#MY SOULL LEFT

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

Sooo it's been about 2 weeks since I had to drop out of the big bang - I'm past the upset enough to actually look at my doc again finally. Buut before I go ahead and start writing again, kinda need to know if anyone would actually read this fic? (now I've lost the extra exposure a bb brings).

I really, really love this fic and I probably will finish it eventually either way but it would be nice to know if I have an incentive to do it sooner rather than later! (I need the push after have had the wind knocked out of me by the whole situation). I am approx 50% done with the first draft at the moment.

So since this was going to be a big bang, upfront this is going to be a multi chapter fic (I plan to post all chapters at once though) - current outline is 5 chapters total of around 15-16 K - I think that's unlikely to change too much.

Basic idea is that it's a case fic but told from two alternating POVs and at different points in time. One POV is Soulless Sam (between S5-6 so before he reunites with Dean), and the other is S7 Sam who is being tormented by Hallucifer (set in the week where Sam left Dean after finding out about Amy).

Soulless Sam is solving the initial case where several children have gone missing from their houses late at night after hearing a strange woman's voice for a week before their disappearances.

S7 Sam returns to the town after one of the children goes missing again in similar circumstances over a year later. Whilst Sam is investigating the case he starts to feel an additional presence in his mind other than Lucifer.

A lot of it is about exploring Soulless Sam through his own perception of himself, how that interacts and conflicts with how the show presents him and his "soulled" Sam thinks about him. As well as exploring differences in the way Sam's brain has compartmentalised/dealt with his memories of being soulless vs his memories of hell.

There will be some degree of 'interaction' between Souled and Soulless Sam but don't want to spoil how/what.

Also this whole thing is indulging my desire for Supernatural to have had an episode set in/around marsh/bog so lots of that lol.

[camellcat]

I'm tryna think back on who I shipped during my first casual watch of the show, and I feel like I got shit all backwards lmao

I mean I started off with coffy. cordelia was literally introduced and I was GONE I have zero explanation to give you I just. I don't know man. they just clicked in my head. I'll tell you I didn't let go of them until cordelia left and I realized they were never gonna do more with her character on that show. she should've been a proper scooby man she bit a vampire I feel like she deserved to be one of them instead of constantly on the sidelines. it made me very sad. her and buffy could've been SO good

getting more realistic to me, I enjoyed bander. tbh I didn't REALLY want them together but something about them always seemed like it could've been really fucking sweet if xander ever chilled the hell out. he's her buddy, y'know? her partner in crime. he'd follow her anywhere even if he gives her a hard time about it. and she deserves someone she can be silly with. they r best friends!!!! once I hit s7 though? y'all oh my GAWD bander bander ily ILY BANDER

bandillow is the reason I couldn't fully enjoy bander on their own, bc it would've felt terribly wrong without willow as well. I was shipping these three HARD and keeping to myself. didn't post about them didn't talk about them, but I wanted them so so soooo badly. I wanted them all together so very badly. I think I robot you jane was the catalyst for this and my love for bandillow only grew stronger the longer I was watching the show. I wanted them to be endgame even if I knew they wouldn't be

bangel was... oddly didn't care one way or the other? they were okay. I rooted for them bc the show wanted me to and I wanted to be into the vampire romance, and they definitely had their moments that had me liking them, but for the most part? ehhhh. liked them cause they were there. honestly I enjoyed watching angel with willow more than him with buffy, but that never turned into full fledged shipping. I'll also admit I missed them FIERCELY when angel was gone and replaced with riley however. at least bangel was entertaining

ohhhh, and here come my loves from s2. my loves my loves my loves. sprusillaaaaaaa. they came on screen and I was HOOKED I was so fucking hooked holy shit. I was in the background watching buffy beforehand. I was paying attention but I was also playing mahjong and bubble shooter with enough concentration I was missing shit. I did not miss shit when these two came on screen. I adored them I ADORE them. fucking fantastic these two

now, you'll be expecting me to say spuffy, right? WRONG it was DRUFFY BUFFSILLA WHATEVER I didn't care about SPIKE drusilla and buffy were sharing dreams!?!? they're parallels of each other as angel's marks, one soulled the other not!?!? they share the same birthday!??!?! I still don't know if the dream sharing thing is an entirely accurate way to put it but holy jesus I wanted them to interact SO badly you don't even know. you don't even knowwww. my favourite daydreams to indulge in are about these two still even after finishing the show. I needed themmmm I need them to interact more!!!!!!!!

willoz!! willoz you r so wonderful!! I really liked these two oz charmed me greatly and I want my best friend willow to be happy. they're very sweet to me. I wish they could've made it work damn the both of them for cheating on each other

fuffy. hmm. thing is, I DID ship them, but I never ever wanted them in a serious relationship. I enjoyed them having fun together as an idea, and even before I went into the fandom online I fully believed they were going to and should've kissed in enemies. I shrieked when they didn't I was so shocked it didn't happen. I liked their dynamic, and I REALLY wanted more from them. pairing them as a couple just seemed the obvious way for that I suppose since they made sense to me if that had happened

tillow! now THIS was interesting to me. I kept thinking like no WAY they're gonna since they didn't with fuffy y'know? I thought I was going crazy watching these two bc whaaaat??? what is going on???? are they really...? they don't got the guts! and then they had the guts!!!!! tillow become canon!!!!!!! I was SO excited omg I love these two. I love them so much. especially once we get to s5 they love each other so much oughhh fucking hate s6

alright we hit s5 and I'm finally on the spuffy train. I see it I get it I'm HERE. I think slowly falling with spike helped me enjoy this ship perhaps more than any of the others, barring bandillow. definitely helped that spuffy are my favourite characters after all. like ofc I wanna see them as much as possible. and hey I'm a sucker for a bad guy who's in love with the heroine. fucking classic that is. these two quickly became my favourite pairing

spuffsilla..... spuffsilla....... now that I'm into spike as well, this was just like the obvious way to go. duh. hello crush you insane episode. I think druffy should've laughed at him and buffy realizes she doesn't despise dru actually. I think dru should've stuck around bc it's her sweet spike and he clearly needs help winning the affection of this bright slayer. I think buffy should've been annoyed at another vampire but makes spike promise to watch her or she'll stake them both. I think dru should've started craving buffy's warmth just as bad as spike and buffy slowly let both of them in as they help her simply live through all the shit she's gotta deal with. I think—

interestingly, s5 is also when I started really falling in love with wuffy. I'd lost most of my care in bander sometime around s3, and while I was still captain of my bandillow ship, wuffy alone really began to appeal to me. ESPECIALLY once we hit the weight of the world. I think it's incredibly important that it's willow who brought buffy back and it sparked an obsession with wuffy in me that's yet to burn even the slightest bit dimmer

also fancied a bit of tara/spike/buffy if I'm being honest. I get tara's a lesbian but they're also all fictional characters who I am able to do whatever I want with, and I like THESE three. very very much. they make me so soft make me melt. I want only good things for them I think they'd all be incredibly good together and good for each other

I took a break between s5 and s6, in where I fell deeply in love with anya, so if you're curious as to why NO anya ships have been mentioned thus far, there you go. to rectify this, coming into s6, I fucking ADORED xanya ohhhh my goddddd xanyaaaaaa. s6 was not a good time to get so attached to them. what a miserable experience. xanya was never going to be healthy if they went the way they were going, but NOOOOO MY XANYA HOW COULD THEY SPLIT YOU UP LIKE THAT?! like THAT??? s7 was no better s7 was fucking CRUEL to me. teased me with xanya crumbs only for her to get goddamned sliced. fucked up

off the top of my head that's my entire journey since it's not like I ever wrote any of this down before. I stopped liking anything new after xanya and mostly just focused in on spuffy hardcore. I'm not into anything particularly out there and while I have rare pairs they're not like THAT rare I don't think. I mostly go with what is shown to me on screen. I just feel like the when and the level of enjoyment with some of these ships is so random compared to how I think I SHOULD'VE been with them

[bonersniper]

Opinions on spanking?

If that is your thing then cool, but really not my thing. Some light to medium taps sure but I don't really like the full onnred ass beating stuff.

I've wanted to get slapped a few times but none of the guys I've dated have been down to try, they're all too gentle soulled and are afraid of hurting me. Though I did see the Popular Guy at an orgy get slapped without consent or expectation and it was a huge boner killer and he left so now I have weird connotations with it!

[23swife]

silence in the city

pairing; sam x reader/ dean x reader summary; you’re going through a rough patch with your boyfriend, Sam, and dean is there for you. where does that leave your relationship with the boys? tags; angst, suggestive, mentions of rape, mentions of soulles sam.

We’re on the couch with one of Dean’s ‘underrated’ movies playing. He already left with a quiet ‘goodnight’ a few minutes ago so when I look over at Sam to see him already watching me, I’m not surprised. And then I lean in, claiming his lips on mine and he doesn’t seem to mind so I do it harder, pulling him closer, and he leans down a little more so he doesn’t strain his neck then he pulls away and I whine at the loss of contact.

