#Jesus christ why the fuck is this getting to me so much lmao
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habken · 2 days ago
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Hi there!
I have been rewatching MHA and came across many accounts that support bkdk. So i wanted to ask you the following:
Bakugo wanted to kill Izuku on their first day and during the bomb test. He tormented him for over 10 years, insulted him, bullied him, tortured him. Because he has "promise" Aizawa never called him out on his toxic behavior, but threatened Izuku with expulsion all the tims, labeling him as "problem child". All Might never did anything, even after Bakugo states, that he wanted to kill Izuku. Bakugo never faced a consequence for his oppressive behavior, he even bullied his so-called BakuSquad. (He got himself captured by the league and only denied their offer becUse they were "losers") Meanwhile, Izuku clearly shows signs of PTSD, wincing everytime when Bakugo was near him. Bakugo used so many explosions on him, he should be covered in scars. It's clear that he is Hori's favorite. The MHA fandom is pretty toxic, we all know this. Bakugo's "character evolution" didn't make him a better person. He never really changed or helped Izuku. When he "moved out of instinct" he did so because it's "instinct", because he trained so much. He didn't care that it was Izuku, he didn't think about it. After the second/ third season, the other characters just didn't care anymore about his behavior towars Izuku. Aoyama's parents wanted Aoyama to have a quirk to prevent him from being left out of society, so basically to protect him from people like Bakugo. He was the most privileged person (hit the genetic lottery, intelligent and rich parents). But still, MHA clearly shows that if you feel insecure you can bully and torture and there will be no consequences. I love Todoroki and Izuku much more, because they at least help and support each other. Shoto had a terrible childhood, but he never turned into an abuser. He never turned into his father. Bakugo's "excuse" towards Izuku was just laughable (makes the whole Sasuke/ Naruto episode after their big last fight look like true cinema). In the end, the fandom (and Hori) support an abuser/victim relationship.
Why do you support bkdk?
Their relationship gives people a false sense of what a victim of abuse should do. MHA never took Izuku's pain and past seriously. They portrayed Bakugo as "tsundere" instead of showing the real consequences of being the abuser for over a decade. Kirishima showed how to behave if you feel "unmanly" or "inadequate". Bakugo in the MHA world was a racist the minute he found out that Izuku didn't have a quirk. He victimized himself and tortured Izuku because he thinks that the world revolves around him. Shouta from "A silent voice" shows how to seek redemption and forgiveness. Bakugo just wanted to be Nr1 hero, but never a good one who saves people.
MHA clearly shows that you can bully someone, torture someone, torment someone- and you will never have to face consequences. A spit-out "sorry" after 10+ years of bullying and right after insulting someone's mental state is enough to be forgiven.
jesus christ lmao
See I could rebute your long ass essay and give my reasons for liking the ship, but you don’t actually care about what I have to say. I’m not going to spend my time defending myself to someone who’s arguing in bad faith. I spent years defending the ship, getting hate comments and death threats, and I’m not ever doing that shit again.
If you want to goad me into defending a dumb shonen ship, pay me $50. Until then, fuck off. Go find like-minded people under the “bakugou faces consequences” tag on ao3
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squarebracketsmileyface · 2 months ago
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I don't know how to explain it, but The View Between Villages by Noah Kahan is just making me cry so much because I'm thinking about it from like, the perspective of Tim in the Crossroads fic I have planned for ages in the future. Like, Tim looking at the burned out shell of his old house and just, feeling so many things. He's gone back there one last time before he's moving away for good and he's got Birdie in her baby carrier in the back seat and Tim's just so angry at everything that happened to him. He lost Jay, he killed Alex, he lost Brian and he's just so fucking angry because none of this should have happened and it's all his fault.
All he's got left is Birdie, his baby girl who he constantly feels guilty over because he didn't even know he was pregnant while the final confrontation with Alex happened. He could have lost her too, before he even knew he had her and he's so glad that didn't happen, but he's still ridiculously guilty over the fact that it could have happened. He wasn't careful enough. He explained away any symptoms of pregnancy he might have had, because why wouldn't he?
Mood swings and hormones going crazy? Well he'd been coming off T because he just couldn't fucking get it, like the rest of his meds by the end, and the Operator sickness caused all kinds of crazy emotional swings and stuff like that anyway.
Feeling ill? Very easily caused by the Operator.
Everything could be explained away because god knows he didn't want to be pregnant, he and Jay were nowhere near in the right place to be parents. And they'd been pretty damn careful about using protection and all that so why would he even worry? Sure the thought crossed his mind, but it was just an intrusive thought and he knew how to not let those control him.
But now he's got a one month old in a baby seat in the back of his car and he's looking at the house he could have raised her in, the house he could have raised her in with Jay and he's so fucking angry. There's nothing he can do except hold it together when he goes to meet up with Jessica one last time, to say goodbye to this part of his life one last time before he drives out of the state to the new, tiny apartment he got for himself so he has somewhere he can actually raise his kid.
He lost everything here, and he loves Birdie, he loves his kid, but right now he'd trade anything to have Jay back, to have another chance at all of this, a chance to get through it all with Jay still alive and Brian still alive, and even Alex still alive, including her. Because yes he loves her, she's all he really has left of Jay, but currently the grief is fucking immense and one second he's fine and the next he can barely look at her because got she looks so much like Jay, even as tiny as she is.
He loves her, he adores her, but her being born five months after he lost everyone, lost Jay, just set him so far back in his grief and he didn't have a clue how to cope with it. Sure, he chose to keep her, he made that decision for himself, but that didn't make it any easier when he actually had to go through with it.
He's just so fucking angry. He feels like he'll never stop being angry. He's angry at himself and at Jay and at Brian and at Alex and at Birdie. He's angry at the entire fucking world and he doesn't know how to get that to stop.
So he lies to Jessica when he sees her, tells her Jay moved, wanted to put all of this behind him, and while he lies to her he tries to lie to himself too, to pretend for a moment that it's true, that Jay just left rather than fucking dying. He says goodbye to Jessica and to this part of his life, and he gets on the road. And he comes to that crossroads. He looks in the centre mirror and sees Birdie's baby seat and one of her little hands reaching out of it, trying to grab the sleeve of one of Jay's old jumpers that somehow ended up in Tim's bag, and he just kinda breaks.
It's a good 'breaks' but he still breaks. He decides then and there that he fucking loves this baby of his, he loves her, he adores her, he's in love with having a child, she is everything to him.
He can't bring Jay back, or Brian or Alex, but he can pour all the love he had for them into this baby and he can make sure she has the best life possible. He makes his turn at that crossroad and pulls his car off the road as soon as he can after, getting out and picking her up, bundling her up in Jay's hoodie like he has so many times before and just holding her. He doesn't stop himself from crying, just holds her and rocks her and calls her "My baby, my baby" over and over again, kissing her forehead and just letting himself feel everything he's been trying to hide from for the last six months.
He's gonna give this baby everything. He'd trade his fucking life for hers. She's everything to him and that's fucking terrifying, but he's gonna make it work.
She's gonna have the best childhood he can possibly give her, they're gonna be a family and Tim will look after her because she's the last living part of Jay and she's another living part of Tim, and he has to prove to himself that he can keep her alive and safe and happy.
I don't even know if any of this makes sense I can't really see what I'm trying very well because I'm crying over this stupid fucking series/fic/characters/what the fuck ever. This song is fucking evil and I love it.
Just "It's all washing over me, I'm angry again" is just Tim every time he thinks about Jay and MH and Brian and MH and Alex and MH throughout the rest of his life. He'll never stop getting angry over everything that happened, but he'll stop being angry over it constantly. It'll be something he lets himself feel when he needs to, rather than it just consuming him constantly.
And telling Birdie about it will help him handle it. Telling Birdie about the guy he met in highschool (brian), about the friends he made and lost in and after uni (Alex, jay, Brian, seth, sarah), and the guy who found him again years later, the guy who was Birdie's other dad (Jay). He talks to her about why Jay's not in her life, talks to her about the loss and explains to her that "I'm still sad over it, I'm sad over it a lot, but I have you now and that makes it a lot easier, because I love you so much and if I still had him I don't know if I'd have had you and i could never trade you for him, even if I had the chance"
christ I need to stop writing or I'm gonna fucking dehydrate lol, fucking hell. If I'm crying this much just listening to this song and writing this, god knows how I'll survive writing the actual fic 💀
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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hauntingblue · 9 months ago
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Them doing a photo lineup of the mugis for the battle and when it's Robin's turn she just turns and does a blue eyed stare at the camera 😭😭
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Look at her 😭😭
#i have a question about the heart pirates.... they just look like doctor's assistants... they dont even have weapons and for all we've seen#the only one who maybe can fight is the big guy and he's new... and bepo is the navigator and draws shit maps... how does the crew work.....#well all minks can fight but idk if bepo was trained in zou.... so....#why is sanji's little dance now moving his ass side to side akdhaksk#oh finally!!! shachi and penguin are swordmen and bepo kicks!! we really haven't seen much of them... idr if they did much in sabaody#honestly if law just took his friends for the ride and took care of everything else.... respect#the animation..... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!#there really was no need to bound man now but alas it looks cool#denjiro ITS TIME!!! YEAAAAAAHHH#the wig..... dramatic reveal....#kinemons plan being misunderstood and working becausw of it ajdhajshsj#and what boats did they destroy??? lmaoo??#luffys fit kinda falls apart on his orange jorts... purple and orange okay but red too??? mmm.....maybe red and purple dont match either....#kinemom saying he might die bc he has used up all his life's good luck HAJAHAAJAJ#okay lets finish that last boat but can someone get momo.... please.....#LAW!!! SHAMBLES!!!! GET MOMO!! its so funny how they complain about him not drawing like shit anymore ajdhaks#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 980#sanji can fly come on now....#come on now sanji..... dont let a theatre adult win... well nvm what is that... lmao sanji just taking hits instead of taking nami inside#also the fact that tokis fruit is around now.... who has that power.... or did it go.back in time to appear in her original time???#the orchestral strings version of the first opening as momo flies away..... damn#OMG JINBEEEEE!!!! HE DESTROYS THE SHIP! SERVES CUNT! AND ANNOUNCES HE IS JOINING THE CREW!!! FUCK YEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!#luffy is so happy akdhsksj ME TOO!!!! FINALLY!!!!!#episode 979#<- fucked up.again#luffy loves jinbe so much i really love their relationship!!!!! that's his father now. shanks who
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bobtheacorn · 2 years ago
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If anon is throwing rocks at your window in the middle of the night, I am bringing you baked goods of your choice at a decent hour. Actually it rules that you're proship. Keep up the good work (minding your own business, not being a bully, not falling for reactionary nonsense, thinking for yourself, having common sense, and so on and so forth)
Genuinely, THANK U I appreciate that!! I'm doing my best!! I'm just tryin'a write my silly lil fanfics and vibe and everybody else should be allowed to do the same.
