#Like what was the necessity?
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how my grandmother feels after bringing chaos (the bad kind) into a house which has been happy and peaceful since 3 months-
#Nah be so fr#that too when we have family events coming up#She watches too much of those over dramatic tv shows#Like what was the necessity?
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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So lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts asking people to stop trying to make Odysseus look nice in their works cuz he’s a “messed-up person in the mythology”. Your opinion is valid however I have but one thing to point out:
You want to know who started all this? Who started to “make Odysseus look nice” in the first place?
It’s Homer. It’s nobody else but Homer himself.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would try to murder people out of his own interests. He’d murder Palamedes without remorse (and we’d be cheering over this but it’s a murder after all), he’d attempt to murder Diomedes just to get the Palladium himself, he’d volunteer to kill Astyanax…meanwhile you wouldn’t find any mention of either Palamedes or Nauplius in Homer’s poems, neither did he mention anything abt the Palladium heist (and Diomedes necessity did not happen until Conon’s version), the death of Astyanax, the distribution of war prizes, etc. And all the details in the Odyssey seemed to deny the existence of Nauplius’s vengeance at all, so Odysseus would not take any of the blame.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would be depicted as “cruel, treacherous”, meanwhile in book 10 of the Iliad Odysseus was not mentioned to have killed anyone during the marauding, neither did he promise Dolan anything at all. The negative interpretations are denied by these details subtly put by Homer.
A non-Homeric Odysseus would be widely known as a “coward” for only shooting arrows from afar. But Homer gave him a spear and had him absolutely slaying in both the Iliad and the Odyssey. That part of Ajax’s speech was invalid already.
Most importantly—a non-Homeric Odysseus would be having kids everywhere else, and the loyalty to his own wife as seen in the Odyssey is no where to be found. Meanwhile his lineage was a single-son line made by Zeus in the Odyssey, and his love for Penelope was one of his main drives, especially seen in book 5 of the Odyssey. He loved his family as a loving parent—something you don’t get to see in most of the non-Homeric writings—for most of the time they followed a different tradition indeed, in which Odysseus wasn’t half as nice as in the Odyssey.
TL;DR: in case you haven’t noticed, the characterization of the Homeric Odysseus was quite different from a non-Homeric version of Odysseus. It’s not that Homer didn’t know of the existence of other versions—he knew them too well, which is why in his version of the story, you don’t get to see any mention of them.
#and now hot take: your opinion is invalid cuz there isn’t supposed to be such a term as “nice” when describing a person#he did not join the war willingly and the war crimes he did were out of necessity#no god has judged him on these “war crimes” so neither should you#not especially when you’re basing it on your modernized view of this matter while the ideology of heroes is so different in ancient times#there isn’t such a term as “nice” or “not nice” when it comes to an Ancient Greek hero#they’re complicated persons with feats on their shoulders and family of their own#tagamemnon#the iliad#the odyssey#homer’s iliad#homer’s odyssey#the epic cycle#homer#odysseus#epic the musical#tagging epic cuz I’ve seen such opinions directing at Epic!Odysseus—but how on earth was he a “nice” person#he did much horrible things in act 2 and isn’t that what you would like to see or did I smell double standards?#*shrugs* I do not direct this at anyone—just at some specific opinions I’ve read online#anyways there’ll always be arguments but let’s just agree on the fact that he’s a grey character and he did stay grey in these adaptations#so fricking tired of these negative commentaries which are not constructive at all#Lyculī sermōnēs
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I feel like a lot of people mistake comic relief or goofiness for lack of effort or caring by the creator, and that belies a real lack of understanding of like, writing and humor and art in general.
#i'm thinking about how on 4sd travis and sam talked about the work they put into chet and fcg and veth#all of whom have been treated really dismissively in weird ways#and the people who are like haha they're a dumb joke character invariably stan characters with WAY less effort put in#which is fine! you should like what you like!#but you're not grading on effort clearly so stop pretending you are! it's fine!#this is actually this blog's mission statement. like what you like but stop justifying it with blatant lies#hell for all braius is by necessity not the deepest of characters sam clearly cared enough to rewrite his spoiled backstory!#like i find it just. really...suspicious isn't quite the right word but i'm not landing on the correct one#how people jump to equate their personal preferences with thought and care and effort and quality in the absence of evidence#like man it's ok if you did a wine tasting and your fave was the three buck chuck. drink that and live your truth
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Bridgerton states from season one, through Simon and Lady Danbury, to season two, with the Sharmas, to Queen Charlotte, from the beginning episode to the end spelled out clear as day, that racism exists in this world and many of the characters of colors have been impacted by it in some way. And, supposedly, I'm supposed to believe that Marina, that Kate and Edwina, that they all had more privilege and power than Penelope? No, I don't think so, a lot of things aren't right with that statement.
