#Mario loses his moustache

[starleska]

god, i love it when Mr Puzzles gets extra threatening and creepy 🙈💖

[bear-boi-5]

Loud violent head bashing against table

THEY'RE SO CLOSE PLEASEEEEEE

WAHHHHHHHH

I'm going insane

I NEED THEM RAGGGHHH

[justasecretflower]

Sdv; Sam headcanons!

General, friends, pre-relationship, established relationship.

General

💛he has a finger board. Those lil skateboards you do tricks with your fingers. He was obsessed with them when he was younger and made a lil park for it out of cardboard (this came to me from my dad who made his own mini skateboard when he was a kid so thx for the idea dad)

💛Never cleans his room cuz he says everything is where it’s supposed to be.

💛terrible cook. He’s the worst at measurements and often forgets he’s cooking so he nearly burns the house down every time.

💛he loves tie-dye! He likes making his own shirts, hoodies, tank tops, stuff like that and he can make a pretty cool design.

💛owned a gameboy, now he has a switch and often plays Mario kart.

💛tried doing a stick and poke tattoo. Now he has a wonky smiley face on one of his fingers.

Friends

💛will always be the friend to yap your ear off but is always so interested in your life and your stories, tell him about the day you lost your shoes and couldn’t do anything on the farm! Anything! He’ll listen, and you can talk to him for hours if you��re also a fellow yapper.

💛invites himself over sometimes. You’ll be working on your farm then look over to see him hanging from a tree branch upside down enthusiastically smiling

💛friendship bracelets galore! Handmade ones, ones he buys, all of them. He got you two spider man themed ones, ones with your initials, you have a lot of friendship bracelets, and even matching guitar pick necklaces. (He bought them and insisted you wore them.)

💛never the first to fall asleep at a sleepover. If you fall asleep first,which you will, he’ll draw a moustache, stars, hearts, and smiley faces on your face with sharpie:).

💛very loyal, sticks up for you and defends your name when you’re not around.

💛if you play an instrument, he’d love you to be in his band !

💛very close with your mother..when she comes to visit suddenly Sam is visiting too! He’s like nendou with saikis mom..

Crushing

💛doesn’t know how to act around you anymore. Stutters, flushes, gets all sweaty, zones out staring at your pretty face

💛he gets way more touchy. Not weirdly! He doesn’t ever wanna make you u comfortable, but there’s a lot more fleeting touches, and him keeping a spare jacket of his to give to you, or insists on holding your hand going through crowds and hugging you a lot more.

💛he stares at you a lot. Like I stated before. He’ll be looking at you talk like a puppy. Big eyes glimmering with interest and love, lips slightly parted, just totally infatuated. When you look over at him and say his name he snaps out of it.

💛gifts you stuff out of nowhere. He likes to make handmade gifts even though it takes him a long time bc he can’t sit down.

💛gifts include bracelets, pipe cleaner stick figures of you and him, pipe cleaner flowers, Lego flowers, and beaded hair accessories.

💛oblivious. You could scream at him that you love him and he’ll be like “In a homie way?” So if you’re not bold this crushing stage will last a long time before he finally works up the courage to ask you out, it’s not like he’s afraid of showing you his feelings, or rejection, he’s afraid of losing a friend if you reject him.

Relationship

💛likes carrying you. Bridal style, on his shoulders, on his back. He loves being close to you.

💛built in best friend-boyfriend combo. He never changed after dating you. He was still your overly enthusiastic and energetic best friend, but now he just had a romantic label to him.

💛needy, whiny. Will cry if he’s not touching you 24/7. Always has a hand on your hip, your shoulder, holding hands, kissing your cheek, will sneak away during festivals just to push you up against a wall and kiss you passionately. He just loves you sm <3

💛I saw a tiktok of this girl that had her bf playing fetch with a hair tie in the pool. That’s him, and he’ll enjoy it.

💛writes songs for you. Will play you music if you cry.

💛makes you laugh if you’re crying as well, and quite frankly if you’re crying or not he’ll always fight to get a laugh out of you. The type to put dancing fruit on the tv and copy the dance moves.

💛”sunshine” “baby” “lovey”

💛hold his face, he’s begging. He’ll melt into you and kiss your palms, and finger tips.

💛he likes to lay on/ between your thighs a lot.

💛got your initial on the back of his gages.

💛yours + his initials on his shoes.’

💛if he sees you cooking with his mom theres immediately a wedding set up

💛he sees you playing with Vince? Birth control is in the trash (just joking..)

💛like previously mentioned he’s super close with your mom, will ask for your baby pics and aww and ooo them a bunch, takes a picture of them and has a picture of baby you somewhere.

💛10/10 bf. WE LOVE SAM!!

Credits/// divider creds- enchanthings-a

Tags

[vbnhuet]

Before I start another writing project I couldn’t finish, I’m just gonna leave my idea so my head won’t explode. Weird Bowuigi AU idea time.

So we’ve seen Bowser being the “sugar daddy” in the relationship all the time, basically spoiling Luigi and give him all the fanciest rooms, clothes, food because he’s king and all that. But I feel like a role reversal would be entertaining to explore.

So I’m imagining like a regent/aristocrat/business??? AU. Bowser is born blue-blooded and rich but have no self restrain on spending money, while Mario started off as a commoner, but through hard work and being generally lucky in the real estate scheme got himself to the same social status as the other nobles. The two got into a years long rivalry trying to court the same lady (Peach), and bowser spent all his inherited money on crazy expenses and bad business decisions just to try and woo her.

At the end, Bowser obviously loses. Losing his lady and in massive debt, still he begrudgingly show up at Mario’s engagement party to save face and not look like a sore loser. He mingled with the guests, getting a bit tipsy, and then when he tried to pat on Mario’s back to congratulate him, a taller, thinner version of Mario with a different moustache to look back at him. The other guy told bowser that he’s Luigi, Mario’s twin brother, and Bowser just blinked in confusion. He was Mario’s rival for years, and now he just know that mario got a twin brother??? Where was this guy at the social meet ups?

At first bowser thought Luigi was just some nobody who leech off of Mario’s success, but Luigi just smiled and told him that “oh no, I’m the chairman of the business, actually”. bowser laughed it off because he thought luigi was joking

But Bowser went home and search up Luigi’s profile and… holy shit. Three mansions. Hotels and casinos. Multiple brand deals. And he owns like most of the estates in their region. No wonder why bowser was losing to Mario. He underestimated those two because they were born commoner, but turns out behind the scene, they were owning probably triple the amount bowser ever owned in his life. But while mario was having his face plastering all over the place, Luigi, the one who make all the important decisions in the family was trying to keep a low profile, cooping up in his personal mega-mansion on a private property somewhere because he was too shy and awkward.

So cue Bower, trying his hands at courting this insanely rich but socially awkward man, basically trying to leech off of his wealth and get that revenge on Mario. Luigi pretty much dwarfed bowser in everything when it comes to wealth (I could see Luigi coming over to bowser’s place and just turning his nose up and start commenting on how bowser is terrible at architectural design and stuff like that), so bowser have to use his “charisma”. Showing up on Luigi’s property unwanted with a grand piano, dumping love letters in front of his door, offering Luigi rides on his crumpling vintage cabriolet. Luigi promised Mario that he wouldn’t spit out a single coin for bowser… but somehow this is working.

[alelathedragon]

Mr.Puzzles Ramble part 4009488383839393848

I added links to my other rambles if yo interested but all in all.....

Chat

GET EM

[1]

[2]

[3]

I wanna talk about 2 episodes in particular for this ramble:

Mario loses his moustache & Mr.Puzzles lowest point

It is my humble opinion that this dude still does NOT know what the fuck a MEME is- cus look at his actions in each episode. In the first one he studies Mario intensely because this is the one who has been ruining his plans the most with his bullshit and FUNNY.

Mr.Puzzles is after the power of being funny but still finds memes disgusting/horrible, when he makes Pedro his intensions are to film the creature hoping to steal SMG4's fame in a SMG3 LIKE manor, instead of stealing the videos hes just stealing assets of an actor. Yes; he does say MEME OFF but im convinced this man has no fucking clue what he's talking about and thats made more apparent in the next episode where he's going through content creator depression.

When the children turn on their Brainrot Skibbity Toilet he rightfully finds it to be the most insulting thing to ever grace his face and wants it gone, but then he realizes; hey wait a minute ... If I do this, I can traffic people to follow me, make money, make the content I love and BAM!! I'll be popular!!!

However.... He gets in his own way, when the "fame" of a billion children liking his youtube channel hits, it gets to his head immediately and he gets distracted from what he really wanted to do! He doesn't wanna make this shit, he wants to make his art!!! He doesn't understand WTF he's made other than an abomination

Like this man is genuinely confused as to why people have not gone from his shitty youtube channel over to his REAL content on the TV bc he forgot the part where he's supposed to stop the youtube and make stuff he likes again. Too 1 track minded

Even to the SMG4 crew its not funny bc it is NOT a meme! Mr.Puzzles doesn't know how to do that.

He came into the convention wanting to talk about his interests, inspirations, how he wrote his screen plays... Alas the crowd was children who didn't give a flying fuck about his craft and this pissed him off. Like: WHAT DO U MEAN U DIDNT LOOK AT MY TV SHOWS AND ONLY WATCH THIS STUFF IM NOT PROUD OF!?!?

& funnily enough

That leads into another point where this guy gives up so fast on things. Like in the cannon he SAYS he's given up on TV but that's a lie, he's going to keep doing entertainment.

What I mean by him giving up easily is:

He is a pathetic little meow meow folks. Hes one of those villains that THRIVES off a evil plan but when he's caught. He puts up his hands and runs, or throws things at his enemies.

Like in WOTF, in the song all boyo does: is throw shit because he DOES NOT know how to defend himself bro lololol. He has the power of his imagination but this isnt his head or his rules so he cant just- imagine a kung fu master as himself and fight back: his natural defences are to

Run/ Hide/ Throw things/ Bat things away/ Retract/ Panic

So when a plan fails. That plan is practically gone until he can think of a new way to use it

Like i doubt we're going to see Mario losing his moustache for a long time, i think we're going to see it again!!! But not soon. Mr.Puzzles needs time to cook that thought in the back of his mind of if it's even worth trying again or not.

He coulda given up on that thought all together but we wont know til we see!!

And he gave up on the youtube too! Because he was disappointed in himself and bro really just; could not bear to use that money anymore. He looked at that cash and could only relate it to his cringe youtube channel that he didnt want to associate with anymore. The original plan to use the money to make the content he wants: ⚰️

"I can't just use the money to make the content i want now! Im ruined! They just see me as a kids play toy now and this cash is NOTHING!!"

