#ethan torchio fanfic

[writingmaneskin]

Handwritten - An Ethan Torchio Story || Chapter Seven

Pairings: Ethan Torchio x OC Character

Summary: Words are magic and when one author pours their heart and soul into something, the Universe just…answers.

A/N: I think this is one of the fluffiest things I've ever written.

Fluff, mentions of smut 👀

Words: 3329

THE HANDWRITTEN MASTERLIST

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

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Aurora hummed quietly while adding the finishing touches to the table as Ethan started serving the pasta. 

“Thomas is thinking about settling with Tom.” Ethan blurted out, his friend’s words still clouding his mind. Thomas and Tom’s relationship was newer than his and Auri’s, yet Ethan knew Thomas well enough to know that he would not back out on this and he spoke his mind only because he was sure.

“I am really happy to hear this. Tom and Thomas deserve all the happiness in the world.” Auri said between bites.

“Yes, they do.” 

Auri reached out and squeezed his hand gently.

“I am really happy to be here with you.” 

“I am really happy too, cara.” Ethan wiped his mouth before kissing her very gently.

**

“Is it okay if I stay over tonight?” Ethan asked after they finished dinner.

“I was hoping you would.” Auri admitted.

Her words made him smile.

“I’m going to miss our time together when I am on the road.” 

“I am going to miss you.” Auri looked at him.

“I’ll be back, you know that.” 

“I know, but missing you will still be a thing when you are not here.” She went to him and pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“Would it be okay if I take something of yours with me on the road?” He held her and ran a hand through her hair.

“Of course, you can have whatever you want.” Auri smiled.

“Thank you, cara.” He kept holding her.

“I am going to need something of yours too, you know.” 

“The shirts you already stole are insufficient?” 

“I did not steal them! You left them here and I just sleep in them!” 

Ethan chuckled.

“What is mine is yours. You didn’t steal them.” He raised his hands in surrender.

Auri was sure her heart skipped a few beats.

“What is mine is yours too.” She got on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips.

**

Auri felt almost bubbly the next day, Ethan’s words playing over and over in her head. 

“You’re all sunshine and rainbows.” Tom said by way of greeting.

“I am, last night was really lovely.” Auri kissed Tom’s cheek before going inside the cafe where they’d met to order a cappuccino and breakfast.

Tom followed her and ordered food and coffee for himself too before the two sat down outside, each lighting a cigarette.

“It’s really refreshing seeing you this lively and happy.” Tom spoke after a moment.

“Things are finally aligning and the heaviness is lifting, I almost can’t believe it at times.” 

“You went through a lot, Auri. I think it’s a normal reaction to be disbelieving at times.” 

“I think it is too.” Auri took a drag from the cigarette. 

“So what is going on besides Ethan making you so happy?” 

“Well, the apartment is feeling more and more homey with each day which is something I’ve longed for ever since I moved out on my own. My old place might have seen me grow up but it never felt like home. It felt just like an apartment, like a storage space. This place feels like home and I actually enjoy spending time there and having people over.” 

“You have no idea how much relief your words bring.” Tom spoke softly.

Auri smiled.

“I signed up for a writing club and for a book club too, you know.” 

“That does not mean that my early access to your works is revoked, I hope?” 

“Of course you’ll still have access.” 

“And the smut better not stop flowing. I am loving the book recommendations.” 

Auri laughed at that.

“I am sure you are.” 

“Did you make Ethan read your favourites yet?” 

“No, not yet. Did you try those poses from your favourite with Thomas?” 

Tom grinned.

“I never kiss and tell.”

**

The moments when Ethan could roam around Rome without being noticed were rare and few in between but he appreciated every single one of them. Those were fragments of old normalcy that he sometimes missed even though he was off the grid whenever they had time off and people usually respected his privacy.

But he had a mission - to get Auri’s gifts for their birthday and prepare a nice surprise. It was only one step of the plan, he was still to meet the twins to discuss the limits and the grandeur of the surprise that they would pull off.

“When can we meet?” It was a text from Tom, pulling him away from making the decision on which journal to get, and whether or not to get matching journals for himself and Auri.

“I should be done at the bookshop soon. Maybe give me half an hour? I can meet you in Trastevere?” 

“YOU’RE IN A BOOKSHOP WITHOUT ME????” He could hear Tom’s disappointed tone.

Ethan replied with his live location.

“Was it that hard?” His focus was interrupted by Tom who walked up to him not even fifteen minutes later.

“What?” Ethan grinned and hugged his friend.

“Telling me that we are going book shopping to begin with!” 

“Oh. No, I was just distracted. I want to get Auri everything but for everything to also be perfect.” He admitted shyly.

“May I look through what you’ve selected?” Tom smiled and looked in the basket that Ethan was holding. He saw a few titles that he knew Auri was planning to read, a lovely edition of one of her favourite romance novels and two beautiful journals, one lilac and one black.

“She will love the selection, you did well.” Tom praised.

“Thank you. I want to pick out some things for myself too and we can go grab a coffee after, if you’d like.” 

“Yes, Eli should be finishing work soon and we can pick them up on the way to the cafe and just catch up.” 

“That’s a good plan. So, how have you been doing?” Ethan looked at his friend for a moment, whose smile only widened while picking some of the same books that were chosen for Auri as their book tastes ran similarly.

“I am really happy. I was worried if moving back to Rome would be the right decision for me but I am glad I came back. Being closer to my parents and this new thing with Thomas, it’s really bringing me joy. And Eli and Auri both being here also adds so much joy to my life.” 

“I was worried about you, you know?” Ethan admitted.

“Why?”

“Well, for a while you and Thomas were going back and forth but not really taking action, or so it seemed, and I worried that you’ll end up with your heart broken.” Ethan explained.

“That’s… that’s very kind of you.” Tom squeezed the drummer’s arm.

“I love Thomas but that doesn’t mean that you are not important to me too.” Ethan smiled in return.

“You’re important to me too, Eth and I can’t tell you how relieving it is for me to see you happy and with one of the most important people in my life.” 

Ethan blushed at the mention of Auri.

“You’re so cute, really.” Tom teased.

“She is becoming a very important person in my life, you know?” Ethan admitted shyly, knowing that his words would stay with Tom until he was ready to talk to Auri.

“I can tell. Eli is very protective of Auri and so am I, but I feel like she is safe with you and you have brought her so much happiness that I can only thank you.” 

“She has brought me joy too.” 

“I can tell.”

Ethan inhaled deeply, looking at the now small pile of journals that he’d added to the book stack in his basket. 

“I should stop.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Tom joked.

“I really should.” Ethan chuckled.

**

The closer that time ticked to her birthday, the more unease she felt, and the more she wanted to shut off the parts of herself that she felt were too vulnerable. 

Aurora’s phone lit up with yet another notification that was trying to pull her away from the world she had immersed herself in.

“I am taking you shopping.” She glimpsed Tom’s words and her focus went completely away as she picked up the phone.

“Why?” 

“Since when do you need an explanation for shopping?”

“Is it book shopping?” 

“No.” 

“Then why are we going shopping?”

“Because your birthday is coming and we need to get you an outfit for the party.”

“Tom…”

“No arguments. Consider it my birthday gift.” 

“Fine, when do you want to go?” 

“Now? Unless you’re busy?”

She considered it for a moment, knowing that getting out of the house would be the wise decision but also not really feeling it. 

“I have to get ready.” 

“Just let me in, I’m outside.” 

She pressed the button that opened the outside door and opened the door of the apartment.

“You really should give me a set of keys.” Tom said as a way of greeting.

“I really should, yes.” Auri hugged him tightly and held on for a moment.

“What’s wrong?” Tom held her even tighter when she wasn’t letting go.

“I am not sure, I think it might just be an off-day but thank you for coming when you did.” 

“You are my best friend, and we are both getting used to being in the same city and it’s really nice to be able to see you and hug you whenever I want, you know?”

Auri nodded, a tear rolling down her face. 

“I love my new life, I love the way it’s all coming together, but fuck I am overwhelmed.” 

“I know, tesoro. I know. But you are doing so well.” He got a strand of hair away from her face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“I don’t think I am capable of going shopping. Not right away.” Auri sniffled.

“That’s okay. Can I stay? I don’t want to leave you right now.” 

“Please stay.” 

The two moved to the sofa and Auri curled up, her head resting on Tom’s lap.

“You’re like a cat.” 

Auri sniffled again.

“Is it the birthday blues hitting you hard, tesoro?”

“I think so. I talked in therapy about it and my therapist gave me useful advice but I am still overwhelmed. I mean, we are what - eight to ten people, just the closest circle? I am terrified.” 

“You know that nothing bad will happen.” 

“I know but the anxiety is making me spiral. It’s making me freeze and I need to start planning this so it doesn’t turn into a last minute shitshow.”

“Can I take something off your plate? Or just keep you company?”

Auri lifted her head and looked at her best friend.

“Will you?” Tears started coming back.

“Of course.” 

“But I already refused earlier… I told Ethan that I want to plan it.”

“He will understand. As long as you’re okay, I am sure he will understand. Plus, he is really excited about celebrating you.”

“He is?” 

“Yes. But I am not telling you more.”

Auri smiled a little.

“I am not going to push you but I think some shopping might cheer you up and we can go by the bookstore later.” Tom offered.

Auri looked at him.

“And get gelato?”

“And get gelato.” 

She sat up slowly and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Of course, kid.”

Her phone buzzed with an incoming call when she was getting up.

“Hi sunshine.” She smiled, picking up Ethan’s call.

“Hi tesoro. How is the day going?” 

“Mostly okay, I am about to go get ready to do some shopping with Tommy. How are rehearsals?”

“That’s why I am calling, rehearsals are going to be running late because some people overslept and we had a long lunch in the break.”

“Oh. Hopefully they won’t run too late.”

“I hope so too, but I am calling so you don’t worry.”

“Thank you, amo. Text me if anything changes, okay?” 

“I will. Have the best time with Tommy and I’ll see you soon.” 

“Good, have good rehearsals!” 

She hung up and looked at Tom, not saying a word, just smiling.

“What?”

“I am falling more and more each day.”

“I know.” 

Tom knocked on the bedroom door some minutes later, and saw Aurora sitting on the floor doing her makeup, already dressed.

“Just checking on you.”

“I am okay. Will you grab dinner with me?” 

“It will be my pleasure. Eli and Angie are busy at the office, so it’s just you and me.”

“They can come next time.” Auri added the finishing touch of her makeup.

“You look beautiful.” Tom complimented. Auri was wearing a black dress with a small bag, her hair pinned out of her face and her makeup was simple but the red lipstick tied it all together.

“Thank you.” She smiled. 

“Ready to go?”

“Yes, but let’s take a picture first.”

The two posed in front of the mirror in the corridor, Tom towering over Auri and looking very similar to her with his black pants and black bedazzled shirt, his black and blue hair slicked as well. The bedazzling of his shirt and gold elements and he wore his favourite green and gold bracelet.

“You look like Loki.” Auri giggled.

“I will take that as a compliment.”

“It is one.” She took a few pictures before sending one to Ethan and one to Eli and putting the phone away in her purse.

“I’m really glad we get to do this.” Tom took her hand as they walked outside.

“I’m really glad too. It finally feels like I can breathe, you know?”

Her words hurt his heart and he pulled her in for a hug in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“Nothing bad will ever happen to you again.” He promised quietly, still holding her.

“We don’t know that.” Auri argued, swallowing away the tears that were threatening to ruin her makeup.

“Even if shit hits the fan, we’ll take care of you.”

“I know. I will take care of you too.” Auri promised in turn.

He kissed her forehead again before letting go. 

**

“I know that three of you Kens are all lovey-dovey and honeymooning and everything but I really want you to get yourselves together so we can finish rehearsing and go home at a decent hour.” Vic insisted after Damiano fucked up the lyrics of one of their songs and stopped the whole song from frustration.

“Okay, Barbie.” Thomas chuckled.

“No cigarette breaks until we get at least three songs perfect.” Vic insisted.

“Now, that’s rude and uncalled for.” Thomas frowned.

“And no phones until the next cigarette break, Ethan.” Vic added, seeing that Ethan had already picked up his phone.

“Just one second!” He put his drumstick down and typed quickly “you look exquisite” before sending it and locking his phone again. 

“We need to get our shit together.” Damiano also put his phone away.

“Yes, we do, otherwise we’ll end up sleeping here and you three will probably pine the night away.” 

“Okay, then. Less talking, more playing.” Thomas clapped his hands.

“Watch him not make any mistakes now.” Damiano grinned as music started filling the room again.

It was almost midnight when they finished rehearsals. His hands were sore from playing and he was sweaty and tired. 

“You look like you could use some sleep.” Damiano told his friend.

“I just want to figure out which house I am going to.”

“You’ll be so glad when you stop playing the game of going back and forth between the apartments.” Damiano patted Ethan’s shoulder.

“I know but it has to be the right time.” 

“True.” Damiano lit a cigarette. 

“I got you dinner and I can meet you at your apartment in a bit if you’d prefer to go home today.” Auri typed in the chat. 

“Thank you, tesoro. I will meet you at my apartment, I’m leaving the studio now.” He typed back before looking at Damiano. 

“Don’t you always go on about how home is where the heart is?” He teased his friend, lighting a cigarette of his own.

“I don’t always go on about it, but you know it’s right or you’ll figure it out soon enough.” Damiano winked.

“I think I am starting to see the meaning behind your words.” Ethan admitted, inhaling deeply.

“I can only be happy for you.” Damiano smiled.

“Thank you.”

Ethan got out of Damiano’s car not that long after, and sure enough, Auri was waiting outside. 

“Did you wait long?” He kissed her very gently.

“No, Tom just dropped me off.” She smiled and hugged him with one arm, the other holding the bag with the food. 

“Did you two have a nice day together?” He started unlocking the doors to his apartment.

“Yes, we did some shopping and had dinner and gelato, and then I realised that you’ll probably be hungry by the time rehearsals are over so we went to get a snack and get you some dinner, as well as dinner for Thomas and then you texted and Tommy drove me here before going to see his boyfriend.” Auri followed Ethan inside.

“You are saving me right now.” He kissed her again once they got into the apartment.

“I wouldn’t want you to starve.” She smiled and kissed him again and again.

“I missed you today and Vic bullied us because we were all distracted.”

“I missed you too. But I am glad we are together now.” Auri said as Ethan reached to get the bag of food and winced as his hand cramped. Auri noticed it immediately.

“Go and wash up, I’ll set the table and then I’ll take care of you.” She stole another kiss before going to the kitchen, and for a second he was stunned by her words, something warming in his chest before he did as they’d said.

Auri got the pasta she’d ordered for him plated and got two glasses with ice tea on the table for the two of them. 

“Are you in a lot of pain?” She asked as soon as he got to the kitchen.

“No, it’s just a bit annoying. I’ll put on cream later and it should pass by the morning, don’t worry.”

She gave him a look that he knew meant of course, i’ll worry and smiled before sitting down. 

“Thank you again for taking care of me.” 

“It’s my pleasure.” Auri lit a cigarette. 

“How did shopping go?” He asked between bites.

