all-we-know-is-falling

[all-we-know-is-falling]

For Jenifer: Who are your friends?

I don't have very many. Well, I had a close friend when I was younger but she became normal and I didn't. We don't talk anymore, and I don't think she would've liked me at all if our mothers weren't friends first. My mom is still friends with her's, so I have to hear about her and how much cooler she is than me and all the stuff she's doing right, for some reason. My mom compares me to her all the time. It makes me feel terrible about myself but, whatever. Anyway, the point of bringing her up was to say that out of the very few friends I've had in my life, the closest one to me doesn't like me anymore.

Besides that, I'd say that my best friend is... my boyfriend. It's sad, I know, but he really is. Most of my friends are only my friends because they were his first. My boyfriend's best friend is nice to me and I'd consider him one of my closest friends too. Don't worry, there's no arguments or anything from Alejo getting jealous. His best friend is gay, so it's fine. Not that I'd even have feelings for him if he weren't, anyway. There's also, and this is where their relation to me becomes ridiculous and honestly embarrassing, my boyfriend's best friend's sister and boyfriend. I'm not sure that they even like me that much but if I didn't count them as my friends I'd have nobody, so.

Besides those guys, I've got one friend of my own who I didn't meet through my boyfriend. She's like, as weird as I am, I'd say. We have a lot of stuff in common, like our music and she likes to draw too so that's cool. I don't really know what to say about her, I'm not too good at describing people. I guess I'm just glad that I've got somebody to talk to in class.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Lyrics that are associated to Alejo

I’ll write an explanation for why these specific lyrics relate to him, but not now. Also, they’re all in chronological order to his story.

This post is stupidly long…💀

I Don’t Care (fob):

I don't care what you think As long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness in misery

Yeah Boy And Doll Face (ptv):

With a knife in the back And a grip on the glass, it's cold And I don't wanna be here I guess I'm never comfortable or situational

The moment that's where I kill the conversation Wrap this up with a lie that I'm enjoying Every minute with myself

And she could make hell feel just like home So I'm never leaving her alone

I Don’t Care If You’re Contagious (ptv):

Last night, she recited every reason she's fine So if we're heading there together at the same time You sing while I drive

And I don't care if you're sick I don't care if you're contagious I would kiss you even if you were dead

I'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin 'Till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention

Hold On Till May (ptv):

Now don't be crazy, yes, now of course you can stay here Been in a touring band for going on ten years "Big deal, " she said, "I guess you're official" I only said it 'cause I know what it's like to feel burned out It gets you down, we've all been there sometimes But tonight I'll make you feel beautiful once again

If I were you, I'd put that away See, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again Darling, you'll be okay

This love was out of control Tell me, where did it go?

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World (fob):

You only hold me up like this 'Cause you don't know who I really am Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” (fob):

I confess, I messed up Dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around And I know you're dressed up Hey kid you'll never live this down

You're just the girl all the boys want to dance with And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you But you can't blame me for hating it So say, what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

The Sky Under The Sea (ptv):

Write me off, give up on me 'Cause darling what did you expect I'm just off, a lost cause A long shot, don't even take this bet As I brace my knees you hold me down with your eyes

And someday I'll drive Close both my eyes We'll swim in circles in the blue lights It's gonna be the best day of my life

And oh my God You'll never be as beautiful without me Beauty needs an animal to breathe And baby you'll be alright as long as I'm not So do that dance in the dark Sharpen your teeth and bite as hard as you want

And do you really trust your tongue Or did you bury the taste And is this fantasy real Or is it all home-made And did you call me last night just 'cause you couldn't get laid Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine

Do you think you're the only one (afraid) Do you think you're the only one (afraid) Do you think you're the only one afraid of this machine

Drella (ptv):

Do you think You'd better love me back You said you want someone Who actually cares But I'll say what I want Because nobody's around when I talk It feels better to fall asleep alone Because that's the only way I know

Wonderless (ptv):

I don't care If your beautiful lips Exist out there 'Cause I'm wonderless Why the best can't make it in Hollywood No more

Maybe you're to blame Maybe I'm a star (Stumbling drunk light) My mistakes I've made won't leave me Alone Oh, no

You're a payphone away from the mess that I've become I'm destroying what I love

Dive In (ptv):

And I wish I was poisonous Like a bottomless sound, like a violent drug Do you remember the knife I kept? The sharper it got, the more you wanted me to use it I was lying to you, but you were lying too So what's left to do? What's left to say? Stop making friends, just us I'll decompose with you

And modern anxiety That motherfucker never rests Our adrenaline is kickin' in so play the beat faster Head for the streets We're the puke and decay We're only dreaming, what's your problem, baby?

Kill me if I end up like you

And just because you're screaming for my attention Does not mean I will waste my time So hold your breath and swim under the ice

I know that it's not safe here You did this to yourself but have no fear Just hold your breath and swim under

Hot Mess (cobra starship):

I've been hypnotized The city's your playground, I watch you take a bite At five am roaming in the streets Drunk all night You think your hot shit I love it, I love it, yeah, yeah Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine Keep doing what you're doing and I'm a make you mine

Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time (p!atd):

Memories tend to just pop up Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves Five thousand people with designer drugs Don't think I'll ever get enough (don't think I'll ever get enough)

Bar to bar at the speed of sound Fancy feet dancing through this town Lost my mind in a wedding gown Don't think I'll ever get it now (don't think I'll ever get it now)

The (After) Life Of The Party (fob):

I'm a stitch away from making it And a scar away from falling apart, apart Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate And the full moon pills got me out on the street at night

Stay Away From My Friends (ptv):

Baby stay away from my friends Because I need them to carry me when it's over I'll count back from ten And you can listen to Something that you've never heard before (never heard before)

But you don't know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night Scaring the thought of kissing razors This blood evacuation is telling me to cave in Stay away Oh no Just stay away from my friends.

