#like i think it is actually fucking over for me. i think i am going to end it. (not my life but something fundamentally important to it 😻👎💔

[mediumgayitalian]

Will wakes up a little bit stuck and a lot bit hot. It’s just past sunrise, from what he can see out of the mostly-shuttered window, which means he’s just past late. Fuck.

“Nico,” he whispers, trying and failing to delicately free himself, “Nico, un-octopus. I gotta pee.”

He does have to pee. Moreso, he needs to wake up and leave, but if Nico hears so much of a syllable pertaining to his abandonment he will never let go. Ergo. Will has learned some creativity.

“Mmfggh,” groans Nico, maturely. He tightens his arms around Will’s waist and buries his face deeper into the (boiling, suffering, sweating, etc) crook of his neck. “No. Suffer.”

“Nico.”

“Sh.”

“Nico.”

“Sh. I’m sleeping.” Will feels more than sees one eye opening, eyelashes tickling his skin. He can guess at the glare. “Don’t you want me to be well-rested and healthy.”

“Right now I kind of want to flick you, honestly.”

Nico hides a smile along Will’s spine.

“That’s because you’re sick and twisted.”

“Mhm. Get off, di Angelo.”

Nico pouts but, finally, relents: he loosens his hold not enough for Will to roll out but enough that he can actually fill his lungs with enough oxygen to wiggle his way to the edge of the bed. Nico, as soon as Will is not glued to him, huffs and rolls over, smothering himself in Will’s pillow.

“I see how it is,” he complains, muffled. “You don’t want me. Fine. See if I hold you next time you come in here all needy and affectionate.” He shifts just enough to glare, once he’s sure Will is looking. “I’ll close the door in your face.”

Will rolls his eyes, smiling. He’s late, but he lingers a moment, tracing his fingers across Nico’s spine, his ribs; trailing along the reddened scratches over his shoulders and ignoring Nico’s nooooo leave them leave them as he heals them.

“You’re such a drama queen.”

“I mean it!”

“Right. You meant it yesterday, too, and yet…”

“You seduced me,” Nico says, emphatically. He sits up quickly and catches Will’s hand, staring at him hard and serious — enough so that Will almost believes him, except the corner of his mouth twitches. “You — did some kind of spell fuckery on me, no doubt purchased from your various witchy sources, and all restraint — gone. Poof. And I have restraint in abundance, so obviously it was not my weakness.”

“Obviously,” Will agrees. “Not like you say my name in your sleep and wake up pouting if I so much as breathe near the door. ‘Course not.”

Nico goes pink. “I — do not.”

Will grins. “You do. Sometimes you try and kiss the air where you imagine I am.”

“You’re full of shit.”

“Whatever you need to believe, darlin’. It’s not like I’m allergic to lying.”

He leaves Nico sputtering, cackling on his way to the ensuite. It is half the reason he’s dating Nico, honestly. How come Will’s cabin doesn’t get an ensuite? They’ve got like a billion people in there. They need it more than he does.

But, well. Will needs an ensuite to get ready most mornings, because he’s up before the harpies are cleared for the night, so he supposes he will just have to sleep at Nico’s more often than not. Shame. Tragedy, really, because he is just so attached to his twin bed that is not long enough for his legs. Too bad.

“I can hear you rearranging products in there,” Nico calls, still grouchy. “Cut it out.”

Will turns the last tube of hair gel so it is just slightly off-centred from the rest of the products. He smiles around his toothbrush.

“Wouldn’t be such an issue if you didn’t have so much hair shit,” he responds, spitting into the sink.

“You should have more hair products! Look at yourself!”

Will does not. He does not have a sister who continues to look judgementally upon his mess of a head and passive aggressively but lovingly gift him hair supplies for all birthdays. He also does not have time to do his hair. Less people should maim themselves for Will to handle all day, and then maybe he’ll do something with his hair.

“You think my hair is sexy,” Will says, walking back into the main cabin. Nico harrumphs from under the covers, notably not denying it, and stares unabashedly — not that there is much to see, since it’s still pretty dark out — at Will while he changes. Will slips on a scrub top and then walks over and pinches him.

“Ow,” Nico whines, rubbing the spot as if he did not try to hide the stab wound he got sparring from him yesterday. “You hurt me.”

“Mhm. You objectified me.”

“…Only a little!”

Will shakes his head, smiling, and leans down — holding Nico’s wandering hands away from the hem of his shirt, he has places to be and has been distracted enough already — to kiss him. It’s a challenge, pressing his smile to Nico’s pout, but very quickly Nico sighs, eyes fluttering shut, and Will can kiss him properly.

“I’ll come wake you up again around noon if you’re not already up,” he murmurs. “I have to open the infirmary, but then I’m practicing for the rest of the day. You’re coming to my game, right?”

Nico tries to slide his hands up Will’s chest. Will bats his hands away.

“Yes,” he says, mournfully. “I will come watch you hit a ball around with other such interested jocks.”

“Bring your pom-poms,” Will says, cheeky, “and I wouldn’t remiss a matching skirt.”

He pulls away to Nico’s snorting laugh, wiggling his fingers in a wave as he heads to the door. He hears Nico’s quick have fun, goober as he pushes the solid obsidian shut behind him and blows a kiss at the window. He stands on the veranda, stretching, and relaxes with a sigh, staring across the common.

Gods, it is early.

And cold.

He trudges his way to the infirmary, anyway, already anticipating tonight’s koala cuddling.

———

next

[five-thirtyfive]

“not a lot, just forever”

plot summary: the pair break up six months into paige’s rookie year and azzi’s final year at uconn. this is the story of how everything falls apart before they find their way back home.

authors note: okay this may or may not turn into a series depending on if people like it + my motivation. let’s see. please let me know if you actually enjoy reading this or i may assume i am just speaking to the void which is kind of embarrassing anyways hahah

PART ONE - PAIGE.

they break up on an uncharacteristically humid and rainy afternoon in September, exactly six months after they started living one thousand seven hundred miles apart. paige feels like her heart is being ripped out of her chest and it doesn’t matter that she had heard the warnings before, that long distance is hard and that its impossible to make it work when you’re young..she always figured they were the exception - Paige and Azzi- and their incredible love story. she can barely believe it, that they could make it work at sixteen, two naive girls who barely knew what love meant but wanted it enough to start their first ever relationship hundreds of miles apart, but failed so horrifically at twenty three.

it’s really bad honestly, an amalgamation of missed texts turning into missed facetimes and small arguments turning into big fights, until paige realises that azzi’s flown to dallas exactly three times since pre-season, and all three times, had ended in some kind of apology from either one of them. it comes to a standstill with azzi lingering on paige’s doorstep, carrying a bag of her own clothes she'd never even unpacked (despite her usually never bringing her own clothes when near paige’s wardrobe….paige thinks in hindsight that azzi bringing her own clothes was maybe a sign, azzi’s subconscious telling her that this time, she is done). there’s tears and yelling and it's almost unbelievable, because they never yell, at least never at each other. they hurl foreign grenades they don’t mean (at least, paige knows she doesn’t mean the awful things spewing from her mouth, but she can’t seem to stop it happening anyway) and it’s the bloodbath that never ends, going and going and going until finally, azzi’s slamming the door and storming out of paige’s shitty dallas apartment.

it feels final, the way it rattles and echoes, before the apartment is completely silent. azzi’s soft giggle, her feigned annoyance at paige’s antics, her uninhibited moans that once filled every inch of the space a ghost of the past. she’s gone and it’s over. they’ve had fights, of course. you can’t spend 8 years together and not have them. but every time, they’ve communicated, worked it out and come back stronger. looking back, paige knows that it wasn’t like this - those were the trial runs, and this is the real fucking deal.

paige just sort of collapses right there in her hallway, crumpling into a ball on the wooden floorboard as she cries and cries and cries, the tears streaming down her face echoing the relentless rain pouring outside. she thinks about speaking to God for solace, the way she always does, but she’s realises that she can’t. she realises that she’s angry at Him, so angry she can’t even feel Him. she looks for God, but the sky is empty. it almost breaks her. it sets her tears off all over again.

it’s embarrassing and pathetic and awful yet paige can’t find it in herself to care, not even when she hears the faint buzzing coming from her right pocket, her mum facetiming her. she’s unsure how much time has passed, seconds or minutes or hours or days, as she answers the call.

“paige, i’m just got a text from azzi asking me to tell you she’s at the airport, what’s going-” amy stops when she sees paige, tears streaming down her face that she can’t be bothered to wipe off. amy takes one look and blanches - she knows, of course she knowns. theres only one thing in the world it could be, one thing that could break paige so completely, and for not the first time she placates and placates and curses herself for being so far away from her daughter. her baby girl who looks as if in physical pain, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to keep her heart inside her chest.

“paige? tell me whats wrong sweetie?” she sounds like she is trying to stay calm but her voice has a frantic edge to it and paige knows she must be in a state for her mum to sound like that.

“its…i… we-” and that’s all she can get out because how does she explain that she and azzi are over? the love of her life, her other half for the better part of a decade has left and isn’t coming back.

“okay, it’s okay sweetheart, we don’t have to talk about it, alright? let's get up and maybe go to bed, whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

that just sets paige off all over again, making her cry harder, because it is categorically not okay, it will never be okay, and there is nothing she can do or anything her mum can say to make it okay. amy watches over a feeble iphone screen as her eldest daughter makes it to her bed, curling into the corner and pulling the blanket (that she had bought specifically for azzi’s visits, knowing the girl is immune to the texan heat) over herself. it makes it hurt more, to smell her on the fabric that they were wrapped up in together not even twenty four hours ago, watching love island and judging the terrible relationships and even more terrible breakups. she does it anyway.

tears are still running down paige’s cheeks but they’re silent now, the sobs ebbing into hiccups and she thinks she must have been crying in the hall for a long time because she’s exhausted all of a sudden.

“you’re okay sweetheart” her mum says, and paige hears her voice full of relief. she feels bad in some corner of her mind that isn’t filled with azzi, azzi, azzi, for scaring her. 

paige gulps, knows she needs to rip the bandaid off, claw it off her skin, and it's with that that she clears her throat and then just spits the words out, fast and broken “me and azzi have split up.”

and there it is, the truth, out in the open. the thing paige swore would never happen, the thing she brushed off every time someone told her that teenage love doesn't last. it feels impossible, but it’s not and now her mum knows and she doesn’t even have an explanation to give her.

“paige… i can’t - are you sure?” amy asks, stunned, even though she knew, like it was the last thing she’d expected her to say.

“yes mum i’m pretty fucking sure” paige says, angry and hurt, furious with herself, with azzi, with god, with the whole fucking world. 

“it’s just…you two always sort these things out…”

she knows her mum means well, that she loves azzi like she’s her own daughter, but hearing this isn’t helping, because she was there, and it was different this time. the words ‘if im such an inconvenience, maybe we should just fucking end things!’ still ringing in her ears, azzi’s voice loud and resentful and then paige had lost it, devastated and furious that the words had even come out of azzi’s mouth like they cost her nothing, and she had replied with ‘you know what, maybe we fucking should’ and that had been that, the words that cost her everything, the catalyst for them to shout every single hurt that has been building for months at each other.

“it’s over mum and i don’t want to talk about it okay. i just want to go to bed and be rested for practise” and cry some more without upsetting you is what she doesn’t say.

“okay okay, i’m sorry. try to get some rest okay? i'll call you tomorrow, maybe things will look better in the morning.”

after reassuming and re-reassuring her mum that she’ll be okay, she hangs up the phone. paige only takes a second to stare at the find my app, her eyes boring into azzi’s location at dallas airport as if she willing to reach her, send her a telepathic message that she loves her and that she's so sorry and fuck, what were they even fighting about. but she too far away, untouchable in the encasings built by resentments of months past, and paige can do nothing but turn her phone off, knowing that in a moment, her teammates would be blowing up her phone, having received a frantic message from her mum to check on her.

she’s not in the mood to see anyone, can barely fathom leaving this bed and this blanket and azzi’s smell. she looks around and my god she's fucking everywhere, a hoodie of hers she’s forgotten (well really it was paige’s, but after multiple back and forth they’d lost track of who it actually belonged to) strewed on her chair, her empty coffee mug on the bedside table, beside a vibrator paige had only bought a few days ago, anticipating azzi’s visit. it feels insane that they had sex today, that in less than twenty four hours their entire eight year relationship has imploded before her eyes. a third of her life just gone.

she quickly opens her bedside drawer and pushes the mug with half drunk contents, along with the unwashed vibrator into it. its disgusting but she simply cannot look or do anything else, thinks ‘i’ll deal with that tomorrow’, before she burrows herself further into the duvet, and starts to cry again. she’ll wake up tomorrow, and clean her room, and go to training, and pretend to care about her last regular game for the season but for right now, she drowns herself completely in the smell of azzi’s perfume and her own misery.

[xtarmanderx]

I’ve been thinking this over for a few days now trying to decide if I wanted to say anything. And here’s the thing. OP is completely valid in not wanting fandom to disappear inside community spaces that are locked and only certain people have access to them. Community is meant for everyone.

What I will say is this about my own personal experience.

I did not actively engage in fandom beyond reblogging here on tumblr until I joined discord nearly a decade ago. I was posting about Thiam on my main blog and someone randomly reached out to me in a message and asked if I would be interested in joining a discord about the ship. I had never even fucking heard of discord at the point. So I sat down on my steps in the evening and downloaded the app and made myself an account. Joined a server that was incredibly active with hundreds of people and I was welcomed with open arms. (Shoutout to Kate for pulling me aboard and we have remained friends ever since!)

Discord became the place where I found community. Where I found people who encouraged me to write fics and make art. I had never considered writing fanfics until I was actively talking to other people in a community and received so much encouragement and enthusiasm from my new friends. I would not be the creator I am today without discord. The whole reason I am active on this tumblr again and writing is because of discord friends.

The layout of discord isn’t perfect. And I have talked off and on with a friend about this a few times, but a BIG problem I see in discord communities is people will celebrate fics and art but never tell the creator of said piece how much they love it. Which becomes a bigger fandom problem: How does your favorite creator know that you like their work if you never actually tell them? We are not mind readers. (And for me, I fucking love kudos on works, but sometimes I do wish more people commented even if it’s just a heart.)

For me, discord provides a safe space to engage in fandom with similar people who have the same interests as me. I made a discord for a ship I created because someone asked me to make a tumblr community for them and I felt super overwhelmed by that, so I offered a discord instead. There’s roughly a dozen people on it and about half of us are active the other half lurk. Which is fine! People don’t need to engage 24/7 to be a part of a community.

I think discord can be fast paced for a lot of people, too. My friends and I will talk for literal hours in a channel and that’s sometimes hundreds of messages and that can be overwhelming to people. I think the biggest thing is to remember that conversations are never going to simply stop. It’s okay and welcome to jump in at any moment.

Discord isn’t for everyone. But I don’t think it’s going to make fandom disappear behind closed doors by any means.

please promise me fandom won't disappear entirely into discord servers, i'm too old and employed for that

[angelltheninth]

Hey I got into arcane recently. The art is just so goooooood. A feast for the eyes really. And everyone is hot like… help. Anyway, sorry for this loser request, but if you haven’t already can you do arcane characters with a virgin fem partner please

Loser request? I really hope that the loser part isn't that the virgin part, because I will have you know Anon that I am no loser. I am on my way to becoming a wizard!

Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Maddie Nolen, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, kissing, virginity loss, gentle sex, praise, cunnilingus, size kink, fingering, orgasm encouragement, aftercare

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions

A/N: I'm also asexual so my chances of becoming a wizard are higher than your average persons. Only a few more years and I can be a better version of Harry Potter! Chat please tell me you know the meme I'm referencing and I don't sound like I'm crazy.

Was surprised for sure

She doesn't exactly have a ton of experience either but she has some

Can't say she's not excited about taking your virginity

Literally vibrates with excitement and anticipation of having sex with you and being the first one to make you come

At least as orgasms that are given by someone else that is, she would like to watch you fuck yourself sometime

Gets pussydrunk so easily, her grin smug and eyes literally shimmering

Really into making you ride her face, as you will learn over the course of your first night together

Has so much stamina that you can never even hope to keep up with but she never expected you to

Flattered that she could make you come just with her tongue

But wants to work on your stamina in the future

At first she thinks that she should tease you about it

Then she thinks better of it, since it's not exactly something to be ashamed of, she didn't mean anything bad by her teasing either

It's just... she knows she's not your first girlfriend, so how come you never had sex before

Nerves, well in that case she'll go slow with you, make sure you're not overwhelmed by her

Enthusiastic as she is she holds back, her fingers spreading you open slowly, only pushing them in a bit and then stopping fully

Doesn't stop talking dirty to you, grinning smugly when she feels your pussy tightening around her fingers

Likes it when you're flustered around her, not when you're uncomfortable

Cocky for sure, especially when she manages to make you come and didn't even need to touch your clit to do it

If she did she would have overstimulated you, you were already shaking so much

Keeps assuring you that you don't need to return the favor, but would love it if you do

Been a while since she slept with a virgin so she's actually a little nervous as well

Romantic dates, candle lights, relaxing baths, a massage, she pulls out every trick in the book to make it the best night ever

There's a lot of soft touching and affirmations from her

Has to battle a smile when you're blushing because she's making you feel good

Asks what makes you feel good when you're doing it by yourself and tries to do the same

Experimenting can come later, she wants to make your first time a nice experience, a memorable experience

Kisses down your body, almost like she's worshiping you

Seeing you sopping wet for her definitely helps her know she's doing a good job before she dives forward to eat you out

Tells you to pull her hair a lot, she won't mind

Keeps saying how pretty you are, how beautiful your moans sounds, how she wants to be the only one you moan for from now on

Feels really happy and excited that you'd trust her enough to be the first person to sleep with

Very touchy with you, not just as she's undressing you but in general, so it doesn't feel like it's too much when she guides you to the bed

Grinning she pulls you into a deep kiss and wraps her arms around you to press you against her, thighs sliding between each other

She guids your hips to move against her thigh, chuckling when she feels how slick you're making it

Kisses you the whole time because it's her favorite thing to do and because she knows it'll calm you

Doesn't go for penetration for your first time

But really wants you to sit on her face and to fuck you with her tongue

Subtly writes her name on your clit

Won't rush you into an orgasm, she lets you chase it on your own, her hands soothing against your trembling thighs

Post-orgasm cuddles are some of her favorite things so don't think this will be a one time thing

Before you told him you were a virgin he was a lot more relaxed

Now he feels a kind of pressure on himself to make your first time good

His first time was a quickie and not that memorable at all

So as your boyfriend he wants to give you a better experience and make sure you remember it for the rest of your life

Teases you to cover up his own nerves

He talks to you a lot, particularly when he's getting ready to push his cock into you

Before he does he does warn you that it can be painful but it won't last long

Shakes while pushing his cock into you, he really wants to fuck you but he's holding himself back, he's being considerate of you

Keeps his thrusts slow, smiling down at you before he pulls you into a gentle kiss, telling you how good you feel around him

Leaves it up to you if he pulls out or not

Genuinely surprised, so surprised he drops a glass and it breaks

Doesn't think you should be embaressed by it at all

Some people take a lot of time to feel safe and comfortable to be intimate with others

He's actually pretty flattered that you want him to be the one who took your virginity

Knows he's on the bigger size in terms of dick size so he really doesn't expect you to be able to take all of him, maybe half if you're lucky

It can be too much for your first time

You can just make up for it by giving him a really nice handjob

Pulls you onto his lap and wants to cuddle you afterwards, he was always pretty protective and caring towards you

Now that he's your lover you can expect that his protective tendencies will get even stronger

Surprised when you want to go again so soon but he won't argue with you

Had a feeling you were inexperienced but he didn't want to say anything

Then you might feel pressured into having sex with him and that's the last thing he wants

Besides if he was only after sex then he could get it easily

He wants more than just a one night stand, by now you know that he cares about you and wants this to be a serious relationship

Just because he's serious about this doesn't mean he can take the day off

Actually he thinks it might be better if happens spontaneously

His cock is rock hard when he pulls you onto his lap when you tease him in his office

You need to learn that there are consequences for your actions

Keeps his hand on your mouth as he fucks his cock into you, it would be bad if you were interrupted for your first time and you don't get that orgasm you've been so desperate for

From this moment on he expects you to be at his full disposal and he will be at yours, naturally, there's a lot you still need to learn about pleasuring a man like him

Tries to hold back her cocky smirk but she just can't, oh this is too good, a hot lady like you and no one's fucked you yet

Just means she gets to be the first one to show you how good sex can be

After she's done with you there won't ever be anyone else that'll be able to satisfy you like she could

Has to brag about her skills but won't make fun of you for your lack of skills

Offers to do it in the 69 position so you can mimic her movements

The best way to teach is a hands on method, or in this case the mouth and tongue on

Even though your own movements are a little clumsy and you can't focus all that well you still try to follow her lead the best you can and believe her she loves that hard working side of you

Smokes after sex, that's a habit at this point

But the catch is that she smokes after really good sex so you should take that as the highest of compliments

How soon can you go again because she would love to keep you going all night long

Well he doesn't have much experience to speak off either

So you can both learn new things, you don't have to be nervous around him

Gets hard for you really easily and has to focus to keep himself from coming too soon

Usually this isn't a problem for him but you've been the object of his fantasies and dreams many times before, he hopes this isn't another one of those fantasies

But the moment he pushes his finger inside of you he's convinced it's real, it feels right, to pleasure you, to love you

Keeps rubbing his cock while fingering you, he wants to show you he's just as eager and excited for this as you are

He moves really damn fast when he finally pushes his cock into your pussy, he can't help himself, he can't hold back, it's almost overwhelming

After he feels your inner walls pulsing and massaging his cock he slows down just a little

Not fully slow, but enough to get some control over himself

Doesn't want you get you pregnant on your first night together but in the future you can discuss such things

Almost comes in his pants from excitement

Now that would be embarrassing, for him not for you, he bets you'd love to see that

Someday maybe you will but for now he wants to focus on your pleasure not his

Eats you out like he's been starving for eternity

You have to push him away to get him to stop, your juices dripping from his mouth and into his beard, making it all shiny

Kisses your thighs, covers them with kisses and bites actually, same with your pussy

His eyes roll back when he bottoms out inside of you, he honestly didn't think you'd want all of him for your first time but you were very determined

That determination should be rewarded

He has always been the giver, he loves making his lover feel pleasure, especially if he's the first one to do that for her

You won't escape his arms when he wraps them around you from behind, pampering the back of your neck and shoulders with lazy, appreciative kisses after sex

You should have told her this information sooner, then she wouldn't have flirted with you so hard

Not that she regrets having you naked in her bed or anything like that, the opposite is true, she thinks she should have given you more time to fall into her bed

But if you're still sure you want to do this with her tonight then she will be more than happy to give you pleasure until the Sun rises

Always had a way with words and praise is no different

She might be three fingers deep in your pussy and making you squirt but she'll be damned if she'll stop talking about how sexy you are or how lucky she feels tonight

Never been much of a cuddler, she was always very guarded, but this is a special occasion

Of course she'll let you return the favor

Don't worry about clumsiness or anything like that, just do what feels right, do what makes you feel good

Trust that she'll tell you if it doesn't feel good

She doesn't really do one night stands but she also doesn't sleep over at other people's places a lot, so if you want to do this again you're gonna have to make your intentions clear next time

[mtcloudsworld]

Olay!

Imagine Jason (who ever dawg idk it’s your page) and like a reader who everyone thinks (batfam) is SUPER STUPID BUTTTTT actually she’s a huge science teacher and got her masters degree young

Don’t forget to DRINK WATER AND EAT FOOD AND GO TO BED

- Olay!

Naw wait because imagine! You are smart right? You just be on some goofy goober type shit is all.

Jason never really mind it. He loved you regardless.

However, stupidity aside, when you really get down to the nitty gritty, you can really talk your shit, almost as if you were speaking a different language -- you know what you know and you don't back down from it.

Went through 4+ years to get that masters, put your blood sweat and tears into earning that degree and got an occupation as a science teacher, only to be perceived as stupid by others 💀💀💀

When you meet the rest of the bat family they just honestly believed you were stupid.

Ouch, I know, but could you really blame them?

The things you say and the things you do just don't really add up. Lol you just be on some dumb shit, can't never be taken seriously.

But let somebody ask you a chemistry, physics, computer science, astronomy or biology related question... you're on it, ASAP.

I'm talkin' standing on business.

It's crazy to hear such words fly right out of your mouth.

The bat family were collectively working on a very hard case, one that even Bruce or Gordon couldn't even crack themselves.

Freeze, Bane, Scarecrow, and Poison Ivy were all obviously involved and none of them would tell Bruce what's in this newly improved toxin they've created.

"How are we supposed to crack this shit if none of them wanna tell us the code?" Tim groan, running his fingers through his hair, wanting nothing more than to yank it out of frustration. "Ivy said this could wipe all of Gotham with just a single touch."

"Even the bat computer can't crack it." Barbara states frowning in disbelief.

Everyone huffs and groans as the screen blinked error and access denied.

Kate grumbles, "Well then who else can crack it? Cause just standing here doing nothing is starting to piss me off. We only have two more hours till this shit disburse over all of Gotham."

After five minutes still huddled up in the bat cave, tired and annoyed, in came Jason strolling in with a chili dog in one hand and soda in the other hand.

"I might know somebody who may be able to solve it." Jason states placing himself on the leather chair by the computer.

"What? Who?" Kate asks standing up straighter to approach him.

"Y/n" he says it so causally before stuffing his face with the chili dog and downing it with a soda.

When I tell you...the silence was so loud...

Everyone looked at him as if he was stupid.

But he just sat there, all nonchalant and shit, acting as if what he just said made perfect sense.

"..."

"That dumby?"

"Damian!" Barbara scolds smacking him upside the head.

"What?! Y'all know she's not the smartest. What? Don't act like you all don't think it! It's pretty obvious!"

Dick sighs, "Jason, now's not the time to be funny alright? Can you be serious for once in your life?"

"...I am." He eyes all of them with a straight face, "they have a master's degree in science."

Now they're all confused. Very, very, very confused.