He forgot the plan, thus it got ruined by his own hand, and sense it was no longer completable in the way he originally intended it to go- it was impossible to complete.

He's so silly. I love him so much

[sonicjustbecause]

Sonic and Shadow: somewhat, they're twins.

Even before Shadow was a concept, Sonic's past was the most mysterious one. We knew about tails past, Amy past and Knuckles past. But about Sonic we only knew his personality, that he fought Eggman and that liked to run.

One of first attempt to give Sonic a past was in Fleetway comics...

Human father and scientist... bigh moustache, somewhat slim... Gerard vibes. Sonic himself, like Shadow is somewhat enginered. And like Shadow Sonic is going to lose his father.

Not far different, even more similar to Shadow past. Longclaw is Sonic's adoptive howl mother and a female figure. And like Maria she is the supporting figure to the little one. Both Maria and Longclaw sacrificed theirselves to save their adoptive brother/son. Both Sonic and Shadow saw their loved ones getting hurt but they didn't see them actually die, they just figured out.

Now, I don't know if this is a rumor of if this was a scrapped idea, but I've read a theory about that originally SA2 would have explored Shadow AND Sonic past, hinting they were actual brothers and not just two identical hedgehogs. Thinking about this, Shadow's original personality had some traits that are also part of Sonic's: exicted by speed, playful and mischievous and even uses some Sonic's catchprhases (no problem, piece of cake with his iconic quiet voice), though they were toned down by his way calmer nature.

Anyway, in Sonic movie Shadow's past will be the one we know and Sonic in the movie had a very similar past. It would be interesting to see how this will work.

Is like they truly wanted Sonic anc Shadow being twins (like Mario and Luigi) but they didn't wanted to mess to much with the lore and wanted to avoid to retcon. Also because here and there they insist on underline Sonic and Shadow likeness, showing characters around them confused, switching their names and so on...

[sevenpersona]

Jin x gn reader imagine

Warnings: none bit cheeky at the end tho

Jin and you are sitting down each playing on your Nintendo Switch when suddenly you have the bright idea to challenge him to Mario Kart

Jin obviously is Princess Peach and while you have a few favourites you eventually pick Yoshi

It starts off as light-hearted with oh look I'm gonna win and oops sorry I red shelled you but the longer you race the more competitive you both get

Swears and curses start being thrown around when you overtake one another or you deliberately start throwing shells at each other

Finally on the last race for the cup, you decide to make a wager with Jin... loser cooks dinner and has to dress up as a Mario kart character and post it on ig

It's always fun gaming with Jin, even if you have to hold your amusement in at his frustration but teasing him as you banana peel him just as he is about to overtake you, makes you cackle as you cross the finish line at 1st place

Taunting him after is the best part bc while you know he is a bit sulky after losing, he takes great joy in shutting you up

"Oof runner up 3rd time in a row has to-mmfp" Jin cuts you off with a quick kiss

When you go to kiss him this time he just shoots you a mischievous grin "sorry baby, I have to cook dinner remember?"

The next morning you see Jin dressed as Mario (moustache and all) taking his punishment with grace.

After Jin is finished he gives you an odd look, "think we can get a princess peach outfit for you?"

You laugh and respond "this isn't my punishment."

You end up in the princess peach costume for scandalous reasons

[pepperycar]

Inspired by @itsavee4117 and @silenzahra “Cold place, warm hearts” part 4 TW freezing, crying, mentions of death.

Mario tried to run back to where he dropped Luigi, but the snowy fields looked the same in every direction. Freaking out, Mario looked for the Fire Bros. but they were nowhere in sight. Mario had lost Luigi. He clutched his hand to his racing heart as he ran towards the pine forest and stopped in a random spot of snow, just having to guess. He desperately dug his hands through the ice and snow. Only halfway through did he notice his gloves where covered in frost, his wrists slightly showing and completely blue. He didn’t care, he HAD to find Luigi. Mario felt warm, acid-like tears fall down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them, this wasn’t the warmth he had wanted. He wanted Luigi, to hug him, feel his warmth, cuddle him and never go, not after nearly losing him to the lava last time. This time it was the opposite. Luigi was going to die to the cold and by his own brothers stupidity. “WHAT WAS I THINKING?!” He yelled angrily. His voice barely making an echo across the icy fields. ‘Shrinking him probably made him freeze even quicker now with less body mass’ Mario thought ‘I need to find him NOW! Before he- before it’s to late! Otherwise he might- he could already be- no...’ he couldn’t finish that sentence. Mario dug frantically through the snow, his body starting to shake rapidly. He had to find Luigi soon before he froze himself. Then who’d warm Luigi up? Mario took a deep shaky breath and closed his eyes, only hearing the wind and the pounding of his own heart, Mario tried to focus. He hoped that their natural “twin sense” would help guide him. Trying to ignore his hurting heart and hyperventilating. He carefully lifted and moved his head like an owl sensing prey. He delicately pushed his hands through the snowy floor, desperate but slowly, feeling for anything out of place, anything soft but firm, squishy and hopefully warm. Mario jolted when he felt something move under his hand. He immediately grabbed it as gently as he could through panic. He pulled it up and- disappointment and sorrow covered his face. He was holding a Blue Biddybud by the leg. It looked at him angrily. “Uh wrong guy...” Mario muttered, putting it down. The Biddybud angrily burrowed its way back underground. Mario was lost in thought for a second ‘Biddybuds aren’t omnivorous right?’ He shook his head trying to bring comfort to himself ‘no no... they’re not... right?’ Panic set back in as he realised he was wasting precious time. He dug around until he found something else, this one actually nuzzled into him. ‘Luigi!’ Mario thought excitedly, Luigi was nuzzling into Mario’s hand trying to get warm. It had to be! Mario scooped it up and tears started appearing in his eyes. It was a small, white, star bunny with blue tipped ears. Mario started crying and set it down “s-sorry I-I was looking for someone else!” He cried. The Star Bunny scooted away, before a bright blue glow surrounded it. With a small twirl it puffed into a cloud of ice before reappearing revealing- “Lumalee?!” Mario cried confused. “Heheheheha! Frozen moustache has come to cry with me!” Lumalee exclaimed happily. “What’re you doing here?” Mario asked. Lumalee laughed maniacally “sitting in the cold, waiting for deaths cold comforting embrace!” He smiled. Mario shook his head, he’d never understand this creature. He was VERY confused when Luigi introduced him. A little star child, loving and asking for death. At the time Mario hadn’t questioned this, his main priority was checking Luigi over when they got home after the battle. ‘Oh mio dio! Luigi!’ Mario thought “Lumalee! Luigi’s in trouble, I need help! He-He... I gave him a mini mushroom and now he’s lost in the snow somewhere!” Lumalee just stared for a moment before erupting with maniacal laughter “HAHAHAHAHAHA he’s wanting to join me in freezing to DEATH!” He laughed, spitting the last word. “Lumalee!” Mario cried, now full on sobbing. “PLEASE! If Luigi dies because of me, I’ll never forgive myself!” He cried “please... help...” he sobbed clasping his hands together, getting on his knees, now desperate. “Please...” -to be continued.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Imagine

Actually liking your Slasher partner; Them getting along! And having fun with him! Cuz like, I've noticed that a lotta Slasher fanfics include Y/n lusting over Jason and Thomas, or Y/N being annoyed by Michael, or just plain acting like they hate Freddy.

And thats all great, don't get me wrong- but just consider:

Reader making bets with Thomas over how long its gonna take Hoyt to blow his top at a victim, and laughing when he usually wins because he knows his family so well. Reader playing footsies with Thomas under the dinner table until he just puts his foot ontop of theirs- winning instantly cuz they cant move anymore. Reader taking Thomas for walks outside the house in the bright sunshine and the summer breeze, and just chatting away to him. Reader valuing Thomas' opinion on things.

Reader and Freddy playing games where whoever loses their composure first loses, and he knows they're a sucker for his bad jokes so its not long before they're losing their shit. Reader being all-too-happy to play along with Freddy's bits. Reader and Freddy sharing looks when someone else is being stupid. Reader and Freddy having inside jokes!

Reader and Candyman telling eachother about their days and its honestly one of the best parts of both their days. Reader flashing Candyman such warm and bright smiles when they see him that his long-dead heart warms every time. Reader asking for Candymans advice when they want help. Reader telling others they have the best partner- he's the bees knees!

Reader wanting Bo to teach them car stuff just to spend time with him, and loving it even more when they impress him. Reader drawing pictures of Bo, showing him, then adding something stupid like a big ass mario moustache or a monocle just so he'll chase them. Reader calling Bo pet names.

Reader listening intently when Otis goes off on a tangent, genuinmy wanting to understand his point of view. Reader quipping brightly to people who call him ugly that they think he's handsome! ^^ Reader copying Otis's frown until he rolls his eyes and walks off to hide a grin.

Like- just- readers who'll point at their Slasher and go 'Thats my guy. Isn't he cool?? Murderous tendencies not included'.

[lizadale]

Bruh I played the american version and I always thought the UK version had the better luigi roast. The stache thing felt kinda impersonal (cuz I mean anyone can make fun of how you look for basically any reason) but the pushover thing would be a thing specific to luigi, that he might be more mad about because dimentio really did do that right to his face right in front of his bro. The grass is greener on the other side I guess lol

“better luigi roast” i’m losing it that this is a topic for debate and how inevitably we judge localizations of the game

i think it depends on how you view Luigi? when i was a kid my mom made the comment of “you can tell that’s Luigi, because Mario’s moustache is messier” and at the time it blew my mind to compare them based on the way they groom themselves - and since then I’ve inherited the idea that, yes, Luigi spends significantly more time on his ‘stache than Mario does. He’s proud of that thing. maybe Dimentio noticed how long Mr L took waxing it every day and decided that was the best way to poke him. 