“We got some stuff, Tom wanted to get my birthday gifts even though I assured him twenty times that he didn’t need to get anything. So we bought clothes and books and it ended up being nice.”

“I am glad to hear it was nice.” He smiled and wiped his mouth on a napkin.

“Where is this cream you use?” Auri asked as he started cleaning up after himself. 

“In my room, on the nightstand.”

“I’ll get it.” 

“I need to shower first. Today was sweaty.” 

“That’s hot.” Auri grinned.

“Want to join me? We could save on some water?”

“That sounds ideal actually.” She agreed. 

**

Ethan could hear the noise out on the street, even though it wasn’t too loud. He knew that dawn neared with every passing minute and he didn’t regret staying up, despite the exhaustion, just to spend some time with Auri. 

She had taken care of his hands and the rest of his upper body and he’d held her as she whispered about the ideas that were running through her head about stories that she needed to tell.

He carefully turned on his side and put his hand on her waist, gently enough not to wake her. “You're a dream I didn't know I had and a dream I hope I can keep around forever.” He said quietly before kissing her bare shoulder and slowly drifting off to sleep as well. He held her the entire night.

----

taglist: @iosonoarina @vita-thrasher @ethaneskin @dubist-immerinmeinengedanken @chemical-killjoy @butkutee @8iunie @ventvnni @dpaccione @elvirabelle @cuzimitaliano @daddydamiano @maneskings @moonlight-simp @shehaddreamstoo @iamtashaquinn @alexxavicry @tnu-ree @bigsimpsimp @mynameisangeloflife @queendorkula

[mistressofthecats-blog]

If you went ahead and read "Use Me" part 4 that insanely talented @pjisskullourful cooked up from my request, you'd see hOW MUCH I AGREE WITH THIS.

Only creeps hate hairy men. I saw someone complaining about a guy’s happy trail. Freak, that is the best part of a man.

[tempobrucera]

Lipstick Kisses

Pairing: Thomas x Reader Wordcount: 5k Summary: Thomas develops an obsession with lipstick after someone tells him he shouldn’t wear it. Any kind of lipstick. Warning(s): Smut, some shibari, some bunny <3, mentioned past humiliation, pegging, some d/s dynamics, nipple clamps, sub Thomas

Add yourself to my taglist.  / Masterlist

.#####.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asks, hand on your cheek. 

You nod, but Thomas looks at you. Nothing is okay at the moment, everything is way too much and everything at once. There's no need to lie to him. There's also no chance to really do that, he always sees right through you, and right now, you can see in his face that he doesn't believe you. Thomas' gaze is soft, and you shake your head.

"It's okay." He wraps his arms around you, kisses your forehead. He's soft, not the joker he was mere seconds before when he danced around your kitchen just in his underwear, open bottle of wine in one of his hands, pulling faces and singing off tune on purpose loudly. "It's going to get better again, I believe in you."

He kisses your cheeks as well, then the tip of your nose before he kisses your lips. You're hanging onto him like he's saving you from drowning. Some of the dark bordeaux lipstick you were wearing all day, sticks to his lips and then leaves a faint mark when you kiss his cheek. You laugh, before you try to wipe it away.

"Sorry."

Thomas just laughs and kisses you again. Deeper this time, for longer, more lipstick left behind on his lips. Enough to see the contrast against his skin. Again he kisses your forehead, leaves a lipstick mark of his own. In his eyes you can see a glimmer of wonder and surprise.

"Oh, it sticks."

"Of course it sticks," you laugh again, "You know that, silly boy. Or how do you think it got onto your lips?"

"Because I kissed you."

A pleased sigh escapes him when you kiss his throat, leaving a dark lipstick stain behind. He kisses you again, more bordeaux lipstick sticking to his lips.

"It looks so good on you."

"Really?" He looks at you surprised.

"Yes, really." You get your phone and open the camera app. "Dark lipstick is made for you."

He looks at himself in the reflection, tilts his head from side to side: "You really think so?"

It's not like he looks uncomfortable, he just looks unsure. You leave him alone with your phone and wonder if you will find a selfie or two later. He's still looking at himself when you come back with the lipstick in hand. 

"Let me show you."

Thomas pouts at you after you carefully applied the lipstick to his lips. 

"Brou de Noix," he reads from the bottom of the lipstick tube - butchering the French a little bit. "You really think this looks good on me?"

"Thom," you take a photo of him and give your phone to him, "Why do you think you don't? Who told you this?"

He sighs but this time he sounds frustrated: "One of our latest make-up artists, she said I'm too pale for anything too adventurous."

"They are talking shit, you look incredible."

There's a red stain on his teeth when he bites his lips, you reach out for his cheek and get the colour of with your thumb. Thomas pulls a face at you.

"It sticks, I thought we established that much." You smile at him. "That means it also sticks to your teeth."

You peck his lips, only for a few seconds but he grins at you and holds you in place, close to him.

"And now you're kissing it off of me, because I look so irresistible?"

"Yes, I'll completely kiss it off you." 

He smiles when you kiss the corner of his lips. 

.#####.

It happens more often, it’s a slow progress of Thomas getting more comfortable with that pop of colour on his lips. First it’s colours you almost can’t see on his lips, inconspicuous, a little pink, a bit of nude here and there. Sometimes you only notice when he kisses your cheek, looks at you for a moment too long and you will have to rub some lipstick off your face.

Gradually he’s getting adventurous. One of your dark red lipsticks is missing first, you’re looking for it everywhere one night when you’re going out. Only weeks later it turns up again - you find it in Thomas’ suitcase buried under some shirts.

Then there’s a wonderful plum colour you have had your eyes set on for quite some time but you never dared to pay more than a certain amount for any makeup and this certainly was over your budget. Until one day Thomas gives you a small box with the plum coloured lipstick inside. It looks marvellous on you, your friends tell you so, Thomas tells you so and you can see it yourself. But when you catch Thomas in the bathroom one evening, you can just think stunning and stare at him. He tries to hide the lipstick in the sink behind him whilst rubbing it off his lips. 

“Please don’t,” you say. “It looks amazing on you, Thomas.” 

“You think so?”

“Yes,” you smile at him, “I already said that last time. You look stupendous, too good to be real.”

.#####.

The next time, he isn’t hiding it. One evening he just sits down next to you on the couch, colour on his lips that looks like he just drank a glass of red wine but didn’t lick his lips afterwards.

“So beautiful.”

He smiles at you before he puts his head in your lap and you can play with his hair, twirl strands of his blond hair around your fingers, comb them slowly through his hair. You see how he bites his red lips and how he closes his eyes. He presses his lips to the skin on your thigh where the fabric of your pyjama shorts end.

“You have a favourite yet?”

You can feel how he shakes his head: “No, I only tried about four but I really like this one.”

Thomas looks up at you confused when you get up but when you come back with your makeup bag that holds all your lipsticks and makeup wipes his eyes grow wider.

“Then let's try some more,” you smile at him. He sits up which gives you the opportunity to straddle and sit on top of him. A tiny whimper escaping the back of his throat, always so sensitive to your every touch. “Pick whichever you like.”

His hands shake slightly when he picks up your bag full of treasures and opens it. The little sigh leaving his lips doesn’t slip your attention. Overtaken by something almost like greed he rummages through it. 

“There are so many shades,” he looks at you, “Oh, dark red. Brick red ... plum. Oh, this has a funny name, Tea and Cookies. Pink, more red. Oh, wait, what the fuck, is this blue!?”

“Yes, that’s blue. I have some green as well.” Thomas raises his eyebrow at you and you laugh. “Halloween is a thing that happens.”

“I want to try the green.”

You look for the label that says Serpentina. A dark shimmery green you know will look lovely on Thomas’ lips. Stark contrast to his skin and the light blush around his cheeks and his nose. He squirms under you when you do his lips and his eyelids are fluttering when you take a photo on your phone to show him. 

“I look … good?” He looks at you questioningly. 

“Insanely good.”

He kisses your throat. It doesn’t leave a mark on you, doesn’t stick, and he looks at you confused. 

“It’s smudge proof,” he pouts at you - looking at you like you betrayed him out of a reward he was craving, “And kissproof.” 

“That’s not fair,” he says but doesn’t elaborate when you take a make-up wipe to get the lipstick off.

The next one is a berry shade that you also deem gorgeous on Thomas. Even he marvels over it when he sees himself on your phone camera. He’s rewarded with more satisfaction than before when he presses his lips to your throat again, the lipstick sticking to your skin. It does stick but not enough for his taste. 

There’s the darkest shade of plum next, it’s matte. It’s so dark that he laughs when you show him: “I’m too much of a loaf of toast for this one but I love how it feels and this … matte thing?”

“I think, I have the perfect one for you,” you dig into your bag again until you find the brick red matte lipstick Thomas looked at earlier, “I wanted to test if this one is smudge proof.”

It isn’t, you know. It’s the reason why you bought it in the first place - for it to smudge. Stain Thomas’ sweaty sticky skin. To leave marks on your own skin, colour transferring from Thomas’ lips to yours. After you’re done with the lipstick, Thomas bites his lips, the red sticking to his teeth. Carefully you wipe it off his teeth with your thumb. Instead of going for your throat, he pulls up your pyjama shirt. He leaves a lipstick mark around your nipple and looks at it in awe.

“I want to tie you up,” you whisper against the shell of his ear, “And leave all those marks over you, so I can see every kiss I left on you when I’m done.”

Thomas puts his hands in front of him, looks at you expectantly: “Please.”

“Here?” you smile at him. “Kitchen table, bed or floor?”

You can see how he tries to find an answer, slightly whimpers when you stroke your fingers over his hip bone. 

“Bed.”

You take your make-up bag and then take his hand to lead him to the bedroom. It doesn’t take much to push him into the sheets, his fingers getting tangled in them.

“Cuffs or rope, bunny?” 

“R-rope.” You can see how he swallows heavily. “Please.”

The berry colour of the restraints in your hands reminds you of the colour Thomas had on his lips earlier but you’re digging deeper, getting the mint green rope. The rope lands next to Thomas on the bed, he plays with it, while you look for the scarlet red lipstick. 

“You’re allowed to get naked, Thomas.” 

He only blinks at you and you put the lipstick aside. It isn’t much to get him out of, you pull the old band shirt over his head when he raises his arms and then you pull down his joggers, there’s no underwear to get rid off and he whimpers into your ear quietly.

“Ready?”

“Yes.”

“Get on your tummy.”

He almost stumbles over himself, almost gets caught in the sheets, before he turns around. You laugh, but it’s lovingly, not condescending. 

“Are you excited?” You take the rope from his hand. 

He nods into the pillow, his cheeks almost as scarlet as your lipstick pick. A quiet sigh falls from his lips when you take one of his hands and tie the rope around his wrist twice, there’s enough room for two fingers you can wiggle under the rope. Then you cross the rope over the ends you just worked on, reach under the bind to make a loop and pull the rope through it, Thomas is still happily sighing. You create another loop and pull again, before you take the end and tie him to the bed. 

“This okay?”

You can see how he pulls on the ropes, how he wiggles, how he gets a couple of fingers of his other hand under the rope.

“Feels good.”

He looks beautiful when you’re done with his other wrist and he lays in front of you - tied.

“Ankles as well?”

He shakes his head on the pillow. Thomas still tests the pull and give of his restraints when you apply the lipstick, you just look at him for a while until he whines and strains his neck uncomfortably to look at you.

You press the first kiss to his right ankle, then the left, you leave kisses all over his calves, his thighs - leaving an ocean of right behind. He moans when you leave kisses on both of his asscheeks, squirms under you, shamelessly pushes his ass closer to you.

“Hey, hey,” you pull away from him. “Only kisses.”

“Not even a finger?”

“No, not even one,” you smile, “And it’s pretty red already, believe me, so no slaps either.”

It’s not that you don’t want to give it to him at all but you aren’t quite sure where you left the lube last time and you wouldn’t leave him alone to go and look for it. The other problem, you don’t really see as a problem, but would leave Thomas too embarrassed would be that he would cum. Doesn’t matter if one finger, or two, or three. He would fuck himself back on them and cum, faster than he would like, embarrasslingy fast and he might not be happy to continue after. You don’t want to end this so soon. 

“I won’t …,” he starts and whines before continuing, “cum. I promise.”

“Good boys don’t lie.” You wet one of your fingers with spit and let it catch on his hole, he only tries to muffle his noises. “That wouldn’t even take you two minutes.”

You withdraw your finger and start kissing him again, the small of his back, his sides, some moles and freckles. Up his lower back. You do notice that he’s biting the pillow, rolling his hips into the mattress but you only stop him when he's seriously starting to rut into it. 

“What are you doing?” You hold his hips still.

“I’m hard,” he mumbles when you gently pull him off the pillow by his hair, lipstick bleeding into the white pillow case. An ear shattering mewl comes from him when you reach around him but before he has the chance to buck up into your hand, you pull away.

“Yes, my bunny is hard,” you whisper into his ear, “But I want you to hold your hips still. No getting off, okay?” 

He would - get off. Rubbing himself against the mattress, against you, furniture, your pillow. You can still remember the one time he was dry humping the pillow next to you. You didn’t ask him to do it, Thomas so horny and desperate to get off that he didn’t realise what he was doing, the only thing that was important was that you didn’t stop him. There wasn’t a no coming from you. The wet spot in his underwear gave him away before the humiliation reached his eyes and spit on his chin before he looked away ashamed. You moan thinking about it, you want him to do it again but you have to store the idea away for another day.

You still hold his hips when you kiss his shoulders. Then his neck, you stroke sweaty strands of his blond hair out of the way. You kiss the shells of his ears softly, Thomas shivering under you. For what feels like the fifth time already you reapply your lipstick again.

“Turn over.”

He’s careful to turn, slow, the ropes crossing and you can see how his dick is straining against his stomach, pre cum on the tip. 

This time you start kissing on the bridge of his foot, then the ankle, repeat your movements on the other side. Before kissing up his calves, his thighs, again. You kiss into his prominent pubic hair, pushing his dick a little out of the way to kiss his belly, his hips, up his happy trail, around his navel before you lick into it for only a second. You leave red marks on his ribs, around his sensitive nipples - on them. On his collarbones. You kiss his arms, his tattoos. His armpits, for a little bit longer, when you lick there he moans and pulls against the rope. You move on to kiss his tied wrists, his hands, his fingers. 

There’s a sniff. And then another. Some heavy breathing.

“Thom?”

“Hmmm?” He looks at you teary eyed.

“You are crying.” You put your hands on his wrists to untie him quickly if he wants to, if he needs to, stop. “Are you okay?”

“‘S good …,” he sounds drowsy and his eyes flutter but he still cries, “good tears, promise. More?”

You press the last kisses to his fingers and then move to his throat. You kiss up to his chin, you kiss the stubble, his cheeks, his forehead under his sweat drenched fringe, you kiss some tears away. You leave a dozen kisses on his nose before you stop.

“You forgot something,” he says sheepishly.

“True.”

And then you kiss him on the lips, his tongue lazily pushing into your mouth. He breathes heavily when you pull away.

“You said everything,” he whines and he pulls on his restraints even more than before.