"The fuck you mean they have a masters in science?!" Kate quizzes.

"How can a person so stupid have a masters in science?" Dick asks.

"That seems very questionable." Tim murmurs and Damian scoffs, "More like impossible."

Jason huffs with a roll of his eyes, "y'know what? Let me just-- hold on." He says standing from his seat to walk off somewhere private for a moment.

Luckily you answered, it's midnight on a Friday and normally you'd be in bed by now but you were sat criss cross applesauce on the couch with your pajamas on watching a movie with a bag of popcorn settled in the middle.

Although you were happy to see your baby you were slightly annoyed he called you on the best part of the movie. And so when he debrief with you what's going on, you being the loving partner that you are willingly hopped in your car and drove all the way to Wayne Manor to help them crack this case.

Like I said before, when you talk about science related questions, it's like you're speaking a WHOOOLE different language. So when you tell them what they're dealing with, everyone is confused and astonished. astonished because you knew what the fuck you're talking about. It was as simple as 1 2 3.

So, putting in lamest terms made everything make more sense. They honestly couldn't believe you cracked the code and that you figured out what components to use to reverse the toxin.

And after saving Gotham with the help of your genius ass, let's just say they kept you in touch in case of any other emergencies.

Now look you may have some stupidity in you but you're really chill. Everyone doesn't understand it but they vibe with you nonetheless.You can't help it, it's just you being you.

Now, anon, I can ask the same for you. Make sure you eat good okay? I want my anon to be fed well, drink some water I know your body is dying from dehydration, get as much rest as you can yeah? 😊

OLAY!

- ☁️

[jordiemeow]

i love ur preacher’s daughter x dodge! thinking about them doing everything *but* actual sex cause it’s “not a sin” that way

warnings: smut, 18+, f!receiving oral, handjob, everything but fucking tbh, mentions of religious guilt, reader watches him touch himself, a little bit of manipulation...

notes: not proofread i’m nauseous and horny ab cowboys so here x

Dodge knew what he was getting into when he started dating you. That sweet girl that blushes and sputters when he suggests anything more than a kiss. Even a peck on the mouth had your cheeks hot to the touch and eyes averted at the start of your relationship.

But you're getting there. Or rather... he's getting there. Slowly but surely, you're growing more receptive to his subtle demands for more. You stop protesting when his tongue slips into your mouth, or his hand slides a little too far up your skirt. No more making excuses to go when your goodnight kiss in his truck gets a little too heated.

He takes it as his sign to push a little further. As far as your daddy knows, you're at Bible study with your friends. Not sitting with your knees planted on either side of Dodge, his tongue exploring the warm cavern of your mouth as his hands massage up and down the back of your thighs under your dress. There's a movie playing from his TV—Pride and Prejudice borrowed from his sister, because you dubbed the rest of the DVD sets under his bed 'too inappropriate.' Bless your poor little heart.

It's clearly long forgotten. The pair of you are more focused on swallowing each other's soft moans to care about the quartet playing behind you. And then, suddenly, you feel a finger glide over the front of your white underwear, and you jolt forward, forehead bumping against his.

"D-Dodge—"

He hardly flinches at the collision, smiling so innocently at you that you're almost convinced it never happened. "What?"

"You can't—" You take a moment to collect yourself. Swallow thickly. "Too much."

"Why?" His head tilts.

"Because it's a sin," you reply, as if he's stupid. "You can't touch me there. The... the good Lord's watchin'!"

"He watches everything else we do. Why's this any different?"

He has to swallow back a laugh when he watches the way your brows pinch together as you think that through. Logic is very hard to come by when his hand is still resting on the inside of your thigh.

"Well, it's almost—" You pause, lowering your voice to a hushed whisper, "—sex."

Dodge smiles. How cute.

"It's not sex, sweetheart," he says, mimicking your hushed tone. His other hand moves up to pet the back of your head as if to console you. "Don't count unless there's penetration."

You eye him warily. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what's the Bible say about it? No sex without intention to procreate 'n' all that bullshit?" He ignores your pout at the way you call the teachings bullshit. "Can't even be sex if my cock—"

"Dodge."

"What else am I supposed to call it?"

"Just don't say it at all!"

He sighs. Starts over again. "What I'm tryin' to say is that a little bit of touching ain't a sin. No penetration. Not even like our..." He pauses to search for the most appropriate word he can think of. "Parts... will be touchin'."

You frown a little, mulling that over in your head. Well, it makes sense to a certain extent. Besides, if touching in any capacity is a sin, you're already going straight to Hell for how many times he's had a calloused hand cupping your breast or squeezing your ass. It still just seems like a little much though...

"But the sin is lust, not the actual— oh—"

His fingers brush over you again, and the innocent smile from earlier isn't so innocent anymore when you meet his eyes. "Stop worryin' your pretty little head, darlin'. I promise you it's not a sin. Right hand up to God." Funny, considering his right hand is currently the one snuck under your dress and touching your clothed cunt.

You try again. "But Dodge—"

"But what?" He says, fingers dragging back and forth against you in a way that has your thighs pressing together instinctively. "You don't trust me?"

You shake your head. "No, no, I trust you."

He hums. "So, what, you don't want it? Is that it?"

The truth is, you do want it. He's hardly doing more than lazily rubbing you through your panties and there's already an unfamiliar stirring in your gut. Like the build-up of something that could be absolutely explosive. The Big Bang, your brain traitorously supplies. Now you feel even worse. You've never even tried to touch yourself before—considered it, sure, but any time your hand ended up toying with the inseam of your sleep shorts it was quick to retract. You've had to apologise to the picture of Mary overlooking your bed a few times for the almost-slips.

"... No," you lie, straight through your teeth.

But he laughs. He's no idiot. He can see the way your gaze is fixed on his forehead rather than his eyes. Can feel the way your thighs clench tighter with each drag of his fingers, your cunt pulsing a little too eagerly for someone who doesn't want this. "No?" He repeats mockingly. His mouth moves to hover right by your ear, and you shiver at the warm puff of air against it. "Then why are you so wet?"

"Well, that's... that's natural!" You insist weakly.

"Is it?" He muses. "You always walk around with your panties damper than a horse's back on a summer's day?"

You wither under the amused look he gives you. You know he's just being an ass now. But there's a glint in his eyes—not quite mischief, something a little darker than that. Something that makes any thoughts of the fiery depths turn to mush.

"... Promise it's not a sin?" You ask tentatively.

Dodge offers you the pinky of his other hand, and the one between your legs stills for just a moment. Your lip catches between your teeth, indenting the soft flesh as you weigh up the truth behind his words. Deep down, a part of you knows that he's just bullshitting you to get his way. You could be about to commit the most heinous sin imaginable and he wouldn't give two shits.

... But then his hand starts back up again, and before you know it, your pinky is looped through his.

It doesn't take long before your dress is hitched up and you're on your back, hair spilling over his pillow. Your panties are discarded somewhere on the floor, a leg hooked over his shoulder as his mouth laps at your sensitive parts. What started as kitten licks and gentle circles of his fingers quickly turned into something else.

Now you feel as if he's trying to devour you.

"S’that good, sweetheart? Feel nice?"

"Nggghh, yeah. Oh my goodness—"

There's been a few times where he's been tempted to slip a finger in. Ease you open, feel the way you tighten around his digits when you climax for the first time. But he'd said no penetration, and Dodge has a feeling you'd be on his ass about semantics. He'll work you up to that eventually, he's sure of it.

So he sticks to working you over with his mouth. Eagerly lapping up the sweet juices your cunt provides him with every time his thumb flicks over your clit just right, his other hand threaded through one of your own. Thumb reassuringly rubbing over the back of your knuckles despite the faster pace his other hand is taking.

And despite the fact his mouth is mostly occupied, he doesn’t stop talking you through it the entire time. "Just like that, angel. Keep makin’ those pretty sounds for me. Y’sound so sweet. Taste so sweet."

Or he tuts. "Keep your legs open. That’s it, uh huh. That’s my girl."

A groan this time. "Fuck, can’t believe I waited so long to do this. S’heavenly, baby."

Neither of you even notice the credits of the movie rolling. All you can hear is your own keening moans and the lewd sound of his tongue lapping at your pussy. The feeling is foreign, unfamiliar, but the peak of ecstasy you're approaching has you thinking life in eternal Hell might not be so bad if this is what you get to experience down there.

That thought is quickly cut off when your orgasm crashes over you. Sudden, overwhelming, your back arching up off the bed as your entire body jolts with pleasure. You swear you black out for a minute, and he takes great pleasure in the way your lashes flutter and your eyes roll back.

The greatest part of all is the cry you let out. "Yes, Dodge, God, yes, yes, yes!" It's blasphemous, the way you worship both him and the Lord in one breath.

He works you through it diligently. Not a drop goes to waste, and he's still moaning against you when your own whimpers die down. When he's fully sated and some of the trembling in your body has subsided, a firm kiss is placed against your inner thigh before he rises back up your body to tuck your hair behind your ear.

All you can manage is a dopey smile, and he grins crookedly. "Worth it?"

"I think so," you say breathlessly.

When you drop to your knees by your bed that night, Rosary beads threaded through your fingers and head bowed, you apologise profusely. But you haven't been smote down yet, maybe you'll be okay.

... Maybe.

It becomes a bit of a routine after that. Whether it's in his truck with your leg hitched up on the dashboard or when he has the house alone, Dodge just can't get enough of eating you out. And every time, you go back to pretending it never happened. You're still daddy's little angel.

There's a pleasant buzz running through your body as Dodge tugs your underwear back up for you, looking just as smug as ever. Dimpled smile, chin still slick with your wetness, as he eases your skirt back down for you. One would think it'd get less intense over time... but God, he has your toes curling and legs trembling each time his mouth descends on your cunt.

"Y'know," he starts, sitting up on his knees and giving your dishevelled state an approving once-over. "I think I might go a lil' insane if I don't get some attention of my own."

It's enough to give you pause. Fair enough—he's spent the last few weeks nestled between your folds and never once asked you to return the favour. But you've never touched a man like that before.

He catches your hesitation. Reaches out to thumb at your cheek, gaze softening a little. "Ain't gotta do nothing, sweetheart. But the blue balls are killin' me."

Blue balls. You almost roll your eyes. "So... what, then?" You ask, shifting to sit up as your fingers curling into the soft fabric in your lap.

He doesn't reply right away. Tilts his head, gauges your expression. "Can I show you? Won't take much. You ain't gotta touch me or nothin'."

Don't even have to touch him... you cast a cursory glance to his door, even though there's nobody home. Your lip is already bitten raw from stifling sounds all evening, but you're back to biting at it.

"Okay."

"Okay?" His eyes light up. He leans forward, a hand braced on your knee. "You sure?"

"Doesn't count if there's no penetration," you parrot the words he told you weeks ago. He smiles. "And... you said I don't have to do anything, right? Bit of watchin' can't hurt."

"Just lookin'," he affirms. For now, anyways.

His hand leaves your thigh to undo the buckle of his jeans, and your eyes follow the movement. There's a lump in your throat and you know you're going to be repenting for this one tonight. Maybe it's time to find some other church to confess at. Certainly not your father's, but you need to get this off your chest somewhere.

His jeans are pulled open, the tension easing off the bulge that seems to be straining there every time he gets his mouth on you. It doesn't take much for his cock to be freed, jeans and boxers down just enough to put him on display.

You swallow. You're definitely going to Hell.

You've seen pictures of them in passing. Dicks, cocks, penises. Whatever vile name the youth has come up with these days. The kind of pictures shared between a few girls at a sleepover, or a cock shown during a movie your father wouldn't approve of you watching. You've never been close enough to see one like this, though. Aching and leaking under the weight of your darkened eyes.

He takes note of your expression. The lust mixing with guilt.

"A little different in person, huh? No camera lenses?" He teases.

"Dodge, shut up. Just... just get on with it, please."

He rolls his eyes but obliges. Can't have you suddenly changing your mind because he gets a bit too cheeky. A firm hand wraps around him, and he begins to stroke himself. Slowly at first, watching the way your lips are parted and the breaths you take seem sharper. The quick rise and fall of your chest doesn't go unnoticed to him.

Feels real fuckin' good to be watched, though. Each jerk of his palm smears pre-cum down his throbbing length, the slick slide obscenely loud in the quiet of his bedroom. A low moan escapes him. Rough, completely unrestrained, so loud it almost makes you jump.

Your gaze snaps up to his face to watch the way his brow pinches with pleasure. You've never seen him like this—is this how you look when he's between your legs? The thought makes you flush. God. He's pretty like this, head tilted back and eyes half-lidded as he watches you absorb every second of his pleasure like it's your own. It's beautiful. It's wonderful. Breath-taking, staggering, perfect—

Sacrilege. Blasphemous. Impious.

You swallow thickly, but you can't take your eyes away.

"You, uh, sure you don't wanna get in on this?" He asks, his voice rough in a way you've never heard before. You find your thighs clenching again as you look back down to the filthy way he's started to fuck up into his fist.

"Dodge."

"What?" He asks innocently, a breathy note to his words. "I'll let you in, sweetheart. Just a little touch. Wouldn't have to do nothin'. Let me do all the heavy-liftin', eh?"

You shouldn't. You've done enough sinning for a lifetime over the last few weeks. Cried yourself to sleep a few times, too. And yet you go against every value that's been instilled with you for years to just touch.

A tentative little brush of your fingers against the underside. It's careful, hesitant and soft. His breath grows ragged. "That ain't so bad, is it?"

You shake your head. "And the... the white stuff. That's a good thing, right?"

"Real good," he laughs. He can feel himself tensing up; you aren't doing much to help, not physically, but with the pressure of his own hand and the way your eyes are on him... Lord, he won't be lasting much longer.

There's a pretty pink flush to his cheeks now. Eyelashes fluttering with each heavy breath, and the way his neck is exposed is giving you the strangest desire to lean in and kiss it. Bruise it, even. Your eyes avert guiltily, hand back in the safety of your lap.

"No, no, no. C'mon. Eyes on me."

"I can't, this is—"

"Please," he rasps. The hint of desperation catches you by surprise. "Want you to see it happen."

Heavenly father, please forgive me. Your eyes are on him again, watching the way his hips lift off the bed. It creaks with each movement, each glide of his hand down his cock. And that little flicker of scrupulosity in your eyes is what sends him over the edge.

"Fuck, yeah, I'm gonna— ah, ah, ah—" His cock pulses, white ropes coating his hand and the hem of his shirt. Face contorted in pleasure, eyes screwed shut as he makes a sound you've never heard from him before.

A whine.

You shuffle back a little—disgusted or intrigued by the sight of the cum spilling out of him, you aren't sure. But you're completely enraptured by the look on his face and the gasps that escape his parted lips. The only sound in the room for a few moments is his heavy breathing as he strokes lazily through the last of his orgasm, pleasure still buzzing faintly through him.

And when your eyes finally meet, you both laugh. Dodge's is hoarse. Yours is a little tentative. And then your sides are shaking and eyes twinkling. God, you can't believe that just happened.

"That's never happening again," you tell him. He grins, like he knows you're lying.

You are. You do it again. And again, until you're bold enough to be the one doing the stroking. It's only a matter of time before his little no penetration excuse goes out the window.

taglist: @gracelynnx @tacobacoyeet @blastzachilles @cha11engers @magicalmiserybore @newrochellechallenger2019 @coolgrl111 @artspats @peachyparkerr @stanart4clearskin @misswrldd @kaalxpsia @downtwngrl @s0ftcobra @strfallz @dazedandconfusedlvr @turnerrst @m4lodr4ma @artdonaldsonmalewife @challengersism @elsieblogs @artstennisracket

[luviisabella]

healing with luviisabella ۶ৎBNHA UNI.AU

(short series, fluff) part two

-> katsuki bakugou

———————————————————————

You turned off your phone the minute you sent the texts. You figured it’s best to not occupy your mind with “what if..” and instead got up and walked to the kitchen for a snack.

It was 1am almost 2 so it wasn’t a surprise to see the dorms so quiet, however you were also aware some of your classmates were on patrol or heading out. The good thing about being a university student is you get a little more freedom but you’re still subjected to the “rules of a hero”, that being, late night patrols. Lucky for you Mina had taken your place because she needed the hours and you technically were well over.

You opened the fridge and were happy o be faced with the batch of cookies you and Denki made earlier that day. Warm chocolate chip cookies, well, now they were cold.. you quietly took out a plate and placed a couple before tossing them in the microwave to melt them.

That little bit of freedom I mentioned before came with a beautiful moonlit view from the kitchen that was connected to a patio deck.. it was nice on summer day when everyone would team up for water gun fights. For now, it just offered a peaceful view. You rested your elbows on the counter and just admired the moon and stars.

You smile slowly dropped as the thoughts you were pushing away slowly crept in.

“Dracula ?”

You hear a gruff voice stepping in closer only to notice it was Bakugou (given the stupid nickname which you earned from doing things like this).

“I’m sorry am i bothering you grumpy ?”

He sucked his teeth before opening the microwave and taking a cookie.

“Wow so generous of you to ask, of course you can have one” you can’t help but roll your eyes at his irritating smug face.

If it weren’t for the fact that your eyes looked a little different, he would’ve went back to his room but something urged him to ask.

“What’s wrong with you ?”

“Excuse me ??”

“You were crying yeah ? I’m asking what’s wrong.”

How the hell did he-

“I’m okay, just tired and my eyes were dry”

“Bullshit. You’re gonna try and lie to my face ?”

While he seemed like an ass, you two were actually pretty close friends, met in pre-school all the way through middle and high school and now.

You hesitated before answering him..

“I texted him..”

And you didn’t even have to say his name for him to know.

“I needed to get something off my chest and it helped. My heart feels lighter, but i still feel a little off.”

Silence…

“He hasn’t responded and probably won’t, whether he does or not i don’t care. I said what i needed to say-“

“Which was ?”

“That i forgave him. I forgave him for what he did and said. For how he hurt me. I told him he didn’t deserve to occupy my space or heart anymore. That i was releasing him from my mind.”

“I deserve better kats’” now you look up at him, met with what looks like a soft gaze.

He nods his head before relaxing against the counter opposite from you.

“That’s it ? A nod..”

“What ? You’ve got it figured out don’t you ?”

He has a point.. you did this for a reason.

“He wasn’t worth your time. I knew that and your bsf did too. You just needed to realize it for yourself and thank fucking goodness you did.”

You’re surprised by his words, Bakugou has his sweet moments but they always seem to catch you off guard.

“You deserve more than you think. Now that you’ve finally let go of someone limiting you of that, you’re gonna get back on your feet.” He reaches over to rest his hand on the top of your head.

“You’ve gotta get your head outta your ass tho.”

Great he ruined the mood.

But now he’s leaned in face to face..

“That love you give everyone else.. you should be giving to yourself. Be selfish.” He stands up and takes a step back.

“Look at how i turned out” as he reaches for another cookie.

Once more you can’t help roll your eyes, he’s such a pain in the ass, but he’s your pain int the ass and you know he always means well.

He loves you in his own way and you’re glad to have him as you learn to grow.

->

he ate all the cookies and you demanded he make a new batch.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Clover-Part 1

Jay Halstead x Reader (nicknamed Clover)

When all else fails run to Jay

Mentions of sex and crooked land deals?

“No no no no” you groaned as you paced out in front of Gaffney. You couldn’t believe this. Your freaking landlord had sold the building. Everyone was getting evicted and had seventy two hours to get out. What the hell were you supposed to do?

“Clover?” Will stopped on his way past you and raised an eyebrow “What’s wrong?” you shrugged “Oh nothing, I’m just effectively fucking homeless” “Huh?” he asked and you waved a hand “Oh you know, shady developers. Money, meaning more than human lives and it not mattering that I’m a freaking trauma nurse that barely has time to breathe let alone find a new place!” 

“How long do you have to get out?” he asked and you nearly teared up “Seventy two hours” he whistled low “Ok, well me and Nat have a storage unit you’re welcome to” you nodded “That helps with that sort of stuff but where the hell am I supposed to live?” he shrugged “Jay has a spare bedroom?” “And I’m supposed to what exactly? Say hey buddy? How’s it going? Can I move in?”

He crossed his arms “Well you can do that or see if the shelter has bed” you groaned and hit Jay’s number, glaring at Will as you did. Jay answered on the second ring. “Hey Clover, how’s my favorite nurse?”

“Wondering if there was anyway possible I could maybe buy you lunch?” you asked and he whistled low “Before I agree how bad is it?” “How bad is what?” you laughed. He scoffed “I just want to know if I’m cashing in little favors with Voight or huge favors” “No favors with Voight at all actually and thanks so much for the confidence in me” he laughed “In that case, meet you at one?” “Ok, see you then” you hung up and Will nodded “He’ll more than likely agree”

You and Jay had been friends for years. You met right after he graduated from the academy because you’d started at med around the same time. You’d patched him up more times than you cared to ever admit. He was your best friend. If there was anyone on the face of this earth that knew damn near everything about you? It was Jay Halstead. You just wished you didn’t have to ask this of him but everyone else you knew either was leasing themselves or only had one bedrooms.

____________________

You sat in the corner booth of the diner you and Jay always grabbed lunch at. When he walked in you waved at him and he smiled before walking over and sliding in across from you “Well I see no marks, I’m not killing anyone. I ran your name, you’ve gotten into no trouble the last few days and not told me so what’s up princess?” you rolled your eyes at the nickname “I need a huge favor” 

He nodded slowly “How huge?” you swallowed hard “Would you be willing to rent me your spare bedroom until I can find a new place or possibly longer if I can't find a new place? My entire building is getting evicted in seventy two hours”

“What? How did those bastards manage that?” he asked and you shrugged “Shady deals, shadier lawyers?” he shook his head, jaw tense “That’s bullshit but yeah..don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about splitting bills and all. I’ll grab Kev and Adam. We’ll help you get your stuff moved” 

“Thank you Jay. I can not thank you enough” you whispered and he grinned “Hey, we’ve been friends for years Clover, I’m not exactly gonna leave you out in the street” you laughed “I appreciate it either way”

“Is that everything?” Will asked as you stacked the last box into his storage unit. You nodded “Yeah, I mean I didn’t really have too much to begin with. Perks of not being a very materialistic person” he laughed “Guess it comes in handy”

You nodded “I’ve put in calls to a couple real estate companies. I don’t want to intrude on Jay any longer than necessary” “I don’t think he’d offer if he minded” he replied and you shrugged “I know but still. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea and giving him a hard time you know? Plus I don’t want to fuck up his dating life. Hard as hell to take a woman home if you get there and I’m making coffee at two in the morning because I can’t sleep”

He laughed “Ok, you do have a point there” you grinned “See” then hugged him “Thank Nat for me too?” “Of course”

_____________________

You walked out of the storage unit and waved to Will before walking to your car. Jay had already given you a key to his place. It was a little weird but it wasn’t like you hadn’t slept at Jay’s before out of necessity and it wasn’t like now wasn’t out of MAJOR necessity.

You climbed in and turned the engine before heading back to Jay’s. He was at work but would be off in an hour or two. He’d be home about an hour before you’d have to go in, at least with your schedules it wasn’t like you’d be on top of each other.

“How’s my brother as a roommate?” Will asked as the two of you stood in line at the coffee kiosk. You shrugged “Actually? A pretty damn good one. He starts coffee for me, takes out the trash after dark. Calls me if he stops at the store to see if I need anything picked up. We split all the bills coming in fifty/fifty. It’s going pretty good. Which is good considering it looks like there are no places to lease within my budget in Chicago”

He nodded “Good to know. Any issues on the worried about messing up his dating life?” you shrugged “Guessing he goes to their place?” he laughed “Sounds like it’s working good and you’re not homeless. I call that a win for everyone involved”

Jay was nothing short of exhausted. The case had kicked everyone’s ass. He just wanted to crash for a while. He unlocked the door and walked into the apartment. The moment he stepped in a laugh fell from his lips. You were in the kitchen, making coffee. The laughter had come from the fact that you were wearing chucky pjs and rainbow socks. 

“Coffee?” you asked with a little smile. “Sure” he replied, dropping his keys on the table next to the door then stripping his jacket off and kicking his shoes off. You pulled down a second mug and poured him a cup. He walked over and took it from you. You turned and hopped up on the counter “You ok?”

“That case finally closed” you nodded slowly “That’s good. You’ve been having bad nightmares the last week” he raised an eyebrow “You can hear me?” you shrugged “Light sleeper. I’m just glad you haven’t brought anyone home. I would need ear plugs” 

He barked out a laugh “I promise I wouldn’t do that to you” you shrugged “Your place” he nodded “Your place too” you shrugged “True but that’s just weird bringing a man into my male best friend’s home” 

He shook his head and nodded to the couch “Want to watch that episode or did you cheat?” you gasped “I did no such of a thing” and hopped off the counter “Come on” he followed you with a smile. 

This whole roommate thing he honestly hadn’t been too sure of when he agreed to it but so far it was working out pretty well. You and him got along good. You shared quarters well. He didn't feel out of place sharing somewhere to live with you. It felt almost too natural. If you did find somewhere else to go, he would more than likely miss you like crazy by now and it hadn't been but a few weeks.

Part 2

[sokkastyles]

Lol this is a nice essay but totally ignores that Zuko renounced belief in colonization and imperialism and became Katara's ally and friend, and that she did forgive him. That's what my original post is about, the fact that the show had Zuko go to great lengths to atone onscreen and had Katara forgive him onscreen. We actually see Zuko learn to respect Katara. We do NOT see Aang learn to respect Katara. You say the kiss was "a bit much" while downplaying Zuko's redemption, and then say that Aang "needed to grow," except that he did not grow. The kiss happened in late season three and is never brought up in the show outside of the episode in which it happens.

I'm sorry, but I wholly reject the idea that Zuko is not a romantic option if he can be Katara's friend, and he canonically is. Also, you missed the point of my post, which is that Zuko grew to respect Katara and Aang did not. If my choices are between a man who had to learn to respect me and my boundaries and was forced to grovel before me in order to earn my trust (a literal romance trope) and an immature child who disrespected my boundaries and sexually assaulted me but he'll never be held accountable and is extremely likely to do it again, I'm picking the first guy every time.