“You sure?” Sam asks and I smile at him, nodding. He’s sweet like that. We’ve waited at least two years but he still doesn’t mind waiting more. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, we don’t have to rush.”

“Maybe we don’t have to go all the way today, just a little. Just… kiss me, Sam.” He does and I reciprocate desperately. We didn’t talk much about safe words but before he lost his soul our main ones were ‘red’ and ‘green’, so we both assume it’s the same ones now. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groans when I flip us over so I’m on his lap now. I move against him, pushing our bodies closer (if that’s possible), but still through our clothes. I don’t know how much I want to let Sam see today but I don’t reckon it’s a lot, so this will have to do.

His hands instinctively find my hips but I quickly push them off, holding them down onto the couch and moving a little faster, rougher, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. “Sammy…”

“Baby, can I kiss you?” I take a second to process his words before quickly picking my head up and leaning in, he connects our lips and his tongue slides over my bottom one, licking and waiting for an invitation. I grant it to him, removing my hands from their grip on his wrists so I can ground myself on his shoulders. 

Fuck. We haven’t even touched each other in so long it’s embarrassing how fast I’m going to come. Sam pulls away for a second to speak, “Hey, fuck, you need to slow down, sweetheart, won’t last like this.”

“Glad I’m not the only one.” I let out a laugh but I don’t think he finds it as funny because his hands try to find my hips again but I quickly hold them in place on my thigh. “Okay, yeah.” I slow down my rhythm to basically nothing but we’re both still breathing heavily and into the other’s neck. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam asks out of nowhere and I frown, still grinding on him softly, still panting, still out of breath and shaking and wet, “Talk to me.”

“What— shit— what do you mean?”

“Your hands. Are you scared? Sweetheart, Stop for a second.” I want to stop to listen to this riveting conversation about how much of a coward I am but I couldn’t even if he begged me to because I am just so so so close.

“Hey!” His hands fly to my waist and I freeze immediately, slapping both hands away with much more force this time.

“Stop it, Sam! Don’t touch my waist again, please.” My voice is all but inviting for any type of negotiation and he doesn’t looks like he wants to anyways, putting both of them up in defeat but staring right into my eyes

“What’s wrong? Why?”

“‘Cause…” I say as if that’s all the reason in the world and try to get off of him but he quickly shakes his head, evidently struggling to keep his hands to himself. I stay planted on his half-hard on.

“Can you just… can you not run away from this? Can we talk about it instead of forcing it?” 

“No, I don’t want to.” And I do get off of him this time, leaning back into the couch. Now I’m wet and angry. Great, that’s just awesome.

“If you spent half as much time talking to me as you do avoiding it��”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t the one who was raped by your own fucking boyfriend so I hardly see how you’re an expert on the matter.” I can already feel the shocked expression and disappointment and hurt coming from him so I don’t bother looking, instead I stand up and walk to my room.

While walking back to my room I stopped by the kitchen to get some pills for the headache I know I’m going to get later and maybe some sleeping pills too. 

Then I see Dean. Dean Winchester who we all thought was dead asleep in his bed was actually eating cherry pie in the kitchen a few feet from me and Sam’s fucking and fighting.

“Dean? What’re you doing up?”

“I didn’t go to sleep. Y’all just looked like you wanted to be alone so I bailed.” I nod and walk over to the fridge. I’m not certain about what I’m looking for but I’ll know it when I find it. “By the way,” I hear from behind me, barely, and i just hum in acknowledgment as I scour and— yes! Cereal! I take the milk out and go to the cupboards for the cereal. 

Dean clears his throat, his mouth no longer full, “By the way, if you ever wanna talk, you know I’m here for you, right?”

I, honest to God, can’t think of one time in my entire life where Dean has said that to me and I’ve known the man for the better part of a decade. 

“Sure…” My words aren’t sure but I hope he doesn’t pick up on that because I don’t mean to offend him, we just haven’t always been friends. 

The first time I met Sam and Dean was on a hunt and neither of them trusted or liked me for the entirety of it. The fifth hunt we accidentally met on was when they finally let their guard down (to some extent) to see I was just an average hunter like they are. Though I hold nothing to the infamous Winchesters.

Even then, Dean was never my best friend. We never even spoke alone, mostly just when Sam was around. And even when I got with Sam a couple of months later, Dean had his doubts (which he made crystal clear) and kept a wall up ever so slightly. Only when I was ten months into dating Sam did Dean strike conversations when we were alone. We went on some hunts together without my boyfriend and we even texted sometimes. I think that was the biggest step to take with grandpa because man, does he hate to text.

There’s an exasperated breath then, “I’m serious.”

“Okay.” I nod once and assemble my bowl of lucky charms. Dean is a sweetheart, honestly, and attractive as hell, sure, but he’s also emotionally unavailable and extremely traumatized. Both of those qualities are ones I already handle with his brother, I don’t need a second Winchester to do take care of.

“I just mean that if you ever want to tell me anything about how you and Sam are doing—” Ah, there it is. The blatant need to protect Sam from everyone and everything. Not limited to those who love him, of course, because who could really ever love Sam more than his older brother?

“Sam’s fine, Dean.” 

“I don’t mean just him. What about you? Are you fine?”

“Yes— why are you doing this? Why are you asking about me?”

When I look up from the counter Dean’s no longer eating, just staring at me, as if willing me to make eye contact. “‘Cause, you’re family, you know that, right?” 

Family? Since when am I family? The most ‘family’ I’ve been to him is due to the fact that Sam fucks me occasionally and that I sleep in one of the many bedrooms in this shit hole. “Okay… thanks.”

“Fuck,” He rubs a hand over his mouth then gets up, walking over to me. He’s much closer now that I anticipated and I’m hardly doing anything to cover my hardened nipples or my too-low sweatpants that clearly show off my belly button piercing and white underwear straps.

“I can’t have you doubting that. I know I ain’t the best at this whole thing but you’ve always been family, ever since you helped with Cas—” that’s the second hunt we went on, “and then Charlie—” third hunt, “then you got with Sam and maybe I haven’t showed it but we do care about you. I care about you. I don’t just wanna know if Sammy’s okay, wanna know if you are too.”

I take a deep breath that maybe almost chokes me, “Yeah,” I don’t wanna cry in front of Dean. He’d just make fun of me, but I have so much to cry about it and I don’t know if I can hold it. “Yeah, Dean, I know.” Please God, don’t let my voice break. “I’m good, I’m okay. Thanks. I’m going— yeah, my room. I’m— okay, yeah, g’night.” 

And I’ve never run out of a room so fast.

part two

gonna post a part two later, not sure where I’m going with it though but this idea just popped into my head cause I love those two codependent freaks sm.

[veangeanceawaits]

The fires flames melt my icy nonexistent heart. The wax stick to my finger like bitter deception. Deception that I have a heart.

It burns me, such a clear liquid, such a love. Feel the warmth the fire gives me.

Feel the love that the burn gives us.

How come you left me?

How come I haven't come up with an answer.

How have I managed to become a soulles gear.

A gear in a neverending machine, that never stops, never misses.

How come we never leave?

[papairaart]

Just spent my entire day in the wordpress Block editor and there is nothing left of my soull

[ancha-aus]

Jumpscare!! >:D

And I am happy to keep talking :D

Nightmare who are this point just doens't care what others think anymore. He is secure and confident. People try to be rude about him being an heir? Nightmare hums and just smiling "No." what are they going to do? Go against their KING?! Yeah. that is what he thoguht to.

Nightmare saw what the kingdom was build upon. And decided it wasn't worth it. If the kingdom falls because he didn't continue the trend than the kingdom never deserved to exist. But now it is all going well!

Blue and Dream are in love and happy and you are so right! wiht them being put in charge of kids and their well beign? lets just say that dream VERY QUICKLY gets over the slight uncertainty with kids. Kids are honest and dream adores and lvoes them to bits! Blue does too!

It is honestly a matter of time before they are watching some kids run off and Dream just sighs "I want my own."

Blue nods "Same."

And they both jsut pause... and looka t each other... because they both know the other is VERY serious about this matter.

But the doubt! Dream is so excited but then rememebred all those old teachings nad habits and the fact that twins are a very big dela in his family. he is so afraid of losing Blue. Blue who means EVERYTHING to him. and lmao. Anxious parent Dream and Chill parent Blue. They will figure it out <3 And tigerlily (right?) will be a happy girl with loving parents. <3

Killer is terrified of accidentally ruining this kids childhood. his own was fucked up in many many many ways. But Killer makes do by just. reading SO MANY parent books. Ccino probably finds him in the library pretty often once they started to consider kids. Kiler just reading any childcare book he can get his hands on. Ccino helps him calm down that there is one thing he needs to keep in mind. That it is about the child being happy, healthy and feeling listened to. And Killer can do that. That is only like three things! He can Totally handle that! (he keeps stealing parent books to read. Probably wiht a cat or two nearby as he mutters nad asks them questions.) and poor Ccino is just so afraid. and Killer will have to hold him and hug him and make him feel safe about this situation. (becaus elets be real.Ccino hadn't felt truly safe for a long time. and even if he feels safe now there are still worries and fears plaguing him.) ((honestly how Ccino made it through everything as a well adjusted adult is a mystery.))

