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#Losing my mind when she texts me
Haha. I have a funny idea. What if. Instead of you pretending to be in love with me. We actually fell in love. And like. Kissed or whatever. Sofunny. Right? Lol.
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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spookykestrel · 7 months
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I get the whole not responding to messages things I get I understand it’s hard it’s not personal but also … you have to respond to messages to keep your friendships alive?? If you are long distance from a friend if you don’t see your friend often and you don’t initiate in any other way if you don’t call if you don’t send any sort of message then the least you can do is send a text or just respond to one of the ones you left on read ?? If you never put effort in then you lose the people you love and it’s hard and it’s scary and distractions and mental health all are factors but sometimes you have to sit down and say check in on your friends !
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that's right bitches it's time for the daily joe post, i love how much joe is not supposed to be part of this. he's not supposed to have an influence on the plot. the gods themselves don't even consider him to be a factor based on the knowledge they have. and yet !!! he ends up vitally important to the best possible path they all can take. he is not supposed to be this major of an influence, he's literally just some cunt that works here, and then. and then we get to chapter 12 and we get to see another version of him that really proves just how much him being an unknown variable can fuck with things. this other version of him had so much influence over where the story could go, he destroyed the chance at the prophecy ever becoming true and had to be sent to Another Universe just to keep that world safe. THIS GUY. SHOULD NOT HAVE THIS MUCH POWER HERE. but he does, because he was not accounted for. he does because nobody thought he was part of this in a way that mattered. HE didn't even think he was part of this in a way that mattered. he just works here
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eddiexmunsn · 8 months
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i literally just want my cat back that's all i want i'll never ask for anything ever again just bring him back to me
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hazeism · 1 year
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Book Demerzel was male in the past too! She is Gender.
Ooh, okay, so I guess my understanding of things is kind of impaired by the fact that I'm still on Edge (I went in in-universe chrono, though--I mean I did the Empire books all jumbled because I read Pebble ages and ages ago and then the other two came in as holds from my library in the wrong order hahah--so I started the Foundation novels with Prelude) and have yet to read and Earth which I think he returns in? So I might be missing a huge amount of context regarding his presentation/interpretation/etc. etc.
Most of my ideas about Daneel's complication regarding gender mostly conform to my understanding of him (any pronouns apply 🥰🥰 but I'm used to he so I'll just go with that for now) as a fundamentally resolved, instrumental thing--though cornered of course by minimalism and limited knowledge--who has the luxury (?) of more readily identifying the contextual applications of gender, combined then with millenia of insight into the fluid/arbitrary drifts of social and cultural mores, plus his own schematics of prioritization and internalization... I think he is on like extradimensional levels of gender, internally, and I hope there is canon basis for him taking upon himself some gendered aspects in a functional/teleological manner (as he takes on other aspects of personhood! even Demerzel himself is an adopted aspect!) because I think that even if that goes uninterrogated (as so many things in these novels do GRRR!) it has even more necessary implications for his internal cognitions of gender!!!!
That said I DO also think there's something to be said about the amount of gendered socialization he gets in his most formative years (especially from his Earthman who knows his sociological formulas but does not have a very sophisticated or unblemished understanding of gender politicssdbfkdj)--which is undercut by his state of subjection and perpetual qualification and Othering from people who do know his true nature, and then the implication of Deceit (not what I believe him to be doing--at least in the context of gender/lack thereof but definitely how it would be interpreted by towards people who don't know what he is which like. very transgender existence tbh being considered inherently deceitful) but this all just makes it more texturally complex and interesting and makes him even better at being soooo gender. Love that thing!!!!
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sisterdivinium · 1 year
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That Sylvia didn't know from the beginning of shooting the show about Mother Superion having been a halo bearer before is absolutely wild based on her performance. Talk about intuition...
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deadrlngers · 1 year
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work one month as a service worker and see how they don't even want to pay you for your work
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i read a hannigram fic last night where op decided it was an okay thing to mention vatsyayana and my brain chemistry is fucked now.