#bridgerton#kate sharma#edwina sharma#lady danbury#queen charlotte#penelope featherington#penelope stans and/or polin stans do not interact if you can't be respectful!#even with her family's financial situation they still have more privilege & power than marina and the sharmas#pen didn't have the weight of finding a proper match be the end all be all for her fam (like edwina & kate)#penelope does whisltedown bc she wants too kate had to do the things she did bc she HAD to to support her family#marina even with being cousin to the featheringtons was about to be passed off to a man older than her with little guarantee that he's good#or would treat her and her child as they deserved#the whole point of the marriage market was to find someone who can provide for u bc that's your only option#literally what marina does#a common theme of all these black and brown women having to work to provide for themselves out of necessity#pen was writing before her family's situation was even known and writing nasty things primarily about women#also the “kate is a bridgerton now” falls flat bc all of this happened before she and anthony married#even still the stuff that pen wrote about her was wrong (and racially coded too)#anti penelope featherington
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain#so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash#i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent#what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving#is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt#and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists#so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character#so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of#'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid#and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like#the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of#being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths#then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part#and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts#and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine#this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer#and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like#how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil#and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit#like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma#but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel#and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple#bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed#but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal
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every day i become more convinced letty fetishised ramy bc tell me why i just found out that the royal pavilion is in brighton which is WHERE LETTY'S FROM
btw the royal pavilion looks like THIS
rf kuang really chose her details right bc letty could've been from anywhere in england but no she was like let me pick brighton where a prominent example of orientalism architecture was built
#im gonna shoot myself in the head /j#ramiz rafi mirza#letitia price#babel rf kuang#generally rf kuang amazes me with how much shit she packs into the little details#and you mean to tell me she isn't a good writer like the classics writers are. LMAO OKAY#also the interior of the royal pavilion are heavily inspired by chinese aesthetics. i could be making a metaphor out of this what am i doin#babel an arcane history#babel or the necessity of violence
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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you know im thinking. im thinking maybe Yoichi wasn't even that into captain hero as an adult, but AfO kept bringing LITERALLY every conversation back to that because he decided to Be The Demon Lord and so Yoichi like, can't get an argument in unless he uses the same material so he's like 'oh my god i haven't even thought about that comic in ten years but even i know the bad guy didn't win. you should not be basing you whole identity, business model, and world destruction plan on your five-second impression of a comic book bad guy who didn't even win! also you shouldn't kill people!'
#AfO has a very flat picture of Yoichi in his head#His Possession. Weak and small. and taught him language reading and socialization with Captain Hero#he's THORS POPTARTS-ing his own brother in his memories#what sort of art styles did yoichi like? how did he interact with gender? did he like his eyes or did he wish they were different? was he a#morning person or a night person? were there clothing textures he loved or couldn't stand? did he like to collect feathers or leaves? did h#ever pick up any sense of religious knowledge from his assorted readings? cultural identity? did he learn how to cook in theory but never#had the materials to practice? or did he cook once they were older as AfO sort of internalized that as yoichi's subservient role?#or did he make absolute monstrosities when he attempted to bake anything?#We dont know because all we see of Yoichi is:#his brother's memories of him. could be flanderization for all we know#and an imprint of Yoichi in ofa#who by necessity has to be focused on his brother#we'll never get to see the whole picture of the dead holders. they're dead. and we can't change that. can't know their vibrant lives#so yeah lets see. a five+one fic about yoichi's changing relationship with media property captain hero over time in his life and death#compared to afo's static impression of yoichi's relationship / afo's own unchanging relationship with it#hmmmm
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caffeine addiction is so fucking funny. every morning for years i have woken up and had a similar type of drink with a similar amount of a substance in it and then i am comforted knowing i will not endure a headache or excessive sleepiness. it makes my hands shake sometimes but i've found that to be not worth worrying about. if i don't have it i'm tired and in pain for a few days, but otherwise it doesnt interfere with my life. i tell people this and they go "ok cool." being chemically addicted to this one specific substance is completely fine societally. nobody told me to, like, keep a strong watch over myself and my self-control when i had my first monster, i figured out myself that i need to keep my caffeine consumption at or under a certain level and it's literally fine.
