#MY SOULL LEFT

[1streason]

IM FREAKING OUT CHAPTER 32 AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[miasudare]

Sm: "Me an' the soulles bitch I pulled by bein a damn strippah"

I did it and it added nothing in my life. I should be finishing rnaj designs and help with the lore but look wtf I'm doing.

Anyways

Sudaremia/Sm (or whatever you wanna call her)

+24 y/o stripper

+Any pronouns she doesn't care

+Pansexual

Her mother wasn't the best and cheated on her dad a lot. Her dad was an alcoholic and changed jobs frequently. At the age of 12 her mother left them, leaving her with her dad. She was abused for four years by her dad.

At the age of 16, her father died because of liver failure in the very home she was in. She didn't do anything with the body so it rotted in the living room for years. The current place of the body is unknown.

She started to work at various places and even became homeless for two years. At the age of 20, without hesitation, she became a stripper. She doesn't care about what people might say about her "taboo" work.

×Total asshole to everyone (except her girlfriend somtimes)

×Alcoholic for fun

×Freeloader

×Generally dumb

×Will praise herself

Tisch (Morticia)

+22 y/o jobless

+She/Her They/Them

+Lesbian

She comes from a rich (kinda) family so she doesn't work. Her father owns a music studyo and her mother is a gynecologist. She has 2 little twin brothers.

She doesn't have any kinda traumatic experience other than getting bit by a Chihuahua. She is mostly calm and sweet. She physically can't say bad stuff. She gets worried easily. She wants to become a pedagog (children's therapist)

She lives at a 3+2 flat and has a bunny named Chips. She met with Sm by accident when she almost ran over her.

×Sweetheart

×Clean of everything

×Donates to charity

×Has morals (unlike some people)

-F.u.

×Loves kids

[superconductivebean]

#1038: [seen]

Just so it will be out from the replies. Just so I can have it said loud and clear, after months. So you are able to understand what's it with me, a bit.

tldr; beanie and his trust issues because he was screwed over bad

Imagine how discouraging it feels after you saw a craze for your favourite character, decidedly stepped out of drafts to have people see your things because you know they'll be happy to have more things, expecting that craze turn conversations and its own little fandom, much like what I already had in another fave's tag, but in return you'd have a ghost town; a ravaged beach; an empty plot of land you hoped would become a little thriving garden one day.

To some extent, however, it did. I'm glad to be a part of it -- I hope I am. I'm glad to have made friends and talked to so many awesome people over the past few weeks. This post aren't about you, lovelies.

I value your support and attention tremendously.

But why am I bitter, you may ask. What happened.

Last time I went for a craze, a wlw craze, the fave craze, I had always been downplayed in favour of someone else. Gone unnoticed. Never spoken about in relation to wlw. I was even told I had to treat fandom like a marketing game at all times in order to be seen. Seen. [seen] at a place that claimed to be friendly, supportive, accepting, that was every thing under the Sun, but that had always ignored what I had, but what it would also had asked of me all the time: wlw / wlw smut.

Only never to read it. Never to even open it, at least. Never to remember their asks were always answered and could be answered right away. But alas, unseen, unnoticed; largest wlw fic collection in Russian in this fandom went to bin because I can't look at it any longer anymore.

Granted, it wasn't anything perfect, spectacular, or even finished. But it was very dear to me nonetheless, writing these silly romances and shaping characters I post headcanons about. It all has started there.

What I faced was a mistake which I profoundly regret making, placing my trust in that finicky interest of others, very eager to had me but then… never telling me something vital and crucial. Never realising the more silence I'd gotten would eventually lead to my leave after all my work -- my lore stuff -- would've been called a delusion.

Word thrown at me in annoyance at my futile attempts to have some rhyme and reason to whatever conversation we'd had at the moment. I do not take offences lightly. Especially after said delusions were praised and highly rated. I left, didn't want to know what my fics were nor who I were to hid them and never to share them with anyone.

I'm afraid of making this mistake again; writing and publishing more works that I shall, must approve of myself first, accept them as my soullings, and then… what, see them being [seen] again? first praised, then, when I'm appearing slightly less conforming, dip them into shit, because this is what they really are -- to somebody I used to trust? Because this is where I am at, too -- at the septic pit, yes?

I'm not projecting, mind. But keeping this ungodly experience in mind and remembering how it has affected me, shaped me into an anxious and angry creature, I just…

Don't ask if you're not going to ever indulge in anything written not by the dear friend's hand, please. Let the sleeping dogs lie. Let them hum to each other, growl, snore, hiss and share dreams in peace.

[la-cocotte-de-paris]

Tagged by the wonderful @drum-cu-naluci - thank you, darling!! <33

Last song: This Is What They Meant by Biig Piig

Currently watching: What We Do In The Shadows; planning on seeing the new season of Futurama and catch up on The Great.

Currently reading: I'm not really reading anything atm -- teaching fries my brain so I avoid anything I once used to enjoy (can't wait to move abroad so I can take a bit of a break from that and get back to writing lol). I guess I'm leafing through the Gazette des atours de Marie-Antoinette with some scholarly prologues to help a friend out with her MA/MFA. I've so many books and in multiple languages but I just can't rn... </3 Any recommendations?

Current Obsession: Strangely, I don't think I have any new obsession! All the ones I've had have been around for a long time now so it isn't news when I say it, even though they're technically current -_-" :P We all know the usual things that come to my mind in regards to my obsessions, hahaha! I guess I'm trying to get into a better skincare routine? I'm also trying to fix my diet to something healthier; it has been atrocious the past few months and I am not happy with it lol. I want more nourishing food and my past living situation wasn't really helping. Hopefully now it will improve as I have left that place!

I shall tag (if you want ofc): @lily-of-elysium @wernerherzoghaircut @melancholic--soull @welcome-home-nyx @cafeomancer @little-miss-scare-all666 @neednottoneed @sonybuzz42 @amarantoo and anyone else who sees this and would like to participate <3

[lailawinchesterr]

silence in the city

pairing; sam x reader/ dean x reader summary; you’re going through a rough patch with your boyfriend, Sam, and dean is there for you. where does that leave your relationship with the boys? tags; angst, suggestive, mentions of rape, mentions of soulles sam.

We’re on the couch with one of Dean’s ‘underrated’ movies playing. He already left with a quiet ‘goodnight’ a few minutes ago so when I look over at Sam to see him already watching me, I’m not surprised. And then I lean in, claiming his lips on mine and he doesn’t seem to mind so I do it harder, pulling him closer, and he leans down a little more so he doesn’t strain his neck then he pulls away and I whine at the loss of contact.

“You sure?” Sam asks and I smile at him, nodding. He’s sweet like that. We’ve waited at least two years but he still doesn’t mind waiting more. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, we don’t have to rush.”