HOWEVER you could also argue that Dimentio saw how UPSET Mr L was at getting defeated TWICE and decided to poke that in the “pushover” variation. Maybe the ‘stache result would be less insulting when you account for the fact that Luigi might be too distracted by the fact that Dimentio has actually noticed him at all - OR... you get the realization that Dimentio has noticed Luigi only to insult what he sees, and that’s what pisses him off the most

tl;dr: shrug emoji

[melaninmarvelficrecs]

Chris Evans Fic Recs

Angst 😭

Fluff 🥰

Smut 😈

Series 📚

Original character 👸🏽

Au meme 🎀

Social media edit 📱

Moodboard 💝

Never Say That Again by @smilexcaptainx

🥰Long Hard Week by @thegetawaywriter

Making Out by @tropicalcap

Adorable by @your-highnessmarvel

🥰Beardless by @thegetawaywriter

Saturday Cuddles by @cevansgirl

😈Daddy Chris by @nsfwsebbie

😈Bearded Chris by @honeychicanawrites

😈Payback by @plussizeappreciationfics

🥰Chris Sweater by @soft-angel-tears

😈🥰Beard of Grays by @et-lesailes

🎀Announcing He’s Having a Baby Girl by @celebsaumeme

🥰😭I Think I’ll Never Be Good Enough About by @hotcelebimagines

Pregnant With Chris First Child by @getbywithalittlehel96

Threesome with Henry by @honeychicanawrites

Crowded by @my-emotional-self

😈Press Tour Distractions by @my-emotional-self

😈Losing a Superbowl Bet by @canyoumoveurseatup-no

😈Windows by @avenging-fandoms

Dating Chris Evans By @writing-imagines’

😈Daddy Dom by @canyoumoveurseatup-no

🥰Wash Day by @lady-olive-oil

😈A Small Accident by @plussizeappreciation

Books and Baths by @herondaleholly31

😈Masturbate by @canyoumoveurseatup-no

The Perfect Man by @petey-verse

🥰😭😈Really Chris by @my-emotional-self

😈Welcome Home by @my-emotional-self

😭😈Give It Back  by @my-emotional-self

😈Quiet on the Set by @i-dont-do-rpfs

😈Baby Girl by @bby-buckyfics

😈Daddy Evans by @writingsblock

😈Our Little Secret by @canyoumoveurseatup-no

This isn’t America’s Ass. It’s My Ass by @avenging-fandoms

Short by @honeychicanawrites

🥰My Parents are Coming by @giftofdreams

😈Don’t Tease Me by @whisky-cokenfanfic

Noted by @pastelastronomy24

Birthday Surprise by @captainscanadian

Our Future by @mrsoutoftime

📱Special Announcement by @wocreadersociaimagines

😈Make Me a Daddy 2 by @just-another-fangirl-94

🥰😭Book Smart by @angel-cap

Happy Little Family by @crue-sixx

Family Man by @trashinaglass

Drunk Home Word’s Unspoken Forever by @blackwomanwriter

Any Means Necessary by @cavillunraveled

Spiders by @angel-cap

😈🥰Captain America vs Superman 2 I Love You Two by @royallyprincesslilly

Anniversary by @theycallmebecca

The Treehouse by @theycallmebecca

Oh Hell No by @theycallmebecca

Hot and Cold by @theycallmebecca

Fred by @theycallmebecca

🥰Hot Summer Days by @frencchfries

Mama’s Boy by @hlkwrites

🥰Thirst Tweets by @et-lesailes

The Post Office by @hlkwrites

📚Daddy Hair Care 1 2 3 4.1 4.2 5 by @chrisevansbabymama

🥰A Bigger Heart by @cevansgirl

😈Wetter is Better by @wintersoldier1989

I Want A Pet by @justkending

🥰Attention Seeking by @chrisevansbabymama

📚👸🏽😈😭Rumor Has It 2 3 4 5 6 by @royallyprincesslilly

🥰I Can Get Caught Up by @mangos4u

😈Untitled by @hisxblackxqueen

😈Just Relax by @hisxblackxqueen

Meeting Chris at a Marvel Event by @plussizeappreciationfics

😈🥰Just the Tip by @royallyprincesslilly

Caught in A Moment by @halsteadbarnes

👸🏽My First, My Always by @lady-olive-oil

Christmas Spirit by @thinkxlovexloud

Four Legged Protector by @stallingdemons

Jealous by @thinkxlovexloud

😈🥰Knock-Knock,Knock,Knock Knock by @royallyprincesslilly

Meet the Parents:Christmas Edition by @royallyprincesslilly

God I Can't Pay Attention to Anything but You by @bloggingfromherbed

Paternal Instincts by @dc41896

Tease by @blackwomanwriter

Morning by @chrisevansbabymama

What Happens Now by @whiskey-cokenfanfic

😈Strip Mario Kart by @my-emotional-self

😈🥰His Princess by @my-emotional-self

😈On the Phone  by @fanfictionmulti-verse

Interview by @fanfictionmulti-verse

📱Eloped by @mcusocialimagines

Birthday Surprise by @thinkxlovexloud

Too Tired by @captainchrisfics

Scratch by @thinkxlovexloud

😭🥰Dirty Little Secret by @blackmissfrizzle

😈Riding Chris' Face by @thotgomery

The Warmth of Summer by @lunarevans

😈Masturbate by @heavenbarnes

📱Catfished by @mcusocialimagines

Headshot by @thinkxlovexloud

Enemies to Lovers by @writingsofaninvisiblegirl

😈So High by @hail-meezus

In A White Dress by @theycallmebecca

Chris Vs. His Mini Me  by @theycallmebecca

Confessions of a Fangirl by @theycallmebecca

Gifts and Surprises by @theycallmebecca

😈A Helping Hand by @theycallmebecca

By the Fire by @theycallmebecca

Chris Celebrity Crush by @justimagine

Dip the Tip by @sfdce

B.S.C. A Winter Getaway by @sfdce

🎀A Little Crush by @aucelebrity

🎀Newborn by @aucelebrity

🎀Announcing Your Pregnancy by @aucelebrity

🎀Talking About Your Meeting by @aucelebrity

🎀Has A Crush On You by @aucelebrity

🎀Being Romantic with You by @aucelebrity

I Can’t Get Married by @ sgtevanstan

Diamonds by @giftofdreams

Flirting by @brooklnboy

Fan Girl Moment by @plussizeappreciationfics

😈Guiding His Submissive Babygirl by @honeychicana

🥰Daughter by @stripper-patrick

🎀Oscars by @aucelebrity

📱Secret by @mcusocialimagines

Better Safe than Sorry  2by @thefluff-ficdemon

Mammoth by @whisky-cokenfanfic

🎀Happy with You by @celebrity-meme

Gender Reveal Party by @plussizeappreciationfics

Cute Baby Talk by @plussizeappreciationfics

Sexy Enough by @plussizeappreciationfics

Facade by @plussizeappreciationfics

Famous by @plussizeappreciationfics

🥰Daughter to Be by @thegetawaywriter

Valentines Day by @thegetawaywriter

🥰😈Welcome Back Daddy by @mangos4u

🎀Gap Year by @ celebrityyimaginees

🎀Moustache by @ celebrityyimaginees

Jokes by @ celebrityyimaginees

We Need to Talk by @wxntersoldiers

Morning by @chrisevansbabymama

😈🥰Pushing Buttons by @my-emotional-self

😈Would You Rather by @chriseevansfanfic

😈Sounds Like a Plan by @kirstie-evans

😈Still Got It  by @captainsteveevans

📚Remember When? 2 3 4 5 by @captainsteveevans

🥰The Adjective Game by @deep-in-my-thoughts13

Knives Out Thighs Out by @blackmissfrizzle

🥰😭Make It Up by @stripper-patrick

🥰😭😈Casual by @royallyprincesslily

😈Deeper by @honeychicana

😈Away From You by @stripper-patrick

😈Playground by @nsfwsebbie

😭😈Unprofessional 2 3 by @royallyprincesslilly

😈I Got a Story to Tell by @stripper-patrick

Red Carpet Jitters by @deanssweetcherrypie

[sa-gt-tarrius]

G/T Prompts, part 1

Writing prompts were taken from this post by @hiddendreamerwriting.

***

“I want a pet.”

Toadsworth sighed deeply, grasping the bridge of his nose. “Princess…”

“I want a pet,” Peach repeated firmly. “If I can’t leave the castle, I’d like some company. Anything will do. I’ll even take a fish.”

“Princess, we have other matters that need your attention.” The Toad gestured to Peach’s desk, which was littered with a variety of important-looking documents. “You have treaties to draft, and you haven’t even requested combat support from Sarasaland yet. You cannot afford to be distracted by an animal.”

Peach blinked, then scoffed. “I won’t be distracted.” Her expression softened, and something behind her eyes cracked with sorrow. “Please, Toadsworth. I’m losing my mind, doing all this by myself. I need someone, something. Anything. Please.”

For a minute, Toadsworth’s face was unreadable. He seemed to contemplate the request with quiet intensity. Then, finally, he spoke, his voice growing quiet. “I’m sorry, Princess,” he apologized. “I will not relent on this. We have to stay focused on the issues at hand.”

Peach looked away. “I understand.” But she really didn’t. She didn’t understand it at all. Toadsworth left without another word, throwing her a sad glance as the door clicked shut behind him.

Peach wanted to scream. She wanted to cry and punch something and run away and never come back home. But she had duties to attend to. So she simply sat on her bed, wiping away a stream of tears. She could manage. She could do this. She just wished she had someone to keep her from being so lonely.

That was when an unfamiliar voice spoke up, as if sent by the stars themselves. “Um… mi scusi…”

Peach looked up at her door. It was still closed. She turned her head to face the balcony. It was empty. She scanned the room. No one was in it but her.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but…”

“Who’s there?” Peach asked, still glancing around the room. Was there a ghost in the castle? Would she have to call an exterminator?

The voice paused for a moment before replying. “I’m down here.”

Peach looked down towards the direction of the voice. She blinked once, twice, thrice, and bit back the urge to holler in surprise.

The voice belonged to a man, perhaps around Peach’s age. He wore jean overalls and a worn cap and heavy-duty work boots that clomped quietly as he walked. A moustache curled around his nose, comically contrasting his boyish face. The man craned his neck to stare up at Peach from the floor by her night table.

Peach swallowed. “You’re… a tiny person.”

It was true. This man, who had mysteriously appeared in her bedroom, was no more than five inches tall. At Peach’s words, he sobered a bit, looking away from her.

“Yeah,” the man shrugged, but Peach had to strain her eyes to notice he had moved at all. “You’re Princess, right? I’m Mario.”

“...Oh.” It seemed Peach forgot her manners. She cleared her throat to cover her embarrassment. “Ah, yes. It’s nice to meet you, Mario.”

Mario smiled awkwardly, scuffing his foot on the carpet. “Sorry for intruding, Princess... but I heard you and that guy arguing.”

Of course he did. Peach sniffled a bit, wiping her face clean. “It’s fine.”

“It doesn’t sound fine. Are you okay?”

