was outside, sitting in the passenger seat of the infamous impala named 'baby' by dean. he'd packed and started the car, waiting for the two of you when you caught his eye.
or should he say, your outfit.
you often wore pretty little sundresses or blouses and skirts paired together with a pretty cardigan drawn over you. but this? This seemed awfully different to your usual attire.
the white blouse was a little too low for comfort and he could tell by the way you were pulling it up over your cleavage that you agreed. your black pencil skirt was high, too high with a pair of long black stockings that stopped just above your knees paired with the infamous mary janes that you wore with almost everything.
sam was staring.
"what are you wearing?" was the first thing he asked when you and dean got into the car. "what is she wearing?" he turned back to dean.
you owned the stockings and the mary janes before hand but the rest of the outfit? it'd been dean's job to pick it out (which was no wonder you looked like... that.) "dude, she has to play the part."
"yeah of an FBI agent not some sexy stripper cop." sam spoke, exasperated.
"thank you!" you beamed from the back seat before your eyes furrowed. perhaps your boyfriend hadn't been complimenting you at all.
sam passed you a glance through the mirror but was more focused on blaming his brother. how could he let you go out looking like that for everyone to see? how could he make sam watch you while his pants tightened and his bulge was on show?
you thought the interviews went smoothly. you sat down with most of the women. the college women who's roomates had gone missing. dean was too busy fraternizing with the college girls to care about the case anymore and sam... well sam had seemed a little distracted from the beginning.
he couldn't rip his eyes away from you. you sat so perfectly, pieces of hair falling into your face as you nodded and sympathised with the women, asking them questions and jotting down notes onto a little notepad you had found in the backseat of baby.
sam was staring at you, at the way he could see the outline of your boobs down your shirt or the way your plush thighs protruded from the fabric of your stockings.
he was in awe.
it was hard to focus on anything other than you, which is why he had to excuse himself to talk to the headmaster instead of being stuck in a room with you, too close.
he was your boyfriend, it wasn't as if you hadn't done things with him before. on the contrary, you did... many things with sam before. but this was borderline unprofessional, the way he let his thoughts run.
he could imagine sliding his hands beneath your skirt or listening to your little gasps when he touched your skin, barely grazing it. you were so easily led like that, so audible and obedient. he could imagine unbuttoning your shirt slowly, with you sat on his lap while whines fell from your lips, whimpers following shortly after.
he needed to stop thinking.
or better yet, he needed to fuck you until the thoughts stopped.
dean decided he was going to check out the last spot that the college girl had been taken, assuring you both that he wouldn't be back before dinner. but the wink he shot his younger brother told him that he was merely giving you both alone time because he was no stranger to the look in sam's eyes.
and this was when sam got selfish.
honestly, the motel wasn't that far from the college so you and sam opted to walk back. the air turned brisk and for a split second, sam was about to offer you his jacket, the way he always would.
he thought it was rather adorable, watching the way you nuzzled into the jacket that was far too big for your frame. he was six foot five after all, you drowned in anything he let you wear.
but he found himself feeling selfish. he selfishly liked the way your perky breasts looked in that pretty blouse and the way your plush thighs could be seen peeking out from between the skirt and the stockings. he couldn't stop looking, couldn't tear his eyes away and stop his imagination from roaming.
so he let you walk back to the hotel, keeping a slight distance behind you so he could watch your body as he pleased, the only sound between you two being the click-clop of your mary jane heels as you walked home.
when you finally got inside, you felt yourself sigh in thought.
sam had been acting awfully quiet since you'd left and you'd begun to worry that you'd done something to upset him.
perhaps the outfit was too revealing, perhaps he wasn't okay with it.
you turned, an apology already on the tip of your lips. "sam―"
before you could utter the words, sam had grabbed you. his lips pushed into your own, a kiss filled with no passion or love, you could taste nothing aside from thick hunger, half a growl from inside his throat.
you whimpered into the kiss, taken by surprise. you felt him grab at you, one hand slid up your back, the other grabbing the back of your head and a fistful of hair along with it. again, a noise escaped you while sam was mindlessly kicking off his shoes, guiding you towards the bed.
to say you were surprised was saying the least, you hadn't expected this.
when he sat you gently against the bed, he finally broke the kiss. you looked up at him with glassy eyes and swollen lips while he tugged his suit jacket off, not bothering to take off his tie completely but only loosen it so it didn't hang so close to his neck. perhaps now he could finally breathe.
your eyes followed him curiously as he bent down, eyes never leaving yours while you stayed sitting on the mattress. you felt his hands pawing at your legs, slipping your mary janes from your feet. his hands gently rubbed at your sock-covered feet, a little reminder of his gentleness, despite the roughness he was suddenly using on you.
his fingers trailed upwards, following the little sewing thread between the fabric of your stockings. when his hands reached the top, he snapped the fabric back, leaving it snap against your thighs. "you're keeping these on." he uttered, he didn't sound like he normally did. he sounded as if he were pent up, desperate for relief. and he was.
you just couldn't seem to understand why.
"sam, why are you―"
you were cut off. "you're jus' so pretty all dressed up, honey." sam was towering over you as he stood, his large hand falling on your face, practically taking up a whole cheek as he cupped it. "'n i was hard all day thinkin' about this. you do wanna make me feel good, don't you, sweetheart?"
he watched as your eyes seemingly got rounder. "i wanna make you feel good, sammy." you caught your bottom lip between your top teeth and he could tell you were being honest, so honest.
willing to do anything to make him feel good, his sweet sweet girl. he would have cooed at you had he not been busy using his thumb to pull your bottom lip from beneath your top teeth. "don't do that, baby." he watched as you nodded silently. "good girl, i'll give you something to wrap those pretty lips around, don't worry."
he could see your face slowly building a flush, that kind of blush that had him reeling. he liked when he got you like this, all flustered and squirming. which you were, squirming in your seat with your thighs pushing together.
sam was well aware that if he were to reach up your skirt now, he would find a little wet circle sitting on your satin panties.
but instead, he used his hands to pull his own trousers from him. they were sitting tightly on his hips and when he finally pulled them down, you could see his bulge sticking out from his black boxers.
you gulped, hands playing together in your lap. you wanted to look back up at sam but you couldn't seem to tear your eyes away from him, too engrossed by his dick to think of anything else.
"'s how i felt all day, sweetheart." his voice was a whisper now. "you were teasin' me 'n i couldn't do anything about it. do you know how mean that is?"
your eyes snapped up to his, filling with this red glassiness. "w-what?" you didn't want to be mean to sam. he was so good to you, always making you feel good, you wanted nothing more than to be good to him. "'m sorry sammy, 'm really sorry."
"awh, i know, baby." his thumb swiped against your cheek, playing around with your face as if you were dough, thumb dragging across your bottom lip. "you just wanna be my good girl, yeah?"
you nodded quickly. "mmhm, wanna be your good girl, sammy, 'm sorry. 'm really sorry."
"i don't know, you were very bad today." his constant teasing as only making your panties wetter, that tone he was using on you, the one that he knew got you all flustered. "if i give you a second chance, are you gonna be good?"
"uh-huh, 'be so good, sammy, i promise. please, ill be good." you were begging now, eyes as big as saucers and lips wet.
he didn't bother pretending to think about it, he just leaned down, so far that his face was in line with yours, lips against your ear as he softly whispered the words, "then get onto your knee's 'n show me."
when sam winchester told you to do something, you did it, no questions asked.
you'd touched him like this many times before, you on your hands and knees on the mattress while he stood on the ground. he thought it was the most comfortable spot for the both of you, seeing as he was so big.
you did as you were told, moving so you were on your hands and knees against the mattress. your hands moved up to his waist, eyes snapping to his. he watched you intently as you brought your lips to his clothed cock, pressing a pretty kiss against it before using your fingers to pull down his underwear.
you did it without fail every single time.
every time he had you on your knees with his cock in your mouth, you started off with that pretty kiss to his boxers. there was something sickly sweet about it that had his eyes already rolling backwards. it was almost an innocent and naive act of love towards him, laced with lust.
you were on just your knees now, pushing his boxers down with no help from him. his dick sprung free and you could see an idle line of precum dripping down his shaft. instinctively, your hand moved up, thumb swiping the precum and smoothing it over the head of his dick. the act alone caused a grunt to leave his lips.
as pretty as you looked, all curious and ready to take your time, sam simply wasn't having it tonight.
he was too pent up from your silly outfit and his own mindless thoughts that he couldn't help it.
his hand fell to the side of your head, cupping it as he guided it forward. you knew what he was asking and you wasted no time in sticking out your tongue and licking a kitten lick up his shaft.
"fuck," fell from his lips. "good girl." mumbling as your tongue swirled over his head and your mouth wrapped around his dick. sam was a huge man and his dick was no exception to that. he was huge, too big to fit in your mouth but you pushed him in anyway, only covering a little more than half.
sam knew he was big too, he couldn't help the quirk of his lips as he looked down at you, struggling to fit his size into your mouth. his hand slowly guided your head further onto his cock, letting your lips wrap around him completely, your saliva coating him. it wasn't until you gagged that he knew this was as far as you could go.
so he pushed you a little further, anyway.
you brought your head back out then in again, bobbing it as you tongue swirled against him. you were no stranger to sucking sam off but every time you did it, you found yourself getting nervous. you wanted to be good for him and you were doing your upmost best.
his pretty thing.
"fuck, baby, you're doin' so good f'me." and sam knew exactly what effect his words would have on you. "mmph, look so pretty with your lips around my dick, sweetheart."
you couldn't help but moan on his dick.
and his lips quirked into that sickly sweet smile.
he knew how easily you got wet, how all it took was just a few words and you were a moaning, whining mess. sam thought you deserved a little more for all you were giving him than just a little praise.
and like said before, sam was huge so he reached over, his torso towering a little above your head and his arm reached out, soothing down your lower back.
this wasn't the first time sam had pulled something like this. you knew what to do, stomach sinking onto the bed as you rolled your ass into nothingness, wanting to create some kind of friction while your mouth continued to slowly melt around him, licking and sucking, eyes closed as one hand pumped the part of his dick that your mouth couldn't reach.
you felt his fingers tracing the outline of your satin underwear, pulling up your skirt so he could gain access.
you made a noise of complaint, knowing that if he touched you, you wouldn't be able to focus properly on touching him. sam only used his free hand to push your head onto his dick and make you gag again.
he liked watching you fall apart, especially with his dick stuffed in your mouth.
he loved watching the way your body had to bend for him to be able to stick his fingers into your gaping whole, watching as you desperately rolled your hips, wanting him him him. you wanted to feel him. taste him. smell him. he was all consuming, you wanted him to take over your every sense.
and he always did, without complaint.
you were wet, undeniably so, he could feel it through the satin material that he pulled back, getting access to your aching pussy. "there you go, sweetheart, tha's it." while easing two fingers into your hole.
you felt like a slut.
he had you completely and utterly full.
