#MY PAIN IS IRREVERSIBLE
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr.com rank in the US is 25.
Text
he is NOT going back to Vegas ‼️‼️
#his baby sauce deep hatred yet devotion for 'retweet or x bad thing will happen to u!!!' will never die out#' i HATE these posts >:(!!!! I DO NOT BELIEVE THEM >:(!!!!!!' and then he retweets it#i can literally picture his dumbfounded expression in my mind#he'll look exactly liked the shocked fromt facing hamster meme#i remember when i was little one of my girlfriends was doing magic tricks for our broke kid school 'talent show'#and she picked me as her practice assistant#and i was like OMG :)!!! I GET TO WATCH MAGIC HAPPEN MULTIPLE TIMES!! REAL MAGIC :D !!!#and then she showed me the cheat techniques i almost wanted to divorce her tbh#SHIT BROKE MY HEART 😭‼️‼️‼️‼️#WDYM IT WAS A FAKE PENNY/CARD/ILLUSIONARY THING????#MY PAIN IS IRREVERSIBLE#altho i do appreciate the skill it takes to remember all the slyness & stuff like that takes some memory !#it's still cool 😭 i just thought magic was real like in the books#im glad that belief still lives on within the little sauceling#his cutiepie hair <333 im glad hes keeping the beanie as a usually indoor pet#pls keep it that way 🩵#or abandon it all together please god#sauce#instead of celebrating valleys day with a boyfriend/girlfriend/meep#hes captivated by the mysteries of magic
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3
#my art#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#sebastian solace#painter pressure#thought more abt my headcanons for seb’s anatomy and like. lol that tail is not pure muscle hes got guts in there.#that + the fact that there’s spinal cord in there means itd be a bad idea to try and amputate it#the wagon/eventual wheelchair is mostly for outdoor use i imagine.#<- specificallt]y for outdoor surface textures/debris that’d be bad for him to slither on#also. chronic pain have i dont think suddenly shrinking his whole body did much good for that#i imagine he and painter have like. a pool. to help with that and other needs he has now.#but he wouldnt wanna use it for a long while#there was a sort of. disconnect between his idea of freedom from urbanshade vs the reality of it i think.#like. thinking things could. on some level. go back to normal#and not considering that some of his mutations would be irreversible#and having to confront/cope with/accomodate himself about that#seb wants to be normal again but we cant all get what we want can we!#sometimes healing involves working with or around irreversible change buddy!#btw if feligayzed sees this. hiii hii your au was one of the big things that kicked my brain off on this and i wanna make fanart sometime#oh yeah this is . also.#sebpainter#pressure pathways#pathways#wow i dont think ive written a wall of tags that big in a long time. can you tell im having normal feelings about them
860 notes
·
View notes
Note
Nightmare, do you sell catnip? my cats looking to get high
- ALT - PASSIVE!NIGHTMARE: ...Pardon? KILLER: I HAVE SOME FOR 50$!!!
- IDK - He's not saying pardon cause he's concerned, he just can't read what you're saying right now (opioids got to him fast)
MAIN: @inkyu
Back | Start | Next
#Silly Ask#It not NYATT my intention to make Nightmare's sweater's color scheme nearly identical's to frisk SJSJSJ#I just made Dream's color pallete hues purple to get that twin vibes SJSJSJSJ#honestly I think it's cool either way!!!#anywhos yes Nightmare is passive#Whenever he's passive it's cuz he abused pain opioids#speaking of which do NOT abuse opioids#or any medicine/drugs it WILL fuck you up and cause irreversible damage!!!#this blog is all sillies in stuff but I have an ending planned for it and it's gonna be a sad one (i just gyatta hope there's specific asks#being asked)#ANYWHOS!!!#ask the druggieverse#atdv#druggieverse#passive nightmare sans#passive nightmare#killer#killer sans#undertale#undertale au#utau#undertale multiverse#fanart#ask blog#sans au#Also if anyone see's this uhhh....#HIIII#not everyone got new designs sorry </3
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
goretober day 6: Transformation
this mermaid concept is not mine!!! it is cool as hell and comes from my homeboy @ch1ck3n-t03s