It possibly feels like hours for Thomas when it only takes a few minutes to kiss your way down again. You take your time to kiss his scrotum, a bit too long for Thomas it seems, because he cums. His leg is kicking into the mattress, and then there’s only a low whimper. You can feel how he’s in a fight with the ropes around his wrists while you kiss and lick up his length and then you place one last kiss on the tip, some cum dribbling out of him and a pitiful whimper coming from the back of Thomas’ throat. You move up quickly to untie his wrists, to pull him close, sweat and lipstick covering him. He just sinks into your embrace.

“Are you okay?”

He nods at your shoulder.

“How are you feeling?”

“Still floaty,” he looks at you - cuddles even closer to you, makes himself a home right where your heart beats, “but … I feel loved.”

“Good,” you kiss the top of his head, “Let's get you some water, and then I’ll clean you up.”

Thomas makes a grumpy noise at that.

“I’m gonna wash your hair and massage your shoulders, I promise. And after we can cuddle.”

“Chocolate?” Thomas asks.

“Yes, sure.” It’s some habit he developed, you already have forgotten how it started. But Thomas who usually isn’t too fused about chocolate would ask for it after subbing. After you put him in a fluffy bathrobe, he would slowly nibble on his chocolate while being hugged. “Of course you’re getting your chocolate.”

“And next time,” he smiles, “I can kiss you.”

.#####.

You shouldn’t be shocked, or surprised, but somehow you are both. It’s the fact that you didn’t expect it, when you should have seen it coming.

There’s red letters on your bathroom mirror. Lipstick sticking to the glass.

Love you!

There’s a heart around it, a lipstick mark next to it.

You can’t even be mad that he used your expensive one.

.#####.

How are there so many shades of lipstick?

That’s what Thomas writes to you one evening. 

How come you kept the liquid matte ones from me?

You laugh.

The next evening Vic texts you, looking for her lipstick, she thinks it might be with you. You have a look in the bathroom before you realise that the most likely suspect is right under her nose.

Ask Thom. And tell him, he has to give it back, he can’t just take what isn’t his.

He’s out but I found it in one of his pockets. Since when does he steal lipstick? 

Slight obsession.

You can imagine how Thomas’ cheeks heat up when Vic will tease him with it later.

Can you show me the colour?

Vic sends a photo of a lipstick tub with red roses on it. Another one, where you can see the colour, a raspberry red - a little pinkish. Another one that shows you the name. It’s matte and liquid. 

.#####.

“I got something for you.”

“Shouldn’t I bring presents from travelling, or something?”

“You will like it,” you smile at him. He will, you’re sure. But there might be a catch he isn’t expecting when you look at his excited face.

His face slightly drops when you give him the lipstick tub. Red roses on white background. The Dolce & Gabbana sign on it. The Dolcissimo name. He swallows.

“You know what this is?”

He nods.

You wait.

“Vic’s … lipstick.”

“No, this is your lipstick. I bought it, it’s yours, you can wear it.” He nods again. “And what do you have to say?”

“Little bunnies don’t take what isn’t theirs?”

“Exactly,” you say softly, “Come here.”

You apply the lipstick to his lips, he looks beautiful. Pretty.  

“I’m sorry.”

“Did you apologise to Vic?”

“I did.” Thomas blushes deeply.

“Good, and now bunny can make it up to me.”

He nods.

“You can get yourself ready,” there’s excitement sparking in his eyes, “And then you can get my harness, choose a size and take one more toy. Then you can get me, I’ll be in the kitchen cooking for later.”

At some point it made click in your head, that the biggest punishment for him is deciding on it himself and some other small thing. Rack his pretty head if he can and wants to take what he chooses for himself. It takes him longer than you anticipate. When he comes into the kitchen, he’s naked. Except for his collar, his cheeks are reddened. He isn’t saying a peep.

“Did you choose?”

He nods.

You eye his collar, you didn’t say anything about it, you aren’t displeased, you almost let it slide completely. You put a finger under it: “Next time you ask, okay?”

“Yes,” he gets out quickly, “Yes, I will. Thank you for letting me wear it.”

Thomas put everything on the end of the bed. He kneels next to it on the floor. You have a closer look. There’s your harness, lube, a condom, a dildo that’s slightly bigger than what you thought he would pick. But the biggest surprise are the nipple clamps he got out. With every passing second he blushes more. You pick the clamps up and let them dangle in front of his face.

“Are you sure about them?”

“Yes,” he looks at the floor.

“Babe, you hate them.” He really does, his nipples are sensitive, he always yelps and looks at you as if in agony. “You can choose something else, you can choose something you like.”

You’re surprised he didn’t go with his usual choice of rope. Or his second choice of a cock ring - there even is a vibrating one that he actually loves somewhere in the nightstand. 

“Can we try?” His voice is small. “Please.”

“Sure,” you get your hand under his chin, “but if this is too much we will change to a ring, okay?”

“Yes,” he smiles, “I would like that.”

You get your harness to step into it. Thomas stretches his hand out before he stops himself.

“Am I allowed to help?”

“Of course.”

He readjusts a strap that twisted, then he adjusts the toy to the o-ring of your strap-on harness. He stays on the floor until you tell him to get on the bed.

“Did you finger yourself?”

He looks at you out of wide eyes. Surprised. It just seems to hit him that this was included in getting yourself ready. 

“No,” he closes his eyes. “Bunny is still good?”

“Yes, you’re good.” You take his hand and squirt some lube onto his fingers. “You can do it now.”

You kiss his thighs, you know that he slid one finger into himself when you hear him moan, and then another one a few minutes later when you hear him mewl. You put some lube on your own fingers, one of them slips easily into Thomas, joining two of his own which he scissors slightly.

“You think that’s enough?”

“Ye-,” a moan rips through his throat, “Yes, I’m ready, please.”

“Good, keep your fingers there a little longer.” He sighs when you pull your finger out. You get the clamps and put them on his nipples slowly and carefully. He whimpers and moans and whines. “Should we take them off?”

You tug on the chain gently. There’s a little silent cry tumbling from Thomas’ lips. 

“Let’s take them off, okay.”

But Thomas shakes his head.

“No?”

“No,” he whines, “I want them, please. I want this, it feels nice … but no tugging harder than this.”

“Okay,” you shush him, “Not harder than this. And when it is too much we will still take them off.”

He watches you when you rub the lube onto the strap-on. Obediently he spreads his legs and he bites his lips when you stretch him out slowly. After a couple of inches you stop, only continuing when Thomas whimpers for more. You go slow on him, and his whimpers turn into moans when you slide in with the whole length. Thomas’ breath goes heavily and he bites his lips when you stop moving, just keeping him full. 

“You’re ruining your lipstick.”

He stops biting, but when you pull out completely, he bites his lip again to muffle his frustrated voice.

“I want you on top.”

You change places. He is over you, and you sitting against the back of the bed, waiting for him. To lower himself down, to get the dildo inside again. You’re waiting for him, he lets it slide back in slowly. He’s betraying his own impatience with how slow he’s going. Before the impatience takes over and he starts to bounce up and down. Hands around your neck. He hisses when you still his hips. It’s the other small thing he hates so much. 

“No bouncing.”

“But …” 

“Don’t move.”

For a minute you both stay still. He’s soft, and whimpering. And sososo desperate. You can see it on his face, it takes him a lot not to move. 

“That’s it, just like that,” you press a kiss to his lips - then to his nose, “such a good boy for holding still.”

“Just wanna bounce.”

You laugh a little: “I know, you’re such a bouncy bunny. But you have to hold out a bit longer.”

He grits his teeth together, everything to just stop himself from moving. He’s impatient, he wants to move. There are whines and growls coming from the back of his throat. You know it’s all he wants to do, just bounce up and down. Have the tip bump against his prostate. 

“You’re pretty when you’re blushing.”

His face and his throat get even redder, the teasing getting to him. He’s trying so hard not to move, to bounce, to wiggle, to grind against you. 

“You’re doing great.���

He loves the praise, his eyes rolling back. The blush isn’t going down, it only gets more, travelling down his chest. The look of his eyes is pleadingly, and he grabs your hand, squeezing it to think about anything else than moving. 

“Now you can move.”

There’s a breath he probably doesn’t know he was holding. He moves, his hips moving up and down. He’s a bouncing mess on top of you, lipstick getting smudged. He’s panting. And he’s so close. His thighs are quivering, his face lit up in pleasure. You tug at the chain from the nipple clamps just a tiny bit, he whines, but he still moves his hips.

“Stop.”

He makes the craziest sound you have ever heard. Alluring. Absolutely pathetic little noise. Still, he stops moving.

“Not fair,” slips out of his mouth before he can think about it. You tug on the chain again. You know that he can’t think straight anymore. 

You give him a short break: “Move.”

He moves, this time quicker, more uncoordinated. You give him a couple of minutes, not enough for him.

“Stop.”

“No …”

He whines, he bounces for a couple more seconds which is why you slap his thigh lightly and then he stops. He flares his nose. You know it’s all so much, too much. 

After the fourth round, you praise him, he isn’t moving. But he’s begging, drooling, the spit running down his chin. 

“Please, pl-please, just, bounce, please.”

Everything coming out of his mouth is a broken cry. His hair is everywhere, his bangs clinging to his forehead, sweat on his chest.

“I’m …,” he shivers, “Please, I’m so desperate. Bunny needs …”

He doesn’t finish. He sloppily starts sucking on your fingers when you hold them out for him. His red lips look beautiful around your fingers. 

“You were so good today,” you smile at him, “You can move.”

Thomas starts moving and this time you don’t stop him. His thighs are quivering harder than before. His breath hitching, his movements uncoordinated. You raise your hips a little bit to meet his movements. He cums with a loud moan when he bounces down and you take one of the nipple clamps off just to have the little teeth snap again. Thomas only slowly calms down.

“Ouch,” he whimpers.

You take them off carefully, Thomas still mumbling. 

“You are fantastic, we will put cream on your poor nipples,” you whisper into his ear, “Such a good boy, I love you.”

He doesn’t make any move to get off you, wanting the feeling for a bit longer. You’re grateful that you took a glass of water and some chocolate from the kitchen earlier.

“Love you too.”

.#####.

Thomas sends a photo of a lipstick to you just before a show. 

Vic’s?

NO

You can see the pout in front of your inner eye. 

Ethan got it from the mua. He said, I’m eyeing it, so I should wear it

It’s a lovely shade of merlot.

Do you want to wear it?

Yes

He sends you a selfie. Thomas in front of the mirror. Lipstick on his lips. He’s beautiful, and he doesn’t rub it off. Only when the stage lights are out again.

.#####.

END.

.#####.

Add yourself to my taglist.  / Masterlist

Taglist: @writingmaneskin, @oro-e-diamanti, @iamtashaquinn, @teenyweenynightghost, @findaqueenwithoutaking, @foreveryking-thatdied, @findoutwhoyougonnacall, @maneskinbrainrot, @little-moonbeam-666, @ethaneskin, @maneskin-dimensione, @l0standn0tf0und, @butkutee, @gr8rainbowpunk, @maneslut, @maneskintifoso, @weareoddlydrawn, @hiraetheral, @imjustanerdwholikestoread, @cuzimitaliano, @hopelessromantic727, @dating-villain, @maneskinsimp, @till-you-scream-and-cry, @wonderlandishell, @h1ppieth1ngs, @paralianeyes, @livvyysstuff, @que–sera–sera, @roisinmillar123, @romanoffswoman, @lovelyy-moonlight, @crwnnjules, @roisinlove123, @whitewolf-writes, @lizzylynch1, @fugg1977, @maneaterdoll, @imposter-27

[fandomfoodiedancer]

Masterlist

So I accidentally deleted my previous masterlist, but I tried to find my fics that were scattered across the hellsite anyway haha. I hope you guys like them! <3

* denotes smut

~ denotes tw content

LEVERAGE:

Eliot Spencer:

It’s always the quiet ones*

Eliot comes out

the proposal job

silent tears~

two in a tub~

the stitch up job , part 2*

the runway job

SUPERNATURAL:

Dean:

weight of the world~

freedom

Sam:

shake it out

ONE OF US IS LYING:

Nate Macauley:

treat you better

5SOS:

Luke Hemmings:

easier pt 2~

untitled*

if these walls could talk (ft calum)*

Ashton Irwin:

your scars make you beautiful~

MARVEL:

Steve Rogers:

untitled drabble~

Bucky Barnes:

safe~

MANESKIN:

Ethan:

pour some sugar on me*

the storm*

[writersblockiskillingme]

If Not For You | Damiano David

Pairing: Damiano David x reader

Summary: As Damiano goes away on the tour with his band mates he has to deal with leaving his home behind. You.

Warning/s: random couple making out, alcohol and that's about it.

Author's note: So English isn't my first language so I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes (I'm really trying). Also, I don't know Italian so if I wrote anything wrong Google translate is taking the blame. Enjoy!

(Y/E/C) - your eye color

"There'll be no summer

There'll be no spring

If not for this love of mine

Thrones without flowers

Bars with no drinks

If not for this love of mine

All this lights

All the parties would just fade out

Shut them down"

It was truly tortures. He was in LA, all alone. At least it felt like that. Snooping around the bars, in the middle of the night. Bars that were literally at every corner of the dark street he was walking on. Vic, Thomas and Ethan were off somewhere else. At some "dumb" party Damiano didn't bother to attend. It was a waste of time anyway. Not that he had a better way to waste it, anyhow.

It sickened him. Truly. Couples were holding hands everywhere. Whispering quietly to each other's ears and laughing at something that seemed like it was the funniest thing in the whole universe. Maybe it was. But he couldn't be bothered at the moment. Some guy and his girlfriend were making out in the middle of the dance floor in the middle of some random bar he walked in. He felt disgusted. Or at least he thought he was.

He walked up to the bartender, ordered a beer and walked off to the corner of the bar. He pushed through the dancing, yelling and laughing crowd so he could finally sit down at the empty table. Damiano sat down with a sigh. He was drowning his beer in silence. The party around him was wild, full of life and youth. He knew that he shouldn't be slouching like someone had died. But he knew that he couldn't help himself. He felt alone. On the band tour, on the parties, even in this bar as he looked at all the people dancing, being drunk and probably high, he felt alone.

Damiano pulled out his phone as he searched for your contact. It was an early morning in the country where you were. He thought that you must still be asleep. Perhaps he should be doing the same. But he didn't. Instead of sleeping in now empty hotel room, he wondered into some lousy LA party drinking his sorrows away. Even though he really doesn't even enjoy alcohol. But he didn't care about that at the moment. He just wanted to be back home. Back in Italy. Back with you at least if he couldn't be home. But you were his home. And he missed you. He wondered if you liked the flowers he send you. He wondered if you even got them yet. Suddenly, Damiano got up. Not caring about the party or the beer, not that he did before. He didn't even bother to acknowledge the couple that he bumped into on his way out of the bar. He couldn't be bothered that the guy was angrily yelling at him to watch up. No. All he cared about was calling you. And so he did.

