#Like yeah there's actual reasons why nobody clocked me

[shiroselia]

Other than every other reason it’s a fucking miracle that not a single person around me not even myself clocked me as autistic, it’s fucking hilarious that nobody, especially myself, clocked me being autistic as if I haven’t literally been self-narrating my own life outloud ever since I could fucking talk

[hxneyfarm]

got the idea in my head of the party clocking the steddie tension and bullying eddie about it so this happened | 1.7k | rating: g or t, depending on how you feel about swearing

“I’m gonna need you two to either quit that or get your shit together and make out already.”

Eddie drags his eyes away from the door at the top of the basement stairs that Steve’s just closed on his way out to pick up Max and El, back to the task at hand, the table in front of him, his lost little sheep taking their places around the table in the Wheelers’ basement. It's Erica that spoke up, her eyebrow raised in a condescending kind of way that Eddie’s not sure if she learned from her mother or from Steve.

“Hey, watch your fuckin’ mouth,” he chastises, a little belatedly, a lot unnecessarily, and very obviously a deflection from the meat and potatoes of what she said.

It’s not just little Sinclair watching Eddie anymore; they’re all peering expectantly at him like they’re waiting for an explanation. Well, they’re not gonna get it. This little dance that he and Steve are doing - if it’s even a dance at all - is nobody’s business but their own. 

It’s been months now and it’s driving Eddie out of his goddamned mind but it’s not like he’s going to talk to the fucking kids about it. Jeff and Grant have been pretty receptive about the whole thing and Eddie’s talked both their ears off to the point of annoyance. Gareth won’t even give him the time of day anymore when Eddie starts in on talking about Steve.

It’s just that he and Steve have had this little back and forth going for a few months now, where they’ll flirt and Eddie will just start to think that maybe’s he’s got a shot and then Steve will back away. And then they’ll go a few days without talking and they’ll be back at it with a vengeance, picking on each other and making suggestive comments and very intentionally checking one another out.

But then Eddie’ll see Steve laying that same charm onto every girl that walks into the video store and snap back to himself. The mixed signals make him want to scream a little bit. One minute he’s psyching himself up to ask Steve to come back to his after work, maybe watch a stupid movie and make out on the couch, but then he reminds himself that he’s fucking delusional and Steve is just like that. He’s a flirt, and the way he flirts with Eddie doesn’t mean anything.

But the kids are still watching him, still waiting for an explanation about the way he and Steve were just gazing at each other as Steve climbed the stairs to leave, and so Eddie sighs.

“It’s nothing, okay?”

“Right,” says Henderson with a roll of his eyes and a shrug of his shoulders. “Which is why you two can’t stop making those lovesick faces at each other and flirting with each other, and why neither of you can ever shut up about each other.”

“Steve talks about me?”

“Jesus Christ,” Mike mutters. He’s tipping his chair back, balancing it on two legs. It’d be so easy for Eddie to just… tap it with his foot, send little Wheeler to the floor.

“Anyway!” Eddie says again, clapping his hands together. “It doesn’t matter! It’s nothing! Stevie’s just… like that. Y’know? With everybody. Let’s get to work, we’ve got a campaign to get through, no reason for us to be wasting time talking about Steve Harrington. Right?”

“Wait,” Will cuts in. His smile is a little mischievous, a little mean, and suddenly Eddie doesn’t remember why he likes the littlest Byers as much as he does. “You think Steve acts the way he does with you, with everybody?”

“Yeah. We’re friends. He’s… flirtatious. It’s not a thing, y’know? It’s just. A thing.”

“So you really think he willingly stuffs four teenagers in his car every Friday night to drop us off here, and then goes back out to pick up two more teenagers to bring them out here because…? Friends?” Lucas is looking at Eddie like he thinks he might be ready to grow another head.

Okay. Fuck. So they’re actually talking about this. Eddie and a bunch of snotty little kids are about to talk about his fucking crush on their babysitter. Jesus Christ.

“Listen. We are not discussing this.”

Will ignores him. “If you like him, ask him out.”

“And ruin a perfectly good friendship, baby Byers? I think I’ll pass. Besides, him and Nance…”

“Are long over,” Will insists, leaning forward and putting his arms on the table. “She’s still going out with my brother.”

“Like I said,” Erica cuts in again, “I need you two to suck face already or cut it out. We might be kids but we aren’t blind.”

“Please, he doesn’t even like me like that.”

“Are you kidding?” Dustin again. It’s like a game of round robin, each kid around the table lobbing questions and insistences at him in turn. “How can you say that, Eddie? The way he looks at you, the way he talks to you. He spends his Fridays here, in his ex-girlfriend's basement, to spend time with you. Don’t you see the way he watches you?”

“He just… I tell a good story.”

Mike lets loose a scoff and a sigh that could very well shake the foundations of the house around them. “I don’t even like Steve, but yeah. He treats you different. Special.”

“I already told you - he flirts with everybody. He’s a flirt! That doesn’t mean that it means something.”

“Who else does he call baby?” Lucas asks him, deadpan.

“He has pet names for everybody.”

“No he doesn’t. Who else is he going around touching all the time?”

“Robin, who he does have a pet name for. He calls her Bird.”

“Because you started calling her Bird. He picked that up from you,” Dustin argues. “And yes, he talks about you. He asks about you when he hasn’t seen you in a few days. He mentions stuff you said. He had an Ozzy tape playing in his car today and when I asked about it, y’know what he said?”

“‘Eddie gave it to me,’” Will supplies with a smile. “And he was smiling when he said it. That weird smile he gets sometimes. You know the one.”

“The Eddie smile.”

Eddie’s mouth is dry. His head is swimming a little bit. His heart races. There’s blood pounding in his ears as he thinks about Steve listening to The Ultimate Sin in his car even when Eddie’s not around to tell him about the production of the album or explain the intricacies of the instrumentals. He listens to it because he enjoys the music Eddie’s shown him. He talks about Eddie to the kids, asks about him.

Eddie exists to Steve outside of the weekly campaigns at the Wheelers’.

Doesn’t mean Steve likes Eddie the way Eddie likes him, though. Eddie can’t let himself dwell too much on the possibilities of what that could mean. He’s been crushing for months now. It’s almost winter in Hawkins, and Steve’s started coming around to campaigns more and more often the closer to the holidays it gets; Eddie figured it’s because Nancy will be coming home for Christmas soon - she was just here for Thanksgiving and Steve spent most of that Friday upstairs with her instead of in the basement with Eddie and the kids. So Eddie just kind of figured they were reconciling… 

He’d moped about it after he went home, certain that he’d never have a chance with Steve in spite of his very big, very obvious crush on him.

The thing is, Eddie’s never been all that subtle in his affections. He’s a tactile guy as it is, but with Steve it’s like he can’t keep his hands to himself at all. He finds himself reaching out whenever they’re together, a moon orbiting a planet, and Steve is all too willing to be the gravitational pull that draws Eddie close.

But that doesn’t mean he likes Eddie.

Which is what he says to the kids. They’re still looking at him, waiting for his response.

“You are so blind, God,” Mike groans, covering his face. “We can all see the way he feels about you, and you’re so gaga for him it’s a fucking miracle he hasn’t asked you out himself. Jesus, we are all so sick of this shit.”

“Language, Wheeler.”

“Stop deflecting, Munson. If you don’t say something when he gets back here, I’m gonna tell him for you. We’re all fucking tired of this!”

“I don’t wanna hear it from you, of all people!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you don’t know then I’m not gonna tell you. Dumbass teenagers.”

There’s a flurry of footfalls above them, and then the basement door opens to reveal El and Max coming slowly down the stairs with Steve following close behind.

“Tense down here,” Steve smiles. “What’d we just walk in on?”

Panic rises in Eddie as Mike pins him with an evil smile and starts to open his mouth to spill the beans.

“Good news first or bad news first?” Eddie blurts out, holding out a hand towards Mike to shut him up.

“Uh oh,” Steve says. He pauses on the bottom step as the girls hover near the table. Steve’s eyebrows draw together, a little confused and a little concerned, and Eddie’s overcome with the urge to reach out and touch him. “Bad news first, always.”

“We were arguing about you.”

“And the good news?”

“Good news for you, either way. You have the option to prove them all wrong or severely gross them out.”

That crease between Steve’s eyebrows deepens. “What are you talking about?”

Well. Here goes nothing.

“The kids are all convinced you’re into me the same way I’m into you but I told ‘em that’s ridiculous. So you can tell ‘em they’re all idiots or you can come over here and kiss me, make ‘em all wanna wash their eyes out with bleach.”

Steve’s smile is slow to spread, but spread it does. It starts as a twitch in the corner of his mouth and his face softens. That twitch goes a little lopsided, one side of his mouth tipping up into an uncertain smile before it bleeds over onto the rest of his mouth, and he’s grinning. 

The Eddie smile.

It takes him no time at all to cross from the stairs to where Eddie sits at the head of the table and he drags Eddie up out of his seat.

“Guess we better get some bleach ready, then, baby,” Steve says.

And then he kisses him.

because you both asked to be tagged literally anytime i write something: @steves-strapcollection and @patchworkgargoyle - here, i wrote something

[bowsellie]

we have chemistry

warnings: college!ellie x college!reader, stoner!ellie, chronically ill reader (not specific, just mentions of fatigue and a medical accommodation for a single room for plot reasons lol), weed usage (Ellie and reader), mild language, briefly proofread, no use of y/n minors dni! smut in 3rd section! top!ellie, some degradation, praise (reader called a good girl, pretty girl, etc., ellie told she's doing a good job), SO MUCH CONSENT WE <3 CONSENT, fingering (r! receiving), oral (r! receiving), aftercare.

💗💗💗

You didn't want to be taking organic chemistry. Nobody in that class did--not even the chemistry majors. But as finals season rolled around, you found yourself spending extra time to make sure that it would at least be worth your while. Needless to say, not everybody shared the same drive.

As the clock hit 8:49am on the last class before the exam, everybody started shoving their laptops away despite the professor's continuing drone. To your right there was an extra loud snap! as the student beside you--an auburn-haired girl you'd never seen before--shut the screen with finality. You shot her a glare, gently closing your notebook as people began to trickle out.

"You're smart, right?"

You angled your face towards the sound, assuming somebody was having a side conversation close by. Instead, you found yourself face to face with striking green eyes leaning to reach your line of sight.

"Hi. Yeah, you. You're using an actual notebook and have all the fancy pens and shit, so...are you smart?"

Your eyebrows drew together slightly as you shrugged with one shoulder. "I try, I guess. Um...why?"

One corner of the girl's mouth picked up. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've literally never been to this class before. My grade sucks. But I really don't want to retake this shit. Do you think you could help me?"

You stared at her incredulously, mentally calculating the equation of audacity and arrogance it must take to expect a complete stranger to help despite a clear lack of effort.

You opened your mouth slightly to say some variation of hell fucking no, who do you think you are anyways?, maybe you should have considered that before skipping literally every other class meeting when she stuck out her hand. "I'm Ellie, by the way. I'll pay you for helping me." When you hesitated to shake it, she added a "please".

You rolled your eyes, shaking the girl--Ellie's--hand with slightly too much force. "Fine. Whatever. Give me your number." You slid your phone across the table, already open to the contacts app, and watched as she typed.

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you..." she asked, pausing for your name. You gave it. "Thank you."

💗💗💗

Getting back to your dorm and settling into bed for a nap, you briefly texted the number now in your phone as "Ellie" with the last name "Wehavechemistry".

hey

Almost immediately, three dots popped up.

hey there. do you like my contact? lmao

i mean, we do have chemistry together. so like...sure?

no no no. i meant like...we have chemistry. wink wink nudge nudge. and my last name starts with a w so it's funny. do you get it?

...

it's funny.

yeah yeah sure. very funny. hahaha. anyways.

when did you want to come over? i'm free all weekend, and the final's monday. sooooo

oh shit

didn't realize the final was monday

ummmmmmmm how does tomorrow at 8pm work? do you have a roommate or something we need to accommodate for?

no, no roommate. tomorrow at 8pm works fine for me. see you then, ellie.

:)

Turns out, texting with Ellie wasn't all that insufferable. She was friendlier than you expected, and every time you put your phone down to try and fall asleep you found your heart beating too fast at every notification to actually put it down.

Instead, you kept the conversation going until 8pm the next day rolled around, when instead of a text you got three loud raps at the door.

Opening it up, you saw Ellie in the same hoodie as yesterday. This time, her hair was slightly damp and she smelled like...old spice and something pungent and earthy. Did she shower already?

