#MY CRACK

[ursa9909]

Arcane S2 *crack*/headcanon/AU/Rambling/whatever

I want a moment where like everyone is fighting (Post get back together of VI and Cait) and the big bads are an out of control Warwick (plus Singed) and Mel's absolute MILF of a mother.

And then there's Jinx on the ground bleeding bad, Vi protecting her fagainst WW, Sevika protecting Vi, Mel protecting Sevika, and so on and so forth (Echo, Jayce, rest of party are keeping back Ambessa and her troops and try to help without losing the line to Piltover and Zaun to the Noxians).

But WW breaks through and you just have Vi and Jinx, and right as WW is about to destroy the two, Caitlyn just appears and starts fighting WW. No gun, just guts.

WW roars, Caitlyn snarls back and even WW is taken aback (along with a few others, Vi is hopelessly in love).

But anyway, WW and Cait are are in a game of cat and mouse as Cait tries not to get eaten.

Vi's gauntlets are broken again, so in desperation she picks up Cait's gun and hesitates.

Cait tells her to shoot and Vi does, and she misses. But like misses in a thousands miles in an impressive feat of failure when Jinx yanks the rifle away and starts blasting.

There's a temporary truce that Mel is the sole person giving everyone a very disappointed look/lecture. (But it's mostly a tentative truce).

Bonus points: Mel tells everyone to take out all their weapons and one by one you see people begrudgingly take them out of their pockets and all sorts of hiding places. Jinx is pulling out more and finally crosses her arms sure she's beaten everyone when Mel stops in front of Cait.

Cait and Mel have a stair down before the younger woman sighs, pulling out at least five handguns and two more rifles and a slew of yordle traps that no one knows where she got them from (Jinx has some begrudging respect after)

[veny-many]

I always wondered when I think about Jedi's mobility

Sorry Masters.

[venyvenyvenven]

Silly Green arrow fam and batfam doodle

[mega-aulover]

I am the biggest sucker for a murder mystery with a comedic undertone.

What do you even call that a Comdry?

[maipareshaan]

[mystery-star]

And we're going into the second round for Master and Commander Cracks!

Enjoy!

[jadedbirch]

My pal @hanguangsbuns on Twitter pointed out these three idiots make for a very good distracted boyfriend meme:

So of course I immediately thought of my latest WIP:

[faeriekit]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[balrogballs]

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would rightfully put me into a blender and press the button if i go and out myself as "balrogballs") and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

[veny-many]

Shitpost inspired by this Fallout 4 video.

What have i made

[docbe]

People starting apple cider vs pumpkin spice beef are weak, I will demolish any seasonal beverage you put in front of me without hesitation

[hinamie]

trick or treat!

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[bisexualvader]

what my notifs look like currently

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