#MOST albums take me a few listens to get into but some just grip me immediately

[bevsi]

you ever listen to an album for the first time and you’re like “this is going to be an obsession now”

[strawburry01]

That's Not Me

Summary: Reader and Angus listen to your record collection and bond over music and parent problems (it's not very deep)

word count: 2k

Authors Note: this is actually the first stuff I've ever put on tumblr and I've currently been working on this as I'm insanely doped up on wisdom teeth painkillers so sorry if it reads weird. I'm trying to start writing more in general n shit so you have any weirdly niche or specific scenarios or desires pls just shout em out (i see you, you're valid). ALSO: Walk with me here, you're telling me Angus Tully wouldn't be a big fan of the Beach Boys? I know this sad ass mfer would eat Pet Sounds up. It's a short album, do yourself a favor n listen to it (or at least check out the songs I took the blrubs from for this) cause it's some GOOD STUFF. That's all.

You stood over the lone dresser in your room. Your prized possession of a small record player balanced precariously on top of it with your stack of records spread out across the rest of the top. You’d been collecting records even since your first year at St. Mary’s, despite the rules against it that the sisters there tried to enforce at every opportunity.

But they had left you here, alone, at Barton so it’s not like they could complain about it now. Nobody was even here besides you, that odd Professor Hunham, the sweet chef Mary, and that Angus Tully boy. It had been a few days since the rest of the boys had been picked up in a helicopter, leaving the four of you to the echoing halls of the empty school. 

You plucked the new Fleetwood Mac album out of your pile and slipped it onto the turntable before placing the needle gently down onto the black vinyl. Stevie Nick’s smooth vocals began to tinny out of the small record as you tapped your foot to the song as you continued to rifle through your stack of records. 

Your parents had left you to stay at St. Mary’s for break as they were stuck on some business venture in Germany. A pro of these trips, they funded your buying habits in exchange for your passive agreement when it came to these sorts of holidays. You missed the days when you were so young they had to just drag you along everywhere they went. You felt like a real family then. Now it just felt like you were a burden to them- another person for them to give their money to. 

“Where’d you get that?” a voice asked from the doorway, startling you out of your thoughts. You quickly swing to the doorway, still gripping the empty sleeve of Fleetwood Mac. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, it was just the lanky figure of Angus, eyeing you with his arms folded. 

“Ever heard of knocking, ya’ prick?” you said, rolling your eyes as you turned back to the music.

“Where’d you get the record player?” he asked again, taking a step into the room. You shrug, keeping your focus on the records and not Angus deciding to invite himself in.

“I stole it from the confiscation closet at St. Mary’s”.

“Really?” he said in shock, almost impressed.

“No, of course I bought it you weirdo” you laughed. He looked much less impressed. “I bought the record player with my own money from working at the pool over the summer, but my parents have given me money for most of these records” you explain, gesturing to the stack. Angus took a spot right next to you, his air of cigarettes and old book pages wafting by you. He stands silently as he begins looking at each record. For him previously having taken every chance for a smart-ass comment at your expense, his silence was a welcome change. For a few minutes the two of you just stood, side by side, flipping over albums and making hums of approval.

“You have Pet Sounds!” Angus said, perking up, as he picked up The Beach Boys album. You can’t help but look over at him. The corners of his mouth are actually pricked up for once, like he’s actually happy.

“You like the Beach Boys?” you asked. He glances over in your direction with his big brown eyes with an incredulous eyebrow raised, in disbelief you would question such things. You can’t help but feel your stomach flip. Honestly how dare someone so annoying be graced with such eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I? They’re really good” he said as he turned back to the album, “d’ya think you can play it?” he asked as he handed it over. You take the album and slide the vinyl out as you place it onto the tabletop. Angus takes a seat at the foot of your bed, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets.

“Make yourself at home” you sarcastically said as you started the record, before leaning against the dresser, facing the bed. He laughs.

“Such a generous host” he quips as Wouldn’t it Be Nice starts playing from the album. The song seems to zone him out as he stares into the wall behind you, gently nodding along to the music. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long

“What are you still doing up?” you ask, breaking him out of his trance. It was almost midnight, and Hunham would certainly kill you both if he caught wind of you two conspiring. 

“What are you still doing up?” Angus retorted, “it’s not very St. Mary’s of you to be up late listening to such devilish music” he mocked, waggling his fingers in the air for effect. You can’t help but laugh. He loved acting like your hijinks were an act against God ever since you’d been moved over for the break, all just because you went to St. Mary’s. 

“Oh please, the sisters have started praying for my ears because I listen to anything with a guitar,” you say as you swat at him. “They found my single Johnny Cash album and made me clean the dishes for a week to learn…something”. Angus snorted at that and shook his head as the next song faded in from the speakers.

“How have you not gotten kicked out yet?” he asked, “it seems like you just hate it there”. You half heartedly shrug and sit on the corner of the bed he isn’t occupying, your legs graze each other before he quickly moves it closer to his side. You’d be lying if you said your breath didn’t catch in your throat a little. It was a weird experience- being stuck in such close quarters with someone for about a week now. You had both started throwing crumpled up notes to each other during the mandatory class/detention time Hunham prescribed to you both. Most of the notes were just complaining about the situation, how cold it was, how bad Hunham smelled, how hungry you were, how much you wished you were both anywhere else. You drew Angus back a beautiful stick-figure masterpiece of the two of you laying on a beach, although he got pretty mad at how dramatically messy you’d made his hair.

 He would never admit it, but he kept it and used it as a bookmark. 

“I do hate it, but my parents have moved heaven ‘n hell to keep me there, so I’ve kind of just given up on getting out” you said as you looked down at your feet, swinging back and forth above the floor. He silently nodded, sitting with it for a moment before adding.

“My parents are just waiting for me to mess up so they can send me away” he said quietly, suddenly having a vulnerable air about him. He’d never brought this up before to you. Sure he was a bit of a prick, but he didn’t deserve to get sent off to another school just for being annoying sometimes. He balled his fist in an anxious tic on his knee, and before you can stop yourself, your hand is on top of his fist to try and calm him, or be there for him, or just show him he’s not alone, or maybe you did just secretly want to hold his hand, somewhere deep down.

“It’ll be okay” you respond back, softly. You both freeze at your hand resting on top of his. Everything goes silent except Brian Wilson’s voice coming from the record.

Being here with you feels so right, We could live forever tonight, Let's not think about tomorrow

He slowly unfurls his fist and gently begins to entwine his fingers with yours, his hands are warm, and vaguely shaky, like he’s ready for you to pull away at a moment's notice and act like this was all him imagining it. You wait a second before you gently lean your head onto his shoulder, the scent of cigarettes strong from his jacket, and you can hear him inhale sharply before realizing you’re not leaving. 

“You don’t have to pity me y’know. I’m an asshole to everyone, I get what I deserve”

“Shut up Angus”

“Okay” he said with a small laugh as he absentmindedly moved his thumb back and forth on your hand for a while before breaking the silence, “d’ya want to, uhm,-” he says before tripping on his words and going silent again. You can’t help but laugh at him getting stuck on his words, truly a first for him. You nudge your head so you’re looking up at him from his shoulder. He stares intently ahead, as if avoiding your eyes. 

“Want to what? Kiss? Do I really have you this nervous?” you tease him which draws a quick reaction from him. He glares down at you before his face softens and he looks away again. 

“So what if you did” he scoffs and suddenly stands, letting your hand go as he heads to the door. 

“Angus wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that-” you say, starting to apologize and follow after him as you stand up. The record skips with an unfortunate scratch before continuing to play. You grab the cuff of his jacket before he can leave.

They say I got brains but they ain't doing me no good, I wish they could

“Angus wait-” you say as you try to pull him back. He turns and suddenly your face is in his hands and his lips are on yours. Before you can react he pulls back and lets you go, leaving him standing in front of you, waiting for your move. 

“I’m going now” he says before turning again to leave the room, acting as if he didn’t just kiss you. You slide by him and slam the door in front of him before he can actually leave. Your back props the door shut as you face him, holding out an accusatory finger.

“No- you’re not just going to kiss me and leave and act like you didn’t just do that” you say, feigning some sense of authority as you look up at him, your finger in his face. His lips twinge upwards again before he goes serious again.

“Should I not have?” he asks, “you were the one who put the idea in my head” he said with a smirk. You jab your accusatory finger closer to his face as you try not to knee him in the crotch right then and there. 

You open your mouth to reply, but before any noise can come out there’s a knock on the door.

“Miss? Everything alright in there?” Hunham asks from the other side of the door. While you stare at Angus in petrified horror for the next few minutes, he can’t help but look rather satisfied with himself. 

“Oh everything’s just fine professor, thanks for your concern!” you answer back, faking a cheerful tone as your eyes never leave Angus’s face, who is failing to conceal his laughing behind his hand, watching you struggle to maintain your cool.

“Mr. Tully doesn’t happen to be in there with you, is he? I noticed his room was empty,” Hunham adds through the door. You stare at Angus’s dumb smirk on his face, scrunched to the side of his face, with his stupid brown eyes looking down at you with a mix of attraction, humor, and misfortune. You grab his jacket collar and pull his face to your level, before swiftly kissing him with the fervor only someone knowing how much trouble they’ll be in for doing so could have. You quickly let go of his jacket and swiftly nudge him back before looking his speechless figure up and down and swinging open the door. 

You fake a large toothy smile for Hunham as you hold your hands in front of you, mustering up any energy you had left for the performance of a lifetime.

“Just showing him my record collection sir. I didn’t realize the Barton boys had such a passion for the music arts” you say, looking over at Angus from over your shoulder to see if he was going to be any help in this. He of course wasn’t and just stayed quiet as he brushed past you to the hallway with Hunham.

“A lovely collection” he murmured in the hallway as he finally made eye contact with you from behind Hunham who shakes his head and sighs.

“I wish you two wouldn’t be slamming doors at midnight, but the music arts is an exciting and important endeavor. Off to bed though, say your goodnights,” he said, as he elbowed Angus, certainly not letting the two of them alone again.

“Night” Angus tells you with his smirk, putting his hands back into his pockets. 

“Goodnight Angus, perhaps we can continue our conversation later tomorrow” you say, leaning against the doorframe with your own smirk looking back at him. Hunham tuts Angus back down the hall but not before he quickly winks at you, and you can only laugh at it all.

[dgdraws]

Artfight Postmortem

as you may know, i am prone to reflection on my art and process and progress. herein, i'm gonna navel gaze a bit about artfight 2024.

top line: really enjoyed myself, did a bunch of new things and this was "The Year of Artist Friends" which is spectacular.

i completed 20 attacks this year, including my first ever mass attacks! altogether I drew 28 different characters (incl 4 of my own).

for the first time, I had *users* i wanted to attack, rather than just characters i'd gathered via search or discord. honestly, three years ago when i picked up the stylus i was just excited at the prospect of drawing for other people, period. artfight was a cool way to be in community without prerequisites. i didn't quite dare to dream i might make some real connections and make proper friends. and yet :) here we are! i went in with three 'art friends' and i'm leaving with at least three more

in addition to being the year of artist friends, this could be "the year of clip studio paint was on megasale a week before artfight" because i knocked out like 2 practice pieces before July 1st so i wouldn't be starting with completely unfamiliar tools, but i used/learned csp for the vast majority of my attacks. one i finished in krita (lonnie), and my final attack i only used krita.

definitely trial-by-fired myself! but it motivated me to explore csp, and most important, gave me a reason to practice practice practice. last year i drew almost exclusively humans, lots of full bodys, because i wanted to get a better grip on anatomy and drawing a variety of faces. it worked then, and, well, i think i learned more of csp in one month of artfight than i would have if i was just plodding through my personal projects for 33 days :) *looks at my wip folder with months old files* pretty sure.

ok i'm gonna look at a few faves/standouts now:

came in hot with 0tt0 here! the main brush for this one (froggy pencil) was a mainstay for the whole month. so versatile!!! and lovely texture. this isn't quiiite brat green but this was what made me go, hmm, what if i... did a few pieces inspired by this album i can't stop listening to?

and then i took a huge turn and just used a soft round brush for Desa and Iryna for my dear friend @bobomcfoe bc i really wanted to turn these out in something approaching my "usual style" of late and i feared getting too deep into the temptations of csp if i put them off. and, um, yeah i love them. i got sooo close to matching that angle but ahh i can see the tilt now! nonetheless, love these two, not least bc brookie has some of the most pleasing color palettes to work w :)

then on to Rosé and baby's first vector lines! you can RESIZE lines in csp. did you know that? i didn't know that. i did forget to use it as much as i could have in later ones though, so i still only kinda know it ig. and halftone shading! bc why not? another thing i really only did this once, but want to experiment with more

Rook here, for my new friend @gender-premium-tm, was me realizing how to use filters/filter layers in csp. now THAT is something i used a lot this month! also something i use often in krita. i must say, though the csp options are slightly more limited (afaik), they have oomph!

okay these two are my "explicitly brat pieces"! artfight keeps you moving, which i find really valuable, bc i could have dithered foreverrr over Lonnie's gif here. like, do i add his arm? maybe he should be wearing a shirt? or, what if i just draw him twice, instead of splitting the expressi--see it just never ends. and as i am always going on about, art is so precious bc it is a reflection of us when we make it. maybe for some future artfight i'll redraw this (as Lonnie's artist @wenmistry did for me with Ebon this year), but for july 2024, i'm amazed at how well i executed this for just 2.5 days of work! (i did forget his glasses, which realization gave me a different take on the composition, so this is high on my list of potential redraws)

and then Aagatha. this is in my top 3 for this year. the pink just works so well with the green and her artist added the song to her character playlist AND added the necklace to her actual dnd inventory. like. omg. the impact your art can have!!! how freaking cool is that???

two mass attacks! i was in a silly goofy mood. i feel like i really got a handle on vectors w the anthro mass attack, i adjusted every single point on that one by hand. weird what hyperfocus makes you do sometimes, but i learned a lot from that. mainly that i will probably never user vectors as my main linework tool. there are circumstances it is perfect for, and outside of that i'm good w my raster lines lol

which is exactly what i used for this other mass attack, featuring mostly my ocs. hey, sometimes you need to shake things up! i can see here the style starting to hew back to my "usual style", though i'm thinking that might have a lot to do with drawing 5 people very quickly. falling back on practiced techniques. and by this time i apparently knew csp well enough to reproduce them pretty closely! ooh, one thing this made me miss was the transform tool in krita. that floor was ROUGH to wrestle into place in csp.

purple and green turned up a lot this year!

Echo is my crowning achievement with the froggy pencil, most of the shading here is just layers w that. and one last nod to brat green :)

i've worked in the paper cut style before (both my pfp's use it) but i really exploited csp's clipping layers to make Scraps here. they did make me briefly forget how they work in krita when i switched back, so well done w that

i played with gradient maps a little earlier in the month but for Okanar i actually made my own gradient! really a useful tool for ref'ing real human skin tones to make non-human ones, without muddying them up too much.

finally, Chaos. this actually might be my favorite! ironically this is the one that i made in krita. it was like, ahh, yes my old friend. wait where is the scroll bar. ah, okay, yes my old friend... the line layer is set to burn which just makes the whole thing so warm (and the cause of the red outlines on the earrings). used my old sable brush, a pattern fill set to overlay... my old stomping grounds! but plus a rendering technique i picked up this month and some other random habits i picked up in csp (like copying a detail to a new layer, moving it where i want a copy, and drawing/tracing it back onto the original layer in the new position. nothing i couldn't have been doing in krita all along, but made easier by the tool layout in csp, and therefore now discovered by me. amazing how one integrates new knowledge. it's like magic sometimes!!!)

that was a good roundup! if you actually read this to the end, wow! and thank you! i hope it was interesting... and inspiring! bc i want to read about your process and reflections too! yes you! and plz tag me, i'm always down to gush about art XD

[the-man-in-the-suit-official]

Scott Street.

Summary: You’ve risen to new found stardom, but an old flame from the past insists on winning you back. A continuation of You’ve Become My Ceiling.

A/N: Genuinely sorry for the infrequent posting! I’ll get around soon. Formatting was also getting on my nerves.

Taglist: @reveriehs @belovedcherry

Reader Pronouns: Any

Length: Long? 5,667 Words.

Celebrities: Harry E. Styles

TW: Angst, Cheating

Song(s) To Listen To:

Your hands gripped the slick phone, eyebrows furrowed and heart feeling frozen and still. The phone was attempting to tell you that you’d missed a call, but your eyes were out of focus as you gathered your thoughts.

It was Harry.

Part of you wished it to be a dream, but the other part was curious, yet cautious. Your life had been a little bland the past few years, though you’d never admit it, you missed the adventures and midnight memories.You missed your best friend. That’s who you were still grieving, not the cheating liar who broke your heart over six times.

It had been a week and you’d failed to notice the call, only now discovering it while cleaning out your phone. There was a voicemail, but your hands were far too shaky to play it. You gave yourself a moment to calm down and played it slowly.

A small chuckle came from the recording, “Heh. Um, hey, (Y/N). I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but…You know I’m proud of you. And also…I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

His voice broke a little, “I know how much pain I caused now. I was stupid and young and it’s not an excuse, but I’m just really sorry. I wish I could do it all back again. I still can’t find the answer to why I did the things I did to you, either. You were the one thing that had loved me since before I was famous. I was an idiot to have let that go.”

There was sniffing on the other end, “You’re such a good person. And I…I really hollowed you out. I never even gave you a true apology. I miss my best friend. I became someone I didn’t know or want - someone I’d be repulsed by now. Someone I’d never want around you. I’m sorry.”

Harry cleared his throat, “But I’m proud of you, is all. You left and did greater things for yourself.”

It was silent for a moment again, “I never knew you could sing so beautifully. I’d like to hear it in person, if I could. You took a big part of me when you left, (Y/N). I still…I still feel the same way. Always have. But, um…Get back to me when you can- I mean, if you want. Alright. Bye.”

Taking a deep breath, you waited until the longing finally brushed itself off of you and was replaced by neutrality. The old memories resurfaced. Finding Harry in bed with another. On a date with someone you’d seen with him before.

You put your phone down and walked away, trying to collect yourself.

-

As for Harry, four and a half years changed him just as they did then. When you left, the guilt destroyed a piece of his heart, and he made his best attempt to be what he couldn’t be for you. He hadn’t dated since then, hadn’t felt he was worthy enough, really. He’d dedicated the entirety of Harry Styles - his debut album - to you, though he was sure you had no idea. Even now, his journal was filled to the brim with songs about you, most prevalent, some variation of a song he’s called, “Falling.” It was a heavy song, but the lyrics stuck with him.

They told the story of his departure from you, cheating and all, though the public wasn’t aware that it even happened.

His apartment smelt of lavender and poppies, even as he made his breakfast and did their daily duties. His album had released about a year ago, maybe a little less, and he hit stardom like he had never expected it. Taking a break from touring for even a week was well worth it. He loved his fans, sure, but it was draining to be a musician. Nonetheless, he was grateful.

Harry didn’t even expect you to make a call back. He just wanted to say sorry, truly, from the bottom of his heart, because he was different then. Fame changes you. And he should have never let that happen to him.

He knew he didn’t deserve your forgiveness.

So it was a surprise to him when a message appeared on his phone two months after the initial voicemail.

Y/N: Hey, Haz.

-

Jack was a tall man who was more legs than anything. He was stern, always looked at you with a taut expression, and would put you in your place, but oh, how he was completely soft for you. You’d met through his grandparents, who he took care of in his nice, spacious house. He and his grandparents were your neighbors, but you’d met his grandparents at a park years prior, engaging in small chat very often.

They’d loved Harry, though you were both sure they had positively no idea who he was aside from your boyfriend. Lily, the woman, would never hesitate to pinch his cheeks and comment on how amazing the two of you looked. You’d both expressed hope in wanting to be like them, growing old together, but here you were without your other half.

After your breakup, you’d rented a cozy apartment right next to Jack and his family’s house (though it was unbeknownst to you), and found that the park was relatively close to it. But as you walked on the trail, you came to find that everything seemed to have lost its shine. No longer did the water glisten so bright, or did the roses avoid withering like they simply couldn’t die, but everything was so undeniably…normal. Harry had shaken your life, only to disappear later, leaving you back in something that should have been comfortable, but was instead foreign. Normalcy was foreign.

“Oh, my dear!” The familiar voice, loaded with a beautiful French accent, slipped its way into your ears, and you tore your eyes away from the pond, behind you and finding the couple, holding something up to you, “You’ve dropped this.”