"Hey," you said, suddenly feeling awkward and over dressed in your jean shorts and crop top, hair still done from that afternoon. "You can come in."

Ellie grinned at you as she slid in the door. "We have a semester of schoolwork to cover. Hope you're prepared for a long night," she said.

"Trust me, I am. Did you bring anything?" You asked, looking for a bag as she climbed on to your bed.

"Nope. Not school stuff, anyways." Curious, you tossed your notebook towards her and watched as she pulled a pre-rolled joint and lighter from her hoodie pocket. "I'm assuming you don't smoke since you're like, a nerd, but do you mind if I do?"

You shook your head, dropping your jaw in false offense. "How lame do you think I am? Just because I actually go to class doesn't mean I'm a nerd."

Ellie shot you a disbelieving look, but handed you the joint anyways as you joined her on the bed. "Here, have the first hit. As a thank you for helping me out."

She lit it for you as you inhaled, passing her the weed and opening your notebook. "If this keeps you from retaining information that's not my fault. Just saying."

"Trust me, I'm so alert right now it's crazy. All of tonight is gonna be stuck in my memory for a while."

💗💗💗

The room gradually grew darker, lit only by your adjusting lamp and the last smoldering ashes of the joint as you reached halfway through the notebook.

You breathed heavily through your nose, looking at Ellie seriously. "It's so late. We're not going to finish this tonight."

As she looked up at you, you suddenly noticed how much closer you two had moved over the course of the night. Had your thighs been touching the whole time? Has her breath always been so close it's hitting your cheek? Why did she have to smell so good?

Your own breath caught in your throat as she leaned even closer to you, placing a hand so close to your leg you could feel the fabric of her sweatshirt against her bare thigh. Almost imperceptibly, her gaze flickered down to your chest, now rapidly rising and falling.

"How set do you think I am for this stupid final?" Ellie asked seriously, a rasp in her voice either from smoke or the lowered pitch.

"You picked up on everything really well, so at least the first half I think you'll do fine."

She grabbed your left hand in both of hers, causing your breath to catch again. Her eyes flickered down again, this time lingering longer. Following her gaze, you noticed the top of your bra peeking out.

"Sorry," you said, quickly adjusting your shirt to cover it as heat spread through your body.

"No, no, you're fine. Sorry for looking," she said. You looked at her face, watching as her eyes seemed to trace the shape of your shoulders and the line of your throat.

The air thickened with tension, but you found yourself not wanting Ellie to leave yet. "So, why did you take this class anyways? If you didn't want to go?"

Finally, she met your eyes. "I need a chemistry for my major. Astronomy. I thought I would like this one, but didn't realize it was a fucking 8am when I signed up. By the time I realized I wasn't going to make it up that early it was too late to drop." She shrugged. "What about you? Big chemistry fan?"

You snorted. "Not really, but I also needed a chemistry for my major. I like the 8ams, it lets me have afternoons free to sleep. That's why I don't have a roommate--medical accommodations for fatigue or whatever." She nodded along, genuinely listening.

"Well, hopefully I don't have to retake this class. Next time there probably won't be a pretty girl willing to help me out."

You smiled at her, breathing sharply out of your nose in a laugh. "We'll see what we can do."

A beat of silence washed over you before Ellie pointed towards the pride flag on your wall with her chin. "So...are you..." She began, causing you to laugh full out this time.

"Yeah. Obviously, I'd hope, but if you're feminine people tend to assume otherwise I guess." You smiled and looked at her. "Are you?"

Ellie placed a hand on her chest. "I'm hurt you had to ask. I've been trying to flirt with you since I got your number, babe."

Oh.

"Oh."

She leaned back a little. "I can cut it out, if you want. I couldn't tell if you were into it or not."

Without giving her time to continue doubting, you sprung forward and attached your lips to hers. Threading your fingers in her hair and breathing in as you pulled back.

"So...you are into it?"

"I'm a little dense, Ellie. Don't let the color-coded notes fool you. But yes. Now that I know...I'm into it."

She smiled at you with one side of her mouth again, this time leaning forward to kiss you first. Lips opening slightly, you felt her body around yours as her hands found the bed and pushed you on to your back.

Ellie pushed her tongue gently into your mouth, settling between your legs as they fell open. As you felt her weight between your hips, you groaned a little.

Whining a little as she pulled away, your eyes fluttered shut as Ellie threaded her fingers through the hair by your ear. "Is this supposed to be my payment?" you asked, leaning into her touch.

"Shut up," she said playfully, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it was more forceful, teeth bumping against teeth as your tongues chased each other. Too focused on the overwhelming sensation of Ellie's mouth on your own, you broke the kiss to moan in surprise when you felt her knee push against your core.

Using the opportunity to trail her mouth down your cheek, to your jaw, to your neck, Ellie asked "is this okay, baby?" between kisses. You nodded before remembering she couldn't see you, instead responding with a slightly choked "yes."

In response, her lips attached right behind your ear as her teeth sunk into you and she began to suck. You groaned, bucking your hips against her knee. Kindly, she began to push it back into you, laughing into your neck as you continued whimpering.

"What?" you asked. "Why are you laughing?"

Ellie pulled away from the spot she had been working into your collarbone, meeting your eyes. "You're just so pretty. Can't believe I have you falling apart for me and I've barely touched you."

Your mouth fell open at her words, groaning. Ellie's mouth found yours again, her hands reaching for your tits over your shirt. "Can't blame me for looking at these," she said between kisses, "You look so good in this shirt."

"Take it off, then," you said. You sounded braver than you felt, your stomach doing absolute flips as the girl over you quickly complied to reveal your lacy nude bra.

"I like this," she said softly. "I want it off, though. Is that okay, pretty?" You nodded. The bra was nothing special--just comfy and the right color. If Ellie liked it, though, it was now one of your favorites.

Her mouth moved down your chin and neck to attach to your left nipple, bringing a hand to your opposite hip as she sucked and licked lightly. Your hips continued to buck against her knee, which was now stationary as you essentially rode her thigh.

Chuckling a little, Ellie looked up at you and began unbuttoning your shorts. "Knew you'd be needy. What kind of thoughts are you hiding from me?" she asked, pulling off your bottoms and panties in one go when you lifted your hips to help.

You smiled a little watching her eyes attach themselves to the spot between your legs. "What can I say?" you said. "Maybe I'm a little slutty if the right girl has me under her."

This seemed to light something in Ellie, who watched your face as she brought your face down to your pussy. Close enough to feel her breath, her eyes gleamed as she moved away from your hips chasing her.

"Please," you asked, voice breaking. "Please, Ellie."

"Guess you are a slut, huh? Begging for me already." Whatever response you had was cut off by a screaming moan as her mouth attached itself to you, immediately lapping at your clit before interspersing it with longer licks. Your legs shut around her face as your hands grabbed into her hair, pulling a little as you noticed the groan she made at the pressure.

"That feels so good, Ellie." Her motions sped up at this, and you hurriedly repeated the phrase as she focused more attention on your clit. Feeling everything tighten, you wrapped your ankles around her back as your hips lifted almost completely off the bed. Still attached to you, Ellie fully moaned as you pulled her hair and came over her face.

Whimpering softly as she pulled away, you audibly groaned when she looked up at you and wiped her chin with the back of her hand. "You did so good, baby. Do you have another one in you?"

You quickly nodded, feeling words escape you. All you wanted was for her to say you did good again.

Ellie leaned into you, placing her head into the crook of your neck as her fingers ghosted lightly over your hips, stomach, and thighs. Finally, you felt them dip into the pool of wet that had collected in your cunt. Spreading the mix of saliva, cum, and arousal up to your clit and around your hole, she slowly pushed a slender finger into you. Your back arched off the bed when she began pumping it in and out, chuckling against your neck.

"Such a pretty girl. You're doing so good," she whispered. Your moans grew louder at her words and she pushed another finger in. "Good girl," she breathed, kissing your neck and jaw as she worked into you.

"Ellie," you gasped. "Ellie, please."

"What, baby?"

"Please, Ellie, please. Wanna cum."

You felt her lips quirk up against your collarbone as she added a thumb to your clit and a curl to her fingers. Quicker than you'd ever been able to get there yourself, you felt the tightening of your gut. She swallowed your moans with a sloppy kiss, gently catching your bottom lip between her teeth before soothing it with her tongue. She used her other hand to hold on to your hair at the scalp as you writhed, second orgasm shuddering through your body.

"Good girl," she said as she worked you through it. Sitting up, she wiped her fingers on your thighs before moving up up to let you rest your head on her chest. "You did so good, baby. My smart, pretty, good girl."

You whimpered a little, not prepared to speak just yet. Ellie seemed to understand and didn't push you, holding you and playing with your hair until you leaned back to smile at her.

"That was good. Thank you," you told her, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of your sweat and pussy.

Ellie broke away, moving the hand wrapped around your waist to grab something out of your back pocket. She placed it on your bare chest, tucking it between your tits.

"What do I look like, a prostitute?" you asked. "Much love to them, but..."

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "I mean, you fuck like a professional, but this is for helping me study."

You grabbed the bill and pushed it back into her pocket. "Save it for next time. We need to finish that notebook if you want to actually pass this class."

Ellie kissed the top of your head. "How does tomorrow work?"

A/N this is basically a self insert...my bad. tried to make it as inclusive to different readers as possible. let me know if there's anything I can improve on!! <3

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching reading. Today's choice: 死亡万花筒 / Kaleidoscope of Death.

Kaleidoscope of Death is a 2018 Chinese webnovel about two young men who fall in love while basically playing a whole bunch of horror-themed escape rooms that can for-real kill you.

This novel was gripping. I could not put it down. It started out fun and ended up ripping out my heart several times. It does a good job getting the ball rolling with a series of adventures in weird worlds, then turns into a meditation about grief and loss and what it means to have something to lose in the first place.

This is the first time I've ever done a book rec! I'm doing it in conjunction with a rec post for the Spirealm, and originally I was just going to do this as a bonus section for that post. However, I felt they both deserve whole different posts, because they both have very different things to recommend them. I also think Kaleidoscope of Death a 100% necessary read if you've seen the show, because it provides some context that the show simply cannot include -- but it's not a necessary read before you see the show.

Therefore, I'm going to give you five reasons I think you should sit down with this one, and not a single one of these reasons is going to assume you've watched the Spirealm! The book is great and deserves to be read on its own merits, and then if you then start watching the drama afterwards, so much the better.

1. All the Cross-Dressing

(Yeah, I'm going to punctuate this one with screencaps from the Spirealm, because otherwise it's just a wall of text.)

I'm not going to tell you why the male characters frequently dress and pass as women, since the book explains the practicality of it better than I could. You just need to know that they often do, and it's never not kinda hot when it happens.

When you first meet Ruan Nanzhu, it is as Ruan Baijie, a stunningly beautiful and noticeably tall woman. Lin Qiushi, our POV character who is extremely confused for a number of reasons, spends the first whole arc talking and thinking about Baijie like she's a girl. In fact, one of the cutest things about sweet, earnest Qiushi is that he clocks Baijie several times, and every time he's just like, oh, she's so flat-chested, how unusual for a girl, anyway...

And this isn't even just dressing up! Stepping into the door worlds changes you physically based on your clothing and cosmetics. Nobody inside looks the same as they do outside, and nobody looks the same inside as they did last time they were inside. The rules that govern these transformations aren't even clear to the characters themselves! So, you know, have fun with that.

I'm going to say it's not an out-and-out trans thing, in that we're not dealing with an AMAB egg who will crack someday. Ruan Nanzhu is a very male-identified, penis-having man! He's just also pretty entertainingly comfortable with performing whatever gender makes him the most fuckable person in any given room. Lin Qiushi is not so inherently genderfluid, however, which means that when his gremlin sort-of-boyfriend makes him pretend to be a girl, it's a completely different kink.

Therefore: If you like it in any way when boys dress up like girls, you owe it to yourself to pick up this one. And if you like a fandom that likes it when boys dress up like girls, baby, welcome to the world inside the doors.

2. Those boys GAY

This is a textual romance. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu are in love. This is a danmei novel about how they fall in love. There is kissing and there are fade-to-black scenes that explicitly acknowledge that the two of them have sex with one another. We even know that Ruan Nanzhu (usually) tops. This s not just me pointing at them and saying gaaaaaaaaaay. This is actual gay.

And it is gay that takes its fucking time. They do not actually hook up until well over halfway through the book, but they are physically affectionate from almost the get-go. Ruan Nanzhu is such a trickster and a liar that Lin Quishi finds it hard to believe that anything he does is sincere, which leads to nearly lesbian levels of wondering if it means anything when a guy demands you kiss him on the mouth when he's pretending to be your girlfriend. Meanwhile, Ruan Nanzhu is over here being the Kate Beaton comic about sitting here consumed with lust all evening.