It's also giving the writers too much credit to say that they got the affects of adultification right. Katara experiencing trauma over being parentified is somewhat addressed, but she's still expected to take care of the group's needs and ultimately the show concludes that this is a good thing at the same time that the show uses those traits in Katara as sources of comedy. Also all the kids are more "adult" than real kids because they are cartoon characters in an adventure story. ATLA is not a realistic story about child psychology, nor can it be.

It's also clear that the romance didn't happen because "Viacom needed a romance plot," Bryke have spoken often about their intentions for the romance plot and how it was meant to portray Aang growing into earning Katara's affections and proving he's grown up enough for her. Thus the problems with the kataang romance stem from the inherent fact that it was always driven by being a male fantasy, and the problems that exist aren't accidental, they were done intentionally because the writers don't actually care about how Katara feels. Disregarding what Katara wants and having Aang win her anyway despite being immature and never having to respect her is an essential part of that fantasy. Aang kissed Katara without her consent because the writers want us to identify with his frustration that she hasn't become his girlfriend yet. Aang never apologized for it because the writers don't care about that, people like you downplay the fact that he kissed her without consent because the romance was written from the perspective that Katara's feelings need to change to accommodate what Aang wants. The misogyny is an intentional feature, not a bug. Even if Zuko wasn't the better option (and he is) I think Katara should pick him because fuck that entire narrative.

Edit: I also want to address your tags because you use the word intersectionality but don't seem to understand what it means. It does not mean you "pick the lesser of two evils" (and I am EXTREMELY judging you for insisting that sexual assault is a lesser evil, wtf), it does not mean we should constantly judge people by identity alone. It means that arcs like Zuko and Katara's are actually necessary and should happen more often in shows, where they both have to learn to respect each other, because it's also intersectionality that Katara had to learn how to treat Zuko as someone with a facial disfigurement. Katara learning how Zuko has been victimized by his own family and how that parallels the loss of her mother is also a facet of intersectionality. Being like "oh these two characters can never have a relationship because of identity politics" is NOT intersectionality.

Just saw a post where someone took someone else's post and said that they were "projecting" onto Katara because the OP said that if they were in Katara's position when they were kissed by Aang in EIP after making it clear that she didn't want to be kissed, they wouldn't forgive Aang.

And the thing is, that first of all, projecting isn't a dirty word, it's a normal way to relate to fictional narratives. Second, we actually don't see Katara forgive Aang or even address the kiss in any way other than after she looks upset and angry and then runs out of the room. Audiences can ONLY project onto Katara because we don't actually get to see the resolution to that event from Katara's perspective. We assume she forgave him because she gets together with him in the end, but we aren't actually shown it and we know that they would be endgame whether or not the kiss had happened. Katara's forgiveness of Aang doesn't feel organic because she doesn't actually get the chance to forgive him, so of course audiences are going to question it.

Third, it's actually quite common now for writers and producers to consult audience members, especially those who fit the demographic of a character, on whether that character's actions seem plausible. This is especially true if the writers themselves aren't representatives of that demographic. Katara's actions were written by male writers, so it's not up to them to give the final word on what a teenage girl would do upon being kissed without consent, it is up to female fans to decide whether that rings true. The fact that the writers didn't even bother to show us Katara's perspective further highlights the lack of a female perspective being considered here.

The post in question also said that what Aang did didn't actually hurt Katara, and that she was just "annoyed and angry," but not hurt. And I feel like people who argue this in favor of Katara and Aang's relationship are actually downplaying the relationship quite a bit. Because if Katara loves Aang, she'd feel a whole lot more than annoyed upon being kissed by him after expressing that she was confused and felt that it wasn't the right time. She'd feel incredibly betrayed, she'd feel like he didn't listen to her. She might even question her relationship with him further and start to back away from the feelings of love that she was already hesitant to express, because what Aang is showing her is that he doesn't actually care about how she feels and isn't going to be careful with her feelings if she were to truly give her heart to him. The EIP kiss actually does A LOT of damage to Katara and Aang's relationship, and the fact that it's never actually addressed does even more damage.

I mean, if Katara didn't really care about Aang kissing her without her consent, I'm not sure why I should care about their relationship at all.

The post also brought up that Zuko has done worse to Katara but she forgave him. The thing is that we actually SAW Zuko earn Katara's forgiveness. This is a relationship I can get behind because the show cares about it. The show cares that Zuko hurt Katara and cares about whether or not he gets her forgiveness. Zuko and Katara would not have had a relationship at all without that conflict and its resolution. The show tells me that these two characters care about each other, and it does it without any sort of romantic drama AND without having the guy sexually assault her.

[tgmsunmontue]

Saga of Solitude 21/21

Nepo!Baby Bradley and his life at USNA and afterwards. DADT fully in force. IceMav AU. (Begun prior to 'It's not who you know' - the non-angsty version). (Side Hangster, which is ALSO angsty).

PROLOGUE (He remembers)

HANGSTER FIRST MEETING (Lonely Nights - set 2009)

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

ONE (2000) TWO (2001) THREE (2002) FOUR (2003) FIVE (2004) SIX (2005) SEVEN (2006) EIGHT (2007) NINE (2008) TEN (2009) ELEVEN (2010) TWELVE (2011) THIRTEEN (2012) FOURTEEN (2013) FIFTEEN (2014) SIXTEEN (2015) SEVENTEEN (2016) EIGHTEEN (2017) NINETEEN (2018) TWENTY (2019)

WARNING - this is ~25k long. Sleep first. Or make yourself comfy. Eat something.

HUGE thank you to all the people who have given this a chance, and especially those who have been my cheerleader/s from the start. @phisworld14 especially gets a special shoutout for putting up with me sending her messages constantly about EVERYTHING.

CHAPTER TWENTYONE – EPILOGUE

            “Come home with me?” Bradley asks. Part of him is terrified Jake might say no. He wants to talk, but doesn’t particularly want Ice and Mav within hearing range when he does so. There are limits for his personal groveling and humiliation and he edges them toward the door, leaves their drinks untouched where they are, which will no doubt annoy both Ice and Mav, but he has more important things to think and worry about right now and he hopes they’ll understand.

            “You really don’t live here?” Jake asks as he follows Bradley’s lead and puts his shoes back on.

            “No,” Bradley says, a little horrified. He also bites back the fact that he told Jake a little earlier that he wanted to take him to his parents. “I have my own place, a little closer to base actually.”

            “Okay. Well. I’m at your mercy. You’re my ride.”

            “Tell me where you want to go…” Bradley states, and he doesn’t just mean about vehicular transport. He’ll take Jake back to base if that’s what he wants. Or a diner, somewhere neutral. “You’re the one giving the directions right now…” he offers, and they’ve gone from talking about hot drinks to driving and they’ll get to the point eventually but it feels safer, circling the subject like this.

            “You better be serious about this Bradshaw…” Jake mutters, and Bradley knows then that he understands exactly what Bradley is saying. Offering.

            “Well, you’ve met my parents. Well. Half of them. Wait. Maybe one-third, because my mom and dad are dead…”

            “You’re rambling.”

            “You make me nervous,” Bradley admits, because if they’re going to do this… if he’s going to do this… then he needs to be honest and upfront from the start. At least when he can be, because sometimes he really struggles to identify how he’s even feeling, let alone voice it aloud. He should probably share that fact with Jake.

            “Do I now?”

            “Yeah. Why wouldn’t you make me nervous?”

            “I don’t know. You tell me…”

            “I’m… I’m terrified of fucking this up,” Bradley states, then sucks in a breath. “Again.” he says on an exhale and Jake’s lips twist into a half-smile and he so desperately wants to just lean over and kiss him, instead starts the Bronco and reverses down the driveway.

            “Pretty sure we’ll fuck it up. But…”

            “But?” Bradley asks, hope lacing his question.

            “Well. Bit of a difference between doing it by accident and doing it because you want to hurt someone… think we’ve hopefully moved past the deliberately hurting each other stage.”

            “Yeah. Years ago…” Bradley says, because it’s nothing but the truth, glances across at Jake who is staring out the window.

            “Mmm. Well then. As you said… you’d like to get to know me.”

            “Yeah.”

            “So what am I to you now?”

            “The guy I’m dating. My partner. My boyfriend. All of them… take your pick. Make up a name if you want to.”

            “Hmm. I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

            Bradley isn’t going to say that he has, because he suspects that that’s part of the problem. Jake wanted him to be all of those things years ago, and fuck if he’s only just starting to realize what he almost let slip through his fingers.

            “Then boyfriend it is…” Bradley offers quietly, throat feeling tight and he lets silence fall, focusses on driving but when he feels Jake’s fingers brush over his hand on the stick shift he turns his hand over, squeezes Jake’s hand and turns to smile at him. The tightness in his throat still there and he licks his lips and sucks in a deep shuddery breath. He drives, wants to say something, words tumbling over in his head, half-apology, half-explanation.

            “I’m sorry I wasn’t ready before.”

            “What?”

            “I wasn’t ready to be yours.”

            “Oh. And you’re ready now?”

            “I think I’ve been working on getting ready to be yours for the last decade. More than ready. If you’ll have me…”

            “You’re an idiot.”

            “That’s not an answer Jake…”

            “Well. It sort of is. Of course I’ll have you… even when I hated you I loved you.”

            “Jesus Jake…” Bradley says under his breath, because that’s heartbreaking and he wishes he could go back and change things. Wants nothing more than to reach over and kiss him; instead holds himself back, suspects that maybe they might need to take things a little more cautiously. Ease into an actual relationship with more open communication than they’ve had in the past. The last thing he ever wants to do again is hurt Jake.

…         …         …

            “Did I just hear Bradley?” Maverick asks, head poking around the corner, and he’s toweling himself dry, wearing only his boxers and Tom lets himself step forward and press a kiss to the curve of his shoulder, feels warm at the responding wide grin he gets from Pete.

            “Yes.”

            “Uh. Has he gone already?”

            “He was just here with Seresin.”

            “Hangman? Really?”

            “Maybe finally sorting out their relationship…”

            “Thought you said they didn’t have a relationship…”

            “Well. I think they might be taking the last ten years and trying to turn it into one.”

            “Oof. That’s…” Pete pulls a face and Tom purses his lips, because yes, they’re both familiar with how difficult that can be. “What did they come for exactly?”

            “Does it matter?” Tom asks, because he has his suspicions, given Bradley’s whole head-banging episode against the fridge, and Seresin’s expression as he took in the photos. He hopes it’s had whatever desired effect on Seresin that Bradley was aiming for. Knows Bradley will be wanting… something. Seems to have finally settled into his own skin and he wonders sometimes. “I know we did our best, but sometimes I think Bradley would have been better raised by someone…”

            “Don’t you dare say someone who loved him. We love him.”

            Tom sighs, shakes his head.

            “Maverick. Pete. That isn’t what I was going to say… I think he would have maybe found himself a bit sooner if he hadn’t spent so much of his life trying to live up to an ideal frozen in glass.”

            “What do you mean? Are you talking about Goose?”

            “No. Well. Yes. But… us as well. I’ve had so many people tell me that I must be so proud of him, because of everything he has achieved, everything he’s become. But then I try to recall how often I’ve told him that I’m proud of him and I… I come up empty. I don’t generally tell men under my command that I’m proud of them.”

            “Oh…”

            “Yes. And I don’t know if he’s been trying to live up to Goose, or to you, or to me… but to have any or all of us as people to try and live up to? The fact he’s not more messed up is a small miracle.”

            “You really think that’s what he’s been trying to do?”

            “I don’t know Mav…” Tom sighs, tired suddenly. “But if it were you? I know you had to fight against your own father’s reputation, but imagine having three reputations to either overcome or live up to…”

            “Shit.”

            “Yeah.”

…         …         …

            “So, uh. This is my place… my parents. My uh, real parents that is…”

            “You’re fine Bradshaw. Bradley…”

            He jerks his head, feeling inexplicably awkward and exposed showing Jake his home. This isn’t a place that he shares with people outside of his immediate family. Hearing Jake say his name, the first time he’s called him something other than Bradshaw or Rooster in years makes him feel fragile. He needs something to do with his hands, stop himself from reaching out.

            “You want a drink? I’ve got… a whole range.”

            “Just some water would be good. Stay hydrated and all that.”

            “Yeah, okay. Uh. Feel free to look around. I’ll go and grab some water I guess…”

            “You’re not worried about me finding all your secrets?”

            “You know all my secrets,” Bradley replies, because it’s the truth, and he likes that Jake has followed him into the kitchen.

            “Do I?”

            Bradley opens his mouth, ready to say yes, of course, and then pauses.

            “All the important ones. And I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just ask.”

            Jake takes him at his word, starts asking questions like he’s on a fact-finding mission and Bradley wonders if he’ll ever be given the opportunity to do the same. He doesn’t care if it takes him years to find out all of Jake’s secrets, he’s willing to wait however long it takes. They end up settled on the sofa, facing each other but just within touching distance. Jake continues to ask questions and Bradley continues to answer them.

            He ends up sharing facts about everyone he’s had sex with, that he remembers anyway. He does mention his one threesome but refuses to expound on it further when Jake raises a curious eyebrow. Then he’s talking about his time at the USNA, hiding his relationship with Maverick and Ice, using Tamsin and Petra, along with Sarah to offer a thin smoke screen to anyone just glancing past. His relationship with Natasha, and Jake seems surprised to learn that she’s known all of it for as long as she has. Mutters about her balancing skills and Bradley has no idea what he means by that.

            “Can I ask you a question?” Bradley asks, and Jake nods, waves his hand as if encouraging him to continue and he cannot believe how much he finds him so endearing and amazing.

            “Were you jealous?”

            “Which time?”

            “When you saw me with Tamsin and Petra. Were you jealous?”

            “Trying to stroke your ego there Rooster?”

            Bradley’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t let himself actually smile. He’s starting to realize that Jake uses his callsign when he’s getting defensive. Thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s just learnt a failsafe way of dismantling his walls as easy as breathing, and that’s admitting his own feelings.

            “No. Just wanted to let you know that I would have been, if our roles had been reversed. Fuck. I’m jealous of fucking Coyote some days…”

            “Yeah?” Jake asks, clearly surprised.

            “Yeah. Of course.”

            “You don’t have any reason to be jealous. Coyote is awful in the sack.”

            Bradley barks out a surprised laugh.

            “Is he?”

            “Fucked if I know, but… point stands. You don’t have to be jealous of him.”

            “I’m not jealous of the sex. Hypothetical or otherwise. It’s your close relationship with him. I want that with you.”

            “Well. It’s yours. If you want it.”

            “Yeah. I… I do want it.”

            “It’ll take a while.”

            “Years and years…” Bradley offers, confirms and the smile Jake gives him is small and hesitant, and he returns it, a little wider and brighter because it feels like a weight has lifted. They sit there, looking at each other, fingers just touching, brushing each other and it’s a sharp contrast to so many of their previous interactions. The conversation has left him tired, emotionally drained but also refreshed like he’s had a really good cleansing cry. Then Jake is shifting, moving closer and he holds his breath, watches as Jake kneels awkwardly on the sofa beside him, eyes meeting his.

            The kiss is soft, like spun sugar, delicate in its newness and just as sweet.

            “You want me to take you home? Or do you want to stay? Up to you,” Bradley says softly, and he’s quietly serious, runs gentle fingers down the side of Jake’s face, brushes hair back off his forehead. He’s going to be fine with whatever Jake chooses, whatever he wants; however, he wants to move them forward, his face is schooled into easy acceptance of giving Jake whatever he wants. Then Jake is shifting again, straddling his thighs and he moves a little to accommodate him, lets his hands rest on Jake’s legs, looks up at him and waits for an answer, tries not to get his hopes up.

            “I want to stay.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Take me to bed… please.”

            “Yeah?” Bradley asks again, needing to make sure, and his voice breaks on the question and Jake clearly thinks it’s funny, laughs into his chest, nodding his head.

            “Yeah.”

            He kisses Jake then, lets his hands settle on his hips, fingers reaching around to press into Jake’s ass, grinds them together as best he can and Jake is kissing him, fingers curling and tugging into his hair and he groans, wants Jake everywhere.        

            “Mission parameters?”

            “You’re such a massive dork…”

            “Yep. Guilty.”

            “Just… take me to bed. Then take me apart.”

            He’s not quite sure what Jake means by that, doesn’t want to stop and keep poking and prodding and asking questions. He’s familiar enough with Jake’s body at least to know what he likes and doesn’t like. He braces himself, wonders if this is going to end in hilarity, disaster or a trip to Urgent Care, but he stands, muscles straining as his fingers dig into Jake’s thighs and ass, holding him up. Jake squawking, arms gone tight around Bradley’s neck, and he’s swearing under his breath but he’s pretty sure Jake’s secretly pleased. And his bedroom is close.

            Jake isn’t light, though, and he grunts as he maneuvers around the furniture, distracted a little by the fact that Jake has decided sucking at his neck is a good idea. He pushes him against the wall, readjusts his hold a little so it’s more secure and Jake’s laugh is bright in his ears.

            “If you fucking drop me right now…”

            “We’re both going down before I drop you…” Bradley promises with a grin, because it’s maybe ten steps and he means it. He would rather fall to the floor with Jake in his arms than just drop him to the floor. Jake’s arms are tight around his neck as he takes the steps, and he doesn’t drop him onto the bed, but it’s a close thing and Jake seems to know it, if the amusement in his eyes is any judge.

            “You can carry me next time…” Bradley says wryly, lowering himself to lie as close to Jake as possible without simply lying directly on top of him like he wants to. Then Jake is pulling him, legs spreading to make room for him and Bradley doesn’t need more of an invitation than that, rolls and settles, lets his body blanket Jake and he looks down at him. Lets himself soak in the fact that Jake is here, in his bed, in his home.

            “Hi…”

            “Hi.”

            He grinds his hips a little, not hard, not fast, just… a little bit firmer than the pressure of where he’s resting, covers Jake’s mouth with his own, kisses and licks into his mouth, just sinks into the pleasure of the closeness, the way their bodies are moving against each other, hands exploring and plucking at clothes, fingers finding bare skin.

            “Fuck…”

            “This… okay?”

            “I’ll tell you if it’s not. Promise.”

            That makes him relax a bit, that Jake understands where he’s coming from and it gives him a little flare of promise that a relationship between them might not be quite as fraught with mines as it might have been otherwise.

            “Good. Thank you…”

            He shifts, sits up and separates them enough so they can strip each other’s clothes off, fingers gentle and smoothing over skin, kisses leaving invisible trails. He kisses his way down Jake’s body, still wonders if he’ll ever get used to the idea that Jake and him are… well. That there is actually a Jake and him. That Jake is giving them a chance together and he will do anything and everything to make it happen.

            Well. Nearly anything.

            “If I blow you can you still come if I fuck you?”

            “Oh you absolute asshole…”

            “What? We’re not that old…” Bradley says, not sure what he’s said to make Jake say that, to call him an asshole.

            “I wasn’t… yes. Yes. Please… yeah… that… that sounds perfect.”

            He licks and sucks and it’s something of a luxury, having Jake spread out in a bed, no time constraints and he realizes then why Jake was maybe calling him an asshole. It’s not the same as their first time, but it is very similar and he wants Jake come-drunk, warm and pliant beneath him. He slicks up his fingers a little, runs them over Jake’s hole as he blows him, sucks and licks while his fingers just circle and brush over, not pushing in, not yet. Jake said he wanted him to take him apart and Bradley can do that, knows how to do that. Hasn’t in a long time, but he hopes that Jake trusts him enough to let him take care of him, and not just with this.

            “Oh fuck… uh…shit… Bradley…”

            He sucks harder, feels Jake’s fingers curling in his hair carefully, the shifting in Jake’s hips as he tries to both push and press and stay still. He lets his jaw go slack, wants to drool and get Jake sloppy, wants to revel in the messiness and the fact that they have time, have each other. His own cock is hard, throbbing a steady tempo with his heart, blood hot. But he’s practiced, more experienced now, at ignoring and holding off and he feels single minded in his determination to take care of Jake first and foremost. He lets Jake’s cock hit the back of his throat a couple of times before he pulls off, kissing the head in sympathy as Jake whines at the loss of contact, of suction.

            “Jake… want you to fuck my throat… want everyone to know what I got up to with you tonight… think you can do that for me?”

            “Oh fuck…” Jake’s voice is barely an audible whisper, a broken sound edging toward a sob.

            “Soon…” Bradley promises.

            “Bradley…”

            He bites his bottom lip, but it does nothing to stop the smile he knows is on his face. Pleasure is bubbling through him and he settles back down to his task at hand, sucking Jake’s cock until he comes, tips over the edge into pleasure because Bradley is the one taking him there, step one in taking him apart. Jake’s fingers feel a little shaky in his hair and he groans as Jake shifts a little, his hips flexing and pressing his cock further into Bradley with restrained politeness. He doesn’t want that. He wants Jake mindless with pleasure.

            He reaches for Jake’s hand, the one resting on his head, curls his fingers around Jake’s and pulls his own hair and Bradley groans, repeats the movement and Jake is swearing under his breath and Bradley knows he’s got the message and lets his hand fall away. Jake’s fingers stay, tugging Bradley’s hair with an edge of desperation as his hips begin to jerk and Bradley lets his eyes glance up to Jake’s face. Their eyes meet and Jake’s eyes slam shut, like the sight of Bradley looking up at him is too much.

            “Oh fuck… you’re going to kill me…”

            Feeling a little perverse, he slows down, massages over Jake’s perineum, sucks each of his balls into his mouth carefully one after the other, drags his moustache up the length of Jake’s cock before sucking him back down again for a few drawn out seconds before beginning the process from the start. Jake is pleading with him, not quite begging to come, but getting there. The fifth or sixth time, Bradley’s lost count, Jake’s hand in his hair is tight, hiships jerking and twitching uncontrollably and he’s no longer making sounds that Bradley can recognize as actual words, although part of his name is making its way out of Jake’s lips, along with what he’s pretty sure is meant to be please.

            Jake’s body arches off the bed as he comes, and Bradley gags a little but he swallows and draws back, mouth and tongue gentler now, just holding Jake’s cock rather than trying to coax out an orgasm. Jake’s entire body is shaking, shuddering out its pleasure, his hand in Bradley’s hair now there, resting. He waits for Jake to either shift away or say something. Anything.

            “Fuck…”

            Yeah. That’ll do for a start.

            “You’re so fucking gorgeous…” Bradley says, and his voice is definitely rough and low. He starts peppering little kisses over the inside of Jake’s thigh, up over the jut of his pelvis, then over his stomach, murmuring more words as he kisses a path up Jake’s body, let’s his cock drag over the muscles of Jake’s legs and groans when Jake reaches and wraps his hand around his cock. “Only getting started in taking you apart…” Bradley says, and then he licks one of Jake’s nipples, can’t help but feel smug when Jake groans, his body shifting and pressing against him, seeking more of the touch and Bradley smiles as he licks over the over nipple, teases it a little with his teeth.

            Like he hoped, Jake has relaxed completely, his body warm and lax, and he gives in to the urge to kiss him, knows Jake doesn’t care about the lingering taste of come. He rubs against Jake’s body, grinds his cock against the flesh of Jake’s thigh despite Jake’s hand trying to give him an awkwardly angled handjob. He doesn’t need the added stimulation, already more than hard enough and he’s still got to prepare Jake for taking his cock. He grabs for the lube, has to scramble for a bit because he doesn’t want to look away from Jake.

            He moves his hand and presses in with a finger, takes his time, forces himself to be patient and build the anticipation in his own gut with the knowledge that he’s getting to give Jake pleasure. More pleasure. It’s that which helps him ignore the aching in his own cock, and he’s generous with the lube and stretching, isn’t going to ask how long it’s been but instead treat Jake exactly how he’s always wanted to treat him, with desire and reverence.

            “You good?”

            “You know it…” Jake says, but his words are slurred, legs spreading even further, his eyes fixed on Bradley. He rolls the condom on and slicks himself up, rubs the extra between Jake’s ass cheeks and bends down to kiss him again, lets himself just enjoy the intimacy of kissing and not needing to hurry it along. Jake’s hard again, his body shifting and chasing the friction Bradley’s body offers and he lets him grind and flex against him for a bit while they kiss, his own cock definitely hard and aching.

            “Come on… get your dick in me…”

            “So charming…” Bradley says, grinning and bending down to kiss him again, glad that the laughter and teasing has come back without even seeming to try. He shifts Jake’s legs, is already between them, rubbing and pressing the head of his cock against Jake’s hole.

            “I am the most charming… but I’m going to die of old age… hurry the fuuu– ”

            He presses and presses and presses, it’s hot tight all-encompassing driving him to pin-point focus as he holds himself fully sheathed in Jake’s body, hands shaking a little with the effort to not just fuck into him wildly.

            “You were saying?” he asks, but the playful bite sounds breathless to his own ears, and he shifts slightly and Jake clenches down and he groans, deep and guttural. “Jake… gotta move… please…”

            “Yeah… fuck yeah…”

            He takes that as implicit permission, pulls back slowly, halfway before pressing back in with a groan, his entire body shivering at the sensation. Jake’s low hum is promising and he repeats the movement, slow and steady, rocking into him. It’s a bit disorganized, holding Jake’s hips and legs and he pushes in, holds himself and grinds while also reaching for the pillows. He shoves them under Jake’s back and hip, and it’s a little awkward but they’re grinning at each other, and he feels light.

            Happy.

            He doesn’t want the feeling to end, doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to capture this feeling, of a first time without it being the first time, allowing himself to feel everything he does for Jake and trying to make Jake aware of it without saying anything. He will tell him, not right now, but soon enough. Jake’s fingers are digging into Bradley’s ass encouraging him on, breath warm and damp and he pants out Bradley’s name, mixed with expletives and delicious little sounds Bradley wants to hear more of. Hopefully for a long time.