"If not for you, I wouldn't sing anymore

(Da-ba-ra-ba-ra, ta-ta, da-ba-ra-ba-ra)

If not for you, I couldn't get off this floor

(Da-ba-ra-ba-ra, ta-pa)

If not for you, hell would be knockin' on my door

If not for you"

There were the moments when he felt like all of that fame was too much. Moments when he wondered if he should be doing this. Moments when he wondered was he even good enough for this. Moments when he wondered did he deserve all of the thing and people he has now. There were moments when he felt like breaking down. It was just before the tour. He was in the (Y/N)'s and his apartment alone. Or at least he thought that he was alone. Damiano was sitting on their bed. He hid his face in his head, gripping his hair. He felt a strong burning sensation in his eyes. He didn't let go. He thought that he shouldn't, that it's not worth it. He missed the sound of the door of the apartment opening, he missed his name being called out softly over and over again. Like a broken record player.

"Damiano." he lifted his head then. There she was. Holding the keys of the car in left hand and an empty luggage in her right hand. It belonged to him. He was supposed to be packing the last suitcase, but he wasn't. He left it in the middle of the hallway. He knew (Y/N) must have stumbled upon it and she brought it here. He couldn't keep his tears in anymore when he saw her slowly walking up to him. He smashed into her, pulling her against him tightly. He slipped his hand under his her shirt as he felt the warmth of her skin and smelled the sweetness of her perfume. It was almost like, if he had loosened his grip even a little bit, she would disappear. He knew he will have enough time to miss her for 2 months. He needed this comfort. He needed her in his arms for a little while longer because he knew that neither of them could know when they will see each other.

"Are you okay, amante [lover]." you asked him softly as both of you slowly lowered onto the cold floor. You felt him falling down so you went with him. You felt like that too, anyways. You were running your hands through his hair as you reasted your head on top of his. It was almost if he was squishing the life out of you, but you didn't care. He learned his head against your chest, focusing on your heartbeat.

"You know, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't sing anymore." he said and for a moment he left you speechless. You were about to say something when he interrupted you. You let him. "You are the reason I am here today. You are the reason I didn't give up. You are my motive, my inspiration for everything I do. Sei la mia musa [You are my muse]. Sei la mia ispirazione [You are my inspiration]."

As Damiano continued to clutch you to him, he felt something wet streaming down his hairline. He knew very well what it was. He was doing it, too.

"No more Nirvana

No Billy Jean

No dancin' if you were gone

How could I wake up

How could I sleep

How could I be someone

All those crowds

All the music would just fade out

Not a sound"

Damiano was gripping that microphone for his dear life, it seems like. He felt his throat being sore, but adrenaline was at its highest peek so it was all right. He could see in the corner of his eyes Vic and Thomas playing along with his singing. Ethan was also jamming away with his drums. The crowd in front of him was screaming, dancing, laughing, they were having fun. The band did to. You could fill the high spirit. But you could also feel that something was missing. Or rather someone. Damiano felt it deep in his being. Everyone was here. But there wasn't one person that should be. You. His eyes scanned the crowd. His wild, dark eyes searching in hope of finding your (Y/E/C) ones. He hoped, even though he felt like he shouldn't, that you would somehow be here. Even though you were thousands of miles away, he hoped that you would be there. He hoped that some miracle happened and that his lover would have her schedule cleared so she could come. Damiano hoped, even if you don't come to him, that you ate, drank. That you are taking care of yourself. He hoped with his whole being that you are alright and that he will see you again very soon. Otherwise, he might just come and get you himself.

Just as Damiano finished singing the last chords of their song his eyes unexpectedly found ones he missed so much. At that moment he felt like he was whole again. That the missing part of his sould was glued back to him again. And it was.

There you stood. Practically in front of Vic who was playing in front of the left side of the stage. You were standing next to Leo, looking at him. He felt like he was all alone there with you. Damiano felt like he was dreaming. But he wasn't. You were there. Just like he asked you when he called you three days ago. You were there, looking and smiling at him. Singing along with him. He knew that he was home at last.

->

->

->

TAGLIST

@opal-rugger

JOIN THE TAGLIST HERE!!

[filthforfriends]

Just imagine Ethan as a Dad that would be just *chefs kiss* 💋

I imagine his 4 year old kiddo running up to him with a "drawing" thats just scribbles on a page for the 7th time today. Ethan is sitting at his computer, trying to produce music, but he's also hellbent on encouraging his child's creativity, regardless of how it tests his patience.

So when he hears the high pitched screech of "Papà, papà, look what I made!" Of course the child bursts into the room without knocking and interrupts him mid-thought.

"Ah, okay. One moment," he'd placate while halfway lost in rhythm. (I can so clearly hear those words in his tone of voice.) His kid has at least learned to wait for this. Of course they're also vibrating with excitement, next to some very expensive, very breakable equipment. Ethan can't really focus while worried that his child is going to trip over a bass drum petal and take the skin of their entire shin. This was supposed to be dad's special room, where only grownups were allowed, but he'd broken that rule before the little ones could even talk by showing them his music.

"Aright, what do we have?" His hands would land on his thighs as punctuation while Ethan turned his chair and refocused attention.

"I made a present for you!" Cue piece of notebook paper with a bunch of red and green lines thrust into Ethan's hands.

"Oh, wow. A Christmas tree in May!" He'd act excited and his kiddo would know not to be put off by his almost monotone way of speaking. Thats just how papà talks.

"No, papà its a crab! Don't you see it?" Ethan couldn't bear the disappointed expression that children make when adults don't understand their drawings. He would tilt his head to the side and pretend to have a revelation.

"Oh, now I do! Of course I can see right here" gestures vaguely to a part of the page. "It is clearly a crab, yes."

"That's its leg."

"And how many legs do crabs have?" Ethan gets up and grabs the tape he keeps in the desk drawer expressly for this purpose. He hangs the paper on the one wall that isn't soundproofed next to many other drawings. A composite of his favorites would become the cover art of a future album.

"Six!"

"Almost..." he coaxes, encouraging.

"Um, eight. Like a spider. A sea spider!"

"A sea spider?" he'd repeat, using his most theatrical voice. Ethan would lift his little one off the ground with an exaggerated groan, making them burst into giggles.

"How many claws?"

"Two! Thats easy."

"Alright, do you know if mamma or dad are home, yet, my little marine biologist?" The Torchio household nanny would be waiting right outside the door, ready to take the kid from Ethan's arms. He had made it clear that the children were allowed to interrupt him to give him their art.

"Your mamma just pulled into the driveway." Their nanny would speak directly to the little one, as per request of Ethan and his partners. He wanted his children to be treated like equals, talked to not over. Upon hearing their mamma come through the door the child would wiggle around until set on the ground so they could go running through the house, squealing. Ethan doesn't bother reminding them to knock for the 7th time today.

[sassy-sofia]

Olio di Sangue

Pairings: Damiano/Ethan, Thomas/Vic, past Damiano /Thomas

Description: Damiano has inherited Rome’s illicit counterfeit olive oil empire but things go awry when he faces significant threats from rival factions: a ruthless neighboring Mafia group and Inspector Luca Moretti, a relentless Sicilian cop determined to dismantle his operation. As tensions escalate, undercover operative Ethan, tasked with infiltrating Damiano’s crew, finds himself torn between duty and a growing affection for Damiano. Amidst these rivalries and internal betrayals, Damiano must navigate dangerous alliances and fierce power struggles to safeguard his empire.

Word count: 8,779 (incomplete)

Chapters: 3/?

TW: mafia au, violence, organized crime, arson, child endangerment

Additional tags on AO3

[desiderium333]

Hello, this is me finally rising from the dead after two years.

Due to some personal issues I faced over those 2 years I've decided that now might be the time to continue with this little project of mine.

I am aware that not that much people find Måneskin relevant but I still want to pursue my love and passion for writing via this.

I hope yall understand and will continue to support and follow me and my work.

I shall soon upload my story "For your love" along the taglist and my masterlist.

[spadadargento]

In the depths of the late '90s, along the desolate expanse of Route 101, two disparate lives converge against a backdrop of mystery and menace. Damiano, a conflicted third-generation Italian American truck driver, navigates the open road while wrestling with his identity in a world that refuses to accept him. Meanwhile, Ethan, a tender-hearted male prostitute fleeing his troubled past, seeks solace in the neon-lit anonymity of America's highways. Their fateful encounter at a roadside oasis sparks a bond neither could foresee, as a series of gruesome murders grips the communities lining Route 101. As Damiano and Ethan embark on a journey fraught with danger and discovery, they are propelled into an investigation that unearths buried secrets and confronts them with the darkest corners of human nature. PS. Moustachiano made me do it, sorry not sorry

[lifeofa-fangirl]

@bethanysnow

In the dream I don't tell anyone,

You put your head in my lap.

[writingmaneskin]

Handwritten - An Ethan Torchio Story || Chapter Six

Pairings: Ethan Torchio x OC Character

Summary: Words are magic and when one author pours their heart and soul into something, the Universe just…answers.

Words: 2024

A/N: Tell a friend to tell a friend, we're baaaaaaaaaaack.

THE HANDWRITTEN MASTERLIST

THE MAIN MASTERLIST

kofi || taglist || ask away

The bed was warm and the body sleeping next to her made her feel like it was all a dream. A dream that she didn't want to wake up from. 

Ethan was next to her, his arm draped around her middle, sleeping peacefully, his hair slightly messy from the sleep.

Aurora took a moment to watch him. Counting her blessings one by one. He was there, the man that with each passing second she fell more and more for. Holding her, taking care of her. 

She touched his face very gently, with the tips of her fingers, wishing she could get the courage to kiss him just as gently as to not wake him.

The grip on her tightened only slightly and he smiled sleepily.

She kept tracing his features very gently.

"Why are you up so early?" He opened one eye, squinting at the light.

"I need to go." Aurora pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"Noooooo." He pouted, looking so cute that she felt like she could implode.

"Yes, I have an appointment I need to go to. You go back to sleep." She pressed more kisses to his skin, almost like she was committing it all to memory.

"You are making it very difficult to let you go." He pulled her closer and smiled sleepily. 

"I hate that I need to go but I really have to go to that appointment." Auri pressed another kiss, this time lower on his neck.

"When will I see you?"

"Hm, later today?" 

"Good, I am really getting used to falling asleep next to you."

"I am getting used to that too." She kissed his cheek.

"You covered me in kisses." The sleepy smile did not leave his face.

"Yes, and now you can sleep for both of us." She pressed another one, this time to his shoulder.

"I will. But you need rest too."

"So I keep hearing." Auri chuckled and rolled out of bed.

"Text me when you can." Ethan mumbled, sleep taking over once again.

"I will." 

**

Therapy was exhausting but Aurora knew it was worth it. It was worth it because she deserved to heal and move on in her life, she deserved to get better and have a better life than the one she’d left behind.

“You look better than you did last week, Aurora.” Lucia commented.

“Thank you. I slept really well last night.” 

“That’s positive news. So, what would you like to talk about today?” 

Auri took a deep breath, trying to sift through the thoughts that had been in the back of her mind for the past week.

“My birthday is coming up and I am terrified.” 

“What makes you feel that way?

“It was only the past two years that I got my birthday to be about me and not about other people’s feelings and wishes. Now that I got the courage to start over and be here, I am scared that old feelings of unease and anxiety, and quite frankly pain, might resurface and ruin the day.”

“How did you get it to be about you only two years ago when it was about you all along?” 

“Rationally I know it was all about me, but I always went along with whatever relatives wanted. The last two years I preferred to spend the day with my closest people instead and do what makes me happy.”

“Were you happy?”

“Yes, but there were always consequences.” 

Lucia took a moment, wanting to phrase her words well.

“That is part of your past and the fact that you made it here means that you were strong enough to fight for yourself. Strong enough to make a better life for yourself. The fact that you acknowledge the past struggles and you are worried about patterns repeating speaks volumes already.” 

One of the corners of Aurora’s mouth lifted.

“I haven’t told my boyfriend about my birthday anxiety.”

“From what I’ve heard about him from you, I am sure he will support you to the best of his abilities.”

“I know he will. I am just scared that the mess that I might turn in might push him away.”

“You shouldn’t make the choice for him. Give him the space to see you for who you are and go from there.” Lucia suggested.

Auri swallowed hard.

“Allow people to celebrate you.” 

She unlocked her phone after therapy and saw the notifications on it, only to lock it again. Her mind was full of Lucia’s words. Things were different now, better. There wasn’t anything to be worried about. Worry still ate away at her. 

She walked through the busy Roman streets, not rushing, trying to clear her head enough so she could maybe work for a little bit once at home.

Her phone buzzed again.

“Are you okay? How was therapy?” It was a text from Ethan that brought a smile to her face.

“I think I am okay, just deep in thought. I have something to tell you (nothing bad, I promise) as soon as we meet up.” 

“I am glad it went well. Do you want me to pick you up?” 

“I am almost at the apartment.” 

“Oh. Okay. Did you eat?”

“I had a chocolate cornetto on the way to therapy but I am too nauseous to eat right now.”

“I could bring you some soup.”

“No, I just need some time to calm down really. It will be fine.” 

“Okay, I am one text away if you need me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I think I’ll go to the gym for an hour and then meet with Thomas for coffee and then go see my mum.”

“Sounds like a good plan. Have a good day, tesoro.” 

“You too, cara. Text me if you need me.”

Auri caught herself before she could send “i always need you.”  It was too early for that and she didn’t want to push too hard.

“I will.” 

“Don’t drink too much coffee.” 

“I can’t make any promises.” 

**

Ethan showed up with a bag full of snacks to Thomas’ apartment. He’d freshened up after the gym, gotten snacks and then gone straight to Thomas’ apartment.

“Edgar!” Thomas threw his arms open and hugged him tightly.

Ethan chuckled and hugged his friend.

“You act like we haven’t seen each other in a decade.”

“What’s wrong with me showing you affection?” Thomas chuckled and kissed Ethan’s cheek.

“You’re very perky.”

“I am, life is amazing, how could I not be perky?” Thomas grinned and took the bag.

“I am glad life is treating you well. Does that mean you and Tom are doing well?”

“They are but I am not willing to disclose more at this moment.” Thomas grinned despite using his most formal tone.

“How formal of you.” Ethan chuckled.

“Tom is just…special. I feel like everything is just as it was always meant to be.” Thomas explained as he ripped into a bag of chips.

Ethan looked at him curiously.

“You’re thinking of settling down?”

“And you’re not?” Thomas raised a brow.

Ethan didn’t respond so Thomas pushed on.

“I’ve seen the way you look at Auri.”

Ethan flushed.

“You and Tom are so new.” 

“Don’t change the topic.”

“I am not. I am telling the truth.”

“I lost more than enough time without Tom. I am not going to propose tomorrow but I am also not letting go of Tom anytime soon. Tom is my endgame even if there are bumps along the road.”

Ethan was surprised by his friend’s words. He was happy for him, of course, but he didn’t expect Thomas to be talking about endgames this early in a relationship.

“Are you alright?” Thomas sat down, stretching his legs. 

“I am. Of course, I am. It feels like I am in a bubble of joy.” Ethan affirmed, smiling.

“Good, you and Auri are so cute together.” 

Ethan blushed, making Thomas chuckle.