Even once they both acknowledge what they're feeling for one another, they don't get together right away. After all, they're playing a game of life and death where they lose friends left and right. Every time someone goes inside the door, there's a real chance they won't come out again. Is giving your heart to someone worth how much it will destroy your entire life when you lose them?

(Yes, says the book. Yes, it is worth it.)

The slow burn of their relationship is delicious, in part because the physical (though not sexual) aspects of it predate the romantic ones. It also has the fun hot-and-cold aspect where Ruan Nanzhu is incredibly affectionate inside the doors, then icy outside of them. Poor completely inexperienced, never-been-kissed Lin Qiushi does not know what to make of any of this. He can barely manage parenting a cat. He does not know how to handle a boyfriend who is also a girlfriend who is also (spiritually) a cat.

I also find it charming how much the gay part of it both is and isn't an issue. It's not that Lin Qiushi has a problem being in love with a man; however, the fact that Ruan Nanzhu is a man does mean the heteronormally indoctrinated and relationship-inexperienced Lin Qiushi takes much longer to realize what exactly those feelings he's having are. The book's world is one where heterosexuality is the assumed default, while queerness is unexpected but everybody's still pretty cool with it. Besides, no one's going to judge Lin Qiushi's gay yearnings, because who doesn't want to fuck Ruan Nanzhu?

3. HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA

So as I was reading through @zintranslations' earlier chapters, I kept seeing translators' notes down at the bottom about being so excited to finally get to the Hako Onna arc. Okay, I thought, this is a lot of hype; I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Friends, it does not. This is the arc I was reading while screaming into a pillow. It's thirteen chapters long, tied for the longest arc in the book with the first door. It is a fucking nail-biter. It does the clever thing of taking all the things you've learned about what can happen inside the doors and combining them for a worst-case scenario.

The setup is pretty simple: There's a bunch of boxes. One has the exit. Most are empty. Some have things that help you. Some have things that hurt you. The more things you find that hurt you, the more things there are to hurt you. And you have to open the boxes.

All the door arcs are pretty well-written, so that you can more or less play along with their various adventures. Hako Onna, however, is exceptional. It's so complicated, but you can actually follow it. And you need to be able to follow it, because the multiple emotional gut-punches that happen in this arc all depend on understanding how the rules of the game have just been leveraged to fuck someone over.

Now I really want to play the board game -- which I was pleased to discover is a real board game! And speaking of board games...

sidebar: Betrayal at House on the Hill

I know this isn't technically related to the novel at all, but if you like board games, horror, and being incredibly dramatic, you owe it to yourself to try out Betrayal at House on the Hill.

It goes like this: You and several other horror-movie archetypes wander through a mansion, "building" it as you explore it, so the game layout is different every time. At some point (and it's based on so many random factors that you never know when it'll be) someone triggers a condition, and the haunting begins. All the players then get the rules of haunting explained to them -- except for one player, the one picked to do the titular betrayal, who gets a different set of instructions and becomes the antagonist. From that point on, the game is about either surviving or completing the haunting, depending on which side you're on.

I have played this game before with normal board game people, and they were like, eh, this is fine. I have also played this game before with theatre kids who RP and LARP, and we all had a fucking blast. So I'm going to warn you that you have to choose your crowd carefully. This is a game for people who do improv and voices.

4. The art of losing isn't hard to master

The book has a high body count -- higher than the show's, in fact, though that's related to how the book also has more characters than the show does. When you meet someone who can go into the doors, be careful how much money you'd lay on their survival.

Death after the doors comes so quickly, too. There's barely any time to say goodbye, if there's even any time at all. Often there's just a phone call telling our main characters that one of their friends or allies or enemies is gone.

Everyone who gets the chance to go through the door worlds is only able to do so because they're dying already. The more doors they pass, the more they get to kick that death further down the road -- but the more doors they enter, the more chances they take that they might die inside one. So really, none of the players can be that resentful of being forced to play a game that can kill them, since they're already playing it on borrowed time.

I will say, somewhat cryptically, that the book has a positive ending that leaves open the possibility for other positive things. The path to that positive ending, though, leads through some pretty wrenching takes on living through grief. It's not even all rah-rah and it-gets-better, either -- the text acknowledges many times over what it means to have someone that life isn't worth living without.

And that's maybe not what you expected from a BL horror adventure webnovel, but it's what you're gonna get! Ha ha!

5. What He Is

Which is the title of the first extra chapter, which is not extra at all, but is in fact a necessary explanatory piece that whacks you upside the head like a two-by-four and recontextualizes the entire story.

...Yeah, that's all you're going to get from me about that. You'll understand when you get there.

Have you put it on your reading list yet?

The way you have to read it is a little convoluted: @zintranslations has chapters 1-17 and 63-end + extras. Taida Translations has chapters 1-62. So no matter where you start reading, you're going to have to switch sites at least once.

There are also apparently Portuguese, Indonesian, Russian, and Spanish translations too? And the original Chinese webnovel, of course. And some audio dramas and subs linked to from this Carrd, which helpfully has other information, like content warnings for specific chapters, in case the horror aspect of the story gives you pause.

Anyway, once you're done reading it -- or even before you're done! -- you should absolutely go watch the Spirealm. I think it's clear from both rec posts that I definitely like the book better, but I appreciate having the drama to bring so many scenes to life, and I think the casting is great. Also, I don't think reading the book makes you like the drama less! Rather, I think reading the book gives you insight into the awkward and sometimes terrible choices the drama had to make to survive -- which in turn gives you the ability to see through those choices, on to what the show always wanted in its heart to be.

I do find it funny how "Kaleidoscope of Death" and "Death's Kaleidoscope" technically mean the same thing, but they sure read different, don't they?

[melodic-haze]

heyy, may i request some natasha content? she's so underrated i swear 😩😩

☆ — SONG TITLE: Acts of service

☆ — PAIRINGS: Natasha x Reader

☆ — TYPE: Fluff, SFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: None

☆ — NOTES: No NSFW for this one cuz I've been doing a lotta that 🫶 hope you don't mind!!! Also idk what colour to give her :(

☆ — WORD COUNT: 1,609 words

Visiting Natasha became something of a routine for you. Despite everything that you did in the day, you never failed to visit the doctor—it was usually during the afternoon, around the time you had lunch, because then you asked her to have a bite with her every time, to which she always agreed to.

Half of the reason why was because you had wanted to spend time with Wildfire's true leader as.. well, not Wildfire's leader. You wanted to get to know Natasha, nobody else, at first.. but then it went from getting to know her to having each other's presence become something of a constant in both your lives, and then to something even more.

The other half of the reason, though, was because you were concerned.

She was the Underworld's best doctor, so naturally everyone relied on her. While she did have a massively good reputation, unfortunately that came at the cost of a decrease in the time for her to relax.

Such a thing was evident to see when it was moments like these—you had just stepped into her clinic and already you are witnessing the blue-gray-haired woman rush back and forth, patient to patient. After all, you had waited for.. what was essentially an hour before you decided to just stop waiting and to go to her yourself to see what was happening.

You had to take your time in actually approaching her, worried that you might somehow disturb her flow, and only actually decide to try to gain her attention when she seems to have slowed down.

Gently placing a hand on her shoulder, you softly called out to her, "Natasha?"

You hear her sigh the slightest bit, tired and weary, but when she turns her head and sees you she pushes herself upright on her desk as if startled. She quickly downplays her surprise with a laugh, however, "Oh! Dear, you gave me a quite a shock. What are you here for? Are you sick?"

"No, no," you shook your head, "I'm not on death's door or anything like that. Seems like you've got your hands full of the people that are, though."

She let out a small yet exhausted laugh, the lines on her eyes particularly evident today, "I suppose I am, aren't I? ..Though not to be hasty, and I do love to see you and your face, but if you aren't here to get treated, then is there another reason why you're here?"

The clinic was so particularly hectic today that she forgot.

"..Nat."

"Yes?"

"We were supposed to meet up a bit more than an hour ago."

You see her take her phone out of her pocket to check the time and--

"Oh."

Her eyes widen at the realisation before darting back to you with furrowed brows, "I hadn't realised... Were you waiting this whole time?"

You shrugged with a sheepish grin, "I didn't really want to leave in case you were just late. I see that you're really busy, though."

You see her sigh out and look at you apologetically, "Dear, you should've called me. I didn't mean to lose track--"

"Hey, no, I'm not mad or anything, don't worry about it." You reach for her hands to hold them tenderly as you got a little closer to her, "I can see that you're absolutely swamped with work, I get it. I wouldn't have signed myself up for dating you if I didn't accept it."

"Be that as it may, this is practically routine for the both of us."

"Yeah, but this is still your job." You gave her a light shrug and a reassuring smile, "Don't worry about it, yeah? We can just postphone it for when you go off the clock."

She huffs out gently with a small shake of her head, "A doctor never fully gets off the clock."

"Even when the Stellaron's gone?"

"Mhm. Not only that, but some of the others have caught an illness so we're short-staffed and I've been scrambling left and right. I'm afraid I had no time to think about anything else... Or, well," she draws a hand back from your grasp to cup your cheek with such a soft, affectionate look, "until you came along. Now I feel like I can't seem to think of--"

"Natasha?" The both of you turn to look at the nurse calling out to your lover, her touch on you breaking away at the disturbance, "Sorry to disturb you but, um, we need you here."

Natasha fully lets go of you now, easily getting herself back into work mode, "He's woken up?" And when the nurse nods, she answers swiftly, "Alright. I'll be there in a second."

Then she turns back to you, work mode off for a brief moment. While her affectionate look is still there, you could easily see how much today's exhaustion's getting to her, "I'm sorry that I'll have to leave you like this. I don't think I really have time to spare so.. I'll meet you when I'm done?"

"Mm." You briefly go to squeeze her hand and press a quick peck on her cheek, "Good luck with work, yeah? I'll be waiting."

She nods, and then she turns to make a beeline over to the waiting patient, leaving you alone in the middle of the clinic. You supposed that you should probably go so you make your way over to the door...

But when you put a hand on the doorknob, suddenly you're hit with a revelation.

You rush back over to her (the desk she owns, specifically) and wait for until she's finished with her current charge. It takes a while, but eventually she turns to walk over to said desk, to which she sees you and makes a confused yet amused expression, "I don't believe I'm off the clock yet, darling. Anything you need?"

"No, actually." You shook your head at her, "On the contrary, I think I have a little solution to your problem."

She crossed her arms as she hummed in curiosity, "Hmm? And whatever may that be?"

"I can help. Like, as some sort of assistant."

"..Go on."

"I know I'm not necessarily trained to be a doctor like you, or a nurse, or anyone in the professional health field, but I can do the other stuff like book-keeping and supply pick-ups. And maybe fetching stuff for you," you shrugged, "but I can't promise that I'll know what they look like."

You had expected her to accept the help—you have to use whatever resource you have in the Underworld, even when the passage between here and the overworld has been opened up. However, instead you see her shaking her head with slightly furrowed brows, "I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"I can't ask that of you. I wouldn't want you to sacrifice your day to help me with my job..." She looks to the side, pensive, "And I'm afraid I can't pay you either; I don't want to monopolise you just because we share a close bond.

You waved off her concerns, "Don't worry about that. One, I already get paid by spending time with you. And two, you're not monopolising anything—I'm offering to help. So let me?"

She looks at you, looks back towards the patients behind her, and then looks back at you again, her face showing clear contemplation. She's silent for a while and the lack of an answer plays with your nerves, but she eventually gives you a small, teasing smile, "It will probably take up the entire rest of your day. Are you sure you can hold out for that long here?"

"Ah, but you underestimate me—I can do anything when you're with me."

She laughs, and it's the most beautiful sight you've ever witnessed, "We'll have to see, won't we?"

You both get straight into work after that; Natasha tends to the patients with the other nurses as you dutifully do exactly as you said, taking care of most of the documentations and fetching the needed supplies for her and everyone else (without touching the chemicals in case you mess something up, of course). The amount of work was, quite frankly, insane for such a small clinic but you supposed that all places had their busiest days, medical locations included.

It was tough, and it sure as hell was exhausting, but eventually you pulled through the day and finally you were off the clock. You left a little earlier per your girlfriend's request, waiting outside for her to come out instead. And once she walks out the door, you two walk back home in companiable silence.

It's only when you reach your house when she speaks up, guilt tinging her tone, "I'm sorry we didn't end up having lunch as per usual, dear."

"I told you so many times, Nat, I seriously don't mind. I wanted to help!"

