#THAT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SHE’S TALKING TO HER CHILDREN

[soft-beams]

you and me (let's make something great)

author's note: so i had an idea, and originally, it was gonna be a ficlet mainly focused on debauchery. BUT THEN my brain decided to turn it into something longer with plot, so here we are. it's very soft in the first bit but don't be fooled, it gets filthy as it progresses. please enjoy!

cw: gp!vi, afab!reader, pregnancy talk, breeding kink, dirty talk, nsfw 🔞 (primarily in the second part)

wc: 3.3k

dividers: @/cafekitsune

part i: let's talk about it

There’s always been talk of starting a family.

Kids with the white picket fence and a garden large enough for them to run around. Maybe a dog or two and a cat because you’ve always spoken about how much you want one. It’d be everything that’s so simple and expected of a family, something so ordinary that it’s almost laughable. But you and Vi never had the opportunity to experience what the ordinary family is.

She grew up an orphan with only her sister by her side, only able to survive due to Vander’s kindness.

You had your own set of problems; a family that didn’t listen or could listen but choose not to.

So to have a family where you can give your children the life you weren’t able to have, that means the whole world and more.

Vi toys around with the idea of asking you again, about the possibility of starting your family as soon as possible. You’ve been together for ten years and married for two, and life has never been as perfect as this.

You’re both doing well at work, bills are being paid on time and there’s even some savings in your joint account. Even savings to potentially look into starting something if that is what you want.

You’re swaying around the kitchen, speakers blasting your playlist as you cook up dinner for tonight. You’ve settled on a simple pasta dish, warm and spicy with delicious herbs. The sauce is bubbling away on the stove and your hips follow the stir of your wooden spoon. You bring the spoon up to your lips, blow gently before having a taste. A hum leaves your lips as your eyes flutter shut, pleased with what you’re creating.

Vi’s enchanted by you and one might call her silly, to be captivated by you merely making dinner. But it’s the mere act of it, the domesticity of it all and how you show your love through everything you do. Even if it’s cooking a dish that you’ve both eaten a hundred times before.

That’s what being in love is and Vi is greedy to share that with someone who’s both her and you.

“Taste this for me?” You ask, facing where she’s sat at the kitchen island. Vi’s quick to hop off her stool and make her way towards you. Her arms encircle you the moment she gets close and your smile brightens at the touch. You lift the spoon up to her lips and even though she knows it’s delicious, Vi goes in for a taste. She mimics your pleased hum from before, swaying you to the slow beat of the song that now plays.

“Babe, you crush it every time,” Vi reveres, causing you to roll your eyes fondly. “How do you do it? Were you a famous chef in your past life or what?”

“It’s pasta sauce,” you respond, voice deadpan but expression vibrant. “The same pasta sauce we’ve been making for five years and can make with our eyes closed.” You turn around in her arms so you can attend to the sauce, Vi taking this opportunity to latch onto your back. She nuzzles into the curve of your neck, pressing a kiss into the sensitive spot there just so she can feel you shiver. “It’s hardly Michelin star worthy.” You pause. “Wait, can dishes be given Michelin stars?”

“Fuck if I know,” Vi murmurs, hooking her chin over your shoulder and settling in. From here, she can see a pot full of water boiling for pasta and the sauce thickening nicely in its pan. “So I want to talk to you about something.”

“We can’t go to the water park next week,” you say, amused. “We’ve had this discussion like six times and as much as I would like to go and hit the wave pool, there’s no—”

The laughter that bursts out of Vi’s mouth is enough to hurt her chest. But it doesn’t stop her from cackling, burying her head into your shoulder in an attempt to muffle how loud she is. She can feel the shaking of your body and hear your lovely laughter as you join her, fully leaning into her chest for support.

“No, you idiot,” Vi manages to say through her chuckles. “Oh fuck you, this was supposed to be a serious thing.”

“Why do you think I said what I said?” You retort playfully and Vi falls even more in love with you, as if that’s even possible. “But tell me what’s on your mind, baby. What’s going on?”

Vi takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second to gather herself. When she opens them, you’re turning off the burner for the sauce and reaching for the fettuccine to the side. Just as you’re pouring the pasta into the bubbling water, Vi’s thoughts spill out.

“I want to have a family with you.”

You go still for a moment, your arms poised above the boiling water with the empty pasta box in your hands. Vi’s unable to see your face but she isn’t necessarily worried about your reaction. It’s a conversation that you’ve had multiple times over the span of your relationship, but today is where you start taking steps towards putting it in action.

“Well, yes,” you start, placing the pasta box back on the counter. Then you’re turning in her arms so you’re facing each other again, your eyes peering into hers. “We’ve spoken countless times about this.” You smooth your hands over the rounds of her shoulders, your face soft. “I’m still very much onboard with this because I want to have a family with you too. But I’m guessing you want to talk about a timeline.”

Vi nods, momentarily speechless because you always just get her, even without her having to say anything. She pulls you away from the stove to sit you on one of the kitchen island’s stools. She notes how you eye the pasta and makes a mental note to attend to the pot after five minutes.

“We always did say that we’d really start considering it once we’ve gotten our lives sorted,” Vi says, standing between your thighs. “And I’d say that our lives are pretty solid. We’re no longer in debt and we’ve got a decent amount saved away.” Her fingers play with your hair, causing you to lean into her touch. “So I thought that now would be a good time to try.” Vi then shakes her head. “Obviously, it’s your choice because it’s your body and I’d never want to pressure you into doing anything because of me and—”

Vi doesn’t notice she’s rambling until you’re pressing your finger against her lips, fond amusement colouring your features.

“I married a good woman,” you say, so tender that Vi feels her heart swell so much that it hurts. It presses against her ribs, pushes up on her lungs making her breathless. It makes her cling to you, hiding her head into the curve of your shoulder. Your hands come around to run soothingly down her back and she melts. “I know it's my choice, baby. You've never made me feel like it wasn't.”

Despite Vi knowing that, the relief that hits her is cool and instant. It's always nice to hear that she isn't pressuring you; that she's allowing you to make your own choices regardless of what she wants.

“I've always wanted to have children with you,” you continue, still running soothing patterns down her back. “That's something that has never changed and probably never will.” You then lean back and Vi's graced with the excitement in your beautiful eyes. “I imagine a little kid who's a mixture of me and you. Maybe my hair and your eyes or vice versa.”

“I hope they get your personality,” Vi says softly. “That they get your kindness and empathy. Your patience and wisdom.”

You laugh quietly, closing your eyes to hide from the blinding of Vi's earnest gaze. You're embarrassed, she can tell, and that makes this moment all the sweeter.

“Well, I hope they get your strength and conviction,” you reply, tilting your head up so the tip of your nose catches the softness of Vi's cheek. “That they get your loyalty and ambition. Your sympathy and empathy.”

Vi's cheeks burn at the compliments you dress her in. Compliments that you would call truths because that's how you see her. Even under all the mess and mistakes, you see the diamonds that rest beneath the dirt.

She'll never understand why someone as special as you forever wants to be with her.

“So…what are you thinking?” Vi asks, eager to see where your head’s at. She watches as you purse your lips with a hum, eyes rolling upwards to stare at the ceiling in thought. Then you’re looking back at her with a smile and that’s how Vi finds her answer.

“Really?” Vi has to double check, to be sure that you’re both on the same page; that this is what you want to do from this moment.

“I’ve been wanting to suggest it for a while but—Violet!” You exclaim out of surprise, laughter startled from you when Vi pulls you in for a tight hug. But your arms are wrapping around her instantly, holding on with a solid grip.

“Thank you,” Vi whispers into your neck, planting a delicate kiss over your pulse. “Thank you so much.”

“No need to thank me,” you say quietly, returning the kiss to the curve of her ear. “I want this too.”

Vi nods and gives you a firm squeeze before pulling away, but not too far so she can still keep you in her arms. She’s so overwhelmed; there’s so much she wants to say but all of it is tied at the back of her throat. The words aren’t coherent but they have meaning and Vi will try all she can to convey how precious that meaning is.

“Okay so,” you begin after you both sit in relaxed silence for a while. “I love you so much and you’re my everything but if that pasta’s mushy, I’ll never forgive you.”

“You lie,” Vi replies, nuzzling at your cheek. “You love me too much to hate me.”

“But I love pasta more,” you tease, your soft laughs muted by the gentle press of Vi’s lips against yours.

The pasta has gone soft but you don’t seem to mind, all too distracted by Vi's sweet kisses.

“So you’re officially trying for kids now?”” Jinx says one afternoon in the small cafe they often frequent. It's raining outside and there's a chill in the air that seeps into your bones and makes you want to stay in bed. That's where Vi wishes she was now, all curled up underneath the sheets with you.

“Yeah, we had a proper talk about it a few days ago,” Vi says. “Not that all the other talks weren't proper but our plans didn't have a start date.” She swirls the remaining dregs of coffee in her mug. “Now we're both ready and soon there's gonna be a kid in the picture.”

Jinx hums, taking a sip of whatever iced concoction she's gotten today. “I mean, it's a big thing,” she says around her straw. “Bringing a small human into the world. Plus babies are kinda gross with their uncontrollable bowel movements.” Her nose scrunches up. “Not to mention the crying and screaming and inability to talk for the first two years.”

Vi shrugs. “Yeah, but I don't give a shit about any of that.”

“Well, duh. Because you're with someone who's gonna make it worthwhile,” Jinx replies matter-of-factly. “It's kind of like being in love with the person of your dreams makes you more tolerable to things. Shocker.”

“You're already falling into your Cynical Aunt role.” Vi says, deadpan but smiles when Jinx chuckles.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna love the shit out of that little goober,” Jinx says strongly. “Gonna be the best auntie in the world. Much better than Caitlyn or Mel, that's for sure.”

Vi makes a doubtful expression, an eyebrow raised, and raises her hands to placate when Jinx aims her butter knife at her.

“No, you'll be great,” Vi tells her and despite their jokes, she means it. She sees how Jinx is with kids; how she may not seem interested at first but then slowly opens up. Not to say that she connects with every child but when Jinx cares, she cares with her entire heart. So Vi knows that her children will be loved.

Jinx eyes her and takes another sip of her drink before saying, “There's something on your mind.”

Vi huffs. “How can you tell?”

“I'm your sister, we grew up together,” Jinx lists off. “I mean, ignore the fact that we didn't talk for seven years but I know you.” She finishes off her glass and pushes it to the side. “What's going on?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Surprisingly, yes.”

Vi chuckles, running a hand through her hair, before leaning back in her seat.

“I just…worry that I may not be a good parent.” She confesses after a moment.

“Why?” Jinx asks straight away, not giving Vi the time to wallow too deeply.

“Because…I mean, look what happened with us,” Vi says, gesturing between them. “I left you alone for seven years over a misunderstanding that took ages to fix. I was supposed to be there for you when our parents died. When Vander died and I…” Vi stops for a second, a heavy knot in her throat. “...I wasn't there and I'm just scared that I'm gonna fuck all of this up.”

Jinx stares at her for a bit, her expression unreadable, before she gives a big eye roll.

“You're so stupid,” she says loudly.

“Gee thanks.” Vi replies.

“You're so stupid because I don't think you realise how good of a big sister you were,” Jinx continues. “How good of a big sister you are. Life sucked for us for a long time, Vi. Especially after our parents and Vander died. Then the hits kept on coming and we had no say in how we survived for a long time. Yes, we got separated and yes, it made me so fucking mad at you, but you came back for me.” She takes a deep breath. “If we could redo the past, we would. But we can't. But things have been fixed and you've shown me time and time how capable you are.” She then laughs. “I mean, you've been in a committed relationship for twelve years, Vi. Most people don't last up to the five month mark.”

Vi tries to ignore the sting behind her eyes, the tears that slowly blur her vision.

“Plus you guys are totally in love,” Jinx says, a slight smile curving her lips. “It's absolutely nauseating but it's also kinda beautiful. You'll make a really good parent, Vi. You got the best of mom and our dads. And your partner kicks ass and is one of the best people I've ever met so…” Jinx shrugs. “Your children are gonna be so lucky to have you two as parents.”

There’s then a lull that falls between them and Vi's trying so hard not to cry. So she swallows back the knot in her throat, chasing it away with her last bit of coffee.

“Saying all of that must have driven you nuts,” Vi jokes weakly, reaching out to give Jinx's hand a grateful squeeze.

“Yeah, I feel gross and need to take a shower,” Jinx jokes in return, weak too and she squeezes Vi's hand just as tight. “Consider that your birthday and Christmas gift.”

Vi laughs loudly, eyes crinkling and mouth wide with the joy she feels.

“Fair enough.” She concedes, knowing damn well Jinx will surprise her with a homemade gift regardless.

“...So, gonna go home and blast your baby batter into—?”

“Jinx.”

A week or two pass after those conversations are held. Life maintains its norm, leaving you and Vi to continue your existence in its blissful way. It's comforting as it is confusing, because Vi knows that everything’s on the table now. Left wide open for the both of you to bask at.

Vi waits for your move, watches you with a keen eye as you drift throughout the days. She cooks the both of you dinner every other night, picks you up from work every day without fail and holds you close at night so you fall asleep. She does what she knows to do, does it because it has that essence of normalcy.

But that doesn't stop the urges from arising. It doesn't halt the need that bubbles in her stomach every time she sees you. It's overpowering, overwhelmingly so, and Vi fails to understand it until one late evening.

You're curled up beneath Vi’s arm as a movie plays on the television. It's a standard comedy, nothing utterly hilarious but enough to pull a few chuckles from both of you. Vi has hit optimal relaxation, all loose and soft due to you being so close. She can smell the scent of your body wash, drops her face into your hair so she can inhale what lies there. Your shampoo and something so uniquely you.

Her focus has since shifted from the movie, all of it on you as she notes how you’re barely paying attention to the screen. You’ve got this faraway look in your eyes, seemingly lost in thought and Vi wonders what's going through that pretty head of yours.

Then you do something unexpected; you shift a hand towards your stomach and…gently rub at it. The arc of your hand graceful as you follow the slope of your covered flesh. It looks soothing, similar to how you rub Vi's muscles on the days the flare-up of old injuries is too much. But it's also different and Vi's quick to notice it; she sees how your hand comes to lay at your lower stomach and—

Oh.

Vi's suddenly feeling a bit flustered.

A minute goes by, slowly ticking, and Vi tries not to give herself away. She tries not to reveal how the simple act of you rubbing your stomach has her heating up. How she's instantly imagining your stomach round with her child and the way your hand would look caressing the bump.

So tender, so gentle.

Something hot within Vi stirs, causing her to grow a bit restless. The movie captures her attention for a bit, but it hardly does much. Especially when you're pressed into her, still rubbing at your stomach and fuck, her sweatpants feel a little tight.

Because it isn't only about your stomach growing with life inside you. It's also about the transformation you'll grow through. How you'll get softer, how your scent will become a little milkier. How your breasts will swell in preparation and how you'd be a stunning image of how you belong to.

Vi.

Because it's Vi who'll do that to you; it's her who will fuck you full until you can't take anymore. It's Vi who will come and come and come in you until it takes and she sees the fruits of her labour.

It's her who'll…who'll breed you until you’re tongue's tied and your body's a wreck.

So beautiful and pilant and hers.

“...Vi?” Your voice calls her home, like a siren's song, and she's retrieved from her debauched thoughts. “Vi, sweetheart, the movie's done.”

Vi blinks at the television, the credits rolling down the dark screen. How long had she been spacing out for.

“Oh,” she says lamely and you chuckle, standing up from the couch. You tug at her arm, smiling tiredly, as you tilt your body towards the bedroom.

“I'm sleepy,” you say, giving one more tug before Vi’s standing on her feet. “Let's go to bed, we've got work in the morning.”

“Uh huh,” is all Vi can manage as she allows you to lead her to your bedroom.

Something new has clicked in her brain.

Something deep and primal at its core.

...She cannot talk to Jinx about this.

[woenti]

your husband doesn't really use his notes app. he never quite saw the need for it. grocery list? he'd text it in your chat, in case you needed to add anything to it. talking about his feelings or whatever, again, he had you—on the rare occasions he did feel the need to open up. yet there was this one note he had, untitled; no one could ever see it, not even you; the moment you just so happened to notice it, his phone was swiftly snatched away from you. the only thing you noted about it was that it was dated all the way back to your first date. he wouldn't tell you, not in a million years. he was too embarrassed to let you know how he spent hours recalling every last detail you'd tell him after your date, writing it down so he'd never forget.

(first date, restaurant) 

likes strawberries, anything coloured pink, picks the pickles off her burger, sucks at eyeliner, prefers juices over alcohol.

(third date, cooking class)

not good with measurements, loves eating the batter, cherishes the smell of melted butter, goes quiet and gets mopey when she has to wait for the cake to finish, not to be trusted near the stove, oven, or anything that can cause a fire.

(fifth date, went to do pottery) 

extremely messy, pays attention to every last detail, scrunches her nose every time the lady tells her she's doing something wrong, barely touches the tools provided (thinks she only needs her hands and some water) 

and it just went on and on, some even random dates you wouldn't remember due to how insignificant the day or detail was, but he remembered; he always will. he knew since the first time he saw you he had to put all his time and effort into winning you, and it worked. noting down every possible thing about you, memorising it down to a t, memorising you like the back of his hand, it took time and effort, sure, but it was worth it knowing you were now the mother of his children. 

itoshi rin, noel noa, itoshi sae, idfk, + your fave!

[demonic0angel]

"What's up with Red Hood?"

"Him and Wolf got into an argument, and now the drama king is lamenting that their love life is dead."

"Is it?"

"Only if one of them died."

(🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃)

“What do you mean?” Goon 1 asked.

Goon 2 and Goon 3 shared a look and then looked back at him. “Oh yeah. You’re new to this gang, right?”

Goon 1 nodded nervously. “Yeah. I joined a few weeks ago. What do you mean by Red Hood’s love life? Is he dating Wolf?”

Both Goon 2 and 3 grimaced. It was Goon 2 who said, “No. It's even worse. Because they’re in love and not even dating.”

Goon 1’s eyebrows rose. Then wanting to know more of the tea, he asked eagerly, “Really? Why’s that? Is it unrequited? What’s happening?”

He paused, remembering where he was, before he glanced nervously to the side where Red Hood was flattening himself across the table dramatically. He was still bemoaning his fate and giving recited soliloquies to himself. It was clear that he was trying to lure out Wolf, who had went into another room to cool down.

It had been a little confusing and worrying earlier, but if it was love troubles, then he could completely understand!

Goon 3 leaned closer and pointed a thumb at Red Hood subtly. “Our boss is awesome and he knows almost everything, but he’s too gentlemanly to pursue Wolf!”

Goon 2 also leaned in. “And Wolf is just as bad! She does anything and everything to help him and they’ll flirt all the time, but I think the helmets are making them blind! They can’t see the fact that they both want to date each other even if it slaps them in the faces!"

"It's like watching a train wreck! They're so in love that it's disgusting but they're both too afraid to make the first move!"

They all glanced over, just as Wolf left the office room and approached Red Hood, who sat up eagerly to meet her. They talked quietly and then Wolf placed a hand on Red Hood's chest gently. Red Hood nodded happily and the tension eased.

Red Hood then turned to the rest of his gang, who were blatantly staring.

"Don't worry, children!" He said teasingly. "Your mother and I aren't divorcing anymore! We won't have to share custody!"

Wolf audibly groaned and slapped his arm, but Red Hood just laughed and corralled her to the office again, where they shut each other inside.

Everyone was silent. Then they all cheered loudly

Goon 1 stared at the closed door thoughtfully.

"... and you're sure they're not dating?" He asked through the screaming and cheers.

"Trust me, I'd sacrifice my firstborn to make them stop the flirty comments and lovesick looks."

[kdyq]

Hi, I got to know your blog recently and I loved your writing, your story of Ambessa x pregnant reader gave me an idea. What do you think of a modern au (or in the series setting if you prefer) Ambessa solo mom. Where she meets the reader and sees that the relationship between the two is getting more serious and decides to introduce formally to her children, I imagine them younger but if you want with them older it would be great too!! ❤️

A piece of her world.

AU! Milf!Ambessa x Fem!reader

context: You and Ambessa meet at a art gallery and a month later Ambessa wants the relationship to deepen by introducing you to her two kids Kino and Mel at dinner.

The first time you met Ambessa she gave off an effortlessly commanding presence drew attention the moment she entered the room. It was at a small art gallery downtown where you’d been helping a friend organize an opening. She was hard to miss her tall regal figure dressed in a tailored dark cherry red suit her sharp gaze sweeping the room as though sizing up a battlefield. What started as a simple conversation over drinks turned into dinner dates late night talks and an undeniably connection.

Months later you found yourself deeply in love with the woman who somehow balanced happiness and tenderness with ease. Still there was a part of her life she’d carefully kept at arm’s length her children.

She had spoken of them occasionally Kino her thoughtful and bookish eldest, and Mel her sarcastic and optimistic youngest. But she kept that part of her life separate not out of secrecy. But out of a deep sense of protection it doesn’t mean she didn’t trust you it’s just a motherly instinct of hers.

But it all changed one crisp Saturday morning when she invited you over for dinner.

“I think it’s time you met my children ”she said over the phone with a steady tone.

Your heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure” she replied. “You’ve become important to me and I think they need to see that.”

You smiled touched by her words. “I’d love to meet them.”

When you arrived at Ambessa’s house it was every bit as grand as you’d imagined modern and elegant with high ceilings grand decor and wide windows that let sunlight flood the space.

Ambessa greeted you at the door dressed casually for once in a fitted sweater and dark jeans. She looked calm but the slight tension in her posture betrayed her nerves.

“You’re nervous” you teased gently stepping inside.

She huffed crossing her arms. “I’m not nervous.”

“Liar” you said with a smile leaning up to kiss her cheek. “It’ll be fine.”

The sound of approaching footsteps echoed through the hallway and two figures stepped into the room. Kino appeared first tall and composed at eighteen with a quiet confidence that made him seem older than his years.

His dark locks in a back ponytail his brown eyes landed on you. He paused for a moment studying you in a way that felt both cautious and intrigued.

“You must be [Your Name] Kino said his tone even but polite as if he were testing the waters.

“I am” you replied matching his calm energy with a warm smile.

“And you must be Kino.”

He nodded a flicker of amusement crossing his face as his lips went into a faint smirk. “Mama talks about you. A lot.”

“Does she?” You glanced at Ambessa who stood just behind him arms crossed and exuding her usual composed demeanor.

But there was a hint of softness in her expression a subtle pride as she observed the interaction. “Good things I hope?”

“She said you’re smart and funny” Kino replied his tone teasing just enough to make you smile.

Before you could respond a smaller figure darted into the room behind him. Mel at fifteen moved with a youthful energy that contrasted sharply with her brother’s calm demeanor. Though she was only a few inches shorter than Kino her presence was just as commanding her green eyes flicking between you and her mother before finally settling on you.

“So” Mel said leaning casually against the doorway with a playful smirk “you’re the one who’s been stealing all of Mom’s attention.”

“That’s me” you said with a light laugh your gaze meeting hers. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

Mel tilted her head studying you with an intensity that reminded you of Ambessa though hers had a mischievous edge. “We’ll see.”

Kino groaned rolling his eyes as he turned to his sister. “Mel seriously can you not?”

“What?” Mel shrugged her smirk growing. “I’m just saying—”

“You’re gonna scaring them off” Kino cut her off with a sigh giving you a look that said this was a regular occurrence.

Mel opened her mouth to make a comeback but Ambessa’s voice cut through the playful tension like a blade. “Enough Mel.”

Mel held up her hands in mock surrender though the mischievous twinkle in her eye remained.

Before the back and forth could escalate even more Kino turned back to you and gestured toward the living room. “Come on” he said his voice quieter now almost shy.

“I want to show you something. Mom told me you like books and I’ve been putting together a library.”

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise genuinely touched by the offer. “I’d love to see it.”

As he led you out of the room Mel lingered behind with Ambessa. She crossed her arms her smirk softening as she glanced at her mother. “She’s better than the last one” she muttered under her breath.

Ambessa raised an eyebrow at her daughter. “Mel.”

“What? I’m just saying.”

From the doorway Ambessa watched it all unfold with a quiet intensity. Her expression softened as she observed how naturally you fit into her world. The way Kino opened up to you the ease with which you handled Mel’s sarcasm it all struck a chord deep within her. For someone so fiercely protective of her family seeing this dynamic felt like a rare moment of peace as if the pieces of her life were finally aligning.