Very domestic Rottencorp <3 OR! hear me out! Crop moves closer to the castle! Instead of the large farm, which he left his brother and his borther's kids in charge off, he went to the castle to take care of the much smaller and easier to manage castle gardens. Horror, who is still a knight as you said as he is a knight for live, who isn't going on missions anymore stays with him in a small cute cottage on the castle grounds <3

This is when they both decide they are ready for their own child. and everyone is excited, including the many nephews and nieces!

Cross wouldn't have agreed to carry if he knew everyone was going to be so careful wiht him :/ He can totally handle stuff! Lust! This is unfair!!

Lust has no pitty for him. Lust wanted to carry that little soulling so Cross better be happy AND do as told to keep their little treasure safe and sound! and to make sure hehimself is fine and doesn't wear himself too thin!

hoenstly once Lust hears that cross was training Lust is going to drag him home and make him talk about what he was thinking. Lust learns a LOT about cross's old home and how unhealthy stuff was there. Lust gets more gentle and gently describes why you need to be careful and take it easy as any stress you put on yourself is also put on the little soulling.

Cross i sHORRIFIED. You mean he was hurting their baby?! Cross feels terrible. he is a terrible parent TT_TT (he is fine. he is just a bit misguided but lust is there to help and so are his knight brothers.) ((side side note. I hope that at least one day cross can have a reunion with Nine. Let him catch up wiht his biological brother.))

Omg yes. Reaper LOVES dad jokes! (dust loves hearing them. Geno only acts annoyed about them) and he has no shame. He is so proud to have this soulling wiht his two beautiful and talented husbands! omg and of course LIFE manages to get him to be a bit bashful. Becuase reaper suddenly rememebrs his edgy stage. and he made some VERY bold claims. In his defence. He was young nad a LOT of time has passed in the meantime.

and it is okay. you can have them on the brain 24/7 hihihi

Hey i am back with a thought.

I know we already mentioned like. The future future plans concerning kids in the New Age storyline.

I was thinking. Who would carry/get the kid in the couples? (Yes this implies mpreg. If this aint your thing no worries you can just ignore everything else :3 )

As you mentioned before. Nightmare and error would most likely adopt.

Between dream and blue i think blue would end up carrying the kid. Dream would feel too locked up and locked down if he had to take it easy. Also. Let this man pamper Blue. He deserves that.

Ccino and Killer. Ccino wouldnt want kids for a LONG time and even just the idea would be slow going. But killer has his soul situation (is that also a situation in this story?) And he is a knight being out and about. Ccino is safely at home and would be the safer option. But they would need a long time before ccino would feel comfortable with the idea.

Horror and Crop. Crop. Hands down. Horror with his work and Crop has help on the farm. But i doubt thwy would get a kid because they have along distance relationship.

Cross and Lust it depends on who wants it more. I can see both being the one who does it mostly because i can see pros and cons for both sides.

Reaper, Geno and Dust. Only one option. Reaper. Dust doesnt have a healthy enough soul and that with his spell around it? No way he can carry a kid. Geno meanwhile only has a soulshard so he isnt healthy enough to carry a kid either. Leaving only Reaper as an option.

Okay that was it. :D

Haha! Omg I keep forgetting this is smth I can think about! Usually it's not my scene so it might not cone up much in-stiry but it IS how I picture the cast having kids in this one, so!!! We're diving in!!

Like u said, those boys are adopting hehe-

With Dream and Blue it's a bit hard, because I think that Dream would be really really worried about Blue the entire time. Like, terrified his magic would accidentally trigger the whole Twin thing. But, ultimately, yeah, probably Blue! Dream *would* get too restless, and Blue rlly does deserve to be pampered hehe- (I just think Blue would have to really really talk Dream into it. Dream does NOT want to be like his mother anymore.)

Killer and Ccino... let's go with a yes on Killer's soul situation, so Ccino would be their only option. But, like you said, it would be ages before they even thought about discussing the idea, let alone actually having a kid.

Ohhh yeah. I see Horror and Crop as the ones least likely to have kids (as u said, long Distance relationship, but also they just have to much on their plates? They're practical guys and focus on their work and existing families first. Plus, someone has to be the cool uncles to their nieces and nephews!) But definitely Crop. Especially because Horror is pretty low on natural magic as-is and even though his soul is healthy, his body might not even be able to form a firm ecto, let alone anything safe to harbor a forming soul. (Unlike Ccino, Horror was born that way, and the injury didn't help lmao-)

Cross and Lust? I think they'd both regularly get baby fever, but neither of then would be ready to settle down for a *while* in that way, so I think they'd push off the question until years later. Then when it comes up, they 'fight' over it. Insisting that they should carry- I think they'd end up choosing Cross though! As much as Lust seems like the more convenient option, as he's not a knight, Cross is just built different and insists that if anything goes wrong he wants to be the one it happens to. Which, ofc, leads to him doing training whilst in the early stages until someone (probably Killer or Dust) notices he's a little off and then Cross admits he's got a soulling. He did not expect to immediately get horrified looks (because they were fighting someone with a lil guy inside them, not because he has a lil guy) or to immediately get ushered out of training and to his room because??? Idiot??? What were you thinking??? Cross is the worst at staying off his duties, but his brother's have him covered, thank god-

And yep, put perfectly! Reaper is so genuinely the only option! It leads to some odd interactions, since Reaper can't exactly stop being King, but he manages shockingly well and has Geno there to help him (and probably later on Dust, since Night isn't about to leave Dust out of that due to work-) And. I like to think these three in particular have multiple kids perhaps, Kane and then another, and it's kinda a running joke that Reaper's the one hauling them around lmao- (Also very convenient! Because Reaper is the one with death magic in his soul, the kids are effectively immune to it! They were made from that stuff basically, so ofc they're fine!)

[1streason]

IM FREAKING OUT CHAPTER 32 AHHHHHHHHHHHH

[pheadrus]

how did I grow up. no personality on one side of my family and no sanity on the other. both my parents are the ostracised one in each group. i tell you I had No environment in which to foster social skills just none

[petitelepus]

Can you do a matchup for my OC? MTMTE maybe?Her name is moonlight drops. Her hair is winter white with light/dark blue fading and in pigtails style and she had one side of hair covering her left eye, she wears sleeved blue crop tops with yellow angel wings around the printed word angel, having a black crop top tank top under it, she wears a skirt with shorts under it so she wouldn’t get her skirt flipped up, stockings to below her skirt and boots. She really shy and very sweet as a flower but she doesn’t really like being touched or anything to do with touching cuz she has haphephobia, her feelings are also are sensitive as a plants/flowers feelings, ptsd from childhood but she willingly to try to get over her fear of haphephobia. She loves plants and flowers so she knows how to gardened them, she very gentle whenever she gardening. She sometimes loves listening to calmly and soothingly music to calm down, she very well behaved with manners and kind so she sometimes call people sir, even the bots. She loves art and appreciates the artist for creating these arts, she loves some sun dresses and such, she also vanilla (btw shes not human, she a species I made up, flowerlet soullings I call them, half humanoid and half flowers of any kind of flower, she is a very rare kind of flower of her kind)

I match Moonlight Drops with Minimus Ambus/Ultra Magnus!

Her sweetness, kindness, and good manners pulled Minimus in. She didn't judge him for not being in his Ultra Magnus armor, no, she smiled at the sight of true him and accepted him as he was. The least he can do is to return her feelings.

It takes time for Taurus to warm up to people, but when they do they are gentle, kind, and most of all loyal. Minimus loves all these qualities in her as he does her music taste also.

It doesn't help how beautiful she also is. Her style is feminine but not raunchy and there seems to be this sweet whiff around her constantly and it's both mouth-watering sweet and calming.

Minimus has never and won't touch her without her consent. He made it clear the moment they met and when she had told him about her phobia.

Loves watching her tend her own private flower garden while listening to some calming music or perhaps listening to Minimus himself hum with the music. He has a lovely voice that calms her down so this relationship is bound to thrive like flowers she is.

[glados-boyfriend-girlfriend]

A soulless creatures analyzed form a Caroline and Glados POV

“Never knew this curious head of mine

Never knew what is love if kept inside

Nothing but an endless, empty heart

Like laying in the sea within the dark

Give me a piece of your heart, of your heart

Give me a piece of your hands as we go”

This part could represent a Caroline, imagine her when she discovers that cave is gone, that she’s gonna be turned into Glados, and there’s nothing she can do, so she decides to do it in her own accords, and the when the day comes, she realizes that’s she spend her entire life not knowing how to feel love but being in love with her own curiosity, like she know she loves science, but she just can feel it.

