#LOOK AT MOUSE WILSON

[anxiousandcaffinated]

OMG LOOK AT IT THIS IS SO CUTE 😭

School mice doodleees

[frwalkwithme]

big boring wedding. [playlist]

[cyrki]

watching other medical dramas 2 fill the void but nothing hits like House MD🙏😞

[aguademelon047]

Wilson has the kind of look in his eye that you only see in baby deer and the pleading emoji

[teardropwolf]

that one meme but I did it in ms paint with computer and mouse instead of my tablet

did this a bit ago but didn't post right away. I have a few things I haven't posted that I could probably put up daily since I haven't really been getting much up.

[tarkeliantea]

Watching Loki after so much actual gay media is such an experience. They are doing regular old 2012 queerbaiting breadcrumbs but I've been immunized with the old men yaoi mRNA vaccine

[ravencromwell]

The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.

--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad

[storywriter12]

🥺❤️😍

Wilson's sleepy mood

[happy74827]

One Call Away

[Wade Wilson x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: During one of his "jobs," Deadpool gets a call from his favorite gal [GIF Creds: jdsheart]

WC: 1970

Category: Fluff, Major Comedy {TW: Deadpool’s Humor/Nonfiltered Personality}

This man is so hard to write. I’m always stressing the noggin when it comes to planning and plotting 😔

『••✎••』

"And away we go..."

One neck crack and a couple of hip twists later, he was off like Aladdin and his fucktoy carpet, scaling the building similarly to a chameleon on LSD.

The only thing that was missing was some epic music.

He'd been chasing this baddie around the city for almost two days now. Some big-shot mob boss with ties to Hydra, or the Mafia, or the Yakuza, or some other three-letter-acronym organization. It was hard to keep track of them all at this point. They were all the same, except for the name.

They all had their own agenda.

Kill him, keep him prisoner, pay him off...

Wade never cared enough to listen because it was always the same. He just got hired to do the dirty work, and the pay was good.

The killing was better.

This one, however, was particularly good at eluding him. He'd been trying to get his hands on this man for a few days now. It wasn't as though he was trying to be stealthy or anything, either. He'd walked right up to his front door, knocked, and was greeted with a spray of machine gun bullets.

So, the usual.

But then the guy ran and didn't stop. It was like the fucking Roadrunner met Sonic the Hedgehog, and they decided to fuck around and find out.

Wade was getting real sick and tired of being a Roadrunner, too. He had a reputation to uphold. He wasn't known as the Merc with the Mouth for nothing. He was supposed to be the one doing the running and the killing.

Not the other way around.

Finally, finally, he managed to reach the roof where the guy was currently taking cover behind a small brick shack. The sun was rising, but it was still dark, and there were a couple of floodlights shining on the rooftop. It made him think of the night he'd had that heart-to-heart with Blind Al, even though all she really wanted was for him to bring her some of that special brownie mix.

What a night that had been.

But anyway, this monologue is starting to get too long, and we should probably move things along, eh?

Right.

So, the baddie.

His name was something long and non-English.

Salvatore, or Santino, or Salvation... Whatever the fuck it was, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that it was time to make him dead.

He stepped around the corner and was met with a spray of bullets, all of which lodged themselves into his Kevlar vest.

"Oh, come on!" he yelled over the sound of the gunfire. "This is real leather, you know. I'm tired of all the offscreen sewing and shit."

When the spray finally ended, he took a moment to catch his breath.

"…ow," he whispered to himself.

"You shouldn't have followed me here," the man said.

"Yeah, whatever," Deadpool replied. "Look, I'll make this easy for you. You drop down and give me fifty, and I'll let you keep that hideous mustache you're sporting."

The man's eyes widened in surprise.

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"Yes, yes it is," Deadpool assured him. "You got a squirrel living in it or something?"

"It's just a little bit of gray, you dick," the man argued. "What about you? What's with the mask? Are you hiding a mustache under there, too, or something? Maybe some acne scars?"

Deadpool shook his head and stepped forward, his guns drawn.

"Don't come any closer!"

"You know, this would be much more intimidating if you didn't look like a cartoon mouse."

"Stop it with the mustache!"

"Alright, alright," Deadpool said. "Enough with the mustache. But what is it about your hairline? I can't put my finger on it."

The man sighed in exasperation and pulled out his pistol, aiming it right at Deadpool's face.

"Hey now, don't point that at me," Deadpool scolded him. "That's not a very nice thing to do."

