#Jason has Bizarro and Artemis

[astriddestelle]

Batman is so funny. Every time he tries to implement his whole no metas in my city rule this is how it goes without fail.

—————————

Batman: No metas in my city

Dick: Except for Wally he’s my best friend

Batman: Fine

Dick: Oh and Starfire my girlfriend, technically she’s an alien.

Batman: …..I suppose

Dick: And I guess the rest of the Titans when they come to visit.

Batman: ....

Dick: *grins* That’s it I swear.

-----------------------

Batman: No metas in my city except for the Teen Titans

Tim: What about Superboy he’s my best friend?

Batman: Fine

Tim: Oh and Bart he’s my other best friend

Batman: ......Alright

Tim: Wait, I can’t forgot Cassie and the rest of Young Justice

Batman: *scowls*

Tim: *puppy dog eyes*

Batman: *crosses arms* No metas in my city except the Teen Titans and Young Justice

----------------------

Damien: *raises eyebrows*

Batman: And Irey West and Collin Wilkes, Or Ace West and Jon Kent (depending on continuity)

Damien: Thank you

---------------------------

Batman: *Looks at Jason*

Jason: *shrugs* Don’t look at me, I died at thirteen, I don’t have any friends.

Batman: That's concer-

Jason: Though Bizarro and Artemis were pretty cool…

Batman: *Adds them to the list*

—————————

Alfred: Aren’t you forgetting someone?

Batman: Who

Alfred: *Gestures to the entire Justice League most of who are the parental figures of the kids his kids have play dates with*

Batman: Clearly this rule isn’t working.

[wortsandall]

im so mad they killed roy while jason was recovering from rhato #25...sicko behavior from the writers

[funkylilnerd]

guys. guys im BEGGING if ur writing a long recovery fic about one of the bats PLEASE for the love of GOD have their friends there too. you think the teen “ride-or-die” titans gonna stand by while the rest of the bats “handle it”???? NOOOOOOOO!!! THEY DONT EVEN LIKE BRUCE STEP ASIDE LORD OF DARKNESS!!!!

[aalghul]

in the top 10 worst things about being a jason fan has to be that 99% of his fanon and canon content with friends is some variation of a rhato lineup

[arrowmaker15]

(Jason hanging out with both iterations of the Outlaws at once)

Roy: Let me get this straight, you're dating Tim's ex?

Jason: For the last time, yes.

Kori: But is that not wrong?

Jason: Nope.

Bizarro: Me disagree with Red Him.

Jason: Why!?

Artemis: You're sleeping with the ex of your sibling, and he is fully aware of it. You live in the same house.

Jason: I don't-

Roy: When was the last time you stayed at a safehouse?

Jason: Last-

Artemis: That wasn't your girlfriends?

Jason:

Jason: Fuck both of you. Teaming up on me and shit. Damn traitors if you ask me.

(Roy and Artemis high five with matching smirks)

[fucksutawneyphil]

i need outlaws three with these four please please PLEASE THE CLARA TERRA PARALLELS GO CRAZY

[roseworth]

But Jason does have friends, Artemis and Bizarro. Two friends, he has two.

artemis is too good for him and im trying to convince myself that bizarro in rhato was just a bad dream

[strunmah-mah]

The Outlaws, but it the Dark Knights of Steel-verse:

Bruce here's word the Ra's al Ghul is making a homunculus of one of the El's

He wants to send a Robin to infiltrate the League of Shades, but Ra's knows about them and would out a Robin quickly.

Somehow it gets decided that Jason will get publicly disavowed and banished from the Kingdom of El allowing him to openly join the league without any suspicion.

Inside the league he becomes allies with the enslaved Artemis, whose soul was kidnapped by the demon Dalkriig-Hath after she was killed at the Battle of Regret.

Together they liberate the homunculus, Bizarro, and getting attached to each other the three stick together and proceed to be a source of shenanigans all across the three kingdoms

[gay-dorito-dust]

Wayne’s family adventures WEBTOON made me do this.