"'s that nice, baby? y'feel so warm." both with your mouth against his dick and your soaking wet hole. "you're so pretty for me, you know that, angel?"
he knew you couldn't respond, only whining and whimpering against his throbbing cock. "you're my good girl, aren't you?" he felt you whine, vibrations spreading through him and he also felt your pussy squeeze against his fingers. he grinned at that. "you like that, honey? like thinkin' about how you're my good girl, yeah? all mine, baby, you're all mine."
and you really were. before sam, you wouldn't look at a boy sideways let alone be like this.
you groaned into him, ass rolling against his fingers while your own free hand moved down. you continued sucking his dick while using your nimble fingers to play with your clit.
and that was enough for sam to let out a moan. "oh, baby, you look so pretty playing with yourself while―shit―sucking my cock."
your eyes rolled back, feeling of pleasure coating you while your soft lips bobbed up and down, fingers tracing him and yourself.
"'m gonna cum, sweetheart." a warning, though he knew you wouldn't move anyway. "you gonna be a good girl 'n cum on my fingers while you suck my cock, huh, baby?"
he felt you absentmindedly nod, too fucked out to think straight while feeling a familiar knot deep in your stomach.
your whines got louder and he felt himself nearing the edge. the sight of you, blissed out while sucking his cock, his fingers stuffed into your hole making you feel all full... he couldn't help but let go.
at the same time, he felt your gummy walls clenching around his fingers, wet juices sliding down his hand while spurts of squirt left your pussy every time his fingers pumped in and out of you, riding out your high.
"good girl, good girl. that's it, baby. oh fuck. yeah, my good girl. there you go." he was in awe, watching you squirt around his fingers, the wet feeling as it spurted out from your pussy, decorating the bedsheets in your juices while your pretty socks got ruined in the mess.
when he finally finished, he pulled his fingers out of you, letting you lean back as you parted your lips to show him his cum all over your tongue, spread messily in your mouth.
his hand was on your face, eyes strained on your mouth as he watched you close your lips and swallow like the good girl you were, swiping his thumb against your bottom lip.
he pushed his two fingers into your mouth, letting you taste yourself. while your eyes rolled back, all fucked out and dumb.
"think we have some time before dean gets back, yeah?" eyes already scanning your body and letting his imagination get the better of him.
he just watched your blissed out face nod, cheeks flushed. "mmhm hmph."
he wasn't done with you just yet.
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main masterlist/sam's masterlist
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wonderjanga · 3 months ago
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Marvel not Caring
I feel like the few times Billy needs to get something over with, he just doesn’t care. Like honestly, I’m going to connect this to my Marvel Compilations post. (In that post I just talked about how Marvel could be a clip farm and the potential vids he would have) Let’s say these are all from the 8 minutes and 47 seconds of the Big Red Cheese tweaking out vid. Cause why not?
One day, Marvel’s doing patrol. See, he wants to get it done with, hopefully with no major villain attacks happening, because Darla has a school play, and he wants to see her, even if she got cast as a tree. But of course, things didn’t go his way, especially just when he needs to start heading out for the play.
*vid opens up to Marvel floating in the sky looking down at a Female Villain*
Female Villain: *attacking people and causing general havoc*
Marvel: *looks around for any cameras and doesn’t see the one recording the vid*
Female Villain: *sees him and his about to do something*
Marvel: *winds hand back (as if he needed to) and backhands her like an abusive husband*
Any Nearby Civilians: *cover their mouths as they look away. A good chunk of them sped walked away*
Female Villain: *knocked the fuck out*
I’m telling you right now, a good chunk of the comments on that video were something along the lines of ““that’s not right,” I whisper to myself as I speed walk away” or ““You don’t hit a woman,” I think to myself as I step into the safety of my car and drive away.” All stuff like that.
The day after that…
Marvel: “I just ended the problem as soon as I could, guys! I don’t beat women!” Superman: “We know! We know, but did you have to it so… so ferociously?”
Marvel: “Ferociously?”
Flash: “Dude, you looked like you’ve been waiting to do that.”
Marvel: “I haven’t! It was just effective, and I was on a time crunch.”
Flash: “Time crunch?”
Marvel: “Yeah, I had to see this person I know go be in a play.”
Batman: “Hn. You could’ve just said you wanted to see your child’s play. I’ll admit I’ve done something similar when Robin was in a play of his own.”
Superman: “Yeah. If the play thing is true, that’s a valid reason for any father to do that.”
Marvel: *a little confused as to why they assumed Darla was his kid* “Uh, yeah. I didn’t want to miss it.”
Flash: “Who was it for by the way? Junior or Mary?”
Marvel: “Neither.”
*silence*
Marvel: “You guys don’t know her. She isn’t a hero.”
Flash: “Dude… you have another kid? Why do you never tell us these things about yourself??”
Then, there’s another clip of Junior and Marvel. Beast Boy recorded the audio for shiggles and hid behind a wall but was surprisingly met with:
Marvel: “Okay, you know what, Junior? I don’t care that you’re disabled. Put your hands up.”
Junior: “Dude, I am not fighting you. You’re stronger than me.”
Marvel: “So? You’re only a little bit weaker. If you paid Mary like five dollars, I’m sure she’d fight with you. Now anyways put your hands up.”
Junior: “She’s not even here! And, hey- hey- Stop that!”
A lot of crashes and bangs could be heard for about 30 seconds. The video then ended.
Then, there’s another clip of him and Mary sibling arguing, but of course, most people think that Cap’s her and Juniors dad. So, when they say certain things, people tend to view it more extremely.
Marvel and Mary: *arguing*
Marvel: *says something completely outlandish that you should absolutely not say to a child*
Mary: *barely blinks and says something right back*
Marvel: “Oh so help me Gods, if we weren’t related, I would scrape your face across the pavement.”
Mary: “Oh yeah? Well if we weren’t related, I would skin you with a butter knife!”
The two proceeded to continue arguing before they somehow make up mid insult and go get ice cream like nothing happened.
Bonus:
Black Adam and Marvel: *floating up in the sky*
Black Adam: “You know, you’ve never said anything remotely similar to that to me.”
Marvel: “What’re you talking about?”
Black Adam: “I would scrape your face across the pavement.”
Marvel: *nearly has a heart attack when he says that*
Black Adam: “You said that to the girl. You’ve shown more disdain for that girl than you have for I.”
Marvel: “Uhhhh…” *panicking cause he doesn’t know about the video*
Black Adam: “Do you… not take me seriously?”
Marvel: “No, no, no, of course I do!”
In this AU, Marvel doesn’t really throw much shade at his villains aside from the occasional comment and that’s it.
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bitterkarella · 4 months ago
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Midnight Pals: Biology
JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i am born again! hallelujah! Rowling: tell me Rowling: have you heard Rowling: the good word about biology? Poe: what Poe: what is this now?
Rowling: on the Scottish census, i answered that my religion is "biology" Poe: King: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: damnnnn Barker: that's real edgy
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers? Poe: joanne says her religion is biology Shelley: haha yes... YES!!! Poe: yes? Shelley: Yes! that's right, fuckers! Shelley: throw out the false morality of religion!! embrace soulless science!
Shelley: finally! The pure, terrifying light of science burns away the shadows of superstition! Shelley: unencumbered by the false morality of so-called religion, mankind can tamper, unimpeded, in God's domain! Shelley: we can make SO many abominations! Shelley: i fuckin' love it!
Rowling: no that iss the oppossite of what i'm trying to ssay Shelley: that's cuz you're weak Shelley: we're attack and dethrone God, fuckers!!
Rowling: that iss not what i meant! Rowling: i meant i hate transs people Shelley: yeah i know what you meant Shelley: i don't give a shit Shelley: my idea is way cooler Barker: yeah she's right that is way cooler
Rowling: no! my religion of biology is actually ANTI-abomination Rowling: i think abominationss are bad Rowling: i'm against them! all of them! Barker: and what abominations are these? Rowling: you know Rowling: transs, fat people, and toiletsss Barker: ya know what, you've lost me
Shelley: abominations are so hot right now Shelley: i'm really into them Barker: not gonna lie i'm actually pretty excited about these abominations now
Koontz: gosh i don't know about all this Shelley: dean what if you made a dog that was SO big Koontz: so big? Shelley: yeah like SO big uh Shelley: so big you needed 2 hands to pet it Koontz: wow! Koontz: that's a big dog! Koontz: that's so big you'd better lead, follow, or get out of the way!
Rowling: thatss the problem with you lot Rowling: alwaysss sso busssy thinking about how to make a big dog, you don't ssstop to think whether you SHOULD make a big dog
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cjlouwho · 3 months ago
Text
part 2 to my lonely tommy fic. this time he's not so lonely anymore.
“What did you do this time?”
“Angela!” Tommy exclaimed, smiling brightly as she walked into the room. “Or Angie? Angel? We never clarified that.”
“You know, when I saw your name I thought dear God, that man's still alive? I was certain you would have sawed off a few more body parts by now.”
“I'm trying to keep my limbs, I promise.”
“So then tell me why you're here, back in recovery.”
“My appendix hates me.”
“Oh, that's a pesky little thing, isn't it?” she asked.
“It is. Are you my nurse today?”
“Not supposed to be, but I've got seniority on Gina, so she can deal with the jackass in 212.”
“I knew I was your favorite,” he replied, giving her a wink.
Angela rolled her eyes. “I haven't looked through your paperwork yet,” she said, waving the file in her hand. “Should I assume nothing's changed from last year?”
“You know what they say about assumptions, Angela.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Are you telling me there's gonna be a person to call in here?”
He nodded. “There is a name and a number. And it's a person I actually know. You won't have to call though.”
“I swear, if you tell me you brought yourself here again-”
“No, no, I didn't this time. I just-”
“I got some jello cups from the nurses station, and ice for- Marie?!”
Angela's eyes widened, a grin on her face. “Buck!” she exclaimed, opening her arms for a hug.
“Marie?” Tommy questioned, confused.
Ignoring him, Angela kept her focus on Buck. “What are you doing here? And in normal clothes! I only ever see you when you're in the bed!”
Buck laughed. “I'm a plus one this time. Tommy's appendix decided to burst in the middle of his shift.”
“You two work together?”
“Oh, no. He's at 217, I'm at 118.”
“He's my boyfriend,” Tommy clarified.
“Ohh, okay.” She turned toward Tommy, wiggling her eyebrows. “That's some new information for me.”