Lily brought the small item to you, showing you that in her gloved hands lay a necklace, a mother of pearl inside the locket. Harry had gifted it to you for your one year anniversary.

You furrowed your brows at the memory before she noticed it.

“Where is the handsome boy?” She tried to get her point across, even with the language barrier, “The one with the curly head? Tall? Le Britannique ?”

You felt the winter air nip at you more than it already had in your light jacket, “No, no, he is not here.”

She tilted her head in confusion, her husband watching over her, knowing even less English than she did. Harry had always been the translator for you, so speaking without him made it frustratingly harder.

“He has been gone for quite some time.”

You looked down, and in this, they seemed to both understand you. Paulie, her husband, took his coat off, placing it over your shoulders. The weight seemed comforting now.

“Aw, mon chou, come have a cup of tea with us,” Lily held your shoulders, slipping the necklace into your hands.

Despite your protest, you found yourself in their lovely home, surprised to see that they were a direct neighbor, “Jack, nous avons amené un chien errant !”

Lily smiled back at you before turning back and looking down at someone in the next room. You entered it, never really breaking away from her vibrant blue eyes, before you saw what she was looking at. Or rather, who. He was young, maybe just a bit older than you, and had eyes more alluring than hers. He had a slim figure and face, with a longer nose that matched, and tousled, short brown hair. His slender fingers were placed on the piano keys as he sat. He was breathtakingly handsome, really, and despite you not finding any sort of attraction in him, seeing as you just met, there was no doubt about his conventional attractiveness.

“Bonjour ?” He’d asked, his right eye squinting as if he were trying to scan every detail about you.

His expression softened into a smile shortly after, his eyes half-lidded when he got no response, “Hi. I see you’ve met my grandparents. Eager, aren’t they?”

You smiled back, chuckling, “You could say that.”

And it all started there. You’d started to take piano and French lessons from Jack, who after hearing about your still unnamed ex, wanted to help the best he could. You’d taken up piano for your career, and French, well, simply to prove to yourself that you really didn’t need Harry. Not for French, and not for life.

You and Jack had been good friends for a year now, knowing each other for about three before you’d really connected, so it felt right to turn to him and spill your gossip all over his fancy blue canopy bed during a hangout.

“Wait…” He started, surprised and clutching his elbows, arms crossed, “Your ex is Harry Styles?!”

You stuffed your face into a pillow, “That’s what you take away, Jack?! Everyone knows that!”

“Well, I didn’t! You know I can’t handle all the social media stuff, I avoid it like the plague!” Defensively and rather playfully, he rested a hand on his chest. He was wearing a brown and green sweater vest with brown dress pants and a white shirt, a nice green bowtie to tie his look together for his last day shadowing a French professor.

“The point is,” You giggled at the older man who seemed more like a best friend to you now, “I’m really not sure what to do here. He sounds so sincere, and maybe I fell out of love with the person he became a long time ago, but if he’s the same person I grew up with…Well…”

“No way. You can’t go back,” He paced, a hand on his chin, a habit of his you’d always loved.

You whined, “But can’t I? If I just want to rekindle the friendship we had before-“

“What are you going to do when you find him in bed with someone else again?”

Your heart stopped. He was right, of course.

“I’ll be respectful,” You responded sternly, “He isn’t mine.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Well, I can’t change your mind. I know you. Just be careful. It could be good for you, who knows? I just…don’t want you to get hurt again, (Y/N).”

Smiling with excitement, you thanked him countless times for listening to you and your rambles. You left shortly thereafter, and his smile fell as soon as the door shut behind you.

It was then you texted Harry, just a simple text, though it took you hours to finally hit the send button. He responded not a minute later, and you jumped at the sound.

HAZ: (Y/N), hi.

The name you never bothered to change in your contacts.

The two of you texted on and off casually, before deciding that maybe it would be better to catch up in a coffee shop. You were nervous, admittedly, but nonetheless stunned when you were escorted to your private booth at the Beachwood Café.

All you wore was a jumper and jeans, nothing too fancy, but you couldn’t help trying to style your hair in a way he would like.

He had been the first to arrive, you’d seen him in the window, twiddling his thumbs anxiously. God, did he look good as ever. His hair had grown out a bit more than the last time you saw him, and he’d dressed in clothes more personal to him, a shirt with small puppies printed on it under a knitted cardigan, baggy jeans and rings. He was definitely richer than the last you saw him, but the thing was, he was still your Haz, that much was noticeable.

The waiter led you to your table and you gently sat your bag down on the floor, sitting across from him. He’d been waiting for you, not even ordering yet.

“You look amazing,” He spoke, seemingly subconsciously.

“You’re not so bad yourself, H.”

And it was true. He looked cleaner, happier. Like he was taking care of himself. Everything was going well, and to be honest, it made you beyond happy. It was as if you were friends again, and nothing bad ever happened. Eventually, the topic reached Gemma somehow.

“So, I heard Gemma finally graduated,” You continued, “That’s wonderful! I always knew she could do it. She’s rather smart.”

“She’s great! She’s married now, you know. He’s wonderful, just feels a bit…weird. That she has someone now and I don’t.”

“Recent breakup?” You’d asked, a genuine question.

“No,” He chuckled, “Not at all. I worked on myself. Haven’t dated since you.”

A small gust of wind came through the window beside you, and you blamed the shivers on that. There was a gentle pause, but you shook your head and continued, “Oh, I see.”

There was obviously still a spark there, you’d noticed. Your heart still beat wildly to the tune of his.

“But, erm,” You continued, and he cleared his throat, “That makes me feel old.”

He scoffed playfully, his arms crossed, “What does that make me, then?”

You giggled. The two of you weren’t so far off, really. Just a couple of months, but he always managed to mention it.

“An old man,” You joked, and even the humor was still there.

His chuckle sent butterflies throughout your stomach.

“So, how’s the band?” You tilted your head.

You hadn’t really noticed that breaking things off with him would essentially alienate them, too.

“Well, Mitch and Sarah are getting married,” You did a bit of a double take.

“Wow, I mean, I knew it was going to happen, I just had no idea.

“A lot changes in our lives,” He spoke smoothly as the waiter came.

“Hey guys, my name is Carson, I’ll be your server this morning! What can I get for you?” He was younger, bright-eyed.

“I’ll just have an Americano and the strawberry crepes,” Harry didn’t even have to look at his menu, and yet you were scrambling to know what you wanted before he got to you.

“Alright,” The waiter wrote it down before turning back to you, “And for the spouse?”

Your face flushed red, “Oh, no, I’m not!”

Harry only chuckled and watched in amusement as the waiter became embarrassed, too.

“Jeez, I’m so sorry, then what can I get for you?” He rubbed the back of his neck and you giggled once more.

“Hazelnut hot latte and almond croissant, please, Carson.”

He nodded and left soon after.

“I listened to your songs, by the way,” Harry began slowly, “How’s that?”

“Well, one thing they don’t prepare you for as a strictly-solo show is how heavy the equipment is, like the drums? Jeez, don’t get me started.”

He laughed, shaking his head, “You’ve always took on way more than you could carry.”

“Yeah, well, suppose that’s me,” A smile found its way to your face, “But being alone is good. I needed that.”

He nodded again, “Yeah, I think I did, too.”

There was the beginning of a pause, but you still refused to let it linger, “I live on Scott Street now.”

“Oh, by the rose park?” He perked up, “I love that place.”

“I know,” You said bashfully, “Harry, our first date was there.”

“Wasn’t sure you’d remember,” He smiled back.

“But how could I forget?”

It had been magical, with swans skimming the water, almost as in love as you and Harry were. Had been. Are.

“Oh, but remember that old French couple we ran into? I know it’s quite random, but I ran into them again while I was having a bad day. They noticed we weren’t together anymore, and next thing I knew, I was at their house drinking a cup of tea. They’re quite nice. Their grandson, he lives with them, showed me a bit of piano.”

He remembered it well, you had said that you wanted the two of you to last even longer than they, and you had even hoped they’d be your spitting metaphorical image in decades.

“Anyway, I’m learning French now, I guess. And I found out we’re neighbors, isn’t that weird?” Carson set everything down on your table as you talked.

“Anything else for now?”

“No, thank you,” Harry didn’t even look up at him, listening intently. He didn’t even notice when Carson had left.

“So, now I take piano lessons on Fridays, and French lessons on Tuesday and Thursday. But his grandparents have been acting a bit odd - think they want me to stick around for more than just lessons,” You chuckled and sipped your latte.

You could’ve sworn Harry’s eye twitched, but you dismissed it, “That’s…great. I’m glad. You always wanted to learn French.”

“Right? You should come with sometime, you’d like him,” You hadn’t even noticed you were now arranging a second hangout. But he did. He always noticed.

“I’d love to,” It was oddly fast.

“Well, he’s invited me to a dinner party for his work - he’s a French professor. But he’s only been out of college a couple of months. Got his PhD. He’s nice, I think you’d like him!”

You looked down, fiddling with your thumbs, “But if you’re busy that’s totally fine! I just don’t wanna stick out like a sore thumb, is all. And it was always more fun when we stuck out together.”

He blushed, and in that moment, he would have done anything in the world you’d ask of him.

“Consider my plans all clear that day, alright?” He held your hands, “It's about time we did something as friends again.”

You nodded with a smile, “Okay, you’re right.”

You two split ways shortly after, Harry having insisted on paying the bill. He was happy to be talking to you, sure, but there was still a sinking feeling he felt when you were mentioned.

Shame.

You had piano lessons that night, and you wore the same outfit, feeling exhausted just from the interaction. Jack had greeted you happily.

“Mon cherie! (Y/N), come in!” He stepped aside, “Nana and Papa are out, so it’s just us today.”

“Would you like something to drink?” Jack reached for the cupboard, “Nana just got this new wine, and I think it’s quite lovely.”

“Sure!” You agreed, sitting at their small dining table, “Oh, Jack, I hope you don’t mind! I invited a friend of mine to come to the meeting with me. Both of us have always been interested in French, so I figured it would be perfect!”

Jack, in all truthfulness, assumed it would be a woman, and thus, agreed.

“Not a problem, cherie,” He handed you a glass, full with dark red liquid, and he drank from his cup slowly.

You watched him aimlessly, his Adam’s Apple defined, bobbing up and down. Like he hadn’t had anything to drink all day. Jack was like that, he’d forget to eat, sleep, drink. He was always so busy with work. You admired him for it.

“You know, you should remember to drink more often. Have you eaten at all today?” Tilting your head, he shook his and set his cup down.

“How could you tell?”

You chuckled and stood up, holding one of his cheeks in your hands, examining his lips, “You drink way too desperately.”

He was a little stunned, to say the least, and gripped the counter, his stomach in knots.

“But,” You wiped his upper lip with your thumb, ridding the excess wine off before moving to the stove, “I’ll make you something. I owe you after all these free lessons, anyways.”

He slumped, disappointed, but continued onward, “I could never ask that of you, but…that sounds very nice.”

“Then consider it done, Cherie.” You mimicked him, getting to work.

Afterward, your lessons continued as normal, and you were actually getting pretty far along.

-

“So, (Y/N),” Jack finally looked up from his paperwork, having left you with some French worksheets, “Nana and Papa wanted me to invite you to The French Riviera with us. Figured it would be a good learning experience. I agree, what do you think?”

You thought hard before answering the question on the worksheet and looking back up at him, shrugging, “Sure! That sounds lovely. When?”

“Well, they plan to order the tickets this weekend. We were just waiting on your oh-so-busy schedule,” He smiled, his dimples showing rather lovely.

“Oh, I can do it anytime! The glory of being a musician with no tour dates. Your meeting is in a month, yes?” You finished your worksheet and turned to him.

He nodded, causing a single strand of hair to fall in his eyes, “Oui, mais la réunion sera courte .”

You exhaled a chuckle at his quiz, “Okay, then how about next weekend?”

“You’re getting good, Chérie,” It gave you a proud smile.

“Then it’s settled. Send me the details,” You checked your clock, “Jeez, it’s already 8PM. I was supposed to write another song for the debut album.”

“Well, feel free to use me as a muse,” He smiled again, and it was a joke, but something struck you quite suddenly.

He had been there for you for years, and the thought of thanking him never even crossed your damned mind, distracted by your old lover. As you entered your house, you walked straight to your desk, completely in a trance as you thought about him. He was amazing, someone everyone should have in their lives, so how come you’d never noticed?

Daydreamer.

With eyes that make you melt,

He lends his coat for shelter,

Plus he’s there for you when he shouldn’t be,

Waits for you, then sees you through.

You smiled softly, hearing a guitar strum in your head, and suddenly your heart felt warmer than it originally had. The night really hits you, and next thing you know, you’ve got a demo at 2.56 AM.

You smiled wide now, your heart running rampant over a daydreamy thought you had of your neighbor. It’s not like you actually feel this way about him, but imagining yourself in something so plausible seems lighthearted and warm. Reaching for your phone, you bite your lip, wanting another opinion on the song, but not knowing if your relationship with Harry has evolved enough yet. It’s soon, but he still feels like your closest friend. You decide to go through with it anyway and text him.

ME: Haz! Want to hear something new I’ve just come up with over the course of seven straight hours?

It was actually very, very surprising when he responded a few minutes later.

HAZ: Yeah! FaceTime?

You smiled wide, feeling your heart skip a beat before agreeing. His phone call came in shortly after, and you were met with a very groggy Harry, his hair messy and in his face.

“Harry,” You looked at him suspiciously, “Why are you even up this late?”

He grew rather embarrassed, you could tell by the way he hid his face from the camera subtly, “Never bothered to change the ringtone you set.”

You could have died of embarrassment right then and there. The old ringtone you chose for your beloved boyfriend at the time, mind you, a very, very famous celebrity, was, in fact, a loud rooster. How much more embarrassing could you get? Laughing instead, you smiled wide. Things were going back to your normal, after all.

“Anyways, you let me know if this is good, okay? And be brutally honest.” Harry raised a brow in suspicion but quickly settled down as you began to play the guitar, strumming it gently.

“Daydreamer,” You began, and he felt his body go cold, in shock and in amazement. Hearing it semi-live, and completely personal was extremely different than the borderline music stalking of your singles he’d done recently.

“Sittin’ on the sea, soaking up the sun,” You changed the hit a higher note at, “He is a real lover, of making up the past and feelin’ up his girl like he’s never felt her figure before.”

You strummed gently for a few seconds, tying the calmness of the song together, “A jaw dropper, looks good when he walks, is the subject of their talk. He would be hard to chase, but to catch and he could change the world with his hands behind his back, oh.”

You strummed on some more, too nervous to look Harry in the eyes, despite him on the screen, and with a higher voice, began to sing more, “You can find him sittin’ on your doorstep, waiting for a surprise. And he will feel like he’s been there for hours, and you can tell that he’ll be there for life.”

This verse had been completely different, with you dragging on words and indulging in the beautiful memory, “Daydreamer, with eyes that make you melt, he lends his cost for shelter, Plus he’s there for you when he shouldn’t be, waits for you, then sees you through.”

Harry felt completely inferior in your presence, your voice sounding like he’d never heard it before. Instead of low and emotional, it was high and nostalgic, and for a moment, the thought that the song was about him struck him. Higher, you continued, “There’s no way I could describe him. What I’ve said is just what I’m hoping for, but I will find him, sittin’ on my doorstep waiting for a surprise. And he will feel like he’s been there for hours, and I can tell that he’ll be there for life.”

You slowed the guitar down, “And I can tell that he’ll be there for life.”

There was a moment of silence as you set the guitar off the bed, your face completely red after realizing the complete feeling of the song.

“(Y/N)…” Harry began, obviously now waking up completely, “That was amazing.”

“You mean it? It’s not too cheesy?”

He shook his head fast, “No. I don’t even know who it’s about, but you’ve got me falling in love with him, too.”

You smiled softly, happy to hear that he enjoyed it, “You sure? I don’t want it to sound creepy if I tell someone it’s for him. I just wanted to write something about someone who’s helped me so much.”

Continuing on, you fiddled with your sleeve, “Jack’s just so great.”

His heart dropped, and he furrowed his brows in jealousy, his stomach in knots as the idea of a love song for someone else hit him.

“He’ll love it,” He responded, not really thinking much as he did so, spaced out.

“Oh, just so you know, I’m going to France soon! Jack’s grandparents invited me, and I think it would be good to learn.”

Harry nodded, biting his lip as he snapped back into it, “You’re right. Be safe, okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me! I’ll be completely safe. It’s you I’m worried about, Haz. You’re quite the klutz.”

He chuckled, and from there, the conversation continued. It was like nothing had changed from your old years, and the night was talked away by two silly teenagers in love. When you woke up, a smile found itself on your face as you quickly noticed Harry’s sleeping face displayed on the camera. You’d fallen asleep before him, but he’d stayed.

His eyes were closed, revealing his long eyelashes. Were they always that curled? His lips parted for a moment and he heaved a great sigh, mumbling something before brushing hair out of his face. He was ethereal.

-

The trip came sooner than you’d noticed, and you didn’t want Daydreamer to be the last single released. It was so out of place from the rest of the album, but if you didn’t use it, then you wouldn’t have another single. There was one song you’d half-written, but it felt too personal, and besides, you’d already released a song about Harry. It felt like overkill. But it also just felt right, as a final goodbye to the situation.

Jack looked down at you as you sat with your guitar, “So, you want me to preview the song, yeah? Then we can go to France?”

He was teasing you, wanting to seem agitated, but you’d never heard him so much as raise his voice or seen him even furrow his eyebrows with a mean stare.

“Yes,” You chuckled, “I just don’t know if this song is too much. I had breakfast with Harry the other day and it came to my mind a week or so later.”

“Go on, then,” He sat down across from you, “I’m sure I’ll love it either way.”

But in his heart, he hated the fact that he was listening to a song you wrote about another man.

“Okay,” You took a deep breath, strumming.

“Walkin’ Scott Street feelin’ like a stranger, with an open heart, open container. I got a stack of mail and a tall can. It’s a shower beer, it’s a payment plan,” You recalled the first few weeks of moving out and how harsh it was. All you wanted was to be happy with him, but instead there were constant reminders that he was no longer there. Stacked up bills and inquiries about single-household payments, and the liquor which he hardly ever let you drink in fear you’d succumb to its temptation.

“There’s helicopters over my head every night when I go to bed. Spending money and I earned it, when I’m lonely, that’s when I’ll burn it,” You had complete control over yourself, sure, but at what cost? As you strummed, you felt tears pricking your eyes.

“Do you feel ashamed,” Singing clearly, it surprised Jack, who was already stunned silent, “When you hear my name?”

“I asked you, ‘How is your sister? I heard she got her degree.’” You detailed a conversation.

“And I said, ‘That makes me feel old.’

You said, ‘What does that make me?’

You asked me, ‘How is playing drums?

I said, ‘It's too much shit to carry. And what about the band?’

You said, ‘They’re all getting married.’”

You continued on, “Do you feel ashamed when you hear my name?”

You began strumming a tune for a long time, tapping your foot to the sound of the beat. Maybe you went a little overboard, but it didn’t matter. You could tell Jack was glued to you.

“Anyway, don’t be a stranger,” More strumming, “Anyway, don’t be a stranger.”

And on a quieter note, you continued to the final line, “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Jesus Christ, you know you’re talented, don’t you?” Was all your friend managed the day as you set the hollow instrument down, completely taken away.

“Aw, you’re just saying that.”

“I mean it!” He didn’t hesitate as you rubbed the back of your neck.

“Thank you, Jack,” You smiled softly, “And you should be pleased to know that I’ve written something dedicated to you, too.”

His heart was almost definitely leaping, “You did? Can I hear it?”

“Mmm, maybe in France,” You teased.

-

You found France to be quite lovely, filled with beautifully blue clear water, and lovely locals that had a tendency to mistake you and Jack as a couple. Despite the mishaps, you’d gone to see various things. The art galleries, cafés, bars and lounges, they were all magical, and today you’d be seeing the ocean for the first time ever.

Harry was not so amused by the photos you’d sent him. He was glad you were having fun, yes, but he hated that it wasn’t with him. He was the one who promised you he’d take you to see the ocean, and he was the one who was supposed to take you to see it for the first time. Not some idiot with a PhD who didn’t know half of the things he knew about you. He was angry, not at you or Jack, but with himself. It hurt so much to see you with another, and you weren’t even his. How must you have felt during your relationship with him?

And now, he was drinking whiskey in his bedroom, strumming notes mindlessly. His phone rang once, but he didn’t really notice it, the volume being off. That was until he felt he was finished with his guitar and set it to the side of his bed, finding that he’d dropped his phone. The screen showed brightly that he had missed a call from you, and soon later, after he’d turned his sound on, the rooster notification sounded throughout the room. He chuckled and turned it down, already slightly tipsy before he began to play the voicemail on speaker.