You glanced back at her catching her eye as Kino chatted excitedly about his favorite books. She gave you a small nod In her way of saying she was glad you were here.

Ambessa watched it all unfold with a quiet intensity her expression softening as she saw how naturally you fit into her world.

After dinner you and Ambessa retreated to the back patio the stars glittering above as the cool night air wrapped around you. She poured two glasses of Syrah red wine her usual strong composure giving way to something more vulnerable.

“You were amazing with them” she said her voice low but full of emotion.

“They’re incredible kids” you replied leaning into her side. “You’ve done an amazing job with them.”

She exhaled softly her arm wrapping around your shoulders. “It hasn’t been easy ”she admitted.

“Especially after their father went away. But they’re my world.”

“You don’t have to do it alone anymore ” you said your voice gentle but firm.

Ambessa looked at you her eyes searching yours. For a moment you saw the vulnerability she so rarely let show the weight of years spent carrying the burden of being both mother and protector.

“I know”she said softly her hand brushing against your cheek. “And I’m glad it’s you.”

You stayed like that for a long time wrapped in each other’s warmth as the future stretched out before you and filled with endless possibilities.

“THE END”

AN/ TYSM @baesye for requesting this i hope I brought your vision to life. I never really thought about doing an AU ambessa x fem reader story but in the near future I will definitely make more stories in a AU once again tysm 🙏🏾🙌🏾.

+ I’m running out of photos for Ambessa so ima have to reuse them and I can’t draw for shit so I gotta do what a what girl gotta do 😭🤷🏾‍♀️.

[northern-embrace]

After Jon and Sansa reunion scene, they talk and I loved most things about this: Sansa wearing borrowed furs, sharing memories of Old Nan’s pies, the soft soft soft glances, the iconic “where will we go.” Basically the only thing I hated about that scene was when Sansa was like, forgive me to Jon and it hinges on that assumption that she was a bully to Jon when NOTHING in the books says she was a bully and it also made watchers assume that there was a hostile childhood relationship in showverse.

In books: Like, Sansa and Arya insulted each other. Arya is just as disparaging to Sansa.

Robb is the one that gets angry (as kids) at Jon:

That morning he called it first. "I'm Lord of Winterfell!" he cried, as he had a hundred times before. Only this time, this time, Robb had answered, “You can't be Lord of Winterfell, you're bastard-born. My lady mother says you can't ever be the Lord of Winterfell."

A Storm of Swords -Jon XII

Arya cries fearing she was a bastard like Jon.

Bran calls Jon a bastard.

And Sansa?

He missed the girls too, even Sansa, who never called him anything but "my half brother" since she was old enough to understand what bastard meant.

A Game of Thrones -Jon III

Like she even gets hate for this by the fandom. How is she worse for calling him half-brother when 1. It’s the truth as they know it then. 2. She’s actually kinder to Jon than her status deems she has to be. 3. There’s a glorification of rest of the Stark children (lol Robb, Arya, Bran) for ignoring class unlike Sansa— when actually they don’t. Their class privilege shows up in other ways (Arya with Mycah. Bran with Hodor. Robb literally gets murdered after messing up politically.)

4. They’re all children.

But somehow Sansa is ever the lightning rod of misogynist hate in this fandom so she’s the villain and bully when every other Stark is as flawed as she is.

Oh. And like Jon’s a bully too as a kid if you wanna interpret everything they do as kids and freakin hold that against then as adults. He disguised himself as a ghost to scare the other kids, Sansa runs away screaming.

After he gives Needle to Arya, they both say “Don’t tell Sansa!” so yeah she’s likely a tattletale bc she likes rules but also, well Jon gave Arya a weapon and she later kills a boy with it. Like, you can also say that Sansa is being isolated amongst her own siblings which I think is also interesting bc personality wise she’s a quiet Ned while Robb is like Brandon, Arya like Lyanna and Bran stands in for younger bro Benjen.

So yeah, Sansa has no reason to apologize to Jon not really.

Although the Stark sisters gotta apologize to each other. But not like the stupid drama Arya implies she’ll kill her own sister to become Lady of Winterfell haha jkjk it’s just to hide killing LF but D&D’s show gotta bank on shock value first.

Friendly reminder that Sansa never bullied Jon in the books or the show. She never treated him poorly or discriminated against him for being a bastard.

In the books, Sansa is observant enough to (correctly) identify Jon’s distaste of Joffrey as jealousy and expresses genuine compassion for him.

In the show, Sansa apologizes to Jon as part of her “Sansa Unnecessarily Apologizing To Men” Train, but we never actually saw her being “awful” to him. Not once.

The only people who treated Jon badly for being a bastard were Catelyn, Theon, and Robb. Robb is literally the only Stark sibling who ever called Jon “bastard” as an insult, not Sansa.

[amysteryspot]

A Woman's Worth - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

Summary: Anthony tries to salvage what's left of his marriage and discovers what his wife is truly worth. (Part one)

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV Show)

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader

Warnings: mentions of miscarriage, cheating and lots of angst. English is not my first language and this wasn’t proofread.

Word Count: 4648

A/N: After so long, this piece is finally here. Thanks for patiently waiting and thanks @cevansgoodgirl for the help.

There is a mix of a scene with Laurie and Amy in Little Women and another one with Benedict and Tessa (the model/painter in 02x05), just so you know.

He remembers the first time he saw her—really saw her.

The (Y/L/N)s were guests in Aubrey House, and (Y/N) was in the balcony with Benedict while both their mothers and most of their siblings were in the lawn.

Anthony is not even sure what drew his attention when he was passing by, he did not have a habit of eavesdropping, but he got himself held back when his brother commented on (Y/N)’s painting.

"I declare that's rather good." Benedict said making (Y/N) huff.

“We both know that good is not enough, Ben.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Anthony could understand what his brother was talking about. The painting was a rendition of the scene unfolding before them—their siblings playing around while their mothers watched over them. It was rather good, indeed.

"It doesn’t matter, there's no place for me to do art."

Benedict frowned. "That's quite the statement to make at twenty. If you don't think you're good enough you have plenty of time to try some more, do better." He pauses, poking her. "You say that to me all the time."

"Then perhaps inform the academy.” She says, sarcasm dripping in every word. “Although two of the founding members are women, we are still not allowed to enter the classroom. It doesn't matter how much money we do or do not have."

"At least not while clothed." He comments, making (Y/N) throw the rag she was holding at him, which Benedict swiftly catches, changing the subject. "Well, now that you’ve given up all your artistic hopes, what are you going to do with your life?”

“Polish up my other talents and be an ornament to society.”

It was as if Anthony was seeing his sister speak.

“You sound like Eloise.” Benedict took the words out of Anthony’s mouth.

“Maybe she has been rubbing up on me.” (Y/N) smiled.

“You are searching for a husband, then?” Benedict asks, helping her pack her things.

“Yes.” She replies sheepishly.

“That's where Mr Scott comes in, I suppose.”

Anthony had noticed how Mr Scott had taken an interest in (Y/N), he never thought she felt the same.

Benedict continued. “You’ll accept him if he comes down properly on one knee?”

“Most likely, yes.” She said, pausing to look ahead for a moment. “He’s rich, respectable.”

When Benedict stifles a laugh, she lightly slaps his arm and Anthony has to fight back a smile. “Don’t make fun.” (Y/N) reprimands him.

"I’m not, I’m not, I promise.” He pauses. “It does sound odd coming from you.”

"I've always known that I would marry rich. Why should I be ashamed of that?"

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you love him." Benedict answers in a more serious tone.

Once upon a time Anthony would have easily seen himself at his brother's place, talking about love, but not anymore.

"Well, I believe we have some power over who we love, it isn't something that just happens to a person." (Y/N) says, closing the trunk with her paints, pencils and brushes inside.

"I think the poets might disagree." Benedict offers softly.

"Well, I'm not a poet, I'm just a woman.” She reminds him. “And as a woman I have no way to make money, not enough to earn a living and support my family. Even if I had my own money, which I don't, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him not me. They would be his property. So don't stand there and tell me that marriage isn't an economic proposition, because it is. It may not be for you but it certainly is for me."

For the first time since he stopped to hear the conversation, hiding himself between the curtains, Anthony felt like he had overstepped a boundary, so he made quick work of fleeing the scene, her words echoing inside his head.

Anthony remembers Benedict joking about how him and (Y/N) would make a good match. He listens as his brother tells him about the conversation he had with her and Anthony feigns ignorance to the subject, despite having heard the entire interaction. Benedict’s voice turns into white noise in the background as Anthony is transported back to a conversation he had with Daphne last season.

At the time he didn’t understand his sister’s words—perhaps, he never would. Daphne and (Y/N) shared the same struggles, but his sister had been set in marrying for love, (Y/N), on the other hand, had already resigned herself about having to marry for convenience.

It was then that Anthony recognized that the both of them were, indeed, a good match. (Y/N) was beautiful, well mannered, educated and very good at charming people. She came from a not very rich but respectable family. Anthony knew he was one of the most eligible bachelors of the season, despite his fame as a rake. It wouldn’t be a sacrifice to marry (Y/N), which made making the decision so much easier.

Anthony visited her the next day, explaining his proposal to her.

“You listened to us?” She blinked a couple of times, trying to digest the information.

“Yes,” he confessed, “and I’m terribly sorry for it, but we have to recognize that this might have been for the best.”

He observed as she took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling, a little frown on her face. She was beautiful this way. Even more than when she was charming half of the ton in the many social events he had seen her.

“If you don’t mind me asking, my lord, why marry now?”

Anthony sighed. “My mom has been forcing my hand since Daphne married. Even before that, if I’m being honest. It’s time to find a good wife, settle down, and fulfill my duties.”

“Don’t take my question as an offense, but why me?”

She seemed unable to quite grasp his words. Anthony wondered if she still hoped, deep down, to marry for love and that her conversation with his brother had been only a fickle attempt to protect herself.

“You’re intelligent, (Y/N),” He kneeled in front of her. “You are beautiful and your family is respectable. If you are serious about your words to my brother, we both want the same thing from such a union.” He paused. “Would it be so bad to be married to me?”

(Y/N) bit her lip and Anthony caught himself observing the action with a little more intent than he should.

“No, my lord, I believe it wouldn’t,” she said.

“Then why not make the best we can from a predicament we can’t escape?”

She averted his gaze, looking out to the balcony where her maid was sitting and reading a book, while watching over them.

Anthony took the opportunity to look at her—hair carefully brushed and pinned up, the way the light contrasted with her silhouette, making it easier to see her nose, her lips, the  curve of her neck…

“If I were to accept your proposition, would you be committed to this relationship?”

He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

“I know that for our society standards maybe that’s too much to ask, but if I can’t be loved I’d wish to at least be respected.” She looked straight into his eyes and then Anthony understood what she was asking of him.

“You have my word that once we are engaged the only woman in my life will be you.”

Anthony asked her father for permission to court her in the same day, then he got properly down on one knee a second time to ask for her hand in marriage, the two of them married within months. Benedict had been shocked by the whole ordeal, but all he cared about was seeing his brother and his friend at least a little bit happy.

The process of knowing each other had been smooth, a lot easier than what Anthony first anticipated. (Y/N) took her duties as the lady of the house seriously, making a point of listening to Violet quite often. His siblings seemed to adore her even more than they liked him, and although inexperienced, as he knew she was, (Y/N) had proved herself to be a good lover. For all of those reasons, Anthony thought that keeping his promise wouldn’t be such an impossible task.

Then he discovered that Sienna had never left town and Anthony, who always prided himself in being a man of his word, proved himself to be as bad as the rest of the men he was surrounded by.

He fell back into the sheets with Sienna, and not long after that his relationship with (Y/N) became purely a show. At first, Anthony thought his wife was oblivious to his escapades, but he had clearly underestimated (Y/N)’s intelligence.

They never shared a bedroom, but there was no disguising how his visits to her chambers happened less and less, as there was no denying the gossip of the house staff that could only lead her to his broken promises.

Anthony expected a fight, things being thrown at him, screams and hits, but they never came, and that was somewhat worse.

One night when he got home after meeting Sienna, (Y/N) was sitting in the dressing room between their chambers, knitting. She lifted her eyes from her work to bid him good night. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how her smile fell from her face as she took in his disheveled state. Anthony felt ashamed for the first time in years.

(Y/N) didn’t give him time to explain himself for being so late—maybe it was for the best because he honestly didn’t know if he could find a suitable excuse for that—she just got up, leaving her unfinished work resting in the loveseat, and marched to her room.

Anthony sighed, throwing his coat away carelessly. The force knocked out (Y/N)’s knitting to the ground and Anthony groaned before bending down to take it. He furrowed his brow when he recognized the pattern—an onesie.

Maybe Daphne was pregnant again? She would’ve told him, right? Simon would, for sure. Then it hit him. Holding the unfinished piece between his fingers, Anthony realized that that was the reason why (Y/N) had stayed awake waiting for him until that hour—she was pregnant and wanted to tell him the news. Instead of the happiness she must have expected, she only received the sight of an unfaithful husband and a broken marriage.

(Y/N) never mentioned it to him and Anthony pretended as if he didn’t know, waiting for her to make the first move, tell him at her own time. (Y/N) never said it though, but he couldn’t ignore the knowledge, and the more time he passed observing her, the more evident it became to him that his wife was, in fact, expecting their first child.

In no time she distanced herself from him and all came to the point of no return in the night where she had gone through the loss of their child alone while he was rolling in the sheets with Sienna.

Anthony tried to reach out to her, succeeding only one time, a week after that fateful night, but in the following weeks, there hadn’t been much talking between them. (Y/N) would barely answer his greetings or the occasional question he threw her way trying to start a conversation. They had a few events to attend and these were the only occasions where she would grant him more than a couple of words. Anthony knew that that was all pretend for the sake of their reputation.

She refused every attempt he made to apologize or explain himself—not that there was much to explain. He couldn’t blame her, even if he wanted her forgiveness. It was her right to hate him and not want him around after he broke his promise to her.

They had never talked about it. Not until today.

(Y/N) was holding Augie, smiling down at the baby that smiled back at her, barely blinking with a look of pure adoration in his eyes.

“This one seems really enchanted by you,” Daphne comments, caressing her son’s little fingers.

“He’s just getting used to me,” (Y/N) answered,  smiling at his sister.

“Well, it’s good training, since I guess you and Anthony will probably have one of your own soon.”

Is as if Anthony’s blood turns to ice. He looks at his wife whose expression turns into shock and then sadness in the blink of an eye. He recognizes the tears pooling in her eyes as she gives the baby back to Daphne and excuses herself, leaving the drawing room too quick not to draw attention.

He hurries back after her. Simon gives him an apologetic look to which Anthony answers with an equally sad smile. It doesn’t take him long to find her, bend down in the windowsill of one of the windows of the library, one hand covering her mouth to muffle her sobbing while the other rested on her belly.

(Y/N) doesn’t hear his approach, but when he touches her as if she was expecting him too. She jumps as far away from him as she can get as if his touch burned her.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t…” she doesn’t finish the sentence but Anthony could hear it loud and clear in his head.

Don’t touch me with the same hands you’ve touched her just a week ago.

“Okay, it’s okay,” Anthony reassures her, raising his hands so she can see them. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me too, but I want to help you.”

“Nobody can help me,” she sobs, hands clutching tightly at her dress.

The sight breaks his heart. Anthony wants nothing more than to take her pain away and make it his, even though he is mourning the loss of their child with her. He knew her pain was fairly worse than his, she did not only lose a child but she had been losing her husband too.

“Why, Anthony? Why us? There are so many couples that don’t love each other and still have children, why can’t we?”

Anthony takes a step forward, then two, and then he’s bringing her into his arms, wrapping her tightly against his chest, his chin resting at the top of her head. She struggles against his touch a little, but she’s so worn out that it doesn’t take much for her to relax into him.

(Y/N) fists the lapels of his waistcoat, resting her forehead against his chest, letting herself cry.

“I wanted them so bad, Anthony,” she whispers between sobs, “so bad.”

Me too, he wants to answer. Me too.

They stay in the library, in silence, for a while. When (Y/N) finally stops crying, exhausted, Anthony takes her home without even saying goodbye to his family, sending a maid to let them know his wife was not feeling well.

Their relationship shifts after that day. (Y/N) appears so exhausted by the recent events that slowly, she starts to let her guard down again. Anthony is careful when dealing with her, his wife is fragile and the sadness in her runs so deep that he is always afraid to say or do something that will put her through more pain.

“You don’t have to worry so much, you know.” She says, making him look up from his papers to see her already staring back at him.

“I always worry.”

“I won’t break if we talk about it,” she guarantees. “We have to talk about it.”

Anthony is not sure if she’s talking about their baby or Sienna. Either way it wasn’t exactly a conversation he was eager to have.

“How are you?” He asks before he can contain himself. Anthony wanted to ask that for a while but never found the opportunity.

“Healing,” she answers, “or trying to.”

He nods, nervously picking at his nails.

“When did you discover?” She asks.

“The onesie.” He looks up at her.

“The onesie,” she scoffs.

“You were… waiting for me?” His question is almost inaudible, full of regret and shame, but Anthony knows that she heard him.

“Yes,” she answers, “I was.” There’s a pause, and then the blow to his face. “Obviously you were occupied with more important matters, my lord.”

“(Y/N)—”

“I know about her,” she confesses. “I’ve always known, just didn’t want to acknowledge it and have to face the fact that my husband, the one that promised to respect me, at least, had so quickly forgotten his own word.”

“It’s not your fault.” He tries to explain but it seems like (Y/N) has had enough of silence.

“Oh, I know, my lord. This is entirely your fault.” She paused. “And hers. Not that it will matter for anyone, I’ll be the one to blame, after all.”

Her words cut through him the same way they did the week after her miscarriage: it’s always the woman’s fault. Hers or Sienna’s, it didn’t matter. Anthony would never understand the full extent of the pain it was to be a woman in their society, he would never fully understand how much he put her through and yet, would never be blamed for it.

There’s no answer to her words, no explanation for his behavior or broken promises. All he can do is watch her swallow the tears that were threatening to fall and take a deep breath. Anthony opens his mouth to speak but she beats him to it.

“That night,” she says, “the night I… lost our child. You were with her.”

It wasn’t a question, but Anthony felt the need to answer it anyway, his voice low with shame.

“Yes.”

“I see,” she hums.

“If I could go back—”

“The outcome would have been the same.” She says.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I should have been there for you.”

“Yes, you should have.”

Anthony always knew that, since the moment he put foot inside their house and heard her screams, but hearing her say it had another weight.

“Are you still seeing her?” She asks, looking at him.

“No, it won’t happen again.”

(Y/N) scoffs. “Forgive me if I have trouble believing in it, my lord.”

“I know I haven’t been a good husband. God, I have been barely a good man since we married, but I promise you, I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll do better by you. I’ll be a better man, a better husband, one that you deserve and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get close to deserve you.”

The following days, they start to talk more during meals, and the silence that falls between them when they’re both at the drawing room—Anthony working and (Y/N) reading—is not uncomfortable anymore. Each day that passes makes Anthony believe that they can fall back into the friendship they had right after they married.

He doesn’t see Sienna again. Anthony sends her a letter telling her that they should stop seeing each other because he doesn’t want to hurt his wife anymore. Which is the truth. Every time he thinks about the last time he met Sienna, his wife’s cries of pain and sorrow plague his mind and he just can’t see himself hurting her even more than he already had without even realizing it.

Anthony watches her playing with Gregory and Hyacinth in the garden. His younger siblings are fighting for her attention but she doesn’t seem to mind, going back and forth in between the two of them with ease. Then she looks at him, a huge smile on her face that made him smile too. Her attention was quickly snatched from him to his siblings again and Anthony felt a pang of jealousy in his chest—he didn’t want to share her attention.

In the past few weeks, Anthony discovered that his wife was more than the character of the perfect wife that she played for the ton. She was very much real and very much a woman with desires and ambitions. Everything that happened between then made her more bold, she didn’t take his poor excuses anymore, she talked openly about all sorts of things and Anthony caught himself wanting to listen.

“Hum, did you finally realize that you got a diamond in your hands, then?”

Anthony turned his head to look at Benedict, who had a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

His relationship with Benedict was stranded since his brother discovered about Sienna. Anthony didn’t blame Benedict, he was friend’s with his wife since they were kids. He only had himself to blame for being so foolish.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Anthony answered, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t observing their siblings with (Y/N).

“Keep lying to yourself then,” Benedict smirked, turning away to leave.

Anthony called after him. “Will you ever forgive me?”

Benedict sighed. “I’m not the one who has to forgive you. I just expected more from my brother.”

“I know,” he agrees. Benedict makes a move to go out the door, and then comes back, pulling Anthony into a hug.

“Look, I could say a thousand things to you, but nothing will undo what’s done.” Benedict says when they part, a hand resting on Anthony’s shoulder. “Just… learn from your mistakes and do better. You’re my brother and I love you, but trust me when I say that you don't deserve (Y/N). Can you imagine what mother would have done to our father if they ever found themselves in the same situation?”

“They loved each other,” Anthony protested to prevent his mind from wandering.

“You are truly oblivious, brother of mine.” Benedict scoffed.

His brother’s word haunted him for the rest of the day and all the way back to their home. Always perceptive, his change in behavior didn’t go unnoticed by (Y/N).

“What happened,” she asked when they were alone in the dressing room.

Anthony hummed, turning around to look at her and trying not to get distracted by her beauty as she braided her own hair after taking off the jewelry.

“Nothing.”

Her reflection raises a brow at him.

“Do better,” she warns, getting up and walking up to him, face softening as she stands in front of him. “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”

He nods, taking one of her hands and bringing it to his face. Anthony’s eyes close.

“Is it about her?”

The question gets him off guard. His eyes open instantly to look at her and he drops (Y/N)’ hand instantly.

“No,” he answers, “no,” he adds firmly, cradling her face in between his hands. “There is no one else in my life but you. There won’t be no one else in my life but you.”

“Anthony…” She breaths, closing her eyes as her delicate hands take hold of his wrists.

He wants nothing more than to kiss her, but refrains. It’s not the time for that. They’re both healing and he doesn’t want to taint whatever it is they’re creating by getting ahead of himself. Instead, Anthony presses his lips to her hair, inhaling her scent.

“Stay with me tonight,” he pleads, not sure where the urge to stay close to her came from. Anthony expects her to put up a fight, but (Y/N) only nods, murmuring an okay, before guiding him to her room.

It’s the first time since that fateful night that the both of them sleep through it, getting up later than usual the other day.

Their first kiss after everything that threatened to push them apart for good, happens so suddenly that none of them expects it.

(Y/N) had received the news that one of her younger sisters was going to marry the man she loves, her happiness made her throw herself at him and before either of them could realize, they were kissing each other.

It was just a chaste peck on the lips at the beginning. When they realized what had just happened they parted, his wife didn’t bother to step away from him to escape his embrace. They just stared at each other, eyes flicking between their eyes and their lips and then she placed a hand at the back of his neck, bringing him close to seal their lips again.

Anthony responded in kind, his hands on her waist, traveling up her back as he tasted her. It was like he was kissing her for the first time. They were discovering each other again, learning what each other felt like.

Desperately, Anthony wanted to discover what the strange feeling at the pit of his stomach was. Since before they married (Y/N) made him feel different, something he couldn’t put a finger on. He pushed it down to the depths of his mind—the last thing he needed was feeling something other than respect and partnership for his wife.

He protested when (Y/N) parted her lips from his and it took him a second to notice Benedict standing at the door, a smirk on his lips.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that our mother is waiting for (Y/N) downstairs. Something about the charity?”

“Oh,” his wife exclaimed, “I had forgotten about it,” she said, wriggling herself away from his arms, making Anthony growl in frustration.

If she noticed, (Y/N) made a good job at ignoring it. The same couldn’t be said about his brother.

“I figured,” Benedict smirked.

“Not a word,” (Y/N) warned as she passed him by, slapping his arm playfully.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Anthony watched as she turned around, stealing one last glance at him before disappearing and taking his breath away with her.

“Huh,” Benedict hummed, “I see.”

Rolling his eyes, Anthony asked, “And what do you see, dear brother?”

“You love her.”

“Nonsense,” he protested, “we’re just good partners.”

“Good partners don’t kiss like that.”