Phantom Power And Ludicrous Speed (ptv):

I'm mastering the art of miracles and flawless tragedies Here I spend everyday in captivity Devoured while the walls grow hands and teeth

I cried and listened to the rain in a rental car One day somebody's gonna go and get pushed too far But now I don't know what to say Shall I deny my lungs their breathing rights?

So give it up, give it up Don't let your mind slip away Don't drink, don't get so high Your beat's too obvious Not gonna say what you want me to say I guess you're right

The less you're seen, the less you are But I don't even care anymore

Anatomy of a ghost, invisible friend I won't pay for sanity, 'cause I don't wanna know Some things are better left alone But thanks for your concern and calls

It seems I'm not everything you wanted me to be I suggest you pray for a A full recovery A full recovery

Demolition Lovers (My Chemical Romance):

I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things we put each other through and I would drive on, to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you, and we'll keep it running

This song seems like Alejo being aware of how he's (unintentionally) making Penélope feel and wanting to change that, so he tries to tell her but his words never match his actions. In the end, they don't work it out. Alejo is probably starting to wonder why he can't seem to keep anybody close to him.

The Divine Zero (ptv):

Wild eyes of terror pray for sex on the beach While oceans of kerosene will soak into me I'm not meant for this world, I just don't see the point Don't think about it, don't overthink about it

And life is a joke But everything's riding on me tonight Been counting the stars and scars How I'm becoming a work of art

In desperate times and desperate measures I come so close, my hopes are severed by the downside A million waves in the ocean crash at once to make you smile

And life is a joke At least I can love you, naked and tattooed Counting the stars and scars And if the pain is a sound, let's slow it down

Your serotonin's gone The kerosene's gone The sunset is gone Yeah, it's all gone, all gone, all gone

Future (paramore):

So I'm writing the future I'm leaving a key here Something won't always be missing It won't always feel emptier

Just think of the future And think of your dreams You'll get away from here You'll get away eventually

So just think of your future Think of a new life Don't get lost in the memories Keep your eyes on a new prize

Gold Medal Ribbon (ptv):

Are you up there? Just give me a signal I'm reaching you now 'Cause I remember the sound of your voice But I don't remember what we talked about It doesn't matter, that's a waste of time

So take off your rings and lipstick for me

I swear that I can hear you in the wind You're singing to me and you're Dancing in the halls outside again I'm always listening

Song For Isabel (ptv):

If there's still evidence of us Why can't that be enough?

I don't mean to drag you down You taste just like you always do

Isabelle hides, so I can't find my way I'd give anything just to surround your dreams

Back in the days, when I was young I'm not a kid anymore But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again

Well, yes! It would be wonderful if he could go back to being a clueless kid who doesn't know how cruel life can be yet!

Emergency Contact (ptv):

There's no greater vengeance Than learning to enjoy again Hope you get the message Nobody's shatter-resistant Therapy is tiring But so is hiding how you feel You can bring the villain in And I can bring the sex appeal Leave me, something Or let me out, I'm starving Push me, pull me Waiting for the start of Things that I want, this happily ever after You choke on your words, but you swallow them faster I sleep on the couch while you're passed out in the back Just want you to be my emergency contact

You're my angel You're a fucking angel You're my angel All mine Mine Mine, mine Mine

This part refers to his feelings towards Jenifer when they reconnect as adults. It’s quite obvious I think, but it’s very cute regardless. Maybe it’s over-dramatic but you could say that Jenifer saved Alejo, in a way. She came back into his life at the perfect time, when Alejo was able to give her his full attention and to love her properly, and when both of them had grown as people. Neither are perfect, they never will be, but they’ve managed to improve themselves for the better. She is his angel.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Sleepover

When she was about 14, Catalina stayed over at her friend's house for a sleepover. There were three of them there including her, and there isn't much to say about the night because it was all quite typical. Gossiping, dancing around to music, playing video games, watching movies. When it came to night-time, the hosting friend only had one fold out bed. This is quite a clichéd scenario, yes, but for the girls it really held no significance at all. The only reason this sleepover stands out in Catalina's mind is because she would end up sleeping next to her friend in her bed that night, while the other friend took the fold out bed. In that moment, laying so close to the other girl, Catalina felt something she couldn't have described at the time, because she didn't know what it was. It wasn't a crush, by any means, but the feeling was maybe comparable to butterflies. She mostly forgot about it for a long time. Only later in life, when she was about 18, she began to think, hmm. Maybe this was an early sign that she has liked girls all along, (she sometimes would doubt the possibility of her being bi, but I'll explain that in a different post) and once she realised this, and other instances similar to it, it became a lot more obvious to her that she did, in fact, like girls. Possibly just as much as she liked boys.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

El Partido de Fútbol

Mateo had asked Agustín in the morning if he would like to join him at the park later on. Mateo and some of his friends and classmates were going to have a friendly football match. Agustín agreed, although he would only be there to watch and support his friend's team, rather than play.