Buck took the ice and jello over to Tommy. He tore off the lid and scooped a little bit of the lime jello onto a spoon, then brought it up to Tommy's mouth. He took the bite without complaint.
“They only want him eating soft foods for the next few hours,” Buck said as Angela watched them both with nothing but fondness on her face. “But he gets hungry so fast I keep going for more jello cups.”
“How about I search around for something that will keep you fuller a bit longer?” Angela suggested. “Like some mashed potatoes?”
Tommy swallowed the next bite of jello. “That actually sounds really good.”
“I'll be right back.”
“Wait!” Tommy exclaimed before she could get too far. “Marie?”
She walked back over to his bed. “It's my middle name, and it's what everyone else calls me. You have to keep calling me Angela, because you pissed me off,” she said, gently smacking his leg with the file folder.
“Ohhh,” Buck teased, looking at Tommy with wide eyes, “someone's in trouble.”
“You had me worrying about you for a whole damn year while you were cozying up to one of my favorite patients? The nerve, Thomas.”
“Yikes,” Buck grimaced. “You got Thomas'd.”
“That's just Angela's way of telling me she loves me.”
“Mhm. You've aged me, Mr. Kinard.”
“This could have all been prevented if you'd let me use you as my emergency contact.”
She shook her head. “I'll be back with potatoes. Keep him in check, Buck!”
“Will do.”
Once she left the room, Buck eyes Tommy. "So you know Marie too?"
He nodded. "I do."
*****
After eating some potatoes, Tommy dozed in and out for the next couple of hours.
After that, he and Buck were in the middle of a very competitive episode of The Price is Right when there was a knock on the door.
One by one, people began to file in, much to Tommy's surprise.
Eddie, Hen, Bobby, Athena, Maddie, and Howie gathered into the room, hands filled with different items.
After all the hello's and how are you's, they took turns handing over what they brought.
“We brought flowers,” Athena said, setting them on a corner table. “To brighten the place up a bit.”
“Jee wanted to make you something special to look at while you're in here,” Maddie said, breaking through the crowd to hand Tommy a piece of paper. “She said it's her, her Uncle Buck, and her Uncle Tommy at the zoo.”
Tommy stared down at the picture. Three people, a step above stick figures, with their hands connected as they walked down a path. Some birds and other unidentifiable animals surrounding them.
“It's beautiful,” he said, speaking softly. “Tell her I said thank you. I love it.”
“Karen made cookies.” Hen dropped a bag down on Tommy's tray table. “Snickerdoodle and red velvet. They're your favorites, apparently?”
“They are!” Tommy replied in surprise. “I can't believe she remembered that. I just mentioned it in passing one day.”
“Karen remembers everything about the people she cares about,” Hen responded with a grin. “One of the many things I love about her.”
“We made a schedule,” Eddie said, pulling a piece of paper out of his back pocket.
“Buck made a schedule,” Chimney clarified.
“I've given Buck a couple days off,” Bobby said, “and after that we will be bugging you in shifts.”
“You guys don't have to-”
“Don't even try to fight it,” Hen interrupted. “We've already been made to memorize our individual schedules and tasks.”
“This is happening, Tommy,” Eddie said, giving him a pat on the shoulder, “whether you like it or not.”
Athena hummed. “And I can guarantee by the time you have fully recovered, you will not.”
“He's gonna love it,” Buck said, glaring over at Eddie. “Who brought the balloons?”
“That would be me,” Eddie replied. “Along with an airplane-shaped stuffed toy that actually used to be Christopher's, but he hasn't touched it in years.”
“And I found the cutest teddy bear in the gift shop,” Chimney said, coming up beside Tommy to tuck the bear into his side, “because I don't bring used toys to my friends.”
“Rude!” Eddie exclaimed. “At least he likes airplanes.”
“He likes bears too!” Chimney defended, then he looked down at Tommy. “You like bears too, right?”
“That could mean so many different things to me,” Tommy replied honestly. “But, yes, I love the teddy bear and the airplane. Thank you guys. All of you.”
“I know I didn't technically bring anything,” Bobby said, “but I will be making you guys some meals that you'll just have to heat up for the next couple weeks, at least.”
“You don't have to do that, Bobby.”
“Well, it's not just for you,” Bobby explained.
Athena rolled her eyes. “Here we go.”
“These are new meals I'm trying out,” Bobby continued, “So I need honest reviews before I start making them at work. Don't sugar coat it.”
Tommy lifted three fingers. “Scouts honor.”
As the conversations picked up around him, Tommy settled further into the bed. Buck smiled over at him, taking his hand. “Sorry,” he said, “I didn't know they'd all be coming at once.”
Tommy shook his head. “Don't be sorry,” he replied, giving Buck's hand a squeeze. “This is perfect.”
*****
It was dark outside when Angela came back into the room for her final check before getting off shift. The only light filtering through the room came from the bathroom. Tommy was sitting up, staring down at the drawing Jee had given him.
“Wow!” Angela exclaimed as she walked in. “Someone had a lot of visitors today.”
The room was littered with items that had been left behind.
Tommy smiled up at her. “Yes, Ma'am.”
“We could hear you all laughing from down the hall,” she said as she began to switch out his IV bag. “It was nice.”
“Yeah, it... It was.”
“Did you finally get your boy to go home?”
“Uh, no.” Tommy set the drawing back down on the table. “He's actually gone to get more blankets. I told him I was fine, but he said my feet always get cold at night so I'd need extra.”
“He takes good care of you.”
“Yeah, he does.”
She grinned down at him. “You take good care of him?”
“I try to,” he answered honestly.
They fell into a comfortable silence as she finished up her work.
She gave him a couple of sideways glances before asking. “You okay?”
He bit at his lip, suddenly overcome with emotion as he stared at his GET WELL SOON balloon. Everything had changed so much in the past year. His old life felt nearly unrecognizable.
“It's just a little overwhelming,” he admitted, clearing his throat. “Last time I went home from here I was alone. I took care of myself until I got better. This time I have a schedule to memorize of who is visiting when.”
“Sounds like a good problem to have to me.”
“It is,” he agreed, even as his voice broke. “I just never thought I'd have people.” His eyes burned, filling with tears. “Doesn't feel like I deserve it.”
“Oh, honey.” She leaned over the bed, cradling his head in her arms. She could feel the wetness from his tears on her sleeve. “You are so loved,” she told him as he let himself be held. “You deserve that.”
She leaned back enough to hold onto Tommy's face, wiping his tears with her thumbs as she spoke to him. “All these people who showed up for you today, they came because they love you. Because you show them the same love. And that man you've got, well, he looks at you like you're more precious than gold. Let yourself be happy, okay? You've got people now. You've got people forever.”
He took a shaky breath and nodded, Angela wiping away the last of the tears before letting him go.
He grabbed a tissue off his tray table and wiped his nose. “Do I get to call you Marie now?” he asked.
She laughed. “Oh, no. You're special, so you're stuck with Angela.”
“I got five blankets and two pillows,” Buck said as he entered the room, “which I know you won't need, but I'm trading chairs with the guy in 212- who's a bit of an ass, by the way- so I get the recliner.”
“You're staying the night?” Angela asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Oh, um, yeah,” he answered sheepishly, his cheeks going pink. “I didn't ask, but I- I figured-”
“It's fine,” she assured him before heading for the door. “I didn't think you'd be leaving anyway. I'll see you two lovebirds in the morning, alright?”
“Goodnight, Marie!”
“Thank you, Angela.”
Buck took one of the blankets and spread it out over Tommy's legs. “I gotta go switch these chairs out. Are you good until I get back?”
Tommy reached out for Buck's hand, tugging on him until he was close enough to kiss. When he pulled away, he smiled. “I'm good.”
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natalievoncatte · 2 months ago
Text
“Okay,” Alex said, “listen, prepare yourself. She’s acting… strange.”
Lena strode next to her, clenching her fists as if she could grip her own cold fury with them. The audacity of Danvers
(Alex)
to call her in like she was some employee after what Kara had done to her, was shocking. She would have told her to fuck right off if not for the desperation in her voice. She almost hung up on her when Alex said it was about Kryptonite, and they needed an expert.
Outside the exam room, Alex directed Lena’s attention to a screen. Some two-bit “villain” (how she hated that word) was on the screen. She wasn’t sure what he was going for with his outfit but he looked like a cross between a cable repairman and a wannabe Ghostbusters with a helmet that reminded her of the cap on a salt shaker. He was thrusting a wand device at Kara, spraying her with a fine pink mist.
Some of the substance had been gathered into a small vial, currently residing in a lead canister. Lena turned the vial in her hands, watching the tiny, powdery crystals flow over each other like sand.
Lena swallowed, hard.
“She’s not on a rampage, so it’s not red kryptonite.”
“It appears to be pink kryptonite,” said Lena.
“Your scientific skills of observation astound me,” said Alex. “Marie Curie would be so proud.”
Lena gave her a flat look.
“Fuck you, Danvers. I haven’t had a chance to say this to your face yet, but fuck you. Fuck all of you, playing your little games mocking me to my face when we were supposed to be friends.”
“We were friends,” said Alex.
“Not friends enough for Kara to tell me the truth.”
“I told her not to,” Alex said, coldly, “and I was right. Maybe I kept at her too long about it, but she ended up keeping the secret because she was afraid you’d flip out and blow up your whole friendship over it, you fucking drama queen.”
Lena screwed the lead canister shut. It looks like it was meant to hold radioactive flour.
“Do you want my help or not?”
“Please save her. I’m prepared to deal with your sanctimonious bullshit if you save my sister.”
“I’ll need to work on the sample, but I should examine her first. Is it safe?”
“She would never hurt you.”
Lena rolled her eyes. Alex stared at her flatly.
“You two, Jesus Christ. If you were anyone else I’d just call it out, but fuck it, let’s keep this professional.”
Lena crossed her arms. “Call what out?”
Alex arched a brow. “Should I start with the office full of flowers or the literal billion dollars you spent on her?”
Lena’s nostrils flared and she felt red creeping up her cheeks. “That wasn’t about her, that was about keeping Edge from owning his own media empire. Murdoch is bad enough.”
“It’s a fashion industry magazine,” said Alex, “and Edge could just start his own. The difference is Kara worked at CatCo, where you started working instead of…”
“Do you want my help or not?”
Lena huffed. “Fine. Let’s go.”
Alex opened the door. Kara was seated sideways on the exam table, swinging her feet like a bored child. There was a faint pinkish tinge to sparking points on her pale skin and she looked up with a slight pink gloss to the whites of her eyes, visible at a distance.
“Heyyyyyyyyy~”, said Kara.
Lena blinked.
“Kara? How are you feeling?”