The ride home was silent, but Anthony’s heart fluttered in his chest when (Y/N) searched for his hand. Could Benedict be right? Did he really fall in love with his wife? He frowned while looking out of the window of the carriage and (Y/N) might have noticed it, because she made a move to take her hand away from him. Anthony didn’t let her.

“What’s going on in your mind?”

“Something Benedict said to me.”

“If it is about the kiss, don’t mind him. It won’t happen again.”

Anthony looked at her exasperated.

“I surely hope you’re not serious about that.”

“Anthony…”

“How can I live without your kisses again is unknown to me.”

“You lived quite well without them all your life,” she smiles, shyly.

“But now that I know them, I can’t anymore.”

Painfully slowly, she moves closer, giving him the chance to meet her halfway and bring their lips together again.

It’s like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day and Anthony can’t seem to get enough of her. They get so distracted that they don’t even realise the carriage has stopped in front of the house until the door is open.

Recomposing themselves, he observes as (Y/N) giggles at the situation and feels his heart flutter at the image.

As they prepare to retire for the night, Anthony stops for a minute before following her into her room—he has been doing that for quite a few nights.

When she notices that he hasn’t entered the bedroom, (Y/N) looks back at him with a frown.

“Anything’s wrong?”

Anthony smiles, “No, nothing’s wrong,” he answers, as she extends her hand for him to take, and they retire for the night.

[rise-my-angel]

Heart of the Great Wolf

A Vision of Never

Pairing: Robb Stark x F!Baratheon!Reader

Length: 5.2k

Warnings: recent childbirth, talk of pregnancy and labour, past character deaths, fluff, child rearing

Notes: A little "what if" about Robb having lived, in this version of the story the world isn't ending and Luwin is still alive, just pretend it makes sense. Previous Main Chapter Here, Series Masterlist Here

Things had only accidentally worked out well this way. The timing of his sons outburst correlated perfectly with Robb pressing his lips to your forehead, and muttering for you to sleep. It hadn’t been as long this time, and while going just as smoothly, it was far easier on Robb’s mind not to have you labouring for so many hours, only so much Maester Luwin being able to do to ease the pain in your state. Still some time, but not as many hours luckily. The first labour near two years ago now, Robb had as much time as he needed to stay by your side.

The war had moved fast after his Uncle Edmure had married Rosalin Frey. Robb had been as relieved as his mother to find Arya alive, but none too happy that The Hound was the one with her, and subsequently had assumed Robb would pay for his own sisters return seconds after learning she was even still alive but it was you who simply tossed a bag of gold at him, knowing that men of House Clegane were none too pleasant nor peaceful to argue with.

One by one both his sisters were found alive and safe and once word reached shortly to them that not only was King Joffery dead, but Tywin Lannister too, they all knew there was nothing left for them here. No true war to be fought and with the Frey’s loyalty through marriage, what scattered remains of the Lannisters were never making it anywhere near close enough to reclaim the Riverlands nor even consider branching North. They, for now, could go home. And the timing couldn’t have been better.

You were able to spend your final two moons pregnant in Winterfell where you belonged, and while Robb and his siblings prepared the North for a rule that had not been seen for some three hundred years, his mother helped you prepare for your labour. And yet somehow, near two years passed after that and the situation was much the same.

Only now more snow properly fell on the ground and stuck, and the healing of everything passed was getting a little easier, making celebrating this just a bit better.

Much like you two discussed, your child was born a boy, and named promptly after the father you both went to war to rescue in the first place. Normally Ned was well behaved, but Robb suspected he could faintly hear you in labour and that made him upset. Staying with his uncles and aunts, eventually Arya had to be the one to gently knock on the door, poking her head in interrupting the moment trying not to run in and fawn all over the newborn this time, saying that Ned was beyond fussy at this point and none of them could get him to calm down.

That worked out, you were barley awake any longer, your much exerted strength leaving you as Robb had a chance to go find his son, asking his mother to watch over you all while you slept. Something she was more then happy to do, being a grandmother suited her well. Robb suspected too, it somewhat helped fill that hole in her heart that Eddard Stark’s death had left behind. It made him glad, she was never happier then reuniting with her children, and it made her happier so to have a grandson, one named after the husband she lost. He was too young to understand yet, but little Ned helped heal this family more then he knew.

Now though, while giving you a chance to sleep, Robb had worried his sons fears about hearing you in pain that it was over and when you woke up he could come see. For now, he kept him distracted and Robb did that well.

None in Winterfell could say that being King took away his duties as a father. By the time his son was able to start walking, it was easier for you to share raising him. Robb could now do his work with his men, and his son there and not need every ounce of attention on him as a small infant needed. Nearing his second name day was even better. He could walk, and was speaking so much more. You insisted otherwise, but Robb knew his son was so smart just because of you. The moment he uttered something resembling a true word, you had started to encourage it everyday, and here he was. A small boy of two, and when he wanted to be, a talkative little thing.

Currently stood behind him, the main hall was empty, as he held his son upright to stand on the table with his support, mimicking better the sight he’d see. Talking to him quietly about what it was Robb would do as King, and explain more then he could grasp, but Ned enjoyed when his father taught him these things. Turning partially, the sun shined through the windows just at the perfect angle that the reddish auburn of their Tully side matched in their curls. “Do you get bored?”

A grin shined on Robbs face with a laugh, “Do I get bored? What? In meetings?” His son nodding his head, Robb moved to stand a little more to the side where he kissed the side of his head. “Aye, I do. But listening to people I’d rather not, is one of my duties as King. If I can’t fix the small problems my people are having, how do they expect me to fix the big problems?” His face scrunching for a moment, Ned shook his head, Robb being able to understand he was agreeing with him.

More quiet now, Robb looked over his sons shoulder, seeing a more heavy blink in his eye. Asking, “You tired, pup?” Nodding, Robb smiled softly. “Yeah, you want to see if your mother’s awake before you have a nap?” He nodded again, and Robb prompted him to turn around. Scooping his son up into his arms, as his little ones held on meekly, his head falling more into his shoulder.

The path there Robb couldn’t hear it as well through the thick stone walls, but still faintly as the bells still rung. Not many places you had grown up where the bells rung for anything but horror and Robb had been determined to change that. He hadn’t considered just how much like his own father he was, the birth of his second child, a daughter, as the bells rung all day. The sound at least faded the further near his bedchambers he got, his son barley perking up much at the sound of your voice chatting with his mother. You sounded much more energetic then you had before.

“I’m surprised we didn’t know, Maester Luwin had said he was certain of everything.”

Catelyn sounded bemused herself as Robb turned the corner, approaching the door as you all came into sight. It had been quite the shock for everyone, and another reason it was such a suprise, the fact that this labour had gone so smoothly. Maester Luwin predicted it would be a girl, and he was right. But, he later had said that was sometimes uncommon but not impossible, that a mother could carry two children in her womb and none could tell. Your belly grew to be the same size as the last, being able to eat much better the entire pregnancy then catching you up in the last two moons, but none knew until his daughter had been born and you still laboured another child.

It was no wonder you had been so exhausted.

You looked bright eyed over at him as he walked in. The midwives had stayed to help to clean your appearance up despite Robb insisting he didn’t at all care that you looked a mess. Your loose dress had been pulled down as one babe was feeding from your breast. The other likely had been done already, swaddled, bundled and asleep in Catelyns hold. Your voice was still a bit raspy from the energy you had been shot of, but enthusiastic as your sons head perked up right away. “There’s my sweet boy.”

Instantly Ned had moved in Robbs hold, having predicted it as his arms stretched out “Mama,” Robb hushed in his ear to go easy on you before putting him down onto the bed. Making his way over carefully, he could stand only for as long as it took to match what he saw Robb do all the time, press a kiss to your cheek gently before his little legs gave out and sat down. Looking down at the baby, his bright green eyes just like yours looked back to you. “Daddy says I have a new sister and brother.”

Nodding, your gaze trailed down to the babe in your arms. “You do, this is your little brother, and your grandmother has your little sister, Lyanna.” Looking between you both, you nodded your head over to where Catelyn had begun walked to the bed, “Go on, she’s asleep but she really wants to meet you.”

Letting a free hand go long enough to push his curls off his forehead and press a kiss there before he begun moving to meet his sister. Robb had circled around to the other side of the bed where you were, sitting gently to face you as his eyes trailed down to the baby. “Going to be a lot harder to feed them yourself now that there’s two.”

Your grin was gentle and still a bit weak, but just as playful in your eyes. “Maester Luwin assures me as long as I have the patience for it, that won’t be a problem.” Robb only rolled his eyes in a jest before leaning closer. Cupping your cheek gently as he moved to press a kiss to your lips. Chaste and lingering but uncaring with only his mother in the room. Leaning back only enough to meet your eyes, his thumb ran over your soft cheek as you muttered, “I have a feeling this one will be the needy one.”

Nodding down to the baby, Robb smiled. Leaving your cheek to brush his hand over the baby’s back just soft enough that it didn’t interrupt him. “Are you insinuating our little Ned wasn’t needy with you as it was?” Protesting back that it was never as bad as he liked to joke it was, but Robb only laughed. “Maybe, I suppose we’ll see whose the needy one in the next few weeks won’t we? Who knows, with three wolves crying for your attention now, the needy one might be me.”

Halfheartedly hid Robb hear his own mother snap out with bemused ease, “That has always been the case.” Turning with his face twisting in mock offence asking what exactly she meant by that, his mother was sharing a highly entertained look with you behind him, knowing you gave a look that matched how amused she was with herself. “Out of all my children, you had always been the neediest as a baby.”

His gaze dripped downward to a look mocking of disapproval but she could read right through Robb. Especially when he could glance down and watch his son gently holding onto the edges of the blanket little Lyanna was wrapped in, as if knowing he didn’t want to interrupt her own sleep but watching with wide eyes. You caught him right away as he turned back, your own gaze unbearably sweet as Robb looked back.

Just in time as the baby finished, Robb helped you carefully lift him up to burp taking no time at all before his head dropped down a bit into your neck and shoulders much like Ned did with both of you. The baby though hid a bit in your hair, you could read the question in his eyes if you wished for him to take the baby but you shook your head. Happy to keep the little one close as Robb only fixed your dress for you, before leaning to kiss the back of his newborn sons head.

Sensing a figure coming up beside him, Robb turned partway to see Ned crawling over before grabbing him and picking him up onto his lap. Holding him gently, he muttered down, “You want to stay and nap in here?” The little Nod warmed both your hearts as you shifted, your arm raising enough so that he had the space to crawl into your side, curling into you right away and still small enough that he wasn’t in the way of the baby.

Turning to glance at his mother, Robb nodded to the other side of the bed. Moving to sit next to you, but not before reaching over, to gently take his daughter from his mother, holding her close as he smiled fondly at the sight. “I’ll let your men know not to intrude for the time being.”

Muttering a genuine thank you, Catelyn smiled with shining affection in her eyes. Her husband may not be here to see it, but she was so grateful that she was here to see it for him. Their first boy together, now with a growing family of his own. Twins, if she could tell Eddard now. That Robb didn’t just have his second child, but it was twins. Mother protect her, was this castle going to be full of chaos in no time with three Stark toddlers running around.

She could recall standing outside of the Twins right before Edmure’s wedding, and seeing how happy Robb was at your side and wishing for nothing but to be able to go home and try to rebuild. It felt almost out of reach then, but it was here, and she closed the door gently, watching as Robb carefully held his baby girl while sitting beside you. The family she always wanted Robb to have.

Your eyes trained down on your two young boys, you felt Robb warm at your side as you gently shifted just enough to lean somewhat against him. His warm voice so soothing in your ear, “Have I mentioned that I’m proud of you yet.” Muttering that yes he had, many times, Robb grinned. “Aye, but I will say it again. I’m so proud of you.”

Turning to meet his bright blue eyes, you both felt a comfort wave over you before looking back to your newest son. A whisper on your lips, “What are we going to name him?” A hum of question came from Robbs lips, so you clarified. “Your son, we’ve had Lyanna’s name picked out for years now. We never talked about another boy name.”

You could feel Robb grinning, but didn’t know why. “Yes we did.” Turning to look at him, while gently shifting the baby now that he was fast asleep to lay out in your arms, his head covered by the top of the blanket next to Lyanna’s, Robb continued. “We agreed on a name the same night we picked out the name for these two.” His head nodding down to first Lyanna and then Ned, who too had fallen asleep so quickly.

Your brows narrowed in thought, and Robb knew with a playful, bemused grin exactly the moment you recalled it. Your face dropping amusingly flat as you rolled your head to the side with a raised brow. “Robb, he is not going to like that and you know it.”

He only grinned more, kissing what of your head he could reach. “If he were bothered to come visit again before they were born, like he promised, he might have gotten a choice in the matter.” You muttered that he had a lot on his place, but Robb only settled that. “I know, love. I’m teasing, he has his reasons. But, we also have ours.”

Both of you looking to the baby, you could see it. How much the name would suit him, just as Ned suited your first boy, and Lyanna suited the little girl now asleep in her fathers arms. A laugh huffed through your breath as he asked what was it. “If you asked me what? Five? Six years ago, what my life would’ve looked like today, I’d never have said this.”

“Neither would I.” His thumb gently ran over his daughters cheek, both your sons has your green eyes, but Lyanna had his blue eyes. Ned was growing up to look like a perfect blend of both of you, but he was nothing but eager to see what these two grew up to look like, who’d look like who and everything else. “But I’d never want anything else.”

Meeting your gaze again, Robb leaned over once more as you tried to gently meet his lips. Nothing greedy or needing, but deep and lingering as your three small children slept all around you. Resting your heads against the other as you muttered more low, for his ears only. “Cersei tried warning me. About not to fall in love with you.” He tried looking at you closer, a scowl forming in his brows but you didn’t look away from where your thumb ran over youngest sons cheek. “Before we arrived in Winterfell, she tried to warn me. That you’d disappoint me one day, that you’d move on, not want me. To give you your children, and only ever love them because I’d never get it from you. She tried telling me something similar, if perhaps a bit less morose when I was a girl too. I’d think about who I’d marry one day, and never came up with an answer of a man I would genuinely love.”

Something distant but amused twisted in Robbs features as he spoke up, “Didn’t you sabotage Cersei once? When she tried publicly announcing a betrothal?” You laughed right away, the memory so clear as Robb joined. “Little did you know then, you were merely saving yourself for me.”

Sighing happily, you leaned back against him, his head resting more atop yours. “I should’ve known how easy I’d fall for you on our wedding night.” Elaborating at his further hum of question. “I was terrified of it all. If you’d want a bedding ceremony, the bedding itself. I was terrified. But you had convinced me to be comfortable in what? Minutes? It was strange how easy it felt to be willing to do it with you.”

His lips again pressed against your hair. “I know I seemed eager, but I really would’ve been alright if you didn’t want too. Would’ve helped you change into something more comfortable, and at least helped you get used to sleeping beside me.” You only muttered that you didn’t need help with that, and Robb laughed, trying to hold back not to wake Lyanna in his arms. “Aye, that was after I had taken you twice though. Hard to not fall asleep beside me when I had you clawing down my back.”

Hissing with an instant fluster, “I did not-”

Robb only cut you off, his face so bright and amused at your instant reaction as if you didn’t presently have three children together. “I had the marks for days to prove it, my love. You’re lucky I dress myself, otherwise you’d have come back to a reputation of yourself already being a little she wolf.” Flustered, you only muttered that he had given you that reputation in the army camp, Robb laughed again. “Wanted my men to know that nothing they could buy would beat what I had every night for free.”

Shaking your head, Robb could read the still flustered look in you but also something playful. He spoke again before you had the chance too, but with something he knew you didn’t expect. “I’m sorry it took so long. To give you a baby. You never said it, but I knew you were frustrated with yourself the longer it never happened.” He was right, you had never said it because you didn’t even wish to think it. You were scared to tell him when you finally were, thinking you’d burden him at the worst possible time.

But then you received the news. That Bran and Rickon were thought dead, and his own grandfather had passed. With Catelyn still imprisoned having released Jaime Lannister, and Edmure’s foolish search for glory leading to losing the chance both to kill The Mountain and aid in your fathers capture of Kings Landing, all felt lost. Robb felt he had nothing but you left, and only the small barley grown baby in your belly seemed like there was a shred of hope. Without that, he might have felt he didn’t have much left to fight for, and you dared not think what would’ve happened then. If Robb truly felt alone and betrayed by everyone around him.

Even now, sometimes you both pondered if this peace would stay. Word from the Riverlands of the happenings in Kings Landing would reach you both, and it seemed at least, that peace would not go away for some time. Your father still on a fight for the Iron Throne looked more promising now then ever before. With Tommen as King, young and sweet and inexperienced he held no chance. Cersei it seemed was busy making a mess of things worse for him, and part of you felt sympathy. She in a few weeks had lost her eldest son and her father, both of which were said to be done at the hands of her own brother. You knew Sansa was not involved. Petyr Baelish had helped her flee Kings Landing, but was intercepted by Dacey Mormont and a squadron of men.

Robb and Catelyn knew that he would try and hide her in the Vale with her aunt Lysa, and sent Dacey to retrieve her. Luckily, even without having met Dacey herself, going with a woman of the North, a woman whose own title was trusting, a sworn shield of Robb Stark, managed to get her back.

Once you were able to ride home, the Ironborn all but fled. They stood no chance against the full strength of the Northern army with Robb leading and yet you still heard no word of Theon. Bran and Rickon weren’t dead as feared, they had fled and returned once Robb had, but none knew where Theon was. You didn’t want to know, in truth. He had betrayed Robb, betrayed you, betrayed the Starks and the place that was more home to him then the Iron Islands ever would be and he ran like a coward.

He knew he didn’t have the Stark boys, and he must have feared Robb turning around to take his head. Torched the castle and fled, where he was now, Pyke, dead, or something far worse, you did not wish to hear of it. He chose his path, and he chose wrong. And he decided to live with the consequences. According to Roose Bolton, his bastard Ramsay had gotten to the castle after the Ironborn torched it and left.

But now? You all sat in Robb and your bedchambers. Winterfell rebuild, family all reunited again, and peace was found in the new again Kingdom. Your sweet son, little Ned with auburn curls just like his father and green eyes just like you, cuddled asleep in your side. The shining bright light he didn’t know he was, just your baby boy truly. In Robbs arms, his newborn daughter, small and sweet. Named after Ned Stark’s long passed sister, Robbs tribute to reunite them with new life as they reunited in death.

You had expected her. Maester Luwin said by the way you were carrying, and the sudden and frustrating new craving you had for sweets were all indications of a girl. Robb had been elated, not a single thought in his head but getting to have a little girl of his own. He had helped raise his little sisters, he would be perfectly prepared for a girl of his own.

Saying to you in these very chambers that night, you only a few moons in but showing earlier then you did even last time, Robbs hands were on your stomach all the time. He’d kiss your stomach saying goodnight to his daughter, then carefully bring little Ned to do the same, telling him to say goodnight to his sister. Only babbles at first, but once he started to speak it got better.

Even now, Robb had told him his sister’s name and he couldn’t quite say it perfectly. He knew the name, and how it sounded, but as he did with many words he could say them just not eloquently. “Lya” he called her. A feeling in you that would be her nickname for some time. Robb though, he had put his son to bed, and held you looking out the window as the snow fell that night many months ago, the same window you both stood together at, minutes before he pulled you into his bed.

One hand firmly on your stomach as he spoke. “I don’t want her growing up the way you did.” Silent as you let him elaborate, pulling you just a tad closer. “A distant father, not letting you feel loved the way a father should love his daughter. I don’t ever want our little girl to grow up feeling anything close to that.” You only muttered that you didn’t think that would be the case, but he insisted you listen. “Just because you know something, my love, doesn’t mean you don’t still worry about. Remember how you knew I thought you were beautiful all through your pregnancy and after, but you still worried I wouldn’t want you anymore?”

A laugh left you, Catelyn had to help you then. Telling Robb a sort of sickness of the mind infected new mothers and filled their heads with worries and doubts beyond reason and being a mother herself worked very hard to help you realize that you had nothing to fear. Even then, you still worried some days. Robb had you long passed that now, but that night he knew and understood why you’d think of your future daughter and fear her repeating your life.

But as Robb held little Lyanna now, an adorable baby girl who was at complete peace sleeping in his arms, Robb knew there was nothing to worry about. He adored Ned, and was very vocal about that fact and he’d be the same to his newborn child, both of them.

Seven hells, he thought. Twins. He wanted a large family with you, but the gods had just made that want so much easier for him to obtain. The confusion when you still seemed to labour after Lyanna only for Luwin to confirm you carried another babe in your womb, Robb almost laughed then. He was sat behind you to lean back against, a support as he refused to ever let the midwives tell him to leave. If you weren’t in such a state, he would’ve told you already how happy he was. It would be chaos, it would be quite something.

His son already about to reach two years of age, and now two newborn twins to the mix there was no easing either of you into this. It was here and you both would deal with it. His eyes glanced over to you, your newest son asleep in your arms, almost curling into you as if wanting to be close as possible to his mother, and little Ned asleep against your side. Your boys were all over you, and you would spoil them both he knew. Just as he would spoil Lyanna. His little princess would never go without feeling like one if Robb was to have his way.

Now with the birth of a second son, he had what some Lords referred to it as, an heir and a spare. He never cared to look at Ned like his heir, he was young, and new to the world and all that mattered to Robb was that they were loved. His two Princelings and his little Princess in his own arms, they were just titles. Things to present them to the court as.

In the everyday, his children would run amok in the corridors carefree and spoiled and happy. Thats all he cared about. After needing to lose his own father, and fight years in a war to have his children, he’d do everything he could to ensure they didn’t suffer anything close to the ways he did before having them.

Looking back over, you hadn’t yet taken your eyes off any of them. Swapping your glance between all three, even going so far as to shift how you held the baby, so little Ned could more comfortably rest his head in your lap. His little arms trying to wrap around you as if wanting to protect you in your sleep as your newest son snuggled close into your chest as if wanting to be as near you as possible. He grinned, you both were right, that one was going to be a needy child for your attention. And he knew you’d spoil him.

Many times already, he would gently or even playfully suggest that you let Ned breath a little, not coddle him so much. He was a northerner, a Stark. He was fierce and tough and you were bundling him to go out into the snow as if he were one a layer away from freezing to death. You wanted to protect him and show him love, and if he could only just barley persuade you to ease up with Ned, with this one, there was little chance of that.

Raising a daughter would be perfect for you. You half helped raise Robbs little sisters, you half raised your little sister in Shireen. You would do perfectly raising a girl, showing her the motherly nature that you never got in full that you should’ve. But, he had a feeling his newborn son was going to be attached to you at all times, a true wolf pup sticking to his mothers side. In a strange way, it was suiting.

What his little son would be like, and to whom he’d be like that with? He wouldn’t burden you with that thought. Already you refused to speak how disappointed you were. He had promised he would come back, come visit as he put it, “before you have the next one.” But, here you were, twins and not a sign that he was coming to visit. If Lyanna filled the memory of an aunt the Stark siblings never knew, and Ned shined over the castle to reinstate faith they hadn’t had since the boys namesake was killed, then naming the baby boy in your arms was suiting, if not for everyone elses sake, but for yours.

Something in Robb’s brother struggled to accept his offer to return to Winterfell where be belonged, and struggled further now to even convince himself to visit no matter how much they all, but more importantly, you, wished for him to. But you wouldn’t say it, and he couldn’t convince himself to come anymore.

Thus it felt right. Naming the needy baby boy in your arms, Jon.

[k0k0-library]

MDNI: Your love? Our love, comrade!

Pairing: Il Capitano x F!reader Fandom: Genshin Impact Rating: 18+ Warnings: mature, smut, death, death mentions, corruption kink? or just corruption, power abuse, mentioned necrophilia if you squint your eyes real tight and tilt your head, free use, somnophilia

You are the traveller by the way. And I don't know how to write

Snezhnaya is a frigid and unwelcoming region. Snowstorm after snowstorm, frozen rain after frozen rain... and the enemies you encounter... are far more powerful than anything you faught before. The iced mitachurls from Dragon Spine seem like children or babies in comparison. You missed them, they were easy to overcome. Even the infuriating Capybara Boss from Natlan that could one-shot you was better than Il Capitano. The first of the Fatui Harbingers, the strongest man in the whole of Teyvat, him who destroyed his vision and faught the god of skill for days until he achieved victory was nothing weak. Not in the slightest.

