#JUST ONE AND WE'RE GETTING BY TOTALLY FINE

[sparks-and-smoke]

Hello!

What about an avengers reader and bucky fic where reader dosnt realize they are in an depressive episode but bucky or steve or both ( platonically or romantically) notices.

Haha I just surfaced from a major depressive episode so that's where the inspiration came from.

Also hi!

Hi <3 this one is a little longer because, well I guess I needed it too. Plus fluffy lovey Stucky is my bread and butter. 

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky barnes x reader, Stucky (but not really the focus)

Content/Warnings: mental health, depression, anxiety, self care

Author Note: as someone who also struggles with mental health I personally loved this ask. Thank you, and I hope your feeling better sweets. Take care. 

(Bonus note from my editor @voice-of-velhart)

Editor Note: Depression is not an easy thing to make your way out of, but I'm proud of ya'll for pushing through it and I'm glad your here. <3

The brain fog was the thing that set in first. It was hard to fall out of a routine living in the compound. Day in and Day out it was training and meal regimens. Sparring and paperwork. Someone was always around and yet you felt like you were drifting. Going through the motions with little to no reason to do so other than if you didn’t what else would fill your day. No one seemed to notice your lack of enthusiasm, or how your typically attentive nature had been slipping lately. Your reports were still on time and you weren’t pulling your punches in training so you were probably fine… right?

It was burn out or maybe you were feeling under the weather. At least that's what you told them if they asked. And while your friends and team loved you, they were busy people with the literal weight of the world on their shoulders. So who could blame them when they didn’t keep tabs, or at least you thought they didn’t keep tabs. 

Bucky sat in the library trying to find a fantasy book he hadn’t already read. Tony was a brilliant guy but he had horrible taste in written fiction. As he perused, he kept you in his peripheral vision. You stared down at your now cold cup of coffee looking lost even though you weren’t moving. He had noticed you are like this a lot the last few weeks. You shower less and less, your normally shiny maintained hair more often than not on the greasy and dull side of the spectrum. And he hadn’t seen you touch the piano or your switch in days. He was getting concerned. 

He taps Steve with his foot. “What?” 

The big guy had been deep in thought, sprawled out in a lounge chair with his nose in a tablet. “Have you noticed Angel is different lately?” 

Steve glanced up, taking a look at their girl as she swirled the coffee in her mug, totally disassociating. “Yeah, she said she was under the weather. I tried to get it out of her what was wrong but she’s being cagey.” his brows knit together in a mask of concern. “Sure is lingering a long time to be just a bug, don't cha think?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah I do… what are we gonna do about it.” 

Steve sighed heavily and set down his tablet, giving the issue his full attention. He thinks back to those long cold winters in brooklyn. When the snow was deep and his bones would ache so bad he didn’t wanna get out of bed. There were always little things that would help him get out of those slumps. Bucky making him get up and shower was always a good start, followed by warm food and if they could find it, sunlight. 

“I think we're gonna start by helping our girl feel human again..” 

~~~~

Steve and Bucky formed a game plan. The two men are nothing if not efficient and tactical. Steve went down stairs to start food. Something starchy and savory. Comfort food. Meanwhile, Bucky started operation Angel Self Care. 

“Angel.” Bucky's voice was soft, wrapped in warm velvet. And you barely registered it before he was crouching down and smoothing back your hair from your face. Taking your untouched cup out of your hand. “How long have you been sitting here, beautiful?” 

You shook your head as if you could wave away the mist behind your eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Lost track of time I guess.” Bucky just hums. Yeah, he knows that feeling. He also knew it never led anywhere good. 

“Lost in thought?” 

You looked up to meet his gaze, warmth and concern mixing in the set of his jaw and the draw of his brows. “Yeah I guess. I’m fine babe. Don’t worry about it I’m just..”

“Feeling under the weather. Yeah, I know. You’ve been saying that a lot lately. I’m starting to think it’s a cop out.”

It is and you know it but you don’t know what else to say. “I just. I don’t know what wrong with me lately. I just… I don’t wanna do anything. Like anything ya know? It’s like sometimes waking up alone is all I have in me for the day. Do you know how that feels.”

If anyone knew how you felt it was Bucky. Hell sometimes he still felt that way, decades of torture and actions out of his own control had left him with more then his own share of depressive tendencies that drag him deep down under the current of reality pretty regularly. There are days he goes completely nonverbal, only going through the motions on autopilot. The only people who can pull him out are Steve, and you. And therapy, lots of therapy. “Of course I do. You know I do. But Angel, you can’t live there. It’s ok to feel it, but you need to acknowledge it and try to crawl back out. It’s ok if you can’t do it alone baby.”

You feel a thick lump forming in your throat that you can’t quite swallow down. The urge to argue, to tell him your fine and he’s being overbearing was there. But more then that you knew he was right. Something was wrong, and you couldn’t climb out on your own. But you weren’t ready to say it. Not yet. 

“Come on honey, let’s get you cleaned up and get some food in your belly. That might help a little.” Bucky didn’t wait for you to protest, he slid one arm under your legs and the other around your back and headed up to Steve’s quarters. Not caring in the slightest if teammates or recruits saw. That was a problem for later Bucky. 

