#Jaskier is a slutty bard

[elythegardeningbard]

The Asskier Chair

For those who don't know me well here, I moved in last year in my new home with my two children. I had been living with my parents since the beginning of the divorce proceedings so of course, when I moved in, I had basically nothing.

My parents offered to look around a few places, thrift stores and such, to help me fill up the place and this is the phone call I received from my mother (translated from French):

Mom :"I found you a chair"

"Okay"

Mom : "It's 80$. But you need it"

"I don't see how I would need an $ 80 chair..."

Mom: "You don't understand. There's a bard on it"

"A bard..? On the chair"

Mom: "Well exactly, on it yes. Actually... You sit on his face"

"..." Confused

So she sends me the following pictures

And of course I bought the Chair and of course, Twitter decided via poll that it would be names Asskier

Apparently, my dad was not impressed and he told my mom I wouldn't want it because we sat on his face.

Mom "Pretty sure it's the main reason Elias will want it. It's pretty gay"

Here's a more current picture of Asskier, living its best chair life in my living room

Near My lute and the Fireplace

[patroclusdefencesquad]

hi i'm jaskier and this is my husband geralt and my wife yennefer and my husband radovid and my wife vespula and my

[buttercupthebard]

I saw this ad, then I got lost... I'm sorry

[yourlocalspacelesbian]

I need somebody to sell a tuning fork necklace like Jaskier’s so I can feel like a slutty bard on the regular.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I gotta say I love how in the Witcher fandom everyone was like "Jaskier wouldn't smash his lute around as a weapon! that shit is expensive and valuable!" which is a very fair point.

And then we got Edgin Darvis literally wielding that thing like it's a baseball bat and whacking people left and right the entire film.

[pandalikeelf]

jaskier really went from the twinkiest bard on the continent to most slutty manliest buff bard ever

[rebrandedbard]

I just got my

✨~tax returns~✨

in direct deposit and have spent of it magnificently (i.e. like an ass) in a single week on the following indulgences:

3CDs - All Time Low 'Tell Me I'm Alive' Keane 'Perfect Symmetry' The 1975 'The 1975 (Deluxe Version)'

'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead' (2005) on DvD

A funky thrifted shirt which has a SHOCKINGLY open chest that I did not notice until washing. Slutty 80s dad vibes.

Several songs from itunes including the Witcher soundtrack finally

A super cool art print

A weaving heddle (and in about two second after posting this:)

The ugly ass fucking official merch Total Drama Island looking motherfucker Jaskier pin that I despise but so desperately need

Oops found a cooler one while googling the ugly one but my tax return was good so INDULGENCE! INDULGENCE!

.... okay I may have also found another pin and two stickers ... but it's only about a day's pay so I'm calling that fine! I haven't bought anything fun for myself in a couple months. I've paid a lot of surprise medical bills, I'm finally saving again, and I have EARNED this bit of loot.

Anyway. Retail therapy is real and even just the MUSIC has MASSIVELY improved this whole week. Can't wait to add my new pins to my bard board ✨

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

The Witcher S3 Ep 3: Reunion AKA 🎵Everyyyyybody Huuuuuurts🎵

I think the metaphor might be getting away from you a bit

I really like her outfit. It is my kind of look

I love that Jaskier calls him "Firefingers." It's very in line with Yen's (and my) "Firefucker." And asshole doesn't deserve a name.

Sorry did you say "a friend of your mother's"?!

Aww, the adorant whisper. Because it's once again proved that Geralt is a big old softie.

Wait, that's news? I assumed she had been for a while (tbh I thought the ditching Geralt was to protect him from something or someone that was going to kill her)

So someone else did exactly what the two information brokers said Geralt should, with added mind altering...was the suggestion meant to be a tip off, since they knew he wouldn't take it in the first place?

I really like Philippa's outfit for this meeting, and the fact that it is very clearly Not Matching the general Redanian aesthetic. The costume department this season is really Killing It. (Interestingly, it is matching, or at least similar to Jaskier's...)

He does seem stressed. His poor head is going to explode. I wonder whose fault that is?

Radovid, baby, that's not a very good attempt at hiding.

Oh it was on purpose for The Drama™ I love that

This is quite the Reason You Suck speech, Yennefer. Are you actually trying to get back into the Brotherhood's, or Tissaia's good graces at all? Part of me hopes not, honestly

Oh 💔 I mean, we knew that. But the look on Yen's face hearing it out loud...

