#Literally just went buck fucking wild

[leviathiane]

#2 for the fandom end of year ask?

2. Favorite fic of the year

DOES THIS MEAN MINE OR SOMEONE ELSES AHHH

I'll just answer both bc I'm that bitch:

mine was said unposted undertale fic sdajkbhjvgdhbask if posted, I would said probably... either deeply whelved, or dead man's handle. Leaning more towards Dead man's handle, it unexpectedly gripped me.

IN TERMS OF OTHER PEOPLES FICS BOY DO I GOT A LIST

no shame. none at all. fuck it. yall deserve to have good reads and the authors deserve to not have their works hidden away in shame and embarrassment. I also will NOT be choosing one fic, bc i am not that bitch. yall getting SEVERAL.

DSMP

Swallow the Tide(pods) - merfic and kidfic. dsmp has a lot of those. Also very feral, and non-sexual size difference. There is eating of humans. There is also a mafia au element. It is mostly intense brooding instinct.

Evermore - A royal hanahaki au. It ends badly. That is honestly enough, in my book. It is long, it is painful, and there is no recourse. I grieved over this one.

The Secret of Being Colorful - Another wingfic, with a ton of brooding instinct. Forced adoption and consent issues in a very, very non-sexual way. Think of it as the "feral kitten grabbed hissing from the rainy alley dumpster" type fic.

POKEMON (specifically P:LA)

Alpha - Ingo's learning curve to being trapped in the past, largely his duties with Sneasler and how to keep the Highlands safe.

We Will Always Have Each Other - Takes place directly after Avalugg, as Hisui becomes distorted entirely. Ingo was taken prisoner by Kamado for being a risk as Akari was, only for him to vanish back into the future.

Next Stop, the Place Once Called Home - Emmet doesn't believe Ingo is dead, but he had to move on. Until a strange sneasel is spotted deep in the subways abandoned tunnels.

UNDERTALE (cmon. u got past the dsmp, hang on just a bit longer)

Ain't This the Life - The entire. fucking. series. every single part bangs. fucks, even. Severely. I can't even explain it. its a clusterfuck and its wild and its like 400k collectively and i reread it maybe 7 times in two months. I sent so many snippets of it to my boggers that they now recognize the style of the author despite having never read this fic themselves or even been interested in it. The writing is absurdly good. The dialogue is charged, funny, and tense. The sex is the least vanilla shit ever somehow even if it was missionary. There is so goddamn much going on. The stakes are so high and also so small sometimes. If I ever met this author I think I would burst into tears. Yes its sanscest. It's also one of the most intricate pieces of borderline straight up PWP ive ever fucking read. I can't even be ashamed of it. It's that good.

TMA

Take a Sad Song and Make it Better - This is in fact an ABO fic series, and also a poly!archivist team fic, focusing on subvocals role in relationships and society/culture. It’s also an excuse for me to read about everyone wanting Martin. 

Underdog - Another ABo fic series, this time involving a hysterical pregnancy and more brooding instinct social catastrophe ❤️ i have a type

[minswriting]

Hihi min:) i wanted to ask for a hitch request where r just gives him the best head of his life? like homegirl is going all out and it can take place literally WHEREVER, his office, their apartment, anything!! I just need to see (or read) that man bucking his hips into your mouth because you’re taking him like a champ. Thank you!!!

nsfw | mdni

when aaron had come home looking unbelievably stressed and immediately going to his home office, you knew that the case had been a wild one. he tries not to bring his cases home but he just had so much paperwork to do that he had to come home. after about an hour or two, you had gone into his office to say hi which led to you on your knees with his cock in your mouth.

you moved your mouth up and down his length as aaron groaned above you, his fingers entangled in your hair. “oh fuck, baby,” he moaned, eyes closed as he threw his head back.

you simply moaned around his cock, hallowing your cheeks to add to aaron’s pleasure. you knew this was what he needed. aaron needed to have the soul sucked out of his cock, to release all of the stress from the day. and you were more than happy to oblige. you moved your head up and down a bit faster, using your right hand to jerk off whatever you couldn’t fit into your mouth.

these movements alone made aaron gasp, bucking his hips into your mouth. “you’re taking me so good,” he groaned, opening his eyes to look down at you. you looked up at him, allowing your eyes to meet one another’s. with each time you went up his length, you swirled your tongue around his tip, making aaron shutter from pleasure.

and with small moans and groans leaving his mouth, it did not take long for aaron to shoot his load down your throat, moaning your name in a mantra as he came. you swallowed it all, taking in each and every drop.

because you knew that he would absolutely do the same to you.

[natsaffection]

just read your wandanat fic and it made me think of some thought of the that has had me on a spiral lately.

so imagine you have direct orders from both of them to not touch yourself but one day you are so needy you can’t help but touch a little and end up being caught red-handed by natasha.

of course she takes matters on her own hands and decides to punish you until wanda comes home. when she finally does, after a long wait, she makes a turn in nat’s ministrations, and decides you been edged long enough and you should pass to another form of torture. so now you are all over the edge and tied up to a chair (maybe with tendrils of wanda’s magic) forced to watch wanda fucking herself with nat’s cock. even if you are not having any sort of stimulation in that position, you can’t help but cum thanks to the scene in front of you and capting their attention again in the process.

that has been on my mind for literally weeks and if you could extend it into an actual thing, i’d love to read it!

Helpless Desire. | WandaNat

Dom!Natasha x Fem!Reader x Dom! Wanda

Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! G!P Natasha, Heavy edging, Restraints and held to a chair by magic, Begging, beeing forced to watch people have sex, multiple orgasm

Word Count: 1,2k

A/N: I wrote this during a family dinner and almost went wild in my chair..🧎🏻‍♀️

You had clear instructions from Natasha and Wanda. Do not touch yourself. But the temptation gnawed at you today, a constant pain you tried to control. Today, the need was overwhelming. Alone in the apartment, your fingers hesitantly slid down your body, searching for relief. Just as you began to give in, the front door opened, and there stood Natasha, catching you in the act. “What do you think you’re doing?” Natasha’s voice was a dangerous purr.

Your breath hitched. “F-Fuck! I-I’m sorry! I…I couldn’t-” you stammered, your cheeks flushing with a mix of guilt and arousal. Natasha’s eyes narrowed, a smile playing on her lips. “Oh, you’ll regret this. Hands off, now.”

You pulled your hands back, slightly trembling. Natasha’s presence was commanding, her disappointment palpable. She approached you, her movements predatory, and grabbed your wrists. With quick, decisive movements, she bound your wrists together with the soft restraints they often used in their sessions, leaving you vulnerable and exposed.

“You couldn’t wait, could you?” Natasha’s voice was a mix of amusement and frustration. “I thought we taught you better.” You bit your lip, your eyes pleading. “I’m sorry, Natasha, please, I was just…n-needy…”

“Needy? Oh, we’ll see about that,” Natasha replied ominously. Natasha’s hands were everywhere, teasing, pinching, and spanking, driving you to the brink of madness but never letting you fully go over the edge. Every touch was a reminder of your disobedience, every caress a tantalizing promise of what you couldn’t have. Your body writhed, your hips bucking against the restraints, desperately seeking more contact, more friction.

“Please, I need to- cum..!” you pleaded, your voice breaking with desperation, quickly cut off. “Silence,” Natasha snapped, her eyes narrowing. “You speak only when spoken to.”