He ignored him and pulled the trigger, a loud boom ringing out as the bullet fired. It whizzed by him but missed its mark.

"You really are a dick," He grumbled before aiming his gun right between the man's eyes. And he was going to shoot, honest.

He really was.

But then his phone rang, and he was well-reminded of the current song playing through his head.

I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man. I can shake-ah my fanny, I can shake-ah my can!

Needless to say, he was distracted.

He lowered his gun and looked down at his pocket, where his phone was still ringing and still vibrating against his leg.

"Shit, hold that thought," He said to the guy, and he holstered his gun.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?!"

Deadpool put his finger up to shush him before pulling his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

If you're an evil witch, I’ll punch you for fu—

"Heyyyy," he said in a sing-songy voice, "you've reached the phone sex hotline. For kinks and fetishes, press one. For booty calls, press two. For your favorite mercenary, press three."

"Ey, pendejo—" His opponent started, but he cut him off by snapping and raising his finger.

"Cut it, Tuco Salamanca. Breaking Bad called and wants its meth-cooking mustache back."

"Wha-I-you-"

"Anyways, this is your favorite merc speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

"Is this a bad time?"

Wade's eyes widened in shock, and his jaw dropped open when he heard her voice on the other end of the line.

"Baby girl! Is that you? Oh, how I've missed your voice. It's like hearing an angel, or an angelic chorus, or a whole bunch of angels, but you're the most important one. Like, the lead singer or something."

"I literally saw you last night." Your voice was always drenched with the most amazing kind of sarcasm, and he'd missed it.

"And?"

"It's only been a few hours."

"And?"

"That's a short amount of time."

"And?"

You sighed, but he knew you weren't really annoyed.

"Anyways, you sounded busy," you continued, "so I'll just let you go."

"What?! No! Don't hang up!" He shouted into the receiver. "I've only fiddled with my pistols! Nothing interesting is happening right now!"

"Your pistols, huh?" You asked a hint of mischief in your voice.

"Well, yeah. They're the most important part of the mission, you know."

In the corner of his eye, he could see his target making his way towards the edge of the building. Quickly and efficiently, without dropping his attention from his conversation with you, he lifted his gun and fired a shot at the man's knee.

"Ah, fuck!" the man screamed in pain. "My knee!"

"Hey! Language!" Deadpool scolded him. "The lady of the house is listening!"

"Lady of the- what the fuck?!"

"I said language, you mustachioed rat!"

"Mustachioed rat?" You asked.

"Sorry, babe," he replied. "You know how excited I get when Downtown Abbey is on."

“There’s gunshots in Downtown Abbey?"

"Gunshots? Oh, no, no. That was… uh, a car alarm. Yeah, the neighbor's car alarm was going off."

"Uh-huh," you said, not sounding very convinced. And, of course, that was right around the time the guy's gun went off again, this time hitting him square in the shoulder. It made the phone fall out of his hand and clatter onto the ground, but the call was still connected.

"Dammit!" He yelled, looking at the fresh blood dripping down his arm. "That's gonna take forever to heal!"

"Who are you talking to?" The man demanded, his gun still aimed at Deadpool's face. "You're working with someone?"

"Hey, now, I don't remember giving you permission to talk," Deadpool told him, holding his bloody arm up to his face. "Look, I've gotta call you back, babe. I know it's been so heartbreakingly long—"

"Again, only a few hours," you said.

"—but duty calls. Love you, bye."

"Love you, bye."

With that, the line disconnected.

"Ugh," he groaned, his heart aching for the loss of your sweet voice. "I miss her already."

"Ey," his opponent growled, drawing his attention. He started speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, which Deadpool didn't really understand, but he didn't have to. The guy was just ranting and raving.

"Alright, alright, chill," Deadpool said. "Just calm down. It’ll all be over soon, little buddy."

"I am not little! I am a giant!" The guy protested, and Wade could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. "And I will not chill!"

"Well, can't argue with that, I guess," Deadpool said with a shrug, and he took aim. But before he could pull the trigger, the guy was running again.

"Hey, what did I tell you about running?!" He yelled, but his voice fell on deaf ears as the guy reached the ledge.

"I am a giant!"

"No, you're a giant asshat!"

"I will not be bested by some masked buffoon!"

"Buff? Me? Why, I never!"

"You're the biggest asshole I've ever met!"

"You know what? I am a big ass! A big, round, bubbly ass." He paused for a second. "Hey, what's your favorite flavor?"