            He comes with a punched out grunt, his mouth latched firmly onto Jake’s neck, the fingers of one hand clenched into Jake’s flank, the others gripping the sheet of the bed. It’s fine though, he’s pretty sure he’s going to have scratch marks down his back, Jake’s fingers and hands clinging to him even now. He kisses up Jake’s neck, along his jaw, licks into his mouth as he continues to ride out the lingering jolts of pleasure from his orgasm, his cock still hard as he thrusts a little languidly, grinding and circling his hips just right to press into Jake’s prostate. He pulls back a little, just enough to wrap his hand around Jake’s cock, to shift him a little so Jake can relax his legs and so he can jerk him off. If that’s what he wants.

            “What do you want Jake? Going to come for me like this? Or want me to finger you and suck you off again? Want to give you whatever you want. Want to give you everything…”

            Jake comes with a shudder, his ass clenching tight around Bradley’s cock and he lets out a low fuuuck as his body shivers with over sensitivity and he wonders what it is exactly that set Jake off. He looks forward to future investigation and he smiles as he places kisses everywhere he can reach with his mouth before he shifts, pulls out of Jake and kisses the little furrow in his brow, murmuring be right back. Jake’s fingers wrap tight around his wrist though and he stops, leans back down and runs his nose through the sweat damp hair around Jake’s ear.

            “Bradley…” whisper quiet.

            “Yeah baby…” Bradley whispers back and the endearment slips so easily from his mouth and he freezes for a second, wonders if Jake will mind. He remembers being unable to call him anything but baby. The little hiccupping sound Jake makes has Bradley concerned, worried that Jake’s crying… and fuck. He is. He kisses tears from Jake’s face, voice soft as he murmurs his apologies.

            “Shit Jake… sweetheart. I’m sorry…”

            “Just… don’t let go.”

            “Never again…”

            He doesn’t let go, shifts a little to reach for the box of tissues to clean up instead, but he doesn’t stop touching Jake, lets his fingers be gentle, lets himself press his lips wherever he wants. Like with the Bronco and the moustache he remembers the first time they fucked, how different Jake had been. A lot softer and trusting and Bradley wonders if he gets to get that back. Hell. He’ll work toward it for the rest of his life if he has to. Because Jake used to be come drunk and lazy after coming. That changed to terse abrupt departures and words, but right now Jake is in his arms, more alert but also far more relaxed and seems completely uninclined to move anywhere.

            And like their first time together he remembers their conversation afterwards, their frank and open words about what they liked and didn’t like. Both of them treating it like a debrief. No secrets between them. Fuck. Looking back no wonder it had fucked Jake up when he’d just pretended to not even know him when they’d started crossing paths professionally. Making their entire time together a secret that he couldn’t even share with Bradley.

            “We’ve… you’re… we’re definitely…”

            “Sexually compatible?” Bradley provides, and part of him relaxes even further, because this is the familiar ground they’re treading as well.

            “Mmm. Well. That and all the practice you’ve no doubt had…”

            Bradley’s eyebrows shoot up and he’s glad Jake can’t see him, because he’d accused Jake of being jealous, but he hadn’t seriously thought that he might be insecure about it. He can allay that fear or worry at least, and he makes Jake roll over so they’re facing each other, fuzzy in the dim light.

            “Most of my practice was a while ago now. I mean, I haven’t had sex with anyone but you this entire year, so…”

            “What?”

            “Jake… I’m not… when I was younger, yeah. But… not for several years now. You’ve been someone I always kept circling back to, and it probably wasn’t healthy. For either of us. But that was then. I don’t want anyone but you. Okay?”

            Jake is nodding quickly, lips tight, he’s swallowing like he’s holding back tears again and Bradley leans forward and kisses him, slow and thorough, lets his hands run all over Jake’s body and hopes he’s conveying the depth of what he’s feeling. He’s all in.

            “You know… talking about jealousy. You set a pretty unfair bar.”

            “What? What kind of bar?” Bradley asks, because that hadn’t been talking about jealously just now, although he supposes alluding to the past and all the people he has slept with might make Jake feel jealous.

            “Sexual expectations…”

            “Did I? When?”

            “The first time,” Jake mutters, sounding exasperated. “Kind of brutally unfair having you for an entire weekend when I was young, and then having to… experience so much shitty sex afterwards, knowing it could be so much better…”

            “Oh. I’m sorry. Should I have given you a shitty sexual experience?” Bradley asks with a laugh, leans is and bites playfully at the curve of Jake’s neck. He feels a flicker of possessiveness, of pride, that Jake has always compared the other people he’s had sex with to Bradley and found them lacking. Fuck. He’s never going to admit that aloud to anyone, although he suspects from the way Jake is looking at him his expression has given him away.

            “It’s why I sometimes had sex with you again. Because I was like, surely it can’t be as good as I remember it being. And then…”

            “I’d knock your socks off.”

            “And rip my heart to pieces in the process…”

            Bradley recoils, but he supposes it’s fair. They can’t ignore their very shaky and less-than-ideal past. All the times Jake has thrown acid-laden words his way and he knows that they were a coping technique, one he no doubt forced Jake to employ. Wonders if suggesting they get therapy together would be too much too soon. He wants… so much.

            “I’m sorry…”

            “You can spend the next ten or twenty years making it up to me… then we can figure out what we want to do.”

            Oh. He pulls back, tries to focus better in the half-light, wants to see Jake’s face better but all he can really see is the outline, but it’s enough.

            “Twenty years huh?”

            “Seems a good a start as any.”

            “Yeah… yeah it definitely is.”

            If Mav and Ice can figure out their relationship through DADT and marriages and children then he and Jake can surely figure it out as well.

…         …         …

            He pushes himself against Jake, lets his lips press into the curve of his neck.

            “Morning…”

            “Morning.”

            “You okay?”

            “Yeah. Just…” he shrugs then, face scrunching in the way Bradley has come to recognize as a little self-depreciating but inwardly annoyed with himself all at once, for doubting himself. It’s uniquely Jake and he suspects that not very many people get to see this side of him.

            “It’s a lot to have dumped on you in an evening and even more to process?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Anything I can do to help?”

            “You’re doing enough…”

            “Well… I can do more. I want to take you on dates, and have showers with you, and go and get haircuts, and go grocery shopping and fight over replacing the toilet paper and… everything. I want everything. Does that help?”

            Jake nods, quick and fast and Bradley lets himself cup Jake’s face in his hands and kisses him, slow and sweet. He’s spent years holding himself in check, has no reason to hold back now. Tries to put the way he’s feeling into actions, worried that if he speaks them out loud they’ll be too much for Jake. All at once after everything.

            “I want to take you dancing.”

            “Yeah? Line dancing?”

            “Yeah. That okay?”

            “Of course. I really enjoyed doing that with you last time…”

            The little smirk Jake gives him is softer and it fills him with warmth, a little more confident that they’ll be more than okay; that Jake feels comfortable enough to be soft with him, even after everything.

…         …         …

            Pete wakes up in pain, not a new experience, but still not one he thinks anyone likes. His back aches, and he knows he’s getting on in years, but the two ejections and crash landing haven’t exactly endeared his body to repeating any of it ever again. Then Ice’s hands are on him, large and warm and he’s pushing him back into the bed.

            “Where does it hurt the most?”

            “Uh. You don’t have to…”

            “Pete… let me. Please.”

            Pete lets out a sigh, and it morphs into a groan of relief as Ice’s hands press into the aching muscles around his spine, digging in and relieving some of the aching pressure that’s built up. He slumps a little bit more into the bed, feels Tom press a kiss to his shoulder and he wonders if he’s angling for sex. He’s not averse to the idea at all, would be more onboard if the pain wasn’t quite as distracting as it is. Although the longer Tom massages his back the more the pain slips away.

            “It’s not like I mind doing this. Not really. I don’t have anywhere I need to be…”

            “You’re a perverted old man…”

            “Mmm. I am. Can’t keep my hands off you. Even when our bodies are falling apart…”

            “At least they’re falling apart together.”

            “That’s almost poetic Mav…”

            “I should take up poetry.”

            “I’d love to read it.”

…         …         …

            He tries not to feel insecure about it, but when he hears Jake end the call with bye mom, love you his heart twists painfully. Jake hasn’t talked about his family at all. Bradley doesn’t know anything about them. He doesn’t know why Jake hasn’t mentioned them; if it’s some misplaced sense of guilt that his mom is alive and well, while Bradley’s mom is dead? Or is he embarrassed to be with Bradley? Or is it something else? He needs to know.

            “Talking to you mom huh?”

            “Yeah…” Jake says on an exhale, and he sounds tired.

            “Um. Everything okay?”

            “Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

            He’s lying. He doesn’t know how he knows, but it’s visceral and immediate, the knowledge that not only is Jake lying, but he knows him well enough now to be able to spot it without even trying. Why he’s lying is a completely different matter.

            “Jake… please tell me?”

            “How old were you when you came out to your family?”

            “Uh… shit. I… I was still at high school,” Bradley laughs, hit with the sudden memory. “I told Mav I thought I was gay, and I knew then I wanted to go into the Navy and Mav was telling me that it’d be hard and I remember thinking to myself what would he know?”

            Jake looks at him in shock.

            “You didn’t know he was gay?”

            “No! He’d married my mom. Ice was married to Sarah. I was a very self-absorbed teenager dealing with my mom dying and… yeah. In hindsight I can’t believe I missed it all, but…” he shrugs then, because he’s trying to get Jake to talk. “Anyway. They were all great. Supportive. Loving.”

            “You’re lucky.”

            “Yeah. I know,” Bradley says quietly. “Can you tell me?”

            The look on Jake’s face hurts, and he knows he’s not the one causing it, wraps his arms around him and just holds him. Wants to say not to worry about it, but also feels that this is something, a part of Jake, that he really should know about going forward.

            “I was back from my first deployment. Had my wings and feeling very accomplished and grown up. Figured I’d be able to survive if they kicked me out. I had places I could go. I was an adult. But… uh… knew kicking me out was definitely on the cards.”

            Bradley doesn’t dare say anything, just leaves the space for Jake to talk, organize his thoughts, wraps his arms around him a bit tighter.

            “They didn’t exactly kick me out, but they did ask me to leave. Haven’t invited me home. They asked me not to tell anyone else in the family…”

            “Wait. What?” Bradley asks, confused. Haven’t invited Jake home? Since his first deployment? To not tell anyone else?

            “Oh, they don’t want to disown a son serving in the great US Navy, but no one can know he’s gay.”

            “Jake…”

            “It’s fine. It is what it is. I just… I usually volunteer to take deployments so they cover the holidays… I call home and talk to my mom every couple of weeks, but…”

            “Oh baby…”

            “If I even refer to it, they just… ignore it, talk over it, or hang up on me. It’s…”

            “Fuck. I’m sorry Jake.”

            “It’s fine Bradshaw. Not all of us can have an idyllic coming out story…”

            “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

            “Do what?”

            “Make light of my own life like I had it easy.”

            “Looks pretty good to me from where I’m standing. Sitting. Whatever.”

            “Just… fuck. Jake,” he huffs out a breath of frustration. “It was… yeah okay. It is good. Now. And it’s definitely better than what you’ve got to deal with. But it’s not a competition. I’m… my dad died when I was three. I didn’t get it for like… two or three years, that he really wasn’t ever coming back. Then I spent most of my childhood freaking out that Mav wasn’t going to come back from every single deployment. It kind of fucked me up, and then, the person who had been stable in my life? She got cancer and died Jake. In under a year. Just… gone. And I was lucky, because I got to live with Ice and Sarah and see Tamsin and Petra grow up, and I was included in their family in every way. But I was… they weren’t my mom and dad.”

            Jake’s silent.

            “Do you think they would have been okay with you being gay?”

            “Uh. My mom and dad?”

            “Yeah.”

            Fuck. Given what Jake’s just shared this feels like taking a knife and twisting it, but he won’t lie.

            “I know they would have been, because my mom introduced Ice and Sarah. Married Mav. Slider, uh, Admiral Kerner, he told me that they did that because there had been rumors. Anyway… I know I had it good. I’m sorry your family don’t accept you and love you like they should. See every amazing part of you.”

            Jake hums under his breath and Bradley wonders what he’s thinking.

            “You’re pretty well adjusted despite everything.”

            “Oh,” Bradley snorts. “Trust me. I’m not. Or I wasn’t. Mav made me get counselling after my mom died and then… well. I went and got some more about five years ago.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Yeah. I felt like I kept making the same dumb mistakes and figured I needed to work on that so…” he looks at Jake, his stomach in knots because he knows Jake is one of the reasons he wanted to be better. Won’t quite share that with Jake quite yet, because he was only one of the reasons, not the sole reason. But being this open and honest is still a struggle.

            “Well we can’t both be fucked up.”

            “You’re not fucked up Jake,” Bradley murmurs, and Jake rolls his eyes. “And even if you were, doesn’t change anything.”

…         …         …

            Bradley is a nervous wreck.

            He’s not worried about Mav and Ice. They’ve met Jake. They both like Jake, even if he hadn’t saved them, Jake can really turn on the charm when he wants to. Ice already liked him before he saved both him and Maverick from being shot from the sky, and Mav likes the fact that he’s an excellent aviator and clearly cares about him; he is not going to ask which one Mav considers more important. It’s the other people he loves who he needs to introduce Jake to and have meet Jake in turn.

            Tamsin and Petra.

            Except Tamsin and Petra are used to spotting bullshit from miles away. Their moms and dads both passing on all their skills and Bradley should be better at it considering, because Melissa is queen, but he suspects she’s also used to patients maybe stretching the truth a little or lot depending. Tamsin and Petra though, they’ve been exposed to the worst and best of them their entire lives and he really wants them to like Jake. Wants Jake to like them, and he wonders if he’ll be a little irrationally jealous anyway, like how he feels about Coyote sometimes.

            Plus it’s only been a week, but it’s Tamsin’s birthday so she’s coming home for the weekend, along with Petra, and it’s not Thanksgiving, but it’s still a family gathering and he’s bringing… he’s bringing Jake. It feels important.

            “Calm the fuck down. What are you so worried about?”

            “I just… I really want them to like you. And for you to like them.”

            “I’m easy to like. They’ll love me. And I’ve already got something pretty major in common with them, so I’m not too worried about not having common ground…”

            Bradley frowns, tries to think of what it is Jake could be talking about.

            “Don’t hurt yourself there Bradshaw… I’m referring to the fact that they love you.”

            “You love me?” Bradley asks dumbly, all his worries over the last day or so about saying the same words and feeling like it would be too fast and scare Jake away. Instead Jake is looking at him like he’s an idiot. “What?”

            “You’re an idiot. Of course I love you…”

            “Oh. I love you too.”

            “I’m aware. You tend toward flashy gestures, or silent acts… I’m slowly becoming wise to your ways.”

            “I have ways do I?” Bradley asks, imminently pleased by the fact that Jake is apparently learning things about him that even he himself might not be privy to. He wonders what exactly he’s said or done to make Jake so sure, wants to keep doing it. He slides his arms around Jake’s waist, can’t stop grinning at the fact that they just casually told each other they loved each other.

            “You have very obvious tells once you know what to look for. And I’m looking.”

            “That’s good… I want you to look.”

            “Mmm. It’s no hardship when you’ve not got a bad side…”

            “I don’t huh?” Bradley asks with a grin, wrapping his arms tighter and tucking his head into the crook of Jake’s neck to place a soft kiss, grins when he feels Jake’s body shiver all over and kisses him again, lets his moustache drag over sensitive skin.

            “You know you don’t…” Jake says, and he sounds pleasingly breathless. Bradley wants to take him to bed and continue to make him sound like that, rolls his hips a little so Jake knows exactly what he’s thinking, but will say words as well, knows Jake will like hearing them.

            “Mmm. Neither do you. Every part of you is good.”

            “You’re so cheesy…” Jake mutters, rolling his eyes but he still looks pleased. Happy.

            “Oh eww… it’s like seeing the parentals…”

            He jumps a little at the new voice and he looks over to see Petra and Tamsin standing in the doorway watching them and he flushes a little, embarrassed. He doesn’t think they’ve ever seen him even kiss someone, because he just didn’t ever do that type of thing with Callum, and that’s the only previous boyfriend either Tamsin or Petra might remember. He forces himself to relax, to remind himself he has nothing to be embarrassed about. He’s in his own house with his boyfriend and these are his sisters.

            “Speak for yourself. They’re fine. You’re fine,” Tamsin repeats to them this time, and Bradley grins at her, draws in a deep calming breath and untangles himself from Jake to give them both hugs of hello. Then he steps back to Jake’s side and wraps an arm around his waist again. Doesn’t want him to feel like he’s facing the three of them like some form of interrogation squad or weird interview panel.

            “Tamsin, Petra, this is Jake Seresin. Jake, these are my sisters, Tamsin and Petra Kazansky.”

            “You know, I’m thinking of changing my last name to Mitchell…”

            Bradley is pretty sure that’s bullshit, because Petra is a shit stirrer. Of course, Jake’s eyes have gone wide as he looks at Petra, he quickly looks at Bradley, an eyebrow raised and he shrugs helplessly. It’s obvious if you’re looking, and Jake has all the pieces, even if Bradley hasn’t implicitly spelled it out to him the Maverick is Petra’s biological father.

            “I won’t though. Dad would be all sad about it. So. You’re the boyfriend.”

            “Yep, nice to meet you.”

            “Hmm. You know he snores right?”

            Bradley opens his mouth to object, wonders where the hell this conversation is even going. They’re not meant to gang up on him… oh. Wait. Maybe that might help a little.

            “He doesn’t if he’s tired enough…” Jake says, expression deadpan and Bradley flushes, red-hot and immediate at the implication. Tamsin is laughing and he supposes Jake should start as he intends to go on, but a little of the harder tougher shell is there, he recognizes the layer for what it is now; Jake protecting his heart.

            “Oh ew… gross. I do not need to think about you two going at it. What do you know about cars?”

            “I know your brother is driving a better car now than ten years ago…”

            “That’s a matter of opinion. An incorrect opinion.”

            “What do you mean? I’m the one that told him he needed to get himself a Bronco…”

            “Are you now?”

            And they’re off, talking about cars and racing and Bradley had no idea Jake was even into cars that much, but Petra seems to be delighted to finally have someone new to talk to, and he has no idea if Jake’s making his opinions be the opposite of hers just to be ornery or whether it’s what he truly believes, but he’s grinning and then following Petra out to the Bronco and he feels something settle further inside him. They’re going to get on even better than he had hoped.

…         …         …

            Bradley doesn’t ask for favors. Doesn’t ask for much. Has never asked him to use his name or rank for anything to benefit him; in fact has gone out of his way to ensure he never received preferential treatment. But he has asked for this, and Pete had agreed immediately. He’s not even going to have to do paper work. Easiest favor ever. The Dagger Squad have been trying to make Hangman’s new nickname stick, give him a new callsign. Pete was there on the carrier, he heard what Bradley had said, what he’d called Hangman while he was woozy with pain and shock.

            Angel.

            They think it’s funny. He supposes it might be, if they hadn’t been so close to death. He can look back now and know that they got lucky over and over and over. Having Hangman be called Angel makes a joke of the matter though, one he knows neither he nor Bradley are ready to accept. He doesn’t know how Hangman feels about it. Some of them are maybe joking about it to deal with the pressure, but he also can’t let their coping technique impact the mental health of others.

            He also suspects Bradley doesn’t know or remember why they started calling Hangman Angel, but everyone has noted that Hangman doesn’t particularly like it, which might be why some of them are keeping at it. So he knows Bradley isn’t asking himself, but rather because he wants to make Hangman happy. Pete is pretty sure being reminded of the person you love nearly dying every time someone uses your callsign would be difficult. Along with the fact that Bradley could never call him angel as an endearment. That’s what he had realized when he’d heard the Dagger squadron members using it a couple of times. Bradley uses nicknames and pet names easily, making them up on the fly. He’s already heard him call Seresin baby and he’d quickly turned his head to hide his surprise. Pleased surprise, but still.

            So he’s going to let them know in no uncertain terms that Hangman’s callsign will not be changing.

            “Aviators… please take a seat.” Bradley and Hangman are notably absent, but they’re comfortable enough with him that they don’t hurry to obey, clearly feeling the more relaxed vibe he was aiming for. “Now, this is not a formal request, however I do want you to take what I am about to say to you seriously –”

            There’s a cough and he looks up to the open door to see Ice standing there, just out of sight of everyone else. He’s dressed in his service khakis, which is odd. He hates those, but he looks fierce and impressive and Pete lets his eyes wander a bit before Ice coughs again, sharper, and gives him a look coupled with an eyeroll. Oh. Oh fuck. Yeah. Having Ice deliver the request, despite it being an informal one, adds a significant weight to it.

            “Ah…” he looks between his husband and the Daggers. “Attention,” he states, and there’s some grumbling considering he just told them they could sit however when Ice steps forward the grumbling immediately stops and they’re all standing at attention. Natasha knows of course, and maybe Machado now, but everyone is looking a little unnerved.

            “You can sit down,” Ice says, and Pete supposes he doesn’t need to introduce him. They all know who he is. “I’m just here to inform you that Lieutenant Seresin will not be getting a new call sign. Am I understood?”

            There is a chorus of yes sirs and agreement and Pete is pretty sure this is overkill, but he supposes when Bradley asks for something they’re going to ensure it happens.

…         …         …

            Tom knows Bradley is nervous, despite both his and Pete’s reassurances that everything will be fine. For some reason Bradley seems to think that Melissa and Sarah are the harder nuts to crack, while he and Pete are both of the opinion that it’s Tamsin and Petra’s far more scathing assessments which are likely to carry more weight. However Tamsin and Petra both report back that they like Jake, which is reassuring. Even if Petra had had some scathing things to say about his vehicle preference. He hasn’t yet had an opportunity to see them all interact, and while he knows travelling two weekends in a row is exhausting, Tamsin and Petra are both still young and seem more than happy to come home for birthdays and Thanksgiving.

            Melissa and Sarah are completely charmed by Seresin, who has said charm dialed all the way up. Bradley clearly has to stop himself from laughing out loud when Petra calls Jake a suck up under her breath, because he just turns, waggles his eyebrows in Bradley’s direction suggestively and Petra is groaning. It makes his heart feel full, all his kids at the table for dinner, along with his closest friends and everyone happy. It’s good.

            “Jake! Come have a look at the photo albums…” Tamsin says as soon as they’ve finished eating. Tom knows a ploy to get out of washing up when he sees one, hides his smile around his mug of tea, catches Sarah’s smile across the room. Seresin seems more than willing to look through the family photo albums, and he’s not quite relaxed around Tom, he’s definitely getting on well with both Tamsin and Petra. Bradley groans and mutters about making himself useful doing the dishes and Tom follows him through to the kitchen along with Petra.

            “I like him. He’s good for you.”

            “Yeah. He is. And I love him so… I’m glad you like him because it would have made future family dinners awkward as fuck.”

            “What’s his family like?” Tom asks, curious.

            “Uh… not as accepting as ours.”

            “Oh shit. Really?” Petra asks, turning with soapy hands Tom has to duck out of the way of.

            “Yeah. He still talks to them. But… uh. He doesn’t visit. Don’t expect to meet them at our wedding or anything.”

            “Are you getting married?” Petra asks, but Tom is pretty sure his eardrums are ringing along with Bradley’s.

            “Not yet we’re not… Jesus. Shh! I haven’t asked him. Fucks sake Pet… we only just sorted our shit out…”

            “But you’re… thinking about it?” Petra asks, eyes wide and incredulous; she’s whispering now but Tom is pretty sure that that particular horse has bolted and no doubt dancing the tango in a field if Seresin and everyone else didn’t somehow hear her previous yelling.

            “If it’s not him it sure as hell isn’t going to be anyone else for me.”

            “That’s kind of sweet. Romantic.”

            “Well, I’m coming up on forty. Had to sort my shit out at some point right?”

            “Ugh. You’re so old…”

            Bradley snorts and Tom pulls a face, shaking his head and leaving them to it. If anyone asks, he’s too old to wash dishes by hand.

…         …         …

            Seeing Bradley with Seresin settles something inside him. That Bradley isn’t going to live a life surrounded by only family.

            “Does he make you happy?”

            “He drives me completely fucking insane. But… yeah. I’m really happy. Just… yeah. It’s really good.”

            “I’m glad. You seem happier.”

            “I was already happy Mav…”

            “I know, I said happier…”

            Bradley rolls his eyes but heads over to where Jake is sitting with Petra. Bradley has always reminded him of Nick, the moustache adding to the illusion when he decided to keep it nearly a decade ago. But he’s never seen Bradley in love before and it reminds him of the look on Goose’s face every time he saw Carole, or talked about her, or thought about her. He’d never seen that particular look on Bradley’s face until he watched him look at Jake Seresin.

            “You see it too?” Ice asks, coming to stand beside him.

            “Yeah. It’s a good look on him.”

            “Mmm. I have to agree. Come on, we’re holding up the gift giving.”

            Pete lets himself be led away, and they’re celebrating their family holidays, a combination of Christmas and Hanukkah with it falling over Christmas this year. Melissa is covering Christmas Day so they can all celebrate together today, the 30th. He knows better to ask Jake what his family are doing, simply includes him in all of their little family traditions and pretends not to notice the shine of tears when Tamsin had pointed out the newly added stocking to the hearth bearing Jake’s name.

2020

            "Dude, I'm happy for you both... really I am. I just... I want you to know when Jake loves, he loves deep and long. Hell, I thought he'd never get over the guy he fell in love with back in 2009...."

            Bradley cough-splutters on his drink.

            “Wait. A guy from 2009?”

            “Yeah. What? Shit. Has he not told you about him?”

            “Um…” Bradley starts and he has a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. “Not in so many words.”

            “Fuck. I didn’t mean to make trouble. I just… I assumed you guys would have talked about shit like that.”

            “Coyote, Javy. It’s fine. I know about the guy. If he ever comes back you have my full permission to knock him over the head and bury the body. Okay?”

            “Uh… okay. Yeah. Sure. Weird… you know him?”

            “Yeah, we’re acquainted,” Bradley mutters with a wry grin as he watches Jake across the Hard Deck. Jake’s personality hasn’t changed, he’s still arrogant and cocky, confident in his innate skills. His tongue can still be on the sharp side, and he doesn’t suffer incompetence or fools, however he seems to laugh easier. But when they’re alone all of Jake’s armor just dissolves away to nothing as long as he’s careful not to put him on the defensive. They’re still figuring things out but it’s been good. Better than good.