"Not that I'm ungrateful, and I know you offered, but are you sure you were okay to help? Treating people and helping them recover is something I love to do, but you could have done something else."

"I could have," you paused in your steps, opting Natasha go do the same. "But I wanna spend more time with you. Plus, hospital intern dates aren't exactly the worst dates ever."

She laughs again, and you can't get enough of it, "I suppose it isn't. Now come," she nudges her head towards your house's direction, "I'll make up for the whole of today, starting with a delightful meal. Care to join me, Y/N?"

Yes. Yes, you'd very much like to.

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[saucerfulofsins]

Same anon as before, and wow, you really get it.

And I know we can’t really say for certain what he was meaning in those interviews…he seemed pretty scattered, and maybe he was coming off a certain way and we’re just reading it wrong. But I really don’t think so.

Judging from the stuff people found from his older social media days, he seems like a pretty misogynistic guy, and that typically goes hand in hand with being homophobic and a bigot. That’s just a fact.

I think it’s shitty for him to take a job playing a character that he in his real life would most likely want nothing to do with, but I guess if the money is right someone like that will do whatever.

My husband clocked it immediately and said, “oh this man is way too much of an asshole to play a gay man, he’s hating this.” And I was like, so you see it too??? I guess it wasn’t just my Buddie obsessed brain running into overdrive.

I think it’s a shame because Oliver clearly put so much care into playing a bi character and that meant so much to me as a bi person. Oliver did everything perfectly and is so sweet and gentle about it, and he got stuck with such a creep to do his scenes with. I just hope it’s over soon.

Yeah, so... like I said in the tags on my previous response, I know a lot of guys who aren't homophobic. Like, "will kiss other guys for fun" and "are open to the possibility of being attracted to/falling in love with a man" not-homophobic. (Also, these men are distinct from bicurious because they know they aren't into men).

And LFJ's interview read as the opposite. You know how sometimes people with no knowledge still sound like they're at least accepting, in their own way? This sounds like someone with minimal knowledge trying to pass as accepting. And he's failing.

Even if things are coming off wrong, I think it's pretty egregious that someone who is a professional actor doesn't interview well at all, as well as nobody who wants him portrayed positively stopping the release of this interview. I don't think ABC needs him to be a shining light of representation (I don't think they WANT him to be at this point, the interview matches the vibes in the deleted scene), but his agency not taking measures here is fucking weird.

But yeah. It's the while package isn't it? The egocentrism, the focus on masculine masculinity and being cool, the misogyny he doesn't even CLOCK (sorry but why did Hen have to prove herself BECAUSE shes a woman?), the whole "lgbt spectrum" thing (huerk red flag), the trump support, racism etc etc on top of the uhh nepo baby vibes all of which just fucking send me. So much of this ISNT difficult!

And like yeah, actually Oliver is the opposite end of the... for lack of a better word, spectrum. He uses the word bisexual! He's doing this with a very clear intention, he's very open about Buck, and I'll be honest, I find it VERY refreshing. I know some younger actors (late teens/early 20s) have been cool about queerness, but having someone my actual age have these takes is... very healing, I won't lie. Because there definitely is a big difference in those 10 years and how we grew up?

But yeah, I can't imagine Tommy staying on the show. The fact he was meant to stay for 4 is kinda telling to begin with, and I personally wouldn't be surprised if they leaned into LFJ's creep vibes to aid Tommy's characterization. That's interesting because LFJ doesn't seem to realize any of that which... very telling! Very limited!! Tommy and Buck aren't very close, but for me, his absence during Chim's bachelor party is VERY telling. There's no reason Tommy had to leave, from a writer's perspective. That emergency was fake. It wouldn't have taken much of LFJ's time to be at those shoots, especially considering he was there for some of it anyway. And the party was important to Buck!!!! (Eddie looked so bitchy! The Buddie couple costume to hammer their pairing home! Etc).

So yeah. I fully believe it will be over soon, because there's just nothing there and besides LFJ and a handful of fans, I haven't seen any full support for the pairing... least of all from the show. He's as flat as flat characters come, a complete stereotype, and that for a show that rests predominantly on its characters! It's pretty damning, actually.

I guess what I'm hoping for is Tommy showing up a couple more times, Buck realising Tommy's hella toxic AND recognising his own patterns, breaking up with him, and figuring out not just what bisexuality really means to him but also the kind of relationship BUCK wants (versus someone else prompting Buck/falling for ONE aspect of him and never seeing the rest). He deserves that much, above everything else, and I don't think Tommy is leaving ANY room for that (possibly the least of all his relationships) .

[charmwasjess]

6, 13 and 18 (Dooku) for the fandom ask, please :D

6) Show us a bit of a WIP!

:D You get the Sifo + Dooku + Time Travel Piece that I'm "definitely" "not" "writing." Some Asajj + 20 year old Dooku team-up nobody asked for. Especially not Asajj. -

Asajj studied him again, more appraisingly this time. He did look disconcertingly familiar.

Did Dooku have an heir that she’d never heard about? She’d clocked the boy as younger, what with all his naivete and whining, but now that she really looked at him… Nineteen? Maybe twenty years old? The age lined up disconcertingly well with Dooku’s first days as Count. A hereditary title, after all, passed from father to son. The idea of Dooku reproducing was nauseating, of course, though it was at least a little funny to imagine the former Jedi’s face upon being informed that House Serenno required his “gift” to ensure the bloodline’s survival.

But no. Why would House Serenno surrender an heir to the Jedi? She didn’t need to see the long braid to recognize that this was clearly one of their Padawan Learners; he reeked of a sheltered Temple upbringing. She could practically smell the refectory milk on his breath.

“Why do you want to be the one to kill Count Dooku so badly, anyway?” she asked, instead.

“He killed my best friend!” His voice broke on the word best, but his fury streaked, vibrant as a comet in the Force.

Asajj almost choked on her laugh. It was so melodramatic. Cliche. Like a line from an overwrought holonovel, spinning out in predictable plot hooks before her eyes. This Jedi child was pathetic. She ought to get them into space and send him to look for Dooku out the airlock. It seemed like it would save her and the Jedi both a lot of trouble.

She thought of her sisters.

Vengeance. Thick and sweet and tangy, like spoiled cream clinging to her tongue. It belonged to her, but no less to the others whose lives Dooku had crushed out for no better reason than because he could. She was here to glut on the Count’s blood. Who was she to deny this hungry child his own right to the feast? Dooku made a big corpse. There was plenty for all.

“Do you know how to sit down and shut up?” Asajj turned briskly to the ship controls. They had already wasted too much time.

“Yes.” A lie. She could tell that without even looking at him.

“Yes, what?” She prompted, glancing back. Maybe she just wanted to hear him try to call her “my lady” in that ridiculous, overformal Coruscanti accent of his.

He swallowed audibly, clearly uncertain. He glanced again at the twin lightsabers at her waist and seemed to decide. “Yes, Master.”

Asajj couldn't help the small, startled laugh that broke from her chest. That hadn’t been what she was expecting. No one had ever called her that. She felt surprised at the strength of her own reaction. Perhaps this would actually be amusing. At least, for a little while.

“What is your name?”

“My name?”

Asajj rolled her eyes. “You have a name? Or should I just refer to you as ‘idiot’?”

She watched his hesitation, saw those big, guileless brown eyes drift and refocus. Black fucking stars, he lied artlessly, like a child.

“Sifo-Dyas. My name is Sifo-Dyas.”

13)What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?

I know I went backwards here writing the most unknown/unpopular character in the series with Sifo-Dyas to the most popular, but I'd really like to spend a little bit more time with Obi-Wan. He's got a large role in the next chapter of Twelves Months to Murder Count Dooku and I'm really excited. I really like the character. Kenobi changed something for me about him.

18) Type [charater]'s name and tell us what the autocomplete suggests as the next word

Lolol. "Dooku FOUGHT." "Dooku only" and "Dooku Nu" were other suggestions. Yeah, that really says it all. No notes, google.

[jaays-moon]

ghostbusters👻☎

heeseung x reader (afab) genre: friends to lovers, conducting a seance, spooOooky, friends having fun!! synopsis: what is better than a sleepover after the dreadful exams? a game of calling ghosts at a sleepover! where y/n and her friends play the game of seance with candles. word count: 2.6K 🖤🖤 DISCLAIMER‼️ i do not intend make fun of the practice or anyone who believes in such things. this story is purely for entertainment. continue reading....༉‧₊˚🕯️🖤❀༉‧₊˚.

"dude we are still having the sleepover right?" hearing heeseung's voice over the phone was just the moral boost i needed to protect myself from the eventual bed rot.

"yeah... we do, don't we..." however, nothing could stop me from the self-loathing that ensued after our exam results were published.

"y/n are you still sad about your grades? dude... you literally topped the class. so what jay beat you to rank 1, you know that nerdball is always trying to one up you."

ha...was it that evident in my voice "no, haha no its... ugh you know what, yeah i am upset. LIKE HE LITERALLY TOLD ME HE DIDN'T DO WELL IN PHYSICS, BUT THAT HOE??? this is why i hate toppers."

"oh? is it so?"

JAY??? what- omg did hee just put me on a three way call??

"HEE?" what is this guy doing. gosh way to go. he sure does know how to put me on the spot!

"no bestie it is I. the topper. you know you should actually let me know how crude your true intent is. and here i thought you were a friend."

"oh well good cause i can't be friends with LIARS! i wasn't the one who pretended to not know about the exam and then proceed to get an A! that is actually being an asshole. also that you never told me about getting tutored by jake."

"wait what you were getting tutored by jake? is this how you steal peoples friends jay?"

"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T? THAT LIL SHIT HAS BEEN TELLING EVERYONE THAT? JAKE-"

*the line cuts and the doorbell rings*

who could that be?

"hee?" "yes? who else? its time for the sleepover girl?"

"its 7 o' clock in the evening heeseung, who comes this early anyways-" i mean how does it even matter to scold him cause either ways, he barges into the house.

"well technically i do live here. its like my second home. do you need to take permission to enter your own house love?" of course. the only reason why i am friends with hee. he is unapologetically himself. it puts me at ease to have a person who thinks of me so dearly. or thinks of my home so dearly...

"ok fyi i also sent the invite in the gc"

"oh i know, jay is on the way with jake, maybe after he beats him up tho."

i chuckle at the thought of those two bickering. obviously jake hadn't told me anything about tutoring. it was just fun to watch them bicker after all! "and for you, i also invited leah over." a wicked grin decorates my face as i watch hee's jaw drop and eyes go wide in horror.

"Y/N??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what? why? how could you do this to me? YOU ARE VERY AWARE OF HOW CLINGY SHE IS WITH ME. she is like obsessed with me or something! please no y/n. i am so sorry!! Y/N"

"hee be nice! she is my friend! and everyone has tiny crushes. she just likes you a bit. as the good friend that i am, i am just helping her out! she also has something planned for the night. she was recommending some game? i don't know."

*bell rings*

"i guess that must be the two actual friends of mine. the ones who TRULY care for me!" i chuckle as i approach the door.

however nobody stands as i open the door. i look outside to check my surroundings but it is as quiet as a night full of mysteries could be. the sudden noise of thunder fills the ambience as it starts pouring heavily. i shriek as i run back into the house, locking the door. "hee...?" i look over the kitchen counter, the sofa, and knock on the bathroom doors he doesn't respond. "ugh where did this kid go? hee, hees- AHHHHHH!

something black just covers my eyes from the back as a scream for my life. "geez, if you didn't know how to defend yourself, you sure can make a serial killer go deaf. you know you should audition for those roles of screamers in the slasher thrillers."

"HEESEUNG! NOT FUNNY. I WAS SO SCARED!" "aww pookie was scared" "ew-" but his warm hug makes up for it. as the cold from the rain starts creeping into the room, heeseung offers me his jacket.

"what about you?" "don't worry. you will be warm and smell nice in it." he adds on with a wink. this guy. my laughs cover how blown out my pupils look. it isn't fair. how he gets to have this effect on me. i mean we are friends but moments like these, make me question otherwise. why can't i reciprocate the flirtations? why am i defeated dumb by this gorgeous guy?

"ok leah justed texted me. jay is picking her up" "you text leah?" "sometimes, when i think my charm is wearing off." "you are such an asshole! i am going to tell her." "no you won't." "and why is that?" "cause you care about me. cause, you like me." a grin of victory. i wave my hand to dismiss the words thrown out in air. is it that simple for him?

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

our boisterous laugh fills my apartment. if it weren't for these people i genuinely wouldn't make it through college. but as we talk, as we laugh, heeseung keeps falling all over me.

