#Like I'd love to start a fantasy life play through since the new one's coming out

[selvepnea]

Keep think about streaming games....

[foldingfittedsheets]

So I went to Geek Girl Con this year and the best panel we attended was one where Librarians recommend your next spicy romance read and since they provided a list I figured I'd share the list because why the hell not? I don’t know how long they will leave the link up sorry All synopsis will be what I remembered from the panel without any research into the title so buckle up! I feel like it's pretty obvious which ones I was more interested in based on what I remember.

Triple Sec - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

This is a poly plot wherein a cynical bartender gets swept up in a new romance with a lady in an open marriage and then sparks start between all three.

Band Sinister - Spice Level 4 Queer/Period

A period romance between two guys, the local playboy and our leading lad who meets the local playboy when his sister gets into an accident on the guy’s property. He finds a lovely community very different than the rake's reputation suggested and gets drawn into a romance against his better judgement.

Here We Go Again - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

A wlw romance between two girls with a history who need to go on a roadtrip together and reconnect on the drive. Childhood friends I think?

Payback's a Witch - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fantasy

A wlw romance between Emmy and Talia (I'm cheating I've read this one before and liked it). Emmy left her hometown and magic behind after an embarrassing rejection from the most powerful magical family's scion. She comes back into town and finds her best friend and the stunning Talia have both now been wronged by the same guy. They convince Emmy to join a pact to get back at him together and Emmy and Talia grow closer through the power of revenge.

Act Your Age Eve Brown - Spice Level 2 Het/Fiction

A chaotic autistic female lead runs into a by the book boy after one of them gets hit by the others car and she ends up staying with him. They form a very sweet bond and the representation was lauded as being very precious.

Merry Inkmas - Spice Level 4 Het/Fiction

A cool alternative barista gets fired in front of her crush for giving a homeless man a free coffee and her crush hires her on the spot to work for him instead. They start up a relationship that he warns has an expiration date which suits her fine- or does it? Hijinks ensue.

D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fiction

A wlw romance under false pretenses, they agree to get married for a reality TV show. There's an influencer and a shy one can’t remember who’s who, the shy one decided national television is a good way to come out to her family. As the competition continues real feelings start to rear their head between the two.

The Prospects - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fiction

Uhhhh baseball boys? The boys play baseball... mlm romance. Baseball.

Something Wild and Wonderful - Spice Level 3 Queer/Fiction

Two guys are both hiking a grueling trail from Mexico to Canada. After running into each other repeatedly they strike up a connection and eventually a relationship. One of the guys is still spiritual despite rejection from the church and it's healing for the other guy.

Prince and Assassin - Spice Level 4 Queer/Fantasy

An assassin is sent on a mission to take out a prince. While waiting for his orders to pull the dagger the two men grow closer and the assassin realizes he may not be able to kill off the prince as he learns more about him- but his sister's life is forfeit if he fails. Dramaaaaa

After Hours on Milagro Street - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

I cheated and had to refresh my memory as I fully forgot the plot. A bar is entrusted to new management in the form of a tattooed tough lady. A child of the family who's always run it takes issue with her management and sparks fly as they learn to compromise.

The Pairing - Spice Level Queer/Fiction

A couple breaks up before taking an amazing food tour across Europe and neither goes. With their tickets to the tour about to expire both decide to say screw it and go anyway, presuming that they couldn't possibly run into each other. They do. They they proceed to try to out slut each other while eating delicious food to prove how over each other they are. They aren't.

Hunt the Stars - Spice Level 3 Het/Sci fi

Human/alien pairing I think? As a bounty hunting crew takes a dangerous job and in the midst of peril find undeniable chemistry despite some fraught history between the two species.

A Holly Jolly Ever After - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

A previous child actor has found herself in a loveless marriage. She finally breaks free of her husband and takes a huge hit to her public image. She takes a job on a Hallmark style Christmas movie with another previous child star boyband. He has always had a crush on her and while paired as romantic leads on the film she admits to him she's never had an orgasm. We can see where this is going.

Morning Glory Milking Farm - Spice Level 5 Het/Fantasy

Stay with me. Minotaur. Milking. Farms. But it's not milk, guys. So a down on her luck girl takes a great paying job on a farm which I think is like phone sex? and makes a connection with one of the beefy boys get it. Genuinely tactful conversations around consent despite the goofy premise. Monster fuckers will enjoy.

Hate to Want You - Spice Level 5 Het/Fiction

Romeo and Juliet style warring families who hate each other because of grocery stores, I think. A boy and girl get together once a year and hate fuck each other about it but things get hard when she moves back into town for real and they keep bumping into each other.

Consort of Fire - Spice Level 5 Queer/Fantasy

A princess and knight go to take down a dragon but wind up falling for him instead? I feel like that's enough said. Poly dynamic and dragons, that's all it took for me to put in a hold.

Dating Dr. Dil - Spice Level 3 Het/Fiction

Fake dating a hot doctor to get her family off her back. 'Nough said.

Satisfaction Guaranteed - Spice Level 2 Queer/Fiction

A lady inherits a sex toy shop and drops her job to try to save it. The store manager doesn't think much of her and they both have to work together to get the shop back on its feet.

Role Playing - Spice Level 3 Het/Fiction

A forties lady joins a message board for gaming and strikes up a conversation with someone she assumes is a teenager. The guy thinks he's talking to a grandma. They meet and realize they're in the same age bracket and have a lot in common.

[pinehutch]

Okay so my Thing about Dragon Age is this:

Ten years ago, I was in constant extreme pain as I worked my way towards a rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis. I had spent the previous year working 12-18 hour days most days, between an unsustainable volunteer job and my daytime career. Sometime that fall, I started noticing that my hands were locking into fists while I slept, and that the fatigue was never getting better, and that walking was really hard, more days than not.

I tried to work through it, that first awful year. I mostly did, too. I had weeks when I couldn't walk unassisted, and months where I was sick all the time because we were trying different meds. I called the rheumatologist in tears more than once, feeling hopeless and like a failure because I couldn't tolerate some of the easier drugs. And in between it all, I worked.

On the days that I couldn't work, and if my hands would let me, I played Dragon Age.

I'm stubborn, and I don't usually watch or read or play things that other people recommend until the time feels right. Spring 2014, I needed something that would be immersive enough that it could distract me from my body but that wouldn't require too much complex problem solving. I needed gaming, and some very trusted people had recommended Dragon Age to me before, so I started Origins in March and by July I had played through Origins and DA2 and all the DLC I could get. Inquisition came out that fall, and I was hooked.

(It also was one of the first ways that I learned to distinguish between healthy pain and warning sign pain: I learned to put the controller down before my hands would be so irritated I couldn't use them at all the next day.)

So there I was, having the worst year of my life (at that point), and I got to fill up my brain with lore and distractions and become a hobbyist expert in the historiography and folklore and religion and politics of something that was entirely made up. I could invest, mentally and emotionally, but I didn't have to fix anything real, including my own unfixable problem. I just had to learn, and to play.

Dragon Age brought me into video games for grown-ups, and it brought me back to fiction writing. The first short story I had written since high school was DA fic. I came back to writing poetry, the love of my life, a couple of years later.

My life doesn't look that different from the outside vs what it was 10 years ago. I'm working out whether or not I'm okay with that; making big changes in your life is hard when you're chronically ill and have adhd and you work a complicated job with a lot of responsibility, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I had expected that my general weariness would stretch over into a kind of Dragon Apathy - that there would be news and I'd say 'oh, nice,' and then go back to work and the other little agonies.