"Fuck you, you red-clad imbecile!"

"You know, I'd ask you out to dinner first, but we're kinda past that now."

"Argh!"

"Alright, enough stalling," Deadpool said. "It's time to end this."

"Yes," the guy said, turning his gun back on Deadpool. "It is."

Of course, Deadpool being the smart-ass he was, he'd already taken a step to the side. As the bullet whizzed past him, he reached for his gun.

"Now, where did I put that thing? Oh, there it is."

He aimed the gun and fired, and the man fell back onto the ground. The bullet hit him right in the middle of his forehead, his blood splattering all over the concrete.

"Ha ha! Fatality. Deadpool wins!" He said, his voice taking on the deep, grounded tone of the narrator from Mortal Kombat. "Flawless Victory."

He stood over the body for a few seconds, reveling in his victory, before he felt the presence of another.

The gun on his right side got ripped from its holster, and the barrel was aimed back into his face, as it always seems to be.

But, he already sensed it was coming, so his fingers wrapped around his other and aimed that right in the golden spot… and let’s just say, The Golden Girls was a little less golden and a lot more crimson.

"Wow, this has got to be a record," He said as he bent down to stare at the new one’s anguish. "Two dead ugly mustaches in the same day. You can call me Sweeney Todd because shit… I just shaved you the fuck up."

He didn’t give the poor bastard a chance to even whimper before he fired another two shots into the man's head. All in all, this had been the easiest payday he'd had in a while.

He picked up his cell phone and slipped it back into its pocket before bending down and scooping up the mustache man's pistol.

"Ooh, lookie here, a nice, shiny new pistol," he said to himself. "Just what I've always wanted. Well, I don't actually need it. It's not like I have any other holes in my body, but you know what they say. The more the merrier."

He stuffed the gun in his holster and turned around, heading back the way he'd come.

"Time to get back to the good stuff," he said. "I have a date with my favorite girl."

He hopped up onto the ledge and looked down, his eyes locking on the window to his apartment.

And when he arrived, bloody and battered, you could only smile while holding up little ole Mary Puppins in all her drooling glory.

God, how he missed his girls.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Logan and Wade with shy gn s/o please?

I’m going to assume separate unless told otherwise as poly relationship between Wade/Logan and reader would be cool too, but again unless specified I’m just going to assume it’s separate.

Wade Wilson/ Deadpool

Wade found your shyness adorable but found your reactions to his teasing and flirting.

And he abuses the shit out of that to his hearts content.

Mouse was a nickname that you were given almost immediately from the moment you met as you were quiet and cute as one too that to Wade it just fit you perfectly.

Wade; stop being so fucking cute!

You: huh?

Wade: you heard me! It should be illegal to be as cute as you! You should be locked up for the thing you do to me, but I’d rather keep ahold of the details because half of them might make you faint little mouse.

You: oh. 😶🫣

Wade will make it a tradition to take you by surprise, whether it be by randomly kissing you, hugging you from behind, playfully smacking your ass, it didn’t matter because your tendency to whine his name out in embarrassment ‘waaaaddde!’ Before hiding your face in his chest as he laughs and whispers teasing words into your ear that only makes your flustered state worsen.

Wade didn’t mind that you were shy, he really didn’t as he found it to be one of the many things he loved about you and wanted to protect, he didn’t want you to feel as though you should have to change to better fit him when he was more content with you being you.

He’s never had as much fun nor laughter in his life like he did when he was with you, and Wade considered himself lucky to have someone as soft and sweet as you that he often times thought you’d be better off without a fuck up like him in your life but he’d kept it to himself, disguising it with humour and teasing you instead.

Logan Howlett/ Wolverine

Logan finds you being shy amusing to say the least.

It brought his protective instincts out as someone as soft and shy and softly spoken as you would need him by your side 24/7.

He’s your guard dog, scary dog privilege in the form of a very traumatised man who’s became more familiar with pain and heartbreak than the tender affection and touches you give him.

So you found it best to be patient with Logan and give him time to become familiar with your love and affection until he felt ready to reciprocate in his own way. And Logan appreciated you for that and would let you know his appreciation by planting a soft kiss to your forehead.

Logan is a softy with you and while he’s quick to bite back at other people, with you he’s much softer with his words that they’re practically sweet murmurs whispered within your ear, as he held you against his chest protectively as you both drifted off to sleep.

He more or less acts as your voice whenever you felt discomfort, he’d could easily tell from your bodily language and would immediately step in, and voice your discomfort for you in your stead for Logan knew that you’d rather avoid conflict then delve headfirst into it like him.