Hours seemed to pass, the pleasure and frustration growing unbearable. Your body was a live wire, every nerve ending burning. Just as you thought you couldn’t take anymore, the front door opened again, and Wanda entered. Her eyes darkened as she took in the scene before her.

“What’s going on here?” Wanda asked, her voice deceptively calm, though it was clear she knew exactly what had happened. “She couldn’t control herself.“ Natasha explained, not stopping her touches on your trembling body.

Wanda’s lips curled into a wicked smile. “Well, I think she’s been teased long enough, don’t you? Let’s change things up.”

With a flick of her wrist, strands of Wanda’s magic wrapped around you, lifting you from the bed and setting you into a chair. The magical restraints held you in place, forcing you to watch as Wanda and Natasha turned to each other.

“Sit right there and don’t take your eyes off us,” Wanda commanded, her voice full of authority. Your breath came in short gasps as Wanda’s magic undressed her effortlessly, and Natasha’s clothes soon followed. The sight of their naked bodies, so intimately familiar yet always arousing, left your mouth dry.

Wanda positioned herself over Natasha and took her lover’s shaft with a guttural moan. The sight was mesmerizing, and your body ached with a need that was almost painful.

“See what you could have if you just followed orders?” Wanda said, her eyes on you. “Watch closely, ahh~” Natasha’s hands gripped Wanda’s hips, guiding her movements as she thrust upward. The room filled with the sounds of their pleasure, each moan and gasp driving you closer to the edge. You writhed against the restraints, desperate for relief.

“Do you like what you see, Detka?” Natasha teased, her voice thick with desire. “This is what you miss when you’re disobedient.”

“God, please! Natasha, Wanda… I-” you begged, your eyes fixed on the scene before you. The sight of Wanda riding Natasha, the sounds of their pleasure, was too much. “It hurts, please let me join, please!”

Your pussy throbbed, desperate for attention, and you felt like you would explode from the sheer intensity of your arousal. “You brought this on yourself, Y/n,” Natasha said, panting, “Now you have to watch.”

You tried to look away, your face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and frustration, but Wanda’s magic forced your head back, making you watch every second. The magic intensified your helplessness.

“N-No!!” you cried out, tears now flowing freely. “Fuck! I’ll do anything!!” Wanda moved faster on Natasha, her lips curling into a cruel smile. “You’ll watch and endure, my dear.”

As Natasha and Wanda’s rhythm grew rougher and faster, you could feel the pressure building inside you. The sounds of their pleasure filled the room, each moan and gasp sending waves of lust through your body.

Wanda’s gaze fixed on you again, a wicked smile playing on her lips. “Look at you, so needy,” she teased. “You think you deserve to be freed after being disobedient-“

But suddenly, your body convulsed as you came, a powerful climax that left you gasping for air. For a moment, you didn’t even realize you had cum, your mind overwhelmed by the sight and sounds before you. The sudden orgasm caught the attention of Natasha and Wanda, their expressions shifting from surprise to amusement.

“Did you just come? Without permission, no less?” Natasha’s voice was sharp, cutting through your haze of pleasure. You looked confused at your mess. “I… I didn’t mean to… I don’t even know-”

“Now you’ve really done it,” Wanda said, her voice dripping with satisfaction. Natasha and Wanda exchanged a look, and Wanda’s magic tightened around you, holding you firm. “Let’s see how you handle round two,” Natasha said, her voice cold and commanding.

Natasha stepped aside, allowing Wanda to take center stage. With a flick of her wrist, Wanda summoned more magical threads, wrapping around your body, teasing and tormenting your sensitive spots.

“W-What…,” you whimpered, your body already exhausted from the intense orgasm. “No, please no…”

The magical threads danced over your skin, teasing your nipples, brushing your clit, sending waves of sensation through your already oversensitive body with no escape. “Please, please-” you begged, your voice breaking. “I’ll be good, I promise..!“

“You should have thought of that earlier,” Natasha said, her voice a deep growl. The magical threads continued their relentless torment, driving you to the brink once more. You writhed and struggled, your body a mix of pain and pleasure, your mind a fog of desperation. The room was filled with the sounds of your cries and the moans of Natasha and Wanda as they pleasured themselves.

Finally, the magic brought you to another peak, your body convulsing with the intensity. You screamed, your vision blurring as you were driven over the edge once more.

As the waves of pleasure subsided, you slumped in the chair, your body trembling and exhausted. Natasha and Wanda approached you, their expressions a mix of satisfaction and approval.

“Now you might think twice before being disobedient,” Natasha said, her voice soft but firm. Wanda gently stroked your hair, a rare moment of tenderness. “Rest now. You’ve earned it.”

[bountydroid]

Take a Ride, Cowgirl

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader SMUT

Request: riding the ghoul and he puts his hat on you and smacks your ass?? 

TW: p in v, spanking, irradiated creampie, Dom!Cooper, a little rough, all porn no plot

Notes: I literally wrote this while hiding in the basement from a tornado in case you ever wonder where my priorities lie.

You really aren't sure how you ended up here. Sure, you and Cooper always had an unspoken attraction to each other, but neither of you ever acted on it, instead opting for playful banter. However, here you are, grinding into the lap of the most feared man in the Wastelands. 

"Cooper," You moaned into his mouth as your hips kept their rhythm. The ghoul was laid out underneath you, comfortable on your squeaking bedframe. His hands were firm against your hips, almost like he was afraid you'd stop.

"Sugar," He groaned before his lips started to trail down your neck, nipping along the way. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

You let out a breathy laugh because he's wrong, you do know how long he's wanted this. You've noticed his eyes on you from the first moment you met, always scanning you up and down hungrily. You've wanted him just as long.

Your laugh seemed to anger him as he bit down hard on your neck, earning him a mix of a squeal and a moan, before spanking your ass harshly. "Somethin' funny?" 

"I need you." You moan as he keeps his hand on your backside, massaging you gently.

"You think you deserve it?" He asked as he squeezed your ass hard.

"Please," You pleaded as your hips sped up in his lap causing him to let out a string of curses.

“Take off your clothes, sweetheart.” Cooper said, a hint of begging in his voice. You were quick to comply, ripping off your clothes like they burned to the touch. Before long you were naked atop of him, breathing heavily with a wild look in your eye.

“Fuck, Cooper.” You groaned as you brought your face back down to his, your forehead knocking against his hat still snug on top of his head. Kissing him felt like a drug, the deeper the kiss the more intoxicated you felt. The kiss quickly became feral and needy as you pressed your body flat against him. “Need you.” You manage to mumble out into his mouth again. 

“Why don’t you take a ride, cowgirl.” Cooper said pulling away from my face while giving you a mischievous grin. You let out a small huff of disapproval at the lack of contact, but still obeyed, 

hands quickly fumbling with his leather belt. Before long you had his cock exposed and you couldn’t help but salivate at the sight.

“I can’t wait any longer.” You begged as you positioned yourself above his still-clothed body. He moaned needily underneath you before giving your ass another harsh smack.

“Then don’t.” He groaned as he tried to buck up into you, the head of his cock smacking against your needy clit causing you to let out a strangled moan before you lowered yourself onto him. You went slow, savoring the feeling of his leathery skin inside of you. It was unlike anything you have ever felt before, and you needed more. Once you bottomed out you stopped to catch your breath. You felt him snug inside of you, almost like he was molded to fit you perfectly as the tip of him pressed heavily against your cervix. 

“Perfect.” You mumbled out, already drunk on the feeling of him inside of you. “You are perfect.” 

