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asukamood · 2 years

Text

Argument

Warnings: Angst, like heavy angst. Blue being extremely bad at emotions and relationships with people, triggered PTSD, Blue rejecting reflection, him also being unable to think a healthy relationship is possible and a hella lot of tears. Mostly Blue centric.

Synopsis: Blue’s ability to understand how emotions and relationships work is like his birthday, a joke. He one day decided to sneak into an off-limits room to distract himself from a slight problem and Dream, who caught him red-handed, is not happy about that. Initially angry, the latter quickly turns horrified because Blue accidentally breaks something important to him. What followed is simple, Dream starts to ignore Blue’s attempts to contact him and the latter is terrified of the other leaving him alone. Now, how will this predicament end exactly?

3747 words as an apology to dying. I’ve never felt more single in my entire life.

***

There’s a room in Justice Reigns that is forbidden for almost anyone to step in. It is so well kept in fact that even Ink, Dream’s right hand, was forbidden access to it too. Very few people knew why Dream didn’t want anyone to go into that room and even fewer people had enough guts to question the CEO so most people simply ignored its existence, avoiding it at all costs in fear of attracting the wrath of the radiant. Dream was calm and composed most of the time but the thought of having him angry was enough to make most people shiver so no one dared to.

No one, apart of course from Blue.

He was a strange specimen, to say the least. No one knew where he came from and if he had any family, or what his surname was. A lot had the suspicion that his name was a fake one too but no proof ever came to support that theory. But the strangest thing about him may be his ability to get information on people.

Many have testified a certain… discomfort when talking to him. They said he had that strange smile that told them he knew exactly what they were going to say or how they were going to behave, he was also aware of their personal life and their past which freaked people out.

You see, Blue is a pretty curious man, fascinated by the human mind and all that it encompasses. But his curiosity was only just one factor of two, the other reason why he always made sure to gather so much information on people before talking to them was simply to make sure he wouldn’t say something upsetting or so.

Despite his extroverted nature, Blue didn’t get to have that many social interactions and doesn’t have many friends either if at all. Papyrus had always made sure to make his life a living inferno without any way of escaping so it was only natural for him not to let Blue be able to talk to anyone.

Then, he was stuck inside the anti-void for quite some time before finally being able to move around. That’s when he met Myriad, well, Error. He was his first-ever friend so it was expected that he would mess up quite a bit on the first try. Messing up he did, because of everything he has gone through, he had the mindset of breaking people before they could break him but the worst thing? He isn’t even aware of it as reflection scares the living life out of him.

It could be of fear to discover he’s way more similar to his brother than he would like, or maybe he’s simply scared of the things he would discover about himself. Either way, he isn’t conscious of his actions and genuinely believes that he has done nothing wrong.

Of course, this couldn’t be any more wrong as he did give Error PTSD by trying to ‘help’ him. He had good intentions but growing up in such an abusive environment does things to a person so he had no clue on how to properly help, thus causing this entire dilemma.

It caused Error to leave and since he refuses to talk to Blue, the latter has no idea what he did wrong. Not being quite an expert in relationships with people, he simply assumed that one wrong move would drive the person to leave and never come back.

It’s a well-known fact that Blue loathes silence with every cell in his body, but another that may be overlooked is that he is lonely. Even when surrounded by people, that nagging feeling of being by oneself kept haunting him so that’s why he was so overjoyed when he discovered that being in Dream’s presence lessened that feeling considerably.

Whether it was because of his aura or his actions in general, Blue couldn’t give less of a damn. He did care, however, when he realized that he was falling in love. At first, it was surprising and confusing, and while most people would have freaked out rolling on their bed and crying, Blue instead found it curious and just went on with his usual flirting. The only real change is that his flirts now had true meaning and weren’t just thrown around for fun.

It took Dream a painfully long time to get the hint and an even longer time for him to accept going out with Blue, and while the latter did want to bang his head on the wall multiple times during that, he can safely say that the wait was worth it. Ever since he was with Dream, he had never felt so happy in his entire life.

Something was starting to feel amiss though. While he still wanted to stay with him, he felt some… changes in his feelings about Dream. In the beginning, he would feel butterflies in his stomach every time the winged man touched him in any way and while he did still feel some kind of satisfaction when that happened, it wasn’t like before. The butterflies were gone.

When he realized that, he freaked out. Dream was his first-ever love interest and partner so, like his friendship with Error, he was bound not to understand what was happening and assumed he was beginning to fall out of love. That got him to panic even more as he had no clue on how to deal with this and instead of asking for help, he did what most of us would do in times of a problem arising, he pretended like the problem didn’t exist.

But for that to work well, he needed a distraction and he has heard a lot about that room and all the entry restrictions. His decision was made pretty quickly.

He knew that this room once belonged to the late Ani, a very good ‘friend’ of Dream in the past, which was why he didn’t want anyone inside it. By making people leave that room alone, it felt like they were still with him. Because of that, no one really knew what that room was like, even Blue. He has dug a long way in the JR archives and more, yet, nothing showed up so he absolutely wanted to see it.

He snuck in the room on a Friday afternoon, a beautiful day when the sun was out and smiling with a pleasant breeze accompanying its rays to caress your cheek occasionally. He looked around, not finding anything particular about it apart from that one wooden box placed on top of the desk.

His interest picked, he approached to open it but just as he did that, he heard the familiar sound of teleporting behind him. He didn’t think much about it and just let out an usual greeting paired with the good old pet name Angel.

He didn’t really fear Dream’s reaction at finding him here since the latter had let him touch and look at extremely confidential documents before without batting an eyelid. While he was expecting to be scolded a little, he didn’t think that Dream would get this upset at him.

The winged man didn’t greet him back.

“What are you doing here?” He finally let out, hardly contained anger in his voice. That got Blue to stop focusing on the box and instead turn around, confused at his reaction.

“I was curious?” He felt lost now. Was he actually mad?

“You were curious?” Dream repeated, starting to shake. “You know that room is off-limits Blue, give me a reason as to why you’re here and one that I can accept.” He stepped closer and Blue’s lungs found that time absolutely perfect to give up on him.

