#Len Bias

[soulchild-ai3]

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[qiekzart]

you should draw transfem len and transmasc rin but they just look like each other.

day 14 drawing len until my preorder arrives

TRANSGENDERISM!!!!!!! i lvoe transgender siblings. no bias. thank u for the request!

u can send requests in my askbox o((>ω< ))o (0 requests in askbox as of writing)

[hometownrockstar]

i think that if you, regardless of your weight, want to express your attraction to fat people but are afraid of being fetishistic, your first step is to examine and unpack your feelings about fat people and why you are attracted to them. does the source stem from the feeling of shame of being attracted to an "othered" or societally undesirable body? or is it simply another facet of your attraction, admiring curves and features and strength and happiness and the body of your loved one?

i believe that is is possible and healthy to be attracted to fat people because of their body and features, just that it is hard to show this or express it in a healthy manner because attraction, stigma, and societal standards are so intertwined. when it shows in the form of a thin person fetishizing and objectifying fat people as a kink, the fat body is turned into an object of scorn, something that is shameful to be attracted to because of how it is the opposite of the norm. the fat person and their feelings are not considered. but when this shame is challenged and discarded, attraction can form from the connection and love and personhood that comes with loving a fat person, and admiring everything about them. their body is not a detraction, something that they have "in spite of," it is another part of what makes them beautiful and valued.

[basi-boy]

"ネムリヒメ" (The Sleeping Princess) by Nem feat. GUMI and Kagamine Len (April 10, 2015)

[sammygender]

writing an essay on russian formalism & concepts of fabula and sjuzhet and the only thing running through my head is ‘i could’ve written such a great supernatural essay on this’

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Do you have some advices to deal with 'this one opinion'?. When everyone likes your stuff and you are happy with it too, but this one person didn't like/said smth bad, and then you are in spiral that everyone's pretending and actually this one just had the balls to say the truth? I'm struggling and you are in this for a long time, so maybe you have some advices? Take care <3

Hi anon!

It might help to know a little bit of science here.

Humans have what's called an in-built negativity bias. This means that when two things exist, one negative, and one positive, of equal weight, humans will biologically/cognitively automatically give the negative one a lot more weight. No one escapes this, and you're experiencing something extremely universal.

Human beings are also likely to think that negative words are more negative than often intended, and that positive words are less positive than intended.

Because this is in-built, it often requires conscious work to overcome. Many authors on AO3 as an example know the experience of one shitty comment 'undoing' how good all the previous comments felt. It only takes one person saying 'I really didn't like this story' for many authors to trick themselves into thinking this a) must then be universally true and then b) no one else actually likes the story or it doesn't mean anything to them, even when there's literally words right there that strongly suggest otherwise.

The first thing is to acknowledge your negativity bias and that your brain is kind of lying to you. It's doing this to try and protect you from harm, but in a way that's actually hurting you, because brains do stuff that don't actually help us all the time. The reality is that the vast majority of people do not waste their time and 'lie' in comments about how much they like something, because everyone has more important things to do in their life. They're only going to say something positive, for the most part, if they think what they've experienced is positive enough to warrant that. This is more and more true the less well you know someone.

The second thing is to then remind yourself that something negative isn't more true just because it's negative. This is also negativity bias in action! It feels more true, but emotions =/= actual reality - they're real in that 'they are very real and valid when I feel them, but I might not want to make big decisions about other people's thoughts and actions based on them, especially when negativity bias is active.'

And then the third thing is to just remind yourself that everyone is experiencing this. Right now thousands, maybe tens of thousands of creators - artists, authors, show-writers, poets, comedians, sports people, etc. are literally experiencing this right this second. Anon, all your favourite celebrities have likely experienced this (unless they're complete asshats who don't care about other people). Your favourite writers, artists, and more have experienced this. Would you tell any of those people whose works and creations you love, to listen to the few haters that come after them? Do you think they should go 'oh, that means everyone else is lying to me.'

Of course we feel pretty down sometimes. Because I have the ability to delete negative comments, if I get some hate, I tend to delete it. I don't want to see it again. It's my prerogative because my AO3 account and my Tumblr account etc. are 'my space.' When it comes to hateful book reviews, I...don't read my book reviews anymore and haven't for a long time. (I got misgendered too often, even in the nice reviews, so I just stopped).