“Maybe we don’t have to go all the way today, just a little. Just… kiss me, Sam.” He does and I reciprocate desperately. We didn’t talk much about safe words but before he lost his soul our main ones were ‘red’ and ‘green’, so we both assume it’s the same ones now. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groans when I flip us over so I’m on his lap now. I move against him, pushing our bodies closer (if that’s possible), but still through our clothes. I don’t know how much I want to let Sam see today but I don’t reckon it’s a lot, so this will have to do.

His hands instinctively find my hips but I quickly push them off, holding them down onto the couch and moving a little faster, rougher, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. “Sammy…”

“Baby, can I kiss you?” I take a second to process his words before quickly picking my head up and leaning in, he connects our lips and his tongue slides over my bottom one, licking and waiting for an invitation. I grant it to him, removing my hands from their grip on his wrists so I can ground myself on his shoulders. 

Fuck. We haven’t even touched each other in so long it’s embarrassing how fast I’m going to come. Sam pulls away for a second to speak, “Hey, fuck, you need to slow down, sweetheart, won’t last like this.”

“Glad I’m not the only one.” I let out a laugh but I don’t think he finds it as funny because his hands try to find my hips again but I quickly hold them in place on my thigh. “Okay, yeah.” I slow down my rhythm to basically nothing but we’re both still breathing heavily and into the other’s neck. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks out of nowhere and I frown, still grinding on him softly, still panting, still out of breath and shaking and wet, “Talk to me.”

“What— shit— what do you mean?”

“Your hands. Are you scared? Sweetheart, Stop for a second.” I want to stop to listen to this riveting conversation about how much of a coward I am but I couldn’t even if he begged me to because I am just so so so close.

“Hey!” His hands fly to my waist and I freeze immediately, slapping both hands away with much more force this time.

“Stop it, Sam! Don’t touch my waist again, please.” My voice is all but inviting for any type of negotiation and he doesn’t looks like he wants to anyways, putting both of them up in defeat but staring right into my eyes

“What’s wrong? Why?”

“‘Cause…” I say as if that’s all the reason in the world and try to get off of him but he quickly shakes his head, evidently struggling to keep his hands to himself. I stay planted on his half-hard on.

“Can you just… can you not run away from this? Can we talk about it instead of forcing it?” 

“No, I don’t want to.” And I do get off of him this time, leaning back into the couch. Now I’m wet and angry. Great, that’s just awesome.

“If you spent half as much time talking to me as you do avoiding it—”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t the one who was raped by your own fucking boyfriend so I hardly see how you’re an expert on the matter.” I can already feel the shocked expression and disappointment and hurt coming from him so I don’t bother looking, instead I stand up and walk to my room.

While walking back to my room I stopped by the kitchen to get some pills for the headache I know I’m going to get later and maybe some sleeping pills too. 

Then I see Dean. Dean Winchester who we all thought was dead asleep in his bed was actually eating cherry pie in the kitchen a few feet from me and Sam’s fucking and fighting.

“Dean? What’re you doing up?”

“I didn’t go to sleep. Y’all just looked like you wanted to be alone so I bailed.” I nod and walk over to the fridge. I’m not certain about what I’m looking for but I’ll know it when I find it. “By the way,” I hear from behind me, barely, and i just hum in acknowledgment as I scour and— yes! Cereal! I take the milk out and go to the cupboards for the cereal. 

Dean clears his throat, his mouth no longer full, “By the way, if you ever wanna talk, you know I’m here for you, right?”

I, honest to God, can’t think of one time in my entire life where Dean has said that to me and I’ve known the man for the better part of a decade. 

“Sure…” My words aren’t sure but I hope he doesn’t pick up on that because I don’t mean to offend him, we just haven’t always been friends. 

The first time I met Sam and Dean was on a hunt and neither of them trusted or liked me for the entirety of it. The fifth hunt we accidentally met on was when they finally let their guard down (to some extent) to see I was just an average hunter like they are. Though I hold nothing to the infamous Winchesters.

Even then, Dean was never my best friend. We never even spoke alone, mostly just when Sam was around. And even when I got with Sam a couple of months later, Dean had his doubts (which he made crystal clear) and kept a wall up ever so slightly. Only when I was ten months into dating Sam did Dean strike conversations when we were alone. We went on some hunts together without my boyfriend and we even texted sometimes. I think that was the biggest step to take with grandpa because man, does he hate to text.

There’s an exasperated breath then, “I’m serious.”

“Okay.” I nod once and assemble my bowl of lucky charms. Dean is a sweetheart, honestly, and attractive as hell, sure, but he’s also emotionally unavailable and extremely traumatized. Both of those qualities are ones I already handle with his brother, I don’t need a second Winchester to do take care of.

“I just mean that if you ever want to tell me anything about how you and Sam are doing—” Ah, there it is. The blatant need to protect Sam from everyone and everything. Not limited to those who love him, of course, because who could really ever love Sam more than his older brother?

“Sam’s fine, Dean.” 

“I don’t mean just him. What about you? Are you fine?”

“Yes— why are you doing this? Why are you asking about me?”

When I look up from the counter Dean’s no longer eating, just staring at me, as if willing me to make eye contact. “‘Cause, you’re family, you know that, right?” 

Family? Since when am I family? The most ‘family’ I’ve been to him is due to the fact that Sam fucks me occasionally and that I sleep in one of the many bedrooms in this shit hole. “Okay… thanks.”

“Fuck,” He rubs a hand over his mouth then gets up, walking over to me. He’s much closer now that I anticipated and I’m hardly doing anything to cover my hardened nipples or my too-low sweatpants that clearly show off my belly button piercing and white underwear straps.

“I can’t have you doubting that. I know I ain’t the best at this whole thing but you’ve always been family, ever since you helped with Cas—” that’s the second hunt we went on, “and then Charlie—” third hunt, “then you got with Sam and maybe I haven’t showed it but we do care about you. I care about you. I don’t just wanna know if Sammy’s okay, wanna know if you are too.”

I take a deep breath that maybe almost chokes me, “Yeah,” I don’t wanna cry in front of Dean. He’d just make fun of me, but I have so much to cry about it and I don’t know if I can hold it. “Yeah, Dean, I know.” Please God, don’t let my voice break. “I’m good, I’m okay. Thanks. I’m going— yeah, my room. I’m— okay, yeah, g’night.” 

And I’ve never run out of a room so fast.

part two

gonna post a part two later, not sure where I’m going with it though but this idea just popped into my head cause I love those two codependent freaks sm.

[veangeanceawaits]

The fires flames melt my icy nonexistent heart. The wax stick to my finger like bitter deception. Deception that I have a heart.

It burns me, such a clear liquid, such a love. Feel the warmth the fire gives me.

Feel the love that the burn gives us.

How come you left me?

How come I haven't come up with an answer.

How have I managed to become a soulles gear.

A gear in a neverending machine, that never stops, never misses.

How come we never leave?

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Chapter 11

Summary: Arriving back at the bunker, an unexpected guest joins that makes Alex lose control, and then Dean loses his battle with The Mark.