He took a step back, forcing himself to suck in a deep breath. He was safe. Dream wouldn’t hurt him. He had to breathe.

The other’s mouth moved but Blue didn’t— actually no, he couldn’t hear him. He took another step toward him and in response, Blue another one back.

He bumped into the table, which made the wooden box stumble from the shock and fall to the ground. Due to its age, it was quick to shatter into pieces, bringing a necklace down with it.

Blue jumped away from the noise, his panic only increasing farther at that. Dream wasn’t going to hurt him, he wasn’t going to harm him. He had to breathe. These thoughts repeated in his head like a mantra as he watched Dream’s expression going from one to shock and then to one of horror as he hurried to collect what remained of the box.

He slowly turned to glance at Blue, a mix of anger and hurt on his eyes. He seemed ready to shout but upon seeing Blue’s expression, he inhaled and exhaled deeply, forcing himself to at least remain civil.

“I think it would be better if you left now.” He returned his attention to the wooden carcass across the floor, mindlessly trying to put it back together.

“Dream I—“

“Please.” He squeaked out with a voice crack at Blue’s unresponsiveness, which finally got the other to go away.

***

He fucked up. So bad.

It was Sunday afternoon now and during the entire time, Blue hadn’t got any kind of message from Dream. He had tried to call him, multiple times actually, but all of his calls were left unanswered just as his texts had been.

He liked to think of himself as someone who didn’t cry much, but the knowledge that he had hurt Dream, breaking something that was probably important to him, and the possibility of him leaving him for good made him let out any tears he could possibly shed.

His unanswered calls really weren’t helping him feel better, it actually made him feel even worse.

He was pacing back and forth in his room now, his phone resting on his desk as he debated whether or not he should retry calling him or see him directly. He hasn’t tried that one yet but it was mostly because he didn’t want to make things worse than it already was.

He was on his 26th circle around his room when his phone suddenly vibrated violently, shaking the desk. Not expecting that, Blue was shocked at first, flinching at the noise.

After two seconds of processing why his phone would vibrate like that, Blue’s eyes suddenly widened and he hurried to it, snatching it off the table. He was honestly expecting his hope to be crushed down immediately, perhaps it was just a notification that he received on a random app and he would have to go back to wallowing in despair alone in his room.

But no, his phone lit up to a text notification with the name “Angel boy 💛” written in a big bold font. He took a deep breath and prepared himself psychologically before letting his eyes wander down to the rest of the pop-up.

I want to talk to you.

That… wasn’t going to end well, was it? Well at least he didn’t write “we need to talk” so perhaps there was still a chance for things to go well?

Is it okay if I come to your house at 6? It’s fine if not, I can try to contact you tomorrow if that’s the case.

Oh absolutely not. He didn’t spend two entire days waiting impatiently just to end up waiting another day again.

He swiped on the message to access it, unlocked his phone before typing furiously on the screen.

Yes, it’s fine. I’ll be there.

Three fading dots appeared on the screen and he held his breath in expectation.

I’ll see you later then, I still have work to do.

He clicked on the writing bar but instead of typing, his fingers hovering over the keys without ever touching them. He was extremely tempted to answer “don’t overwork yourself this time, take care Angel” like he usually would but he didn’t really know if he really had the right to now.

He groaned in frustration before finally typing it and sending it.

The dots appeared and disappeared for an entire minute.

I won’t, you take care too.

***

It was 5:50. Dream was going to come any moment now and before that, Blue was dead set on being prepared for any kind of scenario. He had gone over all possible scenarios possible and settled for three that were likely to happen.

Scenario A: Dream would break up with him but at least he had the decency to do it in person rather than with a text.

Scenario B: Dream wouldn’t officially break up but would tell him to never show up in front of his face ever again and would give him the silent treatment until he was satisfied with his suffering.

Scenario C: Full on fight.

He didn’t like any of these scenarios but from the state of things, they were the most likely to happen and he definitely did not want to have a mental breakdown in front of Dream if they were to happen. He had a solution for each scenario and had carefully thought of every reply to tell him, rehearsing the lines in his head like a mantra.

In the middle of his rehearsal, the doorbell rang which almost made him jump out of his skin. He was here, like, right now.

“Coming!” He shouted out, speed walking to the door. When his hand found the handle, Blue noticed just how much he was shaking. He was going to have to fix that quickly. He took a sharp inhale before swinging the doors open, revealing the one he has been thinking about without rest for the past two days.

He hardly looked any better than Blue did which kinda reassured the latter in some kind of twisted way. Dream’s lips awkwardly curved upward in a crooked smile as he let out a quiet “Hello” that was so low Blue must have been the only one to hear it.

For a moment, he had the insane urge to throw himself in his arms and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. To pretend like Dream’s awkwardness was due to not yet being used to taking him on a date and not because of a fight. But this probably would have made everything worse if Blue’s scenarios were accurate so instead, he smiled back as awkwardly as he did, greeting him back.

He stepped aside and let Dream enter before closing the door behind them, his heart thumping loudly inside of his rib cage. They both stepped into the living room without a word, before sitting down side by side on one of the couches.

Blue was trying to hide his fidgeting as much as he could but at least he wasn’t the only one nervous, he noticed Dream playing with his fingers in the corner of his eyes. “So, you wanted to talk to me?” He finally said, breaking the silence.

Dream nodded, the playing of his fingers getting more intense. “Yeah. I wanted to say that-“ He frowned and looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Blue froze, his brain seemingly short circuiting. Wait what? That was not one of the options… Maybe this is a prequel to scenario B? It must be it right? “… What for?” Or perhaps it was scenario A instead? Maybe he was apologizing for leaving him?

“Well first for ghosting you like that, that wasn’t very nice of me.” Blue didn’t really blame him for that, if Dream had broken something important to Blue he wouldn’t forgive him that easily either. It was already a wonder that he came to talk to him so soon, even though it felt like an eternity to Blue. “But most importantly… I wanted to apologize for yelling at you like that. I didn’t want to scare you, I was just… mad.”

