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livingtobethevillain · 2 months ago

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Hello everyone! As some of you know I made this post a couple days ago. And surprise surprise I decided to actually write it!!

Introducing "Mosaic Madness" by CainsFandomChaos on Ao3

Link here

Enjoy!

JJ hums to himself while seated upon the cafe bar stool. It was purposefully slid up as high as possible so his legs could kick back and forth under him. His knees strain with the force of his kicks but he pays it no mind. He sways and mutters to himself and fiddles with the loaded gun in his left hand, his sickeningly sweet frozen coffee in the other. JJ takes a loud sip and giggles at how the barista behind the counter flinches.

Suddenly the cafe door is kicked open, the dainty bell all but being ripped out of the doorframe and the wall having a hole punched into it by the door handle. JJ perks up with a grin that split his entire face open.

“Bear!” JJ tosses the drink somewhere behind him, ignoring the tell-tale sound of coffee slapping against the floor and the wounded sound coming from the underpaid worker still frozen behind the counter.

The boy in the door frame grins right back at JJ and spreads his arms just in time for JJ to throw himself into him.

“JJ, How’re you doing, love?” Bernard said, his voice soft and if you listened closely you could hear what sounded like static and echoing applause woven in between every word.

“I’m doin’ great Angel!” JJ squeezed Bernard, planting a warm kiss on his cheek.

“Was just finishing off some coffee when you made your entrance.” JJ laughed.

Bernard sighed exaggeratedly if only to hear JJ laugh some more at his dramatics. “Baby, I’ve told you that you need to cut back on caffeine. At this point I think shooting heroin into your veins would be healthier.”

“Aw, we can do that later, I promise.” JJ pulled away from Bernard's embrace briefly with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He was soon pulled back into Bernard's crushing embrace.

“I pull away first.” Bernard stated calmly, covering JJ’s body like a dragon would hover over his hoard.

JJ hummed unbothered, he knew better than anyone that after the cult Bernard needed as much painless touch as possible.

“Right, sorry about that Bear! Y’know my memory is-” he wiggles the gun still in his hand. “Shot.” JJ laughs loudly before whipping his head to the side. The barista freezes.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a bit jumpy?” The Barista shakes his head slowly.

“I mean you’re acting like I’ve pointed a gun at you!” JJ pouts.

“You have pointed a gun at them, darling.” Bernard says fondly with a final borderline suffocating squeeze to JJ’s torso. He pulls away and leans against the counter with an adoring expression.

JJ groans, within the span of a second the gun disappears into one of his many pockets. He wraps his arm around Bernards and Bernard lets him drag him out the door.

“Let me correct myself then, they're acting like I’ve shot them. And I haven't! I mean I almost did, cause it’s funny seeing just how much red can squirt out of a singular gunshot wound–did you know that the average adult has a bit more than a gallon of red in their body?--but then they offered me a frappe and I couldn't kill them then! That just wouldn’t make sense.” JJ rambles, wildly gesturing with his hands.

Bernard nods in agreement. “Plus that’s not the kind of story the author is going for. All things considered this story is meant to be pretty cute.” Bernard offers helpfully.

JJ laughs. “Oh I love when you break the fourth wall,” he coos, Bernard grins with what might seem like too many teeth to anyone else, but to JJ, Bernard was the most beautiful when his eyes were unhinged and seeing what seemed to be beyond their universe. Bernard was always so much fun, but even more so when the weight of the dark circles under his eyes seemed to lighten with Bernard's manic glee.

JJ abruptly straightens at the sound of gunshots close by. Bernard smiles lazily.

“What do you say about continuing this lovely date from inside a firefight?” Bernard asks teasingly.

“Well that sounds just fantastic!” JJ says, now scooping up Bernard's hand into a firm grip and leading them towards the violence at a brisk pace.

The couple were practically vibrating with excitement. Just before entering a decrepit building Bernard reaches into a nearby alley and yanks loose a baseball bat from seemingly nowhere. He smacks it into the palm of his hand with a solid sound and with one last shared grin, JJ and Bernard leap into the fight. JJ and Bernard could see various Bats flying around but they didn’t seem to notice them in the chaos and JJ and Bernard easily took advantage of that fact.