HOWEVER the first time i had WEED my friends who dont have weed were like "oh... please be careful..... make sure to limit yourself... its addictive and youre mentally unwell... wdym you have it between once a month and a few times a week thats a lot... you dont want an addiction....." Like between these two substances, if i dont have caffeine for a day i get a pounding headache and im fairly irritable for a few days. i have to make sure i never run out of caffeinated beverages to avoid that. if i dont have weed for a few days in a row it literally doesnt register as a problem. because every week there are several days in a row where i dont have weed. whereas if i have it too many days in a row i go "oh this is starting to feel kind of meh. i'll cut back a bit so my tolerance doesnt start rising". and its literally fine. like out of all the substances i consume on a semi regular basis one of them i need to function and the other one is like, ok theres nothing to do and im bored time to have the candy that makes me silly
#text#like i have a friend- bless her heart she just wants to make sure im ok i understand that- but shes Always like. checking on me to make sur#i havent developed an addiction to weed. which feeds my obsessive compulsive 'what if im addicted to weed i have to check and make#sure im not addicted to weed' spirals. This friend also budgets for caffeine in every shopping trip#ITS LIKE . OUT OF EITHER OF THESE SUBSTANCES . IM HAVING WAY MORE FUN WITH THE WEED WHEREAS THE CAFFEINE IS PRACITCALLY A NECESSITY
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THE TERROR (2018) S01E03 "The Ladder"
There'll be nothing. You hear? Nothing lives there. Nothing grows. You'll eat your shoes again. You'll eat worse.
#the terror#theterroredit#the terror amc#amc the terror#tvedit#tvgifs#sir john franklin#francis crozier#silna the terror#lady silence#cornelius hickey#james fitzjames#henry goodsir#william gibson#fitzier#mine#gif:terror#im giffing these while watching this show only for the second time and theres so much stuff i forgot/noticing only now#i really loved the moment where francis and sir john have that talk in this ep (about sending a rescue party)#and james was listening behind the door. possibly hearing all the arguments francis made that were very reasonable#so he might have finally more understand him despite saying nothing after that conversation. with either francis or sir john#and then francis returned to his ship with the plan of leading the rescue party himself. telling blanky that 'erebus has a spare captain'#i just really liked that. francis knowing what james can be capable of even without sir john. and by the episode well..#its a necessity to step up#yeah im glad i finally gave this show a chance#tw blood#tw gore
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Not Eurylochus’ first individual verse being about how the men need to eat and how they should steal out of necessity…
#Jorge when I catch you#opening and closing on his attitude out of necessity for the men#it does a good job for his characterization but it’s just like. this is what sets him up (in life) and takes him out#Eurylochus epic#epic the musical#eurylochus epic the musical#epic the thunder saga#my post#thunder saga#the thunder saga spoilers
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do you have any alecto/anastasia hcs?
I think my biggest hc is that Anastasia wanted to be present at laying Alecto down in the tomb, but something went not as planned, cause she helped design it and it's her house, where is she
and not quite a hc but I want Alecto snatch some of Anastasia's bones before leaving the tomb
but tbh the moment I got the ask my mind completely blanked out on everything I was thinking about them, I'll add more to this post if I remember some of it
but thank you for asking!
#but it's complicated cause I don't have a lot of understanding of how canaan house and the ninth was back then#and what timeline of events looked like so i keep rotating in my head dif scenarios with dif ideas#Anasatasia could've had her own way of calming Alecto during tantrums but Alecto still could accidentally hurt her in out rage#at least Anastasia is great at mending broken bones#them hanging out in the pool is everyone's hc#but once had an idea that telling the true started with them both submerged and Alecto just unpromptedly started bluntly blurting out stuff#but in the gist of 'I'm eating pencils' and then it escalated with time#someone said before that Alecto being sorry about Samael in her nature might mean that she somehow was responsible even if not in direct wa#it could be eating her out after Samael's death and seeing how heartbroken Anastasia was#so later on the ninth she drags Anastasia into the water and reveals something that makes Anastasia realize John fucked her over#Anastasia's breaking down and after on it could lead to the vow being made#cause I'm still thinking about that one line that John says 'Anastasia knew 'at the time' that killing Samael was a necessity'#like she could've figure out something#keep rotating in my mind conversation that goes like#Alecto: are you angry with me#Anastasia: yes. but I'm not being fair
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A Defense of Benny Gecko
Benny is more of a capable leader and person than people give him credit for.