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#asked#i'm trying not to be a DOWNER but my god#I keep accidentally getting into fandoms that seem to have a high BS rate??#there's a tiny niche of ppl minding their own business and then a huge swatch of ppl that are like...........#aggressively yelling abt pretend threats to their Pure and Superior Thoughts on Fictional Characters#i don't know how to tell them that Jesus Christ is not gonna kiss them on the forehead for being hate mongering goblins#im just sayin#he would probably be the first to throw a table into the thick of y'all#like i get it u don't like incest that's valid#if u hate it so much why do you keep bringing it up?????????????????#tcest was literally trending on twitter a while ago bc baby antis were hollering abt it and the Algorithm was like U Want?? Here.#and then they took psychic damage abt it#i had to laugh#i guess i'm built different#nothing desensitizes you to stuff you don't want to see quicker than being 10 years old on the brand new interwebs#and googling your favorite digimon bc u want a cool desktop pic#NO search filters NO tags#just u as a kid fighting for ur life in google images sweeping past pages of weird grown up shit with ur eyes the size of dinner plates#let me just wave my cane and rant for a minute!!!!!!!!!! sorry!!!!!!! lmao#i'm just Old and Tired and I think ppl should be thankful for tumblr and ao3 and their fantastic fucking tagging systems and no algorithm#u can literally block things u dont wanna see#also u can just mind ur own business abt it
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jackienautism · 8 months ago
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am i lowkey having a crisis over that result? maybe
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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago
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#personal rant in tags#(because I NEED to get shit off my chest and I might as well put it here)#I HATE. /HATE/. how much stock we (as a society) put into how people look#I hate that there's bias in EVERYTHING toward people who naturally seem closer to some arbitrary standard of attractiveness#I hate how people are judged by their bodies and literally not anything else#I hate that I'm expected to completely overhaul my appearance and keep doing that day after day after day to be seen as worthy of#respect and support. I hate how many times I've been interested in someone only for people around me to say 'oh but they're not#hot why do you like them?' I hate how the only time someone has ever outright expressed interest in me is when I looked like someone else#I hate how I'm not the only person who has experienced this that I know SO many instances of this#AM I NOT WORTHY OF RESPECT JUST BY VIRTUE OF BEING A HUMAN? ARE WE NOT ALL DESERVING OF LOVE AND SUPPORT BECAUSE WE ARE ALIVE???#GENUINELY I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. YOUR OUTWARD APPEARANCE HAS /NOTHING/ TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON#IT DOESN'T INDICATE ANYTHING ABOUT HOW KIND OR UNDERSTANDING YOU ARE. WHAT YOUR INTERESTS ARE. WHAT YOU VALUE. HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME.#like...obviously I'm not perfect and I've still gotta de-internalize some stuff too!#but sometimes it feels like everyone is just so SHALLOW and JESUS fucking CHRIST am I /TIRED/#I have never been '''pretty''' I will never BE '''pretty''' WHY DOES THAT BOTHER PEOPLE SO MUCH???!!#like genuinely just. it's one of the (many) things that has driven a wedge between me and my mom. it's made dating almost impossible.#it made a career in stage acting so much harder than it already was. truly it has put me at some sort of disconnect with a lot of humanity#AND I'M SORRY BUT THAT IS SO FUCKING /STUPID/ IT SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS WHY AM I BEING JUDGED ON THESE GROUNDS#*sigh* this was another reason why letting go of Her™ was so hard tbh. she didn't care what anyone looked like not even me#she made me feel beautiful because she genuinely liked who I was as a person. the one time I had this and look where we ended up lmao#...god this not-relationship really fucked me up didn't it sometimes I forget how much everything hurt me and how far back I set myself#because of it#ANYWAY we're probably not gonna sleep tonight :)#In the Vents
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saerotonins · 11 months ago
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actor!yuuji & actor!sukuna headcanons
ft. itadori yuuji and ryomen sukuna 
content warnings: fluff, itadori twins au, overall cuteness, implied x reader (separated), jjk manga spoilers, characters are aged up to 20+
wc: 2.3k (jesus christ lol)
note: i miss my little actors so much lol. also, i think this is a bit too long, my bad 😭
jjk actor au masterlist
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as twin actors:
believe it or not, jjk is like one of the roles that had them cast together 
both of them usually like to play different roles in different shows because they just don't want to be known as each other's twins
love that for them, they're so real for that
but when they were cast, they accepted it since the script and plot were interesting 
yuuji is a sweetheart inside out and sukuna is the quieter one between the two, sukuna is soft for his brother though so don't get fooled by his tough persona
yes, he is the older twin LOL and always holds it against yuuji just to be petty
"dude can you get me that can of soda?""why are you ordering your older brother around? have some shame"
yuuji just rolls his eyes but before he gets up and get it himself, sukuna will wordlessly stands up and does it anyway
checks on yuuji whenever he does intense fight scenes
both of them do the stunt themselves since they ate both so physically active
education wise, yuuji graduated as a marketing major and sukuna has a degree in physical therapy 
which explains why him and his brother always practice fight scenes together and he helps yuuji with his stance and warm ups!
it's adorable really and he's so tsundere about it too
"no not like that, put your legs this way dumbass" like that typa stuff
sukuna started off as a model but was later on casted because casting agencies thought he has that great villain face
yuuji started off as a side character and really likes acting (he is the theatre kid between the two and sukuna is the quiz bee kid, their mom is BOOKED and busy) and later on recognized because he's just THAT good
yuuji is usually a romance lead or 2nd lead and a slice-of-life guy so when fans found out he will be in an action show, they are excited!
sukuna on the other hand has been casted as a tsundere in romance shows, sometimes a bully and an antagonist in action shows, but a villain that is literally so powerful??? that is so new so his fans are anticipating 
both of them usually arrive on the set together (sukuna is the one driving btw and yuuji just sleeps during the trip)
yuuji prepares both of their bento boxes btw
sukuna loves it
he can cook, but that's it LMAO
he won't admit it but yuuji is the better cook
lowkey a picky eater so yeah
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ACTOR!SUKUNA HEADCANONS:
sukuna is the intimidating one (obv) so when him and the other casts first met + the first few readings, it was sooo awkward 
turns out he's lowkey a goofy guy
has fun with his costars and helps them with fight scenes too, gotta put that physical therapy degree into good use
both him and nanami have this silent bond because whenever they're together they just don't talk and bask in the silence as they sit, they just peace amidst their crazy schedule
also an avid toji fan so when this guy found out he's in the same show with his idol he's almost shitting bricks
let out a really loud cheer when he found out and only yuuji knew about it LOL
has a deep-rooted respect towards him and it's sooo obvious whenever toji is around
he is such a fucking fangirl
he just thinks he's so badass and feels so honored to be casted in the same show as him
feels bad that he has to beat up almost everyone 😭 he is also a sweetheart deep inside
deep inside, he's such a caring and protective brother for yuuji because even though he doesn't have any scenes to be filmed, he still joins him on set whenever time allows him
he may not show it but he's sometimes lowkey terrified about fans tearing him up into shreds whenever he kills their favorite character 
imagine sukuna dripping big sweats by the time THAT episode with [redacted] aired oh my GOD he was so fucking nervous considering their fanbase is so big
yuuji has never seen his brother THIS nervous before and he's enjoying it
luckily though, not much hate happened and most of the time it's just memes and playful banter
his ass is barely on social media LOL
in the years of his instagram existing he only has like 90+ posts or even below 😭 usually it's just promotion, being an ambassador, magazine shoots— very lowkey 
doesn't have much digital footprint and i love that for him
whenever he posts, his fans are EATING IT UP since it happens every once in a blue moon lmfao
ACTOR!SUKUNA AS YOUR PARTNER:
as tough as he looks, he actually can be quite clingy, just behind closed doors though
lowkey feels bad when he has to beat up children (LMAO) and his co-actors and asks for cuddles from you for comfort
it's actually kind of adorable 
sometimes if his schedule doesn't allow him to have time to visit you, you'll get messages like "babe i just beat up megumi :(" 
since he's not active on social media, he knows some stuff online through you or yuuji
kind of a sad reason why he doesn't go online as much is because as tough as he looks, he's just a guy scared of the hate he's going to have just because he plays a villain or antagonist most of the time
he knows it's not his fault, he just knows that some people just don't know how to separate reality from acting
especially when that scene where he had to off a certain jujutsu sorcerer actor with a huge fanbase
oh boy was he so fucking scared and ran into your arms for comfort :(
he's a softie deep inside ok
when they have to go out of town or even overseas to film, he gets incredibly homesick and misses you so much 
expect a lot of "i miss you" messages, including selfies and candid pictures that he took around the set to
practicing his lines with you is close to impossible, this guy gets all blushy and shit because you're in front of him
and since most of his lines are mean as hell, he just doesn't want to be mean to you
he wants to impress you so bad but when you're around he just becomes a little high school boy with a big crush LMAO
he's such a sweetheart deep inside oh my god
when he decides he wants to post a new photo in his ig, you're the first and only person he'll ask for opinions
so this just means that most, if not all of his posts were handpicked by you
wears your matching stuff like accessories on set and gets sad when he has to take it off while filming
when he learned that his character would have face tattoos, the first thing he did was come home to you with his face makeup on (he had to ask his makeup artist to let it stay) and imitate it on your face
i have this headcanon that sukuna knows how to draw (and is very good at it) so it takes almost no effort to draw the tattoos on your face
you two then have a mini photoshoot (aka just taking a lot of selfies) with the both of you with sukuna marks on the face
it looks so cute that he made it his lock screen
he's lowkey such a sap don't let the character he's playing fool you
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ACTOR!YUUJI HEADCANONS:
THE MAN THE MYTH THE BABY
he is literally a sunshine in or out of acting
so polite and so kind it's hard to hate him (not that he is even worth hating on)
so naturally, everyone on set loves to work with him!