Seeing that Blue wasn’t saying anything, he continued rambling. “I’m really sorry for the way I acted, I probably reminded you of… not so lovely memories and I—“

Before he could finish his sentence, Blue held up a finger to his lips, successfully shutting him up. “You’re… Not going to leave?”

Dream paused, he apparently wasn’t expecting that question and especially not the way it was said. “No, of course not.” He replied softly as Blue let out the breath he was holding.

“Why would I?” His golden eyes were filled with confusion, like the idea has never once crossed his mind. “While I would have liked you to ask me before doing what you did, it didn’t change the way I feel about you. As for the box… well, it’s not like you meant to break it. Plus, the most important item didn’t get damaged beyond repair so I’m not too mad. Although, you should really ask next time instead of sneaking—“

He abruptly stopped talking, concern making its way on his face. The winged man cupped the other’s cheek and it’s at that moment that Blue realized his vision was unusually blurry and that something wet was rolling down his cheek. He was crying.

“Are you okay?” His lips trembled for a few seconds before he threw himself at the other, burying his face into his shoulder and sobbing on the fabric. As a response, Dream circled his arms around his waist and rubbed little circles on his back with his hand, letting him cry freely.

“I’m sorry.” He managed to choke out between sobs, squeezing Dream tighter into his arms. “I thought you-“ A hiccup. “I thought you would have started hating me because of—“

“Blue.” Dream cut him off, slightly pushing him off of him to make him look him in the eye. Blue sniffled, his teary gaze met Dream’s stoned one.

“I’m gonna tell you something and you’ll listen to me really well okay?” The shorter one nodded, nuzzling Dream’s palm while waiting.

“I love you. I really love you which means that it doesn’t matter what happens. We may get into a fight like this week, we may mutually screw up, we may want to take a break from each other for some time but I’ll always come back to you, no matter what.

I may not feel the same way I did before with all the butterflies and stuff but I’m staying anyway because I want to stay. You have your flaws, your imperfections and other points of view that I don’t agree with. I see them, I’m not ignoring them, but I choose you anyway because you’re the one I want.

You could screw me a thousand times over, I would just come back a thousand times over. You could hurt my feelings a hundred times but I would forgive you each time because for better or for worse, you’re the one I love. There will be times when you hurt me, and there will be times when I hurt you. We’re imperfect but it doesn’t matter, we’re going to go past it and find a solution to the problem, together.

Whether it’s your best or your worst, I love you either way. Because when you truly love someone you’ll accept both flaws and qualities because those two things are what makes us humans. I’ll cry with you when you are, I’ll laugh when you’ll smile, I’ll comfort you in your losses and celebrate your successes and I know you’ll do the same for me, because I trust you.

I would tell you about my biggest fears, my wildest dreams, my hardest memories, pretty much everything and I know you’ll listen without any judgment because again, I trust and love you.

I don’t need to worry about you cheating or getting mad at me for a petty reason because I know that you’re not like that and that you wouldn’t do this to me. You have your issues but that’s fine, so do I. I know that I would tell you if you do anything that makes me uncomfortable and you’ll do your best to fix that, and I also know that you’ll do so as well.

Our relationship is not perfect, but it’s the one I want.

In five, ten or even twenty years, I’ll stay by your side if you’ll let me because I’ll want to.

I don’t feel the same way I did about you the first time I saw you but I now feel something that runs even deeper down. I may have lost the butterflies but I certainly didn’t lose my fear of watching you leave.

I don’t care what will happen next because I want to keep loving you, forever.”

Dream took a deep breath after that, cheeks coloured red. He smiled softly at Blue who was furiously wiping at his eyes.

“You’re seriously going to be the death of me one day.” He huffed, hugging him again. Then, he straightened up in a way that made his mouth stand right next to his ear. A quiet ‘thank you’ was let out, a thousand emotions swelling together in his voice. But Dream was right, they were going to be okay. “I love you too, so much, you have no idea.”

The blond hummed. “That wasn’t too cheesy though was it?”

“Oh it totally was but I love that, you should say those types of things more often.” Dream let out an embarrassed laugh, he would never be able to say those things on a daily basis, even with training. “Although… I really am sorry about the box and going inside the room without permission. I—“

Dream shut him up with a kiss. “I’ve already forgiven you, let it go already.”

Blue nodded but his expression immediately switched to a pout. “Alright but you definitely owe me warm cuddles. For the next two days I demand double the usual cuddles to make up for the last two.”

The winged man let out a laugh, the noise sounding like Heaven’s bells in Blue’s perspective. Dream pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before mindlessly playing with his hair. “That won’t be any problem.”

“And Dream?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

“I must have heard that twice since the last ten minutes sweetheart.”

“Important things should always be said twice so in that sense, Dream Dream—“

“Oh stop it you doof, you’re gonna make me blush.”

“Please, you know you love it.”

“You’re the one who said it, of course I will.”

#dreamswap #ds dream #fluff #angst #ship #dream #ds blue #drueswap #ds dreamberry #ds drue #ds drueswap #ds dream x ds blue #i need more content about this ship #i will go down with this ship #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #good lord this is long #they both need therapy

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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good evening

could you tell us what it's like where you come from? how does that wolrd look? do you miss it?

Haha, yeah, I do miss it! But I don't really wish I had been born there – I don't have any sense of longing for the "old country," as it were. I've heard people say things like "oh, I miss my hometown so much, I wish I could go back" and it just doesn't feel that way for me.

The reason I don't post about it too much is mostly that I'm not really sure how to describe it, at least in a way that will be interesting to most of the people reading this blog. This is partly because I don't have a good sense of what my experiences are "like" for most people – I don't know whether I grew up in a particularly unusual way or whether most people's childhoods had similarly strange elements. (The weird home life I had is probably part of it.)

I'll see if I can say a little more, anyway.

I grew up in Portland, Oregon. There's a lot of weirdness there. It's a weird place in a lot of ways. It's got the same relationship to the rest of the West Coast as San Francisco does. It doesn't really feel like the Pacific Northwest to me, but it definitely feels like something. (Many people like it, it's just not for me.) And it has, like, those Portland stereotypes about hippies and so on, but there's a sort of credibility to that, I think? Like, there are a lot of wooey-sounding people, but not all of them are crunchy-granola types, just as not all of the grinchy-granolas are unusually crazy.

