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tgmsunmontue · 5 months ago

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Online & Anonymous 11/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015

2016 – Jake

Jake hasn’t exactly reconciled with his family. But at his grandmother’s funeral his sister had found him and forced her number into his phone, and now he exchanges phone calls with her every week or so. He always waits for her to call him, gives her a window of time that he’s available to take her call. He knows she keeps it quiet with their parents that she’s in contact with him, but he doesn’t care, she wants to talk to him and thinks their parents are in the wrong. He now gets to know what his nieces are doing, gets to see videos of first steps and words, silly little day-to-day things which he has clearly missed from his older niece. He gets to talk to his sister, and through her hear about his family, even if it hurts.

He’s turning thirty this year, and he guesses his sister at least feels like a decade of almost no-contact is finally too much. Like somehow not having anything to do with his family would magically change anything. Like he’d somehow choose to be gay when all it’s done is made him feel like an outsider and jeopardized his career. Or her world view has just slowly started shifting and she’s trying to make up for not being there for nearly a third of his life. Part of him feels ashamed for letting her back into his life so easily, with only the barest hint of an apology. That he feels so desperate for some semblance of his family that he never stopped missing is finally back and still has so much power to hurt him.

He knows Javy doesn’t like it, frowns every time he takes a call he knows is from Susie. Maybe one-day he’ll get to introduce them, when he thinks Javy won’t end up needing to be bailed out of jail for assault, his protective streak ten-miles wide. He hasn’t said anything to Nick either, doesn’t want to bring up the fact that he has a small bit of his family back in his life when he knows Nick can never have that. Death is a lot more permanent for a start, and while Jake doesn’t ever expect to see his parents again, he knows that they’re still alive. They might come around one day, there are always those miracles that happen.

And thinking of miracles he’s certain it’s going to take one for him and Nick to actually meet. They’ve decided to try and stop planning to meet up, every time they plan it something happens. Instead they’ve shared their deployment dates, intentionally not making plans for anything during their periods of leave. In addition to that they’ll both turn their location on when they’re on leave, no matter how short, whether it’s shore leave or extended leave, they’ll try and find their way to each other. So while it means not making plans with anyone else Javy at least understands his desire to finally meet Nick and is happy to run interference with his family about Jake’s apparent lack of commitment to coming to stay when he’s on leave. They’ve reviewed their schedules for the next few months, there’s not any time they’re both on leave for the first few months, but there are times later in the year, so he’s just got them in his schedule with Nick??? and hopes for the best.

… … …

He next sees Bradshaw at a ceremony where they’re both being awarded an Inherent Resolve Campaign medal, and if anything the asshole looks even better and Jake appreciates it while also hating it a little. Sometimes life just isn’t fair. Why couldn’t his face have erupted in boils or something. He’s talking to Admiral Kazansky, and Jake can’t help following him with his eyes, hates just how comfortable he looks talking to one the highest-ranking members of brass in the room. Of course Bradshaw is confident in every setting.

Jake still hasn’t figured out what he said or did to cause Bradshaw to not like him, the guy has got the fucking biggest chip on his shoulder and Jake is baffled as to why a guy everyone else has generally spoken of with warm regards seems to have it out for him since they met. Jake knows he’s not the best at making the best first impression, but he hadn’t been awful that he can remember. Not enough to make someone act toward him like he’s not even worth the time of day. He lets out a breath, realizes maybe he’s being a little harsh, because Bradshaw hadn’t seemed quite as annoyed with him the last time they were deployed together. Not that Jake will ever thank him for his callsign, but he’d asked how Jake was, may have even cared if Jake had admitted to not being okay. He’ll never know.

“Lieutenant Seresin.”

Jake does a double take, because as if thinking about the other man has made him appear from across the room. Also that tone isn’t cutting or annoyed, instead it’s almost… smooth. Not sweet, not friendly, but it’s definitely something, and it holds the promise of more.

“Bradshaw.”

There’s not quite a question at the end, and as he shifts to face him he catches the quick sweep of his body that Bradshaw gives him, gives his body, before dipping to his lips and holy shit, Bradshaw just checked him out. It’s not quite a sharp one-eighty from a few years ago, but he guesses they’re on equal footing now, no difference in positions or ranks, there’s no DADT, there’s nothing that he can think of. Then he remembers Javy saying Bradshaw had something going with someone. Something serious. His conscience pricks a little, but it’s not his person that he’s cheating on. He wonders if they know, that Bradshaw goes around making eyes at people and then… well. He hasn’t done anything to Jake yet but for the first time he thinks that something might actually be happening.

“You have any plans for the rest of the night?”

As if the blatant up-down look wasn’t enough, he’s outright asking Jake and it’s taking his brain a little to catch up, wants to come out with a quip, wishes he could seriously think of rejecting him just to give him a taste of what it had felt like. Instead he’s shaking his head, ignoring the fact that he does in fact have plans with Javy to go out for a drink and bowling.

“You want to get out of here?”

“Yeah,” Jake says, and god he wishes his voice didn’t sound quite so breathy. He coughs and clears it, hopes that covers it, although the way Bradshaw is smirking at him he doesn’t think it did.

“You have a place?”

“I’ve got a hotel room.”

“Perfect.”

… … …

It’s about a fifteen minute walk, and neither of them speak, a few people giving them respectively nods as they pass, which is normal considering they’re both in full dress uniform. Jake feels attuned to the mere inches between them as they walk, taking the elevator up to his room and then both taking their shoes off at the door like it’s someone’s home.

“You done this before?” Bradshaw asks and Jake rolls his eyes, because while it’s not like he broadcasts the fact he’s gay, he’s over thirty and in the Navy, and DADT was repealed five years ago now.

“Yeah, don’t need to go easy on me or anything.”

“Oh, I was never going to be easy…” Bradshaw says, and Jake doesn’t have time to ask what he means before he’s being pressed back against the door and kissed, Bradshaw’s leg slotting between his, hips grinding against him and Bradshaw already feels half-hard. He’s efficient at undressing, his fingers working at the buttons on Jake’s jacket while his mouth sucks at Jake’s bottom lip and he can’t help the little gasp as Bradshaw’s moustache scrapes over his jaw line.

“You got any special requests?” Bradshaw asks, and he seems like he’s a guy who enjoys sex. Laughs with his partner in bed. For the first time since they met Jake’s getting to see the friendly side of Bradshaw that everyone else gets normally. He wonders if he’ll get it when he’s not about to suck his dick. Yeah. That is what he wants now.

“I want to suck your dick,” Jake says, arousal making his tongue thick in his mouth, the words slurring together.

“Be my guest. I’ll take real good care of you after…”

He can feel Bradshaw’s smile against his neck, his lips moving as he talks, his tongue licking at the tendon in Jake’s neck and he shivers as Bradshaw pushes his jacket off his shoulders, taking his own jacket off and carefully hanging them both up, grin a little sardonic as he shrugs.

“Pretty sure neither of us want to iron them again anytime soon. Come on, pants off too. You can’t kneel in those…”

Jake doesn’t need to be told twice, doesn’t kick them off in his haste, they are his dress blues after all, again watches as Bradshaw takes time to carefully lay them over the back of the little sofa. The way Bradshaw is watching him makes him feel self-conscious so he tries to feel confident. Obviously Bradshaw likes something he sees, because he’s here after all, and his cock is definitely outlined in his briefs and Jake’s mouth waters a little.

He’s not even aware that he's licking his lips before Bradshaw is kissing him again, hands running over the bare skin of his arms, tugging at his undershirt and Jake strips it off and drops it to the ground, presses Bradshaw back against the wall and then drops to his knees and runs his nose up the length of his dick. It is definitely firm, maybe not quite all the way hard, but considering he’s not even got his mouth on him yet it’s gratifying that he’s maybe the reason he’s so turned on already. Then Bradshaw is pushing him away and Jake frowns up at him, wants to ask what he’s doing.

“Condom. Safety gear’s important…”

Of course he’d say that, and Jake doesn’t disagree. He watches as Bradshaw grabs a few condoms from his pocket, god, how many are they going to need? Watches as he strips off his socks, briefs and undershirt and he’s just as gorgeous naked as he is fully clothed; confident in his own skin and yeah, Nick was right, it is attractive. Fuck him. He watches Bradshaw watch him as he strokes his cock to full hardness and then tears the wrapper, rolls the condom down his cock, eyes hooded as he watches Jake instead of needing to watch what he’s doing. It’s hot for a variety of reasons, not least because Jake seems to hold his whole attention.

Then Bradshaw’s stepping past, leaning against the wall looking relaxed, like he has all the time in the world, smiling down at Jake and one eyebrow raised like he’s asking a question. Jake’s isn’t going to hazard a guess as to what the question might be, just licks his lips again and wraps his mouth over the head of Bradshaw’s cock, one hand on his thigh while the other settles near the base of Bradshaw’s dick, brushing over the pubic hair. He’s never grown accustomed to the taste or texture of latex, but this is… maybe not latex? He pulls back.

“You got your own fancy brand of condoms you carry around with you Bradshaw?”

“Latex allergy, pays to be prepared.”

Of course he fucking does. He wonders how he figured that one out. Wonders exactly how bad it is but he’s not making friends with Bradshaw, he’s here to get off and get Bradshaw off. So he sets about giving Bradshaw a blowjob, and he’s better at it than he used to be, uses his hands and alternates between sucking him down and licking everywhere, gently sucking on each of Bradshaw’s balls before returning to do hard and fast sucks on the head with longer bobs down to take more of him in.

His jaw aches a little, out of practice but Bradshaw doesn’t seem to notice or care, his fingers gentle in Jake’s hair, like he doesn’t want to scare him off and Jake has to tamp down on his feeling of competitiveness. He doesn’t need Bradshaw fucking holding back from tugging on his hair so reaches a hand to cover his, curls his fingers and catches some of his hair between his fingers and Bradshaw’s and then tugs. His groan echoes Bradshaw’s, and the jerk of Bradshaw’s hips is nice too, catching him a little unaware and he gags a little which seems to turn Bradshaw on even more.

His own cock is hard in his briefs and he lets go of Bradshaw’s hand to rub at his own cock briefly before bringing his hand to cup Bradshaw’s balls, fondles them and they’re damp with his spit from when he was sucking on them; he tugs them gently, feels Bradshaw’s entire body shudder, a wave centered on his cock moving outward.

“Jesus Seresin… fuck…”

Then he’s just mumbling under his breath, so good, god, your mouth, gorgeous and Jake lets himself soak it all in, likes that Bradshaw is vocal enough to let him know he’s enjoying it. Then he feels nails scraping over his scalp before Bradshaw’s entire body goes taut and Jake is feeling Bradshaw’s body jerk as he comes and the moan he makes seems linked directly to Jake’s own cock, making it throb. God he’s glad Bradshaw has already promised to reciprocate, really hopes he’s at least halfway decent.

Bradshaw is pulling him to standing, kissing him with bruising hardness and Jake lets himself kiss back, a little breathless and more surprised. Most guys he’s hooked up don’t kiss a lot, especially not after a blowjob; usually saying they don’t like the taste, which Jake has always found a little odd considering some of the tastes of other parts of the body. Each to their own he guesses, enjoys Bradshaw kissing him and walking him backward to the bed, his hand already palming Jake’s erection through the fabric of his briefs.

Then Bradshaw is guiding him to sit on the edge of the bed, then he’s kneeling between Jake’s spread legs, his eyes intent on Jake’s face like he’s waiting for Jake to say something but he can’t. Can’t think of anything to say that he won’t wish he said differently later so he just raises an eyebrow and makes a get on with it gesture with his hand, hopes that says enough. It seems to do the trick, Bradshaw huffing in amusement but then he’s mouthing Jake’s cock through his underwear, the warmth from his mouth seems to intensify the heat around his cock and why does that feel so good.