"You were supposed to be so much more powerful, traveller. Such a pitty, really. I was looking forward to fight with you after that stunt you pulled with Mavuika..." The taller man's voice echoed in the icy abis of the forest clearing. The frozen, forest clearing mind you. The ground was slippery and it made you loose balance, whereas he was in his natural habitat. He was used to fighting in the snow. Your trusty companion rushed to your aid.

"But I am no brute, my dear. You are terribly hurt already, rest. If you do not have a place to shelter from the snow, you and Paimon are welcomed to join me at my platoon's main courts."

Was he genuinely being nice, or was this a Fatui Trap-

"We have food there" You weren't even hungry before he mentioned food, but your stomach slightly grumbled. You heard an even louder sound of need. "We are in!" You heard Paimon say rapidly, as she flew closer to the Captain. Sometimes, it was a wonder how she survived until now, so trusting of anyone who offered good food and shelter, a story and companionship... but again, she stuck with you longer than with anyone else. She even gave up food for you, but I digress.

"It seems your friend has made the decision for you. Come, my horse is tied not far from here." Capitano started to walk down a snowy path, his previous footprints still slightly visible. You walked behind him, with Paimon. You slightly nudged the small fairy and whispered in her ear.

"Do you really think we can trust him?" "Stop worrying! Paimon remembers he was very caring with us when we were in Natlan!"

Well she wasn't wrong per se. The first Fatui Harbinger was a cold and calculated man that most time let his blade do the talking; but he was a gentle soul, a true knight that held respect and care for even the tiniest beings in Teyvat. He had honour, that is why he did not let you continue fighting him when he realised you challanged him while still being injured from a snowed-korvin... one of the most brutal enemies in Snezhnaya.

"Paimon, I have a bad feeling about this..." "Paimon will watch him very closely and protect you from the big bad harbinger!"

She emphasised this by flexing her arms through her coat. The captain let out a huff of a chuckle, knowing full well about Paimon's pride without even glancing at her. "Ah, it is most admirable of you, tiny one. But I promise I will behave around your friend." Capitano said as the image of a huge Lavian Horse came in closer.

The Lavian was a horse type specially bread to withstand cold. They were big, emanating heat through their stone-like skin. They had little fur, mostly around their glossy black hoves. Theis blood was like lava, the veins visible from the cracks in the skin. Their manes often composed of fine and long hairs.

Capitano's horse was a particularly warm one, very warm. And its maine and tail were braided short to be easier to move in the snow. "My Kan is very skiddish, try not to move too quickly around him." A scardy horse belonging to such a mean, big-bad Fatui? This was not something you see everyday. But, nevertheless you listened to him and waited patienlty for him to untie Kan, as he called the horse. Capitano got on, helped you up in front of him and Paimon rested in one of the bags wrapped to the saddle, falling asleep almost instantly.

"Your companion seems very tired" You said nothing as he urged the mount to start its slow walk to the camp. "Not much of a talker with me? You can trust me, I do not bite pretty women such as yourself" You cringed a little at his statement. If it weren't for your leg injury, you would've faught and maybe won. Hopefully won... ok no, you would've lost like a child when fighting a tiger.

Your toughts were cut short as one of his arms wrapped around you, pulling you in closer to not fall. "Steady, traveler. The last thing you need is to faceplant in the snow. I don't want you sick on top of being injured. A korvin slashed your leg, as I can tell."

You wanted to pull away from his grasp and take Paimon and leave, but you couldn't. You couldn't fight him off, even when he had an arm lightly wrapped around you. You just realised how strong this man really was. "Yes. I hate them, the korvins"

"Hm... likewise. I once encountered a wild korvin in my youth. I still have the scar, I believe." "Can I see it?"

What were you thinking, asking him to see his scar like that? It was very unusual, he was your enemy. More than a rival, more than a bad guy, more than someone standing in your way to finding your brother. You felt a weird warmth in your stomach as his hand traveled lower and lifted your short coat slightly. "You are going to he ok, I don't sense any poisoning. Meaning it was a raised korvin, not a wild one." Fuck, those big, rough, warm hands of his. They made you think things that you never thought about. Not even with Childe in his Foul Legacy form.

---------------

You woke up as he nudged you. You had arrived at the camp, but it was very quiet. Too quiet. Where were the others- wait... When did you even fall asleep in his arms? It must've been somewhere around the middle of the journey. You were tired and cold, and in need of so much sleep and rest. "Easy, traveller. You had a bad dream..." He got off Kan and tied him by the stable, then gently scooped you up and held you in his arms close to him for a moment. Like a child.

"Stay close, and do not wonder off in the camp too much. My men must be in a miscellenious arrand for the Tssaritsa at the moment."

He was so gentle while setting you down. His gestures and care made you blush in ways you never thought a man can make you feel. Capitano thengently took Paimon out of the bag. "You too, tiny one. Wake up" He nudged her cheek with his finger but she was snoring deeply. You took her in your arms. "Paimon sleeps like a log, I'll take her"

The First Fatui Harbinger nodded slightly before taking you to his den. It was big enough to fit a makeshift bedding made of an ample collection of soft, feathery pillow and heavy, warm blankets; a chest that kept archon knows what and a small table. "You will be bedded here, both you and Paimon, as you call the little fae. Now as for your wound..." His voice trailed as he moved to the chest and pulled out an oinment and some bandages.

Was he... offering to patch you up for real? No ill intention, no nothing- "Do put Paimon down and lay too. It will be easier for me to tend to your leg. And please... never challange korvins again. They are horrible."

Carring, considerate, concerned. He was actually a nice person. Capitano moved with care in lifting your leg warmer further up ypur thigh, his gloved hands so big and rough in contrast with the way he trailed them. You were staring at this man's hands, like the weirdo you were. He took the gloves off for only a moment to put the oinment on your wound and you saw something peculliar. His skin was darck and ashy, almost black with sploches of fair tones to it and his veins glowing blue.

You saw this before... On Deinslief. His skin was decaying just the same. No... even more. He seemed to be in a more advanced state than Dein, but he did not complain of tiredness or pain like the blone did sometimes. "You need not concern yourself. The rotting of my flesh ceased at some point and it is not contagious, like many believed."

"It's not that-" "Then?" "Why are you helping me...?

Capitano dagged the soothing cream on your wound as he sighed. "You entered battle already wounded and I fear that I cannot fight you wounded. It would be shameful and ungracious of a knight to fight a wounded lady" He tightlighy wrapped your leg with bandages before putting your leg warmer back in place. So he really was just that obsessed aver rightfulness that he would help his adversary? Why was it kinda hot-

"Thank you..." "No need, cara mia"

Paimon finally woke up as Capitano put his gloves back on, grogily and hungry. Your companion noticed you were taken care of and relluctantly thanked the harbinger as well. The two of you were left alone in the den as he went to patrol around the are and see if his men were near. After all, he needed to tell them about your presence beforehand. This way, he will avoid future conflicts, whishfully.

---------------

Late at night, around a huge bonefire, everyone stood in a circle. Capitano and his small platoon, you Paimon. The fire warmed your heart and danced high in the nightsky. Your eyes were hurting each time you bore into the heat for too long, making you blink long and slow. Capitano noticed and one of his hands gently tipped your head to lean on his side, thinking you were just too tired to wait for the stew to be ready.

In the short distance you heard Paimon talking to the on-duty cook, telling him about the different foods she tried until now, drawing more attention to herself from the gourmands in the team. "You can rest, cara mia. I will wake you when they are finished." You wanted to protest and tell him you were not tired. What the hell, you were no child! You were a very big and independed woman, thank you very much.

Yet you couldn't deny that the fur of his coat was extremely cozy and warm... Or was it his body that was so warm? Maybe not. After all a decaying body should be cold and frigid like the Abyss Monsters and not warm and inviting. Maybe the pile of blankets was not only to keep warm at night, but to keep warm to his heart because he was slowly dying... The thought made you shudder. Seeing you, Capitano's hand moved to caress the small of your back.

"Cold, traveller?" "A little bit... But when I think how cold you must feel, it makes me feel better"

Ah, that didn't sound quite right. That sounded rude. Did he think you're rude? Did you- Your thoughts ware interrupted by a deep, rumbling chuckle of his " You are hillarious, little girl. I don't know what world you come from, but you and your friend do know how to lighten the mood. And for your concern," He leaned closer to your ear "I am not so dead as people might think I am"

You blushed, you didn't know why. Certainly what the first harbinger said was not blush worthy, yet you still did it. Of course, you blamed it on the heat of the fire as soon as he inquier you about it. You were an odd pair, but you did look cute together in situations like this.

The food was finally ready and everyone got a healthy portion of stew with sweet buns on the side, "How can such a tiny fary eat so much?!" You heard some of the poeple say and mutter as they watch Paimon eat her second helping. The cook was just happy to see someone so eager to eat his food and like it so much. And it was Paimon, a very well known picky eater. If his food were to her standards, then he could die happy right now.

After dinner everyone was retrieting to their dens. "Aren't you going to sleep?" You asked Capitano, confused to why he was not coming to the den.

"You go before me. I want to make sure the fire did not attract any wolven giants or other mutts. The Snezhnayan frozen forests are not for the weak, cara mia."

You had to admire his dedication to keeping everyone safe. He was a good captain- no... he was a wonderful man. you slowly went to the den, looking back at him every now as then, your heart skipping abeat whenever you saw his dark silouhette in the glow of the moon. He was beautiful, he was kind to you and Paimon. Deep down, you wanted to hurt yoursself again only to prelong this period of peace and care in your life and postpone your battle with him.

As the night got darker and darker, a snow storm started. You were growing anxious as he did not come back yet. You glanced around the den just to make sure: only Paimon fast asleep and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket like a burrito. You helped her with her 'anti snezhnaya cocoon'. You wanted to laugh really, she was such a pure and fun person... but you were too concerned. What if he's cold, what if something got to him. Just when you made up your mind to leave, he entered the den, snow falling from his coat, helmet and boots.

"I saw the light from outside" he wispered "you did not had to wait for me, you need rest" "I cannot sleep if you are not here, Capitano"

You could swear he was smiling under his helmet. He took off his coat and boots sitting next to you. Almost imediately, you wanted to jump in his arms and feel him closer, cuddle with him. But you didn't want to yet. "Just go to sleep, Y/N. I am not tired yet-" You cut him off, tilting your head enough to allow you to kiss him with his helmet still on. Capitano held your waist tightly with his big hands, holding you closer to him.

"What a good little girl I have...." He muttered as he pulled away. "But I am serious. Go to sleep..."

His voice was always so deep and calm, like a distant rumble in his chest. He was just so- "If you listen to me, I will give you what you want"

---------------

The morning was a particularly cold one. Paimon woke up first and womdered around the cook to pester him some more, as Capitano waited in the den for you to wake up. Thankfully, he did not had any missions or tasks today, so he could lose it with you. But was it really considered lost time if he loved it? If he loved you? But his patience was not endless, you know? And you looked so beautiful while sleeping, your skin soft and warm under his touch - he needed you. now, right now.

Capitano moved to the enterance of the den, secuting it closed so no one from the outside could open it, say Paimon. Lat thing he needed was that bubbly fae seeing what he will do to you. He gently took off the covers from you, seeing you shivver in your sleep. The den was warm enough, but the overheat that you created by hiding under all those blankets made you accustomed to heat.

"Cara mia... my little treasure you have no idea what you do to me... You make me feral!" He growled lowly, his gloved hand moving to the hem of your pants and slowly pulling them off, making sure you didn't woke up just yet. "So precious, so clueless. You fell in my hands like a little bunny."

He massaged your thighs for a bit, just taking in your body, like he was savouring a rare wine rather than touching the person he loved. He wanted to take his time and make sure he got your body memorised. He wanted to know what made you click, what made you, you. "I will take care of you, I will protect you and I will breed you, my little bunny" He hungrily ripped your panties off you, noticing that even in your sleep you were wet.

Were you such a slut that you had wet dreams about him just as he was touching you? Tsk, tsk, we can't have that. We can't leave out sweet girl alone and frustrated in her sleep now, can we? The harbinger leaned closer to you and looked at the nape of your neck. He didn't dare to mark you just yet, he can't ruin that perfectly soft skin of yours, not without permission from you. One of his gloved hands moved between your legs and settled right on your heated core.

What a hypocrite he was... But he already knew you wanted him, so his sins were going to be forgiven. His thumb roughly pressed against your clit, rubbing slow circles around it. Capitano made you gasp and wake up this way, your spidered view taking in the image before you in haze. "Hush, my love. You just close your eyes and let me take care of you"

He continued to work his way around your clit for a while before prodding your vagina with the pad of his finger. You couldn't, or better said, didn't want to do more than lay there and moan softly as he finally pushed a finger in. Capitano started to finger you softly at first, like it was your first time being touched like this by a man. And even if it wasn't he wanted to make you remember him as being better than anyone else, more caring, more loving of you.

"P-Please, I need you~" "Patience, my little one. I still need to stretch you out-" "Don't care! Need you...." You muttered as you cut him off. So rude, but he couldn't really blame you. He did have an efect on people.

He finally listened to your requests and you saw the harbinger shift his weight off you for a little bit. You were still so tired, your eyelids felt so heavy as you fluttered your eyelashed a bit. You closed your eyes for only a second, you swore! But you quickly opened them and claws at his back as he pushed in you.

He wasn't lying, he was big. Capitano's patience was already thin from waitin gfor you to wake up but he knew better than to start now. His dick touched you in all the right places. You whimpered and moaned for him to move. "Anything my little girl wants~" He growled in your ear and began to slowly pull his hips back and press them against your roughly again.

A hand was on your hip, sqeezing it tightly to emphasize his power over you, as his other arm lightly caressed your hceeck. His eyes bored into your soul, staring down into your core as he continued to make love to you. He felt so warm aginst you, he way right. 'not that dead yet'. His pace quickened, earning more whiny moans from you.

"Capitano, please! Please! I-i need to-" "Shh~ just let me take you"

And take you he did. As you tightened around him and came with a loud moan, he planted himself deep in you and spill his warmth in, painting the walls of your vagina white. Even if he was a fucking decaying corpse, you'd still want him... 'not that dead yet' you kept repeating yourself in your head.

"You are devine, my sweet~" He placed a gentle kiss on your lips, lazily pulling the covers over the both of you. "How about we sleep some more....?"

[merlinmylove]

I always find it so funny (in a heartbreaking way) when Arthur says “why didn’t you tell me?”

like dude ??

Merlin’s entire existence is outlawed

he was born a crime

how could he have, especially if Uther was still alive?

I understand Arthur feels betrayed and hurt because Merlin didn’t trust him but cmon let’s look at the show

Merlin has been sent to the stocks and the dungeons for being late with breakfast and missing laundry — what would the punishment be if he told the Crown Prince he was a traitor to the kingdom? Banishment, death, or worse? And what if Uther found out?

I don’t think Arthur would’ve killed Merlin, but he would’ve sent him away or hated himself for harbouring a sorcerer — he’s now a hypocrite for putting one person above the law while his father burns druid children

Gaius would’ve been hanged by association, and his mother killed for having concealed a dragonlord (let alone giving birth to another one)

Gwen was arrested twice on suspicion of sorcery, and Uther ordered her pyre built — the only reason she didn’t burn is because 1.Morgana spoke in her favour and, 2. Another sorcerer took the blame

(I love arthur so much but why does he never consider the fact that the love of his life and future queen, was almost innocently executed twice because there is no way of confirming she didn’t use magic — because how does one prove a negative?)

And I doubt Gwen is the first and only person to be falsely accused of sorcery, but she’s the one of few who had friends in high places who were willing to defy the King in order to save her life

If a Kings word is law then why even bother with a trial?

We’ve seen several times that Witchfinders or Druid catchers can steal people (probably citizens from other kingdoms) and earn a living by selling them to the King of Camelot

(and i don’t belive for a second every one of them had magic or were druids. Besides, the whole court now believes the witchfinder to be a fraud, so why does no one think about the future people accused of magic — how does one prove it?)

Mordred was hunted throughout the kingdom for a week simply for being born a druid (neither the King nor Arthur had any way of knowing if he actually had magic, he was simply guilty for existing within the borders of Camelot)

(Arthur risked everything in order to save the little druid boy — i wish this was spoken about more in the show but alas. Also, Gaius mentioned that Uther drowned several children — why does no one in the show discuss this? Does Arthur not know?

We know he feels immense guilt and grief over the raid in the druid camp he led and he did atone for it. I love Bradley’s acting in that scene, his voice breaks as he accepts the reality of what he has been apart of

Merlin saw all this. He lived all of it. How could he have told Arthur he had magic and expected a good outcome? He wanted to, multiple times — but the risk of banishment was too great.

But what about after Arthur is King? How could Merlin tell Arthur he has magic after Uther dies from magic, Morgana has gone mad from magic, and Aggrevaine betrayed him? Merlin could not bring himself to add more betrayal and heartbreak onto Arthur

I adore when fanfic discusses these aspects of the show and actually talks in detail about the horror Uther caused for over 20 years

Make Arthur think for himself and come to terms with what his father did, and also what his own legacy now is

Make Mordred, Morgana, Gaius, and Merlin talk about the horrors of the purge, and the the fear of living under Uthers rule

Make Gwen speak of what she experienced when she, and her father, were wrongly accused of a crime they didn’t commit — they were going to burn innocently, just like those children Uther killed

By Uthers logic Magic corrupts. It is a power one seeks out and must be studied. It is an evil — if that is the case then why did he allow Gaius to remain at court, and privately attend the king and his children? Surely Gaius would be corrupted by now…unless magic does not always corrupt…

I want Arthur to ask himself these questions— why was Gaius (the Kings friend) allowed to stay alive if he simply promised not to use magic again? Why were those innocent druid children not given the same choice?

Arthur asks himself several times if Magic is always evil, or if it can be used for good — and some times it’s almost successful, but in the end it’s like a catch 22 — Arthur sees (mostly) magic being used for evil so therefore it must be evil

I don’t want Merlin to be angry with Arthur or to have a screaming match with him — but I do love when Merlin passively aggressively sets the record straight

The canon answer he gives is “you would’ve chopped my head off” is perfect in my opinion because YES death always a possibility

Especially if Uther found out

(i don’t think Merlin is entirely blameless of course, he could’ve tried harder to sow the seed of doubt in arthur’s mind that maybe magic is not always evil — like after morgause or when arthur requested magic to heal his father, or when magic saves gwens life)

(if only merlin was braver, if only gaius was bolder, if only aggrevaine didn’t betray him, if only gwen spoke up, if only if only if only)

i love these boys so much and i love the angst and arthur’s heartbreak is so painful and merlin’s guilt is all-consuming

thank god for fanfic lol

but anyways this is my rant because i’m bored at my family christmas dinner so

[aloesarchives]

Domestic Headcanons w/ Mama!Reader and the Fushiguros #2.5: Teen!Mayumi (OC)

TW/Warnings: Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, unhinged crack, JJK OC(but not main x Reader), tons of swearing, Mayumi is truly a Gen Z kid

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns/Usage: She/Her, Mama/Mom

So, it's been awhile since I've actually posted anything. College, projects, life in general fuck my ass up frfr. On top of that, I got really bad writer's block and being burnt out. I've been spending time with family and friends and it's been giving me motivation to write again. So I'm trying to finish my long wips before my winter break ends!

I also made reference pics of Mayumi for anyone who's curious on what she would look like. These pics of Mayumi were based on my appearance since she's an self-insert combination of me and Toji lol. I had to work with what I got to visualize her. If you has questions or wanna ask more about her, feel free to drop an ask in my inbox!

(Credits to the creators of the photo generators from Piccrew and Storior. I didn't create the generators but used them to create these pics)

Preteen!Mayumi:

Teen/Highschool!Mayumi:

Mayumi wasn’t a menace or a problematic child. Nothing was too extreme that required strict parenting. As she grows up, she’s not as rebellious as you imagined. She only talks back to Toji, never you. But even then, she’s setting her boundaries up and setting herself up. 

She’s in her own little world, doing her own thing. A go-getter if you will.

Only taking after the green eyes of your hubby, she is a mini version of you through and through. Performing well and evolving into an academic weapon of mass destruction. School has never been an issue for her or will be in the future. She is a competitive person at heart but stays humble as much as she can. She most definitely does Kendo, Kyūdō, and Karuta. You and Toji always go to her competitions. She’s always on the podium in first place. She’s only good because Toji’s the only one who has the physical prowess to match. And Toji doesn’t go easy on her during their training. But your daughter is grateful that her Papa supports her interests and wants her to succeed, which proves your point that you made the right choice in choosing a husband and father for your children.

But Mayumi in her teen years, she turns a complete 180 and becomes a mini Toji. A menace. 

She isn’t a bully nor picks on others. It’s the other way around, she is fully beefing with egotistical kids that think they’re all that and can do anything. Her reasoning is quite interesting because she’s trying to show them that the stuff they pulled off wouldn’t slide in the real world. She’s helping them out because the stuff they pulled can be digging their own graves if they mess with the wrong people. The bullies jump her off-school grounds and after school hours, too bad it leads them to either having a bruised complex, pride, or straight up CTE.

She never fought in school, no never. That's after-school activities for her. Even if that were to happen and you and Toji had to be called down, the only thing that matters to Toji is whether or not Mayumi won. But the answer is always the same, which is yes. That’s you as well but you had to be the reasonable parent in the situation. If any of the parents of the bullies trifle with you, you can pull your connection cards on them and it shuts them up good.

“Oh, you think your threats scare me? Bold of you to assume I could feel shaken by someone like you. It’s not like your company violated several labor and wage laws, or your money embezzlement affairs? Hm?”

Once she got to high school at Jujutsu Tech, no one wanted to shit on her because they all know they’ll get boxed up by her after hearing the things she’s done to people that tried her.

She never explained how she controls her impulses. She credits her strong will power but you remember your husband is Toji. And with that, you know her sudden urges to do something reckless/impulsive are watched under the supervision of her father. You know this because one day you saw her long jump over the koi pond in the backyard of your home. She cleared it with perfect form and footing. You’re dead when Toji starts teaching her optimal forms and techniques so she could have a higher vertical and be nimble in the air like he is. 

She isn’t a trouble-maker. She’s not as reckless or impulsive like others around her age. You ask her why she doesn’t participate in day adventures or nightly escapades. She said most of her friends have curfews and can’t be out late. All of them have different routines so it’s hard to find time to hangout on the weekends. Mayumi also said she doesn’t know what’s lurking at night and wants nothing to do with it. And She knows Toji will know whether she snuck out at night. But she doesn’t want to cause you and Toji any trouble so she either doesn’t get into trouble at all or does but it’s a situation she knows she can easily handle herself.

She is a certified Zen’in hater and the most vocal about it too. She really doesn’t acknowledge that half of herself and purposely avoids talking about them in a familial matter. 

She is definitely stealing Toji’s old clothes and adding them to her wardrobe. The jackets he doesn’t wear anymore? She stole them and is a part of her wardrobe. She says she is repurposing them when she really wants them. 

Most of her teen years were filled with K-pop, her aesthetic is Y2K for sure. The staples of her closet are cargo pants, those long retro denim skirts, oversized t-shirts and jackets.

Because Shui sometimes visits Korea for business, Mayumi is always asking him for a TWICE, New Jeans, or BTS vinyls. She gets him all three in her room on display and plays them when she wants to chill out in her room.

Mayumi likes to spend time with Maki, Mai, and Nobara. Trains with Maki alongside Toji. No wonder Mayumi is so good at fighting. She was literally taught by PEAK.

The sibling banter, oh my god. “Mom, get this Emo kid off his ass and tell him I need him to come with me to watch a movie!” “Why me? Can’t you ask Tsumiki or your friends?” “Ugh, because my friends are busy and Tsumiki-Nii won't come home until after her club. Plus, you’re not doing anything right now and today’s our weekly sibling bonding time!” Megumi groans and grumbles before getting up off the couch and grabbing his wallet. Or her saying, “Gumi-Nii, this is why you got no maidens” when Megumi told her to leave him alone when she went into his room to bother him. 

Megumi has to deal with her as he is the main victim of her antics. Getting teased and roasted endlessly. He knows everyone's footsteps and knows who coming. That's only because he needed to recognize when Mayumi is coming and needs to mentally prepare himself when interacting with her. This is what happens when Mayumi got your looks but Toji's personality.