The sun was just past its highest point, but luckily it wasn't too hot. The two boys met and made their way to the park together; they were always together. The guys who were already there greeted them. Mateo changed into his football boots, and he was already wearing his Argentina national team jersey.

Time was getting on and everyone wanted to start the game already. Raúl spoke up, "Hey, guys. Enrique said he can't make it, something's come up."

A few guys groaned.

"Our team's going to be a man down then!" Luis complained. "One of you stay off, would you?"

"Nah, I'm not going anywhere." Mateo protested. His entire team agreed.

"Oh, come on. Now it's just unfair." Daniel huffed.

Mateo scanned the field for any extra players. His eyes landed on Agustín, who wasn't even paying attention to them, but was completely in his own head, staring at the surrounding trees that moved gently in the breeze.

Mateo whistled at him. "Hey!"

Agustín turned his face to him. "What?" He asked.

"Join their team. They're missing their midfielder." The curly haired boy was totally assuming he even knew what that meant.

"Are you sure?" The other replied.

"Yeah. Come on!"

Mateo heard someone behind him murmur, "We're finished..." and another go, "What does he know?" Luckily, Agustín was too far away to hear them.

He got up and brushed some grass off of his legs. Due to the unexpectedness of this situation, he wasn't wearing very flexible pants, and he didn't have any football boots. At least he had thought to put on his Chile jersey... even if he was the only one.

"Awesome. Thank you dude." Luis stepped towards him. "Alright! Let's start!"

They all got into their positions, Agustín taking Enrique's place on the midfield, and the kickoff began.

As it turns out, those who made the comments behind Mateo were wrong. The imaginary whistle blew and the game was onto a good start. Agustín may not have scored, but he made a really great attempt that was only stopped by Daniel's above-average saving skills. His passes were decent and he was precise with every one he made. He even had an assist, being the key to Luis' goal which held their team in the lead 2-1 for a while. They didn't win in the end, but Agustín's performance was quite shocking, even to Mateo. His tackles and defence were good too, even if he wasn't the absolute best player on either team.

After the game, it was like Agustín had just earned himself some popularity points, because most of the guys came to pat him on the back and compliment his playing. A few more skirmishes went on with fewer players all round as some just wanted to sit around and cool off or chat.

Mateo took a seat on the grass beside Agustín and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Since when have you been into football?" He had to ask.

Agustín smiled to himself and replied, "I've always been a casual follower, but I was way into it for a while when I was younger. That's how I learned how to play."

Mateo grinned, "You were awesome." He then removed his hand. "You really gave me... us... a challenge there."

"Thank you." Agustín averted his eyes and felt a little embarrassed. When he looked back at Mateo, the boy was gazing at him, his eyes creased a bit and his freckled cheeks pulled his lips into a sweet smile. Agustín smiled back, his face suddenly feeling more flushed than before. Then someone appeared behind him, interrupting the moment that felt like it went on way longer than it actually did, and stole Mateo's attention with a conversation about which fast food restaurant had the better Coca-Cola. What a useless question, Agustín thought, although he knew full well that he would be totally down for that discussion if Mateo had brought it up instead.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Jenifer’s Diary Entry

- She sees that Alejo has a new girlfriend, already. He’s posted a pic of them together. Already.

Is it normal to feel as though my heart is being trampled all over, even though I was the one to break things off with him? I kind of want somebody to tell me it’s not, so then I could at least try to force myself to get over it. Why is it that he can move on so easily? Does he not miss me at all? I don’t see what the point is in wondering when I’m never going to get to ask him, but I can’t help it. He posted a pic of himself with his new girl. How do I know this is his new girl? Well, look at them. They’re way too close to be only friends. Plus, the caption he used has lyrics from a Pierce the Veil song. I don't care if you're contagious. It’s whatever. Not like I used to listen to that song and think of us. I don't think I could enjoy that band anymore. Fuck him for using those lyrics on her. Fuck him for ruining my favourite songs. Fuck him for making me feel like a disposable piece of shit, too. Sure I don’t always think the best of myself but I know that I must at least be better than him, because he sucks way worse than I ever could. It also pisses me off when I see him laughing with his friends, do they know how he really is? I doubt it, or there would be nothing funny about him. I’d love to slap his stupid smile off his face.

He left one of his shirts at my house, but I don’t think I’ll give him it back because if I can’t enjoy it again then neither should he.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

hello bro

can i please know about nieves please i wanna know how their relationship starts, like i know why alejo would be interested in her but im curious why she was interested in him

also i would like to know about how they acted together like the dynamic of their relationship and how this changed alejo

ALSO HOW AND WHY THEY BROKE UP

ty ily bye

Nieves and Alejo

Their relationship came about near the end of 2014, Alejo was 18 and Nieves was 20. It was only a few months after Jenifer had broken up with him. Since Alejo turned 18 he was able to go out more, because it was now legal for him to go to clubs and bars, and thats how he met Nieves... kind of. Through meeting new people and being invited to more places, Alejo and Nieves met at a house party held by a mutual friend, or acquaintance, or whatever. (They both knew a lot of people, not necessarily friends, just connections I suppose.)