“Lie back if you want…”

“No. Want to watch…” Jake says, then Bradshaw is standing again, leaning down to kiss him and cupping his face carefully like this isn’t just a hookup and Jake wonders if he’s like this with all his hookups. Doesn’t let himself wonder about how he might be with anyone who might not just be a hookup.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right back. You got any lube?”

Jake nods, makes a grabby hand gesture toward his toiletry bag like a fucking toddler and tries not to be mortified by the whole thing, mainly the grabby hands or his apparent eagerness for any and all activities that require lube. Bradshaw either ignores him or doesn’t notice, unzips it and pulls out the little pump bottle, inspecting it before nodding like its passed inspection. He grabs a towel from the bathroom and then he’s back, grabbing the pillows and making a little pile so Jake can lie back and also watch.

“Art of compromise…” Bradshaw says with a smirk and Jake rolls his eyes but lets Bradshaw gently push him back, kissing a trail down Jake’s body, licking and sucking over his neck, down his chest, flicking his nipples with the tip of his tongue, one after the other. Then his hands are working the band of Jake’s underwear, working them down and Jake raises his hips to help. The air of the room feels cool on his cock, then he feels the condom getting rolled down, doesn’t stop himself from thrusting into the circle of Bradshaw’s fist, although kind of wants to knee him in the side of the head when he huffs with amusement again.

Then he thinks he could forgive Bradshaw anything, his mouth tight and hot and just all the fucking way down like he doesn’t need to work up to it. Jake definitely snaps something out, but has no idea what it is, his brain not offering anything other than the black and white static. Bradshaw has definitely had more practice than Jake, or maybe just has natural talent, and Jake can’t help the little jerks of his hips as Bradshaw sucks him down again. He meets Bradshaw’s eyes, and it feels weirdly intense so he closes his eyes, suddenly feeling too exposed.

Then he feels the fingers, Bradshaw’s fingers, slippery with lube and Jake didn’t even notice when that happened. They’re not pressing, just rubbing between his ass cheeks, pressing gently on his perinium. Then there’s a more obvious press against his asshole and Bradshaw is pulling off his cock.

“Seresin… yes or no?”

“Yes. Fuck yes. Come on…”

“Feel free to tell me to stop.”

“I’m not going to tell you to fucking stop.”

“You can also tell me to go harder, or faster, or… just use your words and let me know what you want. Never stopped you before, hmm?”

“Fuck you. Get on with it.”

Fortunately Bradshaw does return to sucking his cock, but he’s now massaging Jake’s perinium with a thumb, another finger is rubbing circles around his hole, slowly increasing in pressure and he wonders if Bradshaw’s just being cautious or…

“Just put you fucking finger in my ass Bradshaw, for fucks sake…”

“Just had to ask.”

Jake thumps his head back on the pile of pillows, and his annoyance is immediately overwritten by Bradshaw no longer wasting any more time and going directly for the kill, brushing over his prostate and Jake hates how his precision in a plane is apparently a transferable fucking skill. Bradshaw’s got a hand tight around the base of his cock, like he doesn’t want Jake to come too soon. Then there are two fingers, long fingers, pressing up inside him, not gentle brushes, direct pressure and his spine feels like it’s a sparkler, sparks hitting his body all over and he arches into it.

“Holy shit…”

“Yeah, there we go. Come on. Want to take you apart.”

Jake can’t tell him no. Doesn’t want to. Just gives in to the overwhelming sensations of someone intent on bringing him as much pleasure as possible. He’s never had someone seem so focused on giving him a blowjob before, although he guesses Bradshaw has already come so isn’t in any rush to get off himself. Combined with the anal play he’s quivering on the edge of coming. Bradshaw is somehow calm and collected even adding a third and fourth finger and Jake can feel himself shaking with the need to keep control. Jake wants to see Bradshaw lose it a little, but doubts if he will.

Bradshaw wants to make him fall apart, and Jake is pretty sure he’s more than capable of making that happen now and he doesn’t have to hold back or pretend, not right now. He can let himself go, not be so careful of what Bradshaw might think. It’s sex, and Bradshaw already doesn’t like him very much, being… well, being a little bit more open and exposed is normal during sex. He can let himself have this, will let himself have this. He’s allowed to want this. Lets the pleasurable sensation of Bradshaw’s mouth and tongue on his cock wash over him, the feeling of his fingers, both on him and in him, the press of their skin together in other places where Bradshaw’s touching him. It feels increasingly overwhelming, all of his senses feel glutted; the sight of Bradshaw sucking him down and not pausing for breath or a break. The smell of their combined bodies, sweaty, the sound of his own breathing, rough in his ears. Bradshaw’s little pleased throat sounds and groans. And overlaying it all the sense of touch and he feels like Bradshaw is everywhere, in, on, over, under, around him. He let’s out a high pitched whine, can feel his orgasm cresting, about to wash over him any second.

“Close. Oh fuck… so close. Shit. Yeah…”

He says other things he’s sure, but Bradshaw doesn’t stop, just keeps sucking him and Jake jerks and shudders, thrusts a little into Bradshaw’s mouth before Bradshaw’s pulling himself off and peppering the skin around Jake’s thighs and groin with little butterfly kisses, fingers slowly easing out. Jake lies there, sucking in lungful’s of air as oxygen returns to his brain and Bradshaw is up and doing something… washing his hands in the bathroom apparently. Then he’s back, carefully removing the condom and tying it off before using a warm wet facecloth to wipe Jake clean. He bets Bradshaw is the type that would lick his partner clean.

Then he feels Bradshaw straddle him, ass resting on his thighs, then he’s placing more little kisses down Jake’s neck and then around to the other side, like it’s a necklace. His moustache tickles at the same time it kind of turns him on, like he wants to squirm away and press into it at the same time. Then it hits him. Bradshaw has a moustache. He closes his eyes and imagines what it might feel like if this was Nick’s mouth on him. He knows it’s not great etiquette to be in bed with one person and imagine another, but Bradshaw will never know.

That’s when he notices Bradshaw’s cock is hard again and he doesn’t know what to say, what Bradshaw wants to happen here. The realization that Bradshaw got hard again while blowing him makes his own cock twitch and god, he’s not even gone a little bit soft. What the hell. Bradshaw is grinding their cocks together, except it’s too light to be considered a grind, is more like the little butterfly kisses, just little touching glances before moving away and it’s a little maddening, and he wants to press into it all, both the kisses and his cock.

“Want to fuck you. That something you’d want?” Bradshaw asks, voice low against his neck and then he’s sucking Jake’s earlobe, the pulse in his neck where he’s certain Bradshaw can feel how fast his heart is racing. Jake doesn’t open his mouth, just reaches to place one hand in Bradshaw’s hair, and letting the other grab an ass cheek, pulling Bradshaw down into him as he pushes up and their cocks and hips press against each other almost painfully and Jake just gasps. Then Bradshaw is moving, body coming to cover his and he’s so glad for it, feels anchored to the world.

“Yeah, yeah. Fuck me.”

“You sure? Not too sensitive?”

“Fucking come on,” Jake mutters, breaking his silence and a flash of something passes over Bradshaw’s feature, too fast to identify. He’s already relaxed and stretched from the blowjob, shifts onto all fours so he can avoid looking at Bradshaw in the eyes while they fuck. Doesn’t want to think about why he doesn’t want that too much. Doesn’t need to watch as Bradshaw puts another condom on and slicks Jake up with more lube. When Bradshaw presses into him it’s firm and slow, unyielding and Jake groans into it, breath hitching a little, wants him to move the alleviate the discomfort and at the same time wants him to never move, to somehow press himself further in.

“C’mon, move.”

“Nope. Not yet…” Bradshaw mutters, and Jake doesn’t know if he’s just being difficult or if he has a reason for not moving. Bradshaw’s moving his hips in a tiny incremental grind, he can feel his balls brushing him. “You feel good Seresin. Let me enjoy it.”

Jake doesn’t say anything, because it’s not totally a bad thing that Bradshaw isn’t moving, he’d just thought he’d want to get on with it. He can feel himself relaxing around the intrusion, can feel himself starting to grind back slightly and it seems to be whatever signal Bradshaw was waiting for maybe as he pulls back a little before grinding back in, repeating the slow short thrusts. He’s never been fucked after he’s already come, never realized this was maybe a thing that could happen, but he likes the way it’s making him feel.

“Can you come again?”

“I… I don’t know,” Jake answers honestly, because this is all new territory, the fact that his cock is still hard, never really went away after he came the first time.

“Let’s find out hmm?”

“Oh fuck…” Jake breathes, his words hot and damp against the skin of his arm as he parses exactly what Bradshaw means by that. Fuck. “Yeah, sounds like a plan.”

He’s not sure what else might be part of the plan, but Bradshaw seems curious as to what will make Jake squirm, shout, gasp, swear and everything in between. He shifts with no pattern or direction between slow grinds of his hips, pulling Jake up a little and working his cock in his hand, then longer, deeper thrusts while he sucks bruising kisses to his neck and shoulders, to a fast-punishing pace, hips snapping in and out all while his fingertips dig into Jake’s hips. All of it is good in its own way, he doesn’t have a favorite although he can tell Bradshaw seems intent on figuring it out.

Bradshaw’s body is slick with sweat, he can feel the odd drop of it hit the overheated skin of his back where it offers a little flash of coolness for a brief moment. The sheets are damp with his own sweat, he’s panting, fingers grasping desperately at the sheets as he pushes back. God. He had no idea it could be this good. Wants to comes, knows he can definitely come, but never wants it to end all at the same time. It’s when Bradshaw presses himself along the length of Jake’s back, circles his hand around Jake’s cock and starts jerking him off that he knows.

“Think you can come again Seresin?”

“Yes… fucking yes…” Jake hisses between clenched teeth.

“Good. You going to come for me then?”

“You first…” Jake gasps out, holding back through some sheer force of will and good luck.

“Oh fuck…” Bradshaw grunts, and Jake feels him jerk, his hand on Jake’s cock stilling briefly before it goes back to stroking and then Bradshaw is murmuring your turn under his breath and Jake’s orgasm is intense, like the first one of the night never happened, his whole body arching to be closer and he slumps down, uncaring if Bradshaw falls with him. Holy shit his brain provides and Jake grins stupidly against his arm, because his brain has the right idea and he closes his eye briefly. He must doze off for a moment or two, because when he opens them again Bradshaw is almost completely dressed, just his pants and undershirt, jacket carefully folded inside out, tapping at his phone with his other hand.

“Hey. You’re back with me,” Bradshaw says, and he’s fucking smug but Jake guesses he kind of deserves to be. Holy shit his brain repeats, and his body definitely echoes the sentiment. He’s going to jerk off remembering this. “You good?”

“I’m good. So good.”

“Hmm. Good. Catch you around Seresin.”

… … …

He falls asleep, his body feeling well worked over and achy in the best possible way. Like a good run in warm sunshine followed by a really good jerk of session in the shower. But better. So much better. When he wakes up he still can’t believe that it was Bradshaw in his bed last night.

Fucking Bradshaw.

Literally fucking Bradshaw.

He’s a little annoyed with himself. Can’t believe he’s had sex with a guy that is kind of an asshole and it was good. He wanted so badly for it to be absolute shit, to be able to tar Rooster with the same selfish-asshole brush as the very few guys he’s slept with previously. He’d taken what Nick said to heart, not pushed himself too early, but he’s had decent sex now. What he’d thought was good sex. And now he knows it was barely decent. The fact that the best sex he’s had is with someone who seems to hate him for some unknown reason is galling, but he tries not to care about it.

