#Jacob Wren

[jacobwren]

There is nothing to be done and everything left to do.

[lucybellwood]

[rebouks]

A lil glimpse into the future.. 👀

[wallflowers-at-worlds-end]

WALLFLOWERS AT WORLDS END

— " OH IM SO SORRY. YOU LOOKED AWFULLY DEAD TO ME. "

NAVIGATION :

— INTRODUCTION

— TABLE OF CONTENTS

→ LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN PAGE

→ LINK TO WATTPAD REVISION

[westofessos]

I deeply apologize for the person I’m about to become this week with both the Ahsoka premiere and All In. The fact that they’re the same week was made to kill me, I know it.

Anyone as excited as I am for both and also unable to contain it?

[spctlights]

–– open starter ; a hotel room ’ 5pm.

wren  adored  days  like  these.  event  days  were  hectic  ,  full  of  excitement  and  unbelievably  busy.  but  gosh  ,  did  they  feel proud  when  their  client  looked  absolutely  stunning  ,  hair  done  ,  make-up  impeccable.  wren  took  a  few  steps  back  and  admired  their  handiwork,  cocking  their  head  from  one  side  to  the other  ,  gently  moving  the  other  40  degrees  to  check  how  they  looked  in  the  different  lighting  before  smiling.  "  i  think you're  all  done.  what  do  you  think?  "  they  asked  ,  their chest  tightening  slightly.  they  knew  they  had  done  a  good  job  ,  but  there  was  still  the  anxiety  of  not  knowing  how  the client  would  react.

[jacobwren]

Reviews are in:

“This is a deeply moving, challenging novel, and certainly very prescient. What is our obligation to others, particularly those in war-torn countries? How are we implicated through the tangled threads of history? Wren has written an anti-war novel, but it’s far more nuanced and unclear than I think we’d like to believe that the position of anti-war is. … A perfectly positioned novel for the current historical moment.” – Alison Manley, The Miramichi Reader

“No matter where your political beliefs fall, Jacob Wren’s new novel demands to be read for its poignant and propulsive nature. And I will double down on Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim being one of the best pieces of Canadian Literature this year. Just don’t let the prize lists fool you. You’re smarter than that.” – Adam Ferris

“In Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim, Jacob Wren has written a courageous, alarming and utterly original work of fiction. The ethical conundrums it addresses are myriad and relevant, and while it offers no solutions, it is relentless in its exposure of unflattering human truths that many of us, given a choice, would prefer to avoid.” – Ian Colford, The Seaboard Review

“A Jacob Wren novel is known for several things: narrators undergoing neurotic self-interrogation, a consideration of the gap between theory and practice, and a certain metafictional flair when it comes to signalling the work’s own existence as a radical text. All of these authorial trademarks are sent into overdrive in Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim, Wren’s introspective protest novel about the role that doubt plays in any political awakening.”  – Jean Marc Ah-Sen, Quill & Quire  

“Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim is an anti-war novel that reminds us of our complicity in global conflicts, while offering a glimpse of the hope that drives resistance.” – Ariane Fournier, Maisonneuve

“Jacob Wren’s latest scintillating work of literary fiction, Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim, is a book in revolt. Wren crafts a bold and unsettling narrative with the kind of clarity to explore ethical dilemmas that are both numerous and timely.” – Samuel Wise, Montreal Guardian

[rebouks]

Spooky Day at the Finch's.. 🎃👻

[crowdeerdire]

Meet Wren Warwick! I love, love, LOVE Keyframes Spring Demo! PLUS having them release a template to make something for your own MC... Chef kiss! But gosh this took me so long to do... Extra fun facts below the cut!

Comes from a family of lawyers, so felt like she had to become a lawyer in some way

If asked she what she would rather do, she will avoid the topic unless she is close with you (she really wants to become a Botanist, thus the biology minor/plant biology minor)

She has always been a people pleasure and bent to everyone elses will and despite being aware of that, she finds it hard to stop. So this year! She will try to do things for herself!

pretty good cook and likes to learn about foraging so she can gather ingredients

might be a bit frugal lol

people have said she was born with two left feet... she just doesn't have spacial awareness...

Can see alright without her glasses - Mostly needs them for seeing things from afar (near sighted)

Fun fact about her necklace! It's not really one but a long string used for making string tricks like Jacob Ladder, Kitty Whiskers and other things. She would show off what she knows but honestly she forgets she's wearing it 90% of the time

very shy and timid at first, but once she opens up to you she's a frickin weirdo

loves video games, especially cozy farming games, simulation games and visual novels :)

5'3'' in height

From the west coast of Canada. Choose this school because it was beautiful and it got her as far away from her family as possible without going across the ocean

Not the greatest relationship with her family :)))) Mainly her mother :))))

[wallflowers-at-worlds-end]

" As much as I'd love to say I'm someone whose fully capable of surviving an apocalypse alone. That would be a HUGE LIE. I. CANNOT. Survive this phenomenon alone, but while I was unfortunate enough to start off on my own, I was lucky enough to come across the people I'd spend the entirety of this world ending event with. " ⇁ D.R.T

WALLFLOWERS AT WORLDS END :

— Depicts the story of an early teen enduring the kickstart of an apocalypse in Canada, aiming to locate his family and surprisingly coming across the closest thing to that.