“How lucky are we, huh Edgar?” Thomas nudged his friend.

“Indeed.”

**

Aurora woke up from the nap because someone was at the door. She had fallen asleep with the laptop next to her - she had been writing ever since getting in from the appointment and she hadn’t meant to fall asleep, yet it happened.

With sleep still lingering, she made her way to the door where she found Ethan, bouquet of flowers in hand and his cutest smile on, effectively melting her immediately.

“Hi.” He leaned to give her a kiss.

“Hi.” She kissed back and stepped aside so he could come in.

“Did I just wake you up?”

“Yup, but I had to wake up anyway.” Auri went to hug him as soon as he set down the flowers. 

“You have been working a lot lately.” He put his hand on the back of her head gently.

“Not more than usual. Ideas just keep coming and it would be a shame if I let them slip.”

“It would be a shame if you work yourself to the ground.” 

Auri held him tighter.

“It’s fine. I promise, it’s nothing I am not used to.”

He kissed her again.

“I was thinking of treating my favourite to some cacio e pepe, what do you think?”

“Who is that favourite so we can have some words?” Auri teased.

“You, of course.” Ethan chuckled.

“Cacio e pepe sounds just like the thing I want right now.” 

“Chef Torchio at your service.” Ethan bowed, making Auri giggle.

“Do you want help in the kitchen?” 

“No, just company.” 

“Alright, I will clean up the bedroom and join you in a moment.”

“Were you working from bed?” Ethan asked as soon as Auri came back and put the tech and the notebooks on the desk.

“Yes.” 

“We should get you an over-the-bed desk, it would lower the chance of something getting knocked over.” 

“Thank you for thinking about this, love.” Auri spoke shyly and he smiled before going over to kiss her again, the term love just making something in his chest swell with joy.

“Of course. Now do you want to talk about what you mentioned earlier that you wanted to tell me?” 

“Oh. Yes! My birthday is coming up and I decided to throw a party!” 

“Your birthday? When?” 

“On the 5th.” Auri smiled.

“Can I do anything to help with the organising?” 

“Well, you can come with me to find a cake.”

“Absolutely. Rehearsals start later this week but I’ll make it work.” 

Auri smiled and took a picture of him at that moment, wanting to freeze the moment in time.

“I’ll light some candles and set the table.” she announced, putting the phone down.

“Amazing. Can I ask something?”

“Of course.”

“Were you scared to tell me about the birthday?”

She froze mid step and looked at him.

“Yes, but because it’s my birthday, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Auri walked over to the candles and took a moment to gather her thoughts.

“My parents used to make my birthday all about them and when I started setting boundaries and actually trying to spend it the way I wanted to, the guilt trips were endless. I have been no contact with my mom for a while now and sometimes it still gets to me that she doesn’t care. And before I stopped communicating with the others, they’d still try to make it about them and said I was being disrespectful. But with time and a whole lot of effort I stopped people pleasing so much and started going after what I wanted.”

“I am proud of you and thank you for sharing with me.”

“Of course.” Auri smiled a bit. 

“You are one of the strongest people I know.” Ethan went to hug her again.

His words brought tears to her eyes. 

“We’ll make sure that your birthday is awesome and if it gets too much, please tell me and I will deal with it, okay?” He tried to reassure her but the tears were still coming. 

“Thank you.”

“I got you.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“I am glad you do. I got you too.”

**

taglist: @iosonoarina @maneskings, @vita-thrasher, @ethaneskin, @chemical-killjoy, @butkutee, @8iunie, @sunflowerpumpkinpie, @ventvnni, @dpaccione, @elvirabelle, @cuzimitaliano, @daddydamiano, @shehaddreamstoo, @moonlight-simp, @iamtashaquinn, @alexxavicry, @tnu-ree, @bigsimpsimp, @ccweasley, @queendorkula

[tempobrucera]

Poetry Dies Last

Pairing: Thomas x Reader; Thomas x Reader x Ethan Summary: Thomas can’t quite believe his eyes when he sees you fifteen years after the last time. And then he's waiting. Wordcount: 3.4k Warning(s): 3k of sadness, alternative ending to All my friends and Let the devil (can be read without the other ones but then you’re missing the happy end) A/N: @maneskings Thanks for loving this story as much as you do <3

Add yourself to my taglist.  / Masterlist

.#####.

Thomas’ seven days of heaven and hell began on a Saturday. 

Someone I loved once gave me a box of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.¹

Thomas reads it again. And again. And again, again, again, again. 

Handwritten into one of Ethan’s notebooks he found in a box hidden away. A box his partner told him to clear out as she explained to him that it would be nice to use the space for something else as if it would and should be the easiest thing in the world for him. Space for something else than his personal baggage, he thinks. 

The whole morning, he went through Ethan’s scribbles while she was sleeping on the couch with their dog only a few steps away. Peacefully slumbering while Thomas went into turmoil. He knows better, he shouldn’t lurk through Ethan’s thoughts or go through his notebooks, he should give them back to him but he can’t help himself.

The Mary Oliver quote he reads over and over again was written by you. He wonders if you knew how this would end when writing it. 

We’re under the same moon and I’m sick with that knowing.²

Ethan wrote it under your quote. He feels sick, and still he wants to go somewhere he hasn’t been for years. Thomas still thinks about you and him with such intensity he worries it became his daily prayer.

She’s still on the couch when he puts the box full of knick knacks away. 

“I’m going to the beach.”

“Let’s take the dog,” she yawns, “And go to the beach then.”

“Sure.” It’s not what he wanted, he wanted to go alone, have time for himself and indulge in memories - the past. Doesn’t look like he’ll have the chance for that now.

She is sitting next to him on the passenger seat, her hand on his thigh. The drive is quiet - no words being spoken. There’s only music coming from the speakers he wouldn’t have chosen himself, some noises coming from the dog. He feels like he has to get out of this car before he slows it down.

At the beach he gets a beer and some fries as he did so often. Sharing his beer with Ethan and sharing his fries with you. Days and nights full of laughter, sand everywhere, and the far away thought that the year is already over when the summer begins. The other thought that he’s still with the people he loves. Now he just looks at the sea, how the water laps against the shore. Nipping on his beer. Just one hand in his lap, his dog walking around them.

Two figures are on the horizon but otherwise this part of the beach is empty this time of the day. They have a dog with them as well. He sighs and prepares himself to leash his dog and for a lot of barking.

“Come here, Cinnamon.” He already takes the leash, pets her head and pleads with her. “No barking and jumping people today, okay? Please.”

His partner laughs next to him, loud and freely, he smiles.

The figures are holding hands and one of them is whistling for the dog that comes closer and closer, Cinnamon happily wagging her tail, ready to jump already. But the other dog changes direction, running away from them again. And then there’s a laugh. A laugh that has his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. The fierceness of his own feelings sets him aflame. There’s too many feelings he can’t shake off. It’s your laugh he hears and for a moment he thinks he deluded himself into making up the voice in his head just to feel closer to you again. But there’s a red umbrella with yellow sprinkles that he thought he had misplaced years ago in a hand that isn’t yours before he sees your face and how you’re holding hands with someone that isn’t him. 

“Bagel, no.” Your voice is ringing in his ears and Thomas has to close his eyes before he can’t take them off you. There’s a smile around your lips, the guy next to you looks like someone he would have tried to befriend if things would be different. “I assure you these people have no food but I have treats. Sit.”

“I wish Cinnamon would do that and listen sometimes.”

He just hums in agreement. When you look at him Thomas’ whole world stops for a few seconds. He waves - just to see if you react but you don’t wave back and for the last moment you look at him he asks himself if you might have forgotten him entirely. You look ahead and he slowly lets his arm sink down. Cinnamon licks his hand before she walks away. Love is humiliating, he thinks, and wonders if the person next to him sometimes thinks the same.

“Someone you know?”

“I must have mistaken them for someone I used to know.”

He didn’t. He is sure. And when he sees a new DM on Instagram, a photo of you smiling at him, he is certain. You unfollowed him years ago, he did the same but somehow he always came back to check on you. Love in the age of followers, always reminded of each other somehow.

Are you happy?

It has been 15 years. A lifetime away, so long ago. Still seeing you walking along the beach, hand in hand with someone else, a dog running around your legs, breaks Thomas' heart. Again. Over, and over, and over, and over. 

The Ouroboros ring is still on his middle finger, like it was all these years ago. There's another ring on his ring finger, glistening in the sun. After all the ring he turns to when he's nervous, when he doesn't know what to do with his hands, he reaches for the one around his neck. It was a promise. Never quite broken, but never fulfilled. 

Thomas reaches for it now. His hand still shaking, he wishes you would have looked at him longer, just for a little longer. A second, a minute, just a moment longer. A moment that would have felt like another lifetime. He was close to following you, leaving everything else behind. His dog trudges over, licks his knee, and lays down in his lap - always knowing when he's about to break. There's a hand on his other knee.

Nothing lasts. There is a graveyard where everything I am talking about is, now. I stood there once, on the green grass, scattering flowers.³

He has read those lines once. In one of Ethan's poetry collections, or maybe Ethan read them to him. Thomas has to think about it now, nothing lasts, and everything five feet under. Him, Ethan, you, everything said and everything locked away.

Happy? He isn't happy, he hasn't been in a while. That was a lifetime ago.

He doesn’t know what you expect the answer to be, if you even want to hear the truth. 

No.

He types and sends it off.

.#####.

When he drives back to the beach on Sunday, this time alone, he is hopeful. It should scare him but he can’t remember when he felt this much hope flooding through his veins and his mind the last time. The windows are down, wind in his hair and he put Led Zeppelin on, so loud that he can’t hear himself hum to the melody.

He gets his fries and his beer. For a second he thought about asking Ethan to join him, even just for the feeling to not be alone. He didn’t ask, he didn’t say anything, Ethan’s notebooks still in the box at the same spot in the house he made himself a home out of. 

But he lets his mind wander back in time. To the times where you and him were watching the sun. When you leaned your head against his shoulder. When you would eat your fries, laugh and tell him from your week. To the times Ethan was there, how Ethan kissed his neck and you kissed his face. To when you went skinny dipping, Thomas splashing Ethan’s face and Ethan dunking him under water in turn and him only feeling safe because your hands never left his body until he resurfaced and he had to cough. But before he could get mad there was always someone to kiss him.

He’s waiting. Waiting for you to appear out of nowhere, to step in his life again like you did the day before. You don’t show up, there’s no answer from you, nothing that would even suggest that you even saw him yesterday.

Thomas would like to stay but he promised to be somewhere else this evening and he can’t wait any longer. He promised Ethan something a while ago and he is sure that everyone else thinks that he has forgotten about it just after saying it.

“You made it.” Vic smiles at him when he sits down on the seat between her and Damiano. Damiano smiles at him as if he knows something no one else does but isn’t saying anything. As expected of him he claps when Ethan is called on the stage and sits down but when he is the only one still doing so Vic elbows him in the ribs slightly.

“Sorry.”

Vic dismisses it with a hand gesture. The whispering from the audience is dying down and only then Ethan begins to speak, book in his lap, glasses on his nose. There’s no introduction, no hello or pleasantries. He just opens the book and starts reading. 

“For the ceiling full of stars.”

Thomas’ hands shake and he clutches to his own thighs. His head spins and he only hears scraps of what is being said.

“Explain the children of the world that they should stop growing If there's one thing no one needs, it's more people who hate themselves.”

He knows he will start crying in a second, Vic takes his hand and he’s afraid to crush it.

“And then explain to the lovers, the constant pain of endless searching And if the tears bother us, explain that they are always part of it.”

There are tears rolling down his cheeks, Vic isn’t letting go of his hand and Damiano hands him a tissue as if he came prepared. The rest of the reading he tries to breathe, his vision blurred from tears. He can’t wait to get out of here, this room, away from people, away from all the words that sting and away from Ethan. But Victoria isn’t letting go of him, even when they are standing up. There are tears drying on his cheek while he watches how Ethan’s boyfriend goes to him, hugs him and presses a chaste kiss to his lips, Damiano puts his arm around him, and Ethan looks at him. Thomas’ eyes are closed when Ethan comes to him, he’s sure he makes a pathetic noise when Ethan wipes a stray tear away from his cheek with his thumb, kisses him on the forehead, and then he hugs him. Slowly Thomas lets go of Vic’s hand and his nails are digging into Ethan’s back. Ethan gives him the book he read out of earlier on stage.

Poetry Dies Last - Ethan Torchio

When he looks over Ethan’s shoulder he can see how Ethan’s boyfriend looks at him sceptically.

But he comes over and gives him a quick hug as well, his voice dangerously close to his ear: “I don’t like it but I guess I have to live with you.”

.#####.

Monday afternoon he takes Cinnamon and leaves the house without saying a word and a drive later he finds himself at the beach again.

He waits, again. There’s hope that he can’t quite explain, he’s haunted with it. There’s love he hasn’t felt in a while somewhere under all the pain. He’s only going backwards it seems. Cinnamon next to him howls at the waves when she thinks they are coming too close to him.

You don’t come to see him. 

His bare feet are resting in the sand that is cooling down from the heat of the day.

There’s something Ethan quoted once he has to think about: I want nothing. I just want the emptiness to mean something.⁴

Thomas thinks he still knows how ice cream tastes off your lips.

.#####.

Tuesday he’s back in the same spot. He stays longer this time, darkness engulfing him. He’s alone this time but he can see the lights of a small port somewhere in the distance. 

Even when you don’t come he knows the lights will still always be there. Somewhere far away but still there for him to see. He would like to know what you’re up to, how you’re doing, where you are. If your dog is in your lap. He wanted to have forgotten you by now but he’s still sitting at your beach waiting for you. 

It’s easier during the day, when it’s light outside. But now it’s dark and the sea is whispering your name. He wonders if you’re still thinking about him like he thinks about you but he’s certain that you’re far from that. The only thing he ever wanted was someone to see the mess he is and despite everything find him worthy to be loved. You and Ethan to love him anyway.

It pains him how much he thinks about you. How much seeing you turned his world upside down again. 

Thomas lights himself a cigarette. A cigarette he stole from Ethan earlier in the day, an old habit resurfacing again. The first drag of the cigarette feels and tastes weird on his tongue but by the third it feels pleasant. He hasn’t smoked in five years. Something his new partner encouraged and wanted, and he just gave in. Too many bad memories of people handling him without care, too scared that love turns into something else.

The lights are brighter than he remembers. And you're gone, forgetting him and kissing someone somewhere else.

.#####.

Early on Wednesday before she even wakes up, he takes Cinnamon and drives back to the beach. Maybe, that little bit of hope tells him, he’s only there at the wrong time. He gets himself breakfast and a coffee, planning to get his beer and his fries later in the day. The dog jumps around his legs when they’re walking along the shoreline. Running after a toy he throws and bringing it back to him, jumping up to encourage him to run with her.

He’s out of breath when he sits down but he has a small smile on his face. It slowly drops off his face when there’s a new text on his phone.

Where are you? Are you ok?

He thinks about his new relationship, that he changed. That he’s bored with everything and has a boring life with boring sex which feels more like a chore than a blessing and with a relationship that only gives him the feeling to not be alone. He still has his bar that brings him joy and playing live which he always loved the most in his life but everyone around him moved on.