"HEESEUNG WHY DO YOU HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF IJBOLITIS YOU WILL SQUISH Y/N." jay's boisterous accusation fills the room when jake ends up becoming a water fountain spitting out the cola he was drinking. "omg y'all!! now i need to get tissues" shaking my head isn't enough for the amount of chaos these people cause.

was i saying something about them saving me throughout college? never mind that, it is in direct proportion to the headache they give me. stealing glance from hee i move towards the kitchen "y/n could you also get...um..five! yes five candles!" "candles? for what leah?" "remember?! i told you we have to play a game. i mean we are done watching a movie. it is raining outside. IT IS 3 AM! this is the perfect time to have a seance!" "ah what now?"

"a seance jake. wouldn't have expected you to know however." "please do explain jAy. wHat is a sEanCe"

"well you see in ancient times-"

"it is a ghost calling game!"

"it is NOT a game leahhh." wow... i have never seen jay pout?

"wellllllll none of us are mediums."

"what would you know baby i could be a medium?"

"BABY??" "BABY?" "you both-"

"what y/n? as if you aren't hiding something?! *giggling* you and hee... aren't you also dating? you may not tell your dear friend-"

"what? no no you have it wrong leah. y/n and i. i would never date her. we can never date. we are friends. right y/n? y/n-"

i rush to the kitchen as soon as possible. i have nothing to do with that conversation. i should have known. it was just heeseung being heeseung. he is just nice to everyone. it shouldn't mean anything that the way he looks at me is any different. it was just my perception. it was my fault i thought that heeseung could love me any more than a friend. it should have been me who answered that. of course. like he said we could never date. why would he date me. why would i date him. why am i hurt-

"y/n? why did you leave like that?"

as i feel my throat burning at the familiar sound. my eyes are about to spill the truth. "didn't leah ask to get the candles though? why are you worried." as i shove past him in my annoyance which almost turned into guilt. reaching up to open the cabinet heeseung comes closer, hovering over me to reach the matchbox. "y/n" oh i know that timbre of his voice. the low, soothing tone, prying to know if i am hurt. i am not. definitely. "what?" "i am supposed to ask you that. i know you have something on your mind. i mean i know you were trying to set me up with your friend-" oh. he wasn't even thinking about me. good lord. this is pathetic. i am pathetic. "no i wasn't worried about that. matter of fact i wasn't worried at all. first you three way call jay to "prank" me. and now you think i am unlovable. pick a side lee heeseung. do you even care or not."

"woah. government name... if i didn't know you better, i would say you are mad right now." "that is the point heeseung. you don't. know. me." "baby-" "DO NOT CALL ME THAT!" as i push him back to the kitchen island i feel his round eyes on me filled with concern and guilt. i am unable to pull him back before he bumps into the glass as it shatters to the floor.

"ayo? what happened-" jake's concerned voice broke both of us from the intense glare we shared.

"DID THE GLASS JUST BREAK? LEAH BABY! ISN'T THIS A BAD OMEN. WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS!" "jay.... baby relax it didn't fall on it's own."

"ew, get a room." leah rolls her eyes as she speaks "i guess heeseung bumped into it. right?" "yeah. that is exactly what happened."

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

"so that is basically it. we hold each other's hands and ask if any spirit is out there who wants to contact us. and i know how hard it is for us to remain silent, calm and composed we HAVE to. the candles will flicker and we can then start asking questions! only ask yes or no questions. also, no questions about death, money or future! ok y/n babe light the candles in the center please!!"

as leah instructs all of us we get into position. i immediately scurried next to leah's side and held her hand as we all sat down. i could sense heeseung's intense stare on me but for the sake of my sanity, i choose to ignore him like all my problems in life. didn't know he would someday fall on that list. am i being dramatic? maybe. i am just a girl! 🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎀

"wow that is cool and everything but, sorry y/n i don't want to hold sweaty ass palms?" "excuse ME-" "i said what i said!" jake dashes of to sit next to jay who was happily seated next to his gf. this jake had one job. heeseung awkwardly shifts to sit next to me. my hands go cold with the tight feeling in the pit of my stomach. i try to be extremely nonchalant about it. but in the shuffle i almost skid on the stupid floor which makes him snort. i look up to squint at him but it elicits only a response of a smirk from him. oh.

"oh also if the candle assigned to each of us flickers then it is a yes and if all the candles remain still. well, a no." "aw babeee you are learning so well!" "the best is teaching me" as jay shoots a wink at his partner we all physically groan with jake audibly gagging. well this is going to be fun...

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

as the rounds went by the questions became stupider. you would think that all of us had a collective braincell count of negative 5.

"am I the smartest in this group"

" *cough* nO *cough* "

"shut up jake!"

"whaaaat it wasn't me :("

this is what i missed the most, laughing, having fun with your friends. i also long back started to feel at ease with hee's warm hands melting into mine. i had gone overboard with my feelings and it wasn't fair to hee or me... i just had made assumptions. i wished to clear the air. as my other friends continued to bicker i turned towards hee.

"hee...i am sorry for pushing you earlier. i just... it did sting when you said you would NEVER date me. i mean i am not that bad of a person am i" i laugh trying to cover the underlying connotations of my ask. " *chuckles* im sorry y/n. it was actually on me that i assumed you would be averse to dating ME. i mean who would want to date their friends, right?" his response caught me off guard so did his tone. he ended the question with some unsaid hope. i tried to decipher what he meant while trying to study his eyes. his eyes were locked into mine the similar way. trying to uncover the surface and delve deeper.

"i guess there are two other love birds here!" leah's voice broke us from a trance like state. " ahha leah. so its my turn? ok i would like to ask whether i will be rich- "HEE DO YOU WANT TO DIE LEAH JUST SAID NO QUESTIONS ABOUT MONEY!!!" " well...if it means it will be in your arms-"

"ohh my godddddd"

"i think i just barfed in my mouth-"

"YOU are actually the perpetrator of such CRIME!"

"EXCUSE ME-"

no amount of eye rolls can save the redness that creeps into my face. this guy- but this time i try to play along. "well why are you trying to be like romeo-juliet, when we can be hee-y/n alive and happy." i add on a wink feeling extra feisty.

the silence which fills the room could be cut through with a knife. i was about to back track when hee's jaw dropped like never before and a howling laughter ensued.

"oh heeseung she DEVOURED YOU SO BAD!!"

"damn y/n should flirt more often!!"

hee was just as dumbfounded as i was at my response.

"oh yeah? are you sure y/n. don't make promises you can't keep." his voice dropped to a soothing volume. his head tilted with the slightest smolder in his eyes. not to overpowering. just enough to hypnotize, mesmerize. as he turned towards the the candle circle his voice become bold and clear.

"dear spirit just y/n like me?" is he for real!!?? did he just ask that in front of... at that moment it felt as all the air in the room had left. a chill ran through my spine. i could see my friends start to feel uneasy as it seemed something, or someBODY else had joined our little gathering. i could see leah's face drop as she held my hand's tighter than usual. even jake and jay feel completely silent with the ambience in the air which dropped the temperature.

" ok... um so heeseung your candle isn't flickering-"

"but baby look... y/n's candle is flickering."

it felt like time had stopped. the room felt eerily filled with various other auras. feeling intensified. the tension was rising. as if as an instinct i held onto hee's hand tighter than before. from my periphery i noticed him glance towards me. he reciprocated.

"ok that is enough, thank you spirit for joining us." leah broke the tension as she blew out the candles and all of us sighed. as if everyone was holding their breathe expecting the worse.

all of us looked at each other. "ok... well the spirit didn't have to expose me like that..." everyone started giggling. this experience was something else.

"so you do like me?"

"well we all knew that before you two idiots knew."

"for once I agree with jake. you both are so blind, imagine, a LITERAL SPIRIT had to come and expose y'all."

"wellll THIS WAS FUN. and, i beg you y/n. NEVER second guess MY intuition. mwah mwah. you both are soooo adorbs!!"

and all i and hee could do in laugh and fall in for each other all over again.

omg this was long af😭😭 i had so many doubts and second thoughts with this buttttt, i hope you like it‼️‼️ please do show support and love by reblogging🖤and sending in asks in the mailbox💌thank you ‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚🎧⊹♡

[voidedbattery]

Iron and Smoke

@rvbrarepairweekdos

I GOTTA GET MY CHARON STUFF IN!!!!!!!

By the way, see this post if you haven't read it yet. It has notes that you need to know when you continue to read this post.

This post has MAJOR focuses on the Sleeveless Insurrectionist and The Demoman (both of which refer to the characters in RvB).

+ POLL

also check image alts if you don't know what nonsense I drew today 🔥

This is one of the only two days where I'm gonna post about. Why? Here are my excuses:

Right, so let's get into it.

The Appetizer

Caboose x Reader

Once I looked up a fanfiction with this exact tag. I was curious, so I was wondering if there was something wholesome. And it was! I read a fanfiction on AO3 (i don't know where it is but it's like one of five) where you and Caboose decorate a cool banner and annoy everyone on base with it. How fun! Definitely the caboose of all time.

Also like... You're supposed to make ship thingies for other people on this date so here's that. I'm also gonna use the wheel too and

The Wheel

where is it

OH MY GOSH LOOK THERE'S MORE STUFF!! WOW!!!

anyways i found it after five mouse scrolls

GONNA SPIN!!

ah yes. a main character and a main character <3< <#,,333,3#<####3,3,3,3,,3,3.....

when i got a Starburst yesterday, it was orange and pink

is this

is this foreshadowing or what

yeah i still can't draw properly but i can make it obvious enough to make a couple people that i know to go crazy

i have like 7 of these drawings but they're not about halo at all so i doubt you'd be interested

but if you do, let me know!

Main Course

I'm going to expand off of this post.

In short, Ch6/Dax's arm is just as large as Ch4/Marcus' if you take the bandolier off.

Here's where the "deeper diving" begins!

Team Crimson

Who Marcus (Ch4) and Dax (Ch6) belong to

Initially started as three people

Marcus is one of those three

They advertise very lightly because of the attention they don't want to bring up, so they use posters

But it happens anyway when Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch6 are KIA while Ch1 goes MIA

The above is referred to as the Longshore Massacre to some groups (this fact is mainly for a specific AU; lmk if you want in on this)

The wiki says that they resemble Noble Team so I'm headcanonizing that

The team plays rough with each other but can remain professional in specific environments

Occasionally give out cinnamon treats to little ones who pass by

You probably won't survive a road trip with them if it takes enough time for you to get hungry for food

They were hired exactly four times before Longshore

One of those times was because a few friends were bored

Marcus

If you want to talk with him about something, it's best to do it alone

He's a completely different person when the team's assembled

Probably has a really big dog that lives at his house

Lives in an apartment but sleeps over at his cousin's about 30% of the time

Has a mutation which is probably the reason why having no sleeves hasn't killed him for his six years as an ODST

Started going sleeveless by pure accident due to an alarm clock failure, so it was really four years without sleeves

Marcus just kept going as soon as people were all over him

"What's your workout routine? BROOO those shoulders" they'd ask

Would only hug his S/O for over 20 seconds

Anything other than that would go to anybody who genuinely asked for a hug

Once made $872.36 from arm wrestling bets at one of Earth's major spaceports

He's the one who gives out the cinnamon treats

Chain Twins

Would give out raw cinnamon powder

Yes, I included the twins specifically to say that they'd give out raw cinnamon

They enjoy really obscure fandoms

One of them probably likes history a lot, but nobody really knows about it because of the fact that the textbooks are hidden in his/her backpack the whole time

Dax

Emailed the leader about joining Team Crimson just solely to work with whoever was on the poster that he saw two months ago

Actually jumped so much that he put a dent in the floor when he met Marcus in person

I saw a post that said that Ch6 would be Simmons but 20% cooler and I'm making that canon

Either that or he's the Rookie if he grew up in a crowded neighborhood

Was born in New York City (or something similar if Dax wasn't Earth-native)

Eats really small burgers for some reason

You'd know when you go to a restaurant and he starts complaining about the size of the Junior burgers

Forgets to take post-workout supplements but still looks like one of those people who'd miraculously save you from a car wreck

I think he teaches the other workers in the Charon Industries company how to drive a truck or something

His party trick is taking the square of double digit numbers

Someone said this on an Amino post but Dax is really formal after his arm gets blown off

THE Main Course

(and not the 50 plates of appetizers that already filled your stomach for the next two meals)

Iron and Smoke

Iron, because Marcus goes to the gym really often

Smoke, because that's what explosions do

I would've used another element for "smoke" but I can't tell which one makes explosions

Uranium? No, that sounds too techy-

wait... what IF Dax was a techy sciency person?

probably not. Dax would need to spend less time at the gym so he can study

The actual relationship between Marcus and Dax

I don't think they've "done it" at all even though a lot of people joke about it

They do helmet bops every day. They do it every day somehow. Even if nobody's looking, they do it. Even if it's 12 AM, they do it.