Kara stared at her hands. “Why are you here? I thought you hated me now.”
Lena felt a sharp sting of regret deep in her chest, but brushed it off, like crumbs from her sleeve. It was as meaningless as crumbs. Kara’s honeyed words were always to sweeten her lies.
Kara resumed staring at her hands. “Humans call them fingers, but I’ve never seen them fing. Oh,” she giggled, wriggling her fingers, “there they go.”
“Kara?” said Lena.
“Oh, hi, I didn’t see you come in,” said Kara. “Some dude sprayed me with glitter and now I’m all funny.”
Alex leaned over. “We only got her in her by convincing her the Backstreet Boys were waiting inside and she spent three hours singing those stupid songs with Nia before I called you.”
Lena licked her lips. “Ah, I see. Kara?”
“Yeah, babe?”
Lena flinched. Babe? What?
“How are you feeling?”
“I feel great,” said Kara. “Kinda… kinda relaxed but excited. I’m excitalaxed! I made up a new word!”
“Would you excuse us a minute?” said Lena.
“Sure,” said Kara.
Lena stepped out and closed the door after Alex joined her.
“Alex,” said Lena.
“Lena,” said Alex.
“She’s high,” said Lena.
“I know,” Alex sighed.
“That’s incredibly dangerous. If she was just a dumb blonde we could let her sleep it off, but she can bench press an aircraft carrier. What if she gets some inane idea in her head and levels half the city?”
“She isn’t going to hurt anyone.”
“Didn’t she throw Cat Grant off a building the last time she was under the influence of something? It was on TV, Alex.”
Alex scowled. “That was different. Also she had it coming.”
Lena’s brows shot up.
“What? She was a bitch to my sister. She made her cry like three times a week. I don’t buy into that hardass girlboss mentor routine, I never liked Kara working for her. It was a relief when you bought the company, I had hopes someone would finally be looking out for her. She’s fragile, Lena.”
Lena blinked. “What?”
“Yeah, turns out that having your planet explode and losing your entire culture, family, and way of life, then losing your foster father, and then having to kill your aunt who is your mother’s twin sister can do a number on you. Might make you a little bit clingy and weird and paranoid about losing everyone you love. Shit, Lena, out of that whole list I just lost my dad and it was not make me a drunk for six years and captain of the varsity slut team. And I’m gay.”
Lena stared at her.
“Why does everyone I know need therapy?”
Kara chose that moment to throw the door open, making them both jump. She was grinning ear to ear.
“I don’t need therapy, I need rum,” said Kara. She turned to Lena and stage whispered, “alien rum that I can get drunk on.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kiddo. Why won’t we go sit down and try to rest.”
Kara snapped her fingers. “I know what we can do! We can go clubbing! Come on, Lena, let’s go clubbing. If I go clubbing with you it’ll make Lena jealous.”
“We are so fucked,” Alex muttered.
Kara started forward, but Lena stepped in her path and pressed a hand to her chest.
She froze, staring open-mouthed at Lena. Lena could feel the muscles flexing under her palm and fingers, the nearly infinite strength pressed against her simple touch and yet yielding to it.
“Kara,” she said, softly, but firmly. “Let’s just go back in the room, okay? You’re intoxicated by the altered Kryptonite you’ve been exposed to and you’re not thinking straight.”
Kara looked her up and down, slowly. Lena felt a hot tingle pass through her and her legs quivered in her slacks. Kara’s eyes had gone dark and her chin dipped slightly and holy shit she was staring directly at Lena’s mouth.
Alex looked at her nervously.
“Lena,” Alex said, in warning.
“She won’t hurt me,” said Lena.
Brainy walked into the lab. “I have good news,” he said. “The half-life of this particular type of Kryptonite is very short, by my calculations it should only last a few… hours…” he trailed off, then added quickly. “I have business elsewhere, excuse me,” and fled the room.
Lena gave Kara a tentative push and the invincible Kryptonian stumbled back. Lena ended up guiding her into the room again and sat her down.
Alex began to follow.
“It’s fine,” said Lena.
“Are you sure?”
“She won’t hurt me. Close the door.”
Kara sat down and stared between her feet, fiddling with her hands.
Lena waited for the door to close and sat down next to her.
“Are you mad at me?” Kara whispered.
“Yes,” Lena murmured. “I’m so angry at you that it makes me want to scream.”
“Oh,” Kara said, her voice small.
Lena sighed. “I’ll never be mad enough to let anything happen to you, Kara.”
“But you’re mad.”
“I’m mad. I let you in, you didn’t do the same for me. I let you see who I am, good and bad, and you held back from me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“But you’re still mad.”
“Yeah,” Lena sighed.
Kara rubbed at her arms, sniffling.
Great, Lena thought, she’s coming down.
“Everybody changes,” said Kara. “Everybody goes away and leaves me. I’m so scared, Lena. I’m so scared of being alone. I was alone forever and ever in my pod and it hurt so much,” she choked out a little sob. “Everyone goes away and I can’t take it. I can’t stand it. I didn’t want you to go away so I lied to make you stay. I’m sorry.”
Lena, haltingly, put an arm around her. Kara leaned her head on Lena’s shoulder.
“Can I make it so you’re not mad at me anymore?”
Curious, Lena thought.
She wasn’t mad at all right now.
Kara began to sob softly, and suddenly, all at once, being mad didn’t make so much sense after all. She still felt it burning in her chest but it had gone from hot coals to dying embers, from raging magma to something bitter and sticky coating her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
“I think you can do anything if you try hard enough.”
Lean smoothed back her hair and curled the sleeve of her designer jacket around her hand and used it to dry the tears, and Kara hugged her, tightly but gently in her insistent way.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know, darling. Just relax and breathe, I promise it’ll be better soon.”
It was a funny thing, when Kara kissed her. It happened so naturally, so easily, that once it began, Lena was hardly aware how it started. It was not a lustful kiss, though she could feel that was there in the hungry way that Kara’s lips tugged at her own, almost pleading. Nor was it sad. It was hopeful, and it made something flare in her chest.
No, more than that. A crushing blast of warm air snuffed the dying embers of fury in her chest and in their place a new bonfire blazed into being, a sudden explosive joyful warmth that would blaze in her forever until the sun went out and the sky went cold. It was as if Kara had given her some red sun fire.
On instinct she lunged into the embrace and suddenly they were on the table, Kara swinging one leg lazily off the side as Lena straddled and locked lips with her.
"Oh God," Lena blurted, yanking back.
"What's wrong, baby?"
Lena almost fell off onto the floor when Kara called her that. She was sitting on Kara, panting.
"We can't," said Lena. "Kara, please, you're high as a kite."
Kara let out a soft, sad sound. Lena brushed her cheek softly. "It's okay. Just let me lay with you."
Kara shifted so Lena could join her, and they lay facing each other.
"I love you," Kara whispered. "You are my red sun, my scarlet sky, my beacon calling me back from the void."
Lena's breath caught. She tucked in close and kissed Kara on her nose.
"I'm tired," said Kara.
"Go to sleep," Lena whispered. “It'll be okay. I'll still love you tomorrow."
With a contented smile, Kara closed her eyes, looking so peaceful that Lena wanted nothing more than to watch over her.
When Alex came in and laid a blanket over them, she had the most frustrating grin on her face.
Lena decided she'd allow it.
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jobean12-blog · 3 months ago
Text
Adventures in Babysitting
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word Count: 2.5K
Summary: You and Bucky are friends and it's clear you both want more but you fight it, scared of your feelings and ruining what you have together. But spending some quality time together can't be such a bad idea...right?
Author's Note: I just needed some fluffiness. So here we are. The little girl in this (niece) is probably around 6ish-7. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thanks Daisy! 🥰
Warnigns: soft and sweet fluff, some flirting, tension, teasing, lots of cute.
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You order your second drink from the barista and weave through the small line to get back to your table. Most of the staff here know you by name and don’t mind that you spend a few hours of your weekend morning enjoying a drink (or three) and reading.
Settling back into the chair you grab your book and try to find where you left off. The door to the shop opens and cool breeze blows in. Taking your warm cup between your fingers you lift it to your lips, hoping the heat will seep into your bones, when you hear your name.
You blink up to see Bucky standing near the counter and a different kind of warmth rushes through your body. His hair is messy, and he’s dressed in a tee shirt and sweats, as if he’s just been out for a run. Even a little sweaty, he looks better than should be allowed.
He pulls out his wallet to pay and your eyes drop automatically to the way the damp tee shirt clings to his shoulders and dips in at his waist, down to where his hip bones…
The sound of the chair scraping along the floor makes you snap your head up to meet his eyes, blue and clearly amused to have caught you ogling him.
He sits across from you, stretching his arms out on the table, and takes his time doing his own, totally blatant, inspection.
You raise a brow.
“Little chilly for a run, isn’t it?” you say.
He shrugs and takes another sip of his drink.
“Let me guess though, as usual, you’re not cold at all.”
He aims a smile at you, ignoring your teasing remark.
“So,” you start, trying again, “what are you doing here?”
His eyes sparkle and he leans forward to push the book in your hands upward, positioning it so he can see the front cover.
“Lookin’ for you doll,” he says simply before reading the title.
“Enjoying your romance?” he asks after, his smile growing wider.
It’s your turn to shrug and you place your bookmark inside the book and close it.
Under the table he stretches his long legs out in front of him and brackets each of his feet against yours, the sides of your legs touching.
“Well?” he asks again.
“I just started it. The tension is building…you know a slow burn, but I think it has potential.”
He stares at you, relaying so much in his expression: just like us?
“Want to get some dinner later?”
“Actually, I have plans,” you tell him.
His expression falls just the tiniest amount.
“Plans?”
“My brother and Marie have a wedding to go to and I promised I’d watch Samantha.”
“Babysitting!” he states. “Now that sounds fun.”
You give him a look and start to gather your things.
“I need to do a few errands before I head over.”
You stand and hook your bag over your shoulder before pushing the chair in. He stands and reaches forward to untwist the strap.
“Ok.”
You stand there, the obvious question (and tension) hanging between you.
“Do you want to babysit with me?” you ask. “Even though I’m sure you’ll find it totally boring.”
“I’ve hung out with Sam’s kids a lot. They’re fun.”
Your eyes widen slightly, and you watch the smooth line of his throat as he swallows.
“Soooo…you want to come?”
“Why not?”
“You might be bored out of your mind.”
His smile melts your insides.
“Maybe doll, but wouldn’t it be more fun if we’re bored together?”
“Are you sure?” you ask. “There will probably be tea parties, and dolls, and a makeover.”
He follows as you head toward the door and holds it open.
“Thanks,” you say.
He smiles. “I’m sure. It’s nothin’ I can’t handle.”