SETTING :

— Takes place in early 2000s, Pre-apocalyptic and mid apocalyptic circumstances

TAGS :

— Zombie apocalypse, cannibalism, illegal activity, drunk driving, murder, manslaughter, blood, violence, gore, mutilation, dismemberment, decapitation, implosion, major character injury, body modifications, body horror, underage drinking, underage smoking, drug use, implied/referenced overdose attempt, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced infidelity, psychological torture, physical torture, minor character death, teenagers, teenagers being stupid, teenagers being teenagers, angst, slowburn, fluff, found families, platonic physical affection, lgbtq, original story - freeform, original characters

REGULATIONS :

- Avoid reposting the story without credits, especially if it's another app, please do not claim this as yours . I've worked hard on creating the very base of this book.

- Please at all costs avoid sexualizing the underage characters which involve most if not all of the main cast, this includes but is not limited to inappropriate artworks, nsfw fanfictions, explicit shipping, etcetera.

- Refrain from shipping the characters without considering what I am about to express as the author, forcing characters together out of the canon and confirmed isn't something I wish to occur, though I accept it to be inevitable. Keep in mind that the characters are mirrors to real life people that I, personally know, and I hope for you to respect my wishes, and them as well.

- Awfully specific however blatantly shaming or mocking my story is unacceptable, especially if it involves the label cringe, I dont know, it just seems quite unecessary to single out 'abnormal' behavior in teens. Just, why? No one asked you to do it, and I'm certainly not asking you to, so don't go in my inbox/notes just to say something about a character being weird.

- I feel as if these rules won't cover everything, so I'm going to be updating this in the middle of creating the story.

.... WALLFLOWERS AT WORLDS END

[frankendykez]

What r ur oc stories about?

OMG HIHI I NEVER HAD SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF MY CURRENT FRIENDS ACTUALLY ASK BEFORE UMMMM OKAY SO. i have 3! main oc stories that i Really care about at the moment but im Deeply fixated on mainly 1 of them but im gonna start with the one ive been liek "promoting" the most in a sense!! under read more cuz im gonna try to exlain all three of them bless. sorry if i seem overly passionate oops i was TRYING to summarise im sorry its so long u rlly dont Have to read All of it

Forgotten Man's Symphony

his (louis manoir) character is basically a spin off from a character mentioned in the novel frankensetin exactly (1) time by name in elizabeth's letter and by far he is the most organised oc of mine cuz we do actually have a clean, understandable summary doc (thought it is a tad bit outdated but its okay). shes like the most Normal narrative-wise i suppose so i'm not exactly sure on how to explain the plot of forgotten man's symphony it's just like??? him ruining his life in front of the reader and then #Healing?? i guess?? the story is an epistolary that starts with louis' Suicide Letter. so like. yeah. BUT!! i suppose i would say his story very much concerns the concept of like identity (including gender and such she would be considred either transfemme/bigender by the modern world but also idfk cuz i made her complicated and confusing on purpose) and also the lack thereof + the negative impact that comes with trying so hard to fit into the societal norms and what people Want you to be but you just Can't be, cutting away bits of yourself to fit through some sort of hole representing the perfect version of you until theres nothing left of Who You Are expect a palatable and small version yk?? and the the endless pursuit of wanting to be loved that leads yourself to changing and changing for people who just wont care or love you for realsies + @rosaniruby 's words "making it even like that so its not YOU who is loving and being loved but the dim visage of a version of you that fits the picture of what society loves; that it's not a love between individuals, it's the love for a society that cannot ever love anything because it was made to hate. and who believes that portrayal of love will not find it and forever be stuck. smth like society loves what it deems as perfect and hates the imperfect, since perfect doesn't exist it can only do the second one. and louis wanted to love perfect victor, hated his own imperfect self. but the perfect victor doesnt exists, and neither does any version of louis."

i like her he's great. sorry if that was less telling u WHAT his story is and more like Explaining the "themes" as theyre called of the story but idrk how to describe nromal stuff so TAKE WHAT U CAN GET!!! anyways,

Domus Carnis: The Transmutation of Guinevere Manor

idk if you're aware but i have a hyperfix on architectural horror and i DON'T MEAN SCARY GHOSTS AND SERIAL ILLERS IN AN ABANDONED HOUSE I MEAN HAUNTED HOUSES THAT ARE ALIVE THAT IS A METAPHOR FOR PTSD FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ETC ETC!! this story By making it started my whole obsession with the House it's crazy... scary even.. (i recommend you watch jacob geller's video essay about houses) i really do like domus carnis but it's. Messy to say the least. i do feel as if i ought to change the time period it's set in to avoid talking about the wars going on in the time period i accidentally set it in without realising but im procrastinating on that rn. it was Suppose to be late 1800s to early 1900s..