Nieves is confident and totally unafraid to express herself whether it be though her fashion or through her words. She loved partying almost as much as she loved dressing up, and those parties were the most frequent places anyone could find her. Her personality was funny, witty and charming, and she could make almost anybody feel comfortable around her, hence how she had so many friends. She also received a lot of attention from people who wanted to get with her, romantically or just for the night. She was picky about who she chose to let flirt with her, and despite what a lot of people thought of her, she didn't ever want to have any one-night stands. If she was going to ever submit herself to a boyfriend or girlfriend, she wanted them to be special. Somehow, that's what she seemed to have found in Alejo. She thought that he matched her humour very well, and he had similar ideas of fun, as well as a similar fashion and music taste. If their relationship could be described in one word, it would be adrenaline, the exciting kind.

Just because they partied often isn't to say that they didn't also have their more relaxed, domestic moments, it was just the highlight of their time together. It was, after all, Nieves' favourite pastime, and since Alejo suddenly had all the more freedom to do what he wanted, it might have gone to his head a little bit. Perhaps it was even a distraction for him, but that's for a different post. He sort of admired Nieves in a way. She was so carefree and he wanted to feel that way too, which she helped him with. She encouraged his self-expression a lot and so during this time people would notice that Alejo's outfits were sometimes more detailed or that he would experiment with things like eyeliner and different hairstyles. This was all good stuff, of course, since Alejo had honestly never felt happier about how he looked. In these ways, Nieves was a good influence on him by making him feel more confident etc. She was less of a good influence when it came to regulating things like alcohol intake, among some other substances. She enabled Alejo's over the top behaviours, which even went on to affect other people, like Agustín. Nieves thought that just because she could maintain this sort of lifestyle, anyone else could. She never really imagined that it could go wrong, because to her it was all just fun. To Alejo it was fun, at first. But again, potentially a distraction.

They broke up because of stupid reasons, such as pointless arguments and things like that. It was hard to keep their relationship stable if one or both of them had their emotions heightened so often from being under the influence. They broke up in 2015.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

OK trying again!!

hey im BEGGING to know more about alejo's gfs as individuals! i know a bit about jenifer but the children crave nieves and penélope

ty ily <33

I have more to say about Penélope, so I'll answer about her for now.

Penélope and Alejo

Penélope met Alejo in 2016 when they were both around 20 years old. They didn't really have much of a friendship period before they got together, but they got on really well. Penélope loved Alejo's funny personality and she loved how he could convince her to come out of her shell a little bit. She's kind of a quiet girl, perhaps a little reserved, although she isn't exactly shy. She just prefers sitting comfortably in her living room with a good book or something to binge watch on Netflix than heading out to a bar or anything like it. This is why her relationship with Alejo seemed a little out of nowhere, since he was barely ever inside his house at the time. To Penélope, though, anything was better than what she had going on.

Before any of this, she had another boyfriend who she had been dating for quite some time, having spent her final couple teen years with him. She felt very ignored by him. He didn't know a thing about her anymore, not her favourite colour, not her favourite song, not even that she preferred silver jewellery over gold. He would spend less and less time with her, leaving her on her own with nothing to do, and he didn't appreciate the effort she put into keeping their relationship going. Penélope suspected that he was sleeping with other girls, or something, which was a horrible thought that made her feel sick. Either that or he was bored of her. Instead of moping about, she decided to push herself to go out without him, with the help of her closest friends to keep her from chickening out of it. She assured them that it wasn't her intention, but perhaps it really was that she wanted to meet somebody new and that she wanted to see what other options were available to her. Penélope didn't think she had it in her to cheat, but she'd be proven wrong once Alejo strolled into her life at just the right time.

The first time they met was at a bar, they simply chatted about whatever was on their minds. Or at least they tried the best they could to talk over the music and the chatter around them. Their personalities and interests matched very well, and they exchanged numbers so that they could speak again. Penélope didn't tell Alejo about her boyfriend.

They met again another night, this time Penélope was without her friends. They were flirty with each other the entire time. The next time was similar, the time after that they decided to meet at Penélope's place... Quickly, their relationship became not only physical but romantic, Alejo only just learning of her boyfriend after they shared their first kiss. Penélope felt that secretly meeting Alejo behind her boyfriend's back was enough of a reason to finally dump him. She wanted to be with Alejo properly because he treated her so much better. So, she did just that and left her boyfriend for him. This was undoubtedly a good decision for her, since she no longer had to put up with such a useless and affectionless guy anymore. This was the happiest and freest she had felt in a long time.

Over the next months, Penélope and Alejo spent a lot of time together. They used every day free from work to see each other whether they were outside or indoors, and used Saturday nights to their advantage where they'd get drinks and stay out late. It was the most consistently that Penélope had ever been on nights out in her life. She kind of loved it, which she didn't expect at first that she would. He made her feel seen and heard. He was kind to her and he gave her little gifts that he picked knowing that she would like them. Cute earrings, bracelets and rings, little plushies and badges. Small things, but meaningful things. He made her laugh so easily and he said the right things that kept her smiling. They'd watch movies together that they both enjoyed.

At some point, her friends had asked her once or twice if she thought that maybe her relationship was moving a little too fast. She thought about it and told them that, yes, they were moving things along quickly, but that she didn't think it was anything to be concerned about. After all, she was happy, and isn't that what mattered the most? Their concerns were valid, but she wasn't concerned herself.