Instead, I'm delighted? Surprised? Fond? Something I loved and that I needed during a really difficult time is here, again, while I'm anticipating another sea change. The thing that brought me some happiness, some wonder, and some escape can do it still, maybe.

Anyway. I collect my favourite DA stuff at @free-smarcher. I always roll a rogue on my first playthrough. (In real life I'm a giant brain on a giant, clumsy body; my fantasy is being able to go undetected.) I love Varric Tethras because he's a highly-accomplished fuckup with too many responsibilities and because he's bad at his personal life.

When Veilguard comes out I will almost certainly, at least once, play it until my hands seize.

[catgirlscout]

Johnshi Week 2024 | Day 3 | DnD Headcanons

Since the prompt for day 3 of #johnshiweek2024 by @johnshidaily was DnD Au, I thought I'd share some headcanons for Johnny and Kenshi.

You can also read them and chapter 2 on my Ao3!

Johnny would definitely go all out. He would make up a whole intricate backstory, act out his role, and put on a full cosplay for every session. His dice match his character, and he even bought and painted a miniature himself.

I can imagine that he would also love to be the DM and create his own little TTRPG campaigns. He loves improvising and gives each side character a distinct voice. Everyone always gets super intense during fights, and he feels very proud of himself for being able to pull his friends into the scene. If they would struggle making a character sheet, he would help them and throw in some prompts.

Back in school, he used to be a real nerd about DnD. He still has all of the books. This is really where his love for screenwriting comes from.

As for his character, he is really diverse. He loves to make new ones and figure out every little detail about them. In a game with the MK1 cast, I think he’d be either a Paladin or a Bard. I’d personally choose Paladin over Fighter in his case, because he wants to fight for the right cause and be a knight of the people. And if he’s playing as a Bard, he’s definitely gonna try to romance everything and anything!

He loves playing as any race that isn’t fully human for the fantasy experience. Non-human species have a special place in his heart. So, his choices would probably be Halfling, Orc, or Dragonborn. Perhaps even Elf, but he would probably stray away from your typical perfect, never-aging Elf, even though he’s fancy like that. But he prefers the whole underdog, having to train hard to become the hero storyline. Twist villains or morally gray characters are also totally his thing.

Kenshi, on the other hand, never had time for games in his youth due to growing up with the Yakuza breathing down his family’s neck. But of course he let his best friend Johnny talk him into it. He’s pretty new to DnD and doesn’t quite get the rules yet, but once he’s in the zone, he really gets sucked into the world-building, exploring everything there is and leaving no stone unturned and chest unopened. It’s become his escape from reality in a way, at least for a little while.

His character would probably be pretty true to himself, and he would make choices based on what he would do in real life. Of course he always fights with a sword, preferably an old family blade that wields some type of magic. He doesn’t roleplay so much, although he begins talking very epically when he’s making important decisions. From that point on, his character goes through a lot of development.

For class, Johnny advised him to go with Warlock, but Rogue would also be a good alternative. Race-wise, he would most definitely go with Tiefling, as that is closest to what he feels like, and the fiendish ancestral origins fit best with his actual background. When given the option, Kenshi also always chooses to lose his eyesight one way or another, if he doesn’t start out blind. Both Liu Kang and Johnny have continuously told him he doesn’t need to, but he does it anyway. The self-insert is real!

[godsgamefreak]

After 1354 saves and just over 60 hours, I finally finished my Dragon Age II re-play, the first of its kind since the game came out 13 years ago. I toyed with it for a bit longer, I know I bought the Mark of the Assassin DLC and I think I even finished it, but I barely remembered it. But not a single proper playthrough in 13 years.

In that time DA2 of course got ripped apart by the media for the glaring issues of developing a massive RPG in 16-18 months, like the re-used assets (particularly in dungeons) but I had remembered enjoying it well enough as I played. Though, I also had issues with a lot of the Companions at the time too.

After being quite soured in my playthrough of Inquisition a few years later, I had fully dropped the series, with little to no interest in anything it was doing (granted it wasn't a lot, with Veilguard only just recently being properly announced) outside of the animated series on Netflix which was neat. But with Veilguard around the corner, and over 10 years of life under my belt, I thought... why not give it another try, see what's different?

Turns out both not much and also a fair bit. The not much was how much I enjoyed it - while certain mechanics don't work the way I'd like or aren't communicated as well (I'm very sad I couldn't truly be a proper tank, since enemy threat was constantly all over the place) I still had FUN with it. Since I remembered being meh on a lot of the Companions, I made sure to keep a particular eye on them this time around and I came to realize I understood them all a lot more this time around.

Merrill held a conviction, though a dangerous one, and while commendable to hold to it despite understanding the dangers... was completely blind to so much more. A great comparison to Anders, who was so much WORSE than I remembered, finally coming to a head if you question him during his Act 3 companion quest. I literally had to get up out of my chair in anger when he tries to threaten your friendship over his cause ("trust me even though I lied to you" like fuck off man).

Fenris was still overly grumpy about so much, but the reasoning is still solid, and it was nice to see him loosen up a little here and there. Agreeing to drop the mage freedom topic with Isabela and deflecting with a game of "guess my undergarments colour" was wonderful. Speaking of Isabela, I'm definitely older and care less about her darker side than I did as a "young and pure paladin" of 20 years old. I even romanced her, due in part to a similarity to one of my wife's OC's. Her romance story ends so sweet too, and her story is quite interesting. I wish the game had more time to expand on both Fenris and Isabela's stories and personal growth.

Varric and Aveline are still great, I love how they individually check in on Hawke through the game. They feel like the closest friends you have, in that they check on you just as much as you check on them, with no other major goals taking up their time and attention. Though the Aveline vs Isabela lines feel like they get a little too catty, there was one scene of them laughing over a drink once that made me happy to see they could get along.

My biggest regret is that Bethany is so absent from Act 2 and most of Act 3, not even making an on-screen appearance over your mother's death - the quest of which still hits pretty hard, though I didn't fully realize it until afterwards.

All in all, it was wonderful to re-play it, re-experience it, and play it in its complete form start-to-finish, and did exactly what I hoped: re-ignited my desire to care about this dark fantasy world, and make me excited to play Inquisition again. This time with less faffing about, more paying attention, and spending more time with Companions (and other major characters). I barely remember what happened in the game, so it's almost like finishing a re-play of DA2 before the big new game comes out. I hope I really find something I missed in my first DAI playthrough that makes me love it after hating it for 10 years.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every single book I read in 2022. all 129 of them.

jesus christ

let's start with the best of the best; everything else will get listed beneath the read more because I'm not an animal. even just picking out my favorites is honestly probably going to get pretty lengthy, even though I'm trying to keep the synopses short.

batmanisagatewaydrug's noteworthy books of 2022

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - necessary for anyone doing diversity work in higher education, tbh

America is Not the Heart (Elaine Castillo, 2018) - achingly gorgeous novel of heartbreak and healing.

The School for Good Mothers (Jessamine Chan, 2022) - honestly? I feel very good calling this my favorite book of the entire year. sensitive, smart, chilling.

Black Feminist Thought (Patricia Hill Collins, 1990) - truly ashamed to say I didn't read this sooner. Collins' clear-eyed analysis remains crazily spot-on 30+ years later.

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021) - I read this book so early in 2022 and literally have not stopped thinking about it since.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - dare I say the most fun I had with a comic all year.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - a romance unlike any other. queer, fun, sexy, bold as hell, and joyfully life-affirming.

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell, 2021) - DELICIOUSLY creepy short stories that will lurk in your brain forever.