Duke: so quick recap *points to Jason* he has Artemis and bizarro

Duke: *points to Damian* he has Jon

Duke: *points to tim* he has Connor and wonder girl.

Duke: *points to dick* he has Donna Troy

Duke: *points to Cassandra* she also has Connor

Duke: who do you have?

You: I have this fucking thing *points to Kyle Rayner*

Kyle: (name) I’m pretty sure I ate something waaaayyy out of date, am I going to die? Is this the end for me? *grips you by the shoulders* IS THIS THE END OF OUR SUPER BUDDY JOURNEY! Say it ain’t so! I cannot loose my non powered buddy!

You: *to duke* having a super buddy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise, they’re big babies with superpowers.

Kyle: *clinging onto you* my stomach hurts.

Duke: …duly noted.

[demonic0angel]

Competition (click for clarity)

I have so many Anger Management comics and ideas in my drafts, I’m literally on the verge of going insane bc I can’t post them rn.

Image description below:

Panel 1 has Artemis and Bizarro looking annoyed and tired, dressed in regular or uninteresting clothes. Jason is in front of them, facing away.

Artemis: … do we have to go?

Jason: Yes.

Panel 2 has a close up of Jason’s exasperated expression as he turns around to face them.

J: It’s not going to be that bad. Jazz is going to be there too so—

Artemis, from offscreen: Jazz?

Panel 3 has Jason staring at them in horrified disbelief as both Bizarro and Artemis have now changed their clothes into something extravagant and fancy. The both of them have smug expressions but are pretending to be nonchalant while they sparkle.

A: Well, we can’t keep a lady waiting, right? We have to hurry and go.

J: …

[celestialgalaxyglow]

Batfam and Danny, Part 48

Danny and Roy where on a stakeout, they had been perched on top of a building overlooking a warehouse for an hour with nothing happening. Roy has playing with the string of his bow, and Danny was getting bored.

Danny: Hey dad.

Roy (still getting used to Danny calling him dad): Yeah?

Danny: How did you and Dad fall in love?

Roy: Why don't you ask him?

Danny (raising an eyebrow): Have you met your boyfriend?

Roy: Ok that's fair... Ok, I'll tell you, but you can't tell Jason.

Danny (smiling): Deal!

Roy: I met your dad when he was still Robin and I Red Arrow. We were friends, but wouldn't say close. When he died it was a big shock to all of us. We all knew the risk of our line of work, but to everyone loosing such a young hero was a lot. Then six months later when he came back to life I was so happy to have my friend back.

Danny: You two got close after that?

Roy: Yeah, it was after that, that we started to become closer, and each other's best friends. Later Jason invited me, Artemis, and Bizarro to join a team he was forming the Outlaws. I happily joined, under a new name Arsenal. Things remained the same for a few years. Three years ago I had my drunken one night stand with Jade resulting in Lian. Jason was disappointed in me, but still supported me during Lian's early months.

Danny: Aww.

Roy: Yeah, I was so happy to have some help, not saying Oliver didn't help, but it was nice to have Jason around. As for us falling in love it was about a year ago. We were at the Outlaws base when we decided to wrestle.

Danny: Wrestle?

Roy (blushing): Just wrestle. We went at it for a while till Jason managed to pin me down and I conceded the match. I looked up at him and just knew I was a goner. I kept my feelings to myself, not wanting to sick losing my best friend, plus there was Lian, having him help me out once in a while is very different from becoming a stepfather. Still a few weeks later we both found ourselves back at base after a patrol. We were both exhausted, and somehow we started joke flirting, one thing lead to another and we ended up... "wrestling."

Danny: Wow, so much for being exhausted.

Roy: The human body is weird like that. So the following morning we both talked and we confessed to each other. I brought up Lian and Jason told me that he loved us both and that he would be the best possible stepfather to Lian as he could. So yeah after that we became a couple, no official label, just friends with benefits. Roy looked at Danny. Then a few months later Jason told me that he took on a sidekick. Then a month later that he adopted said sidekick.

Danny (smiling): What can I saw I made a good sidekick.