Pairing: None

Characters: OFC!Alex Morgenstern, OFC!Aloyuisus Morgenstern, MOC!Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena Macleod, Castiel

Word Count: ~2K

Warning: Dark fic. Show level violence. Trigger warning: sibling violence. Disassociation. Trauma.

Author’s Note: I know that it is short; however, with two fight scenes back to back, it seems appropriate. Feedback is gold! Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

Author’s Note 2: My lovely beta @myloversgone is moving, so the next few chapters may be unbeta’d. I do use Grammarly (free) so forgive my mistakes. Thank you for your patience.

Arriving back at the bunker, they could all feel the effects of the portal. Sam and Dean quickly got out the bottle of water and chocolate Alex had packed for them.

Castiel and Rowena sat at a nearby table with extra water and snacks when they arrived.

Castiel swiftly grabbed her father’s corpse and flew to the infirmary then back to them again.

Alex, however, was looking around and listening. She took a few steps back as her illuminated yellow eyes scanned the room and glanced into the next one.

“Alex?” solicited Dean.

She raised a finger at him as she shifted her head side to side, closed her eyes, and took another three steps but to the side. Her shoulders tensed followed by an elbow jab 45 degrees behind her followed by another elbow jab directly behind her at an invisible form. She quickly knelt and swept her leg behind her causing a loud thud and faced the now visible intruder as she pulled out her hunting knife from her boot, and then plunged it into his shoulder. A painful, deep scream roared from him, the familial male bled from his left shoulder as her glowing yellow eyes peer down into her brother’s hazel ones, “Hello Aloy.” She kept her hand on the knife as he spoke.

Through gritted teeth, Aloy explained his appearance, “Dad said I would be safe with you.”

She quirked a haughty eyebrow at him and scoffed, “Really? The dead dad card?” She stood and boxed in his shoulders with her feet, smirking mischievously. “Surely you can do better than that.” She lifted her foot placing the tip of her boot on the palmal buried in his shoulder, “It’s hard to believe since you don’t have a soul.” She slowly wiggled the knife as her brother gritted his teeth and groaned. A cruel smile curled her lips as her brows sloped together and creased watching Aloyuisus in pain.

“Alex,” called Castiel, firmly, as if trying to command her.

She glared at him silently for a few moments, challenging him, and when he did not respond, she returned her attention to her brother, “Intruders aren’t welcome. Especially the soulles.”

“Put it back,” Aloyuisus said, eyes closed through continued gritted teeth and panting. His face was flushed with sweat beginning to dot his face.

Alex grinned, raised a brow and pushed the knife in further.

Aloy grabbed her ankle with his uninjured arm. “Please. Stop. Just put it back,” he begged.

Everyone watched and waited while Castiel, Dean, and Sam began to slowly approach the siblings.

What no one noticed was Dean fighting his own losing battle against The Mark. The lack of engagement in the highly volatile settings angered it. Dean could feel the wrath, the need for violent engagement with Alex and her broth in their fight, and the desire to bathe Dean’s hands in their blood. He stopped his approach as he felt The Mark gaining control while watching the exchange. It was an odd reminder to Dean of the conflict between Sam, Castiel and when he was a demon in the bunker.

When Sam and Castiel took another, synchronized, step, Alex reacted by putting her palm facing them forcing them to stop their approach, as if pinning them in their place.

Rowena moved behind them all near the closest exit and waited.

The tension in the air grew thicker.

Alex’s shining fluorescent eyes looked between Sam and Castiel as her face quickly fell lax.

A silent warning missed by most, Dean’s hand quickly begame knickled white fists, his face stoic and unreadable, and his form unmoveable by his own will. The Mark was bidding its time and Dean only had so much energy to withstand its assault on his mind. If only he coud warn someone.

Alex immediately grabbed Aloyuisus’ neck easily lifting him up as she stood. He used the change in motion to withdraw the knife and slash at Alex’s side. The surprise made her drop him which he uses to run into the library. She picked up the knife with a smirk, watched his movements and stalked him after him as she released her hold on Sam and Castiel.

When she reached the library, he disappeared from sight. “Aloy, you know I don’t like these silly games you play,” she yelled out, predatory eyes searching the area as she kept the brothers and Castiel in the corner of her eye. She threw the knife witha grunt embedding it into the wall parallel to her and withdrew a machete from her back.

The lights in the library flickered and dimmed; her eyes aglow in the dimness skimming the room awaiting for Aloyuisus’s reveal.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Sam approached the library stopping at the steps exchanging glances. Dean remained still and silent as his forest green eyes watched ever move Alex made.

Sam looked to Dean reading his body movement and placed a hand on Castiel’s arm tugging.

Castiel followed Sam’s eyes to Dean as they both read Dean’s body language.

Dean had a hand on his gun and the other had drawn a hunting knife from his back.

Sam looked to Castiel silent and knowing the environment was too unstable to help Dean and Alex as all their focus was currently directed on the current possible threat, Alex.

Alex unexpected jumped over one of the library tables with the machete out front like a sword as her brother appeared. A savage grin across her lips as the machete pierced through her brother’s abdomen and landed on the other side. With both hands on the hilt, she twisted the blade and blood gushed out of the wound spreading across her front.

Aloyuisus’ face paled, eyes wide in fear, and mouth agape staring into her yellow eyes.

Alex leaned her face close to his watching his eyes, his life fade. She ripped the blade through his side towards the library entrance. He collapsed to the ground holding his torso as blood pooled around him. When she looked up to the library’s entrance what saw caused a shift inside her:

Dean remained unreadable and stoic as his eyes had darkened now remaining on her.

She noticed his body positioning and the weaponry in both hands except both fists were white knuckled.

Sam looked at her, weariness and fear written clear across it. He had a protective arm out towards Dean and his other hand on Castiel’s sleeve.

Castiel’s brow was furrowed together and lips in a thin, pale line but his sad eyes hurt to see. He had his hand gripping his angel blade in his sleep ready to move as soon as opportunity struck.

Something was wrong.

Everything is wrong, she realized.

She looked down at the floor to Aloyuisus and gasped. Her eyebrows rose as she examined her brother. Fuck. She threw the machete on the table and knelt down immediately touching his chest, her hand luminous of a warm, yellow light.

His wounds swiftly glowed.

Her other hand cupped his face as she watched his color return. “Aloy?” She said to him watching for a shift in his face. “Aloy?!” She said louder at him.

Castiel watched Alex’s body language change and recognized her healing him. He quickly approached her, both hands empty.

Sam moved towards Dean who only shifted his movement closer to the library dark eyes remained on Alex.

Alex smiled as she saw Aloyuisus regain consciousness.

His hazel eyes bored into her matching ones. “You don’t get to do this,” he groaned and started to sit up.

“Wait,” she said. She kept her hand on his chest. She looked confused a moment and looked towards Castiel’s approach. She smiled and looked back to her brother, “I remember.” She closed her eyes, instantly Aloyuisus’ clothes and the floor were clean as well as repaired. She stood up and backed away from him. She removed her weapons and put them on the table before offering him her hand.

