#MORE INTERNAL SCREAMING

[greenbookreclaim]

BIG NO. My brother just poured used cooking oil over the cat food. I wouldn't even have that much vegetable oil in a week! Wft. Then he pulled the 'Lets agree to disagree' attitude. The 'I think you're wrong and I'm right.' Idiot, it's a biological truth. Don't justify it by saying the cat is eating it. A CAT WOULD DRINK ANTIFREEZE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

[gatoiberico]

parfait pals

[sunlit-mess]

it's not even half the percentage

[elvyn]

Fancy ✨

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[avourel]

i'm not going to write it but i'm wondering how a Binghorse crack AU would work @meltedmush

my first idea was showing the one individual Binghorse that decides he wants to cultivate and how he joins Cang Qiong

but then it occurred to me how much funnier it would be from SQQ's perspective, if he thinks he's just transmigrated into canon PIDW and suddenly this nightmare creature that seems to have eaten the protagonist and only left his face hanging out shows up at the door of the Bamboo house

[lilithofpenandbook]

Dumbledore saying Snape was no more of a death eater than he is actually very significant considering the fact that he and Snape essentially have the exact same story- got interested in dark arts, got groomed/manipulated into doing bad things with said dark arts, and then the death of a loved one that's indirectly their fault too, and then never forgiving themselves and devoting life to redemption/repentance.

Dumbledore could have said Severus Snape is no longer a death eater. Just that. But he compared Snape to himself. In this essay I-

[gophergal]

Y'know, I think that bed might be too small

[sapphoismymuse]

legolas and gimli are those friends who go “idk i’m fine with whatever you choose” when you try to ask them where they want to eat while aragorn is internally screaming

“I said that it was a hard choice,” said Aragorn. “How shall we end this debate?”

“You are our guide,” said Gimli, “and you are skilled in the chase. You shall choose.”

“My heart bids me go on,” said Legolas. “But we must hold together. I will follow your council.”

“You give the choice to an ill chooser,” said Aragorn.

The Two Towers, J. R. R. Tolkien

[heatherfield]

♪ There's something in the wind today That's good for everyone Yes, faith is in our hearts today We're shining like the sun And everyone can feel it, the feeling's running deep After all, there's only one more sleep 'til Christmas ♪

The Muppet Christmas Carol

[completeoveranalysis]

[5]

GRAB LITERALLY EVERYTHING AND THROW IT ALL OUT THE WINDOW LET’S TRY THINK ABOUT THIS

THEY FINALLY DID IT

THEY FINALLY CONFIRMED THAT ALL THE WEIRDLY ALIGNED FACTS JUST DIDN’T ALIGN NEATLY ENOUGH FOR ALL THE HINTS TO BE REAL

CARDCAPTOR SAKURA IS NOT LAVA LAMP’S MOTHER

DESPITE EVERYTHING

BUT THEY MET ONCE 

And I’m just going to lie down and have to force all my thoughts to be back in line with reality for a while how do I do that. 

SO.

Confirmed: Here is Cardcaptor Sakura

Cardcaptor Sakura HAS MET Lava Lamp’s mother, in the dream realm

It is a little difficult to gauge exactly how old she is from here but it’d definitely have to be after the Cardcaptor Sakura manga. And most likely after Clear Card in the timeline, even though that didn't exist yet. She looks a lot older - and Clear Card is only a few months after the original manga, rather than years. 

Anyway. What a way to find out that I have to make even more charts than I was already doing. 

[backpackingspace]

Wait going off the idea that Athena keeps things from her favorite people:

What does diomedes give her?

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

…What’s this?? WWX not being a self-sacrificial idiot??

It’s almost like… that isn’t a personality trait…

[lesbicosmos]

GOOD OMENS 2 TRAILER AAAAABDBDHGD

[sualne]

artists who post a lot of nsfw art are so so strong cause shit is stessfullll

[evevoli]

sitting here full on weeping on a friday afternoon because oh my god it's just all about grief in the owl house isn't it. all of it. it's all about the love that's left behind and who we choose to become with it.

i just. god. jesus fucking christ it's about how the world quite literally starts and would end in the loss of a father; it's about how the world was created by the titan leaving his son behind. it's about how the world nearly ended by caleb dying before meeting the child he was expecting. it's about how the world was saved by the last gift luz's father left her. it's about how we have the choice to move forward in spite of the loss or stay trapped behind, to accept and open your heart to new love or to deny and twist their memory into something grotesque. it's about how nothing within the plot of the owl house would even exist had three men not died, had three fathers not been forced to leave their children behind. are you listening look me in the eyes.

i'm a wreck in here like. in the end isn't it all about love. isn't it all about loss. in the end aren't they one in the same. i need to lie down