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu, 2022) - if a more perfect short story collection exists I am yet to find it.

The World We Make (N.K. Jemisin, 2022) - I normally hesitate to include sequels on a list like this, but god DAMN Jemisin is the queen of modern spec fic for a reason.

We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice (Mariame Kaba, edited by Tamara K. Nopper, 2021) - excellent collection of Kaba's abolitionist writings, drawing on years of organizing experience and wisdom.

Jade City (Fonda Lee, 2017) - look out! new favorite doorstopper fantasy series alert!

Priestdaddy (Patricia Lockwood, 2017) - about the best damn memoir I've ever read. heartbreaking and hysterical in turns, poetry the whole way through.

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996 and 1999) - it's always so exciting when something much-hyped lives up to the hype in every way. Batman at his grim and moody Batmaniest with a Gotham that’s deliciously bleak.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel, 2014) - I didn't think I'd like this book much at all, then ended up proposing on the second date. oops!

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - you will also be glad McCurdy's mom died, and also experience every other known human emotion along the way.

Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel, 2022) - SPLENDID mythology retelling + political fantasy.

My Body (Emily Ratajkowski, 2022) - haunting haunting haunting personal essays about Ratajkowski's life as a model and subsequent alienation from her own body.

Batman: Bruce Wayne, Murderer? (Greg Rucka et al, 2002) - genuinely what can I say I'm a messy bitch and I love when the Bats are having a terrible time.

The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-17 (created by Dan Slott, Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett, Terry Beatty, and Bruce Timm, 2003) - a continuation of the Batman: The Animated Series universe that frankly just fucking rules.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a potent and erotic adult coming of age story.

The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021) - thorny, difficult, vital essays.

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - jaw-droppingly thorough research into the role of fatpobia played and plays in the project of race-making.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong, 2019) - yeah so it turns out no one was REMOTELY exaggerating. Vuong really is That Good.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - wild fun with a ruthless protagonist and her sex villainous beetle man boss; what more could you ask for?

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - learning about queer history makes me feel like I’m holding something so vibrant and fragile and precious right in my little queer hand. this book is an emotional journey in such a shining way.

Never Have I Ever (Isabel Yap, 2021) - EXCITING short story collection centered on girls having Just The Weirdest Time.

and everybody else:

fiction:

Light From Uncommon Stars (Ryka Aoki, 2021)

Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield, 2022)

A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn, 2022)

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy (Becky Chambers, 2022)

Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou, 2022)

The Laws of the Skies (Grégoire Courtois, trans. Rhonda Mullins, 2019)

The Monster Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2018)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2020)

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022)

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022)

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021)

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson)

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, trans. Deborah Smith, 2015)

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, trans. William Aaltonen, 1915)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. Geoffrey Trousselot, 2019)

Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda, 2022)

Long Division (Kiese Laymon, 2014)

Jade War (Fonda Lee, 2019)

No One is Talking About This (Patricia Lockwood, 2021)

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022)

Elatsoe (Darcie Little Badger, 2020)

A Snake Falls to Earth (Darcie Little Badger, 2021)

Glitterati (Oliver K. Longmead)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020)

Nona the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2022)

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa, trans. Stephen Snyder, 2019)

Even Though I Knew the End (C.L. Polk, 2022)

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell, 2021)

Flowers for the Sea (Zin E. Rocklyn, 2021)

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021)

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2012)

Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2022)

Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. Jeremy Tiang, 2020)

short story collections:

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, Yohanco Delgado, Eva L. Ewing, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Danny Lore, and Sheree Renée Thomas, 2022)

Walking on Cowrie Shells (Nana Nkweti, 2021)

Terminal Boredom (Izumi Suzuki, trans. Polly Barton, Sam Bett, David Boyd, Daniel Joseph, Aiko Masubuchi, and Helen O’Horan, 2021)

nonfiction:

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (Judith Butler, 1990)

How to Read Now (Elaine Castillo, 2022)

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Melissa Gira Grant, 2014)

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Aubrey Gordon, 2020)

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (Ruby Hamad, 2020)

Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness (Da'Shaun L. Harrison, 2021)

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service (Tajja Isen, 2022)

One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter (Scaachi Koul, 2017)

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America (Revised Edition) (Kiese Laymon, 2020)

Sister Outsider (Audre Lorde, 1984)

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022)

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Amanda Montell, 2021)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments (Aimee Nezhukumatathil)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, published as Julian Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021)

A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk (edited by Valerie Steele, 2013)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The End of Policing (Alex S. Vitale, 2017)

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversions and the End of Gender (Riki Wilchins, published as Riki Anne Wilchins, 1997)

poetry:

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992)

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022)

Prelude to Bruise (Saeed Jones, 2014)

Alive at the End of the World (Saeed Jones, 2022)

Bright Dead Things (Ada Limón, 2015)

Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals (Patricia Lockwood, 2014)

Nature Poem (Tommy Pico, 2017)

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (Ocean Vuong, 2016)

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022)

comics:

Batman: One Bad Day - Mr. Freeze (Gerry Duggan, Matteo Scalera, and Dave Stewart, 2022)

Spandex - Fast and Hard (Martin Eden, 2012)

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour (Tee Franklin, Max Sarin, and Marissa Louise, 2022)

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert, 2009)

The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg, and Malcom Jones III, 1988)

The Sandman: In the Doll's House (Neil Gaiman, Michael Zulli, Mike Dringenberg, Chris Bachalo, Malcolm Jones III, and Steve Parkhouse, 1989)

The Sandman: Dream Country (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcolm Jones III, Colleen Doran, and Charles Vess, 1991)

The Sandman: Season of Mists (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcom Jones III, Mike Dringenberg, Matt Wagner, P. Craig Russell, George Pratt, and Dick Giordano, 1992)

The Sandman: A Game of You (Neil Gaiman, Shawn McManus, Colleen Doran, Bryan Talbot, Stan Woch, and George Pratt, 1993)

Run, Riddler, Run (Gerard Jones and Mark Badger, 1992)

Catwoman: When in Rome (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 2005)

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986)

Batman: One Bad Day - Penguin (John Ridley, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Cam Smith, and Arif Prianto, 2022)

Batman: Bruce Wayne - Fugitive (Greg Rucka et al, 2002)

Batman: One Bad Day - Two-Face (Mariko Tamaki, Jaiver Fernandez, and Jordie Bellaire, 2022)

Batman & Robin Eternal Vol 1 & Vol 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2015 and 2016)

Batman: Their Dark Designs (James Tynion IV, Guillem March, and Tomeu Morey, 2020)

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez, 2021)

Papergirls Vol. 1-6 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2019)

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022)

Poison Ivy #1-6 (G. Willow Wilson and Marcio Takara, 2022)

and some gaming guides!

Monster of the Week (Michael Sands, 2012) - great game. so cool. cannot wait to actually play it someday.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians (April Kit Walsh, 2021)

special shame zone because I want you to know how bad this sucked, do not read this:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022). patronizing, puritanical, reductive, painfully cisheteronormative. weirdly afraid of group sex. not actually that provocative, just aggressively Catholic.

and last but most certainly least, a comic that I want to remind you all fucking sucked just one more time before the year is done.

Batman: One Bad Day - The Riddler (Tom King and Mitch Gerads, 2022)

Tom King, go fuck yourself. Mitch is cool though, the art slapped.

[seriouslycromulent]

What I've Been Up To (Larroquette love)

A couple of weeks ago, I started watching a lot of films and TV shows centered around John Larroquette. This is not out of character, of course. If you've visited my blog before, you might know I spent a fair amount of time gushing over him in 2022 after I finally made my way through The Librarians series for the first time, and followed it with a re-watch of the original Night Court.