Castiel stood closeby as Alex helped Aloyuisus up from the floor.

Releasing his hand, she took a step towards Castiel keeping Aloy in sight. Alex looked to Sam and Dean, worry upon her brow.

Castiel gently grabbed her arm giving her a warning look as she step towards them.

Alex didn’t see Sam trying to engage Dean verbally or Rowena backing into the kitchen when Sam subtly motioned for her to do so. She saw Sam’s back as he faced Dean with words unheard and Dean’s eyes darkened with her approach. She put her hands up making sure they saw that she was unarmed as she approached.

A growl erupted between the brothers as Sam attempted to calm Dean down and remove the gun from his hand. Dean sliced the knife through the air at Sam causing him to back up towards the library.

Alex disappeared from the library and reappeared in front of Sam pushing him out of the way as Dean’s blade sliced into her arm. She screamed and punched him in the face alternating arms ignoring the pain.

Sam staggered but regained as he saw Alex kick Dean in the chest then a spinning kick into his wrist forcing him to drop the knife. He was surprised by her unexpected change in direction towards the map room table. She put one foot into the chair, the other stepping on the table, and then ran into a half arc on the table back towards Dean.

Dean had regained his balance and ran after her as she stepped onto the table.

Alex jumped off the table, both knees aimed at Dean’s chest and her hands outstretched towards him. She landed into his chest and wrapped her hands around the base of his skull and neck.

Vanishing before everyone’s eyes.

Tag @riley-phoenix @fluffiest-dreams @myloversgone

[pheadrus]

how did I grow up. no personality on one side of my family and no sanity on the other. both my parents are the ostracised one in each group. i tell you I had No environment in which to foster social skills just none

[petitelepus]

Can you do a matchup for my OC? MTMTE maybe?Her name is moonlight drops. Her hair is winter white with light/dark blue fading and in pigtails style and she had one side of hair covering her left eye, she wears sleeved blue crop tops with yellow angel wings around the printed word angel, having a black crop top tank top under it, she wears a skirt with shorts under it so she wouldn’t get her skirt flipped up, stockings to below her skirt and boots. She really shy and very sweet as a flower but she doesn’t really like being touched or anything to do with touching cuz she has haphephobia, her feelings are also are sensitive as a plants/flowers feelings, ptsd from childhood but she willingly to try to get over her fear of haphephobia. She loves plants and flowers so she knows how to gardened them, she very gentle whenever she gardening. She sometimes loves listening to calmly and soothingly music to calm down, she very well behaved with manners and kind so she sometimes call people sir, even the bots. She loves art and appreciates the artist for creating these arts, she loves some sun dresses and such, she also vanilla (btw shes not human, she a species I made up, flowerlet soullings I call them, half humanoid and half flowers of any kind of flower, she is a very rare kind of flower of her kind)

I match Moonlight Drops with Minimus Ambus/Ultra Magnus!

Her sweetness, kindness, and good manners pulled Minimus in. She didn't judge him for not being in his Ultra Magnus armor, no, she smiled at the sight of true him and accepted him as he was. The least he can do is to return her feelings.

It takes time for Taurus to warm up to people, but when they do they are gentle, kind, and most of all loyal. Minimus loves all these qualities in her as he does her music taste also.

It doesn't help how beautiful she also is. Her style is feminine but not raunchy and there seems to be this sweet whiff around her constantly and it's both mouth-watering sweet and calming.

Minimus has never and won't touch her without her consent. He made it clear the moment they met and when she had told him about her phobia.

Loves watching her tend her own private flower garden while listening to some calming music or perhaps listening to Minimus himself hum with the music. He has a lovely voice that calms her down so this relationship is bound to thrive like flowers she is.

[glados-boyfriend-girlfriend]

A soulless creatures analyzed form a Caroline and Glados POV

“Never knew this curious head of mine

Never knew what is love if kept inside

Nothing but an endless, empty heart

Like laying in the sea within the dark

Give me a piece of your heart, of your heart

Give me a piece of your hands as we go”

This part could represent a Caroline, imagine her when she discovers that cave is gone, that she’s gonna be turned into Glados, and there’s nothing she can do, so she decides to do it in her own accords, and the when the day comes, she realizes that’s she spend her entire life not knowing how to feel love but being in love with her own curiosity, like she know she loves science, but she just can feel it.

“I wouldn't mind if I can't find, I can't find

Anything to save our heart

All the pieces of my body's gone

Look at me now and tell me how I feel inside

Every pieces that I lost, I have lost”

This is when Caroline is being uploaded to Glados, she can feel that she’s losing herself, and she wants to save as much of her she can, she want to save a pice of her soul so bad, but how can a machine have a soul? In the end she lost herself in the desperation and there’s was almost nothing left of her.

“Calm, I wander after dawn restores

Waiting for the world to turn once more

Listening to the deep magnetic sound

Hunting for a victim, lying down

Come back to me, after peace restores soulless creatures”

Glados awakens calmed, aware and lost, not knowing who she is, but feeling what she has to do, she doesn’t known when they gonnat turn on her, she doesn’t know why they should, but she knows they will, so she acts as expected of her, like a soulles creature.

“Feel some hearts, I wouldn't lie

I got memories that travels my mind

Fear not, fear not

When you go, I got pieces of your hate in my soul

Look at me now (look at me now)

I'm falling apart in daylight

All the pieces that I've lost, I have lost”

Glados remembers, she remembers Caroline memories but since she’s not Caroline, they dont scare her, but the hate that was the only thing Caroline was able to save in Glados body made her realize something, this hate isn’t hers, she didn’t knew Caroline or cave or anyone, burt she feels Carolines heart, and how her last wish was to “do science because she can, and not because someone told her” and although Caroline felt hate towards that wish because it felt imposible to archive, Glados doesn’t feel that hate cause it’s her reality now, and she loves it.

[larentia-ray09]

Stupid Monster Headcannon #1: Growth

I’ve received two comment in my work that talk about the possibility of Freckles dying, and I’d like to clear up on that. While at FIRST, I did think that it would have been a joke since she was in quite a…situation with where we left her (with Edge lord *cough*), the second time it was mentioned, the user explicitly stated that she looked fragile and my dumb as fuck brain FINALLY figured the whole shebang. I’ll be straight up: No, she isn’t dying and no, this isn’t a spoiler. Freckle’s health is more of a development and has nothing to do with the plot (which is all over the place and extremely small) whatsoever.

 So why isn’t she able to use magic? And why is she so weak physically?

That’s when I realized I should have posted this earlier to clear up any confusion.

 Her current state is actually related to a monster headcannon I have that was broadened from some info I squeezed out of Gerson in the game. When a monster Soul is conceived, it appears as a tiny scrap of sentient magic that usually draws in the magic of its parents to develop wholly. It’s called a Soulling, a baby soul of sorts and it doesn’t finish its development until the vessel or the monster turns three. It should also be noted that for the complete development of a Soul, both the parents must be present to supply their magic.