in a few simple words: flesh-and-bone made lesbian sex house. does that get your attention yet. bless

domus carnis (which literally means flesh house in latin or something) will be written in the POV of a 40ish year old widowed woman by the name of harriet wren's diary entries, occasionally switching to the POV of her 20-something year old godson percival who is like old timey jake paul and hes like either a journalistt or a radio host depending if i choose to change the time period or not. we follow them after harriet's husband dies of whatever and they find out he has a large property in a foreign country of which they had not known of prior

somewhere in germany there is a house of ex-aristocrats that no longer live there that is Alive. the House becomes alive because it is in a sense "possesed" (not haunted) the ghost of kathryna von guinevere who was the last one to die in the house, who, in life, was incredibly obsessed with The House for reasons that i fear are too long to explain without boring you and going into info pre-story?? anyways, when she "posseses" the house, the materials of the house shift to flesh, blood and bone because it Materially becomes her body. now, it would be hard to accurately label what represents what body part, because it's all strangely jumbled up and isn't like really human anatomy either cuz kathryna Can in fact see inside herself?? anyways whatever. now, the house is now both her body AND her mind. i have taken the phrase "haunted by memories/trauma" and turned it literal. the house IS haunted, but most of the ghosts aren't ghosts, theyre mostly all manifestation of Memory from her life because she actively is replaying the speech and actions of other people IN her mind to process the (typically traumatic) events of which she's seen or experienced. the ghosts CANNOT do as they please because they only exist at all Due to kathryna remembering them in these specific scenes. the hauntings include scenes of people, sounds, and shadows. unless the "scene" has a mirror, you cannot see kathy directly because you are witnessin things through HER eyes, which makes memories from wee childhood interesting because im wondering if i should make the "people" seem wayy bigger than the viewer if stuff is replayed from childhood..

i really like the fact that a lot of this is based on memory because it opens a lot of doors to me when it comes to the appearance of hauntings. my friend showed me this video depicting neurons forgetting how a face looks like, and i feel as if i could use that in the story because well, realistically kathy isnt going to have a Pristine memory cuz she Was just a human before, not to mention the fact shes already suppose to have issues on facial recognition/rememberance (my friend with these sisues suggetsed htis). the alteration of the ghosts' bodies could be fucked with even more if i try to make use and research into the way that people (mostly children) can in fact like.... change the image of something traumatic in their brain and make it less scary bc the brain is trying to protect them? yeah. AND ALSO the fact that a lot of people forgets certain aspects of their trauma due to their brain trying to protect them as well but still have this feeling of Unease when it comes o specific things that they cant explain, i could incorporate this feeling in certain areas of the House, the strange uneasiness. i experience that myself so i hope ill portray it right!!

i Think that's it?? at least that should be the bare bones of the story... i have a pin board tho if u want to check it out!!

The Epinicium

THIS is the stupid fucking thnag thats ruining my entire life rn. i love it i hate it whagever man. THIS ONE ill keep short and simple because im too fucking mentally ill about it to explain in depth without being asked questions

so basically its fantasy world but not like. Completely new high fantasy i very loosely based the countries off of like real countries and stuff bc lazy as shite so its like mid fantasy maybe HOWEVER

basically its set in this world where theres a shit ton of religions and gods and shit and theres three categories of religions (the world is veyr uhnm. Categorical idk): earth, science and the arts. basically the arts religions are the majority and the gods of those religions are called the muses so thats what i'll be calling them from now on. the basic plot of epinicium is about the muses of the music religion declaring that humanity doesnt treat music as "holy enough" anymore and taking it away as a whole (songbirds go extinct as well which is importnat) which also fucks up the other arts religionsdue to the fact that artforms are very connected but they still exist yk and centuries later our main cast attempts to bring it back!!! we have this server with a channel that has the "summary" but its not a real summary its just an already outdated infodump but we are Trying to fill this doc but we're failing really hard but friendship is magic idk.

fin.

anyways thats. pretty much it i think im sorry its too long once again 😭😭 feel free to ask question esp on the epinicium!! id love to hear abt ur ocs btw ive yapped so much oops

[spctlights]

–– closed starter for @saraifm​ ; wren’s home, 9pm.