He let out a scoff as his hands roamed up your body, pinching your nipples gently.  “Needed me that bad, sugar?” He asked as he twisted and pulled at your nipples. Lost in the pleasure you could only nod in response. You screwed your eyes shut as you felt yourself clench around him, earning you a soft groan. “I told you to ride me.” He fake scolded you as he placed his hat on your head. “So, ride.” He commanded.   

You did as you were told, lifting your hips up from his slowly, savoring the feeling as you pulled him out of you completely before smashing back down on top of him, quickly finding the perfect rhythm. 

“Shit.” You cried out as he bumped against your cervix again and again. As your climax neared your pace began to falter, but Cooper was having none of that. Another hard smack rang out in the air as you cried out in both pain and pleasure. No doubt your ass would be bruised in the morning. The thought of his handprint left on you in black and blue caused you to clench hard around him as you picked up your pace again. 

“Gettin’ close, sweetheart. Don’t you stop.” Cooper ordered as he bucked up into you, a groan leaving his mouth. Eager to please, you kept your pace despite your thighs shaking on either side of him, begging for mercy, begging for you to slow down but you were both so close. You couldn’t stop now.

“Please, please Cooper.” You begged, your mind completely blank from the pleasure. Your pleas didn’t go unanswered as he grabbed your hips and pounded up into you, finally letting you go limp against him as you continued to beg into his chest. As your bodies collided, the hat fell off your head. You tried to grab it but you couldn’t reach it. Cooper noticed what happened and have your ass another harsh smack, causing you to tumble over the edge as your vision went white. You screamed out in pleasure as you came hard around him. 

“So fuckin’ careless with my shit.” He mumbled into your hair, the feeling of you tight around him making it impossible for him to be mad at you. As pleasure turned to overstimulation you started to writhe against him. “Nuh, uh. You ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He tutted while he continued to piston into you, his fingers leaving bruises on your hips. When he climaxed, he let out a long, gruff moan. He was pushing you as far down onto his lap as you could go causing you to whimper into his chest. 

As you came down from your high, soreness started to set in. Cooper seemed to anticipate this as he rubbed soft circles into your hips. 

“So, what do you think, Coop?” You asked, slowly pushing yourself up to look at him. “Am I a good cowgirl?” He let out a surprised laugh at your question before pulling you down back into a deep kiss. 

“I don’t know, sugar.” He jested. “I think you need some more practice.”

Tag list: @v3lv3tf0x

[cosyvelvetorchid]

for a writing prompt,….Buck and Tommy get caught in the firetruck ( buck 1.0 style).

We love a bit of Buck 1.0. Enjoy! 🩶

*****

RATED: E

It was almost 3am. Bucks shift had finished 45 minutes ago and he was more than excited to be going home. Home meaning Tommy’s place. He was always excited to be seeing Tommy after shift but he was particularly on edge to see him tonight.

Literally.

All day Tommy had been teasing him with filthy messages telling him what he was to do with Buck after shift. Buck had spent the majority of the day riled up with half a hard on. One accidental brush to his dick from anyone or any thing and he would have exploded like an illegal firework.

But, because shit always happens when it’s the least convenient, his jeep wouldn’t start. Aside from Chimey who was working a double to cover sickness from a member of the B shift, everybody had already left so nobody could take him home. And being a Saturday night, it would be a wait for an uber.

Instead, he reluctantly called Tommy who, of course, immediately jumped into his car to come pick Buck up.

He walked into the station and Buck damn near came in his pants like a teenager at the sight. He was wearing the exact same outfit he’d worn on their first date—top 3 buttons undone on his shirt too— that he knew drove Buck wild.

“Hey.” His voice practically sang in the low gorgeous tone.

“God you’re so fucking hot.” Buck told him, trying desperately not to jump him in the middle of the station.

Tommy laughed. “I thought you’d like the outfit” he smirked.

“Understatement of the millennium.” Buck told him.

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah I-“ An idea crossed Bucks mind. It was probably stupid, definitely reckless but so absolutely fucking hot. “Uh, did I ever tell you about how I got fired when I was a probie?”

“Yeah, you stole an engine to have sex.” He answered correctly. Buck raised an eyebrow at him. “What’s your poi- Evan. We are not stealing a fire truck to have sex.”

“Oh of course not.” He said stepping close to Tommy. “I just think it’s highly convenient there’s an empty engine in front of us and-“ he looked around the semi darkened station “-B shift are all catching up on sleep..” he reached up and opened the door. “And someone told me today that they were going to suck my dick so hard I’d see stars..”

“Evan, we can’t..”

“Well, I’m going to to get in the engine and take off my pants. What you do is up to you.” He stepped up into the truck and closed the door behind him.

Tommy stood for a second contemplating Evan’s suggestion. He couldn’t pretend it didn’t turn him on—he was flushed and half hard already. He looked around to make sure nobody was around and reached up to open the door. As he stepped up and saw inside his throat immediately went dry and his mouth filled with saliva simultaneously.

Evan was sat in the center of the back seat, naked from the waist down, legs wide apart, slowly stroking himself.

This kid was gonna kill him. Or get them both fired.

He shut the door behind him and shot forward grabbing Evan by the throat and crashing his lips into his. Buck whined at the feel of Tommys lips on his, and then at Tommys tongue taking over his mouth. His hand grabbed Evan’s cock and he continued at the rhythm Evan was going at.

“Fuck that’s.. ah.. good..”

Tommy moved his lips along Evan’s jaw, under his ear and down his throat. Nipping and licking as he travelled.

He hated to admit it but the thought of them getting caught was making his own cock swell uncomfortably in his own pants. Slowly his mouth travelled down Evan’s torso and groin. He licked the crease in the inside of Evan’s leg; his cheek lightly grazing Evan’s cock, who groaned at the touch.

“Please.. Tommy.. “ Tommy looked up, making eye contact with Evan as his tongue slid agonisingly slowly across to the base. Keeping eye contact his licked slowly up the underside of Evan’s cock, sucking in the head as he got to the top.

“Fuck!” Evan breathed out. Tommy still had plans for when they got home, so he wasn’t going to draw this moment out too long.

Without warning he took Evan whole in one go.

“Jesusfuckingchrist!” Evan called out, not being able to enunciate his words. “Holy.. ah!”

Tommy moved quickly; lips and mouth sliding up and down along the velvety skin. Evan’s cock was jabbing the back of Tommys throat and his hands grabbed Tommys hair, holding on for leverage as his hips bucked in rhythm, fucking Tommys mouth.

He was so fucking close to exploding down Tommys throat. He loved it when Tommy took his time teasing and playing and edging him into a bumbling mess. But something Tommy surprised him with an instant 0-60mph experience that drove him wild.

“God.. ah.. I’m so fuck.. fucking.. cl..close.. ah!”

He was right there . Right on the cliff edge, about to cascade over into a pool of absolute fucking heaven when the engine door suddenly opened.

“AAAHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Chimneys voice cried out. Buck and Tommy immediately separated; Buck clamouring to put his pants back on. He jumped out of the engine, not even bothering to put his shoes back on.

“Chim I’m so so-“

“No no no no!” He called back holding his arms up. “Don’t want to hear anything from you. Why? Buck. Why?! We have to work in that truck?! How many times have you done that?! Do you clean it afterwards?! Actually I don’t want to know!” He turned to walk away.

“Wait wait wait!” Buck shouted, running ahead and standing in front of him.