God. Imagining sex like that with someone he actually likes? It’ll be amazing. He rolls over and grabs his phone, plugs it in, has to wait for it to charge up; a little distracted last night to plug it in so it’s gone dead. He probably needs to buy a new one. He goes and has a shower, brushes his teeth and pulls a face at the marks on his chest, back and hips. Ah well. Nothing to be done about any of that now. He pads back into the room and picks up his phone, looks at the new photos Susie has sent him and then goes to open Grindr.

Nine notifications.

Shit.

>>You around?

>>I think we could meet?

>>Same city right now?

>>Jas?

>>Guess you must be busy.

>>Damn it.

>>Seriously thought fates were finally on our side.

>>I’m out on an early flight.

>>Hope you had a good night.

Jake feels like throwing his phone across the room but resists, clenches his jaw and swallows down the disappointment. Fucking Bradshaw.

>>I am so sorry!

>>I had my phone on silent.

>>And then it must have died.

>>Shit.

>>I’m really sorry to have missed you.

>>Pretty sure you don’t want the Grindr notification sounds coming through your phone.

>>Why do you think it was on silent?

… … …

He’s glad his phone had died, that he doesn’t have to lie. Feels odd telling Nick that he didn’t check his phone because he was busy having sex. Feels worse thinking that sex is the reason he missed meeting him. He both wants to share with Nick just how good of an experience he had, but it being the reason he missed meeting him feels rude. Not that it was intentional at all, but he still feels awful, because they were obviously so close and he realizes then that Nick may have been at the award ceremony. It was a large one, with many different factions of the Navy present and he doesn’t know if Nick has figured out that they’re both in the Navy. He could ask. Or he could just drop it into the conversation and he wonders if that’s what Nick did, can’t remember exactly how Nick mentioned it now, but he knows it’s true.

He keeps it to himself for a couple of weeks, not ready to share it. Not ready to talk about it. Still processing his own emotions, not really sure how he feels or how he’s meant to feel. How he feels about Bradshaw is all mixed in and he has to try and separate the Bradshaw he had sex with from the Bradshaw that he works with in a professional capacity. Isn’t sure how they’ll interact the next time they see each other, knows he could get Bradshaw’s number if he really wanted to, but doesn’t want to… seem interested. He’s not. He doesn’t think he is anyway. But he can’t talk to Nick about it. Not yet.

… … …

A couple of weeks pass and with the pass of time he feels like maybe he’s imagining just how good it was with Bradshaw. His memory is pretty good though and after he jerks off to the memory, changing the man to Nick even if he still looks annoyingly too similar to Bradshaw because of that fucking moustache he snaps a picture of his spent cock lying against his stomach and sends it through to Nick.

>>Gorgeous as always.

>>Any particular reason I get a treat without any prompting?

>>Definitely not complaining, just wondering what brought it on, see if I can make it happen again.

Jake laughs a little out loud, reaches for tissues and wipes himself off.

>>Nothing you did sorry, although was your name on my lips when I came…

>>Jesus Jas. You trying to get me hard? I’m meant to be going out with friends.

>>I’m not stopping you.

>>Just. I finally had good sex.

>>I mean.

>>Best sex to date.

>>Pretty sure the guy hates me but fucking hell. I can understand the hype a little more now.

>>Yeah? Jesus.

>>Ten years is a long fucking time to wait before you have a decent fuck. You going to see him again?

>>Hahahaha.

>>No.

>>Did you miss what I just said about him hating me?

>>Think we might kill each other.

>>Hate sex can be hot right?

>>Ouch. That kind of sucks.

>>Yeah. Not exactly a great romance or what I was hoping for, but beggars can’t be choosers and all that.

>>Kind of annoyed that he was so good. Makes me hate him a little bit more.

>>Hate?

>>What did he do?

>>Hate me first? I don’t even know.

>>Just seemed to take one look at me and decided not to like me.

>>Trying to not care about it.

>>Is he hot?

Jake groans, trust Nick to cut right to the center of Jake’s whole conundrum.

>>So hot.

>>Annoyingly so. Cocky.

>>But makes him more attractive. Asshole.

>>Oh yeah. I know the type.

>>Pretty sure they are my type actually.

Jake feels a pang then, that Nick has a type, knows enough about himself to have developed a type.

>>Yeah? You like cocky assholes?

>>Sometimes. And sometimes I want to put them in their place.

>> Put them on their knees and make them beg for it.

For a moment Jake thinks about Bradshaw, putting him on his knees to suck him off and his brain melts a little thinking about it. He understands the appeal more now, from both sides.

>>I think I need a connection to make the sex good.

>>Yeah? What makes you think that?

>>Well, while I haven’t exactly got a positive connection with the guy, it’s still a connection. We work together. Have similar life experiences I guess.

>>He’s in the military as well?

>>Yeah.

>>Bad idea huh?

>>Well, I can’t talk. I’ve had my fair number of hook ups, both before and after DADT.

>>Just be careful okay?

>>Yeah. Of course.

… … …

He’s in the middle of the Pacific Ocean when he hears about the Pulse shooting and he immediately needs to send a message to Nick to check in, knows Nick is on leave in Florida and just has to hope Nick didn’t go out clubbing to pick anyone up. He gets back an almost immediate I’m okay.

… … …

It’s happening.

It’s finally fucking happening.

They’re both coming here, a busy and popular pool hall filled with dozens of people clearly in the military and on leave. Jake’s been here before, a few years ago, and picked up an unmemorable blowjob in the bathroom. He’s early. Over an hour early, but he doesn’t care, he wants to see Nick walk through that door. He’d said Jake wouldn’t be able to miss him and Jake has no fucking clue what that means but he’ll trust him. He’s reaching for a cue bridge when he feels someone come and stand behind him, too close to be a stranger.

“Seresin… fancy seeing you here.”

Then Bradshaw is pressed against his back, lips brushing against his neck and Jake presses back automatically before stiffening and pulling away. He’s here to meet Nick, not fall back into bed with Bradshaw.

“Bradshaw. As I live and breathe,” Jake replies, voice tight.

“You look good… want a game?”

Jake glances at his watch, then checks his phone as well before nodding. Bradshaw shrugs off his jacket and whatever button-down shirt he had on, leaves them carefully draped over one of the bar stools. Then Bradshaw racks the balls and offers Jake the break. He can feel Bradshaw’s eyes on him like a weight, wonders if he’s imagining or projecting as he watches the way Bradshaw’s fingers stroke his cue. Knows he’s not imagining it when Bradshaw keeps brushing against him, fingers brushing his when he passes him the chalk cube. When Jake reaches to take the cue bridge from Bradshaw, he holds on to it, steps in close.

“Winner gets a blow job?”

Jake doesn’t choke on his own breath but it’s close, because he’s already winning, but the way Bradshaw is looking at him makes him feel like he’d be doing Bradshaw a favor by letting him. Wonders if the blowjob would play out the same as last time. God he really wants to find out, his cock already starting to get hard and Bradshaw seems to know it, too. Smug fucker. He takes the cue bridge and lines up his shot, sinks his last stripe and then hands the cue bridge back to Bradshaw and pots the black without even looking away from him.

“I’m actually waiting for someone, but I’ll take a raincheck…”

“Hopefully somewhere we have access to a proper bed.”

While Bradshaw sets the table up again Jake grabs his phone, can see the notification and he taps through to it.

>> I’m not going to be able to make it. Something’s come up.

The message has a timestamp of about twenty minutes ago and he pushes down his disappointment, schools his face into one of indifference and pastes a smile on his face.

“Seems like Javy got a better offer. Think I’ll take my rain check now.”

“Double or nothing?” Bradshaw asks, his eyes amused and Jake lets the curl of arousal in his gut fully stretch out. He grins slowly, licks his lips, a little of his disappointment melting away. So he might not get to meet Nick tonight after all, but at least he can have a good time with Bradshaw.

2017 - Bradley

#online and anonymous #Hangster #Sereshaw #hangman x rooster #Top Gun Maverick fanfic

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roguestorm · 1 year ago

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How To Start Reading Marvel Comics

Okay, so let's say you're a fan of the Marvel movies or games or you just saw Spider-Verse and you want to know how to start reading comics. Hi, welcome! This is one method of getting into comics; it is not the only one. We're going to be heavily relying on digital comics for this one, so if you prefer reading on paper, this might not be for you.

Step One: Pick a Character

This should be easy! Pick a character whose comics you want to read. It doesn't have to be your favorite character of all time; it just needs to be a character you're interested in getting to know a little better. A character is going to work better for this particular method than a team will, although there are plenty of team reading guides if you really want them.

Let's say, for the sake of example, that you just watched the Moon Knight Disney+ series and you want to read some stuff about Moon Knight.

Step Two: Find a Reading List

The very technically advanced way to do this is to Google "[Character] Reading List" or "[Character] Recommended Reading." For Moon Knight, Marvel has an official one that pops up right away.

The official ones are good places to start, but IMO, the best ones are usually from tumblr or Reddit. Comic fans can be very intense, but we also know more about the material than anyone, including Marvel. :) Here's one for Moon Knight.)

Step Three: Understanding the Reading List

Comic names are formatted one of two ways. You might see someone say Moon Knight (vol 7) or Moon Knight (2014). These refer to the same series of comics. They mean that the title of the series is Moon Knight, that it is the 7th series published under that title, and that it started publication in 2014. Moon Knight (vol 1) is Moon Knight (1980), because it's the first run of comics called Moon Knight and it started publication in 1980.

So, how do you know? That's where the wiki comes in. marvel.fandom.com is my best friend. So, when you type "Moon Knight vol 7" into the search bar, it brings up this page. See how it says (2014-2015) at the top? That's how you know that Moon Knight (vol 7) is Moon Knight (2014).

Step Four: Accessing Comics

Now we have to get the comics. We have a number of options:

For digital comics:

Buying digital comics. You can do this on Amazon or Marvel.com. However, this gets expensive real fast - for example, Moon Knight (1980) has 38 issues, and each of those costs $1.99. That's almost $80, just for volume 1.

Marvel Unlimited subscription. This is not a bad deal TBH. It's $10 a month, and they have quite an extensive catalogue. The only problem is that the site takes forever to load and is not easily searchable. Usually, I'll type into Google the name of the exact comic I want to access (e.g. "Moon Knight (1980) #1") and then click on the marvel.com link that comes up.

Piracy. This is the easiest and cheapest option, and thus the most popular. I'm not going to link any sites, but ask a friend or Google and you'll find one easily enough.

Physical comics are also an option, but they are more complicated. Groups of issues are collected in trade paperback collections, but finding which collections contain which issues can be a bit more of a hassle. And then buying those collections can get pricey very quickly.

If you like physical comics and have a public library card, I'd recommend checking out what they have on their shelves. On a Marvel comic, you want to look at the back cover, usually in the lower right-hand corner, and it will tell you which issues are in the comic (e.g. "Collects Moon Knight (2014) #1-6"). You might find some things that were on your reading list, or you might find some comics you'd never have read otherwise. A lot of public libraries (at least in the US) have a larger comic book collection than you'd expect.

Step Five: Have Fun and Be Yourself!

The most important thing to remember is that you are supposed to be having fun. There might be some frustration if you're not used to reading visual media (I know I wasn't), but it should overall be fun. If a comic feels like a slog, you don't have to read it! Maybe you and the person who made the reading list just have different taste. Try a different comic. Try a different character.

Also, remember that it's okay to be confused. You might be jumping around a little bit and so you might not know everything that's going on. This is kind of the perpetual state of reading comics. If you want to double-check the wiki or ask your friendly neighborhood comics blogger, that's totally fine.

#me making this guide after not reading comics for a month #like look i DO know how to read comics. i just don't do it!#also i feel like this is a deeply condescending and narcissistic guide but like. what/ever.

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coolbeansawrestlingblog · 6 months ago

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Real Love Will Prevail

A/N: Hello, so I wrote this years ago when I was still in high school but I'm wanting to get back into writing on here so before I start taking request I just want to go back and edit some of my old stuff and bring it back on here since I totally overhauled and deleted my orignal blog. This was one of if not the first one I wrote so I've got a soft spot for it, hence why I'm bringing it back.