"  oh  ,  come  on  –  this  is  not  gross.  "  both  their  hands were  completely  covered  in  cookie  dough.  it  was  getting  in every  crevice  on  wren's  skin  and  their  nails  were  covered  in raw  dough.  wren  's  kitchen  had  been  painted  a  light  orange color  and  was  covered  in  plants.  the  floor  was  a mediterranean  -  style  tile  faux  wood  tile  and  there  were small  long  rugs  all  over  the  floor  to  keep  their  feet  from the  cold  tile.  "  i  promise  this  recipe  is  worth  it  ,  " they  said  with  a  wicked  grin  ,  digging  their  hands  in  the dough  again  and  beginning  to  ball  it  up.  "  these  will  be the  best  no  -  chill  cookies  you  have  ever  tasted  in  your life.  scout's  honor.  "

[kald-dal-write]

Every Name used for each District in my fics

D1: Onyx, Ruby, Shimmer, Beau, Topaz, Persephone

D2: Ginny, Mars, Sylve, Claudia, Garde, Minerva, Ty, Claudius, Magnus

D3: Tera, Java, Peg, Alex, Magenta

D4: Brook, Dylan, Wade, Undine, Polina, Sheelin, Pearl, Marina

D5: Sunny, Hydro, Isak, Muriel, Wren, Nikolai

D6: Maureen, Cassius, Ford, Kennedy, Lexie, Greason, Dev, Montana, Texas, Beatrix, Sienna, Mercedes, Helena, Mae, Zara, Lori, Kian, Chevy, Joan, Hans, Georgia, Audi, Kira, Benson, Jo, Lionel, Flint, Cora, Lydia

D7: Ashton, Amber, Juniper, Cypress, Ash, Rowan, Ebony, Aspen, Agnes, Holly, Hazel

D8: Claudia, Wool, Evelyn, Avery

D9: Schyte, River, Sickle, Rye, Sylva, Wheaton, Harvie

D10: Isa, Pedro, Taurus, Carmen, Filip, Mateo, Lucia, Claude, Otis

D11: Cassandra, Jacob, Robin, Everest

D12: Harrow, Lilith, Canary, Harlow

[jacobwren]

Dry Your Tears to Perfect Your Aim is officially in stores as of today.

[rebouks]

Invictus: Author's Note

Now that we've all survived the horrors, I figured I'd do a bit of a commentary on Robin's nightmare below the cut...

I guess the central themes we were going for within Robin's dream were threefold; the fact that he feels lonely/alone with the burden of his gift, that he's worried about Alex, and that his friends (and some other's) are annoying/confusing him, so let's break that down to begin with.

Robin was always destined to be the last one alive, mostly to compound his feelings of desolation, but also because planning/executing various endings would've taken way longer than 2-3 months to plan on my own 😅 He doesn't dare tell anyone about his abilities due to the fear of being judged or ostracised and I don't blame him. Most people wouldn't believe him, and those that might would probably avoid him or at least act differently around him even if they supported him; he's also paranoid that if a medical professional found out, they'd want to study him or god knows what else, hence the scepticism from the group when he told them (in the nightmare) and his twisted view of Doctor Abbott (who's actually a perfectly lovely psychologist in the waking world).

Alex hasn't written for over six months at this point and Robin doesn't know why; it's not as if they've slowly been losing touch over time with less and less communication either, her letters stopped without warning! Half of him expects there to be a reasonable explanation, but he can't help worrying. Clearly his subconscious mind ran away with all that concern...

Robin's classmates personalities were spot on (thanks to Robin's gift) but slightly exaggerated since each one of them is a proverbial thorn in Robin's side at the moment.

Levi: Extra impulsive, standoffish and contradictory within Robin's dream, I think it's fairly obvious Robin's still pissed at his friend. I toyed with the idea of Robin being the only one to make decisions that we could vote on, but thought the loss of control he'd feel from not being able to stop bad outcomes from happening off the back of other people's choices was far more apt. Levi continues to tread a questionable path irl and Robin can't stop him.. if only he'd just apologise!

Penny: Robin strongly dislikes Penny, hence her being super annoying.. not that she's much better in the waking world! If the psychic doesn't rate someone, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet they're not such a great person.. I'm sure he wishes his friend wasn't so into her 💀

Aster: I think the fact that Aster's stood up for Robin twice now had a big impact on how he acted; he tried to keep the peace where he could and was the only one who supported Robin after he'd told the group about his gift. Robin doesn't know him very well outside of his dream though, so some of this could just be a projection based on what little evidence he has 🤷‍♀️

Jacob: Robin's a bit annoyed/put off by Jacob right now.. he barely spends any time with him and Jude anymore and as they've gotten older, their personalities appear to be veering in different directions. He's volatile, haughty and obsessed with girls, hence his distrust toward Robin after the revelation of his gift and his less-than-stellar treatment of Tess.

Tess: Tess goes where Jacob goes, simple! Though Robin feels bad for her because he knows that she's way more into Jacob than he is and he's not faithful; that's why he so obviously dismisses his own girlfriend within the dream. In the waking world he's much more convincing, but Robin knows better.

What the hell was "x" about?