“It was the first time, I swear. And I-I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to, it-it just happened and-“

“You know how lucky you are that it was me that caught you and not cap? Or any of the B shift?” Chimney asked him. Buck couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’m going to let this one go and pretend it didn’t happen—mostly for the sake of the nightmares I’m inevitably going to have now, and the fact that your sister would be mad at me if I let you lose your job. So-“

“I swear it won’t hap-“

“Stop talking. So.. I’m going to walk away and the two of you are going to go home. But if it happens again I’m definitely going to report it to Cap. Understood?”

“Yes.” Buck replied immediately before Chim walked away. Just as he got most of the way up the stairs he turned back towards Buck and Tommy. “Oh and Buck! You better clean in there be for you leave. Maybe use bleach.” He shivvered.

“I think that just put a dampener on our evening.” Tommy said.

“You wash your mouth out Thomas Kinard! You are going to take me home, and we’re going to finish what we started.” He walked quickly out of the station towards Tommys car.

“Yes, Sir.” Tommy replied to himself before following.

[bomberqueen17]

sketchy grocery store shit: a very middle-aged rant

Man so. I went to college in Rochester and so I did my first I'm An Adult Shopping For My Own Groceries shopping in a Wegmans. I got used to the way the store works, how things were laid out. And of course, i got a Shopper's Club card.

I still have it somewhere, use it occasionally, but I had to get another one when I misplaced it because they asked what phone number it was tied to and like, man, it was a Rochester number with a 716 area code, that's how long ago it was. (It's 585 there now.)

I got conditioned to try the Wegmans brand generic for whatever brand name thing I was buying, because it was often the same, and was cheaper. (Though, RIP to the old Wegmans box mac n cheese, they enshittified that in 1999 once we were all good and hooked and we all mourned and switched to Annie's and never looked back. Maybe it's better now but I don't rely on that stuff the way I used to.) I got conditioned to always swipe the card because sure they were collecting data on you but in a $70 trip I'd save five bucks easy, it wasn't nothing! And I also learned to look for their Family Packs, which were larger containers of the same item for less per unit-- if it was something not that perishable, or something you could get through, it was worth spending a little more now to stretch it later!

Anyway. I went to Wegmans yesterday, I live in Buffalo now and we have them here too, and we have a rotation of grocery stores we patronize but when I do the shopping, I'm still the most used to Wegmans, I know where stuff is, and I knew some of the stuff I wanted, they'd be the ones to have. (The organic co-op doesn't carry Doritos and sometimes in the doldrums of winter a bitch needs some of that poison, y'know?)

I'd noticed before that the Shoppers Club isn't a savings thing anymore. I didn't have my own card for one visit and the cashier went to great lengths to get me a swipe from a manager, and at the end I'd spent $200 and saved.... fifty cents.

This time around I'd taken advantage of a buy one get one deal to get a second box of something I didn't really need a second box of, only to discover it was buy one get a dollar off the second, so I saved a whole dollar and actually spent three I hadn't needed to. Well, whatever. It's not perishable and I'll eventually go through it.

But the other thing I noticed was the wild price swings by different packaging of the same item. I should've taken pictures. But like-- ok, raw baby spinach. I fucking love spinach. They had a smaller bag and then next to it they had a Family Pack. I hesitated-- it is hard to use up leafy greens but I fucking love spinach and I could make the effort-- and then I looked. I can't do math but fortunately they are required by law to have the price per unit breakdown on every price sticker. Because the small bag of spinach was $1.99, and was $3.99/lb. (A pound of spinach is a lot.) The Family Pack next to it? It was $3.99, which seemed like a good price jump. But on the per-item breakdown, it came out to $7.99/lb. It didn't actually have any more spinach in it. It was just a different-shaped bag and cost more. For no reason. And there was a whole shelf of the larger bags, and only a small display of the smaller ones. They're just expecting people, conditioned like I am, to say "ah i can use more spinach i'll take the savings" and buy the more expensive bag. But I did just do the math (which is difficult for me so you know I'm mad about this) and that is literally the exact same amount of spinach for twice the price.

Similar for stew beef but they went too far with it, it wasn't even plausible. There was a large pack for forty-nine dollars and I didn't even look to see how much was in it because i do not have forty-nine dollars for stew beef, I found a one-pound bag for $8.99. But I had this same issue before, and was more persistent last time I went: you can buy a three-pound chuck roast for $7.99/lb, which is a chunk of change but it's a lot of meat, and cut it into stew beef yourself and save some money that way, but I just knew I did not have it in me this week to cut up yet another chuck roast when I got home. (Full disclosure: i wasn't even looking at the grass-fed organic shit this was just regular USDA whatever Meets Regulations And Is Legal To Sell shit.)

Stew beef is supposed to be the trimmings and it is supposed to be cheap. But they have realized people prefer it, more recipes call for it because it was historically cheaper, and so they have marked it up and it is more expensive than the whole roast. Because most cooks reading a recipe are not going to necessarily know why it calls for stew beef and that they could substitute a superior cut if the price wasn't good.

I am aware that buying the pre-marinated individual convenience cuts is historically where they make their profit and I don't begrudge them that; if that's what I was shopping for I would not be that mad about paying $7 for three cents worth of marinade ingredients, because it is much easier to cook something like that with the attached recipe and because a lot of the markup is the labor costs in putting all that shit together. I don't begrudge them that at all and when I'm paying for it I'm well aware that I am.

But I really do resent how much of the price-gouging is happening by abusing the patterns of behavior they conditioned us into. I learned, twenty years ago, to look for the deals and look for the bulk packs, and now I am being punished for having learned that. I don't mind paying a premium for something I know is a convenience fee, but being charged extra for my formerly-thrifty shopping habits really stings. I shouldn't have to exercise constant vigilance in the fucking grocery store, it's stressful enough to be the only masked person in there and now you have to compete with the huge carts they use for the online ordering peeps that take up a lot of the aisle.

Maybe it's easier to do the price comparisons on the website?

Oh and there are a number of products they now only carry the Wegmans generic for. (You can't get Snyder pretzel bites anymore, and the Wegmans version doesn't come in quite the same flavors, so I have to go to Dash's to get those now.) And still others where the Wegmans version is pricier. And, alas, some where the more expensive Wegmans version is better. (Polly-O string cheese, why are you so bland?? You're a snack baby. The Wegmans generic has salt in it and is a ton more pleasant to eat.)

IDK I don't have a thesis here it's just that being alive in the 2020s is way harder than being alive in the 2000s even though I was poorer then and didn't know shit. I don't miss my youth and I super don't miss George W Bush but I miss when I was figuring stuff out and it seemed to make sense. And I sorta miss when the Wegmans cashiers used to wear t-shirts bragging about how highly-ranked Wegmans was by whatever organization that was that ranked how good places are to work for.

Also, they try to steer you to use the self checkouts, but baby if you have more than two shopping bags' worth of stuff in your cart you had better wait in however long that line is to let a real human put it into bags for you because the self-checkout does not have any mechanism for you to remove and replace a full shopping bag from the bagging area. I told the cashier how much I appreciated him because he wasn't screaming at me, and he was like yah those self-checkouts yell at you a lot.

(Every Wegmans cashier for twenty years has been super nice. I doubt they're in a union, I wish they were.)

Yeah yeah this is the most middle-aged thing I've written yet but I'm in physical therapy and just bought a recliner for the ergonomics so I'm clearly grappling with my own mortality here, and I'm writing this partly out of concern for the kids who are where I was in 2000. What the hell are they being conditioned to do, by all this????? Shit, man.