Request: Finn Balor/Reader where the Reader is Stephanie and HHH's daughter and they're trying to force a relationship between the Reader and Rollins

No warnings, just a little bit of bad language and I tried to make it a bit fluffy at the end. Set roughly 2014/2015

Masterlist

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N's POV

"Okay sweetheart, we have the perfect plan for yours and Seth's date tonight." My dad told me on the way to Monday Night Raw.

"Which is...?" I asked responded.

"Once Raw is over, a limo will pick you both up from the arena and will take you to the most extravagant restaurant in the city then afterwards you lovebirds can do whatever you want." My mum told me with excitement in her voice, however, despite that, I felt sick to my stomach when she called Seth and I lovebirds.

The problem is I don't love Seth, I mean he is apart of the authority therefore we have made a friendship but that's all. In reality, I am in a relationship with Finn Balor. It hasn't be for long, just over a few months and it has been the happiest few months of my life. He treats me so well and seems to care for me, very deeply, just as much as I care for him. But as evident, my parents have no idea about our relationship and are trying to force a relationship with me and Seth.

"Okay mum," I sighed as the car pulled into the arena.

Once I got myself sorted in my very own locker room (being the daughter of the authority does have some benefits you know), I was on my way to hair and make up for tonight's show until I heard my name being called.

"Y/N, are you busy or are you simply walking away from me?" I automatically knew that beautiful Irish accent. I smiled to myself and turned around to be face to face my handsome, funny and loving boyfriend.

"Now why would I run away from you, but what are you doing here , not that I'm complaining but shouldn't you be in Orlando?"

"Some NXT talent were invited to come along to Raw and get to see the inner workings and get to know people in the main roster and backstage." Finn said with a smile, god I love his smile, its just so lovely. He wrapped his arm around me and gave a hug and kissed my cheek. "Does your parents know about us yet?" That question crushed my soul, I'm too scared to tell my parents. I can't predict what their reaction would be.

"No," I broke our hug as I spoke softly, "They set up a date for me and Seth tonight, they really want us to be an item." I looked down at the ground, I couldn't bare to see the look on Finn's face. He put his hands on my face to make look into his eyes.

"Look Y/N, I know you are scared about telling your parents about us but you have to tell them before its too late." I knew he was right but I just didn't know what to say. I gave him a weak smile.

"I know, I just have no idea how tell them, I don't want your career and dreams to be ruined just because my parents do not approve of us.

He gave a light chuckle. "Don't worry about me, I am sure it won't be that bad, on the plus side your dad alreadu knows me throught NXT, it's not as if I am a random stranger," He gave me a smile again. I smiled back before reaching up and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I suppose, I'll let them know about us," I said after I kissed him. He kissed me again which makes me still feel butterflies.

Seth's POV

Why the hell is Y/N kissing Finn. She is supposed to be dating me, we have our first date tonight. Never knew she was a slut. Does Hunter and Stephanie know about this shit? I have tell them anyway. She's mine. I want her. No else can have her.

"What the fuck is wrong with Y/N ?" I yelled as I stormed into Hunter and Stephanie's office.

"Don't you ever speak about my daughter that way," I could see the anger rising in Hunter's body.

"Hunter, calm down, Seth what happened?" Stephanie was more relaxed but not pleased either.

I took a deep breath, "I saw Y/N kissing that Finn Balor guy from NXT backstage, I thought she was suppose to be dating me." Hunter and Stephanie looked shocked, I guess they didn't know after all.

"We will get to the bottom of this, don't get involved." Stephanie told me.

Y/N's POV

On my way to my parents' office, I got a text from my mum telling me that we need to talk. When I got to the door I knocked then entered the office. I saw that my mum's stern face but my dad being more calm and relaxed. I also saw Finn sitting down, looking down at the ground. Oh shit.

"How did you find out?" My voice being barely audible.

"Seth saw you two kissing each other backstage, may I just say I am very disappointed in you Y/N, we handed you a stable relationship but you wanted someone else, what does he have that Seth doesn't, I expected more from you Y/N and you-"

"Steph, I think that's enough," my dad cut my mum off before she could say anything to Finn, "Look I know you wanted Seth and Y/N to be a couple but she isn't interested and we both know what Seth can be like with women, I know Finn from NXT and he is a great guy, I think we should give him a chance."

"I suppose its only fair," my mum sighed before turning to Finn, "Take care of her or I will make your life a living hell." I can see my dad rolling his eyes at her comment.

Finn, who hasn't said a word this whole time, finally speaks, "I will take the best of care, don't worry I love her." I was blushing at the end.

"Now get out of my office, we have a show to run," my mum said light heartedly.

"That was nerve racking, I understand why you were too nervous to tell them." Finn said once we left the room.

"I know, they can be very scary at times but I'm glad they know. I don't have to hide you anymore." He gave ne a light smile.

"I meant what I said in the Y/N, I do love you, I love you very much." I thought my heart was going to explode.

"I love you too Finn." He smiled then bent down to kiss me. I kissed back, still feeling those butterflies, I want to spend the rest of my life with him, hopefully he will stay with me forever.

#finn balor imagine #finn balor x reader #wwe imagine #wwe x reader #beansimagines

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concorp · 9 months ago

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MCYT Eras Concept

For a long time, I've thought of MCYT as divided into different eras. I've finally decided to refine the idea and write it out. I feel it's a good way to define things, rather than just "old school" and "modern", as the bar for each of those have shifted drastically over time. Please do note that a lot of how I describe these eras is mostly from my own perspective, but I do think the overall divisions work well for MCYT as a whole!

Era 1 - The "OG" Era (2009 - 2011)

The beginning of Minecraft and MCYT. Much content at this point was traditional lets plays, simple tutorials and showing off early innovations in redstone.

Era 2 - The "Classic" Era (2012 - 2014)

This era encompasses what is often considered the peak of many iconic "old school" groups and series. Team Crafted, Mindcrack, the various Yogscast Tekkit series, and many, many more.

It's difficult to describe everything that made up the classic era in a succinct manner. It was the true rise of SMPs, Adventure Maps, Minecraft Animations, Parodies, Mod Reviews, MCRP, and so, so much more. Minecraft was unavoidable on YouTube back then.

Era 3 - The "Gap" Era (2015 - 2017)

The "gap" era is named for the lull in MCYT's popularity. In this period of time, it was seen more as a niche, compared to the massive popularity it saw before and after.

This era saw the "death", or at least massive dips in popularity to many formerly wildly popular groups and ccs, as viewers interests changed and moved onto other things.

Many series came and went during this era, but weren't properly appreciated until after their time.

Era 4 - The "Revival" Era (2018 - 2019)

This era, due to a combination of many factors, was MCYT's return to mainstream. Many people returned to both singleplayer series and servers. Episodic SMPs old and new such as Hermitcraft and Truly Bedrock, began experimenting more with the lines between gameplay, story and improv.

This era also saw the rise of streaming based series, such as SMPLive, SMPEarth, and Minecraft Monday.

Era 5 - The "Lockdown" Era (2020 - 2022)

Much of this era is defined by the new heights reached during covid lockdowns. This era kicked dozens if not hundreds of the careers of those who grew up watching MCYT during the OG and Classic eras.

This era is admittedly very defined by the DSMP, rocketing MCYT and specifically MCRP into a level of popularity unseen before. Second, and as just as important to this era is MCC, bringing together so many personalities from all over the MCYT sphere who otherwise would likely have never interacted on a monthly basis.

A massive innovation in this era was also the introduction of the Simple Voice Chat mod to many servers, now a staple of most multiplayer content.

Era 6 - The Current Era (2023 - Present)

Unnamed as of yet, as it is still ongoing, the current era of MCYT has so far been defined by not only the continued rise of many smaller, younger MCYTs. But largely, and undoubtedly, by the QSMP.

Not only has it redefined what an SMP can be through its gameplay. It has brought the international MCYT community is closer together now than ever, crossing language and cultural barriers previously rarely touched.

---

This concept of mine isn't fully solidified, and is up to be more refined. I would love to hear y'all's thoughts and feedback about these divisions and the idea overall!

#talking #mcyt #mcytblr #mcyt eras

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astrolaurical · 1 year ago

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RM’S CHAOTIC LOVE LIFE ANALYZED IN SONG LYRICS

This is all alleged and speculation. No relationships are proven true until confirmed by the idols themselves or their agencies. Do not take this personally or too seriously. This is just an extreme over-analysis of song lyrics and observations I have made about idol interactions from years of being a K-Pop fan. This is a work in progress- RM has like a million songs and I am constantly going back and rediscovering new meaning in lyrics and adding to the song list. So buckle up, get a snack and a drink because I basically typed an 12 page thesis.

Indigo track-by-track analyses link

Favorite Girl (2012)- girl broke up with him over a letter in the winter

Thinkin Bout U- mentions red converse high girl

Coffee (2013)-bitter over breakup bc became idol?

Blanket kick (2014)- keep being/acting embarrassing around crush/gf and admits a lot of songs about her- possibly about yerin?

Miss right (2014)- maybe about yerin? possibly about wishing to be in ideal relationship but can’t bc idol

Where did you come from (2014)-superficial love

Boy in luv (2014)- unrequited love and changing oneself to try to get her affections

Danger (2014)-unaffectionate/uncaring gf not putting her all in the relationship

Intro:what am I to you (2014)-relationship started out too intense so gf put up barriers and shut bf out

Converse high (2015), converse high (predebut) -song that I believe is about yerin from 15&

Run (2015)- giving your all to someone who doesn’t appreciate it

Hold me tight (2015)-knows breakup is about to occur but wants to rekindle feelings from beginning of relationship

I NEED U (2015)- how because of this girl, they are becoming ruined and they want out of the relationship. However, they cannot bring themselves to leave and begs her to break it off for him. They are going through hell because of this relationship yet they keep coming back.

Autumn leaves (2016)- refusing to move on from breakup

Love is not over (2016)-refusing to move on from breakup where girl clearly didn’t love him/ she was toying with him or realized that hookups don’t satisfy them bc only last the night and person only theirs when they are physically in the bed

Blood sweat tears (2016)- addicted to sex with someone

Dilemma (2016)- gf feeling like stranger as she becomes distant but rm still refuses to let go bc he loves her

13430 (2018)-galactic ode to lovers whose bond dwindles, eventually breaking aloof.

Fake love (2018)- “I’m so sick of this fake love” Pretty self explanatory. The same message will be repealed in “Her” and “Closer”.

Her (2018)- the person they are in love with doesn't know the real them, only the mask they put on

Truth untold (2018)- It speaks of the singer putting on a mask to see the one that they love. They create a facade to hide behind so the object of their affection doesn’t see their broken and damaged side. They are afraid that their love will leave them because of their hidden side. They have a love, but it is fake love because they aren’t being real and so because they did not have the courage to show their love their real self, they left. They are left sitting in their ruined dream reminiscing about what would’ve happened if things turned out differently.

Im fine (2018)- a little self growth yay! Went from “save me” to “I’m fine”

Euphoria (2018)- happiness associated with young love and new beginnings. There are some underlying tones of feelings of how their love is fake and not based on attraction

Waste it on Me (2018)- a hopeless and hopeful love affair. While one side of the relationship labels the concept of love as a waste, the other strongly advocates for the pursuit.

Jamais Vu (2019)- can never do right by gf so want another chance

Crying over you (2019)- breakup but each person is mature enough to let go of each other and sending wishes that their ex would find a better person whom perfectly fit for them.

TOMORROW X TOGETHER - 0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You) (2021)- apparently RM had part in writing this song. He must have been loved up in his couple ring era because this song screams honeymoon stage. Clearly it didn't last based on the angry songs in this list that came afterward.