Sometimes Vic would sit next to him, head on his shoulder, and say: “I know you grew up but … I miss my Thom.”

He doesn’t want to be that person, boring, bitter and closed off. And he isn’t, he can’t. He can’t let people from the past win over him like this. People who hurt him, people who scared him, people who abused him. Thomas learned that he has to let certain things go, that they are weighing on him too heavily but he still can’t let go of everything. The sand of the beach passes through his fingers. Maybe the longing for something more is his way of surviving. 

Thomas would smile one of his silly smiles. But Vic would elbow him and tell him not to fake it. Not for her. He would feel bad about it for a few moments and Vic would manage to put Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide on, take his hand and dance around with him wherever they were.

On these days he would be himself, feel like he was still 21. Go party with Vic during the night, drink, dance on tables, feel free and like how it’s supposed to be. He would come home late or rather early in the morning, would lay down next to her and think about how much he misses your warmth and Ethan’s lips that would press against his neck.

When he comes back home during the depths of the night he takes the notebook out of the box again. 

“I exist in two places, here and where you are.”⁵ 

He feels exactly like this quote you wrote down in Ethan’s and your collection of poetry quotes years ago. He wonders if you were thinking about him then.

.#####.

He takes Ethan’s poetry book he pressed into Thomas’ sweaty hands the other day. It’s already Thursday but he still goes back to the beach, she looks at him worried when he takes his keys. 

He was never an avid reader, the complete opposite to Ethan, but he wants to know what has been written even when the tears will drip down onto the pages later.

For: The ceiling full of stars.

There’s a handwritten note Ethan wrote on the page in red ink. 

“I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.” - Unknown

Hearts are so easily broken. And I’m sorry, I still go to bed in one of your old t-shirts you forgot at mine sometimes. There’s still songs I put on playlists for you. Playlists full of songs I like because you loved them first. Everything sticks with you in certain ways even if the people don’t and people feel about you the same. I can’t make it sound poetic but the door will always be open if you ever feel like coming home.

Ethan

He didn’t expect the tears to come so easily or so fast but they are. It meant something is the only thing he can think about. 

He’s a shaking mess when he turns to the last page hours later.

I love(d) quite passionately, and always with a hint of tragedy.⁶ 

He almost skips the acknowledgement segment at the end of the book. But his name being first on the page catches his eye. Yours right under his makes his stomach turn.

We could have been okay.

And only then there’s Vic and Damiano getting their thanks.

He’s still sitting in the sand and hoping. It’s time to get his cold beer and fries that are dripping with grease. On the way he thinks about the time Vic told him that she saw you, breaking down in her arms, when he left for Los Angeles with a person that wasn’t good for him and he noticed too late, everyone did. How Vic told him only years later, he thought he wouldn’t forgive her but the one he can’t forgive is only himself.

He wishes he wouldn’t have turned around that day, that maybe he wouldn’t have moved, that things would be different now.

The thought that Vic was right, she’ll break your heart, Thomas. How he has been to hell and back and how he would still say it was wonderful.

.#####.

It feels unreal that it is already Friday again. It’s almost a week since he has seen you. His guitar is on his lap. 

This morning he gave her a kiss and she smiled at him. Tired but happy to still have him there. He felt exhausted. Exhausted from looking for something from someone he knows can’t give him what he needs. Deep down he knows she’s hurting too but she still makes him breakfast and sends him off with another kiss.

“Is he okay?”

He hears Damiano ask. And he hears Vic’s worried voice too. They talk about him as if he isn’t there.

“I think he saw her,” Ethan says, “he mentioned something the other day.”

Later he leaves without saying goodbye, only taking the pack of cigarettes out of Ethan’s leather jacket. He wonders if Ethan knows that he started again, or if she can smell it on him when he comes home and lays down next to her in bed.

And then he's back at the beach. He took the notebook with him and his guitar. He has his beer and his fries and the taste of cigarettes that feels comforting to him in a way he doesn’t understand. He flicks through the pages thinking that it might inspire something heart-wrenching in him.

“And I’ll never see you again, if I can help it In five years, I hope the songs feel like covers Dedicated to new lovers”⁷

They don’t and when he picks up his guitar later, he still thinks about you instead of the woman waiting for him in his bed.

There’s a ripped out page in the notebook and Thomas swears to himself that tomorrow is the last day he will wait.

.#####.

It’s Saturday, the sun is about to go under. His bottle of beer is empty, fries are eaten and he knows he should go home, leave this place behind once again.

Thomas sees your naked feet in the sand when he wants to give up, sandals in your hand, before he sees into your face.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“You came.”

“Yes, did you wait?”

“Hope was stronger than not coming back, I guess.” You nod and then you sit down, next to him, close to him. Like he dreamt of every night this week. He looks down and takes his empties. “I have to get something, will you wait?”

Another nod.

Thomas goes to get another beer, more fries and a Sprite for you. There’s six cans of Sprite in his fridge from this week, just because he knows it would have been your drink of choice on a warm day while he can’t stand the taste. For some reason he didn’t take one earlier.

The guy looks at him annoyed: “Only drinks, sorry, I am already closed.”

“Please!” He fishes a 50 euro note out of his wallet.

“Give me ten minutes.” There’s a sigh and a slight shake of the head but the guy still takes his money. “Some large fries with ketchup and mayo, a beer, and … A sprite?”

Thomas nods. He’s nervous. Nervous that you’re gone before he’s back, that you already left, that you realised you made a mistake coming to see him. But when he’s coming back you’re still sitting where he left you. He sits down next to you in the sand and he hands you the fries and the can of Sprite.

“Thank you,” you say.

“For old times sake,” he says and you put your head down on his shoulder. It’s a little bit heartbreaking. A sentiment reserved for old lovers. For something that used to be but isn’t making it any smaller.

He takes a swig of his beer. It feels like you never have been strangers, not even for a second, it feels like you have been here with him for the whole way. 

“I miss you!”

“I miss you too,” you say, “both of you.”

“It’s too late … right?” He has to ask even when he knows what the answer is and that he doesn’t want to hear any of it. 

You twist the ring on your finger. It’s your wedding anniversary, you shouldn’t be here.

“Yes.”

Six years - he’s six years too late.

“We could just stay here.” He says regardless. “We could just leave, move somewhere close to the ocean and we could just live.”

He knows he’s building castles out of sand but he doesn’t want to stop, not for the moment.

“Sounds like a dream.”

“Can we just disappear?”

You’re holding his hand and your voice sounds tired: "Stop giving me always just that little bit of hope to stay. It hurts so much more, Thomas."

“We could just stay here.”

You aren’t letting go of his hand, you’re still holding it in yours. Maybe there are only endings after the first, everything ends because nothing is endless. Your head is still on his shoulders, he smokes, there’s tears again. And so many memories between you. 

“I’m glad you’re in Rome.”

“There’s a reason why Rome rhymes with home.”

You laugh at his stupid joke, like you always did.

“I want you to be happy, Thom.”

“It meant something, right?”

You sit up and you move the hand that isn’t holding his to his cheek. 

“It meant something, caro. Of course it did.”

Thomas doesn’t expect it and he can’t stop the whimper falling from his lips when you kiss him. He tastes like years ago. But you can’t shake the feeling that he tastes bitter underneath all the sweetness, the promises and the cigarette smoke. Under the surface it’s bitterness and lost chances. Another lifetime. It doesn’t stop you from leaning in to him and to deepen the kiss for how long it takes.

“I will stay,” Thomas says. Still a little breathless.

“I’ll leave,” you say, “And, Thomas? I love you. I’ll have to live with that. And you’ll have to make peace with everything else.”

“I wish it would be different.”

“I know,” you get up - there’s a last kiss to his lips and one to his cheek. A thumb that wipes a tear away once again. “Say hi to Ethan from me when you see him.”

And then you leave. Leaving him in the sand with castles he made out of air. And a ripped out page that has seen better days. 

“Maybe I’ll see you in another life If this one wasn’t enough So much time on the other side”⁸

Is what you have written down. And when he turns it he sees Ethan’s handwriting.

“Missing and silence. Isn’t that enough?”

He could just walk into the water. Wait for everything to go black. And maybe someone would kiss him again. Like all those years ago, after the feeling of drowning. Someone laughing next to him. 

He could and that scares him the most but he just sits there in silence.

“Thank you for stopping by all those years ago and for tonight.”

.#####.

END.

.#####.

For everyone who needs the real and actual happy ending now here you go: “All my friends told me you’d break my heart.”

Let the devil be my witness

Add yourself to my taglist.  / Masterlist

.#####.

Poetry & lyrics used:

¹ The Uses of Sorrow | Mary Oliver

² Elegy for the Four Chambers of My Brother’s Heart | Steven Espada Dawson

³ Flare | Mary Oliver

⁴ The Complete Short Stories (Scribner, 1987) | Ernest Hemingway

⁵ Selected Poems, 1965-1975 | Margaret Atwood

⁶ Not a direct quote but inspired by this clearly: Letters to Sartre | Simone de Beauvoir

⁷ Night Shift  Lucy Dacus

⁸ How Big, How Blue, How Beatiful | Florence + The Machine

.#####.

Taglist: @writingmaneskin, @oro-e-diamanti, @iamtashaquinn, @teenyweenynightghost, @findaqueenwithoutaking, @foreveryking-thatdied, @findoutwhoyougonnacall, @maneskinbrainrot, @little-moonbeam-666, @ethaneskin, @maneskin-dimensione, @l0standn0tf0und, @butkutee, @gr8rainbowpunk, @maneslut, @maneskintifoso, @weareoddlydrawn, @hiraetheral, @imjustanerdwholikestoread, @cuzimitaliano, @hopelessromantic727, @dating-villain, @maneskinsimp, @lauraosheaoh, @till-you-scream-and-cry, @wonderlandishell, @cheese-toastie-11, @h1ppieth1ngs, @paralianeyes, @livvyysstuff, @que–sera–sera, @roisinlove123123, @romanoffswoman, @lovelyy-moonlight, @crwnnjules, @roisinlove123, @chocolatepizzatyrant, @whitewolf-writes, @lizzylynch1, @fugg1977, @maneaterdoll, @imposter-27

[ho-ho-homosxual]

Oh my ducks, thank you for tagging me!!!

Favorite Color(s): Any and all but there’s a special place in my heart for Red-Pink & Slightly Teal Green

Last Song: Bird Song by Florence + The Machine and this very specific clip from a Hazbin Hotel song for an animatic

Currently Reading: Count of Monte Christo for school and various fanfics

Currently Watching: rn I’m rewatching Rewind

Currently Craving: Kinder Buenos 👍

Coffee or Tea: Tea but with near deathly amounts of caffeine

Hobby to Try: Stop motion animation & Cosplay full videos

Current AU: I’m working on my version of Gravity Falls reverse au: Triviality Hights so be on the look out for that

Hello, my moots: I’m here to pester you/hj

@spooki-pooks @solaryayy @chatter-crow @stories-i-guess @gothstarz @bonsai-maze @stormcloudsarepretty @existential-grackle @stanley-the-coolest @ethan-torchios-bitch & anyone else who just wants to do it!

Get to Know Me (tagged by @slingbees)

-------------------------------------------------

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and catch up with

-------------------------------------------------

Favorite Color(s): ORANGE!!!!! but also yellow!

Last Song:

Currently Reading: them Guardians of Ga'hoole books because when I was in the hospital I read one of them.

Currently Watching: I'm going through Red Vs Blue with some friends.

Currently Craving: this peach monster right beside me. don't tempt me.

Coffee or Tea: I haven't been drinking much of either recently, but coffee.

Hobby to Try: Start animating at home.

Current AU: I guess I've been thinking about that Simpsons comic where Smithers gets cloned, fucking hilarious they just start killing each other. Other than that, I don't know.

TAGGING:@sleepypuddding @funkyjunkyfangz @beeframennoodles100 @danklemckspankle @potatoqueensays @notevenhodgepodge @butchbarneygumble @lorogy662 @calpalsworld anyone else too!

[marlena-immortale]

Playtime (Pt. 2): Playmate

Summary: You and Ethan bring your new kitty friend Damiano into the bedroom to play. 

CW: SMUT + FLUFF, mild scratching and biting, oral sex, anal play, overstimulation, threesome, d/s dynamic, pet play, smut involving pet play, also Giorgia is in this but not involved in the play

Word Count: 6.5k

Masterlist ⭐️ Taglist ⭐️ Kofi

“Are you ready for today?” Ethan asks you, fastening your collar gently around your neck. After locking it behind your neck, he seals it with a kiss and brings his hand around to play with the tiny dangling gold heart on the front. 

You nod your head, feeling a little foggy from the ritual of your owner putting your collar on combined with the playtime activities that transpired this morning. It’s always your favorite way to start the day, having Ethan’s mouth on you making you see stars. 

He can tell that you’re slipping into a more submissive state so he does his best to keep you in the moment while still honoring the dynamic you two have. He knows exactly how to walk that line without making you feel uncomfortable when you need to be in public, like you do today. He stops using names like kitty or pet, his touches are more firm where they used to be teasing, and he encourages you to talk more. Talking is something that becomes harder for you when you’re feeling more submissive. You’d rather just stay silent and feel what your Dom wants you to feel without distractions. 

But now is not the time for that unfortunately. Now, you have to stay as coherent as possible. Today is finally the day that you and Ethan have been waiting for and discussing for weeks. Today is the day you talk to Damiano about playing together. Ethan has set up a dinner with you both, Damiano, and Giorgia. You don’t know exactly what they know about this meeting, only that you are to be on your best behavior. 

“Do you remember the rules for tonight?” Ethan asks, stroking his palms down your arms to hold your hands in his. 

“Yes I do. No misbehaving, follow instructions from you, and speak up if there’s anything I’m uncomfortable with. See, I can be good.” You beam up at him, craving parise. 

“You’re always good, sweetheart. Just want you to remember before we go.” He puts the jacket he picked out on you before taking your hand and leading you out the door.

You’re nervous as hell about tonight. What if Damiano isn’t into it? What if Giorgia is offended by the offer? What if they never speak to you both again? What if you ruin Damiano and Ethan’s friendship and the band? All of your thoughts are painted clearly on your face because the next second, Ethan is stopping you from taking any more steps towards the car and instead is bringing you into a big hug.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. I already know Damiano is at least a little interested and we’re so close, nothing like this will affect anything between us. But if you’ve changed your mind or want to call this whole thing off, that’s totally fine too. I can tell them something last minute came up and we have to reschedule, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

You cuddle into his warm embrace. He always makes you feel so safe. “No, I do want to do this. And I trust you, I promise. I’m just nervous and overthinking, as usual.”

“Well that’s okay, you have me to help calm you down and reassure you that it’ll all be okay. And if at any point you want to leave, I’ll be right there with you, okay? I got you,” he says, rubbing your back and leaving a quick kiss on your forehead.

You nod, feeling much better now. He holds his hand on top of yours the whole car ride to Damiano and Giorgia’s house. 

— — — 

You both arrive at their house to Giorgia greeting you at the door. 