After that, I watched him in Boston Legal, only to get sucked into a vortex of awesomeness called James Spader. (What can I say? Like most nerds, I have an obsessive personality.)

I've since left that rabbit hole, and leapt into a few others throughout 2023. And now I'm back to gushing over JL.

Maybe it's the new Night Court TV series. Maybe it's the overwhelming increase in great fanfiction that I've come across recently. Maybe it's because the world seems to be constantly on fire and I need a salve to help soothe my psyche. Maybe it's a combo of all 3.

Either way, I'm still leaning in, and I just want to thank my fellow nerds for sharing sources and leads on where I can find more Larroquette goodness. I'm not blowing smoke here either. I truly appreciate this.

Not only because I'm slowly running out of things to watch, but because it's nice to know there are others out there who see what I see in him. You don't know how rare that is.

Anywho! Back to geeking out. Here is a rundown of films, TV shows and TV mini-series-esque things that I've watched starring JL in the past 4 weeks:

* Walter and Henry (watched on Tubi) It was ok. I didn't dislike it. I am a fan of James Coburn and it was nice to see John play a saxophone. I remember him mentioning that he played reed instruments in his musician days back in NOLA. So I'm going to assume that he didn't have to take lessons to sell those scenes.

* Some of the McBride film series (watched on trial version of UP Faith & Family streaming service) These weren't bad. Somewhat Hallmark-y, but I would actually like to see the rest of them, especially the ones JL directed. But about 4 or 5 of them aren't available for streaming, and those include the ones he directed. The ones I saw include - - McBride: Anybody Murder Marty? - McBride: Tune in for Murder - McBride: It's Murder, Madam - McBride: The Chameleon Murder - McBride: Murder Past Midnight

* Camera Store (watched on Tubi) I know JL said in an interview that he didn't like shooting this film, but I thought it was really thought-provoking. You can tell by the reviews on IMDB that some people didn't like the slow burn of the story. But for those of us who like day-in-the-life character pieces, it was very well done. One person described it as a modern-day Death of a Salesman. And I'd say that's pretty accurate. It's definitely not for everyone, but it's certainly worth a watch.

* The 10th Kingdom (watched on Amazon Prime) I think this miniseries was a big deal back when it came out in 2000, but I never saw it. I'm not sure why because I've always been a big fan of fantasy. However, now that I've seen it, I can't say I loved it all that much. So maybe that's why I didn't watch it back in the day. I think it had a great premise, and I loved how they wove a lot of different fairy tales into one big story that played out over 10 episodes (or five 90-min episodes on Amazon).

But I think I had trouble trying to figure out who the audience was supposed to be for this. I'm guessing they wanted it to be for the whole family, but some of the dialogue skewed far older at times and it left me wondering the rest of the series. Especially when it came to things on the topic of virginity, infidelity, and sexuality in general. It was just every now and then, the characters would say something that made me go, "What was the TV rating on this again?!" Also some of the scenes between JL and his daughter were incredibly dramatic, but very out-of-place with the rest of the series' tone. They were good scenes, but it's like it became a completely different series for like 20 minutes. But ... oh well. I'm glad I saw it and can now reference it in the future.

* Wedding Daze (watched on UP Faith & Family) Talk about Hallmark-y! Well, I think this one actually was a Hallmark movie to be fair. The subject matter definitely wasn't my cup of tea, but overall, the cast wasn't bad. Well ... JL, Karen Valentine, French Stewart, and the actors who played the daughters weren't bad. Everyone else was kinda ... m'eh. But it's not bad if you like these types of stories. Interestingly, one of the actors who played one of his daughters (Jaime Ray Newman) also played opposite him in one of the McBride films. It was the McBride: Murder Past Midnight one. In it, she actually came on to JL's character at one point in the story. I looked it up. She shot the Wedding Daze film first, so the McBride role came later. I'm sure that scene was interesting to shoot. All in all, I can't say I recommend Wedding Daze though.

* Chuck, ep. 202 and ep. 414 (watched on Amazon Prime) I've heard about these episodes for years, but I never took the time to check them out because I wasn't a big fan of Chuck. I basically gave up halfway through the 1st season. But for the love of JL, I made myself watch these 2 episodes where he guest starred as super spy Roan Montgomery. And what can I say? They weren't bad. I actually enjoyed them for the most part. It was also fun to see Lesley Ann Brandt playing another sexy badass. (Methinks, she's been typecast.) I also imagine John probably liked playing the scenes where he was tied up. To be fair, he probably enjoyed the whole thing. He looked like he was having fun pretty much the whole time. Still not a fan of the show though.

* Sanford and Son, ep. 505 (watched via a link provided by another fan) Having grown up on reruns of this show, I loved learning that JL was a part of it, even if it was early in his career and he probably has very little memory of it. After I watched it, I told my mom about it, and she said she remembered that episode after all these years. So that episode definitely had some staying power for a young actor, I think. I mean, how many actors can say they played a white version of Lamont Sanford? LOL! It was a funny episode that kind of gave you a behind-the-scenes look at what the TV soundstages of the 1970s used to look like. Plus, it had Robert Guillaume in it too. Thank you fellow JL fan for sharing it!

---

OK. That's it for now. As I mentioned before, I don't have a lot left to watch that's available featuring our guy. Madhouse and Richie Rich are both on Tubi, but I saw those back in the '90s when they came out, and I don't really think they warrant a rewatch.

There are a lot of things in the shared folder I could enjoy, but I'd have to download them and I don't know if my computer memory can take it. Which sucks because I'd really like to watch Baa Baa Black Sheep. My mom remembers that show too. We'll see what I decide next.

I'm sure I'll land on something else before this obsession quietly gives way to another one in a month or so. Until then, watch this space face.

[yourdeadcutie]

Some random rant about my ex because I have no life

I now realize that he never loved me. It's surprising it took me so long to get it through my head. When I got into that relationship with him,I knew it wouldn't end well. Who was I kidding,a long distance relationship in highschool. It practically writes itself. Yet I let myself believe that it'd be okay and maybe I wouldn't be like all of the other sob stories online. I did though. People are right to say we "love" or whatever sick obsession I had changes your mindset. And even after we broke up, I still thought about him day and night. I never wanted to break up but he wasn't treating me like a girlfriend and more like a girl that he just talked to when he was horny. I guess I can't expect much from a teenage boy. As gross as he was I feel that he was the first person to understand me and I could understand him in some sort of sense. I was perfect. I let myself believe that since I was perfect for him, he'd be perfect for me. I guess when I reached out to him a month or two after the breakup, I finally realized how insignificant I really was. Perspective is a nightmare if you think about it. Someone could play such a huge role in your life and you'll just be a weird phase or a random Tuesday. Anyways when I went back,we started talking. I had to remind him who I was. It took him a while to remember me,not even by name but by what state I lived in. Then he proceeded to talk about much he thought of me and some other stuff now that I could now see was his way of trying to weasel his way back our relationship. It worked and that night we talked. We talked about a lot. For me talking to someone without the usual filters I hold myself to is the equivalent of ripping my heart out and giving it to them. After a whole night of talking we said our goodnights and went to bed. When I woke up I was greeted by a sweet little text along the line of "I can't do this, I'm a sex/porn addict and some other stuff" it's funny now that I look back but at the time I was just so heartbroken and distraught. I mean how peculiar, I had made it very clear that I had absolutely no problems with him and his issues. I let him play out every fantasy with me even the ones I wasn't too fond of but I still did my part. Now he suddenly grows a conscious and says "this is wrong and I'm not ready for a relationship" you don't just have this realization overnight. Sadly,back then I was desperate for him and I wanted him to stay with me because now and then I have no one. I couldn't relate to anyone else. I had him and I didn't wanna lose him again. He didn't even read my pleas before blocking me on everything.