[rinstaro]

Bestie, that piece about Wild in Barbarian Armor was hot as shit 🔥🌟

Could I request a piece for Time? I like a bit of semi-public sex and got thinking…what if the chain and s/o are in a town and perhaps a worker at the inn they’re staying in has taken an interest in Time and s/o does. not. like that. So they rile Time up until he fucks them in the open and the worker walks in on them and s/o gets to look on in pride because Time is fucking *them* and not anyone else?

You’re the best!

-👻

i love jealous reader !!!! and thank you ghost <33 you’re too sweet

cw: pretty short!! full nelson cause i really really really want time to put me in a full nelson, slight degrading, humiliation, exhibitionism, time is loaded!!!! reader has a vagina and no pronouns. not proofread at all i literally typed this out in the car

minors do not interact.

to say you were pissed was an understatement.

who did this little punk think they were? was it not obvious that the gorgeous hunk of a man next to you was your husband?

the two of you had walked into the small shop just to browse a little. at least, that’s what your intention was. time was absolutely going to buy you everything you glanced at, whether you wanted him to or not. you were his spoiled little brat and he’d treat you like so.

“this will look lovely on you, won’t it, dear? it’s only 700 rupees—“

“oh my gosh, i told you it’s fine—“

“hello, sir!”

only, the cashier didn’t seem to quite care for what you were wearing. instead, they took the opportunity to show time everything that they thought your husband would look good in. every time he’d go to pick out something for you, there they were, telling him that this piece of clothing over here would look great on him.

“beloved, don’t you like this dress? the color fits you well—“

“if you’d look at this button up over here sir, i think it’d be a great fit! it’ll really bring out your eyes!”

you were so. over it.

finally, time had picked out enough clothes for you where he felt satisfied. by this point, you’d devised a sneaky plan to quell your own jealousy. when the annoying little clerk went behind the counter, you called time by his name, which you’d only do when you two were alone.

“link. i think you should try on this shirt, yeah? come with me.” he immediately quirked an eyebrow, wondering what you were up to. he let you drag him into the single fitting room, anticipating your every move.

once the door was closed, you sat the clothes down on the tiny bench inside. you then turned to the mirror and gave him a sneaky little smirk. “you said these pants would fit well, huh? why don’t you help me try em on?”

your lover gave you a pointed look. though, you were awfully hard for him to resist. he couldn’t help placing a hand on your hip. “you’re doing this now? after i spoil you rotten you still want more…” you only giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“just look at you. can you blame me? you really gonna neglect me like that?” his hands trailed down to your ass, giving it a good squeeze. “little brat.”

shorty after his “scolding” he’s sitting on the bench with you in his lap. you grind on his lap relentlessly while he kisses the daylights out of you. he held the back of your neck with one hand and your thigh with the other. he wouldn’t admit it, but his hips were desperately bucking into yours too.

your hands find his hair and tug, which is his last straw. he grabs your waist, moving you into position. “enough of that. i’ll give you what you want but you’d better not make a sound.”

you thought he’d have you ride him, but oh no. his arms are hooked up under your legs and he literally rips your pants apart. “it’s fine,” he insists, “you can just wear the new ones out.”

he wastes no time pushing into your wet cunt. you moan pathetically, to which he growls. “quiet, or you won’t be cumming til we reach the next village.”

your eyes widened, your moans becoming soft little whimpers. you were biting your lip so hard you thought it’d bleed. but nothing could quiet the slap of his hips against yours. as much as he claimed you were spoiled, he wanted you just as badly. it was easy to tell just by how relentless his thrusts were.

time was so caught up in fucking you to put you in your place, he didn’t hear the clerk step in. his forehead was against your back, his teeth clenched as he hissed to quiet his own moans.

“sir? did you need—“ of course, this little fucker was looking for your husband in the dressing room. once they saw you two, they gasped, making direct eye contact with you. despite your embarrassment of being caught in such a lewd position, you held it. you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. they scrambled out of the room as fast as they could without another word.

when the two of you checked out, the clerk didn’t make eye contact with either of you. time handed over a ridiculous amount of rupees, your arms full of clothes he bought solely for you. he once it was paid for, he took all of the bags out of your arms. he kissed your cheek sweetly, smiling. “let me, darling.”

you smiled a bright and happy “thank you!” before leaving, giving them a nasty smirk that said “i win”.

and your husband was none the wiser.

[decaying-church]

Slashers: Begging Headcanons

A/n: (Michael GIF cuz fuckin look at him. Please send request, I'm ✨bored✨. Also, I'm noticing a pattern here with some of these men)

Slashers x male!reader

Warning⚠️: Smut

Characters (in order of appearance): Stu Macher, Brahms Heelshire, Billy Lenz, Vincent Sinclair, Billy Loomis, Michael Myers, Herbert West.

You don't even have to touch Stu, at the insulation of sex he's already on his hands and knees begging. Literally, he will lead you to the bed, sit you down, knell in between your legs and beg to suck your cock. You'll let him, of course, because he does it so well and he's so pretty when he begs.

Brahms is a lot like Stu in the way that the slightest hint of sex makes him go buck-fucking-wild. He's a bit more hands-on than Stu. He'll wrap himself around you, grinding himself down to get whatever friction he can. Begging for your help, his hands clawing at your shirt as he desperately tried to turn you on enough that you'd fuck him.

Billy. My sweet perverted boy. He doesn't ask as much as he does demand. He'll lean in close to you, his breathing jagged and uneven, he'll tell you where he wants to be touched and when he wants to be touched. He's fucking vulgar too, using word that you didn't even know could be twisted to be sex related. (smart boy billy is such a fun headcanon)

Vincent, I love you so my submissive sweetheart. He loves to beg. It’s usually quiet, and not for long. But he'll do it for you. Pulling you in and muttering, “harder, please..”

Billy is definitely the type to try and hold it in at first. Like his moans, he thinks that it's something he should just never let out. But sometimes your just not going fast enough for him, sometimes he wants you to grab him by his hair while you fuck him from behind. But there's no way you would know that without him begging for it.

I'm a submissive Michael Myers truther. To get to a point of fucking him, you have to get him to talk to you. Even after you've brought him out of his shell a bit, getting him to talk to you, and getting him to admit that he wants to get fucked by you are two very different things. But once you get to that point it's so very good. Michael is a big boy, he'll lean down in your ear, his voice soft and surprisingly gentle as he mutters, “please, let's go upstairs, take me upstairs..” in a voice that you couldn't exactly read until his hand grabbed yours and pulled it back against himself, just over his crotch. Whispering, “please.” in your ear over and over in a quiet, desperate voice.

Another demanding one. Herbert will claw at your back, his legs wrapped around your waist, pants hanging off of one ankle, telling you what he wants and where he wants it. He's loud with it too, Dan has told you that it sounded more like he was giving orders than it did like sex if it weren't for all the moaning, and banging, and bumping, and the “oh, yes, right there!”’s that went along with it.

Reblogs> likes

[kinardsevan]

what are ur headcanons for buck and tommy's nuptials

I've said some of these before but:

Tommy does something small and intimate for the engagement. It's them at home, very sweet and very subdued. He spends weeks planning it with Maddie's help, recruits Eddie for the whole display he does (idk if it's flowers or some other craft, but there's definitely a display). Dozens of electric candles (because fire safety kids!). In my head, he uses the candles to spell out "marry me" (or some variation of that).