            “God. Go hang out with you man. Think they can see your heart eyes from space,” Javy says, shoving at him and Bradley grins, doesn’t need to be told twice. He strides across the bar and presses himself up against Jake’s back, hooking his chin over his shoulder where he stands watching Phoenix and Bob play pool.

            “Jake… baby… princess…”

            “What have you done?”

            Bradley can’t help but laugh against Jake’s neck, the fact he knows him so well. Phoenix is making gagging sounds and he and Jake both give her the finger which just makes her laugh and give it back.

            “I haven’t done anything wrong. Well. Not recently.”

            “Okay…” Jake says, and the word is drawn out, drawling and suspicious and Bradley can’t help but laugh again.

            “Just… I already apologized but I was made to realize just how much I fucked up. So I’ll just… keep being grateful every day that you forgave me for being an idiot.”

            “Uh. What?”

            “Just… something Javy said.”

            “What did he say?” Jake asks, and he’s getting stiff in Bradley’s arms, even more suspicious and Bradley shakes his head, angles down to capture Jake’s mouth with his own and kisses him until he relaxes, lets his body slump and cover him.

            “Javy just… he told me… about this guy… a guy you were really hung up on. How he really fucked you over.”

            “Oh…”

            “Yeah…” Bradley breathes. “Told him if he ever turned up again I’d help him bury his body…”

            “Yeah?”

            “Definitely. You have to try knock some sense into him first of course.”

            “God you’re an idiot.”

            “Less of an idiot now than I was ten years ago…”

            “Aren’t we all?”

…         …         …

            He finds Tamsin in the garage with the punching bag and he wonders if he should even ask. She’s got tear tracks down her face, but she’s not currently crying; she clearly didn’t think she needed to go for waterproof mascara this morning. He walks a wide circle so she can see him, doesn’t want to startle her and get a punch to the nose. When she sees him she plucks her ear pod out.

            “Hey papa…”

            “Hey. Didn’t expect you here. Uh. You want to talk about it?”

            “No. Yes. Maybe.”

            Pete nods, wonders if he should call in reinforcements. He’s never been good with crying, although he’d like to think he’s gotten better. Matured. He’s just worried he won’t know what to say to make things right. He will always try, but sometimes he worries that he’s making things worse.

            “Why are men idiots?” Tamsin bursts out, and thank fuck, that’s an easy question at least.

            “Oh, it’s years of evolution.”

            That makes her giggle-snort and he feels a welling up of pride that even through whatever she’s dealing with he’s made her laugh.

            “Which one in particular are we talking about? Or is it just… men in general?”

            “Ross.”

            Ah. The boyfriend. He probably should have guessed. Although Ross hasn’t ever been a problem before. He’s been around for years.

            “Oh. Do I need to provide an alibi?”

            Again there’s another laugh and Pete leans against the workbench.

            “Dad can provide an alibi for both of us if it comes to that, you and Bradley can help me bury the body…”

            “And what’s Petra doing in all this?”

            “Oh, she’d probably be the one to actually kill him.”

            “That bad?”

            “No,” Tamsin says with a loud sigh and Pete just nods slowly, because he’ll decide for himself.

            “He’s just… he dropped out. Decided he didn’t want to study engineering after all and now he’s just… bumming around.”

            “Okay… maybe he’s taking a while to figure his life out?”

            “He dropped out six months ago. He’s been living with me, but he just… sits around and smokes all day and I hate the smell. He isn’t doing anything…”

            “Is he maybe… depressed?” Pete suggests, trying to be even headed. For all he knows they could get back together. And Ross is, was, one of the nicer ones.

            “I don’t care if he is. Depressed or not I deserve a guy who won’t –”

            “Who won’t what?” Pete asks, wondering exactly how that sentence is meant to finish. His brain is offering up several possibilities and none of them are pretty. Shit. Maybe Ice will need to have an alibi ready. Not for murder, but maybe assault. Then again Tom would be right beside him.

            “Won’t steal and cheat.”

            “Hmm. Enough that you want to make a report to the police?”

            “No. I kicked him out, went to my landlord and asked to change the locks and deactivate my spare security fob just incase. Then went to campus security and asked them to keep an eye out for him. Just said he might loiter around and make a nuisance of himself. I just… I wasted three years.”

            “Oh. Oh sweetheart I’m sorry…”

            That seems to set off the tears, and he just opens his arms and hugs her, lets her cry and pats her on the back as she mutters about assholes and time wasters and he lets his mind wander a little, what he can do that would maybe make her feel a little better when he realizes that there is maybe something.

            “Just… I know you don’t like violence, but… give me a couple of minutes okay?”

            She wipes at her eyes and gives him a nod and he races off to Ice’s office, finds a photo of the offending Ross and quickly prints out two copies, before returning to the garage with them. He uses electrical tape to stick one copy to the punch bag, and then, to the newly acquired dart board he sticks the other.

            “There. No alibi required. And can I just say, if you want to talk to someone who can really commiserate about men being idiots, you should really talk to your dad. He’s had years of experience.”

            That really has her laughing and Pete grins.

…         …         …

            He doesn’t say the words very often. Not first. Struggles to say them to people who aren’t his family, wonders if he should tell Jake that that’s the case or whether he already knows. No. He won’t assume Jake knows anything. He’s said them before, repeats them effortlessly when Jake tells him first, easy as breathing. But he wants Jake to know. To be sure.

            “I love you Jake…”

            The smile on Jake’s face takes his breath away, wide and bright and the words are returned to him easily and he hopes his answering smile makes Jake feel the same way he does right now.

            “I love you too.”

…         …         …

            Fucking global pandemic.

            What the actual fuck is his life now.

            Everyone’s deployments are extended if they’re at sea, and he’s very fucking glad that the entire Dagger Squad are stationed together in North Island and their orders remain the same. Training, studying, simulations, flying, more training. It’s all still the same except not. The roads are emptier, shops closed, hospitals busier and Melissa and Sarah stop visiting. Tamsin and Petra both come home to finish their semester of study remotely, but Melissa refuses to let them stay with her and Sarah, insisting that they take her seriously.

            So they do. It’s an unusual way of living, and the bubble they create is odd. Tamsin and Petra bouncing between his place, and then staying with Ice and Mav. The fact that there is Harley, Ducati and Ceccato is a bigger drawcard. That and Mav drags Ice away to the hangar every other weekend under the guise of doing maintenance. He’s pretty sure that’s code for alone time but he’s not going to probe. Ice sends pictures of them flying and yeah, that’s nice for them.

            They’re asked to accommodate other officers in their homes if they can, so he invites Bob to join them, after Natasha and Coyote inform him that they’re going to bunk in together. That raises a few eyebrows, but he and Jake wisely both keep their mouths shut on the matter. It all happens so fast that he doesn’t really have time to tell Bob much of anything. He lets Tamsin and Petra know he’s going to have someone staying so they don’t take Bob out when they see him, but he’s reclined back on the sofa, feet in Jake’s lap when Bob appears in the doorway to the living room in his sleep clothes, eyes wide.

            “Rooster! Bradley! There’s a… there’s a woman in your kitchen.”

            “Blonde or brunette?” Bradley asks, a little distracted because Jake is drawing something on his ankle. He thinks it’s the outline of a dick but he’s not sure, trying to mentally visualize the image.

            “Uh… blonde? Does…”

            “That’s Tamsin. His sister. She must have come around late. Hair color wouldn’t have mattered. He’s got two sisters…”

            “Oh shit. Yeah. Sorry Bob. Come let me do a proper introduction.”

            Tamsin is standing and staring at the coffee maker as if willing it to go faster, and he wonders if she knows he’s set it up to make a large pot now, that she might be waiting a while. He goes over and gives her a hug and presses a kiss to the top of her head, because she’s all sleepy and grumpy, hair in a messy plait down her back and wearing her most comfortable sweatpants and t-shirt.

            “Tam, this is my friend Bob. Bob, this is my sister Tamsin. Her and our other sister Petra are taking turns spending time here…”

            “Robert. My name’s Robert… Bob is my callsign.”

            Bradley blinks, not expecting the correction at all.

            “Oh. Sorry. Robert Floyd. Callsign Bob.”

            “Nice to meet you Robert,” Tamsin says, and she’s reaching out to shake Bob’s hand, smiling politely, although her smile turns more grateful when Jake shoves his half-full cup of coffee into her hands as he enters the kitchen as well. It sounds weird to hear Bob called Robert.

            “Nice to meet you too. I didn’t realize Rooster had sisters.”

            “Uh… shit. Yeah. Sorry. I forgot to kind of tell you about my family…”

            Jake snorts and Bradley rolls his eyes, pokes out his tongue which just makes Jake grin at him.

            “I love our family. Our parents. Really. I do. I know how lucky I am to be so wanted, loved and supported. But seriously, if I have to deal with Papa’s hovering for another hour I’m going to snap.”

            Bradley snorts, because they’d stayed home this weekend rather than going to the hangar, and the shelter in place order is making Mav a little stir-crazy and making it everyone else’s problem. Hopefully Ice will take him out to the hangar so he can fly.

            “You’re, uh. Dads?” Bob asks, looking between Bradley and Tamsin, and Jake is wearing a shit-eating grin, clearly entertained and Bradley groans.

            “Shit. Knew I forgot to tell you. Sorry, with the whole… lockdown thing. Admiral Kazansky is –”

            “My dad.”

            “And Mav is her –”

            “Papa.”

            “Are you going to let me finish my own –”

            “Sandwiches!” Tamsin singsongs and Bradley groans and Bob looks amused.

            “So it’s not just me and Jake in our bubble. You’ll actually get a fair amount of choice. There’s us here, and then Mav and Ice at their place. Tamsin and Petra switching between the two. So… seven of us between two houses. And the base.”

            “Oh. That’s… that’s really good. Uh. Is there… do you have a mom?”

            “Of course. I have two of them as well. Mom and Mama. Sarah and Melissa. Mom used to be married to Dad, but it was all, like, a cover story. Pretty romantic really…”

            Bob is blinking and Bradley exchanges a look with Jake, because he’s glad Tamsin somehow thinks that Ice having to hide his feelings and emotions to Mav by marrying and having kids with a woman is somehow romantic… Ugh. He guesses they’re pretty extreme lengths, and Tamsin and Petra wouldn’t exist otherwise. But still. The coffee has finished and Jake pours himself a new mug, topping up Tamsin’s and then silently asking Bradley if he wants more and he shakes his head, unable to hide his smile though with the realization that they’re silently communicating in a way he’s used to seeing between Sarah and Melissa as well as Mav and Ice.

…         …         …

            Tom is glad to be retired. Because he has Zoom calls with his replacement and listens to how he has to deal with everything and is so infinitely glad that it’s no longer any of his concern. A global pandemic was never something he thought he’d have to manage, and he’s glad it’s not officially his problem. He looks up to see Seresin standing in the doorway to his study and he waves him in.

            “Sir…”

            “You can just call me Tom. I’m retired. Well. Mostly. It’s in process…”

            “Uh. Sorry. I call my own father sir…”

            “Oh,” Tom says, surprised. Not only is it the first time Jake has mentioned his family, but the idea of any of his children calling him sir makes him feel uncomfortable. Even Bradley only ever did so when there were other people around and they were both in uniform.

            “Was there something I could help you with?”

            “I just… sorry. Do you remember when we first met?”

            Tom leans back and nods.

            “2011. On board the Carl Vinson. We had dinner. I believe we all had steak because I was eating with you all.”

            “You had dinner with everyone who was in the class of 2010. I just… I wondered if you had any particular reason for that sir.”

            Smart boy Tom thinks to himself, and he nods again, waves a finger at the chair opposite his desk and Jake obligingly sits.

            “You’re wondering if it was a coincidence,” Tom states, and Seresin is nodding. “You’re right to question it, because no, it wasn’t a coincidence at all.”

            “So Bradley had told you about me?”

            “Not you specifically, no. We had a conversation around the matter, DADT, and…” Tom frowns then, tries and remembers what advice he had given Bradley. “I had my suspicions…”

            “Oh.”

            “Never did anything about them of course. Didn’t need to once DADT was repealed. However observation skills and following your gut are… useful. As is keeping meticulous and coded notes of everything you learn through the grapevine.”

            “Notes sir?”

            “Mmm. I have dozens of notebooks. They’d be quite damning if they fell into the wrong hands. If they figured out my code anyway. I believe Aubrey may have gotten close before deciding she’d rather not know.”

            “Who is Aubrey?”

            “My assistant. Ex assistant now I suppose. Invaluable. Would you like to learn it?”

            “Learn… your code?”

            “Yes. I think you would become quite savage in your desire to protect those you love.”

            Tom knows he’s judged the man correctly and he pulls out one of his notebooks, the one which actually details his thoughts on figuring out who Bradley’s potential ill advised hookup had been and knows back then he never imagined he’d be considering the man as his future son-in-law, however he suspects it’s only a matter of time.

            Sure enough Tom finds he enjoys Jake’s company more than he thought he would. It’s not quite as easy as it is with Bradley, or Tamsin or Petra, but Jake is easy going and respectful, and not just to Tom, but to Sarah and Melissa. Not that they’re seeing much of either of them at the moment, Melissa insisting on them staying away from her with her working in the hospital and at such a higher-level risk of exposure with her work. But he’s glad of the opportunity to get to know Seresin better.

…         …         …

            He and Jake are both promoted to Lieutenant Commander and he wonders just how much chatter is happening behind closed doors. Because yes, Ice might be retired now, however that doesn’t stop him getting phone calls, or consulted with big wide sweeping things. Bradley isn’t stupid. He knows Jake and Ice have developed some type of mentor-mentee relationship because Jake has the drive to try and prove himself. Bradley is finding himself more and more content with the smaller things now that he has Jake.

            He’s not surprised at all when Natasha and Javy announce that they’re together and finally giving it a go. They both give him significant looks and he wonders if Jake is getting the same looks. It’s definitely something they’ve talked about, something that they want for their future together. Then Natasha is asking Tamsin and Petra to be her bridesmaids and Bradley doesn’t have time to think about that, he’s too worried about his future hearing loss.

2021

            Bradley isn’t even thinking about it when he sees it. A ring in a shop window and his heart just… skips. He wants to buy it. Needs to buy it. Wants to see it on Jake’s finger and have everyone know that he’s taken, that he’s Bradley’s. He doesn’t think about it, just walks in, buys it and walks out, the weight of it in his pocket making him feel jittery with nerves. Don’t think, just do. Fucking Mav. Fucking Natasha making him think about it even more. He doesn’t head home, instead goes to Ice and Mav’s, nerves vibrating so much he can almost hear them jangling in his head. He lets himself in and goes and sits at the table closest to the kitchen and just stares at the ring he just bought.

            “Uh… if that’s an engagement ring I’m sorry to disappoint. I’m a married man…”

            “Fuck off Mav, you know it’s not for you.”

            “You want to propose to him?”

            “I… yes. I mean. I know it’s not been that long. But also…”

            “It’s been nearly two years. That’s plenty long enough.”

            “You think so?”

            “Yes. That man’s world begins and ends with you. I know how he feels because I feel the same way about Ice.”

…         …         …

            “You ever think about having kids?” Jake asks, and he sort of thought Jake had fallen asleep already.

            “Um. I love kids… I honestly haven’t thought about having them though. It’s not like we’d accidentally stumble into having them…” Jake huffs at that, and Bradley can’t tell in the dark if he’s amused or annoyed. “I would love to raise a family with you Jake, if that was something you wanted. It’s… it’s not a deal breaker for me either way. We have kids, great. We don’t have kids, still great.”

            “We’d make very cute babies…”

            “Yeah we would,” Bradley agrees, and the image of a baby with Jake’s eyes and blonde curls lights up in his brain, Jake lying there with a baby sleeping on his chest and oh fuck, maybe he’s not quite as on the fence as he thought.

            “How about we get married first…”

            “How very traditional of you Bradshaw.”

            “I’ll show you traditional,” Bradley mutters with a laugh and he blows a raspberry on Jake’s stomach, making them both laugh.

            “What? You going to knock me up and force a shotgun wedding?”

            “You want me to try?” Bradley challenges and Jake’s gaze goes dark.

            “Always want you to try darlin’��”

2022

            Tom isn’t sure what’s wrong, but Jake is pacing back and forth. Harley has given up trying to follow, has simply slumped down and is watching with his eyes. Tom would make a joke about wearing a track in the carpet but Jake is actually wringing his hands. It’s very out of character and he’d be worried if he didn’t already have a slight suspicion about what it might be about.

            “What’s wrong Seresin?”

            “When will Mav be home?”

            “Did you want to call him?”

            “No. No it’s fine. I just… I’ll wait.”

            “Did you need to speak to me?” Tom asks, because he’d been under that impression, but is now a little confused.

            “I, uh, want to talk to both of you…”

            Bingo.

            He hides his smile as best he can, glad then that he hears Mav’s bike in the drive, the garage door opening and closing.

…         …         …

            “Ice! Jake!”

            “In here!”

            “Hey…” Pete greets, looks around for Bradley. Separating Jake and Bradley is something he’d maybe count as a sign of the apocalypse, and he glances at Jake, ready to ask where his other half is when he notices Jake looks decidedly pale, maybe a little green.

            “Everything okay? You look like you’re about to be sick… Is Bradley okay?”

            “He’s fine. I just… uh. I needed to ask you both something. I, uh, already asked the girls…”

            “Smart move…” Ice says quietly, looking amused and Pete frowns.

            “Asked them what?”

            “I want to ask Bradley to marry me…”

            “But isn’t Bradley…”

            Tom starts coughing loudly and he’s flailing out, accidentally kicking him and Ice doesn’t even apologize. Pete glares at him only to find Ice staring at him wide-eyed.

            Oh shit.

            He understands the kick to the leg now.

            “Sorry Jake. You were saying?”

            Jake’s eyes are narrowed, glancing between the two of them; he’s been a part of their family for well over two years now, marrying Bradley will simply be a formality. However Jake also knows them all much better, knows when they’re hiding something, or trying to bullshit him. He’s definitely become wise to their ways and it’s been pretty great including Jake in their family. He pulls Jake into a tight hug, tells him to go right ahead and ask Bradley and then Ice does the same and Jake finally looks less like he’s going to throw up.

…         …         …

            Bradley hasn’t planned anything big or romantic, although he guesses it’ll become romantic with retellings and nostalgia. But a walk along the beach, just the two of them, peaceful and quiet. He doesn’t even need to bribe Jake to leave the house to go out. They walk hand in hand and watch the sun creep closer and closer to the horizon, turning the sky pink and orange. He stops and turns, takes in Jake’s profile, bathed in the pain-orange glow of the sun and he wants to remember this moment forever.

            “Jake…”

            “Mmm… yeah?” Jake murmurs, finally turning to look at him and he smiles, steps in close, whispers the question he wants to ask against Jake’s cheek.

            “Will you marry me?”

            Jake pulls back to gape and stare at him, looking shocked. Like they haven’t talked about one day getting married.

            “Jake? Baby?”

            “You… but… I…”

            “How are you surprised by this? We’ve talked about getting married…”

            “Yes! But I asked Mav and Ice, and Tamsin and Petra!”

            “Oh… oh that’s sweet of you.”

            Honestly he’s surprised they all managed to keep it quiet from him.

            “But… you…”

            “You want me to take it back so you can ask me instead?” Bradley asks, biting his lip so he doesn’t burst into laughter.

            “No! You can’t take it back. But… yes. Yes I’ll marry you. Oh my god you fucking asshole…”

            “Yeah, there’s the Jake I know and love…”

            “Put your damn ring on my finger Bradshaw…”

            He slips the ring onto Jake’s ring finger, then brings it up to his mouth to press a kiss to where it now sits.

            “Love you.”

            “Yeah. Love you too. Can’t believe you beat me,” Jake grumbles and Bradley silences him with a kiss.

2023

            Because Jake thinks he’s funny he insists on them getting married on Bradley’s 40th birthday. The reasons he lists off are annoyingly logical, but Bradley knows it’s also because it means every year from now on Jake’s going to be able to say Bradley’s birthday present is going to be staying married to him. He can imagine it all too easily and it just makes him smile. Jake totally steals Petra to be his groom’s woman, along with Javy, leaving him with Natasha and Tamsin to stand up with him and he gets dragged along for massages and manicures, sends photos to Jake telling him he’s missing out, only to find out that the others are doing exactly the same thing.

            The ceremony is short, and it’s only about fifty people all up, and no-one mentions the lack of Jake’s family once. He suspects Javy has gone around and discreetly let everyone know the situation. He knows Jake tried to tell his mom. He also knows that she hung up on him and then didn’t answer his calls for five weeks. He doesn’t want to tell Jake what to do, but some days he really wishes he could. He’s standing on the side watching Ice dance with Tamsin and Mav with Petra when Jake leans into his side and presses a drink into his hand.

            “I figured it out…”

            “What?”

            “Your threesome. It was with Phoenix’s cousin and his husband.”

            “Jesus Jake, shh!”

            “Oh shit. She doesn’t know?”

            “No! Why would I fucking tell her that? I didn’t tell you! How did you figure it out?”

            “Oh. Patrick came over and congratulated me, and the way he kind of wiggled his eyebrows and then winked at me made me think he might have first-hand knowledge of exactly what I was locking down…”

            “Oh my god…”

            “I mean. They’re hot. And nice.”

            “Yeah. They are… but…”

            “Oh, you’re far too possessive to let anyone else into our bedroom huh?”

            “I… yeah. Sorry.”

            “Oh. Don’t apologize. I like it.”

            “Yeah, I know you do.”

            “Mmm. Come on. Dance with me.”

…         …         …

            “Huh. Can’t really call you Seresin anymore,” Tom muses and Jake grins.

            “No sir, you’ll have to start calling me Jake.”

            “When you start calling me Tom. Or Ice.”

            “Deal. Who do you think is going to be weirded out the most?”

            “Hmm. Tough call. But my money’s on Mav.”

…         …         …

            The Dagger Squad are officially reassigned; however he and Jake are sent to Fallon together, along with Natasha, Javy, Rueben and Mikey. The others are sent to Corpus and given that Tamsin is based in Houston with NASA doing something with her software engineering degree he lets her know that the rest of the Dagger will be in her neck of the woods. She’s coming up 27 and he’d be a little intimidated by her if she wasn’t also his kid sister. She has all of Ice’s confidence and ability to command attention and he knows she’s going to go places. Petra is also in Texas, although she’s working on the mechanics of racecars and driving them. With both there he and Jake take a long weekend and head to Corpus next time they have leave.

            It’s not the Hard Deck, but it’s still a Navy bar and when Petra walks in she draws attention; she’s wearing jeans and form fitting Wonder Woman t-shirt, nothing fancy at all but she’s still eye catching. Tamsin follows her, and she’s wearing a lilac-colored pantsuit, looking incredibly put together and he wonders what her colleagues think of her. Neither of them have seen him or Jake yet, and most people here are in civvies.

            “You got a name gorgeous?” one man asks, clearly deciding to try his luck and Bradley has seen this type of interaction play out before, although never in a Navy bar. This ought to be good.

            “I give names to those who earn them.”

            “And what do we need to do earn it?”

            “If you need to ask, then you’re already down and out.”

            Beside him Jake is rigid and he puts a hand on Jake’s arm to stop him from going over, pulls him back and shakes his head slightly.

            “Do not go there. They can both look after themselves. Trust me. Those newbies do not stand a fucking chance.”

            “You sure? There are five of them.”

            “Uh huh. Very sure. Made that mistake once. If they’ve been drinking it’s a different story, but even then, they just get vicious. Petra especially. Remember who their father’s are… Fuck. Think of Sarah and Melissa.”

            Jake nods, but his eyes don’t leave Tamsin and Petra. Tamsin has spied them now, is fighting back a smile and Bradley rolls his eyes at her as she subtly shifts them closer.

            “You’re hanging out in a navy bar near the base. Pretty sure that makes you base bunnies. What are you doing here if you’re not looking to…”

            “Looking to what? Enjoy a drink in peace and quiet? You don’t think that maybe I’ve come from the same base?” Petra asks, and she’s toying with them Bradley realizes.

            “We’re all naval aviators. Here for Top Gun. Do you know what that is?”

            “Oh my god… she’s going to eviscerate them,” Jake murmurs beside him, but he’s grinning widely and Bradley ducks to place a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth.

            “Yep.”

            “I do know what Fighter Weapon School is, and I also know that it isn’t here in Corpus. In fact,” Petra starts and Bradley meets her gaze and she grins, vicious sharp, as Jake toasts her with his bottle of beer. “In fact, I think you’re the new flight school intake and that I have more flight hours than all of you put together at this point in time.”

            A couple of the guys standing around look a little belligerent at that claim and he winces, hopes this isn’t going to end up in someone getting thrown out. Some of them are muttering about her not knowing anything about flight school and Bradley wonders what level of the stupid-barrel they’ve been scraping.

            “My father is the retired Admiral Kazansky. Yes. That Admiral Kazansky. My step-father is the retired Captain Maverick Mitchell,” Petra provides.

            “Oh god this is glorious,” Jake says to him quietly and Bradley has to concede that yes, it is indeed entertaining.

            “My brother is Lieutenant Commander Bradley Bradshaw, my brother-in-law is Lieutenant Commander Jake Seresin. I think I have an idea of what flight school is. And it’s a far cry from Top Gun. Now, you gentlemen are stopping my sister and I from joining our brother and his husband.”

            Bradley takes that as his queue and he steps toward them, Jake following and they’re not in Corpus for work, but the others don’t know that.

            “Gentlemen…”

            Almost as one they all stiffen as if on parade and he keeps his face carefully blank, notes Jake does the same, although Jake also looks a lot more calculating.

            “Sir.”

            “Hmm. Slightly disappointed in the welcome my sisters received. Be better.”

            “Yes sir.”

            “Have a good evening.”

            “On the other side of the bar,” Jake adds, and there’s more yes sirs and mumbling agreement and they all move off, some with nervous glances over their shoulders.

            “This is why I don’t like coming to Navy bars,” Petra mutters, and Jake grins at her.