Begs Megumi to bring out his shikigamis so she can take pictures of/with them. Putting silly accessories on them like bows and hair clips. She puts hats on his divine dogs or take pictures of them at funny angles.

Don’t get me started on her inheriting Toji’s shit talking and banter. Her snide remarks and roasts are creative and out of worldly that Toji takes mental notes. Prime example, upon learning Toji and Satoru’s “shared past”, her insult library grew. “Dad, I don’t wanna hear anything from you! I’m talking to the same man who had beef with a bunch of high schoolers because his pockets were itching!” Turns to you “Can’t believe you looked at this and thought, ‘Oh, I’m definitely gonna make him my husband and the father of my future kids.’” You raised an eyebrow at her when you looked up from your laptop, “Mayumi, Dearest, you can’t be saying that. If I never gave that man a chance, you, Megumi, and Tsumiki wouldn’t exist. Besides, if it wasn’t for me, your Papa would be seeing a Michael Jackson concert or be at a Tupac meet and greet right now.” On second thought, maybe she got the shit talking from you too.

Continuing on the previous thought, Mayumi will say the most out of pocket, unhinged, crazy type of insults and curses you will ever hear. A prime example of this was during the Tokyo-Kyoto exchange event in Mayumi’s first year Jujutsu Tech. It was a 1v1 tournament between the Kyoto and Tokyo students. Mayumi’s opponent happened to be a third year student from the Zen’in clan. As you were watching from the sidelines with Toji, you couldn't help but notice Mayumi’s expression. She was locked in and basically mean-mugging them. Any and all insults were brushed off and unfazed. As she expected, your daughter knew her distant relative would pick her a part for being a celestial restricted user and not having any curse energy. As the fight went on, Mayumi was getting annoyed. Not because her opponent was hard, oh no not that. She was annoyed by the fact her opponent was all bark and no bite. Like her opponent was legit trying but it wasn’t enough for her. She could’ve easily ended the match, Toji and you knew that from the start, but she wanted to hold out in case her fight would get interesting. Alas, it didn’t and Mayumi was disappointed as hell. As she would put it, she’s related to frauds. Her opponent was yapping away with the classic “You got lucky” and “this isn’t my full power” shit. Now she’s just getting mad that her opponent was absolute garbage. Her opponent said something that you couldn’t quite make out, but Toji did as he let out a huff. You guessed it set off Mayumi because she stared them with the iconic Toji glare, clenched fists and teeth, and said “Choke on my dad’s dick and get pegged by my mom, you damn fraud!” Then proceeds to give that Zen’in the most devious combo imaginable, it connected so well it would be a perfect score in any fighting game. The fight was over with the obvious winner being Mayumi. But you and Toji, stunned for a solid five seconds before bursting out in laughter. For as vulgar and out of pocket your daughter was for saying that, it was creative. Toji even had tears in his eyes because he was dying of laughter but also how proud he was of Mayumi. That combo was crispy and only his daughter could do something like that.

She is so much like Toji that when she was fighting a Zen’in member(s) (99% Naoya), she locked in and did a pose. She had this look in her eyes and her grin was done in a way that’s almost primal. Then everything clicks and she’s giving them flashbacks because she’s giving TOJI AURA. She’s reminding them of Toji and piecing them up like her Pops. As Mayumi likes to put it, she’s running it back to her papa. The get back on the Zen’in clan for Toji. And she fucking delivers, ate that shit up and left no crumbs behind. She’s infamously known to be compared to Toji in the Jujutsu world but she wears that shit with pride and honor. “Disrespect my papa, then I’ll give you guys that generational fade that even your descendants will feel the secondhand embarrassment that you’re their ancestors. Straight up Frauds.”

Forces Toji to take selfies with her. Just a teenage daughter dragging her dad around. She’s just a girl, your dearest daughter, just dragging your 6’1 boulder of a husband around. Doing those drink dates and posting them. 

Okay, in my Modern/Toji Lives Au, since Shui doesn’t dip out and go under the radar he has a presence in the kids' lives. Every Time he’s over, he and Toji are yapping away at each other. Every time Mayumi is about to go out, she stops by and greets Shui and Toji before leaving. Usually she would be out the door when she has to go somewhere but there’s always a five minute gap. Turns out, she waits for Shui to give her cash and leaves with at least  29,000 Yen(close to $200 US). Watching this unfold is sometimes jarring because your husband and his friend at one point in time wretched havoc in the Jujutsu/underground world. Now, they’re just two older guys, chilling on the engawa of your home, and having a drink.

Mayumi is running Satoru’s pockets. Gifts, money, anything you name it, he’s getting her something. Satoru told you that as the unofficial oldest child and brother, it’s his job to get gifts and provide some financial incentive to his younger siblings. Since this is voluntary for Satoru, Mayumi is taking full advantage of it. When Mayumi got to that age, Satoru even offered to pay for schooling if she wanted to go to college/university or study abroad. Toji felt a bit insulted with how Satoru was casually flexing his wealth right in front of him. But Toji being the guy with an eye for better deals, he’ll silently let Satoru spurge on Mayumi if it meant he didn’t have to spend a single dime on her.

Ends up having a popular social media presence because she went viral from a post that had you and Toji in it. It was caption with something like "I want what they have/ Why my standards in love are so high" and it's you and Toji doing domestic stuff with Toji having this loving look on his face and you giving him a soft tender expression.

She doesn’t take her account seriously and just posts fun stuff or things for shits and giggles. Probably makes Toji do trends with her or takes videos of him doing mundane things around the house that got netizens foaming at the mouth. Then netizens start foaming at the mouth and become rebid when they find out about you. Doing a mom reveal and people were asking in the comments your skincare/makeup routine, making barking noises, etc. Then she does a family reveal where she includes Megumi and Tsumiki and people say the most unhinged things.

“You guys need a table? I can be a table for you guys”

“If yall need a chair, I’m the best chair to sit on. I can hold everyone.”

“Bro, please, save some for the rest of us! Like, let me have a fighting chance! Please!”

It gets worse when she posts a picture or video of her hanging out with Satoru, Suguru, or Nanami.

When Mayumi reveals both you and Toji’s ages, she did a video of your secrets while you say something sweet and practical like family and dropping your skincare routine then there’s Toji’s portion of the video. Toji just says: “My wife” and that’s it, does not elaborate on it. When Mayumi presses on, Toji responds “Your mom, Mayumi. I mean, do I need to say anything else because I legit got nothing else, Sweetheart.”

She does those livestreams to answer questions, you sometimes watch them when you’re away from home. They make you feel better and you do get a laugh out of them. 

Mayumi doing a livestream: “How old is my dad–? Too old for you all! And he’s married! shows a picture of you in the livestream Married! He’s taken! So stay away from my father! Stay away from my father, guys!”

Did a livestream with you and Toji and the amount of time Mayumi had to chastise Toji because the stuff he says will get her banned is hilarious and you are just watching the carnegie unfold right before you.

She did one livestream with her friends doing the hear me out challenge. And one of them pulled out Toji’s picture and put it on the brownie cake. Mayumi: “gasps! That’s my dad! Why the hell did you guys put my dad in!?” It gets worse when her other friend puts a picture of you in there too. Everyone was laughing while Mayumi was straight up flustered and stressed. Poor girl, she doesn’t need to be reminded that everyone wants to bang her parents.

Mayumi begged you to do that trend where daughters put their mothers in their style/clothes. That post was a hit but Toji wasn’t home for that. So when she made a post of Toji’s reaction to the post where you’re wearing Mayumi’s Y2K clothing, it was a hit too. That’s because as Mayumi sends him the post and he watches the post on his phone, Toji watches the video before looking up at Mayumi, with her phone pointed at him, and saying, “You want a younger sibling, Mayumi?” And she lets out a scream that was perfectly cut at the end of the video. 

Toji definitely spends the most time with her, they are very close to each other. They vibe on another level that you know you can’t even get. You’re aware she confides about anything and everything to you but always goes to Toji first since he’s more empathetic of her situations and what she goes through.

She’s the extrovert of the family (if you weren’t already one) but spending time and being near her is fun and entertaining. Mayumi is the apple to everyone’s eye but knows when to be strong and stand ten toes when she needs to be. She’s still a kind, considerate, and compassionate person. She’s just more outspoken now that she’s a teenager and she’ll stand on that. She’s a wonderful mix of you and Toji and is a certified Gen Z kid who loves her parents and siblings.

Taglist:

@luqueam @ploylulla @tqd4455 @wolywolymoley @captainbabybear @ravenswife @tqd4455 @k-kkiana

Taglist(w/o links):

@szillx @SleppyAnn @g0th1xac1d @kneelarhmstrung

[zaundads]

In the Jinx Fixes Everything game Silco kept Vander's favorite record locked away in a safe (together with a picture of Silco, Vander and Felicia) and the room where the children used to sleep appears to have remained untouched.

(about tracking Vander/Warwick)

Going down to the basement:

So it is a place of memories, but at the same time it seems to be a place that Jinx didn't feel comfortable using. I don't think she slept or played in the room she used to share with her siblings. She seems to be unsettled by it. So there is no pratical benefit for Silco having this place (it's not making Jinx more comfortable and by keeping it preserved he isn't just making use of the space).

The game is about tracking down the same song that is playing in the scene with Felicia, Vander and Silco.

Vander used to dance to this song, together with the children causing it to become Jinx's favorite song as well.

While Silco removed the song and locked it away in a safe:

IMO there's definitely a combination between changing and preserving. Just like Silco is keeping Vander's children (at first he tried to get Vi, but then took Powder instead) and of course he tries to form Jinx.

It's also interesting that clicking on the green glass window in the office makes Jinx talk about Vander.

I don't think collectively we talk enough about the fact that Silco moved in to Vander's house after he killed him

Like you're going to tell me he didn't sleep in Vander's bed that first night and have feelings™

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

LMLY - Act One

Choi Y/N hasn’t seen her long lost best friend Yoon Jeonghan in four years and doesn’t even recognize at first him when paramedics roll him into the OR after a motorcycle accident during her shift. She kind of expects to go back being total strangers as soon as he’s discharged, but Seungcheol has something to say about that when he asks them to be Best Man and Maid of Honor for his wedding. 

You can find the masterlist here.

LMLY is the sequel to Calico. You don’t need to read Calico to follow along with most of this story, but it will make things more enjoyable if you do. 

Genres: fluff; angst; smut; best friends to strangers to lovers; wedding au

Pairing: Jeonghan x female reader

TW/CW: MDNI, contains explicit smut, some tough family dynamics such as divorce, a lot of marriage and wedding talk, mentions of having children, mentions of depression, mentions of manipulative relationships, quite a few details about accidents and subsequent medical procedures and issues. 

A/N: I am not in the medical field, so please forgive any inaccuracies included in this story. 

Word count: 13.6k

This is a repost of a previous fic I did. It was one of the first fics that I ever posted on here and I wish I had made some different choices aesthetically. The content will be the same, it will just be a little prettier and more readable.

“Be honest. Would you tell me if you were practicing witchcraft?”

Y/N stared blankly at Joshua. “I think you’d know since we’ve lived together for 7 years. Have you ever caught me working on a spell at 3am or drawing pentagrams on our floors?”

Joshua’s eyes narrowed across the break room table. “You’re starting to sound an awful lot like someone that knows something about witchcraft.”

“And this is starting to feel like another witch hunt. This isn’t The Crucible, Joshua,” Y/N exhaled loudly. “Why are you accusing me this time?”

“The curse of threes!” Joshua cried. A tired nurse grumbled from one of the break room couches and Joshua mumbled a ‘sorry’. “My date last night was terrible!” He adopted a whisper yell. 

Y/N hummed. “What was it this time?” 

Joshua huffed, “Well, for starters she was late, which is whatever. Things happen. But then she was rude to the waitress the whole time. You know I can’t stand that after waiting tables as long as I did. And then she chewed with her mouth open the whole time and straight up slurped her drink.” Y/N mumbled a sympathetic, ‘gross’, which had Joshua yelling again. “I know! Disgusting.” 

“I’m sorry, but I fail to see what I have to do with that, Shua,” Y/N rolled her eyes, taking a bite of salad. The two of them often ate lunch together when they were on the same shift. It’s what they would do back home in their apartment where they’ve been roommates for years. Conveniently, they’re on the same shift tonight and popped into the cafeteria for something to eat in between patients.

Joshua is an emergency room physician with a shiny new license as of this year. Y/N is still a resident training under Dr. Hwang, one of the most renowned surgeons in the country. It’s sheer luck that Y/N got that placement three years ago, and Dr. Hwang is kind of a hard ass, but he’s hands down the best to learn from. 

“You’ve cursed us,” Joshua insists. “Only Mingyu has survived past the third date and it’s all your fault.”

“No, no! This is karma at work. And Mingyu shouldn’t have made it past date number two but Harin is just too sweet of a person to tell him that,” Y/N reminded, wagging a finger. Joshua scoffs, reaching out to grab it. 

“We’ve said we’re sorry for nearly a decade. When will it be enough?”

Joshua is referring to the time that he and a number of other guys tried to ruin Y/N’s life. Y/N had been quite the prolific serial dater back in college and it had hurt enough mens’ feelings to make them seek revenge. Even years later, they still experienced what they unaffectionately called the ‘curse of threes’ and blame her entirely for it. Y/N didn’t take it seriously and believed it was just one big case of confirmation bias. They were seeing what they wanted to see because they still had a guilty conscious. 

“It seems that the universe says no, it hasn’t been enough,” Y/N teased. “I don’t want to jinx it, but I think they’ve finally forgotten about setting us up though.”

This lightens Joshua’s mood and he laughs. “Yeah, it’s a record. Five whole months of no blind dates.” 

Their friends had got it into their head years ago that she and Joshua would make a good pair. They got along on most things and when they didn’t they bickered like an old married couple. Their friends had tried numerous times over the years to set them up, but it hadn’t gone anywhere and it probably wouldn’t. 

“When are you going to get back out there? It’s been years since you’ve been on a date that you weren’t forced to go on or that wasn’t with me. Or both,” Joshua asked. 

“Joshua, you know I’m too busy. I’m not really interested in adding anything to my plate.”

Joshua rolls his eyes because he’s heard that excuse before. He’s about to snap back when both of their pagers go off. Abandoning their lunches, they hustle out of the break room.

The charge nurse met them in the hallway. “What is it?” Joshua asked calmly, though they’re both tense and waiting. 

“Motorcycle accident. No helmet apparently. Paramedics suspect internal bleeding. ETA about two minutes,” the nurse says quickly. She’s experienced and Y/N can tell. You don’t react this nonchalantly if you haven’t seen this sort of thing everyday for years.

“Has anyone called Dr. Hwang yet?” Y/N asked. As a resident, she was limited in what she could do without him present, and he was on call tonight while she was here. 

“Yep. He’s on his way but he said you can assist Dr. Hong until he gets here,” the nurse said. 

The doors to the ER fly open and paramedics are rushing a gurney in. Things move fast from that point. There’s some blood, and the paramedics are talking about rapid heart rate and low blood pressure. Y/N follows Joshua into the OR immediately because it’s looking like that’s where they’ll need to be shortly anyway and there’s more room and equipment to handle the complications that may come up until then. 

“Do we have an ID yet?” One of the nurses asks.

“A Yoon Jeonghan, according to the ID in his pocket,” one of the paramedics answers. 

Joshua and Y/N both freeze. Y/N is staring at the patient now. How could she not recognize her childhood best friend through a little blood? “Y/N,” Joshua snaps. “Lock in and think about this later. I need your help.”

Y/N follows every instruction that Joshua gives her including starting CPR at one point. Her hands ache by the time a heartbeat comes back and she doesn’t have time to think about any of it right now. She’s relieved that Joshua is so cool under pressure because she’s doing everything she can to quell a panic attack that’s crawling up her throat.

“Internal bleeding is a definite,” Joshua says when the heart rate is somewhat steady again. Y/N looks at him blankly. “The bleeding around the eyes, nose, and ears. Skin is clammy. Abdomen is swelling. I think you and Hwang are going to have to go in and check it out.” Now Joshua has turned to a nurse to document his findings. “Internal bleeding likely. Looks like a broken wrist. Bad case of road rash. Concussion and whiplash are likely. After surgery, I want a fully body X-ray and MRI to make sure there’s nothing we’re missing.”

Y/N finds herself speaking before she can help it. “No contrast dye. He has an allergy.”

“Good to know,” Joshua said, gesturing to the nurse to write it down. 

Dr. Hwang arrives and Y/N thinks her heart might beat out of her chest as she scrubs in. She’d like to think she’s usually cool under pressure, but this isn’t just anyone on the table tonight. Dr. Hwang is all business, talking fast as he gets started right away. They’re performing a thoracotomy, which is a fancy way of saying they need to check for internal bleeding around the lungs or heart, usually caused by broken ribs. And Jeonghan certainly has a few. 

Dr. Hwang makes the first cut and Y/N has to suck back tears. She’s on autopilot as Dr. Hwang lets her take over after he finds the source of the bleeding. She carefully closes the source, praying she’s doing it right because her hands want to shake so badly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, logic tells her that Dr. Hwang wouldn’t wait a single second to correct her if she was doing something wrong. He must assume it’s nerves and he’s not totally wrong. 

Then she’s stitching Jeonghan’s chest up and moving on to set his broken wrist while a couple nurses treat the road rash and lacerations that scatter his body. He’s surprisingly stable and Dr. Hwang and Joshua both comment on it. His heart rate is still elevated but his blood pressure as come up a little. 

When Y/N finally steps out of the OR, she’s in a daze. She barely hears Dr. Hwang congratulate her as he passes by, patting her on the back. Not the way she expected to spend her night. She never thought she’d be saving her childhood best friend’s life. 

Jeonghan wakes up to sunlight and it confuses him. Last he was aware, it was the middle of the night. What confuses him more is the way his body aches before he even moves. He can’t help but groan at the intensity of it. His sight is blurry, but he can make out an unfamiliar white tiled ceiling. His whole body screams as he lifts his head to look around. A hospital room? 

He needs an explanation fast because he’s starting to panic. He hates hospitals. He presses the call button laying next to him half a dozen times and it feels like it takes an eternity for someone to come in. It’s a smiling nurse in blue scrubs. “Good to see you’re awake, Mr. Yoon.”

Normally, he’d try to be friendly, but he wants out of here pronto. “What happened? Why am I here and when can I go home?”

His throat is bone dry when he talks and she must be able to tell because she’s quickly holding a cup of water with a straw to his mouth. “You were in a motorcycle accident last night. I’m not sure how long you’ll be here for, but the doctors and surgeons were optimistic. Your surgery went surprisingly well given your injuries.”

He doesn’t feel like it went surprisingly well. He feels like he’s been run over by a truck, which… okay, not far from the truth, from the sounds of it. “When can I see a doctor? I’d like to leave today.”

The nurse looks sympathetic but shakes her head firmly. “I’m sorry, Mr. Yoon. That’s probably unlikely. But I’ll let your doctors know you’re up and ready to chat. How would you rate your pain from 1-10?”

He wants to say 12, but it’ll keep him here longer for them to poke and prod him, so he bites his tongue and says 6. The nurse pats his hand. “I’ll bring you some pain medication.” He must doze off again, because he wakes up to the nurse hooking up his IV. She’s on her way out when she passes by someone else and that someone surprises him in the worst way. 

“I think you owe me a drink, Yoon Jeonghan.” 

Jeonghan wants to groan. “Joshua? Didn’t realize you worked here now.”

Joshua is smiling ear to ear, wearing a pristine white coat with a stethoscope around his neck and everything. He’s the textbook image of a young doctor just out of med school. “Been here for years in one way or another, but I’m officially an ER doctor as of earlier this year.” Jeonghan knew that, but he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of admitting it. He hated Joshua and he was pretty sure Joshua knew it. 

“So, what’s the damage?” Jeonghan says, trying to keep it light. The morphine is kicking in and Jeonghan can sort of think again, but they’ll have to talk fast before it doesn’t too much.

Joshua whistled, flipping a page on his clipboard. “Not as bad as it could be. The big one is broken ribs causing internal bleeding in a lung. Broken wrist, concussion, whiplash, a serious case of road rash, and some nice cuts and bruises.” 

“Not as bad as it could be, huh?” Jeonghan says dryly. “When can I leave?”

“We want to keep you for a few days at least to monitor any potential complications. Surgeons’ orders. Internal bleeding is a fickle thing. Sometimes it’s obvious like it was last night, but sometimes it’s pretty sneaky and we don’t want to send you home until we’re sure there’s nothing else. Plus, your pain is going to be worse over the next few days and we can help manage it here.” Joshua’s tone leaves little room for argument so Jeonghan sighs. 

“I guess I owe the surgeon a drink too, huh?”

Joshua laughs but there’s something weird about it that makes Jeonghan raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, you do. Y/N worked hard on that. I saw it myself.”

Jeonghan’s heart skips a beat and he hates that Joshua can hear it on the monitor. “Y/N? What are you talking about?”

Joshua raises an eyebrow in entertainment. “She’s a general surgery resident here and was working last night. She helped stitch you back up inside and out.” Jeonghan cursed, flopping back onto the pillow and he’d punch Joshua if he could reach him because he’s laughing now. “Even Dr. Hwang was impressed with her work, which is saying something. You’re lucky to call her your best friend. Anyway, I’ll come back around later to check on you, but call if you need anything.”

Jeonghan covered his face, groaning. Could she even be called a best friend if they hadn’t talked in years?

Y/N wanted to do anything and everything besides go upstairs and see Jeonghan in the ICU. She was still feeling pretty raw about last night but she couldn’t exactly tell Dr. Hwang that when he waved her towards the elevator. It’s standard procedure to brief the patient about their surgery when they’re awake. She knows this and has done it hundreds of times now, but she just wanted any excuse to not walk into room 205. 

Jeonghan is propped up in bed as he watches TV. Supposedly he’s been awake since about 10am and he looks incredibly alert at 4pm. He also looks like he’s not totally surprised to see her. Y/N wonders if Joshua had mentioned her when he visited earlier. 

“Mr. Yoon, I’m Dr. Hwang and this is my resident, Dr. Choi. How are you feeling?”

“Could be worse, probably,” Jeonghan says lightly and Y/N has to resist the urge to slap him. He’s always had a habit of avoiding taking things seriously, and laying in the hospital bed after emergency surgery last night classifies as a time to be serious. 

Nevertheless, Dr. Hwang appreciates the humor and laughs. He always likes the patients that can crack a joke because most of the job is pretty doom and gloom. “That’s good to hear. Well, I know Dr. Hong has already stopped by to see you. But we did your surgery last night when you came in and we wanted to give you a rundown of what happened and what’s happening next. You had some pretty severe internal bleeding in one of your lungs so we had to perform a thoracotomy, which means we had to open up the chest cavity to find the source of the bleeding and stop it. It was touch and go for a while but I’m very impressed with how quickly you stabilized. That being said, we want to keep you for a bit for observation and do a few more tests to make sure there’s nothing sneaky happening before we send you home.”

Jeonghan sighed. “I’d love to get out of here but I guess I’ll take your word for it.” 

Again, Dr. Hwang must find him funny. “I don’t have a pretty medical degree for nothing. But it was actually Dr. Choi that made the decision. She’s got the steadiest hands of any resident I’ve ever trained, but she’d like to check your stitches and rebandage you while she’s here.” Y/N is so surprised by both the compliment and unplanned bandage check that she doesn’t react much when Dr. Hwang dismisses himself as his pager goes off. That leaves Y/N alone with Jeonghan and her temper is flaring fast.

She approaches the bed, ignoring Jeonghan when he calls her name questioningly. The clipboard in Y/N’s hand slams down on the foot of the bed. “Yoon Jeonghan, what the fuck were you thinking? Speeding on a motorcycle with no helmet? Do you realize how bad that could have been?!”

Jeonghan’s eyes are wide. “Y/N, I can explain…” She knows she’s never yelled at him like this, but this moment feels appropriate because it’s the first time she’s ever had a good reason to. 

“Can you explain how my heart nearly fell out of my ass when I realized it was you on the operating table? Or how I had to do CPR to keep you alive for nearly ten minutes? Do you have any idea how scared I was? And don’t even get me started on the surgery. I never ever wanted to see your lungs and heart.” Y/N is biting back tears because it would be entirely unprofessional to cry right now. But she’s known Jeonghan since she was in diapers and she’s probably going to have nightmares for a long time about last night. 