It was you, practicing your French.

“Coucou! Tu dors ? Oh, j'suis désolée…(Hey! Are you asleep? Oh, I’m sorry…)” You sounded lovely in French, like the language was made for you.

“Bah (Well…),” You began but decided to take it back, “Non... Nan, c'est pas important… (No, it’s not important.)”

“Ouais, on a été à la plage, et maintenant on— (Yes, we went to the beach and now we—)” You were telling him about your day, just as you had been for the past few days as you kept in touch. He was smiling as he heard you, but then he picked up on a voice in the back, assuming it was your friend.

He heard something about the dinner, but then the words hit him. Mon cherie. My dear. My darling. My love. Had something already happened?

“Parfait ! (Perfect!)” You answered Jack, “Allez ! (Let’s go!)”

The voicemail ended abruptly, leaving him cold, staring at the wall in his bedroom, utterly dumbfounded. His strongest coping mechanism was always songwriting, and maybe that was a habit you’d picked up, but he sighed and pulled his laptop onto his lap.

Mon cherie. Cherry.

He’d use your voicemail in it, he was sure, and he chewed on his necklace as he looked down upon the lyrics later.

Don’t you call him baby.

[rabbitechoes]

feels like a bit of a less-eventful month for new releases, but i still heard a few great records!!! i've been very enamored with the new porter robinson album especially!!! it's looking like august will be a veryyyyy busy month for new releases so let's hope i don't get swamped ... to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

SMILE! :D - Porter Robinson

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: indietronica, electropop, pop rock

Despite the drastic difference in execution, Porter Robinson’s third studio album SMILE! :D is the perfect follow-up to 2021’s Nurture. The latter acted as an exploration to appreciate the beauty of life and art, all through bright and textured production. SMILE! :D is just as existential, but this time it’s a quest for Porter to learn to love himself and find enjoyment in the music he makes. Robinson ventures into his struggles with fame, fandom, and getting lost in nostalgia over bombastic electropop production. Those going into this album with the high expectations set by Nurture will most likely be disappointed – even I, who was pretty late to the hype of that record, found myself a bit stumped by this album at first. It’s a step back and as tongue-in-cheek as it is sincere, but it all comes into focus eventually. To move forward, SMILE! :D was the album he needed to make.

There’s a sugary sweet sound to most of the record which creates this dizzying array of emotions. On my first few listens, I viewed this as one of the album’s main flaws, and while I still have some very minor nitpicks with this approach, the brilliance of this choice reveals itself. The listener has about as much of a grasp on Robinson’s emotions as he does. He’s desperately trying to get a grip and rekindle the fun of making music, all the while putting on a delusionally brave face as he reckons with all of this conflict. Many of the album’s core themes are introduced in the faux-braggadocious opener, “Knock Yourself Out XD.” Robinson wrestles with how people perceive him and his music. Fighting expectations set by both his fans and the music industry at large. He wants to make happy pop music, but he can’t – at least not for long. The end of the song has him defeatedly embracing the aesthetics of a star; face tattoos, a drink in hand, a fancy new car, but it’s all disingenuous. “Cheerleader” and “Russian Roulette” expand on these ideas. The former is a cathartic banger about the parasocial relationships some people have with their favorite artists and the latter is an emotionally dynamic exploration of how it all affects his depression – drawing to a close with the sobering repeated phrase, “I wanna live, I don’t wanna die” before getting swallowed by rave-like synths. Robinson’s analysis of this is all through the context of the internet, which I find very compelling. The perpetual unseriousness of the internet, he sings about “YouTube review, funny monkey / Takes a piss into his own mouth, crazy” a reference to Pitchfork’s notorious review of Jet’s Shine On and how “A bad guy just died / They’re making memes about it.” This behavior, of which most of us are guilty to some degree, can disincentive sincerity and throw emotion to the wind. It can also be dehumanizing to the artists, making them feel like soulless commodities for our enjoyment alone.

“Russian Roulette” and the aggressive “Perfect Pinterest Garden” mark turning points in the album’s focus, it’s from here that Robinson begins to look further inward and dissect his own behaviors. “Year of the Cup” has the same structure as those TikTok videos of people putting Midwest emo riffs instrumentation over random videos which makes for one of the shakier moments on the record, but he manages to make it work. The song is built around this combative interview Lil Wayne did with Tim Westwood in 2009 and Robinson ties it back to his struggles with alcoholism and lashing out at those close to him. The predominant theme for the rest of the album is Robinson trying to come to terms with himself while reconnecting with his audience more healthily. He reminisces on how his past self would perceive him now, vowing to “Take care of the person we’ll both be eventually” on “Easier to Love You.” He regrets the things he’s done to become what he thinks a star should be, he’s just “Trying to look good, trying not to feel bad.” It’s empty and unfulfilling, he has to reconnect with who he is to both himself and his audience – finally coming to some form of a resolution on the optimistic closer “Everything To Me.”

SMILE! :D is an unconventional love letter to Robinson’s fans. In his words, they were “the perfect muse for an entire album.” This is an excellent album, one that is both interesting and immensely enjoyable. I understand why it’s proven to be a bit polarizing, but this is one of his finest achievements yet. His talents as a producer and songwriter are on full display here – and in much different ways than the album proceeding it. I’m pretty enamored with this album.

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Passage du Desir - Johnny Blue Skies / Sturgill Simpson

◇ released: July 14, 2024 ◇ genres: progressive country, country rock

Ever since 2014’s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, Sturgill Simpson has made a name for himself as one of the most ambitious artists in country music that’s just barely outside the mainstream. Unlike a lot of other country artists who regularly see critical acclaim for simply being normal when compared to the worst the genre usually has to offer, Simpson has garnered that acclaim for making interesting music. His sound balances the rooted and the otherworldly – Passage du Desir is another great showcase of that. Working under the pseudonym Johnny Blue Skies, he crafts this almost cosmic sound. It’s like a country star beamed back down to earth, here to make country music that sounds familiar to us, but with an opulent and psychedelic twist that few artists wield as well as he does.

At each of these song’s respective cores is a damn fine country song, displaying Simpson’s clear understanding of the genre, but the arrangements are what make this album so special. This album was recorded in both Nashville and Abbey Road Studios in London and Simpson sounds in complete control here. He’s determined to take these songs to just the right heights. Like the opening accordion passage and subsequent simmering psychedelia of “Swamp of Sadness” where he sings of “Nights under the bright lights at Mignon on Beaumarchais,” hardly regular country fair – I would be amused to hear Morgan Wallen sing of nights spent in Paris. It has this alluring dreaminess to it that just swallows you, an incredible opener that shows his ambition. The centerpiece of the album is “Jupiter’s Faerie,” a cathartic lamentation of a lost friend. His vocals have this understated effect to them and the instrumentation builds around him as it eventually explodes alongside him in the chorus. The string flourishes in the chorus is exhilarating and beautiful. The near 9-minute “One For The Road” closes the album strong and another crowning achievement in Simpson’s, or Johnny Blue Skies’, career thus far. It’s a bittersweet country ballad that you can just get lost in. Ending the album with an extended instrumental section with harmonica, a soft piano, and a striking guitar solo is a bold move, but it works so well. 

There are moments where things are relatively stripped-back, like the jaunty “Scooter Blues,” the delightful melancholy of “Who I Am,” and the sweetness of “Mint Tea” – rather than potentially act as roadblocks between the more expansive tracks, they’re necessary. They re-center the album’s focus, grounding it a bit so that the grander moments hit that much harder. They never veer into the generic either, they still show an artist poised to be different.

Passage du Desir is an amazing album and the start of a bold new chapter for Johnny Blue Skies. Simpson’s use of that alter-ego from here on out is a little confusing given how personal everything still feels, but as long as he’s still making great music like this who am I to complain? This isn’t hokey or gimmicky at all, it just feels like yet another one of his tactics to subvert people’s expectations. Keep it up, I say!

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魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) - Hakushi Hasegawa

◇ released: July 24, 2024 ◇ genres: art pop, glitch pop, nu jazz, deconstructed club, folktronica

I’ve been acutely aware of Hakushi Hasegawa for a little bit now, mainly through the acclaim of their 2018 EP 草木萌動 (Sōmoku hōdō). Despite that, 魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) was my first foray into their music. Talk about a first impression, this album is insane. Right from the start, it grabs you by the scruff of your neck and throws you on a rollercoaster of abrasive, colorful, and rhythmic instrumentation. These songs are captivating, both in how wild they tend to be and even more so in how occasionally beautiful they are. Like the disorienting sound of “行つてしまつた (Gone)” with KID FRESNO or the serene folktronica of “撤回 (Repeal).” Hasegawa has a deep understanding of the eclectic sounds they’re incorporating on this record which makes both their renditions and disorientations of them pay off in such a unique way. 

Nearly every song here has some kind of unexpected twist and turn. The rare ones that don’t still add this feeling of surreality to the album. There’s such a palpable energy to the album too, it’s like electricity currents are running underneath every song on the album. It feels almost magical like you’re in some kind of distorted fantasy land where things only vaguely resemble what you’re familiar with. Hasegawa is in complete control of these eccentric sounds. This is very evident on tracks like “恐怖の星 (KYŌFUNOHOSHI)” with its distinct blend of nu jazz and glitch pop. Or the avant-garde sound collage nature of “焱ばみ (Enbami).” Nothing sounds out of their jurisdiction. They lead these songs into bold new territory and you’re just along for the experience. 

魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) is an amazing album that greatly showcases Hakushi Hasegawa’s talents. This is an album best experienced in one sitting. Let all of these sounds wash over you – or rather let them throw themselves at you. This album hardly wastes a single second, besides that 30-second interlude of an A.I. conversation, they just keep crafting wild, exciting, and sometimes gorgeous sounds that are sure to enthrall you. This is one of the best instances of maximalist music in the online age. It’s also a good motivator to finally go back through Hasegawa’s back catalog and hear what I’ve been missing.

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King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 - Denzel Curry

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: southern hip hop, trap, hardcore hip hop, memphis rap

Denzel Curry has proven to be one of the most consistent rappers of the modern era and that remains true with this new record, King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 – the sequel to one of his early mixtapes. Curry’s last album, Melt My Eyez See Your Future, was the biggest progression of his sound since TA13OO in 2018. However, instead of pushing forward, Curry decided to take a step backward and get re-acquainted with his roots. This album is just no-nonsense southern hip hop in a concise and effective package. Gone are the dense, jazz-flavored beats of his last album – in are the hard-hitting hardcore beats that cut right to the heart of the matter. Neither approach is inherently better or worse, but Curry has crafted one of the most fiery hip hop records of the year with the latter.

Curry is no stranger to scaling things back after a big project – in fact, it’s a part of his formula at this point. The ambitious TA13OO beget ZUU the following year and Melt My Eyez led into this great new record. This is a much more effective record than ZUU, it shows Curry returning to his old stomping grounds and showing that he is a force to be reckoned with. He enlists numerous fellow southern rappers to aid him, aside from a few from the East and West coasts, as well as Kingpin Skinny Pimp to host the record in its interludes. This is a very collaborative effort, but make no mistake Curry is the star. He rarely ever does things halfheartedly, but he sounds incredibly reinvigorated on this project. His bars are clever, sharp, and confident. They have this air of spontaneity to them which makes this album so infectious. The other rappers featured here, for the most part, keep that same energy. Like on “BLACK FLAG FREESTYLE” where That Mexican OT – who I had never heard of before this project, damn near steals the show. That’s another cool thing about this album, alongside some well-established names, it features a lot of lower-profile rappers like That Mexican OT, TiaCorine, Key Nyata, and Armani White who get the opportunity to shine here alongside Denzel. Everyone brings the heat and most of them make a good impression. On his quest to prove that he’s the king, Curry raises these artists up with him while also sharing the stage with legends like Juicy J and Project Pat – although Pat will show up damn near anywhere at this point.

Although some tracks don’t fully stick the landing, like “Set It” with Maxo Kream and “Hit the Floor” with Ski Mask the Slump God, there’s no shortage of bonafide heaters on this record. “HOT ONE,” the album’s lead single, is an awesome mix of trap, cloud rap, and Memphis rap. Curry boldly claims that he hasn’t changed despite leaving the South, he’s still just as driven. That drive is evident throughout the project. “G’Z UP” is a straight-up jam that doesn’t waste any time and features great guest verses from 2 Chainz and Mike Dimes. “SKED” has Curry, Kenny Mason, and Project Pat sounding fearless over a lowkey almost rage beat. Every now and then some tracks feel like they’re far too brief, but that can be sort of forgiven due to the album’s quick pacing. Dull moments are seldom found here.

King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 feels like a quick detour for Curry before he goes back to making grander projects – this is hardly a dismissal of the project though as it’s almost endlessly enjoyable. He reconnects with his roots in a deeply satisfying way. He’s always been one of the most exciting artists in hip hop and this record provides further proof to that claim.

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The War - Toy Bastard

◇ released: July 15, 2024 ◇ genres: indie rock, post-rock

Ethan Ives, best known as a multi-instrumentalist in Car Seat Headrest, has released his second album under the name Toy Bastard. The War is a damn fine post-rock record with some big indie rock choruses throughout. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s a very great record despite that. This is a concept record about, I believe metaphorically, being at war. Ives uses wartime imagery to detail being at war with the world itself. It’s a concept that could easily be a little corny, but it works well here. This frantic and anxious atmosphere keeps you engaged, waiting to see what comes next. Made all the more enthralling because of the instrumentation – perhaps the biggest highlight of the record. Everything has a punch, nothing lays soft on the ears or floats past you. Everything from the acoustic guitar passage at the start of “The Babe in the Woodshed” to the sporadic synths on “Summer of ‘14,” it all just grabs you. Necessary for the concept to work as well as it does.

My favorite moment on the record comes with the 13-minute “VALIS,” an epic borderline prog-rock instrumental which, even without words, adds so much to the record’s concept. If you take the album at face value and believe the narrator is actually at war, it sounds like being on the battlefield. Loud guitar riffs come and go before being washed out alongside these choral arrangements – it’s unpredictable, but you’re hanging on to every shift. It’s wonderfully paced and not something I was expecting going into this record. Even on the tracks that are more of your standard indie rock, Ives brings in some cool quirks to these arrangements. It never sounds generic or tired, it sounds like he has a strong vision of what he wants this album to sound like, and for the most part, he nails it. The album ends with “Daddy Was a Starship Captain,” another “epic” track and the emotional climax of the record. It displays all of his strengths as both a songwriter and a producer, from the aquatic vocals to the killer guitar solo towards the end – everything just comes together here. Songs like this and “VALIS,” make me so excited to hear what Toy Bastard has in store for the future. The War is a great record and I feel like we’ll get even more great records from him in the future.

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My Light, My Destroyer - Cassandra Jenkins

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, sophisti-pop, indie rock

My Light, My Destroyer sounds like sifting through old photos during a transitional period of your life and letting all of the old memories wash over you like waves on the shore. One minute you’re transported back to the past, not a perfect one, but one that seems more comforting than where you are now. The next you’re reflecting on the present, the dishes are piling up and you feel alone, but there are still beautiful things in the world and you need to be reminded of that – The constellations in the sky, the colorful flowers, and the people you love. Cassandra Jenkins explores them all in her bold third studio album, the follow-up to her acclaimed previous album An Overview on Phenomenal Nature as well as her label debut on Dead Oceans.

The instrumentation is the only thing that keeps this album from reaching its full potential. Jenkins’ songwriting is the strongest it has ever been here, but some of these songs lack a distinct sound that separates her from her contemporaries. Like the soaring guitars on “Aurora, IL” which sound reminiscent of some of her new labelmates – it’s not a bad song, I just wish every track here had a striking and distinct sound that matched her songwriting. That’s certainly not to say there’s a shortage of unique arrangements here. In fact, I think this is her strongest material to date in that regard. Like the ambient art pop of “Delphinium Blue” where Jenkins’ voice sounds adrift in the ocean as the atmospheric synths and subtle percussion surround her. She’s trying to keep herself grounded as she gets lost in the delphinium flowers that remind her of someone. All of those feelings are not just conveyed lyrically, but also through the instrumentation. She shifts between that soft art pop and more rock-tinged tracks, like the steady guitars of “Petco” and the almost country flavor of “Clams Casino.” It’s a good balance. The strongest track on the album is “Tape and Tissue,” with its jazzy flavor which juxtaposes the spacey synths in such an amazing way. It’s one of the most vulnerable moments in Jenkins’ catalog thus far, a very captivating song.

This is a fascinating next step for Jenkins and I’m excited to hear where she goes from here. Her music sounds bigger and more polished, but I hope she introduces some more unique sounds in the future to make herself fully stand out. There’s a lot to love here though, I just feel like her best is still on the horizon. I can’t wait for that.

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Charm - Clairo

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: soft rock, sophisti-pop

Bedroom pop icon Claire Cottrill continues to ramp up her sound on her third studio album Charm. Her last album was very folk-inspired, but instead of going further in that direction, she dives deep into this 70s soft rock sound which yields some gorgeous instrumentation while often obscuring her in the process. Clairo’s vocals have always been light no matter the words she’s singing, she’s a very cozy singer. This has worked in her favor a lot of the time, like on the mostly spare arrangements of Sling, but on Charm, she ends up getting lost in it all. Not in a “this music is free-flowing and all-encompassing” kind of way, but in a way that snuffs out some of the heart of the record. These beautiful, mostly organic arrangements yearn for a vocalist with stronger conviction. If there ever was an album for Clairo to add some new flair to her delivery it was this one. 

There are some strong highlights here though, namely the opening track “Nomad” with its alluringly textured arrangement – the twinkling guitar and that weighty upright bass work so well together. It’s also one of the songs where I think she stands out as a vocalist, the way she seamlessly transitions to the higher note of the chorus is stunning. Very glad that song finally clicked with me after I heard it as a single and was left a little unimpressed. That starts the album on a very high note and it just keeps going! It’s light on the ears, most songs coming and going without grabbing you beyond a catchy chorus or maybe some cool new bits of instrumentation. Like the whirling synths on “Juna” or the clarinet on “Pier 4,” but those bright spots aren’t enough to elevate the album to a more satisfying level. Charm is a very pleasant album. It’s not bad at all, it’s just pleasant.   I understand why some people love this unabashedly, I was just craving something with a bit more substance. The thing is, her lyricism isn’t unsubstantial, I just wish she delivered it in a more engaging form and not within songs that often fade into the background. I’m curious about which direction she’ll go in after Charm, I just hope it’s more interesting.

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Bando Stone and the New World - Childish Gambino

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, art pop

Donald Glover is drawing the Childish Gambino era of his career to a close with Bando Stone and the New World – the soundtrack to his upcoming film which doesn’t have a release date yet. It’s a bold move to drop the soundtrack to a film that still has no release date, but Glover has made interesting creative decisions for years now to varying levels of success. In a way, that’s what makes this album the perfect closing chapter for Childish Gambino. It’s an ambitious, eclectic mess with high highs, low lows, and a lot of stuff that falls in between. Such is the case with most of his albums – bar Awaken, My Love which I think is a consistently great project and his best work. However, while it might be a fitting end, that doesn’t make this a great record.

Glover dabbles in a number of different sounds across this album, which is neat, but the songs themselves leave a lot to be desired. It’s cool that “Running Around” is a pop punk track, but is the song that good beyond the novel concept? Not really. The same can be said about “Happy Survival” which is a dub song. It’s cool that he goes to these places, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. Then again, maybe the songs that didn’t click with me on this album make more sense in the context of the film. There are plenty of voice clips and narrative references I can only assume are related to the film it’s soundtracking, but they mean nothing to me in this current moment. On its own, it feels like this album is awkwardly awaiting its companion. To play on a quote from Glover’s character in Community, “I can’t wait to understand these references!”

With that being said, he manages to throw in some great songs here and there. I said in my write-up on “Lithonia” when it was first released as a single that it was “overdramatic and suffocating,” but that it could be the soundtrack to a climactic moment in both the film and the soundtrack. Well, despite it being only the second song on the album, I unabashedly love this track. The suffocating nature of the production ramps up the energy even more and Glover’s yelped vocals add to the intensity. I don’t know who Cody LeRae is, but that dude is going through some shit! He plays around with various styles of hip hop across the album to mostly good results. The peak of this is the deceptively layered production of “Yoshinoya,” which has Glover cutting out all pretense and making a straight-up banger. “No Excuses” is another massive highlight as it blends neo-soul with some subtle lounge elements and the end result is one of the prettiest songs in his catalog. The little synth riffs in the choruses are just sublime. This album is spotty overall, but it has plenty of gems.