Marcus is the dominant person in this relationship (battery why are you mentioning this)

Marcus and Dax share a shockingly similar physique. If they wore the exact same armor, then you couldn't tell who was who until one of their faces was shown to you.

Because they're ODSTs they don't focus much on social media.

If you followed them, their posts would be VERY outdated in terms of trendiness, and the posts would actually be its own thing rather than something else (marcus and dax actually focus on things like legs and forearms instead of jugs of creatine)

(this totally isn't to cope with my social media experience)

The two have been together for about 15 months up until the events of Longshore.

If they survived long enough to retire (Charon's actually given them enough money to retire at 30 and somehow live a really good life), Dax would probably try to build something cool at home. Marcus would watch and help with something heavy.

One time, someone made a statue for the two of them about a month before Longshore. It sits in a museum somewhere, and nobody (other than the sculptor) will find it until 2554.

Marcus will back up Dax in an argument.

Dax will listen to Marcus talk about his gains for a full hour.

sharkface has blackmail

Dessert

Marcus is the one with the red helmet by the way

In an alternate timeline Marcus goes scuba diving and argues with a... thing

But instead of burping he accidentally "scares it too much"

Happy November guys! Let me know if you want to see more...

[nomoreusername]

Lily Of The Valley (Part 2)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary: Despite trying to sleep, Aris suggests something that sticks inside your head.

Waking up, I stretched my limbs as I climbed down the ladder to see Aris still fast asleep. It was decided the second we found this place that the bottom bunk was his. The alternative was him having to struggle just a little more for essentially no reason, and I'd prefer it if life could be just a little easier on him after all he had gone through, all that we all had gone through.

Still, we were alive to go through it. I just need to remind myself that sometimes.

Watching him for a moment, I listened as his breathing remained even while he was still in a deep rest. Glancing at the clock I saw that it was around eleven. While that's later than usual we had been up for a few extra hours last night. Besides, we weren't exactly in a hurry to get somewhere.

Heading to the food boxes, I pulled out the one labeled snacks and dug through it until I settled on canned pears and peaches. Grabbing a red sharpie, I crossed out the eighty for the new number.

Grabbing a pocket knife, I got my peaches open the old fashioned way so that I wouldn't wake him. Scratching at the metal, I dug my tool into the lid and fought with my meal. Refusing to bend to its will, I kept slicing at the edges, only to get measly dents. Scowling at the can like it wasn't saving my life, I stabbed the middle of it.

Apparently, my frustration was exactly what I needed as it went right through. Getting up, I grabbed a fork from the drawer before placing my knife back under the hole. Opening it, I resisted the urge to bash it against the counter as I tried again.

Eventually, after plenty of struggle and muscle aches, it was good enough. Now that I knew how to do it I started the process over with the pears, nearly slicing myself open. Still, after debating quitting I settled for the bare minimum again as I put a fork inside the hole and tip toed back to the bunks. Taking a seat at the end of his bed, I set the pears on the ground as I ate my snack.

Barely a second later I heard loud cursing as the sheets rustled. Looking at him, I saw Aris giving me a halfhearted look of irritation.

“There are easier ways of giving someone a heart attack, but that would probably work well,”He said, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

“It's not my fault you wake up like I’m throwing you in a river. Besides, I got you food to make up for it,”I shrugged, grabbing his snack with one hand and giving it to him. Now sitting criss-cross applesauce like I was, he thanked me before looking at me funny.

“Why does the can look like it was mauled by a bear?”

“I didn't want to wake you up from the can opener,”I explained.

“No. You’d rather watch me sleep.”

“Don't flatter yourself. I like watching you dramatically wake up,”I corrected.

“It is not dramatic. You are literally just sitting there, staring me down.”

“Actually, I was focused on the peaches,”I corrected yet again.

“Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself,”He drew out, giving me a teasing grin before eating his meal. Sitting there in silence, I looked at my food, glancing up at him everyday now and then, occasionally meeting his gaze before he looked away.

“Hey Y/N,”He whispered, his tone completely different in a way that I couldn't quite explain.

“Yeah? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It's just that,”He trailed off, swirling his fork around the can as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“It's just what?”

“It's just, do you ever think about the world?”

“About seeing it?”I asked quickly. He just gave me a hesitant nod as he kept fidgeting with his food.

“I think about it, but I have no real interest in leaving this place. It's just a wasteland out there,”I pointed out, looking at the way his face dropped. “Are you thinking of leaving this place?”

“Kind of. It's just that I re-read this book, and it was about two people exploring places nobody was brave enough to go. I just remember thinking that that could be you and I. So what if it was? What if we left?”

“Where would we go?”I asked, putting my empty can down before moving closer.

“I don't know, but I think that it would be worth it.”

“We’d at least need a goal,”I responded, entertaining the idea.

“I have one.”

“Of course you do,”I sighed.

“I want to find a Lily Of The Valley.”

“A what?”

“A Lily Of The Valley. It's this beautiful flower that represents hope and good luck while also containing toxins. Can you imagine seeing something good yet dangerous? Can you imagine getting to be near something like that?”

“The world is dead. Plants aren't growing anywhere,”I reminded him.

“But what if they are? We’ve been stuck her for years. Maybe things have gotten better. Maybe it's changed, but we'll never know unless we look for it.”

“And if the Double T’s don't want to go?”

“They might,”He shrugged. “But as long as I have you everything will be okay,”He added, reaching for my hand. Taking it, I looked at him as I thought about it. Truly thought about it.

Everything was against us in this plan. How little we know, how little we’ll be able to bring, Cranks, weather, the fact that we hadn't left this place in years, and his-

“Stop,”He said firmly, giving my hand a squeeze. Bringing my eyes back up to his face, he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Don't worry about that. Just think about everything else. We could finally leave this place. We could see what's up there.”

“Aris.”

“Y/N, we don't have to be our own prisoners. We’ve done that our entire lives.”

“It's also why we're alive,”I reminded him.

“But we aren't. We’re surviving, but I want to do more. Don't you?”He pleaded.

“If living means dying, is it worth it?”I pointed out.

“You really don't want to go, do you?”

“No. I don't.”

“Oh,”He muttered, letting go of my hand and putting them in his lap. Looking away, he fiddled with his fingers as we sat in heavy silence.

“I’m going to go check on the inventory,”I said, doing anything to break it. He just gave me a nod as I got up. Not looking back, I walked behind the metal shelves and leaned down. Pulling a box out, I just stared at it for a while as I thought about what he said. Then, I remembered just what happened last time we didn't have a plan and pushed it out of my head. It was silly to leave the place full of safety and food and water. Everything we’ll ever need is right here. Why risk it?

× ~ × ~ × ~ ×

Laying on my bed for a long time, I blankly stared at the ceiling as his words refused to leave my head. Realizing they wouldn't stop haunting me, I climbed down so that I could actually hear him and gently shook him away.

Whatever sleep stage he was in must have been light because he opened his eyes basically the second my fingertips made contact with his skin. Turning over, he rubbed his eyes as he sat up and looked at me, probably wondering why I woke him up at three in the morning.

All Parts

“So, when do we leave?”

Next Chapter

[ali-anne-undertale-stoof]

Noise

I've been starved of autistic Sans content, so I've decided to make it myself! EAT UP!!

Most people can drown out background noise. Someway, somehow, they can block out the sound of chewing, the clocks ticking, the pens scratching on paper, the clatter of utensils when they touch the crockery...

Sans almost envies those people, because he can't do that. Not even for a second.

He's grown used to it. Ever since he was a kid, he remembered, he was like this. He was always the first one to point out the little sounds that bothered him.

When a bored kid in class lightly tapped the radiator with a pen behind his seat, it almost felt like hellfire hitting his ossicles. He wanted to yell.

"cut it out!" He would say. "it burns! stop it! get me away!"

He never said those things out loud, but gosh, did he want to say them.

He wanted to say it got better as he grew up, but no. It was the same as ever.

He always felt like a creep when he unintentionally listened to strangers' conversations. Whenever he would do something simple, like a quick walk to Grillby's, for instance, there was always a conversation going on in the background. And unlike what Sans would call "normal people", he can't just block it out. But he wants to. Oh Delta, he wants to. He's just so tired of hearing everything.

"And Terri said to me, 'You're giving me ideas for when we start dating...'"

"Doesn't she have a husband? And a son?"

"Yeah, I know. Her son is a real piece of work too."

He didn't want to listen into this conversation any longer. Stop it, brain, stop it!

He needed some peace and quiet.

Going to the woods is one of Sans' favourite pastimes for a reason. It's not just because of the beauty of nature, but also because of how quiet it is. Hardly anyone goes into the woods, not unless it's the Nice Cream guy or the Royal Guards that watch for humans.

When he's in the woods, it's just Sans and the sound of freshly laid snow crunching beneath his feet. The sound is delightful.

A lot of sounds are delightful to him, actually.

The soft sizzling of cooking burgers. Fire crackling. Low humming. Echo flowers whispering, as long as there aren't too many. Laughter, freaking laughter! Birds singing. Flowers blooming.

Wait, do flowers even make a sound? Not really, if Sans never heard them.

Sans loves music. It's a way to control what goes in your (lack of) ears AND it sounds good! What more could you possibly want?

He loves the sound a trombone makes when it's played, especially during an unfortunate circumstance. It's a good way to break the tension, at least.

Humming had always been a BONE-fide way to calm him down in the midst of inevitable overwhelm. He doesn't know why he has to be so sensitive to noises. Every time, when he starts getting overwhelmed from the stimuli, it's always...

"Wow, you're so sensitive."

"What are you crying about? There's nothing to cry about!"

"It's not that loud, stop overreacting."

And so on.

Nobody understood why it happens. Not even Sans.

But hey, at least he grew out of it.

Mostly.

Save for that one time where his usual path was blocked by a construction site of all things. Construction was rare in the underground, since too much of it could potentially cause a cave in. But it did have to happen occasionally for regular maintenance. And if there was anything Sans hated more than anything, it was construction sites.

The drills, the hammers, the whirring, the buzzing, the banging, the shouts, the screams! It bypasses beyond Sans' ossicles and drills straight into his SOUL!!!

He was SUPPOSED to go to Hotland, but NOPE! Not with that going on, no sirree, THANK YOU!!!

All he wanted to do was go back home. So he did, tears streaming down his face.

Was he crying? Oh heck no. He can't go out when he's crying like this! The tears really need to stop!

...

They didn't stop. They only fell more. Sans hated crying. What to do, what to do...?

Everything's blurry. All that's playing in his mind is the continuous sound of the drills, the hammers, the beeping, the shouting... And sobbing?

Oh, god, he's SOBBING!

And Papyrus is right there...

"BROTHER? BROTHER, WHAT'S WRONG? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN?"

...Papyrus always understood. Well, not completely, but Sans knows he has something similar.

And that something similar is part of the reason why he always wore gloves. Why he has a cloth that he stuffs into his nasal cavity when he gets overwhelmed by particularly pungent smells.

It's not the same, but... It's a similar principle. Out of everyone, Sans trusted Papyrus with this stuff the most.

Sans tried to speak, but all that came out was more sobbing. He's such a sensitive douchebag! Crying over loud noises?! What is wrong with him?! Nobody else was like this, so why was he falling apart?!

He fell apart... But Papyrus kept him together.

Papyrus always gave the best hugs in situations like these. The tight hug would be practically suffocating to the average person... but not for Sans. The tightness is comforting. It keeps him grounded. It's like his hoodie, but better, because it was Papyrus!

It's always Papyrus...

It took a while for Sans to regain the strength to speak, and even then, he couldn't complete any real sentences.

"construction... loud..."

"I SEE... IT'S OKAY, BROTHER. YOU'RE AWAY FROM IT NOW."

"mhm..."

"YOU KNOW... WHAT IF I TALKED TO UNDYNE TOMORROW, AND SHE COULD GET ALPHYS TO FIX SOMETHING UP FOR YOU?"

Sans perked up at that idea. Something just for him, huh? It was worth a shot.

He wanted to say something more, but all he could give at the time was a simple nod.

So Papyrus gave a message to Undyne, and Undyne passed it on to Alphys. Before Sans knew it, he was in Alphys' (admittedly very messy) office, and she was presenting a special kind of technology for him.