“Ok, great!”
“So, what time?” he asks.
“Five. And you have to bring pizza and let her do your hair if she asks.”
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“You know…and I can’t believe I’m saying this, you’re a great babysitter.”
You wiggle your toes, feet propped up on the coffee table and still drying from the bright pink nail polish Samantha painted on.
Bucky grins at you from across the way where he’s sitting with Sam at a small table, in an even smaller chair, in the middle of what appears to be a very fancy tea party.
His usually soft, floppy hair is spiky now, tied up by bright hair ties in about ten tiny, crazy ponytails.
He leans toward Sam conspiratorially and shoves his thumb in your direction. “I told you she thinks I’m great.”
Sam slides some decorative barrettes into his mess of hair. “And you said cute.”
“You mean you said you’re cute,” you explain, eyeing Bucky. “I never said such a thing.”
“I never said you said it…” Bucky counters and politely thanks Sam when she gives him more tea. “But I know you’re thinking it. Especially right now.”
He throws you a little wink.
Sam smiles at Bucky then at you.
“I think he looks cute!” she says sweetly.
You stand and walk over to them, kissing the top of Sam’s head and without thinking, brushing a finger over a piece of Bucky’s hair that’s come loose.
“Well, you definitely get points for being a good sport.”
You expect him to shoot back with some snarky comment about “points” meaning a blow job or something, but instead he just says, “I’m havin’ fun doll.”
“Do you want more tea?” Sam asks you.
“No thanks baby. It’s getting late and I don’t want to drink anymore. It might keep us up.”
“Well,” she starts with some sass, “I’m not tired.”
She turns back to her dolls and then adds, “and I want to keep playing with Bucky. Don’t you think he’s nice?”
Bucky snickers and you lightly smack the back of his head but before you can answer Sam she continues with another addition to Bucky’s lovely attributes.
“And cute?”                                     
You kneel down beside her, smoothing your hands over her cheeks.
“He is nice,” you say.
“And?”
Her sweet voice once again has some sass.
“And cute,” you add with a roll of your eyes.
Bucky’s eyes light up in triumph and you can’t stop your smile.
“It’s late. Let’s get ready for bed.”
Her lip sticks out and her eyes grow wide.
“But I’m sure Bucky can come back and play again soon. And I’ll bet we can get him to read you a story before bed.”
That seems to placate her for the moment, and she says, “we’re going to watch Moana. He pinky promised.”
You turn to Bucky. “You pinky promised?”
He gives you a heart stopping smile.
“Guess we’re watching some Moana before bed,” you concede.
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Sam agrees to pajamas and teeth brushing before the movie. The three of you settle onto the couch, Sam in Bucky’s lap and you, at her insistence, next to them. Right next to them. You’re all three crammed into one corner and she allows him to take out the hair ties and barrettes with little fuss if he promises to wear his Barbie necklace and never take it off. Ever.
Bucky agrees steadfastly and Sam beams up at him, resting her head on his chest and reaching for his hand.
He’s solid and warm at your side, and it takes a few minutes to get her settled, but soon she’s snuggled up and rather pleased with herself.
Her hand looks positively tiny in his and you keep blinking down to it, marveling at how much bigger he is than her and how absolutely soft and gentle he’s being.
You try desperately to pay attention to the movie. You love Moana. But it’s hard to follow along amid the internal crisis you’re having over his holding her hand and snuggling with her. It’s not sexy. Not sexy at all.
Some time later, Bucky’s voice breaks into your thoughts: “I think she’s out doll.”
You look over to meet his eyes, and in the low light flickering from the TV he’s all sharp jawline and lush lips. The ends of his dark lashes glow against the screen.
“Is she asleep?” he asks you.
You blink out of your stupor before you understand what he’s asking and lean forward to check. Sure enough, her eyes are closed, her breaths soft and even.
“Yep, out like a light. Nice work.”
“I do make a pretty good bed,” he smirks. “But I’m sure the two slices of pizza and cookies did most of the work.”
“No really, “you whisper. “This whole night…you’re amazing. You waltz in here with dinner and cookies and your dreamboat smile, all sweet and charming. You made this whole thing easy. Well done Barnes.”
“You think I’m charming?” he says, and grins.
The light from the TV accents the way his face softens then he smiles, and you have to look away.
“Is that all you took out of that whole thing” you ask.
“I also got sweet, dreamboat…easy.”
You laugh, rubbing a hand over your face. “Of course you did.”
Bucky chuckles softly and rearranges Sam on his lap.
“But really, this was fun. “Sam is a real cutie, and you know I love hangin’ out with you.”
You swallow and try to make sense of what you’re feeling, wanting to explain it to him.
A beat of silence passes between you, and he looks over at the TV. You know you’ve been quiet too long when he clears his throat and shifts next to you.
The air between you is crackling with charge and you’re finding it difficult to deal.
He leans in and tilts his head to look at you. You shift forward and he’s so close, close enough that you can feel each breath and count the tiny patches of gray hairs that line his cheek. His eyes drop to your mouth and back up and he’s asking if this is okay, giving you time to close the distance or pull away.
You want to kiss him.
It takes the smallest effort on your part before you feel him, the barest brush of his lips, the slight catch in his breath against your own. He smells like the six chocolate chip cookies he ate after dinner, and your mouth nearly waters, imagining how good he’ll taste.
Without thinking you close your eyes and part your lips and…
Sam makes a small sound in her sleep and says your name.
You and Bucky exhale like you’ve been holding your breath, before he sits back, pushing a hand through his hair.
“Am I an awful person that I would have given her a thousand bucks to sleep for ten more minutes?” he asks.
Your heart is pounding in your chest, and you laugh. “Only ten?”
He stares at you, watching you settle back against the couch. After a few minutes you feel his finger brush absently along your wrist.
You wonder if his fingers itch like yours whenever he’s around, or if he feels the same tug-of-war inside his chest.
Unable to control the nerves firing rapidly inside your brain you make your hand move, keeping your eyes straight ahead and focused on the TV while turning your palm over and twisting your fingers with his.
He tightens his grip.
Sam is softly breathing with her head resting against your shoulder and after only a few moments of hesitation, you feel Bucky do the same.
The weight of him next to you, so strong and warm, feels comfortable and safe, and soon your eyelids droop. You sink farther into the couch and Bucky, falling asleep to the sounds of The Rock singing, “you’re welcome.”
It can’t be too long after when the front door opens. You vaguely hear footsteps and blink several times before you can make out your brother standing in front of you, holding his phone in his outstretched arm.
“What are you…are you taking a picture?” you ask, voice groggy.
“Do you have any idea how cute you two are?” he asks, looking at this phone before turning the screen toward you.
“That’s super-creeptastic bro.”
You feel Bucky stir next to you and he sits up with a start.
“Relax Barnes,” you brother says. “I’m not gonna beat you up for catching you with the babysitter.”
You realize that you and Bucky are still holding hands, and you pull yours away, ignoring the way you can still feel his palm against your own.
“Really creepy,” you say, gently handing over Sam to your brother.
“How was she?” he asks, smoothing her hair.
“An angel, like always. But she might be marrying Bucky. So, there’s that.”
Your brother laughs. “She could do a lot worse,” he says, then motions that he’s going to put her to bed.
You say goodbye and Bucky walks you out to your car. You stand across from each other, pretending that you didn’t just barely kiss and that you weren’t holding hands. Regardless, things feel calm and safe.
It’s dark and you fumble for the door handle, opening the car to set your bag down inside. When you turn, Bucky takes your hand, looking down at the way it fits in his.
“I had a lot of fun doll. Thanks for letting me hang.”
“Are you kidding? This was the best. Thanks for coming.”
It looks like he’s about to ask you something but then thinks better of it and instead leans in to place a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“Text me when you get home, yeah?”
“Sure,” you answer.
On impulse, you cup his face and stretch to place the lightest kiss on his warm lips.
Stunned, he just stands there, watching as you step back and fight a smile.
His eyebrows slowly rise.
“Doll, you just kissed me.”
“Only a tiny kiss.” You smile up at him and notice the way his eyes flicker to your lips.
He doesn’t move away and instead takes a small step forward, pushing your back against your car door.
Your hand comes up from your side, moving along his chest and around to grab the back of his neck.
“Doll?”
You pull, stretching at the same time and bringing your mouth just a breath away from his.
“Are you…?”
“Just kiss me?” you whisper.
Your fingers tangle in the hair at the back of his neck and you trail kisses along his jaw, soft and hesitant.
His illusion of restraint shatters and he takes your face in both hands and with a groan, presses his lips against yours. He tilts your head, feeling the clench of your hands in his hair, and steps closer, sliding his hands down your back.
He tugs you as close as possible, lining all your softness up with the hard planes of his body.
When he pulls back he’s breathing heavily and he cradles your face in his hands, softly brushing his thumbs over your cheeks.
“Can I…?” he murmurs against your lips.
“Do you want…?” you whisper at the same time.
He smiles and it’s so sincere, crinkling the corners of his eyes and making you swoon.
“Yeah. Yeah I do doll.”
He kisses you again, his lips lingering before he asks, “my place or yours?”
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onelinerbust · 2 months ago
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"I'm going back to my parents with the kids until New Year," Mary said with a resigned sigh, their toddler in her back while the 5 years old Ava gripping her hand
"Are you for real? Babe, the fuck? Why are you so dramatic?" Wes said mid-workout, both of his hands still gripping the dumbbells as if the pump should never stop, even when his marriage is in the brink
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"Dramatic? You voted against my body! Against my rights! Against Ava's future! Why do you have to be so selfish?"
"Well, it's not like if I vote differently, the election suddenly went the other direction. Like.....seriously, calm down. You don't see the other wives walk away from their home,"
"This will be the last thing I said to you as your wife so you better listen to this carefully. Imagine not having a say about your own organ, let alone your own body in its totality. You voted for that. And I wish.......there's some kind...of wa-- way that will make you understand t--t--the feeling of losing autonomy....over your own----
*blackout*
Wes immediately realized that something is totally wrong as he witnessed his own self standing over him, building up sweat like crazy as the impostor finished his set. Then, it hits him, he's wearing his wife's clothing.
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"Fuck yeah babe, finally, you're awake! Got the kids back inside and decided to do my workout while waiting for you to wake up. How do you feel?"
Wes is in complete disbelief. What on the Twilight Zone is happening here? The comically dreadful situation then quickly turned into a more tense setting as the impostor lowered his voice
"You said none of the wives are as dramatic as I am, right? Threatening to leave home and all that? Well, let's just say, this is the kind of way out the ladies managed to pull off. You're not the first one,"
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Wes cannot hide his shock. Is the impostor really saying the truth? Is that why the men were quieter in the neighborhood group chat the past few days? Everything started to make sense, but still, a bodyswap? What kind of witchcraft is this?