Childish Gambino has been a constant presence in hip hop and beyond for over a decade now. Starting out as an actor making deeply corny music on Camp, to the massive Because the Internet which is considered by many to be a seminal 2010s hip hop record despite its flaws – no shame, I have nostalgia for it too – to his more experimental works in both music and TV throughout the later part of the decade, Childish Gambino’s legacy is nothing to sneeze at. Sure, it’s got an abundance of flaws, and a lot of it doesn’t hold up under intense scrutiny, but he’s nothing if not ambitious. Such is the case with Bando Stone and the New World which, in its own imperfect way, is the perfect end to the Childish Gambino story.

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Y2K! - Ice Spice

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: new york drill, east coast hip hop

Ice Spice has become one of the most prominent figures in hip-hop, for better or for worse. She’s built an empire on hit-or-miss heaters and an abundance of bars of the fecal variety. Now, after what seems like a long wait, we have her debut album Y2K! – an album that doesn’t resemble any of the aesthetics or reference anything from Y2K culture, so that’s a bit of a head-scratcher. This is hardly a bold new statement from Ice Spice, this is just her doing her thing except a bit more tired. These songs, for the most part, leave you with nothing to say. She and producer RIOTUSA craft sleepy bangers that give Spice the stage to do her same old, same old routine. She has “ABC, 123” flows and says the most inane stuff until she spits another funny poop or fart bar that’s so weird that it makes me laugh so hard until I feel sick. There’s a three-track run where she centers all of this soiled energy, she says “I’m Miss Poopie, but I never smell” on “BB Belt,” “Think you the shit, bitch? / You not even the fart (Grrah)” on the titular “Think U The Shit (Fart),” and she rounds it all up with “I'm Miss Poopie like I need a diaper (Grrah)” on “Gimmie A Light.” Ok, Miss Poopie, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you determined to be the poop bar girl?

“Did It First” with Central Cee is the only song I think is pretty great. Somehow they just bring out the best in each other, it’s one of her best for sure. The rest of Y2K! is either just ok, bad, or exhausting, but you would be hard-pressed to find another album that has made me laugh as much as it has so I guess that has to count for something. 

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Guilty Pleasure - JoJo Siwa

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: electropop, dance-pop, slap house

Dance Moms and Nickelodeon alumni JoJo Siwa has been making an ass of herself over the last few months as she ushers in this new “adult” era of her career. From gaudy outfits and makeup to claiming that she wants to invent “gay pop” to downing Fireball during a live performance, she’s become a consistent scapegoat of the internet. After hearing this new EP Guilty Pleasures, I just have to ask … why did she do all that? Now, Siwa has never had a penchant for subtlety – see her car with a wrap-around decal that’s just a collage of her face as the most damning example – but this music just doesn’t call for any of that. It’s more mature in a sense, she sings about “twirlin' in a ballroom” and “twerkin' in the bedroom” in the song “Balance Baby” and the biggest hook on the album is Siwa crooning that “Karma’s a bitch!” so this wouldn’t get played on Nickelodeon that’s for sure, but it all just feels so childish. It’s almost like she’s doing an over-the-top parody of the infamous edgy phases a lot of child stars have gone through – which if that’s the case, maybe this is all genius, but I highly doubt it. Also enlisting Meghan Trainor for help on your “I’m a big kid now” EP is laughable. It’s like trying to buy punk clothes at an Old Navy. 

On the whole, I guess Guilty Pleasure isn’t as big of a trainwreck musically as I thought it would be – not to say it’s good by any means though. It’s just loud, vapid, boringly competent pop songs for the most part that weren’t worth all of the antics we’ve been subject to for months. I don’t see this being the starting point for a fruitful new chapter of JoJo Siwa’s career. The music is incredibly forgettable so maybe that’s why she feels the need to make a fool of herself in public.

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The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grâce) - Eminem

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genre: hardcore hip hop

In this messy concept album, Eminem resurrects and then kills his alter ego “Slim Shady” while also offering an introspective look at his own life. Sounds like a cool concept, in theory – no doubt, a little bit of a nostalgia ploy for the millennial crowd, but in execution, this is one of the most clumsy albums I’ve ever heard. I wasn’t expecting much at all going into The Death of Slim Shady given the state of his work over the past, give or take, 20 years, but it might be worse than I was anticipating. He fumbles over this concept of wrestling with his edgy other self for the bulk of the record, relying on tired shock humor and staccato flows that wear thin barely before the album gets going.

The shock humor in question is seemingly self-aware, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. Eminem and Slim Shady poke fun at several things that will get the worst people you know to cheer and applaud. Multiple jabs at Caitlyn Jenner and transgender people in general, Christopher Reeve and paraplegic people, people with dwarfism, and numerous mentions of people being “woke” and Eminem being afraid of the “politically correct police.” The desired reaction is a “WOAH, CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT?” – but my reaction was just a shrug of the shoulders and an “ok?” This concept plagues the album and he runs every joke into the ground right as it’s getting started. If I took a shot every time Caitlyn Jenner was mentioned on this album I would die of alcohol poisoning. More than the material on the album being tired, Eminem’s fanbase by and large clings to this edgy stuff. They lament the “woke mob” and “cancel culture” so they’re taking the album at face value. Likewise, Eminem’s critics take it at face value as well and pick lyrics out of context to make Eminem look like the bad guy he pokes fun at. So, this album is one both his fanbase and critics misinterpret and an incredibly rough listen even if you grasp the concept – so is there anything at all The Death of Slim Shady succeeds at? Uhhhh, some of the beats are cool I guess.

This album is just Eminem doing his thing. He’s stuck in this “lyrical spiritual miracle” style perpetually and it’s grating even if he had something of worth to say – which he doesn’t. Even the ruminations he offers on his own life, career, and family feel way too theatrical and obtuse to connect with. The album’s drastic shift at points towards the end, namely “Temporary” and the closer “Somebody Save Me,” where he makes songs directed to his family in the event of his passing just falls flat. Not helped by the fact he comes into the record with a full head of steam as he lashes out at the world in his own self-obsessed way. The rare time it sort of, emphasis on that, works is on the short opener “Renaissance” where he takes aim at modern hip hop fans. There’s no shortage of clunky bars, but “You nerdy pricks would find somethin' wrong with 36 Chambers” gave me a good laugh, ostensibly making it the highlight of the record for me. 

The Death of Slim Shady is a complicated misfire being celebrated by those who don’t understand it as a win and being torn down by those who also don’t understand it as a bigoted dumpster fire. I want to make this perfectly clear, it is not the onus of the artist to spoon-feed the audience what the actual meaning of it all is, but this just seems like a total miscalculation and misunderstanding of your fanbase and the world at large. Slim Shady’s edgy antics seemed outlandish in the 2000s which is what made them kind of work, but when he goes on record venting about “woke people” and transgender people it just doesn’t ring the same in 2024. These are talking points that aren’t hard to find anymore, they’re in the mainstream. It will be celebrated by those who agree with his observations and ridiculed by those who see Marshall Mathers as another old rapper who cried “cancel culture.” It’s a lose-lose situation, not helped at all by the fact that this album simply isn’t good – I would go as far as to say it’s pretty bad.

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I Love You So F***ing Much - Glass Animals

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: alt-pop, pop rock

Glass Animal’s previous effort Dreamland is one of my nightmare albums. One of the vapidest and most irritating albums I’ve ever heard – made even more unbearable by the fact their disaster song “Heat Waves” lingered on the charts for well over a year, 91 weeks to be exact. The band holds the record for the longest-charting song on the Billboard Hot 100 of all time. Everyone I’ve spoken to tells me some variation of “This band used to be good” or “They just got too commercial,” and while that may be true, they’re not worthy of much grace. My only prior exposure to the band was through “Life Itself” playing all the time on my local alternative radio station in the summer of 2016. That song isn’t perfect by any means, but listening to it after having heard Dreamland and I Love You So F***ing Much, made it feel like one of the greatest songs of all time. The band did not clean up their act on this new record here, in fact, they just dug their graves even deeper. 

A lot of the same horrible qualities of their last album are present here except for that corporate summer veneer. Instead, that’s traded out for spacier sounds which don’t make the album any more palatable. There is no life here. It’s as if a group of deeply sheltered 20-somethings who had only heard sacred music their entire life stumbled upon MGMT and decided to make their version. The band is not good songwriters, perhaps their only talent is the ability to drive the most annoying choruses and melodies you have ever heard far into the ground – ironic given the interstellar aspirations they have for this album. The worst offender here is “A Tear in Space (Airlock)” with its repeating “WATAAH” hooks in the chorus. I sense a desire from the band to have another “Heat Waves,” they want to fluke their way back onto the charts with another big song with a big, obnoxious chorus, but I don’t see that happening with any track on the album. That’s the only artistic motivation I can grasp from this project, it feels desolate. It’s empty and soul-crushing, it doesn’t feel human. Made even worse by the fact that I don’t think any of the normal pop music listeners were clamoring for another song from the “Heat Waves” band – so I have to ask, why did they decide to go down this dead-end road instead of making something even a teeny tiny bit interesting? Have they simply just thrown in the towel and resigned themselves to making this kind of music for the foreseeable future? I Love You So F***ing Much is a hopeless record, a deeply miserable affair with little to no redeeming qualities. It’s the sound of a band with no convictions and no heart. The threat of A.I. and its inevitable use in music is a genuine fear, but I feel like a computer could never replicate the human element of music. I have faith that the general public will see through it as some sort of gimmick and it won’t put any musicians out of a job – well, maybe except for Glass Animals.

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psssst. i made a discord server called COSMIACORD ... if u wanna join and have fun, talk about music, play fortnite, or whatever here's the invite :3 https://discord.gg/rsHMenTU

[suguruslut]

Going to a concert

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

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Gwen’s note: i saw mcr and angele in concert this year...the only thing missing was a househusband to hold my snacks...

🐉𝒯𝒶𝓉𝓈𝓊🍳

--as we know, Tatsu is really into rap music, so when you win tickets to see Agust D in concert, Tatsu flips his shit. dude won’t stop talking about it for all the months leading up to the concert. he actually makes Goda cry one time out of jealousy

--once the night arrives, Tatsu is over prepared, waiting outside the arena a good four hours before the show starts; nobody dared cut in front of you guys, and he was one of the first in line for merch, grinning proudly at your matching t-shirts

--he somehow got all his snacks and water bottles past security?? don’t ask how, he’ll never tell

--once you get in, Tatsu’s leading the way through the crowd with a gentle grip on your hand, making you drink water and sit at least for a few minutes since you’ll be standing and jumping the entire concert. the place is packed, but he assures you there’s no hitmen nearby

--definitely tears up when Agust D first comes out, then REALLY gets into it all while staying within concert etiquette. he sings all the lyrics, which he knows by heart, and it makes you smile to see him so happy and inspired

--dedicates each song to you, even though he didn’t write them; the only time this makes you cry is when he says it before AMYGDALA, his favorite off Agust D’s new album. Tatsu says it reminds him of how bad things were before meeting you, but now that you’re in it together, life and its choices seem a lot less difficult

-- immediately following the show and still riding the concert high... “I bet I can make my own mixtape! I found some great ideas on Pinterest...whattya think of that, Y/N?!”

🐅𝒯𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓇𝑜🍰

--Tora strikes me as a heavy metal kind of guy, always head banging and screaming his heart out whilst driving his kawaii crepe truck. when you surprise him with tickets to Beast in Black, he almost crushes your back with how tightly he hugs you

--listens to all their albums the week leading up to the concert, nonstop repeat so he knows all the words to every single song. luckily you love him, so you find it endearing to listen to him scream as loud as he can for most of the day. and pretend he knows how to play electric guitar

--doesn’t want to arrive early bcz that’s “uncool,” so you guys show up just as the concert is starting, Tora shoving his way through the crowd with you using him as a shield

-- “Outta the way, scrubs! A true fan is coming through!”

--literally pushes his way right up to the stage. you won’t be able to hear tomorrow, but how can you care about that when you see Tora’s face light up upon the band entering?

--he really did learn all the lyrics, screaming and singing with a grin on his face as he keeps one arm around you at all times, pumping his other fist in time with the music; you can’t believe how carefree Tora is acting, thinking you should bring him to heavy metal concerts more often

--One Night In Tokyo is his absolute favorite song, but he won’t admit to shedding tears after hearing it live. well, maybe just to you, because you got it on video for blackmail material

--for sure had you take a million pictures of him at the concert so he can brag to his friends (Tatsu) and frame some for your apartment

🐕ℳ𝒶𝓈𝒶🥡

--I can see Masa being very into trendy music, especially Jpop and Kpop. when he hears Band Maid is in town, he blows his last paycheck on two tickets; imagine his shock when you say you’ve never heard any of their songs

--by the time the concert comes around, let’s just say you now know every single song from each album, thanks to Masa overloading you with fandom info. you know each member, their life history, favorite foods, iconic looks, etc. etc. your husband is a major BM nerd, okay?

-- “I can’t believe you’ve never listened to them before! Here’s their first album, which I think was the third best out of all their albums, and here’s a list of the biggest venues they’ve played at, and...”

--should’ve put that boy on a leash...Masa gets lost at the venue at least five different times, always in search of the nearest bathroom and ending up in creepy hallways and surrounded by strangers

--they literally call your name over the speakers to come get him, lmao. once you clip him to your belt the concert starts, and the second the girls step on stage, Masa bursts into tears and squeals, though you’re not sure if it’s because he’s excited for the music or bcz they’re all wearing maid outfits...

--I think Masa would have a great singing voice, so it’s actually pleasant to hear him sing along with the band. you guys had pretty good seats, and Masa was taking endless pics and videos of both Band Maid and you two. before the concert was even over he set his wallpaper as one of your cheerful selfies, concert lights streaming over your faces

--dumbass didn’t even realize he bought backstage passes, and his favorite member, Misa (bcz her name is similar to his), actually signs his t-shirt for him, prompting him to pass out in your arms

--he’s just as elated when he wakes up as he was when he passed out, and will probably never stop talking about the time you two went to a Band Maid concert together

                                                        🐉 🐅 🐕

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello there, I hope you enjoyed your summer break! I'm the INFX anon from the post on June 30 (721567168810057728). I struggle with anxiety so I had trouble opening your response for months, until I did so today. I saw that you didn't receive the second half of my message and couldn't make a thorough analysis based on just the first half, so I figured I could try doing sending it now. I stopped somewhere halfway through describing my Se Inf, so I'll continue with that.

[I'm going to copy the previous post to put everything together.]

Hello, I am INFX, 21 y.o. After reading your blog, taking some tests and understanding functions (hopefully) a little better, I narrowed down my options to INFP and INFJ. If you are able to, I would gladly use your help in determining my type. As for important information: I have a generalized anxiety disorder, I had depression for several years and I am still prone to depressive episodes. English is not my first language.

I will start with INFP functional stack.

Fi Dom: I have a fuzzy sense of identity, which is why I often don’t know what I like or dislike, get stuck, don’t trust my gut feelings, rely on others a lot in decision-making processes. I do tend to judge things as either good or bad depending on my beliefs, but the beliefs are weak. I don’t trust them unless they are built on a solid framework of knowledge and evidence. I need to know rather than believe. My emotions emerge seemingly from nowhere. I can’t identify what’s the reason for them and how to deal with them. But for some reason I still think I make decisions relying on my emotions, it’s just that if I always relied on them it would do more harm than good.

Te Inf: I have trouble understanding Te. I know Te is about external structure. Actually I rarely encounter extremely messy lifestyle as in Fi extreme and I can plan things decently, even if I don’t like doing so. Structure helps me and I need it in order not to become chaotic, so I always have an agenda and don’t like it when plans are cancelled. Especially in recent years I got better at structuring my life. Most of the time I know what to do to solve my problems, I just don’t want to do it. So I don’t think I’ve ever encountered Te grip (at least not from what I’m aware of). At my lowest points I did have trouble to take care of myself but I attribute it to depression.

Ne Aux: Ne is one of the few functions I can decently use and understand in a positive way. I often look for new activities to participate in, new hobbies (especially creative ones). I have 300+ tabs open at all times because I research many different topics at once. I can generate creative ideas (usually for my art) with the help of sensory experience (such as music). Often manifests in unhealthy ways - I use daydreaming to escape responsibilities.

I can find a lot of opportunities but I don’t indulge in them or follow through, which makes my interests shallow. I like making lists (of albums to listen, movies to watch, stuff to draw, things to do in general), but I rarely do what’s in those lists. I’d rather daydream about it than actually do something. This is one of my greatest struggles, because I have ideas and inspirations but they always stay in my head or on paper and never come to fruition.

What makes me think Ne is my Aux rather than Dom is that I am very risk-averse and not very extraverted (I know ENXP are the most introverted extraverts though), I have never been very positive either or extremely chaotic either.

Si Tert: I am prone to not stepping outside of my comfort zone. I want new experiences but at the same time I’m afraid of them. As I’ve mentioned before I am very risk-averse, not taking even calculated risks. Fear of failure holds me back. I’m afraid that the status quo may change not in my favor (it will all go downhill if I make a mistake, so I’d rather do nothing at all).

Moving onto INFJ stack:

Ni Dom: I struggle with perfectionism because I have an ideal image of things I want to implement and I’m too afraid I will fail to achieve the ideal; I have a perfect version of myself in mind which I strive to be one day (but often fail to come even close to it). I don’t have a clear picture of my future though.

I know that many people equate Ni with “insightful” thinking, which I cannot relate to. I “predict” the future in a negative way, always expecting a catastrophe and feeling paranoid at worst. I often jump to pessimistic conclusion way before anything bad happened. I keep telling myself that it’s better to keep expectations low in order not to get disappointed.

Se Inf: I cannot engage with physical world because of escapism. When I’m outside I don’t notice my surroundings at all. I go through life on autopilot. Even when I try to be present and focus on the current moment, my sensing is dulled, almost muted, and the engagement feels shallow. I’m always in my head, made-up scenarios are more comforting to me than the real world. I reflected on it for some time and decided depression is not to blame because my Se was unhealthy/unused before that as well, it just escalated.

My partner (ISFX) helped me feel more grounded so now I'm more aware of what's going on around me, but I'm still not satisfied. I feel disappointed after any external stimulation, such as watching a movie. Even though I listen to a lot of music, I often joke that I hate music because most of it makes me feel nothing and feels boring. Since nothing (or very little) touches me emotionally, I find it very difficult to form opinions about what I experience (unhealthy Fi?).

At the same time I fall back on Se when I feel very bad, e.g. I used to go on long, 7-10 hour walks when I was depressed, physically exhausting myself so I would not feel a thing. Still prone to this, doing something physical feels like an easy reward (you're still technically doing something even if it's meaningless).

Fe Aux: I value equality greatly and I am quick to jump into others' shoes (although I do not consider myself empathetic). I rely on others in decision-making process, I have to accumulate different viewpoints before setting my mind to something. I think my Fe is not healthy because I jump to extremes, desperately avoiding intimacy and social connections in general but trying to live up to possible expectations of select few whose opinion matters to me (such as my family or my partner).

I am afraid that authentic expression of myself is not something others would like, so I suppress my voice even when I have something to say. I avoid conflicts. I am ashamed of my preferences, likes and dislikes. I often envision a version of myself that would be palatable to most people. I often shut myself off from my friends and tend to think that I don't need friends in general. I also perceive every social interaction as a contest which I should win, when I compare myself to others I feel sick, so I avoid social situations.

Ti Tert: I have a strong fear of inferiority (from my underdeveloped Fe). I rarely notice any possible signs of Ti loop though. One thing I have encountered is falling back on intelligence to boost self-esteem. But since I believe that I am uneducated and unintelligent, this mechanism fails.

I also noticed the pattern of avoiding people whom I perceive as high-developed Ti or Ti doms because they make me feel lesser and uncomfortable. I am envious of their vast knowledge and the ease with which they share it. I wish I had more knowledge because my self-esteem depends almost entirely on it, I need to feel "smart", it pressures me to develop Ti but I fail.

I think that is pretty much it. Sorry it took me so long to give a complete answer, it's all a bit of a mess. I hope I followed your instructions properly. I think my main question is whether the conflict that is most prominent in my functional stack is Ne-Si or Ni-Se.

-------------------------------

As I said previously, the INFP stack doesn't fit. There is more than enough counter-evidence to rule it out. As for the INFJ stack, all functions fit quite comfortably. The negative patterns and characteristics you describe are typical for immature INFJs. I think you suffer from Ni-Ti loop much more than you are aware of. Perhaps it's a good idea to read through past INFJ posts to understand your issues better.