Fabio, you're there to chaperone a teenage girl at a market, not barker like a hotdog on a street corner 🙄

How did that secret get out? Was it Yennefer? I bet it was Yennefer

I like that the captions specify it's to the tune of The Wild Rover. Otherwise I'd have heard it and gone nuts. (That song was the bane of my existence last fall.)

Istredd, my friend. You're looking Rough. But it...kinda works for you?

That's. Not ideal...

Poor General Kicked-Puppy, I'm glad he gets an invite home, even though home is not a good place...

"Prove it" doesn't sound good. There's an implied threat in "prove it"

Always with the leaning, Jaskier (and with the unbuttoned vest, it's peak casual yet slutty or maybe that's just the bard wearing it)

He's not wrong but also I hate him for saying it. I don't like that.

I think this might be the longest and most frank conversation these two have ever had. 10/10 relationship growth

Well shit. Stregobitch? Or Vilgefortz?

Uh. What?

Double "well shit". Or hopefully just almost. But I have a bad feeling about Anika's fate...

I love Ciri just strolling in behind the barker's back without paying or being challenged

Who are these two? They feel important

Go Fabio!

Can we form a secondary party of these youngins? I think I like them. And maybe recruit Dara back, eventually. (That would basically just be your average D&D party but that's not a negative)

Dammit Sabrina. Why are you a bitch? Didn't Yennefer almost die saving your fucking life from Nilfgaard?

My babies! Stop hurting each other! You both need hugs, stat!

Oh look, and now Geralt's hurting too.

Oh shit. I didn't expect the Queen to die. That's a ballsy move Philippa. But a solid way to make sure your king doesn't ever trust Nilfgaard, if it works.

Was Dijkstra in on it though? I'm not sure...

Radovid. Do NOT call a sneaky murdering bastard out on being a sneaky murdering bastard WHILE YOU ARE ALONE IN A ROOM WITH HIM! I swear to god, if you get yourself killed...(I know it doesn't happen yet, but that doesn't mean it won't later)

I don't like that almost-smile from Firefucker. Whatever his demand is, it isn't going to be fun...

Good to see Francesca getting back to her roots (and doting husband Filavandrel is pretty nice) but I have the uncomfortable feeling she'll get her wish...

You seem on edge Cahir. What are you about to do?

Well, rip. I was just starting to like that guy. But why?

Running away, completely alone. Seems like a bad plan even for Ciri, so I'm going to guess this is a dream...

Eredin? Why do I know that name? [Oh, cus I actually watched Blood Origin. I didn't think I retained anyone's name, but I guess I did]

Is Ciri's appearance and her being "death itself" a play on the whole "death came riding on a pale horse" or whatever it is? Or coincidence?

[this-is-not-a-slow-burn]

as much as I absolutely adore the fuck out of silly soft romantic slutty poet bard Jaskier, Dragon!Jaskier is so gooooood.

[thedemonofcat]

Geralt entry: Jaskier keeps trying to lure me into bed with him. Could the Bard be part succubs.

(Jaskier is very horny and let’s be honest kind of slutty)

At the very start of there travels together, Geralt had some trust issues and couldn't wrap his mind around Jaskier genuinely being nice to him. Geralt assumed that Jaskier was plotting something nefarious.

Geralt’s Journal entry: Jaskier had bought me a tart. I fear he is attempting to poison me.

[elythegardeningbard]

Reblog if you want to sit on a bard's face

[patroclusdefencesquad]

i have not read the books and i have no idea where jaskier is in regards to the whole thanedd thing but considering valdo marx seems to be the bard i hope we just get jaskier sitting on radovid's lap for the entire ball. looking slutty. feeding him grapes. i hope geralt and yennefer walk in and it's like the iasip meme of two people seeing each other across a restaurant