They talk about eloping, just getting it over with in a weekend, not because they aren't excited about it, but because they're not 20-year-old kids anymore. They just want to get on with the next phase (settling into marriage, whether that includes kids or just a bunch of dogs, building their house, making sure their advanced directives are in order), and being married is an important part of all of that. Still, their friends are not okay with this. Hen tells them how important her wedding was with her mom in attendance. Maddie reminds them that they can still do something small and intimate AND allow their family to celebrate them. Eddie, the consummate romantic, tells them that they can't skip the wedding because he wants all the romance without the commitment. Bobby and Athena tell them they'll support whatever they decide.

They have a short engagement, just like Bobby and Athena, and decide to get married in the backyard.

There's an argument over best men. First, they both want Eddie. Then, Chim intervenes and they both argue over him. Somehow, things really get switched up and Bobby ends up as Evan's best man while Tommy has Chim. Eddie gets to be the one that marries them. (Eddie might have lost his spot as best man for Evan because he misplaced the rings a few weeks before the wedding, but who's to say 👀)

When asked "who gives these two away", the entire 118 (and Maddie) says "we do". It's fucking emotional.

Jee-Yun is the flower girl and baby Buck (Connor's kid) is the ring bearer.

THE SPEECHES: Chimney definitely mentions Maurice. Bobby's makes everyone cry. Eddie manages to bring the mood back up by roasting both of them. Maddie also tries to give a speech, talking about how happy she is to see her brother so happy and settled, and how much she loves how Tommy has become a part of their forged family, but she can't get the words out.

HenRen find a moment in the midst of the reception to ask Tommy if his intentions are honorable again. He basically is like "look, I have cake. Can I enjoy my cake? You're literally at my wedding reception."

Phillip and Margaret are there, mostly out of a feeling of obligation to invite them, but Evan pays little mind to their attendance. It's the private speeches about love and marriage Athena and Bobby give him that night that mean more.

Evan went full Clipboard™ on the entire process, down to color coordination. Fall wedding, fall colors. (I'm imagining emerald green dress shirts under their tuxes - color scheme actually found here)

As always, Tommy thinks Clipboard Buck is hot, so he just lets him go wild on the whole thing.

[lover-of-mine]

can i be petty for a moment and say that it's wild how eddie/kim not only had more chemistry, but also had more moments where kim understood eddie perfectly and so much emotional intimacy between them in two episodes than buck and tommy in the entire season 💀 like we don't even know kim's last name and yet she had more of an impact on the narrative...HELL shannon diaz is DEAD and she's still affecting the story more than tommy is 💀 i hate the outcome of the kim storyline with chris leaving but one has to admit...it's not that the writers don't know how to write buck and tommy in a meaningful way, they just don't want to

HONESTLY. People like to deny it but Ryan's chemistry with Devin is incredible. And Kim was ridiculously insightful about Eddie, kinda impressive that she only knew him for a few weeks and was delivering analysis worthy of eddieblr. "I think you're cautious because you have more to give than you think anyone can take" is the type of shit you would read in a post waxing poetics about the way Eddie hides because he's scared of his own intensity and it's a literal line on the show said by a character who had been there for 5 minutes, didn't have a last name, might be kinda insane, and totally blew up Eddie's life. And it's not like the show doesn't know how to develop relationships with a time crunch. Taylor had 4 episodes in s4. They did make it seem like she cared and she did read Buck in the way Buck was presenting himself, did she called Buck out for acting like he's invincible? Yes, but so does everyone else but Eddie, so like, it is a common interpretation of the way Buck acts, and it makes it feel like she thought about it. Miss girl tried. They had 6 episodes with Tommy. And they went nowhere with it. They were somehow better at writing a reporter into the story than another firefighter. Kim was in 2 episodes and was reading Eddie like he was her favorite book. Fuck, dude, Ana was in 5 episodes of s4 and we saw her have a bigger impact and Ana was firmly in the background. The show made such an intentional choice of not giving bt a fighting chance, it's kinda impressive. It's kinda like getting a 0 on a test because you know all the right answers and are choosing the wrong ones on purpose. Every single one of their scenes could've been written slightly different and have a completely different effect. It's crazy, yk? They really just... didn't want to.

[twstedforyou]

toooo everyone askin if im alright i went to the hospital for a whiel aprpently but i literally cant rememrber anyuthing and everytime i ask people arouns me they allo cant remmerber but thats propabyl beacuse were a household of rellrllly rlylry rly lr ylrly rold peeps like 60s 70s level and out ELDEDST 9not my big sis theres two of them alien rememrbe_ and whatevr they work at is super exhausting n inapaprently so they always come home superpsupeurpsure tire d too and be careful its about to get WACKK FROM HERE ON ccchehck youselr f before you wereck youself BUCKOS STAY SAFE DONT DO WEIRD DRUGS OR LET YOUR BLIND AS SHIT ALSO PRPPOLY A LIL LOOPY TIRED OLD POPS GIVE YOU DRUGS WHEN HE BARELY SPeAKS ENGLISH UNLEsss ITS HALLMAKR CARD PERFEVT HOW MANY DOCTORS DID YOU FINDNND WHAT AM I TAKIN WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW JACK SHIT WHERE DID WE PUT ANYTYHIIIIN IN THIS HOUSE ITS SO FUCKIN COLD IN ERHER MY HANDA ARE SHAKIN AND BRUNIN AND GOD SMITE ME WHERE I STHAND AT THIS POINT IF I BIT E THE DUST PUT MY ASHES ON PAAPER AND SEND IT TO THAT BOWLCUT TSPIN SHIT IF I DREW YOU SOMETHING KEEP IT ITS YOURS I HOPE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY cauSE THEY MAKE ME HAPPY EAT ELL WELL GO OUTSEIDE HAVE FUN GO BUCK WILD THIS IS MY FORMAL LEGALS WRITtEN WORD DO YOU KNOW MNAY REPOSTS AND SPEACCHES AND PLOTLITCS AND NEWS AND SCINCE NSFKL ANDMEDICINEINF IVE HAD TO WRITE AND TYPEW AND ORAGICNE N KLADJLJLADKJ I I MADE THIS FOR THE FUCKING PEOPL AND THE PEAPLE DEMANDA IT JUST FUCKING GO FOR IT I WANNA SEE IT LET THIS BE MY CURSED LEGACY WASH IT CLAEN BABBYYY JST DO ITTTTTTTTTTTT WRITE OR DRAW IT I AINT FUCKIN STOPPIN OYOU ANYMORE IT SYOURS

BUT ALSO IM GOONNA BR DRAWIN AND WRITING IT WE CAN COMPARE NOTES OR WAHTER ILL SEE YALL IN HELL IM GOING BACK IN THE HOEL THE DITVCH WONDER:AND WIXARD OF OZ NARNIA INTOT HE FUCKING DIFERS OGT AHT GINAT VOALCANO WHYA RE WE ALSO WATCHING SHOWS OF PEOPLE KICKIN THE BUCKET ANYWAS IM OUT PEACE LOVE YALL STAY SAFE WATCH OUT FOR OLD PEPOPLEIF IM ATILL KCIKK IN ILL REPOST BACK MAYBE PRETTY SURE ILL FOEGET AGAIN BUT HELL YEAH IM STILL HERE

[lu-lus-dicks]

Hi~

I made part 2!

I never wrote sex scenes before so it's probably pretty bad but I tried my best 😅

Alastor's tentacles tear both of his captives' clothes, neither of them has time to take a breather as his tentacles grip Lucifer's head and smash his mouth (still dirty with worm mush vomit) on Vox's dick.