(this guy, the crazy turtle) 

After the Soul has developed from a tiny scarp or shard into a whole inverted white heart, it still draws in their parent’s magic, this time to reach MAGICAL maturity, achieved when the vessel turns thirteen and is able to fully harness and control their magic. In the case of BOSS monsters, they now lose their immortality at this stage and begin ageing slowly as their child grows.

 Monster children stop wearing stripes at this age to signify they are no longer magically incapable (Asriel having died at the age of 12 still wears his stripes) and their bodies may go through physical changes aside from sudden growth and emotional imbalances while their magic now tries to stabilize itself. For example, goat monsters on reaching the age of thirteen, start growing their horns. This phase is similar to human puberty and they usually train to control their magic if it’s strong enough to form bullet based attacks.

 After they turn eighteen to twenty, their magic settles down, they can walk around without accidentally manifesting arrows and swords that might just impale someone and have reached complete maturity. Around this time, they may age further but will stop maturing physically as in the case of Boss monsters.

 Which brings us to Freckles.

 I have left a few clues around about her past: She was once human, but had died (murdered?) and her Soul wound up in the void. Weird shit took place and when she was spat back into earth, she was a skeleton. Or rather, a skeleton MONSTER.

 Freckles is an adult by human standards and by appearance, she is one as a monster as well. But that’s where the line is drawn. Even with a fully developed Soul and body/vessel, she hasn’t really reached the point where her magic is stable just yet. It hasn’t developed properly which may explain why she isn’t able to use it.She still lacks the magical maturity to do so. In turn that may also affect her physical state since her Soul is now so fine-tuned with her body.

 And then add in the fact that she is not used to this new vessel or Soul; waking up in the body of a skeleton when you instinctively know you were once human and still have the reflexes and muscle memory of one can turn out pretty stressful; once again an emotion that may be affecting her in some way. While her ability to use magic may be unclear after her Soul stabilizes, she will strengthen up and her stats will improve. So no, she isn’t dying.

 Her situation may be similar to that of Royal Pain from Disney’s Sky High, she has the mindset and instinctive experience along with the body of an adult, but while her Soul is developed, her magic is still going through puberty. She’ll be more sensitive to powerful emotions exhibited from other monsters (explaining why she finds Edge, Blue and Papyrus’ enthusiasm and boisterous behavior so overwhelming) and will have lapses of emotional stability, though while not showing the regular way (laughing, crying etc) may end up with her down with a minor flu.

 Which really, really sucks.

 As much as I love her, I’m really glad I’m not in her place. Puberty is painful.

  _________________________________

 If you guys have any more questions to ask me, feel free to drop by at my Chat box and give me a callout.

[lucky-dreamfisher]

According to MatPat: The characters who don't melt after dying have souls in them. It is clear that Sammy has a soul inside of him. However, what I said earlier about MatPat's claim; if Sammy does have a soul inside of him... then how come he dissolves after being killed by Bendy in the post-credit scene from Chapter 2 and later again in Chapter 5 after being killed by tom? (Also please note that I'm still learning grammar. So what I say might not be spelled correctly.)

MatPat also pointed out that the game is very noisy, and I agree with that. It’s hard to tell which details are intended to be clues, and which ones are not. And that’s not even mentioning all of the intentional red herrings that the devs planted in the game - such as literally every clue, up until the very end, pointing towards the Ink Demon being Joey Drew.

Who knows? Maybe “Sammy” is merely a persona adopted by a soulles ink creature? Maybe Allison and Tom are lying about being unable to touch ink? Or maybe different types of ink creatures have varying levels of ink resistance?

The Bucher Gang dies from standing in Bendy’s inky aura, but their travel routes in Chapter 3 include areas completely flooded in ink. Allison and Tom claim to be unable to wade through ink, but they have no trouble withstanding Bendy’s aura. Susie is terrified to touch a Piper’s “tainted ink”, yet she uses thick ink from a Fisher as a beauty product. Boris fearlessly steps into a room full of ink, and he doesn’t seem hurt by Bendy’s aura either, yet his body dissolves in the end. All of this is very confusing!

MatPat chose a set of details that he believes make for a compelling evidence for his theory, and he considers all evidence to the contrary a possible red herring/coincidence. Which is fair!

But personally, I have an alternate explanation for what causes some ink creatures to disappear after death, and some others to remain. The major difference between my theory and MatPat’s, is that I believe that the two details - resistance to ink, and what happens to the body after death - are not related to one another.

I noticed that all ink creatures, whose bodies remain after death, had some kind of damage done to their hearts, or had them removed entirely.

Alice was stabbed through the chest, Borises and the Butcher Gang had their hearts ripped out, the Projectionist had his heart either replaced by or encased in the speaker. There’s even a floating ink heart close to the dead Chester by the entrance to the giant ink machine.

Of course, Brute Boris had his heart removed by Alice. However, if you look inside his open chest cavity, you’ll notice that she stuffed him full of the Butcher Gang hearts we collected for her earlier, so technically, he still had a heart at the time of his death.

If we assume that heart==soul, then my conclusion is opposite to that of MatPat - the soul is what allows the ink creatures to die, and then be reborn again from the “inky womb”, as Susie put it. Once a soul’s been removed, all that is left is an empty husk.

As for what makes some ink creatures more resistant to ink than others… welp

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Maybe it depends on the type of ink they were made of?

[mittensmorgul]

HECK there’s so much in 1.06 I still find fascinating. In its own way, there’s even the aspect of the “truth spell” to it, when the shapeshifter takes on Dean’s form and talks to Sam about Dean’s state of mind and thoughts, and the entire episode revolves around Sam’s “normal life” past through his college friend Becky.

Big themes: lying and telling the truth (both to each other AND to the general public about what they do and the reality of monsters), identity (and the things they keep hidden from each other, which have focused on Sam in 1.05 but now get a spotlight on Dean’s internal headspace via the shapeshifter).

They show up lying, drawn into the case by Sam’s connection to her and the mysterious circumstances of her brother’s murder charge-- he was supposedly two places at once and had an alibi. Sam talks Dean into detouring to help her, and everything goes almost immediately sideways. Sam has history with Becky, which is effectively a history of lying about his entire life.

He almost immediately lies to Becky that Dean’s a police officer, forcing Dean to go with it to gain access to the crime scene, because Sam doesn’t want to tell Becky what they actually suspect. He desperately wants to keep the “civilian” side of his life untainted by the supernatural. He wants to protect Becky from learning the truth. Ironically that ends up hurting them all in the end, and they still can’t protect her from either the monster or from learning the truth-- Sam’s family hunts monsters, and the monsters are real. This little bit of unrealistic sanctuary Sam had found with his friends at Stanford has been corrupted yet again. It’s an ongoing case of “this is why we can’t have nice things.” He can’t even think back on that life he lived under false pretenses with the same “purity” anymore, you know? Can’t unring that bell now.