Some of the main features of my childhood that I think may have influenced me were that I was very much isolated from other people, and that my family life was extremely unstable. It was never exactly bad, but it was never really good, either. Lots of little problems, combined into a large aggregate problem, although my parents do a lot of shit that I can't complain about even now.

Both these things were related. My parents had no other family in the area, and had a hard time making friends. But I think that my family life would have been bad anyway, because even when I was a kid, I was already weird. I'm still extremely weird, but I think I have fewer interpersonal problems than I used to.

I guess I've always just had a lot of trouble controlling what I say and how I say it. I can't resist saying what I think, and I tend to say things in a way that people find difficult to accept. I have a pretty sharp "edge," and I have a lot of ideas that people find to be off-putting. I also have a low self-esteem, and I think that is part of what leads to my tendency to say things before I can think them through. I'm not saying this to complain, just to give a sense of what it's like.

I was also a precocious kid, which I think has influenced me a lot. And by this I mean, more than just being unusually intelligent or unusually good at school (though I was both of those) – I mean that I've always just had this uncanny feeling that I understood things in some profound way, that I had some special kind of connection to the world that let me see things in a new light.

I don't think this feeling has ever been very accurate, exactly. And I think this is part of why I've grown out of it to some extent – I see now that I'm wrong in some of my ideas a lot, and that I'm not always "seeing things in a new light," I'm just not seeing things very clearly. But my childhood self was very sure that he was getting things, and that helped me hold onto a certain vision of the world as something that could be understood in a way that other people weren't seeing.

(I feel like I'm skirting around things here, but I don't know how to combine all this in one coherent statement. Or I could, I suppose, but then it would be very long.)

Anyway. I'm sure there are many other things that could be said, but I don't think I can say them really well, and it probably doesn't matter that much. When I was growing up, I used to think that there was something wrong with me because I didn't fit in, but I've grown out of that now. I now believe that there are many things wrong with me, but none of them were, really, wrong with me. They were just my natural ways of being, the way I am.

And it's true, when I look back, it seems like I had so much and the world was so horrible, but if you asked me to go back in time and ask myself what I would do instead, I probably wouldn't do anything. The world was not really all that terrible. The bad parts were painful at the time, but this seems to be the same for everyone. I do have a tendency to say that I was somehow better than everyone else, which is probably not true, but I suspect it's mostly because I was lucky in a certain way – my problems, when they existed, were problems that could be solved by being very stubborn, but a lot of people are very unlucky in similar ways.

Is any of this of interest to the people reading this? I don't know, but that's a very old question.

#duodipersponsh

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aeoki · 1 year

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School Festival ☆ Tamayori’s Haunted Dollhouse - Chapter 8

Location: Hallway (In Front of Haunted House) Characters: Mika & Shuu

< A few hours later. >

Mika: Oshi-san, look, look! The line is huge~♪

Shuu: So what of it? You find joy in seeing a line? You truly are odd.

Mika: Ahaha… It’s not that. I was just happy to see the flyers were successful.

Shuu: Right, you and the two in “2wink” went off to hand out flyers, didn’t you? And that’s how you got Rei to help.

Mika: Yeah. The “Butler Cafe” is a huge success. There were around the same amount of people– no, maybe even more, linin’ up for it.

Ehehe, no wonder he’s your friend, Oshi-san ♪

Shuu: And what of it? …Good grief, don’t make me repeat myself.

You’re innocently pleased with everything but did you forget our reason for taking part in the “School Festival”? We’re doing this to win that reward for the best booth or performance.

The Boy said second and third place will also be rewarded.

But to think my creation will stand second or third best won’t make me happy at all. If anything, it would feel like an insult and I’d be extremely offended.

Mika: Yeah, I haven’t forgotten. But, you know~ Don’t you get happy seein’ your friend’s booth doin’ well?

It looks like Naru-chan’s booth is doin’ well too. Naru-chan told me about her booth and I felt happy since it sounded like I was there too ♪

Oshi-san, yer okay not payin’ a visit to the “Butler Cafe”? You went to see the Drama Club’s performance 'cause yer friend was performin’, right?

Shuu: Wataru invited me to watch so I had no choice but to go. Ahh, I suppose that isn’t quite right. I went to see how the outfit turned out and I watched the play while I was at it.

Mika: Geez, you sure are fussed about the trivial things… There’s nothin’ wrong with watchin’ a performance yer friend is in. I guess rather than being fussed about the details, you can be kinda difficult at times, huh.

But I also like that part about you, Oshi-san…♪

Shuu: Don’t create such a creepy atmosphere.

In any case, that’s the reason why I went to watch the performance. Ahh, just recalling it is embarrassing. If there is a hole, I would like to enter it.

Mika: Ngh, really? I thought it was really pretty ♪

The main actor who played Cinderella was a boy but they looked just like a girl… That means the outfit you made was really well made, right, Oshi-san?

Shuu: Hmph. You can fool a lot of people with makeup.

Mika: You might be right, but… If yer sayin’ yer embarrassed, I think the actor playin’ Cinderella must have been even more embarrassed.

Ahh, is that why their movements were kinda stiff? Your friend, “Ryuu-kun” was also movin’ really stiffly.

Shuu: That was simply lousy acting. Well, Wataru prefaced it by saying it was “truly a comedy”, so I suppose it was rather brilliant and successful as one.

But I don’t watch comedy so I don’t actually know if it was truly outstanding or not.

It seems the performance went smoothly so I’m sure Wataru was satisfied with just that.

Wataru won’t cut corners when it comes to theatre.

The actor who played Cinderella stood on stage until the very end and wasn’t forced to exit the stage in the middle, so I’m sure he is someone up to Wataru’s standards.

Mika: Ahaha, that sounds like one of yer friends, Oshi-san…♪

Oh… if we keep talkin’ outside the haunted house, people will think we’re in line.