"S-So! I made noise-cancelling earplugs for you! Um... Let's see if these fit in your ear... holes? What do you call those?"

"the external acoustic meatus. but it's not actually meat."

"I c-can see that."

"yeah, i don't know why they call it that. it's not like i have any meat on my bones or anything."

"Ha ha, very funny. Dork."

"says the girl who presented manga as human history."

"Oh, shut up, you!"

Sans had to admit, the earplugs were very comfortable. And they fit perfectly, too! But the best part was the app that came with it.

"O-Okay, so I connected your earplugs to this app, and basically what it does is... um... Let me just show you."

She tapped one of the many widgets in the app, and whaddya know? The sound of crashing waves played directly into Sans' "ears", giving a calm, peaceful atmosphere.

"wow, this is... this is amazing."

"R-Really? Cool! Um... I'll just download the app to your phone then, and you can test it yourself!"

The earplugs were a life-changer. Whenever Sans felt overwhelmed, he popped the earplugs in and played beach sounds. Or white noise, or lullabies, or lofi music, or- Well, the list is practically endless!

Sans couldn't be more thankful if he tried. He had a way to circumvent around his hearing sensitivity! Just like how Papyrus has his sniffer cloth, Sans now has his earplugs.

He even let Papyrus try the earplugs when he got them. He loved them so much that Sans considered getting Papyrus something too, despite the fact that he already had tools that he uses to work around his own sensory problems.

Sans doesn't know why he's this way, but perhaps he doesn't need to know. As long as he has people who understand his needs, he's set. And he couldn't be more happy about that.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Lyrics that are associated to Alejo

I’ll write an explanation for why these specific lyrics relate to him, but not now. Also, they’re all in chronological order to his story.

This post is stupidly long…💀

I Don’t Care (fob):

I don't care what you think As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness in misery

Yeah Boy And Doll Face (ptv):

With a knife in the back And a grip on the glass, it's cold And I don't wanna be here I guess I'm never comfortable or situational

The moment that's where I kill the conversation Wrap this up with a lie that I'm enjoying Every minute with myself

And she could make hell feel just like home So I'm never leaving her alone

I Don’t Care If You’re Contagious (ptv):

Last night, she recited every reason she's fine So if we're heading there together at the same time You sing while I drive

And I don't care if you're sick I don't care if you're contagious I would kiss you even if you were dead

I'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin 'Till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention

Hold On Till May (ptv):

Now don't be crazy, yes, now of course you can stay here Been in a touring band for going on ten years "Big deal, " she said, "I guess you're official" I only said it 'cause I know what it's like to feel burned out It gets you down, we've all been there sometimes But tonight I'll make you feel beautiful once again

If I were you, I'd put that away See, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again Darling, you'll be okay

This love was out of control Tell me, where did it go?

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World (fob):

You only hold me up like this 'Cause you don't know who I really am Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” (fob):

I confess, I messed up Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around And I know you're dressed up Hey kid you'll never live this down

You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you But you can't blame me for hating it So say, what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

The Sky Under The Sea (ptv):

Write me off, give up on me 'Cause darling what did you expect I'm just off, a lost cause A long shot, don't even take this bet As I brace my knees you hold me down with your eyes

And someday I'll drive Close both my eyes We'll swim in circles in the blue lights It's gonna be the best day of my life

And oh my God You'll never be as beautiful without me Beauty needs an animal to breathe And baby you'll be alright as long as I'm not So do that dance in the dark Sharpen your teeth and bite as hard as you want

And do you really trust your tongue Or did you bury the taste And is this fantasy real Or is it all home-made And did you call me last night just 'cause you couldn't get laid Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine

Do you think you're the only one (afraid) Do you think you're the only one (afraid) Do you think you're the only one afraid of this machine

Drella (ptv):

Do you think You'd better love me back You said you want someone Who actually cares But I'll say what I want Because nobody's around when I talk It feels better to fall asleep alone Because that's the only way I know

Wonderless (ptv):

I don't care If your beautiful lips Exist out there 'Cause I'm wonderless Why the best can't make it in Hollywood No more

Maybe you're to blame Maybe I'm a star (Stumbling drunk light) My mistakes I've made won't leave me Alone Oh, no

You're a payphone away from the mess that I've become I'm destroying what I love

Dive In (ptv):

And I wish I was poisonous Like a bottomless sound, like a violent drug Do you remember the knife I kept? The sharper it got, the more you wanted me to use it I was lying to you, but you were lying too So what's left to do? What's left to say? Stop making friends, just us I'll decompose with you

And modern anxiety That motherfucker never rests Our adrenaline is kickin' in so play the beat faster Head for the streets We're the puke and decay We're only dreaming, what's your problem, baby?

Kill me if I end up like you

And just because you're screaming for my attention Does not mean I will waste my time So hold your breath and swim under the ice

I know that it's not safe here You did this to yourself but have no fear Just hold your breath and swim under

Hot Mess (cobra starship):

I've been hypnotized The city's your playground, I watch you take a bite At five am roaming in the streets Drunk all night You think your hot shit I love it, I love it, yeah, yeah Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine Keep doing what you're doing and I'm a make you mine

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time (p!atd):

Memories tend to just pop up Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves Five thousand people with designer drugs Don't think I'll ever get enough (don't think I'll ever get enough)

Bar to bar at the speed of sound Fancy feet dancing through this town Lost my mind in a wedding gown Don't think I'll ever get it now (don't think I'll ever get it now)

The (After) Life Of The Party (fob):

I'm a stitch away from making it And a scar away from falling apart, apart Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

Stay Away From My Friends (ptv):

Baby stay away from my friends Because I need them to carry me when it's over I'll count back from ten And you can listen to Something that you've never heard before (never heard before)

But you don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night Scaring the thought of kissing razors This blood evacuation is telling me to cave in Stay away Oh no Just stay away from my friends.

Phantom Power And Ludicrous Speed (ptv):

I'm mastering the art of miracles and flawless tragedies Here I spend everyday in captivity Devoured while the walls grow hands and teeth

I cried and listened to the rain in a rental car One day somebody's gonna go and get pushed too far But now I don't know what to say Shall I deny my lungs their breathing rights?

So give it up, give it up Don't let your mind slip away Don't drink, don't get so high Your beat's too obvious Not gonna say what you want me to say I guess you're right

The less you're seen, the less you are But I don't even care anymore

Anatomy of a ghost, invisible friend I won't pay for sanity, 'cause I don't wanna know Some things are better left alone But thanks for your concern and calls

It seems I'm not everything you wanted me to be I suggest you pray for a A full recovery A full recovery

Demolition Lovers (My Chemical Romance):

I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things we put each other through and I would drive on, to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running

This song seems like Alejo being aware of how he's (unintentionally) making Penélope feel and wanting to change that, so he tries to tell her but his words never match his actions. In the end, they don't work it out. Alejo is probably starting to wonder why he can't seem to keep anybody close to him.

The Divine Zero (ptv):

Wild eyes of terror pray for sex on the beach While oceans of kerosene will soak into me I'm not meant for this world, I just don't see the point Don't think about it, don't overthink about it

And life is a joke But everything's riding on me tonight Been counting the stars and scars How I'm becoming a work of art

In desperate times and desperate measures I come so close, my hopes are severed by the downside A million waves in the ocean crash at once to make you smile

And life is a joke At least I can love you, naked and tattooed Counting the stars and scars And if the pain is a sound, let's slow it down

Your serotonin's gone The kerosene's gone The sunset is gone Yeah, it's all gone, all gone, all gone

Future (paramore):

So I'm writing the future I'm leaving a key here Something won't always be missing It won't always feel emptier

Just think of the future And think of your dreams You'll get away from here You'll get away eventually

So just think of your future Think of a new life Don't get lost in the memories Keep your eyes on a new prize

Gold Medal Ribbon (ptv):

Are you up there? Just give me a signal I'm reaching you now 'Cause I remember the sound of your voice But I don't remember what we talked about It doesn't matter, that's a waste of time

So take off your rings and lipstick for me

I swear that I can hear you in the wind You're singing to me and you're Dancing in the halls outside again I'm always listening

Song For Isabel (ptv):

If there's still evidence of us Why can't that be enough?

I don't mean to drag you down You taste just like you always do

Isabelle hides, so I can't find my way I'd give anything just to surround your dreams

Back in the days, when I was young I'm not a kid anymore But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again

Well, yes! It would be wonderful if he could go back to being a clueless kid who doesn't know how cruel life can be yet!

Emergency Contact (ptv):

There's no greater vengeance Than learning to enjoy again Hope you get the message Nobody's shatter-resistant Therapy is tiring But so is hiding how you feel You can bring the villain in And I can bring the sex appeal Leave me, something Or let me out, I'm starving Push me, pull me Waiting for the start of Things that I want, this happily ever after You choke on your words, but you swallow them faster I sleep on the couch while you're passed out in the back Just want you to be my emergency contact

You're my angel You're a fucking angel You're my angel All mine Mine Mine, mine Mine

This part refers to his feelings towards Jenifer when they reconnect as adults. It’s quite obvious I think, but it’s very cute regardless. Maybe it’s over-dramatic but you could say that Jenifer saved Alejo, in a way. She came back into his life at the perfect time, when Alejo was able to give her his full attention and to love her properly, and when both of them had grown as people. Neither are perfect, they never will be, but they’ve managed to improve themselves for the better. She is his angel.

[tobiasdrake]

Alright. Jogging down the street, take 3. This time, no distractions. We're gonna sprint from point B to point A, so called because point B is where we begin Plan B and point A is where we begin Plan A.

I know. It's fucking weird. Have you ever tried measuring how probabilistic physics react under the influence of your time rewind? I think the d6 is landing on different values when it falls.

NO DISTRACTIONS!

I mean... unless we wanted to find out our lucky number....

Oh fine, I'll behave. Do you have the stamina for the jog, though?

Well, that's convenient. We might be able to get there right as the body comes down, and have him crash onto the car!

Let's GO!

Yeah, that's about what I thought. Fortunately, we may have saved his life. Hollywood movies have taught me that cars are ultra-soft and landing on one from any height means guaranteed survival.

...the fucking d6 is on the hood in front of his face. It's probably a different value again but this doesn't count as a test of probabilistic physics under time-rewind. We've changed the surrounding circumstances too much. It corrupts the test.

Trying to get his attention but all he cares about is the die. Pretty sure that's a 4, by the way.

Bullshit, that is a four.

It's weird that it's a four. We can see the three facing us, so the four should be facing the opposite direction. All opposing sides of a d6 add to 7. But it is a four facing up. Maybe the one is on the side facing him, rather than the top?

Ha! I knew it! Hollywood physics never fail! I guess you could say it sure was lucky that we found this taxicab, wasn't it?

We have saved a life. ^_^ All in a day's work for Fubuki Clockford, Master Detective.

:D Protective rainclouds and roses. I guess this means we've closed the book on this case. Nothing more to see here!

Oh shit, we actually left. XD Who cares about the finer details like why he fell. Guy lived! Job's done! This was a Lucky Day miracle.

Oh, I'm sure we can trust the corporate shills down at Kanai Ward's finest propaganda machine to report only the truth. No reason to let these good vibes go to waste.

That's because it was counting down to when he'd be saved! The d6 knew his fate.

Hmm... and who do we know that reads fates....

The Fortune Teller! If she's in on it, then she could have given the victim a divining die! Perhaps that's why she was so keen on giving us a lucky number! The lucky number decides how many times you will die before you live.

Or Halara! We already know that they're postcognitive. Who's to say they haven't been keeping a little precognition from us too? Maybe they're having breakfast with us right now to eavesdrop on our findings!

Or Yomi. In all this city, nobody has so much power over fate and destiny as Yomi. He flexes that power every time he has people killed. He shapes people's fates into imprisonment and death as easily as imprisoning or killing them. Perhaps he used his powers to shape this fate as well?

The Count is probably clean. He can only work with numbers that already exist, so I think we can remove him from the list.

But what might have changed is probability. We're going quantum on our lucky day!

Bestie. Bestie. You are rich as fuck, bestie. The cost of Halara's services are pocket change. Bestie. This team-up would be amazing.

Woo-hoo, rich girl gets freebies! Boy, it sure is nice to have upper-class privileges. It's almost like the systems of capital are designed to make things more expensive for the poor or something.

Maybe it's cause Halara thinks I'm swell. :)

Of course, we shouldn't discount the more rational explanation. Halara's offer of pro bono services may be another manifestation of our Lucky Day!

And. Would that. Still be considered a conversation among friends, rather than an official business expenditure? I will offer you this adorable smile and a pair of thumbs ups.