“I’m…” Peach paused. Was she okay? Not really. But was she going to pass out and faint from the pressure of the world? Probably not. She was just… not that great. “I’ll be alright,” she settled on saying. “I’m just a bit stressed is all.”

“You sound like you deal with a lot of stressful stuff,” Mario commented.

Well, that was one way to put it. “I suppose I do,” Peach giggled. “Mario, would you… Would you keep me company for a while? Have some tea and chat for a bit?”

Mario smiled brightly, lighting up the room. “Sí, I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

[astagfirullah-house]

Couple by Accident

Suga had just dyed his hair. Again. A light blue, almost white. He was known for dyeing his hair excessively. He had no idea why he did except that he just liked to do it. It was that simple yet people wanted to make it complicated for some reason. 

He was on his way to his cozy room where he would hole up for the weekend, sleeping and working on his music. He didn't know why people would want to leave their rooms for so long, hanging out and socializing mindlessly, gossiping and what not. He would rather do stuff that mattered. 

Occasionally he would hang out with his friends, catch up and chat, but not often enough, and certainly not to mindlessly gossip. He preferred to talk about music, about stuff that mattered.

He was almost home when he got a message from a friend. A minute later he received a call from the same person. "No" Suga greeted. "I'm not coming". 

"But hyungnim. Please!" the younger friend whined. "I know you don't like to go out. But please this one time. I haven't seen you in so long. I want to catch up and maybe we can talk later about some stuff? I'm having a hard time hyungnim".

"Alright" Suga sighed. It would seem that he would do it for his friend. But this created a challenge for him. He would have to dress up. He was the least likeliest person to be excited about it, but he couldn't go without the costume; the younger would whine all night and it would get on his nerves. 

He switched on his phone and scrolled through bare minimum Halloween ideas, stopping at an extremely simple one. Something that could be done, especially with his newly dyed hair. He smiled as he called his stylist. He wanted to borrow a lab coat they used for one of their music video shoots. An hour later he rummaged through his closet, finding brown pants which definitely wasn't his - probably one of the members' - and pulled it out along with a light blue T-shirt. 

He quickly got dressed, deciding to air dry his hair to get the messy hair look that Rick perpetually had. He grabbed his keys and wallet and left the apartment, driving to the Bighit office. 

"Thank you for meeting me on your day off noona", Suga politely said to the stylist as she tried to find the lab coat. She asked him about his costume and when Suga mentioned Rick, she clucked her tongue.

"You need to put gel in your hair. Make it stand up". She led him to a chair and grabbed a hair gel from the shelf, using it to style his hair in a similar way to that of Einstein's. She then handed him the lab coat, reminding him to not damage it and left the building after locking up the dressing room. 

The house was decorated extravagantly. Pumpkins, lights, lanterns every and any Halloween associated prop was in sight. He walked up to the front door, passing a few drunk people yelling 

"Hey Rick, where's your Morty" to him. 

Before he could knock the door opened to reveal his friend. "You made it! And in a costume! I'm impressed. Come in". Suga entered the house and was dragged towards the kitchen where he was handed cheap beer. 

"This many people...can't have expensive beer you know" His friend muttered as he kept chatting about his amateur career, asking advice and listening attentively. This is why Suga loved his friend; he listened with so much passion, Suga could tell he was serious about his music. After an hour of chatting, the friend excused himself while Suga walked towards the main hall.

Plenty of people were dancing in the center, carefree and Suga had to move through quite a resistance to get to the back lawn. 

"Hey you guys are so cute!! Your costumes match so well!". Suga turned around to see a girl smiling up at him.

"Uh thanks" he said while wondering what on Earth the girl was talking about. 

"Yo Rick! Your Morty is the cutest! Did you pick the best one out of all the alternative universes?" A guy winked at him as he passed by. 

"You two look like a perfect couple!! Every Rick needs his Morty am I right or am I right?" a girl yelled smiled at him, clearly drunk.

Suga was so confused. He came here alone, why were people being so weird, he wondered. 

A minute later he shrugged and went out to the back lawn. He saw a slight figure already there standing with her back to him, a backpack slung over like a school kid. The backpack had the tag "Morty" on it, which is when Suga realized what all the comments were about. 

"I'm too busy! I have exams next week and I haven't even opened up my books yet. I'm not going. Its final" Hira was extremely frustrated. 

She wanted to enjoy her time but because of being a med student, it was extremely difficult for her. She was always busy with studying. She sighed as she opened her book and began studying.

An hour later she opened her phone to see 10 missed calls from her friend. "What" she answered. "WHAT?!" Hira was going to murder him. She was going to kill her instructor and then spend a happy life in prison. 

"Yes. It's cancelled which means you can come with me to the party. Hurry up! we only have two hours. I'll pick you up" She didn't wait for a response as she ended the call. 

Hira wondered what she could do. It was too last minute, she hated unplanned things and now here she was without a costume. She clicked open her phone and flipped through costume ideas, halting at Rick and Morty. Rick might be difficult given the almost white hair. Morty, on the other hand, was extremely doable. She opened her wardrobe, searching for her blue jeans and the lime green shirt she never wore. At least she could wear them today. 

Standing in front of the mirror she surveyed her costume. It was too...mainstream. People might not even recognize her costume. In a stroke of inspiration, she emptied her brown backpack, grabbed a sticky note, stapler and marker and hastily made up two name tags, one for her bag and one for her shirt - in case people saw her from the back or the front. 

Ten minutes later she was walking towards her friend's car. "Hey"

"Hey. Are you dressed as Morty? Well done you for such a last minute costume" her friend, who herself was in a cute Mario costume with the fake moustache and red cap said. 

They drove to the party with windows down, singing loudly to mainstream pop songs like they did back when Hira had enough free time to have fun. When the reached the party, Hira got extremely excited, bouncing on her feet while her friend tried to calm her down. 

"I haven't been to one in so long!" She yelled as she power walked towards the house. 

"Hey Morty! Did you lose your Rick?" some drunk guy yelled at them. Ignoring the boys, the girls went up to the door and opened to find the party in full swing. 

"I'll get some drinks" her friend said walking away while Hira tried to find a space on the couch. Giving up she leaned against the wall when a girl walked past. 

"Hey...Morty! Of course. This is so cute you know how you two matched so cutely" The girl talked fast. 

"Um who?" Hira was confused. What was she talking about? But the girl had already left. She spotted her friend weaving through the crowd and she grabbed the soda from her hand. 

"Let's dance" She grabbed her hand and pulled her towards an empty corner. After 15 minutes Hira had to take a break and step out in the back lawn. 

"Hey girl! If you're looking for your Rick, he's in the kitchen" a random boy walked passed raising his hand for a high-five. Hira reluctantly raised her own hand, wondering why everyone was talking about a Rick. As she was standing there, a guy walked up to her. 

"Why are you standing here alone Morty. Did your Rick ditch you to go to a super galactic adventure alone. Typical men" he sighed. 

Hira looked over at his costume, realizing he was Sherlock Holmes only after he pulled out a magnifying glass. 

"Hey. What's everyone talking about. Rick who?" Hira was genuinely confused.

 Was there a Rick running around claiming he was together with a Morty? With her? 

"Damn, that Rick messed up. Anyways gotta go my Watson is here". 

Hira turned around to look at him walking back into the house. This is weird she thought as she turned around. 

"So you're the one who keeps associating herself with me" came a voice from behind her.She turned around to see Rick, expecting some wannabe loser trying to win points by declaring himself not alone. Except, he was cute. As in cute af. With light blue, almost white hair that stood up every which way and pale skin, he really did look like Rick.  

"Well" he said.

"Um. So you're the one who is going around claiming you came to a party with someone. That someone is me by the way. And please don't say I'm with you." Suga didn't expect Morty to be a cute girl with a soft voice. But cuteness aside, did she just imply that he was the one going around telling people they were together. 

"Look. Whatever your issue is don't bring me into it". 

"You're the one bringing me into it" Hira said annoyed. They both fell silent for a while until suddenly Suga muttered a whatever and turned around. 

"Wait. Why did you do it? I mean it's not like someone would be unwilling to be your Morty", Hira wondered. He just gave her a look, that look. The famous 'are you still talking' look. It annoyed Hira even more. 

"Hey at least talk back, Rick!" she said, his silence getting on her nerves.

"Well, since you haven't realized what's happened, let me enlighten you. None of us said anything. People assumed because we were wearing couple costumes, we were together. Does that answer satisfy you", he directed his impassive gaze towards Hira who stared at him in shock. His voice was so attractive and she wanted to hear more of it. 

"So, since we are Rick and Morty and also alone, let's stick together. I'm Hira by the way", Hira trailed behind him trying to make him talk. 

An hour later, Hira was still at his side. But by now Suga was talking. He found her annoying, but also cute. Extremely cute. He usually didn't get along with people, but he did with her. She was as good a listener as a talker, and an hour passed by without him getting bored once. 

"Well. It's late. I need to go work on my music" he said as he excused himself and moved towards the door. 

Hira wondered if she would ever see him again. He didn't give her his number and was leaving just like that. 

"Hey" she turned around to see him standing in the doorway. "Treat me to food since you spent so much of my time talking about yourself" Suga said, still in that impassive way of his. 

Hira was realizing what kind of personality this boy had, tough exterior but a softie inside. She didn't take offense at that and instead agreed happily. She had a date! Sort of. A/N: This was inspired by a prompt. Imagine if this were to happen in real life, I would die from the cuteness

[anothersillyfanblog]

How about Chase being a confused boi?