Penélope started noticing a change in Alejo later in the year, around the beginning of spring. However, that's only when she noticed. In truth, this had started before she had even met him, but she wouldn't know that. She noticed that Alejo had been drinking more heavily, he would sometimes call her and she would have to try and decipher slurred words, or he would come over to her place smelling strongly of alcohol. He also seemed distant and she couldn't tell how he was feeling. Alejo would still kiss her but it felt more like an obligation than a choice. They would still have sex but Penélope began to feel as though it was meaningless. They went out less, Alejo always seemed 'busy' with something, (it felt like a terrible case of déjà vu) but Penélope knew that nine times out of ten he was probably just hungover or had slept in for half of the day, or both. She was genuinely concerned about him, regardless of how he made her feel, and she would try to get him to speak to her about it but he would brush it off claiming that nothing had changed, or he would get weird and defensive. She didn't like this anymore.

Penélope did not want this to be like how her last relationship had been, she debated it over and over in her head if she really wanted to break up with Alejo or not. She confided in her friends, almost ashamed to admit that they had been somewhat right about him. Of course, they told her that she had to break up with him, otherwise she'd be stuck just like last time. She listened to them for once, but she couldn't help but feel such an overwhelming guilt about it. Surely it wasn't right that she should leave Alejo when he was clearly in such a vulnerable state? She felt selfish for it, and maybe she was, but she didn't know what else to do. He wouldn't accept her support, he wouldn't even admit he had a problem. She couldn't help somebody who wasn't willing to help themself.

By the end of the year, Penélope was not with Alejo anymore. She decided to focus on herself for a while.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Soon they will exist.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

does alejo ever try to apologise or patch up the relationship with jenifer after they break up (obviously it doesnt work) ?

like, does he approach her afterwards or is it no contact after she breaks up with him?

alternatively how fast does he move on from jenifer

(as someone with a phd in alejology i personally think hes too self centred to understand what he did wrong but is still heartbroken over losing her)

(like not entirely self centred but he’ll put his own feelings on the matter above hers and wont rlly be able to see from her perspective)

1: Alejo would feel awful about everything that happened and he would try to reach out to Jenifer to let her know that he was, in fact, sorry. The thing is, his apology didn’t come off as the most genuine. You’re right that he is too concerned for himself to truly understand why what he said was so wrong. But regardless of how well he worded himself in his apology, Jenifer didn’t want to get back with him. At least she knew that he was sorry. Alejo had to just settle with that.

Jenifer’s mind was almost changed. She felt bad for him and wanted things back the way they were so badly, but her friends told her that it was not worth it. Reluctantly, she distanced herself from him to protect her peace. It was definitely the right decision in the end.

Her friends were right, and if she had have went back to him, they probably would have just ended up not working again. She would’ve felt too worried to express herself properly to him and it would have weighed her down, and Alejo wouldn’t get why she was acting so different and weird to before.

2: It’s not that they were totally no contact after they broke up. They existed in similar spaces and had mutual friends still, but they weren’t really able to become proper friends with each other again. Anyway, Alejo slowly started moving away from their similar friends groups the more he spent time with Agustín and Mateo and their friends, especially after they had left school. Meanwhile Jenifer kept her closest friends from school.

The two of them just branched out into different social circles as they made their way into adulthood, and that’s when they essentially stopped seeing each other altogether. Not necessarily out of avoiding each other, but from moving on.

3: Alejo moved on quicker than Jenifer did, evident by his relationship with Nieves only months after Jenifer broke up with him. He was heartbroken over losing Jenifer, but at the same time he felt relieved in a way and he probably convinced himself that he was better off without her, happier and with less stress. Another reason he could move on so quickly is due to his underlying insecurity of being alone, except he doesn’t really realise that he has that.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

One Reason Why Alejo and Jenifer broke up

TW: mentions of sh

Jenifer hadn’t the greatest mental health. Throughout her teen years she struggled with things like insecurities, making friends, a strained relationship with her mother, being picked on and essentially bullied in school. It all took a toll on her mentality, and one way that she coped with everything was through self harm.

Meanwhile, Alejo also went through ridicule from his peers for how he dressed and acted, he had insecurities too. His home life wasn’t so great either since his father was an alcoholic. Because of this, he never truly felt comfortable in either home or school. He chose to try to ignore his bad feelings so that he wouldn’t be seen as weak for bringing them up.

Basically, both of them had a lot to deal with, the main difference being that Jenifer wasn’t able to cope as well as Alejo did.

However, both Jenifer and Alejo on first glance present as very happy and outgoing. This is exactly how their friends and classmates perceived of them (alongside thinking they were totally weird), and since neither of them would discuss their personal feelings or problems, nobody would ever know of them.

When the two had started dating, they were both still very secretive about their negative feelings. Bit by bit, it would become more obvious that Jenifer was not doing so well. Eventually, Alejo asked her if she was okay, then she had shown him the scars on her thighs, and along with that had explained to him why she had made them. Alejo didn’t judge her or anything else awful that Jenifer had imagined, he just listened. At first, she would barely go into any detail about anything. Alejo told her that she could tell him about whatever weighed on her mind, and she did.

It was very normal and healthy for both of them at first. Jenifer would occasionally come to Alejo with a worry she had or to tell him that her day had been shitty, and he would help her to feel better and make sure to spend good time with her. Alejo was the only person that Jenifer felt like she could be completely honest with without receiving any judgement. He was the only person who ended up learning of the extent of what she felt at the time.