However Logan would be the type to try and teach you ways to defend yourself and how to stick up for yourself when he couldn’t, this is probably out of his fear of losing someone dear to his heart again, but he wasn’t about to risk looking you when he could give you the tools to keep yourself safe while he was away.

He gives you his jacket, just make sure that the point gets across that you were his and not theirs, after all he’s a possessive man who doesn’t like sharing what’s his with anyone else.

He didn’t care about anyone else, you were the only thing he gave two shits about alongside Laura Kinney (x 23) other then you two, nothing else mattered to Logan. He just wanted you to be happy for as long as possible.

Side note: he’d love it if you and Laura got along, it’ll mean all the more to him.

[plorpl]

More info (and insane screenshots) from the House MD DS game for those who want to know.

Way, way too much info under the break!!

The game took me about 5 hours to play total, including pauses for screenshots and cackling laughter. There are 5 cases, and each one has: the main case, a clinic patient, and a small subplot about Cuddy that strings through all 5 cases and concludes at the end of the game. It's extremely linear. To solve the case, you do activities when you are prompted, each having its own types of mini games. Activities include: examining the patient, ddx-ing, running tests, running labs, questioning the patient/friends/family, and searching houses/other areas for clues. All of these mini games suck. The best one is when House has to have an epiphany so you play brick breaker with his brain:

WHEN YOU DDX THEY USE THE MOUSE BITES PHOTO

You'll notice here that the visuals are a little uncanny valley. The likenesses are... not good.

The worst offender is 13, who always looks just a little bit off.

One of my favorite parts of the game is that you get graded on your performance and if you do bad, Cuddy doms you.

And when you do good, Wilson kind of negs you?? Feels like the people who made this game were obsessed with him (same). The contrast in these two screenshots really gets me.

More insane top screen screenshots without context:

Honestly, some of my favorites need both screens to really be appreciated:

I do not recommend playing it, really. These are the best parts, and the game itself is slow and can be frustrating. There is also... a lot of problematic nonsense. Worse than the show. Not going to try to make excuses here.

That being said, it's surreal. House is like a bad stand up comic for most of the game, and so much is out of character - House visits the patient FIRST THING every case, the whole team misses very obvious deductive leaps, there's no gay sex, etc, etc, etc. But at the same time, the people who made the game clearly had a love for the show. It follows the typical structure of an episode faithfully and has some detailed, satisfying visuals in it. Everyone's clothes change each episode, even in their little bottom of the screen sprites. This Wilson makes me happy with his show-accurate mug and hand gesture:

And there are some nice interiors/exteriors of the hospital and better rendered pictures that make me smile:

It made me and my friends laugh a lot. And it also makes me a little sad. I spent a lot of my childhood playing shitty licensed games like this (remember the madagascar one???), but they are mostly a thing of the past. I know they were cash-grab trash, but it's odd that there's this genre of game that doesn't really get made any more. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad this game exists.

Anyway, here's an upsetting House and Wilson for the road:

[diorcities]

with you (teaser)

spiderverse chronicles. haechan x reader, mark x reader genre fluff, action, mature content content spiderman au, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, selective mutism, sign language, smut (not in the teaser) more tba teaser wc 1.5k full fic est. 20k

an: since i'm making progress on the story (shocking) i'll share a little teaser. the past few days i've consumed a lot of spiderman content, it's not funny anymore. it was a sign of the times. i'm so excited to write this. happy reading ♡

description: after a catastrophic scientific explosion, chaos is unleashed in new york. a deaf girl must face the city that she once knew now submerged in a mayhem, pairing with a daily bugle intern to try to solve the mystery when one of the many affected with extraordinary abilities seems to have a duplicity between good and evil.

he can sense you're there.

just moments ago he had swept the area, now, he looks intently at the boxes loaded into the helicopter.

“planning on stealing the moon tonight?” he's growing bored. “you guys aren't elusive at all, you should practice a little at that.”

the ambiguity of his own reaction puzzles him. there was no hurry in his movements, nor the usual tension. instead, there was a deliberate pause, and this unbearable boredom.

he's quick to deflect a couple of bullets; it comes out spontaneously now. all his senses are enriched. everything vibrates. everything sings. he's sneaky instead of a fighter. and he's also fond to make jokes at inopportune times.

“isn't this labor exploitation?” he inquires. “i hope you get paid overtime,” he says again when in response, a dozen men point their guns at him. he reacts shooting his hands upwards.