#raj shitposting#afghdaklkjfdakjfgaskjgf#so for context i read the kamasutra as a joke earlier last month and istg i was not expecting what i read.#bro- listen i thought it'd be about heterosexual sex only but it's really not specified IN SO MANY PLACES IT MAKES ME WANNA YELL.#there's this entire section in the text about scents. now idk how many of y'all know seema anand but you should def check out her tedtalk.#because she kinda boils it down to the very basics with the best examples for all of those who do not want their brain chemistry altered.#and that was what got me into her stuff and i read the arts of seduction a couple years back but i wasn't unhinged back then-#-so i forgot all about it until like a month or so back when i came across a video of hers on yt and damn those floodgates BROKE man.#which lead to me finally putting my foot down and reading that shit and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-#so back to where we were. there's this entire section about scents alright? and we all know where this is going so bear with me please.#so this section talks about how different scents stimulate excitement and how different parts of the body should be scented.#like seema anand does NOT warn you about how fucking DETAILED this shit is in the original text. AT ALL.#it's got i think somewhere around 600 different scents and the optimum intensity of the scents for like IDK TURNING INTO A MONSTER.#so like when i read the fic my brain thought HEY THESE ARE TWO UNHEALTHY OBSESSIONS OF THIS FUCKING SICKO THAT SHOULD ALIGN RIGHT? BOOM.#and i imagined post fall will experimenting with scents for fun and shit because why not who's to stop him at this point in his life?#and then my brain flashed me a very vivid image of hannibal BURYING his face into will's waist to smell the perfume he put there-#and then my brain short circuited because that is too powerful an image for a mortal brain to comprehend.#i don't think anyone will understand what the fuck it is that i'm on about but y'all should watch that ted talk.#and get ahold of the nearest fic writer you know and force them to write a fic on this BECAUSE THIS IS THE PROMPT THEY'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.#this is actual psychosexual bullshit and istg i've had SO MANY vivid dreams ABOUT SCENTS ALONE it's making me lose my fucking mind.#GAAAAAAAAAAAAH#hannigram#hannibal
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wabblebees · 11 months
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#met the hottest butch ive ever seen in my whole entire life tonight#nigh-on everyone in the room had fucking heart eyes SO BIG for her the WHOLE TIME. and then#when she said she ''really couldnt do a relationship right now''#you could hear hearts break in that room fulla gayass bitches#ABSOLUTELY including mine in that count lmao. but also im delusional so even tho after tomorrow i know ill probably never see her again#i am sitting here in bed -- HOURS later -- SIGHING WISTFULLY like a moronnnnn#lmfao. goddamnit.#hopeless romantic central; emphasis on hopeless#she was so fucking funny oh my god. and the goddamn butchivalry was off the CHARTS#i couldnt decide whether to swoon or let my own butch tendencies make me start competing lmfaooo#she was a friend of a friend visiting from the next town over; and this mutual friend had been hyping up her arrival so much id started to#think it was bc she was trying to set us up or something. which legit started to make me kinda nervous before she got here#and now im going fucking insane because oh my GOD#OH MY GODDDDD.#literally just. losing my goddamn mind. i dont know this girl at ALL & ik i dont do casual eeeeeven a little bit & shes NOT looking for That#but... fuck. goddamn. gotDAMN she was so cool#i doubt she was looking at me much If At All lmao; we were all just chilling... im just. objectively Not Good at Being Chill#anyway im writing this here hours later so i dont text our mutual friend at 5am about how rad meeting her was like some kinda creep lmfao#bee speaks#my outfit was cute but i doubt she was lookin; esp since i came straight to the party after a performance so i was in... weird shape lmao#altho im VERY glad we got to meet Before shes supposed to come see the show tomorrow lmao.#like. now at the very least her first impression of me isnt me-as-kreon; asshole misogynistic tyrant dictator-in-chief that he is hdkdgk
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lavenderedhoney · 2 years
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I was really excited the other night bc I was able to, for the first time ever, get off thinking about me knocking her up. My brain is very much the no fun police and has never let me play make-believe like that before - usually I can't get past the fact that neither of us has the right parts for it (especially me) which is really sad. 😔 But I tricked myself for a few minutes and it was a great fucking time!
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seilon · 1 year
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frantically rehearsing what to say if im gonna call to follow-up on this interview like. hello general manager, i had an interview with you last tuesday and if you don’t give me an update soon im going to start crying. regards
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onepiexe · 2 years
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on god. why.
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imagine the peace I would feel if I didn’t base my entire self-worth off of what other people said to me about my life
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timeisacephalopod · 12 hours
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Apparently my sister, the one I no longer speak to because calling the cops on me and trying to have me charged for sending 4 texts because she didn't like the contents while never calling the cops on the boyfriend that beat her kid is disgusting, asked how I was to someone I haven't even met because they know someone I do then immediately followed that up with "we don't talk." So 1- don't tell everyone and their dog my fucking business it's not their problem and 2, if we don't talk then that should tell you how much I want you to know about how I'm doing- zilch!
#winters ramblings#i dont get her. if you gave a damn about me you wouldnt have lost your mind defending a MAN over your WHOLE FAMILY#despite that man being a disgusting waste of space you werent even with 2 months later!!#and if youre willing to throw your whole family out over some idiot guy eventually YOU didnt even choose#then why woukd i DEBASE myself with your bullshit youve never once apologized for!#because frankly id like ab apology for spending TWELVE YEARS braggibg about how trying to kill me as a newborn was hilarious#and id ALSO like an apology for LOSING SOME OF MY DEAD FATHERS ASHES and that doesnt even GET to the shit#she pulled at Christmas last year. hell thats not even all the apologies she owes to ME let alone her oldest daughter#who i said in thise 4 texts she tried to have me CHARGED about she held to a WAY higher standard of behaviour than any GROWN MAN she fucks#that kid is owed a BILLION apologies and itll still never be enough!! and then she can apologize again to me for being pissed off#that i was right wgen i read her fir fucking fifth and dragged her ass through the mud and sge was only mad BECAUSE i was right#i dint say mean shit for the sake of it like her. if i say mean shit its mean because its true abd i say it because you deserve to hear it#dish cruetly out dint get pissed off wgen it comes back exceot its actually TRUE shit when i say it not nasty made up shit#said just to be hurtful and cruel. which i ALSO told her was unacceptable and that 0 people need to put up with that#shes a griwn adukt who can either take responsibility for herself or fuck off abd since she's NEVER ONCE done option 1#theb option 2 it is. i waited basically all 30 years of my fucking life for her to grow up and she never will so good riddance#dont ask people about me like YOU didnt destroy our relationship over and over and over again
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shoutout to my younger sister for having a patience that i could only dream of
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