Over time, the things that Jenifer would tell Alejo would become more and more intense. She didn’t have any bad intentions by telling him these things, she obviously wasn’t trying to worry him or stress him, she just wanted to be honest with him. She would apologise for talking about herself so much, she sometimes felt as though she was telling him things that he’d best not know. However, Alejo would tell her that it was fine and that it was good to get out her worries. The problem was that he was not actually prepared to hear the extent of it.

Alejo did not know how to set boundaries. He had never had a decent example set by his parents at home since, again, his father was an alcoholic and his mother would simply put up with him rather than doing what would’ve been best for her. So, Alejo thought that he could, or should, be the sole person that Jenifer could confide in. He could be the one to take on all of her stress and sadness on top of all of his own. He thought that he could handle it, but he couldn’t. His intentions were good, trying to be there for her, but really it would keep him up at night if Jenifer had told him something especially worrying that day. He felt helpless at times. If they were to talk over text messages while Jenifer was in a particularly bad state, it would leave Alejo in tears on the other end of the phone, something he would never admit. He was overcome with anxiety over Jenifer and constantly worrying over if she was going to do something dangerous or not.

Jenifer isn’t entirely at fault here though, since she didn’t have any idea that she was affecting Alejo so badly. At the same time, she was so caught up in herself that she didn’t even think to check up on him now and again. This isn’t to say that she was selfish, but that she was in a dark place that was difficult to see out of. Had she not been so out of sorts, she would have absolutely cared to see to Alejo and make sure that he was alright. However, even if she had asked him if he were okay with her telling him all of this, he would have said yes regardless of if he was okay or not. He wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her that it was too much for him, she shouldn’t feel like she has to filter herself or feel bad for expressing herself.

Eventually, the pressure on Alejo built up so much that his anxiety and concern turned into frustration. One flaw of Alejo is that he has a tendency to put himself first, and in this case that presented as him becoming angry and insensitive towards Jenifer. One day, Alejo noticed that she had fresh cuts and he asked her about them. She told him that she’d had a terrible few days in the last week and that it became too much for her and she ended up cutting because of it. She didn’t want to make it a big deal. Suddenly, Alejo’s tone of voice became annoyed. He told her that she didn’t listen to him, that he had to repeat himself all of the time and she never listened (he would convince her that she should find different, safer ways to cope). Of course, Jenifer was taken aback by this and became upset. It’s not as simple as that, she can’t just decide one day to stop and then never do it again, it would be a process of recovery. Alejo knew this, but in the moment he was stressed, angry and upset and he said things that he didn’t mean. Jenifer was absolutely devastated, she felt betrayed and hurt. She apologised to him (although really he should be the one apologising to her.) She thought she could trust him with anything, and he was so kind before. Now she didn’t know what to think, and her trust was broken. Alejo felt awful about everything he said, but he felt like he couldn’t take it back now.

Jenifer broke up with Alejo after this. Sure, she had low self esteem, but she knew that she couldn’t have somebody treat her like that and take it. In the end, their relationship lasted around about a year. Both of them were heartbroken.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

I’ve decided to create hashtags for my ocs. tangy-(name here) so that posts about each oc can be found easily.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

[all-we-know-is-falling]

This is a short thing I wrote many months ago:

Mateo is playing fifa on his playstation and Agustín is laying close to him, Mateo’s arm is around his shoulders… it’s a little uncomfortable to reach around to use the controller like this but the moment’s too sweet to interrupt or complain. He doesn’t mind that much. Agustín was using his phone but now he’s put it down, he must be bored with it. He shifts his gaze upward to meet Mateo’s face, which was contorted with concentration as he played. He still managed to look pretty, even like that. Without saying a word, Agustín lifts his head to kiss just near Mateo’s chin. The other boy breaks out into a small smile at this. “What’s that for?” He asks, still smiling. “Felt like it..” Agustín replies to him. He’s still propped up and Mateo is leaning to the side now to try and see the screen better. “Straighten out again” Agustín asks him, and he does. Then Agustín kisses him again, on the lips this time. It’s not just a single kiss though, he keeps going, and Mateo quickly pauses his game so that he can return it. The sound of the game’s menu music fills the space as both of them smile into the kiss. Mateo sets his controller down, with his arm still around Agustín’s shoulders, and he places his free hand atop of the thigh of the other. Only the comfy material of his pants prevents any skin contact. Agustin holds Mateo’s face beneath his own and he moves to be more on top of him. They keep breathily laughing to themselves as their kiss gets deeper. After a little longer doing it like that, they start to use their tongues some more. Mateo likes to run his fingers through Agustín’s thick hair. It’s all so very intimate.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

I can’t believe I’ve NEVER posted this before. What the flip. Anyway. This is from Agustín’s point of view, since he’s the main character and I find it easiest to write in first person. This is pretty old now and I’m not sure exactly how much of it is true to their story now, but I can tell you for sure that every single bit of Agustín’s confused and timid feelings towards Mateo and the idea of being alone with him are very real. That’s kind of the whole point LOL.

Solo, Juntos

I find myself in Mateo’s living room, with him of course. It’s cozy at his place. There is just stuff everywhere so it always feels more comfortable than it feels at mine.

Maybe that’s because there’s never really a quiet moment where I get to be home alone, and Mateo’s parents often have days when they’re both out at work until late, like right now.