[thisaintascenereviews]

Witch Fever - Congregation Late last year, English doom-punk band Witch Fever dropped one of my favorite projects in the form of their debut EP, Reincarnate, and it was a very refreshing take on doom metal / occult rock, although they don’t particularly sing about Satan, witches, or spells, as their name is more or less an allusion to how women were vilified as witches during the seventeenth century, versus them using the name as a shock value. They do sing about religion a lot, as a lot of their lyrics deal with religious trauma. The debut EP was fantastic, both in terms for its lyricism and sound, and it was one of my favorite records of the year, so I’ve been eagerly awaiting for anything to follow from this young band. We finally got that with their debut LP, Congregation, released last week, and like Reincarnate, the album itself almost has a theme of recognizing and coping with religious trauma and the cultism that religion brings forth. Vocalist, Amy Walpole, was in an Christian church growing up, and saw firsthand the oppression that they engaged in. Congregation, as an album name, is a cheeky way to describe the unhealthy grip that churchgoers are encased in, including the title track, but I feel as though the album title is just an umbrella term for that. The whole album deals with these themes, and as the listeners, we’re part of this congregation. If you’ve heard the debut EP, you’ll have an idea of what to expect with this album, but if you don’t, you’re in for a treat, at least for the most part, but I’ll get to that what I mean by that a bit later. There’s a lot to like about this record, starting with the band’s sound, taking on doom metal and punk in this weird, cool, and futuristic hybrid. The EP was a good starting point for their sound, but they take it more here. Songs like opener “Blessed Be Thy” have this very fuzzed out doom sound that has a bit of a punk edge to it. A good example of a more punk-leaning track is one of the standouts “I Saw You Dancing,” and it’s a more urgent energetic cut that has some of the best vocals on the entire record. Album closer “12″ is another bruiser that’s almost a nu-metal cut; it’s bouncy, energetic, and a powerful riff is on that song, but it sounds like nothing else on the album. Vocalist Amy Walpole sounds great, too; her vocals are more in a punkish vein, as she doesn’t have a “singing” voice, per se. She doesn’t sing in the traditional sense, the vocals are very much shouted, yelped, and even screamed here and there, but it works very well. The lyrics really help to deserve that delivery, as they are very angry, and the vocals come off the same way. The lyrics deal with religious trauma, but also assault, harassment, grooming, and a lot of uncomfortable topics that women deal with on a daily basis, but are never talked about, at least in a serious kind of way. Clearly Witch Fever has had enough of it, and they’re just openly talking about these things, which is good. This album is going to strike a lot of nerves with people who are religious, because it doesn’t shy away from simply attacking religion, whether it’s talking about weaponizing shame and fear, religion’s cultist practices, demoralizing personality, or using a charismatic leader as a figurehead to control a vulnerable and scared group of people into believing whatever they want. I’m not religious at all, so these lyrics don’t bother me, but I can see these lyrics making any number of white Christian moms with the bob haircut clutch their pearls in fear. All praises aside, and there are a lot of them, I do have some big issues with this LP, but it doesn’t have much to do with the music itself, it’s more so its execution. Their debut EP worked very well for me because it was so short, despite how every song sounded very similar to one another. It was a very repetitive album, and this is no exception. Minus a few songs I mentioned, a lot of these songs feel similar to others on the album. They feel pretty interchangeable, which isn’t a bad thing in itself, but I just don’t have much desire to go through the album as much when the songs just sound the same, minus the few that I really like. The album itself is good, and it’s well-performed, well-written, and it’s very unique, but it just runs together. It’s only 40 minutes, so it’s not drawn out very long, but it just runs together pretty bad. A few songs pop up that break the mold a bit, but a lot of the songs follow a similar formula, and while their sound is unique, they don’t do enough with it in certain songs to keep me engaged as much as I want to. This is a really good album, damn near great, and it’ll be on my year end list, because I want to talk about it. This album is worth hearing, whether it’s for its sound that mixes doom metal and punk, or just for its anti-religious and feminist lyrics that are worth hearing in any context. The main theme here is religious trauma, but they do weave in some ideals here and there, including “my body, my choice,” but it’s in the context of the church and how young girls are pressured to keep their virginity until marriage, and other things related to the toxic and ultimately creepy thing known as “purity culture.” These are ideas that are needed to be heard in 2022, especially when the Christian conservatives are attacking everyone from women to trans people. This is an important album to here just for its message alone, and I think a lot of people could benefit from this record.

[fish-emoji]

I want to try and get better at writing about music so I think I'll do short little reviews of the last five albums I've listened to every time I finish five let me know if you enjoy this content! Reviews under the cut because I imagine this will be long

I.o. - when the dandelions no longer grow

You know when you to a loud ass punk show or play drums for a long time with no ear protection and everything sounds so different afterwards for a few hours? Take that washed out harsh sound and mix it with a strong grasp of emo aesthetics and improvisational audio fuckery and a healthy dose of frenetic drums. This is probably one of my favorite finds lately and I'm super excited to listen to more from this project

V/A - guitar is my best friend

When I was in highschool I was staunchly against having a smart phone, near the tail end of middle school I had gotten in trouble with one, and truthfully I thought they were a pain to use. Through most of highschool and quite a few years after I was rocking a flip phone, it could call and text which is all I needed, but it was also able to record audio, I recorded tons of stuff around me, including my first attempt at guitar. All that to say these guitar tracks recorded through cheap phones sound incredibly nostalgic to me, and I absolutely love how this sounds. I'm also not familiar with Tuareg music but this release makes me want to find out more

Li song - two snare drums

I came across this while searching "snare drum" on Bandcamp, and it's a lovely live set of two snare drums being played. I'm a sucker for these sorts of things, I had a great time listening to it and immediately put it on again after it finished the first time. I never really know how to talk about these pretentious ass albums, I'm just really autistic and this is music that really resonates with that.

U.N.L.V - Straight Out tha Gutta

Unfortunately we are getting into some of the more disappointing stuff I listened to this time. Recently I found the wonderful Sissy Nobby and Katey Red two wonderful bounce artists, and was curious what some of the highest rated bounce projects on RYM were. The beats on here are pretty good but really olny the last one seemed like a bounce track and was the highlight for me.

Egberto Gismonti / Naná Vasconcelos - Duas vozes

This was from my endless backlog that I'm working through, why I was initially interested I'm not sure anymore, where I was introduced to it from, who knows. It was pretty while it was on but it hardly gripped me some parts were really close to being something ear catching but just didn't do it for me. I'll have to revisit it in a few week to see if my opinion changes.

[vyachki]

i will admit i haven't listened to bjork's discography in full. i tried when i was like 15, and it just didn't click for some reason. i just didn't feel that energy, that spark, that qualitas occulta that a lot of female artists have.

i watched a music video where she was bald, shaking her head and turning into some kind of digitalized bear every few seconds & that was pretty much it for me 😭 like WHAT ARE YOU DOING. you are TOO GROWN to be doing this CAN YOU GET A GRIP.

usually, when i listen to an album, it either instantly clicks for me or clicks after disliking it on my first listen and listening it months or years later. but bjork... she's too pragmatic imo. i'm not feeling the energy. i'm not feeling the EMOTION.

i like both pop and alt, but i do lean slightly more towards catchy bubblegum pop and new wave, so maybe bjork is too alt for me and i just can't get used to it idk. it's probably because i grew up listening to late 2000s/early 2010s pop on the radio (the very basic, yet fun "hot n cold by katy perry"-type music).

and i only really started disliking gaga a few years ago.

chromatica PISSED ME OFF. genuinely one of the WORST albums of all time imo. stupid love being the turd on top a steaming pile of feces of an album. when she started selling jockstraps, condoms and lube i was officially done. like girl... have some class...

and, yes, melanie is such a bad artist omg. her music is so bland and personalityless lmfao. the only songs i like by her are pacify her and mrs. potato head & that's me being generous. her stans need to stop getting brave, especially because she's literally a rapist. and the crybaby persona was just weird, not clever.

Okay so I feel like we're on the same wavelength about a lot of things after all...

As a Björk stan, I feel people often fail to see past her eccentricity & bizarreness especially to casual listeners, but if you take the time to explore her discography, I'm certain you'll find some gems in there. She is just a very true musician through & through—she's produced most of her albums, she herself arranges all her songs for her tours now, she's invented multiple instruments & methods of composition, she's very active behind the scenes of what she writes, esp with musical production, programming, & visuals too.

Björk's collab & friendship with Arca was very notable though (esp after Arca's collabs with Kanye West, FKA twigs, & Kelela previously... which were all ICONICCC) but I do think Arca's music is far more confusing/non-palatable than Björk's... I can't get into her solo work.

Yeah the late 2000s/early 2010s had the BEST pop music of all time. Katy Perry, Rihanna, Cascada, Britney, Gaga, Ke$ha, Carly Rae Jepsen, pop Nicki Minaj etc!!! Nobody does it like that anymore. I had just started going to clubs then & I didn't realise it would be the best time of my life. I kinda see that type of pop being rehashed into what "hyperpop" is now, even though Spotify allegedly invented that term to market it (according to Caroline Polachek). Plus the prevalence of nightcore/CupcaKke remixes of older pop songs on Tiktok.

These younger elusive "hyperpop"/SoundCloud artists like Ayesha Erotica, Slayyyter, & That Kid, and even modern pop writers like Charli XCX & Tove Lo are trying to bring that hype back... maybe it's working, maybe it's not.

Chromatica had a FEW bangers, but everyone was so starved & desperate after being in lockdown for like 3 months (by May 2020) that they hyped it up wayyyyy more than what it was worth at face value. These artists are getting very bold with their merch lmao. As for Melanie... the whole baby aesthetic she adopted was way too borderline pedophilic imo... it didn't translate how she expected it to. How tf is she as famous as she is lol

[baekhvuns]

Baek at this point tumblr did me dirty so many times I type my response in the notes app first ahdhshsbhshagsgsamdfk. Anyways, Ateez came to Taiwan the day before I left? I forgot they were even coming.... Jet leg is a biiiiitch, lemme tell you, also it's so hot, I'm melting <3

By the time you answer me EXO would have already made their comeback, so 👀👀👀 all I'm gonna say now is I loved Baek in his little pink fur jacket 😭 I also loved the eyeliner/smokey eyes make up and Xiumin's fit! Honestly, this is a crime :/ https://twitter.com/chanbaektwts/status/1677701399399006208?t=aIWk0r-UKTcIGMrDGbQ7wQ&s=19 like yeah literally same https://twitter.com/born_tobe_navy/status/1677695424755552256?t=NNkF4mWg8VDxRnd_75QGfg&s=19

And Baekhyun's debut anniversary! Love the timing <3

Shinee won their 69th trophy with a song called Hard, you can't make this shit up! And now there's a pearl aqua donut??? Losing it lmao, it looks good tho! Everyone say thank you Choi Minho for doing the most! https://twitter.com/taepudina/status/1677351550107230208?t=kLyd8EJELo_GDOuXQAuxtw&s=19 Btw I successfully indoctrinated two people into loving Shinee's album 💎 Like I said ALBUM OF THE YEAR, there's a song for everyone

Nvm Jamal isn't playing a murderer, but a guy who predicts death? Anyways the movie is based on a novel, so I'm intrigued. I think he could pull of American Psycho type of role 👀 actually both him and Yuta should play villains together, lol, I see the vision

Did you see the bullshit about Hybe staff groping fans at fan signs?! Between this and the continuous MHJ shit I'm so tired... and I'm tired of people being so performative. I saw a tweet about NWJS that said "okay, but you can't lie this song slaps" I'll never understand it, people are outraged, want to boycott then lose their morals because a song is good???

https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1677170641957711872?t=KbsCmVYU8q42wIBa50vxlg&s=19 <- listen he even showed his grippers again, what else does he have to do to get the YSL invite?! Tbh I've been thinking whether he's so rich and dedicated or perhaps they've already sent him something, but I'm assuming he'd brag about it? Anyways, THIS FUCKING LOOK OH MY GOOOOOD HOW CAN A HUMAN BE SO GORGEOUS?!?!?

NOW that's what I like to see, he deserves his flowers https://twitter.com/helytes/status/1676922167601012738?t=naqaFlgxqnqiDIZyH79H2w&s=19

I can't with the Neymar defenders, because I suddenly saw some more idiotic takes from his simps? Girlies, he won't fuck you, stop being pick mes, have some standards!

King the Land is so ajshhshahdhahgskxkfjs I loooooove them together, I need Yoona and Junho to act together more! Whether there's something going on between them or not, I need MOOOOOORE. WDH CEO okay, honestly I just need him in a classic rom com drama like KTL 😭

In our delulu era, no but imagine our lives, you living next to Mark, going to school together perhaps and me studying with Ten being art hoes 😆

Btw I saw your answer about Ateez's songs and I'll always be seated for Treasure appreciation! Also Fever ❤❤❤❤ no but seriously, Treasure supremacy!

Okay this??? I'm not one to spread weird theories, but it's SM so I'll always assume the worst. Not this executive mf engaging with all posts except the ones featuring their two Japanese idols. If it's a coincidence then it's a reaaaaaally big one... they're gonna debut a JPN unit, because they wanna milk Japanese fans, but they couldn't care less https://twitter.com/yuta_smile127/status/1678070721430396934?t=OKt-Ch-VmqkRGsPGz4sC9w&s=19 same with China and Chinese-speaking idols

Alright?! Work, she should've been on the OST https://twitter.com/somihourly/status/1676808902166585344?t=0kO3r8k2SiMjYYV5y01pQA&s=19

Ehhhh, not Atz getting on the curry song board too :/ the grip that awful song has on the Korean population is colossal. I've never heard of it until someone sang it at A KARAOKE in Korea a few years ago. Initially I didn't know it was that bad, but my friend told me to pay attention to the lyrics, she also said the singer apologised for mocking South Asian culture. I even heard it recently too... I have no doubts many Koreans know it's offensive they just dgaf, they're sensitive about their own heritage only, but many see it as a "funny meme track about food". I had a talk with one Korean girl literally a month ago, and she was shocked, cause she never thought about the lyrics being insulting. Yeah, technically there aren't any "bad words" per se, but still it's full of stereotypes :(. I'm glad Atinys took it seriously, except Ktinys, fuck them, they always have the worst takes abd reactions. However, even though it's not my place to speak on it, I hope the members themselves will be allowed to apologise... KQ releasing a statement so quickly is a decent move (it was very vague), but it'd be great if the members apologised personally. It's an awkward situation considering San's birthday

And I just wanted to say that I understand why you're feeling apprehensive about posting after a long time, no pressure, but I know many people would love it and since it's finished your hard work should be seen and appreciated! <333 - DV 💖

hello!!!

Baek at this point tumblr did me dirty so many times I type my response in the notes app first ahdhshsbhshagsgsamdfk. Anyways, Ateez came to Taiwan the day before I left? I forgot they were even coming.... Jet leg is a biiiiitch, lemme tell you, also it's so hot, I'm melting <3

NO BC IM DONE W THIS APP we didn’t get the community label last post ✊🏻 ur missed them like 5 times atp anon 😭😭😭 NO UR RIGHT WHY HAS IT BEEN SO HOT RECENTLY, LIKE JUST STRAIGHT HEAT COMING OUT THE BODY 😭😭

By the time you answer me EXO would have already made their comeback, so 👀👀👀 all I'm gonna say now is I loved Baek in his little pink fur jacket 😭 I also loved the eyeliner/smokey eyes make up and Xiumin's fit! Honestly, this is a crime :/ https://twitter.com/chanbaektwts/status/1677701399399006208?t=aIWk0r-UKTcIGMrDGbQ7wQ&s=19 like yeah literally same https://twitter.com/born_tobe_navy/status/1677695424755552256?t=NNkF4mWg8VDxRnd_75QGfg&s=19 /// And Baekhyun's debut anniversary! Love the timing <3

IM ANSWERING BEFORE RHE CB IS IN A FEW HOURS AND IM CRYING FOR THE NEW ERA ANOTHER MILLION SELLERS (CRYING THE FIRST DAY SALES JUMPING TO A MILLION) THEY STILL GOT IT WE ARE SO BACK 😭😭😭 FUCK SM 😭😭not them doing the love shot concept without the main cunt 😭😭😭 FUCK RAVI FUCK HIM !!!!! baekhyun in that eyeliner, he starts acting different stop that pink fluffy jacket w that heavy eyeliner i gagged so much when i saw it + him in that tuxedo suddenly made me into a delulu <33 AAAAAAAA THAT KAI SCREAM IS ME AT LEAST HE’S ON THE ALBUM AND THE PHOTOS BUT THE MV 😭😭😭 fuck ravi omg XIUMIN HAS NOT AGED ONE BIT,,, baeks debut anniversary and he’s a 9time million seller today 😭😭 he’s come so far from un village to BAMBI BAAAAMBIIIIEAAAH

and wtf u mean he’s naked 😀

I AM CRYING 😭😭😭 ALSO CRYING WATCHING THEM IN ONE ROOM FOR THEIR LIVE CRYINGyeah we are done for he performed in that pink jacket what they do to his hair 😭 looks like a mad scientist

saw a twt saying they got the super junior ass set why is that so true 😭😭

CRYINF THEY ARE DOING THE HIGHLIGHT REEL BAEKHYUN IS GASSING UP THE SONGS WITH HIS HIGH NOTES “it wasn’t hard for me” mf we know u glee ass 😭😭😭 r&b pop 😭😭😭🫡🫡 regret it is very old skool anon we won

will do a small review from what i hear so far w my sleepy brain : regret it is very old skool <3 VERY 90’S

private party crying the harmonies this is so fun OH THIS IS SO FUN OH OH OH FHAKHDKADHSK that’s my shawty oh 😭

cinderella LA LA LA THE BASS FUCKING HELL FHWKDHWK THE FALSETTOS THE SYNTH POP

no makeup OHHHH THIS IS ABOUT FUCKING OUUU THIS IS SO GOOD ANON THIS ONE THIS ONE !!!!!! PHEWWWW ANON THIS ONE !!!! trap + r&b crying sexy melody 😭😭 this is like they stole this from kai and baek’s discography,, this def my fav like comeon,, the bass in this song is so low omg…..oh they did acapella oh my god

love fool OH THIS IS SOO BANTERY AYOO??? feels like in a kdrama when there’s a montage of falling in love w the etl trope,, THE BEAT DROP!!! R&B I LOVE U SM, listening to this rn in the morning OH ANON OH ANOKNNNNNNNNNNNN THE BEAT DROP IS DROPPING IM CRYING

another day OH THIS IS SO FUN THIS BEAT IS BEATING LIKE SUMMER 808 BASS 😩😩😩

the let me in live vocals 😭😭 okay my glee group

THE TITLE OH WE ARE BEING FED OUUU THIS IS SO EXO IM CRYING THEY REALLY ARE FIGHTING EACH OTHER WITH VOCALS FBWKDHAK THIS IS SO POPPY WITH DRUMS JCJCJCkJK THE JAW IS ON THE FLOOR THE CHOREO GONNA BE SO GOOD KAI WAS SINGING THE SHIT OUT OF IT FUCK RAVI FUCK RAVI (have not listened to the whole album yet gonna have it ready for the next ask!)

i just listened to it whole,,, AINT no way anyone will be covering this song with the falsettos and the high notes like the whole chorus is high notes??? gate keep it.

and kai. fuck ravi. he has the best line too HE WAS GONNA DO THE MMMH MMMH GOD 😭😭😭😭 CAN NEVER BE HAPPY AND IT BE UR OWN PPL TOO FBKWDHWKDHKW he carried that first half,,,,, anyway there’s a random lady in the video and the cream soda is all over the car is this imagery of something LMFAOOO,,, i need to listen to this a few times to get the proper gist of it wholly will so when im awake 🫡 pls listen to the title on Spotify w bass bc i am LOOSING IT

Shinee won their 69th trophy with a song called Hard, you can't make this shit up! And now there's a pearl aqua donut??? Losing it lmao, it looks good tho! Everyone say thank you Choi Minho for doing the most! https://twitter.com/taepudina/status/1677351550107230208?t=kLyd8EJELo_GDOuXQAuxtw&s=19 Btw I successfully indoctrinated two people into loving Shinee's album 💎 Like I said ALBUM OF THE YEAR, there's a song for everyone