unlike his brother, before acting, he doesn't really know a lot of fighting stance (he's a marketing major ffs lol) BUT ever since he was casted, he doubled up on his working out routine with the help of sukuna
even invested his time learning boxing which later on paid soooo much
can literally make everyone on set "aww" whenever his script requires him so cry or even witness a gruesome death scene *cough* nanami and nobara *cough*
during breaks, him and nobara do tiktok challenges and even those kpop challenges all the time and the crew enjoys watching them do it and the fans like it too
he does it too with choso and todo
this guy literally has 3 older brothers who are protective of him it's so cute
this man is so talented, he can cook, sing, dance, act, and is pretty smart too during his university days, it's so hard not to be in love with him
the greenest of the green flags (just like nanamin!) the girls the guys the folks LOVE him so much, literally the standard 
just like sukuna, he was fangirling so hard when he found out he's going to be in the same drama with THE nanami kento
he's such a big big BIG fan 
has a fan account of him on twitter that is pretty popular but you didn't hear that from me
it's so cute when they're together because they're literally THE father and son duo EVER
has the time of his life whenever he visits nanami and his wife's house and just chill there, sometimes brings his first-year trio besties too (both nanami and his wife don't mind at all)
aside from sukuna, he sometimes practices fight scenes with nanami too!
he is so active on social media 😭 interacts with as many fans as he can and posts all the time on ig and twitter 
has a lot of cute interactions with fans too
by extension, his account is sukuna's behind the scene account LOL
since his brother doesn't post a lot, sukuna's fans tune in to his posts and stories of sukuna behind the scenes or even just some pictures of him that he doesn't post
some of it are just pics of the brothers chilling or going out
yuuji is literally the sukuna fan's saint because of the amount of sukuna content he's giving them LOL
ok but don't get fooled by yuuji's sunshine personality, because he knows how to bite too
whenever he saw hate tweets his brother is getting for playing a villain, he is quick to respond and defend his brother
lowkey a nightmare for the PR team but they know where he's coming from
and despite sukuna telling him to just ignore it, he appreciates his little brother more than anything 
ACTOR!YUUJI AS YOUR PARTNER:
one word: ANGEL
he's literally so lover coded oh my goodness
leaves you some post-it notes on the fridge every single day before he leaves to film
if the trip goes on for days he will leave at least three long love letters for you to read when you miss him and he's busy
creates personal vlogs JUST FOR YOU so if the both of you can't facetime, you'll still know what he is up to
when he was contacted to be the main character of the show, he confided in you whether or not he should accept the offer
don't get him wrong, he is beyond grateful the people think he's capable enough to be the main lead but it makes him nervous 
this is his first main character role and the pressure of it all is heavy on his shoulders 
he asked for his brother's opinion too but he trusts you enough to talk about his feelings regarding this
of course, when you said that you'll be there with him in every step and support him all the time and do everything to keep the communication between the two of you going despite his soon-to-be hectic schedule, his heart is finally set on accepting the role
you are so proud of him! your baby finally getting the recognition he deserves? hell yeah
his busy schedule was never a barrier between the two of you, yuuji never forgets to update and call you whenever his time permits and he always appreciates every cheer you have given him
type of actor boyfie to show you off his social media platform!
he posts your dates and even hangouts with each other
his fans find it quite adorable and is in love with your whole relationship 
likes to do those couple tiktok challenges with you and post them online, you guys even have shippers lol
of course, if you're the lowkey type, yuuji would respect that and will only include you in his online shenanigans when you feel like it or allow him to post it
practicing lines with you is always exciting but never productive LOL
you both just end up giggling and laughing 
in the end you just both opt to cuddle instead (or even make our LMFAO)
yuuji just feels so lucky to have his ever-supporting partner along the way
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mgu-h · 14 days ago
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jesus christ i forgot just how unreal the 2020 abu dhabi unboxed is in terms of carlando, like there's so much of them speaking with a warmth and depth of emotion impossible to communicate in gif format, from guacamole to race prep to that goddamn helmet exchange
catching the end of carlos telling a story to his engineers "the best bit was when lando asked me 'why didn't you do it?' and i said 'i forgot' and he was like [shrugs]" and everyone giggles. what did he forget? who knows (edit: anon knew)
the entire 53 second uncut "guacamole" conversation. lando saying it wrong on purpose, over and over. teasing carlos about how he says mariah carey. carlos's increasingly exasperated "NO"
carlos having the picture with lando and the team after his first podium on the back of his helmet
carlos giving his very lovely speech on race day about how positive his time was at mclaren, how he felt "loved" and how much he hopes to fight with them for wins in the future, cut to the team applauding, lando leaning against the wall, clapping too, his eyes down
the whole "carlota" message lando wrote on carlos's sidepod, signing it "from your best teammate you'll ever have," and the impossible warmth with which carlos reads that out
a really inexplicable bit where carlos crowds lando and pokes him in the stomach repeatedly asking him about the start and then watches him talk with the warmest possible expression
lando coming up to tell carlos he needs to sign his helmet, carlos leaning into his personal space with a coy "do i?" and lando confirming "right on the front." carlos asks "on the visor?" and lando agrees and they both giggle
carlos looking lando up and down, noticing he got changed, asking him if he would need to get changed again, lando shrugging "yeah" and carlos mumbling something that sounds a bit like "inefficient" lmao
carlos in interview saying "i've already told lando everything i wanted to tell him before the race" and when the reporter asks for more, carlos replying "it's private, you know, we have a relationship that we need to keep private [laughs]" and then refocuses and talks about their great partnership, cutting to lando talking about carlos being a mentor
carlos taking off his race suit after the race and looking at lando with heart eyes and a sweet smile
lando being just a little bit awkward and standoffish with daniel afterward, weird energy anyway
the fucking helmet exchange??? the most wedding coded parting ritual i've seen. facing each other and reading each other their messages. both calling each other muppet. carlos trying to shove it onto lando's head. lando keeping it there. lando pretending to cry to maybe cover for the fact he is actually tearing up. carlos wiping his eyes for maybe the same reason. "take it home, baby(?)"
i'm fine
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zombvic · 6 months ago
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TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)
summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger
face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)
notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️
pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader
warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)
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You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.
The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).
Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.
"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.
"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"
"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"
"Hello, I'm Logan-"
"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.
"One chance please"
"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"
"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"
"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"
"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"
"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"
Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.
"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"
"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."
"Lmao, yes go on"
“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”
"Jesus Christ. No, get out"
"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"
"Lmao. I love that, Yes"
"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"
"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"
"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"
"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)
"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"
"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.
"I'd like to sniff them both."
The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"
"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"
WHY DID YOU SAY NO?
(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)
"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"
YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁
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houseofripley · 9 months ago
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HEYY
Can you do a rhea x fem!reader story where rhea and reader are in Highschool and have both had feeling for eachother for the longest time and both haven’t confessed but all that changes because rhea ask reader to prom and they end up kissing and it leads to something else (ifykyk😏) (smut n a lil bit of fluff too🙏)
Starry Prom Night
Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader
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WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT, Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Scissoring, Praise, Cheek Cupping & Kissing Galore, INSANE PLOT BUILDING FOR NO REASON LOL SORRYYYYYY IM A YEARNER (im serious this is like 67% plot building)
WORD COUNT: 3,731
A/N: this is just pure sapphic yearning on my end LMAO anyways anon i had so much fun writing this even though its all over the place!!!
also can you tell where i got impatient with all the plot building lol
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“Rhea, I seriously don’t know how many more of these cheesy signs I can’t take. I think I’m gonna go insane.” You grunted, rolling your eyes to the back of your head. 
Prom season was in full swing. It was third period and you had just witnessed what had to have been the seventh promposal of the day. This year would be the mark of your and your best friend, Rhea’s senior prom. Senior prom was a date thousands of dreamed about, wanting to show up and show out one last time before waving goodbye to their highschool years. 
Every girl except you and Rhea. You both despised the thought of prom. Why would any sane person spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit just to spend their night drenched in sweat in the school gymnasium? 
Fuck that!
“Romeo O Romeo! Will thou spend your Saturday night with I, drinking punch next to the locker rooms?” Rhea mocked, elbowing your arm. 
You shook your head, pressing your lips together trying to keep your laughter silent. The commotion of classmates was soon drowned out by thoughts as your eyes met Rhea’s, causing your tightened lips to curl into a small smile.
Rhea’s blue eyes never failed to warm you. Everytime you gazed into those beachy eyes you were brought back to the day you first met the girl. Seventh grade, first period, language arts. A quiet blonde girl sporting a Pierce The Veil shirt was assigned to sit next to you. Nobody knew anything about the girl besides the fact she had just moved basically across the globe. You spent the entire period thinking of what you could possibly say to her, because what do you even say to a kid that was just relocated from South Australia all the way to some shitty suburban town? 
“Cool shirt.” 
And it fucking worked somehow. You were immediately attached to her hip. The two of you grew closer with each day that passed. You were inseparable. She was everything to you. Sleepovers every weekend. ‘Study’ sessions that were spent play fighting with each other. Singing pop-punk songs at the top of your lungs till your throats were raw. Dying your hair the same shade of blue at three in the morning. She was even at your side while your parents scolded you the morning after for said blue hair. 
Jesus Christ. Lost in her eyes again? Snap out of it already! 
“Yo, Alice in Wonderland, you okay?” Rhea playfully questioned, breaking your trance by poking at your thigh.