            “Petra, I am never going to want to meet you anywhere but a Navy bar from now on. That was amazing.”

…         …         …

            “Bradley… I’d like to talk to you about something.”

            “Sure, of course. What is it?”

            “I’d like to offer my services as a surrogate.”

            Bradley gapes, knows he must freeze because Jake reaches over and closes his mouth with a not-so-gentle finger on his jaw.

            “That’s a hell of an offer Petra…” Jake starts, cautious, and Bradley is already shaking his head.

            “We can’t ask you to do that.”

            “You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

            Bradley doesn’t know what to say, looks to Jake who is looking completely shook. He knows Jake’s family would never, that he continues to be amazed by Bradley and his weird family dynamics but loves them all the same.

            “And I know you would never ask. Which, again, is why I’m offering. You guys would make great dads. If that’s something you want to do.”

            “Holy shit… you’re actually serious.”

            “Of course I am. Mama is a doctor. I already talked to her about the risks.”

            “Thank you Petra. We’ll have to talk about it. You can change your mind as well…” Jake says, and he’s gone stiff and formal, Bradley doesn’t like it, but he’s also used to it, a rarer form of Jake’s defense system.

            “Oh. I know. Mama made me talk to someone. Several someone’s. Then said I probably wouldn’t change my mind until I was actually giving birth and cursing you both…”

            “You… that’s… quite the bombshell,” Bradley mumbles, reaching for Jake’s hand and gripping it, feels Jake’s fingers grip back just as tightly.

            “Well. I thought I’d tell you sooner rather than later. You’ll need time to figure everything out, because I’m only signing up until the baby or babies are born. I know I don’t want to be a mom.”

            “You’d… do it more than once?” Jake asks, voice rough.

            “Well, yeah. Of course. I can’t imagine growing up without my siblings. You need to have at least two.”

            “Holy shit…” Bradley breathes. “Thanks Pet… we’ll, uh, we’ll talk about it and let you know as soon as possible, okay?”

            “Yeah, of course.”

2024

            Tom doesn’t know quite what Pete is upset and worked up about, but he’s used to waiting him out. Sometimes Pete doesn’t know himself what it is that’s bothering him, and he’ll bring it to Tom soon enough. He suspects it has to do with Petra being pregnant, although it’s early days yet and Tom has already dealt with both Bradley and Jake freaking out over the whole ordeal. He’d brazenly told them that this is the easy part, that it’s once the baby is born that they’ll really start freaking out.

            Out of the four of them, he’s the one with the most experience of being around pregnant women. Of course, Sarah and Melissa are offering their own support, but Jake and Bradley have taken to asking any question that pops into their heads with no regard to how sensible or ridiculous it might be, or the time of day or night they’re sending the message. He’s taken to muting notifications, but leaving the ringing option on, because he does still want to be reachable in case of emergency. Asking his opinion between different formula brands does not constitute an emergency. Especially when the baby isn’t even here, is a good six or seven months away.

            Bradley has put in his papers to retire from the Navy. That’s fortunately timed to finish in six months, which is just as well as Tom cannot imagine him having nothing to do between now and then. Jake on the other hand has been busting his gut working on another promotion and Tom has tried to get him to ease off a little. With both Maverick and Bradley out, it leave Jake as the sole active aviator with air-to-air kills and he knows the Navy is eager to keep him, and keep him happy. Tom is just going to need to teach Jake how to tweak those to get his way sometimes, and to know when to capitulate.

            Bradley and Jake have talked about their plans, sought their advice about where to base themselves. Decided that North Island makes the most sense because while Bradley can and will follow Jake to those positions he’s deployed on land, but when he’s sent onto a carrier for months on end Bradley will be grateful for the support that he, Mav, Sarah and Melissa can and will offer. Especially when the second baby arrives, although that’s assuming Petra really goes through with this a second time, if Bradley and Jake haven’t changed her mind with their slightly unhinged behavior. It’s probably a good thing she’s in Texas for the next few months, insisting on working; she can choose to ignore them and Tamsin is there as well which is reassuring.

            “I… do you sometimes feel like you don’t deserve the life you’ve got?”

            “What?” Tom asks, looking up from the crossword and processes what he just heard; Harley stirs and looks at him with one eye open before settling back to sleep. “No. We’ve worked damn hard to have everything we have.”

            “Just… I know. We’re so lucky. We’ve got this amazing family. I just… I don’t think I ever thought of Bradley becoming a dad himself. Something else Nick and Carole will never see. We get to become grandparents and they…”

            “Well shit Pete… they didn’t get to be here for any of it, but it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve it. It’s not like we murdered them. And do you think they would want Bradley to be alone, or for us to miss out on it all. You were part of their family and always would have been if they’d lived.”

            “Yeah, yeah I know. I just. Bradley’s mine. I’ve always… he’s always held a special place in my heart. He’s my kid you know. Just… he’s going to be even more my kid.”

            “Uh. How exactly?”

            “He’s going to be the father of my grandkids… Our grandkids. I feel like I’m really part of their family now, my blood being tied into theirs with the baby. Holy shit. We’re going to have grandchildren Tom…”

            “Oh Pete… come here…”

            Pete doesn’t cry very often, wasn’t there for Petra’s birth or a lot of her childhood at all really, but he’s going to be around a lot for this. Doesn’t have any choice in the matter, unless he decides to disappear to the hangar for a couple of nights. He’s not going to tell Pete he’s being silly, emotions don’t work that way and he just can’t believe that he’s going to be a grandfather either. He had thought, assumed, that the joys in his life had been made clear to him and finite in their number, not that he might have new people enter his life.

            Naïve of him he supposes.

            Well, he’s got a few months to get used to the idea.

            He can’t wait.

…         …         …

            “Hey Tim Tam… what’s up?” Bradley asks, and she rolls her eyes at the nickname but he slides the packet of chocolate cookies and offers her one. Her and Petra are visiting for a week, bookended by two weekends. Jake is massaging Petra’s feet while they watch car racing and he’s well aware it’s their bonding time, so Tamsin hovering in the kitchen gives him an excuse and a distraction. He watches as she scans the wine rack and picks a bottle. He’d make a quip about her making herself at home but he suspects she bought nearly all of the bottles, and he’s always insisted they treat it like their third home. He can’t change up the rules on them now. He follow her out to the back garden, smile soft as they walk past Petra and Jake yelling at the TV, oblivious to them passing through. She’s obviously got something she wants to offload.

            “How did you know you were in love?”

            “Uh…” Bradley’s eyes go wide, because of all the questions he could be asked that is not one he even really has an answer to even now. “I don’t know if I’m the right person to answer that question. It took me years to figure my shit out. Maybe Jake would be better to talk to?”

            “Jake isn’t my brother… you are.”

            “I mean… Jake’s your brother-in-law. Okay. Sorry. I just… I really think he might have a perspective that would be more useful…”

            “Okay. Can I just talk to you for a bit first?”

            “Yeah. Of course. You know that.”

            “Okay. So… I think I’m in love.”

            Bradley bites back his first automatic response, because her shoulder punches hurt and she wouldn’t hesitate if she thinks he’s being a sarcastic shithead. It’s not always appreciated, not like it is with Jake and their friends.

            “Okay. I didn’t… uh. Is this a problem?” he finally settles on asking, because he hadn’t even been aware she’d been dating or seeing anyone, and that doesn’t mean she hasn’t met someone and fallen in love.

            “I thought we were just friends… but…”

            “One of the best foundations for a relationship is friendship. You’ve known them for a while then?”

            She nods then, chews on her bottom lip and she’s not meeting his eyes and that’s unusual…

            “Tamsin…?”

            “I just. I didn’t think I’d ever fall in love with a guy in the military…”

            “Wait. He’s… he’s in the service?”

            “Yeah…”

            “Do I know him?”

            “Yes.”

            “Who?” Bradley asks, and the protective streak he usually ignores has just raised its head and he’s wondering who the hell it is that has Tamsin sitting here looking so uncertain.

            “It’s Rob…”

            “Who the fuck is Rob?”

            “Robert.”

            “You… you mean Bob?”

            “I am not calling him by his stupid callsign!”

            “Uh…” Bradley starts, blinks, because of everyone’s callsigns Bob’s is by far the least stupid he’s ever heard. Much like the man, really. And he knew her and Bob had become friends during lockdown a few years ago, that Bob has been based in Texas at Corpus.

            “You know it’s not what he gets called at home right? All his family call him Rob or Robbie? Bob is definitely a callsign.”

            “You’ve… you’ve met his family?”

            “Um. Just through a video call once. They rang while we were having lunch and I told him to answer. So. Yeah.”

            “Bob.”

            “Yeah.”

            He likes Bob. Will like him a lot less if he hurts Tamsin, but…

            “If you have to fall in love with a guy then… yeah. He’s good. Nice. I like him. He treating you right?”

            She rolls her eyes at that and Bradley blows out a breath, puts both of his hands up in surrender. Heaven forbid he care. Jesus. He keeps his mouth shut and wonders what he’s going to be like if he has a daughter. Oh fuck. Well. At least he’s had plenty of practice.

            “Yes. I’m just…”

            “Just what?”

            “It’s not weird?”

            “Weird how?”

            “He’s… a bit older than me. Settled. Your friend and squadron member…”

            “How long have you guys been secretly dating?”

            “We haven’t. We became friends back in 2020, during –”

            “When he was living with us. Yeah. And…”

            “We just kept talking and then we’ve chatted and talked, had meals together whenever he’s been passing through. Then a couple of weeks ago he asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner and I asked as friends or something more and he… his whole face just lit up Bradley. Like I had maybe given him that magic of a Christmas morning as a kid? You know?”

            Bradley does know, and the fact that Bob is looking at Tamsin like that, it making her feel special and magical and… like she could be his entire world.

            “Yeah. Yeah I know… so you went to dinner?”

            “Mmm. He’s… he’s so funny. And sweet. And so handsome…”

            “Okay… you know Mav and Ice are going to have an opinion right?”

            “Yeah. That’s the other thing I wanted to talk about. Robbie –”

            “Robbie?”

            “Bradley! Focus!”

            “Sorry. Just, uh, go on.”

            “Rob seems to think I’m maybe worried about tell them, and I’m not. But he might be, and he doesn’t want to ask permission –”

            “Good,” Bradley mutters, and he still gets hit in the shoulder and he pulls a face. “I’m just saying! You get to make your own decisions!”

            “I do! And we all know it. But I think he wants to show me he doesn’t care about who my parents are.”

            “They’re nearly all retired…”

            “You really think that matters?”

            “No. I guess not. So… what? Bob’s just going to rock up to Ice and Mav’s and pick you up for a date all the way from Texas?”

            “Oh… oh my god Bradley! You’re a genius!”

            “Uh. Am I?”

            “That’s perfect! Thank you!”

            “No worries… any time,” Bradley offers, and wonders what it is he said exactly.

…         …         …

            Petra and Tamsin are both staying for a week, splitting their time between the three different houses. Petra is currently at Bradley’s letting Jake pamper her, which is maybe helping his little freakout about his impending fatherhood of making it worse. Pete’s not sure, he doesn’t remember freaking out this much, however he also knew he wasn’t really the one who’d be primarily responsible. Thinking about Petra and the rollercoaster accident, being the first of them on the scene to comfort her and make sure she was okay, well, he likes being there for them all.

            There’s someone at the front door. He grumbles under his breath as he heads towards it, because Tamsin is here, and Ice, and yet he’s the one getting up to answer the door. His attitude changes abruptly when he opens it and Bob is standing there looking equal parts steadfast and nervous.

            “Bob. What are you doing here?”

            “Evening Maverick. I’m here to pick up Tamsin?”

            “Tamsin?”

            Pete blinks. He wonders if Robert Floyd has any entries in any of Ice’s little notebooks he still hasn’t cracked the code for. He knows Jake has been gifted the notebooks, and taught the code and the idea of Jake Bradshaw climbing the ranks makes him smile.

            “Yes. Your eldest daughter?”

            “I… I know who Tamsin is. I just…”

            “Sorry Papa, I was just finishing getting ready. Hi Rob…”

            “Rob?” Pete asks, and Tamsin is there dressed in jeans and slouchy top, but her hair and makeup is all carefully done and she looks gorgeous.

            “Tamsin. You look beautiful.”

            “Thank you. Shall we go?”

            “Of course. Night Maverick.”

            “Night…” Pete says, watching as Tamsin skips down the front steps, Bob’s hand on her lower back. “How long has that been going on?” he mutters under his breath.

            “Who was it?” Ice asks, appearing in the door of his study and Pete waves wordlessly at the now retreating figures and looks at Ice.

            “You have anything on Robert Floyd?”

            “Robert Floyd? I… no. I don’t think so. Why?”

            “He just picked Tamsin up for a date.”

            Ice looks completely blindsided and it’s nice to have company there at least. He knows logically that they haven’t ever known details of any of Tamsin’s boyfriends prior to her bringing them home and them sitting through family dinners where he and Ice grilled them under the guise of polite interest. Robert Floyd though is someone that Ice can skip all those steps with. He’s aware it’s overstepping some boundaries, but he can’t bring himself to care. They’ve done it already for Bradley, doing it again for Tamsin seems easy. The door is already open.

            Except it isn’t.

            He’s retired. They’ve both retired.

            Doesn’t quite have access to the same resources as he used to.

            He could of course call in favors but… wait. What is he so worried about? Bradley and Jake will know Bob far better than any notes Ice might have. Plus Bob has already been around for several family dinners, he’s not going to be easily intimidated by them.

            “Huh. I wasn’t expecting that.”

            “Neither…”

            “Hmm. I’ll invite Aubrey over for dinner. Maybe have lunch with her on base one day this week. Maybe both.”

            Pete grins, because there’s the man he knows and loves.

…         …         …

            Tom comes home from lunch with Aubrey a little disgruntled. There’s nothing. Nothing. Robert Floyd has an exemplary service record, is skilled and well liked. Seems like a rule follower to the letter and he wonders if that type of person suits Tamsin, or whether he’s trying to press what he likes in Maverick onto her with how similar she is to him sometimes.

            He’s just going to have to trust that she knows what she wants. She’s never hesitated in ending her relationships that haven’t measured up to whatever ideal she holds. It’s fine. She’ll be twenty-eight at the end of the year. Hell. Petra is having a baby. They’re all old enough and adults and he needs to stop worrying so much. He walks into the kitchen, can hear noise which tells him it’s where he’s likely to find Maverick, and sure enough he’s there, standing on top of the stepladder he’s dragged in from the garage.

            “Mav… what are you doing?”

            “I’m baby proofing the cupboard up here.”

            “How is the baby going to get on top of the fridge Mav?”

            “This baby is going to have my genes, we have to prepare for every eventuality.”

            “And yet Petra never climbed onto the top of the fridge in her infancy. Just… deep breaths Pete. It’ll be okay. Kids are a lot more physically resilient than you think, trust me. We raised Bradley, Tamsin and Petra. A grandbaby should be easy. Its parents will be doing all the heavy lifting.”

            “I know… I just…”

            “You can worry, but how about we think

            His little pep talk has stopped Mav putting child-proof locks on the cupboard even he needs a step ladder to reach, but Tom gives in to the allowing of foam on every sharp edge. Knows Mav is anxious and this is his way of dealing with it, however he’s not going to imprison all his belongings in cupboards even Pete needs a stepladder to open.

…         …         …

            Bradley has never felt so ill-prepared in his life. Melissa has assured him that six weeks early is fine, that while it’s not ideal, there’s nothing to suggest anything is wrong. Despite all of that though he’s a mess. Tamsin is in the room with Petra. Melissa and Sarah are sitting with Mav and Ice across the room, because Mav looks as shaken and worried as he does. Jake’s knuckles are white on his knees and no matter how much Bradley tries he knows he’s not exactly a reassuring presence, his own nerves seeming to feed Jake’s and then feeding back to him. So they’ve settled on silence, not wanting to snap at each other through their joint worry.

            Then a nurse appears, looking at a piece of paper.

            “Bradshaw-Kazansky family?”

            “That’s… that’s us,” Ice is saying, standing and waving a hand at them all and Bradley is glad someone is there to do the talking. The nurse looks at the six of them, clearly unsure how it works but clearly decides she doesn’t care enough to ask, although she does a double take at seeing Melissa.

            “Mom and baby are both doing well. I was told mom would like to tell you the details. You’ll be able to all go in shortly, but I was looking for dad?”

            “Dads,” Jake croaks out. “We’re the dads…” he reaches for Bradley’s hand and they stand together, taking a step forward.

            “Okay. Well gentlemen, if you’d like to follow me?”

            They follow her and he tries to pay attention so he’ll be able to find his way back to the waiting room but gives up. He’ll ask for directions. Then he’s watching Jake undo the buttons of his shirt, sitting back in a large recliner and the nurse is placing a diaper-clad baby on his bare chest, covering the baby with a flannel sheet. She’s saying something about regulating body temperature, and kangaroo care and it’s all turning to static in his ears because Jake is sitting there with their child on his chest, his hand resting on its back, thumb moving back and forth and eyes transfixed on the top of its head. He’s never seen something so amazing.

            “Thank you…” he manages, quickly presses a kiss to Petra’s forehead. She’s grinning and looking pleased but tired, Tamsin is looking a little shell shocked and he wonders if he should ask or just be happy that the outcome is all he needs to know about. He goes and stands beside Jake before Tamsin pushes a chair toward him. It’s not anywhere near as comfortable as the recliner Jake is set up in, but nothing is going to make him move anytime soon. He runs his fingers over the soft fuzzy down on the baby’s head and then lets his hand rest on top of Jake’s, leans forward and presses a kiss to the side of his face.

            “Welcome to fatherhood… you look good. It suits you.”

            “Good. Not a look I’ll be getting rid of anytime soon. Yeah. I’m stuck with this one… Yeah, thank you Petra…” Jake adds, looking up at her with a watery smile and she smiles back.

            “You’re both more than welcome. I expect to always be the favorite Aunt. Sorry Tamsin, you’re automatically relegated to second place…”

            “I’m okay with that. Holy shit Petra, you were amazing… She was amazing.”

            “We’ll take your word for it,” Bradley says with a smile, because it had been something Petra had wanted, neither of them in the room. He knows Jake had been a little disappointed, however he suspects all of that is forgotten now that he’s holding their…

            “Is it a boy or girl?”

            “Oh. Boy bits. Five pounds and five ounces. You want to hear his name or wait for everyone to be here?”

            Petra had also asked if she could name the baby, considering she’s asked for very little else neither he nor Jake could say no. He trusted her to pick a color for his Bronco, he trusts her to pick a name they can live with, that the baby asleep on Jake’s chest can grow up with. The weight sounds good, he immediately wants to look it up, research average weights for premature babies.

            “Wait… we’ve waited this long,” Jake says without looking up and Bradley shares a smile with Petra and Tamsin.

            He snaps a picture of Jake with their newborn son, will send it to the Dagger group chat in a couple of days. Bob and Natasha will keep it quiet in the meantime, because they of course already know. Weirdly it’s Natasha who has had the hardest time adjusting to Bob and Tamsin dating, and given him the shovel talks to end all shovel talks. He doesn’t think Bob realized quite how close Natasha was to Tamsin and Petra, with her never talking about Bradley and his family out of habit despite being part of it for over a decade.

            Then Mav, Ice, Melissa and Sarah are entering the room, promising they’ll only be a few minutes to the nurse, who is nodding and smiling. Melissa has immediately picked up the medical chart, and Sarah is hugging Petra with tears streaming down her face and Bradley assumes it’s happy tears. Ice and Mav both hug him, then Tamsin and Petra, once Sarah has let her go. Then they’re all looking at Jake and he looks up, and no-one is going to mention that his eyes look wet.

            “You’re all here… let me introduce our newest family member. Mitchell Tom Bradshaw.”

            He hears Mav suck in a sharp shuddering breath, knows what it sounds like when someone is hit with too many emotions at once and lets himself feel smug. He knew she’d pick a good name.

…         …         …

            “They named him after us…”

            “Petra named him. She loves you. Us.”

            “We did good.”

            “Yeah. We did.”

…         …         …

            Even weeks later, finally home and functioning on less sleep than he’s used to, he will never get sick of the sight. Even better than he imagined, seeing Jake hold their son on his chest, tiny fingers curled around Jake’s index finger. He didn’t think he could love Jake more, that he could love someone else so fiercely and so immediately than he does Mitchell, but he does. His own happiness makes the tears on Jake’s face all the more shocking and he crouches down.

            “Hey. What’s wrong?”

            “Just… fuck them. I just… I’m always the one reaching out to them, making overtures and always having to make concessions to fit their world view. I’m over it. I don’t want our kids thinking that I’m okay with being treated like that…”

            “Jake…”

            “No. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. We have a kid Bradley. We’re married. And they… they don’t want to hear about any of that. They just care about my latest promotion. How much of me do they really care about if they don’t also care about the people I love huh?”

            He’s so proud of Jake making Commander, knows he’s got his eyes set on the long term and he’s more than happy to support that. Bradley sucks his lips into his mouth, because he’s glad that Jake has finally come to that conclusion, but had also never wanted to push it. They’re Jake’s family after all, and he’s never met them. Will likely never meet them now. Jake has other family who do love and care about him and that’s who Bradley will save his time for.

2025

            “I’m forty, I…is that too old to have a baby?”

            Bradley opens his mouth, promptly shuts it again, is fairly certain there’s not a right answer to that question. Mitchell is sitting in his highchair, chewing on a rusk and watching them both with wide eyes. He’s never seen photos of Jake as a baby, but the green eyes and blonde hair make it obvious to anyone with eyes which of them is the biological father.

            “Do you want me to call Tamsin?” Bradley offers, because he’s pretty sure a woman is probably the best person for Natasha to be talking to. “Callie? Melissa? Sarah? Uh. Petra?” he offers as a last-ditch attempt, because Petra is off racing in Australia somewhere and even before he’d have to figure out time zones he doesn’t think Petra would be someone with answers.

            “You’re my best friend, fucking deal with it…”

            “Uh. Right. Okay. You need to talk to Coyote. Uh. Chocolate? I mean, I can’t offer you wine…”

            She laughs wetly and Mitchell laughs as well, high and bright and her eyes slide sideways to him and Bradley wonders if having an eight-month-old baby sitting there when you’re freaking out about being pregnant is a good or bad thing.

            “Do you like it?”

            “What?”

            “Being a parent.”

            “Yeah. I… I love it. It’s… yeah.”

            “No regrets?”

            “Oh, I have plenty of regrets, but not about this. Not about marrying Jake or leaving the Navy…”

            “I just… Javy… he just… it was immediate. I don’t want him to propose because I’m pregnant!”

            “He’s had the ring for over three years. He’s not proposing because you’re pregnant. Well. He probably is, because that clearly made him pull the trigger but he’s been waiting for the perfect moment to ask you…” Jake says from the doorway and both he and Natasha turn to look at him, Mitchell squeals with delight and Bradley feels his insides his just turn to warm soupy goop watching Jake’s face soften as he looks back.

            “How’s my best boy… you been a good boy for daddy?”

            “What?” Natasha asks.

            “Javy. He’s all twisted up in knots thinking you’re going to end things with him.”

            “I don’t want to end things with him!”

            “Don’t tell me that, tell him. And ask him when and where he bought the ring. Man seemed to take lessons from the Rooster school of romance…”

            “Hey! It got me you didn’t it?” Bradley

            “Mmm. Despite my better judgement,” Jake teases and Bradley wraps his arms around him and hugs him tight, lifting him off the ground before placing a comically loud smacking kiss on his cheek because it makes Mitchell laugh.

            “Ugh. How are you both still so sickeningly sweet.”

            “We work at it,” Bradley replies with a laugh.

…         …         …

            It’s harder to get everyone together, schedules and careers spread out over the globe. However, Petra’s twenty-seventh birthday seems to be the focal point for the family gathering this summer. It’s a big lunch, timed between Mitchell’s naps and Tom won’t admit that he also likes having the odd afternoon nap now, something that the cats and dog all seem to agree is a good idea.

            Aubrey is coming, as is Slider. Natasha joining them is standard, however Machado will be coming with her, they’re apparently engaged and expecting a baby. And Robert Floyd is of course coming with Tamsin, Tom’s come to appreciate the quieter man, his calm assessment of situations and then cutting right to the heart of the matter. He understands now what Tamsin sees in him, other than the fact that he clearly dotes on her and thinks she’s amazing; a sentiment she for once seems to return. He’s glad, they both deserve good people.

            Wait.

            Is that a diamond he sees on her finger?

            He has some questions to ask.

…         …         …

            During lunch Pete takes every opportunity to steal away his grandson. He doesn’t need to, sees him frequently, however he loves the excuse to crawl around on the ground and play, even if his knees and back protest a little when he does it for too long. He’s not old yet and he can stretch it out.

            “Wait. His name is Mitchell Tom Bradshaw? I’d like to remind you that I was your favorite uncle when you were growing up kid!” Slider interjects into whatever conversation he’s having and Pete feels smug.

            “Only because my real favorite uncle became my dad,” Bradley says with a laugh, and then he’s saying that Petra chose the name and Pete’s glad the attention isn’t on him because he feels like he’s been sucker punched. Bradley has called him dad once or twice, the first time when he was a teenager and Pete remembers Bradley promptly bursting into tears. He’d thought that it had been a slip of the tongue more than anything else, not that Bradley seriously considered him his father. Stupid of him when he considers Bradley his son. He remembers at the time feeling a same of loss renewed afresh at the thought of Goose and he looks at Mitchell trying to chew on a rubber ball.

            “You know what I’m going to do Mitchell? I’m going to tell you all about your Grandpa Goose…”

…         …         …

            “So… you guys are going well.”

            “We are. You didn’t have to run off to Australia you know. We weren’t going to try and give him back.”

            Petra laughs at that, blows a raspberry on Mitchell’s stomach and shakes her head, smiling as he giggles and tries to crawl away.

            “I know. It wasn’t just for my sake though. I wanted to give you time to bond with him. And I did lie around on a beach for two weeks. Mama made sure of that. But. You guys ready to do it again?”

            Jake chokes on his drink, coughing and spluttering and Bradley looks at her incredulously.