“easy, i'm your friendly neighbor.” a man turns to him. the big fish. “oh, my bad, i mistook you for some lookalike with a bunch of small yellow people.” he also doesn't miss the opportunity to make an emphasis on his size.

wilson kingpin snorts, annoyed. “after months, i'd think you'd stop acting like a kid.”

“i am a kid.” he chuckles, removing the mask.

there was no point in hiding his identity when the old crow knew who he was from the very beginning, though it also made him a prospect for his tasteless jokes.

he takes a look at the containers when the man turns his back at him and shout instructions. “nano-technology prototypes...” his voice comes out in an interrogatory tone, sniffing through the large box.

the man in charge sees him snooping around when he speaks. “are you interested?”

“they wouldn't hurt,” he replies, distracted; something stirs inside him when you move closer.

“take a few, see if you put it to good use.” he sneers and he mimics him, nonchalantly.

he's pretty quick and elusive. skills, he guesses, his best traits; but even though, he might need some; he's been doing alchemy lately, so he grabs two and when the man looks away, grabs a few more. he can put good use to that kind of technology. “any other tasks you need me to do?”

he bristles when the man smiles, agreeing; he's been waiting for the moment. doing silly tasks, dirty work. finally he was getting closer to get what he wants. “yes. why don't you take care of that little reporter mouse?”

fisk goes back to his job as if he's bored, and his lips tighten into a grimace that he already knows, making him take care of you.

“was this what you wanted, to steal technology?” you ask to the wind. the men hardly pay attention to you, but he does.

he must acknowledge that you have guts even though fisk is giving you a window because you don't pose a threat. not because of his size, but because of his influence.

“what's in the boxes?”

“as if i were going to tell you.” he mocks, hiding behind the mask. “why don't you cover tonight's weather instead, family of murderers?” he sees you freeze. “why don't you leave these matters to us and you take care of yours? seems like you're in deep shit,” he says, taking one step closer.

when you realize it, he's in front of you and you have nowhere to run. yet your feet recede to the edge. “mmm? don't test your luck and stay out of it.”

he gives you recognition that you don't look even a little intimidated. “who are you?”

his smile almost reach his eyes, “as if i were going to tell you,” he repeats, morbid.

fisk growls behind you, and something dark spreads on his gut, “get done with it, bug.”

he does what he says. first, he steals it from you in one move. and you're not quick to protest when his hands half-push you and your feet stumble. doing silly tasks, dirty work. one more thing and it will end.

nevertheless, getting rid of you is hard for him.

your hands try to hold on but he pulls away, so you fall into nothing.

like a bullet, he watches you fall, waiting. and when a blue boost barely flashes around you, he moves away from the edge. afterward, you just fall into new york.

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

James Wilson is a mouse, and Greg House is a rat.

Mice: Typically seen as "cuter," and people generally have more empathy for them. However, they can be just as destructive as rats.

Rats: Generally seen as less palpable than mice and are less tolerated, often seen as "dirty." Yet their incredibly smart and actually quite clean and loving once you get to know them.

"Look at this cute mouse nibbling a piece of cheese!" vs "Omfg look at that subway rat dragging a piece of pizza."

[babyboywilson]

messy top lip kiss (how i long for our trysts)

also posted on ao3

Wilson was used to finishing his rounds on the oncology floor and seeing House already invading the space in his office like he owned the place. Sometimes he’d find House leaning on the wall right next to his office door- tapping his cane obnoxiously against the word ‘Oncology’ just because he could. Occasionally, if House was bored, he’d see the older man pacing at the end of the hallway between his own office and Wilson’s, like he was waiting for Wilson to decide between the privacy of his office or the glass dome of House’s space. It was a cat and mouse game that Wilson was used to after all these years.

But something about this was different. 

House was leaning against the wall by the janitor's closet between their offices; staring intently at Wilson as he approached. Wilson expected House to fall into step with him on the way to his office with some ridiculous demand that Wilson would pretend to fight over before caving like he always did. He’d left a bag of chips on the desk and he could already picture House snagging them and eating them before he’d get the chance to. 

What he wasn’t expecting as he walked past was the sudden movement of House’s cane to dart out; the handle of the cane snagging against his wrist, and pulling. Hard. The sudden yank threw off his equilibrium and caused Wilson to stumble from his pathway towards his office. An undignified sound slipped from his lips as he was pulled into the supply closet with a little more force than was strictly necessary. 