#original#mermaids#goretober#crisisgoretober2024#RAUHGHHH. THIS MERMAID CONCEPT IS SO FUCKING COOL DO YOU EVEN GET IT. DO YOU EVEN GET IT#IM ALWAYS FOREVER THINKING ABOUT THIS. COOLEST FUCKING MERMAID CONCEPT IVE EVER SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE#they have CULTURE because they ARE people and they have to live once transformed and they have to live with each other#but everyone who is a mermaid was once human and they are linked by this horrifying painful often deadly process#which strips them of their agency and takes from them everything they knew up to and including their own bodies#if they breathe through the fish gills do their lungs fill with water? do they drown as they are taken by the fish#the fish are not intelligent but the humans ARE. once they merge they both change irreversibly and the mermaid has no choice but to condemn#someone else to the same fate they fell to if they want to continue their species#AUCH. and it's right there in the space between biologically feasible and sci fi 'no fucking way' that scratches my brain#like yeah dude. show me mermaid parasitism on a huge scale. show me massive symbiosis in which the two fuse together to form one individual#im thinkin this one is maybe a few weeks after the chomp. the scars are fresh but the fish has started the fusing#it doesn't need the eye anymore and so it's started to reabsorb. the mouth is fusing to the human body#the human legs are mostly dissolved but i imagine the bones are still intact which is why u can kind of see the knee through the eel#and it bends more drastically at the hip because the pelvis hasn't been digested yet. the fish's teeth have dissolved#the fins are still backwards in regards to how large a dorsal vs ventral fin should be because the fish is backward on the human part#it's so fucking cool dude. i love fucked up mermaids#i dont even care about my mermaids cause i aint never doing anything as cool as these bitches. what the fuck. mermaid parasitism. fuck yes#im late for the prompt once more but who care. im doing my thang. peacesign peacesign peacesign
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
I swear If anything happens to barnaby...I'm going to riot both happy and sad..
yeah <3
#oh im Hoping things happen to him#i hope he breaks.#i hope he gets messed up in irreversible ways#i hope he gets permanently Changed if not outright Murdered by the narrative#I NEED MY FAVORITE TO GET FUCKED UP TO HELL AND BACK <3#put him through itttttt#please he's Perfectly primed to be put tf through it#everything about him stacks up to a blinking neon sign that says Royally Screwed!#rambles from the bog#barnaby b beagle more like barnaby be prepared for agony#the storyteller in me is stronger than the character lover. i can endure any pain as long as it has meaning
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
the crater is still on my mind. i'm rotating in my head about how the "story of hell" was a softened version of the real events that transpired so little charlie could digest it easier. thinking about how we heard a woman softly screaming.
#(( every time i think about the Fall it hurts me more and more and that post just did irreversible damage to me ))#(( lilith shrieking all the way down. in agony. in protest. in anger. in pain. and in fear of the rushing unknown.#while the both of them had certainly just got mangled by heaven itself as supported by all the depicted spears#and the scrapped imagery in the lucifer ride at looloo land that DEPICTS the Fall ))#(( i hope we get to see it animated one day and it is as brutal and bloody as my mind is concocting ))#☾ ⛧ ��� ooc.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Very happy I'm going back to therapy next week
#im so fucking tired of this bullshit#i cried for myself abt all the pain and abuse i went through today on the drive home and i realized that i keep trying to pretend like ive#healed but i havent and im still very wounded from the whole experience#his family apologizing didnt help that aspect of the complicated feelings at all#like ill never ger an actual apology from him. never#and BECAUSE OF HIM im fucking terrified to emotionally open up to people in the way i desperately need to bc of how much i was gaslit and#fucking manipulated and emotionally tormented and blamed for it. i want to be able to actually process my heavy emotions and talk it through#with someone so i dont have to go through it all alone#and im scared. im terrified of it#i have been irreversibly scared and it hurts#i keep pretending like my abuse is something ive healed from and even now i doubt if it actually ever was#and i fight every fucking day bc the evidence is comically present everywhere#im#im just tired#i want to cry and be held afterwards#havent i at least earned that much?#cant i please just be held?