Yeah, Jess dying the way she did (and that guilt is STILL weighing upon him unvoiced to Dean yet) kinda wrecked the possibility of going back to that life for him, but the truth of it, the truth of the rest of his life and the monsters had still been contained. The rest of his friends were still “unpoisoned” by this knowledge and would still welcome him as the friend they’d known for four years at college. The fact Sam kept in touch with all of them via email had served as a sort of lifeline for him, an anchor to the “normal life” he’d tried to build for himself where he could pretend the monsters weren’t real.

And then he’s confronted by a literal monster wearing Dean’s face. Everything the shapeshifter taunts him with here is a fascinating early case study in Dean. Wearing a literal false face, it reveals an awful lot about Dean-- from the fact he was jealous of Sam for getting out and going to college while he was stuck in the hunting life to what he personally gave up to make sure Sam even had that chance in the first place. This is also the source of the “everyone eventually leaves me” agonizing facet of Dean’s personality:

Shapeshifter Dean: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. Sam: What are you talkin’ about? Shapeshifter Dean: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens.

There’s a reason this shows up in so many fanfics, you know? It explains his cavalier attitude about relationships, flirting-- all of it. He puts on the mask, no chick flick moments, and he can be the guy who always leaves at the end of the night or the end of the case (which we learn in another 7 episodes has additional painful rationale after we learn about how Cassie broke things off with him... what IS it with this show and episodes that invoke “college” as a symbol of freedom and normalcy? I say while 1.07 runs in the background, set at a college...). But Dean has accepted that his life is what it is. For one reason or another-- be it the nomadic lifestyle of hunting going from case to case, or just having to hide the truth of his entire life from a disbelieving public-- he’s isolated and in self-defense he wears this mask of the happy-go-lucky ladies’ man and macho BAMF. He’s accepted that normal life can never be his life, and this is the way he deals with it without getting hurt.

Ironically, it’s the very fact that Sam had been trying to keep these two sides of his life separate, untouched by one another, that “got Dean killed” here...  Secrecy may have been the expected reaction for him and Dean in their investigations, but Becky reacted like a “normal person” and disclosed everything to her lawyers.

REBECCA: I told the lawyers that we went to the crime scene. (SAM scoffs.) SAM: Why would you do that? REBECCA: Well, I told them that we were with a police officer. And they checked it out, and they told me that there is no Detective Dean Winchester. SAM: Bec— REBECCA: No, I don’t understand why you would lie to me about something like that. SAM: We’re tryin’ to help. REBECCA: Oh, trying to help? Do you realize that that was a sealed crime scene? This could have just ruined Zack’s case. SAM: Bec, I’m sorry, but— REBECCA: No, goodbye, Sam.

This leaves Becky unprepared when the shapeshifter shows up at her house looking like Dean... and uses that to gain her trust while also telling her about the monster, about what Sam had actually been investigating. And it also leaves Sam entirely unprepared for what he finds when he actually goes himself to Becky’s house to attempt to explain the truth to her. She’s already been replaced by the shapeshifter, and the moment he DOES explain the truth of the monster, she clocks him. And then Dean is forced to kill the shifter while it looks just like him... talk about an unsettling experience, but also a really freaky mirror situation, killing a mutant version of oneself. D:

But this is also Sam effectively severing his connections to the last hope of being able to go back to his life at Stanford as if nothing happened. He’s burned a bridge. And while Becky does her best to understand, for Sam, a large part of the idealization of that life as somehow “normal” has been forever shattered. He can’t pretend to be just another guy anymore.

REBECCA: So, this is what you do? You and your brother—you hunt down these kinds of things? SAM: Yeah, pretty much. REBECCA: I can’t believe it. I mean, I saw it with my own eyes. And, I mean, does everybody at school—nobody knows that you do this? SAM: No. REBECCA: Did Jessica know? (SAM looks thoughtful.) SAM: No, she didn’t. REBECCA: Must be lonely. SAM: Oh, no. No, it’s not so bad. Anyway, what can I do? It’s my family.

Must be lonely... and that’s it right there. That’s what Dean/Shapeshifter Dean had said as well. But Sam doesn’t really get it yet. He spent years with his friends at Stanford and none of them ever knew this HUGE aspect of his entire life before. Not even the woman he lived with and considered marrying and spending the rest of his life with. Sure sounds lonely to me, having to cut out so much of himself to pretend like that... and this is one of Sam’s ongoing major themes for a very long time to come-- through his soullness and shattering of self after his wall is broken, to the promise he extracts from Dean to go live that apple pie life after 5.22, to running away with Amelia and abandoning hunting yet again while never actually talking about the truth of any of it. At least Dean had Lisa, who was at least aware of the hunting and the monsters (though that didn’t help her much in the end... it did make for a situation where Dean could actually recover from his trauma without having to lie or hide huge portions of the truth from her, which is something Sam never even allowed himself to consider until the whole “something, with someone in the life” speech in 11.04).

And these themes continue over the next two episodes. Sam’s impression of going to college as his shot at freedom and normalcy, a chance to choose his own future for himself, while that illusion slowly shatters.

His conversations with Lori about how going to college got her out of her father’s home, gave her a chance to try new things in her own life, while literally carrying the baggage of her father’s beliefs of morality around her neck, “punishing” her every time she tries to step out from under his rules. The fact her father has defied the moral code he’d always taught to her-- having an affair with a married woman-- crushes her own faith in herself and her long-standing beliefs. It’s only by uncovering and destroying the symbol of that baggage that she’s able to free herself from it.

Makes it kind of ironic when in 1.08, Sam’s the one who earns the “not a liar” tag:

DEAN We're students from the university. JOE No, you're not. You're lying. DEAN seems taken aback. DEAN Well, truth is JOE You know who starts sentence with "truth is"? Liars. DEAN exchanges a look with SAM. SAM Have you heard of Oasis Plains? It's a housing development near the Atoka Valley. JOE (to Dean) I like him. He's not a liar. (DEAN looks angry.) I know the area.

Back to 1.07 for a moment, because Dean finally gets the chance to pretend, to live a bit of the college experience vicariously, and in true Dean chameleon style, he fits himself right in, makes himself at home in the frat house, even while Sam remains uncomfortably on the fringes and only really engages when Dean leaves him no other choice-- leaving it to him to paint the purple guy while they talk, dragging him to the party while Sam confesses that he didn’t really enjoy parties while he was at Stanford (which we saw in the pilot episode how even while he was there pretending to be normal, he still didn’t really let himself have that full experience and tried to keep the wall up at the halloween party). But for Dean, this is just one more experience to throw himself into with a casual lie about who he is and why he’s there, knowing full well that they’ll move on to another case, another town, another persona for him to adopt for the next case. Sam just... has trouble packing away parts of himself like this and truly letting himself be the chameleon Dean’s mastered. Not that this is healthy for Dean, either, but it’s how he’s learned to cope with his entire life.