Young Love (2022)- We don’t know which of the members this viewpoint is about, so I will include this song just to be safe

SEXY NUKIM (2022)- you know the part I’m referring to… Girl you can keep it low While we do the ride I'll apply you tonight Ain't gotta DM 'Cause you heard about my team”

Closer (2022)- Namjoon, man. Will you ever learn your lesson?! You can’t replace sex with love! And you know it too. You’ve written like 20 songs about this very thing.

Change pt. 2 (2022)- MANS HEXED HIS EX LMAOOO. I WOULD BE SCARED SHITLESS. “SOMEDAY A GREAT GRIEF WILL DO COME FOR YOU AND THEN YOULL KNOW IT TOO THATS ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU. YOU CANT LOVE SOMEONE LIKE I DO”

Smoke Sprite (2022)- Honey, what you doin' in my bed? Yeah, Uh, baby, welcome to my favorite place, yes→ RM said 2022 IS THE YEAR I LET EVERYONE KNOW IM NOT A VIRGIN

Dont ever say love me (2023)- “I wanna die when youre next to me” like man wants to breakup so bad because even when youre around him you give him the ick

WHO ARE THE SONGS ABOUT?

ANONYMOUS PRE-DEBUT CITIZEN

RM admitted to having a girlfriend in highschool during a 2015 episode of Problematic Men. He said it was a short-lived relationship because she had too many male friends and was causing him to be jealous. Speaking of 2015, notice how the other men are rushing him to try and slip up and admit that he is dating? Or admit that he would write a letter to a sweetheart? That goes into my theory about Yerin below, with the timelines matching up in 2015. RM is notoriously TOO honest and his Problematic Men hyungs knew it, with Namjoon probably gushing about his girlfriend at after-taping 회식, and were wanting him to slip up and spill on air. RM finally admitted that he would write a song for his crush on White Day (cough cough Converse High cough cough).

YERIN

While BTS has never had a confirmed partner since debut, Baek Yerin is the only rumored girlfriend RM has had tabloids write about. Yerin is the only one of the three women I’m the most confident about in this analysis that he has had a relationship with. I am fairly certain that RM has a crush on Hwasa, and that Chaeyoung has a crush on RM.

Yerin’s entire 2019 album “Every letter I sent you.” seems to be a reflection of the passionate love (and toxic) affair her and Namjoon had when they were around ages 18/19-20/21. It could be possible they dated even as early as when Namjoon was 16 if his earlier unreleased love songs are about her, as well. That’s highly unlikely, as Yerin is the same age as Jungkook, 3 years younger than Namjoon.

Her songs often mention tons of sex, drunken nights, smoking, and fights. This sounds highly out of character for Namjoon (minus the sex and a little bit of drinking). There are rumors that some BTS members smoked, though it’s not confirmed who they are and if they still do. (Edit: Taehyung was officially confirmed to have smoked after pictures of him smoking at the 2022 Grammys were leaked. There were also numerous other occasions where he was holding a vape in his hand, but nothing as big as this “Grammys smoking scandal” went as viral. Jungkook is also confirmed to smoke after his vape was revealed in a Weverse live. Suga alludes to him being a constant smoker in his song “Haegeum”, and he does hold that cigarette like a seasoned pro… but the cig reference was mainly a call out to overprotective fans who think they they can tell other people what they can do with their bodies.)

They most likely had a karmic relationship- an intense but PAINFUL relationship that will rip you out and spit you out. Every hidden side of you is revealed through sex and intimacy, but it is so intense, that you cannot be with the person forever but you feed off of each other’s brokenness. I’m sure if you asked them about what they learned from that relationship, they would say they learned SO MUCH about life, love, and self.

It (allegedly) definitely seems like Namjoon broke up with her around 2015-2016 after the success of I NEED U, when BTS became busier and he had less time to spend with her. From the timeline of BTS songs, I would place their relationship anywhere from 2012-2015. While he was heartbroken for YEARS after this (see the above listed songs, the longest list off all 3 lyrics lists), he has now come to terms with it. It seems like Yerin has come to terms with it as well, as this blog post breaks down each song meaning beautifully. It seems like Yerin has found a box of diaries or love letters from this relationship and has written songs in chronological order of the entire timeline, from beginning to end, with the last song talking about her getting closure with viewing the memories and how the two were not meant to be.

Yerin states that “This album reflects memories, dilemmas, and thought processes I had from when I was nineteen to twenty three.” She is currently 24 years old Korean age (23 years old standard age at the time that I wrote this in 2020, she would be 26 years old in 2023 now). This would put the beginning of the album at 19 years old in 2014 to 23 years in 2018. The timeline does match.

Maybe its not our fault (2019)- how partners in relationship slowly started to drift apart

0310- sex cant save a relationship

It’s like I dont know myself (2017)- the more he probes the more she loses herself and him

Meant to Be (2019)- about namjoon 100000% id bet my life on it. Him saying they’re meant to be, he’s kind.

Across the Universe (2015)- hes slipping away but shes clinging to him

Mr. Gloomy (2019)- talking about how hes so melancholy and loves rainy days (Namjoon forever rain)

Bye Bye My Blue (2016)- becoming resentful of Namjoon’s growing fame while her career is stagnant

“Cuz I’m afraid to say things I want to say. I push you away and make things uncomfortable”

CAN I BE U (2019)- most likely a response to I NEED U

His Ocean (2016)- NJ trying to get a deep connection but Yerin resisting. Namjoon also has a fascination with oceans and always mentions it in lyrics.

“I'm not good at emptying my heart. It's not as easy as it sounds. But why do you keep asking me to do something I can't? There's a lot that has built up in my heart. I can't get rid of it and I'm always frustrated”

Amy (2019)- apologizing for the hardships she put him through in the relationship and admitting she buys all their albums and that their Love Yourself campaign has helped her (allegedly)

Popo (2019) - saying how intoxicated she is with the man (his eyes, his scent, his voice). If the song is about NJ, I mean, same girl. The man in the song wrote her a song and played it for her.

“You'll never know How much your voice attracts me, boy. It's exceptional Especially When you're playing the song for me. I can't take my eyes away”

Datoom (2019)- Reflecting on how much they argued before they broke up

Not a girl (2019) - seoulbeats (linked above) sums up this song perfectly: “Yerin wanting to speak up for herself against a lover who doesn’t seem to truly be for her. There lies a misunderstanding between who he attempts to see her as, versus who she believes she truly is.”

“Can’t be what you want. I can’t be what you were. I can’t say I have done so many things but now. Can’t be good enough”

Newsong2 (2019)- "Want to be just like you once. Make it up if I do wrong. Ignore and leave the silence". Make up and brush it under the rug.

Point (2019)- insecure partner in love keeps questioning her love

London (2019)-partner is trying to idealize her and is not seeing her for who she is

HWASA

It does seem that Namjoon has a thing for Cancers, if my and others’ speculations about his dating life are true. Both Yerin and Hwasa are Cancer suns. While Namjoon’s Cancer Mars is in his 8th house and plays a predominant role in his life and relationships, it is clear to see why he is drawn to Cancer sun individuals. But remember, the 8th house is death and rebirth. Karmic relationships.

Hwasa and Namjoon do have a lot of similarities, from not only looking similar (face, tan, thicc), but to being criticized by fans and media alike (tan, ignorance. RM has apologized and grown from his mistakes. Still waiting on Hwasa’s genuine apology since she continues to appropriate… and do blackface). Both are also highly sexual beings.

While the man in her songs has characteristics that sound a lot like him, so do many other anonymous citizens of Seoul like Hwasa stated. She makes her ex sound like he was available whenever to come and see her, and RM being part of the biggest boy group on the planet doesn’t have much free time, even though his personality is very empathetic and giving. The only reason I included her is because a lot of other people seem to think there was something going on between the two, whether it was a FWB situation or brief one-month romance. I will admit I do not keep up with Mamamoo or Hwasa at all so these are the only songs I know by her. I have heard rumors that she has been in a steady relationship with a man like 10 years older than her and is in a prominent position, like a ceo or something? All alleged, of course. You can never really trust that stuff.

Twit (2019)- how Hwasa wants her lover to not be so passive, loving, and predictable, but take charge and surprise her. This song seems the most likely of Hwasa’s songs to be about NJ because Yerin and BTS’s songs about exes have mentioned the man giving so much of himself into the relationship that he loses himself. Hwasa fans speculate that Twit may be about Loco, as he was VERY chivalrous and swooned over her every time they worked together.

“You give me a lot, but why are you the only one feeling unhappy? Because you breathe only for me. You look so lonely”

Why (2020)- missing her ex, most likely the lover from Twit

“You're my hero. We have many similarities, like a mirror”

Kidding (2020)- sarcastic remarks to a cheating ex and his new lover. Not quite sure if this is about Namjoon because his natal chart doesn’t really have any aspects linking to cheating, but natal charts aren’t the end-all-be-all. Everyone still has free will, and he very well may have cheated.

“Of course you must have been busy. You two falling in love. It’s an old thing that’s thrown out after one use. You’re going to regret it soon. Isn’t it so ironic?”

CHAEYOUNG

Another slightly uncomfortable pattern in all of these alleged “exes” is that RM likes to date younger women, as every single “ex-girlfriend” listed here is younger than him. Namjoon was born in 1994, Hwasa in 1995, Yerin in 1997…. and Chaeyoung in 1999. Namjoon… dude. Chaeyoung is a Taurus, which vibes well with his Virgo sun. Namjoon also has his descendant in Taurus, which is what he looks for in a marriage partner. I don’t have any of the girls’ birth times, but standard 1200 time all results in negative match scores, showing that the majority of Namjoon and each individual girl’s natal chart did not sync well for a compatible match.

Whenever there are multiple fan videos of idol ships, take notice. Weed out the delusional ones but pay attention to ones that seem plausible after researching the K-Pop industry and how idols get away with dating. Idols have confirmed that looking at each other is a form of flirting when at award shows. And there are plenty of clips of RM and Chaeyoung doing just that. Chaeyoung has written her own rap lyrics but mostly it is about a crush and then immediately to heartbreak, so clearly the relationship didn’t last long. The song timelines from crush (2016) to regret (2018) show a brief interlude of happiness and touching (2017). My guess is that after pursuing RM for quite some time, he gave in and hooked up with her, but she wanted more and got her heart broken.

Precious Love (2016)- apologizing and asking scorned ex to come back

“I’m so sorry. Please come back. Do you still feel the same? Have you still not forgiven me? Have the scars I’ve given you Not healed yet? Or have you replaced me With someone else? Is there no place for me In your heart anymore?”

Daring Woman (2016)- she’s young but stop pushing her away

Eye Eye Eyes (2017)- describing a crush she has on someone. Mentions white tee shirt and jeans that he likes, possible reference to converse high

“Ocean-like eyes, I’ll swim in them. Yeah yeah yeah. Everyone knows his pretty eye-smile. I want it to myself. Yeah yeah yeah. Your heart is ice I’ll melt you” and “Do men like White shirt with jeans and most importantly long hair”

Missing U (2017) -ex promised her the world then broke her heart. A recurring theme throughout all 3 girl’s lyrics, hmmmm maybe the ex in Namjoon’s songs isn’t the problem, then?

“You promised me And I foolishly believed. But when you left, you had no guilt. But still I miss you. Miss you baby”

Sweet Talker (2018)- I have a very tiny suspicion this might be about more than one BTS member since Jeonghyeon was involved in the writing process. RM is known for choosing his words carefully, being a smooth talker when it comes to flirting and being a poetic genius.

“You seduced me with your sweet words. You made my heart beat with your clear eyes” and “Your words were as clear as the sky. Your words had no feelings”

The only confirmed relationship I know that Chae was in was with that scumbag tattoo artist that drew those lewd drawings of Chae giving him head and posted it for the world to see and she got so much hate because of it. Thank goodness they’re not together anymore.