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 106

Geralt has a hobby he only allows himself to partake in during the winter, alone in his room. Everyone knows Geralt sketches and scribbles monsters, beasts, and relics alike in his journal, but his secret is he also sketches down Jaskier. Jaskier's best poses, and outfits, and the best scenery he stood in front of. When winter comes, Geralt goes through and picks the very best one to turn into a full-fledged painting, of which he'll hang in his room with the others from all the years before. When he's lonely and sad, he simply turns to the evidence that the world is worth it all. Happy, sunny, sweet Jaskier. Stupid, reckless, loud, noisy, annoying, slutty Jaskier. He wouldn't have him any other way. He always paints him smiling, surrounded by flowers and lush foliage. Scenic views and beautiful lighting, all the better to compliment the bard's beauties. All is well until Lambert comes in one day and laughs. "Whoa. When you said you doodled, I didn't know it was to make a shrine for your bard!" "Lambert, he's not my bard." "You have like a dozen paintings of him smiling at you with half-lidded eyes! Is this how you get off at night?" "LAMBERT" "Sorry, you're right, don't tell me, I don't wanna know. Even though I can guess pretty easily-" "Just fuck off!" "Fine! Jeez.. So twitchy." This small event means nothing to Geralt. It's meaningless. Or at least it was. Until he and Jaskier bump into Lambert in the summer, and Lambert playfully elbows Jaskier in the side, and says to "Ask loverboy about his art collection!" Jaskier cocks an eyebrow and turns to Geralt with confusion, and if Geralt wasn't currently thinking about how to put his brother's head on a pike, he might've been tempted to draw the bard's lovely expression.

[leclerqued]

what made me decide towards watching it:

beautiful bi-panic cast (my lover JASKIER IS CANON BISEXUAL??? Geralt is handsome and handsomer??? Yennefer and Ciri are GORGEOUS!)

OST (Freya Allan can sing???! new Joey Batey masterpieces!? "All is not as it seems" banger???!)

creators' gifs on tumblr (Y'ALL COULD CONVINCE ME TO WATCH AN INDIAN TELENOVELA), so there we go, my faves so far:

1. This masterpiece from the super talented @yenvengerberg 2. Yennefer and the beautiful coloring by @yennefer 3. The purple beauty of Yennefer of Vengerberg (my gayness is showing), thanks @witchersdaily for this!!! 4. More Yen & gorgeous coloring (can you blame me?) by @witchyen 5. Yennefer and the apple by @yenneferblog 6. Jaskier the bisexual bard by @katherineebishop 7. The Sandpiper Jaskier by @lamberts 8. Slutty Jaskier by @feelsforsterek

These are just a few, but these creators make so many gorgeous gifsets I can't even list enough of them!! And ofc there's other great creators whom I'll add to this list later (if I remember, but I send y'all the biggest hugs!!) Go take a look and REBLOG.

okay FINE, I'll watch the witcher season 3

[tinyphantomsalad]

I did a drabble

okay it’s pretty damn long so get ready but I wrote this ages ago and c a n n o t just leave it

Word Count: 3,700

Rated: G

Fandom: The Witcher

It’s under the cut so you don’t have to scroll 10 minutes

Riptide

Yes i know just go with it.

The summer breeze was warm and the clouds were only just beginning to form, waking up the earth with a soft touch on the cheek and a warm kiss on the head. Jaskier strummed along to the chirps of the morning songbirds, smugly ignoring Geralt’s glare.

“Keep looking at me like that and your eyes’ll go funny” Jaskier said, rolling his eyes and focusing on the smell of the wildflowers in the meadow and the growing warmth in his chest from being on the road again.

“Hm.” Geralt replied, brow raised, “you’re not a morning person,”

“bullshit!” Jaskier smirked, “I’m always a delight in the morning!”

The Witcher’s eyes widened comically, “you nearly stabbed me last time I woke you up to leave early,”

“That was your own fault-“ he scoffed “I was having a lovely dream at that time and you interrupted it.”

Geralt let a small laugh slip and Jaskier joined in, continuing his little melody as they walked through the field.

Geralt had found him after the mountain and much to Jaskier’s indignation the Witcher had found him and actually apologised. He hadn’t forgiven him easily but when Geralt was leaving the following morning he’d wordlessly packed his things and started travelling with the man once more. Slowly but surely they’d fallen into old patterns, and Jaskier couldn’t find it in himself to be angry anymore.

“Where are we going again?” Jaskier asked, 

“There’s a town not far from here.” Geralt replied, rifling through his satchel and producing a flier- Jaskier skimmed it- Witcher needed- Spider-like demon- plenty of coin- the usual.

“You’re staying at the inn this time.” Geralt said, not looking at the bard. Jaskier huffed, picked up his pace and spinned to face Geralt. 

The tall grass parted and swayed in the growing wind, making his white hair blow in the way you’d think he’d put a spell on it to always look so fabulous. 