The dolls - they were usually found pointing toward danger and/or bad decisions, but did we listen? NOPE! Instead we chose to vilify them 😩

The Lab - this was actually a warped version of the seed vault/hydroponic garden Robin, Wren & Oscar explored in Granite Falls. That's why the retina detection system recognised him, 'cause he has technically been there before. I'm not a professional, so don't quote me on this, but apparently our minds can't conjure up people/places/things from nothing, so what we usually see in our dreams is stuff we've seen before or an amalgamation of various things mashed together, even if we don't actively remember them.

The Asylum - Sunnyside Asylum is a real place Robin read about on a late night internet delve down a rabbit hole (don't judge him, we've all done it) he just forgot he'd read about it or seen it before 🤷‍♀️

The butterflies - they're Alex's favourite animals (along with the humble moth!) so Robin thought they were leading him to her, but they were not ;-;

"So, I suppose you know-..." - what was Aster going to say!? Aster was about to assume that Robin knows he has a crush on him, and he'd be correct! Robin never really picked up on it before, but after recent events it's pretty obvious.. to Robin at least! Does he like Aster back? Well, maybe he doesn't know yet, or maybe it's a secret, but (spoiler alert) Robin's pansexual, so there's a chance he could.

Doctor Abbott - briefly mentioned before, but let's dig deeper!

Dr. Abbott is the psychologist Oscar/Courtney sent Robin to a while back for his selective mutism after it started hindering him/his schoolwork etc since starting high school. He's terrifying simply because Robin's terrified of him-.. though I suppose not him personally. Robin's torn between a rock and a hard place when it comes to professional help; on the one hand he'd love to offload all his troubles and get some real guidance, but the other side of him worries what that'd mean. He can't tell anyone the full story, so how could anyone truly help him? Is his mutism even connected to his gift, or does he just use it as a convenient excuse? What if they didn't believe him and labelled him insane? What if he IS insane and imagining everyone else's thoughts? What if they do believe him and want to experiment on him?! 😱 If he's gonna tell anyone about his abilities, it sure as shit isn't gonna be some stranger he doesn't trust, even if it appears they mean well! He'd love to know where his gift came from though. Why him? Where'd it come from? Does anyone else have it?? He doubts anyone would be able to answer these questions but it still kinda ties into the whole theme of being experimented on etc. I think at this point he's wondering who he is (as every teen does around his age) or who he'd be without his abilities too, like another part of him is worried he'd be a mere husk of himself if science somehow explained away his world. It's just a part of who he is now and I think he's starting to accept himself as is, so the thought of someone picking it all apart after his acceptance is perhaps more scary than letting anyone in to help make sense of it. Maybe it's just one of those things, or maybe he's bonkers and has no idea? He doesn't know.. he's very confused, hence the complicated feelings around poor, well-meaning Dr. Abbott.

Mr Handy - he gets an honourable mention because it's funny to me.. like he's usually on the players side, right?! Yeah, but Robin isn't fond of technology in general so in dreamland good ol' Mr Handy is a dickhead instead lmao 😂

Some fun what if's & titbits...

I'm not gonna break down all the what if scenarios because there were a LOT but I still wanna take some time to point out some fun stuff n' share a few fun things we missed out on 🤸‍♀️

If Levi tried to scare Robin, it wouldn't have worked in the slightest which I just find amusing 🤭

If Robin n' co. chose to hide instead of run earlier on in the dream, he would've gotten stuck in a closet with Aster eheuheuheu (this is the fun thing I said y'all missed out on!!)

There were numerous ways for Levi to piss Penny off during the duration of the dream (somehow he only managed one so well done ig) that would've potentially changed their demise and one was Tess falling off the ladder and Levi helping her.. look at those mad lil fists on Penny LMAO 😂 You can also see another lovely doll pointing in the direction of the monster that was chasing them but everyone would've been like ewwww! even tho she was just trying to help.. shame on us tbh ;-;

Just Aster being cute tryna keep the peace.. IF HE'D SURVIVED! T-T

Mr Handy being absolutely demented.. love that for him.

Robin being yeeted back to the asylum.. skjsk idk I just like these screenshots lmao

Aster being a menace to both Levi and Penny ehehe

I had such fun creating this little project (I say little but it literally took months fkfjgkj) and October was kinda shitty for me so thank you to everyone for reading along, voting and generally having fun with me, it gave me something to look forward to! 🧡

I love horror and taking a break from a more realistic style of storytelling is always good fun, dreams especially 'cause they can be as wacky as you like!

I suppose my main inspo for the what if's/voting was Until Dawn but I think we can all thank games like Silent Hill, Outlast, Resident Evil, Amnesia etc etc for the general vibes I was going for 🤔

EITHER WAY! Very fun.. 10/10 would recommend trying to stretch yourselves into doing something something similar, I had a blast!

I think I covered a fair amount of questions n' stuff but feel free to ask anything else! ILY 🧡🧡

[niallsgoldhoop]

Chapter Twelve

Wren

“You’re telling me that was fake?!”