“Y/N, I’m okay, both Joshua and Dr. Hwang said so…” Jeonghan tries to soothe but it doesn’t have much of an effect. Y/N is too worked up now.

“Do you realize you could have been decapitated? Or had a traumatic brain injury? Or a spinal cord injury? Do you realize how lucky you are to even be alive and alert right now? And I had the absolute displeasure of calling your mother at 5am to tell her where you were. That poor woman was hyperventilating.”

“You called my parents?” Jeonghan asked. 

“Of course I did,” Y/N hissed. “I called Seungcheol and Sora too.” 

“What?! Why would you call Sora? I don’t want to see her,” Jeonghan’s breathing catches in an unnatural way and it gives Y/N pause. 

“Why don’t you want to see your girlfriend of 5 years?” 

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore,” Jeonghan snapped but there’s something weak about it. “If she shows up, turn her away.”

“Okay…” Y/N drawls out. “We can come back to that. Now answer me, why the fuck were you riding without a helmet? Or speeding?”

“I was in a hurry,” Jeonghan mumbled. 

Y/N runs a hand down her face. “That’s such a piss poor excuse, Jeonghan. I’m so mad at you I can’t even look at you.” 

“Then don’t! You haven’t in four years,” Jeonghan snapped. The heart monitor was beeping faster.

“I haven’t? What about you? The phone works both ways,” Y/N bit. She was about to say something else when she notices beads of sweat beginning to drip down his forehead. He was starting to become pale. “Hold on, how are you feeling right now?” He scoffs angrily and Y/N is in front of him in seconds, reaching out to him. “Talk to me, Hannie.” 

He doesn’t. Or he can’t. His breathing is catching. Y/N moves quickly, pulling up open his gown to see that the gauze is soaking through with bright red. She presses the call button and starts yelling. 

This time, Dr. Hwang doesn’t let her help when they roll Jeonghan into the OR. She’s too busy standing outside of the elevator looking down at blood smeared hands to really fight him on it. Dr. Hwang had warned her early on that sometimes these kinds of moments would catch you off guard and it was best to hand it over to someone that could act quickly and with a clear mind. 

She washes her hands a few times, scrubbing underneath her nails to try to get rid of the red. Then she sits in the break room. A couple hours later, that’s where Dr. Hwang finds her. His smile is surprisingly kind for being such a hard ass. “How are you doing, kid?”

“Okay. How’s Jeonghan?” 

“I think he’ll be okay. We must have missed another spot in his lungs. It was microscopic really, so it was a slow bleeder. I did a few good once-overs while I was in there to make sure there weren’t others.” Y/N sighs in relief at his words. “You did a good job, kid. You noticed the signs and reacted quickly. Don’t take this too hard. I’ve been practicing for nearly 20 years and I missed that spot too.”

“I kind of wish you’d go back to being a hard ass. I’m not sure how to take your compliments,” Y/N chortles, but it’s weak. This is the man that has yelled in her face in the OR and snatched tools out of her hand when he’s not pleased with how she’s doing something. He’s called her all kinds of names and told her to not bother coming back tomorrow in the heat of the moment. The compliments warm her if only because they’re so rare from him.

“No, you deserve the compliment today. I’ll be a hard ass again tomorrow,” Dr. Hwang adopts a teasing tone. “Anyway, I came to find you because someone claiming to be your brother is here. Says he’s also here for Jeonghan… you should have told me you knew him.”

“Would it have mattered?” Y/N asks, though she already knows the answer. It makes you less objective if you know the patient personally. 

“You know it would,” Dr. Hwang admonished, finally sitting down next to her. “How do you know him?”

Y/N bit her lip. “We grew up together. We were best friends for most of our lives until we drifted a few years ago. I didn’t even recognize him until the paramedics said his name. It felt like it was too late to back out then because Joshua needed the help.”

Dr. Hwang hums. “I get it. But say something next time. I wouldn’t have asked you to assist on the first surgery if I’d known that. Now go see your brother and then go home. You’ve been here too long.”

Y/N finds Seungcheol sitting in the ICU waiting room. He pops up out of his chair as soon as he spots her. “What the hell happened?” 

Y/N feels so worn out by now so she sits down and he joins her again. “He was in a motorcycle accident. Speeding without a helmet.” 

Seungcheol curses under his breath. He looks afraid, much like Y/N has been feeling for nearly 24 hours. “How is he?” 

“The worst of his injuries was internal bleeding. We patched him up last night but it seems like we missed a spot because we had to roll him back into surgery earlier this afternoon. Sounds like he’ll be okay though.”

“We?” Seungcheol is wide eyed. “You helped with his surgeries?”

“The first one. Dr. Hwang made me sit out on the second one.”

“Jesus… Y/N, are you okay?” 

That’s not a question you get asked here often. You’re expected to be poised and put together the whole time. Responding calmly and rationally is an absolute job requirement and you deal with everything else off the clock. So she blinks away tears because she doesn’t want to react this way in front of any of her colleagues who might pass by. “Yeah. He’s okay, so I’m okay. What took you so long to get here? I called earlier this morning.”

Seungcheol huffs. “New secretary. She didn’t tell me until about an hour ago that you’d called and left a message. I’ve been in meetings all day with my phone off so I missed your calls and texts there. Who else have you called?”

Y/N sighed. “I called his mother, but his parents are in Japan so they haven’t been able to make it back yet. And I called Sora… but Jeonghan said he didn’t want to see her. Any idea what that’s about?”

Seungcheol doesn’t look surprised. “Oh yeah. They broke up last week. Very messy, especially since they lived together.” 

“Oh.”

Now Seungcheol looked surprised. “He didn’t tell you that when you spoke to him? Or has he been asleep most of the day?”

“No, he was alert most of the day, but… we argued, so he wasn’t very forthcoming with information.”

“Argued?” Seungcheol breathed, concern pinching his face. “That doesn’t happen often.” 

He’s right. It’s never happened. In 30 years of knowing each other, today was the first fight they’d ever had. There had been a time or two that things were awkward and they had to talk it out, but they’d never argued. The memory of it makes Y/N’s chest ache. 

“How long have you been here?” Seungcheol asked. 

“I don’t know, since midnight last night?” 

Seungcheol stood. “Are you free to go? I’ll drive you home and come back.” 

There’s something firm in his eyes and Y/N knows she can’t argue. If she does, Dr. Hwang or Joshua will order her an uber and send her home anyway. So she goes to the locker room and gathers her things. Seungcheol lets her enjoy the silence during the car ride and promises to call her if anything comes up with Jeonghan. 

She falls asleep almost as soon as her head hits the pillow but she dreams of seeing blood on her hands. It’s one of those dreams where you wake up and try to clear your mind, but when you go back to sleep you’re right where you left off again. Eventually, she gives up and watches TV.

Jeonghan is pissed. Has been since he woke up in the hospital bed again. He’s hooked up to a few more machines now and the nurses are still refusing to let him leave. They’re also refusing to give him anything to eat quite yet and he’s the hungriest he thinks he’s ever been. 

All of that would piss him off, but Seungcheol’s lecture starts as soon as he opens his eyes and he wants to go back to sleep immediately. But his morphine has worn off and the nurse hasn’t come back yet with more. 

“I cannot believe you would do something like that. That’s so dangerous, man. What were you thinking?”

Jeonghan’s eyes narrow at his friend. “I was thinking,” he snaps, “that I was in a hurry and I forgot my helmet.”

“That’s stupid, Han,” Seungcheol admonishes and he knows he’s right. But Jeonghan is stubborn and pissed to still be here. “You call someone else for a ride, or at the very least go the speed limit. You should have seen Y/N’s face. This wrecked her.”

Jeonghan scoffs. “Sure it did. Haven’t seen her or spoken to her in 4 years and the first thing she does is hang it over my head that she saved my life.”

“And maybe she should. Imagine if roles were reversed and she needed your help after she did something reckless,” Seungcheol seethes. Jeonghan doesn’t have much to say to that because thinking about roles being reversed makes his chest hurt more than it already does. Seungcheol sighs. “Okay, lecture over for now. How are you feeling?”

“Not great. But I’d like to get out of here ASAP. You know I hate hospitals.”

“Well it sounds like you better get comfy for a few more days. I heard they have to keep you for observation, especially after they found the second spot of internal bleeding,” Seungcheol smarts. 

“Wish I could eat something. I’m starving,” Jeonghan all but whined. 

“Yeah, but you won’t be able to keep anything down if you’re taking pain medication. Better to wait.” 

Jeonghan hated how logical that was because his stomach growled for the third time since he’d woken up. He stared back at the TV which is playing some kind of sitcom reruns. “So you spoke to Y/N?” He asks hesitantly. 

“Yeah, I drove her home earlier. She’d been here since midnight last night, approaching 24 hours,” Seungcheol says and Jeonghan’s chest twinges again. He knows she works some weird, long hours due to the nature of her job, but he hates that he was the cause of it this time. “Han, she said that you guys fought. Has that ever happened before?”

Jeonghan frowns. Now that she’s not here, he feels guilty for how he snapped at her. She was upset because she was concerned, and he threw the distance between them in her face. And then there was the panic on her face that he could sort of make out as his vision faded. “No, never. It sucked.”

“Did you say something you regret?” Seungcheol asked carefully. He knew they weren’t close anymore like they used to be but he wasn’t sure how to navigate any animosity between the two people closest to him. It was totally unheard of. 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan mumbles. “She said she was so mad she couldn’t look at me, and I told her not to because she hadn’t in 4 years anyway. She said that the phone worked both ways or something, but I don’t remember much after that.” 

“I don’t get you two,” Seungcheol said simply. Jeonghan gives him a confused look and Seungcheol continues. “You guys have been inseparable since we were babies. I always kind of felt like the third wheel with you guys because you were always so close. And then we graduate and Y/N goes to med school and neither of you can make time for each other anymore after being glued to each others’ side for 25 years? I don’t get it.”

“What’s there to get? The phone calls and texts slowed and then stopped completely. We both bailed on too many plans,” Jeonghan says sadly. He feels like he’s getting a bit of a headache. Joshua had said that might happen because of his concussion. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“Well, you guys are going to have to get over it soon.”

Jeonghan gave him a look. “Why? Because she saved my life, you think we’ll start using the phone again?”

Seungcheol looks a little bit like the Cheshire Cat. “No. Because we have a wedding to plan.”

Jeonghan gasped even though it hurt a ton. “She said yes?” 

Seungcheol laughs. “Yeah, a few days ago. Byeol wanted to do a formal announcement so I couldn’t say anything quite yet. But it goes without saying you’ll be the best man and Y/N will be the maid of honor. So you guys better figure this out.”

Jeonghan can’t think about spending that much time with Y/N because he has no idea how he feels about it right now. Instead he smiles. “I’m happy for you, Cheol. I told you she’d say yes.”

“You were right. I’m sorry I doubted you,” Seungcheol laughed again. After a beat of silence, Seungcheol pursed his lips awkwardly. “You and Y/N will work it out, won’t you? I’m not trying to guilt trip you, especially since you’re laying in a hospital bed right now. But it would mean a lot to both Byeol and I if you two were involved and could be civil.”

“Yeah, Cheol. Of course, we will.” Jeonghan hopes it’s not an empty promise. 

A couple days later, Y/N finds herself outside of room 205 again. She hesitates to knock. Dr. Hwang and Joshua both say that Jeonghan is stable but she feels guilty for their argument and how it might have added stress for him. She knows the internal bleeding would do what internal bleeding does, but she feels like she made it all worse by blowing up at him. But she couldn’t tell Dr. Hwang that when he asked her to cover some of his rounds. 

After a deep breath, she knocks and enters. A nurse is helping Jeonghan get back in bed after what looks like a sponge bath. “Dr. Choi, I was just about to go looking for someone. He has some symptoms that he’d like to discuss,” the nurse says before excusing herself.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Y/N asks professionally. After the emotional conversation a couple days ago, she’s determined to maintain composure. 

Jeonghan frowns. “I’ve had a headache for days now, nausea, and I’m disoriented a lot of the time even when I’m laying down.”

Y/N nods. “Could be the concussion or pain medication, or a little of both. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rank each symptom?”

“Headache is a 7, nausea is a 9, and disorientation is a 5.”

Y/N wants to laugh. He’s answering these questions like a pro, and she wonders if it’s because she’s demanded straight forward answers like this from him his whole life, particularly when he’s been sick. A lot of patients want to tell a story before they ever give a number. “What’s your pain level? We might try a different pain medication.”

He hums and she can tell he wants to shrug but he resists because it will probably hurt. “A 4?”

“That’s an improvement. Let’s try some NSAIDs today instead of morphine and see how you do. Can I take a look at a few things?” She asks, stepping up to the bedside. Jeonghan lets her shine a light in his eyes and put a stethoscope to his back to listen to his lungs. He doesn’t have a fever when she pushes his hair back and runs a thermometer across his forehead. She looks at the monitor by the bedside and is pleased with the heart rate and blood pressure. “Mind if I check the bandage?”

Jeonghan lays back and lets her pull his gown apart at the top. The bandage is pristine and white and she can’t help but sigh in relief. The stitches look okay too when she peels the bandage away. “Looks good.”

“Why do you look so nervous?” Jeonghan teased. The lightheartedness of it makes her lips turn up at the corners as she tapes the bandage down again and closes his gown. 

“You almost died on me again the other day, so forgive me if I’m relieved to not see any blood today.” She does her best to match his lighthearted tone, but she can still picture what he looked like that night he was rolled in on a gurney and what he looked like the other day when blood was soaking the bandage.

Jeonghan’s smile dips a little. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll try not to do it again.” Y/N has to laugh a bit at this. 

“You better try not to. Good news is, if your test results keep coming back the way they are right now, you should be able to go home in two or three days. We think you’re probably out of the woods as far as internal bleeding goes.”

“And when can I eat?” 

The question makes her laugh again. “I’ll talk to Joshua and Dr. Hwang and see if we can get you something. It’ll be bland but it’ll be better than nothing, I promise.”

“I don’t even care anymore if it’s bland. I’ve been starving for days.” 

They’re laughing when the door flies open and a woman runs in. “Jeonghan, I came as soon as I could! Are you okay?”

Jeonghan’s not laughing now. His eyes level with Y/N’s and they’re hard. “I thought I told you not to let her in.” Sora has pushed Y/N out of the way now, leaning over the edge of the bed, reaching for Jeonghan. Despite the pain he’s probably in, Jeonghan is leaning away from her, wincing as he pushes her back. “Stop it, Sora. Why are you here?”

Sora sputters. “Because you were in an accident. Someone called me.”

“Days ago. I’ve been here for days, Sora. Besides, I don’t want you here. Leave.” 

“Oh come on, Hannie,” Sora scoffs. “It was just a stupid fight. We can work it out like we always do.”

“No thanks. I want you out of my apartment by the time they release me, so you should go take care of that,” Jeonghan insists. Then he turns to Y/N. “Can you get her out of here? And make sure she can’t come back in?”

Sora’s just now realized who’s in the room with them and her face drops into a sneer immediately. “Oh, absolutely not. Call another doctor right now.”

Y/N isn’t surprised by the animosity. Sora has never really been her biggest fan, not even back in college when Y/N was her big in the sorority. Y/N tries to stay even and professional. “No can do. I’m part of his care team. Now he’s asked you to leave, so I’ll walk you out.” 

It takes a few glances between Y/N and Jeonghan before Sora seems to realize she’s not winning today. She scoffs and stomps out of the room and Y/N follows, thinking she kind of resembles a child throwing a temper tantrum. Y/N closes the door to Jeonghan’s room behind them and Sora wheels in her immediately. “How dare you? You try to ruin everything, don’t you?”

Y/N struggles to stay relaxed but her arms cross over her chest uncomfortably. “By ruining everything, do you mean stitching him back up and saving his life?” 

“I was so glad to be rid of you, but here you are worming your way in again,” Sora yells. “You haven’t changed at all since college. Still taking whoever you want, including my boyfriend.”

“Sora, I don’t know what’s happened between you two, but I know I had nothing to do with it because I haven’t spoken to him in years until a few days ago when he was brought in. Whatever happened between you two is none of my business. But you showing up when he doesn’t want you here is.” 

Y/N sees a security guard barreling down the hall after hearing Sora’s yelling. Fits of anger aren’t unusual here, but security responds quickly to it. He pulls Sora away by the waist just as she starts to lunge. She watches as the security guard gets Sora into the elevator, before going over to the phone at the nurses station. She’s dialing the front desk when Joshua approaches looking concerned. 

“Are you okay? What was that about?” 

“I’m fine, angry ex-girlfriend apparently,” Y/N mumbles. She ignores Joshua’s question of ‘ex?’ Because the receptionist downstairs has answered. “This is Dr. Choi. Please do not allow Lee Sora back in to see Yoon Jeonghan, room 205. He says she’s not welcome.” Once she gets confirmation, she hangs up. 

Joshua is still looking very concerned. “Since when are they exes? They’ve been together for years.”

Y/N shrugged. “I wish I could tell you. Anyway, I think we should switch Jeonghan to NSAIDs and let him eat something.” 

Slowly, Joshua nods. “Okay, I believe you. I’ll get it started, but we’re talking about this later. You’re having quite the week.”

Y/N looks at the clock as Joshua walks away. 10 more hours of her shift to go.

Y/N and Seungcheol sit at Jeonghan’s dining room table. This is her first time being here in his apartment. Seungcheol says he’s lived here for a few years now, but they didn’t exactly do a tour of the place today. Jeonghan came home from the hospital and it was a chore to get him settled in. Jeonghan’s parents had visited briefly the other day but Y/N hadn’t been surprised to find out that they didn’t stick around. He’d never been terribly close with them, particularly after he went to college. Once his parents saw that he was very much alive and heard that Y/N and Seungcheol were going to be around, they said they had some things to attend to back home. 

So Seungcheol had taken the day off to bring him home and get him settled and he’d asked for Y/N’s assistance since she had the day off as well. It felt weird in so many ways. The first was to have all three of them back together. In some ways, they went back to how they’d always been, but there was a tinge of awkwardness when Y/N didn’t know what was happening lately with Jeonghan or vice versa. Seungcheol had done is best to smooth it over.

And it felt really awkward to sit in Jeonghan’s sleek, expensive apartment that she’d never been to. She’d noticed that Sora had indeed moved out. There were big gaps throughout the apartment that implied she’d emptied everything that was hers, and maybe even some that weren’t too. The missing gaming console was the least of Jeonghan’s worries right now though.

Seungcheol and Y/N are eating together and catching up. Y/N might talk to her brother regularly, but they don’t get to see much of each other. She’s still surprised when Seungcheol drops a bomb. 

“What do you mean, you’re getting married?!” It comes out as more of a screech and Seungcheol shushes her. Jeonghan had gone right to bed when they got here and it seemed he needed the rest. 

“I mean, I proposed last week and Byeol said yes,” Seungcheol looked giddy. 

“Last week?!” Y/N whisper yells. “Where was my phone call? Do you have a picture of the ring?” He seemed to anticipate that question, because he’s shoving his phone across the table. Y/N gasps. “How did you pick out something like this? Your taste is abysmal sometimes but this is so cool.”

Seungcheol scoffs, snatching back his phone. “My taste is not abysmal. Besides, Jeonghan helped. He’s got an eye for that sort of thing apparently.” 

Y/N pouted. “Seriously, Cheol, why didn’t you tell me? I thought we agreed on no secrets.”

Seungcheol gives her a sympathetic look. “It’s not like that, I promise. Byeol just wanted to prepare a formal announcement. Given what’s been going on with you and Jeonghan lately, she let me tell you guys now.” 

“But I didn’t even know you’d been ring shopping,” Y/N whined. “I would have loved to help.”

Seungcheol hesitates for a beat. “Jeonghan had already offered and I didn’t know if you two would want to run into each other… not that it matters considering what I’m about to ask.” Y/N raises an eyebrow expectantly. “Naturally, we want you and Jeonghan to be maid of honor and best man. I know that might be a lot to ask, given how you guys have been lately.”

“Of course, I’d love to be maid of honor!” Y/N cries out, hand on her chest. 

“Okay, no tears please,” Seungcheol tries to soothe. “But are you sure? That means spending a lot of time with Jeonghan. I’m not sure where you guys stand right now…”

Y/N huffs. “I don’t know either, but I feel pretty confident that neither of us would jeopardize something as important as this. We both love you and Byeol too much to do that.”

“Good,” Seungcheol looks kind of smug. “That’s what Jeonghan said too.” 

Y/N suppresses her surprise. “Oh, you’ve already talked to him about it?”

“Yeah, at the hospital. Look, I love you both and I understand things can change over time, but I wish it could be like it was before. Maybe this is a good opportunity to fix things.” Seungcheol sounds like he’s kind of pleading and it makes Y/N frown. 

“I’m not even sure what’s broken. But, Cheol, you don’t have to worry about it. We’ll make sure to get along,” Y/N promises. 

“Okay. And you’re sure you don’t mind helping him out over the next few weeks?”

Y/N shrugged. “Of course not. I’m used to the weird hours anyway. Just come relieve me so I can get some sleep every now and then.” 

That was another development. Seungcheol wouldn’t be able to avoid work completely and while he could do quite a bit remotely, there were some things he couldn’t avoid the office for. Y/N had some vacation time to use, so they’d decided to split staying with Jeonghan until he was a little more independent. 

“If you insist. I should get back to Byeol, it’s late. But call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be here right away.”

With that, Seungcheol leaves. It shouldn’t be awkward to move around Jeonghan’s apartment but it is. She puts the leftovers in the fridge and throws away the trash. Then she decides to peek in on Jeonghan. She finds him awake in bed, watching TV. 

“Doing okay?” 

Jeonghan shrugs and winces. “Fine, I guess. At least I’m in my own bed now.” He eyes her carefully where she’s standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed over her stomach. She’s never looked so awkward around him. “You know, I’m sure I can’t talk you into leaving to go home and rest, but the least you could do is relax a little if you’re going to stay.”

“I’m not good at that, Hannie,” Y/N laughs. “Besides, I don’t want to impose. I’m sure you need your space. I’ll just go out to the living room.”

“When have I ever needed space from you?” Jeonghan chuckles, patting the other side of the bed. That’s the type of thing he’d say 4 years ago. “Come on.”

Y/N is silent as she slowly walks around the bed and sits down against the headboard. Finally, she says, “Kind of funny that you’d say that, considering that it’s been a while.”

She hopes he doesn’t take offense to it and is relieved when he just frowns, looking back at the TV. “Yeah, kind of weird how easily it came out, isn’t it?” 

Y/N watches the TV without really seeing it. “What happened to us?” 

Jeonghan hums. “I can’t really tell you. It’s confusing to me too… and then there was a point that even if I did want to reach out, I didn’t know how to. Or didn’t know if you’d want me to.”

Y/N glances at him. He’s being serious, a rarity in their years of friendship. “Of course, I’d want you to. But I didn’t know how to either, so I get it. I thought about you a lot.”

Jeonghan eyes widen with surprise. “Did you?”

“Yeah. I asked Cheol about you all the time,” Y/N answers simply. He doesn’t need to know that it drove Seungcheol crazy, sometimes to the point of just insisting she hang up the phone and dial Jeonghan herself. 

“Same,” he says, and her head snaps back to him. “I’m really proud of you, you know? I was even before this week, but it’s nice to see you doing something you always wanted to do. Plus, Dr. Hwang and Joshua were very complimentary.”

Y/N’s eyes water for reasons she can’t really identify right now. “Thanks, Hannie. That means a lot. For the record, I’m proud of you too. You’ve really climbed the corporate ladder, huh?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “You hate it, if only because of where I work.” He’s right, of course. Jeonghan got a job at her father’s company shortly after graduation and Jeonghan knows all about how she feels about her father. 

“I don’t hate it if you’re happy. There are just a lot of better people you can work for.” Y/N bites her lip. “Are you happy though? I mean, not just with work, but in general.”

He doesn’t answer for a long time. Finally he looks at her and she knows he’s about to be honest. Something about his eyes is completely unguarded. “Not really, no. I don’t think I have been for a while now.” Y/N doesn’t speak right away and Jeonghan continues. “The job is fine but it’s nothing I’m passionate about, and I’m not sure what I’d replace it with. I don’t see my family as often as I should, but they don’t ask me to visit either. And then Sora… well, that was a train wreck in slow motion.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Y/N offers openly. 