This is where I had last stopped in my draft. It says the last edit was December 6, 2020 lmao. So some things I had previously said I may disagree with now but I'm leaving up as I like to see how my thoughts have changed over the years. For example, I now do not think that Chaeyoung or RM ever dated, and that she just had an extreme crush on him. I mean, girl same. Yerin I still believe 100% dated him as she broke formal speech on TELEVISION and called him a pet name. The only reason that wasn't a bigger deal is that both were unknown artists back in 2015. Hwasa, I am on the fence about. I see more reaction videos of Taehyung being the ass man that he is lusting over her than RM. I wouldn't let my buddy thirst over my girl but RM is pretty chill about it. Granted they are in public and being filmed, but even if he did talk to Tae about it, V still did it over and over. Weird, no? So that is why i lean more towards that Hwasa and RM probably didnt officially date, but maybe were just fuck buddies?

Now onto RM’s love life that DID make news:

COUPLES RING

I really wish I had kept a better timeline of him wearing that ring, sigh. The only things I can really find online of him wearing that ring started the whole “namjoon married” ordeal were around September 2020 when that infamous video of him taking it off before going on air surfaced, making it look hella suspicious. I definitely remember him wearing that ring for maybe the entirety of Dynamite promotions? The Dynamite era went from August 25, 2020- December 3, 2021 according to BTS Wiki. This was like peak COVID time and I was an essential worker so I admittedly wasn’t keeping up with BTS that closely and instead was just trying to make it through the day. He was talking about having kids a lot during this time too, and that one live of him showing off the baby shoes did not help his case that he is already married with kids. Namjoon did seem to get in on the joke though by trolling us and posting that photo of him and a little girl with her face covered.

There were also terrible rumors going around during this time that he was gay. Namjoon clearly has a very close guy friend and likes to take pictures with said best friend to preserve memories. To respect his non-famous friend’s privacy, he puts emojis over their face on the photos. Some of the emojis were hearts. Thus the shipping and speculation began. RM eventually stopped posting photos with this friend at all and then deleted all of them.

FIANCEE

June 24, 2022… the day when all Namjoon stans had a heart attack. News broke that he was engaged. So those couple ring photos must be true, we all thought. But alas! HYBE released a statement saying “RM’s marriage rumors are not true. We are currently taking swift action against malicious rumors started on YouTube.” Namjoon himself even posted on his instagram story saying “I don’t know her.” All is well, right? Then Indigo was released… and Namjoon really meant it when he said “I don’t know her.”

It is my belief that Namjoon really was engaged to be married to the person whom he shared couple rings with and who was the lockscreen on his phone. But, based on the lyrics from his songs in the Indigo album, we know that the relationship did not end well. Based on the lyrics in “Closer” and “Change pt. 2”, it seems like she broke his heart by either 1) cheating or 2) putting up emotional barriers and saying she didn’t have feelings for him. I will dissect all songs from the Indigo album in full in a separate masterlist and will link to it here.

According to the Sojang video posted on June 23, 2022, RM’s chaebol “fiancee” was going around bragging about being engaged to the idol. Once word got out about this, they had a huge fight about how she was just using him for his fame and not for his personality. This is where I kind of believe Sojang may have sources that are true. The BTS members have had tons of fake dating rumors and have never felt the need to personally respond and always just let their company handle it. Around this time, Jungkook was being “attacked” by Sojang for fake dating rumors as well and he never responded. But Namjoon decided to go to his personal instagram and type “I don’t know her” which could be viewed in two ways: he really has never met the person Sojang is claiming he was engaged to… or he never really knew the TRUE person who he was engaged to, only the mask they wore. And we all know that Namjoon loves being petty, passive aggressive, and cryptic… even more so when it comes to his exes apparently if his songs are anything to go by. He is straight up hexing his ex at the end of “Change pt. 2”.... The breakup has definitely scarred him. While I think he has been working on healing and that the Indigo album has helped tremendously, I do think that Namjoon is now way more reluctant to love than he once was. He has even said so himself on The Dictionary of Useless Human Knowledge that he used to see himself getting married (hmmm… I bet you did), but now he is unsure if he ever will. His long letter to ARMY recently on Weverse gives me hope that he will find love again when he is ready, and he admits so himself in that letter that he won’t go searching for it but will let divine timing take place and let the chips fall where they may.

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foxes-that-run · 3 months ago

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Where do Broken Hearts Go?

WDBHG and four overall has a 80s sound. WDBHG sounds like a Belinda Carlisle's Heaven is a Place on Earth, both are anthemic 80's songs. In this video is the Spotify visual, TV Special, Four Hangout and when Harry changed the lyric to "Will you ever F*** me again" in Sydney 8 February 2015. It refers to I Love You which Harry wrote under a pseudonym and included lyrics from Taylor's Red.

When was it written & who with

Harry wrote WDBHG with Ruth-Ann Cunningham, (who later wrote No Control and on Niall's solo album) Teresa Geiger (Little black dress), Ali Tamposi and Julian Bunetta. It’s likely it was written over a period of time (December 2013 - May 2014) with these collaborators rather than all in one day with all these people.

7 December 2013, London, seems to be the day shown in the Spotify visual, based on clothes.

12 March 12 to March 25 2014 Teresa Geiger, posted pics on him being in a studio in LA and Harry was in LA and has lunch a 21 minute drive from the LA studio it was recorded at (Dojo Studio). (it was also recorded at Wendyhouse London) This also close to when JALBOH and Stockholm were written.

On 8 May 2014 One Direction record Change your ticket in Fasano Hotel, Rio De Janeiro which is credited in the booklet. The TV Special shows Harry recording WDBHG there (2:25) but the hotel is not credited so that version is not the final vocals, or they used an earlier one.

It was announced 10 November 2014 and Niall says it is his favorite in the Four Hangout and Harry says thank you.

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Niall, All] Counted all my mistakes and there's only one Standin' out from the list of the things I've done All the rest of my crimes don't come close To the look on your face when I let you go

The theme of crimes (stealing, kidnapping)

So, I built you a house from a broken home Then I wrote you a song with the words you spoke Yeah, it took me some time, but I figured out How to fix up a heart that I let down

Home theme, Harry refers to home often. Here the is broken between him and the muse and the muses home. At this time Taylor parted with her publicist who cited her parents fighting as an issue.

The song with the words you is “I love you” performed by Alex and Sierra:

[Chorus: Zayn, All] Now, I'm searchin' every lonely place Every corner, callin' out your name Tryna find you, but I just don't know Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go?

Lonely is a theme of Harry’s work. Harry is searching everywhere for this person, drawing imagery of how far Harry was travelling, as if always in search of this person.

[Verse 2: Liam, Harry, All] Yeah, the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue Is at the top of the list of the things I want

Harry was seen wearing the outfit in the Spotify visual on 7 December 2013, this first line (taste of your lips is top of the list) reminds me of Christmas, when what do you want from Christmas was a common 1D interview question.

Mind is runnin' in circles of you and me Anyone in-between is the enemy

Circles refers to the theme of round again, a cyclical relationship. The only other circular lyric of Harry’s is ‘same mistakes’ which also refers to mistakes. Here like in Same Mistakes Harry is singing to a muse with an on/off relationship that keeps coming back. And in A.M ‘swimming round in our glasses’. Taylor has also posted about cycles and the winding wheel.

Anyone in between is the enemy refers to people others coming between them.

Shadows come with the pain that you're runnin' from Love was something you never heard enough Yeah, it took me some time, but I figured out How to fix up a heart that I let down

'Shadows come from the pain you're running from, love is not something you’ve heard enough.' Brings to mind “who’s this shadow holding me” in Stockholm Syndrome. Here the shadows are haunting the muse, earlier Harry referred to a broken home and here they have not heard love again and he feels sad for having added to their feeling of wanting for love. Harry has figured out how to not let them down and needs to find them to fix it.

[Chorus: Zayn, All] Now, I'm searchin' every lonely place Every corner, callin' out your name Tryna find you, but I just don't know Where do broken hearts go? Are you sleeping baby by yourself Or are you giving it to someone else? Tryna find you, but I just don't know Where do broken hearts go? Where do broken hearts go?

Harry is not with the muse when the song was written, he’s wondering if they are with someone else.

[Bridge: Harry, All] Tell me now, tell me now Tell me where you go when you feel afraid (Where do broken hearts go?) Tell me now, tell me now Tell me, will you ever love me again, love me again?

In the bridge Harry asks where the muse goes when they are afraid, presumably of love. In Sydney on 8 February Harry changed the first “will you ever love me again” to “will you ever f*** me again?” On the same day Taylor watched Ariana perform JALBOH at the Grammy's, Harry and Taylor had broken up but she was not yet dating Calvin.

The bridge further confirms Harry is singing to someone he shared love with before and was not with.

[Outro: Louis, Harry, Zayn & All] Tell me where you're hidin' out Where do broken hearts go? Come on, baby, 'cause I need you now Where do broken hearts go? Tell me, 'cause I'm ten feet down Where do broken hearts go? Come on, baby, come and get me out x2 Come on, baby, 'cause I need you now Where do broken hearts go?x4

In the outro Harry writes that he needs to find the muse, asking them to tell him because he is “ten feet down” as in dead and buried. This is a theme of love that is alive at the cemetery referred to again in HYGTG, Two Ghosts, OOTW/LAWYMMD transition, down bad and loml.

Harry goes on to write “Get me out” of the grave, as in come back and bring him back to life. He has no life without this person. Earlier in the song Harry says he let the muse down, now he’s asking them to pull him up out of the grave he’s found himself in for breaking her heart. He’s asking for forgiveness

#Where do broken hearts go #one direction #Harry Styles #Haylor #WDBGH #song analysis #Lyric analysis

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gaiassecretsportsdiary · 3 months ago

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Brocedes: What is it? Part 4

{Just a note that this is a multi-part series 💛}

Read Part 1 here, read Part 2 here & Part 3 here

Picking back up in 2014

Hungarian GP, Lewis has an engine failure in qualifying, so he will be starting from the pit lane for the race, during the race Lewis does well to make up positions that he lost, then a safety car comes around which puts Lewis in front of Nico but on a different strategy than what Mercedes intended.

Nico asks his race engineer to get Lewis to give him the position back because he needs to pit again before the race end, which will eventually give Nico back P1, Lewis says no, because he started from last and Nico started on pole, basically saying why should I slow down for the guy who is going to be world champion, because I want to be world champion.

Mercedes heavily implied at the time that Lewis' blocking majorly messed up Nico's whole race, but Niki Lauda comes to Lewis' defense, so Mercedes doesn't "punish" Lewis (even though Lewis explicitly denied team orders/refused to be a team player)

It is speculated that after this race, since it was the last race before the summer break, Nico was seething for the next four weeks, but we don't know if that is actually what happened. Just speculation.

Belgian GP, the messiest thing Nico had ever done to Lewis to date. On the second lap of the race, Nico attempts a risky & clumsy move, which results in him making contact with Lewis, giving Lewis' car a puncture wound & knocking him out of the race.

Looking past the controversy that clouds this situation, the facts are that, Nico crashed into Lewis intentionally & didn't back out of the corner to "prove a point". Nico finished P2, but was punished by Mercedes, forced to apologize & he was even booed off the podium.

2014 Abu Dhabi, Lewis wins & becomes world champion, Nico finishes P14, Nico congratulates Lewis, that's the end of 2014 for the two now rivals.

2015

Chinese GP, it's a Mercedes one-two, Lewis is one, Nico is two, but Nico is claiming that Lewis kept backing him up into Sebastian, Nico even going as far as to say that Lewis was trying to compromise his race.