Macy looks at me from across the table, breakfast food spread out between us.

Instead of looking her in the eye, I pick up the overstuffed burrito on my plate and reach for a small cup of salsa— anything to keep myself busy. “Yeah, I told you it was.”

“Right, right.” Rolling her eyes, she takes a bite of her omelet. “If you say so.”

“It is.” Heat travels up my neck as the words tumble out, my hand coming up to the base of my neck to trace the diamond pendant. “”You’re just seeing things.”

“So me watching that man put his hands all over you must have just been a mistake on my part? My contacts must have fallen out for a second.” Macy says with a deadpan tone.

“Must have been the alcohol.” Shrugging my shoulders and taking a bite almost too big for my mouth, I sent up a tiny prayer that she would change the subject.

Because I needed to change the subject.

Badly.

Last night needed to be as far away from me as possible.

When I threw on my favorite jeans and grabbed an old hockey shirt out of my drawer, not once did it cross my mind who I would see inside of that venue.

If it had, the last person I would have picked would have been Niall.

The two of us gravitated to each other like opposite ends of the strongest magnet, not a single damn thing we could do to keep ourselves from meeting in the middle of that crowd.

Feeling his hands on my skin, his lips ghosting over my neck, the words from those same lips whispered in my ear— God.

It was all I could do to keep myself from begging him to take me anywhere where we could be alone.

Just the two of us.

I was attracted to Niall and the more time that I spent with him the more I had to tell myself over and fucking over that we had made an agreement.

A plan.

This relationship between us wasn’t real and nothing would ever come from it.

Nothing could come from it.

He was Niall Horan, retired professional golfer and owner of one of the most prestigious golf courses in the world.

Me? I was just Wren Jacobs.

The girl who’s family catered to her little sister and the girl who worked in marketing.

There wasn’t anything about me that would make him choose me in a regular scenario, in a real dating atmosphere— it was fake.

Fake.

Fake

Fucking fake.

Yet there was a small part of me that let myself imagine if it wasn’t. Like right now as Macy tells me about work and I do my best to concentrate and listen.

“Saturday night is the event at the Lakes, right?” Signing the check she refused to let the waitress split, she smiles at me before grabbing her purse.

I nod, reaching for my wallet. “Yeah. It starts at seven but I have to be there around five thirty.”

“I’ll be there at six in case you need anything. Besides, maybe I’ll be able to properly meet the man who had his hands all over my best friend.” Shooting me a wink, we push out into the sunshine of the morning.

Sliding my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose, a sound between a horan and a scoff falls from my lips. “Oh my god, you are the worst.”

Her laughter makes me want to shove her over and hug her right all at the same time. Opening my car door, I watch her walk up to her car next to mine. “Make sure you text me when you get home.”

“I will.” Mirroring my movement, she slides into the driver's seat. “Oh, Wren?”

“Yeah?”

Meeting my gaze, a smirk dances across her face. “You didn’t have any alcohol last night.”

With that, she puts the keys in the ignition and shuts the door before during off, leaving me standing there like a fucking idiot in the middle of the parking lot.

I know it and she knows it— We both know I’m fucked.

I couldn’t blame my actions on anything other than myself. Although I don’t think the loss of inhibitions that comes with alcohol could even touch the way it felt to be around Niall.

He was his own kind of addiction.

One I might not be able to deny.

_______

I’m a coward.

I’m a coward— and I know that I am.

Considering it’s been a week since I felt the brush of Niall’s fingertips over my warm skin and I’ve managed to keep away from him… On purpose?!

Yeah, exactly.

Coward.

Something about being face to face with him after than and after the realization that I might be in over my head has sent me down into a spiral that seems like it may never end.

Thankfully I got out of our weekly dates because Piper demanded my presence for a cake testing and a dress fitting. Not that it mattered what my opinion was because everyone knows she just needed someone to boss around.

But I knew that eventually my luck would run out when it came to avoiding Niall, that eventually I would have to look into those ocean blue eyes with their devastating hint of the sunrise.

As I make a sharp turn into my office with a deli sandwich clutched to my chest hoping that I made it, the black and white ball of fluff that happily barks outside of my door before jumping over the threshold tells me that today is the day.

���Callaway!”

Niall’s accent is thick as he rounds the corner before skidding to a stop, his eyes going from the puppy chasing his tail to me, sandwich still clutched in my grip.

“Hi.” Lifting my hand awkwardly, a squeak comes out of my mouth replacing the confident tone I usually carry.

Those lips that felt like fire across my skin pull up into a grin at the same time he crosses his arms across his chest, the fabric stretching in ungodly ways. “Hello, Birdie.”

My fingers dig into the deli paper, the slight sound making Callaway’s ears perk up before he bounces over to me and sits, tail swishing back and forth as his pink tongue hangs out of his mouth.

I can ignore Niall, but a cute puppy?

Absolutely not.