“I wouldn't mind if I can't find, I can't find

Anything to save our heart

All the pieces of my body's gone

Look at me now and tell me how I feel inside

Every pieces that I lost, I have lost”

This is when Caroline is being uploaded to Glados, she can feel that she’s losing herself, and she wants to save as much of her she can, she want to save a pice of her soul so bad, but how can a machine have a soul? In the end she lost herself in the desperation and there’s was almost nothing left of her.

“Calm, I wander after dawn restores

Waiting for the world to turn once more

Listening to the deep magnetic sound

Hunting for a victim, lying down

Come back to me, after peace restores soulless creatures”

Glados awakens calmed, aware and lost, not knowing who she is, but feeling what she has to do, she doesn’t known when they gonnat turn on her, she doesn’t know why they should, but she knows they will, so she acts as expected of her, like a soulles creature.

“Feel some hearts, I wouldn't lie

I got memories that travels my mind

Fear not, fear not

When you go, I got pieces of your hate in my soul

Look at me now (look at me now)

I'm falling apart in daylight

All the pieces that I've lost, I have lost”

Glados remembers, she remembers Caroline memories but since she’s not Caroline, they dont scare her, but the hate that was the only thing Caroline was able to save in Glados body made her realize something, this hate isn’t hers, she didn’t knew Caroline or cave or anyone, burt she feels Carolines heart, and how her last wish was to “do science because she can, and not because someone told her” and although Caroline felt hate towards that wish because it felt imposible to archive, Glados doesn’t feel that hate cause it’s her reality now, and she loves it.

[vanilla-bean-buttercream]

Who Rescued Who? - Chapter 3

Pairings: Future Royaliceit | Established Royality Main Characters: Roman, Thomas, Logan, Joan Warnings: Arguments, multiple kidnapping mentions, death mention... that’s pretty much it Word Count: 3,199

<=Chapter 1 | <-Chapter 2

Ao3 Link

Summary:

Roman is determined to go on the rescue mission to get Patton back, no matter what his brother Thomas says. He just has to figure out a way to do it without anyone noticing. Too bad for him, Logan is going on the mission, and it'll be hard to go without being noticed.

__________

“Absolutely not.”

“But Thomas, I-”

“Goodness gracious, Roman, what were you thinking? You honestly think-”

“Thomas, I’m not a child anymore! I can-”

“-let you run out to who knows where and-”

“-be just fine. If you’d just give me a chance, I-”

“-could lose you too. I can’t lose you too. There’s not enough-”

“-time to prove I can handle myself and-”

“Enough!” Thomas banged his fist on the table, making the candles and Roman jump into the air. Thomas swallowed thickly and pinched the bridge of his nose. He scrubbed a hand over his hair then down his face. For a moment, all he did was stare at the table. His eyes blinked rapidly, and his teeth locked his anger into his throat with a swallow. “Enough, Roman. I said no.”

“But if you just-”

“I said no!” Thomas’s head snapped up. “We have knights for this. Roman, please, I know you feel bad about Patton, but this isn’t-”

“It’s not just Patton. It’s the fact that a Dragonborn swooped into our land undetected and stole him right from under our noses. I’m… I’m embarrassed and angry and ready to get him back. You can’t just make me wait here until the knights come back.”

“Watch me.” Thomas walked away from the table and toward his room, his red rosed cloak flowing behind him. 

Roman chased after him. He continued to argue, “I saw which way the dragon went. I can help!”

“And I told you, there is no land to the east. The only place that way is Vulgaria, and it’s more to the south than the east.”

“And maybe the dragon turned and went there. Did you ever think of that?”

Thomas snapped his head around, annoyance in his eyes. He took a deep breath and walked back to Roman. After putting a hand on Roman’s shoulder, he mumbled, “Look, I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, but what good will it do if you’re both dead? I can’t… I loved Patton too, but I can’t-” he swallowed hard- “I can’t lose both of you.”

Roman sighed through his nose and put both his hands on Thomas’s cheeks. He pushed their foreheads together and took a deep breath.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m just-”

“Frustrated.”

“Yeah. It’s just… cruel irony, that Patton was taken by a Dragonborn, when-”

The door knocked, and both brothers turned their attention to it. Thomas called out a quick “enter” and the double doors swung open.

Two people walked in. One was wearing the knight’s uniform, a golden rose embroidered on their chest plate and red cloak flowing freely behind them. Their feet clanked on the stone floor as they approached. The other wore a long blue robe with purple accents, a long tie, and a belt with various potions on it. His walking staff clanked every two steps, and a determined frown settled on his lips.

“Noble Joan, Sir Logan,” Thomas addressed, “Are you ready?”

“As we’ll ever be,” Logan responded.

Roman sputtered and gestured at Logan. He whined, “Okay, I can understand Joan going, but Logan? He’s not even a knight? Why does he get to go and I can’t?”

“Because Sir Logan is well versed in protection and healing spells,” Thomas informed, “and he’s not royalty.”

Roman scowled, and Logan cleared his throat. He turned to face Logan and folded his arms.

Logan spoke, “I also have a vast knowledge of Vulgaria and can communicate freely between the citizens there as well as try to find Prince Patton. It would be unwise to not have me go along on the mission.”

“Sure, rub it in,” Roman mumbled.

Thomas sighed and spoke, “Now, Roman-”

“I know it’s hard,” Joan interrupted. Thomas looked over at Joan, thankful for their help. “I know it’s going to be hard, but I promise you I’ll do everything I can to get Patton back.”

“I know you will,” Roman replied with a sigh. He rubbed his neck. “I just… I feel like a failure. I promised to protect him. I told him I’d protect him, and here I am just… waiting like a coward for my knights to fetch like a dog.”

Logan and Joan shared expressions, and Thomas took a deep breath. The two left Thomas and Roman in the peace of the throne room, and Thomas walked back to the map at his table. He leaned over it and shook his head.

“What are we going to do?” he mumbled. “If Patton did… if something happened, and the treaty between us and Moraline falls through-”

“Cassie would never let that happen,” Roman replied. “Worst comes to worst I’ll- if Cassie will have me that is- I’ll marry her to keep the treaty alive.”

“But, Roman, you’re both gay.”

“I know, but honestly, how many of our ancestors that were gay were married to people they didn’t love?”

“That’s true, but- but I never wanted you to marry someone you didn’t love out of duty. You and Patton, you formed a special bond since you were little. You grew up with each other, and this marriage was more than just a treaty. It was a bond between two people who loved each other. I’d let you marry Patton even if there was no catch.”

“I know.”

“And I’m sure Cassie wouldn’t make you marry her anyway. I heard she already has a sweetheart lined up to be her betrothed.”

“Ah yes, Lady Mara. I’ve heard all about that,” Roman said with a roll of his eyes. Thomas gave him a nudge, and Roman let out a giggle.

“Be nice,” Thomas warned, but the smile on his face showed he shared the same sentiment. The two brothers stood in silence for a moment before Thomas stretched. “Well, I’m retiring for the night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah,” Roman mumbled. Thomas walked over and patted Roman’s shoulder before stepping out of the throne room.

Roman walked over to the map on Thomas’s desk. It included both the continent of Mindscape and the smaller islands off to the side. The mainland almost resembled a human brain. Creativia sat at the southernmost point, a peninsula between the Roamin Ocean (which Roman was so graciously named after) and the Turbulent Sea. Directly above it was the country of Moraline, the largest country on the continent. To Moraline’s west was the country of Soulle, which Creativia didn’t trade with as far as Roman knew. He knew the royalty there, but only by name. Then, to the east of both Moraline and Creativia were the islands that made up Vulgaria. Most of their weaponry came from there, something the two countries hadn’t needed since their reign of peace began almost twenty years ago. Their island neighbors fell silent, and Roman wondered if they knew the Dragonborn still lived on their shores.

Roman folded the map and stuck it into his cloak. He took a deep breath and silently begged for his brother to forgive him. However, he couldn’t stand idly by and sit like some prince waiting for true love. 

--

Logan dodged the second fish vendor in the past five minutes and hurried to Joan’s side. The knight looked sympathetically at him, their eyes straight ahead and face shadowed by their helmet.

“Are marketplaces always like this near the coastline?” Logan questioned.

“They are in the morning, yeah,” Joan replied. They ignored someone calling out for them to try some fresh produce. “You just gotta keep moving. If you stop, they’ll sell you anything.”

Logan opened his mouth to retort when a long stick jutted between him and his destination. He slowly turned his eyes over to an elderly man with a crooked grin.

“Well, hello there,” the salesman said, “I couldn’t help but notice you have a rather run-down walking stick there. Care to trade for a new one?”