Mateo says that when his parents are out, he’ll sometimes take advantage and invite his friends over. Apparently, he’s got a secret ‘stash’ hidden somewhere in his room. I don’t doubt him. “Don’t worry, it’s never too crazy.” He assures me.

Instead of inviting his long-time friend group round, he chose to invite me, I think to myself. We’ve been friends for a while now, but it still makes me feel a little… honoured, if that’s the word. I’m not entirely sure what we are right now, though, and I’m not sure if friends is the right term.

Mateo offers me a glass of water, and I accept it gratefully. The humid heat outside had me sweating on the way here, and my throat is feeling dry.

Bright warm light lights up sections of the tiled floor as the sun is placed high in the sky. It’s the middle of the day which explains why some of my hair is practically plastered to my forehead.

I take a seat on Mateo’s plush couch. It’s the kind that makes you feel like you’re sinking into it, and the quirky looking cushions sport different textures and shapes and colours.

He comes through with two glasses of clear, cool water and sets them down on the coffee table in front of the couch, among the random clutter which covers the surface.

The interior of his house is really busy and there’s a lot to take in, but it isn’t messy. Everything matches up and works together in its own way. Perhaps his parents are secretly insane interior designers…

This is the first time we’ve truly been alone together. Like, absolutely alone, no one else in the building, or anywhere near us. I don’t know how he’s feeling right now, but for me, I feel like I’m floating. Like falling, the kind of butterflies you get on a steep fair ride. Maybe I’m nervous, but I’m not sure what for. I take sips of my water, soothing my throat.

Mateo’s voice interrupts my thoughts, “If you were a stray cat outside, where would you choose to sunbathe?”

My eyes flick up at him and I furrow my brow, confused. He always asks the most random questions.

“Why would you ask that?” I pause for a second. “I’d probably find a flat warm stone… or pavement.”

Mateo grins when I give an answer, then he makes one up too. “I would go to the beach.”

He completely ignored my question.

Whatever.

“I’ve never imagined you to be a cat person.” I tell him.

“Yeah, I like them. They have cute faces and they’re calm, and reserved. They’re kind of the opposite of me!” He explains, then adds, “Minus the cute face, of course.”

I let out a small chuckle and try not to smile too hard, it’s as if I physically can’t straighten out my mouth. It’s no secret that I find Mateo hilarious, he always catches me laughing to myself about something he said way too long ago for it to still be funny. It’s a little embarrassing, but I can’t help it.

His almost-green eyes sparkle as he watches me laugh, which brings back the butterflies from earlier. “Oh yeah?” I say. “Well I like dogs.”

I don’t know why I prefer dogs.

“And I never expected you to be a dog person.” Mateo smiles at me. I break eye contact, my face feels flushed.

“No but seriously, what’s with your weird questions?” I ask him again. Hopefully he will give me the response I want this time.

“Weird questions can tell you a lot about a person, based on how they answer them.” He tells me, his voice authentic. “Even just finding out whether someone will answer them at all can be telling. For example, you. You’re one of the only people who genuinely gives me a real answer, like just now.”

“Right…” I can kind of see where he’s coming from. “Is that a good or bad thing?” He pouts as if he’s thinking.

“Yeah, it’s definitely a good thing. Also your answers are always super cute.”

I’m sure my eyes must have widened at that last part. I hope not but knowing my luck there’ll have been something which completely gave away how I feel about Mateo Ramírez calling something I do ‘cute’.

He’s always so genuine and real in the way he speaks, which is great because then I get to hear him say things like that to me, and I’ll never not get flustered when he does, but that also means that he might not mean it in any significant way, if you know what I mean. He talks like that to everyone, so I can’t ever get my hopes up. Things between us are complicated and I don’t really want to think about it.

Anyway, we continue to chat together, showing each other stuff we find funny on our phones, and listening to music in the back for an hour or two.

It doesn’t take long before we’re both in hysterics at something ridiculous which had been brought up in one of our many conversations. Mateo practically keels over laughing and lands his head on my shoulder as he grabs me, one hand at my arm and one at my chest. He’s the type to laugh with his whole body and it’s so funny.

Once we had both stopped gasping for breath, we settled finally. We were sitting very close to each other now, though. I think my palms started sweating.

*

I don’t know what to do. Everything in me is screaming at me to get up and run away, it’s too much. This is what I’ve wanted, though, isn’t it? Mateo has come too close, his face, his lips, only inches from my own. I’m not sure where to put my hands. Definitely nowhere near him, they’re sweaty and, anyways, I feel as if both of them are glued firmly to the sofa behind my back.

I try not to lean backwards even further, the closer Mateo gets. I don’t want it to look like I don’t want to do this, whatever this is. Do I want to do this? I’m unsure but I don’t have time to wonder, my thoughts are going ten to the dozen and I’m sure Mateo can probably hear my heartbeat racing. Yet my head feels as if it’s full of thick clouds, so I can’t actually decipher anything that I’m thinking. Even my breathing starts to pick up pace, I feel frozen in place, I feel like everything is going to go wrong and I’m going to mess this up somehow, and then-

My breath hitches when I feel Mateo’s mouth pressed softly against my own. Before I can fully react, he’s kissing me. Properly kissing me. He moves his lips and I do the same back, after my initial shock. Neither of us stops to say anything.

I can’t seem to relax, I’m aware of how tense I am, and Mateo seems to be as well. This must be why he pauses to ask me, “Is this alright?”