“Just…thinking. That’s all.” You softly chuckled. You were telling the truth, you were just thinking. Just thinking about her. Thinking about her touch, her hands, her pierced nose, her lips, her stupid cool shirts. 
���═════⋆☆⋆══════
“Jesus, someone’s eager to get out of here.” You laughed, trailing behind Rhea who was booking it over to her small black Lexus.
“Dude, can you blame me? It’s like everyone has some sort of prom fever. I am not letting it catch me.” Rhea complained, ducking into the vehicle. 
You made your way to the passenger side of the car before hopping into the seat next to Rhea. “I counted eighteen of those damn signs today.” You babbled, resting your arm on the center console before trailing on, diffusing the topic, “Anyways, let’s go thrifting or something. I don’t wanna go home.”
Rhea shrugged in agreeance before pulling out of her parking spot. She knew things were tough for you at home. You had recently come out as lesbian to your parents. They weren't unsupportive but they weren't exactly supportive at the same time which had built quite a bit of tension in the household. You came out to Rhea just about two years ago, who was more than supportive. She was your number one defender, always there to threaten whichever classmate that dared to ridicule you.
You knew absolutely nothing about Rhea’s sexuality. Hell, even Rhea knew nothing about her sexuality. She only knew one thing, that she liked you. She didn’t even know when she caught feelings for you, it was like the sentiments were there since the moment you first spoke to her. She hoped as time went on the flutters she’d feel for you would pass on but recently she couldn’t seem to even push the mere thought of you out of her head, it was killing her.
The drive to the nearest thrift shop was comfortably silent…silent if you ignored the Black Veil Brides cd Rhea had blaring…
Entering the store the pair of you let out scoffed laughs as the first thing catching your attention was a large display of second hand dresses. Shaking it out of your heads and ignoring it at first you carried on to wander the isles, grabbing whatever caught your eye to try on later although you’d inevitably end back up to the racks of long dresses. You weren't a big fan of dresses but you wanted to waste as much time as you possibly could, so you decided to browse the gowns with Rhea. 
She pulled a deep maroon dress, the form fitting glittered bodice was paired with a looser, more freeing skirt. “Try it on!” Rhea pushed, shoving the dress into your arms.
“I’d look so stupid in this.” You gave Rhea a bewildered look.
“Oh c’mon just try it!”
“Rhe’ when have you ever given a shit about this stuff?”
“Dude you’re the one that wanted to waste time here…” Rhea playfully scorned, diverting your question.
“Urgh, I hate when you’re right.” You huffed, shuffling towards the dressing room. 
“How ridiculous do I look?” You pouted, opening the door of the changing room before shuffling to the closest mirror.
Rhea stood behind you, peering over your shoulder as you silently studied yourself in the mirror. You looked at Rhea through the mirror as she opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself in her tracks. “I mean it’s cute but where in the world would I wear this?” You shrugged, adjusting the straps as Rhea chewed on her cheeks.
“Wear it to prom.” Rhea timidly broke her silence.
“Why would I go to prom, Rhe’? First of all it would be so lame and second of all I’d have nobody to go with. I’m just gonna put this back.” You mumbled, turning to make your way back into the changing room.
 A hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “Go with me…” Rhea blurted out, sounding scared of her own words. Her statement caused you to turn to face her with a puzzled expression, Rhea herself even looked surprised at what she just said. Fearing your rejection she quickly added on, “Ya know, like as a joke and stuff. We can make it not lame…”
“As a joke?” Your heart that was skipping beats just seconds ago was immediately let down. 
“Yeah. It’s just a stupid idea we don’t hav-”
“No, let's go…as a joke.” You interrupted Rhea’s nervous deflection. “We’ve got nothing better to do.” You shrugged on watching Rhea’s anxieties fade into the distance as her classic cheeky smile crept upon her face.
After you swapped out of your dress you returned to Rhea who was holding up a silky black dress with a deep slit in the skirt. “This’ll work. I’m too lazy to try anything on.” She chuckled while shrugging.
“That's ballsy Rhe-Rhe.”
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Tonight was the night, you were sat atop Rhea’s bathroom counter, finishing up your makeup while Rhea was shuffling around her closet searching for a pair of shoes. It had been four weeks since Rhea ‘asked’ you to prom and you simply couldn’t keep your mind off it. Although you two planned this whole thing as a joke, something shifted ever so slightly between the two of you, maybe it wasn’t a joke, who knows. Rhea had your heart in your throat at every moment and you were the topic of every thought that popped into Rhea’s head. More than ever the both of you were head over heels for each other, just terrified the other wouldn’t reciprocate those shared feelings.
Your parents were completely unaware you’d be attending prom. You had informed them you were staying with a friend before immediately storming off to Rhea’s house. Rhea’s parents hadn’t a clue either, they were under the impression tonight would be just another night of the two of you doing nothing for hours then sneaking out to go for a drive at three in the morning. There truly wasn’t much reasoning behind this secret, you guys just wanted to have this night for yourselves without pestering parents. 
“Urgh! At this point I’m gonna go barefoot!” You could hear yet another pair of shoes be tossed to the floor. You slid off Rhea’s counter, stepped out of her bathroom and over to her closet. She was already in her dress tearing through a pile of shoes on the floor. “What has gotten into you Rhe’?” You leaned against the doorframe laughing at the fact that Rhea of all people was stressing over shoes. 
 Rhea rolled her eyes ignoring your banter. “Would it make me a hipster if I wore converse?”
“Oh absolutely, I dare you!” 
“You know I will,” Rhea retorted, picking up a black pair of the canvas shoes.
You chuckled before turning to return to the bathroom, letting Rhea know you were gonna change. You got into your dress with ease up until you came to the zipper on the back. You groaned in annoyance, reaching behind to your back attempting to wiggle the zipper to no avail.
“Rhe’, can you help me real quick?” You asked while popping your head out the door.
“Hm? What’s up?” Rhea turned around and questioned before making her way up to you, trying to keep her gaze from falling down to the hand placed on your chest, keeping the dress from completely slipping from your body.
“Zippers stuck,” You pouted, turning around. Rhea’s hand swept across the base of your neck, sweeping your hair to the side. You watched her through the mirror as she began fumbling with the metal, ultimately getting it to slide up your back.
After an awkward exchange of bashful looks the two of you finished getting ready in each other's company. You sat next to Rhea slipping into your shoes while she tied off her converse, took a handful of polaroid pictures together, then eventually snuck out Rhea’s window to begin your hike to the school.
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“Ouu! Ripley’s got a date!” Was whistled out by a classmate as you and Rhea made your way down the congested hallway, making Rhes roll her eyes.
“Shut up dickhead! We’re here as a joke.” Rhea rebutted, flipping the guy off as she carried on down the hall. 
Here as a joke but her flushed cheeks and sweaty hand gripping yours told a slightly different story.
“Dickheads always running their mo-” Rhea muttered, stepping into the crowded gymnasium.
“Shh. It’s fine, you shouldn’t worry about them.” You cut off Rhea, giving her hand a squeeze as you examined the starry night themed room. The area was dimly lit by blue leds and strings of fairy lights. Blue curtains decorated with paper stars draped over the majority of the walls while an array of tables adorned with bottles of fairy lights surrounded a dance floor full of teenagers.
You both seated yourselves near the stage where a live band was playing. Your legs pressed against one another as you fell into an array of conversations. Thirty minutes had managed to sneak by before your meaningless conversation was cut short by your biology teacher.
“You girls gonna sit here and chat all night? Go dance!” 
“But dancing is lame, Mr. Brown.” Rhea groaned while you both turned to face the man.
“I promise you that in ten years you’ll regret not doing anything at your senior prom. Seriously, go dance!” Your teacher stood behind you giving his words of advice. Rhea peeked over to you looking for your opinion. You gave her a ‘why not’ shrug before rising from your seat.
“But I don't even know how to slow dance.” Rhea whined to herself under her breath as she stood up. “If we have to dance, we’re dancing in the corner cause I’m gonna look stupid.” She stipulated.
You guided Rhea over to a secluded section of the dance floor near a wall, reassuring her that you also had no clue on what you were doing. 
“We’ll just do what everyone else is doing, Rhe’.” 
“I think this right,” Rhea unassuredly giggled with a racing heart, taking a hold of your left hand while wrapping her free hand around your waist. You shook your hair to cover your flushing cheeks as you brought your right hand to rest on her shoulder. The pair of you began swaying to the music while trying to hold back laughter, both in slight disbelief at your current situation. Prom was the last place either of you ever expected to be attending.
You were already trailing back into the pit of those sapphire eyes, drowning out all external noise you missed Rhea humming about how beautiful you looked. You were too occupied taking in the essence of your childlike crush to take notice of the grip Rhea had on your waist tightening. You were fully prepared to stare into those eyes all night, but Rhea was eager to run a risk.
A set of warm lips fell onto you abruptly, pulling you by the waist into a desperate kiss. All five senses rushed over your body, sending a rush of adrenaline through your bloodstream, placing you in awe too shocked to move.
Rhea forced herself to pull away, letting a sigh of relief out before the panic settled in, “Shit. I, god I’m so-”
Your thoughts had just now grasped what just happened.
This was a kiss that spent years in the making…you were not just gonna let it end like that.
Your hand slipped to the back of Rhea’s head, pushing Rhea back into the kiss, forcibly putting an end to her apology. She immediately fell back into your lips, closing her dilated eyes. While her tongue slid across your bottom lip begging to deepen the kiss, her hands slid up to cup your cheeks. Time slid away as the two of you fell into each other in your isolated corner of the gymnasium.
Rhea pulled herself from your lips breathless, her parted lips forming an open smile. She wanted more. You attempted to collect your thoughts while catching your breath. Both of you were attempting to draft a response while gazing into each other, because what do you say after tasting your best friend of five years?
“Cool.” You nodded
Rhea shook her head scoffing out a laugh, still making an attempt to regulate her breath. She took grip of your hand, giving it a squeeze before beginning to pull you into the hall without speaking a word.