At what? Doesn’t matter, he’s 24/7 confused is ma boy. In fact, I have two ideas. So I shall do one tonight and the other tomorrow! Obviously it’s fluff tonight, angst tomorrow “Who the hell- who are you?” Chase asked, confused. “Okay, calm down. It’s not healzhy, Chase.” Henrik tried to stop his friend from getting up. “You know my name?” He looked around, panicked. His head was- argh, he felt awful. He was lead in a strange room with some machines surrounding the bed he was lead in. “You hurt your head, mein freund, Marvin helped and oh!” Henrik smiled softly. “You haven’t met zhe young Jameson…” “Henrik?!” Chase near-screamed, remembering all at once. Schneep nodded. “How long have I been out?” “Vell you haven’t,” Schneep started. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness, it vas a pretty bad injury you took.” He tutted, shaking his head. “A very silly zhing to do, you are lucky I’m a good doctor!” Chase chuckled awkwardly. “You bet I am. Sorry, bro.” “Nein, it’s good. But ve must talk about a mind doctor, I cannot help vizh everyzhing.” “Yeah, yeah I will. Now who was that you mentioned?” “Ah!” Henrik rushed over to the door and, after opening it, called out into the corridor. “Jameson! Can I borrow you?” He turned back to Chase. “I’ve told zhe ozhers zat you and ze young Jameson should meet before everyone bombards you.” Chase could hear footsteps quickly approaching the door.A guy with more bluish hair than Chase or Henrik entered. He had a hat, a black moustache, a tie, a waistcoat- in general he looked very smart but, as Henrik said, young. JJ waved, looking nervously at Henrik. “Don’t vorry, young one, I vill translate for him- best I can, anyvay.” Good day, old chap! Jamie stated cheerily, trying to communicate slowly. Henrik was the best at BSL out of all of them, so far, but he hadn’t been here for that long and the good doctor had a lot to learn. “Old? Oh you got some cheek there, bud!” Chase teased. Yes, I’m a complete rascal. “You speak old-timey then?” JJ nodded. I suppose so. “Well. If your so ‘old-timey’ I gotta ask- ya ever played Mario Kart?” “Jesus Christ, Chase, is zhat really your best question?” Schneep interrupted. No, I haven’t. I’ve watched Jackie play. “As soon as I’m out of here, we’re playing.” “Really, Brody?” Schneep asked. Henrik, I’d love to play it with him. You’re just bitter because you always lose. “I’m not translating zhat” “You’re not translating what?” Please do, you said you’d translate for me! Henrik sighed, and did as Jamie said. Chase laughed loudly, and Jameson joined in. “Can ve not laugh at me?” Schneep asked, but neither man was listening to him. “Please?!”

[sunlitroom]

Gotham – s5e07 – Ace Chemicals

As I watched it, and some random observations here and there.

Previously on Gotham:

In some of the slashiest moments ever slashed until some of the stuff we’ll see later, Jeremiah helped to build a dark island for Bruce and then told him they would rise together. Jim had sex with Barbara. We then hear him tell Lee there’s so many things he’s done that he wishes he could change.  Oh, fuck you, Jim. Lee says they're here now and need to try to put the pieces back together again. Barbara's pregnant. Jim looks at her like he's only just learned that humans can reproduce. Selina reminds us all that Bruce’s parents were murdered.  Selina stabbed Jeremiah. Oswald is apparently leaving Gotham for reasons that are pretty wildly inconsistent with everything we know about him. Jeremiah loves a family reunion..

As always, long post will be long.  There are likely to be rambling digressions. Gobblepot might appear (although I welcome all shippers and non-shippers alike :)).  There will be naked favouritism and naked not-favouritism.  Broader comments at the end on plotlines and parallels and general direction.

A group of people run frantically down the street, their shirts open and chests bloody – a ‘z’ carved into them. Dramatic music plays.  Behind them, someone – framed in the doorway of a warehouse, someone lights rockets which promptly launch into the sky.  They release green gas, and we see the men start to foam at the mouth, clawing at their throats as they fall to the ground.

Jim is at his radio.  He has a brief conversation with a general – asking them how they let Walker operate right under their noses.  The general doesn’t really answer, but says that she’s evaded capture.  Jim replies that with Walker and Durrance out of the picture, they can step in now to help the city.  The general says that he’s beginning that process immediately.  Jim evinces scepticism – but the general says he has the authority to do it….unless something happens to destabilise the situation. The nightmare is about to end.

(An aside.  I usually give plot details a lot of leeway on Gotham because of the nature of the universe – but come on.  The authorities know that Gotham is basically full of frightened, angry starving people – and was riddled with corruption and crime even before the bridges came down. The idea that they’ll only step in if it’s stable is just stupid. )

Jim is walking downstairs with Harvey – who asks if he believes the general.  Jim is non-commital and asks if Alfred's been found. Harvey says no – adding that Bruce has been pulling double shifts on search parties – the kid is dead on his feet

Jim approaches Bruce. Bruce points at a map, and says they need to search this area next – which has a block of abandoned buildings. Jim makes Bruce promise that he’ll rest, saying he needs him sharp - not a liability.

A tired, tearful Bruce tells Jim he doesn’t know what could have happened. Jim points out that Alfred can take care of himself and promises that he will send a team to the area.

Bruce leaves.  Harvey wanders over and says the kid is tough. They’re interrupted by Harper, who says they’ve found something.

 A crime scene.  We see the corpses of the z guys, and Harper points out their false moustaches.  They look at the warehouse they seem to have escaped from – and Jim says it seems to be a film set.  Harper says the letters were carved into the men’s chests before death.

Harvey suggests Victor. Jim says he never figured Zsasz for a cinephile.  I don’t know, Jim.  Victor is actually pretty well-rounded.  I can imagine him having a lot of interests.

Anyway Jim wants whatever this is stopped before it threatens reunification.

He also notices a chess piece tattoo.  Harvey remarks that the Chessmen are a Narrows gang, and says that there's someone they can ask about that.  I'm entertained by seeing how many contrived ways they can think to bring Lee into the storyline in some way.  

Bruce is walking down a street.  Is this the street in the area he mentioned?  Did he go get some rest?  Not sure.

He steps on a newspaper, and it catches his eyes.  He picks it up – and sees that it’s carrying the story about his parents’ murder.  Looking round, he sees the copies of the page pasted to the walls.  Turning, he sees his parents walk past the alley, laughing.  He runs after them – following them to a subway.

He runs downstairs.  The station name is apparently Stockton.  David Stockton is the cinematographer for this episode.

Bruce loses his parents, but finds himself in the room where Jeremiah was building his tunnel.  A foreboding-looking passage is now in place. Bruce sees a pearl on the floor, and immediately hares off down the passage.

 At the hospital, where Lee is now working.  She heads into a ward to see a patient, and also finds Barbara waiting there.  Barbara comments that it’s interesting to see her there.  Lee says it’s what she does: help people.

(An aside.  But the show just spent a season trying to show us that as well as having an impulse to help others – Lee also enjoyed power, and danger.  She’s fully capable of violence, and is excited by darkness.  It was hinted at way back in season one – when she was thrilled by Jerome’s confession, carried through in her willingness to continue a relationship with a man she knew to be a double-murderer, and alluded to again when she seemed pretty pleased about her mob ties through marrying Mario.  It was actually honest-to-God consistent, and last season really brought all that to fruition.  It seems, though, we’re going to forget all that characterisation now. Sorry, Lee.  Back to being the ‘good’ love interest.)

Lee shrugs Barbara off – telling her she has patients.  Barbara says she surely wouldn't kick Jim's baby momma to the kerb.   Lee says whatever happened between them is none of her concern, so if she’s here to gloat….

Barbara says she’s here for medical assistance for her little nugget.  That’s a terrible pet name, Barbara.  All it does is make people think about chicken.  She wants Lee to be her obgyn.  Lee says she can’t be serious – she tried to kill her twice.  Barbara says that was years ago.  Lee tries to fob her off – but Barbara says that whatever she thinks of her, her child is innocent. She wants the best - and that means Lee.

Lee asks if Jim knows she’s here. Barbara says it’s none of his business – and at that precise moment Jim comes in looking for Lee.

Lee?

Barbara turns, and Jim gives a pinched and sour Barbara

Barbara tells him he's interrupting a dr/patient meeting.

I'm sorry - you're her doctor?

Lee frowns

Yes, no - maybe?

(Clunk. That line felt so written)

They all stand about staring at each other, needlessly eating up screen-time on a foregone conclusion – it’s like a live-action demonstration of a love triangle.

Jim says a body turned up – it’s Narrows connection or he wouldn't have come.  Lee says that you two need to talk - I'll be outside

Barbara says she'd rather not – but Lee says if she wants her as her doctor, then she’ll talk to the baby's father.  That seems wrong in all sorts of ways.  Lee tells her the first appointment is next week, and the nurse will give her vitamins when she leaves.

Lee leaves the room – Barbara walks to the window and stares out.

Jim chides her – she’s the only one you could find?  That…. sort of shows scant regard for Barbara and your child’s welfare, Jim, and equally scant regard for Lee’s skills as a doctor.

Barbara retorts that she's the best, and that not everything is about Jim Gordon

Jim says this is.  Barbara says she told him because he deserved to know, but his involvement ended the moment he put his pants back on.  It’s entirely possible, to be honest, that Barbara was initially open to more involvement – but then Jim treated her like a bad smell last episode, so it’s maybe understandable that she’s pulled away.

Jim shakes his head. Barbara frowns, confused for a moment – then it dawns on her.

You don't think I'm fit to be a mother

Jim looks at her with an expression which is equal parts snide and judgemental.

What do you think?  

Barbara stares at him for a moment, stung, and then walks swiftly away.

He seems to realise that this was not the thing to have said – and calls after her, but she’s gone.

(An aside – OK.  This is a clusterfuck and I feel like whining about it.

We all know where they want to go with this.  Barbara will be morally redeemed just enough to be shown as caring about her baby. However, something will likely happen to her, and Jim and Lee – by that point back together – will end up raising her child – the good and moral parents the baby should have.

Aside from how squicky that all is, the problem with this is that Jim’s determination to look at Barbara as if she’s the lowest of the low makes no sense whatsoever given

1. His own moral dubiousness. Jim has a double murder he’s never faced justice for.  He went to Carmine Falcone for help because he couldn’t bear losing a pissing contest to Oswald.  He was personally and professionally allied with Sofia Falcone.  In the context of parenthood – this is a woman who was using an orphanage as a front for criminal activities.  In essence, using children as a human shield.

2. We know that he’s likely comparing Lee and Barbara and thinking that Lee would make a wonderful mother, while Barbara is unfit.  The problem with this is that while the writers might be having some selective amnesia - season 4 happened.  We saw Lee go on a bank robbery spree.  We saw her shoot Sofia Falcone in the head in cold blood.  We saw her have an affair with the man who was not only responsible for the death of her ‘friend’ Kristen, but whom she also knew to be vulnerable and mentally unstable.  Whatever criteria Jim is using to make his unfit judgement – if Barbara fails, then so does Lee.

The final problem with this is that (on top of their history) for Jim to recently have formed a tenuous relationship with Barbara – going to her for help, talking to her, trusting her… and then turn and tell her he thinks she would be an unfit mother is just low.  Sorry – but it just is.  It’s incredibly shitty behaviour no matter how you look at it.  