Jeonghan laughs and there’s a bit do ingenuity to it. “Wasn’t that what I was just doing?”

Y/N sighs in exasperation. “You know what I mean. We were best friends once… I don’t know what you’d consider us now, but I’d still listen to you all the same.” 

Jeonghan looks pensive. Instead of acknowledging the trauma dump that he just did, he bites his lip. “I’d still consider you my best friend, even if we haven’t been very good about it lately. Don’t tell Cheol he’s being replaced.” Y/N’s eyes are watering again despite his joke and Jeonghan shakes his head when she blinks the tears back. “Stop doing that. It’s okay to be upset.”

“I thought I was comforting you, not the other way around,” Y/N laughed but both her voice and her vision are getting watery. She kind of thinks maybe his eyes are too but she can’t be sure with how her vision clouds. She didn’t expect this conversation to flow the way it has. She expected him to turn her away and go back to being strangers as soon as he feels better. 

“Fine, you can comfort me. Lay down.” 

She follows his instructions, sliding down to lay her head on the pillow. He grabs her wrist with his uninjured hand, pulling her arm to lay flat. And then he’s laying into her side. They used to cuddle like this as kids, and even as teenagers. His head buries in her neck and she can feel his sigh. Mindlessly, her hand comes up to his hair, softly combing through it. Another sigh and then he’s snoring. Y/N wants to laugh because that was so fast and she’s stuck here now, but she’s the most comfortable she’s been in a long time and she finds herself dozing off too.

The next few days pass quietly at Jeonghan’s apartment. Y/N has made herself comfortable. Jeonghan is improving by the day, but today is a big one. He’s out of bed and on the couch, albeit laying down. And Y/N is preparing some soup for him to eat. He was relieved that it wasn’t anymore plain oatmeal or plain broth and finally something with a little flavor and substance to it. 

Y/N helps him to the dining table and sits the bowl of soup in front of him. He’d laughed at her when she joked that she’d spoon feed him, but he had ultimately refused insisting he’s not dying anymore. Y/N is sitting next to him, watching TV when he speaks up. “I’m sorry you have to take care of me.”

She gives him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?” She laughs. “I kind of do that for a living.”

“I know,” Jeonghan says. “That’s why I’m sorry. You aren’t getting to enjoy any of your days off.” 

Y/N frowns. “I don’t want to hear that, Hannie. You know I’d be here at a moment’s notice if you needed me.”

“I know,” he answers in a small voice. “I just feel like I don’t deserve it after the way I let things go a few years ago. And then how I yelled at you the other day at the hospital, despite the fact that you’re part of the reason I’m still here at all.”

Y/N turns to him and slides the empty bowl away. Then she’s gripping his good hand as she gives him a firm look. “Don’t you dare say that again. We let things go, not just you. You did nothing but take care of me and look out for me for nearly 25 years as I made a fool of myself. A few years of distance and a single argument don’t negate any of that. Think of this as me paying back an IOU.” 

“This is a lot to ask for an IOU,” Jeonghan tries to laugh but it gets caught in his throat. “I mean, I can’t do anything for myself really.”

“And I’ll help you until you don’t need it anymore and you kick me out,” Y/N insists. 

“Man, you’re still so stubborn. How has Joshua put up with you for this long?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in amusement. “He loves me, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Mhm. Very in love with you,” Jeonghan teases, but there’s a little tension settling in his shoulders. His fingers twitch around hers. 

Y/N scoffs. “Not you too. Nothing like that’s happening.” 

“Whatever you say, angel,” Jeonghan says easily and Y/N feels her face light up. She hasn’t heard that nickname in years and it warms her whole body. The response startles her once she realizes what it is and she pulls her hand away. 

“Are you still hungry? There’s plenty left.”

Jeonghan nods and watches Y/N go back to the kitchen with the bowl. His eyes linger a while before he pulls them away. Things were the same in so many ways but so different in others. 

Jeonghan wakes up sometime midday. He’s getting his days and nights mixed up and the only reason he’s getting out of bed slowly now is because he’s hungry again. It feels like he can’t eat enough. Y/N says that’s a good thing and that she would be more concerned if he didn’t have an appetite. He shuffles out to the living room to find Seungcheol on the couch with his laptop. While Y/N couldn’t exactly work from here, Seungcheol could and usually brought something with him to keep himself busy while Jeonghan slept. It kept him from using all of his leave time to help out. 

Sitting on the couch next to Seungcheol, he asks, “Where’s Y/N?” 

Seungcheol gave him a look that had him rolling his eyes. “Sorry to disappoint, but she had to go back to work today. She’ll be back later, much much later, so you’re stuck with me for a while.”

“Okay then. Like that’s a bad thing,” Jeonghan chuckled, leaning back and propping his feet up on the coffee tables. It feels nice to not have to be totally horizontal for a change. 

Seungcheol’s doing that secretive smile again. “Yeah, you like her company better. You always have. It’s okay to admit it.” Seungcheol stands. “And you’re lucky she cooked before she left. You know I can’t do much there.” 

Jeonghan is practically salivating when Seungcheol hands him bowl of simple stir fry. “Finally, some real food!” 

“Yeah, she figured you’d be excited about that,” Seungcheol laughs, plopping back down. “So, how’s being nursed back to health by your ex best friend?”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “Ex? I considered her my best friend the whole time. I just… wasn’t showing it very well.” 

This seems to entertain Seungcheol. “So you guys have talked? Are things back to normal yet?”

Jeonghan plays with his food because despite his hunger, this topic makes his stomach roll a bit. “Yes and no?” Seungcheol gives him a puzzled look. “In a lot of ways, yes. The banter, the jokes, the taking care of each other. But something seems different and I don’t know what it is. Things seem… emotional now, if we acknowledge the distance for too long.” 

Seungcheol hummed and shrugged. “I guess that makes sense. The situation that got you guys here isn’t exactly light either.” Jeonghan nods and tries to eat as silence falls over them. “Do you remember what we talked about our last semester of college?”

“You might need to be more specific,” Jeonghan chortled. “We’ve known each other a long time and talk about a lot of things.”

“After we fought - well, after I hit you, I guess.” 

Jeonghan can’t quite look him in the eyes. He’s referring to one of the only tough times in their friendship. A baseless rumor had gotten started on campus that Y/N and Jeonghan had been sleeping together. Seungcheol had been furious and it resulted in a bloody nose and the silent treatment for Jeonghan. When they finally made up, they had to have a nerve wrecking conversation. Cheol had been his friend for a long time but even that was too open for Jeonghan looking back on it. Jeonghan tries to be casual. “What about it?”

“How do you feel now?” 

Jeonghan glances to his friend, wondering if he really wants a genuine answer. “Are you going to hit me again?”

Seungcheol looks entertained by the question even though Jeonghan’s very serious. “No, you look like you can’t fight back much right now, so I’ll let it slide.”

Jeonghan swallows. “I feel the same, but it’s ten times more complicated than it was before.” Seungcheol nods because he gets it. He doesn’t need a rundown of why it’s complicated. 

“Have you guys talked about working together for the wedding?” Seungcheol asks and Jeonghan nods. “How’d that go?” 

“There won’t be any problems. We promise that.”

“Good. But for the record, I feel the same about that topic from senior year too. Do what you will with that.”

Jeonghan doesn’t know what to say so he takes a huge bite of stir fry and lets Seungcheol get back to work. 

Joshua looks entertained as he watches Y/N unpack and repack her suitcase with clean clothes that he washed today. “So how’s it going?” He sings and doesn’t stop smiling when she gives him a look. 

“Fine. Thanks for doing my laundry, it helps a lot,” Y/N said genuinely. She would have been another couple hours if she’d had to do it herself. 

Joshua shrugs from her bedroom door. “You know I don’t care to do it. But really how are things going?”

“He’s better. Moving around by himself and eating well. His injuries aren’t bothering him as much anymore,” Y/N lists off like they’re at work. 

“I know all of that, Y/N. I got Dr. Hwang’s report from his follow up today,” Joshua still looks entertained. “I meant, how’s taking care of your ex best friend going?” 

“The same as what it would be like to take care of my best friend, because that’s what he is.”

Joshua cries out, throwing himself on the bed dramatically. “I’m being replaced!”

Y/N has to laugh. “I kind of miss when you played things cooler than this. Besides, if anything, you replaced him first. He’s got at least 22 years of seniority on you,” she teased. 

“It’s fine, I get it,” he gave a dramatic, fake sniffle, before it cleared to something serious. “Really, though. Is it awkward? Is it good? I’m dying to know.”

Y/N struggles to find the right words to describe it. “It feels the same as it always did most of the time. But then there have been 4 years of distance and sometimes I feel like we’re strangers. We both did quite a bit of growing up during that time.”

“And?” Joshua presses. She hates how he knew there was more. 

“I don’t know, Joshua. It feels different. I missed him so much and now that he’s right there I don’t know how to act sometimes. I never worried about that before with him,” Y/N mumbles. 

When she looks up, Joshua is frowning. “You’re insecure about it.” She gives him a perplexed look and he waves it off. “I know because I’ve seen that look on your face before. You gave me that look all the time when you weren’t sure how I felt or how to act.”

Y/N frowns back at him. They don’t talk often outside of the occasional inside joke about how they met. They used to date, or ‘date’, Y/N guesses. Single quotes only because it was fake for Joshua the whole time. A mean trick to get back at her for her reckless dating habits. Looking back on it now, the Joshua that apologized and became her roommate and friend is a totally different Joshua than the one she met his first semester here. Y/N tries not to think about it because it still stings sometimes. They’ve all apologized dozens of times over the years and have been really great friends to her ever since so she should really stop feeling that little pang in her chest when it comes up.

“Of course, I’m insecure about it. I don’t understand why the distance happened in the first place and being around him reminds me that I could have been there the whole time.”

“Have you asked why it happened?” Joshua asked carefully. He remembered watching her hover over Jeonghan’s contact so many times before locking her phone entirely. He’d been curious about why she didn’t just call him, but she’d never given much of an answer. 

Y/N shrugs. “Neither of us can really explain why. But then it reached a point where we didn’t know how to reach out or if the other even wanted that.”

Joshua purses his lips and says, “Maybe you just need a heart to heart. Even if it’s hard to talk about, you might feel better about getting all of it on the table.” 

Y/N doubts it but she doesn’t argue with Joshua. But she’s laying on Jeonghan’s couch later that night and he’s curled into her again. He’s not asleep despite it being the middle of the night. Instead, he’s got his head on her chest while he watches TV and she plays with his hair. The whole thing feels intimate like their friendship always did, especially before she started med school and he started dating Sora. She can’t help but giggle. “What?” He mumbles. 

“I’m still not used to your hair being so short.” Jeonghan had always had long hair, often flat out refusing a haircut, and at some point during their time apart he’d chopped most of it off. 

“What, you don’t like it?” To anyone else, it would sound teasing, but Y/N can hear that it’s a serious question with just a hint of insecurity to it. 

“Oh no, I do. I think you look great with short hair, but I think maybe that’s why I almost didn’t recognize you that night in the ER. It’s still weird to see and feel,” Y/N insists. 

Jeonghan is laughing, now fully teasing. “You think I’m handsome. It’s okay, you can say it.”

“Don’t make me push you off. It’ll hurt,” Y/N threatens but it’s totally empty. Nevertheless, his grip tightens around her waist because he knows she would have done it any other time without hesitation, just as he would have done. 

They fall quiet - so long that when Y/N speaks again, she can tell she’s woken a dozing Jeonghan. “Hannie?” He grumbles. “Can I ask what happened with you and Sora?”

“Not much to say,” he says shortly. “It wasn’t going to work out.”

“But, it worked out for so long. Do you just wake up and decide one day that it won’t work anymore?”

She hopes Jeonghan knows it’s a genuine question. Y/N has never had anything long term, so everything about it perplexes her. It’s not six months, but rather five years. He sighs into her chest and she can feel the heat of it through her shirt. “Not just one day, no. It was kind of like watching it fall apart day by day. Each fight got harder and harder to recover from. What was overnight was the realization that I didn’t want to try to fix it anymore.”

“Do you love her? Or did you?” Y/N really wants Jeonghan to be honest. 

After a few long beats of silence, he says, “At some point, I’m sure I did. It wouldn’t have gone on as long as it did if there wasn’t some kind of emotion behind it. But now I don’t think I do, which is why it won’t work anymore, amongst other reasons.” 

“What are those other reasons?” She asks gently. 

“So nosy,” Jeonghan teases, but she knows he’s hoping she’ll let it go. But she stays silent, hand still running through his hair, so he purses his lips. “I didn’t see a future with her. She kept hinting that she wanted to get married. She even thought I was ring shopping for her when she caught Seungcheol and I looking for something for Byeol. When that ring never showed up in front of her, she confronted me about it. She gave me an ultimatum and I decided to walk away.” 

Y/N is frowning. “I thought you always wanted to get married.” She remembers the silly fake weddings as little kids when they’d yell in disgust at their parents’ joking suggestion to kiss the bride. Those little fake ceremonies had always been his idea and Y/N liked dressing up for them. 

“I did. I do. But it didn’t feel right so I left.”

“Then maybe you made the right decision,” Y/N says with some finality. She doesn’t need to be a fly on the wall for that argument to know that ‘it didn’t feel right’ is a good enough reason. God only knows that she’d used that reason over and over again in a past life of serial dating. She had a lot of trust in intuition, even if she couldn’t always put a name to what she was feeling. “She really seems to hate me, huh?”

Y/N is trying to make a joke, but Jeonghan’s chuckle is pretty dim. “Yeah, that was a sore spot.”

Her fingers freeze in his hair. “How do you mean?” 

Jeonghan hesitates. “I hate myself for this, but please don’t hate me too, okay?” Y/N nods and Jeonghan continues, fingers playing with the ends of her shirt. “Sora didn’t like me hanging out with you or talking to you. There were sometimes early on that I’d listen to her just to avoid a fight. One too many times of that contributed to us losing contact. And then when Sora and I fought about anything after you and I lost contact, she always made me feel guilty for thinking about reaching out to you for support.”

Y/N’s stomach drops. “I’m… sorry, Hannie. I didn’t realize I’d cause so much trouble in your relationship.”

“You’re too kind, Y/N. You never cared much for Sora. I knew that before we even started dating. You don’t owe an apology,” Jeonghan is back to teasing, trying to lighten the mood up, but Y/N is feeling crushed that she had anything at all to do with the end of Jeonghan and Sora’s relationship. 

“Maybe not, but I cared for you and you liked her. I still care for you and if Sora was what you wanted I would understand the distance, or at least the boundaries. That would be totally understandable. I want you to be happy above everything else.” 

Jeonghan is laughing now but it’s a bit humorless. “That’s just it, I’m not happy and I haven’t been for a while now. I lost my best friend and it wasn’t even for a relationship that made me happy 90% of the time.”

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here,” Y/N insists immediately. “Even if I wasn’t brave enough to pick up the phone, if you would have been I would have answered right away. Besides you deserve to be happy. If Sora wasn’t it, then it’s time to move on.”

Jeonghan hums like he’s deep in thought. “Are you happy, Y/N?” 

“What do you mean? Of course, I am. I’m just worn out with residency,” Y/N laughs. 

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan drawls, voice tinged with concern. “You used to have this sparkle about you. It’s one of the things I admired most about you back then. You had so much enthusiasm for everything, even stupid things like my math homework. How long have you been missing that?”

Y/N pouted, and though Jeonghan couldn’t see it, she’s sure he knows. The truth was that she’d been flirting with depression for a long time and the stress of med school and residency hadn’t helped. On her days off, she spent most of her time in bed. “I don’t know, Hannie. I haven’t felt that way in years. So much of that ‘sparkle’ as you call it was found in other people hoping they could make me happy.”

“And you don’t find any of that sparkle anymore?” Jeonghan’s finger tips are grazing the skin of her stomach where her shirt has ridden up. It leaves goosebumps in its wake.

“I don’t really look anymore. I don’t really make new friends now, and the few dates I’ve been on over the years were set up by some of my friends and didn’t really go anywhere. Maybe that’s a good thing. I was so naive about love, looking back on it. And now I’m too jaded.”

Jeonghan’s thumb rubs against her stomach and it’s both soothing and lights a fire. She hasn’t been with anyone in a really long time and the touch is so foreign to her. “Maybe you were a little naive sometimes, but there was always a lot of charm and honesty about it. I always thought it was sweet and you just needed the right person to give the same thing back to you.”

“I don’t know how to be like that now. I don’t even know what I’m looking for anymore.” 

Jeonghan hummed. “You need someone that will be sweet with you and do the romantic things. Someone who makes you laugh and that you can stop being so serious with. But also someone that lets you be emotional because you have a tendency to bottle it up until you explode. Someone who helps you forgive your own mistakes. Someone who remembers the little things.”

The answer is so fast that Y/N lets out a laugh of disbelief. “You’ve thought about this before?”

“You’ve been my best friend for forever, Y/N. Of course I thought about who was right for you, especially after I watched the wrong ones show up time and time again,” Jeonghan insists. 

Y/N lets out another laugh of disbelief. “Well, if you find Mr. Right for me, let me know.”

“Yeah, like you’d ever let me set you up. Come on, let’s go to bed. This couch is too cramped,” Jeonghan groans, hand on her waist pushing her now. It returns to her waist out of sheer habit again when they crawl into bed. 

It’s been six weeks since the accident and Jeonghan is what Y/N considers 75% healed. His ribs still ache most of the time and she says he’ll probably feel that for a while, but the cast has been taken off of his wrist as of yesterday, and he’s getting fewer headaches due to the concussion and whiplash. Visibly, the only reminder of the accident now is some road rash, lacerations, and bruising that haven’t quite faded yet. Most of that is covered by his slacks and dress shirt as he looks in the mirror. 

And he feels good because it’s the first time he’s been able to leave the house, save for a couple walks around the block when he became restless and Y/N couldn’t keep him in the house any longer, or his followup appointments with doctors. 

Seungcheol and Byeol pick him up at his apartment and Y/N is already in the back seat when he gets in the car. Tonight is the ‘official’ engagement celebration with the wedding party. Over the last six weeks, Seungcheol and Byeol have been picking people and reaching out to ask if they’d like to be in the wedding. It’s a small group, only three people on each side, because they said they wanted the wedding party to be both intimate and manageable. Jeonghan thinks they might have taken their time with this selection process so that he can heal up and attend everything, and he wants to thank them for it but doesn’t know how bring it up. 

Byeol’s choices for the wedding party don’t surprise Jeonghan. Y/N is the only possible choice for maid of honor because she and Byeol have been close since college and Byeol has no sisters or even cousins that she’s close with. Her two other bridesmaids are their friends from the sorority, Ara and… Sora. Jeonghan didn’t want to think much about that because he’d been enjoying not seeing her lately. 

Seungcheol’s choices did surprise him though. He’d already asked Jeonghan to be the best man (and Jeonghan would have been deeply offended if he hadn’t after 30 years of friendship), but his two groomsmen were none of their than Kim Mingyu and Jeon Wonwoo. Mingyu was a surprise because Seungcheol had hated him while they were on the basketball team together for a variety of reasons, but Mingyu was good friends with Y/N now and he and Seungcheol seem to be on good terms now and even have a lot in common. Wonwoo had gotten a job in the IT department at the company that both Jeonghan and Seungcheol worked for and he was a little awkward but easy to get along with. When Jeonghan asked, Seungcheol said that he’d bailed him out of a lot of technical issues over the years at work and they’d become friends. He’d also liked that Wonwoo had stuck up for Y/N in college when no one else did. That was really enough for Jeonghan because treating Y/N well was a non-negotiable for anyone in their lives. 

Jeonghan regrets that he let Sora break that rule for so long. It crosses his mind that if Seungcheol knew about how deeply Sora’s animosity towards Y/N ran, then Sora would be out of the wedding at the snap of a finger. 

Seungcheol and Byeol have picked an upscale Italian place for their dinner and rented out a private room. As Y/N and Jeonghan follow them inside, Jeonghan leaned down to her ear. “Under no circumstances will you let me sit next to Sora.” And after a beat he added, “and neither should you, actually. I don’t know that she’s not above poisoning our food.” 

Y/N gave him an entertained look. She’s dressed up tonight, something she says she doesn’t really do anymore given that she lives in scrubs. She’s curled her hair and put on make up, and is wearing a tight fitting dark green dress that plunges at the neckline along with heels. Jeonghan avoids looking anywhere but her face even when he tells her she looks nice, but it presents a challenge because ‘nice’ is putting it so lightly. 

“Deal. Let’s get through this dinner unscathed.” Jeonghan can’t help but giggle at her words and Seungcheol and Byeol look back in amusement. 

The giggles die down when they enter the private room though. Sora is already there with Ara and she does not look happy. Y/N and Jeonghan intentionally pick seats on the opposite end of the table. When Mingyu and Wonwoo arrive they greet Y/N with a hug and it diffuses some of the tension when they sit down. The waiter serves them some champagne and Seungcheol stands up. Jeonghan thinks he might tease him later for whatever speech he’s about to give, but Seungcheol looks too happy. 

“Thank you guys for making it tonight and for agreeing to be part of the wedding party. Byeol has promised to not be a bridezilla and I promise to keep my temper in check when things inevitably go wrong.” This earns a laugh from the table. “Anyway, we wanted to get everyone together to celebrate and get reacquainted before we start any serious planning. So please enjoy. Dinner and drinks are on us.”

“Dangerous words, Cheol. I’m about to drink my weight in wine,” Mingyu teases. 

“And I’m about to eat my weight in pasta,” Wonwoo tacks on for good measure. 

The vibe is good, besides Sora who has a sour look on her face the whole time. Jeonghan is pretty unconcerned about it. He bounces between conversation with Mingyu and Wonwoo across the table and Y/N next to him. When their food arrives, Jeonghan doesn’t really think twice about pushing his and Y/N’s plates together to split what each other has. Before their years apart, this was an old habit and Y/N smiles when he glances at her. He’s relieved by that because for a moment he was afraid he’d overstepped. In some ways, they weren’t like they used to be and they were still finding these new boundaries. 

She leans in to put her lips next to Jeonghan’s ear. “You’re making someone really unhappy.” Jeonghan glances to Sora, who is seething and it seems dangerous that she has a knife for her chicken parmigiana. He just shakes his head at Y/N, who looks a little anxious, and starts eating. He feels too light right now to let it get to him. 

Between dinner and dessert, Jeonghan excuses himself to run to the restroom. None other than Sora is waiting for him when he comes out and his light mood comes crashing down. “Y/N? Really?” She snaps. She’s wearing a blue dress that Jeonghan usually likes on her and she looks perfect, really - besides the disgusting sneer she’s making as she crosses her arms and taps her foot like a petulant child. 

“What about her?” Jeonghan breathes because this is already exhausting. 

“You moved on that quickly? I guess it’s a good thing I kept you guys apart while we were together. I know you two have a history of cheating together.”

Jeonghan’s jaw clenches. “Yeah, it’s not moving on to someone else. It’s fixing something that you broke over the course of years. And you know for a fact that we never cheated together, not even back then.” Sora scoffs and looks like she’s about to snap back at him, but he cuts her off. “Look, Sora. All that I’m interested in at this point is making sure that Seungcheol and Byeol have a happy and peaceful wedding. I need you to cooperate with me on that, regardless of whose here.” 

“But what about us?” Sora says in a bratty tone. He used to enjoy that - specifically, reminding her who was in charge in bed after she acted like that. It had happened constantly over the years because she was constantly bratty. Now it’s grating on his nerves and he wanted as much space as possible from her. A lifetime worth of space actually. 

“There is no us. You said marriage or nothing, so I chose nothing. And after an ultimatum like that, I’m not interested in finding somewhere in between with you again,” Jeonghan says impatiently. 

“But we were good together for a long time, Jeonghan! I don’t understand what’s so bad about marrying me,” she’s still whining and the pout she’s taken on won’t work now. Frankly, it had never worked because he particularly cared that she was upset. Most of the time he knew it would lead to a fight and he wanted to avoid it. 

“Do you define ‘good’ as keeping me from my best friend? That’s really strange, Sora,” Jeonghan bit. 

Sora looks taken aback. “It’s not strange when I don’t trust that slut of a ‘best friend’ as far as I can throw her.”