Logan gripped his staff protectively against his body and puffed his chest out. “I’ll have you know that this staff has been passed down by my ancestors for nearly five generations. I would never part with it.”

“Wow, never pegged you as the sentimental type,” Joan taunted. Logan shot them a glare.

“That’s a shame,” the salesman replied. “See, this staff that I have right here is made from the finest cherry oak, and it’s probably much more stable than that old thing.”

“No thank you.”

“Well then, how about this handcrafted mahogany staff made by my own granddaughter. It’s one of a kind, and it was her first whittling project. She was so proud, and I’d love to sell it to someone who understands the value of a family artifact.”

“I said no thank you,” Logan responded, his face growing red.

“Alright, I get it. Mahogany isn’t your thing. So how about-”

Logan banged his staff on the ground. Blue sparks flew out underneath it and dashed across the stone. It silenced most of the people walking in the street, who stopped to stare at the exchange. The salesman’s mouth snapped shut. He stared at Logan, who leaned in awful close to his face and swallowed hard.

Logan growled, “I don’t want a new staff. Do you comprehend what I’m saying now?”

“Right, right, yes my mistake,” the salesman said as he backed down. “I’m sorry to have upset you, sir. Have a lovely day.”

Joan stifled a laugh behind their hand as a smug smile crept onto Logan’s face. Logan walked through the marketplace with his head held high. No other vendors tried to force him to buy anything else. 

“Well, you showed them who’s boss,” Joan spoke with amusement in their voice.

“I don’t like being made a fool of,” Logan responded.

“Right. Noted.”

The two of them made their way to the dock. Boats of all shapes and sizes lined the harbor, some with sails that towered over the tallest buildings. People pushed past them with large bags of fish, some said their goodbyes to their loved ones as they set off on their journey, and some gave Joan and Logan weird glances as they passed by. Of course, it wasn’t every day they got to see the royal knights out this far, so they excused the weird stares.

“I’m looking for Captain Thompson,” Joan informed a few of the fishermen. They were generous to give Joan directions, and Joan thanked them for their assistance. Joan and Logan traveled down the boardwalk to a small cabin in the center of the shipyard. A small bell sat on the counter, and Joan read the sign next to it. They rang the small bell once to get service.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” a high pitched voice called from the back. Joan wrinkled their brows in confusion and shared their expression with Logan. The wizard didn’t seem phased by the voice.

As they stood there, a boy with scruffy red hair and more freckles than stars in the sky approached the window. He appeared to be in his teens. A bubble blew from his mouth as he leaned one arm on the counter.

“What can I do you for, gentleman?” he asked.

Joan opened their mouth to speak, but Logan interrupted, “We are here on King Thomas’s orders. There’s supposed to be a boat waiting to take us to the country of Vulgaria.”

“Oh, so you’re Noble Joan and Sir Logan. Sorry about the misgender,” he said. Joan held up their hand to show no offense was taken. The kid continued, “My pop hasn’t returned yet from the marketplace, but he should be back within the next hour or two. You’re welcome to wait in here if you want.”

Joan gave a nod of thanks and turned back to Logan. They sighed and folded their arms.

“Well, now what do you want to do?” Joan asked. They looked around, not really wanting to go near the marketplace, but also not wanting to stand around for an hour.

Logan pulled a book out of his satchel and sat down on the ground. He answered, “I fully intended to read this on the ship, since it is a two-week-long journey, but I suppose I can start a bit early.”

Joan sighed through their nose and watched the ocean’s waves for a moment. They then stood and strolled toward the marketplace.

“Don’t let him leave without me,” Joan instructed.

“Of course not,” Logan answered.

Joan walked toward the marketplace, and Logan engulfed himself in his book. If humans were going to name the stars and rely on astrology to predict their future, he might as well educate himself on the phenomenon, even if he thought it was ridiculous. Nothing controlled fate. Fate controlled everyone, and no arrangement of stars or cards could change that.

“You must be Sir Logan,” a gruff voice spoke. Logan glanced up from his book. A man with a long ginger beard, muscles bigger than Logan’s head, and a sack strung over his shoulder approached. Logan closed his book and stuck his hand out to give a firm shake.

“And you must be Captain Thompson,” Logan said. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And you as well.” Captain Thompson looked around and furrowed his brow. “Say, uh, I don’t mean to be rude, but I thought my vessel was carrying two people over to Vulgaria.”

“Oh, yes. My companion, Noble Joan, should be with us momentarily.”

“Alrighty then. You mind helping me get some of this stock aboard?”

“Of course not.”

Logan eyed the crates lined up beside the boat. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The wind picked up, and when Logan opened his eyes once again, they were glowing blue. He grabbed his staff in both hands and allowed it to hover above the dock. Ancient words flowed from his lips. Logan tapped the stick twice against the ground, and blue dust floated through the air and surrounded the crates. They lifted the boxes into the air and onto the boat. With a heavy plop, they settled on the ship’s deck. The boat rocked from the sudden weight change.

Captain Thompson let out a bellyful laugh and pounded his hand onto Logan’s back. He said, “Now, that’s how you load a boat in style!”

Logan curled his nose and inched to the right. He fixed his glasses, which the captain accidentally knocked askew, and cleared his throat. He said, “Yes, well, I certainly wasn’t going to lift them up there myself.”

“Ah, don’t be modest. You look like you could lift a few heavy sacks over those broad shoulders,” the captain complimented. With a wink, he walked the boarding strip and started shifting the boxes. “I could use some help. We’ll want the weight even so nothing falls overboard.”

“Are the seas rough?” Logan asked as he stepped aboard the boat. His stomach twisted with memories.

“Eh, not as bad as in the summer. The seas are a bit calmer now. Though, the storm off to the east is still in full swing. We might hit some choppy waters.”

“Wonderful,” Logan grumbled. He ignored the way his feet moved under him as he boarded the boat.

The captain pointed to a few boxes and said, “Just push them there over to the port side and we’ll be good to go.”

“Of course,” Logan responded. He took a moment to remember the port side meant the left side in boat language. With a shove, he slid the boxes across the deck and into a small corralled area. He secured them to their spot with a few ropes. Logan stood back and wiped the sweat from his brow. “Everything should be in order, now.”

The captain leaned over the railing of the boat. “Oh, good to hear! Now, all we need is your friend to jump on board and we’ll be good to go.”

Logan noticed a silver gleam entering the ship, and he turned to face the knight entering the ship. He rose a brow. The knight walked to the front of the boat, their hands on their hips, and stared out into the sea.

The captain spoke, “Are you prepared to set sail, Noble Joan?”

The knight turned and flashed a thumbs up. The Captain ordered his small crew to start weighing anchor, and the ship set sail out into the ocean. Seagulls cawed above as the ocean waves splashed the sides of the boat. It rocked and rolled against the current.

Logan’s legs shook under him, and he contemplated sitting down. He never thought he’d have to sail the Roamin Ocean again in his lifetime. Logan spied the knight at the end of the dock, and his sickness eased into determination. He walked across the deck, keeping his teeth clenched and stomach down where it belonged. As he reached the knight’s side, he folded his hands behind his back and let the wind wave his hair out of place.

“It truly is a beautiful sight, don’t you agree, your highness?”

“Wha-” the helmet lifted off the knight’s face, and flabbergasted eyes blinked at Logan. “How did you know it was me?”

“Roman, I’ve known you since you were a toddler. Do you honestly think I wouldn’t be able to guess you’d stow away on a ship to sail and find Patton, even against your brother’s wishes?”

Roman looked down, a sheepish blush spreading across his face. He mumbled, “You’re not going to make them turn the ship around, are you?”

“Of course not. If that were the case, I would have objected while we were still on the docks.” Logan paused. “What happened to Noble Joan?”

“Um, well I mean, I may have slipped them a drugged drink that put them to sleep, and I may have paid for a room for them to spend the night in, and I may have stolen their clothes so that I could sneak onto the ship undetected… which sorta worked. They should be okay. A little traumatized, but okay.”

Logan rose a brow, and a small smile tugged at his lips. He shook his head and walked away from Roman’s side. He said, “Just promise me you’ll stay out of trouble while on board. I’m not your babysitter.”

“You have my word as a prince and a gentleman,” Roman said with a small bow. Logan snorted, settled against one of the crates, pulled a book out of his bag, and continued reading.

Roman turned back to the ocean. The sea breeze rustled his hair, and the ocean’s spray cooled his skin. He took a deep breath of salty air and exhaled it through his mouth. The ocean stretched farther than he could see. In two weeks, that horizon line would be replaced by the Vulgar Isles, and Roman would be one step closer to finding Patton. His hand reached up and gripped the heart-shaped necklace around his neck.

“Just give me two more weeks,” Roman whispered. He kissed the gold locket around his neck and took a deep breath. “Two more weeks, and I’ll free you from that evil dragon’s clutches. Then, I’ll make sure no one ever takes me from you again.”