Given how invested Barbara was in their relationship – she even had a healthy eating plan for him once they were married – it’s highly likely she daydreamed about them having a baby.  Telling him she was pregnant, all of it.  What she’s got instead is having to go through this nightmarish version what she once dreamt about – with Jim looking at her like he’s repulsed by what he’s done and wishes she would just disappear.  A mockery of the life she thought she’d have. They’re never really going to revisit her mental health issues in any serious way, but if anything would push her to breaking point – it’s this.

In terms of knock-on effects on characterisation – it just makes it hard to root for Jim in any way when he’s being such a self-righteous hypocrite.  One of the main reasons I never really enjoyed the Jim/Lee ship before is that – of all the shared characteristics the writers could have fixed on to define them – the one that always came across most strongly when they were together was a shared sense of moral superiority.  It’s really hard not to dislike that – and I don’t want to dislike either of them.

Bruce emerges from the passage into the fireplace at Wayne Manor – to see his parents sitting in the drawing room.  He asks who they are.  Bruce’s father smiles at him

Hello champ

Bruce's dad looks sleazy. Why does he look so sleazy?  

Alfred walks in, chiding Bruce for looking so dishevelled.  Bruce asks him desperately what’s happening.  Alfred tells him to spruce up – since they have a guest.

He turns – and there’s Jeremiah, watching from the wings.

Welcome home, Bruce

Jeremiah - you're alive

Jeremiah asks if Bruce really thought Selina could kill him.  He needs to finalise his project.

Bruce lunges at him.  Jeremiah visibly startles.  Alfred holds him back.  Jeremiah’s brought a gift – which turns out to be a bomb.  Bruce tries any funny business, and Jeremiah will blow up Wayne Manor with them all inside.

Jeremiah then explains that the couple are just an unlucky couple he kidnapped and surgically altered. Alfred was nabbed in the Green Zone. Jervis hypnotised them all.

He goes on to say it’s a very important day.  Look at the way they're dressed: it’s the night they were killed.  You’re going to experience it all over again

Why?

Isn't it obvious?  Bruce – this… was the most important day of your life, and I didn't get to be part of it

(Whoa. What can you really add to that?)

Jeremiah recovers himself and tells Alfred it’s time for dinner, while Bruce stares at him.

 A pier, where Oswald watches with binoculars as a boat is blown up.  A bored Selina says three for three.

The government was apparently very thorough when it mined the river.  The government mined the river?  This plot is honestly demented.

Selina asks why he didn’t make an escape plan before he stole everyone's crap.  I honestly have no idea, Selina.  It’s pretty inconsistent with what we know of Oswald

He claims that he was working on it, remarking that anything flown out is also blown from the sky.  

An idea strikes Selina – Jeremiah’s tunnel.  She tells Oswald about it.  He scoffs, but has no better idea.  Selina tells him to meet her in the Dark Zone at night.  

He agrees, and then looks back out at the water.

Oh look – he’s swimming to shore

There’s an explosion, and Oswald winces as Selina rolls her eyes.

In the Narrows with Lee and Jim.  He’s not taken backup because he wants to keep a low profile: the Narrows is now chaos. Lee sighs that all her work was for nothing.  Well, there was that sense of self-importance.

They hear noises.  We see some random guys – who Lee says are the Chessmen’s main rivals.  They watch warily from a distance until Jim – bafflingly – decides this is the best time for a personal chat.

About the thing with Barbara

Lee raises a hand to stop him – don’t – but Jim says it’s important to him that she understands.  See, it’s like this  – it was really useful to rely on Barbara when he didn’t have any other support, and super-handy when she rolled in and saved his life, and sex in his office was a nice moment of release and comfort and affection when he was really low…..but now Lee’s back he’s realised again that Barbara is ew, and he wants to make sure she knows that.

Lee asks him what he’s going to do.  Jim says he doesn’t know – it’s his child too.

Lee purses her mouth and says that Barbara has a different opinion, before frowning and commenting that people change.

Jim says that she doesn’t know her like he does.  

Lee rolls her eyes and says he can say that again.  Because they had sex recently?  I mean, that was the case before Jim met Lee, too – they were engaged.  That line was just stupid.  

(An aside - Honestly, the writing around this whole story is dreadful.  I know that the truncated season has meant they’ve had to compress storylines, but – equally – you work with what you’ve got and adjust. There was no need to give us Baby Gordon this season.  We could still have imagined it as an event that happened in the future – or Jim could have adopted an orphan.  Equally, if they’re so intent on Jim and Lee, they could have taken things more slowly and left us with the clear indication that they were mending their relationship – but instead they’re going to hurl us towards a wedding.)  

They hear a noise and turn to see a chalked rook on a wall.  This honestly made me snort out loud.  What a scary gang.  Apparently a rook at a funny angle means they’re headed northeast.  Jim and Lee set off in pursuit.

 At Wayne Manor, Alfred lights candles on the kitchen table.

Jeremiah sighs, and tells Bruce that Alfred has been sharing stories about his childhood.  How – if it was just the family, they’d eat at the kitchen table

How… homey, and intimate

The line could be taken as a sneer, but it’s not delivered that way.  Jeremiah is leaning forward, eyes shining, gazing at Bruce.  He waits for a moment before choosing the word homey – and it’s delivered with sincerity and approval – praising Bruce’s childhood days. Intimate – by dint of the word – points rather more towards what Jeremiah wants to create now, which is only reinforced by him leaning towards Bruce – eyes wide and shiny.

Alfred interrupts the moment rather by putting a cheese and pickle toastie on the table. It’s Bruce’s favourite, apparently, due to Alfred’s influence.

I fucking love a cheese and pickle sandwich, and I don’t have either in the kitchen.

Alfred says that Thomas added aioli for flair.  What? That would be terrible.  Are we sure Thomas was a good guy?  He looks really slimy – and putting aioli in a cheese and pickle toastie is frankly upsetting.

Jeremiah laughs delightedly, and when Bruce looks at him comments

Come on, Bruce.  That’s a weird favourite food for a 12 year old.  I mean – it would have been near the #1 spot for me.  Maybe even occupying it.

Bruce says he’s playing his game, but he can let the others go – they’re innocent.  Jeremiah refuses – saying he needs the details right. Just one final touch.  He nods towards Bruce’s mother- who is smiling as Bruce’s father fastens her pearls around her neck.

Bruce tears up

Jeremiah’s tone is serious

What was it like?  Losing your parents that night?  I lost my family too, Bruce.

Bruce’s eyes close – not able to bear the weight of all this right now.

(An aside. I know all the Batman/Joker stuff is all sort of ready and prepared for Gotham – but they have done this well.  This little moment here was excellent. Before the big shift in Jeremiah’s personality, Bruce and he had started to forge a relationship.  Bruce was visiting him – was concerned about his fixation on Jerome.  Jeremiah seemed very taken with Bruce.  They were bonding and had some key similarities in their personalities: preternaturally intelligent, solemn, quiet, traumatic family pasts. It’s possible that Bruce had maybe considered Jeremiah someone he could confide in one day about the loss of his parents. Jeremiah mentioning this similarity now must feel like pressing on a bruise.)

Jeremiah looks sad as he comments that the wound still hasn't healed – he thinks about it often.

Bruce says none of this is real – and Jeremiah is trying to manipulate him.  Jeremiah’s expression is that of a child who has just been told off – resentful, and watery-eyed.

Bruce adds that it will never be real.  Jeremiah smiles and tells him that he only needs him to be thinking about that night – but his control cracks, and he leans towards Bruce abruptly, grasping his collar.

I just want to be connected to you!  I offered to you to be my best friend.

He collects himself and leans back

If we can't be friends – we can be connected in other ways

A million new fics were just started on Ao3 with that opening line.  

Bruce frowns

How?

Jeremiah smiles

You’ll see - in time

(An aside – half seriously, half in jest.  I know the Batman/Joker relationship is often played for nudge/wink giggles - but honestly, they’ve been so blatant here: wouldn’t the simplest way to derail this very elaborate plot be leaning forward and just planting a kiss on Jeremiah?  Because they can dance round it with talk of brothers and friends, but it seems clear that Jeremiah had fallen head over heels with Bruce virtually on first meeting, and then the gas twisted that into something obsessive and dark. He’s spent a long time on this plan – but he’s desperate for some kind of connection with Bruce.  It would have, at the very least, knocked him off his stride.)

Jeremiah takes a quick bite and makes an impressed face.  See.  Not entirely lost his humanity if he can acknowledge the greatness of cheese and pickle.

He puts it back down, though, and says he has to cut tonight short – we have a very important date with destiny

Making quickly for the door, he suggests Bruce find his butler and leave immediately before arming the bomb and running off.

Bruce’s eyes widen and he yells for Alfred.

Lee and Jim get to Ace Chemicals.  Inside, we see lots of guys making green stuff. Jim grabs one to question him – but all he’ll say is

Tick tock, chemical stock

Will give our Gotham an aftershock

Jim audibly deduces Jervis’ influence.  We hear applause

My my, what a thrill

Jim Gordon and the woman

He told me to kill

Jervis reminisces a little, then orders them captured.  Lee is grabbed and restrained.  A roller-skated Ecco beats Jim around the head.  Lee calls his name worriedly.

At Sirens Selina tells Barbara about Oswald’s plan.  Barbara asks why she’s helping – but Selina says it’s a ruse.  Tabitha was her friend too - she wants to gut the twerp

(Yes - Tabitha was really there for Selina.  We didn’t even get a line from her mentioning a visit, or wondering how she felt during her recovery.)

and take his loot

Barbara says they don’t have a way out – but Selina says they’ll find one

Barbara’s eyes light up – she likes this idea.

Get out together…. away from Jim, with our riches - Oswald dead in a ditch….just two single ladies and a baby who’ve killed their sworn enemy.

Selina pulls a face.  Barbara asks what?

It’s just that…. you’re pregnant

Don’t start!

Bruce convinces a hypnotised Alfred to leave by telling them there’s a gas leak. They run down the passage not a moment too soon as the bombs all detonate. There goes stately Wayne Manor.

(Out of curiosity, how old is Wayne Manor meant to be?  I know it can’t be that old)

In the passage, Bruce and Alfred are knocked to the ground by the force of the explosion  Alfred comes round, having regained his memory – and states his intention to shove Jervis’s watch up his ass next time they meet. Alfred asks if he’s alright. Bruce falters for a moment as he says the manor….

Alfred replies

Don’t worry about that now, son

Bruce points out that his leg is hurt – but Alfred reassures him again.

Bruce hugs him impulsively.