"One last thing though. You probably wondered why then the men just accepted their fate and not running around for help. Well, let's just say that once this thick meat plough your new-found hole, you are going to be practically moldable to my whim. I'm definitely going to make you one hell of an obedient stay-at-home-mom devoted to make her husband and family happy, including aligning yourself to all your husband's belief. You will never vote against my wishes, ever again. But let me lift till failure first before I fuck you silly. Enjoy your last few minutes of freedom, babe,"
I think this is my longest story ever. The pictures really triggered something in my mind. Hope you all can enjoy it
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rileyslibrary · 10 months ago
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The elderly lady who owns the convenience store in Simon’s neighbourhood needs help with a faulty fridge. You tag along with Simon and discover more about him than you ever expected.
A/N: Fluff. Cosy read.
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“It’s right there,” Simon says, pointing down the street. “Just need to take care of something quickly.”
You follow his outstretched arm to a convenience store nestled on the corner. Furrowing your brows, you glance back at the street you had just walked down, spotting Simon’s house. It’s very close, you think to yourself. Maybe a three-minute walk away.
That’s weird. You’ve taken that same road to and from Simon’s house many times, yet this is the first time you’ve noticed the store.
Turning your attention back, you look closer at your destination. No wonder you never paid much attention to it. The store seems old and rather inconspicuous, blending into its surroundings seamlessly. Everything is understated, from the building to its decor—if you could even call it that. To the left of the entrance, there’s a stand of old magazines, and on the right, a table with two chairs catches your eye. You glance up at the sign above the entrance.
“Mary Mart,” you read aloud.
“That’s right,” Simon confirms, opening the door and triggering a bell to jingle. “Mary should be inside.”
He holds the door open for you, yet his gaze remains fixed on something inside the store. You step in and follow his line of sight to a lady holding a newspaper up to her face. That must be Mary, you presume.
“You alright, Mary?” Simon asks softly.
Yup, that’s definitely her. The newspaper covers most of Mary’s petite frame as she sits behind the counter. She seems so absorbed by her reading that she didn’t hear you come in.
Simon sighs and shakes his head. He gently taps the back of the newspaper to get her attention. Mary lowers the paper to her nose, and her face lights up immediately at the sight of Simon.
“Didn’t see you there!” Mary shouts, lowering the newspaper to the counter. “You alright, my dear?”
“Yes, Mary,” he murmurs, “neither did you see nor hear us.”
“What?” Mary asks, letting go of the newspaper and cupping her ear.
Simon taps his own ear, indicating that Mary needs to adjust her earpiece. Mary’s eyes widen, and she quickly follows Simon’s lead, turning her earpiece on. She gives him a nod.
“Better now?” Simon asks.
“Much, much better,” Mary confirms, then turns to you with a broader smile. “And who do we have here?”
You politely nod, introducing yourself to Mary, but Simon interjects before you say much.
“So tell me, Mary,” He says, glancing towards the back of the store where the fridges are, “which one’s acting up?”
“Oh, I can’t remember, dear, but it’s hard to miss it,” Mary replies, sighing. “It’s the one with the towels underneath. Keeps dripping water.”
Simon nods, his gaze still focused on the fridges. He begins heading towards the back of the store, and you instinctively follow behind him.
“How lovely of you, Simon,” Mary’s voice sounds from behind you. “Bringing me some company while you take care of that fridge.”
You stop in your tracks, and Simon does, too. Point taken, Mary. You glance towards Simon, and he gives you a nod.
“She’s harmless,” he whispers, brushing your hair back. “And a pretty nice lady.”
“Don’t be long.” You whisper back. “We still need to go get some breakfast.”
Simon nods and continues to the back of the store. With a sigh, you return to the counter where Mary is and settle into a nearby chair.
“Anything newsworthy?” You ask.
“Nothing much, dear,” Mary replies, adjusting her newspaper. “The weather’s terrible, the economy’s getting worse, and people won’t stop killing each other.”
“Oh...” you murmur, “yeah, that’s bad.”
“Well, at least Boots has 20% off on all moisturizers,” she announces, slightly more enthusiastically than one might expect for moisturizers. She picks a pair of scissors from under the counter and starts snipping the voucher.
With Mary on a mission to get that 20% off of that newspaper, you take the opportunity to peek at Simon. He’s kneeling in front of the fridge at the back of the store, focused on the appliance. Occasionally, his brow slightly furrows as he inspects the faulty machine. Then he pauses, nods, and grabs tools or shifts his position to get a better look at it. You, on the other hand, have no idea what he’s doing, nor do you care. You are hungry and caffeine-deprived. You’re pretty sure Simon feels the same way.
Meanwhile, Mary has finished cutting through the voucher and returned to her reading. She often flips through the pages and snaps the newspaper to straighten it and remove wrinkles. Sometimes, she hums, acknowledging her current read. Other times, she clicks her tongue disapprovingly at whatever news she comes across.
And you? Well, you’re bored out of your mind, so you begin scanning the shelves and displays, taking in the assortment of merchandise neatly arranged throughout the store. Your eyes briefly pause on various items—a stack of magazines, a display of snacks, a row of household essentials—before finally settling on an old photograph hanging behind Mary.
In the photograph, a young man wearing a military uniform stands confidently. He appears to be in his late twenties and sports a well-kept moustache. Rather than looking straight ahead, his gaze seems to be directed right behind you. He looks confident. Strong. He feels present, even if he’s not here.
“Handsome, huh?” Mary asks, peering over her glasses before turning towards the picture behind her. “That’s my Walter right there.”
You clear your throat and nod. “Very handsome indeed,” you confirm. “Is he your husband?”
“Was,” Mary corrects with a wistful smile, her eyes drifting back to you. “My very first and last one.”
“Which war?” you ask, gesturing towards his uniform.
“You mean which war he served in or which war he died in?”
“Both,” you shrug.
“Served in too many,” she says proudly, lowering her gaze to her newspaper. “But the war my Walter lost had no guns or weapons.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
Mary looks up from her newspaper, meeting your eyes with a tilt of her head and a warm smile.
“Coffee?” she offers but doesn’t let you respond. She has already turned her back to you, brewing a fresh pot.
“No, thank you,” you reply. “We intend to grab some on our way to breakf-”
“I don’t think Simon will finish anytime soon, dear,” she interjects.
“Then yes, please,” you reply, then mouth a silent ‘shit’ to yourself so that Mary doesn’t hear you. You peek once more at the back of the store where Simon is.
“He’s handsome as well, isn’t he?” Mary states, with her back still turned towards you.
You blush at Mary’s observation and look down at the gum assortment in front of the counter. “Yes,” you agree, nodding with a smile. “Yes, he is.”
“Met at the base?” She asks, pouring you a cup of coffee.
“You know where we work?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
“It takes one to know one, dear,” she says, turning towards you and handing you a cup of coffee. “Milk? Sugar?”
“No, thanks,” you reply. “So you also served in the military?”
Mary’s expression shifts, her face lighting up as she lifts her index finger.
“Serve!” she exclaims, “Silly me; I forgot to serve the biscuits!”
She retrieves a plate covered with tin foil from below the counter and uncovers it, pushing the platter towards you. You politely decline, thanking her for the offer. But Mary insists.
“I made them myself,” she tells you warmly.
“And I’m sure they taste lovely, but-”
“Take the biscuit,” Mary commands sternly, yet still smiling.
You look up at her, and without looking back at the plate, you take a biscuit. You don’t know which one you picked, what flavour it is, or if there are any allergens in it. Mary’s assertiveness is enough to make you pop it right into your mouth.
Her smile widens. “Good?” she asks.
The biscuit is indeed good. Very good. But even if it weren’t, you wouldn’t dare say otherwise—not only out of respect for Mary’s age but also because something tells you she might have more experience than the convenience store owner she portrays herself to be.
“They are amazing, Mary,” you reply and swallow.
“Simon likes those too,” she states proudly. “I often bring some over when I bake them.”
“So you live nearby?” You ask, swallowing another bite of the biscuit.
“I’m his landlord,” Mary reveals, nudging the plate of biscuits closer to you, “help yourself to another.”
You oblige and take another biscuit, and Mary continues once you take a bite.
“So,” she begins, blowing the steam off her coffee, “I’ve seen you plenty of times in my neighbourhood.”
“I, um,” you lift one shoulder and idly pick up a pack of chewing gum from the assortment in front of you. “I do come by often.”
“I know,” she replies, sipping her coffee. “You’ve been passing by my store a lot lately.”
You subtly turn your head towards Simon’s direction, letting your hair fall to the side of your face to conceal your blushing cheeks from Mary’s view. Yet she doesn’t seem to let go.
“He’s a good lad,” Mary states. Always there when neighbours need him, ready to lend a hand.”
“Indeed, he’s very good with his hands.” You reply.
“You know best, my dear,” Mary remarks, smirking.
“I meant with fixing things!” You say, widening your eyes. “He’s good with his hands when it comes to fixing things!”
Mary chuckles knowingly. “He’s also quite popular with the ladies—both the single and the taken ones,” she continues.
“Oh, is he now?” You respond in a high-pitched voice, narrowing your eyes. You turn your body towards Mary, placing the chewing gum package back in its original position.
“Yes,” she confirms, leaning over the counter. “Simon never rejects the attention, being such a good-looking lad, but at the same time, he never reciprocates.”
“How do you know he doesn’t reciprocate?”
“Oh, you’d be impressed what people say in front of an old lady who, allegedly, forgets to switch her earpiece on.” She says, winking at you.
“So, women flirt with him, huh?”
Mary throws her head back and chuckles, flicking her wrist at you. “Oh please, my dear,” she says in between chuckles, “I would have practically done the same if I was fifty years younger and Walter wasn’t around.”
“And he doesn’t flirt back?” You ask.
“No, not really, but he used to be friendly with them.” She explains, tilting her head toward you. “And then something changed.”
You shift in your seat and lean forward. “What?” You ask, intrigued. “What changed?”
Mary leans closer, sliding the biscuit platter toward you.
“Mary, I should probably lay off the biscuits,” you say. “We’re supposed to be heading out for breakfast, remember?”
“Make it a brunch, dear, or whatever you young people call it nowadays,” she replies. “Simon won’t be fixing the fridge anytime soon.”
“How do you know?” you ask. “You just said he’s great at fixing things.”
“Not when there’s nothing wrong with the fridge in the first place.”
“What do you mean?” You ask, furrowing your brows.
“I detached the defrost drain to simulate water leakage,” she explains. “It’s an easy fix, but you can oversee it quite easily, especially when the fridge is as old as I am.”