~~~~

The big six had full apartments in the upper levels of the compound. Which means he could squirrel you away to Steve’s private bath and get you in the shower. Vetiver and pine, a familiar comforting scent. Gently and quietly he started the shower to an acceptable temperature for you (hot enough to turn your skin the next shade of blush.) and stripped you down to help you in. 

There was nothing sexual about the way he did this. It was all just about loving you. Helping you, as  he guided you into the water and let it wash away your stress. He pulled you back against his chest. “There’s my girl. That feel better Angel?” 

You nod as the smell of Steve’s body wash fills the small space. “Do you mind if I wash you?” 

With your permission he sets about cleaning you up. Slow loving strokes over your body as he pulls you back to lean on his chest. “You know you can talk to us about anything right. Steve and I love you. You’ve been here for us. Let us do the same.” 

“I would tell you… if I knew why I felt this way.” You confess. “If I had some inkling of what I needed to get out to feel better but I don’t.” 

Your voice wavers and it breaks Bucky's heart just a little. He wants to fix it. But he knows he can’t. All he can do is be there for you. “Well, I’m glad you trust me enough to help you.” He tilts your head back. Starting to wash your hair. “We’ll just take it one step at a time till we find ground again. Ok?

~~~~ 

Downstairs Steve fretted over the stove. Sweet potato pierogi and with onions and butter. It was easy, simple even. But it always made him feel better as a kid and the few times he had made it you liked it. He looked up as he heard feet pad down into the kitchen. Hair still damp, but clean. In fresh sweats and Bucky's shirt. 

“Ahh, there you are. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah… a little.” You admit, sitting on a stool across the island. 

Steve rounds the counter to kiss your forehead. “You look better.” He inhaled her skin, the longer scent of his soap and Bucky's touch still there, along with that sweet undertone that was all you. “Smell better too.” He teased. 

You breath out your nose with a half hearted huff. “Thanks.” 

“Always angel. Here. I made you some food. You don’t have to eat it all but at least a few bites would ease my mind. And then maybe we can go up to the room and get you some sun hmm? Would you be ok with that.” Steve slid the colorful pasta across the counter to you with a warm smile. Trying to coax you to follow his lead. 

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You eat mostly in silence. Steve and Bucky don’t push you to talk as you fill your stomach. You know they're worried. But even just these small gestures are helping you feel like maybe there is an end to this malaise. You see Steve smile and kiss Bucky softly in thanks as they wait for you to tell them you're ready. 

They spend the rest of the day trying to get you some sun. Fresh air and movement. 

“We’re gonna do this a little everyday till you start feeling better. And if you need it or feel up to it we can look into talking to a therapist too.” Steve assures. His hand firmly laced through your own. “You are not alone in this. We all feel this way sometimes. But I’m proud of you for trying love.”

A flicker of hope flies in your chest at his words. You aren’t alone, this isn’t forever. And your men are gonna love you through it till you can do it on you own.

[nemainofthewater]

Halfway there and currently Caoxiang are winning with 59.9%, followed by Jiang Yanli with 15.6%, and then in third place Everyone from a Journey to Love.

Tag propaganda under the cut.

Note that it contains SPOILERS. As always, the write in propaganda is the last section, so if you're worried about spilers for things not on this list, you can avoid it

Tang Lian

#many of these are very sad and maybe cry#only one of them fucked me up for a whole 48 hours straight though#partly his death and partly the way we got to watch everyone find out and react to the news!#I’m totally fine!!!!!!#tang lian my beloved#the blood of youth by @jianghushenanigans

Cao Weining and Gu Xiang

#tumblr polls#gu xiang and cao weining 😭#not only was it so tragic#but seeing wkx find out and react was heartbreaking also😭 by @there-and-back-again

#look jyl’s was sad af#and tang lian’s had me going nooooooo#and pian ran’s was SO SAD#but nothing hit me like gu xiang & coa weining’s MY POOR BABIES 😭😭😭 by @unfortunatelycake

#jyl and pian ran hurt me#but WORD OF HONOUR DESTROYED ME by @sothisiswhyiamhere

#I never finished word of honor#but I heard about those deaths#that's painful enough right there#though jiang yanli comes second#if we're taking non-cdrama though#ianto jones death still haunts me by @ihavetothinkofaname