I thought I lost you

Alfred smiles at him

Me? Never

He then urges Bruce to find Jeremiah

You know where he's going to be at

That’s a weird construction for Alfred to use.  I don’t think Brits would ever add the ‘at’ unless they were consciously copying the American phrase.

Back at Ace Chemicals, Jim and Lee are tied to a pole, yet still failing to generate any tension.

Jervis wonders aloud if he should hypnotise them and  have them slit each other's necks.  Ecco laughs, but tells him to check with the Boss, who might have other ideas.

Jim tells Lee he’s sorry he got her involved.  She tells him not to be.  He says he has something to tell her.  She tells him to save it for when they make it out of here.

Jim tries to goad Jervis – calling him an errand boy.  Jervis shakes his head. He’s no errand boy.  This is simply a way to have fun.

Lee chips in, to signal to us that Jim and Lee are so close that they both think the same way without needing to communicate.

You can tell yourself that – but without your games and rhymes – you’re just a second-rater in a silly hat

Jervis tells her to shut up. For some reason – I find his sulky snappishness hot. Generally, though, I find Jervis hits the button that bypasses rational thought and just sends hormones flying.  Stupid sexy casting decisions.

Ecco whispers something to him. Jervis laughs.

He turns to Lee, and tells her she does intrigue him.  First a doctor, then the Queen of the Narrows.  Is she running from her past when she becomes someone new?  I mean – I think Lee had an identity crisis after the Tetch virus revealed her taste for darkness – but I would  argue that attempting to atone for her sins by setting up home in the Narrows and exploring this new facet of herself was more development than it was running away?  Running away would have been taking up a medical post in some other city.

He holds up his watch and begins to hypnotise them.

Selina and Oswald break into the building where Selina found Jeremiah.  They spot the tunnel, but hesitate when they hear someone coming towards them.

Alfred?

A dishevelled Alfred asks what she’s doing here, and with that?  Seems unnecessarily rude, Alfred.

Alfred tells an aghast Selina what’s happened – and adds that Bruce could use her help.  As she leaves – Oswald reaches out to hold her arm wait

Selina put her knife to his throat

You think because I didn’t kill Jeremiah – I won’t kill you?

(This line made little sense)

Alfred tries to calm her, but she goes on

You killed my friend Tabitha – you deserve to die

(Honest to God – this has been the most irritating plot point ever.  Look – if we hadn’t seen Oswald do it, and been left with a murder mystery, then everyone in town would have been a suspect, because Tabitha was so utterly obnoxious to anyone who crossed her path.  No.  One. Cares)

Alfred entreats her to put the knife down

Bruce needs you

Oswald stares at her as she leaves, and turns to Alfred

I suppose I should thank you

Alfred asks him to help him to the Green Zone

Oswald presumably hasn’t forgotten being described as that – and gestures exaggeratedly

It's that way

He leaves

Bruce enters a cinema where his parents are watching the show.  It’s Douglas Fairbanks in the Mask of Zorro – apparently one of Bruce’s favourites.  Jeremiah has reenacted the whole film.

He struts towards the camera – asking Bruce what intrigued him about the character?  His ability to strike fear in the heart of his enemies. It was maybe too effective – because this is when Bruce got too frightened and asked to leave.  What if he had conquered his fear?  Maybe his parents would still be alive.  

His parents leave, and Bruce follows.

 Bruce and Jeremiah come to a halt in the alley

That’s far enough, Bruce

You don’t have to do this!

But I - I do.  I came to a realisation.  I realised no matter what I did to bond us - some random gunman in an alley would be the man you were tied to the most, the man you saw when you closed your eyes.  I want to be the star of the show!

(*Blinks*  I mean.  I don’t think you can really get more intense than telling someone that you’re jealous that they see another man when they close their eyes.)

So, if I can't have you as a brother - bonded by love

(Hahahahahaha.  What?  No. That’s no fraternal relationship ever)

Then we'll just have to be bonded by hatred

Bruce asks if he thinks killing two people who look like his parents will really do that.  Jeremiah retorts that he put a bullet in their fraudulent skulls.  He smiles widely – so then….

Who's this lovely couple?

Bruce stares as they turn. It’s….

Jim and Lee.  They're meant to look hypnotised and dead-eyed, but – honestly - the chemistry levels are around the same as usual.

Jeremiah says it was a happy coincidence that he ran into them.  If Harvey had been with Jim, as would have been the norm, would we be seeing him in a camel coat and pearls right now?  Hair in a chignon?

Jeremiah says he’ll kill the man who’s Bruce’s second father – as well as his dear friend, Lee Thompkins. Jeremiah’s obviously not thinking clearly due to all the drama and raging hormones – since Alfred is Bruce’s second father, and he doesn’t really know Lee very well, but the writers are pretty desperate to re-establish Jim and Lee as a couple in the audience’s eyes, so Jeremiah can get a pass here.  Also – he’s about to take a very unpleasant bath, so we’ll cut him some slack.  

Jeremiah tells Bruce they’ll finally be bound.  We hear a horn nearby and see Ecco.  Jeremiah tells him Gotham will soon be cut off forever when he contaminates it with toxic chemicals.

We Selina lurking on stairs at the side of the building.  Bruce pleads with him

Jeremiah – don’t

Jeremiah adds that the piece de resistance is that he asked Jervis to make sure the hypnosis wore off the moment the pearls hit the ground – so he could see them realise what had happened as the life drained from them.  He smiles at him

Never forget – this is all for you, Bruce

Bruce tackles him – but it’s Selina who saves the day, trapping his wrist with her whip

Jeremiah and Bruce fight.  As the pearls hit the ground, Jim and Lee come out of their trance.  Ecco hits the switch, and Jeremiah runs.  The countdown starts. Jim runs for the truck – telling Bruce to go after Jeremiah while Jim will take the truck.  He tells Lee to get to Harvey and warn the people.  Lee is left behind, plaintively yelling Jim!  Oh dear. Back to Lee 1.0.

Bruce yells at Jeremiah to face him.  Jeremiah turns for a split second

Here, Bruce

Before continuing into the warehouse, chased by Bruce.

The countdown reaches zero as Jim drives for the end of the pier.  Jim jumps out of the truck and lets it continue into the water.  He stares out as it sinks.

 Ace Chemicals

Jeremiah - this ends tonight

No - now it begins

Bruce and Jeremiah fight. Bruce gets the best of Jeremiah, who lies on the ground.  For a man who just got a beating, Jeremiah is making some distinctly unpained noises, and repeatedly asking Bruce

Do you feel it?  The connection between us?  You do - don't you?  Bruce  - you feel it, tell me you feel it

There’s lots of panting and straddling and… yes.  It’s not exactly subtle.

Bruce leans into his face

You mean nothing to me

Jeremiah rises up and head butts him

Why don't you understand?

He presses Bruce against the railing, which we see is broken on one side.

You need me.  I’m the answer to your life's question.  Without me, you’re just…. a, a joke

He looks anguished

Without a punchline

He swings punch.  Bruce dodges it, which means Jeremiah pitches towards the broken railing.  It can’t take his weight, and he topples through – into the vat of chemicals below.

Bruce looks over – staring into the vat as we hear horrible sizzling noises.

(An aside – it’s an interesting choice.  Bruce didn’t intentionally push him over, nor was he given the chance to save him.)

Back at the pier, Jim stares at the now toxic water.  I’m not sure that was better, Jim.

The library, where we see Ed. He has a visitor.

After all this time, you come to me for help.  After allowing Strange to put a chip in my head. After selling me out to Gordon - and after naming a dog after me

Oswald purses his mouth.

First of all – I’m fond of that dog – I had Hugo save your life, and did you really think I didn’t have plan to save from Jim Gordon?

His face and expressions are over-exaggerated for that last one.  He’s lying, and Ed knows it.

You always have an answer for everything

Oswald says they have been through all of this before.  Fate has different plans for them.

Ed asks what the plans are. Oswald answers.

Haven't you realised yet that Gotham is a prison?  It’s time we escaped

GCPD – where Jim stares out. Lee approaches.  She heard the news about reunification being delayed for months, now.  She tells Jim it could have been worse – but he stopped it.  Jim comments that they’re right back where they started.

Lee asks what he was about to say to her when Tetch had them.  Jim says he doesn’t know.  He then adds that he would say what he said the last time they saw each other: he wishes he could go back and do things better.

Lee says that feels like a long time ago.  Jim insists nothing has changed.  Lee disagrees

But it has, Jim

Jim says it was a mistake. Ugh, Jim.  Just ugh.

Lee asks him to put himself in her shoes.  After all you said – a baby with Barbara, of all people

I mean, Lee just had a pretty serious affair with the man who had Jim unjustly sent to prison?  Am I supposed to have forgotten that?  Does it not count if there’s no pregnancy?

Jim looks down, and half-refers to what might have happened if they hadn’t lost their child.  They should really steer clear of this. Gotham hasn’t got the chops to deal with a miscarriage storyline.

Jim asks Lee what she’s doing here.  She says she doesn't know.  He’s taken on so much, and she wants to be understanding – but he let her down. When?  The whole Mario thing?  Sofia? A one night stand with Barbara when he thought that she was dead?

Jim apologises again. He then asks what that means for them. She says she guesses they have to live with it.  As she makes to leave, he reaches out to her arm to stop her.  In a really weird moment, she turns and slaps him.  What was that about?  Was that scene supposed to have been played with simmering sexual tension, or something, so her reaction is based in adrenaline?  If so – it hasn’t worked – because the scene was flat as a pancake, and the slap just seemed bizarre.

In generic romance plot fashion, the slap leads to a kiss.  Who’d have thought it? I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

Bruce and Selina stand at the beside of a scarred and bandaged Jeremiah.  He apparently has no brain activity, and is no longer a threat. Bruce thanks her for coming to help him.

Selina looks down, and tells him that the night parents were killed – she should have done something.

Bruce looks tenderly at her and tells her she’s done enough.  Selina looks down and smiles.

 Oswald and Ed stride into City Hall

It’s not much, but it’s home

Barbara is sitting at his desk

I’ve been looking through your treasure trove – you’ve been a naughty boy

She tells him that she and Selina are going murder halfsies  

She points her gun at Oswald – but can’t immediately pull the trigger.

Ed’s jaw drops

Oh my God.  You're pregnant!

Oswald gapes.  Barbara stares

How could possibly know that?

Ed gestures like it’s the most obvious thing ever

You’re glowing!  He turns quickly to Oswald to reiterate it, she’s glowing.

Oswald hilariously squints at her.

Barbara re-aims

Adieu Owald.