“Did someone already teach you how to sit?” Crouching down and shifting everything into one arm, I reach out and scratch behind his ears. “Such a good boy, aren’t you?”

“Actually, yeah— Thanks for asking.” Niall grins. “But if you hadn’t been avoiding the two of us I guess you would have already known that.”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” I lie.

The laugh that falls from his lips draws the attention away from the four legged beast in front of me, making him rush over and jump up to the source of the sound. “Bullshit, Wren. I’ve literally seen you ducking around corners this last week and I’ve been at the receiving end of your one-worded text messages.”

“I’ve been busy.” Another lie. “I had some wedding stuff to do and—“

“Are you okay?” His voice is devoid of the teasing tone as he takes a step towards me. “Did your sister do anything?”

Shaking my head, I stay in the crouched position, watching as Niall flexes his hands at his sides as if he doesn’t know what to do with them. “No, no. It was nothing.”

“Would you tell me? If someone said something they shouldn’t have?” Those damn eyes lock with mine.

Standing up, I try my best to smile even as he takes one more step closer to me. “Niall, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to act like my protector all the time, this is—“

“Fake. Yeah, I know it’s fake.” Annoyance flashes over his features. “But I don’t give a fuck if it’s fake or not, nobody talks to you like you aren’t important. Do you understand me?”

I nod, clutching my stuff to my chest. “Yeah, yes… I'm sorry for avoiding you this last week.”

“No, I should be apologizing to you.” Blowing out a breath and running his hands through his fake hair, a half smile ghosts across his face. “What happened— What I said… The way I touched you… I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

God, just like that and I’m right back to where we were in the middle of that crowd.

Silence settles between us but the tension grows thicker and thicker as we stand so close.

“It’s okay.” Barely above a whisper, my voice doesn’t sound like my own. “I promise.”

“Birdie—“ This time it’s Niall who shakes his head, closing that gap between us and stepping close enough that I can feel the best from his body and the scent of the bergamot from his cologne. “Please don’t avoid me again, I hate it when—“ Between us, the ball of fluff let’s put a low whine just before he darts out of my office, making Niall let out a curse under his breath. “This conversation isn’t over.”

He doesn’t wait for me to respond before rushing out of the room, leaving me to finally drop my stuff at my desk and sit down, resting my head on my desk in an attempt to gain my bearings.

I needed to set myself straight sooner rather than later and I knew it.

The only problem?

It might already be too late.

_________

“Don’t be nervous.”

Macy looks over at me as we stand to the side, watching as people file into the ballroom and take their seats.

“I can’t help it.” My fingers reach for my necklace, running the pendant back and forth along the chain. “This event— I’ve worked hard to make sure everything goes well.”

“I know you have and it shows.” Taking a drink from her glass of water, she nudges my shoulder. “Besides, your boyfriend looks happy.”

“He’s not my—God, nevermind.” Arguing with her is pointless. “Besides, Niall owns this whole course. Of course he’s going to look happy— That’s his job.”

“Right, but is it his job to look at you like that?” She shrugs.

Looking up, it’s easy to find him in the crowd with his navy suit perfectly tailored to his body and the white shirt underneath fits in every way that it counts. That mop of dark hair so effortlessly perfect, like always.

As soon as our gazes meet from across the room, the smile on his face spreads a little wider and even under the dim lighting it’s easy to tell that his eyes get a little brighter. Niall turns to the man he’s talking to and shakes his hand, pointing towards me and patting him in the back.

“He’s not looking at me in any kind of way.” Clutching my drink in my hand, I ignore the goosebumps that blaze across my skin when he starts to make his way across the room.

“One day you’ll quit lying to yourself and when you do, I’m never going to let you forget it.” Patting me on the back, Macy gives me a mischievous smile. “I’ll remember to mention it in my maid of honor speech.”

“You’re so—“

There’s no time to finish my sentence when Niall finally reaches us, sliding his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. “Hi, Birdie.”

“Hi.” My pulse skyrockets under his gaze, the soft smile enough to undo me.

“Everything looks great, you did good.” The feeling of his thumb moving back and forth like a weight against the fabric of my dress. Macy clears her throat next to us, drawing away Niall’s attention. “I’m sorry— You must be Macy.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Macy shakes his hand, her watchful eye not missing the way his fingers grip my hip even tighter. “I’ve heard a lot about you from your girlfriend here.”

“All good things, I hope.” Tilting his face down to mine, there’s no escaping the blush blooming across my cheeks.

Macy takes a long drink from her glass. “Oh, yes. All good things.”

“Wren knows how to organize an event, doesn’t she?” Niall looks out over the ballroom. “She’s worked so hard on this.”

“I’ve always known her to be a hard worker. In my opinion, she’s the best one in her entire family.” She shrugs. “But that’s just my opinion.”

“Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one who thinks that.” Niall’s voice is lower, more rough. “Are they coming tonight?”