When JJ fought the various goons running around like headless chickens, he was vicious. There was no rhyme or reason to what he did, there was no pattern to memorize or easy way to combat it. Occasionally some nameless face would get a hit in that surely should have knocked him down, but he just bounced back up with a cackle. Then between one blink and the next he whipped out his pistol and shot them point blank, cleanly through the space between their eyes.

Then there was Bernard, he weaved between the mob like water over rocks. He twisted and bent in unnatural ways and every drop of blood that dripped onto his skin seemed to add to the force behind his hits. In contrast to JJ’s unnatural face splitting grin, Bernard wore a bitten off, close mouthed smirk that screamed danger and madness. Where JJ was staggeringly human in the way he fought, Bernard was otherworldly.

Before long the fight had ended, the battlefield divided into two parts. One side held dead men and women riddled with bullet holes and busted open skulls. On the other were the lucky bastards that got off with zip tied wrists and maybe a couple broken ribs. The Bats of course were now finally aware of the couple's presence. JJ and Bernard being wrapped around each other laughing when they carefully approached.

JJ spotted Batman and abruptly looked as though he had bitten into a particularly sour lemon.

“Tim,” Batman said uncharacteristically gentle.

JJ scowled. “Wrong.” He said forcefully.

Batman opens his mouth to respond, looking pained, but JJ slapped his hands over his ears and gives a blood curdling screech. Batman winces but Bernard barely reacts.

“I don’t understand why you keep doing that.” Bernard said with an unimpressed eyebrow raise. “You know all it accomplishes is making him upset.” he glares.

“Y’know if you weren’t so important to the narrative, you’d be dead by now. You should count yourself lucky that you're DC’s specialist boy.”

Batman looked confused but JJ looked at Bernard with heart eyes, having already forgotten his previous upset.

“I love you.” JJ breathed dreamily.

“I love you too sweetheart.” Bernard says, hauling JJ into his arms and glaring at Batman over his head before striding out of the building.

And if he purposefully crushed some skulls under his foot just to make Batman squirm, that was his business.

—————

JJ cackles as he and Bernard tumble through his window in a tangled mess of limbs. They stayed splayed across the carpet wrapped around each other and talking in hushed tones nose to nose. Then JJ’s door creaked open and there was a woman in the doorway.

“JJ, now where have you been puddin’? Me and Ivy been waiting for forever!” Harley huffs playfully, leaning against the doorframe.

Bernard lets JJ scramble to his feet and tackle Harley around the waist, grinning up at her.

“Sorry mama! Me and Bear were out on a date! Had lotsa fun and lost track’a time!” He chirps.

Bernard glided silently across the floor and loomed behind JJ awkwardly. Harley gave a restricted wave from where JJ had pinned her arms in his hug.

“Bernard, it’s always nice to see ya. How ya doin’ kiddo?” Harley tilts her head, eyes searching.

“I’m alright, Mrs. Quinn. Same old same old. I'm better now that me and JJ are together again.” Bernard says, giving a small but genuine smile.

Harley softened subtly.“Yeah well, I know JJ is just as happy. I know he was devastated when you were held at the police station for the week.”

“I am! I’m super happy!” JJ twists and jumps into Bernard's lanky arms, who surprisingly holds him up just fine.

“You’re so strong.” JJ swoons, Bernard rolls his eyes but notably holds JJ closer.

Harley huffs, “Alright sugar, me and Ivy are gonna be in the livin’ room. Y’all don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” she says teasingly.

“That doesn’t disqualify a whole lot, mama.” JJ grins.

“Exactly.” Harley says, playfully ruffling his hair. “Don’t die and don’t get caught, m’kay puddin’?”

JJ nods enthusiastically and Bernard follows suit though with much less energy. Harley chooses that moment to duck out of the room, the door closing behind her with a creak and a click. Bernard then climbs over the scattered chaos of JJ’s bedroom floor and with a twist he gently dumps JJ–who had climbed onto his back at some point–onto the bed.

JJ quickly burritos himself into a knitted monstrosity that he had made at the height of a random hyperfixation. Bernard crawls in after him and curls around him instinctively like he was a protective barrier against the world. JJ leans into Bernard, greedily soaking in the affection and Bernard returns the favor readily.

What they had was unconventional but it was beautiful and precious to them. The shattered pieces that had once made them individuals had melted together into a one of a kind mosaic. And although outsiders had their unwanted concerns–although they considered the couple mad–neither of them had any desire to live separately ever again.

----

@'s!!!

@alor-thes

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Thank you so much for reading!

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