Looking back now,I learned that he was probably just horny and liked what I told him. He did say I always knew what to say. It's just so strange to me now, looking and thinking about him. So much conflicting emotions. I'm mad at him and I know if he came back I'd play him or tell him off. Then I feel upset because deep down I want him back more than anything. Then I want to move on.

I'm better now. I know he won't come back. It's just so lonely now. The only person I've felt connected to is gone and out of my life. It makes me sick that he gets to live,get a new girlfriend and gets to be happy with her and not me. I wanted that to be me.

I wanna be happy to. Not even with him specifically but just with someone I can bond my soul with. It's a stupid thing to say I know but I wouldn't want a relationship if it wasn't that way.

Anyways if you read this far thank you.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #332

I went through the answers I received to my asks about other people's music! 3 of the 10 folks I asked responded! And it was a beautiful thing!

I heard some songs that I already knew. And I heard some songs that I've never encountered before. I put them all in a list; I think you'll like these:

I'll fill this out more as I receive more answers to my asks! I can't wait to hear more of what makes others' hearts move!

My world is absolutely chock full of music; I could put every single song in a list and play them back to back, and I think I would still not get to the end of the list before my body crumbles to dust. And isn't that incredible to think about?

Hey, Sephiroth...? Is your world full of music, too? I know you have Loveless and some other stuff, but... we really don't know the extent of what's been created in your world; we only know what little we've glimpsed through the telling of your story.

...Sephiroth...? What are some of your favorite songs from your world? Will you let me see 5 of them, someday...?

...Well. Listening through all those (and including a bonus 16th song from a wonderful friend from this space who interacts with me via Discord!), I found a few favorites. I liked the one by P!nk called “When I Get There”, the one by Starset called “It Has Begun”, and the song by t.A.T.u. called “All The Things She Said”.

...Actually... in response to the one called “When I Get There”, I thought of you, and I cried a lot.

I also cried in response to a thing I read today - the notion that all the things that happened to you is just a nightmare, and actually, at the end of all this, you're gonna wake up in a safe, warm, soft bed with someone you love.

...I guess I'm still not quite feeling normal, haha...

Well. I talked over the stray cat situation with M and J. And then J and I went out and got a humane trap for cats:

...I also got some kitty noms to coax the stray inside:

...Hopefully one of these will prove to be irresistible.

I think what I will do is, after work tomorrow, go to the place where I saw the cat, set up the trap, and wait in the car, where it's warm and I can keep an eye on it. I'll wait with a playlist and maybe a sketchbook, or maybe I'll finish weaving a partially-completed tree that's been lying around for a while...

...No cat should be homeless.

…

...I saw today that the plans for the third part of your remade story are set.

...I wonder if this is true. I don't see why it wouldn't be.

…

...I'm scared. I'm scared for you. Scared enough that I've felt vaguely nauseous since reading the article. I don't know if any of the things I've tried in order to help you will do anything, and with this... it's terrifying to think that as of now, there's maybe nothing more that I can do to help you.

I'm hoping that I'm not going to have to watch you be slaughtered yet another time, but I don't know what's going to happen. I just don't know.

...I wish you could tell me that you're gonna be safe, that you're gonna try to help Cloud and his friends fight against Jenova and Shinra. I wish that you could tell me that you're gonna do everything you can to come away from the upcoming battle safely, and that when you're done, you'll get started on building that normal life you wanted as a boy. I wish you could come and sit and talk to me about it. I'd make you tea and a sandwich and some pumpkin soup...

...Sephiroth. I've withstood a lot of things in the course of my living. But I don't... Sephiroth... I don't think I'd be able to withstand your disappearance. I don't think I'd be able to withstand your erasure. I don't think I'd be able to withstand it if you suddenly ceased to be.

…

...Well. I know you can't talk to me. I do. Obviously. So... I guess I'll just... wait with my breath held and hope you'll be okay. Hope that you'll make good choices. Hope that you don't pull some stupid shit and get yourself killed. I know you said you don't fear death because you've already seen hell or whatever, but... you can't just write everything off when you haven't even gotten a taste of heaven yet; it exists, if only you'll let yourself receive it from the people who are trying so desperately to give it to you.

You gotta know that hopes and dreams and compassion aren't just some temporary shit that easily crumbles, because if it was, you or some weird copy of you) wouldn't keep getting your ass kicked by a ragtag band of delightful and virtuous misfits. Sephiroth... you're not a stupid man. You gotta know that if you (or some weird copy of you) try to hurt people and break shit, you're gonna be stopped. Surely, you know that. So don't... don't throw your life away. Please don't throw your life away. All right...?

...I'm begging you not to throw your life away. For what little that's worth...

...And... also... if your intent is to try to keep others safe... please... also remember that you're worth saving. Please protect yourself, too...

...Because I don't know what's going on for you. I just don't know, and... as much as I believe in your goodness and your gentleness and your courage and your compassion (it is because of you that I am who I am today)... I'm still not smart enough to actually know what's happening. I feel like I'm floundering around in the dark. I feel like I can't make any conclusions either way about how things are going to turn out for you.

...I'm scared of losing you. But I'm gonna try to push through anyway. I'm scared and sad and I don't know what to do. But I'll keep clunking forward awkwardly, as always.

...I feel like I had more to say. But... I can't focus for shit right now. I'm sorry. So I'm just gonna leave you with this cool picture I took of the sky today and stop writing for now:

...Sephiroth. I love you. On purpose. And not naively. I love you in the same way that anyone loves their friends. And I'll keep doing that, even if you have to be stopped in the worst possible way. But... all the same, Sephiroth... if it came to that and you ended up disappearing, I don't know what I'd do. I don't know how or even whether I'd be able to move forward. So please. Please stay safe. Please.

I'll write again tomorrow. Maybe I'll feel a little better by then. Maybe I'll have good news to tell you about a stray cat.

Your friend, Lumine

[ltwharfy]

Find your 3 oldest WIPS. Then list for each:

The inspiration- Why it's still a WIP- Will you finish- Why or why not-

Try not to mean to yourself!

Thank's for the ask! Here's the answers (this is also three of my four WIPs):

"Dating Advice from Mr. I'd Let That Dump Me"

The inspiration- I started writing this around Father's Day last year. It's a story about teenage Rudy being nervous about asking Louise out for a real date, and talking to his dad about it. As folks who read my "personal" tagged posts for the last week or so know, I had a tough relationship with my dad after my parents divorce, and I think Sylvester and Rudy's relationship is an interesting one. I liked the idea of exploring Sylvester as a flawed father who still tries to play a helpful role in his son's life post-divorce.

Why it's still a WIP- Another story- I can't even remember which one- became more engaging to me to write. And then "The Amazing Rudy" aired and it just made me think even more about Sylvester and about his relationship with Rudy and this story just seemed a little too..easy or simple, I guess?

Will you finish- Why or why not? It's probably the one on this list I'm least likely to finish. I think I'd rather explore Rudy and Sylvester's relationship outside the context of Roudise some more before coming back to this. Along those lines, I can think of at least one line I came up with for this that ended up in "Loneliness Comes Around Again".