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
NO OMG I FUCKED UP ANOTHER TOOTH BC OF MY PEPPERMINTS AGAIN
#AND I JUST NOTICED TOO#IT HAS A BIG CHIP IN THE SIDE. DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK#i’m not ready for it to start hurting noooo omg i think that’s one of my good teeth too i’ll have to go to the dentist what the fuck#i’m so upset . i hate going to the dentist they are so mean and ruthless and just don’t explain shit no matter how you word the question#and leave you doing the wrong shit for years#but i can’t go through tooth pain for three years straight again i can’t do that again i’ll become even more depressed#i’ll lose whatever self confidence i had left oh my god#oh my god i fucking hate my teeth why can’t they just be NORMAL JESUS CHRIST#i’m not ready to be back in that chair with random men stabbing me and getting mad at me#i’m not ready for the shame at all but i don’t want to risk a heart attack oh my god my stomach hurts so bad#if i could just go back in time and force my mother to force me to brush my teeth so i develop the habit and not have to deal with this +#irreversible bullshit that’s my own fault??? i would do it in a heartbeat oh my god#fuck it why even involve her. i would go back in time and scare my younger self so bad into doing it and i know just how to#but the reason is so embarrassing yeah i fucked up my teeth like last time with the same candy . please don’t mock me#not spiderstuff
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spending hours trying to figure out why I feel so irritable and sensitive today and I’m only realizing now it might have something to do w being invited to a birthday party full of an entire family I’ve never met and like seven very small children and the person inviting me assuming I would love that. I want to support her bc I like her and she’s family now, but I cannot---I will not---go to another family event and be pushed into the kitchen doing dishes with the women or cooing over someone’s baby who just stares at me and whines when I try to mask and say hello.
#my period ended so it ain't that.#maybe i'm a horrible person. i just want to be left alone for seven solid days. and i certainly do not want to be forced-#-to interact with children. they scare me. real bad.#maybe this also has something to do with my readings for this week and the fact that we're going to be discussing 'womanhood'.#like the subject is 'what IS a woman to you?' and i am not really looking forward to listening to 15 cis girls tell me-#-how awful it is and how much pain they themselves endured while entirely not acknowledging the existence of trans women#or gnc women.#why am i so irritable jfc.#every time i talk like this to my partner they give me that look lol. the look that's like 'uh huh. i know a trans person when i see one.'#and i'm like shhhhhhh. no. don't say that. shhhh. i don't want to be. i hate myself okay and my family scared me out of it.#wish i could fucking shapeshift. wish i was just fucking born with a dick and a flat chest. actually i wish i was two people.#so i could decide from day-to-day and not have to worry about irreversible changes.#how much of my alleged transness is just internalized misogyny? <- this is a question i ask very very quietly to myself#because i think it's what my mother thinks. and most of the world.#how do i learn to be comfortable AS a masculine woman? i have no one to look up to who can teach me or show me it's okay.#i have transmasc friends who are elated to go on T. i'm scared that they will make me want to do it again. why tf am i scared of that...#irreversible changes. society. literally everything. fucking hell............#no one talks about this particular experience of gender. no one talks about the in-between and the immense fear. at least no one to me.#why am i even taking gender studies in university if every class is full of cis women who don't even know the terminology of transness#or of gender-expansiveness...#i think i've become a very sour person in the last few years.#need to vent through writing or something. like through fanfiction.
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
so deeply in hell
#literally crazy how my entire sense of the landscape of my life got blown to smithereens a week ago and i have to be normal and have#meetings and be responsible for schoolwork and preparing people for the retreat and orienting my new colleague to our work duri ng her first#week when i am triggered by every little thing and my chest feels like it’s collapsing with the weight of how badly i need to sob. lole#purrs#like i think it is actually fucking over for me. i think i am going to end it. (not my life but something fundamentally important to it 😻👎💔#) and i have to be so fucking normal about that when it is the worst most painful thing in the world. and i can’t tell if that’s what#actually has to happen or if it’s my brain fucking destroying me but the way i am in full blown panic mode knowing i have irreversibly#damaged this thing that gives my life structure and meaning and i have to confront that truth for real and act on it in a few days. LOL#like it’s sooooo crazy. the thing that.. like i haven’t been able to without… and i ruined it. by needing too much too loudly ummmm 😍😍😍🤪🤪🤪😵😵#delete later
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fan expo haul because I ended up standing in line for mads for two hours straight and then promptly had a huge panic attack slash mental breakdown due to the Everything, and my body is in a LOT of pain from standing that long / walking but hey I shook his hand :D
#dude i um. did irreversible damage to myself by doing that#im gonna be real with you chief it was not worth it and i prefer vending way more than attending cons#i forget how bad my fear about bein in public is until i wind up on the floor of the con hyperventilating sobbing rocking back and forth lol#straight up top two worst con experiences ive ever had is this and then the san japan i spent in a dissociative state#because my friends forgot me and i had to be taken care of by a group of homestuck cosplayers and then learned a close family member DIED#my fucking god i did get to see like adam savage and giancarlo esposito walking past though. and maile flanigan and hayden pannetiere#however you spell her last name POINT IS i . am in so much pain <- refused to bring their cane#val.txt
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
vent
#content warning for detransition#it is hard to exist in the world as someone who regrets transitioning#i'm not transphobic. i support trans people. it just wasn't right for me#and yet my experiences get lumped in with people who spout hateful rhetoric#i'm not here to take away anyone's right to do anything. i believe in bodily autonomy.#i don't want to be a precautionary tale or a right wing news story. fuck terfs.#all i want is empathy#i can't talk about how traumatic my transition was without people assuming that i'm talking about all trans people#i'm just talking about me. my experiences are not normal.#i am a victim of homophobia and malpractice. i was tricked and abused.#i saw a post about detrans positivity and it was all about how you can change your mind and it's fine#it's not fine for me#there are major irreversible medical changes i underwent that i did not truly consent to#i struggle with it every day. i can't just turn back. and people tell me it's my fault.#i'm happy for people who feel supported by that sentiment but i don't feel supported by it#i need love and support for people who DO feel broken because of transitioning#the grief that people like me experience is unimaginable#and so often we have to face it alone because we are seen as traitors#i promise i still support you and your transition despite my pain#please. acknowledge that I exist.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
listen i get that eating disorders are complex things and people cope/vent in different ways but if you tell a chronically ill person you wish you had their condition because they’re starving to death against their will and wasting away from malnutrition i’m going to maul you and everyone else within a 5 mile radius. a person who gets hit by a train isn’t lucky because someone else feels suicidal.