            “Are you?”

            “I’m not saying right now, but maybe next summer?”

            “Fucking hell Petra… we have the easy part. It’s your body you’re…”

            “I’d argue that you have the harder part. A lifetime is a hell of a commitment. I don’t want to be a mom, but seeing the two of you like this? Knowing that’s because of what I did? I do want that.”

            “Then we’re not going to say no. We’d love to give Mitchell a sibling.”

2026

            Tamsin’s thirtieth birthday is a big deal, mainly because it’s also her wedding day. Jake’s already been warning Bob about the perils of having a partner sharing a birthday and wedding anniversary, telling him about how demanding and annoying people can be, making sure Bradley hears him, but it’s ruined by the badly hidden wink Jake sends in Bob’s direction.

            “As long as you don’t pass yourself off as the gift every year you’ll be fine,” Bradley says with a laugh, kissing Jake on the cheek and slapping him on the ass as he swoops down to pick Mitchell up and throw him into the air. He’s a robust two-year-old, and they joke about his middle name being Trouble rather than Tom. Silence has become incredibly suspicious.

            Petra is five months pregnant and has informed them that this pregnancy feels even easier; when Bradley expresses concern that he hadn’t been aware that the first one had been bad she just says she had no frame of reference then. She has no morning sickness, no extreme tiredness and also seems to be glowing the glow which people apparently talk of with regards to pregnant people. She does bemoan the fact that she can’t drink at her sister’s wedding, but then she shares a look with Natasha about how maybe that’s for the best and he wonders what happened there.

            Natasha and Petra are Tamsin’s bridesmaids, while Bob has asked him and Jake to stand with him. It’s a full Navy wedding, and it’s been a while since he’s worn his dress whites, but they still fit fine. Tamsin’s dress is white with gold detailing and her and Bob both can’t stop smiling. Jake looks equally stunning and Bradley can’t take his eyes off him.

            “I do love a man in uniform…”

            “Well, you sure got a wide range to pick from here.”

            “Only interested in one.”

            “Yeah? Do I know him?”

            “I think you’re familiar. Going to make the most of the empty house while we have it right? No chance of any interruptions…”

            “I like the way you think.”

2027

            “Ah, Uncle Ron… you were so upset about Mitchell not being name after you, I thought you should be the first to know. We named her after you…”

            “Jesus kid, I was kidding…”

            “Meet Slider…”

            The look Slider gives Bradley is so unimpressed it makes him burst into laughter at the sight. Serve the man right.

            “You’re not serious I hope, that’s a terrible name for a baby. Should have got Petra to name this one too…” Slider is saying, but he’s holding his arms out, ready to take the baby from Bradley, who doesn’t seem in any particular rush to let go of his daughter and Pete doesn’t blame him, he’s pretty sure she hasn’t slept anywhere but in someone’s arms since she was born three weeks ago.

            “Well, we agree on that at least,” Bradley says, settling the baby in Slider’s arms. He notes that Tamsin is off to the side and discreetly filming with her phone. Good girl. “Her name is actually Veronica Carole Bradshaw. Closest name to Ron we could both agree on…”

            “I… I was joking kid. You didn’t need to…”

            Pete smiles, knows a little how Slider might be feeling; has heard Jake talk haltingly of how Slider had been his first CO after flight school, that he’d held the man in high regard before he’d become part of his extended family. He continues to stack blocks with Mitchell so that he can measure his height against them and lets himself feel the sense of happiness that being surrounded by his family brings him now.

…         …         …

            He’s not expecting Jake home early, so when he hears the car he already knows something is wrong. Not usual or standard for a Tuesday afternoon. He doesn’t know what to expect, but Jake’s standing in the doorway to the garage and he looks pale, maybe a little green.

            “Are you okay?”

            “I… I’m… My dad’s died.”

            Oh shit. Bradley doesn’t know what to say. Isn’t going to offer his condolences. Wonders how Jake found out, because as far as he’s aware Jake hasn’t called his family since Mitchell was born nearly three years ago.

            “What do you want to do?”

            “I don’t fucking know.”

            Bradley nods, supposes that’s probably a normal response right now and hands Nic over. He hadn’t realized it when they’d been trying to chose a name, he’d agreed with Veronica after hearing about Jake’s professional relationship with Slider, despite thinking it was a mouthful. Then he’d heard Jake calling her Nic and Nicole and he’d realized that there was his dad’s name hidden alongside Slider’s, and in calling her Nicole it’s a combination of both his parents’ names.

            It makes him feel… it makes him feel.

…         …         …

            It’s probably the biggest argument they’ve had. Jake insisting he go alone, and Bradley insisting the complete opposite. Held in hissed whispers while the kids were sleeping he’d finally asked Jake if he’d let Bradley go alone if it was him. That had made Jake waver and Bradley knew then he’d be coming. Bradley doesn’t want to go to the actual funeral, but he wants to be there, waiting for Jake, to wrap his arms around him and remind him that he’s not alone anymore.

            He hears the knock on the motel door, loud, and he’s glad both kids are already awake. He answers it, Nic tucked up under his chest while she gums on her fist while her bottle warms up. Standing there is a woman who has to be Jake’s mother, the family resemblance is striking. With her is a younger man and woman. They also look related but Jake has never mentioned siblings and he feels uneasy.

            “Can I help you?”

            “Oh. I’m sorry. I was looking for…”

            Well fuck. She clearly thought Jake had come to Texas alone. He knows Jake told her he was getting married, because she’d hung up on him and then not answered his calls for weeks.

            “If you’re looking for Jake he should be back shortly.”

            “Who are you?”

            Well. He’s not going to lie. And if she’s here for Jake she can take everything that comes with him.

            “I’m Jake’s husband.”

            He can tell the words hit like blows, the older woman almost staggering back and he jiggles Nic a little. He’s torn between indignation that she dare come here, but also the other two are simply looking a little confused.

            “Daddy… I’m firsty…”

            “Is your water bottle empty?” Bradley asks, looking down at Mitchell and he can see her looking. Wants to step to block her view. Mitchell has Jake’s wide green eyes and blonde hair, there is no mistaking that Jake is his father.

            “Juice?” Mitchell asks, hopeful, and Bradley shakes his head, hides a smile.

            “I’ll get you some apple slices,” Bradley says to him, compromising. He resists all his internal manners to not apologize to the woman watching them. “Would you like to wait for Jake?”

            “Who’re you?” Mitchell asks, staring up at the now shocked looking woman.

            She can’t just hang up on this, pretend this doesn’t exist. She might want to try, if she turns and walks away now, lets Bradley close the door on her. But she is still Jake’s mom and this is the first time he’s met her, dressed in stained sweat pants, baby spit-up on his shoulder. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t feel any need to try and impress her.

            “I’m… I’m your Grandma?”

            “Like Nanny Sarah and Granma ’lissa?”

            Bradley bites his lips between his teeth, eyes narrowed and she’s looking between Mitchell and him with some sort of hope and sadness and he sucks in a breath and lets it out slowly. He might want to snap and snarl but Mitchell is right there.

            “Yeah. Just like that darling. She’s Daddy’s mom.”

            “Oh. Can I meet your mommy too?”

            Bradley’s heart feels like it’s being squeezed tight in his chest.

            “No sweetheart, she died a long time ago.”

            Mitchell is frowning, and Bradley knows death isn’t a concept he’ll understand yet, vaguely remembers from firsthand experience.

            “Oh. Okay. Maybe later?”

            “No sweetheart. You can’t meet dead people…”

            He really wishes he wasn’t having such a wrought conversation with his son in front of an estranged family member.

            “Oh. Okay. Apple juice?”

            “Apple slices,” Bradley corrects. “But you can have a glass of water to dip them in, okay?”

            “Okay!”

            Bradley wishes everyone was as easy to please, turns back to his audience standing just outside the doorway.

            “I… look. I need to look after the kids. If you want to see Jake you can wait for him,” it’s June in Texas, and he hates that he’s about to do this. “Come in.”

            “Sorry, I missed you name…”

            Bradley uncharitably thinks I didn’t tell you my name but he smiles blandly, doesn’t offer to shake hands, uses Nic as a convenient excuse.

            “I’m Bradley Bradshaw.”

            “Bradshaw… that’s…”

            “Mmm. Jake took my name. He doesn’t have a particularly strong attachment to Seresin.”

            “Oh. And… the children?”

            “How about you tell me your names first,” Bradley offers, glad that for once Mitchell hasn’t decided to interject his name into the conversation, is happily dipping his apple slices in the cup of water and sucking the water off.

            “Jake hasn’t talked about us?” the young woman asks, and he thinks she’s maybe a little older than Tamsin.

            “Should he have?” Bradley asks, lets a little callousness bleed through into his tone, lets his eyes narrow toward Jake’s mom again.

            “We’re his cousins…” the guy says, and he seems annoyed at the idea of Jake not mentioning him. Bradley doesn’t care for their feelings at all. He pulls the bottle from the warmer and checks the temperature. One-handed he does up a bib around Nic’s neck and then settles her back into the crook of his arm, offering her the bottle which she sucks on with gusto.

            “Great. Jake’s never mentioned you. I think he was granting you all the same courtesy we were granted. Jake was told he wasn’t allowed to let anyone else in the family know he was gay…”

            “What? That’s ridiculous. Who would tell him that?” the man scoffs and Bradley looks at Jake’s mom.

            “Mrs Seresin, would you like to explain? Share where Jake heard that?”

            Bradley feels a little meanspirited as he listens to her stutter out her reasons, and he supposes twenty years ago in rural Texas, with a staunch church-going community it would have been shameful if you cared more about public opinion than your own child. But it wasn’t a community the forbid him from telling, it was his family. Jake’s cousins are looking more and more horrified, and he still doesn’t know their names. And he can’t remember Jake’s mom’s name either. She’s fallen silent and her hands are shaking.

            “I can’t make you anything right now, but please help yourselves to tea and coffee…” Bradley offers, nodding his head toward the kitchen. It’s all basic stuff, it’s not like this is their home, otherwise he’s fairly certain he wouldn’t have invited any of them in. Doesn’t know if he’ll ever want to invite her into his home. None of them move though.

            “Babe, I’m back. I got the –” Jake starts, but he stops mid stride upon seeing everyone there. Bradley watches as Jake’s face shutters and he feels bad that he’s been ambushed, should have maybe called him and given him a heads up. “Mom. What are you doing here?” Bradley steps in close to Jake, leans in and gives him a kiss to the cheek all while continuing to give Nic her bottle. He refuses to make anyone in this room comfortable except for his husband and kids.

            “You… you left the funeral before I could talk to you.”

            “You don’t want to talk to me mom. You don’t want to hear about what’s going on in my life. You made that very clear when you hung up on me each time I said Bradley’s name…”

            “What the actual… uh. Sorry.”

            Jake’s eyes swing to his cousins and Bradley wonders what tales have been getting told about Jake’s apparent refusal to visit. What kind of character do they think Jake has to not let his mom come here alone.

            “I think you should go. My number hasn’t changed. You can pick up the phone and call me just as easily as all the times I called you. I… I’m happy. I have an amazing family that all love me just as I am. If… if you want to try and be a part of that then… then you need to put in the work.”

            Bradley feels so proud of him, can see his mom accepting his words and nodding and Bradley wonders what Jake’s life would have looked like if things had been a bit different. She’s making her way towards the door and Jake’s cousins are looking between her and Jake.

            “It was nice to meet you Bradley.”

            “Hopefully next time we can meet under nicer circumstances,” Bradley offers, because that isn’t actually a lie, and he still doesn’t know her fucking name.

            “Hey man, sorry about the attitude earlier. I just… had heard shit. Not accurate shit. I’m Jackson. Nice to meet you and I’d say welcome to the family but… holy shit.”

            That makes Bradley and Jake both huff, Jake shaking his head and Bradley shifts Veronica back to upright, passing Jake the bottle before deciding to switch and give Jake the baby. He can probably do with the touch and comfort and Bradley will save wrapping him in his arms for when everyone has gone.

            “Yeah, wasn’t exactly going to roll out the red carpet…” Bradley mutters.

            “Nah man, I get it. It’s sweet. Everyone just thinks Jake’s this asshole leaving his parents behind and doesn’t call. Most people didn’t think he was going to show for the funeral. Don’t think anyone is going to be prepared for the truth…”

            “Can we tell people? Family I mean? Explain your side? I’m Joanne by the way… I… we’d… some of us would really like to get to know you. All of you.”

            “That’s honest at least,” Jake says with a sigh. “Yeah, go ahead and tell people. No worse than them thinking I’m a neglectful son I guess.”

            “We don’t care. Uh. We do care. But. Not about the whole… gay thing,” Joanne says awkwardly and Bradley wonders if Jake’s mom brought two younger cousins that she thought might be more accepting. A question for another day. Or maybe never. They’ll have to see how it goes.

2028

            He blinks, certain he’s seeing things but the view doesn’t change. Petra and Tamsin, both curled up on the sofa, curled against each other just like they used to do when they were small. A different house. A different sofa. But it’s definitely them. There are dozens of used tissues strewn all over the table and floor and he moves quietly, needs to tidy them up otherwise Ducati will wreak havoc and it’ll look like a snowstorm inside. He isn’t surprised about Petra, she’s staying with them. However Tamsin and Bob are meant to staying with Melissa and Sarah, all gathered for Veronica’s first birthday party which is meant to be tomorrow. Or rather later today. Well. There’s nothing for it.

            “Girls… you need to wake up…”

            “Dad?”

            “Yeah… It’s after midnight. Time for bed. The spare room is made up as well.”

            “Thanks.”

            “You’re welcome sweetheart. Everything okay?”

            “Yeah. Nothing a good cry didn’t fix.” He frowns at that, because crying has never equated itself to feeling better in his book, but Tamsin isn’t looking sad, instead she looks calm and relaxed, and he supposes she has been asleep. “You’re going to be a grandfather again. I was just… freaking out a little. Petra talked me through it.”

            “Oh. Oh sweetheart, congratulations,” he murmurs quietly, because he knows they’ve been trying for over a year, hugs her close and then holds his arm open for Petra to join in.

…         …         …

            Jake is promoted to Captain and Pete grips him in a tight hug, can’t begin to tell him what it means to see Captain Bradshaw adorn his name plate.

…         …         …

            Catherine Seresin is joining them for Thanksgiving.

            It’s taken over a year of careful phone conversations, some video calls and Bradley can concede that she has been trying. However neither he nor Jake want her staying with them, and he’s glad Jake said that first. They know she’s likely motivated by the fact that there are grandchildren in the picture, and he’s spoken to her on the phone a couple of times, when Jake’s asked him to answer.

            She is standing there now, looking at the photos on the walls and nearly every ledge and shelf above three foot. There are professional family portraits and promotion shots mixed with more candid family moments. They all tell a story and everyone they love is there, including his parents. He can see her studying them, likely trying to make sense and put faces to names. They’ve shared photos of themselves and Mitchell and Veronica.

            He has listened to Jake’s conversations with her, he’s also held Jake in his arms as he cried afterward. Wonders if she is aware of just how much hurt and damage she causes with her thoughtless comments. He knows he’s caused some of Jake’s past hurts, but he hopes like hell that they are indeed all in the past. He’s grateful that Jake trusts him enough to let himself cry and be vulnerable when he needs to be. Right now though Jake seems cautiously optimistic.

            Thanksgiving is going to be big. The first time everyone has been able to gather together since Tamsin and Bob’s wedding two years ago. Javy, Natasha and their twins are staying with them, and he’s glad it’s only for a few nights, although Mitchell is having a blast with his younger cousins staying. Having them as guests gives them a plausible excuse to offer Catherine Seresin a room at Ice and Mav’s place, which she’d accepted with grace

            “Trial by fire…” Bradley had muttered, because he doesn’t think Mav and Ice are difficult, but he grew up with them. He’s never thought about them from an outsider point of view before, let alone one who is sort-of homophobic. Ice and Mav both are incredibly protective though, won’t put up with any nonsense. Petra is also staying, along with Slider. Bob and Tamsin are staying with Melissa and Sarah, along with their newborn daughter, Natalie. The meal is going to be complete and utter chaos, but it will be full of laughter and love. The fact that Jake’s mom is going to be there is just something he’s going to have to deal with. Endure. Maybe it won’t be as bad as he thinks.

            Mitchell and Petra are coloring at the table, pictures of racecars because they’re both obsessed. Petra has already taken Mitchell for a ride on a skateboard, much to Bradley’s horror and Mav’s cackling glee. Bradley wonders if he’ll go bald or grey first. Nic has fallen asleep on Slider’s chest as he sits back in his recliner, both of them content and Ceccato has joined the pile. Ice is making dinner, insisting that he doesn’t need help.

            “You both look so handsome…”

            “Back when they knew what a solid night of sleep felt like,” Mav jokes and Bradley rolls his eyes but doesn’t disagree. Sleep has become a hot commodity. “That was Tamsin’s wedding, so they were already experiencing sleepless nights with Mitchell.”

            Catherine continues to look, asking questions of both Jake and Maverick and Bradley lets himself relax a little, knows he’s unlikely to relax completely until they’re back home.

…         …         …

            Tom stands in the kitchen and waits for the coffee to finish. He makes a large pot when Petra is staying, certain she drinks directly from the pot. It’s also his habit to make two cups of coffee and then take them back to bed when Pete isn’t staying at the hangar. He hears footsteps, turns, half expecting to see Mav or may Petra. Instead, it’s Catherine, looking tired.

            “Coffee?”

            “I… yes please.”

            “Happy Thanksgiving,” Tom says, passing her a mug and gesturing toward the creamer and sugar.

            “Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving…”

            It’s awkward, but he’s aware that she is trying. Has been trying. He knows Bradley doesn’t trust her, but his conversations with Jake about the matter make him think she’s simply been ignorant rather than malicious. They drink in silence for a few moments and he wonders what topics of conversation might be safe. Then Pete stumbles in and he feels relieved, given something to do. He pours another mug, directs his sleepy husband to a chair and presses a kiss to his forehead, well aware that he has an audience. Then Slider is staggering in looking grumpy and Tom sighs, pours another mug and sets the pot to refill.

            “Mitchell, I swear you have all the grace of a herd of elephants…”

            Pete simply grunts and Tom isn’t sure the other two are aware they have company.

            “Mitchell? I thought your name was Peter?”

            “Pete. Mitchell is my last name. Oh. Good morning Catherine…”

            “Oh. Morning. I… I didn’t realize Mitchell was named after you.”

            “Petra named him. Was her choice…”

            “And a very good choice she made too,” Tom says.

            “Petra… your daughter?” Catherine asks him, and Tom knows his surprise shows on his face. She hasn’t met Sarah yet, or Tamsin. Has no idea how much Petra looks like Pete. And how it’s very likely Jake hasn’t shared this information with her, either by simple omission or by choice.

            “Yes. Our youngest. She offered to be Bradley and Jake’s surrogate.”

            “Oh… I. I didn’t realize. Jake didn’t tell me.”

            “He likely has his reasons. She… she knew Jake and Bradley would make very good parents. Wanted to make that possible for them.”

            “That’s… very generous of her.”

            “Yes. Her mother’s influence I suspect,” Tom says quietly, because of course Petra had been able to talk with her about it in depth.

            “I look forward to meeting them both.”

2029

            He wraps his arms around Jake, presses a kiss to the back of his neck as he looks out at the back yard, no doubt thinking about work rather than the yard work which they’d talked about needing to do. He presses another kiss, runs his hands over Jake’s ass, hums appreciatively. Glad it’s early in the morning and they’ve had a good night’s rest and have until lunch tomorrow to spend time together.

            “Hey…”

            “Hey. You trying to start something Bradshaw?”

            “Maybe.”

            “Ah. So you did have ulterior motives by arranging for the kids to spend the weekend at their grandparents…”

            “It’s our anniversary…”

            “No it fucking isn’t,” Jake counters, turning around to face him and frowning.

            “Oh. No. Not wedding anniversary. I mean… today’s the day I saw you in the club, dancing.”

            “You remember the date?”

            Jake sounds skeptical and he guesses that's fair. Bradley would love to say that he does, that the date is seared into his mind. But that wouldn’t be true. He knew it was coming up through, and he has a record of all his stations and deployments, so he’d been able to look it up, so he can say with certainty that it is today. He kisses along Jake’s jaw as he explains, saying that he thinks twenty years is worth celebrating. That he feels lucky that he can pinpoint to almost the hour when he saw Jake.

            “Bet you didn’t think you’d end up married to me…” Jake says, and he sounds a little breathless already.

            “No. Didn’t think I’d ever get that lucky. Didn’t know DADT was going to be repealed so soon after. Had sort of resigned myself to a fairly solitary future…”

            “Surrounded by your loving family. Very solitary,” Jake says dryly and Bradley shakes his head, presses Jake against the kitchen bench, grinding against him.

            “You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. I don’t though, not when you’re with me.”

            “I haven’t felt like that since we sorted our shit out…”

            “Which is coming up ten years now. Still an anniversary…”

            “Such a sap.”

            “Yep. I love you.”

            “Mmm. Love you too.”

THE END

[duskvsdawn]

What a tantalising creature

On one of your regular walks on the beach, you suddenly see a mysterious creature. His beautiful songs draw you closer, and when he comes face to face with you, he has decided you will be his mate.

≫A/N: So, uh... Twitter is flooded with fan art of Kaelix as a merman today. I had to write about it. I don't know much about how merman anatomy works, and I know it's also up to interpretation (I know a tiny bit), so I am using my imagination for a big part, bear with me lmao. I hope all of you enjoy this really experimental writing that was pushed out on a whim because holy moly, my mind went places. Tagging @celestiaras and @briskunt because I have a feeling that both of you will love this specific fic in particular (I hope so at least!!)

CW: female reader, Kaelix as a merman, and uh he wants to mate with you so it's smut, extremely scuffed sexy times cause I really need to think about how I am even going to approach this, Kaelix is a virgin, Kaelix eats reader out, then he fucks her dumb because he just has to make sure you are filled to the brim so uh kinda breeding kink

Art credits <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

If you like my works, please like, comment and reblog! It is much appreciated ❤ And if you really enjoyed it, please follow me so you can be kept up to date on future uploads!

You loved walking on the beach in the late evenings. Everything was so calm and quiet during that time of day, and you always took it as an opportunity to calm your mind and get your thoughts straight. All of a sudden, you hear a beautiful male voice singing a song. You look in the direction of the voice, and it's coming from the water. There you see a man with hair as white as snow, and eyes that shift from a beautiful ocean blue into a forest green. And the man also seems to have interesting ears. Could it be a mythical creature of some sort? You had heard some tales about mermen roaming in this area during this time of year, but you couldn't imagine that would actually be real.

You watch the man for some time as he is just relaxing in the water, still singing beautiful songs. His voice draws you closer and closer, occasionally taking a step forward, closer to the water. It seems the man hasn't noticed you yet, but it suddenly seems like he's on the move. He swims over to a large flat rock closer to shore and hoists himself onto it. A beautiful tail appears out of the water, shifting from blue to green just like his eyes. So, mermen really do exist, you suppose. You take a deep breath and walk even closer to the creature, hypnotised by his singing.

When your feet stand in the water, the man suddenly turns his head around and looks at you. "Oh, why hello there," the man says as a smirk appears on his face. Oh, you looked so beautiful to him, simply stunning. He could smell your scent now, and if he didn't know better, he'd say you're aroused. You were wearing a crop top and extremely short and tight shorts, following the curve of your hips and your ass. The creature licked his lips as he saw you walk into the water. He wasn't singing anymore, but his eyes were just as hypnotising as his voice. You had to get closer to him. You wanted to get to know him. You had to touch him.

You stood in front of the rock now, not really sure what to do next. "Feel free to join me, beautiful. The moon is absolutely stunning tonight, we could look at it together," the merman said in hopes of drawing you even closer. He didn't have to tell you twice. You climbed up on the rock and sat down next to the man. He wrapped his tail around your feet as an arm folded itself around your shoulders. You swallowed the lump in your throat to ask him the only question on your mind at that very moment.

"What's your name?" you asked with a shaky voice. The creature had put its face into your neck now, taking a good whiff of your scent, and it seemed his suspicions were true. The smell of arousal rolled off your body, and it was driving him mad. "Kaelix," the man replied as he left a searing kiss on your neck, "What's yours, beautiful?" the man continued. You told him your name. You weren't sure if it was a good idea, but you had an idea you weren't getting out of here alive anyway. Once you're drawn into a mercreature's trap, there is no escaping it. If Kaelix wanted to kill you, he could do it right here, right now. But he didn't.

Instead, he scooted even closer to you and gently took your face into his hands. "Oh... If only you knew what you do to me... You're irresistible," the merman whispered, his hot breath hitting your face. His face got even closer to yours until your lips were barely touching. You wrapped your arms around the creature and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. Kaelix hummed in approval as his tongue licked your bottom lip, asking you for entrance, which you happily granted him. His tongue was long and pointed at the tip, and it felt so smooth against your own. At this point, you were enthralled by the creature, and he was all you thought about. The merman gently pushed you onto your back and leaned over you, trapping your mouth in a hungry French kiss once more. After a little while, you broke the kiss, panting for air. With half-lidded eyes, you looked at Kaelix and gently touched his ears (if you could even consider them ears?). The creature let out another low hum and leaned into your touch, licking your hand afterwards.

"Fuck, you're so pretty. I need to have you to myself tonight. Will you let me?" the creature asked, surprisingly composed and polite about this whole thing that he was planning on doing with you. You knew what he meant by that, and he was so incredibly pretty that you couldn't deny him, even if you tried. As your breath hitched in your throat, you replied: "Yes... Yes please..." as you impatiently rubbed your legs together, looking for some sort of friction. The merman noticed what you were doing, even if you were doing it on autopilot, and it didn't even register in your own mind. The man scooted lower and spread your legs after he took off your shorts and your lacy thong.