#i was between the wow couple and everyone from ajtl#i cried so hard for everyone from ajtl but at least most of them were profesionals who were prepared for their deaths#the happy couple shouldnt have died they didnt know it was coming and neither did we.#the shock just took me out. still does by @fealiniel

#god bai jiu really does deserve that#however. maybe because it eas my first brutal cdrama death. i cannot get over cwn and gx by @nutcasewithaknife

#gx and cwn tore out my heart omg#ive only watched a couple on this list and honestly i was also v upset by pian ran but word of honour takes it by @annagrzinskys

#I only know the first one but that’s enough#I’m still in denial about#word of honor#polls by @auroramagpie

#gx and cwn#i cried. every time i watch the episode i cry#everyone (a journey to love) cracked me up by @dommingjeffsatur

#look I was already spoiled for weining's death but to find out is was THAT guy who killed him broke me by @prideofyunmeng

#so many good ones#gu xiang's tore my heart apart ngl by @jaimebluesq

#Gu Xiang and Cao Weining deserved win :sob emoji: by @measured-words

#all i know hurt#but none like gu xiang and cao weining by @fire-burning-brighter

#GU XIANG AND CAO WEINING#there's something to be said for not being spoiled#cause it was SURPRISING#you know?#it was not expecting the happy ending to go so poorly!#it was watching the train wreck in motion and not being able to stop it#it was gu xiang telling gong jun to KILL THEM ALL#it was cao weining never seeing the betrayal coming!#that HURT ME#cdrama poll#lmao i forgot gong jun's character's name lolol#anyway#THEY ARE ALIVE IN MY HEART#MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH WHOM by @wanderingthunderstorm

#GU XIANG AND CAO WEINING HANDS DOWN#i had never cried so hard during a cdrama before by @dripping-moonlight

#omg ouch#it sounds like fangs of fortune is pretty gut-wrenching D:#but i had to vote for Gu Xiang and Cao Weining ;__; by @vergoftowels

#shijie was PAINFUL but good god a-xiang and her dumb boy made me weep#they were SO CLOSE to a life of happiness and the hope of acceptance is what killed them i CRIE#woh by @ouaismongars

#I may have cried a river for Yangli and Tang Lian but Word of Honor was such a betrayal that I had trouble breathing through my tears#spoilers by @cherryvampyyri

Everyone (A Journey to Love)

#but I'm obligated to pick AJTL as a chronic Yuan Lu and Yu Shisan lover (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) by @rose-tinted-vision

Other

#look I know he was a very minor character but teng zijing’s death in JOL had me openly sobbing at work#guest were asking me if I was ok#very embarrassing! to this day I am still fucked up over it! by @bitterfrosts

#bai jiu (fangs of fortune)#there's only for so long I can see a kid being burnt to death while he keeps yelling out his gege's name by @travalerray

#beware the spoilers in my tags#i haven't seen most of these so it's hard to say#but yeah gu xiang and cao weining were rough#it was so much worse in the book too#teng zijing from joy of life was also Not Okay#but if we include animated wuxia then i would say the one that got me the worst#would have to be qiu shenji from da li si rizhi#it has a live action now i think but i'm terrified of it because it looks not even remotely similar to the original story by @sirspamzalot

#yeahhh#literally everyone from fangs of fortune#but especially my baby ying lei by @endrega23

In honour of the fact it is the evening preceding the birth of a religious figure best known for rising from the dead please have this poll.

They are alive in our hearts 😭😭😭😭😭

There are SPOILERS

SO MANY SPOILERS

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

Write-ins, propaganda, and images are welcome!

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 9 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4])

it's still agatha and her river

mama, I'm sorry I got upset. mama I'm sorry we're both starving tonight. I promise I'll do better tomorrow.

a six year old taking responsibility and apologizing for his mother's shortcomings.

agatha looks down at her precious little boy's pleading face

and she smiles at him, and nicky gives her a big relieved grin.

evanora is not stealing this moment. she did her worst to fuck with agatha's brain chemistry, but in one fundamental thing she failed: agatha is capable of loving her kid. despite all her other shortcomings, she will never blame nicky for her own faults.

she does a cute little dance for him, and this is what they do, isn't it? he's too small to explain his big feelings and she is too scared, and so they sing to each other and hope the love is understood anyway.

see how he touches the brooch? if only she could have loved nicky in vacuum, without any of the emotional baggage. but he is only the last link in a long chain of witches, pain and and tears and blood that made him what he is. agatha cannot escape her identity and legacy no matter how much she tries, and she couldn't protect nicky from it either.