“Come on Geralt! I need new material, new inspiration to give to the people of the Continent.” He whirled around, still gripping onto is ever precious lute and letting himself punctuate every sentence with a sudden movement. 

“Our adventures are the stuff of legend!” He continued, not caring for the ever-deepening crease in Geralt’s brow. “I once met a fortune teller when i was a kid- told me I’d make a great many impacts on people's lives, and that my magic was tucked away inside my voice… don't know where the magic bit came from but then again she did tell me I’d lose my head one day-”

“I guess she got that part right then.” Geralt quipped, raising an eyebrow, 

Jaskier spluttered, face scrunching in indignation, “you wound me! Geralt of Rivia I had never thought you could hurt me in such a way!” Jaskier put the back of his hand to his head, feigning offence.

Geralt would deny it to the day he died that he let a chuckle slip.

“I’ll see you’re punished for that,” Jaskier sniffed with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Geralt groaned. 

Jaskier began to strum a tune, one he hadn’t since he first composed it… it was new and he didn’t really think it was worth much. But he was annoying Geralt and that’s all that he needed it for.

“I was scared of dentists and the dark

I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations

Oh, all my friends are turning green

You're the magician's assistant in their dreams~”

His voice carried out over the meadow that stretched for miles around them, Jaskier kept fast paced with his song, energy building up inside him.

“Oh

Oh and they come unstuck~

Lady, running down to the riptide

Taken away to the dark side

I wanna be your left hand man

I love you when you're singing that song and

I got a lump in my throat 'cause

You're gonna sing the words wrong~”

He threw a wink to Geralt, letting the imaginary beat guide him through the lyrics that don’t really make sense but tell a story he can’t explain. He didn’t know what he was thinking when he wrote it… well, maybe he did, casting a glance to his muse- but those feelings weren’t something he wanted to revisit right now.

He carried on singing the whole way through the field, skipping and throwing his arms where he thought appropriate (which was everywhere). He let out a triumphant squeal when he caught Geralt swaying along to it-

“YOU DID!”

“I did not,” he growled back, sitting stock still on top of Roach, who neighed in agreement.

Jaskier’s smile hurt his cheeks, holding his lute over his head, “I CLAIM THIS INSTRUMENT TO HOLD THE MOST POWERFUL MAGIC IN ALL THE CONTINENT!” He cried, “THIS IS THE ONLY INSTRUMENT TO EVER MAKE THE GREAT WHITE WOLF, GERALT OF RIVIA, WITCHER AND BUTCHER OF BLAVIKEN- TO DO A JIG!”

“It was not a jig- I do not fucking jig, Jaskier!” Geralt shook his head and growled as the hyperactive bard pranced around the field ahead of him, laughing like a drunk in the wee hours of the morning. 

Jaskier finally calmed down as it reached midday. The warm air beginning to stick to them. They walked at the side of a small river, a signpost pointing them to the little town with the Kikimora problem.

“I haven’t heard that song before,” Geralt asked suddenly, he looked down at his companion who didn’t return his gaze,

“It’s new, I wrote it a little after we started travelling together again. I mean- I suppose it’s not that new considering that was six months ago but I guess since I’ve never performed it-”

“You should sing it tonight.” Geralt said, “no- don’t look at me like tha- Jaskier!”

It was too late. 

Jaskier squealed.

“YOU LIKE IT!”

“Hm.”

“Oh shush,” Jaskier smiled, “You big softie.”

“Hm.”

Jaskier moved closer to Roach and patted her neck as they walked, his lute bouncing on his shoulder; he knew he was being insufferable- but that was Geralt’s fault for waking him up at sparrow fart to get going and he was in too good a mood to be grumpy all day. 

The road they were going down was quiet, Jaskier watched as a rabbit flew in front of them and in his enthrallment nearly bumped into Roach who whipped him with her tail, 

“Not nice- bad horse, no apples.” Jaskier grumbled. Roach snuffed in reply as they carried on.

“I need a bath,” Jaskier leaned towards Geralt and gave a sniff before gagging, “and so do you, Gods Geralt, you stink of onions,”

Geralt scowled at him, “I thought you said I smelled like death and destiny or whatever the fuck that was,” he grumbled,

Jaskier rubbed his eyes and coughed for dramatic effect, “nope, definitely onions-ow!”