The creature licked its lips, your smell of arousal so overwhelming to him now that it made him dizzy with need. Kaelix moved closer and licked a long stripe up your folds before he started eating you out like a man starved. His tongue occasionally entered your core, the length and the texture of it making you throw your head back, almost banging it against the hard rock beneath you. When he wasn't doing that, his mouth would be wrapped around your sensitive clit, sucking on it like his life depended on it. He wanted you to fall apart all over his face so bad, so he worked even harder to make it a reality. His tongue entered you once more as his finned hand rubbed your clit with alternating pressure and speeds. You could feel yourself getting closer, your moans turning into choked whines as the coil kept tightening. The creature moaned as he lapped up more and more of your essence like it was the most delicious meal the world had to offer. Those moans against your folds were what sent you over the edge. You moaned his name as you pulled his face even closer to your core and released all over his face. The merman kept licking and sucking to help you ride out your orgasm, and honestly, he could do this all day if you would let him. He wasn't wasting a single drop, even wiping the remaining release from his face to then lick his fingers clean.

You were panting like a dog, the afterglow washing over you. But the creature wasn't done yet, and you knew that. Kaelix moved up higher, so he was face to face with you to leave a needy kiss on your lips and then moved to your neck. He gently nibbled the skin there, and then proceeded to suck a hickey right above your collarbone. The merman started moving his scaly tail against your core. It felt strange, but the friction felt incredible. Then, you felt something different rub against you. The creature had let its member spring free from its sheath, and you curiously looked at it. It was big, both in length and in girth. It had all sorts of textures on it, and the tip was pointed, just like his tongue, and it was also curved like a gentle wave. It felt very smooth and slick, even with those textures. Kaelix let out a desperate whimper; he wanted to get inside of you so badly. You bit your lip and pulled him closer, leaving heated kisses on his neck.

"Can I put it in? Please, I need to be inside of you. I need you so bad," the creature said with a whiny moan as he hid his face in your own neck to kiss you there just as much. You nodded, and Kaelix pushed inside of you in one swift motion. A gasp of surprise left your mouth as you were stretched open so deliciously, and a sigh of relief left his as he immediately set a brutal pace. You held onto to him for dear life as his dick kept hitting the most delicious of spots, thanks to its curves and textures. You were going crazy with pleasure as it seemed he sped up even more, and you didn't even know it was possible. If it weren't for the rough surface beneath you, you'd surely be moved to a different spot due to his harsh thrusts. You were surprised at his impeccable upper body strength, he wasn't even phased by how his arms had to hold him up like this, he surely must have practised this before. But little did you know, that you were his very first mate, he was just so damn determined to fuck you until the both of you would pass out in afterglow.

He kept chanting your name over and over between whines and whimpers. He felt so sensitive, and on top of that, your seductive smell was overwhelming his senses, and it felt like absolute heaven to be inside of you. He started whimpering even harder as he hid his face in your neck once more. Seeing him enjoy himself so much only made you enjoy yourself that much more as well, and you could tell he was getting close. You wanted to get there with him, so your hand snaked between the two of you to softly pinch your sensitive clit. With your other arm still around him, you pulled him as close as possible.

"Fuckfuckfuck... I'm cumming, I'm cumming, fuck!" the creature moaned, close to a scream as its hips began to stutter against yours. You moaned just as loudly at this point, telling him you were close too. And all of a sudden, you could feel yourself getting filled up as Kaelix bit down hard on your neck. To him, this meant he had marked you as his mate forever, and no one else would ever be able to have you, even if humans thought differently about this most times. You came along with him, covering his scaly tail in your release. You were panting against his shoulder, and you expected him to pull out. But as if in a daze, he picked up the pace once more, determined to keep filling you up over and over until you were filled to the brim. After uh, could have been 12 rounds, but you lost count halfway through, to be honest, you couldn't even tell up from down anymore. You were so fucked out at this point that all you could do was moan his name like a pathetic whore. Kaelix was just as vocal as you at this point, moaning your name just as desperately as he pushed himself to his limit to fill you up one last time, that should do the trick.

His hips stuttered once more as he bit your neck again, in a different spot this time, and he filled you up with one final release. Feeling his seed fill you up sent you over the edge once more, screaming, but no sound left your throat anymore. The creature collapsed on top of you as you held him close, keeping you plugged up while he struggled to catch his breath.

"You're mine now. Only mine. No one else is allowed to have you now. You will bear my children. And I don't care if we have to do this over and over to make sure you will." Kaelix said as he let out a sigh of relief, the sexual tension leaving him for now. You had no idea if it was even possible for you to have his children, and what would happen to you from here on out, but you were curious to find out.

[ravenssunshine]

avemygo wakaremichi day one review partly as an american solo traveler 20 year old woman (who speaks japanese) and partly as a fucking lesbian

i’ve lived in japan for 4 months now (leaving next month :( ) and knowing japanese was absolutely essential to navigating the venue and directions. typically people try and speak to me in english as i am very white but this did not happen here, presumably because the venue was PACKED. completely sold out show. this was perfectly fine for me but if you don’t speak japanese be aware!

the venue was run very efficiently for how packed it was. merch pickup was scheduled ahead of time so i got to buy my stuff online (not good, spent too much) and picked it up at a designated hour. the show was also dismissed by row which was very funny to me. it was like elementary school

as i expected, most attendees were men in their 30s. sort of an uncomfortable experience for me as a 20 year old woman but i didn’t have any weird experiences we were all just there for avemygo :). however there was 0 line for the women’s bathroom which was awesome because i have never experienced that at a concert before (my previous shows have been fall out boy and taylor swift (both x2, both in the us) )

to my surprise however i came across quite a few visibly queer people! a couple of trans women, including the person sitting next to me. she let me use one of her light sticks which was awesome ❤️ so bandori IS still for the lgbts in japan. just also the straight men

you are NOT allowed to take photos or videos. no one attempted it. kind of loved living in the moment though

people don’t really sing along? i did though i couldn’t help it 💀 i tried to keep it quiet hopefully i didn’t bother the people next to me

they played clips from the anime throughout the set and this specific show followed the trajectory of the ave mujica anime. it was really cool i lost my shit watching akane yonezawa rip the masks off of each ave mujica member. my lesbian commentary is i am fully in love with her

onto my own personal experiences:

sumimi was SO cute live. love love love them im so happy they were included

mygo played the first set after sumimi and to my surprise i burst into tears as soon as the first vote was played. full on sobbing. i’ve freaked out over every avemygo related thing ive come across in japan over the also four months so i guess i shouldn’t be THAT surprised? but oh my god. i was desperately choking back tears

the sets alternated between mygo and ave mujica, four songs at a time

crychic performed in the middle in their middle school uniforms and i cried a bit then as well

then mygo performed their version of haruhikage and the difference in tomori’s voice during the crychic set and the mygo set was so cool. youchan i love you

after the mygo set they played the audio from the post haruhikage crashout but didn’t actually include the “why did you play haruhikage?!” line so someone in the audience shouted it. it was funny

back to youchan. i’ve talked about how i think sasaki rico currently has the strongest vocals in bandori but oh my god youmiya hina live is an incredible contender. she sustained some high notes for a LONG time and it was awesome. maybe it’s experience performing live over the last few years but those early mygo videos on the bandori youtube channel do NOT give her justice. oh my god. MY GOD.

as previously established i am in love with akane yonezawa. every time they showed her on the drums i lost my shit. that woman is an incredible drummer and a fantastic performer. she might just be nyamu irl

my one disappointment is that they didn’t play any covers but with a combined live and a mission to retell the anime i’m not Too surprised. maybe they will tonight? idk i’m not going i did not get tickets for both days

the girls broke character at the end for the thank you segment and they are so cute irl as well. loved it. losing my mind

ok that’s all i think thanks for reading it you did but also this was kind of just for me. here are my daughters outside and at the venue

[iceclew]

BACK TO ART Y'ALL!

(after ....an awful lot of screaming these last days.. ... hey I don't know what is wrong with me, maybe it's the spring vibes finally kicking in or smth..)

Anyway here's the concept art for Hans and Henry - Witcher AU

'Cause I can not enjoy ANY franchise, ANY game, ANY-FUCKING-THING without witcherizing it. For t'is the law here.

Go down to my overly detailed description and non-text versions for AU Hans and AU Henry here. I have my brainworms and i'll spill them out on you, if you don't step aside, so beware.

Also this time I'm not going for a mix, I'm going full Witcher universe here.

Let me tell you there is a LOT of Hansry in the making for canon and Witcher AU right now.. I just need to find a way to finish it, for I am cursed to be stuck at WIPs so far as it seems. BUT I WILL DO MY BEST !!! FOR WE NEED THE HANSRY, DON'T WE?!

YES WE DO!!

So I've read the witcher books, played game 3, and looked up several things on fandom-wikis. If anything's not entirely witcher canon here, my bad. I tried my best ok? Also I took some liberty and smushed timelines and stuff to fit the scene here.

Capon is my fucking dress up doll. I am sorry I could not not. He is so FUCKING Dandelion coded.. PLUS I had so many cool outfit ideas and well...LOOK AT HIM HE JUST EATS, OK? I feel like he could be stuffed in a human-sized sock and still would look great in it... I don't get it either.. the tailors just love him.

have a song recommendation for Hans :3

Hans Capon (House of Leipa) The House of Leipa is a family line of famous military leaders at the nation of Kaedwen. (listen, there is a canon Fort Leida in the witcher universe, how could you blame me for jumping on that?) For generations they reigned over Fort Leipa and the surrounding region in Kaedwen. It was about 19 years ago when the Scoia'tael invaded the fortress and killed almost all members of the major family branch, including Hans' parents. Hans himself survived due to a servant's quick thinking. He was hidden in the servant's quarters in a bedroom's chest. The Scoia'tael focussed on looting the royal belongings. So he was not found until his relatives reconquered the fortress hours later. Hans has no memory of said day since he was still an infant, but suffers from claustrophobia now.

'The Slaughter of Leipa' contributed severly to the following pogrom in Ard Carraigh (Kaedwens capital), causing the deaths of over 400 nonhumans. Hans is not entirely against nonhuman races but has his personal, unprocessed issues with them....

Back in the present (20y/o) his situation is very similar to canon Hans, with Hanush currently being his guardian as long as he's not old enough to reign. He differs a lot from Hanush's imagination of a proper heir of their family tree and arguments are on a daily bases. For political representation Hans gets to travel and stay at the free city of Novigrad for a while. While he loves his home region in Kaedwen, he immediately falls in love with the urban vibes, and modern culture of the city (and of course the freedom of being away from Hanush's monitoring for once). For a few months he's spending a fair amount of coin on every tailor, tavern, brothel and bathhouse in the city.

By now the owners of said etablishements have made appropriate arrangements with every bandit's guilt around, for his regular visits are more profitable to all of them, than robbing him once.

There might have been one or two kidnappings with ransom involved nonetheless, which had Hanush consider hiring a bodyguard for his ward after all...If only just to mend his headache from time to time a bit.

This is were a certain offer from an old friend, plus a witcher's apprentice appears seemingly just at the right time...

------------------------

Henry's design and my idea of his witcher character made me painfully aware of just how similar those two universes actually are. I mean - not necessary a bad thing, but it might take the charm out of it a bit. So I tried to add a little twist to Henry here. Let's see how we're doing.

Have a song recommedation for Henry :3

Henry, child of the fate Henry is born a blacksmith's son and lived a slow life in a small village around Kaedwen's hillside. There would be times he would even go as far as to call it straight out boring, but he's not one to complain about stuff like that.

Since his father Martin taught him from young age, Henry practically grew up with swords, especially the kind made of finest silver ore, used to slay monsters. His father's outstanding works, famous in all the northern nations, attracted many witchers from far and wide. Of course the nearby 'School of the Wolf' at Kaer Morhen was a popular and recurring customer at their forge as well.

All peace and quiet ended the day his village was raided by bandits and his parents were murdered. Henry found himself seeking refuge, first at Kaer Morhen, then at Fort Leipa, with a handful of other citizens. At the witchers fortress he recognized one or two faces from back at the forge, but there was one particularly standing out.

Radzig Kobyla, a reknown witcher in all around the region seemed to have special interest in Henry and even offered some first combat training in sword-fighting. With time Henry finds the truth about is bonds with Radzig...

Before he was born Radzig saved Martin from a mountain troll. Half joking, half serious Martin remembered old witcher's tradition of the Law of Suprise - 'for what you find at home, yet did not expect' and offered it. Radzig actually refused the offer, for he was not necessarily fond of said tradition.

It was only a month later that they found out about the pregnancy... While awaiting a child Martin was devastated about his promise. He was not sure if it was to be fulfilled or not. After Henry was born Radzig still refused to ever take the child, arguing he never agreed to any contract like this. But fate finds his way nonetheless and with Henry basically finding him and being robbed his family, friends and home, Radzig finally gives in and offers to train him to become a witcher.

Of course things are way more complicated by now, since Henry is not suitable for a proper 'Trial of the grasses' anymore. He never gained the full immunity and powers of a proper witcher, but with Kaer Morhen's knowledge, plus consultation of several sorcerer Radzig's find a way for Henry to undergo a lighter and also much slower variation of the original changing procedure.

Although the risk of said changing progress is the same, if not higher. Errors or negative effects can only be seen and be treated much later after they have already settled in. The sorceress Katharina of Ard Carraigh was outraged when she heard about Radzig's little experiment, but offered her help with the effects nonetheless. With her help Henry was able to adapt existing witcher potions to handle his new powers and skills easier, and - much more important - to keep them at bay, when they threaten to take over his sanity.

While trying to tackle his new life and witcher training, Henry is also confronted with his first 'witcher' contract (well whatever Radzig found fitting for a half-baked witcher, without much fighting experience, nor complete control over his powers, that is.) Their host at Fort Leipa seemed to have a promising task as bodyguard at hand, and since Radzig had taken a lot of contracts from the house of Leipa in past times, it would not hurt giving it a try. Henry would only have to take care of the spoiled Leipa's offspring for a while. Nothing too much of a task right? Right.

At least until said offspring runs off and jumps into sheets with an Alp and seems to be in need of a witcher now after all, .....

But that's a story for another time...

---------

*visible exhaustion but I made it*

that's it for now guys.. I ..clearly overdid myself in the description right there, I just know it.

Also - sorry for my spelling , I hate rereading stuff, and tend to miss weird errors...

Hope you liked it, I don't really call myself a good writer, I just want to get out my ideas here. :)

[writtenbythemoonandstars]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Possible content warnings: Jealousy and insecurity, questions of self worth, and a minor injury.

1.1k words

---

Black. With two sugars. And a splash of milk. That’s how Robby likes his coffee. 

Practically the opposite of his girlfriend. Who likes more cream than coffee. 

One in each hand. Made the way they like it respectively. A smile on her face as she walks in to the ER while on her way to work, expecting to find her hot doctor boyfriend. 

Well. She does. Just not in the way she thought. 

Obviously she knows Robby’s dated people before. She likes Jake’s mom, Janey. She also knows about Heather. Dr. Collins. Also a doctor at the PTMC. 

Squeezing the coffee cups tightly, watching them. Maybe to someone else they’re just discussing a patient. Maybe she’s simply asking her senior attending a question. Or presenting him the case. 

But to her… she can’t help the jealousy monster that crawls up her throat. Hot. Tight. 

“What do you think?” A voice beside her. Looking over his badge reads nurse. Mateo. 

“Huh?” Trying to snap herself out of it. She has no reason to be jealous, right? They broke up a long time ago. And Robby was with her now. He loves her… 

So why does the feeling go away? 

“They dated a long time ago.” This nurse has no idea who she is. “We have a betting pool on when they’ll get back together.” 

“… you think they will?” Trying to not let the emotions show through her tone. 

Mateo shrugs, “the kind of relationship they had? I don’t think you ever move on from that.” 

The look in their eyes. She can see it. The way Robby smiles softly when she’s not looking. The mouthed, “good job” when she does the procedure correctly. 

His actual girlfriend had been standing here for the last ten minutes and he hadn’t looked away from her once to notice she was there. 

“Woah.” Mateo’s voice snaps her out again. This time because she’d squeezed the coffee cups so hard they spilled over her hands. 

It stings in a good way. “Come on. I’ll get you and ice pack.” The hot liquid turning her hands a bright pink color. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles, letting herself be guided to sit on the bed. 

“Don’t sweat it.” Mateo shrugs. 

She doesn’t hear much of anything else he says. The salve on her hands. The cool water. The dismissal of a doctor who must’ve wondered what was going on in here and if the nurse needed help. 

Thoughts spiraling.

Heather is loved here. She’s pretty… much prettier. Smarter too. She’s a fucking doctor. Why wouldn’t Robby want her? Clearly she’s much more on his level. 

“Thanks..” she gives Mateo a small smile when he informs her he’s finished. 

The nurses and doctors have a betting pool on when they two will get back together. “What am I doing?” Whispering to herself. 

Robby still hadn’t noticed she was even there. It was at least an hour. With the added medical attention. 

When he knocks on her door at 8 after his shift she doesn’t answer. 

Or the second time. 

She hasn’t answered his calls and left texts unread. 

“Honey…” His voice soft through the door. “Have I done something to upset you?” He asks. 

“N-no-“ her voice sounding more wet than she intended. 

“Please can I see your face?” Still through the door. 

It’s a long moment before eventually the door opens and his hands immediately touch her splotchy cheeks. “What’s wrong?” He asks, wiping another stray tear. 

“…” there’s no answer right away. “Brought you coffee this morning.” She settles on. 

“Oh yeah? Is that what I saw on the er floor about 10 in the morning?” He sounds amused. 

“Probably. Costed me 8 dollars and some burn cream.” His expression changes. Checking her over for injuries. 

Showing him his hands. “Do you know the nurses have bet on when you’ll get back together with Heather?” Ripping the bandaid off while he’s still inspecting her palm. 

“What?” He sounds confused. 

“There’s a bet. Some kid, Mateo, was asking me how long I thought until you’d get back with her.” She shrugs. Trying to sound nonchalant. 

But she is very much chalant.

“Honey… I don’t understand what’s going on.” Shaking his head. 

“She’s pretty.” Another shrug like there isn’t a knife being twisted in her heart. 

“So are you.” He replies. “You’re very pretty. I love how pretty you are.” 

“She’s smart too.” 

“You’re smart. Remember last weekend when I couldn’t figure out how to turn the tv on?” He leans in. His forehead touching hers. 

“It was unplugged.” Comes the sarcastic response. 

“And look how smart it was for you to even check. I didn’t even think of that.” Robby kisses her nose. “Where is this coming from?” 

It’s a long time before he hears a reply. 

“You have chemistry. I see it. Everyone in the hospital sees it. I’ve been dropping coffee off for months and none of them know who I am. Especially not in relation to you.” She explains. More tears stinging her eyes. “Heather is a gorgeous woman. Fucking smart.. And she’s kind.” A incredulous shake of her head. “I have this… this… it feels like heart burn.” Trying to explain. “I want to be her and kill her at the same time.” 

A deep breath. “I don’t like that feeling.” 

Robby pushes her hair back behind her ears. He chooses his words carefully. “Heather and I split because I couldn’t let my past go. I didn’t let her in. Didn’t make time to see her. We both had a lot of baggage that we didn’t want to unpack.” 

Hands hands around the back of her neck. Tilting her head up. “You… I don’t ever want to make you feel that way. That you think someone- anyone- could be prettier than you. Not to me.” 

Pressing a kiss to her lips. “You may not be medically smart but I don’t know shit about social media. How to make money off posting photos online.”

Another kiss. “We talk. You told me about your family. I feel like I can tell you about mine..” making sure she’s looking in his eyes. “You male me want to take time to see you. Even if it’s watching shitty movies with take out on the floor of your living room.” 

A smile. The tears on her cheeks reduced to temporary stains. 

“I’m sorry.” Guilt replacing the monster that ruined her afternoon. 

“Don’t be sorry honey.” Kissing her. His hands moving to her hips. His next words against her mouth, “I will make sure everyone knows about you tomorrow. Take down that fucking bet.” 

She laughs. The only sound Robby wants to hear for the rest of his life. 

---

Hey everyone! Went through some minor writers block and work got pretty crazy but here you go!

Unedited, like always. and I may go back and add more to this but I had this thought earlier today and just wanted to get it out asap so I'm not sure of its quality. idk

thanks!

[docholligay]

I AM RAISING MONEY AND HERE ARE WAYS TO GIVE IT TO ME

INITIAL DETAILS ON THIS EVENT

I'm trying to raise about $500 for each charity, which I know is a tall order! that's about $2,000 total.

I do not see a single cent of this. I don't want to! You will do this all completely through the website set up to accept donations from Yellowstone Valley Gives. I want to do something to make a difference, and more than I can do anything else, I can offer myself up to try and help out these places that really need it.

Please note that if you are American, this is tax deductible! Everything is a certified charity, and nothing I do is actually considered value ahahahah. If you are in another country, i don't know but I assume not.

So here's how it's going to kind of work, I think.

Tip of literally any amount: I will thank you on the stream or in a post, depending on what it is I'm doing. I am still kind of working with how fast I get notified of donations. This is my first year! So please be patient with me.

Live Auctions: (This could go for any price, bidding starts at 20 bucks) For things like FMA 2003 English Dub, Sailor moon, and anything else that seems like it might be fun for, I'll be doing a live auction to pick the episode. I have the whole run of SM in both the original and the Viz, and I have up to episode 15 of FMA 2003 in English (One of the few no no zones: I won't skip around on anything I'm currently liveblogging, because that's disrespectful to my patrons. So no going ahead in FMA.)

There's Too Much Money in Politics: $20, quadruples your vote in any live votes!

Change the channel, $50: For whatever I'm doing, for 50 bucks you can change the channel! (my choice)

Change the channel plus:, $100 For whatever I'm doing, you can't change the channel to whatever YOU want for the next hour or so (assuming I can get my hands on it relatively quickly)

Change the Channel Plus, locked: $250. For whatever I'm doing, you can change the channel to whatever YOU want for the next two hours (or so), and it is locked. No one can change it!

AHEAD OF TIME OPTIONS:

DocDoc Guide: For $150 bucks, you can get a two hour slot, whenever you want it in the 24 hour period (assuming it's not already taken by a paid slot) FOR $200 IT IS UNCHANGEABLE. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON YOU. I WILL PIN SOMETHING TO EVERY POST OR THE TOP OF THE CHAT. And girl, you call it. Want me to watch Digimon? Babygirl, you got it. Play a fast-twitch reflex video game? This scrub will not get gud but she will die over and over. Want me to Noted Scholar Doc that stupid fucking episode of FMA 2003? I've always thought Psiren was making a statement about the soft power of feminine authority. Want me to drink an entire bottle of champagne while pretending to be various blorbim? This one might kill me, but it would be fun the whole time I died.

Shadow Influencer: Basically, if you want something on in your regional slot (I do not guarantee time, and it cannot be locked) offer to slip me some bills under the table. This is basically a backroom bid. I reserve the right to refuse, versus The DocDoc Guide, on which the things I would say no to are so so so limited. These causes are so important to me. (This has to be done ahead of schedule publishing. So, by like 9am Tuesday, Mountain Time)

[zvahlne]

thoughts on dante ? (im sooo normal about him i swear)

I LOVE DANTE I LOVE DANTE I LOVE DANTE i'm so happy you asked about dante. i am also so incredibly normal about dante. i have been sincerely hoping someone would ask me about dante so i can talk about this!!!!!

thoughts on dante CAN be summarized by twilight sparkle's "B.B.B.F.F." from friendship is magic.... my big brother best friend forever <3333

...but more under the cut! i yapped but i can't bear to trim it. love dante too much. (surprise down there though for those brave souls who continue...)

i actually SUPER SUPER SUPER love dante because my darling aphmau oc was/is his little sister (and gene's of course!). not at first; it happened super impulsively on a hypixel rp because she had blue hair and other people were doing it (making their ocs canon characters' siblings). she had dark blue hair, dante had blue hair, gene had black... it was the obvious conclusion for a group of 10 year olds.

but it was so formative for me that i can't look at dante (or gene!) without thinking "my big brother!!" to this day. the wave of love and comfort that washes over me when i see dante is. man. i get so overjoyed when i see other people posting about him because he's so lovely and he's my big brother and he deserves all the posts in the world frfr I LOVE YOU DANTE WAUGH

fun fact: i almost named this blog "dantes-little-sister" in honor of that oc (and how much i adore dante)! zvahlne won because it was shorter, mostly. ...also i think it looks cool.

and now. okay i really hate to say this considering The Circumstances. the Situations. the Lore. but i wish i REMEMBERED more about dante 😭😭 it's been so long since i've watched stuff where he was a focus, a lot of the details are fuzzy now!!

i love love love dante though. mystreet dante especially, even though they definitely. i understand some things were lost in translation. just a couple. uh. LMAO. but i can't ever hate him; he's my big brother! i was a mystreet kid first, so that dante was the one i first latched onto. i CAN recognize the character assassination that happened but also you must understand. that is my big brother. can't hate him.

i'm so so so so so excited to get back to him in my rewatching, i miss him SO MUCH. even when i wasn't watching aphmau for a few years, i thought of him a lot!

i remember the first time i watched MCD, the timeskip was utterly devastating to me and he ended up being the biggest reason why (WHICH GENUINELY SHOCKED ME AT THE TIME). i really felt like i had missed out on my big brother's life. and i KNEW he was a minecraft character, but seeing him so much older than the last time i had seen him in an INSTANT? FUCKED ME UP!!! it was such a gut punch for me. i felt like i had lost so much time with him. he was so old....... MY BIG BROTHER...... :(((

i have a feeling i am going to get gut punched again lmao (I'M TEARING UP THINKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW??? brain, i'm telling you, he's blocks..... /lh)

man. i love dante. i think he's so great. he lives in my heart forever and always will. my bbbff!!!!!

(i'm so serious about the bbbff thing i've been calling him that for almost a decade now)

(a lot of these feelings can be echoed for gene, buuuuut with more. uh. baggage??? You Know How Gene Is. it's complicated. dante is all love and sunshine and joy and comfort though<3 mystreet gene is pretty chill, i even wrote a fic with him and the mentioned oc semi-recently lmao)

um. to make up for no real intellectual dante thoughts at this time, oops all weeping, please take this warmup i did of him a while ago (s1 mcd dante! he knocked you over 🩵)