the last time she sees nicky alive he's smiling adoringly at her. this is the boy she can't face in the afterlife, because her own guilt is so strong she's convinced he will hate her.

nicky dies peacefully in his mother's arms. his soul wakes up and sees rio waiting for him.

that some good cinema dear lord

rio waves at nicky. he doesn't know her (when who will return?) but he still trusts her implicity - she's been around him his whole short life, in the woods, in the water, in his lungs.

and - the bit that destroyed us all - she makes nicky go to agatha one last time. go kiss your mama goodbye.

light and dark, growth and decay, here and beyond.

remember when alice died and the camera turned upside down? ot stops halfway here. agatha has been affected so profoundly by nicky's death that she can never let herself go back to the land of the living, but she's also too scared to follow rio to the other side. she's stuck in the middle, consumed by the impossible dream of bringing nicky back, never allowing herself to find peace and companionship again. in love with death, but running away from it.

(people never seem to make crack and humor vids for episode 9, isn't that curious? when it's soooo fun and lighthearted!)

well ain't that just brutal

I have always known

This Road is cruel and wild

I bury my own heart

Here with you, my child

(I think those are lavender flowers? I'm not 100% sure)

coolcoolcoolcoolcool. that's fine. I'm absolutely fine.

BARRIERS UP right away. even if she looks like a mess. especially because she looks like a mess. she's not showing weakness in front of anyone, she's protecting her grief like a jealous goblin, and since she cannot run, she straightens her dress and gets ready to fight. the option to ask for help and comfort doesn't even cross her mind.

her eyes still full of tears / agatha gets another wonderful, awful idea.

we've seen this so many times, haven't we? the real agatha disappears behind the character she plays. the agatha we've seen from the very start, since the moment she walked into wanda's living room, has been a lie. very few people have ever seen a hint of the poor bruised heart she hides inside, and only to rio and (to some extent) nicky she has ever opened up.

how can someone go from total heartbreak to planning murder in the span of two minutes? well, you can if you are agatha harkness and have never learned one healthy coping mechanism in your life. and I'm sure she's already rationalizing it as something like "if I get powerful enough I can bring nicky back." but the truth is, she just wants to get drunk on magic and murder and stop feeling so horrible. she's running away, like usual. she's planning to kill witches in front of the grave of the very kid who begged her not to, and she's using his song to do it. as if that's not gonna haunt her or anything.

(it really gets me how agatha's smiles are so different from kathryn's. agatha never smiles with her eyes, except when she's with nicky.)

agatha's diabolical scam is so stupid if you think about, definitely worthy of the clown she has become. just pretend the Road didn't open and then annoy people into attacking you! better than using a literal child as bait, I guess.

here she absorbs a yellow coven, and yep, it does look like covens are all supposed to be the same color?

the bodies from the agnes of westview opening.

orange coven in the late 1800s. I really like that dress and hat on her

blue coven in the 1920s, and another cunty outfit

I know you guys like the 90s look, but it makes me laugh how hard she was trying for that Craft vibe. and we don't see the beams color here.

and finally, our girls. (I miss you all so muchhhhh)

what do you know! looks like a door has appeared! (sharonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!)

from fuck has my karma caught up with me to well well well, looks like we have another little maximoff on our hands

and speaking of little maximoffs and giant assholes...

[keepmovinjunior]

i just wanted to talk about something (under a read more bc it is out of character)

everyone is here for their own reasons, and that's cool. i totally get that. i'm not about to tell anyone how to spend their time or operate on their own blog.

i, personally, am here for fun and that's it. i'm here to write. i'm here to ramble about fictional characters and have silly little interactions on the dash / expand on my character's relationship with your character's. my real life has its own stressors (i have a great life but obviously not everything is peachy keen and being someone who is politically informed and inclined, i want to have a safe space in which i am not interacting with that type of content that i can retreat to for my own relaxation). at the end of the day this is, as i said, playing tumblr barbies for me (and most likely for most people). it's a game and it's not that serious. in fact, it's like. not serious at all.