Roy: Yeah you do. So after that Jason and I kept doing our thing till we just agreed to become official and move i together with out kids. So there you have it.

Danny: Beautiful.

Roy: Yeah, I love Jason so much.

Roy and Danny smiled at each other.

Jason: Ahem, did you two forget your comms are on?

Roy and Danny: ...

Jason: You two are lucky I love you.

Danny: Come on I should know how my dads fell in love.

Jason: You do and honestly you all had to do is ask. I know I don't often express my feelings but I would have told you the story. Nevertheless you are both banned from the cookie jar, two weeks.

Roy and Danny: Ok...

(Master Post)

[wondersinwaynemanor]

i think there's an act for thinking that the batkids lie, making up stories all because Dick told the Teen Titans when they were kids that Bruce Wayne is Batman. so when they tell the truth, the others think they are straight up lying.

Dick: Little Wing is back! He's Red Hood.

Donna: Here we go again.

Gar: Nice one, Dick. But nah.

Wally, pouts and hugs him: Hey, I know you miss your brother. It's okay, Dick.

Dick returns the hug regardless.

Roy: Nah, cus Red Hood is built like a brick. By the way, I have to say it, he's hot as fuck.

Dick: Heyy, that's my brother you're talking about!

Donna: The last time we saw Jason, he was tiny and so adorable.

Raven: And he wasn't violent at all.

Dick, whines: I know but trust me, Red Hood is Jason.

Kory touches Dick's forehead to check if he has a fever after he hit his head during a mission.

---

Jason: I'm living with Roy and I'm going to adopt Lian.

Artemis: Really? The Big, Bad Red Hood?

Bizarro: You and Roy? You adopting little girl?

Kory shakes her head, patting Jason's head.

Jason: Why are you all looking at me like I'm making up bullshit?

Roy: We're getting married, live with it!

---

Tim: I'm missing my spleen.

Cassie: That's crap!

Bart: Ha, not funny, Rob. That's not crash.

Kon: Really? How come you're alive then?

Tim, rolls his eyes: Cus it's just my spleen.

Cassie, Bart and Kon look at each other and laugh.

Cassie: Reminds me of that time when you told us you're straight.

Kon: That was funnier though.

---

Cass: I killed.

Steph stops eating.

Babs stops typing on her computer.

Steph: We're waiting for the punch line, babe.

Cass: Not a joke.

Steph and Babs exchange looks, before shrugging and continuing their tasks.

Steph: I could kiss you right now, but I'll do it after I'm eating.

Cass rolls her eyes, but she's smiling.

---

Duke: I'm a meta.

Daxton: Whaaat?

Duke: You heard me.

Izzy: How come you never told me about this?

Riko: Cus he's obviously lying.

Izzy: Besides, doesn't Batman only have human kids or?

Duke: Doesn't mean me being a meta isn't true.

Daxton: Uh, anyways... Let's get some burgers!

Duke is getting ready to show his powers, when Izzy holds his hand and he just shuts up on cue.

---

Damian: I'm gonna call my dragon bat.

Jon: DRAGON BAT????

Damian: We need back up. And he's the best one.

Jon: Why didn't you tell me you have a dragon bat???

Damian tts.

Jon: Don't tell me you have a dragon rat too.

Damian: Do they exist is the question.

Jon: You're so funny, Dames.

Damian: I wasn't telling a joke, Jonathan.

[gothamhappiness]

haiiii i really like your writing and i was wondering if i could request a fic for the batfam and a he/they reader who has chronic pain and is going through a pretty not fun flare up and feels bad bc they haven't been able to patrol or help the others for a while, and can you make it really comforting

-🔆🦈(so i can find this later)

Hi sweetie, thank you for this request! I tried my best for it to be a gentle and comforting short oneshot.

This is my first platonic!batfamilly story, it was really fun to write. Hope you'll enjoy too!

FRIENDS ARE THE BEST PAINKILLERS (GN!reader x platonic!batfamilly)

Warnings: no proof reading, chronically ill!reader, reader!vigilante, mentions of pain, self pity and guilt, fluff and comfort

You wish the pain would go away now. 