“House, what the hell are you doing?” Wilson hissed, rubbing absently at the ache that was blossoming in his wrist. “Is this some elaborate hide and seek you’re playing with the rest of your team? Because I have important paperwork I need to-”

House surged forward, pushing Wilson back into the shelving behind them and pinning the younger man in place. His cane clattered to the floor and his hand found purchase on the back of Wilson’s neck as he pulled Wilson into a hungry kiss. “Shut up,” House muttered against Wilson’s mouth before nipping at his lower lip. 

Whatever snappy comeback Wilson wanted to bite out quickly dissolved on his tongue as his hand found its way to House’s hip, pulling him closer. 

God dammit. House knew this was his weakness. Knew that Wilson would go along with anything House was planning with just a few hurried fervent kisses that always managed to leave Wilson speechless and dizzy. 

But he couldn’t give up the fight that easily. What would their lives be if Wilson didn’t push back just because he could? Even if House always ended up winning in the end. Half the fun was the chase, after all. 

“House,” Wilson gasped between kisses. “What are you-”

“Shut up,” House repeated, breaking the kiss and fumbling to undo the top button on Wilson’s shirt. 

“House,” Wilson said more urgently, hands shaking as he tried to loosen the knot of his tie so that House’s lips could kiss a burning trail down his throat. “Why…”

House tore his mouth away from Wilson’s neck, leaning back slightly in the dim light so he could glare at Wilson. “Do you want to waste time asking questions like ‘What are you doing?’ or ‘Why now when you’ve never made a move on me at work before?’. Or would you rather make out in the janitor's closet like horny teenagers?”

Wilson rolled his eyes. “Shut up and go back to shoving your tongue in my mouth.”

The smirk on House’s lips sent a fast heat racing up Wilson’s neck and across his cheeks. “That’s what I thought.” 

That look in House’s eyes could get Wilson on his knees blowing him in half a second flat. And he would- workplace etiquette be damned- except House was kissing him like there was no tomorrow and Wilson’s brain had completely short-circuited. 

It was easy to get lost in the kisses. The way House delved deeper deeper deeper into his mouth, as if he were analyzing and memorizing every millimeter of Wilson’s mouth and committing it to his memory. How he slowed down for just a few moments to allow Wilson to catch his breath before it was impossible to resist the magnetic pull between them and they were frantically kissing again. 

The air was filled with the sounds of breathless gasps and heavy kisses. Now that he knew House was on a mission, Wilson could actually keep up and plan his next move. He let House lead the kiss, letting House’s tongue lick across the roof of his mouth teasingly. When House made a move to pull back for air, Wilson chased after him, catching House’s mouth in a bruising kiss. 

Game on. 

House let out a groan of surprise, wobbling slightly at the change in pressure on his leg as Wilson pressed into his space. Wilson nudged House back and bracketed his arms on either side of House’s head, pinning him in place against the wall. Dropping a hand down, Wilson rucked up House’s shirt, seeking skin on skin contact. A low moan filled the air as House dropped his head back against the wall in pleasure.

With a smirk of his own, Wilson took the opportunity to seal their mouths together again.

It was agonizing torture to slowly ghost his lips against House’s, initiating the barest of kisses and then hovering just out of reach. Catching the shiver that raced down House’s spine, Wilson teasingly licked along House’s lower lip. House swore under his breath. Wilson grinned.

“Is this what you wanted?” Wilson said smugly as he ghosted a kiss against the corner of House’s mouth before backing away again. 

“Get on with it already. Your foreplay is horrendous,” House grunted. 

Huffing out a laugh, Wilson closed the gap and made sure to graze his lips over the pulse point in House’s neck; feeling the flutter against his lips as House’s heart rate kicked up. “You’re right. You’re not enjoying this at all.”

House opened his mouth, most likely to spit out some cutting retort, but Wilson cut him off by crashing their lips together and pushing his tongue into House’s mouth. Stroking his tongue over House’s as their lips fought for control always spurned a groan of approval from House, and today was no different. The shuddering moan that House let out was pressed into Wilson’s mouth and it sparked a burning desire deep in Wilson’s gut.

Licking his way along House’s tongue and then across the older man’s teeth, Wilson focused his attention on the way their lips melded together. The scrape of stubble against his jaw since House hadn’t shaved in almost a week. The way House was leaning up into the hand Wilson had shoved up his shirt, as if being kissed wasn’t enough and he needed more. 