(b˃̵ ᴗ ˂̵)b Let's go, Team... Nightford? Clockmare? Fulara? ...Nightmare... Clock... Alarm clock!

Let's go, Team Alarm Clock, let's go!

...oh, but you're also a suspect so this will let me keep an eye on you. I nearly forgot you were on The List. Finger guns!

Does it say which building? I tried asking around but everyone was too busy gasping in shock.

That's probably where the d6 came from. This involves gambling in some way or another. He was so invested in the outcome of that roll that he was willing to die for it.

What about the roof? Can the windows on the roof be opened?

*nods sagely* Roof windows are unlocked. Check.

What are his gambling habits like? That's going to be the centerpiece of this mystery.

There we go. Now we're on the trail of the d6. Not sure we'll find the d6 at the crime scene now, after all this time. Oh! But Halara can use their Postcognition to return to the crime scene and spot it! I'm so glad we hired invited Halara to tag along as our extra-special luxury friend!

They are so cool, y'all. I don't know why Yuma always looks so miserable every time he finishes a conversation with them!

[papirouge]

Candace owens spent *years* accepting and working under a zionist (Shapiro), attacking everyone and everything, but only NOW she spoke against his support for Israel and wants sympathy from everyone because she got fired

The only reason I think is because recently Andrew T has been supportive of her a lot so she would probably jump on his bandwagon soon for money. Which makes no sense since her husband is supposedly a millionaire, she doesn’t like working mothers in general and believes in a trad family unit but will not stop working outside of the house despite having young kids. Does her husband not work? Are her kids being raised by nannies? She makes no sense

I watched her interview in the Breakfast Club and I couldn't help but shake my head thinking "there's no way this woman would've gone there if she didn't fall from White conservatives good graces". The BC is a popular radio show among the Black American community so this move screamed "pls Black people, take me (back) 🥺👉🏾👈🏾". Candace is not stupid - she knew what she was doing.

When Charlemagne asked her about the White Lives Matter tee stunt she simply said "I wore this tee because White Lives Matter 🤷🏾‍♀️" AS IF THAT WAS NOT EXACTLY WHAT BLACK PEOPLE SAID ABOUT BLACK LIVES MATTER AND YET IT DIDN'T STOP THOSE WHITE CONSERVATIVES CANDACE HAS BEEN SHILLING FOR YEARS TO BITCH ON THAT STATEMENT ?? She hides behind the "BLM is a money laundering scheme and there's no way Black people would be supported by mainstream medias and big corporation like that" as if it was a rational explanation to why White conservatives freaked out at Black people simply saying their life mattered.

I absolutely do not buy her narrative that the criticism of BLM came from a place of benevolence or genuine concern for the Black community. They didn't behave this way because the movement was money laundering scheme that would eventually be tokenized - FROM THE START White conservatives got mad at BLM for simply centering Black lives, and *this* was enough for them to call it an "anti White" statement. Besides, if their criticism of BLM was truly about protecting Black lives from gross corporate tokenization, Conservatives wouldn't be so hellbent to prove those dead Black people actually deserved it. I will never understand the brainrot of thinking the purpose of the police was to kill - even bad people. I know the USA is shitty country but in civilized country the police is supposed to catch and then drag people before the justice. When it kills an offender it's considered as a FAILURE. Killing ≠ justice. But USAmericans are way too barbaric and violent to grasp that. (and that's also why so also why American "Christian" wrongfully link death penalty to justice when Christianity condemns murder and asserts repentance as the real tool of God given righteousness)

So Candace can keep it with her BS excuses. I'm mad that neither of the host clocked her hypocrisy off but it's not like Charlemagne or Jessy Hilarious were the most qualified people, in terms of challenging guests intellectually....

And yeah, Candace is the typical "do as I say, not as I do" because she keeps dunking on feminism while she's basically the man in her marriage. She's the one constantly on the spotlight. Her husband did a YouTube interview lately and its title is "being Candace Owens husband" 💀 and in the thumbnail Candace face took the entire place front & center...and her husband's is like at the bottom corner lmao nobody knows dude by his name!! they need to drag Candace name to bring clicks!! isn't that embarrassing? lol

Candace went from being a leftist SJW to a rightoid SJW. She really didn't progress on that aspect. There's nothing less traditional than being a activist as a woman. Just because she's not a feminist doesn't mean she, by her status, does not go against traditional gender roles. And that's something many conservatives fail to understand. If it was about keeping gender roles, they wouldn't be so eager to elevate women to mouthpiece status (notably to bash feminism). Tradition is all about letting women embrace their softness, nurture and create - not jumping in the wolf arena to blurp political propaganda on social media 24/7. Politics is one of the most male oriented profession field. You can't be a politician/political commentator without having a very dominant male energy. So Candace being critical of feminism comes off as an absolute joke, because feminism (that enabled women to break gender norms) is what made her happen - whether she like it or not.

If she truly stuck to her word, she would've put down the cape & retired after her marriage. She had 2 kids but homegirl is still running left and right to host talk shows, crowdfund money, attend political meetings, etc. WHEN IS SHE AT HOME. HER KIDS NEED HER.

Isn't her husband milllionnaire? Why doesn't he provide?? Why doesn't she soften up her act, FINALLY embrace her traditional soft feminity and stop being a political warrior?? ...Sorry but her storytelling ain't mathing - at All.

And I'm absolutely not surprised to see Andrew Tate defend her. She made this very partisan interview of him (that's why any person saying she's lOgiCal and unbiased is an idiot) and I guess he feels like he owes her. Having such a proeminent female figure defend him is definitely an asset he's going to capitalize off as much as he can. She did the same with Kanye until he shoved her under the bus and made his techouva to the Jewish community ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ this woman never learns....

And that's what tell me, from one Black woman to another, Candace never managed to deconstruct her male identification - which is particularly strong with Black women. We are rised to defend and worship Black men, because of slavery, racism, etc. (that's why I'm glad I grew up surrounded by women bc I got sparred from having to look up for males lol)

[virdemption]

Radley's Monkey Ball theories (1)

[cause i was ranting too much on twitter for this, ALSO NOTE: This post is very long.]

I'm gonna make this first one about uh... F-Gongon. I think one reason why so much worldbuilding was never brought up again (Aside from the gap between Bounce and BBHD) is because SMB wants the doubles to just be costumes. Why though? They have their own lore. And holiday posts don't even use the doubles. They even put Meemee in a witch hat ignoring the fact W-Meemee exists.

I've already rambled before about how the monkeys are not the same as their doubles but in this post I'm highlighting F-Gongon specifically because I think he does this best (And it's also my favorite character). I've been wanting to ramble about it for a really really long time actually.

So F-Gongon. Its lore is that it was awoken within an ancient castle and cannot eat bananas due to his sheer strength, being modified to be stronger than his original iteration.

^^^ Who might I add is already extremely strong on his own what the fuck. I mean. Have you seen him punch away the timebomb in the volcano.

So I'm gonna start off with its castle. The series never specified what castle it got awoken in (implying it had already been in there for who knows how long?) but he could have also been created in there. This could be the Bananightmare castle considering a lot of doubles in 3D seem to have ties with in-game worlds (cough R-Doctor cough P-Yanyan[?]). This is probably the most likely outcome considering if I wanted to stretch it, W-Meemee would have her ties with Sweet Fountain or maybe even Skyopolis but that's like I said, a stretch.

My personal theory is that F-Gongon was awoken in the Clock Tower Factory considering the exterior of the building is castle-like. The entire plot of the factory is that Bad Boon created Aiai robots there to do his bidding. And he's also from the fucking future so yeah I'm pretty sure he has enough mechanical expertise to make a zombie. And logically if he wanted to make a clone to stop Aiai and friends, he should pick Gongon because he is aforementioned extremely fucking powerful. Gongon would have worked as the robots if the end goal was to fight and cause bloodshed, but the Aiai robots were made to stir distrust (which is probably why they got destroyed immediately).

But if there's a castle in Mystic Dome (I don't think so though) he could have been awoken in there too. There's all sorts of ancient computers in Mystic Dome! They're active and they're given life. Nobody knows why, not even the game itself. And his color scheme is lots of blues/grey/green which matches with the area too.

NOT TO MENTION HIS COLORSCHEME MATCHES WELL WITH BAD BOON'S BASE AS WELL! WHICH MIGHT I ADD IS WHERE HE WAS IN A PROMOTIONAL TWEET.

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK I JUST HAD ANOTHER THOUGHT FUCK IS MYSTIC DOME THE REMAINS OF BAD BOON'S BASE-

Okay well I haven't even touched on the bananas thing yet so I should probably get to that. In 3D's description for him, F-Gongon is stated to be so powerful it can't eat bananas. In this description, this is clearly mentioned to be due to physical strength, however, in this tweet, this is implied to be a stomach thing (Which would make sense, why would a mass of electricity and probably rotting flesh be able to digest food).

Though it could also be a mix of both, actually. It's already implied to be hard enough for him to grasp things without crushing or even maybe shocking them, but in the chance F-Gongon could properly grab a banana, will the food even properly settle in its stomach? Maybe he'd get cockroaches festering in its body and need them removed?

This makes me wonder if he could eat the haunted banana. The description for it mentions that it's a ghostly spirit of a banana and that "You'd have to be totally bananas eat it!" (Ik I wrote it like that btw, it literally has that typo in game.) If that banana doesn't have a physical form, maybe he can eat it. And the holy banana's physical form is possibly dubious, considering it is potentially somewhat made of light considering it glows.

It's also worth noting that the entire plot of SMB1 is that Aiai and Gongon are in a race to Banana Sanctuary (A place with bananas). And I don't really see why F-Gongon would want to go there if he can't eat the bananas.

So what's F-Gongon's personality like? The normal Gongon in canon is shown to be a rowdy, hard headed guy who cares deeply for his friends and has a strong self image, wanting to become the strongest monkey in the world.

Though, like all the other doubles, not much is shown with F-Gongon. Although judging by the fact that he's a modified version of an ape who's already extremely strong, I don't think he has any goals it wants to set or follow. There's nothing for him to want to achieve. Normal Gongon is already off working with team Super Monkey Ball and his own aspirations, and why would F-Gongon need to do that? The only thing I could reasonably see it wanting to achieve is 1. Collecting bananas and 2. Thwart Bad Boon's plans.

At first I looked at the mention of him being all about collecting bananas in the promo tweet with the take of "But why would he collect bananas if it can't eat them?" But then I remembered "Hey, he's so different from most monkeys, and they're probably scared of it for being a monster." Maybe he wants to give monkeys bananas as a show of not being threatening? Everyone loves bananas! So if he gave people bananas, they'd want to be its friend!

(Also, back to an earlier point, Banana Sanctuary just has way too many bananas to take home and give to others which is why I didn't bring it up in that segment until now.)

And let's assume for a second that what I said about him being awoken by Bad Boon is correct, I would imagine it'd hold a lot of resentment towards Bad Boon (Who wouldn't, actually?) and probably be very angry that someone like itself has been awoken and set free into the world. That he shouldn't exist considering, well... Normal people don't have bolts in their head and multicolored fur and skin stitched together. He is not normal. He's a freak of nature.

I think that his unlock conditions in both Monkey Race and Monkey fight could also lure a bit into a sensible personality for him:

In Monkey Race, it is unlocked by getting 3rd place in the Mt. Tyrano grand prix. This is the lowest score for any character unlocked here, while P-Yanyan requires 2nd and B-Jet requires 1st. The track itself is a vast, rugged mountain with lots of spots to fall lose yourself in. Good for any explorer monkeys looking for treasure, or in B-Jet's case, a place to roam around with the rest of the tribe. In Monkey Fight, he's simply unlocked with beating the Hidden series in 1st place.

This combined with the unlock conditions of Monkey Race and the small tidbits we get from his lore make me theorize that F-Gongon is a gentle giant with no life goals who relatively tries to hide from the world due to a poor self image. It does genuinely want to have a few close friends and to be accepted for what he is but still can't help but hold resentment and frustration towards most everything and everybody around it.

(Don't ask about Monkey Race karts at the time being though I have no idea where they'd fall if they even did.)

Just as a little bonus: I have been using He/It this entire time for it! I personally view that as a headcanon though I do have a reason why I have that view. He has been called both He/Him in game + on promotional posts, but has also been called with It/Its in a translation of another post.

It was probably just a coincidence but I really love it lawl

But that's about it for my theory. This was fun to do and I always have lots of thoughts about this series so I'm hoping to do more theorizing later!

(Also help I not only 1. spent an hour on this post but 2. have just began thinking about how he ties more into my oc's lore because its important to her story lawl)