Geralt suppressed a smirk and tucked his leather glove back into his bag.

:::

It was nearing early evening when they reached the town, it was smaller than what Geralt had originally thought- more a hamlet to be completely honest. The river they had been travelling next to turned into a muddy swamp. 

The streets were dirty and there were very few people out, the buildings sagged to one side looking as though a good shove would be enough to topple them completely. But still, there was a shoddy inn on the end of a row of lopsided huts with a stable next to it for Roach.

Geralt pretended to listen to whatever Jaskier was saying about the state of his eighth favourite doublet -A stain, Geralt- this is madness, utter madness- while handing his beloved mare to the shit-scared stable boy that looked up at him with wide, dull blue eyes.

They weren’t as blue as Jaskier’s, more faded, like old stained glass- Jaskier’s were brighter… more alive. 

Geralt shook the thought from his head and stepped into the dim light of the inn. All conversation ceased as everyone caught sight of the Witcher, their smiles flicking and the stench of fear spiking in the air. No matter how hard anyone tried they would never forget what he was. A mutant and a monster. That didn’t matter, he was used to this and he was there to do a job and get out as quickly and as quietly as possible.

Jaskier had other plans.

The man was like a walking ball of talking and singing and sunshine. Which when paired with alcohol was a very dangerous mix. Geralt tried not to hit his head against the bar as Jaskier walked in, lute in hand, wildflower in his hair and greet everyone in the tavern as if they were old friends. 

“Ladies, gentleman, people of…” he trailed off, a pink tinge forming on his cheeks- there was a bit of an awkward silence while the poor man struggled, eventually giving up and diving into Toss a Coin to Your Witcher. Geralt resisted the urge to smile as a few of the patrons tapped along or flicked a few coins in his direction. 

Jaskier winked at him from across the room that said Don’t wait up.

Geralt turned to the barkeep, who eyed him warily, “ale. And a room” He dumped the last of their coin on the table for two days.

The man, who was only a few inches shorter than Geralt himself with a bushy brown beard and polished head, pushed him a full mug before clearing his throat.

“If you’re looking for a… job…Kal-” he pointed to a sallow man sitting in the corner, head buried in his flask. “His daughter was taken by something in the swamps…”

The man didn’t give any other information- instead taking the opportunity to offer up as little information as possible and getting away as quickly as he could. Typical.  Geralt didn’t really know why humans shied away from him- maybe having something to do with being a mutated monster that could hogtie and castrate them in thirty seconds flat on a bad day. Yeah, maybe that.

Geralt twisted in his seat, trying his best not to laugh as Jaskier jumped up on an unoccupied table and played conductor as a rising corus of slightly drunk patrons. The sun was setting outside the window, casting a gold glow behind the bard’s face, catching him in his element- all rosy cheeks and bright eyes.

It hadn’t escaped Geralt’s notice that Jaskier was attractive, anyone with eyes could see that. But when he was like this, it made Geralt’s stone heart do funny little things in his chest. Fucking Jaskier, making him feel things. 

When he’d been with Yennefer it was always too much. Too much fight, too much secrecy. She was a force to be reckoned with on her own and wanted to keep it that way, and then he went and made that fucking wish and all hope for any romance had been thrown out the window. After he’d apologised to Jaskier he’d felt more comfortable than he ever had with Yen in their relationship.�� 

It didn’t help that Jaskier and Yen had somehow bonded over the incident on the mountain- if anything it made him worry more, when they were fighting it was them against each other, but now they teamed up against him.

“I just wanna, I just wanna know

If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay

I just gotta, I just gotta know

I can't have it, I can't have it any other way

I swear she's destined for the screen

Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen, oh~”

Jaskier’s voice flitted over the crowd like a sparrow in the early morning. His new song was nice, it bounced and was usually upbeat. It almost had Geralt tapping his foot. Almost. 

A mug of ale flies across the room and the alarmed twang of Jaskier’s lute causes Geralt’s hand to fly to his sword. Jaskier’s face went pale as an enraged cry came from the other end of the tavern and he practically leaps from the table to hide behind Geralt’s back. 

“BARD!” A pot-bellied man burst forward from a crowd of patrons, his robes disheveled from pushing past the crow that had formed.

“Geralt- old friend,” Jaskier mumbled in his ear, sending little tingles down his sp- nope. “Do me a favour and fucking help me.”