And then create like a document or notes page or something to write down the positive things you've heard and actually reread them sometimes.

Sometimes negative comments are actually useful. Someone pointing out an incidence of actual racism (like, unintentional, but still happening) or something that is culturally offensive in a story can help us to consider editing the story or change the way we write about that subject. Someone saying they couldn't read a story because of all the typos, might get us to use some free editing software.

For the most part negative comments aren't worth your time. You can't make everyone like your stuff anon. People are going to hate your stuff. That's reality. It's completely inescapable.

But if more people like or enjoy or love your stuff, that's how you know you're on the right track. <3

If your goals in the world are to have most people enjoy what you do, you're already achieving that. One negative comment feels like a bit of a hit (or a lot of one), but it's a cognitive bias that's quite detached from reality. When you take it really personally, it's often a sign to just disconnect and reconnect with loved ones. Talk to a friend, hang out with a loved one, watch something you really love (and even remind yourself that some people hate that thing lol and you wouldn't want those people to stop what they love doing either because it means you couldn't watch the thing you love otherwise), get some rest. Our brains lie to us more and more loudly if we a) are tired, b) are dehydrated, c) haven't been eating or eating well, d) have certain mental illnesses, e) have certain chronic illnesses that cause pain or fatigue.

So addressing all of these factors can help a bit too.

And, I hate to say it, some of it's just practice. I've been doing this for long enough I've lost count of how many hateful things I've heard about my writing. They all still hurt. Some can ruin my day. Some will make me not write that day. Some still play in the back of my mind when I'm feeling really insecure. But they used to ruin my week or month so, like, progress. *sad smile*

But they're still not the majority of the people who talk to me about my writing therefore... negativity bias in action! Very interesting to know about, very horrible to experience!!

[liyazaki]

first kanaphan 🖤 | requested by @firstkanaphans

send me b&w; I'll make it color

before ⬇️

[thisghosts-obsessions-again]

Okay listen! If a native writer ever releases a political court drama, doesn't matter if it's historical fiction or fantasy, from ancient China or central Asia, or literally other parts of South Asia and has a full grasp of the history and context with RC, I. WILL. EAT. IT. UP!!! FROM A NATIVE WRITER WHO ACTUALLY GREW UP IN THE CULTURE!!! Please!!

[pandelacreme]

a lot of media complaints about having a female character’s arc center patriarchy/sexism for being cliche or woke laziness is kinda… silly

[queen-scribbles]

I gotta say, one of my favorite things about writing Briony and Darius in tLBT is their relationship being of a nature where, looking from the outside, you can't really tell if they're

a) really good friends/comrades in arms who are comfortable being casually affectionate(well, Briony is. Darius is more withdrawn but lets her get away with it)

b) friends with pining on one or both sides they just haven't dealt with/recognized yet

c) already in a relationship but don't make a big deal about it

[am0ng-us-sus]

Okay,hear me out here…

This is my new favorite way to practice drawing more elaborate poses. Fr I got more interesting pose references from this game than from Pinterest (imo)

[burnedself]

not gonna lie the idea of an oc incarnation is extra appealing because, at least to me, 13-14-15 seem to have this tangible character continuation whereas 12 feels so isolated at times so I'd love to have a 13 that's a more direct continuation

But to loop back to the topic of 'voice', trying to think of actors that feel right seems borderline impossible

[don-lichterman]

On The Rampage, Don Lichterman, Writes the Willie Geist BioPic & Len Bias BioPic Screeplay, and a John Lennon / Paul McCartney Song in 2 Minutes Using A.I.

[incorrect-lightlark-facts]

Grim is a giant creep and I desperately wish he was written better, but at least he made the decision himself to tell Isla that he had altered her memories.

By no means does it excuse how he handled the situation otherwise—he still took her memories without her knowledge and then pursued intimacy with her under false pretenses—but I can respect that he confessed of his own volition instead of letting her hear it from someone else. It's his one moment of actual character growth that I would love to see in the hands of a more capable author.