NO BC THIS IS SOME WITCHCRAFT THEM WINNING THEIR 69TH WIN WITH 6666 PTS PLS DBWMDHWKDJWK screaming minho’s doing what sm should’ve been doing w the promo,,, LESSSGOOOOOO THIS IS RLY THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR HARD RLY IS HARDING 😭😭😭😭

Nvm Jamal isn't playing a murderer, but a guy who predicts death? Anyways the movie is based on a novel, so I'm intrigued. I think he could pull of American Psycho type of role 👀 actually both him and Yuta should play villains together, lol, I see the vision

so mf a astrologist??? tarot reader 😭😭 LMFAOOO pls i love this name so much fbwndbwk BASED ON A NOVEL??? jamal in his christian bale era omf,,, YUTA WOULD SLAY AMERICAN PSYCHO OR SCARFACE OOOOUUUU WITH HIS MULLET ESP ty being the god father would unalive me actually

Did you see the bullshit about Hybe staff groping fans at fan signs?! Between this and the continuous MHJ shit I'm so tired... and I'm tired of people being so performative. I saw a tweet about NWJS that said "okay, but you can't lie this song slaps" I'll never understand it, people are outraged, want to boycott then lose their morals because a song is good???

girl i just did and i am so speechless 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ their apologizing specifically mentioning the guards being women like what difference does that make??? like it still happened regardless,,, no that last part is so 100% correct, just when u think kpop can’t drop lower it just does every second??

https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1677170641957711872?t=KbsCmVYU8q42wIBa50vxlg&s=19 <- listen he even showed his grippers again, what else does he have to do to get the YSL invite?! Tbh I've been thinking whether he's so rich and dedicated or perhaps they've already sent him something, but I'm assuming he'd brag about it? Anyways, THIS FUCKING LOOK OH MY GOOOOOD HOW CAN A HUMAN BE SO GORGEOUS?!?!?

seonghwa’s obsession is ysl atp,, convinced he’s somehow read the model fic 🤚🏻 he’s a oomf iM GONNA SAY he’s rich and dedicated bc if ysl did send him stuff he would’ve gotten an invite to the ysl makeup launch and what not 🤨 i love how his photos are either ysl whatsapp mom core or just a frat boy THE GRIPPERS HE’S SO DEDICATED BUT THOSE SHOES ARE NOT IT 😭😭😭😭 ANYTHING PUT THISE THONG LOOKING SANDALS 😭

NOW that's what I like to see, he deserves his flowers https://twitter.com/helytes/status/1676922167601012738?t=naqaFlgxqnqiDIZyH79H2w&s=19 //// I can't with the Neymar defenders, because I suddenly saw some more idiotic takes from his simps? Girlies, he won't fuck you, stop being pick mes, have some standards!

he gets his due AS HE SHOULD !!!! no cause i have his name and his shit filtered out <33 so glad i do not see it unless it’s a rumour of him going back to barca then i flip,,, NO LITERALLY HIS DEFENDERS HAVE ME CRYING CAUSE EVEN IF HE GETS W U??? HE’S STILL GONNA CHEAT????? WHAT ARE U GONNA DO THEN 😭😭😭

i just went on twt and saw this accidentally and my heart dropped to my ass down to my legs i thought it was the other suarez oH MY GOD

King the Land is so ajshhshahdhahgskxkfjs I loooooove them together, I need Yoona and Junho to act together more! Whether there's something going on between them or not, I need MOOOOOORE. WDH CEO okay, honestly I just need him in a classic rom com drama like KTL 😭

i love that show so much, something so warm and nostalgic about it!!! THEY RLY NEED TO THEIR CHEMISTRY IS SO FIRE saw so many videos of them together and this mf is not sieving his own dating rumour, he’s whipped i know they dating,, now we need that marriage news LIKE THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER EVEN IN THE DRAMA??? SPARKS FLYING and him in that pink apron cutting onions CRYING THWKDHWKD

WDH AS A CEO in a classic romcom and it’s a fake dating??? fake marriage??? ceo x intern??? ANYTHING ATP IM TIRED OF HIM SUFFERING PLS 😭😭

In our delulu era, no but imagine our lives, you living next to Mark, going to school together perhaps and me studying with Ten being art hoes 😆 /// Btw I saw your answer about Ateez's songs and I'll always be seated for Treasure appreciation! Also Fever ❤❤❤❤ no but seriously, Treasure supremacy!

no bc seeing them just at ur uni walking past knowing these guys could’ve been in nct,,, NO CAUSE GOTTA BE BESTIES W HIM FROM ATT CLASS truly what a wild life it would’ve been,,, EXACTLY FEVER TREASURE SUPREMACY!!!! BRING BACK FUN!!! saw this post that said why everyone liked 2nd gen + new new 3rd gen bc everyone from nugu’s to most famous released crazy good music,, need that era back so bad

Okay this??? I'm not one to spread weird theories, but it's SM so I'll always assume the worst. Not this executive mf engaging with all posts except the ones featuring their two Japanese idols. If it's a coincidence then it's a reaaaaaally big one... they're gonna debut a JPN unit, because they wanna milk Japanese fans, but they couldn't care less https://twitter.com/yuta_smile127/status/1678070721430396934?t=OKt-Ch-VmqkRGsPGz4sC9w&s=19 same with China and Chinese-speaking idols

wait omg??? that’s so,,, atp any conspiracy regarding sm i be believing cause fuck them

Alright?! Work, she should've been on the OST https://twitter.com/somihourly/status/1676808902166585344?t=0kO3r8k2SiMjYYV5y01pQA&s=19

THIS PROMO FOR BARBIE IS SO CRAZY LIKE EVERYTHING FEELS SO UNREAL

Ehhhh, not Atz getting on the curry song board too :/ the grip that awful song has on the Korean population is colossal. I've never heard of it until someone sang it at A KARAOKE in Korea a few years ago. Initially I didn't know it was that bad, but my friend told me to pay attention to the lyrics, she also said the singer apologised for mocking South Asian culture. I even heard it recently too... I have no doubts many Koreans know it's offensive they just dgaf, they're sensitive about their own heritage only, but many see it as a "funny meme track about food". I had a talk with one Korean girl literally a month ago, and she was shocked, cause she never thought about the lyrics being insulting. Yeah, technically there aren't any "bad words" per se, but still it's full of stereotypes :(. I'm glad Atinys took it seriously, except Ktinys, fuck them, they always have the worst takes abd reactions. However, even though it's not my place to speak on it, I hope the members themselves will be allowed to apologise... KQ releasing a statement so quickly is a decent move (it was very vague), but it'd be great if the members apologised personally. It's an awkward situation considering San's birthday

the ones in question being yunsanhwa i don’t even know what to say… speechless 😀 why is that like a muscle memory for idols 😭😭 yeosang giving him the side he telling him to read the room,,, then not realizing it’s stereotypically racist like if the roles were reversed imagine the outrage,,, tired 3000 <3 read the lyrics to it and the way they make fun of india when half their lineage comes from there is very hilarious to me actually

they posted the apology on the kq account when the atz one existed, would’ve liked one from the members itself but i don’t think we’ll even get that ever,,, ktinys can fuck off if the roles were reversed they’d be reacting to it on pannchoa going offf about it

And I just wanted to say that I understand why you're feeling apprehensive about posting after a long time, no pressure, but I know many people would love it and since it's finished your hard work should be seen and appreciated! <333 - DV 💖

I WILL TRY MY VERY BEST KING THE LAND IS DOIKG THINGS TO ME AND ITS BEEN WORKING WELL

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING KYUNGSOO HAS INSTAGRAM ???? we are about to see so much of his forehead i cannot wait

oh this needs to happen

the gasp i gusped

IM CRYING ANON IF THIS HAPPENS WE CAN GET THEM IN LONDONF BWKDHWKD

AND INFINITE COMING BACKKKKK

[thebandcampdiaries]

Moon and Aries is back with a brand new EP: “Break The Matrix (Episode Three)”

February 2023 - Somewhere in between the energy of rock and the melodic elements of pop, there lies a distinctive sonic formula that stands out as the backbone of Moon and Aries’s sound. This talented duo consists of Jordana Moon and Tom Aries, who joined forces to share stories, melodies and feelings with people everywhere. To them, music seems to be all about creating innovative and fun soundscapes, which set the bar higher in terms of trying different ideas and blending various influences in order to create music that feels utterly personal and dynamic.

Recently, Moon and Aries wrapped up a new project named "Break The Matrix (Episode Three)". This release is the perfect calling card for the artist, and it is a great display of passion, focus and excellent at the core of their sound and vision. This EP features 3 original songs. The first track is titled “Illumination Society,” and it immediately serves as a perfect introduction. The song has a really immersive and hypnotic bass, with a nice watery keyboard pattern locking in perfectly with an electronic beat. The vocals are very far reaching and emotive, with amazing harmonized layers, especially in the choruses. The second song on this EP is titled “Never For Me.” This track happens to be one of the highlights on the EP, especially because of how it builds dynamics in a very unique way. Initially, it goes for a really powerful and focused tone, while also focusing on lyrics that are very enticing and easy to relate to on a deeper level.

Last, but most definitely not least, the last track on this release is titled “From Another Dimension.” This song offers a magnificent synth arpeggio pattern in the intro, which tips the hat to 80s electronic pop, while still retaining a refreshingly modern attitude. The melodies are gripping and catchy, but the dense layers makes the song really refreshing and easy to relate to in many ways. 

Overall, ”Break The Matrix (Episode Three)" is highly recommended to fans of artists as diverse as Portishead, Dead Rituals, Alt J, Massive Attack, and Radiohead, only to mention a few. Much like these aforementioned icons, Moon and Aries’s foray into the indie pop and trip-hop genre is all about bringing so much personality to their vision, giving the audience a taste of something different, while still staying true to what makes this kind of music so special and unique. In addition to that, Moon and Aries offers the “added bonus” of providing some vivid narrative, igniting their songwriting with some amazing storytelling value, something that isn’t always easy to do and is often overlooked! What makes this talented pair so refreshing is the fact that the two musicians seem to be always ready to take on new creative challenges; continually exploring and coming up with ways to make their songs more unique and create music that truly stands out. 

With "Break The Matrix (Episode Three)", Moon and Aries shows that their creativity continues to expand their sonic boundaries, while still providing sounds that are inherently catchy and easy to relate to for their audience. In short, the two music makers are never too self-indulgent when it comes to creativity, meaning that they aren’t the kind of artists that get lost in overly complicated musical experiments and elaborate tones just for the sake of it. There is a purpose behind every note, and the mesmerizing textures that result are utterly inspiring and deeply cinematic.

"Break The Matrix (Episode Three)" is indeed a really good example of a beautiful and deceptively intricate musical work with a very signature tone. It is a perfect opportunity to introduce new listeners to Moon and Aries’s vision and concept.

Find out more about Moon and Aries, and listen to "Break The Matrix (Episode Three)". This release is currently available on all of the major digital music streaming services.

https://open.spotify.com/album/7kXEnsEXmP7ghYGvEgbPG1?si=IHT3sVRtQ2SmWVBxEUcFUw

https://www.youtube.com/@moonandaries1196

https://soundcloud.com/moonandaries

We also had a chance to catch up wht Moon and Aries for a very special interview. Keep reading for more!

I love how you manage to render your tracks so personal and organic. Does the melody come first?

Answer:

Hi, it's Jordana Moon here, and thanks so much for taking the time to get to know us better!  And thank you for the words "Personal and Organic." So the way our songs and concept albums come about, are months and months of our typical conversations. Even in the conversations, tho, lyrics come up… feelings and emotions about the concept. And after flushing out the idea of a song, causally, for anywhere between 3 to 9 months, Tom gets a dose of divine inspiration to compose a melody based on the essence of our discussion, and then the lyrics / vocal line follow from that.

Do you perform live? If so, do you feel more comfortable on a stage or within the walls of the recording studio?

Answer:

Tom and I have performed live many times! Just not together lol Yet. He's been in Germany this whole time, while I'm in Canada! I'm very used to singing live and will always feel a little more at home on stage then in the studio. But I am definitely feeling more confident after 23 + studio released songs. It's a different way of singing and I've had to learn and adapt, but it's made me a much stronger vocalist in the end, and then of course, a much stronger stage performer.

If you could only pick one song to make a “first impression,” which would it be and why?

Answer:

Illumination Society. It's a current song of ours, just released on Feb 9th, but it's such a great mix of our philosophy, our sound and vibe. It's like the epitome of our "signature move." 

What does it take to be “innovative” in music? 

Answer:

Being authentic. When we are deep in our truth, our artistic expression and creativity, we will automatically be unique and cutting edge. It's when we give in to trends and fears of being outside the box, is when we start to lose our ability to bring forth something totally different, interesting and experimental.

Do you have any upcoming release or tour coming up?

Answer:

We will be re-releasing all 3 Episodes of “Break The Matrix” in April as a full concept album! And we have a lot of music we're recording at this moment that will be coming out in the near future as well! Tour, yes please 🙏 another thing we are working on. To Be Announced!

What is the best way for fans to connect with you online?

Answer:

I'd say Instagram first ! Then our Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Tik Tok, all under the name Moon and Aries (music). We also have a great website Tom created that you can easily find when you type into Google "Moon and Aries music. " You want to add in "music " for now, unless you want a horoscope reading 😅

Thanks again for taking the time to chat with Moon and Aries.

[jezfletcher]

1000 Albums 2022: Albums #25-16

I'm a bit late in writing up my Top Albums this year, but it being the first day of 2023, I thought it's probably a good time to look back on the year that was in music, and start writing up my top albums. As has been the case since 2016 (wow, 7 years of this now), Sam and I have listened to over 1000 albums this year, and I've distilled the very best of 2022's music into just a top 25. For the stats-curious: we hit 1032 albums in total this year, of which 938 were actually released in 2022 (that's 91% brand new music). That added up to over 11,000 individual tracks, and almost 717 hours of unique music (that's about an entire month listening 24 hours a day). My Spotify Wrapped said I listened for more than twice this when you take into account relistening and so-on—so it's undoubtedly a big undertaking. In addition to our 2022 albums, we listened to 2 "throwback" albums from previous years each week, and managed complete retrospectives of four different artists' work. This year, the lucky artists were Van Dyke Parks (including the various albums for other artists that he produced and arranged for), Buffy Sainte-Marie, Tracy Chapman, and Blur. Of these, the absolute standout was Buffy Sainte-Marie, who was a revelation to me. For two sides of a fascinating artist, check out My Country Tis Of Thy People You're Dying, one of the best bist of protest folk I've ever heard, or the psychedelic folk rock of Sweet September Morning. Amazing stuff. Anyway, we're not really here to talk about that, but I can't resist putting a little call-out for Buffy. We're here to count down my Top Albums of 2022. I've gone fom 25 to 16 in this post. Tomorrow, I'll count down 15-5, leaving the top 5 for a big reveal in a few days. But lets get started...

25. Bitch - Bitchcraft (experimental queer pop)

Bitchcraft by Bitch

Kicking off the writeups this year we have this pot-pourri of experimental and less-experimental queer electropop from self-styled poet-witch Bitch. It has all the anarchy of true punk, laced with screaming electronic hooks and a consistent use of Bitch's iconic violin. But she also turns in soulful, melodic ballads like Another Wound, which may be the best piece of music on the album. It all makes for a rich and varied experience, always with a very unique and personally engaging world view. As an iconic song from the album though, which represents all the wonderful genre-smashing, I can't go past "Hello Meadow!". You'll like it if you want: Lindsey Stirling, only weirder, and queer rather than fundamentalist Christian.

24. Lack the Low - God-Carrier (avant-pop)

God-Carrier by Lack The Low

Björk had an excellent album this year; it ended up #34, so just missing out on a write-up. But instead we have Lack the Low, an Australian artist who obviously owes some inspiration to the darker parts of Björk's oeuvre. I heard the excellent The Sharpest Knife playing one Saturday morning on our local community radio station, and it immediately thrust God-Carrier on to my listen-list for the following week. She does wonderfully atmospheric electro-prog with a sense of build to her tracks that drives towards an often ecstatic, cathartic finish. While The Sharpest Knife was my introduction, I think the best track is the opener, Rushlight. You'll like it if you want: independent Aussie artists taking barbershop in strange new directions.

23. Kae Tempest - The Line Is A Curve (spoken-word poetry)

kaetempest · Priority Boredom

One of our finest modern poets, Kae Tempest brought back the punch of their spoken-word outings like Let Them Eat Chaos and Everybody Down, leaving behind what I found more introspective and downbeat in their previous 2019 album. This pushes Tempest back into the upper echelons of the year with The Line Is a Curve, another collab between Tempest's gripping delivery with Dan Carey's electronic production—together they provide one of the most potent electronic albums of the year, while Tempest proves once again why they are lyrically such a powerhouse. Hard to single out a track to represent the whole album—its potency comes from the accumulation of the whole—but I've shared here Priority Boredom which I feel is a fabulous entry to the album. You'll like it if you like: contemporary spoken-word poetry or modern electronica. You'll love it if you like: both of the above.

22. Murder By Death - Spell/Bound (gothic country)

Spell/Bound by Murder By Death

Atmospheric indie rock by way of That Haunted Gorge Where All Those Cowboys All Mysteriously Disappeared Exactly 10 Years Ago Tonight, Murder By Death provide a wonderfully dark take on modern Americana. This is all about creating a mood with their sophisticated rock, lashed with country elements. It's music for driving at night through West Texas, or for that hipster bar in Asheville that hasn't quite shaken off its bluegrass roots entirely. This is an album I could absolutely listen to end-to-end and consider it a singular experience. It's hard to single out something again—this is about the whole journey, not the sights along the way—but I'll go with Never Be which I think is possibly the most accessible, even if it's not that emblematic of the whole album. You'll like it if you like: country, but only kinda secretly.

21. Telenova - Stained Glass Love (indie pop)

Stained Glass Love by Telenova

Easily my highest-rated EP of the year, this 5-track outing gets a big boost from having a Track of the Week for the title track, and then following it up with another a few weeks later when we heard the full EP, this time for Silver Lining, which is a wonderfully melancholy bit of downtempo pop that shifts its way through various harmonic peculiarities. As always when this kind of jewel-studded EP appears, you fear that it's just the precursor to a bigger debut album which will seem less novel when it's just "this EP stretched out to 45m long". But presuming that this is a stand-alone, it's a great one. I've highlighted the title track here, but you can spare the 21m to listen to the whole thing. You'll like it if you like: anything of modern indie pop, or 90s downtempo

20. Mice Parade - lapopọ (post shoegaze)

lapapọ by Mice Parade

I came across Mice Parade for the first time at the 2008 Sydney Festival, where I completely eschewed their show, but was waiting outside the Spiegeltent waiting a different performance while they were on inside. I was rapt by their fascinating blend of dreamy shoegaze and complex polyrhythms, even if the sound was muted by the canvas between me and them. Fortunately, since then, while I've not managed to catch them live, I've fallen in love with their albums, and their latest might be their best. It has the same hypnotic drawl of Adam Pierce's vocals (an anagram of "Mice Parade", you'll note), with fluid motivic guitar riffs and multi-layered drum-patterns. This is an album that builds up over time, but I have to call out Eisa Dancers which starts with this ethereal riff (possibly on hammered dulcimer, or on a koto) and builds waves, wending in and out of the dream-like otherworldiness. You'll like it if you like: a novel take on jangly indie rock.

19. Keston Cobblers Club - Alchemy (twee folk)

I've recently very much become attached to the music reviews site At The Barrier, which does a great job of unearthing music that I find nowhere else—they also have a particular focus on various kinds of folk, and this is one of those albums this year which comes solely from ATB. It's an eclectic album, jumping between variations of folk pop, switching out singers and showing off their multi-instrumental prowess. I could call out quite a few song here—Jupiter has a wonderful expansive space-folk sound (is that a thing? it should be), Rigmarole brings in tuba and accordion for a kind of indie-trad sound, Tarantula has a musical theatricality to it to bring the album home. I might just go with one of the early tracks Find My Way, which sits a little more in the centre of everything. You'll like it if: you're not afraid of a bit of a trad folk sound, but still enjoy pop songwriting.

18. Frank Turner - FTHC (alt punk)

Frank Turner is a little hard to classify, because he definitely comes from a punk background, but now turns to a kind of raucous singalong pub rock—he can also pull together a genuinely excellent bit of pop like his satirical Make America Great Again from 2018. Here, he's in more of a heavier, angrier, shoutier style for the most part, even when he sticks with pop tropes like in Haven't Been Doing So Well, or the show-ending Farewell To My City. The standout track for me here though is the wonderful Miranda, a story about reconciling with his father after she came out as trans. You'll like it if you like: hard indie rock, or punk with a soft heart.