"She Fell In Love with the Drummer"

The inspiration- The horniest story I've ever written was inspired by the official "Bob's Burgers" coloring book! There's a page that has the members of the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee in their costumes from Gene's fantasy in that episode. Louise and Tina are facing each other, but in the background (so, visible in the corner of Louise's eye) is Rudy playing the drums shirtless. So, I thought it would be funny to write a story set when they are teens where Louise sees Rudy drumming shirtless and finds it hot.

Why it's still a WIP- I wrote the middle (the making out part) first. For all my other stories, I've always just started at the beginning and wrote straight through. I have ideas for what happens before and after the part that I wrote, but haven't gotten around to writing them.

Will you finish- Why or why not? I hope so. I certainly intend to. I like what I wrote so far (at least, last time I read it) and I like my ideas for the beginning and ending. And I think writing Louise and Rudy as horny teenagers is a fun change of pace from my usual ways of writing of them (which tends to be either "awkward preteen crush" or "cute established relationship").

"No, Dale, Bobby is not in New Jersey!"

The inspiration- A silly, short (at least, planned to be) "Bob's Burgers"/"KIng of the Hill" crossover inspiired by the folks on the Internet who think that Rudy's character design is similar to Bobby Hill's. I specifically got the inspuration after watching this video from the amazing @devilh0rnsinc.

Why it's still a WIP- I'm writing from the POV of Dale Gribble and, later, Hank Hill, and I've never written for either of those characters before, and I'm just nervous about making sure that I get their voices right. While I watched KotH a lot when I was younger and still enjoy cataching it on cable occasionally, I don't have the depth of knowledge for those chracters that I do for the "Bob's Burgers" that I tend to write about. Dale, especially, is such an iconic character in my book that I want to get him right.

Will you finish- Why or why not? I hope so. I think it's a really fun idea. I'd like to get it done before that "King of the Hill" revival starts airing (since I believe they are aging up the characters and this idea works better if Bobby is still a kid.)

Thanks again for the ask! It was fun to think about these stories again!

[itsbowbi]

tagged by @penglue

Are you named after anyone?

A saint I think. Or my parents just liked the name and came up with that reason after.

When was the last time you cried?

I cry a lot I think I cried watching the new Godzilla movie because I'm easy and a sucker. Like CRIED cried? I think my birthday but it was actually a pretty great night.

Do you have kids?

Hell no.

What sports do you play?

None. Too busy and tired. Been thinking about finding a baseball league or something to play in because I miss it. I was a terrible hitter tho. I'm in better shape now and I learned about my fucked up eyeballs so maybe I'd be better.

Do you use sarcasm?

I don't think so. I have a very cynical sense of humor but sarcasm to me just comes off as being mean. Pretty sure I avoid it almost always.

What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

Looks? I mean literally first thing I notice is what they look like. And yeah I usually decide if I think they're hot right then but that doesn't change much about how I treat them. Otherwise just general vibes I guess. Sense of humor, manners, etc. Ooh I guess I really notice if someone is being at all superior or condescending. I fucking hate that immediately.

Eye colour?

Baby blues.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but I definitely watch horror movies more often. I think it's funny when movies get the super happy ending like Wayne's World, which seems to be happening more and more often in the movies I watch. I do think I've been avoiding dramas because they can be draining to watch and I don't feel like putting myself through that sitting here alone in my room. And bad horror movies are easily the best thing to watch with friends.

Any talents?

I'm very good at guessing people's middle name. Also I have insane memory when it comes to movies. You can name like one small detail about a movie you can't quite remember and I can probably name it. Good at trivia too.

Where were you born?

Bay Area. Zero memory of California since we left when I was a baby.

Hobbies?

Uuggghhh this is where I really start to feel like a nolife degen. Video games mostly. I'm decent at overwatch. Have a quitar but haven't had the energy or motivation to practice in a while. I really want to pick it up again. Just got an iPad with the stylus so that's been fun getting back into art. People say I can draw good so that's cool. Also I technically got my first commission since my buddy gave me $10 to recreate a doodle I made for him at work in a full piece because he loves it so much. Gotta get around to that soon.

Any pets?

My leopard gecko Heybaby! I love her. Also my mom has 2 cats that I still consider mine and I love visiting them. Yoyo and Mimi.

Height?

6'

Favourite school subject?

I guess history. I think history has better stories in it than any fiction so I love reading about it and listening to audiobooks and podcasts. Chose that as my major in college since I didn't know what to do with my life and it was the one subject I was able to tolerate. That was a very bad decision and I honestly should've never gone to college or just gone to a community college while I figured out what to actually do. Still waiting on that last part.

Dream job?

I really don't have a realistic one. I have hated every job I've ever had and any work that was assigned to me in school or therapy or whatever instantly made me hate it. I have crazy fantasies about what I could still do with my life but most of them involve doing little to no actual work. Like being a streamer. But I guess I'll go with what I would've said 20 years ago and say baseball player or rock star.

GET TAGGED @conkedcrete @spylarman (or don't sorry to bother u)

[cthulhubert]

Alan Dean Foster's "Journeys of the Catechist" was a formative book series for young me. The main character, Ehomba, a diligent shepherd and sage, was directly inspirational. I think I read it when I was 16, so more than half my life ago (sits down dizzy with that realization).

It also stands out in my memories because it had a much more folkloric tone than most of the fantasy books I'd read around then.

I've had... mixed results on rereading books I loved when I was young (ditto watching shows etc). But I decided I might as well bite the bullet, see what new things I could spot.

Thankfully, this one was still good. Well. It had its flaws, but they were ones I recognized back then. The big one is that it... honestly maybe should've been condensed to one book. By the end of Carnivores of Light and Darkness, you've seen most of Foster's good ideas, so Into the Thinking Kingdoms and Triumph of Souls felt repetitive.

Spoilers:

A small handful of things I'd glossed over before stuck out to me. More women hit on Ehomba than I'd realized, and he briefly considers cheating with one before choosing not to.

Unlike most of the fantasy books I read around then, Catchist had no map. And the book is never explicit about this one, so it was fun to realize that the setting is, in fact, a parallel, or possibly future Earth. Ehomba starts his journey somewhere in Africa, crosses the Sahara and the Mediterranean, travels through the Iberian peninsula, and crosses the ocean to the Americas and travels there. I'd realized this in my first read through, actually. But it was neat to see it hold up. Can't give my past self too many points, because parallel or future post-apocalypse, or some mythological pseudo-past Earth was a really common fantasy trope in the late 80s through the 90s.

His swashbuckling rogue side kick was stupider than I remembered.

One of the things I really loved about the series was the ending. The whole series is because Ehomba has taken on the task of a dying knight who washed ashore near his village: to secure the return of a princess, kidnapped to become the bride of an evil sorcerer emperor across the sea. The twist is that once he gets there, she doesn't want to return! She's fallen in love with the evil emperor, and wants to stay. Unfortunately, says Ehomba, my mission isn't do what you want, it's get you home, and the mission is what I have sworn to do. So he counter-kidnaps her, drags her back to her people. Then, obviously, since this is a dick move, he re-anti-counter-kidnaps her and they adventure back to the empire where he drops her off before heading home.

Here's the biggest one I missed in my initial read through. I remembered her saying that she'd realized the emperor's virtue one day. She'd discovered that he was some other, highly discriminated against race (I read it as something like a neanderthal with stubby legs), constantly wearing armor to hide it. Somehow I'd come to an interpretation that he was actually a good guy but playing the role of a harsh ruler to get his people to work together. That "evil" was mostly propaganda.