And that just wouldn’t do. Not on Wilson’s watch. If House wanted to make out in the janitor’s closet then they’d make out. No need to cop a feel when he could get House to look wrecked and desperate with just his mouth on House’s. 

Pulling his palm away from House’s waist, he planted his hand back on the wall so he was bracketing the older man’s head again. House broke the kiss with a glare. “Bad foreplay is better than no foreplay at all.”

“Guess you’re outta luck then,” Wilson replied, and then he was kissing House again. Hurried desperate kisses that led to ragged shallow breaths. The slide of their mouths between pants, tongues dancing together before they broke apart, only to chase each other again moments later was intoxicating. Catching House’s lower lip between his, Wilson slowed the kisses down just so he could crack his eyes open and see the trembles that wracked through House’s body in anticipation. Then he licked his way back into House’s mouth and their lips were slotting together again.

Kissing House was always good, always something Wilson relished, but this was different. Adrenaline pumping, House’s hands in his hair, pulling their bodies flush together so he could rut against Wilson’s hip. 

This was ecstasy and Wilson never wanted it to end.

He couldn’t help the little breathy, needy gasps that burned up his throat and were pushed into House’s mouth. Dropping his hands from the wall, he scrambled to unbuckle House’s belt without tearing his mouth away from House’s.

Just as Wilson made a move to slip his hand into House’s pants, a loud beeping filled the air.

”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” House hissed, fumbling to yank the pager out of his jeans to silence it.

“Don’t you need to-”

“No,” House said through gritted teeth, drawing Wilson back in by his undone tie and sealing their lips together again.

Wilson hesitated for a moment, but then House’s tongue was in his mouth and all thoughts of pagers and cases were gone. Falling back into frantic kisses, Wilson aligned House’s good leg between his thighs and the burning friction was back within seconds as they grinded against each other.

He’d barely managed to get his hands back down to House’s unzipped jeans before the pager was going off again. Biting back a choked off groan, Wilson dropped his head against House’s shoulder as House thumbed at the device. 

“There, that should…” House started to say, but his phone ringing shattered the moment.

“For the love of God,” Wilson muttered, pulling back and running a hand through his tousled hair.

House brought the phone to his ear. “Busy right now. Call back in 5.”

Wilson couldn’t hear what was being said on the other end of the phone, but he could hear the urgency in what he suspected was Foreman’s voice and knew that the game was over.

“Get her prepped for an LP. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wilson drew in a shaky breath and released it slowly. “If you weren’t just as turned on as I am right now, I’d say this was your plan all along.”

Rolling his eyes, House muttered, “Oh yes, you got me, Wilson. I planned to jump your bones and then leave myself as blue balled as I left you.”

Wilson raised both of his eyebrows suspiciously. “That does sound like something you would do.”

House bent down to grab his cane, then zipped up his jeans as Wilson fixed his shirt and tie.

“Maybe next time you want to make out in the janitor’s closet, don’t do it in the middle of one of your cases.”

“Oh, so you’re expecting a next time, are you?”

Despite the absurdity of the entire situation, Wilson couldn’t help but grin. “Whatever your little plan here was, you didn’t succeed. Nor did you finish what you started. That’s going to eat at you for days.” Brushing his hair back into place with his fingers, Wilson took a step forwards to open the door. “But now I know what game you’re playing. And now it’s my move.”

[the-writerwoman]

@bewarethecourt Here we are! Your Western AU! I won’t lie, it’s had me in its grips as I love the fact that Logan is the outlaw here. I’ve been OBSESSED.

So I hope you like it 😊 and I hope everyone else does too!

@its-in-the-woods here’s your tag as I forgot to do it for the Shrek AU 😂

—————————

The desert sun beat down on the small, dusty town outside as Wade Wilson, better known to the world as Deadpool, the insane bounty hunter, lounged in his office with the epitome of lazy confidence. His boots rested on the edge of his desk, his chair tilted back precariously, and his wide-brimmed hat pulled low over his face. To the casual observer, he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. But anyone who knew him understood that Wade’s relaxed demeanor was as dangerous as a rattlesnake coiled and ready to strike.

The creak of the door broke the stillness. Wade didn’t bother to move as Nathan Summers, Sheriff Summers to most, stomped in like he owned the place.

“Wilson,” Nathan growled, his gravelly voice cutting through the quiet.

“Ah, my favorite lawman,” Wade drawled, pushing his hat up just enough to flash Nathan a wide, toothy grin. “What brings you to my humble abode? Need me to scare off some rowdy cattle rustlers? Or are you just here to bask in my radiant charm?”