“Wher-”
“Just follow me!” Rhea cut you off, rushing through the halls as she dragged you behind herself, both of you trying not to stumble over your dresses. 
She halted in front of the nurses office before fiddling with the keypad on the door, “God bless modern technology,” She muttered, managing to get the door open as you watched in disbelief. “Don’t even ask.” She chuckled, scanning the hall to make sure you were in the clear before tugging you into the room.
Once Rhea’s foot forced the door shut her lips directly got to work pinning themselves to your neck, nipping at the delicate skin. 
“Shit Rhe’, there might be cameras.” You pushed through a stunned whine. 
“There's none…” Rhea couldn't even pull her lips away from your skin as she spoke, “Wouldn't stop me either way, I’ve waited too long for this.” She grunted, dragging her kisses to your collarbone. “Now please tell me I can keep going.”
“I don’t think I could ever tell you to stop.” You pulled Rhea’s face to meet your eyes, whispering your confession. There was no need for Rhea to open her mouth, the look on her face alone told you that was exactly what she needed to hear.
“You have no fucking clue how long I’ve waited for this.” Rhea growled, grasping your cheeks as she pulled you over to the nurses twin sized treatment bed. 
She brought her legs to straddle over you, lowering her chest to hover over you. Rhea was attached to you like a dog, her lips were sloppy against yours as her hands snuck to pull up the skirt of your dress. 
Rhea brought herself between your legs, in a rush to finally get a taste of your core.
“Please…I’m begging you, please don't make me wait more than I already have.” Rhea looked up at you pleading.
Your heart was in your throat as you fervently nodded. “I wanna hear your voice,” Rhea begged, whispering out your name.
“Rhea, please just do anything, I need, I need you.”
With that said she hurriedly slid your panties down your legs, tossing them to the foot of the bed. Rhea was making it clear that tonight was her time to shine.
“Fuck, you’re perfect…” Rhea murmured, awed at the sight of your soaked cunt. Her arms tangled themselves around your legs. After years her tongue finally made contact with your delicacy, she preached a string of curses, finally getting what she was after. You propped yourself on your elbows to catch the sight of Rhea exploring your brand new world. You could feel a smirk between your legs as her eyes met yours, thirstily watching you watch.
“Tastes so good.” Rhea praised, sweeping her tongue through your folds before bringing herself to round your clit. You chewed on your cheeks to hush the moans escaping your throat as Rhea wrapped her lips around your sensitivity, allowing her to lightly suck at your skin. Your legs made an unsuccessful attempt at wrapping around Rhea’s head only to be overtaken by her hands, prying them open, giving her full access to devour your aching heat. 
The stealthy addition of two fingers into your emptiness was only amplifying the wobbly knees her mouth alone had created. Her fingers began steadily massaging into you, causing an arch to form over your back. The mixture of Rhea’s roaming tongue and grinding digits already had a knot forming in your stomach.
“Fucking Christ Rhe’, where the fuck did you learn all this.” You struggled out through moans. Rhea let out a soft chuckle as she continued to take your clit into her mouth, rolling her tongue piercing over your sensitivity.
Rhea gave your cunt one last kiss before she brought herself to face you. Now that Rhea had finally gotten a taste of your mouth she couldn't get enough, she had to return for more. Your lips once again blended together, your moans now slipping into Rhea’s mouth as her fingers curled inside your core. 
“God, you sound so beautiful.” Rhea admired, pressing her warmed forehead against yours while her digits continued toying with your clenching walls. Her thumb was soon added to the mixture of pleasure as it rubbed rhythmic circles over your bud. 
“Rhe’, I want to feel you against me,” You opened your eyes, pulling from her kiss while your hips rolled against her working digits. “Please.”
Rhea nodded, her eyes full of adoration, she’d do whatever it took to please you no matter if it took minutes or hours. She let her fingers come to a declined pace before withdrawing from your warmth. She stood up, licking her fingers clean before riding her dress up her legs and dropping her panties. She rushed to return to the bed pulling your leg into the air before propping a leg of hers next to your hip.
Rhea settled her heat against yours, letting out a heavy breath. She gradually started rocking her hips against you, mixing your slick together. You watched as the new sensation of pleasure washed over her, causing her jaw to drop open and her eyes to roll to the back of her head. 
“Just…just like that.” You whimpered as you began to grind your hips at a matching pace, chasing towards your climax. Rhea’s arm clung to your leg that was situated in the air for support as the sound of quiet moans and the rustling of dress fabric bounced around the room. 
“Feels so good, fuck.” Rhea quickened her motions, moaning out the nickname she created for you through heavy breaths.Rhea pushed herself further against you chasing her own high as you squirmed beneath her grinds. 
“Rhe’, I’m gonna cum.” You whined out, reaching for a hand to cling to. Her hand met you halfway, instantly taking you into her grip she pulled you up to meet her face. She was back to those oh-so passionate kisses she could now never get enough of. “Please, Rhe’!” You cried against her, her movements bucking against your cunt.
Rhea nodded into your kiss signaling for your release, her own climax just seconds away. Your series of moans brushed against Rhea’s lips as your orgasm washed over you, hers quickly following. Muffled whines echoed around the room as Rhea’s thrusts against you faltered.
After riding out your highs together, Rhea squeezed herself next to you on the tiny bed and rested her hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. “I swear to god if you say cool.” Rhea looked over at you giggling. 
“Unfair!” You joked, resting your head against Rhea’s chest. You both fell into silence simply taking in the moment, reflecting on everything that had just happened. Rhea peppered small kisses to the top of your head as you toyed with the fabric of her dress.
“We should probably get outta here before somebody finds us.” Rhea suggested, breaking the silence.
“Wanna go dance again?” You teased as you turned to face her.
Rhea quickly shook her head, “I’m never gonna dance again. I was so bad.” She laughed, “How about we go find a parking lot and makeout under the stars, hm?”
“I seriously would have never expected you to be all smoochy, Rhe’.”
“Look, I have like five years of kisses to make up for!”
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ajdrawshq · 5 months ago
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did the gods just fucking die.
oct2path has become real.........
#ive heard of vide so its neat to see that name so early on#WHY AM I AELFRIC NOW ??????????#ok hold on actually . 8 gods. presumably the main 8 that cover the octojobs#where were the other 4 during this . and galdera ???#is vide another name for galdera or are these absolutely different guys here#. that is NOT what i imagined vide to sound like#wonderful framing here btw#IM FIGHTING AS AELFRIC ?#GOD SKILLSXBJSJKD#this is such a fun way to show this omg#theyre doing so much to make this world feel even more lively than the first game..#oh its crick :]#temenos is so fucking funny he sees a guy abt to grab him and just . 'oh?'#LMAO?#yeah i see why everyone went wild over this guy when the game first came out hes great#he said the thing !#i adore the animation for his cloak when he moves#HE SAID THE OTHER THING. I FORGOT HE CALLS HIM THAT . happy pride#XJVSJXS HOLY SHIT THEY TALK WHEN U SUMMON#obsessed w this game . oh my god#crick what the fuck was that attack. jesus christ#NOOO THEY REPLACED THE REFLECT SKILL WITH A SHIELD SKILL.....#but also the fact that they took sp steal from the thief job and gave it to the fuckin CLERIC is like. really funny. so its fine#CANOE !!!!!!#'may the sacred flame guide you ... or something like that...' yea. me too man#the fact that characters can make quips at each other during battle now makes me so so so happy#this is how coerce works ?????? what the hell is he doing .#i love how its implied to be a battle of the mind in some way but temenos still gets actual damage irl. me trying to have conversations#octotag#octopath traveler 2 spoilers
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buckymorelikefuckme · 8 months ago
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a helping hand
jake jensen x fem reader
words: 3.7k
warnings: **18+ ONLY** friends to lovers, handjob, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex (don't do that), jake has a big dick, my lame attempts at humor. please let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: SURPRISE!! this is honestly so silly. and filthy. i wrote it in a frenzy last night after the idea randomly came to me. keep in mind it's all based off the vague info i have about him. i probably took a lot of liberties. it wasn't planned for my first jakey fic to be this, but oh well lmao! any and all mistakes are my own. feedback is encouraged and greatly appreciated :) xo
❀ part two
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With an exaggerated, put-upon sigh, you gesture vaguely at Jake to stand and say, “Alright, let me see it.”
“What?” Jake asks, brows furrowed so deeply you worry he’ll get a migraine.
“You’re being awfully dramatic about this, so I need to see what all the fuss is about,” you calmly explain, though still skeptical.
Jake had showed up at your apartment with a look of pure despair, ranting about how yet another hookup went south when they took their clothes off and his would-be partner saw his cock for the first time. Said they almost begged him to leave and take his monster with him.
Surely his dick can’t be that big, right?
Jake hesitates, watching you warily as he contemplates, but then he sighs heavily and he rises to his feet, grumbling as he unbuttons and lowers the zip on his jeans. His thumbs curl under the waistband of both the jeans and his underwear before he unceremoniously shoves them down to mid-thigh. And then there’s only silence that follows.
You blink. You stare. You blink again.
Jake shifts his weight on his feet, settling his hands on his hips awkwardly.
Finally, you find your voice.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” you wheeze, your voice tight and airy as you struggle to remember how to inhale.
Jake groans, covering his face mournfully. “I told you!” he wails. “It’s too big! And I know, I know—boohoo woe is me I have a big dick—but listen, this is literally a big fucking problem. I’m going crazy here. It’s just not the same with only my hands!”
Probably because not even both of your hands can cover your gigantic fucking penis, you think to yourself, but thankfully, do not say aloud. And, alright, maybe you’re exaggerating just a little, but Jake is still easily the biggest you’ve ever seen. Like, leaps and bounds bigger. The length of it isn't overly scary or anything, it's just… thick, and veiny, has the slightest curve to it.
And the thing is, you really shouldn’t be so surprised. In general, Jake himself is… big. He’s tall, and broad, and his hands are works of fucking art with his long fingers and wide palms, and his thighs—Jesus, fuck, his thighs. They deserve sonnets alone, just for how sculpted and muscled they are. Even Jake’s pecs are big. And you’re normally not a tit person, but Jake’s? You’ve cupped and squeezed and fondled them probably too many times to be appropriate.