Oshi-san, let’s go somewhere quiet.

Oh, but break time is almost up, huh. It’s a shame but we’ve gotta head back.

Shuu: It’s too early. Besides, we’ll be the ones to scare those visitors.

I don’t like noise. We can return to our work once there are fewer visitors.

Mika: Then, where do you wanna go? Hmm~ The “Butler Cafe”?

Shuu: Why that? It seems it’s made quite a name for itself as the sweets are exquisite and the tea is perfect, however.

The one who provided them with the tea leaves is none other than that damned Tenshouin! Ahh, I feel disgusted just mentioning his name!

If I could kill someone by cursing them to death, I’d say his name over and over again! Tenshouin, Tenshouin, damned Tenshouin!

Mika: O-Oshi-san, don’t make such a fuss so loudly~ Everyone’s wonderin’ what’s goin’ on and lookin’ our way! Nghh, I feel embarrassed just feelin’ their stares on me…!

Shuu: Embarrassed? Don’t say something ridiculous. You’re a failure as an idol if you don’t like attention.

Mika: No, it’s not that! A-Anyway, let’s get outta here!

Shuu: I don’t mind moving elsewhere, but where?

Mika: Huh? I’ll go wherever you wanna go, Oshi-san ♪

Shuu: You’re a doll with no independent will… I’ll rephrase that: Where do you want to go?

Mika: Ngh? Like I said, I wanna go where you wanna go, Oshi-san?

Shuu: I watched Wataru’s play already so there’s nowhere else I wish to go.

Mika: What? Nn~ That’s troublin’. If that’s the case, then I’ll decide where we go but is that okay?

Shuu: Will you not understand unless I say, “Do whatever you want. I’ll go with you to the places you want to visit.”? What a failure of a doll.

Mika: Sorry, Oshi-san. I don’t have much of a brain, so I won’t understand unless you tell it to me straight.

Ehehe… Then, let’s go outside. There'll probably be some stalls there. It’ll be a lotta fun~♪

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#tamayori

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the-world-annealing · 2 years

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(Inspired vaguely by @slatestarscratchpad's Columbian Exchange)

Ephemero: Excuse me, sir? Could you step aside for a second? I'm here to take down that statue and you're blocking my access.

Permanento: Never!

Ephemero: Hey, I'm just doing my job here!

Permanento: I don't care! City hall is really letting a few activists pressure them in removing the statue of general Nyrkoson, who lost his life guarding our borders from the Yorvardian invasion?

Ephemero: Well, if you're going to make this about his actions, he also killed and tortured prisoners, sent Yorvardian war orphans off to foreign lands for adoption, and popularized the use of nerve gas. Back when they built this statue nobody might have minded, but today we're enlightened enough to reject those actions, and the man who perpetuated them!

Permanento: Oh, sure, by our modern standards general Nyrkoson isn't a great person, but it's not about that! Statues aren't supposed to be an endorsement and display of those heroes who we still revere today! Statues are a way to trick rational egomaniacs into serving the common cause!

Ephemero: What? I thought you were going to make an argument about judging people by 'the values of their time', but this doesn't quite sound like it. Carry on?

Permanento: There's a group of people - a pretty large group, actually - that just doesn't care about others, won't lift a finger to help them, just cares about their own sense of greatness and importance. So society says, 'hey, if you are a prosocial champion of our values, if you make sacrifices to advance them, and accomplish great things, then we'll give you a statue to honor your deeds into the far future'. There's other stuff to it too, but let's use the statue as a symbol for now. And know what, it works! Off the egoists go to cure disease, right wrongs, even give their own lives: all for the chance at eternal heroism. If we start knocking down statues, we're changing the bargain to 'advance our values and we shall honor you until those values cease to appeal to us': that's a much worse deal!

Ephemero: Is it? Sure, you're getting fewer glory-seeking heroes, but you're getting better ones, right?

Permanento: Elaborate?

Ephemero: Well, imagine the 1800s. From your own, modern perspective, would you want the honored heroes of the 1800s to be its greatest doctors, or its greatest politicians?

Permanento: I'd imagine the doctors hold up a bit better? I like medicine, but a lot of 1800s politicians were pretty racist. I have no trouble admitting that, just as I'm fine with admitting Nyrkoson shouldn't get honored if he lived today.

Ephemero: Exactly! And people in the 1800s could have figured that out! They know that political trends come and go, but pretty much every society honors great medical achievements! But under your system, the egomaniacs don't really care: as long as they get a statue before their politics get too outdated, they're good! On the other hand, if their accomplishments must be justified to all future civilizations, then the medical track looks a lot better all of a sudden. We would still encourage greatness: just the greatness we like best!

Permanento: Now hold on! In the present day, that means people won't support present-day values: they will support the values of the society they imagine to be dominant for the coming centuries. I want heroes to serve our values, not those of their imaginary future-dwellers!

Ephemero: Well, predicting the future is hard, so they'll probably look at current-day causes that are steadily growing in support, or all-time success stories. Certainly, nobody who wants to become one of posterity's heroes would serve causes dwindling in popularity, like homophobia!

Permanento: Or nuclear power?

Ephemero: Fair; I am assuming that on the whole, society is getting more correct on the big issues over time. But even if we aren't, and norms never neatly converge on truth, that's just more reason to stick with the all-time favorites: feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, curing the sick!

Permanento: Well, that's a very interesting philosophy, but there's one thing you haven't thought about, and it poses a major problem.

Ephemero: Which is?

Permanento: If you ever spread this philosophy far enough: enough for it to become an actual widespread ideal, enough for a public debate to start along the same lines as mine and yours, arguing whether or not statues should stand forever...

Ephemero: Oh.

Permanento: ...what side do you think all the driven, glory-obsessed egomaniacs will flock to support?

Ephemero: "I'm still going to need to take Nyrkoson down." Permanento: "No can do: I'm hoping this bullheaded resistance get me immortalized by future statue-lovers."