some people are here for community and friendships and that's totally fine. i'm not against making friends, either, and i do really like and appreciate a lot of the people i interact with often and on a daily basis, even if i don't know most of you well at all. we engage in the same hobby and we're all aliases behind a screen but i really do enjoy talking to many of you. however, at the end of the day, if i don't make friends here, that's fine, too. i'm just chilling!

having said that, i've been around for a long time and have, of course, made friendships, had relationships, gone in and out of certain blogs, etc. and this is not a hobby i think i will ever outgrow (probably will just have less time for during certain periods of my life - and most people probably will experience that). i've had falling outs, i've had moments of being uncomfortable with certain people, i have had headcanons and sometimes even some of my own graphics lifted from my blog by others of the same muse, i've even had whole ass relationships with other writers in which i was very hurt. but here's the damn thing, ok: i never, ever, not even once, had a public DNI that other people had to adhere to to write with me, tried to call someone out or incite community wide drama by dragging other unrelated people into what happened over my own personal experiences, or tried to control anyone else over it. i always understood that not everyone is going to feel the same way, or have the same experience, with another person. i understood that dealing with my feelings about the situation was on me, and it was in my own best interest to learn how to move past or live with what happened. if i felt uncomfortable with seeing that other person around, it was my own responsibility to handle my own feelings as i saw fit, and no one else needed to do that for me. this is just good philosophy toward life in general, but, as it applies to tumblr: if i couldn't handle seeing someone on this platform and co-existing in this space, i would leave, sign out, or just. literally do anything else. i knew that my own friends and my own fun is what i should focus on.

there is a feature on tumblr called filtering. you can blacklist tags and users. you can filter things that make you uncomfortable if you want to stay but don't want to see those things. you can unfollow. you can block. you can literally do anything else, and you don't owe explanations for that. or, if you can't handle it even with those things done, you can sign out and leave and invest your time in something healthier and more relaxing. this is a hobby.

by all means, have your DNIs, make your call outs (leave me out of those, though, because i guarantee you that unless this person is a sexual predator, groomer, or scam artist, i am not going to care, especially if i have no relationship with anyone else involved in said drama) and will think you're ridiculous for it. just know that the moment you start to try to control how other people operate, you will lose out on a lot of really good experiences and just make this a more miserable place for you to be.

the best healing is exposure and love and support. it's not focusing on what other people do or seeking out spaces in which you will be triggered because you enjoy being a victim.

take it from me, a 30 year old queer woman who has gone through my fair share of loss in life: it's not that serious. it's really not.

[kissorkill16]

Nicky's Back: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Nicky's back at school.

The gang was just walking down the hallway of Raven Brooks Middle School, and Enzo looked up for a moment, and his eyes widened in shock.

Is that him?

Is that really him?

Was he dreaming?

Enzo took off his glasses and rubbed the lenses on his shirt a little, then put them back on.

No, it wasn't a dream. It was honest, and truly him!

Nicky!

He was back from the hospital!

Without another thought, he dropped his books and ran towards him, immediately wrapping his arms around him.

"I can't believe it! You're finally back!", he cheered, "I missed you so much!"

Nicky's eyes widened in surprise, and he didn't make a move to hug Enzo back, he just stood in shock. The rest of his friends made their way to him, and they looked just as surprised as him to see that Nicky was back.

Maritza's eyes were close to filling with tears, "Nicky, you're back.", she said, her voice starting to crack.

Nicky nodded and pushed Enzo away, "Yes, guys. I'm back.", he said, dusting himself off. "But -"

Without warning, Ivan jumped towards Nicky and wrapped his arms around him, causing Nicky to fall to the floor.

"OH MY GOODNESS! I'M SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW! YOU HAVE NO IDEA -"

Nicky pushed Ivan off of him and dusted himself off once again.

"Stop it.", he said. "I don't care if you guys missed me. That doesn't excuse what -"