The point is, though, that Jake is fucking hot. You have always thought so, in an offhand kind of way, like, a passing observation. Jake is also sweet and attentive, always periodically checking in on each person in his friend group, always willing to offer advice or a listening ear. He’s incredibly smart while also endearingly dumb about so much. He never asks for help with anything because he doesn’t want to be a burden, no matter how many times he’s told he could never be. So you’re pretty sure that Jake has used up all of his courage and vulnerability by coming to you with his problem. And you are flummoxed as to why he chose you, but you will not let this opportunity pass you by.
“Jake,” you start after a slight pause, “I have lube, patience, and willpower.”
And Jake says, “Huh?”
Which is fair, to be honest.
“Can you, um, put your dick away so I can think properly?” you ask after delicately clearing your throat.
Jake flushes and hastily obeys before taking his spot on the couch again.
You shift to face him fully, taking in his pink cheeks and inability to meet your gaze, and you feel bad for being so blunt, for speaking before thinking.
“Sorry,” you apologize, “I just wasn't… You know.” You wave your hand around in a way that you hope says, I wasn't expecting you to have the most perfect cock I've ever seen, when your mind blanks on how to continue.
Then again, maybe it's a good thing you couldn't figure out a way to say that verbally.
You clear your throat again. “What I was trying to say is that, um, maybe I could help you?”
Jake tilts his head. “Help me?” he repeats.
“Yeah, you know, like,” you say, licking your lips, “I could lend a hand. So to speak.”
It only takes a split second for him to understand what you're saying. His eyes widen, round like saucers behind his glasses, ears now burning a bright red as he sputters.
“What? You're offering to—no, that's. No, you're not—this isn't what I—fuck, I think I’m gonna pass out,” he stammers breathlessly, and honestly, he is starting to look a bit lightheaded. He shakes himself, closing his eyes, then takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly.
You quietly wait for him to gather himself, almost wishing you hadn't said anything. Almost, but not really, not enough to try to take it back.
Finally, he blinks his eyes open and turns to you. “I didn't come here expecting you to–to help me with my… problem.”
“Jakey,” you say on an exhale, smiling. “I know that. I offered because I wanted to.”
“But why?” he questions, bewildered.
You purse your lips, glancing up at the ceiling as you think about your response carefully this time. “Because you're one of my best friends, and you're hurting, in a way. I know it's not like, the worst thing in the world to just get off with your own hands, but I feel like getting shot down at the last minute every time you go to have sex can't be good for you mentally, either.”
Jake shifts his gaze to his lap then, mouth twisting into something disappointed, and that just confirms what you've said. He's started taking this to heart, beating himself up over something entirely out of his control. Sure, you wanna get your hands, mouth, and everything else on his dick, but a guy like Jake deserves to be brought to orgasm by someone else.
“Think of it as a favor,” you try, quietly, nudging his arm.
Swallowing roughly, he meets your eyes, searching. “Are you sure?” he asks after a long pause.
You reach out and grab his hand, twining your fingers with his. “I’m sure.” When he still hesitates, you squeeze his hand lightly. “You can say no, Jake.”
“No.” You start to pull away, and then he shakes his head quickly, holding on to you tighter. “No, I mean—I don't want to say no. I'm just. I'm a little nervous.”
His confession breaks your heart a little more. On the surface, this problem isn't all that serious, but underneath it all, Jake is craving connection. You’ll make sure he leaves your apartment more than satisfied.
“If at any point, for any reason, you want to stop then we’ll stop,” you promise.
He finally smiles, small and lopsided, and nods in agreement. You stand up, tugging him to rise with you and struggling to lift all that muscle mass.
“Come on,” you instruct, “let's go to my bedroom. We’ll have more space there.”
Silently, he follows you to your room, palm clammy against yours. The sun is shining through your windows, beams landing directly on your bed like some kind of spotlight. You let go of Jake’s hand to quickly shove your comforter to the foot of your bed then climb onto it.
“C’mere,” you murmur when you see him hovering unsurely beside the bed, patting the space between your legs.
First, Jake makes quick work of the button and zip on his jeans, before knee-walking to where you indicated. You both settle on the mattress, your back to the headboard and Jake getting comfortable against your chest and into the cradle of your spread thighs. The position really highlights your size difference, almost comically, and you have to swallow down all the things you want to say or sounds that threaten to escape.
Jake already has his jeans back down around his knees and quickly wiggles his underwear down to get his dick out. He’s jittery, his movements stilted and awkward, like he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself.
“Relax, Jakey,” you softly instruct, reaching up to squeeze at his shoulders comfortingly. “It’s just me. I’m here to help, okay?”
“Right,” Jake replies on an exhale, nodding, “okay. It’s fine. I’m fine.”
Your lips quirk slightly. “Good. I’m gonna touch you now, alright?”
“Okay,” Jake murmurs.
You hear him swallow, see his fists clench and unclench where they’re resting beside his thighs. Tentatively, as if not to startle him, you move your hands to Jake’s hips, petting over the exposed skin there. You hear Jake’s breath hitch then, so you keep going. You trail your fingers down the tops of Jake’s thighs, into the crease where they meet his groin and back up, just a touch higher than before, and you repeat the motion a few times until you’ve worked the hem of Jake’s shirt up to give you better access to his torso.
Slowly, Jake sinks further and further into your embrace, getting heavier and heavier the more you touch him. You are quietly loving the weight of him, the way his head is starting to loll and his eyelids beginning to flutter. You watch Jake bite his lip when you finally tease closer to his hardening cock, running your fingernails lightly across the trimmed hair above it.
You raise one of your hands, palm up, with a soft, “Jake,” as instruction.
He blinks down at your hand for a second, dazed, and then he’s carefully holding your hand and bringing it up to press a surprisingly gentle kiss to your palm. You feel your face grow hot as you hide your smile in Jake’s shoulder, though you’re positive he can feel it anyway.
“Jakey,” you say again, painfully endeared, “I meant for you to, you know, get my hand wet.”
“Oh.” He huffs a little at himself, but he doesn’t hesitate to bring your hand back up to his mouth and drag his tongue across your open palm.
Now it’s your turn for your breath to catch in your throat, locking every part of your body so you don't make any sudden movements or do something stupid. That gets more difficult to avoid when Jake, after thoroughly licking all over your hand, tops it all off by gathering the remaining saliva in his mouth, makes you cup your hand and then spits into it. For a split second, you think you’re about to come, which would be mortifying, so you’re glad when you’re able to reign in your hormones and offer a small thank you so you can get back to the task at hand. Literally.
You bite the inside of your cheek as you finally allow yourself to look over Jake’s shoulder, and honestly, you could weep at the sight before you. Jake’s cock is fully hard now, lying against his toned stomach, looking more intimidating than ever. Somehow his cock seems bigger, and thicker too. Your mouth waters, but you tell yourself to focus.
With your dry hand, you lift Jake’s cock, holding him at the base while you bring your other hand down to curl around the head. Jake gasps lightly, but otherwise stays still and quiet, at least until you begin stroking him. Slow and steady, you drag your hand down to the base of Jake’s cock, then add a little more pressure on the upstroke. Jake makes a punched out kind of sound, his knees jerking up slightly before settling back in place. A thrill rushes through you, powerful and giddy at the thought of Jake being at your mercy, of being the one to pull out even these tiny reactions. It makes you want to see just how loud you can make him. For now, though, you continue your steady pace, feeling more than hearing Jake’s sigh when you use your free hand to start touching him everywhere you can reach again.
What’s dangerous about this is that you could get used to it. You’re pretty sure you already are, and that could spell disaster for you, because you’re just supposed to be helping him out. This is only supposed to be offering Jake some relief after being unable to get off with a partner, to give him pleasure that isn’t by his own hands. You press your lips together and speed up your stroking, just a smidge, squeeze a bit more around the head and dig your thumb into Jake’s slit.
“Oh,” he utters, head falling back to rest on your shoulder, eyes closed tight and hips twitching up into your touch, chasing the feeling.
“Does it feel good, Jakey?” you boldly ask.
Jake nods and hums. “So good,” he affirms. He moves his hands to grip your knees as he adds, “Being so good to me, sweetheart.”
And, well. Fuck. You've been trying to pretend your pussy isn't wetter than it's been in a long while, but his words have you wishing you could close your thighs for some much needed friction. Subtly, you try to shift your hips and all it does is make you more frustrated. You let out a huff, breath fanning out against Jake’s neck. He shivers against you and you pause. Your lack of movement makes him whine, low and pleading, and it jolts you back into action.
Dragging your gaze down the line of his throat only makes you want to put your mouth on it, see if you can get him to shiver again. You peek at his face and see his eyes are still closed. Softly, so soft, you lean in and press a kiss to the side of his neck, and the way he responds is beautiful.
He whimpers, tilts his head back further to give you more room, his hips bucking up into your hold as you continue stroking him at a rhythmic pace. And you really can't say no to that kind of invitation. So, sufficiently sure that he doesn't mind it, you press even more kisses into his skin, trailing them up and down his neck and shoulder, as far as you can reach. The kisses turn wet, your tongue flicking out to taste him. Jake’s stomach muscles clench, and you quicken the pace of your hand up a bit, mouthing sloppily up his neck to his ear.
“Don't know how anyone could refuse you,” you mutter, your own breathing getting heavier to match his. “How can anyone look at your cock and not want to sit on it, Jakey? It doesn't make sense.”
He groans, planting his feet on the mattress so he has better leverage to thrust up into your fist, panting and letting out needy sounds.
“God, Jake,” you whine. You suck and bite a mark on his throat, pulling away once you're happy with it. “I bet you would feel perfect inside me,” you confess in a whisper.
“Stop,” he pants, and you let go of him in an instant, stomach dropping.
Before you can start to panic too much, Jake clumsily shifts around until he's on his haunches facing you, flushed all the way down his chest, eyes blazing behind his frames. You open your mouth to ask him what's wrong, but then he's gripping you under your knees and yanking. You fall flat on your back with a startled yelp and Jake is there to swallow the sound, kissing you like it's his lifeline. A moan rips its way out of your chest, arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer to you.
