#Like making me feel like an object

[strawbrains]

Im still so irked by the memory of my ex calling me an incel for the way i dress and struggle with social skills (both products of my Autism) they made me so fucking insecure

[beebfreeb]

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[adhdandcomics]

whoever needs to hear this: if you got a disability, if you don’t know if you have something, if you ever think “it’s not that bad” if you have a thing about guilt, if you’re ill, Anything: listen. it is okay to throw things away.

you can throw it away. if it sucks and it stresses you the fuck out, if you just “need the right time to fix it” for the past 3 months. or years. if you loved it once upon a time but it makes you feel kinda weird and guilty now. if it’s a jacket youve reaaaally been meaning to mend and then donate. a jar of sauce that “all you have to do” is clean out to recycle but it’s been a week and now there’s a small colony growing in it. slowly shredding to bits fabric scraps you plan to use to fix something. busted picture frame. cracked mug. old shoes. extra box. an entire pack of granola bars that you hate so much but don’t want to waste.

life is already so goddamn difficult for us. i know you still care about recycling and the environment and sustainability. but it’s okay, i promise. sometimes you have to take care of your space. sometimes you have to cut your losses so you can actually have energy to recycle the next thing. get rid of the old shirt before it turns into a tornado pile of guilt under the bed. you’re not a bad person. you can throw this one away.

[durge-marzio]

Ohhh, I'm rereading Mystra's entry in the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide... and this detail:

This means Gale was punished for trying to restore and preserve what he thought was a lost piece of Mystra's magic. Gale being Mystra's ex-lover put aside. He as her follower, she his goddess, was punished for attempting to do the one foundational rule of her faith.

I'm seething and so sad at the same time.

Edit: I used the word punish loosely, as in, toxic/abusive people will take any small mistake or action and twist it into something they can take advantage of. This post was also largely from the stand point of a toxic deity rather than a toxic partner, but both takes are valid here. Especially with the, “you didn’t stay compliant so now I’m giving you the silent treatment” part of it—from a god and a partner perspective.

[suntails]

WIPs

[inkskinned]

i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.

and that should be fine; but it's never fine.

i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.

for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.

we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.

i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.

restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

every time i watch anything with him in it (admittingly, predominantly from the Dropout app), i am reminded that Lou Wilson is the most handsome man to have ever lived. like, objectively. he just is. i will hear no arguments for any other person to be ranked higher. Lou Wilson: whose face single-handedly shows humanity can go no higher in beauty. he is THE most attractive man in the world. argue with the wall lmao

[flintbian]

There's a disabled angel in good omens 🥺

[quartzitess]

They're still there. They're in there. They're in they're body but yet they're so far gone. the infections like a parasite and yet two was trying to fight it, they were scared and they wanted gaty. Not just to protect her but to feel the person that they felt close and comfortable around, and to take them both to the couch, they could've went for anyone. But they went for GATY. they could've killed her but they didn't. There's something so strangely endearing about that. Truly. Even when they're voice is being used to lure gaty in a sense I feel two geniunely wanted to help, they're so far gone, the little details, not just with how they move but with how they SPEAK. they're practically the host for a parasite and yet. They're still there.

[5hrignold]

homestars handwriting 2000 / 2005

[fumifooms]

What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.

What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.

By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.

They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay

Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.

Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕

I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?

"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.

[therealcallmekd]

And On Next.... The Weather!

doubt any of you woulda expected this one did ya!

[yellowssillysymphs]

TPOT 14 big spoilers . Gonna talk about Gattwo stuff because who else will HAHA!

On how Two 's treatment of Gaty is not actually condusive of a healthy stable friendship in the slightest, and actually reflects poorly on themself as a person

Two never once considers what GATY wants or how she feels. Clock had asked to stay and exhibited that he had things to atone for with Winner. Two kept Gaty around because they wanted to keep talking to her frequently.

The tpot elimination area is both (assuredly) safe from One AND more peaceful than cleaning up an endless pile of stuff all the time. At least with Clock, the cleaning was his way of earning his right to stay on set. Two never considered if she wants to be here like this. There was no scene like with Clock where Two was like: "hey I don't want to send you to the elimination area so instead you'll stay here" and instead its like "hey I did you this cool favour, which you neither expected nor asked for!" kind of shows their attitude towards Gaty.

Maybe Two also assumes that Gaty would be okay with this because 'their friendship is worth the struggle' or something like that. But again they just assume that this is what she wants and also doesn't think about how eliminated contestants are literally going missing.

With how much Gaty listens to Two, they don't really listen to her. Even if she was completely fine and happy with the new situation, the fact that they don't think about the consequences of this will directly result in her being taken by One anyway.

I love you Two "my-poor-decision-making-will-eventually-come-back to-haunt-me,-yet-I-will-learn-nothing-from-it-and-repeat-the-same-mistakes-over-and-over" Tpot

[babybells123]

(ASOS, Sansa II)

(ASOS, Jon XII)

[pepperpepi]

// sliiight RANT!!!! blah blah

guys i keep feeling like im going to get hit with a ton of stones or get left in the dust because i havent posted anything substantial or interesting in like. a few days or a week

need 2 stop putting so much pressure on myself on posting consistently like. that is not me i shouldn't b worrying about that BUT ITS SO HARD!!! AUGH!!!!!