Enzo put his hand up. He knew what this was about. "Nicky, I know we hurt your feelings with that. And we're sorry for that.", he said. "For telling you that your parents are cultists."

Nicky's eyes widened once again. Maritza moved closer to him, "Yes, we're sorry. We shouldn't have said that.", she said, giving him a hug that didn't knock him over to the floor.

She pulled away, and Ivan put his hand on Nicky's shoulder. "I solely apologize, since I was the one who said it first.", he said.

When he stepped away, Delroy moved to him, and he had no idea what he wanted to do. It felt awkward to hug him since they weren't friends, and he didn't want to do or say something that Nicky might take the wrong way.

So he just gave him an awkward pat on the head before stepping back and wiping his hand on his jacket.

Nicky looked down at his shoes, "I guess I forgive you guys.", he said. "I'm happy to be back, because I really miss you guys."

That just made everyone smile.

"But where's Trinity?"

That made everyone's eyes widen.

Enzo awkwardly scratched the back of his head, "We...don't know.", he said. "We heard that she was being sent away to boarding school, but when we stopped by her house for one last goodbye, her parents reported her missing."

Once again, Nicky's eyes widened.

Maritza put her hands up to him, trying to reassure him. "But we were planning to help look for her after school. If you wanted to catch up with us, we can -"

"No.", said Nicky. "I'm sorry, guys. I just can't. I want to, because she's my friend and I love her, but..."

"But you're scared.", Delroy finished. "We get it, we totally understand. Guys, he doesn't have to help us. Let's just let him live the rest of his life, not engaging in any weird nonsense like we're doing."

"But -"

"Nicky said it himself.", he said, not letting Ivan finish.

No one said anything else, they just sadly nodded. Nicky turned around to leave, but before he did, the gang gave him one more hug.

He smiled, and when they let go, he walked down the hallway and turned the corner to his next class.

Enzo looked at his shoes, and Maritza put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine, Mari. It's just...things aren't going to be the same without Nicky."

"I know, but we have to respect his decision.", said his sister. "We can still sit with him at lunch and save the rescuing Trinity from the cult nonsense for after school."

Enzo smiled at his sister, nodding his head in agreement. "That sounds perfect."

[tunguszka20]

Guys

I beg you

For the love of everything that you find holy

WHY do we need gendered languages?

It's bad enough that you need someone's gender to talk about them in English, but like... French? Spanish? Italian? German? All the other gendered languages?? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME????

Like who decided that a table is a male and a teapot is a female or all the other shit like that?

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[frenchy-and-the-sea]

There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.

[oncominggstorm]

My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.

Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything 👍 Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him 👍👍

[aro-culture-is]

Fandom aro culture is wanting to be obnoxious about your arospec headcanons but the idea of anyone coming after you for them makes you want to scream

.

[batboybisexualism]

ugggggggh today I had a surprise extra dog walk, and I'm already on a dog-sit so I had to leave sweet miss Bailey alone at home three times today, and she gets separation anxiety so that was hard 😭 also while walking Finn and Leo in the park I not only had to deal with every single one of the dozens of people I passed on the walk not moving out of the fucking way, like I swear people are allergic to sharing the path in that park and the path is like eight feet wide, so I always have to drag the dogs over to the grass next to the path which isn't as smooth and it's usually muddy and/or covered in fallen tree branches etc so it's harder to navigate without tripping especially with those insane dogs pulling me all over the place, ANYWAY not only did I have to deal with that but I also had maybe the worst asthma attack I've ever had and I didn't have my inhaler so my lungs have been sore all day and I can't fucking breathe normally 😭😭😭

ALSO I went to swap out the tip on the syringe for my t-shot from the drawing needle to the injecting needle and when I screwed it in I heard a cracking sound...didn't really think anything of it because when I aspirated the needle it seemed to be working fine, but once I jabbed myself and pushed the plunger down all the t oil just squirted out of the side of the base of the needle tip and all over my leg lmaooooooo so now I have to call my endo and be like "hey I spilled my boy juice can I have more" and idk what they're going to say because I just had to refill it early because I'd been giving myself a double dose because they didn't fucking tell me how much to inject into myself so I had to guess 😅😅😅😅😭😭😭😭😭😭