Shaking my head, I look down towards my feet and try not to let my disappointment show on my face. “Um, no. Piper wanted them to go to dinner. It’s not a big deal—”

Macy scoffs and rolls her eyes.

Niall takes in a deep breath before letting it out. “Don’t say that. What you do, the work you put into something… It matters.”

“Amen.” Macy mutters under breath from beside me.

Before I can even come up with a reply, the sound of my name draws my attention away from both of them, a genuine smile covering my face as Harper and her husband wave from across the room.

Once they join our little group, it feels like any and all the negative emotions that I was carrying dissipate as I laugh and smile with a group of people who not only have welcomed me but my closest friend as well.

Each time Niall looks at me or smiles in my direction, I can feel that hard exterior around my heart dissolve, the same hard exterior that helped me write the list of rules that I want to put through a paper shredder.

As the evening goes on, I finally find a moment to step outside, letting the cool air of the early October cool my skin.

Taking in a deep breath only to let it right back out.

I was so stressed out about this event and to see it go off without a hitch makes me feel so proud of myself.

Something I haven’t felt in a long time.

When you work hard and feel like the people who are supposed to be there and celebrate the good, and even the bad, aren’t there it just eventually wears you down.

Even when you put on a face as if it doesn’t bother you, there always seems to be this tiny hole in your heart that just can’t quite be filled.

Golden shadows stretch across the immaculately tamed lawn as the muted sounds of the people inside carry out as far away as they possibly can. A breeze picks up and sends a chill through my bones, making me cup my arms and rub my palms over my skin to give me even a little hint of warmth.

“Here.”

I know it’s Niall before I even turn around, the smell of his cologne mixed with the fresh scent that is just him surrounds me at the same time a jacket is placed over my shoulders.

“Thanks.” Gripping the edges along the front, I clutch it closer to me.

Stepping up behind me, I don’t even try and pretend like I don't want to be around him when he wraps his arms under the oversized fit of his suit jacket, those strong arms pulling me into him at the same time his chin rests on top of my shoulder.

“You smell good.” His words are warm against my skin from how close his lips are to me.

Tilting my head back, the smile on my lips is evident as Niall draws me even closer. “I’m wearing the same perfume I always do, weirdo.”

“I know.” He laughs. “I guess this is me telling you that you always smell good.”

My hands fall on top of his arms, the tips of my fingers tracing over the tops of the veins that run under his smooth skin.

Like this it’s easy to imagine a life of doing exactly this very thing.

Just him.

Just me.

“I’m glad that I didn’t ruin anything tonight.” My voice is soft, faint.

Niall shakes his head, burying his face into the crook of my neck. “You could never ruin anything, Birdie.”

“It feels like it, you know?” I lean into him, letting him support me. “Makes me tired.”

“You can be tired with me all you want, Wren, I promise you can. But let me tell you right now— You couldn’t ruin anything and every day you make me so fucking proud of you. Do you hear me?”

His lips press into my skin and linger there with his words.

“You’re just saying that because you have to say that, Niall. There’s nobody out here to hear what you’re saying.” It’s the truth, even though I don’t want it to be.

“Fucking hell.” Grumbling under his breath, Niall drops one of his arms from around my waist and reaches up, resting his forearm across my collar bone. “When I say that I’m proud of you, there’s nothing fake about that. Not a single fucking thing.”

Trying to keep my emotions in check, I bite the inside of my lower lip, my worst habit. “I’m just not used to hearing that from very many people.”

“Get used to it, Birdie.” When I feel his lips press against the skin of my neck, I close my eyes, letting myself feel all of the small kisses Niall trails along my skin up to my ear. “I could tell you all day long.”

Turning in his arms, I look up into his eyes, the soft glow from behind him casting a halo of light around his silhouette.

Honestly, I’m still not sure that I’ve ever seen someone as beautiful as Niall.

I don’t really want to see anyone but Niall.

Cupping my jaw, his thumb suns back and forth along my cheek before he drops down, his lips pressing to the corner of my jaw before he pulls away.

All I want to do is pull him back to me.

To feel his lips against mine, for real.

“Come on, let’s get back in there before people come looking for us.” I smile, trying to pretend like every look and every touch doesn’t drive me wild in one way or the other.

His lips tilt up in a half smile, hands dropping and leaving me feeling even colder than before. “Hey, Wren?”

“Niall?” Looking up at him, I force my hands to my sides, ignoring the urge to reach out for him.

We make our way up the stone steps and when he opens the door for me, I raise my brow in question, waiting for him to answer me.

As soon as we step inside, his hand slides over my hip and dangerously close to my ass before he leans in, his lips brushing against my ear right before he lays the truth out for me only to walk away right after.

Even hours later when I’m laying in bed I hear it.

The same low tone.

The same rasp.

His words play on repeat and when I finally doze off— it’s still the only thing that I hear.

I don’t even know how much I’m pretending with you.

_______

-alex 🍀