Oswald tries to negotiate

Come with us!

I like how Oswald’s initial escape plan was very clearly just for him and his dog – and as people have found out about it, and as he’s realised he has no idea how to go about it, he’s gradually wound up having to let more people in on it.  The submarine’s going to have to get bigger than planned.  Ed’s going to want to bring Lucius. Selina will want to bring Bruce, who’ll want to bring Alfred.....

He acknowledges that he killed Tabitha – and that Barbara wants revenge, but she also doesn’t want to raise her child in a toxic warzone.  And just like that, Oswald afforded more consideration for Barbara’s maternal instinct than Jim.

Barbara asks if they’ve found a way out.  Ed brandishes the blueprints for a submarine that can track mines using sonar

Barbara asks where it is. Oswald eyes flit off round the room as he realises that this next part won’t sound good.

Ed pipes up

We have to build it

Barbara is not impressed.

Yeah  - I’m gonna shoot you

Oswald squeezes his eyes closed – but Barbara still can’t pull the trigger.  She stares in consternation at her hand

What is happening…?

Oswald opens his eyes, and gestures towards her bump

Perhaps…..?

Barbara snaps that it was a rhetorical question.  She says she won’t shoot him for the sake of her child – but she’ll never forgive him

Oswald’s fine with this, and nods his head

I understand

Barbara’s exasperated with everything and leaves.

Oswald calls after her in an attempt to cement these new friendlier relations

So who's the lucky father?

Ed leans a little to the side to watch her go and presumably to hear her reply – but all they get is a

Shut up

 General Observations

I want to be star of the show!

Kudos to CM – who is amazing here.  It would be too easy to play Jeremiah as just flat-out villainous.  But he’s not.  Gotham dances around by using ‘best friend’ and ‘brother’, but – let’s be honest – neither of those remotely cover the jealousy he feels over Bruce seeing another man when he closes his eyes at night.  Jeremiah is in love with Bruce.  Desperately. He longs for connection. The way in which he expresses that is monstrous, twisted by the gas, but the need itself is human and recognisable.  As such, he stays – on some level, at least – sympathetic.

Oswald

The idea that Oswald is desperate to leave the city because he suddenly feels it is a prison is way more believable than him feeling he’s conquered everything.  Oswald’s stints in Arkham were hideously traumatising. Anything that feels like a prison is something he’ll want to escape immediately.

Barbara (and Jim, and Lee)

And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother – I’m unfit.  Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley Hypocrites

What a mess

Jim’s insinuation that Barbara is an unfit mother is low, lousy and rotten.  No-one would say she’s squeaky clean, but barring Harper and Lucius – no-one is.  Jim and Lee have three murders between them.  He’s being a self-righteous hypocrite and is horribly lacking in any compassion or decency.

The show is longing to fall into its usual Madonna/Whore thing with Barbara and Lee – but in order to do this, it’s having to conveniently forget about what Lee got up to last season. Now – given that we remember this, having her fling lines around like Barbara, of all people when she spent last season having a pretty serious affair with Ed, who framed Jim and murder her friend, makes her seem like the worst kind of moral hypocrite.

Jim and Lee

I am what would be termed ‘old fandom’.  I am used to my preferred pairings living exclusively in fanfic.  I have no expectation of seeing them become canon. I don’t harass creators online for them to become canon.  I don’t claim they should become a ship because they’re somehow more morally worthy than other ships.  I’m happy to watch canon, and then toddle off to read and write fic about them, as well as indulging in meta.

As such, while I ship Gobblepot – I’ve said, for a couple of seasons now, that Jim and Lee are likely endgame.  I was surprised they weren’t back together at the end of season three.  The show is insistent that Barbara’s not morally retrievable as a romantic interest at this point.  At the same time – they’re big on designated romance: Jim has to be in a relationship.  This is par for the course, and not something that especially bothers me.  Like I said – this is why we have fanfic.

But wow – the execution is just so bad.  We’re given thin reasons to mesh their plotlines, which also have the knock-on effect of temporarily dumping Harvey and Lucius out of the story.  The past is retconned to create a partnership: Alfred is Bruce’s second father figure, not Jim – and he barely knows Lee.  A chunk of Lee’s characterisation – her fascination with darkness – has been cut out and binned.  A whole mess of unresolved issues have been swept under the carpet.  

The scene wrapping it up was pretty execrable, to be honest.  Aside from being flat as a pancake, it consisted almost entirely of some very generic questions answered with a variety of ‘don’t knows’.  Why are you here?  What were you going to say to me?  What does this mean for us? Neither seemed entirely sure – then we wrapped up with a confusing slap and a compulsory kiss lifted from any generic romance you care to name.

If you put to the side the fact that it’s cute because the actors are married in rl – the in-universe foundation for this is non-existent at this point.  They could write it as two traumatised people in a harsh situation finding some comfort in familiarity, trying to recreate a simpler time in the past when they were happier with themselves - which would be interesting and emotionally-engaging, but they’re determined to sell it as a grand passionate romance that’s written in the stars, and that’s where it falls down.  It just feels so perfunctory.  And it’s particularly glaring when it’s juxtaposed here with the tight-knit and complicated and tender relationship Bruce has with Selina, or Jeremiah’s frighteningly intense passion for Bruce.

More interesting than wherever they take that next week will be how Bruce deals with the aftermath of all that’s happened, and the building of a rapidly-expanding submarine.

Thoughts?

[hjazysol]

The Ultimate Battle Pt 9

The journey to the castle was silent no one expected someone to die especially since this was supposed to be a vacation.

Ryu: Well. Here we are.

Toon Link: The Castle.

Pirahna Plant: Bowser I'm coming for you my spitefullness! I'LL save yoooooooooo-

Mega Man: Hey wait up!

Mega Man ran into a barrier which seemed to ignore Pirahna Plant.

Mega Man: Hey what gives?

Barrier: Only Mario characters allowed.

Mega Man: Dang it.

Mario: Okay. Imma gonna bring DK and Geno. You 2 will-a look for-a Peach and I'll go to Bowser. We can do it as long-a as we remember who and what-a we are-a fighting for.

-----

Galeem: Only 4 fighters left. No matter. Release the Princess I want to see her suffer when the plumber dies.

-----

Bowser: How boring nothing has happened. Being a guard is hard. What's that noise?

Pirahna Plant: -oooooooooouuuuuu!

Trips over.

Pirahna Plant: Ow.

Bowser: Oh it's one of my underlings. Get lost I'm not bothered.

Pirahna Plant: I've come to save you.

Bowser: Save me? Save me. Oh I get it you are no longer under the influence of My fair Lady, Galeem. Which means what your doing is mutiny. That means. I GOTTA KILL YOU! BURN!

Pirahna Plant: Yikes

Bowser began swiping his claws towards Pirahna Plant. Trying to deter him from existence. Pirahna Plant ran past Mario.

Mario: Pirahna Plant what are you-

Bowser barged into Mario knocking him into Pirahna Plant making him lose balance.

Bowser: A pesky plumber and a house plant pefect kills.

Pirahna Plant was being dragged away by the leaves. Mario woke up, came behind Bowser. Bowser turned around and grabbed Mario throwing him threw the air. Mario had landed expertly and threw a plethora of fireballs at Bowser as a smoke screen. With Bowser now confused Mario took the opportunity to grab Bowser by the tail. He began to spin him around in a circle. Then he threw him up to the second floor of the castle. Where Peach was nearly rescued by Geno and DK.

Peach: Almost done picking the lock?

Geno: Nearly.

DK: Come on dude.

Bowser and Mario burst through the ceiling to the next floor.

Peach: Mario!

Mario: Peach!

Bowser: Bowser!

Peach: Watch Out!

Bowser unleashed a flurry of punches and claw attacks which Mario dodged expertly. He was jumping off walls, floors even Bowser's head. He then went to jump on him again but Bowser went into his shell sending Mario upwards. Bowser grabbed Mario by the foot and slammed him into the ground. Raising him foot to step on him. Mario rolled out of the way. Bowser began to breathe fire at his moustached foe burning Mario's behind in the process.

DK: We're almost done and voila.

Geno: Your free now.

Peach: Thank you.

DK: Hop on.

Bowser: The princess.

Whilst he wasn't focused Mario went in and punched Bowser to the roof. The atmosphere was rainy.

Bowser: That! Is! It!

Bowser raised his hands up and slammed them down agressivley. A dark aura began emitting from him he started to grow larger. His posture grew crooked. His teeth were much more jagged. Horns were curved and pointier. His spikes stretched out becoming much sharper then they were. He was now Giga Bowser.

Bowser: Showtime!

Bowser was knocking Mario all about the place. He was dragging Mario across the roof tiles like a sponge. He pinned him to the ground and was ready to punch him in the face.

Bowser: Lights out Mario!

He missed Mario had slipped away because his body was sliperry. Mario jumped to reach Bowser, but he just caught him right out of the air. It was then when Bowser began to crush the poor plumbers bones. He eventually resisted the strong grasp Bowser had on him. Running up his arm and then to his face. He kicked Bowser in the face a couple times but they did not phase him. Bowser threw Mario down to the ground, and then started to thrash him about all over the place with no end to Mario's pain. Yet again trying to beat Mario he raised his foot and brought it down vigourously and crushed Mario with his foot seemingly finishing him off.

Bowser: Yes. I finally won.

Peach: Mario!

Mario: Not so fast Bowser. Might wanna put that tally on my side.

Bowser: How are you alive?!

Mario: Please. I've-a taken a blast similar to-a that of a nuclear warhead in a tennis court. That you caused may I add. This is just a tickle compared to that.

Mario grabbed a Super Star from his pocket and powered up a strong punch.

Bowser: No I won't allow this. No. Mario jumped up into the air cracking the ground beneath him and let it rip. The full force of the Super Star was about to be unleashed.

Mario: So long-ay Bowser!

Mario punched Bowser directly off of the building. Sending him down towards the others. He began to revert back to normal.

*stop the music*

-----

Peach: Is Bowser okay?

Lucas: He's over there. He seems super scared. But we don't know what.

Mario went over to talk.

Bowser: Jr. Jr. Jr where are you?!

After shouting for his son for ages now Bowser lost hope thinking the worst had happened to his son.

Mario: Bowser. Don't worry we'll find him.

Bowser: We don't even know where he is you say you've looked everywhere where could he possibly be.

Mario looking outwards: I think I got good guess. That thing must have him. Galeem.

Everyone: What!?

It was time Galeem had come down to fight the smashers herself.

Mario: Everyone this is it it's time to end this.