The radio demon approaches the tvhead and uses a needle, given to him by a wild Nifty that jumped out of his trashcan, to make a hole in both of his nipples.

The tv lets out a static-y scream and tries to wriggle away as he put one worm in both of the newformed wounds.

Lucifer seems to not have received the memo so Alastor uses his tentacles to force his mouth open and shoves Vox's dick in it.

They wriggle, moan and keep a steady pace unsure if they're in pain, turned on or grossed out.

One of the tentacles chokes his majesty, forcing him to suck Vox harder to try and gasp for air feeling all the battery acid taste of his precum.

Suddenly the tentacles separates them and pull them up in a standing position, squishing their parts against each other's.

Out of the shadows Alastor pulls out a jar, like the ones where his grandma used to put jam, and it's so filled with worms that they barely have any space to wriggle.

He opens the lid and one of his tentacles shoves it on both of his captives' dicks, like a living and slimy fleshlight.

It brings it up and down in a faster and faster pace overstimulating the hell out of them.

"I-I...I'm cloOse!" says Vox gasping for air and bucking his hips against the King's.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast" says the radio demon removing the jar.

"You asked to be filled with more worms afterall, didn't you?" he says grinning maniacally.

"Y-yes?"

"Good boy"

Vox hasn't finished elaborating what his archenemy just said as he feels an awful pain in his lower regions and starts screaming.

He looks down and sees with horror two tendrils keeping his cockhole open as another one pushes a worm inside of it.

The Tv head is overstimulated and he doesn't even know in which way.

Once the worm's completely in, wriggling its way further inside, the tentacles bring back the jar where it was and pumps it faster and faster.

At some point Lucifer deems the pace not quick enough so he takes the matter in his own hands, literally, and pushes Vox on Alastor's chair while pumping the jar at a quicker pace.

They're arching their backs, biting each other to the bone and grinding faster and faster trying to reach satisfaction.

Vox's the first to reach it as he lets out a long and loud autotuned moan that could rilval Angeldust.

The King screams in pain as Vox's cum is literal sparks of electricity, it's as strong as a taser and yet this gives Lucifer the best orgasm of his life.

The both of them pass out.

They wake up hearing their own voices screaming and moaning.

Nifty's sitting on the ground, phone in hand watching again and again their sextape.

"Delete that! Delete that immediately!"

"Hell no, this will bring me the Diamond Play Button!"

"IT'S ON YOUTUBE?????"

"Yeah, and it already has thousands of views!"

"YOU LITTL-"

"Where's Alastor?"

"Oh, he went to take over Voxtec over an hour ago"

"HE WHAT????"

Vox pushes the King off of him and tries to sprint towards the door, he fails miserably and tumbles down the stairs

Btw, I made a sideblog.

Nothing is posted yet but it exists.

https://www.tumblr.com/notsafe4worms?source=share

Again, tagging the hoes @nunalastor

Secondly, followed. Notsafe4worms is so fuckin funny

I just woke up by the way. This is a treat to read. I love your twisted little mind <3 hot af, will reread this multiple times.

Also, you used vox cums in autotune and I am going to fucking orgasm on the spot rn. I love when people make shit for me like that

[that-birdy-chick]

Hawaii five 0 s8 commentary:

Part 1.

ep 1 x s8

- five 0 really do love introducing female characters in bikinis, or were they trying to make it even more obvious that tani is the new kono replacement?

- aww Danny asking Steve to be his partner in the whole restaurant thing is very sweet

- the torch is back again? Kinda thought his story was complete after the prison break with Adam, didn't he have this whole speech about being better of in prison?

- okay Steve worrying about tani being reckless and her not taking any of his shit and Danny being all "see, now you know how I feel all the time" is very funny

- oh so now you realize going into the middle of a raging wild fire was a bad idea, who would have thought?

- damn Danny is so used to Steve's bullshit he doesn't even fight it anymore

- they- he's taking the entire house? He's taking the entire house

- wow they're making it very very obvious that tani is supposed to be the new kono, okay

- omg so call me nuts but why does the whole restaurant thing feel like a weird metaphor for Steve and danny setteling down together? They talk like their gonna marry- I feel like I'm hallucinating

ep 2

- I may be a cat person but that is one cute dog- and he has such a nice owner and - oh no I know how this is gonna go

- nononono don't hurt the doggo! IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?!

- don't show me this fucking junior guy I need to know if the dog is okay!

- Steve what do you mean, you've never been married? You and danny have been basically married for at least 5 years now. And since when are you uncomfortable talking about Steve's feelings Danny?? what are you two talking about??

- yes finally someone goes looking for the poor puppy! Oh no the poor baby's hurt 🥺Tho I'm a little confused I thought Danny was the dog person? Why is Steve suddenly so invested and not danny? Did the powers that be forget the whole Mr. Pickles thing?

- people how am I supposed to care about the plot if I don't know if the dog is gonna make it!

- poor eddie is such a good boy, I would literally die for him 🥺 he's gonna be okay! oh thank goodness

- "I thought you were a cat person " (thank you Danny!)

"I guess he grew on me"

Steve why you looking at Danny while saying that? Don't tell me the dog is supposed to be a parallel to him

-god damn it, pets mourning their lost owners always gets me :'(

ep 3

- I swear the whole restaurant thing feels like Steve and danny planning their wedding-

Kamekona did not just pull out a mcdanno shirt -

I can't with this show anymore

- eyyyy bootleg James bond is back! And steve is talking about "our" retirement plan? Just make them an official married couple already!

- come on Harry, you don't gotta roast their restaurant idea like that especially after they agreed to let you tagalong

- I love how mcdanno exchange judging looks whenever Harry trys to sweet talk someone, true couple goals right there

- man the whole police-violence-played-for-laughs-thing especially against poc really didn't age well

- okay so 10 bucks harry's the secret bad guy

- eww no don't flirt with tani harry, that's just weird! I swear what is it with Hollywood and old men hitting on girls that aren't even half their age

- Damn Harry really just went and called Steve and danny out for for being in love and unable to live without each other and they didn't deny anything

- okay nvm Harry isn't the bad guy it's just some random dude who lost a kid, and apparently Harry lost someone important to him?

- naww they boys are cooking for them- aaand fighting - oh man, this could have been such a nice little gesture, why you gotta ruin it for a joke? I mean I know their probably just setting up the restaurant idea failing which- I'm kinda sad about because it could have been an actual nice retirement thing to end the show on somewhere down the line, but I guess not

ep 4

- I love how Lou talks to steve like he's making an investment without asking his husband (which let's be real he definitely is)

- the use of the term "partner" is becoming more and more ambiguous by the second

- rip toast he was a nice dude, at least before he became loaded

- naww not Steve being all smug about Danny calling Hawaii home

- no kamekona! don't hurt him🥺

- better call your son dude you don't fuck with Steve's family

- kamekona really did a fuck tone of good ever since he made it out of prison, it's really nice that he finally gets some recognition for that

- so junior is homeless? Really explains a lot of stuff about why he's so desperate to be five 0

-aww and steve adopts him right away and tani too, the man really does collect strays like Pokémon

ep 5

- aw grace brought Steve a pumpkin for Halloween? guess she's growing up to be a Halloween lover just like her dad

- so 10 min in and already Alicia triggered Steve's mommy-issues

-Alicia honey, Steve has like five adopted children already and is a pretty intense dude maybe it be good to have someone else take care of your deeply traumatized daughter if this doesn't go well?