“You tinkered with the fridge on purpose?” you ask, eyes wide with surprise. “Why?”
“Oh please,” she sighs, rolling her eyes, “I had to bring you both here somehow.”
You glance at the cookie platter. Understanding that you won’t get any more information from Mary unless you indulge, you grab another cookie and pop it into your mouth. Mary, the ‘insert-biscuit-here-to-continue’ lady, takes the cue and continues.
“And then, as I was saying, you began to visit more often,” she explains, glancing over at Simon. “And his reaction to all the attention shifted.”
“You need to elaborate a little bit more, Mary,” you press. “How exactly did it change?”
“Girlfriend!” she exclaims in a hushed tone, widening her eyes at you. “He says he has a girlfriend!”
You widen your eyes, just like her, and point at yourself. She nods and points back at you.
“And then there’s the toothbrush,” she continues. “He bought two! A green one and a pink one.”
“He gave me a pink toothbrush when I stayed over for the first time!” you whisper. “Said he’d bought it ages ago and forgotten about it!”
“He bought a pink toothbrush as a spare for himself?” She asks, and her eyes narrow. “Nonsense! It wasn’t too long ago, and I have the receipts.”
“You keep receipts for these things, Mary?”
“No, silly,” she shakes her head. “It’s for tax purposes.”
“Right, so, I’m the girlfriend apparently,” you murmur, massaging your temples. “But why are you telling me all this?”
“Simon isn’t much of a talker, dear,” Mary explains, her tone softening. “Not to mention the horrors he’s been through. Sometimes, you might even misunderstand him because of it. But I’ve known him for a long time. He’s like family to me. Sometimes, when words fail him, I feel the need to speak on his behalf.”
“So you’re looking out for him,” you conclude, slowly nodding.
“Like the child I never had,” Mary confirms with a warm smile, pouring another cup of coffee. “And I can see how much he cares about you. But he’s not always good at expressing it. That’s why I thought I’d give you a little hint.”
“Thank you, Mary,” you say. “I appreciate you looking out for us.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she says, handing you the extra coffee. “Now, how about you go over there and tell Simon to take a break? You can use the chairs outside while I go and reattach the defrost drain to the fridge.”
“Sure thing,” you reply and grab the coffee. “I just have one more question.”
“Go ahead,” she says.
“If Simon asks me what we’ve been talking about, what should I tell him?”
“Tell him I was rambling about the weather, the economy, and the 20% voucher from Boots,” she suggests, winking. “You’re a smart girl; that’s why he picked you. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
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2K notes · View notes
corroded-hellfire · 2 months ago
Text
Food, Football, and Friends - Eddie Munson x Reader
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An As You Wish story
Summary: With so many people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner, it's no surprise things get a little chaotic.
Note: Happy Thanksgiving!
Warnings: chaos that is typical of this family, Eddie's breeding kink doesn't take a holiday off, Dustin is married to someone that is not Suzy sorry
Words: 3.7k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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Not bothering to knock, Steve opens the front door to the Munson household and pops his head inside.
“This looks like a nice house,” he says as he pushes the door all the way open. “Might be able to steal something nice.”
A huff comes from behind him and Mia pushes in the house past her father. The six-year-old scowls as she leans down to unbuckle her shiny Mary Janes.
“We’re not thieves!” Her voice carries throughout the house, summoning the little person who has been waiting all day to see her.
“Miaaaaaa!” Eliza’s heavy tread thumps down the hallway as she runs into the living room at full speed. The friction of her white tights against the carpet halts her when she reaches her destination. 
Before Mia can answer, Steve crouches down in front of the youngest Munson. He frowns and tilts his head, a few chestnut locks falling in his eyes.
“What about me? Am I chop liver?” 
Your toddler giggles and leaps into her uncle’s arms. She wraps her arms around his neck for a hug, but before she can pull away, Steve stands up, hoisting her over his shoulder in an attempt to keep her from her best friend.
“Noooo!” Eliza whines, her little legs kicking. 
“Oh, fine,” Steve sighs as he lets her down.
Eliza straightens her black and white dress before looking up to see Wayne walk in the door right behind Nancy.
“Grandpa!”
“There’s my girl!”
Wayne scoops her up and peppers kisses all over her face. The small girl giggles and tries to push his face away, his scruff tickling her.
“Where’s Daddy?” Wayne asks.
“Dunno,” Eliza answers with a shrug.
“He’s outside,” Luke says as he strolls into the room.
Nancy can’t help but notice how her youngest’s face lights up when the twelve-year-old Munson walks into the room. She clamps her lips together, trying not to giggle at Mia’s adorable crush on Luke, acting like she doesn’t notice the hearts in the young redhead’s eyes.
“Should we lock him out?” Steve asks about your husband.
Wayne sighs. “Eh, he’s scrappy, he’ll find a way back in,” he says as he sets Eliza back down. 
The moment her feet hit the ground, the toddler runs over to Mia and throws her arms around the girl’s sparkly silver dress. Concentration on Luke broken, Mia laughs and falls to the ground with Eliza, giving her a hug in return. 
“Yeah,” Steve says as he watches the girls. “I think the little munchkin would let him in.” He nods towards Eliza.
“She can’t reach the door,” Danny points out to his dad.
“Eliza finds a way to do anything,” Luke says, his tone conveying all the experience he’s had in that regard.
Before anyone else can add to the conversation, the sound of clinking and clanging pots and pans rings out from the kitchen. Automatically, everyone's heads turn in that direction. 
“Shit!” Your voice echoes out into the living room.
Immediately, Nancy brushes past her husband, patting him on the chest as she goes by.
“Play nice,” she tells him as she continues into the kitchen. The sight before Nancy has her biting her lip to keep in a grin for the second time in a matter of minutes. There you stand, holding a pot lid in one hand, holding the top of your head in the other. Your friend cocks an eyebrow at you. “Everything okay in here?”
Lamely, you raise the pot lid and give her a small wave with it.
“Gave myself a concussion looking for this so the mashed potatoes better taste damn near perfect.”
“I’m sure they will,” Nancy assures you, coming closer to take the lid out of your hand. She gently sets it on the pot simmering on the stove and turns back to you. “Anything I can do to help?”
Steve’s voice booms out from the living room before you can respond.
“You’re on, Munson!”
Eyes rolling skyward, you heave a sigh and shake your head.
“Keep our husbands from injuring themselves before dinner?” you ask.
“I’m afraid not.” Nancy winces. It’s an impossible task, you both know that.
As you open the refrigerator to grab the milk, Luke runs into the room–never one for just walking–with a grin on his face. 
“We’re going to play football!” he announces.
You raise an eyebrow as you measure out the cup of milk to add to the mashed potatoes.
“Who exactly is ‘we?” you ask.
“Me, Ryan, Theo, Danny, Uncle Steve, Grandpa, Daddy…and uh, maybe Natalie.”
The mention of your husband has you turning to give your son your full attention, letting the measuring glass of milk clank down on the counter.
“Your father is going to play football?”
“He’s gonna try,” Luke says with a mischievous snicker. You completely agree with your sports-loving son’s disbelieving and amused tone. You’re not even sure Eddie knows what the different positions in football are called.
“Is that what he and Steve were bickering about?” Nancy crosses her arms over her chest and rests her hip against the edge of the kitchen table.
“Yeah,” he affirms. “Mia is gonna stay in the living room with Liza.”
“Luke, come on!” Theo calls out.
“My daughter is a little mother hen,” Nancy says with a smile as Luke runs out to join his new team. Mia may be the youngest sibling in her family, but that means she takes the responsibility of having a toddler best friend very seriously. 
Noise clatters from your backyard and you take a few steps to look out the large window over the kitchen sink. Through it, you can see Steve and Eddie standing next to each other, pointing at the mass of children that are in front of them—all of them except Ryan and Natalie.
“Come on, it will be fun,” Ryan says from the next room just as you’re wondering about him.
The unmistakable sigh of a teenage girl is heard before Natalie agrees, “Fine.”
Their footsteps fade out the door and Nancy raises her brow at you.
“I’m impressed,” she says. “No one can get Natalie to do anything anymore.”
“Hormones?” you ask, turning back to the stove as some boiled water sloshes over the side of a pot. The steam hisses and floats off into the air.
“Oh, yeah. Having a teenage daughter is great.”
“Oof, I do not miss being a teenager,” you say.
“What, you stopped, like, last year?” 
You spin around to see Nancy smirking at you, and you whip your kitchen towel at her in an attempt to wipe the shit eating grin off her face. She laughs and swats the rag away, affectionately wrapping an arm around your waist as she comes to stand beside you.
“Come on, now let me help you,” she chides.
“Fine,” you relent. “Want to chop those carrots?”
“No problem.”
Loud footfalls stampede towards the kitchen, but they’re not quite as heavy as Eliza’s usually are, so you’re not surprised when Mia comes racing into the kitchen. One of these times these running children are going to hurt themselves.
“Auntieeee?” she asks you as she comes to a stop.
“Miaaaaaa?”
“Eliza is hungry,” she tells you. “Can I get her a snack?”
“Sure thing, cutie.” You wipe your hands off on the towel and walk over to the pantry. The Cheerio box is right at eyelevel as you reach for it and hand it to Mia. “Just make sure she doesn’t eat too many, okay?”
“Okay!” she calls over her shoulder as she runs out with the box.
Just as you’re about to reach for a knife, the doorbell rings. You head out to the living room, smiling when you see Eliza and Mia sitting in front of the television, sharing Cheerios and watching the rerun of the Thanksgiving Day Parade. The big Snoopy balloon passes by as you grab the doorknob. There stand Lucas and Max with their daughter Tiffany, and Dustin with his wife Anne and their baby girl, Molly. The moment she sees you, Tiffany launches herself forward with a squeal. She wraps her arms around your hips and hugs herself against your body.
“Well, hello there,” you greet her. To allow everyone else into the house, you pick up the six-year-old and take a few steps back from the door. “You wanna join Eliza and Mia?” When she nods, you let Tiffany down to go join the other girls.
The moment your arms are free, you’re being pulled into more hugs with everyone and wishes for a happy Thanksgiving. Last but not least, you pluck Molly from her mother’s arms and give her a big kiss on the cheek.
“I can’t believe how big she is!” you coo. Now well over a year old, the last time you saw the youngest Henderson was when she was nine months. 
Dustin grabs her walker from the car, since she’s still new to the whole walking thing and not the steadiest. He sets it down in the living room and you plop her down in the Minnie Mouse themed rover. She instantly takes off in the direction of the television, as if knowing she wants to be a part of this little girl gang.
“Eliza?” you call. “Do you want to come say hi?”