17. bis - Systems Music for Home Defence (electropunk)

Systems Music For Home Defence by bis

A great collection of eclectic, shouty electropop that takes the kind of 80s sound back to its post-punk root, and is willing to have fun along with way. I love music that doesn't take itself too seriously (my common refrain is that you should be able to tell that the band is having fun), and this has this feeling all over it. Bis has only released about an album every 5 years or so since 2000, although they've been around since the mid-90s (and broken up then reformed at least once), and you can feel like they're pretty happy just doing what they want—nothing is forced in this album. They've got nothing to prove, and they can do the things that work for them. My pick here is the opening track Lucky Night, which has a pointed satire to it, as well as a super-catchy indie pop sound. You'll like it if you like: 00s electropunk, after big beat went off in a weird direction.

16. Death's Dynamic Shroud - Darklife (slushwave)

Darklife by death's dynamic shroud

This is a bit of a monster, both in terms of its length, and its aggressive, spiky electronica. It takes some of the massive symphonic sound of someone like Roly Porter, but adds synthpop elements, along with the kind of knowing deconstruction of hyperpop. I relistened to this on a drive between Sydney and Canberra and I realised that I'd probably massively underrated it earlier in the year (even though it won my Album of the Week the week it was released). But it's an album that you really need to experience in its entirety to get its full impact. That being said, there's a nice sample of the whole in the epic, progressive Messe de E-102, which gets my nod here. You'll like it if you like: Wagner

[imthebadguyyy]

maybe something like interviewer asking her sexist questions and the boys stand up for her , after that interview she feels insecure and the boys comfort her . that's just an idea you don't have to write it !! <33

I hope you like it, and I'm so sorry about the delay 😭 I couldn't find my footing with this one, and I hope it's what you wanted ! Have a lovely day 💙

The One Where They're There For Her

Pairing - One Direction x Reader (6thmember!female!reader)

Fandom - One Direction (Directioners)

Summary - A particularly sexist interview decides to reduce you to just a sexual being and makes no effort to hide his misogyny. But the boys are there to support you.

Warnings - sexualization of the lgbt community, sexist comments, swearing, (honestly I hated myself for writing some of the comments here,and I'm so sorry)

Being a part of the biggest band in the world comes with certain responsibilities. Not responsibilities that come along with signing a recording contract, but those that a person deems themselves responsible for. For example, as the only female in a boyband, a female with a fanbase as large as yours, you took it upon yourself to always stand up for what's right, and to be an ally for the causes close to your heart.

That meant that your social media was often flooded with information about important causes, or your opinions on issues like feminism. Was it always well received? Heck no. There were people filled your feed with hate and comments calling you the most horrible names and labelling you a 'man hater' and a 'bitch' But you didn't let it get to you. On most days. On days like today, it was all you could do to keep it together. It had been a tiring few days, touring, recording, performing and doing an endless amount of interviews and photoshoots. It was safe to say you were on the last of your nerves, having battled your way through a makeup artist who had insisted on pointing out your flaws and had used a shit ton of makeup to cover them up. You had battled a photographer who had not hesitated to tell you that if you didn't look more feminine people would think you were turning into a man.

Before you could retaliate, Paul had dragged him away and told management to cancel the photoshoot, and find another photographer before grabbing the six of you some sandwiches and had let you all go back for a quick power nap at the hotel. Then in about half an hour he had woken you up, to get you ready for another interview. That's how you were here, in a white jumpsuit and a black blazer jacket, paired with black heels. Another day, another interviewer that got on your nerves. But this one, this one was different. This interviewer was different, but also the same. Another misogynistic man who thought he was entitled to stare at your ass and cleavage, and eye fuck you as you settled into a seat in between Niall and Zayn.

Settling in, you crossed one knee over the other, plastering a fake smile onto your face, as the man leaned back in his chair, throwing you a sleazy smirk. Noticing the look, Zayn shifted so you were out of view of the interviewer, but in view of the audience. It was in moments like this that you were a 100× more grateful to have your boys. They were well aware of how sleazy some interviewers could be, having had plenty of experience with them, and Zayn and Louis in particular were very protective about the way you were treated. Squeezing your thigh softly, he leaned back a little, lips settling into a thin line as he looked at the interviewer with a cold look. A little behind, Louis threw the interviewer a dirty look.

"So, One Direction! Congratulations on the album, as you all know its out on November the 22nd, with eighteen new songs, including the singles Night Changes and Steal My Girl Speaking of stealing girls, do you think I could steal your number Y/N? And may I mention, you look ver, very hot in that outfit" The interviewer joked, throwing you what he thought was a sexy smirk. (P.S - it wasn't) Answering with an awkward laugh, you shook your head, as Niall tensed up beside you. "Aww come on, your'e a pretty girl, I'm a handsome guy, let's go out sometime" he pressed on, ignoring the growing anger in Harry's eyes. "That's umm, nice. But no thanks, I'm not going to go out with you" was your answer, as you pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. Picking up on your nervous tic, Zayn moved his hand to rest on your knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down.

"Aww come on baby, what is it? You like girls or something? Because I wouldn't mind being a part of that action either" the sleazebag chuckled, ignoring the disgusted look Liam sent his way. "That's rude" Liam said, while Zayn tightened his grip on your knee. "Oh come on lads, are you telling me the idea doesn't appeal to you? Two women together, mm, makes me all excited just thinking about it, especially if one of them's Y/N" That comment was all it took for Louis to stand up, turning to the man and saying in a voice much rougher than his usual voice, "Alright, that's fuckin' enough, what the fuck is actually wrong with you?" he was backed up by Liam, who stood up, going to tower over the interviewer, whose eyes had lost some of the sleazy look in them. "All you've done since we walked in here is make those disgusting comments about Y/N, and it's sickening. Have some fucking respect" he practically spat.

Behind him, Zayn took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet, noticing the slight glossiness in them, leading you back to the dressing rooms, while Niall, Liam, Louis and Harry stayed back to continue to snap at the interviewer. "That is no way to treat a woman, and not only are you disrespecting her, you also made those god awful events about seeing women together. Your'e a shame to every single person in this room by talking like that" Harry continued, glancing over his shoulder to check if you were okay.

"And no, it doesn't excite us, because we are not assholes, and you are, a disgusting sleaze who does not deserve the job he has. Fuckin loser" Niall chimed in, standing up and storming out. Louis stood up as well, turning to directly face the cameras and the cameramen and sound technicians, who had all looked shocked when the man had made his comments towards you. "I sure as hell hope you have that on record, so you can see just how fucking sexist this industry is to women. Y/N does the same job as us, works just as hard and has the same number of awards, nominations, and records and yet you decide to only focus on her body, clothes, love life and sexuality. Get a fucking life" he spat at the camera, before walking away himself, eventually followed by Harry and Liam, who apologized to the outraged fans before leaving themselves. As they made their way to the dressing rooms they could hear the audience telling the interviewer to apologize to you, their anger at the way you were treated echoing through the building.

Walking in, Harry caught sigh of you curled up in one of the armchairs, with Louis sitting beside you, while Niall and Zayn talked to a furious Paul. "He had no damn right to treat her like shite, and you need to make sure that he knows those comments were un-fuckin-acceptable" Niall was saying, looking angrier than Harry had ever seen him. "And to make those sickening comments about wanting to get action? Can't we sue him for something?" Was Zayn's reply, glancing over his shoulder at you to make sure you were still okay. "We can't sue him, atleast I don't think we can, but I'll have someone let the smug bastard know that he needs to learn how to respect a woman" Paul said, before leaving the room to give the six of you some time together before you had to head back to the hotel.

"How're you feeling darling?" Louis said, moving over and patting your knee so you moved. "I'm okay" you mumbled back, letting Louis settle in next to you, leaning back to rest on his chest. "He had no fuckin right to say any of that, and don't you let it trouble you for a second" Zayn added, pouring out a cup of tea for you and for Louis and Harry. "I don't care about what he said, I couldn't care less, but it was just so frustrating, sitting there and listening to him just sexualize a whole community of people. You've got to be in a really sad place to think of shit like that. That's what annoyed me. You think I give a damn about what he said about my clothes or wanting to take me out on a date? It was the way he was talking, like he was sure any woman would be glad to have him that irked me. He's really tiresome" was your reply, as you reached forward for a sip of your tea. "That's the right attitude love. Haters gonna hate" Harry said.

"I know that. But I just wish I could punch him once, which sounds mean, but he does kind of deserve it" Niall said, earning a laugh from you. Niall was never usually aggressive, and even now, he wasn't particularly rude but it was rare to see him wanting to punch someone. "It's okay Niall, you don't have to. I can do it myself, but I won't" you replied, leaning up to squeeze his hand. "Besides, Ni, if you went and punched him, I'd do it too, and then we'd all go to jail" Liam chimed in, scrolling through his twitter. "Twitter isn't happy either babe. #stopsexualization and #Y/Ndeservesbetter is trending already" he added, showing you his phone. "If it means some of these sexist asses get their heads out of the sand, I'm happy. But I dont want to to think about it now" you replied, cuddling closer to the warmth radiating from Louis's body.

"Okay, we won't talk about it. Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Harry asked, standing up and walking to the door "No I want to go to Nando's. Anybody else hungry?" You asked, to nods of assent from the boys. "I'm starving. Those stupid sandwiches didn't fill me up at all" Zayn said, standing up to grab his coat and wallet. "I know and I'm craving some hot Peri Peri chicken with some fries. Do you think they'd let me put the lemon and herb sauce on the fries?" You asked, standing up yourself, earning a laugh from Louis. "Your'e an international superstar babe, I think they'd give you some lemon herb sauce" Liam joked.

Laughing, the six of you made your way to the car, with Harry and Niall squishing you in between them, as Louis sat in the back with Liam, and Zayn sat in the front with Paul (he was driving thank GOD) "I'm proud of you darling" Harry chimed in suddenly. "I am too" Niall added. "You know I am" Louis said, before Liam added "Always babe" and Zayn turned to smile at you before adding, "We are all proud of you, and we always will be, not only because you do a damn good job of not listening to the haters, but because you do what you think is right" "Awh come on, your'e gonna make me cry" you mumbled, leaning into Niall's shoulder. "Almost makes me feel bad for teasing you about having an extremely low spice tolerance the last time we were at Nando's Haz" you smirked, earning a roar of laughter from the boys.

"That chicken was spicy love!" "It was lemon and herb with no peri peri!" "And it was spicy!"

And just like that, you were back to messing around with each other. Sleazy interviewers would come and go, but your boys were always there to support you. Always.

-------

A/N - Thanks for reading ! I'd also like to apologize on the behalf of this fictitious interviewer I made up, I felt so bad while writing some of this 😭 anyways, I hope this is what you wanted! Enjoy !

Tags - @zaynkissbot @gucci-hazza @bxtchboy69

[demonicheadcanons]

Obey Me Brothers + Little Affections

AN: Keep thinking about the little things each brother would do to express affection. Some warm fluffy stuff because we all need it. Enjoy!!

The hair drying one on Lucifer’s sparked this entire thing thanks

Lucifer

- Washing and drying your hair. You know if you get your hair washed at a hairdressers and they just. Go to town with a towel drying your hair? He finds it hilarious and loves doing that. You’ll hear him chuckle, unable to see him because your face is covered by the towel. He’s softer towards the end but initially when trying to get most of the excess water his only concern is not actually hurting you. He’s also genuinely trying to help, just having a little fun with it at the same time.

- Continuing on from this, Lucifer will ruffle your hair. If it doesn’t really upset you, he loves to make a mess of it, and he grins at you, your hair sticking out every which way.

- The second his brothers aren’t around, he seems to canonically love holding your hand under the guise of keeping track of you or comforting you. Its partially true - the MC gets into trouble easily, so its good to keep a hand on them. However, the comforting affect goes both ways.

- Sharing information with you implies a close bond (or at the very least, a strong curiosity, like when he hints at where Mammon’s card is / when he talks about the album) and it means Luci cares about you a lot. He likes to talk about his interests and introduce you to things he cares a lot about. A lot of the time this comes in the form of music, because it’s something he’s able to enjoy whilst still doing his work.

- Doing origami or other paper crafts together? Really relaxes him. It’s so peacefully intimate and cosy. You sit together at his desk, work documents hidden out of sight for now, and make whatever you can out of colourful little bits of paper. He likes making flowers, although he’d never say it out loud, but he makes you countless crowns with paper flowers of all different kinds. You walk in one day when he’s taking a break from work and he’s got paper cranes lining the entire length of his desk. He calls you over and puts one on your head for absolutely no reason before acting like it never happened.

- If no one else is around and he’s feeling a bit daft, he’ll sweep you up into his arms with no warning and just hold you like that, staring directly into your eyes with a daring and loving smile on his face. This happens most when it’s late at night and all the coffee he’s had is starting to wear off and he feels a little more relaxed and open. He’ll carry you to his room to cuddle, too, if you don’t have anywhere else you need to be. Just pray none of his brothers encounter you two because he’ll set you down on your feet immediately and he won’t help you up if you fall.

[[Other Brothers under the read more]]

Mammon

- Fist bumps!!! He passes you and holds his fist out, and pouts if you don’t immediately bump your hand into his. Do the snail or turkey thing once and he falls in love with it. Lucifer, tired and stressed after a lot of work, decides for once to go along with giving him a fist bump because he’s too tired and no one else is around, and Mammon does the snail thing. The look on Luci’s face is worth everything that happened after. But when its you, Mammon just smiles and beams at you. He’s really happy.

- Sitting so close together that you can’t possibly move without disturbing the other. Sides fully pressed together even if he doesn’t have an arm around you or your hand in his. He likes the constant contact, it’s healing. So heavily invested in whatever you’re watching that the two of you simply don’t realise how close you are until the episode ends and you realise you’re leaning your full weight against him and his face is red but he’s smiling so softly you can’t bring yourself to move.

- You’ll have to start the habit, but, tackle hugs. You see him in the distance somewhere and sprint over and tackle him full force. He’ll act mad at first, especially if he trips and falls over or he’d been talking with someone else, but he holds onto you tightly and his face is beautifully flushed. After a while he’ll do it too, although he’s a lot gentler, but if you hear him call your name you need to turn around quickly and hold your arms out. He’ll lift you up into the air and twirl you around once or twice before just, going on with his day as normal. You hear his laughter as he walks away, bright and bubbly and confident, exactly as he should be.

- The absence of insults is important for Mammon. He’ll tolerate it if it’s every now and then but he’ll really notice if you’re always kind to him, he pays attention and holds tightly on to every compliment you give him. When he feels low he finds you and holds you in his arms, fingers playing with the loops in your jeans, as he recites off every nice thing you’ve said to him, hoping you’ll reaffirm them. Did you mean it when you said he was one of the most caring people you’d ever met? When you said his eyes made you feel at home?

- He likes feeding the crows with you. It’s something he does without telling anyone, but one day he takes you out along with him and the crows take a liking to you instantly. He likes how you look with his crows standing proud and confident on your arm, your hair a mess from their flapping wings as you laugh and try to get the last bits of food out from the bag.

- If you style his hair and put random accessories in it - anything from silly plastic hair clips to flowers to feathers - he’ll keep them in all day. He doesn’t care who sees because his MC spent their time doing this for him, and he’s happy to tell anyone who dares criticise him.

Leviathan

- He’s awkward with any affection at first, but he actually builds up to quick tight hugs when he’s really happy. If he’s incredibly excited - just won tickets for something, or some idol liked his comments - expect to be tackled in a hug. He gets flustered after, but if you hold tightly onto him he won’t let go immediately.

- If they even vaguely relate to his own interests, Levi will try hard to be invested in anything you really enjoy. For example, he’ll watch your favourite shows with you or try and read things you enjoy, etc.

- At the same time, Levi will share his interests with you. It’s not something he can really avoid doing as it’s ingrained in him to ramble about his special interests, but it will come in seemingly smaller forms - for example, he’ll hand you his headphones one day, blushing, and ask what you think of this song, or he’ll show you a paragraph in a TSL book that has particularly good rhythm or evokes a lot of emotion. If he lends you his books or DVDs it’s practically a proposal.

- You two have full conversations with Henry as he swims about in his tank. About silly and pointless things or very serious topics, from jokingly scolding him to venting about the future and about school and such. It warms Levi’s heart.

- Horn pats. When he’s in his demon form, pull him down to your level and pat his horns. He’s so flustered he can’t move the first few times, but one day he’ll start coming up to you and asking you if you want to do it. He likes being able to be in his demon form, and likes that you’re comfortable with him even when he doesn’t look as human.

- When he’s very comfortable with you, he likes to wrap you up in surprise hugs and laughs if you try to squirm your way out of his grip, a brilliant mischievous glow in his eyes, any self-consciousness long forgotten.

Satan

- I’ve said this before on another post but Satan likes to pet your hair and run his thumbs over your palms, pressing into them gently like he’s touching the pads on the paws of a cat. He traces circles and presses kisses into your palm and over each finger tip and knuckle, like it’s his own form of worship.

- It takes a long time to build up the confidence to do so but I can see him like. Playfully nipping at your skin if he presses light kisses against your shoulders or neck. If it makes you laugh or blush he smiles against your skin.

- If you fall asleep somewhere he’s the first person to go get a blanket to throw over you - he’d rather just let you sleep if you’re somewhere safe instead of disturbing you to lift you elsewhere, and risking waking you up. Occasionally he’ll kneel down beside you and stay there with a book until you wake up, and he’s fallen asleep like that once or twice.

- Just. Talking. Laying down together and going from topic to topic, saying whatever crosses your minds with no filters and no judgement. Letting time pass by with the comfort of the other, laying on your back in the planetarium or library or in his room, wherever there aren’t books piled up. No responsibilities except to listen to the other, and every now and then you laugh and he feels like maybe this could be home.

Asmodeus

- Sharing things, whatever it is. Food, clothes, jewellery. Taking a necklace off and putting it on him because “this would go so well with your outfit,” or holding out your fork and telling him to try some of your food, it tastes heavenly. Perfume, as well, is a must - he wants the two of you to smell the same.

- Like Mammon, he likes to have some kind of contact with you at all time - holding hands, an arm across your shoulders, anything. But the main point of contact he truly adores is if he has his hands on the skin of your stomach or back, even in the most innocent way possible. If his arms are around you and you’re comfortable with it, he’ll tuck his hands under your shirt and trace shapes against your hips, stomach, back, lower ribcage. Wherever he can. It’s something he’ll do absentmindedly without everything thinking about it, and it recharges him when he’s low on energy.

- He actually really likes working alongside you, whether it’s school work or something related to a part time job, or a potential business idea. He’s smarter than anyone would give him credit for and he loves how you look when you’re deep in thought, trying to solve something, and how your eyes light up as you figure it all out. He’s not one to just give you the answer to things, so if he knows something and you don’t he likes to hint at it like it’s a game. When you guess the answer right he presses a kiss to the tip of your nose and beams at you.

- Late night phone calls where you talk about whatever’s keeping you awake. He doesn’t mind who’s calling who, he wants to ramble or listen to you at any given moment and he’ll give up his sleep if it means you can get something that’s bothering you off your chest. Similarly, there is no greater comfort for him than getting to complain to you about something or other, something that’s genuinely bothering him and that’s stuck in his head. He feels like it only disappears when you take a hold of it for him for a little bit.

Beelzebub

- Sharing food, obviously, means a lot to him. Feed him bites of your food, give him anything you don’t want, and he’ll love it. He especially loves if you share food that’s important to you in some way, and you’ll find him giving you little bites of his food too the closer you two get. It means a lot to him when people embrace the fact that he eats so much, instead of scolding him for it or making jokes about it.

- He really likes holding hands. Your hands are so small in his and yet you trust him not to injure them as you pull him along. He feels possessive sometimes but isn’t outwardly affectionate enough to do anything about it, and the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable. It’s the perfect thing for him.

- Stacking random things on the other. Sitting cross-legged in a park, pulling daisies out of the lawn that’s about to be mowed anyway and gently placing them into each other’s hair, on the other’s shoulders and laps. If you’re laying in his bed he’ll take random light objects off his night stand and place them on top of you. There’s no purpose and no intention, and yet it makes him smile and gives him butterflies, and he laughs if you glare jokingly up at him but let him continue.

- Run your hands through his hair, down the sides of his face, under his jaw. Anywhere. He melts in an instant, mouth slightly open as you poke his cheeks or tickle his neck and shoulders with feather light touches.

Belphegor

- Nap. On. Him. Any time, any where. Snuggle up to him, lean your head against his shoulder or bury your face into his neck or lay down on his lap and just rest. He blushes every time and it takes him a second to recover. Sometimes he’ll angle himself so he can lean against you two and he’ll fall asleep as well.