The old man advanced on them, shaking a pudgy sausage finger and practically convulsing with rage, Geralt’s hand didn’t leave its spot on his sword,

“I’ve told you once before that I do not play bodyguard.”

“Bullshit Geralt- oh dear gods save me.”

“I know you!” The pug-faced man snarled, eyes not having left the trembling bard, “you- you- defiled my wife! And- and my son!”

“Hm.” Was all Geralt replied, feeling the way Jaskier practically molded himself against the witcher’s back in order to peek over his shoulder, gripping onto his lute for dear life. The man bared his yellowing teeth in an attempt to look intimidating. The crows that had been cheering Jaskier on now formed around them, all waiting to see the great White Wolf lash out at this poor unfortunate soul that Jaskier had wronged by being a horny dumbass.

There was a beat of silence before the man reached around and snatched Jaskier’s beloved lute out of his hands. Promptly snapping it in two.

The bard let out a strangled cry. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Geralt slowly stepped to the side, as calmly as he would when stalking a deer. 

There were times in their long partnership, where Geralt had learned not to get involved. There were three rules:

One: Never Wake Jaskier Before Dawn. 

Two: Never Let Jaskier Have More Than Four Pints of Ale. 

Three: Don't mess With Jaskier’s Lute. 

Jaskier’s relationship with his lute would rival that of himself and Roach.

They were so getting kicked out of this town.

With a satisfying crunch the man stumbled back with blood gushing from his nose.

“Jaskier-” He started in some attempt to quell his anger, the bard didn’t listen. Jaskier grabbed at his clothes and with one swift sent him doubling over. Geralt could smell the adrenaline rising in the room. Onlookers starved of any entertainment and eager to watch. 

Another drink went flying and knocked a young man round the head- how that was relevant Geralt would never know. Ensuing a blind fist fight with Jaskier in the middle. Several tables toppled over and a cacophony of shouts suffocated the bar.

 Geralt pressed himself back into the shadows. Looking out for the tornado of periwinkle blue in an attempt to make sure the fucking idiot didn’t get himself killed. 

“Suck on that!” Jaskier’s voice cut through the rest, he sent another blow to the scorned man, a few cuts gracing his lip and forehead. “Just like your fucking son did!” 

Geralt growled and stepped out of the shadows, drawing his sword and stalking towards the bard. The noise died down almost immediately, everyone stopping in their tracks at the sight of a very angry Witcher.

“Hm.” Geralt glowered at the crowd, “Go home. We are here to complete contracts. Not get into petty fights.” He threw a pointed look at Jaskier.

Geralt turned to the man that had a disgusting crust of drying blood on his mouth and broken nose, “the bard will surely compensate you by never returning to this town once our business here is complete. And Jaskier you horny little bastard-” he scowled at him, “will avoid this place like the plague. I will not be bailing you out anymore.”

Jaskier grumbled and nodded. The man huffed and stalked out of the inn. The patrons slowly went back to their tables and righted themselves. However the stench of fear still hung heavy in the air. The innkeeper threw him a grateful look as Geralt grabbed Jaskier by the neck and dragged him up to their room.

:::

“Now now Geralt I’m sure you- Oh dear Gods man- what are- Geralt!” Jaskier was helpless against the Witcher’s manhandling. Geralt just growled. It’s all he ever did. Jaskier cradled his lute, oh his darling, beautiful lute. He was dragged up the stairs like a scolded child, pouting and all.

“You are an idiot.”

Jaskier let out a choked sob “Oh my darling girl… you were so young.”

“Jaskier.”

“I’ll dedicate a ballad to you my love-“

“Jaskier!” 

“One that will sing through the echoes of time and be etched into the walls of hist-”

“JASKIER!” 

“Fuck sake Geralt let a man grieve.”

Geralt grumbled and went to the adjoining washroom to get a wet rag. Jaskier trailed his fingers over the snapped neck of his instrument, his head was sore from being hit, and his knuckles were no better.

“You look terrible.” Geralt said gruffly from the washroom doorway

Jaskier scowled and stuck out his bottom lip, albeit he was being a little childish but that was merited considering he was going through a grievous loss. 

“And you look like royalty do you?” 

“Hm.” Geralt walks over and for a moment Jaskier thinks that Geralt is going to tend to his wounds like in those terribly written stories he used to catch his sister reading. 