You wish your body and mind would work together, instead of fighting each other. Weren’t they supposed to play on the same team?

Speaking of a team, you were watching the news. The Batfamily was all out tonight as some villains escaped Arkham. You were worried about them. You knew they were well trained people, but anything could happen to them.

And more than anything you were feeling guilty because you couldn't help them for another emergency. You were supposed to be one of them, you were supposed to be a vigilante too, and yet you couldn’t count how many patrols you skipped by then. 

You hated yourself for not being able to help. You couldn’t wait for the chronic pain to go away so you would be back on the field. You promised yourself you would work twice as hard to compensate. Yeah, you needed to prove to everyone that you were still worth it, that you were still part of the team.

You kept watching the news, your eyes glued to your phone.

You breathed a sigh of relief when the Batfamily brought everyone back to Arkham after a couple of hours.

You were proud of your people. You knew they were the best, and once again they showed it. 

Without thinking about it, you opened the group chat you had with them. You hadn’t sent messages in there for days now, too ashamed to reply. You wanted them to forget about you. But at the same time you missed your friends. 

“Hey guys, great job tonight! Hopefully I'll be by your side next time you'll need help” you sent while biting on your lips. 

You were such a loser, you thought. They clearly didn't need your help. You were about to put your phone down when you received a notification from Dick

“That would be great! We've been missing you. And you're truly the only one who appreciate my jokes here” you smiled as you read the messages

“Where have you been?” Jason asked you as he was away with Artemis and Bizarro when your illness had resurfaced again

“Home. Chronic pain and all. Life sucks” you replied

“It's okay, don't beat yourself up and come back when you'll be ready” Bruce sent you and you had to admit you had to read over and over again his message, feeling giddy.

Batman wasn't often messaging you, especially such encouraging words. You felt warmth blossoming inside your chest.

“Thanks a lot” you could only typed away

“You hungry? We were about to go to Batburgers. We could eat over at your place if you're not too tired?” Stephanie offered and it made you smile even more.

“I'd love that” you instantly replied

You told them what you would like and then waited for them. 

You slowly but surely clean up a little bit around even if it wasn't something they wouldn't have seen at their own place before. But you wanted them to feel good in your home, like you were feeling good around them.

A few instants later, you heard laughter echoing in your building corridors and you went to open the door. It was smelling fried food and it was also bringing you quite a lot of comfort. It might be a better night than you anticipated. 

When you saw them, you felt so grateful to have them.

Cassandra was the first one to reach for you and she gently hugged you, careful not to hurt you. You hugged her back before greeting everyone else. They all softly hugged you or embraced your shoulders. You leaned down to peck at Barbara’s cheek as she also came. The only one missing was Bruce but you didn’t really think he would be part of the improvised party. 

Tim, Jason and Damian started to gather seats around your table that was way too small for that many people, but as always, you all found a way to make room for everyone. 

Soon enough you were eating fries and chuckling at Jason's annoying remarks thrown at Dick. Barbara made a sarcastic comment about Tim who huffed and turned towards you.

“You’re gonna let her talk to me like that under your roof?” He asked you and you tried not to smile at that

“Yeah, no. Barbara, please stop. Can't you attack someone of your size for once?” you said to which Jason and Stephanie loudly laughed as Damian grinned

“Hey, Y/N” Tim huffed, faking offense “I thought you were on my side” 

“Oh no, I'm always on the side of the strongest” you shrugged “And Babs can too easily kick my ass or fry my phone, so yeah sticking by her side” you replied

“Smart move” Barbara hummed in approval

You continued to chat around, realising that for once the pain was bearable. Maybe it was because you were surrounded by people who loved you and made you happy. Cassandra put a hand on yours so your attention would be on her.

“You good?” She signed to you and you shrugged

“Right now yes, but this was truly a bad flare up and I don’t see the end of it” you admitted

“I'm sorry about that. We should have come over sooner” she said and you shook your head

“You guys are busy, it's okay” you smiled

“L/N have you eaten enough lately? You seem like you haven't got all your much needed nutritions" Damian's voice interrupted your discussion with Cassandra. 