“Y/N, Ethan, so glad you both could make it over for dinner! I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I’m so happy we could be here too, we’ve missed you,” you reply as Ethan smiles and takes your jacket off, taking his time to hang it on the rack. 

Their three cats are excited to see you as well, you always give them the best pets. You share a look with Ethan and can already see him trying not to laugh at the picture of you, his kitten, and real cats, and you just roll your eyes. 

“Damiano’s in the kitchen, making his famous amatriciana, come say hi.” Giorgia leads you to their beautiful kitchen, where you lay your eyes on Damiano, wearing a ‘kiss the cook’ apron and stirring a pot of pasta. 

He turns to you with a big smile on his face. He goes to greet Ethan first with a hug and a kiss on his cheek and then turns to you. Your nerves have risen again and Damiano can tell. He just doesn’t know why. You reassure him the best you can by changing the subject after your own hug and kiss from him. 

“Wow, it smells incredible, I can’t wait to try it!” 

At the dinner table, you and Ethan sit close together across from Damiano and Giorgia, who are exchanging the cutest loving looks with each other. You’re caught up in the way he looks at her and you seem to tune back into the conversation at just the right time. 

You hear Giorgia in the middle of retelling a story with Damiano blushing by her side. “It was the cutest thing ever I swear. I knew Dami wasn’t feeling the best that day and then that just had to happen at the event.” She rolls her eyes even thinking about it. “But you picked up on it so quick Ethan. You saved the day. Thank you for making my baby feel comfortable.”  

Ethan gives you a quick look before turning back to Dami and Giorgia. “Baby?” he asks with wide eyes, mostly for your sake because he already knows why she calls him that. 

“Yeahh, he’s my baby.” Giorgia beams while Dami suppresses a smile, staring down at his plate. She comforts him by scratching his hair at the back of his neck while you and Ethan share a look of understanding. Ethan gives that same look to Giorgia and she gets Dami’s attention to give him a sweet smile and whisper something in his ear. You can’t hear it but it seems to give him some confidence because he suddenly gains a cocky grin and a twinkle in his eyes when he straightens his posture and looks directly at you and Ethan before giving Giorgia a nod. 

“We’d love to hear more about your relationship. You’re a gorgeous couple, and as you probably know, we also have a bit of an unconventional dynamic between us” Ethan says, placing your hand in his on your lap and smiling gently at you. You and Damiano share the same shy blush which makes Ethan and Giorgia want to make your slight embarrassment even stronger.

“My baby definitely likes it when I take charge in the relationship, especially in the bedroom.” That part has Dami suppressing a giggle. “He might even have a little crush on you Ethan.” Dami stares at her with wide eyes and she just smiles at him, her thumb stroking his neck still. 

Ethan cuts the tension with a laugh. “I uh, kinda figured that.” He shifts his attention right to Damiano. “But I think it’s pretty cute honestly. I have a bit of a crush on him too. And so does y/n. We both think he’s adorable.” Damiano is beaming under all this praise. “And of course you are fucking stunning Giorgia, we obviously respect you and your relationship. And … we have a proposition.”

Giorgia smirks at Dami like she knows what he will say and they’ve already talked about it. Ethan sees this, ever the observer, and makes the call to continue, sensing it will go in the right direction. 

“Y/n and I are in an owner/pet power dynamic relationship. It’s not 24/7 or anything like that, but we do like to play around with it a lot. As you can see, she is collared by me, owned by me.” Hearing him say that so proudly makes you melt in your seat. You’re too busy reveling in Ethan’s words to notice anything else, but Ethan pays close attention to Giorgia and Damiano’s reactions. Giorgia nods along, listening intently, while Dami’s eyes are wide, looking like a kid in a candy store, barely hiding his excitement. “And recently, we’ve been talking about potentially inviting Damiano into our bedroom for a scene. Again, obviously we don’t want to disrespect your relationship so please, if we are overstepping let us know and we don’t have to speak of it again.”

Giorgia looks at Dami and he smiles at her. Such sweet unspoken understanding between the two. “I’d be happy to let my kitty explore with you. I trust you both thoroughly and think you’d make excellent additions to our dynamic. He’s a very social kitty and would do well with a playmate.” She smiles at Dami who simply cannot contain his happiness and has his arms wrapped around her, probably squeezing a bit too tight. 

“That sounds wonderful,” Ethan replies. “Why don’t you and I talk through some specifics here while our kittens run off to the living room to talk it through for themselves?”

In the living room, you sit with Dami on the couch, both of you taking notice of how your knees touch. 

“So, how long have you and Ethan been doing this?” Damiano asks.

“Bringing someone else in? Never. But it’s been about a year of him officially being my Dom. I remember when he finally gave me my collare, how special that moment was.” Your fingers instinctively got to touch the gold heart at the base of your neck. Dami watches and listens to you, loving hearing you talk about your relationship with such reverence. “It was such a beautiful little ceremony, he told me the sweetest things and said I’d be his forever. And the first scene after being collared, it just made it so perfect. It was the moment when I knew this is exactly what I want for the future.”

“That’s so beautiful. I’m excited to have that moment with my Domme.” Damiano says, his eyes filled with love. 

“When did you and Giorgia make it official?” you ask, seeing that somehow you’ve both drifted closer together on the couch.

“It’s still fairly new, we’re only a few months in with this dynamic. We explored a lot before that, but it’s only been official since then. It was hard for me to truly admit what I wanted. I used to feel weak for wanting it ya know? Men aren’t supposed to want a woman to dominate them. But I do. And once I stopped fighting it and let myself be who I wanted to be, everything started to make more sense. All the pieces fit together. It just feels so right.” 

“I agree completely, it just feels so right when it’s meant to be.” you say, and although spilling your feelings and relating with another sub has been nice, you try to lighten the mood a bit and bring up a new topic. “So… I have another question.” Damiano raises an eyebrow to prompt you to continue.

“When did you bring up the whole ‘crush on Ethan’ thing with Giorgia?”

He laughs, a little embarrassed now. “I didn’t really have to. Giorgia figured it out one day when I got back from tour and every story was about Ethan this and Ethan that, how sweet he was at this restaurant or how much progress he’s made at the gym, or how clever he was for saving my ass on stage when I fucked up a song. Yeah I just couldn’t shut up about him.” He’s bashful, but also seems so happy talking about him. 

“You know, Ethan admires you so much. He loves how vulnerable you can be, especially in your songwriting. He finds you absolutely adorable when you get all stubborn. And he always goes off about how beautiful you look at one red carpet or another. And I can’t help but agree. You really are magnificent Damiano.”

He’s blushing and smiling of course, all his cocky bravado left at the door in favor of his more excitable soft side. “I think the same of you. You’re amazing and stunning, and clearly so good for Ethan. He really shines when he’s with you.” Then there’s this glint in his eye when he goes silent for a second. “And don’t think I’m not equally as obsessed with you as I am with Ethan. There was this one time, you know at the album release party, where you were wearing that one tight black dress, and I could not stop staring at your butt the whole night.” You laugh at his sudden change of tone, there’s the sassy Dami you know and love. “What? I’m just being honest! It’s quite a feat to get my eyes off both my girlfriend and your boyfriend in favor of an ass, but you managed it. Ethan is a very lucky man to get to stare at that ass whenever he wants.”

Both of your laughter dies down as Dami has one more comment to make. “But really though, you two work so well together. I respect your relationship so much.”

“Well, practice makes perfect in relationships I guess.”

He raises an eyebrow and winks.

“That is not the kind of practice I meant!” 

“I know, I know… But also that right?” he gets a mischievous look in his eyes when he sees your shy smile in response. Damiano’s always been the type to spot someone’s true feelings and use them to make the conversation more interesting. “I mean I bet you two have a very active sex life. Am I wrong?” 

Now it’s your turn to blush. “Of course we do. And apparently you’ll be finding out soon enough,” you say with a dramatic wink. You’ve somehow found yourselves even closer together, your knees overlapping as you laugh with each other. 

Your giggling confessions are interrupted by both of your doms coming in and looking at you like they caught you with your hands in the cookie jar.

“Have you two been getting up to something naughty?” Giorgia jokes. You and Dami look at each other, trying your hardest to keep a straight face but you just can’t. You both break out laughing again simultaneously, your joy contagiously spreading to Giorgia and Ethan as well. 

Ethan leads you to the door with a gentle but firm hand on your lower back. Before you can reach the door, Damiano rushes up behind you to give you a big hug before he spins you around for a quick kiss that takes you by surprise. You both smile into it and enjoy each other's embrace as you look on to see Ethan and Giorgia whispering something to each other in their own hug before they part. Before Ethan can come back to you, Giorgia sneaks in to give you a goodbye hug and kiss on the cheek. 

“I hope you and Ethan have fun with Dami, let me know how it goes. If it goes well, maybe I’ll have to join you next time.” Giorgia tells you with a grin in Ethan’s direction, giving you an idea of what they spoke about. Looking over at Ethan, he’s still got Damiano encased in his big arms, stroking his back with his thumb. There’s a new understanding in their hug, like they’ve always wanted to hug like that but have never been able to. All the pressure is off now. Your heart swells at the sight.

— — — 

The next morning, you’re up earlier than usual and decide to get some dishes washed before the rest of the world wakes up. Your mind drifts off as the sound of the water running in the sink drowns every other little sound out. You think of what Ethan and Giorgia could have talked about and how that would dictate how the big night would go. How your mind wants to know so badly every little detail and have some control over it, but your heart trusts your Dom and knows that he’ll make it perfect for you. 

You’re taken out of your thoughts when you feel something warm and wet on your neck followed by a strong grip around your waist. 

“Slow down there buddy, it’s only 8am.”

“Sorry, I just can’t keep my hands off of my pretty kitty.” He detaches himself from you but stays closeby, leaning on the counter next to you and picking up a towel to dry the dishes you just washed. There’s a silence between you for a moment, but it’s never an awkward silence, just comfortable and homey. Until your curiosity gets the better of you.

“So, the conversation went well I presume?” 

“It did. Giorgia and I worked out a few rules and boundaries, making sure all four of us are comfortable with everything. She and Damiano actually talked about something like this before so she told me about that. And we worked out a date that works for all of us.” Ethan puts the dish towel down with no more dishes to dry, your washing being forgotten as soon as you get too enthralled in his words to focus on the dishes. “Do you want to know some more specifics or keep it a surprise for the scene?”

“I want to know!” you very quickly reply. 

“Hmm okay then. But you have to earn it.” 

You assume the smirk on his lips gives away how exactly he wants you to earn it and you lower yourself to your knees in front of him. He smiles but shakes his head.

“Not like that.” he says. You frown, thinking you did a good job, but he quickly corrects himself. “It’s okay, you’re still a good kitty. But I was joking about earning it. I’ll always tell you specifics about a scene if you want to know. C’mere, sit with me.” You both slide down to sit on the floor leaning against the counter. 

“So it’s going to happen tomorrow night, here at our house. Giorgia is going to drop off Damiano and pick him up again in the morning. The scene will start as soon as he comes in and for that night, you’re both my submissives. Sexual play is also on the table. Is that something you’re comfortable with?”

“It definitely is!” “Someone’s a little eager huh?” Ethan teases you. You turn your eyes away, too shy to look at him all the sudden. You are now very aware of your heart rate picking up its pace and the movement of your legs shifting around on the floor. Ethan just smiles and stands up, leaving you confused and pouting beneath him. 

“Are you still interested in your original proposal?” You perk up now, understanding his change in attitude. You rise to your knees, a little too excited to make it graceful, and start rubbing his legs through his sweatpants. Your fingers find his waistband, trying to get them off as quickly as possible. You discover that he wasn’t wearing underwear but choose to ignore this fact for now, instead making it your goal to get him fully hard before touching his cock. With your newfound real estate, you get to work kissing and licking all up and down his legs, leaving a trail of saliva on his thighs and nipping at his hips gently. You watch him get hard as you trace your fingertips lightly over his v-line muscles and suck on the skin of his inner thigh. 

By the time you feel Ethan’s fingers combing through your hair to gently encourage you closer to him, you feel yourself washing into a trance, letting him guide your head where he wants you and letting your vision be filled with his beautiful body. Your lips meet the tip of his cock and you give him the sweetest kisses. Your little licks match the rhythmic pattern of his fingertips stroking your scalp. 

“God you’re so adorable I can’t handle it,” Ethan grunts and you look up, your wide glassy eyes meeting his. “Keep your eyes on me kitty.” His thumb pulls at the corner of your lips and you comply, opening your mouth to let him push inside. His mouth falls open slightly in a soft moan as he sets a good pace for his thrusts while your tongue plays with the underside of his dick as it slides in and out of your mouth. 

“Fuck, baby. Your mouth feels so good. Imagine how much fun we’re gonna have with Dami here too.” You know he’s saying this to rile you up and get you all hot and bothered but you can tell the thought has him excited too. “I’ll have you both on your knees for me, have you both be my good little kitties all night long.” His thrusts pick up in pace as he goes on about his fantasy and soon enough he’s grunting and gasping and holding onto your hair tighter. Still looking into your eyes, he holds himself deep in your throat and you feel him pulse in your mouth as his cum spills down your throat. 

“Oh my God, how can you be so damn cute while giving a blowjob?” he asks while cleaning off some of his cum off your lip after letting you catch your breath. 

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle two stubborn kittens at once?” you ask, still feeling bold enough to push his buttons. He just gives you a stern look that tells you that you better be a good kitten. Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed it.

— — — 

It’s the day of the scene and you’re just finishing up making the bed with all your nice and fluffy pillows and blankets. Ethan has put out a bunch of toys to have plenty of options to choose from and set up a little aftercare station on the nightstand. You and Ethan had a brief talk yesterday with Giorgia and Damiano just to go over everything again and make sure everyone’s on the same page. You’re ready, a little nervous, but ready. 

Ethan beckons you over to where he is sitting on his comfy chair. You automatically kneel down on the fluffy mat that’s situated between his feet. 

“You look beautiful kitty.” You already have on your best collar along with a comfy all-black bralette and shorts set to match. 

Ethan starts giving your chin and jaw soft scratches and your eyes fall shut. He trails his fingertips up your arm and brings your sensitive wrist up to his lips to give it slow and gentle kisses, letting you fall deep into subspace feeling nice and floaty and safe. Inner wrist kisses are one of the easiest ways to get you to fall deep. 

“There you go kitten, just like that,” he whispers and you barely register it. Subspace is always a little foggy at the beginning for you. But the praise still feels nice as his lips trail up your palm and he leaves a kiss to each fingertip. 

Once you’re nice and relaxed and you’re purring as your cheek rests on his thigh, he tilts your head up by your chin, looking you in the eyes and giving you a smirk. You can see the mischief in his eyes and it lights a fire within you to challenge him. He of course knows this about you and beats you to it by giving your collar a little tug before you can try anything sneaky. A smirk of your own grows on your lips as you feel the tingly sensation of excitement run through your veins. 

Just as you’re ready to pounce onto his lap, you’re startled by the doorbell ringing. Your body acts before your mind and you get up to run to the door. You make it about an inch before you feel yourself being pulled back to the ground by Ethan’s hand on your upper arm. 