Instead he gets a face full of dirty wet rag.

Fucking Witchers.

The room was nicer than the rest of the inn, Jaskier guessed the innkeeper had given them his own room- which he was not complaining about in the slightest. Geralt had made a nice little nest for himself by the fire and was cleaning his weapons with the whetstone he kept in his satchel of mysterious Witcher things that he never let Jaskier look inside. 

It was too quiet without his lute. She was like his sword, his only weapon in a cruel world full of midnight creatures that crept into the minds of men. The last time he had been without a lute was after he’d left home, and that had been in an attempt to hide himself behind a persona. Said persona turned out to be a lot more likeable than who he used to be, so he kept it, let the little parts of himself bleed into this new man through his music- then he met Geralt and… well he found he didn’t think about his past as much as he used to. Not when he was travelling with him.

So he filled the space with mindless chatter. 

“We have to go into the market tomorrow- did you see it, Geralt? I suppose I’ll find a new lute. Maybe even paint it this time… I doubt that it’ll ever be as good to replace my dear sweet love… but she would want me to move on I suppose.” He gave a fake sniff, lying back on the bed and admiring the man by the firelight. It had gotten dark and the fire created a halo around Geralt, making him look angelic.

“Are all Witchers like you?” Jaskier asked absentmindedly,

“Some have quieter companions.” Geralt said, not looking up from his task.

“Yeah well it must suck to be them.” He retorted, catching that little smirk Geralt sent his way. “You’ve told me very little about what your life was like before we met…”

Geralt just grunted in response. Jaskier rolled his eyes,

“Alright then, since you’re clearly not in the mood for sparkling conversation- how about I ask you five questions?”

“What?”

Jaskier bounced off the bed, getting giddy because oh ho ho, this is going to be fun. He settled himself next to Geralt, propping up a pillow on the Witcher’s side and leaning with his back on it. The closeness was intoxicating and it didn’t help the fact that he was practically drooling over the man’s jawline.

“Five questions,” he hummed, “I ask you five questions and you have to answer them honestly.”

Geralt quirked an eyebrow, Jaskier had learnt that this meant I got that, what the fuck in Geralt language.

“You get to ask me five questions too!”

“Hm.”

“oh come on-“ Jaskier looked up at the man, putting on his very best puppy dog face.

“Fine…” Geralt caved in quickly, setting his sword aside to pay attention to the practically-bouncing-off-the-walls bard next to him. “five questions and then I'm going to sleep.” 

Jaskier pursed his lips, looking hard at Geralt, 

“What’s your favourite colour?” He asked,

“That’s really your first question?” Geralt chuckled, stoking the fire. Jaskier snorted,

“obviously, one can’t operate as your best friend in the whole wide world without knowing your favourite colour.”

“Blue.” He answered simply,

Jaskier moved down a little, getting more comfortable as he nestled against Geralt’s side. “Is your hair naturally white?”

A shadow passed over Geralt’s face at that, Jaskier cringed at the thought of bringing up bad memories at such a pleasant time,

“No…” the Witcher starts slowly, “my hair was shorter... and dark brown before my training at Kaer Morhen- it changed during the trials.”

A warmth spread through Jaskier’s chest as he craned his neck to look into the warm golden eyes of his companion. Geralt was usually a wall of no emotion, forcing Jaskier to chisel away until he got some semblance of feelings out of him. But right now he could see the raw vulnerability racing through his mind. 

The moment quickly passed when Geralt coughed and looked away, back into the firelight.

Jaskier composed himself, “I’m not going to ask you your favourite animal-“

“Roach.”

Jaskier chuckled, nudging Geralt with his head, “I think the whole continent knows that.”

The questions continued like that, Jaskier delving deeper into his strange Witcher’s psyche. Geralt refused to answer a few and Jaskier could see the way his jaw twitched and his brow creased in sadness or pain, especially when he asked if he’d had a travelling companion before Jaskier himself. Geralt seemed to relax a little- a luxury that they hadn’t been awarded since they’d left Ciri with Yennefer to hone her magical gifts. Jaskier could easily see that Geralt still had feelings for her, and he couldn’t really blame him; still, it hurt knowing he’d dug himself in a hole twenty years ago and adamantly refused to come back out.

[cherryjuicegf]

so i was looking at jaskier's trailer bit and

are we not gonna talk about how Low his shirt and vest are buttoned??