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uboat53 · 1 year

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Over the last… well, it's been a while… I've been thinking about the issue of women's rights and I think I've come to a realizing in that thought process that speaks to… well, all rights. So I'll do what I usually do, write it out to see if it still makes sense and then share it with people to see if they think of things I missed. Ready for a LONG RANT (TM)?

INTRODUCTION

I think we can all agree that women's rights are still a work in progress. On paper, women are equal in most of the western world, but I think most women would agree that there are fewer paths for career advancement, higher expectations of child-rearing and homemaking, and general misogyny pretty much all around. And, of course, there's the fact that most people in the world don't live in the west and women are even less equal in those parts of the world.

So, given all of that, I find myself wondering what would a truly gender-equal society look like and what would it take to get us there?

THE SOCIETAL

I think we can all agree that a good deal of what makes women unequal today is societal. When men don't promote women because they think that men are superior, that's because of how they were brought up in our society. When a woman is expected to stay home to take care of a child instead of work, that's an expectation of society. When a man attacks women because he feels that he's being denied female attention that he deserves, that's a message he gleaned from some part of our society.

I'm sure you could think of a thousand more examples, but that's exactly the point; a lot of what drives the inequality of women isn't inherent to anything, it's just a function of our society. In other words, it's an artificial construct we could change if we were willing to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not saying it's easy. The progress we've made in the last century or so has been extraordinarily grinding and each step along the way has been like pulling teeth. But we've still done it. We have a lot more to go, but I think it's fair to say that the vast majority of issues in this category are solvable given the necessary time and effort.

THE BIOLOGICAL

On the other hand, there are also biological causes of women's inequality. No matter how equal we make our society, we are stuck with the reality that only one gender is required to undergo 9 months of massive bodily changes along with a substantial recovery period and all of the associated risk included with that in order to produce a child.

We are also stuck with the fact that, in daily life, there are far more complications, such as debilitating periods, associated more with female reproductive organs than male ones. Certainly this can be mitigated with better women's health care (a societal problem), but even then, the requirement to seek out health care is a burden that would fall unequally.

In other words, there are fundamental factors that are not the deliberate creation of human beings that would continue to impact the equality of women even if we were to completely address all of the factors that were the deliberate creation of humans.

THE MORAL QUANDARY

This raises the question: how should we deal with that? It certainly brings to mind the cartoon contrasting Equality, Equity, and Justice in which "Justice", the removal of structural burdens, may be impossible to achieve. Does that mean that Equity must be the goal?

I'll admit I don't have a great answer for that, but it does bring up an even broader question: how do we think we should approach situations in which the reason for inequality is out of the control of the individual and even society?

I mean, I think that there is a general agreement that a person affected by something through no fault of their own deserves consideration, even if we disagree about people who have some control over what happens to them, right? But what does that actually mean?

THE MORAL UNIVERSE

At the end of the day, what it comes down to is the question "is the universe moral?" And it turns out that that's a tougher question than it might seem.

You see, the obvious answer is "no". I think anyone who observes little kids with cancer, natural disasters, dictators, and any of the untold number of other bad things that happen to good people and good things that happen to bad people would have to admit that the universe, if it adheres to a morality at all, does not adhere to any form of morality accepted by human beings.

Yet, despite that, most people seem to hold tight to the belief that the universe, meaning the natural world as opposed to humanity, is moral, usually through some sort of religion or spirituality. What this means is that there is always some inclination toward the idea that any sort of misfortune springing from sources beyond a person's control is somehow "deserved", and this affects how we are willing to work to counteract it.

CONCLUSION

The more I think about it, the more I become convinced that true equality, not just in terms of gender, but in terms of every person being truly free to live to their greatest potential, requires us to let go of the idea that the universe/god/the-natural-world is moral. Only once we accept that morality is entirely a human invention (or, at least, an invention of sapient life) can we acknowledge that we have the responsibility, morally, to mitigate the immoral outcomes that occur naturally.

I don't think this is going to happen soon, in my experience people don't believe in the inherent morality of the universe because it's a well-reasoned position but because the idea that the universe is not inherently moral absolutely terrifies people to the point where they will accept just about any argument in order to avoid having to believe it.

What do you think? Am I missing something here?

#women's rights #philosophy #morality #long rant (tm)

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newluddite · 2 years

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Anti-Vaxxers I know.

Well the particular person I am thinking of I knew quite some time ago. She is my ex-sister-in-law. My brother divorced her years ago which bankrupted him, and left him only with the satisfaction that he was free of her. They had two now adult children a son and a daughter.

The son was a PO in the US Navy and did several tours in the Persian Gulf including a stint as a Marine Corps Sergeant. His navy rank was equal to Sergeant and he was a qualified medic so the wet navy loaned him to the grunts.

The daughter just had a son of her own so my brother is now a grandfather.

So now on to my ex-s-i-l the anti-vaxxer. She was and is more than a little strange. She is not stupid as she has a University Degree in English and worked for years as a technical manual writer. But she has an amazing ability to not think. If she hears an opinion from someone on something she files it away in her head as another thing she does not have to ever think about.

When she was young she heard someone her dad knew say that Volvos were good cars. Back then they were reliable, tough, and solid safe cars. I think they invented seat belts. Well after that she would refuse to own any other car brand. When my brother wanted a sporty car he got a Toyota, but she refused to ride in it. He was sick of Volvos.

When the young couple were going to build their dream home she found a contractor that someone said was really good. She gave him a big deposit on the work and he disappeared with the money. She refused to believe that it happened, and he would get back and start the job real soon. Never did.

When her mother had a fight with her older sister she would have nothing to do with her for the rest of her life. She objected to her coming to her wedding as she was an enemy. I met her there, and she was very nice, pretty, and did not ride a broom to the event as I was told she would.

My brother went to visit his new descendant and his daughter made sure he was fully vaccinated for all the current nasties in the world. He was so prepared. He lives in Australia where they take health care seriously you know. He was told that his ex was not permitted to visit as she refused to get any vaccines. The new mom inherited some of her mom's stubbornness, but in a good way. No shots no visits.

Good for her. Protect your baby with your life from stupid people.

Volvo girl has even bought into the Bill Gates microchip nonsense. I mean she used to work with engineers and she thinks Moderna is shooting GPS receivers into your blood. Physically impossible nano-bullshit.