--

Chapter 4->

[mittensmorgul]

HECK there’s so much in 1.06 I still find fascinating. In its own way, there’s even the aspect of the “truth spell” to it, when the shapeshifter takes on Dean’s form and talks to Sam about Dean’s state of mind and thoughts, and the entire episode revolves around Sam’s “normal life” past through his college friend Becky.

Big themes: lying and telling the truth (both to each other AND to the general public about what they do and the reality of monsters), identity (and the things they keep hidden from each other, which have focused on Sam in 1.05 but now get a spotlight on Dean’s internal headspace via the shapeshifter).

They show up lying, drawn into the case by Sam’s connection to her and the mysterious circumstances of her brother’s murder charge-- he was supposedly two places at once and had an alibi. Sam talks Dean into detouring to help her, and everything goes almost immediately sideways. Sam has history with Becky, which is effectively a history of lying about his entire life.

He almost immediately lies to Becky that Dean’s a police officer, forcing Dean to go with it to gain access to the crime scene, because Sam doesn’t want to tell Becky what they actually suspect. He desperately wants to keep the “civilian” side of his life untainted by the supernatural. He wants to protect Becky from learning the truth. Ironically that ends up hurting them all in the end, and they still can’t protect her from either the monster or from learning the truth-- Sam’s family hunts monsters, and the monsters are real. This little bit of unrealistic sanctuary Sam had found with his friends at Stanford has been corrupted yet again. It’s an ongoing case of “this is why we can’t have nice things.” He can’t even think back on that life he lived under false pretenses with the same “purity” anymore, you know? Can’t unring that bell now.

Yeah, Jess dying the way she did (and that guilt is STILL weighing upon him unvoiced to Dean yet) kinda wrecked the possibility of going back to that life for him, but the truth of it, the truth of the rest of his life and the monsters had still been contained. The rest of his friends were still “unpoisoned” by this knowledge and would still welcome him as the friend they’d known for four years at college. The fact Sam kept in touch with all of them via email had served as a sort of lifeline for him, an anchor to the “normal life” he’d tried to build for himself where he could pretend the monsters weren’t real.

And then he’s confronted by a literal monster wearing Dean’s face. Everything the shapeshifter taunts him with here is a fascinating early case study in Dean. Wearing a literal false face, it reveals an awful lot about Dean-- from the fact he was jealous of Sam for getting out and going to college while he was stuck in the hunting life to what he personally gave up to make sure Sam even had that chance in the first place. This is also the source of the “everyone eventually leaves me” agonizing facet of Dean’s personality:

Shapeshifter Dean: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. Sam: What are you talkin’ about? Shapeshifter Dean: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens.

There’s a reason this shows up in so many fanfics, you know? It explains his cavalier attitude about relationships, flirting-- all of it. He puts on the mask, no chick flick moments, and he can be the guy who always leaves at the end of the night or the end of the case (which we learn in another 7 episodes has additional painful rationale after we learn about how Cassie broke things off with him... what IS it with this show and episodes that invoke “college” as a symbol of freedom and normalcy? I say while 1.07 runs in the background, set at a college...). But Dean has accepted that his life is what it is. For one reason or another-- be it the nomadic lifestyle of hunting going from case to case, or just having to hide the truth of his entire life from a disbelieving public-- he’s isolated and in self-defense he wears this mask of the happy-go-lucky ladies’ man and macho BAMF. He’s accepted that normal life can never be his life, and this is the way he deals with it without getting hurt.

Ironically, it’s the very fact that Sam had been trying to keep these two sides of his life separate, untouched by one another, that “got Dean killed” here...  Secrecy may have been the expected reaction for him and Dean in their investigations, but Becky reacted like a “normal person” and disclosed everything to her lawyers.

REBECCA: I told the lawyers that we went to the crime scene. (SAM scoffs.) SAM: Why would you do that? REBECCA: Well, I told them that we were with a police officer. And they checked it out, and they told me that there is no Detective Dean Winchester. SAM: Bec— REBECCA: No, I don’t understand why you would lie to me about something like that. SAM: We’re tryin’ to help. REBECCA: Oh, trying to help? Do you realize that that was a sealed crime scene? This could have just ruined Zack’s case. SAM: Bec, I’m sorry, but— REBECCA: No, goodbye, Sam.

This leaves Becky unprepared when the shapeshifter shows up at her house looking like Dean... and uses that to gain her trust while also telling her about the monster, about what Sam had actually been investigating. And it also leaves Sam entirely unprepared for what he finds when he actually goes himself to Becky’s house to attempt to explain the truth to her. She’s already been replaced by the shapeshifter, and the moment he DOES explain the truth of the monster, she clocks him. And then Dean is forced to kill the shifter while it looks just like him... talk about an unsettling experience, but also a really freaky mirror situation, killing a mutant version of oneself. D:

But this is also Sam effectively severing his connections to the last hope of being able to go back to his life at Stanford as if nothing happened. He’s burned a bridge. And while Becky does her best to understand, for Sam, a large part of the idealization of that life as somehow “normal” has been forever shattered. He can’t pretend to be just another guy anymore.

REBECCA: So, this is what you do? You and your brother—you hunt down these kinds of things? SAM: Yeah, pretty much. REBECCA: I can’t believe it. I mean, I saw it with my own eyes. And, I mean, does everybody at school—nobody knows that you do this? SAM: No. REBECCA: Did Jessica know? (SAM looks thoughtful.) SAM: No, she didn’t. REBECCA: Must be lonely. SAM: Oh, no. No, it’s not so bad. Anyway, what can I do? It’s my family.

Must be lonely... and that’s it right there. That’s what Dean/Shapeshifter Dean had said as well. But Sam doesn’t really get it yet. He spent years with his friends at Stanford and none of them ever knew this HUGE aspect of his entire life before. Not even the woman he lived with and considered marrying and spending the rest of his life with. Sure sounds lonely to me, having to cut out so much of himself to pretend like that... and this is one of Sam’s ongoing major themes for a very long time to come-- through his soullness and shattering of self after his wall is broken, to the promise he extracts from Dean to go live that apple pie life after 5.22, to running away with Amelia and abandoning hunting yet again while never actually talking about the truth of any of it. At least Dean had Lisa, who was at least aware of the hunting and the monsters (though that didn’t help her much in the end... it did make for a situation where Dean could actually recover from his trauma without having to lie or hide huge portions of the truth from her, which is something Sam never even allowed himself to consider until the whole “something, with someone in the life” speech in 11.04).

And these themes continue over the next two episodes. Sam’s impression of going to college as his shot at freedom and normalcy, a chance to choose his own future for himself, while that illusion slowly shatters.

His conversations with Lori about how going to college got her out of her father’s home, gave her a chance to try new things in her own life, while literally carrying the baggage of her father’s beliefs of morality around her neck, “punishing” her every time she tries to step out from under his rules. The fact her father has defied the moral code he’d always taught to her-- having an affair with a married woman-- crushes her own faith in herself and her long-standing beliefs. It’s only by uncovering and destroying the symbol of that baggage that she’s able to free herself from it.

Makes it kind of ironic when in 1.08, Sam’s the one who earns the “not a liar” tag:

DEAN We're students from the university. JOE No, you're not. You're lying. DEAN seems taken aback. DEAN Well, truth is JOE You know who starts sentence with "truth is"? Liars. DEAN exchanges a look with SAM. SAM Have you heard of Oasis Plains? It's a housing development near the Atoka Valley. JOE (to Dean) I like him. He's not a liar. (DEAN looks angry.) I know the area.

Back to 1.07 for a moment, because Dean finally gets the chance to pretend, to live a bit of the college experience vicariously, and in true Dean chameleon style, he fits himself right in, makes himself at home in the frat house, even while Sam remains uncomfortably on the fringes and only really engages when Dean leaves him no other choice-- leaving it to him to paint the purple guy while they talk, dragging him to the party while Sam confesses that he didn’t really enjoy parties while he was at Stanford (which we saw in the pilot episode how even while he was there pretending to be normal, he still didn’t really let himself have that full experience and tried to keep the wall up at the halloween party). But for Dean, this is just one more experience to throw himself into with a casual lie about who he is and why he’s there, knowing full well that they’ll move on to another case, another town, another persona for him to adopt for the next case. Sam just... has trouble packing away parts of himself like this and truly letting himself be the chameleon Dean’s mastered. Not that this is healthy for Dean, either, but it’s how he’s learned to cope with his entire life.

And this “college as freedom” theme strikes again in 1.08, from several angles, telling Matt that things will get better between him and his father, and explaining to Dean as they talk about how different their experiences with their father were-- Sam feeling like the “freak” of the family for wanting to get out and live a normal life, despite possibly being the one person in their family who was already incapable of it (because hey, demon blood! psychic powers! even if we don’t know this yet, it’s painfully ironic when we’re eventually given that context).