And this “college as freedom” theme strikes again in 1.08, from several angles, telling Matt that things will get better between him and his father, and explaining to Dean as they talk about how different their experiences with their father were-- Sam feeling like the “freak” of the family for wanting to get out and live a normal life, despite possibly being the one person in their family who was already incapable of it (because hey, demon blood! psychic powers! even if we don’t know this yet, it’s painfully ironic when we’re eventually given that context).

SAM Matt, just listen. You have to get your family out of that house right now, okay? MATT What, why? SAM Because something's coming. MATT More bugs? SAM Yeah, a lot more. MATT My dad doesn't listen in the best of circumstances, what am I supposed to tell him? SAM You've gotta make him listen, okay? DEAN Give me the phone, give me the phone. (He grabs the phone from SAM.) Matt, under no circumstances are you to tell the truth, they'll just think you're nuts. MATT But he's my DEAN Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you've gotta go to the hospital, okay? MATT Yeah. Yeah, okay. He hangs up, and so does DEAN. DEAN Make him listen? What are you thinkin'?

Matt, of course, tries to tell his father the truth, and it nearly gets everyone killed, because of course his father doesn’t believe him. After the night they have, his father will be convinced and their lives will all be changed forever. There’s no going back once they know the truth.

And all of this still through the lens connecting them to the still murky mytharc, finding their father and learning the truth, uncovering and unraveling the mystery that drew them into this life in the first place. And this is still just level one of that grand tangle of cosmic deceptions that will lead them through the next 14 years to the end of their ultimate quest for the truth, and the unraveling of their fate so their final battle can be for their own freedom and free will from this eternal cosmic game. :’)

[sheepfish03]

I'll call this one "i wanted to make a comic but i dont have motivation or a long enough attention span so i wrote a fic instead"

So remember my tempink kid Bao? The soulles one who borrows emotions by taking pictures? I decided to write her first time experiencing emotions since i just can't do comics right now.

A summary at the end because i'm not very confident in my storytelling in this one :/

Template belongs to @unu-nunium

Ink to @comyet

And Bao to me, @sheepfish03

(Hey, psst @tempinksailblog )

________________

"Yay! This is just what i wanted! Thanks dad, thans father!" Bao exclaimed after opening her gift.

A wide smile decorated Template's face as he watched his daughters 'joyful' expression. "You really liked those photos we saw at that one au we took you to that one time, so i tought that maybe you would be interested in photography!" He said triumphantly, his hands doing some weird wawy stuff.

"Oh yeah definitely!" Bao said as she proceeded to take the camera out of it's box. Faking a smile as wide as she can, she took the polaroid onto her hands and felt a tiny pressure on her soul's empty shell, however the feeling disappeared so quickly she barely noticed it.

She looked at the camera fron every possible angle. And came to the conclusion that she liked it and that she most definitely was going to use it a lot.

"Oooh~ it's pretty! I guess you turn it on by doing this?" She said turning the camera on. " Haha i was right! Father say cheese!"

Ink gave his daughter a gentle smile as she pointed the camera at him. The picture got taken and Bao grabbed it the second it got printed out.

"Haha wow the lighting sucked!" She laughed as she showed the photograph to her dad. Template looked at it and patted her on the head.

"Don't worry i'm sure you'll get very good at this someday."

Ink started coughing and puked a puddle of... ink to the floor. "Oh wow... they weren't supposed to run out so soon." He said getting up.

"Didn't you just drink some just a moment ago?" Bao said as she ran to the kitchen, to get some cleaning supplies.

"I did... i think? But it's not a big deal i'll just take some more real quick." With that he walked into the puddle and disappeared.

Some noise was heard from upstairs.

"How long till his vials will run out?" Bao asked as she wiped the ink off the ground.

"Not long..."

"..."

"But anyway, now that you have this camera you'll have a hobby! And having a hobby means having something to do for that little while!" Template said care in his eyes.

Bao nodded and wiped the floor clean. Both her and Template listened the sound of something, most likely the bedside table, getting punched and a loud over exaggerated yell from Ink. For a moment it was silent and then it sounded like Ink jumped up and down couple of times and after that it was clear he started making his way back.

He ran the stairs down, skipping last two steps. "Holy moly, Bao i know what we should do!" His grin made him look almost insane and the beaming happiness was kind of unsettling considering it was ink after all. "We can go out to some pretty AU's. Me an daddy can do some 'AU guarding stuff' while you can learn to use that camera and take some pretty pictures!"

Template looked at Bao who seemed to be into that idea and sighed. "Very well then. But i wanna stop by snowdin in #340055 so we'll need to put some warm clothes on."

Both of the soulles dorks in the house yelled "yay" and ran off in search for some warm clothes.

After a couple of universes Ink got bored of pulling the gang to anywhere but universe #340055 so he finally brought them there.

Template made a remark on how the universe had experienced a reset recently and that they should watch out for the fallen human.

To that Ink said something about something and then they had a playfull fight or something? Bao wasn't really paying attention. The two stopped arguing as Ink pulled Template's scarf bringing him in for a kiss.

Bao didn't see that tough. She was already walking off in search for a place to take pictures in.

She figured that the door to the ruins was pretty enough for some photos to be taken. She took a moment to remind herself where exactly she needed to go. And then she started running towards the correct direction.

"That did not go as i planned." She tought to herself, up in a tree hiding from Papyrus #340055. You see Ink and Template had told her to stay out of the sight of anyone because apparently talking to the locals of any AU was forbidden for outcodes. Bao tought that was dumb, since both of his parents were good friends with Sans who belonged to US #420087 but she didn't complain because rules were rules and it wasn't like she wanted to talk to this papyrus anyways.

Number 340055 seemed to be practicing some of his attacks. He trhew bones at the surrounding trees and funnily enough he was mimicing some weird anime poses in between attacks. "He seems photogenic enough." Bao tought as she carefully took out her camera and pointed it at Paps.

Unfortunately she had left the flash on and it seemed like 340055 had noticed her so she took a tiny shortcut and ran back to where she came from.

She ran between some trees, Jumped across a small river, ran even more and as she slowed down to look back, she tripped on a rock. "SHIT!" She yells in surprise and falls to the ground.

Her spine hurts but otherwise she is fine. The camera seems to be okay too. A shame that the picture of #340055 got torn apart, were the colors supposed to bleed out.

Bao stands up and immediately feels like falling back.

Something in her feels weird

Feels out of place...

Feels...

...

Feels!

She pics up her bag and reaches to grab the picture, when she touches it however she feels a jolt of electricity run across her body and before she can react to that the colors on it leak out and into her sleeves. She feels them going all the way and stopping in her ribcage.

Suddenly she feels as if the feeling she just felt got stronger and stronger. For a moment she's even unable to breathe.

And then it calms down.

She can still feel this feeling she can't really recognize, but now it no longer burns her bones, nor does it hurt her brain or make her soul ache, neither does she feel like screaming.

Her body shaking and her head confused she stands straight up and leaves.

Her fathers are probably making out publicly again and that's not going to end well for Sans 340055 if they get seen. She thinks to herself.