So in exchange for being a stubborn misguided person she shall never meet her only grandchild. Sort of basic justice there. I am sure she will never admit her error. I can see her forging vaccination certificates. Maybe even kidnapping. She is that far gone.

Were it not for vaccines there would be a lot fewer live people in the world and many would be crippled. When we were young even kids knew the risks of not getting vaccinations. Now all it takes is a former Porn Actress to blame her child's problem on an imagined vaccine issue rather than her own drug use. Add the social media algorithms that bring bad ideas together with stupidity and here we are.

Volvo girl is not alone. My wife's oldest and dearest friend is a degreed Nurse. She worked in an emergency room, was a small community health administrator, and has all the outward appearance of a smart qualified professional. And she told my wife don't get those vaccines! She read on Brietbart that it was all a global conspiracy blah, blah, blah. This person should know better. But she is easy to persuade to do the wrong things. I could go on to list her ex-boyfriends and a husband as perfect wrong choices.

Some people hear some idea that they like and that is it. Rigid thinking unable to fit in new or better information. Why they pick this or that is a mystery, but once set it is in stone. Stone headed thinking.

This is a symptom of our age. Our age is sick.

#anti vaxxers #global conspiracy #truth

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ov105 · 3 years

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Pool Party

Wrote this to take my mind off the stress of semester’s end. I’ve been thinking about this after going to a pool since August. Since then I’ve gone through a million powerpoints, and created a billion more. It’s not easy being a social sciences student. And I’m here, writing 7,600 words paying attention to my horniness. Humans truly are an odd bunch.

7,644 words

Enjoy.

"Oh yeah, Yujin's inviting you to her pool party later."

Ah, eighteen. The crossing of the Rubicon. Well, when you were seventeen, at least. I just nodded in reply, slipping out "yeah," to a friend while rolling through our textbook. Having forgotten to review the entire chapter, now I have only a thousand won note slipped on its opening page while rushing to reach the conclusions at the back of it. I probably just pushed everybody else's noise behind my head as I scanned the chapter before everything started. I barely memorized anything as I went and fell back to the classic tactic of letting keywords decide my answer. Everything else was a blur after that. The blue hues way above became darker, with the orange light breaking through the window panes as we all waited for 3:30 pm. Before that rang, Yujin came up to me, asking.

"Hey, what's your score?"

"22, you?"

"Higher," she replied, saying it with such proud conviction I almost shared it myself. I knew well I wouldn't score high, yet my brains made it in one piece.

"Good job," Seeing that my little website referral made her life easier earlier.

"Oh yeah, about later, who's coming along?" I asked, a bit puzzled. Perhaps trying to gain more comfort knowing that I may know everyone there, in any case, I get drunk.

"Well, you know, the usual. You're the only other guy there, plus him," she replied, looking in the direction of a friend of ours. A credible crowd and a pool party, nothing can go wrong, right? It will. I was already betting that somebody would jump in the pool in their casual clothes, which was me at the last birthday party I attended.

"Alright, tomorrow's Saturday anyway," I just said, with Yujin nodding in reply as she went back to her seat. I guess she did have a party planned after all.

After that, the bell rang. The bug of getting home had bitten us as our class scrambled to get out, some briskly walking, and some going slow as they caught up with their friends. I had a few conversations about the more mundane things come Monday. I caught the metro on the way home as I saw other batchmates of ours try to crowd themselves into the bus and inevitably get stuck in traffic. It wasn't precisely as stark a difference trying to catch the train, though. Both were still close to jam-packed, even if it's been a year since every whitecoat advised us to stay at least a meter apart. I checked my phone as I clung on while the railcar rocked slightly at a hundred kilometers per hour. Being the fashion terrorist I am, I typed up "casual wear pool party" into the search box, trying to make sure I didn't look like I dressed up last minute, which was what I was going to do.

Coming home, I first jumped into my bed, having an hour or two before the sunset. Getting a good nap before I rolled out of bed, took a bath, and started to make a mess of my cabinet. If I had taken out the time I spent checking my phone, ten would've only been two minutes. The last thing I (or any guy) would do is always stand in front of the mirror, give ourselves a quick scan and pat down. Now is the year of birthday parties for people my age, all of us are turning 18, being in the 12th grade. It's pretty surreal we are to finish high school being seen as adults, but well, we already seem to think we act like one.

Heading into the party, I took what probably was the same train there, though now with a lot fewer people that I could actually take a seat and maybe thought about things for a second as we went over the Han with a view of the 5 pm sunset going through the bridge's beams—matching my thoughts with the thunderous rolling sound of the rail over the girders. I guess now being invited and going alone to Yujin's birthday party wasn't exactly too different when she had her first blowout when she was seven. The last thing we would worry about is if we got our fractions right instead of filling in redundant pages of college application forms.

Though I guess neither is a challenge for Yujin. Her energy never seems to fade. Such is Yudaeng.

But now we were all much older, probably put some booze, and for others, cigarettes and vapes, into the mix, so might as well make the party last tomorrow.

Now, Yujin and I were "equals," as our English tutor told us, that I was her and she was me. I guess it was because I did a lot of the heavy hauling in our more academic and reading-heavy classes. She was a somewhat faster runner and a more coordinated dancer than I was, though. The thing was that I could count more times we were classmates than we weren't, and while commonality wasn't something I would completely describe us, I was almost always her go-to "smart guy" to make sure she wasn't getting another F or D for that matter. Thankless, sure. But I don't complain. It gives me some purpose from time to time. My introspection ended itself as the PA announcement rang, and I had my cue.

I was taking my time walking towards the party, now at some quieter neighborhood across the river, far out of where we lived. It wasn't shady or anything, but it was more subdued. Though I imagined nobody would want to go home later, I imagined what the place would look like at night. As I turned the corner and asked for directions, the lady I asked at the street pointed two floors up a faded white building. The pool was a part of the balcony above it, and what I assumed were the bedrooms below. I knew she was pretty rich, but not this rich, I thought to myself as I paced up the stairs, messaging her on my phone and slipping it in my short pocket.