SAM Matt, just listen. You have to get your family out of that house right now, okay? MATT What, why? SAM Because something's coming. MATT More bugs? SAM Yeah, a lot more. MATT My dad doesn't listen in the best of circumstances, what am I supposed to tell him? SAM You've gotta make him listen, okay? DEAN Give me the phone, give me the phone. (He grabs the phone from SAM.) Matt, under no circumstances are you to tell the truth, they'll just think you're nuts. MATT But he's my DEAN Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you've gotta go to the hospital, okay? MATT Yeah. Yeah, okay. He hangs up, and so does DEAN. DEAN Make him listen? What are you thinkin'?

Matt, of course, tries to tell his father the truth, and it nearly gets everyone killed, because of course his father doesn’t believe him. After the night they have, his father will be convinced and their lives will all be changed forever. There’s no going back once they know the truth.

And all of this still through the lens connecting them to the still murky mytharc, finding their father and learning the truth, uncovering and unraveling the mystery that drew them into this life in the first place. And this is still just level one of that grand tangle of cosmic deceptions that will lead them through the next 14 years to the end of their ultimate quest for the truth, and the unraveling of their fate so their final battle can be for their own freedom and free will from this eternal cosmic game. :’)

[sheepfish03]

I'll call this one "i wanted to make a comic but i dont have motivation or a long enough attention span so i wrote a fic instead"

So remember my tempink kid Bao? The soulles one who borrows emotions by taking pictures? I decided to write her first time experiencing emotions since i just can't do comics right now.

A summary at the end because i'm not very confident in my storytelling in this one :/

Template belongs to @unu-nunium

Ink to @comyet

And Bao to me, @sheepfish03

(Hey, psst @tempinksailblog )

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"Yay! This is just what i wanted! Thanks dad, thans father!" Bao exclaimed after opening her gift.

A wide smile decorated Template's face as he watched his daughters 'joyful' expression. "You really liked those photos we saw at that one au we took you to that one time, so i tought that maybe you would be interested in photography!" He said triumphantly, his hands doing some weird wawy stuff.

"Oh yeah definitely!" Bao said as she proceeded to take the camera out of it's box. Faking a smile as wide as she can, she took the polaroid onto her hands and felt a tiny pressure on her soul's empty shell, however the feeling disappeared so quickly she barely noticed it.

She looked at the camera fron every possible angle. And came to the conclusion that she liked it and that she most definitely was going to use it a lot.

"Oooh~ it's pretty! I guess you turn it on by doing this?" She said turning the camera on. " Haha i was right! Father say cheese!"

Ink gave his daughter a gentle smile as she pointed the camera at him. The picture got taken and Bao grabbed it the second it got printed out.

"Haha wow the lighting sucked!" She laughed as she showed the photograph to her dad. Template looked at it and patted her on the head.

"Don't worry i'm sure you'll get very good at this someday."

Ink started coughing and puked a puddle of... ink to the floor. "Oh wow... they weren't supposed to run out so soon." He said getting up.

"Didn't you just drink some just a moment ago?" Bao said as she ran to the kitchen, to get some cleaning supplies.

"I did... i think? But it's not a big deal i'll just take some more real quick." With that he walked into the puddle and disappeared.

Some noise was heard from upstairs.

"How long till his vials will run out?" Bao asked as she wiped the ink off the ground.

"Not long..."

"..."

"But anyway, now that you have this camera you'll have a hobby! And having a hobby means having something to do for that little while!" Template said care in his eyes.

Bao nodded and wiped the floor clean. Both her and Template listened the sound of something, most likely the bedside table, getting punched and a loud over exaggerated yell from Ink. For a moment it was silent and then it sounded like Ink jumped up and down couple of times and after that it was clear he started making his way back.

He ran the stairs down, skipping last two steps. "Holy moly, Bao i know what we should do!" His grin made him look almost insane and the beaming happiness was kind of unsettling considering it was ink after all. "We can go out to some pretty AU's. Me an daddy can do some 'AU guarding stuff' while you can learn to use that camera and take some pretty pictures!"

Template looked at Bao who seemed to be into that idea and sighed. "Very well then. But i wanna stop by snowdin in #340055 so we'll need to put some warm clothes on."

Both of the soulles dorks in the house yelled "yay" and ran off in search for some warm clothes.

After a couple of universes Ink got bored of pulling the gang to anywhere but universe #340055 so he finally brought them there.

Template made a remark on how the universe had experienced a reset recently and that they should watch out for the fallen human.

To that Ink said something about something and then they had a playfull fight or something? Bao wasn't really paying attention. The two stopped arguing as Ink pulled Template's scarf bringing him in for a kiss.

Bao didn't see that tough. She was already walking off in search for a place to take pictures in.

She figured that the door to the ruins was pretty enough for some photos to be taken. She took a moment to remind herself where exactly she needed to go. And then she started running towards the correct direction.

"That did not go as i planned." She tought to herself, up in a tree hiding from Papyrus #340055. You see Ink and Template had told her to stay out of the sight of anyone because apparently talking to the locals of any AU was forbidden for outcodes. Bao tought that was dumb, since both of his parents were good friends with Sans who belonged to US #420087 but she didn't complain because rules were rules and it wasn't like she wanted to talk to this papyrus anyways.

Number 340055 seemed to be practicing some of his attacks. He trhew bones at the surrounding trees and funnily enough he was mimicing some weird anime poses in between attacks. "He seems photogenic enough." Bao tought as she carefully took out her camera and pointed it at Paps.

Unfortunately she had left the flash on and it seemed like 340055 had noticed her so she took a tiny shortcut and ran back to where she came from.

She ran between some trees, Jumped across a small river, ran even more and as she slowed down to look back, she tripped on a rock. "SHIT!" She yells in surprise and falls to the ground.

Her spine hurts but otherwise she is fine. The camera seems to be okay too. A shame that the picture of #340055 got torn apart, were the colors supposed to bleed out.

Bao stands up and immediately feels like falling back.

Something in her feels weird

Feels out of place...

Feels...

...

Feels!

She pics up her bag and reaches to grab the picture, when she touches it however she feels a jolt of electricity run across her body and before she can react to that the colors on it leak out and into her sleeves. She feels them going all the way and stopping in her ribcage.

Suddenly she feels as if the feeling she just felt got stronger and stronger. For a moment she's even unable to breathe.

And then it calms down.

She can still feel this feeling she can't really recognize, but now it no longer burns her bones, nor does it hurt her brain or make her soul ache, neither does she feel like screaming.

Her body shaking and her head confused she stands straight up and leaves.

Her fathers are probably making out publicly again and that's not going to end well for Sans 340055 if they get seen. She thinks to herself.

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Okay brief short explanation on how exactly Bao gets her emotions from pictures of people.

Fist off, when she got the camera some weird stuff happened and her empty soul (which btw is just that, a see trhough shell of a soul) got attached to it (?).

Then whenever she takes a picture of someone with that camera, that someone loses their ability to feel anything for a time ranging from little less than hour to little over three hours, depending on how strong their emotion was.

The emotion gets stored inside the picture somehow and if that picure gets torn or cut it'll bleed it's colors out and the colors will go to Bao's empty soul and let her feel the feeling stored in the picture.

(Does that even make sense lol)

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

Blood in Heaven and Hell - Chapter 11

Summary: Arriving back at the bunker, an unexpected guest joins that makes Alex lose control, and then Dean loses his battle with The Mark.

Pairing: None

Characters: OFC!Alex Morgenstern, OFC!Aloyuisus Morgenstern, MOC!Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena Macleod, Castiel

Word Count: ~2K

Warning: Dark fic. Show level violence. Trigger warning: sibling violence. Disassociation. Trauma.

Author’s Note: I know that it is short; however, with two fight scenes back to back, it seems appropriate. Feedback is gold! Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

Author’s Note 2: My lovely beta @myloversgone is moving, so the next few chapters may be unbeta’d. I do use Grammarly (free) so forgive my mistakes. Thank you for your patience.

Arriving back at the bunker, they could all feel the effects of the portal. Sam and Dean quickly got out the bottle of water and chocolate Alex had packed for them.

Castiel and Rowena sat at a nearby table with extra water and snacks when they arrived.

Castiel swiftly grabbed her father’s corpse and flew to the infirmary then back to them again.

Alex, however, was looking around and listening. She took a few steps back as her illuminated yellow eyes scanned the room and glanced into the next one.

“Alex?” solicited Dean.

She raised a finger at him as she shifted her head side to side, closed her eyes, and took another three steps but to the side. Her shoulders tensed followed by an elbow jab 45 degrees behind her followed by another elbow jab directly behind her at an invisible form. She quickly knelt and swept her leg behind her causing a loud thud and faced the now visible intruder as she pulled out her hunting knife from her boot, and then plunged it into his shoulder. A painful, deep scream roared from him, the familial male bled from his left shoulder as her glowing yellow eyes peer down into her brother’s hazel ones, “Hello Aloy.” She kept her hand on the knife as he spoke.