He breaks the kiss, glasses askew, to ask, “Can I please fuck you?”
Any other time you'd snort at the politeness of such a vulgar question, but at the moment all you can do is nod, roughly tugging at his shirt until he gets the hint and removes it, almost knocking his glasses off entirely. It lands somewhere on the floor, along with his jeans and underwear a second later. You squirm once you see his body fully naked, core throbbing in need to have it against you, on top of you.
“You too,” he murmurs, reaching for your shorts.
You lift your hips to help him, biting your lip at the way he curses when he realizes you aren’t wearing panties. With a grin, you surprise him further by taking off your t-shirt and reveal you're also not wearing a bra.
“Would it totally ruin the moment if I say I’ve wanted this for way too long?” he wonders, eyes raking over your body, his hands joining soon after.
You smile softly and shake your head. “Not at all.” He returns your smile, but yours eases into something mischievous. “But what will ruin the moment is if you don't get your fingers in me to get me ready for your big cock.”
Jake’s smile drops. “Fuck,” he says with feeling.
To incentivize him, you spread your legs, hand tracing a path down to where you're dripping. He watches with blown pupils and a slack jaw. When you hum as your fingers lightly glide down your slit, he snaps into focus. He knocks your hand away to replace it with his own. You sigh at the touch of his calluses on your sensitive skin, tilting your hips up and moaning when he finally sinks one finger inside you.
Thankfully, he doesn't seem to want to waste time, thrusting his finger steadily. You've never appreciated how long his fingers are more than you are at this very moment. He works you up to three of them much too fast for your liking, but you understand the urgency he’s feeling, and you can't really deny that you're feeling it too.
“That's good, Jake, c’mon, please get in me already,” you beg, shifting restlessly.
“Shit,” he breathes, “okay, yeah, let me just—”
He shuffles closer, taking his cock in hand and rubbing it up and down your slit, the head catching on your opening, making you whine. He curses under his breath some more and starts pushing in. Your mouth drops open, but no sound comes out, brows furrowing deeply as he splits you open on his cock. When he bottoms out, you let out a sharp exhale that hitches in your chest, while Jake’s chest is heaving like he's run a marathon.
“So tight,” he mutters.
“So—” You hiccup through a desperate sob. “So big, oh my god, Jakey, baby, please move, I need you to move.”
His chin drops to his chest with a pained sounding groan, but he listens. He draws his hips back, cock dragging deliciously out of you, before he thrusts back in. You're not sure you've stopped making noise since he started pulling out, high and needy and hungry pleas for more, and he's barely even gotten started.
Every sensation feels dialed up to a million. You're not sure sex has ever been like this for you; like your skin is on fire, like you can feel your pulse throb through every limb, through every single finger and toe, but especially in your clit. Your nipples even feel more sensitive than usual as they brush against his chest. Your body is positively singing with pleasure.
And Jake… Oh, that sweet, precious man is in heaven. You know you're tight around him, warm and wet, the perfect place to fuck into, and now that he's finally getting what he's wanted he's not holding back. He's fucking you like he’s gonna be graded on it after. His hips slam into yours and he can't stop making noises of his own. Grunts, soft gasps, neverending praise over how you feel, how he's so happy this is happening, how he's never going to stop fucking you.
Your nails dig into the flesh on his back, dragging all the way down until you flatten your palms on his ass and squeeze. His thrusting falters for a second, but he finds his rhythm again quickly, dropping to his elbows so that he's even closer. He kisses along your collarbones, nipping at the base of your throat before sucking at the spot harshly. You moan brokenly and clutch at him tighter.
“Left my mark on you, too,” he declares, kissing the bruise he’s made, then kisses you properly, tongue sliding across yours and dipping into your mouth.
You're not sure how much longer you can hold back from touching your clit, your need ratcheting higher and higher, but you know Jake is right there with you. He's pounding into you roughly now, chasing his climax with determination. Reaching down, you swipe your fingers through your slick and use it to rub your clit, a whimper escaping you when you tighten around him from the added stimulation. Jake growls and speeds up some, hitching one of your legs up his side. It changes the angle just enough that he's hitting that spot inside you that has you crying out, a long warble of his name, fingers quickening their pace on your clit.
“Yeah, that's it,” he encourages. “Please, come for me. Come on, baby, let me see it, wanna watch you fall apart.”
All of your breath gets trapped in your lungs as warmth pools in your core and bursts outward, your pussy fluttering and clamping down on his cock. Your body shivers through your climax, thighs trembling unceasingly as Jake groans and fucks you harder, three, four more times before stilling. He comes with a loud moan, grinding inside you as he rides it out.
After a moment, he collapses on top of you. You grunt at his weight, but smile tiredly at your ceiling, combing your fingers through his hair. You feel him press a kiss on your shoulder.
“Thank you,” he mumbles.
That makes you giggle, which in turn makes you clench and has Jake whining since he's still buried inside you. Gingerly, he pulls out, both of you hissing at the sensation. He runs a tender finger along the outside of your opening.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks, concerned.
“No, baby,” you whisper.
He meets your gaze then, hopeful, still flushed with exertion and glasses slightly foggy. “Baby?”
You hum with a grin. “Yes. My big, beefy baby,” you tease. “I’m keeping you all to myself now.”
“You know, I think I just might be okay with that,” he replies, beaming in a way that puts the sunlight through your window to shame.
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a66-1 · 7 months ago
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yo what about grumpy simon meets somehow grumpier reader !! maybe at a pub with the lads and she’s with her girls!! just two intimidating idiots <3
Yes!! this is so me as a human lmao..
Grumpy!Simon x Grumpy!Reader
a/n: yay!! second ask!! sorry it took so long, writers block and finals are kicking my ass rn.
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You take a seat at the crowded pub, grumbling into a glass of wine. You've downed two drinks in, what, a couple minutes? Christ, how you're friends have more self control than you blows your mind.
Your friends sit around you, sipping from an assortment of drinks, laughing and talking about. Being the quiet friend definitely has its perks when your friend group is chatty, you get all the tea.
Danny's boyfriend cheated. Again.
Lauren's family is arguing two months too early already for the holidays.
Kadence's dogs are being the death of her and her small apartment.
You were never one to drop how you feel to your whole friend group, or even share more than what happened a couple hours ago. I mean, that's already too much information.
A natural grump. The grinch, Lauren called you. I mean come on, not to be one of those guys, but, your smile is so pretty!
You stand to excuse yourself, to grab another drink. I mean, technically, you should be getting water, but another bourbon sounds real fucking nice..
"Hey can I get..." You trail off when you notice a tall man come up next to you, and order exactly what you were ordering. Rude.
"Bourbon. On the rocks." The guy muttered, throwing down cash to pay for the drink. I rolled my eyes and glanced to the bartender.
"Bourbon too, please. On the rocks." You gave the guy a snide look, and sat down to wait for your drink. The guy cranes his neck up to watch whatever football game was going on, enamored with a bunch of men getting handsy on a flagged play.
"You could've been nicer and waited your turn, asshat." You grumbled, sorta for yourself, and a little for him. He chuckled, turning.
"Me? An asshat? Okay, Ms. I'm-Nice-To-Everyone, get some balls." He shrugged you off, and kept his eyes glued to the TV.
"I didn't say- Jesus, you're a fucking grump." You scoff, before realizing you sound just like Lauren right now.. The guy huffs, and turns to you, and lowers his head to be level with yours.
"I'm the grump? You're the one groveling over a little shove." He rolled his eyes. You mutter under your breath and move a seat away, waiting for your drink with a hand under your chin. You grab you drink when it came, and you moved back to your table.
"Lauren?" You mumble, sipping your drink. She curiously turns to you.
"Yeah?"
"Am I an asshole?" You ask, shoulders slumping.
Lauren stifles a laugh, and nods slightly. "When you're in one of your moods, yeah. Why?"
You groan, rubbing your eyes. "I think I met my match.."
anndddd yeah. a little dabble. inspo has been down. Please request more!
thanks babes...
-a661
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icarusredwings · 3 months ago
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I rewatched Deadpool 2 and took notes.
Disclaimer: He's mentally ill and does mentally ill things (GASP, who would have thought?). Also, violence. A lot of violence. It's really long. Like.. really really long.
The very first words he says is "fuck wolverine"
Then blows his own head off with a shit ton of gasoline. Wonder if he had insurance on that appartment.
He started taking worldwide cases
He also admits to knowing "8th grade spanish"
"Passion of the christ. Then me." Says the man whos marvel jesus now.
I wonder how much wade owes cab guy.
Cab guy killed bandu Lmao
"What is it?"
"My IUD"
"A bomb??" Tell me why he was lowkey excited for it to be a bomb?
I love how serious he gets talking about how scared he is to be a dad.
This empire joke traveled from the first movie too.
"Pretty sure it doesn't work that way but we can try" yes.
When making toaster strudles its almost as if he could sense them coming despite it being so silent. This kind of makes me think that Logans not the only one who just jumps up sometimes.
This man really just said "Fuck it" jumped out of a 2 story window, BOLTED after this guy as fast as he could, got hit by a car, rammed another car, and whole ass hugged this guy before jumping in front of a truck with him. I don't want to see anyone try to tell me he's one sandwitch drop away from jumping off a cliff.
Cinatography by Blind Al.
Directed by one of those guys that killed john wicks dog.
God I love Ryan Reynolds because you know it was him.
Wade stop peeing your pants in public.
Weasel "We still have bowie..." Yeah id lie to him too at this point.
"Yeah im fine"
Fucked up
Insecure
Needy and
Emotional. Kübler ross apprently.
"Buck no more speaking lines for you" and he meant that shit.
Al is so humble and sweet. Making tea and giggling. Tries to shoot him and then just hears him collapse on the floor. How many times do you think he collapses on the floor a week? Just to be drimatic?
"Sweetheart can you speak up? Its a little hard to hear you with yhat pity dick in your mouth" Oh so shes his mom. Al is his fucking mom. Hands down. And the best one.