Lewis on the other hand says this:

"It is not my job to look after Nico's race, it's my job to manage the car and bring the car home as healthy and as fast as possible. That's what I did."

U.S. GP, Lewis is trying to take the championship early, so he makes a move that aggressively forces Nico wide at turn 1, which lets Lewis take the lead, where he then is fighting off Redbull & Nico, with Nico eventually leading near the closing laps, but he makes a mistake & turns wide, leaving enough room for Lewis to pass him & claim P1.

Nico finishes P2, not only knocking him out of winning the race, but also knocking him out of the championship. Nico's fuming and calls the move Lewis made in the beginning

"one step too far"

We have now reached the infamous hat throw, where Lewis throws Nico his P2 hat & Nico chucks it back at Lewis.

#f1 #lewis hamilton #lh44 #sir lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #sports #brocedes

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serendertothesquad · 5 months ago

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The Ultimate Serendipity-Odd Squad Lore Post

Because you people keep asking for my entire story.

No, no, not my life story. Christ sakes, we'd be here until Gen Z'ers died off if I had to reiterate my whole life story.

No, I'm talking about my entire Odd Squad story. You know, how I got here to begin with, how I rose to fame, and how I am objectively still a god without a religion, a cult, or a religious cult. That story. You all want to hear that story.

If you're an oldie, you've probably already heard my tale at least once. If you're new here to the funny kids STEM show fandom, then damn boy howdy are you in for a wild ride.

Get a snack and a drink, pop below the break, and let's begin.

Allow me to take you back to the year 2014. I was the ripe young age of 15, finishing up my sophomore year of high school, and suffering from undiagnosed depression of the "I'm trapped in my own home" variety. We didn't have cable, and so stuff like PBS Kids, NBC Kids, and 4Kids were the only things I watched on a regular basis. In the online space, I was largely chronline to the tenth degree (and note the "largely", because, y'know...school). The Internet, and spaces like Tumblr, served as escapism, and I spent a lot of time particularly in the Wild Kratts side of things.

I had first heard of Odd Squad through PBS's own upfront, the PBS Annual Meeting, that was held in May (though the show was, as I would find out much later, officially announced back in January at that year's TCA Winter Press Tour). It was the network's first live-action show since The Electric Company reboot in 2009 that got swiftly cancelled, which was already enough to get me interested because PBS hadn't taken a chance on live-action stuff since. The premise, as well, was charming and incredibly interesting -- a secret organization that solves problems using math sounded a little saccharine and thus perfect for PBS Kids, but since it was live-action, I figured it could bring a little spice to the network in a way that not other kids shows of the modern network era (read: 2013 onwards, past the network redesign) did. The fact that PBS was willing to go all-in on the show, up to teasers, previews, even having two new games available for fans to play before its premiere, was practically the cherry on top.

Fast-forward to around September. By this point, teasers and promos were already coming out for the show that showcased Olive, Otto, Oprah and Oscar in action. And by this point, I was absolutely invested. On a whim, I decided to take my Sony camera and record a reaction video of me watching it. Was it weird? Yes, but I had no money for a laptop that wasn't a decade old and didn't run about as well as a computer from the days of yore. You make do with what you have.

Needless to say, when the first episode "Zero Effect" premiered, I was having a whale of a time. That's...pretty much all I remember. Aside from the swearing. Lots and lots of swearing.

(...Look, it was 10 years ago. My brain can only go on a decline after being fully developed. And the depression has been eating away at me for that long. When astrophysicists perfect the art of the time machine, call me.)

I uploaded it to my YouTube channel the day after the show premiered. No editing, just a straight-cut video of my reactions laid on the table. I figured, "Okay, so this would be nice to look back on and laugh, maybe."

And then, a month later, I got a PM from Joshua Kilimnik, the actor who plays Season 1's big bad Odd Todd.

Before I get into that, though, a bit of backstory for my channel is necessary.

I had made my channel in 2011, when Wild Kratts premiered. At the time, it was mostly hosting Wild Kratts content, mainly Top 10 countdowns of fan videos I stumbled across on Tumblr or elsewhere as well as Sparta Remix-related stuff. (Yeah, remember that old meme? That isn't as dead as you think it is? Yeeeeeeah.) Around the middle of 2015, it unfortunately got struck down pretty hard when PBS began to go Nintendo on it, viewed fanworks as threats to their IPs, and decided to rip down my videos from the 'Net in three easy strikes -- and with it, my entire channel. It stung, to see my relatively hard work go down the drain. I'd be lying if I said I had wanted the channel to stay up just so I can look back on it in 5 years and cringe at how juvenile it was. Christ sakes, I even had MLP stuff up there at one point. Why? Don't ask me. I wasn't even watching the show at the time. I truly got into it when Season 5 began airing.

But back to the PM. You know, back when YouTube gave you the option to PM people.

Getting the PM from Joshua, I was, naturally, suspect. Celebrity impersonators are all too common, and as I would later come to find out, Odd Squad was not exempt. I had to laugh, because an autistic nobody like me getting a PM from a child actor who was in the industry long before Odd Squad was like Ariana Grande up and inviting me to have dinner with her because I made a few comments about her diction. It's a miracle, people. Miracles that only happen to those with life-threatening illnesses or those who have done good for the community. I had neither of those. Unless you count me going to high school as doing the community a service, in which case I have one of those things.

I read the PM again. And again. And again. And something in me thought, "Maybe...just maybe...this guy is actually legitimate. Maybe he's telling the truth about the entire Season 1 cast and the show's crew members, creators included, seeing my video. I mean it's 2014, what creator wouldn't look to the Internet for first reactions on their show?"

Fuck it. iBalled. I went for it. I reached out to Joshua.

And by God's oddness-laden utopia, am I so happy I did.

We immediately hit it off, taking our conversation from YouTube DMs to Twitter DMs (no, my current Twitter is not that ancient -- my time on birdsite-now-saltyman-hellhole is a whole different story) and discussing our hobbies and what we did. Joshua confided in me that he helped disabled kids, which, honestly, is a green flag in my book off the bat as someone who is, in fact, disabled. I told him about my animal shelter work and how I loved the show.

At the same time, I had posted on Tumblr about the show. Don't ask me what the post was about -- I honestly couldn't tell you, and combing through the tag is something I'd need a hell of a lot of motivation for -- but it somehow, by some astronomical means, took off. People came in like a small trickle. It was small, but over time, we built a strong community. I didn't exactly know how big my impact on people was until I read "how I got into Odd Squad" stories and saw my name pop up enough times to the point where I could safely say I was an inspiration to more than one person.

At some point in 2015, I had created a Wiki for the show. Fandom -- or Wikia, as it was called back then -- wasn't exactly new territory for me, as I had visited other show Wikis before. However, my Odd Squad Wiki didn't take off, and someone else ended up making another one that became far more successful.

...Yeah, you're surprised, aren't you? Figures. But not even I can lay claim to everything.

When the other Wiki took off, Joshua decided to dive right into the fire and engage with the fandom directly. Now, for any big-name fandom, this is everyday normalcy. The My Little Pony fandom has fans directly engage with cast and crew members who answer their questions, for example. But for small fandoms of niche IPs -- and oh believe you me, Odd Squad was incredibly niche back then -- a cast member interacting with fans was a huge deal. The hype only increased when Joshua was named an administrator, along with a few others, myself included.

Needless to say, Joshua being involved boosted the fandom's activity exponentially, and not just due to his spectacular acting on the show. Fanfics, fanart, fan videos...it was a bustling time of fan content. I can recall some of the most notable works just off the top of my head. The fandom got to be so busy that I made a news blog just to cover every bit of news, shifting away from my Wild Kratts news coverage to focus on a different show instead. I enlisted a few old friends to help me out, converted them to be oddballs (which, I will say, was a stroke of luck), and put them on the "staff team". My aim was to create something akin to Equestria Daily, but on a smaller scale. We did editorials, episode followups, and scoured the Internet for any and every bit of Odd Squad news we could find. It became a reliable source for many, especially considering PBS's horrible track record with even the most basic of news -- cancellations, renewals, and other such announcements. Not to brag, but I like to think I did a better job than them at actually giving news to fans who deserve it. (Hell, I still do. My hunger for even small crumbs of news is very strong indeed.)

I can easily recall when Season 2 was announced. Me and my friends were ecstatic. For me, I never thought Odd Squad would get a Season 2, and the Season 1 finale -- affectionately named OINFO (don't confuse it with "O is Not For Old", that's a different rodeo; this is "O is Not For Over") -- made sure of that. Originally, it was set to air in May, before it got shifted to June to coincide with Season 2's premiere.

And even long before that, the movie being announced blew our minds. I genuinely couldn't believe this niche little IP, birthed only several months ago, was getting a movie. And not even one of those specials that PBS markets as a movie as a ratings stunt. No, no, this was a full-blown theatrical movie. With A-listers to boot! And it was a damn good movie!

(...Okay, unrelated, but man, I'm reading through all my old posts and comments on the Wiki and cringing. God, did I really type like a 10-year-old back then when I was in high school? Egh gross cringe. The "let her say fuck" was strong with me back then.)

Of course, as most actors do, Joshua largely moved on from the show as the years went on. Most long-timer fans stuck around until the end of Season 2 before either other interests caught their eye or real life just got in the way too much. A majority of these fans dropped off the face of the Earth like an introvert who suddenly disappears mid-conversation, though they still popped into the Discord server a few times and I reconnected with one or two on Twitter. Hell, some of them even made a "hey, I'm back, and here's what's up" post on Fandom that made me ask if their accounts got hacked.

As a result, when Season 3 premiered, the fandom had slowed down to a crawl. Anyone who's bore witness to it, whether an episode or a nugget of criticism, can probably guess why. (And anyone who hasn't can feel the wrath of my "trust me bro" card, thank you.) It was like I willingly leapt off of the boat, it sped away without me, and I was trapped in the middle of fuck-all nowhere with sharks. So, you know, like Open Water if it was actually good. But the point stands in that I was pretty much all alone. I couldn't crawl to anyone for the sweet release of death after seeing just how hard S&P tried to avoid The Shadow's very obvious murder attempt by way of hacking into a car to make it fall into a lake of green goo. All I could do was scream and cry into a mic, edit, upload to YouTube, and let all the unsupervised kids looking for free episodes come to me in droves.

Oh, and post to Odd News. Until I accidentally deleted the account.

By that point in time, my old friends had all left due to real life commitments, and only one, Angelica, remained. But even she drifted away, and I was stuck running it all alone. So, I made the difficult decision to let it rot, and frankly...I haven't touched it since. Largely because I left Tumblr entirely and only just now came back. On the news front, I expanded my coverage to PBS Kids as a whole network, just as I do on Twitter.

It wasn't until the back half of Season 3 premiered that the fandom slowly but surely began to grow from planted roots, and I could connect with people again. Seeing people flood the Discord server and Tumblr, sharing art and news and theories, was amazing. Not for Season 3, though -- it was because of the past two seasons. Honestly, to say there's been more talk about Otis and Odd Todd than about any other character in the entire franchise is a hell of an understatement, because it dominated pretty much 98% of the fandom.

From there, new fanworks, fanart, and other pieces of fan-created media were created, and many still continue to be created to this day. Though hyperfixations can be yoted off the cliff and die in an instant (with deepest apologies to Shroom), it's great to see a burst of activity in such a small fandom. Hell, it even got big enough to where we had a Secret Valentine's exchange a couple months back, which was a real joy because it gave me a chance to flex my writing chops even if it did leave me on the verge of a third panic attack. And...the fandom being revived did land me a solid interview for a college assignment. Which, to me, is my own equivalent of getting a dedicated panel at a convention.

But this isn't a whole entire story about fandom lore. It's a story about me.

And honestly...I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little tired with Odd Squad myself.