Now I feel bad because he looks nervous too. Or maybe he was always nervous but I was too caught up in my own head to notice. I don’t think that I can actually comprehend anything that’s going on right now, though.

“Yeah. Sorry.” I’ve never said something more awkwardly in my entire life. I can’t believe I really just responded like that.

I smile and try to relax a little. I also free my hands from behind my back, but this sends me sinking further into the sofa. Oof.

Now I feel like Mateo is above me. He’s looking down and smiling back at me. I simultaneously wish the sofa would swallow me whole, and that this moment would never end. He lets out a little laugh, presumably at me falling into the mass of cushions beneath me.

We don’t say anything else, but there seems to be a shared understanding that we both want this. I take in his gaze for a second before he leans down again to kiss me more. Mateo uses one arm to hold himself up, then I feel his free hand touch my face. The extra contact of his palm against my cheek and his fingers reaching my hair makes my head cloud up again with millions of new, undecipherable thoughts.

Instead, I decide to let it be; I want to live in the moment rather than in my head. I reach my hands to Mateo’s shoulders, broad and firm, then to near his neck. I pull him closer as he uses his supporting arm to lower himself. He hovers over me, the kiss only getting deeper, and runs his fingers through my dark, thick hair. The butterflies that have been living inside of me the whole time, since being invited into his house, evaporate; I’m in the moment now. Everything finally feels right.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Alejo and alcohol

Alejo’s father is an alcoholic, so his relationship with and attitudes towards alcohol have never been great.

He was often encouraged to drink from a young age, his father would tell him at family gatherings and such to “Stop being boring. Have a drink, loosen up.”

He also began to view drinking as his way of being ‘normal’. Not only did his dad tolerate him more by doing as he asked, but kids from school could even consider him ‘cool’ for doing it, and for being so well-versed in alcohol, in a way.

Alejo always wanted to be his own person, he dressed his own way and liked his own things. This was important to him, not even for his dad would he change any of that. However, drinking was one way in which he could fit in more and not have to go out of his way to do so.

It wasn’t like he hated drinking, he actually enjoyed it. This was fine, but his total relaxedness towards monitoring his alcohol intake would eventually become a problem.

He knew his dad’s behaviour wasn’t favourable, but once it came to himself it didn’t matter. (Another example of his hypocrisy)

[all-we-know-is-falling]

Hello instagram mutuals who followed me here, and for the people who see this and don’t know me, I am throwing you completely into the deep end!

I have made a timeline for Alejo’s romantic relationships!!! Hooray!!! It doesn’t explain anything except for this, but if you have any questions then do ask :3

Violeta, 2010, 2011-2012

Alejo had a girlfriend when he was a young teenager — about 14. Her name was Violeta, and it didn’t last long or go too far. They got back together aged 15-16, and this is why he had had more experience than Jenifer that time.

Jenifer, 2013-2014

Jenifer became Alejo’s girlfriend between ages 17-18 for about a year. They had known each other all through school but weren’t that close until now. The break up was messy.

Nieves, 2014-2015

Only months after things with Jenifer ended, Alejo had a new girl, Nieves. They might not have lasted as long as the previous two did, but their time together was intense. Alejo had almost turned into a different person between 18 and 19.

Penélope, 2016

When Alejo was 20, he met Penélope. She left her boyfriend for him, although she would’ve left him eventually, regardless. He was lame. They moved too fast and their love died out. Penélope felt under-appreciated, and Alejo had an array of issues to go through.

Renata, 2019-2021

When Alejo was 23 and had sobered up and was generally doing a lot better than he was before, he was ready to get into another relationship. Unlike with almost all of the girls in the past, he didn’t mess this one up. However, the two mutually decided to split, since they were at different stages in life.

Jenifer, 2024-

He reconnected with Jenifer as friends when he was 26, in 2022. In 2023, Jenifer had split from her fiancé, and once she had dealt with her sadness and grief over the end of her longest relationship, she and Alejo decided to give theirs another go. It was 10 years since they last dated and they had changed and matured. They got back together some time between ages 27 and 28.

[all-we-know-is-falling]

28.5.24

I came up with an idea for a new story today. Well, actually it was yesterday since it’s currently 3am, but still. There’s really not much to it right now but I’m excited to think about it more and add to it.

Some context about me: I create stories for my original characters (OCs), and my favourite thing to focus on are relationships. Not just romantic ones, any type of relationship. However, not many of my stories really have a definitive start or ending. Not yet, anyway.

So, for this new story I’d like to try and give it a proper story arc, and perhaps to keep it short and simple. So far I know that I definitely want the main characters to be two girls. They are in American high school and they have a secret romance together! Maybe a city like San Diego. I’m not sure the time period but I do know that it is likely in the past, maybe during the 2000s or something like that, since that’s a time I haven’t set a story in yet. I don’t know how either of the girls will be as characters, but I know that the environment they live in is less than favourable. The whole reason their relationship is so secret and completely behind closed doors is because it seems as though no one else in their lives would understand it.

I was inspired partially by the song Stained Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears by Pierce The Veil, and partially by learning about the biphobia of the 2000s and all things related to it in a video I watched by verilybitchy on YouTube (which was very interesting, go watch!)

I can’t wait to do more with this, even if the things I come up with are clichéd. I only make these stories for myself, and I share with a couple of close friends who do the same thing.