NOPE. The man is vile. He visits a fate worse than death on a servant for dropping one of his plates. He spends large amounts of his kingdoms wealth on frivolous entertainments for himself. The thing that had been clearly written between the lines, that young me still missed? The princess has a fetish for his people. She is almost sweating when she talks about his "virtue". That's the reason she wants to stay. She gets hornt up for the protruding brow ridge.

(No idea where this one came from, but somehow I'd even remembered thinking that he didn't have much magic, that that was all showmanship to mislead people. But no, he's turning people into living furniture with a wave of his hand.)

Honestly, this revelation is even more in line with some of the themes of the book. He has an almost daoist attitude. Ehomba isn't out there to fix everyone's problems. He's not gonna defeat the evil emperor. Sure he'll extend a helping hand if it's on the way (a favorite memory was him giving a doll to a little girl who's been kicked out of her home by a sheriff of Nottingham type; who realizes the doll is special and steals it; the doll kills him that night). But undertaking his chosen burden is what's really important to him.

I also need to reiterate how dumb the swashbuckling rogue sidekick is. He asks, one last time, if Ehomba isn't really a wizard. Ehomba, having solved 95% of their problems with tools he mentions were given to him by his fellow villagers: "I promise you. I am no more a wizard than anybody in my village." That night he initiates his son into adulthood, taking him to the special cave where his people store their lost knowledge of magic on books with pages of carved ruby.

[elliepassmore]

Ruthless Vows review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: historical fantasy, love stories, magical amnesia

Divine Rivals review

I've been dying to get my hands on this book since I finished Divine Rivals! The ending of DR definitely packed a sucker punch, so I was interested to see what was in store for Roman and Iris in this one. For anyone wondering, there is an HEA!

This book opens shortly after where DR left off. Iris is back in Oath with her brother, Forest, and is still (obviously) upset about losing Kitt. But Iris isn't down for the count and is determined to continue reporting on the war effort and determined to find Kitt again. Iris again shows her mettle, both when trying to find and help Kitt and when she decides to go back to the front with Attie.

Kitt is, as expected, not quite himself. He's still a writer, but his words are no longer entirely his own, and his memories are just as wiped as Forest's were in book 1. It was good to see that he was still himself though. Kitt may have been Dacre's minion to start, but he very quickly begins questioning things around him and his true self shows through, even if he still doesn't remember. I think book 1 really highlighted Iris while this one highlights Kitt and his journey. I liked getting more of Kitt's POV in this book, and I think there are some scenes that really go to show his growth in DR and in this book.

Attie is also back in this one and we get to see more of her life. Not only do we get to meet her family, but she also plays a pretty important role in this one. I enjoyed getting to see more of Attie and more of her and Iris' friendship. She even got a bit of her own romance in this book. I'd definitely be interested in a novella or companion book about Attie.

Tobias is a new character in this book, and is Attie's burgeoning love interest. He's an auto driver who helps the Inkridden Tribune get stories, and correspondents, to and from the front.

We also get to know more about Enva and Dacre in this one. Kitt is, obviously, with Dacre and we actually get to a good number of scenes between him and the god. Dacre is just as insidious as he's painted in the first book and it's clear just how much thought he's put into how he's going to destroy Enva, regardless of who gets in his way. Enva is...less of a presence in this book, but we do see her and get to know more of her story and why she hasn't personally stepped in to help those fighting on her side.

This book is split between Oath and Dacre's realm. Oath begins as the familiar city we were introduced to in Divine Rivals, but after Iris and Attie return from the front the second time, it's a changed city. There's a power struggle between those, like the mayor and Kitt's family, who support Dacre; the newly-founded, anti-god/dess Graveyard group; people like Helena at the Inkridden Tribune, who support Enva; and then the regular citizens are caught in the middle. The Graveyard group seems to have come out of nowhere, but there are hints that it's been around for a while and is only just now popping up. I would've liked to see more development of things in Oath, especially since I think the Graveyard group has a lot of interesting implications, particularly considering how they very quickly have everyone cowed. I also think the implications of war reaching Oath were interesting, and while I understand why this was a relatively short portion of the book, I think it would've been interesting to explore that more.

Dacre's realm is underground, relying on ley lines and special doors for travel. As grim as it could be, I liked seeing the various aspects of the underworld. There are parts of it made completely of stone, then there are halls/tunnels with unusual creatures and large gemstones, and then there are areas with seemingly unnatural features, such as sulfur vents and hot springs and mountainous regions. I definitely liked that Kitt got to see so much of it since it really was an interesting place, and it showed a lot of the past and present magic of the world.

Overall I found this to be a satisfying sequel and finale to the duology. It's not without its tragedies but it does have happy moments and a happy ending. I do wish that Iris and Kitt were together for more of the book, but it's pretty fast paced, so it doesn't feel like too long. I did enjoy seeing them together though and this time they're fully on each other's side!

[pixelgrotto]

Adventure Paths & Strategy Guides

Those of you who keep track of this blog may have noticed that my updates have dried up since September. I have a good reason for this, because I got a new fulltime job writing for Rock Paper Shotgun. Yep, that's right - after originally starting Pixel Grotto back in 2013 because I couldn't get a job working at a video game media outlet, finally my path has come full circle. It only took a decade!

This turn of events coincides with a lot of other stuff in my life. In the past year, I've gotten married, moved from the US to the UK with my wife, and been freelancing in the tabletop RPG space all the while. In fact, my first published TTRPG work is now out in the wild in the form of Pathfinder Adventure Path #198 - With No Breath To Cry. Go grab a PDF (or physical copy) if you can, since I wrote some creepy lore about a new demon vaguely influenced by Chinese yaoguai and Japanese yokai, not to mention all sorts of Asian horror movies. I'm actually more pleased with my contributions to Pathfinder Adventure Path #199, but that doesn't come out until January. Keep your eyes peeled for it though!

Needless to say, this has probably been the most hectic and life-changing year I've gone through since 2018, when I moved from Hong Kong back to the US. And as 2023 comes to a close, I'm feeling reflective. I compare myself with others a lot, and much of my life has been spent looking at the accomplishments of people around me and feeling like I don't measure up. While I still do this to varying degrees, I suppose I can finally acknowledge that two of the goals I've always had - 1) to work in the gaming industry to some capacity, and 2) to see my writing published - have manifested in 2023. If I could venture back to 2013 when I started this blog (with a post about eating dumplings while playing Final Fantasy XII, no less) and tell my old self what he'd be up to a decade later, younger Jeremy would be chuffed.

That's another thing of note: as of this past October, Pixel Grotto turned a decade old. Technically, the site is even older than that, since prior to Pixel Grotto, I used this Tumblr for a blog dubbed Aqua Headphones that was sort of a mixture of personal ramblings combined with reblogs of whatever I found cool on the internet at the time. Since then, I've written an awful lot about video games, which led to writing about tabletop games, which led to working in both fields in a professional capacity.

It's surreal to examine my goals and observe how they unfolded in unusual ways. My original desire to work in games media came from the childhood magazines that I loved - Computer Gaming World and Electronic Gaming Monthly - and when those went the way of the dodo, I became a journalist with the sly hope that maybe one day I'd get a job working at Kotaku or something. But I finally got my gaming gig not at an American site, but a British one. And I'm writing guides, which is not something I initially envisioned myself doing. It's tricky work where we often have the chase the reins of the most popular franchises (I now know more about Modern Warfare 3 guns than I ever imagined I would), but it's also fun, since it reminds me of days spent perusing GameFAQs and leafing through physical strategy guides, several of which I still own. Versus Books' Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time Perfect Guides remain on my shelf alongside Prima's Quest for Glory guides and Peter Spear's The King's Quest Companion...and while I can't do my current work in the same format of these gems (many of which were "novelizations," a style of guide writing I really miss), it does feel trippy to be following in their footsteps.