I feel like absolute shit I feel so sick and exhausted and I haven't been able to sleep lately because I'm in so much pain and can't ever find a comfortable position and my restless leg syndrome has been so insanely bad idkkkkkk it's just so stupid I honestly can't wait for my surgery next week because I'll be taking two weeks off to recover lmao............if my surgery even happens lol who fucking knows!!!! and like yeah I'll feel way better dysphoria-wise but I'll also be post-surgery lol so physically I'm probably going to feel even worse than I do now!!!!!!!!! why am I aliiiiivvvveeeeeeeeeeeee

[running-in-the-dark]

Well. I somehow got almost everything done for my birthday party tomorrow. Except. I've now fucked up my back so bad that every little movement hurts. A lot. Which is wonderful timing, right before my birthday and Christmas 😭😭😭

[aeide-thea]

i'm never knowingly going to reblog a post that includes the phrase 'touch grass,' and that's not because i don't think it can be psychologically beneficial to get in some outdoor time if possible—i went for a walk earlier! it was great!—or to take a break from conversations that are getting you wound up, but because i think that particular wording generally reveals two things:

first, that the writer is speaking not from a place of genuine concern and sympathy, but from judgmental impatience à la 'get therapy,' which—i too have felt judgmental and impatient in my time, god knows! but when i feel that way i try to go unpack those feelings in private with a thoughtful friend, instead of pretending they constitute a source of wisdom or a helpful sort of energy to direct at people, you know? and i'm definitely not particularly interested in boosting a ventpost from someone else—who pretty clearly hasn't bothered to take the breather they're urging on others, if they're making little digs like that—as if it were actually sincere, carefully-reasoned advice.

and second, that the writer's argument embraces some seriously sloppy assumptions, which pretty immediately undermines my trust in the rest of their analysis—i mean, there's absolutely no guarantee someone's local scene will be any less parochial, just because it's playing out irl! there's also not actually a clean divide between 'people who spend time in the Real World' and 'people who spend time on the internet, which is for porn losers,' as demonstrated by a number of phenomena including, again, the aforementioned grass-recommenders' own presence right here on tumblr…

anyway. obviously we all have our own particular lines we draw around particular rhetoric that bugs us! these are just some reasons why that particular phrasing bugs me.

[centi-pedve]

this is going to seem absolutely nonsensical but ahospice has an underactive thyroid and you cannot tell us otherwise. undiagnosed of course

[vulpinesaint]

in other news i get two weeks of summer break!!! :D i thought my summer classes were going to just lead me straight into school again but i do actually get some breathing room before it all starts up once more :D

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

The worst thing about my brain being an autopilot grammar nazi is that every single time I see people misuse “it’s” and “its” as well as apostrophe placements is that I don’t want to be rude and correct people... but my brain still is like UGH THIS IS THE WORST.

“It’s” and “Its” are more just my brain going weeo weeo on me when that’s a more understandable one bc “its” is literally the exception to a rule (because “it’s” actually means “it is”, so to avoid it being used for two meanings the apostrophe is removed for ownership cases), but when I see apostrophes before an S for plural wording and I know they speak English properly I’m just like. ugh. damn. bruh. please. go back to school.

Less severe cases of incorrect apostrophe use tends to be like, when people are playing Heroes and have duplicates of units and are like “my Ike’s” instead of “my Ikes”, because I think people are trying to... make it more clear that it’s referring to more than one? I think? Maybe? Or they literally just don’t realize it’s incorrect grammar, idk lol. Still can’t get past my weeo weeo autopilot brain though sadly.

LIKE. IT’S NOT ANYONE’S FAULT THAT MY BRAIN IS WEEO WEEO, IT JUST IS.

Which speaking of Heroes, FE in general seems to have its script in every single game ever coded to always use apostrophes for ownership cases even when the word ends in S, so don’t worry folks. IntSys isn’t getting off scot free from my brain either LOL. No amount of “princess’s” is ever gonna fly with my weeo weeo brain.

this has been a psa

mainly a psa of my brain weeo weeos