#gastroparesis#health#tw ed mention#it’s not fucking cute i’m in pain#my life is limited and my future has been irreversibly altered#tw pro ed#tw suicide mention
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
to be sad is to be darkly beautiful, and that sad dark beauty looks like pain and storminess and gloom and grey and blue and suffering. and that sad dark beauty sounds like whispers and broken voices and white lies and regret and hurt. and it feels like things will never be okay again.
#sad#dark#depression#gloomy#poem#poetry#poet#writing#words#i’m deeply sad#i am a deeply sad person#my pain feels irreversible#pain
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Luna (Luz) Hatt stimboard because if I'm going to do Hunter I might as well do her too!
Luna is fascinating in this setting because she's both completely different from canon and yet entirely the same. She has a very similar personality to her canon self, but she's less witch obsessed and more train obsessed, and she has no real desire to leave Sodor or find her birth family. She's well loved where she is: she has her little brother, her parents, the engines, and her best friend. There's no real motive for her to desire an escape. She fits in here.
ik it keeps looking like I'm JUST posting Owl House stimboards but I SWEAR they're related to ttte in a way. It's for the crossover I promise it's at least slightly related. I just don't tag these with ttte because it's more focused on an owl house character.
🌟|💜|🌟 🌟|💜|🌟 🌟|💜|🌟
#the owl house#toh#stimboard#my stimboard#crossover#my crossover#my au#crossover au#On The Horizon (ttte x toh)#someone commented 'no' on the Hunter stimboard and like??? fuck off. Let me have my angsty comfort au#TTTE x TOH is actually an incredible crossover. You guys just need to see my vision. Ik someone out there does.#also important to note that OTH!Luz actually has the long curly hair that she has in her titan form#because she didn't rlly have anything prompting her to cut off her hair#she's SUCH a cutie. too bad her being on Sodor has caused Camilia irreversible pain and suffering.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
wondering how many more people in my circles i've accumulated enough Recommending-Things-To Credit to throw the hole show at them because i am dying for more sickos to show my things to
that 'write for an audience of thirty sickos' tweet is like aspirational to me because if i had that many (especially if a couple were like, Concrit-giving Sickos) i'd be really happy and not even slightly wish for a bigger audience. but it seems i can at most pull three-to-four sickos at a time and the prior sickos orbit away before new sickos come. Where Are My Thirty Sickos
#something really unfortunate is that there IS someone who shares the fandom with me AND shares my 'fics are Serious Art' takes#and would under other circumstances perhaps be able to give me the excoriating constructive criticism i desire*#*not that i don't love positive comments too! i ADORE them ; - ; feels like positive feedback on Bits Of My Soul <3 but i also want concrit#--anyway. under other circumstances i could perhaps request it from them.#BUT. LIKE. i keep framing stories through the lense of a ship they REALLY don't want to read and am unlikely to stop. whoopsie!!!#anyway. if you can stomach much Horror and Pain with the assurance that the driving force that makes it horrifying is Love and Tenderness#if you like the thought of engaging with a narrative where the act of doing so IS you acting out the metaphor of irreversible journey--#the theme of the inevitable destruction of innocence is one you yourself will have enacted upon you through following the story--#do your ebil a favor and watch the orphan hole show
2 notes
·
View notes