Jeonghan gave her a dead stare and his voice turned hard. “Yeah, Sora. Let me make something clear. You say one more thing like that about her and we’re going to have problems. I should have never let you talk like that about her and I won’t stand for it anymore. I’m going back to the table. Come back if you’d like, I don’t care.”

Thankfully, Mingyu is in the middle of an animated story when Jeonghan sits back down. His mood shift is only noticed by Y/N who frowns at him and he shakes his head. It doesn’t take much for Y/N to figure out what happened when Sora comes back to the table looking dejected. Y/N gives him a sympathetic smile, leaning over to whisper to him. “I ordered your dessert already.”

Jeonghan lightens up. “Thanks.” 

As he eats the dessert that Y/N ordered for him, which he loves, he feels eyes on him. He decides Sora will be a problem, but he’s not sure what to do about it. The last thing he wants to do is ruin this wedding. 

[make-friends-with-the-rats]

Color Symbolism in Newsies

Newsies (1992) is much beloved for it's use of color. From the pastels of the ensemble newsies to Jack's distinctive red bandana, the use of certain colors in the film do an excellent job of helping to tell the story. Exhibit A: the contrast between Jack's bandana and David's blue shirt which creates a visual representation of the contrast between the personalities of our two main characters.

Coupled with historical context and meanings, there are many connections between and insights into characters that can be gained by paying close attention to how Newsies uses color.

For the sake of brevity, I'll just be analyzing the colors in Newsies as they are used in costuming and ignoring set design or we could be here all night.

Red

In political history, red has often stood for revolution and rebellion. It's no wonder then that the leaders of Brooklyn and Manhattan both wear red. Red also indicates passion and bravery, which are key to the strike.

Besides Jack and Spot, Pulitzer wears red when Jack is brought to his study and attempts to bribe Jack to scab. Aka, Pulitzer is dressed in red at the height of exercising his power over Jack.

Center: Jack And The Beanstalk. Illustration for unidentified book of children's nursery literature, with Kronheim illustrations, c 1870

@sarahjacobs has an excellent post that talks about red symbolizing power in Newsies which you can read here.

Another interesting meaning for red comes from Jewish belief where the color red is linked to sin, but also to sacrifice and redemption. Jack scabbing to protect David and his friends after Pulitzer threatens them comes to mind.

You could consider Jack dawning his bandana again during "Once And For All" as symbolic of his redemption and reconciliation with the Jacobs and the newsies.

Red: Uncovering the Historical Significance of a Bold Color - Symbol Sage Political colour, Red - Wikipedia What colors symbolize Jewish culture?, Red

Pink

When most people think of pink, they often associate it with femininity. However, pink being a "girl" color is actually a modern idea which only gained significant popularity in the 1950s. Before this, pink was worn beginning in the 1700s by European aristocrats and became a color of success and class.

This meaning makes pink fitting for Miss Medda Larkson, the Swedish Meadowlark.

In the later half of the 19th century in particular, pink was also tied to youth, which is why we see Sarah and several newsboys alike in the color. As The Art of Dressing Well (1870) dictated, pink "is only fitted for the young. It is a charming color, and those to whom it is suited look very graceful in it."

Because it was also seen as a "paler shade of red", pink had masculine connotations that were also associated with red. Pink therefore occasionally shares the meanings of passion, aggression, and bravery with its parent color.

The first time Sarah wears pink is when she discovers Denton's article and becomes directly involved with and passionate about the strike.

Oscar Delancey, arguably the more aggressive Delancey, wears a pink undershirt. You also have Kid Blink in a pink shirt who is known for being very passionate and short tempered.

The shade of pink that Blink wears is the same shade as Sarah's shawl which she wears when she punches Morris Delancey in the face. Medda too isn't afraid to fight back and speak her mind at the rally. She and Sarah both exhibit bravery.

Refined, rebellious and not just for girls: A cultural history of pink | CNN Tickled pink: colors in the Victorian era - Recollections Blog The complicated gender history of pink | CNN

Blue

You've likely heard the phrase "true blue" before, this is because blue has a reputation stretching far back in history for representing loyalty and trust. Blue also often represents intelligence and tranquility. It's extremely fitting then that David Jacobs is always seen in blue, especially because he values honesty and prefers peaceful means of protest to violence whenever possible.

The color blue, specifically tekhelet or a shade of blue described in the Torah, holds significant weight in Judaism. It is sometimes referred to as the 'color of God’s Glory’ in Rabbinic literature and has been used in ancient and modern Jewish symbolism alike. This connects the color blue to the Jacobs family as a whole.

Even without the association to Judaism, the Jacobs family puts high value in education and truth. After all, it was Mr. Jacobs who taught his children not to lie and who insists on David and Les returning to school.

Left: King David with the Lyre, 18th century Sebastiano Conca (1680-1764)

Left: Tekhelet (תְּכֵלֶת) or "sky blue" tzitzit; Right: King David. Psalterium et horae ad usum Sanctae Capellae Parisiensis, 1360-1400

Because blue was historically both an expensive dye and pigment for painters, blue was worn by and used in art for only the most important subjects. Thus, blue became symbolic of nobility.

To the Renaissance artists, there was no subject more important than the Virgin Mary. While blue had been tied to female figures and goddesses previously across several cultures, Renaissance depictions of Mary led to blue becoming widely associated with humility, grace, and femininity in the Western world.

Left: Periwinkle flower, a symbol of grace and femininity and a Christian symbol of the Virgin Mary

Pastel shades of blue in particular became commonly feminine colors suitable for women and girls in the 18th and 19th centuries. Hence, it makes sense that Sarah would wear blue at the rally.

All You Need to Know About What the Color Blue Symbolizes | Slightly Blue What does blue mean in Judaism? | Slightly Blue The Secret History of the Color Blue — Google Arts & Culture The History of Blue as a Women’s Color

Purple

Because of its rarity in the natural world, and the labor historically needed to create purple dye, purple was highly prized and was considered a symbol of high status and honor.

Spot Conlon is the only member of the our main cast of newsies to wear the color purple, which visually symbolizes the newsboys' respect for him, his reputation, and his involvement in the strike.

The purple detailing on Medda's costume when we first meet and are introduced to her by Jack is also an indication of the respect other characters have for her.

Purple can also denote ambition and independence, characteristics that suit both Spot and Medda well seeing as Spot has "moved up in the world" and Medda owns her own theater.

Why is Purple Considered the Color of Royalty? | HISTORY Purple: Color Meaning, Associations, and Effects

Black and Grey

What about lack of color? In Newsies, we can easily tell our heroes from the villains through the use of color. Or can we?

The villains or "opposing forces" are all dressed in dark greys or black as opposed to the pastels and shades of brown that the newsies and their allies wear. Jack Kelly is an interesting exception, dressed head to toe in dark hues with the one color being the red of his bandana. Visually, Jack could fit into a crowd of newsboys, or of scabs and goons.

Black has long been associated, for obvious reasons, with darkness and secrecy. Similarly, grey is often seen as representing foreboding, moral ambiguity, and evasiveness.

The use of grey and black for Jack clues us into the fact that he is lying about his past and his family and also foreshadows his betrayal of the strike.

Which Colour represents evil?

[maxdibert]

These are the comments you received on the James defense post. I’d love to see your responses to them if you’re interested in answering.

what i don’t understand is how someone defending a 15yo james potter (thus apparently making them a classist which u think is tantamount to death lmao) is better than y’all defending snape? like. how is That not fascism considering mans was a literal DE who agreed w the ideals from a young age and also created torture curses that he used frequently enough to become his ‘signature spell’ and also became an adult who went on to bully literal children from his position of authority (and even becoming a kids boggart as well as actively harming other kids) whereas james was a kid who was a bully and went on to die at the age of 21. snape lived til his mid 30s and never stopped being an asshole. so. being a fascist defender of a racist bigot, how are you throwing stones at classists? also. if you’re talking ‘european cultural context’ pls remember this is not post-industrial britain and is a society of its own separate from the trad class system of the muggle world. money might play a role but so does blood politics and james was considered a ‘blood traitor’ which would’ve been a stroke against him during voldy’ speak war era. snape, on the other end, actively supported and endorsed the rhetoric. that’s just one layer to it. u can’t just juxtapose any theory to any context without considering the difference in that society from the one marx envisioned. that’s just lazy work.

You really talk a lot about class and aristocracy and brag about your experience and education and how much of an intellectual you are, but you still don’t understand that classes in the wizarding world are not the same as classes in our world. You use big words, brag about your experience, and clearly assert your moral and intellectual superiority over others, yet you don’t understand the meaning of “eat the rich”, the concept of class, the accumulation of capital, or even what capital and the means of production are. Or, most likely, you understand, but you just manipulate with these words to defend Snape thinking that no one can see it.(If you want to debate more substantially, I can send you my meta about classes from a Marxist perspective in the wizarding world. ( though you’ll probably say I don’t have enough neurones to write anything coherent😄)

Regarding the first person, I’ve already talked about this many times, and they’re mixing up concepts. First of all, I don’t understand what adult Severus has to do with James, because the relationship between James and Severus is limited to their teenage years. It makes no sense to bring adult Severus into the debate because we’re not talking about that Severus. We’re talking about the teenager in a teenage context with a teenage bully.

And, even so, if we were to talk about the adult, we could discuss how the violence inflicted by James Potter probably influenced his character as he grew up, precisely because it left him with a host of unresolved traumas. These include an inability to manage his emotions or deal with stressful situations as a functional adult, due to a significant developmental delay directly tied to his experiences at school and the importance he still places on them as an adult.

In any case, that’s beside the point. On the other hand, these people seem to be willfully obtuse. Rowling didn’t create a world out of nowhere; her world is the British Wizarding World, and throughout the series, she uses analogies for real-world political and social issues (like discrimination against Muggle-borns, which is supposed to be an analogy for racism but comes off as ridiculous, or Voldemort being a sort of Hitler figure but not even reaching the level of a nationalist terrorist party leader, or the werewolves being a disrespectful metaphor for HIV victims). So, it’s based on the real society she lived in, which is specifically post-Thatcherite Britain. For these people to claim that Severus was some kind of fascist racist and then have the audacity to deny that Rowling’s world is connected to the real world—when it’s closely based on real-world social dynamics and constantly shaped by her bourgeois, reactionary perspective—is as contradictory as it is ridiculous and even shameful.

And I’m sorry, but class is something that permeates everything. Class is the trunk of the social structure from which other branches of intersecting social issues emerge. Homophobia is also tied to class; feminism is tied to class; racism is tied to class. All the problems and axes of discrimination in our society have a class-based foundation because the social pillars on which it is built were based on class castes that date back to pre-Medieval societies. The Roman Empire was a class society; ancient Egypt was a class society. Our cultural references are strictly linked to class. Ignoring this and claiming that Rowling somehow created a completely isolated bubble uninfluenced by the politics of a world closely modeled after ours, and with issues she constantly alludes to in her work, is basically not understanding a thing, having the reading comprehension of a monkey on amphetamines, or simply refusing to acknowledge the obvious to avoid re-examining personal prejudices or deconstructing their neoliberal perspective.

As for the second message... Yes, I mean, I would tell them that not only am I an intellectual, but I also studied Law + Political Science, have two master's degrees, and have worked in unions. So, it’s not a matter of what I think; it’s that I literally have qualifications in this. I’m a criminal lawyer and political scientist. It’s not like I’m drawing my conclusions from a handful of Tumblr posts I came across.

They’re telling me I don’t understand the concept of means of production or capital accumulation to defend a character who literally lived off the wealth of his ancestors and used that economic and social capital (because there are various types of capital) to maintain a position of power over others during his school years. A character who, precisely because of his accumulated capital, managed to sit at the top of the social hierarchy without lifting a finger and who had nothing to lose by acting like a tyrant because he had an economic and familial safety net (another type of capital) to fall back on. All this while the character he attacked was on the opposite side: working-class, with no resources or financial support, and zero accumulated or generated capital.

I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, and it seems quite incoherent to start posturing as a Marxist intellectual while defending abuses of power by the magical equivalent of an aristocrat against someone from the working class. And I’m sorry, but the social structure of the wizarding world functions exactly like the social structure of any society that still maintains class-based castes rooted in aristocracy. Pure-bloods are basically nobles, aristocrats, members of families with great lineages—they’re essentially lords. It doesn’t take much insight to find the parallel, nor does it require much knowledge of British culture; just a glance at how modern European monarchies work makes it evident.

But anyway, what do you want me to say? They can bring whatever meta they want, but I’m not going to change my opinion. My issue with these people is basically this: one knows what their strengths are, and I’m not pretending to be an intellectual or acting like I know it all. It’s just that I literally have experience in activism, paid work, and university-level studies (master’s level) on these topics.

I’m not going to share my opinions about physics, theories on how spells or magic might work, or whether certain things are plausible from a logical point of view because I don’t have the faintest idea about those things. I don’t know math, I don’t know physics or chemistry, and I don’t know engineering. I’m an absolute illiterate when it comes to equations. But I’m not when it comes to political theory. I’ve earned honors in political theory.

So, as you can understand, these people are hardly going to change the mind of someone who not only has expertise but also has a damn university degree. And frankly, I don’t think degrees are everything, but aside from that, I’ve spent 10 years actively participating in Marxist union activism, leading the university union, and I also worked for a year in the field of labor law after finishing my degree. So, I don’t know—they can say whatever they want, but I don’t care.

[kittenfangirl20]

During the days leading up to the wedding Adam was working on setting up Stolas’s trial. This would be his first act as Queen to help him get everything back. He also hoped to talk to Octavia so she would at least talk to her dad at the wedding. He would be upset if any of his children didn’t want to talk to him, in fact he would be heartbroken. But it seemed like Octavia’s mother and uncle refused to have her leave the manor without a guard close by. It seemed the best option was to have Octavia come to the wedding. It felt weird to wait outside a high school for Octavia to come out. He saw other Hellborn come out as well as Octavia with a couple guards. Once the guards were finding a table for her, Adam found a time to talk to her.

Adam: I know this is odd, but since you are the technical head of your family now, you are invited to the royal wedding.

Octavia: Wouldn’t you prefer my uncle or my mother to go.

Adam: I honestly prefer it being you since one day you will be ruling over the legions of Hell assigned to your family.

Adam held out the invitation which she quickly took.

Octavia: Thank you.

Octavia seemed a rather excited that she was being acknowledged by the royalty of Hell.

Adam: I should go, but please come to the wedding.

Meanwhile, Michael was watching Cain and Abel. He knew that if he could capture the sons of Adam he could use them against their father, he just had to find the right time to strike.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Abel Son of Adam and Lucifer

Back in the days of Eden when Lilith was convincing Eve to eat the Forbidden Fruit, Lucifer was making love to Adam. Even though Lilith lied and said that Adam was trying to control her, they were both happy to see each other. Adam told Lucifer that Eve was pregnant with his child and how he wanted to be pregnant with Lucifer’s child. Lucifer agreed to what Adam wanted and made love to him. He decided that he would stay in Eden with Adam and Lilith could go or stay if she desired. But Lilith was caught and told the angels that Lucifer convinced Eve to eat the Forbidden Fruit. Lucifer was banished with Lilith to Hell and Adam left Eden when they banished Eve from it saying that he would help her create humanity. Eve gave birth to Cain and Adam gave birth to Abel. Thousands of years later it was believed that Adam was killed in Hell, but he became a fallen angel. Lucifer was shocked to get a phone call from Rosie.

Lucifer: Hello.

Rosie: You may want to come to Cannibal Town right now.

Lucifer: Why?

Rosie: You know how many of my cannibals cleaned the battlefield? Well a certain angel was taken from the battlefield and woke up before his body was butchered.

Lucifer: Adam is alive?

Rosie: Yes and he is a fallen angel now.

Lucifer hung up his phone and sprouted his wings to fly to Cannibal Town. Susan was complaining outside of Rosie’s home saying that she wanted to eat Adam. Lucifer walked past her and walked it. Rosie was sitting with Adam who now had black and gold horns as well as greyish skin, shimmery black wings, fangs instead of teeth, black sclera in his eyes, and lamb like ears. He was picking at the cookies Rosie provided looking absolutely miserable. But when he looked up at Lucifer he looked hopeful.

Adam: I want to see our son.

Lucifer: Abel? Adam I..... I don't know if I can swing that.

Adam stood up: Why not?

Lucifer: The Extermination just ended, Heaven is more than a little pissed off at the moment they aren't going to do me a favor.

Adam looked down sadly, he needed to let their son know that he was alive and okay. Relatively speaking of course, he was stabbed in the back. He sniffed, Abel was probably worried about him when all the angels came back and he didn't.

Lucifer: Thank you Rosie for keeping Susan away from him.

Rosie: No problem your majesty, she's a stubborn old bitch but I can take her.

Lucifer put his arm around Adams waist: Come on Addie, let's go.

Adam nodded sadly going with Lucifer, he opened a portal to the Morningstar Manor where Adam collapsed on the couch and cried.

Lucifer handed him a cell phone: You can call him.

Adam sat up and took the phone: Yeah! I'll call him, he'll answer the phone for me.

[elizabeth-holland24]

The Beast Within-Chapter 11

The wind whipped through Mausi’s hair as her horse galloped at full speed through the forest. The rhythmic pounding of hooves against the earth matched the erratic thrum of her heart. Each mile she rode seemed to peel back the layers of her memory, pieces falling into place like fragments of a long-lost puzzle.

Her mind drifted back to the boy she had met years ago, his mischievous smile and golden hair shining in the summer sun. He was different from the other children in the village—curious, brave, and full of dreams that stretched beyond their small world. They had spent hours together, exploring the woods, chasing fireflies, and talking about everything and nothing. She had told him about her favourite books, and he had promised to show her the world beyond their village one day. That boy had been Jake.

Mausi’s breath caught as the realization struck her like a lightning bolt. The beast she had come to know, with his towering frame and haunting eyes, was the same boy she had befriended all those years ago. She remembered the sorrow in his gaze when they reunited in the castle, the way he looked at her as if she were the only light in his dark world. How had she not seen it sooner? The boy she had adored had been hiding beneath the curse all along.

Her grip on the reins tightened as more memories flooded back. She remembered the way Jake had fought to protect her, even when it meant pushing her away. He had been rough and gruff at times, but beneath it all, he had always been kind. The way he had tended to her injuries after the wolves attacked, the nights they spent talking by the fire, and the way his voice softened when he spoke her name—all of it pointed to a love he couldn’t voice.

Mausi’s heart ached as she recalled their arguments, their shared laughter, and the quiet moments when words were unnecessary. She thought of the enchanted objects and how they had subtly nudged her toward understanding Jake. They had seen what she couldn’t at first—that beneath the beastly exterior was a man who cared deeply, who loved her despite believing he was unworthy of her affection.

The memories kept coming, unbidden and relentless. She saw the moments they danced together, the way his hand trembled as it held hers, and the way her heart fluttered in response. She remembered the look in his eyes when he let her go—a mix of heartbreak and hope. He had set her free because he loved her enough to prioritize her happiness over his own.

Tears blurred her vision as she urged her horse faster, her destination looming closer with every stride. She couldn’t deny the truth any longer. She had fallen for him. Not just the boy she once knew, but the man he had become. The beast who had shown her what it meant to love selflessly, to fight for someone even when it seemed impossible. He had taught her the meaning of courage and sacrifice.

Mausi wiped at her tears, her resolve hardening. She wouldn’t let Gaston or the mob destroy the man she loved. Jake deserved a chance to break free of the curse, to live the life he’d been denied. And she would be the one to stand by his side, no matter what it took.

“Hold on, Jake,” she whispered, her voice barely audible over the wind. “I’m coming.”

The rain lashed against the castle as lightning illuminated the shadowed spires. Jake, in his beastly form, stood alone in the highest tower, his breaths deep and laboured as he gazed out into the storm. He could hear the battle raging below but didn’t move to intervene. His heart weighed heavier than the rain that pounded the stone walls.

Then, a voice cut through the thunder, cold and cruel.

“Hello, Beast.”

Jake turned sharply, his claws instinctively unsheathing. Gaston stepped into the room, his gun raised, a wicked grin on his face.

“I’m Gaston,” he said with a mock bow, his tone dripping with malice. “Mausi sent me. Are you in love with her? Do you honestly think she would want you?”

Jake growled, low and menacing. “You don’t know anything about her.”

“Oh, I know enough,” Gaston sneered, stepping closer, his finger brushing the trigger. “She deserves someone strong, someone human. Not... this.”

Before Jake could respond, Gaston fired. The shot echoed through the room, and pain ripped through Jake’s shoulder. With a guttural roar, he stumbled back, losing his footing on the slippery stone floor.

Clutching his wounded arm, Jake tried to steady himself, but the force of the impact sent him crashing through the weakened railing. He clawed at the edge of the tower, barely managing to hold on as his legs dangled over the abyss.

Gaston smirked, confident in his victory. He reached for another bullet, intending to finish the job. But when he grasped for his ammunition, his hand came up empty.

“What?” he muttered, his eyes darting to his belt.

“Looking for these?”

Gaston spun around to see Mausi standing in the doorway, her face pale but determined. In her hands were his bullets, bent and useless.

“Mausi!” Gaston exclaimed in disbelief. “You... you’re here?”

“Where’s Jake?” she demanded, her voice steady despite the fear in her eyes.

Gaston’s expression hardened. “When we return to the village, you will marry me, and that beast’s head will hang on our wall!”

“Never!” Mausi shouted, throwing the ruined bullets to the ground.

Enraged, Gaston lunged for his gun, but Mausi was faster. She grabbed it first, and the two struggled for control. The castle shuddered as the storm intensified, sending debris tumbling around them.

“Mausi, get out of here!” Jake shouted from the ledge, his claws slipping against the rain-slicked stone.

Mausi’s heart clenched at the sound of his voice. “Jake, hold on!” she cried, trying to wrestle the gun away from Gaston.

With a sudden jerk, Gaston shoved Mausi aside and charged toward Jake, determined to finish him off. Jake managed to pull himself up just enough to face his attacker, but his strength was fading fast.

“Mausi, you came back,” Jake rasped, his voice thick with pain and disbelief.

“I tried to stop them!” she called out, desperation lacing her words.

“Stay there! I’m coming!” Jake began to climb, his claws scraping against the stone as he tried to close the distance between them. But Gaston intercepted him, his fists slamming into Jake’s wounded side.

The two grappled precariously on the narrow ledge, their movements threatening to send them both over the edge. Gaston raised the gun, but Mausi, fueled by sheer determination, leaped forward and grabbed the barrel.

“Leave him alone!” she screamed.

The castle groaned under the strain of the battle. With a final, violent tremor, the section of the ledge beneath Gaston gave way. He staggered, his balance lost, and plummeted into the dark chasm below.

Mausi gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as Gaston disappeared into the shadows, his scream swallowed by the storm.

But there was no time to dwell on his fate. Jake’s claws finally lost their grip, and he fell backward, crashing through the crumbling floor into the room below—the rose room.

Mausi sprinted down the stairs, her heart pounding as she followed the path of destruction. When she reached the rose room, she found Jake sprawled on the ground, his massive form broken and still. The enchanted rose glowed faintly on its pedestal, a single petal fluttering down as she knelt beside him.

“Jake!” she cried, her hands trembling as she touched his face. His eyes flickered open, their golden hue dim but still warm.

“Mausi,” he murmured, a faint smile on his lips. “You’re safe.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head. “Don’t talk like this is the end. You can’t leave me. I won’t let you.”

Jake’s hand, clawed and bloodied, gently brushed her cheek. “You’ve already saved me, Mausi. More than you know.”

“I remember everything,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “Who you were before the curse, who you’ve always been. Jake, I... I love you.”

Jake’s eyes widened, a single tear slipping down his face. “You... you love me?”

“Yes,” Mausi sobbed, cradling his face in her hands. “Please, Jake, don’t leave me. Not now. Not ever.”

A/N: Please don't kill me. What a journey it has been. The next chapters will clear everyone of some doubts you might have. Honestly, I kinda have been following the movie trajectory with adding a few of my touches. Also, I'm sorry the fighting scenes aren't that great or don't make much sense, I don't know how to write them. I love you all, thank you so much for your support. There is still like 3 more chapters left, I think, so It's not completely over yet. There are still some secrets that need to come to light, like Pete said. Remember to like, comment or weblog and tell me your thoughts. Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. Don't forget to comment, like and reblog, so I know if you are enjoying it.  Love you guys and thanks for reading  <3