You arched an eyebrow at that, surprised the grumpy boy seemed to care about you.

“Oh well, it's true I haven't been the best with food lately” you sheepishly admitted and Stephanie gently stroked your arm to comfort you. “But it's okay” you quickly added as everyone’s attention was now on you, and it was making you feel a little bit shy.

“Of course it is not. A warrior needs food to properly function. I will ask Alfred to cook for you and to send you the meals” Damian said and you had to admit you were half embarrassed, half exploding with joy to be under everyone's care.

“You don't have to bother him for me” you tried to refuse but Damian tutted you

“Nonsense”

“Good idea, Dami!” Dick nodded “it's true you need food and we'll deliver it to you so we'll be sure you'll eat it all” he added

“I take the first delivery” Jason said and instantly everyone started to argue over it. 

You leaned onto your seat and smiled to yourself. 

Life wasn’t that bad after all.

--

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

@tatsuri-zomushiki

@navs-bhat

@randomnamedmira

@winterhi09

@murkyponds

@qardasngan

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Pirate!AU Headcannons #3

I can not and will not stop thinking about this au, it is consuming my every thought

You're so, very important to Jason Todd, and that makes you very important to his crew

It was a slow start, to be comfortable alone with his crew, but they found a way to grow on you

It was a little daunting to be surrounded by a ship full of beautiful people (how is Jason's entire crew nice to look at?)

It starts with Kori, who finds you looking lost in the middle of the ship's galley. She heats up water for you and shows you where they store the good fruit and wine. She sits with you for a long time, telling you stories about her past and your husband's part in it all

Donna teaches you the fastest way to scale a rope ladder and shows you the world from the top of the mast. It's beautiful, you see why they all love it

Roy shows you how to shoot glass bottles. You're surprised how fun it is to try and hit the marks. You're even more surprised when he never misses

Bizarro has a knack for always having what you need, even before you know need it. Blankets on chilly nights on deck, music when your thoughts get too loud, and a flask filled with water when the sun is beating down on the ship

Rose gives you the sharpest dagger you've ever seen, and teaches you how to conceal it beneath your clothes, and how to effectively remove it with a flick of your wrist. She grins wickedly when the move becomes second nature to you

Artemis shows you how to dive off the ship's railing into the calm, crystal blue waters of the lagoon the ship's anchored in. Her eyes sparkle at you when manatees knock against your legs, curious and kind

You might not know it, but you've grown on Jason's crew just as much as they've grown on you

[bigscotman]

Fic idea: after Jason's world tour learning from the best of the best in basically every field, Talia sends him to the All-Caste and instead of leaving for Gotham to carry out his plan he stays. He does leave occasionally but that's usually on missions to kill untitled or other demons and magical monsters, either that or he'll be hanging out on Outlaw island with some mixture of Roy, Kori, Artemis, Bizarro, and Lian.

A few years later when Damian is about 12 Talia decides it's finally time to send Damian away so she can safely work on her coup d'état without worrying about Damian too much.

At first she was going to send Damian to Gotham (especially since her potential daughter-in-law is planning on presenting the clown's head to her eldest as a gift and proposal) but then she thought better of it, after all she saw what happened to poor Stephanie Brown when she was Robin and if she's being honest a 50% survival rate (even if both are now currently alive and training together) doesn't fill her with confidence.

So she decides to send Damian to the All-Caste like he'd been begging her to since he first heard her mention it when he was 5.

When she tells Damian he's ecstatic and she can only spare a small prayer for Ducra and Essence when she thinks about the chaos her 2 sons will get up to together, especially if they involve Brown too.

All she thinks after handing Damian off to the All-Mother and saying goodbye is "I hope this place is still standing by the time my father has been dealt with".

[astriddestelle]

Genuine question does Jason have any friends of his own that isn’t stolen from Dick or Tim's friend group?

He had/has Artemis, Bizarro, and Kid Devil.

Currently he has….?