Between the choking responsibilities of adult life (yay work), the state of my mental and physical health (yay depression and anxiety), and the franchise being fucked over sideways to Pluto and back by numerous entities (yay TV industry), I really can't just focus on Odd Squad anymore. Now, I'll give a fair warning to you and tell you to make no mistake -- my enjoyment of the franchise will die with me and my entire bloodline if the franchise itself doesn't die first. But I've found other special interests and hyperfixations that have grabbed me more than the funny kid agent franchise has. I derive more joy from binging the 90s Frasier series, Pretty Cure, and Neighborhood Wars than I do with the funny kid agent franchise.

Now, does this mean I'm leaving the fandom? God no. To do it on the verge of the franchise's 10th anniversary would be utter blasphemy. And I do plan on weaponizing this blog for more Seren's Studies, including episode reviews and character analyses I can't do with the limited resources I have. But the drive for Odd Squad is just...no longer there for me. I did not, unfortunately, get the "Odd Squad forever" autism. I got the "childhood is hell, but okay, sure, I'll make you a functioning competent adult to a certain degree" autism.

Maybe one of these days, amidst the countless new pieces of media that keep releasing, I'll be able to rewatch Odd Squad. It's worn out its welcome nostalgia-wise, but I find it to be a pretty enjoyable view when I take off those glasses and put on the "my God is an awesome God and that's why I try to attend church every Sunday" ones. I'm still making crossover fan projects to other IPs like MLP, Super Monkey Ball, and Precure. And of course, I'll be seated for Odd Squad UK to see if it's good or not -- I'm more than happy to take the bullet for people who don't want to see it for whatever reason, just as I did for the back half of Season 3. But for now, the drive is pretty much gone.

I will admit, I'm likely missing some stuff. My memory is absolutely terrible, and I had to go fishing for a lot of stuff to refresh it (one of the reasons why this took so long to release in the first place). But this is what I can dredge up.

I'm honestly proud of the little fandom I birthed. I could work a hundred jobs in my lifetime and still say that founding the Odd Squad fandom is by far my greatest accomplishment. I've met so many amazing people, seen so many amazing things, and really, I'm hoping to see more people in the years to come. If the aim is to introduce Odd Squad to new generations of kids, teens, young adults, and adults alike, then I'm all for it. Expose them to goodness. None of that Cocomelon shit.

Thank you for reading, and to all of the people in the fandom both old and new, thank you for touching my life in ways I never thought of. If you've got any further questions about my story, send 'em my way; I'll be glad to answer 'em.

See you all in the next Seren's Studies, whenever that may be.

#odd squad #odd squad pbs kids #seren speaks

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batsplat · 4 months ago

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I keep seeing people say Agostini likes Marc and I think you had post which included what Agostini thinks about the rosquez situation.

I was wondering if you knew if they have actually interacted or how this fondness started. And if it's continued.

Apologies if you've already made a post about this and i missed it 😊

And thank you for all the responses to my prev asks!!! You are like my favourite grandparent i sidle up to and ask to reveal some new thing of the MotoGP world. Which you do so patiently 💛. ( I'm sorry for the grandparent comparison i couldn't find a better one 😔😔😔😔😔).

ahaha that's super sweet. and honestly, I don't think there's really a story here, beyond 'ago quite likes him'! they did a joint interview of sorts at the laureus awards in 2015 which is worth a watch - which came after that 2014 season in which a big talking point was how it looked like marc might be able to match ago's numbers in 'winning everything'... also you have that presser clip from 2013 where the riders are asked ago or hailwood, and marc says "if everybody say ago, ago" and laughs, which. I mean. I'm sure respected ago just fine but it's probably worth pointing out he's not exactly an enthusiast, is he

but yeah, beyond wading into a couple of marc controversies, ago's definitely spoken warmly about him quite frequently over the years. as early as 2014, he was saying that if marc matched his records, he deserved to do so - and in 2020, he said marc didn't need to switch bikes to prove his greatness. he compared marc to one of his own big rivals, hailwood, in 2019, he spoke with sympathy about marc's switch to ducati at the back end of last year and sounded confident marc could win again (+ here), and made similar comments early this year and likewise was fairly encouraging in may. in 2023, he also spoke about marc's capacity to put on a show. plus, he also said in 2018 that marc and valentino's relationship doesn't matter as long as "they both make us have fun and give us a show", and also that "they do not have to marry". giacomo agostini homophobic dog question mark

a lot of it just seems kinda generic 'legend of the past being nice about the new kid', like say doohan was with valentino but without the mentorship angle. but yeah, ago does seem fonder of marc than he does of marc's contemporaries? with valentino, let's be honest, part of it is that he was the first to really show up and challenge some of ago's records (even steal some of them like premier class wins) - plus he's italian so there's really more direct competition than there is with marc. but y'know, obviously ago's been asked about both of them gunning for his records (generally win number for valentino and title number for marc)

you can read tonal differences into those answers if you so choose, but you can also say he's expressing roughly the same sentiment for both (if you so choose). ago did also joke in early 2020 that he'd beat them both:

(again, this is obviously a joke and I'm not going to read anything into it lol, just thought I'd include it)

ago does have retired athlete talking head syndrome where he does... y'know, have a lot of opinions and has shared quite a lot of those opinions. which... okay, I'm aware this isn't really what this ask was about, but. look. I just have to bring in jorge lorenzo at this point. this is only tenuously relevant, but I think it kinda provides a fun contrast with how utterly drama-free the dynamic between marc and ago is... AND gives some much needed context for how ago was relating to some other star riders of this century

ago and jorge had always gotten on pretty well - and ago joked back in the day that jorge had to stop valentino from getting too many more wins. it is probably worth mentioning that in that 2013 clip I linked to above, all the riders at the presser were asked the 'ago or hailwood' question. in response, jorge, that old simp, essentially went 'actually the goat is valentino'... but that's really isn't about ago as much as it is about jorge's relationship with valentino being *gestures vaguely* complicated. weird. complicated. anyway, look, ago and jorge got on well, had done so for years. then, in may of 2020, shortly after jorge's retirement and with no racing whatsoever going on during lockdown, the two of them got into a PUBLIC SPAT!! (low key between this and the dovi feud picking up again at the end of the year, jorge was really working overtime to make motogp less depressing that year)

the argument was prompted by ago's comments about jorge's time with ducati and honda:

so basically he's saying jorge was mid for three years because his head wasn't in it. which is... a debatable assessment of jorge's 2017-19, but let's just run with it. now jorge obviously isn't the type to just let this kind of thing go unchallenged, so he hit back:

for some reason. jorge's father also got involved, as he has an unfortunate tendency of doing:

(I'm gonna be so real, personally I wouldn't be particularly flattered if one of my parents suggested I could challenge one of my main career rivals 'on my day'. but anyways)

and then mr agostini in turn doubled down and told jorge that 'the truth hurts':

note the bit about how ago had sided with jorge against valentino! it is broadly true that ago has often been very complimentary of jorge, including to the detriment of valentino - and apparently that might have created tension with valentino's team. ago also added the following bit and it's kinda even more brutal:

so basically - ducati didn't pay jorge that much to win three races. funnily enough. jorge did not take kindly to these comments... and then he hit back on instagram (all of this is still in may 2020 btw, literally the only thing we had going for us). here's the text from the post:

jorge lorenzo a proud fellow warrior in the 'it's useless to compare different eras' campaign, saluting a real one

so, after jorge had said that ago doesn't know what he's talking about, that this kind of criticism was 'improper' from a legend like ago... we'd actually finally gotten to the point where ago wanted to clamp down on the controversy. here's what he had to say:

he doesn't want controversy! it's not his fault jorge didn't win! jorge didn't win a title with either ducati or honda! what a shame!

okay, there is arguably a slight difference in rhetoric between saying 'well I can't say he won at honda when he factually didn't!!!' and 'ducati paid him a lot and got nothing out of it' - BUT obviously this was still a bit of an olive branch from ago. unfortunately, we've gotten no updates on whether ago did ever reach out privately, but we did get jorge's response. and jorge... kinda accepts the peace...? but also not really!

so to paraphrase jorge here, he's basically going 'sure fine I'll accept the peace but I also know ago will start the same shit again when he has a microphone in front of him!!' - and also makes it clear that jorge will not shut up about ago chatting shit, unlike those other cowards who just let ago get away with it (including other champions). jorge then goes on to talk about their personal relationship and ago's past support of him:

and then jorge goes on to stridently defend his time with the ducati project - pointing out that, without detracting from what casey had done, it was a very good bike back when casey won the 2007 title:

(yes, obviously there is a rider who was doing rather a lot more with that bike during the same time span as jorge was there - who you'll note jorge very much does not name. I suppose jorge's argument would be that this particular rider had been with the team since 2013. without getting too much into 2017-18 discourse in a post that really isn't about that, it is broadly true jorge just Was Not Clicking with that bike for way too long, but he was running dovi pretty close in 2018 until he got injured at aragon. which is also because dovi was having a pretty ragged first half of the season himself but y'know, six of one half a dozen of the other. also low key those three jorge wins did get during his time at ducati massively flatter how that stretch of his career gets perceived a few years later, but again. this isn't all too relevant. just some historical context!)

and jorge rounds up the whole thing by demanding an actual apology:

and, lastly, here's what ago said in june:

anyway, that's basically it as the public spat went, but it did still give us some nice little gems. you'll note that jorge believes ago was supporting him against valentino - "what I know is that in the duel I had with rossi he wanted me to win races more, for the titles and all that". and then, of course, there's the fun bit where jorge says that ago has also said inaccurate things about valentino before: "because he has also said things about valentino many times that did not correspond to reality". jorge going full 'enemy of my enemy' about valentino on this issue is just extremely him, not least because that is a rivalry where, according to him!! ago basically always was rooting for jorge! and YET jorge's like 'valentino may not speak up on this issue but I!! will!!' I honestly have no clue if there's anything specific jorge's referring to here that ago is getting wrong about valentino... but again ago does have retired athlete talking head syndrome so really it could be anything

what this does do is give us a little bit of confirmation that ago probably isn't the world's biggest valentino rossi fan (obviously, valentino wouldn't let you know that kind of thing so it's great when you've got someone a little more talkative like jorge around). jorge didn't have to bring in valentino here - he did so of his own volition, because he apparently disagreed quite strongly with something ago had said about one of jorge's fiercest rivals. by contrast, there's nothing comparable you can point to with marc... which, given that we've established ago has run his mouth about past champions, would lead you to the conclusion that ago really is a bit of a marc fan. all things considered, ago seems genuinely fond of the little guy! he's never really talked him down, or taken another rider's side against marc! why? ... unfortunately, I have no clue. maybe it is linked to ago's feelings towards valentino, maybe it's completely unrelated and he just likes marc a lot, maybe he's a fan of him as a rider or his personality or something else. there's not really anything to suggest they're particularly close - for instance, I don't think marc has had dinner with ago's family like jorge has - but he generally always seems happy to offer up a lot of marc prop without any qualifications. it just seems like quite an uncomplicated relationship, and given ago's been fairly vocal within the past year about marc's switch to ducati, about how he could win again etc etc... he's perhaps quite enjoyed following that story. mostly, there's clearly just a lot of mutual respect there... and if ago did ever find cause to criticise marc as strongly as he did jorge, well, it's a lot less likely marc would decide to clap back on instagram. that'll help, I suppose

#i was going through the ago/marc quotes and they're like. nice. but it's also quite generic uno i didn't have much to say about them #dumb instagram beef from 2020 though?? that's my speciality #jorge obviously also has massive retired athlete talking head syndrome let's be CLEAR. happens to a lot of them #//#brr brr #batsplat responds #yoro #alien tag #jorge's whole relationship to vale/marc is so funny he really is their biggest hater and their biggest fan #they could shoot someone in front of him and within 2-3 years he'd be like 'well..... low key goat behaviour what can you say'

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