I love how he decided to do an entire bag of cocaine before dying. There was no reason for it and honestly was a waste of cocaine until you realize that these cocaine is wades whiskey. Shots dont work for him really, probably because hes already done it so much, but its the same way how Logan chugs that bottle before wade kidnaps him. Its easier to blame it on a substance then accept those were your actions.
Ness is so cute. The poster behind her has "I love you wade wilson" scratched into it. Its nice to know that his version of heaven is literally just a cozy Saturday morning with his wife.
Colossus just walking in to find wades body parts everywhere and put him in a bag like old dirty clothes lol
"Why cant I fucking die" tone was SO serious.
The fact that theres an x men rule book and its lowkey thicker then a bible. I bet you scott and Logan made 80% of those.
"That asshole was me" oh the tears. Baby boyy.
Wait isnt cable literally scotts son.
Im never going to understand this fucking time line jesus christ
Mutant rehabilitation?? What is he a drug addict? That kid is clearly in pain dipshits.
"X men trainee" is so funny
"Please stop cheating on me"
Daniel the pedophile looking ass
Bro casually signs ryan reynolds on the wolverine cereal box and then destroys his knee caps.
"Those guys hurt you??" It was at that moment, wade went ape shit.
Wade having fun in prison is so him. But come on imagine going to prison just for standing up to an abused child. Not to mention, His face when he immediately realizes how fucked he is and that "oh shit I actually DO have cancer now and it SUCKS"
Is it just me or does Cable reminds you of forge with all his cool fix it abilities. Or is he just futurey.
He didn't say were not friends to make him upset but to draw attention to himself. Him just eye rolling when stabbed in the hand was so funny too because he was like "Ouch. God damn it. Ducking OUCH."
Hes literally pleading with russel to find someone else to peotect him or hes gonna get molested because he cant do anything. His entire power is replacing dead cells WITH new cancer cells. His entire body is dying 24/7 but never fast enough to actually kill him, always regrowing way too quickly. Cancerous is better then dead.
"Get away from me kid" yeah cause he knows hes trouble and he REALLY doesn't wanna watch this kid die.
"Who the hell tries to kill a 14 year old boy"
"Kids give us a chance to be better then we used to be"
Dopinder is so wholesome. I love him so much. No i dont care that he killed a guy. Hes the type of friend you call to take to the movies or the zoo once every year and hes stoked just to be invited.
Peter: I just thought it looked fun :D
Dopinder: FUCK
Peter is that one dad whos kids left the nest and now he needs friends and a hobby so searches for the biggest weirdos he can find.
"Grab the boy- NOT INAPPROPRIATELY >:("
i love his crayon maps/plans
Oh my god weasel im not telling you anything ever again you snitch (same dude, cable is terrifying)
After crying over the love he has for his new team (x force) Wade confirms that he spent 10 years in special forces.
I love how supportive wade is with Peter despite him just being a normal dude only for him to immediately die LMAO
He just cassually lets his impulse win in which he steals a moped.
Oh i just noticed Dominos vitiligo. I always loved vitiligo charaters. Theyre so unique and barley ever given movie roles. Like why not?? Why wouldnt you want someone so beautiful? Im pretty sure she just has make up but it would be cool if not.
Something else is that cable just starts yeeting criminals out onto the street lol
"Theres nothing I cant kill" Let me intorduce you to the man whos on a constant road to dying but can never actually get there.
Im assuming cable wants to kill russel because he unleashes a big bad guy or something.
*cassually snaps neck back into place* Oh god that hurt!
Oh I was right! It was Juggernaut :)
Wade: *gets excited about being PHYSICALLY ripped in half*
"Rub my legs mama 🥺 I got growing pains"
"Oh noo! No no no Dp not again!" We love you Dopinder. Do not ever stop caring. "This shits happened before!?" Yes weasel. Sometimes your friends get ripped in half. Get used to it.
Wade just moves her gun to the right position.
Wade talking about saving russel is so serious that it makes you forget that he has a tiny baby ass rn. I couldn't make a deal with someone woth tiny baby legs... just... no. Not to mention that those baby legs are made of cancer.
"50 years from now you're super fucking dead"
Wade standing outside of the xmen mansion with his phone and a picture of a boom box playing music for Colossus to come outside and help him save russel is something i can see happening to Logan. They have a fight and he storms off to the mansion only for wade to stand outside like that.
"Hi Wade🎀✨️" "Hi Yukio!🥹 you guys make a super cute couple 😊 where was I? 🤨"
"So you wear a helmet so your brother cant read your mind?" "Yeaaahh" average kid conversations.
"Lets fuck some shit up is my legal middle name"
Okay sir edgelord.
Apprently wade has a gluten sensitivity
What is it with wade and metal men??? My man has a type.
"Im just gonna use this brick and maximum effort" Same wade. Same.
Yaayy!! Go yukio! Eveyone loves yukio.
"Thats how we do it in mother russia" What? Shoving an electrical cable up their ass and then put them in a pool? Damn. Ok.
That "I never should have never left you in that prison" with the hug? Man hed be a decent dad I think.
"Dont be ive been trying to make this happen for awhile" okay someone supervise him 24/7. Hes on the active watch list.
Wade: *is dying* Hi Yukio :D
Yukio: Hi wade :)
"R-dog" Oh my god hes too cute.
Them carrying the racist joke all the way til the end made me cringe but that was the point.
His last words being "do you wanna build a snow man?" Is such a deadpool thing.
I was NOT expecting to cry at the end of this stupid ass movie, AGAIN
"Dont fuck colossus" VANESSA KNEW
THE FUCKING COIN
"Is there a knife in my dick?" "There's a knife in your dick."
Oh I just didn't even notice she has heterochromancia! <3 Aahh!!
PFFT DOPINDERS SECOND CONFIRMED KILL
"WERE DEFINITELY NAMINF OUR KID CHER"
"Dont scratch!" *shoots himself 8 times* "Love you! Bye."
Wolverine: ???
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cruisingforcruiserweights · 1 month ago
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okay so here is the post about the fuckshit I witnessed at the final night of eurotour 24 (Amsterdam 2), I've already heard about the nonsense being pulled by people in the first and second rows at barricade, but I wasn't able to queue that early so imagine I'm around the first quarter of the way back from the stage, maybe row 7/8?
a couple of mid-40's parents (I didn't say the age to discriminate, just to point out that they should know better) decided that they would run the middle of the room like their own personal kingdom, with themselves and their incredibly mouthy teenage daughters screaming and cussing out anyone who even dared brush up against them. and I mean not try and move past or shove them, merely BRUSH AGAINST THEIR ARMS.
at one point, around 10 minutes before the show was about to start, the teenage daughters decided it was a genius idea to SIT in the middle of the room and play with their phones. this resulted in a woman who was trying to make her way through the crowd to bring drinks back to her boyfriend tripping over one of them as she tried to move through the crowd, because guess what!!! if you're sitting on the ground surrounded by people, in the dark, no one can see you there!!! and although she apologised, the whole family then proceeded to go off on her, screaming and bellowing insults at her.
this behaviour continued through the ENTIRE show. anytime the crowd moved due to dancing, bouncing, normal stuff that happens at a gig that resulted in one of said family members being touched, said person would get screamed at, and I would ended up looking over my shoulder every time to just see the father and mother going off on someone who had clearly not meant it and was trying to apologise (even though they had likely been pushed along with the crowd themselves).
the worst incident came when, I can't remember what song it was in the middle of unfortunately, a woman was moving through the crowd for whatever reason and bumped into one of them, I can't remember if it was into the man or one of the girls, but the father decided that the appropriate response was to get up in that woman's face and bellow and physically THREATEN TO PUNCH HER with his fist centimetres away from her face while she was PROFUSELY apologising and trying to explain that she had been bumped by someone next to her and hadn't meant to shove anyone.
now I'm fucking sorry, but have you never gone to a fucking gig before?? the crowd MOVES. people dance, people jump, people move. it is 100% expected that you are going to end up being touched to some degree, often completely by accident because that's what happens when large amounts of people are together to see MUSIC. not ONCE did I witness anyone trying to shove past this family or cut in line or ANYTHING that would justify this appalling behaviour, if anything people were giving them a WIDE fucking berth once they'd witnessed their bad tempers the first few times, in fact from what I experienced this was probably the gig where I've had my personal space respected THE MOST in my life, I'm so used to being crushed against the people next to me, I could practically do yoga in all the space I had to myself lmao.
but apparently that wasn't enough for these people .
I'm conflicted about bringing your children to a high energy gig, if I'm honest. it just doesn't seem responsible to me. but if you absolutely MUST, if youre so fucking territorial about the prospect of your precious angels getting bumped into, why would you not take them up to the balcony?? I saw parents with kids up there having a great time! you get a great view and they're perfectly safe the whole time!! and why would you let them SIT ON THE FUCKING GROUND IN THE DARK so someone walking through the crowd can trip over them?? jesus christ!!
it was the fact that the man and woman seemed to think that towering over a much smaller woman, barking in her face and threatening to PHYSICALLY ASSAULT her was also appropriate behaviour to display in front of said children too. I could already see the girls taking after their parents with the way they also screamed and pushed people every time they dared come too close, and I know they're just teenagers and I shouldn't judge them because it's obvious where they learned that behaviour, but jesus christ was I happy when the trafik moshpit started to form DIRECTLY AROUND THEM and they were forced to move to the side or risk being in the center of it. can't deny I got a kick out of that.
what truly shocked me honestly was the idea that these people came to a KÄÄRIJÄ gig, were supposedly kä FANS, and you behave LIKE THAT? jere is such a caring, sweet person who showed nothing but love and appreciation for everyone who came, who talked profusely about how important it was that everyone had a good time, and laid down safety rules for the pit too and seemed genuinely concerned that no one got hurt in the process... and these people apparently thought that none of that applied to them. as far as they were concerned, this was THEIR concert.
honestly fuck those trashy people, and fuck their nasty kids. i hope they spent the entirety of trafik getting bounced around like pinballs and seething the entire time.
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