- He likes those kind of monkey hugs where you wrap your entire body around him and he can bury his face in your neck and hold on as tight as he wants. He’ll walk around like that until you get to the attic and he can throw you into his pile of pillows and blankets, and he flops down on top of you and clings onto you again, trying to hide his face because he’s smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

- He loves playful, back and forth banter. He’ll tease you constantly, loves if you pout at him, loves it more if you retort with something and keep it running for a while before the two of you start laughing.

- Being childish. He’ll stick out his tongue at you or pull a sudden face and he expects you to do it back immediately. If you don’t he’ll poke and tickle you, telling you how disappointed and hurt he is.

- Headbumps! But not too hard. Gently bump your head against his shoulder to get his attention and he’ll pat it. Bonus points if you nuzzle into his hands then - he’s hard to fluster but you can hear him swallow as he starts to go red. You’ll immediately have all of his attention to yourself.

- Belphie is the king of silent conversations. The tiniest gestures, nods, tilts of the head. He can pick up on all of them, knows exactly what you’re trying to say without you saying it, to the point where sometimes you won’t even realise you’re not talking aloud.

[mywritingonlyfans]

One Shot with Ethan Torchio // It's a bit Fluffly, Smut and Angsty

prompt: in which, ethan always need/visit you when he's not in tour + casual sex(?) with ethan tying you up so you don't touch him i'm telling you this but isn't a hardcore smut

warnings: it's smut. a fluffly kinda sexy(?)maybe it's just sexy bc it's ethan smut ig fem!reader

(he is so hot. i'm crying all my tears, and that's fucking pathetic.)

Your head hurt, you knew your face was probably red due to your desire to go home and cry, but yet, your friends convinced you to go out for a drink. According to them nothing was too bad that a beer couldn’t improve, you doubted it.

Somehow, you found yourself happy to have accepted.

You didn’t know Ethan was back in town, you briefly wondered why you didn’t know, since he always contacted you when he was near (or at least that was what it seemed to be). Still, you were glad to see him. He was always able to make things better, even if only for a short period of time; which in your case was very short one as he wasn’t yours to have.

Ethan complemented your friends, they were all too familiar to him. He hugged you, giving a small kiss to your head while sitting next to you. Suddenly, you felt like a stronger drink would do you good.

It wasn’t hard to tell what was going to happen in the next few hours, after a couple of years going through that, you knew the time you spent together would always be the same. You guessed that you were able to put his head in place, just as he did with yours; and that's why he always came back to you. You'd never be able to tell if it was luck or mischance.

“Was it too hard to find me?” You asked him.

By now, your friends had moved to another corner. “I mean, I’m not complaining, I’m glad you did.” You offered him a weak smile. He did the same.

He looked tired, yet deadly cute.

He shuffled his chair closer to yours, letting his leg touch your bare knee. “Not really, Victoria said she called you in the morning, then told me that you intended to visit here for the night,” he mumbled, signaling to the bartender that he needed a beer, and so did you.

“She’s a gossip,” you wrinkled your nose, causing him to provide offer you a nasal laugh that you had learned to find lovely over the years. “But what has been happenin’ in your life lately? You’re good?” You tried to sound casual, but deep down you knew he wasn’t there entirely for you. Something was bothering him, he was looking for someone to rest on.

“Pretty much the same,” he sighed heavily. He wasn’t tired just physically. “We finished the last album, I feel exhausted.”

He looked at you like a lost puppy, watching your face, analyzing if you were in the mood to listen to him, or even if you were okay with having him around. After all, he came to you out of nowhere.

He’d never make you uncomfortable around him, maybe he hadn't noticed that yet. “C’mon, let it all out. I haven’t seen you for too many months for you to deprive me of the details.”

“If I tell you,” he pondered, “ you’ll tell me why you have a runny nose to match your watery eyes?” He poked your cheek, dragging his fingers so he could put some strands of hair back in place.

His seat was now so close to you that you'd be able to rest your head on his shoulder if you wanted to without creating any bodily discomfort.

“I guess life just hasn’t been all that gentle with me lately.” You giggled at him. “I lost my job last week, the same life shit is goin’ on as usual, and when I finally managed to move to a decent place, I’ll now be actually going back to sharin' apartment with strangers, because, y’know, I can’t afford bein’ in there anymore.”

Ethan was quiet for a while, you needed him more than he needed you. Listening to you made him realize how his worries were nothing at all. He knew that you didn't mind sharing an apartment with someone, but the loss of perspective was always tough.

Without further thinking, he pulled you to himself, fluffing your hair and holding you tight in his grip. You didn’t cry, yet it was possible to read your emotions. It was little, but Ethan knew you.

You took your head off his chest while he still had his arm around your waist. Taking a deep breath, you stared at your laced fingers, feeling it slow down. “I guess it’s all happenin’ at the same time, I’m just not sure how to handle it at the moment,” he held your face in his hand, his mouth close to yours as he ran his fingertips over your chin, until his lips were on you.

He was soft and wet, he had the same taste you still had etched in your mind, at that moment it seemed to be all you needed. He let go slowly, distributing pecks on the corners of your mouth, letting his forehead rest against yours.

You two stayed like that for a few minutes and you could bet that anyone who passed by could see how much of a fool you were for him. You tried not to think about it too much, it was better to have little of him than to have nothing. “Ethan?”

“Huh?” He murmured with his eyes closed, giving your lips a tickling sensation.

“Kiss me more,” and then he did. Ethan was holding you in place while your hands intertwined around his neck. You played with the chain of his necklace, savoring the touch of his tongue on yours, focusing only on him while pulling at his hair to hear his soft moans.

It didn’t take long for the bartender to come get your attention. You laughed nervously against him, you were embarrassed because you didn’t even remember where you were, still Ethan seemed untouchable about it. He wasn’t one to be embarrassed over small things like that, at least not with you. The bartender was quite irritated with the two of you and just now you noticed that your drinks had arrived and hadn’t even been touched; he was rightly pissed.

Ethan stood up, lifting you up with him. You looked in your pockets for your money, but then Ethan said it was okay and that he’d pay. You would argue, yet any money left over would be welcome. You held both beers in hand as he paid, thanking the old lady for the service, still feeling your skin burning with embarrassment, and then headed outside to wait for Ethan.

“Are you drivin’?” He asked, laughing at your state of awkwardness.

You bumped into his shoulder slightly, laughing along with him. “I am not, I’m living nearby,” you whispered as he put his hand inside your skirt pocket, bringing you to his side for a walk. “In the apartment that soon won’t be mine… how ‘bout you?”

“Not drivin’, I thought about staying somewhere to spend the night.”

He was close to home, but not that close, it would take about 3 hours to get to where he lives; it seemed plausible that he wanted to stay. “Are you only here because of me?” You risked asking.

“Yeah,” he took his hand out of your pocket and ran it through his hair. “I didn’t think it‘d be a bad idea.”

There was a silence, but it was far from being uncomfortable. “You know you can stay with me.”

——————-

Considering that you were in the process of moving to another place your house was a bit of a mess. Ethan wouldn’t be bothered by that, somehow your instinct of wanting things always in place - aka Monica from Friends - made you wander around the space in an attempt to make Ethan at home.

“What ‘bout the new album?” You asked, dragging one of the boxes away from him. It wouldn’t even bother anyone, but the thought that it would be in the middle of the room while someone was at your house bothered you.

“I don’t really know, I feel anxious about releasin’ it. It’s not that I don’t want to release it or am afraid of doing so, far from that, it's just, I don’t know… ” His voice fell silent, lost in his thoughts.

You turned to him, wanting to ask him what he had said, after all, that didn’t sound like Ethan, you felt as his hands touched your hips, pulling you on his lap. “Y'know I don’t care about your mess, right? Just, please, stop walkin’ 'round the house dragging boxes.” He said with his face close to your neck, hugging you from behind. His warm breath was in contact with your soft skin, providing heat to your body. Well, there was a minimal percentage chance that you were trying to make the place look good for Ethan, just because he made you a little nervous.

“Okay, fine. I’m fine,” you exhaled, turning to face him. He was smiling with his eyes almost closing; he still looked tired, but at least you were improving his mood. “You know you’re good at what you do, Ethan. You shouldn’t worry 'bout those things.” You held on to his shoulders, breaking something that could turn out to be a pity silence.

He squeezed your thigh at the same time as he laughed humorlessly at your words. “I know that. I guess that this is the short time they gave us to finish the album – it was drivin’ me crazy. The album isn’t bad, not at all, it’s honestly very good. Dami did a incredible job, still if it weren’t for the time it could have been even better. That’s crazy how I’m still letting myself get stressed over this, don’t you think?” He vented, moving his hands up your skirt.

“I know it’ll be good, I can’t think of anything you did that ended up bad!” You ran your fingers over his covered shoulders, down to his chest, going to the first open button of his t-shirt. “But if it’s just stress I can help you.”

He lubed his lips, nodding assiduously, putting you properly on top of him. That way, you were stuck to his body, feeling the rough of his jeans along with the zipper against your underwear. You gulped as he held your face, sealing your lips with his. You were relieved he always guided you through that; the leading up part was way better when it came from him.

You unbuttoned the rest of his shirt in middle of sloppy kisses and grips. Running your hand over his belly, tracing your fingers to the back of his neck while moving your hips lightly. You lugged on his hair, pulling him away to catch your breath. You opened your eyes to find Ethan with a deep pink mouth and brown eyes more intense than normal, at that moment you could have sworn that he was the most beautiful thing you had ever laid eyes on. You spread his shirt to the sides, sensing your body getting hotter, when Ethan smirked at your rush, managing to hold both of your hands behind you; stopping you in place.

“No need to rush, we have plenty of time,” he clenched you in his hands. You arched your back, breathing heavily at each touch of his fingers on your wrists.

He ran his nose over your neck, placing kisses and bites on the way to your collarbone, leaving wet tracks that would later turn into dark marks.

Your legs ached from that position, the couch wasn’t the best, but feeling Ethan getting hard under you as you writhed yourself against him, made you want to stay there for as long as he wanted you to. It was crazy to think that at the beginning of the day you were sure that the rest of it would be a pure disaster, and now being spoiled by Ethan’s lips your worries seemed to fade away.

Temporary as that would be, you were determined to give him your all, making his and yours next hours one of the best escapes from both of you. Unnecessary to say that you were lost in your own mind by now, craving for having his strands in-between your fingers, wanting him tugged into you furiously, causing you to ache. Your mouth was ajar, your vision was just white dots as he played with your sensitive skin, driving you insane. Ethan paralyzed when his grip became too strong around your fists and you got louder than usual.

“D’you like that?” He did it again, but this time pushing your body backward. He kept his devilish grin on his face, watching you from top to bottom. You bit your lips, containing your noises to yourself. Such an angel in his eyes. “Up, babe. I need to see something.” He didn’t let you answer, not as if he needed to. You stood up in front of him, legs shaking with your head definitely not in the right place. “Undress.” He rested his elbows on his knees.

His face was serious, and you didn’t see any problem in obeying his voice, but perhaps, due to the lack of his body being glued to yours, you couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it when I tell you what to do,” He caught you by the hem of your underwear, helping to take it off while you got rid of your blouse. “Especially, when I just got you off my lap, almost unconscious 'cause of some kisses to your soft neck, pet.” He added, drawing circles on the inside of your thigh, smoothly going up to your center.

You felt your breath come to a halt. “You’re just too bossy.” You teased, confirming that your breathing was faulty.

He patted his nose over the damp stain of the fabric, placing a kiss there. “And you love it.” He pecked you a few more times, teasing you by running his fingers on the edges as putting the cloth to the side; never touching you where you needed him.

Almost involuntarily you took hold of his hair, bringing him closer to your core. And then, you understood his previous question, it wasn’t just about not being able to touch him, but also about the power he was having over you.

He cut his actions short and got up, hovering over you. “Tonight, you won’t be allowed to touch me, all right?!” He whispered, tossing your hair behind your ear.

That’d be comical in any other situation, yet with his body and eyes fixed on your frame you felt in his domain.

You nodded, diving into the way he pulled at the hair on the nape of your neck firmly so that you were looking at him. “Go on, babe,” He insisted on having the words he wanted.

“Yes, it’s all right, Ethan,” it was far from all right, you couldn’t do that. How could you go without touching, making a mess of his hair or marking your nails on his back?

“That’s my girl,” he praised you in between sighs.

He was excited while your face was overflowing with nervousness; not out of fear, but out of curiosity. He finished removing his shirt and indicated with his fingers for you to lie down on the couch.

You shut your eyes tight, with his voice echoing 'my girl’ in your mind, Ethan was lugging your wrists above your head as you did what he told you to do. He tied them with his shirt. “Is this hurtin’ you? Are you comfortable?” He tightened it in a knot.

Your head and elbows were on the arm of the couch, only your hands were unsupported. Although you weren’t uncomfortable, it was to be expected that pain would appear the next day; it’d be worth it. “No, it’s fine. I’m good.” You assured him as he knelt beside the couch, running his hands down your torso, making you squirm.

He went down to the hem of your underwear, taking it off with the help of your legs kicking the lace away. “Good then,” he warbled, pattering lines on your pubic hair. “Needy and in your proper place.”

“Bastard,” you swore through clenched teeth.

He grinned, admiring how your breast rose and fell in a quick but punctual rhythm while your hips fidgeted at his touch. You looked like a piece of art he had just created, swollen lips, filled in lovely marks on the collarbone. He found himself in need to concentrate on his breathing while watching you, to control his pulse as he reached his fingertips to your pussy.

“Ethan” you breathed out, forcing your fists. “Go on, please,”

With that, he held your hands, forcing them down and slid a finger inside you. Your lips opened in a sigh and he took the opportunity to kiss you, running his tongue over your bottom lip and nipping it to his mouth, keeping things on a slow pace.

You wanted to hold his hand, make him go faster or be able to pull the locks of his hair until he understood how much you wanted him, but you had no way of doing that, and you knew he was just doing that to provoke you.

His lips traveled over your neck again, this time giving light kisses, blowing air on the soft fresh he had left in there.

“You’re so gorgeous,” he said without even opening his eyes, delighting in your skin as he sped up, now rubbing his thumb gently over your bud.

You whispered something almost inaudible that Ethan recognized as his name. He raised his head, coming face a face to you. “Right there, huh?” He asked, focusing on the spot that was blurring your vision.

You groaned. The satisfying delight running through your veins. You closed your legs, wishing you could hold on to his body, but all he did was laugh, shoving his fingers leisurely into you.

“No, no Ethan,” you looked at him properly, thinking that if you hadn’t been with your wrists tied you’d have slapped his chest.

He wiped his hand on your thigh, and stood up slipping his jeans down his legs along with his underwear. You sighed at him, stretching your arms, staring at the ceiling to disguise yourself. Not that it was necessary, Ethan was already too much of a show-off when it came to you for your liking.

“You good? How’s your arms?” He doubted, getting on top of you.

He had his hair damp, falling over the spots on his forehead. Some of his locks was glued to his chest and his golden pendant dangled in front of your eyes. For a split second, you though about saying that you missed him, but you were wise enough to know better than doing such a thing.

“If I say that I’m not good. Are you goin’ to untie me?”

He pressed his chest to yours, your body sticking to his since you were both sweaty.

“Not even a chance,” He stroked your neck with his thumb, up and down, with a silly look on his face.

You grunted as soon as you felt how solid hard he was against your thigh, he aligned himself in-between your knees, holding on to your shoulders, and without hesitation he filled you up. Your body tingled and your voice failed, causing a silent moan to slip from your lips. His head fell over the crook of your neck and you could feel how dysrhythmic his breathing was. His warm body along with his breath hitting on your neck added a pleasant feeling in your stomach, leaving you dizzy under him.

“Move Ethan,” you tried to sound understandable, embracing his waist with your legs.

He thrusted deeply in you, leaving a breathed sigh of relief in your ears. You stretched out your arms, tightening your thighs around him. He held the shirt in your hands, preventing it from coming loose.

“No, I wanna touch you,” you whined.

“You will, just be patient, babe,” he squeezed your wrists in his hand.

Closing your eyes, you enjoyed the way his body was over yours, every movement and every delicate touch.

He went slowly at first, making sure you were taking all of him before going faster. Once he felt your walls clenching around him, he murmured a breathless 'fuck’, letting go of your hands so that you could finally feel him. You dug your nails into his back, kneading your body against his at the same time as he hugged you.

As you opened your eyes, he was already looking at you, with an intense gaze, building you up to feel sexy and wanted.

Both of you were a mess; sweaty and sticky. You felt a tingling ecstasy take all over your body, your toes twitching as you emptied yourself into him. He kept working on you until his body collapsed into yours, filling you up to perfection.

The last thing you remembered was having your fingers entwined in his hair, patting at it slightly as he whispered sweet nothing against your skin; just like a lullaby.

———–-------

You woke up to the noise of the television, trying to adjust your vision to the brightness of the daylight. Failing to stretch, you felt how sore your body was.

Your eyes searched for Ethan, finding him sitting opposite to you with a lazy smile and a cup of tea in hands, his attention was all on you. Friends was playing on the television, but you doubted he was really watching it.

“Good mornin’ babe,” his husky voice echoed through the room. It was the best thing to hear in the morning. “How’s it? Hurtin’?” He asked when you started examining your marked wrists.

He was fully dressed and although you weren’t, he had managed to get a sheet to cover you.

“Good mornin’. It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt,” you mumbled, scratching your eyes, curling up on the sheet. “How long will you be stayin’ in town?”

“Not long,” he paused thoughtfully. You already expected that he wouldn’t be with you for long, still sometimes you liked to think that it’d last longer than just a few days before he disappeared to another continent. “I need to go home in a few minutes, I’m going to take a flight at night to adjust the final details of the album.”

“Sounds nice,” you wanted to have the courage to tell him how he made things in your life look just right, as if he were some kind of piece missing from your puzzle. “I can’t wait to hear it, hear what your great fingers are capable of.” You ignored your thoughts. He laughed.

However, you truly believed that not saying anything was a wise move.

He lifted a cup from one of the boxes next to him, holding it out to you. “I made one for you too, I hope you don’t mind.”

You didn’t mind it, in fact, you loved the way he made himself at home so quickly. The home that soon wouldn’t be yours anymore. You wished Ethan could remedy your worries for more than just one night.

“Thank you,” you took the still warm drink in your hands, looking at him as if he were part of your decor. “You can smoke in here, I don’t mind that either,” you spoke up. You couldn’t even imagine that he’d have gone without lighting a cigarette all morning.

“The place is all clean, and smells nice. I bet you never lit one yourself, I wouldn’t do that.” He was right.

“Well, y'know that I don’t care about the smell, I just don’t see the need to leave the house impregnated with it.” You explained, remembering that Ethan’s house was a perfect description of that smell, yet you loved his place.

“I know this is going to sound strange,” he started. “But if you can’t find a place in time to live in… you can stay at mine, I mean, you know I am never home and as I’ll be travelin’ you could make yourself at home.”

He said it casually, and you knew he wasn’t lying, if you wanted to he wouldn't even think twice about letting you stay at his.

“No need, I’ll be fine. I do appreciate it though.” you took a sip of your now cold drink.

He bobbed, checking what you thought could be the time on his phone.

“You have to go, I guess?” You asked, your soft voice revealing you didn’t want that.

“I need to,” he gave you a small smile, getting up. “It’s gettin’ a bit late for me.”

“I see,” you went to him, adjusting the sheet on your body, feeling ridiculous for still being undressed. “I guess I’ll see you, right?” You added it while he picked up your stuff on the couch; keys, wallet and the pack of cigarettes. There was no answer for your question.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, heading to the door. “You could come and visit, spend a few days with us. It’d be nice.”

“On tour? Like a groupie?” You wrinkled your nose. His arms wrapping around you. You’d miss it.

He squeezed you into his chest, his tiny beard tickling your cheek. “You know you are much more than just a groupie for me, Y/N.”

You didn’t answer that. He pulled away and for a second you thought he was going to kiss you, but he didn’t.

“See ya Y/N,” instead, he kissed the top of your head. “Think about it, both about comin’ to visit and also about needing a place to stay for a while.”

“I’m sure I will, thank you Ethan,” you watched him, from his rumpled shirt to dark circles under his eyes. He’d always have a special space in your heart. “I guess I’ll see ya then.”

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taglist ( 'cause someone actually wanted to be tagged, i didn't even force anyone😁): @maybanksslut , @oro-e-diamanti