- tani:"so there's this hot demi-god"

"top or bottom?" Danny asking the important question

- love me some good folklore inspired murders

- so the clay maxwell thing still isn't over? poor Lou hasn't the guy has put him through enough?

- I love that their bringing eddie along everywhere now, he's the best new addition to the team <3

- so love that Danny is also along for them search of the killer but isn't that kind of a bad idea with his busted arm?

-huh tani and junior are clicking fast guess there's a romance about to happen

- hey and Lou is finally getting closure for the dian thing, that's great!

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

so over the weekend (literally two days) i watched 16 of the 18 episodes of season 3....... so here's my thoughts!!!!

i've already professed my love for the characters more than enough but i just need to remind everyone that i am sosososo in love with all these fucking characters, what a truly insanely likeable lineup of different personalities

eddie getting buck to babysit chris so he stops being stuck in a depressive spiral.... genius

the earthquake episodes last season were insane, but the tsunami disaster?????? off the charts. the scenes with buck and chris were fucking beautiful, i love this duo and need more of them NOW. buck cares about that kid so goddamn much. and while tired and injured he saves idk how many more people. the way him and chris are fighting for their lives and then buck is desperately looking for chris all while eddie thinks they're completely safe. eddie was freaking out last season because his son was stuck in a school, but he was calm during this disaster because he was with BUCK. it makes me so emotional. im sosososo glad that i had seen the outcome of chris being found before watching the episode bc idk how people who didnt know that beforehand could handle it. the scene with eddie finding buck with chris' glasses???? im going to start crying. and after all of that for buck being so sure eddie wouldnt trust him anymore only for him to drop off chris again like its nothing?? im going to sob

from what i have read online the lawsuit storyline is a very divisive topic in the fandom. i kind of see both sides. i can see that buck thought his hands were tied and that the only family he had was replacing him. but i know at the same time that it's an overreaction. bobby didnt have any reason to have buck stay on leave for that long when chimney proudly proclaims he went back to work after only a couple of weeks. i understand that bobby cares about buck like a son somewhat, but he was not being fair. buck also shows that he didn't really want to cause as much hurt and friction between them by apologising again and again and not even thinking about accepting the money, going back to the 118 even though he knew they were going to make it difficult for him. it was a tricky situation, but im glad they moved on from it fairly quickly.

the fight club eddie storyline is kind of wild????? also did he ever get any reporcussions from bobby for that??? men will literally do anything but talk about their issues and deal with their feelings. what an insanely gay thing to do.

love eddies conversation with bobby where he starts crying. eddie should cry more often (i say this with love)

lena im in love with you, do you like women?

chris' english teacher is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful

i truly love seeing athena and her family grow and change over time. the relationship between bobby and michael is so important to me. i love them together. and michael's tumor storyline??? heartbreaking.

love albert!

chimney and maddie i love you two soso much you deserve the world, youre so imporant to me. chimney respecting maddies boundaries no matter what.... im gonna cry (A BABY?????????)

the episode of 911 dispatch being taken over might just be one of the best episodes of the series. i especially loved that we got to see characters that other times didnt get as much screentime. LOVE LOVE LOVE JOSH!!!

the athena begins episode is heartbreaking. and beautiful. the closure at the end, with her telling emmet's mother that they made an arrest. how beautiful. really well done. she never gave up on finding that man.

the eddie begins episode is also beautiful. him cutting the fucking rope???? idk how they want me to believe that he swam to safety but whatever..... anyways he loves chris so much and we got to see more of his and shannon's marriage which i loved. to be fair, he was kind of a shitty father and definitely a shitty husband, shannon was clearly not ok and i understand why she left. doesnt make it right, but i understand it. when he gets stuck underground and buck starts losing his mind, screaming, crying, throwing up and bobby gives him /that/ look. oh kill me now. that man was gonna dig by hand .... i love them.

the episode of buck helping that old veteran feel important and not alone at the end of his life? im going to start crying again. buck truly believes that no one will ever love him or choose him or stay with him forever.

michael talking to harry about what being black means when they encounter police was incredibly moving and heartbreaking. but also important. i just love athena's family.

hen hitting that cello girl with the ambulance...... oh i cried so hard, my heart broke for her. karen and her are so amazing together i love them so much, they truly are each other's rock.

i love the buckley siblings. i love the side characters. i love the main characters. i have so many thoughts.

abby....i understand that she had to get away from everything to find herself ok? but she shoudlve just texted or sent a letter to buck just to give him closure and not let him keep haunting her apartment. i dont like them as a couple, this shit has clearly hurt buck deeply and will not be easy for him to get over. she didnt really seem all to apologetic either at the end. i get it but also why did u have to hurt buck by not ever responding and ghosting him????

got so many funny and beautiful scenes this season, it was amazing!!! truly loved every character. it had that gay ass buddie kitchen scene... lol

but anyways....im already done with two episdoes of season 4 so bye

[judithan-xing]

i feel like if i ever released my notes for CADAVER ppl would really realize how fucking unhinged i was writing that whole thing like. its actually buck wild. Honestly i'll go ahead and post it for funsies cuz I think getting to see the ideas n stuff behind ppl's work is cool, so someone out there will probably appreciate this.

some fun behind the scenes notes about it under the read more if you're interested in a mad man's ranting

my notes about what aspects of Vincent/Cid should stay the same and what parts i felt were fine to mess with.

originally i was gonna lean WAY more into Vincent being a traditional vampire rather than a horrible amalgamation of man and demon, to the point he would just straight up be hunting n whatever. I scrapped that in favor of just making him mostly immortal and can eat/drink regular stuff for fun but wants to feed off of Cid cuz bloodlust and also regular lust

i literally kept rewriting the Vague Overarching plot of Cadaver and then randomly, in the middle of the document put 'Vampire Vincent x Hunter Cid' as if this would fucking mean ANYTHING to me later. I think I was literally half asleep when i put that in. It's hilarious. I don't know why it's there or that far down. Also this was me trying to decide how close to Red Snow I wanted it to be, and originally it was gonna be Pretty Fuckin Close but I scrapped that.

hilarious that "THINGS FOR SURE" first plot point wasnt even fuckin used lmao. Also originally Vin was gonna be turned into a vampire AND THEN had chaos implanted, rather than chaos being the thing to turn him. wack. I dont even remember writing that.

i need yall to know i saw a fucking dragon outfit for fli/ght ri/sing that literally permanently altered the course of Cadaver. I'm not kidding. Someone had a cool dragon outfit preset thing for a deadzone investigator and it inspired me so much I changed Cid's profession to that. Seriously.

im so mad i wasn't able to use that stellar fucking line i cooked up at the bottom, but yall get to see it now. but yeah originally the presentation was gonna Actually Be A Presentation and then i realized 'i dont want to fucking write that, that's boring as shit' so I didn't. also i ended up making rufus way more hands-off cuz i just. dont know his character that well and didnt want to start in the middle of a huge plotfic thats not about him

these are dead ass all my notes for Cadaver. like. that's it. no chapter by chapter set up or plan or anything like that. I literally wrote about 2000 words of rambling notes, went 'yeah thats good enough' and ripped out a 63k word fic in like 3 weeks. i dont know. i dont know. its crazy.

[beesmygod]

So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?

note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc

i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.

botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.

none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.

mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.

this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game

totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.

sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.

there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.

for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".

also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.

also nerf rain