It takes her a second, but finally, Eliza finishes the Cheerio that’s in her hand and pushes herself up on to her feet. She toddles over, smiling when she sees her Aunt Max—who is arguably her favorite person who is not a Munson or Harrington. Her aunt gives her a big hug. Then, Eliza stops in front of Dustin. Saying nothing, she just stares up at him, her big brown eyes blinking a few times.
“Hi, Eliza!” When your daughter doesn’t answer, Dustin kneels down to be at her level. “Remember me? Uncle Dustin?”
She just keeps staring.
Lucas laughs at the little girl’s nonreaction and snatches her up into his own arms. “Mwah!” he presses a kiss to her cheek. Instantly, Eliza grins and wraps her arms around his neck for a hug.
Dustin pouts up at the scene before him, lower lip jutting out dramatically as he stands back up.
“Hey! I’m the cool uncle!” he protests. And it’s true; if the other kids were in the house right now, they’d all be climbing over Dustin until the poor man gets lost in a sea of children.
“Guess not anymore,” Lucas says with a shrug.
“It’s gotta be because I live further away,” Dustin argues. “She sees me less.”
“Sure,” Lucas says, his tone far from sincere.
Max rolls her eyes at the two men’s bickering, presumably tired of it after hearing it for almost a decade and a half. The redhead takes Eliza from her husband’s arms and turns to face Dustin’s wife.
“These stilly boys,” Max says to Eliza. “Say hi to your Aunt Anne?”
Your daughter gives a small wave, but it’s clear from the blank look on her face that she just wants to be put down to go back to Mia. Sensing this as well, Max grants her wish.
“Where’s Ed?” Dustin asks.
“In the backyard,” you say. “Playing football.”
“Football?” Dustin almost chokes on his own spit out of shock.
“I know,” you say.
“I have to see this,” Lucas says, looking towards the back door and rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 
He and Dustin go to join the game in the backyard while Max and Anne follow you into the kitchen. Nancy greets the new arrivals while you take up your previous position at the stove. As you lift the lid off the pot on the back burner, you listen to the women behind you talking and laughing. It brings a smile to your face to be surrounded by women friends. Besides a two-year-old, the only others in the house are guys. And as much as you love them, it’s not the same as having other ladies around.
Two sets of running feet zoom past the kitchen and the sound of the squeaky hinges on the backdoor let you know the two six-year-olds have gone to join the fun outside. You peek back out the window and chuckle to yourself when you see Mia and Tiffany cheering on the sidelines. Unsurprisingly, they seem to be cheering for the team that Luke is on. Mia’s idea, no doubt.
There are only a few more potatoes to add to the pot in front of you, so once those are in you go out into the living room to check on the younger girls. A gasp strangles out of you when you first see the two. Then as your brain has a moment to adjust and see that everything is okay, you break out into laughter.
“What did you do, little girl?” you ask your daughter. You shake your head in amusement as you walk over to the two of them, both covered in Cheerios that are also scattered around the living room floor.
Eliza grins up at you, small pieces of Cheerios still sticking to her baby teeth.
“Molly hungry!” she tells you.
“Oh, okay,” you say with a nod. “So, you thought to give her a snack like Mia did for you?”
“Mhmm!” She sounds quite proud of herself, and it makes your heart melt.
“Well, that was very thoughtful of you.”
Laughter erupts from behind you, and you look over your shoulder to see Max walking into the room. She takes in the mess before her and looks between the two babies.
“What’re you troublemakers doing?” she asks as she comes up beside you. 
A timer in the kitchen drags your attention away from the conversation and Max waves you on in that direction.
“Go ahead, take care of that. I’ll clean this up, then take these two outside. They can be the referees.”
“Thank you.” You give Max’s shoulder an appreciative squeeze as you walk past her.
Back in the kitchen, you turn off the timer and pull the green bean casserole out of the oven. 
Cheers ring in from the backyard, bringing a smile to your face. Anne steps up to look out the window at everyone.
“I think I’m going to go make sure no one is doing anything stupid,” she says.
“Nurse is never off duty, huh?” Nancy asks with a smile.
When Anne steps out of the room, you turn to Nancy and raise an eyebrow. 
“She wants to make sure no one is doing anything stupid?” you ask. “She clearly doesn’t know that is most of what our husbands do.”
Nancy laughs and nods her head in agreement.
“We should keep her here as an on-call nurse.”
“She’d be busier here than in the ER,” you joke. 
You and Nancy work silently side by side for a little while, before Nancy notices you starting to buzz around the kitchen more, a hectic mood settling over you. She licks over her lips before looking in your direction.
“Is something burning?” she asks.
“What?”
You whip your head around to stare at her before looking at the stove. 
“Smell it?” she asks, grabbing a paper towel to wipe her hands off on.
You take a few deep inhales, and a frown pinches your face.
“No,” you admit.
“That’s because there’s nothing burning,” Nancy says, taking a few steps closer to you. She rests her hands on your shoulders and looks you in the eye. “But it got you to take some deep breaths. Take a few more, okay?”
Catching on to her scheme, you narrow your eyes at her as you do indeed take a few more deep breaths.
“You’re sneaky,” you tell her.
“I have to be with four kids,” she replies. 
It’s not long before the game outside comes to an end and people start coming back into the house in waves. Eddie finally comes in and your heart stutters in your chest when you see him. His face is flushed from the exertion, his breathing a little labored for the same reason. His hair is frizzier than usual and when he comes closer to you, you can feel the chill coming off of him. It’s only confirmed when you put your hands on his cheeks and feel how cool they are to the touch. His smile makes you dizzy, not even registering how cold his lips are against yours when he leans in for a kiss.
“Everything smells good,” he mumbles against your mouth.
“Did you win?” you ask, reluctantly going to check on the turkey.
His sigh tells you the answer before his words do.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he grumbles.
Both you and Nancy share a chuckle as he sulks out of the room. Ryan pops in right after, going over to the sink to wash his hands. His face is flushed like his father’s, but his hair is faring far better. Wayne, Theo, and Danny come in behind your son and Wayne goes into the fridge to grab water bottles for all the boys.
“Can I help?” Ryan asks you as he dries his hands.
“Of course, sweetheart.” You press a kiss to his head as you slip by him to grab the salt. “Do you want to get started on the stuffing?”
“Sure.”
Danny wrinkles up his nose as he takes a sip of his water.
“Cooking is for girls,” the eight-year-old declares.
“Danny!” Nancy immediately snaps. 
“Hey,” Wayne says, nudging the boy on the shoulder. “I was a cook in the army. That don’t sound girly, does it?”
Danny shakes his head, looking cowed.
“No,” he says softly.
“What do you say?” Nancy asks.
“I’m sorry.”
Ryan ruffles the boy’s hair before pretending to spill the bowl of breadcrumbs he’s carrying all over him. Danny laughs and runs away before Ryan can actually make a mess of him.
“Hey, all available squirts!” Eddie calls from the next room.
“I’m not available,” Ryan mumbles, obviously not keen on whatever his father has planned.
Luke trails into the kitchen and looks around, confused like he hasn’t lived there for years.
“Uh, I’m supposed to set the table. Where’s the stuffs?” he asks.
“By yourself?” you ask, showing him where you already have the cookery and cutlery out and ready to go.
“Nope.” 
Luke lets out a small chuckle but before you can ask what’s so funny, Mia follows in behind him. It’s clear she volunteered to be your son’s assistant.
“I’m here to help!” she announces. 
Carefully, you load up both kids with as much as you think they’re able to handle. Luckily, a parade of other small humans comes in to finish the job.
“Quite the operation you’ve got going here,” you say to your husband as you step into the dining room. “Putting the kids to work.”
“They’re my elves,” he says with a shrug. 
You giggle and press a kiss to his cheek before walking back into the kitchen.
Ryan and Natalie amble in, neither looking too happy. Eddie doesn’t ask why; he knows they’ll tell him.
“I don’t want to sit at the kids’ table,” Ryan whines. For a fourteen-year-old, Eddie thinks Ryan gripes more than his literal baby sister.
Natalie looks at the adult table, then at the kids’ table. There are nine chairs seated at each and she’s clearly trying to figure out how two can be added to the larger table.
“Me neither,” she says while mentally calculating. 
Lucas steps into the room behind the teens and Eddie sees a great opportunity. 
“Okay, you guys can sit with us,” he tells them. “As long as you contribute to the conversation.”
“Really?” Natalie asks, instantly perking up. It amazes Eddie how quickly she goes from looking like Wednesday Addams to Pippi Longstocking.
“Yeah,” Eddie says. He looks over at his former Hellfire Club member and nods at him. “By the way Lucas, did you see that the DOW is down three points today?”
Lucas doesn’t miss a beat.
“Huh,” he muses. “You know, I was just talking to my broker about that over a rousing game of golf. He suggested I take another look at my portfolio.”
“Ugh fine, we’ll sit at the kids’ table,” Ryan groans.
The two of them slink off to the other side of the room as Eddie and Lucas share a quiet laugh.
“Don’t even know if I got all the terms right,” Lucas admits.
Eddie, Ryan, Nancy, and Max all help you take the food out to the table—well, tables. Eliza watches it all as Wayne settles her in her highchair at the kids’ table. She’s practically salivating as her chocolate eyes move from dish to dish. Even Mia taking the seat between her and Luke doesn’t take her attention from her dinner. 
Annie settles Molly into her own highchair—Eliza’s old one that she outgrew. When Eddie had gotten it out of the garage both of you got a little misty-eyed that your daughter is getting so big.
The turkey is placed at the head of the table, right in front of Eddie’s seat. He picks up the large carving knife and Luke over-dramatically gasps from his place at the kids’ table. You finish scooping some mashed potatoes onto Eliza’s plate and playfully tug on one of Luke’s curls.
Eddie glances up from time to time, watching as you make sure each kid has a little bit of everything on the plate in front of them. 
“You’re gonna lose a finger, boy,” Wayne warns. The older man smiles though, at the way his nephew looks at his wife. 
Eddie sets the knife down and discreetly pops the wishbone out of the bird. If he doesn’t set it aside now all the kids will be arguing over it and Eddie isn’t sure there’s enough wine in the house to deal with that. This way, Eddie can show the kids the carved-up turkey and point to where the wishbone “should be” and shrug, telling them they’re out of luck. He looks forward to using it with you after the kids go to bed. 
You giggle as Molly reaches up and puts a dab of cranberry sauce on your nose. Eddie grins as he watches you. He had thought that seeing you with a baby wouldn’t hit him in quite the same way after Eliza was born, but it hasn’t quelled the yearning. 
Taking advantage of the kids grabbing the rolls in a frenzy, he slips the wishbone into his pocket. He already knows what his wish will be.
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