Seeing as no one challenged his position as head Chairmen for 7 years and even then he only loses the position if he’s caught, killed or forced to leave. Yes, it’s also likely House wouldn’t have allowed him to be killed but he sure as hell would of found a way to remove him if he was causing too much unrest within The Tops power structure. Even Swank and Tommy don’t outright dislike him and more so are concerned with his recent secretive and shady behavior, emphasis on recent.
Taking all we know into consideration, Benny likely knew the future direction that he wanted to take Vegas but was so caught up in the plans to acquire Vegas that he didn’t think of how to make his dream a reality. Something he admits to in canon. I see this being used as the main argument that Benny doesn’t know what he’s doing at all but I see it more in the same vein as you can’t really plan something from nothing. The transformation of Vegas is a sensitive thing that he can’t really work on until he has it. The only reason he ran to the Fort prematurely is the Courier who was causing so much of a stir he would’ve likely been found out much faster, making all that planning for nothing if he didn’t take that chance.
Benny is careful (well a lot more careful than he is regularly depicted in fanon), the Courier being able to trace him was dumb luck on their part and his hair being noticed at the Fort is a realistically small oversight that even Caesar is disappointed in because he admits Benny got farther than he should’ve been allowed by his legionaries. The fact he can plan an ambush on the Courier or tries to quickly and concisely clean up lose ends that don’t lead back to him shows he’s not just acting on impulses or in the moment decisions. Or rather he’s quite good at thinking them out, whether they work depends on how you play really. This is all to say it’s 100% believable that Benny could lead an independent Vegas (house was basically setting him up to do that). If he had known explicitly that House was setting him up to replace him, he likely would’ve bought more time by getting in closer, learning more of the system to then flip House’s edge to his favor. Again something he was doing already but likely without the knowledge of House’s feelings on him personally.
No matter what, Vegas’ future was tied to Benny; House’s plans for him, having to get the chip and if he had somehow succeeded. It’s also interesting that of all the people vying for control of the dam/Vegas, Benny’s plans are the only ones actually oriented towards a new future, not a recreation of something long past.
#something something despite going against you Benny has the most in common with an independent player#he’s just like an asshole and also knows when he’s no longer in the driver seat so he leaves it to you#cause despite all his lame traits Benny got supper far in his plan and likely could’ve done it if the courier never got involved#if he didn’t have the need to run to the fort he would’ve waited to learn what the chip did and then made a more direct plan but when a big#clue to what he’s been up to cough the courier cough came he had to throw caution to the wind#this is sorta related to why house chose Benny and his plans for Benny cause likely the rest of house plans were gonna be#about getting Benny to adopt his ideals and views on Vegas before testing whether Benny could run it like him#and would’ve likely been proud of all the planning Benny did for Yes Man if it wasn’t for it being against him#all I can imagine is like Benny being more disappointed than anything with how house decided to run things and he holds nothing personal#towards house this is a necessity as house will never give up control kinda like bingo but I feel like Benny at least respected Bingo#something something bingo could’ve been a father figure making killing him more of a reason Benny would go against house cause he murders#a potential parental figure thinking it’s what he has to do for the betterment of his tribe only to feel like he led them to stagnation and#a longing for days gone by cause the guy who filled ur head with glittery promises ain’t sparkling no more#and makes the resistance to a parental house make more sense#fallout#fallout new vegas#benny gecko#benny fnv
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barbie doll gore mod where you can do his hair and put him in situations. it's exactly the same mod
#my routine is i wake up and i draw a gore who looks different from gore and also different from every other gore ive ever drawn#and then i play skyrim until my laptop fan sounds like it's gonna explode 👍#gore skyrim#skyrim gore#gore mod#doll implies a lack of agency but tbh it doesn't feel like that since as a companion he clearly will call you on shit/take responsibility#can't believe how much he claims his own decisions past and present. galaxy brain necessity but also that is so fucking tough on a person#i just replayed blood ties for the first time to see how the other choices go and hooooo boy those consequences are immediate and dire#also the dialogue is so realistically subtle#parts i wasn't sure exactly what he meant before bc he trailed off clicked this time nd holy shit.#so much gets conveyed in those relatively brief convos#i can't wait until im a high enough lvl for vigilant#zivs
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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