Nathan didn’t bother with pleasantries. He slapped a wanted poster down onto Wade’s desk. The face of Logan, the infamous outlaw known as the Wolverine, stared back at him.

“I need your help,” Nathan said, crossing his arms. “Leader of the most notorious gang this side of the Rio Grande. Robbed five banks in the last two months. Pulled a train heist just last week. Killed two deputies. Wanted dead or alive. He’s managed to evade capture so far, so we’re having to resort to,” he grimaced, his gaze dripping with disdain as he looked Wade up and down, “other means.”

Wade’s grin widened as he picked up the poster, studying Logan’s ruggedly handsome face. “Dead or alive, huh? My specialty. I’ll have him in a week. Two tops.”

Nathan scowled. “Just don’t go causing more trouble. Or wrecking shit like last time. The church still ain’t fully fixed.”

“You wound me, Summers.” Wade clutched his chest in mock offense. “I’m a professional. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an outlaw to catch.”

~~

Tracking Logan down wasn’t easy, but Wade wasn’t just any bounty hunter. He was thee bounty hunter. Deadpool always got his man. By the time he caught up to Logan, the moon was high in the sky, casting a silver glow over the riverbank where the outlaw sat, sharpening his knife.

Wade stepped out of the shadows, his hands resting casually on his gun belt. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Wolverine himself. Gotta say, I expected someone taller.”

Logan froze for a moment, then slowly stood, his piercing eyes narrowing as he took in Wade’s figure and signature red mask. “You must be Deadpool,” he remarked, his voice calm but edged with menace. “Heard about you. Reckon this is the part where you try to take me in.”

Wade smirked. “You reckon right. Though I gotta admit, you’re even prettier in person. Didn’t think outlaws were allowed to look this good. Seems unfair.”

Logan’s lip curled in a snarl, and in an instant, he lunged. The bounty hunter laughed, sidestepping the attack with ease.

“You’re feisty,” Wade said, dodging another swing. “I like that in a man.”

The fight that followed was a whirlwind of skill and fury. Logan’s strikes were calculated and brutal, while Wade’s movements were almost playful, a maddening dance of evasion and counterattacks. Finally, Wade managed to pin Logan to the ground, his knife pressed to the outlaw’s throat.

“Alright, peanut,” Wade said, looking down at him. His mask obscured his expression, but his voice dripped with amusement. “I can take you in warm, or I can take you in cold. And don’t tell anyone I said that, it’s from a completely different Disney franchise, and I don’t need the mouse on my tail.”

To his surprise, Logan grinned, teeth flashing in the moonlight. “You’re good,” he admitted, his voice rough but tinged with something like admiration. “Haven’t had this much fun in a fight in years.”

Before Wade could quip back, he was suddenly yanked off Logan and slammed into the dirt. When he looked up, he found himself surrounded by Logan’s gang. Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Hank.

Scott, ever the serious one, glared down at him. “We should kill him. He’s a bounty hunter. You know he’ll come after us again.”

“Yeah, I know,” Logan said, brushing dirt off his shirt as he rose to his feet. He glanced at Wade with a dark smirk. “But killing him now would be too easy. Tie him to the tree.”

Scott frowned, clearly unhappy with the decision. “That’s reckless, Logan. You know what he’s capable of.”

Logan’s expression hardened. “I said tie him up. You got a problem with that, Scott?” The others looked between them, uncertainty filling the air as Scott argued with their leader.

Scott hesitated for a long moment before reluctantly obeying. Muttering curses under his breath, he bound Wade’s hands and hauled him over to a nearby tree, securing him tightly.

As Logan and his gang mounted their horses, preparing to ride off, Wade called after him, amusement in his voice. “See you soon, peanut!”

Logan paused, glancing back at him. For a moment, something unspoken passed between them, a challenge of sorts. Then Logan tipped his hat, smirked, and rode off into the night.

Wade leaned back against the tree, chuckling to himself. “Oh yeah,” he giggled. “This is gonna be fun.”

[househrt]

very important do you have a picture of wilson in that booby trap in house's apartment in 8x8 he looks like a little mouse i need it for scientific purposes

i have great news for you and it's this website (it's admittedly full of ads to the point where it's a bit of a pain to navigate, especially since you have to click on the season first, then the episode, then each individual screen cap you're after). here's some I prepared (downloaded from that site) earlier:

this is the closest we get to Wilson in fishnets