_________________

Okay brief short explanation on how exactly Bao gets her emotions from pictures of people.

Fist off, when she got the camera some weird stuff happened and her empty soul (which btw is just that, a see trhough shell of a soul) got attached to it (?).

Then whenever she takes a picture of someone with that camera, that someone loses their ability to feel anything for a time ranging from little less than hour to little over three hours, depending on how strong their emotion was.

The emotion gets stored inside the picture somehow and if that picure gets torn or cut it'll bleed it's colors out and the colors will go to Bao's empty soul and let her feel the feeling stored in the picture.

(Does that even make sense lol)

[shadowhunterdownworlderhybrid]

It Wasn't Your Fault

Summary: A few months back Dean lost his sight from a hunt gone wrong, Sam has been feeling guilty ever since, he thought it was his fault

Dean was sleeping soundly on his bed his breathing steady and calm as his younger brother watched him in aw  "Sam I could feel you starring" the older Winchester growled sleeply "Heh Sorry....." No he wasn't

"Sa--" , "Open your eyes" Sam interrupted softly, Dean was hesitant his face scrunched into an uncomfortable expression but soon enough Dean just Sighed. Dean slowly opened his eyes only to see nothing but an outline of his baby brother

Sam smiled sadly at the eyes that were once an beautiful light green, now covered with light grey clouds you could barely see the green that were hidden behind them "Sam?" Dean question worried if Sam blaming himself again Sam just sighs running his fingers through his hair "Don't" Dean spoke "Dean-", "Sammy, Don't" Dean warned. Sam just sighs again laying on his back his head resting on his pillow "Sam" Dean said softly, Sam didn't respond he just looked away

The bed shift a bit but Sam just ignored it

A soft pair of lips ghost over Sam neck then Sam ear a soft kiss was left there "It wasn't your fault baby brother" Dean whispered in to Sam ear which caused the younger Wincester to become tense

"But--" Dean nuzzles into Sam neck "no buts, it wasn't your fault. Okay?"

Sam let's out a soft sigh of defeat "alright" he mumbled

"Good" Dean leaves a lingering kiss on Sam's lips, Sam didn't get the chance to react when he did. "Go back to sleep Sammy" Dean said softly laying back onto his pillow

As soon as he did he was out, Sam let's out a soft sigh laying correctly falling back to sleep

Sam Dreamd, he dreamed that Dean still had his sight, that the hunt didn't go wrong that everything was fine, that the light that were in Dean's eyes weren't clouded by grey

'I should have payed more attention'

'I should've went alone'

'I fucked up'

These were the thoughts that haunted Sam these horrible thoughts, the horrible memory of how Dean lost his sight the painful scream Dean covering his eyes

The thoughts started to haunt him in his dreams, it made him terrified to be near his brother

Soon Sam dream changed

It changed to the horrible day, Dean was flung across the where house soon hitting the floor. Sam screaming his name bounce off the walls as he raced to Dean side, he was grunting trying not to let out the screams of pure agony,he was covering his eyes just like when it happened Sam didn't know what to do he still doesn't even in his dreams

Soon Dean sat up which scared Sam for a second, Dean grabbed onto Sam shirt hard gripping it opening his eye only for Sam to meet with empty sockets, Sam eyes widen. There was absolutely nothing in them, Dean face twisted into an anger expression. "this is your fault" he said low at first, Sam heart did a harsh twist  "Dean I--"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU MADE ME LOSE MY SIGHT" Dean Screamed causing Sam eyes to overwhelm with tears "I-Im s-sorry i-i--" "your sorry?" Dean said bitterly Sam flinch at the tone "Your Sorry?, YOU BEING SORRY ISN'T GONNA GET MY EYES BACK SAM!" Dean screamed, tears ran down Sam face closing his eyes wanting this to be over

"Your a screw up Sam, you always have been" a voice said Sam opened his eyes only to meet with an empty where house "Sam" the voice said, Sam turned around only to meet with himself the only difference were the eyes they were soulless and empty

"It's your fault" he taunted

Sam nose flared closing his eyes tight

"You always find a way to fuck up your brother huh?, Let him down?, Make him lose the trust he has for you?, Betray him??"

"Ditched him for Ruby even though he didn't trust her?" , "The demon blood remember that Sammy"

Sam body tensed up a bit as he didn't say a word

"Ditched him for the normal life , left him alone with your abusive father, you do know he beat the crap out of Dean for him letting you go to Standford right?, He was wearing his military boots so those really left brusies" he kept going. Sam clenched his fist "stop"Sam said between gritted teeth "why Sammy?, can't handle the truth?" Sam heart began to beat fast as tears burned down his cheeks

"I SAID SHUT UP!!" Sam screamed sitting up on the bed that he shares with Dean

His forehead drenched in sweat his body tense , tears rolling down his cheeks, heavily breathing his heart pounding

"Sammy....." Sam looks over Dean gives him a sweet smile "it wasn't your fault alright.... Come on, let's go take a shower."

[yastaghr]

Sansgoriel Week

Day 6: Fanchildren and Happiness

(Note for Our Skeleton readers: this is very far in the future, but still in the same world)

Toriel, unable to stand watching her smallest datemate push his breakfast omelette pieces around his plate any longer, cautiously said, “Sans, you must eat something. It is not good for you to try to go about your day with nothing in your stomach.”

Sans chuckled weakly at her, as though something were getting in the way of his ability to see the humor in any situation.

“dunno if I've got the guts to tell you this, tori, but i don't have a stomach, for the food or otherwise. everything I try to keep down just comes back up.”

She frowned and asked, “How long has this been bothering you, Sans?”

He shrugged. “three days maybe. it's probably a bug. I've been drinking a lot to try and flush it out.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, ignoring his minute wince, “Any fever?”

“not that I've noticed. no body aches aside from the usual, and my magic has been doing just fine.”

“Would you mind awfully if I gave you a check up? I would not like to trouble Dr. Alphys at the moment, not with her clutch in the state it's in.”

“that's fine tori. couch?”

Instead of answering, Toriel simply walked over to his side of the table and set her paw just to the left of his sternum. A pale blue glow followed. It grew slowly stronger until his soul appeared.

Even Sans could see the problem. It wasn't the hairline cracks still healing from his childhood. It wasn’t the coloration, which he’d had ever since Gaster’s time machine blew up. No, the problem was a lot smaller than that. Two problems, actually, one orange, one blue. Guess heredity really did show up in soullings.

When the ringing in Sans’ head finally faded out, he opened his mouth to speak-

-and closed it. His brow bones tilted. Did he teleport in the adrenaline rush of seeing his- their new children? No, he was still in their kitchen, at the slightly glittery table that had housed so many school projects. Where was Tori?

Sans walked around the table and stopped when his slipper nudged something soft in a place where no soft something should be sitting. He looked down. His softest smile greatest the sight of Toriel passed out on the floor.

He took off his house coat and laid it over her, then set off to get a bowl of water and towel from the sink.