Through gritted teeth, Aloy explained his appearance, “Dad said I would be safe with you.”

She quirked a haughty eyebrow at him and scoffed, “Really? The dead dad card?” She stood and boxed in his shoulders with her feet, smirking mischievously. “Surely you can do better than that.” She lifted her foot placing the tip of her boot on the palmal buried in his shoulder, “It’s hard to believe since you don’t have a soul.” She slowly wiggled the knife as her brother gritted his teeth and groaned. A cruel smile curled her lips as her brows sloped together and creased watching Aloyuisus in pain.

“Alex,” called Castiel, firmly, as if trying to command her.

She glared at him silently for a few moments, challenging him, and when he did not respond, she returned her attention to her brother, “Intruders aren’t welcome. Especially the soulles.”

“Put it back,” Aloyuisus said, eyes closed through continued gritted teeth and panting. His face was flushed with sweat beginning to dot his face.

Alex grinned, raised a brow and pushed the knife in further.

Aloy grabbed her ankle with his uninjured arm. “Please. Stop. Just put it back,” he begged.

Everyone watched and waited while Castiel, Dean, and Sam began to slowly approach the siblings.

What no one noticed was Dean fighting his own losing battle against The Mark. The lack of engagement in the highly volatile settings angered it. Dean could feel the wrath, the need for violent engagement with Alex and her broth in their fight, and the desire to bathe Dean’s hands in their blood. He stopped his approach as he felt The Mark gaining control while watching the exchange. It was an odd reminder to Dean of the conflict between Sam, Castiel and when he was a demon in the bunker.

When Sam and Castiel took another, synchronized, step, Alex reacted by putting her palm facing them forcing them to stop their approach, as if pinning them in their place.

Rowena moved behind them all near the closest exit and waited.

The tension in the air grew thicker.

Alex’s shining fluorescent eyes looked between Sam and Castiel as her face quickly fell lax.

A silent warning missed by most, Dean’s hand quickly begame knickled white fists, his face stoic and unreadable, and his form unmoveable by his own will. The Mark was bidding its time and Dean only had so much energy to withstand its assault on his mind. If only he coud warn someone.

Alex immediately grabbed Aloyuisus’ neck easily lifting him up as she stood. He used the change in motion to withdraw the knife and slash at Alex’s side. The surprise made her drop him which he uses to run into the library. She picked up the knife with a smirk, watched his movements and stalked him after him as she released her hold on Sam and Castiel.

When she reached the library, he disappeared from sight. “Aloy, you know I don’t like these silly games you play,” she yelled out, predatory eyes searching the area as she kept the brothers and Castiel in the corner of her eye. She threw the knife witha grunt embedding it into the wall parallel to her and withdrew a machete from her back.

The lights in the library flickered and dimmed; her eyes aglow in the dimness skimming the room awaiting for Aloyuisus’s reveal.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Sam approached the library stopping at the steps exchanging glances. Dean remained still and silent as his forest green eyes watched ever move Alex made.

Sam looked to Dean reading his body movement and placed a hand on Castiel’s arm tugging.

Castiel followed Sam’s eyes to Dean as they both read Dean’s body language.

Dean had a hand on his gun and the other had drawn a hunting knife from his back.

Sam looked to Castiel silent and knowing the environment was too unstable to help Dean and Alex as all their focus was currently directed on the current possible threat, Alex.

Alex unexpected jumped over one of the library tables with the machete out front like a sword as her brother appeared. A savage grin across her lips as the machete pierced through her brother’s abdomen and landed on the other side. With both hands on the hilt, she twisted the blade and blood gushed out of the wound spreading across her front.

Aloyuisus’ face paled, eyes wide in fear, and mouth agape staring into her yellow eyes.

Alex leaned her face close to his watching his eyes, his life fade. She ripped the blade through his side towards the library entrance. He collapsed to the ground holding his torso as blood pooled around him. When she looked up to the library’s entrance what saw caused a shift inside her:

Dean remained unreadable and stoic as his eyes had darkened now remaining on her.

She noticed his body positioning and the weaponry in both hands except both fists were white knuckled.

Sam looked at her, weariness and fear written clear across it. He had a protective arm out towards Dean and his other hand on Castiel’s sleeve.

Castiel’s brow was furrowed together and lips in a thin, pale line but his sad eyes hurt to see. He had his hand gripping his angel blade in his sleep ready to move as soon as opportunity struck.

Something was wrong.

Everything is wrong, she realized.

She looked down at the floor to Aloyuisus and gasped. Her eyebrows rose as she examined her brother. Fuck. She threw the machete on the table and knelt down immediately touching his chest, her hand luminous of a warm, yellow light.

His wounds swiftly glowed.

Her other hand cupped his face as she watched his color return. “Aloy?” She said to him watching for a shift in his face. “Aloy?!” She said louder at him.

Castiel watched Alex’s body language change and recognized her healing him. He quickly approached her, both hands empty.

Sam moved towards Dean who only shifted his movement closer to the library dark eyes remained on Alex.

Alex smiled as she saw Aloyuisus regain consciousness.

His hazel eyes bored into her matching ones. “You don’t get to do this,” he groaned and started to sit up.

“Wait,” she said. She kept her hand on his chest. She looked confused a moment and looked towards Castiel’s approach. She smiled and looked back to her brother, “I remember.” She closed her eyes, instantly Aloyuisus’ clothes and the floor were clean as well as repaired. She stood up and backed away from him. She removed her weapons and put them on the table before offering him her hand.

Castiel stood closeby as Alex helped Aloyuisus up from the floor.

Releasing his hand, she took a step towards Castiel keeping Aloy in sight. Alex looked to Sam and Dean, worry upon her brow.

Castiel gently grabbed her arm giving her a warning look as she step towards them.

Alex didn’t see Sam trying to engage Dean verbally or Rowena backing into the kitchen when Sam subtly motioned for her to do so. She saw Sam’s back as he faced Dean with words unheard and Dean’s eyes darkened with her approach. She put her hands up making sure they saw that she was unarmed as she approached.

A growl erupted between the brothers as Sam attempted to calm Dean down and remove the gun from his hand. Dean sliced the knife through the air at Sam causing him to back up towards the library.

Alex disappeared from the library and reappeared in front of Sam pushing him out of the way as Dean’s blade sliced into her arm. She screamed and punched him in the face alternating arms ignoring the pain.

Sam staggered but regained as he saw Alex kick Dean in the chest then a spinning kick into his wrist forcing him to drop the knife. He was surprised by her unexpected change in direction towards the map room table. She put one foot into the chair, the other stepping on the table, and then ran into a half arc on the table back towards Dean.

Dean had regained his balance and ran after her as she stepped onto the table.

Alex jumped off the table, both knees aimed at Dean’s chest and her hands outstretched towards him. She landed into his chest and wrapped her hands around the base of his skull and neck.

Vanishing before everyone’s eyes.

Tag @riley-phoenix @fluffiest-dreams @myloversgone

[yastaghr]

Sansgoriel Week

Day 6: Fanchildren and Happiness

(Note for Our Skeleton readers: this is very far in the future, but still in the same world)

Toriel, unable to stand watching her smallest datemate push his breakfast omelette pieces around his plate any longer, cautiously said, “Sans, you must eat something. It is not good for you to try to go about your day with nothing in your stomach.”

Sans chuckled weakly at her, as though something were getting in the way of his ability to see the humor in any situation.

“dunno if I've got the guts to tell you this, tori, but i don't have a stomach, for the food or otherwise. everything I try to keep down just comes back up.”

She frowned and asked, “How long has this been bothering you, Sans?”

He shrugged. “three days maybe. it's probably a bug. I've been drinking a lot to try and flush it out.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, ignoring his minute wince, “Any fever?”

“not that I've noticed. no body aches aside from the usual, and my magic has been doing just fine.”

“Would you mind awfully if I gave you a check up? I would not like to trouble Dr. Alphys at the moment, not with her clutch in the state it's in.”

“that's fine tori. couch?”

Instead of answering, Toriel simply walked over to his side of the table and set her paw just to the left of his sternum. A pale blue glow followed. It grew slowly stronger until his soul appeared.

Even Sans could see the problem. It wasn't the hairline cracks still healing from his childhood. It wasn’t the coloration, which he’d had ever since Gaster’s time machine blew up. No, the problem was a lot smaller than that. Two problems, actually, one orange, one blue. Guess heredity really did show up in soullings.

When the ringing in Sans’ head finally faded out, he opened his mouth to speak-

-and closed it. His brow bones tilted. Did he teleport in the adrenaline rush of seeing his- their new children? No, he was still in their kitchen, at the slightly glittery table that had housed so many school projects. Where was Tori?

Sans walked around the table and stopped when his slipper nudged something soft in a place where no soft something should be sitting. He looked down. His softest smile greatest the sight of Toriel passed out on the floor.

He took off his house coat and laid it over her, then set off to get a bowl of water and towel from the sink.