“I want you to wait and kneel on the bed while I go let Dami in.” He waits until you do so. You pout but still comply. 

At the door, Ethan greets Damiano and Giorgia, stepping aside for Damiano to walk in. 

“Treat him well tonight.” Giorgia says to Ethan before blowing a kiss to a blushing Dami and walking back to her car. 

Damiano is nervous, rubbing his palms together, looking everywhere in the room but at Ethan. Assessing the nervous mess in front of him, Ethan knows he has to take charge right off the bat to make him more comfortable. 

“Come sit with me.” Ethan leads Dami over to the couch and he happily follows, relieved to have some guidance in this awkward situation. He tries to sit with Ethan on the couch but is quickly corrected. “No, kitties aren’t allowed on the couch.”

Dami takes his time getting onto his knees but Ethan doesn’t comment on it, he knows he’s trying his best to be good. Since Ethan has never played with Dami before, he doesn’t know what will get him relaxed like he does with you. He starts slowly, just using his fingers to massage and scratch Dami’s scalp and comb through his hair gently. Ethan hears his breathing even out and his expression soften. It’s working. It finally hits Ethan that this is really happening and that he has an obedient pliable Damiano under him right now. 

Dami starts whimpering quietly and leaning into his touches. Ethan trails his fingers down across his face, tracing his features and taking the time to appreciate them fully. He reaches his mouth and feels his soft lips as Dami finds the courage to look up at him. He can see in his eyes that he’s falling into subspace. He traces his finger across the seam of his lips until they open for him. Dami tries to be good and only uses his tongue to lick his finger but he just can’t help himself. He gets feisty and starts to nibble on Ethan’s finger. As much as Ethan finds this fucking adorable, he has to put a stop to this behaviour. 

“Hey! No biting, bad kitty.” Dami leaves him with one last little nibble before letting his finger be free. 

Ethan leads Dami to the bedroom where you’ve been waiting patiently. As soon as you see them your eyes light up and Dami’s expression matches yours when he sees you too. You immediately lean your upper body down to welcome him onto the bed to play. He takes you up on that and jumps onto the bed with you.

“Careful, he bites.” Ethan warns from the edge of the bed but you  pay no attention, too excited to finally have another kitten to play with. You both stare at each other, waiting for the other to initiate. Some plush toys come flying at the bed from Ethan and both you and Dami go for the same one, a fluffy rabbit toy, tugging on either end to try to win the toy. 

“Play nice, you can share,” Ethan says to you both. You both drop the toy, instead choosing to just toss it around to each other, making a game out of it. 

“Good kitties, I knew you could get along together.” You toss the toy to Dami but it changes course and veers to the left of the big bed. He lunges for it and catches it with his whole body, a big smile on his face when he realizes he caught it. He tosses it back with a little more force than last time and you fall backwards in your attempt to catch it. 

You toss it back and forth a few more times but this game is only entertaining for two demanding kittens for so long. Dami gets bored first and decides to make you his new toy instead. He comes at you with the biggest smirk on his face and determined eyes, tackling you to the bed. You squeal and thrash but he’s stronger and holds you down. 

Ethan decides to help you out, pushing Dami back roughly. You take advantage of your newfound freedom and pounce onto Dami, pinning him down with your arms and legs. You think you have the upper hand now, with Dami struggling under you, but he breaks free and rolls you onto your back once again pinning you down. This time he just watches you struggle and whine with a smirk on his face. He waits until you’re too tired to keep fighting him and leans down to gently kiss the tip of your nose. You giggle and scrunch your nose at the unexpected affection. 

Ethan just watches with hearts in his eyes at the adorable show you two are putting on. He lets you both get comfortable with each other, which seems to be quite effective, and lets you get some energy out together before he has his way with you. 

Once you’re both tired out and snuggling into each other like little kittens when they’re about to nap, Ethan climbs onto the bed and your energy is somehow immediately reinvigorated. He sits back on the bed and lets you both lean against him as you play a little more. Dami’s paws start wandering on your body and you’re getting a little worked up from it. Ethan can definitely tell by your warmed skin against him and the way you lean into Dami’s touches. 

“Would you like some help to relieve that tension?” Ethan asks you and you smile up at him. You hear a whine and look over to see Dami with a big frown, so hurt that he wouldn’t offer that to him too. 

Ethan laughs, asking, “would you like a helping hand as well?” to Dami. His eyes light up as he nods enthusiastically. You look at Ethan, then at Dami, then back to Ethan, waiting for his guidance on the next step. 

Ethan starts petting Dami on the back of his neck and Dami melts, leaning in and silently begging for more of his touch. He encourages Dami to keep touching you by placing his paw over your breast. He touches you, and he’s so gentle with you. It’s adorable but frustrating so you push his hand into your chest for more. He takes the hint and starts kneading your breasts just right and playing with your nipple through the fabric. Ethan’s strokes travel down Dami’s chest and he matches him by giving his nipples a little attention. That gets Dami a little too worked up though, and he accidentally scratches you across your ribcage. Ethan is immediately ready to act and correct his behavior, but you throw your head back, letting out a loud moan, and he calms down, seeing that you liked it. Dami is spurred on by your reaction and finds new places to lightly scratch on your body to hear your reactions. 

You finally feel brave enough to touch Dami too, running your hands along his sides, up his shirt and toying with the waistband of his pants. It’s gentle and cute and you keep it up when you hear the encouragement of his moans and gasps. You learn very quickly just how loud and dramatic Dami can be, writhing and the lightest touches already. But you love it, it’s nice to hear when he likes what you’re doing to him. Ethan seems to like it too, joining in on the fun with his own touches to the both of you. His touch is more firm and less curious than Dami’s. And more determined. His hands are the ones to begin removing clothes. 

Dami leans in and kisses your neck, his confidence bringing out your own so you show him exactly where you like it and give him soft moans when he shifts there. His kisses turn into nibbles and sucks and it feels so good, your body arches into his. He keeps going until he decides he wants more fun and bites a little too hard and you yelp from the surprise. Within a second, Ethan pulls him off your neck by his hair and Dami whimpers, scared of what Ethan could do to punish his brattiness. 

Ethan can tell how scared he is and laughs a little, determining that his fear is enough of a punishment for him. “How about you put your mouth to better use?” Ethan pushes his head down between your legs. Very excited about the turn this took, Dami gets right to licking and is so happy to be there, tongue out and ready to please. He’s good at it too, like his mouth was made to eat pussy. His tongue softly laps up all your wetness and his lips encase your clit, sucking gently before dipping back down and pushing into you. 

“Use your fingers too, pretty kitty, that’s how she likes it,” Ethan instructs, petting his hair. Dami obliges, stroking his middle finger down your pussy until it sinks deep into you. After a couple thrusts with just one, he adds another thick finger to stretch you out while his lips and tongue continue their magic on your clit. You let out little whimpers and soft moans, letting yourself drift into a happy blissful state of only pleasure. 

You can feel vibrations in your pussy and hear Dami moaning too. You open your eyes to see Dami, with his face buried in your pussy and his back arched with his ass up. You can just barely see Ethan behind him, his head moving as he licks Dami’s asshole. Your focus is shifted down as you also notice Ethan’s big veiny hand jerking Dami off slowly. The sight is too much to handle for your foggy little brain and you pull Dami in even closer. Ethan reaches out with his free hand to hold over your paw and it comforts you. 

Dami sees this and gets jealous, deciding the right course of action is to be a brat again, he takes both his fingers out of you and only just barely brushes his lips against your pussy. You whine out and Ethan catches on to what he’s doing so he punishes him by stopping his stimulation altogether. 

“Dami, be a good kitty and make y/n feel good and you’ll get your reward. Good kitties finish what they started.” Ethan waits until Dami gets back to work, but not before giving you a teasing long lick and letting the cool air of his breath hit your sensitive pussy first. That one gets him a quick slap on the ass from Ethan which spurs him on to give his very best to you. 

You can feel yourself getting closer with each stroke of your g-spot and lick of your clit. Your moans get higher pitched and your pussy clenches onto Dami’s fingers. Your mind is filled with the beautiful sounds of moans and whimpers and you feel tingles all over your body. Your legs are pushed open by Dami. You didn’t even realize you were shutting them. You pay no attention to how loud you’re being or how your body bucks and leans into the pleasure, just letting yourself go. The feeling builds in you and Ethan squeezes your hand as you release and cum onto Dami’s mouth and fingers, your hips humping his face as your orgasm runs through you. 

Quickly after your orgasm, you can feel Dami cumming onto the sheets beneath him with a moan so loud it could be a scream. He bucks into Ethan’s hand and you watch his cum shoot out, wishing it was shooting into you instead. His eyes roll back as the last of his orgasm washes over him and he falls onto your pussy when Ethan’s overstimulation becomes too much for him. Your pussy is just too sensitive right now and Dami’s face smushed into you hurts a little but he’s still recovering so Ethan has to step in and remove him by gently pushing his chin so he’s resting on your thigh instead now. 

You hear Ethan laughing and look up to see why and are greeted by the sight of Dami’s entire blissed-out face covered in your wetness from face planting into your pussy. It’s very cute seeing him like that. 

“Aww, my little kitty got too enthusiastic huh? Well that’s okay. I have another kitty right here to clean up your mess.” Ethan looks at you. You lean in and lick off your own wetness from Dami’s cheeks and his nose and everywhere else it ended up until he’s nice and clean and back to reality, playfully swatting you off as you giggle, trying to finish the job. 

As you both settle into the bed, like the happily satisfied kittens you are, Ethan reaches over to his aftercare table he set up to get some snacks. He picks up a bowl of cut up fruit and feeds you both, alternating between bites so no one gets jealous. 

When you’re done, you lick the fruit juices off of Ethan’s fingers happily like a good kitty. Dami on the other hand, nips at his fingers. Ethan doesn’t have it in him to scold him during aftercare so he just removes his fingers from his mouth and sets down two bowls of water on a tray. You and Dami lean down and lap up the water greedily. 

Ethan puts everything away neatly and then gets under the covers, pulling you both with him. “C’mon, let me cuddle with my cute little kitties now.” You and Dami each rest your heads on either side of his chest and meet in the middle for a kiss before settling into the cuddle. But, Dami can’t stay still for too long. He whines and paws at Ethan’s chest, basically humping his hip. 

“Just like a cat in heat.” Ethan teases, trying to calm the restless kitten. “Y/N, you’ve been a good kitty tonight, like always,” Ethan tells you, knowing how much you thrive off of his praise. Dami pouts, wanting some praise of his own. “Well maybe if you behave, I’ll call you a good kitty too,” Ethan scolds him, but his words don’t hit too hard as he smiles and continues petting Dami even as he says them. “But even if you were a brat, I loved getting to play with you. And I know, deep down inside, you’re a good kitty.”

Ethan gives you each a sweet kiss before you all succumb to the exhaustion from your scene, falling asleep all tangled up in each other. 

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Taglist: @little-moonbeam-666 @stardustingold @iosonoarina @maneskindiva @ohdamiano @maneslut @theimpossiblehologramtree @iamtashaquinn @till-you-scream-and-cry @snakesofindia-sursesaji @noeprd27 @que--sera--sera @bethanysnow @brookeraggi @shadowy-lady-collective   @itsmaneskinbitch @h1ppieth1ngs

[sassy-sofia]

Let’s Get Physical

Paring: Ethan Torchio x Thomas Raggi (Ethmas)

Description: Thomas, feeling insecure about his slender frame, asks Ethan to be his personal trainer. However, they might have different views on what a workout should entail.

Word count: 2,163

Rating: explicit

Tags: smut, inappropriate use of a bench press, bttm Thomas, top Ethan

Additional tags on AO3

[bethanysnow]

your name: Beth

your age: 24

your first fandom(s): Supernatural, Sherlock, Ouran Highschool Host club, Black butler, FMA, and one direction

how did you first get into fandom? My family was already “Nerdy” my mom loves Star Trek, my uncle loves Lord of the Rings and DND. So it wasnt a hard leap? I just found a lot of fandom through looking up my hobbies? Like I really liked Black Butler for a long time and so fanfics would pop up and that lead me to cosplay and that led me to AMVs and that lead me to those spaces for the other things I liked.

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? Probably for over 12 years

how often do you read fanfics? Almost everyday

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Eddie Munson, (And tecnically the three oc’s ive made based off of Joseph Quinn, Jamie Campbell bower, and the main OC) I also follow a lot of RPF, (If thats not you’re thing cool, but it is mine so shhhh lol)

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! Yes I have written a plus size reader! x Ethan Torchio fic that tended to be very popular with that sphere of people which was fun. I also wrote/am writing though its on break right now a ‘crying on prom night’ fic with Eddie Munson.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Yes

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: DEAN WINCHESTER AND EDDIE MUNSON DATE FAT GIRLS!!!

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? Depends on the show, or what it is, and who im talking to. But show the hot characters, funny memes from it. Talk about it often.

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? Oh dear, could write a whole thing on this. But I will say, its a lot harder now in society to find community and village esk communities where we all help each other and love and share and build great works. We no longer on large scale make culture, we curate and reproduce things that have been made already. In fandom we can do this though we make culture. As more than just a subculture, it is a way of existing in knowing you are not weird or crazy or not normal. You can find people who get equally excited about the thing you are excited about. And keysmash at one another! its great! This social and almost philosophical response to talking to people at a town square that is internet billions big has the privacy and intimacy of a coat closet because its fandom. Some of the best relationships ive had are from fandom, some of the worst ive made are from fandom, it really is about the spectrum and scale balance of personal vulnerability which Fandom allows you to have. 

I tag @que--sera--sera​ @lifeofa-fangirl​ @marlena-immortale​ @maneskinbrainrot​

Thank you @depressedstressedlemonzest for the tag! ^-^

TAG GAME WEDNESDAY: FANDOM EDITION

Thank you @juliakayyy @stocious for the tags!

your name: Lem

your age: 31

your first fandom(s): The first real Fandom experience I had was with Good Omens. Like as a kid I liked the Hunger Games and such, but Good Omens was the first one I actively started reading fanfic and fandom for.

your current fandom(s): Shameless and Stranger Things

how did you first get into fandom? I wanted more Good Omens content after finishing the show. And I was like "hmm I've heard of this tumblr place" the rest is history.

how long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? four years I think!

how often do you read fanfics? at least one a week, it would be more but my brain hits me

top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Mickey, Ian, from Shameless, I can't decide on a third between Fiona, Iggy, and Kevin. Stranger Things, Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham, Steve Harrington

have you ever written a fic for a fandom? if so, shout it out! Yes! Good Omens, Shameless, Stranger Things.

have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? I've done some art bits for Good Omens on the computer, and then more crafts with Gallavich after joining @gallacrafts

share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: God I have so many. I can't list all the TOP ones.

you’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? The florist scene, that's what got me to watch it. Seeing it all over tiktok.

and finally, what does fandom mean to you? I have people I care about and enjoy that like the same things I do, and I never really had that. I have more friends out there than I know.

I'll tag, @bethanysnow @witchboywitchboywitchboy @trans-alpha-male @ian-galagher