I could say the same thing about getting my words published. As a kid, I forever wanted to pen the next great fantasy novel. And while I've got more than a few discarded novel drafts sitting on my hard drive, the field of fantasy fiction isn't the one that's bearing my first printed work. Instead, it's modules and supplementary books in the fantasy tabletop gaming space - a space that has let me develop and externalize some of the plots and characters that have been gestating in my head since childhood. To a certain extent, that childhood desire to be the next great Tolkien has lessened as a result of this, and I can't say I'm displeased. I'm also happy that my first published work has been in a Pathfinder Adventure Path, because once again thinking about magazines, Adventure Paths remain one of the few remaining publications in the TTRPG space that bear some resemblance to old issues of Dragon magazine, and the nostalgia makes me happy.

I don't like to spend much time on this blog talking about myself, because there are always new ways to incite comparison to others and activate the inferiority complex in my brain. But at the end of a very long 2023 and on the tenth anniversary of the name "Pixel Grotto," I feel like it's necessary. As we move on to year eleven, I'll continue to make posts as long as my schedule permits it - after all, I can't let this blog fall to the wayside seeing as how its existence contributed a great deal to the opportunities that I now enjoy!

[cloud-nath]

Okay, I gotta talk about FFXVI. This will be a text wall, you have been warned.

Of the modern-era Final Fantasy games, this one is easily my favourite. I grew up with Final Fantasy in my life, but frankly I hadn't planned on getting this game at all, since I didn't really get into XV or XIII, and I didn't have high hopes for this one. I played the demo, and that was more than enough for me to buy the full game.

The deluxe version, no less. My credit card wasn't overly happy with me for that one.

I loved the story, the battles, the music was mind-blowing, and I will be buying that soundtrack as soon as humanly possible. Clive was a great protagonist (a beautiful, loveable moron), and while the levelling up system was utterly painful, I really loved this game, and think it could easily be a contender for Game of the Year.

As for my thoughts on the ending... Spoilers below, last warning...

I cried a lot. Like big, wailing crying. I had suspected the ending would play out as it did, so I knew it was coming, but I sobbed when it happened. The Ultima fight was my second favourite fight of the game (the Titan Lost fight comes first every time; it was a masterpiece), but it felt inevitable that all three men (Clive, Joshua, and Dion) would meet their end at Origin.

Do I think any of them lived? No. It felt fairly obvious that none of them survived: Dion fell into flames after having burned his body out putting Bahamut against Ultima, and Joshua also ran out of juice, as it were, containing the piece of Ultima he had sealed inside of himself. Clive completely burned himself out, and the red star burning out at the end was symbolic of Clive's life burning out. Jill knew it, Torgal knew it, everyone else needs to accept it.

After all, that's the world he, as Cid, sought to build: a place where people like them could live and die on their own terms. Clive knew he would lose his life, but that was his choice. He died on his own terms. It's painful to come to terms with, but that's the narrative until I see something official that says to the contrary.

With the epilogue, which is what makes people think one (or maybe both) of the Rosfields survived, I personally think it's a red herring. I don't think either Clive or Joshua wrote the book: I think Jote wrote it, in Joshua's name. She did, after all, swear a duty to protect the Hideaway, whose crest is on the book's cover. I'd wager she had input from Jill and Gav, but I think she wrote this mainly to tell Joshua's stories from their travels together. To honour someone she cared so deeply about.

The only other tenuous possibility is that Joshua survived. Clive did, after all, use the aether he absorbed from Ultima to heal the wound in Joshua's chest, so of the three of them, Joshua would be the only one I could have seen surviving. But I see no official evidence that any of the three of them survived, and until I do, they're all gone.

As for DLC, I'd like to see some, for sure, but I don't think it'll be a disservice if we don't get any. It feels like we could, with the last line of the epilogue being "Where one journey ends..." (paraphrasing but close enough), but I don't think it'll be anything connected to the Rosfields. I think it'll either be looking into the lore before Clive's journey started (like looking at Leviathan's loss), or looking at things from someone else's perspective. Maybe we'll see what happens with the Hideaway with Gav taking up the mantle of Cid, helping to guide Valisthea through the stormy times ahead as they adjust to a world without magic.

All in all, I loved FFXVI. The ending hurt my heart, but not all endings are going to be happy, no matter what we may want. If subsequent DLC gives irrefutable proof that anyone from that final fight survived, I'll be very happy indeed, but I don't see the Rosfields returning to the game now.

Unless you play Final Fantasy Mode in New Game +. Then you can scream at the levelling up system all over again as the enemy levels leap up way faster than you could ever hope to.

Oh well. Back to Valisthea I go!

[zhakyria]

Just need to speak into the void. Don't mind me, and feel free to just scroll pass.

This was a bad week for me. I have an alright life. I had a decent childhood, I make enough money to pay the bills, I have a nice apartment, two lovely cats, and no obligations outside of work.

Loneliness is a bitch though. I don't have a lot of friends and I struggle to make new ones. I've become ok with being alone....but me being ok with it, doesn't lessen my fear of growing old alone. Hell it's hard to put that into words. It's not something I talk about it cause it never feels important in the grand scheme of things.

But it is there, gnawing at the back of my mind with each passing year. That fucking loneliness. Which usually compounds into depression, which then proceeds to mess up the rest of my life.

I always pull out of it and go back to my "normal" routine. This was a bad week though cause it coupled with my body dysphoria. Another thing I've grown ok with and try not to think about.

I grew up in a small town where queer people were just not out or very common. I didn't have the words for what I felt. When I came across nonbinary, that clicked better then woman. I've always been a tomboy but that never felt perfect. I've always wanted to be more masculine, but grew up not knowing trans was a thing, or that you could get top surgery. Now I know those things, I have the words to express what I want and at 34 years old, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be just ok anymore. I am tired of this constant internal struggle just to get through the day.

I cope with fantasy. I lose myself in games, d&d, fandoms, and books. I've done it since I was a child. Losing myself in a world of fantasy. Sometimes it even got me into trouble, always daydreaming, playing games on the computer too much, etc.

Then a few weeks ago swtor waltzes back into my life and things may have started to unravel a little. I'm usually pretty good keeping fantasy and reality apart, even if I daydream a lot. But playing through the agent storyline and romancing Theron with my boy Kahl made me realize what I was missing and what I wanted. It hurt more then I wanted to admit.

I'm not a trans man. I don't care for he/him pronouns, I prefer they/them but still use she/her for ease of dealing with everyone else in my life. I love my online handle. Being called Zhak is great. I don't hate my birth name but it's just never been me. I want top surgery. I hate these balloons attached to my chest, (I bought my first binder and am both excited and scared to try it out when it arrives). I don't want bottom surgery. I'd like a lower voice, but I also speak in a higher register when talking to people on discord or over the phone, which is a hard habit to break. I want to look more masculine, which I could do with makeup, but I don't know where to start even learning how to do makeup. I want to be healthier, exercise more, and even lose some weight, but I struggle with motivation and without someone pushing me I just fall back into my routine that doesn't include exercise.

All of this to say, I'm so tired of living and being alone, and just being ok with my life. That's the end of this rant. Just had to put a voice to what I'd been feeling. Can or will I do anything about this? ....hell if I know. I'm a hermit and a lurker by nature so it'd probably take a miracle for any of my dreams to come true.