Turning the final staircase, someone opened the door, and I looked up. It was Yujin, having swapped out the stuffy uniform for a more casual fit, shorts, and a tucked-in loose shirt, but nothing too extraordinary.

"You're a bit late, come on!" she beckoned me as I got up the stairs. I was greeted with a hug and saying another happy birthday as I returned it. It indeed was a chill atmosphere there. The same friend who told me about this was bent over the butane-flame grill trying not to mess the meat up. At the same time, her girlfriends were closer to the pool, an L-shape block of rooms behind it, the kitchen being right beside the staircase, with the pool and kitchen separated a bit by an open area where everybody was. It was comforting knowing every face. Taking a seat and was handed a cola before my neurons even linked to grab my phone and text home that I may just come home late.

Later, I stood up to be the 2nd man on the grill. The music wasn't too loud nor too obnoxious. I'd imagine none of the six of us wanted to confront an angry local breaking the party up. So that was it, two guys and four girls in their conversations as purple skies turned black. Yujin led the girls in laughter, being the fun and the hyperactive person she is. Meanwhile, I was just in banter with my mate while we waited for the meat to cook. We all kept it down a bit and just relaxed after midterms week, the test earlier being a last-minute addition.

"You're almost done?" Yujin asked as she came up.

"Almost, I mean, maybe?" I shrugged before reaching for chopsticks and offering it, "Wanna try?"

"Alright!" she replied with glee as she grabbed it from my hand. She was excited at the prospect of being the first one of us to eat, taking one of the middle pieces and eating it. She approved of it, and about fifteen minutes later, we began to stuff our faces full, maybe with some laughs and banter in between, but soon dying down as we got some more on our bowls, and later the banter came back again. It's been happening more and more now that we're getting back into things, getting used to how people talk and hearing them for who they are instead of conjuring voices that make me sleepless.

Later on, we all decided to take the beer out, though these were of the weak kind. Not that they tasted terrible, but much in the vein of would be called pisswater. Having that right malt taste, but otherwise, the only saving grace was that it was ice cold. I'd rather have an undermixed iced tea, but I digress. It was almost getting late. Ironically it must be the alcohol getting to me. After sitting down for about two hours, we all began to stand up and split up into our corners.

The two girls went by themselves, talking as loudly as usual, then retreated to watch Netflix by themselves. Sliding doors shut, locked—two out.

The lovebirds began the same way, and then a little frisky, then quite handsy. Then one of them just whispered into one another. I just sighed. I just hoped the rooms were soundproofed, taking another sip as their sliding door locked.

I was then alone, taking out my phone and switching data on as I leaned back against the railing.

"You wanna eat?"

"Again?"

"What else are we supposed to do?" Yujin said. To be fair to her, I wanted to ask the same thing. Maybe watching YouTube or sending memes to each other's phones would do.

"There are leftovers, right?" I asked. Putting my leg down as I made the few steps to the kitchen, sliding the door open as Yujin went and probably got something for herself. Taking a seat as the microwave buzzed to life, I was a little surprised when she came back in. She had this smile on her face as if she had uncovered something.

"Dang, you hear them?"

"What about it?"

"They're not having...sex? Right?" she said as she came close and pulled a seat beside me. Oh, you sweet summer puppy.

"They are," I flatly replied, with a chuckle to voice both disbelief and surprise.

The microwave dinged after that, and as I put my fingers under a towel to open it, Yujin decided to test my remembrance of sex education at the worst time possible. She dropped the bomb on me as I put the noodles on the table.

"How does it feel?"

"What do you mean by feel?" I said, air quotes as "feel" left my mouth.

"How'd I know..," I replied, trailing off as my brain started to scramble and cover up the images of months past. I just sighed as Yujin waited on me. To think I was getting nervous being asked about my sex life by an analog nonetheless was just outrageous!

"Well, it feels good, I guess. Everybody's a little nervous at first." I replied, in hindsight, sounding more like a confession. Yujin just sounded wowed. For some reason, perhaps hearing it from a friend does sound different.

"Good? What do you mean by good?" She prodded further, flashing a shy smile as if to trap me.

"Alright, I'm not a writer for nothing," I began, "You know that feeling when almost every hair on your body is raised, not because you're scared, but between it. The point of being nervous, but it feels so damn good. Your brain just gets caught up between feeling that and going instinctively that it, pretty much, freezes."

Her playfulness, having rolled over into curiosity, was only natural. And the honeytrap of asking about my budding sex life had hooked me by that point. Now I had little choice but to continue, though, in my defense, I asked.

"Why are you even asking me this? I'm the worst guy you could ask," I calmly replied, though slightly defensive in my tone.

"What?" she replied, quite ridiculing me, "Haven't had a classmate ask you?"

"The guys, yeah, but the girls? No."

Yujin nodded, then left me hanging, scratching her nose as she looked down on her phone. She was thinking about something. Reaching for the chopsticks and pulling the noodles to me, not long after, I took my first slurp of it. She leaned back in, placed her hand on my thigh, looking quite shyly at me, she asked.

"You want to join me in our room?"

What was, at our age, an odd request, something only someone more scared of the dark, or just feeling lonely, would ask. I was betting my choices, but if I knew anything, I immediately lit up my alarms. Questioning Yujin was not the course to be taken.

"Sure."

Tapping my thigh to signal that she wanted me to come with her now, I put my food away and just laid my chopsticks on it. The pantry became quiet just as quickly as we left it. Trailing behind Yujin as she walked off to our room, it didn't feel too awkward. Looking around a bit, I thought I heard one of our friends moan again; it kicked back to a flashback to my first time myself.

Mine was similar to tonight, but it was a far stranger companion, one of my cousin's friends. She wasn't much older than I was, but not far off. Yet anything I experienced as she toyed with me with her lips, hips, and just how she used her body against mine that night will always stick to me. I would admit my endurance was miserable at best. Whatever, I had sex anyway. I got sent to Hong Kong that one night and back. This was just my second time tonight, I was taking the lead, and I was nothing more than a jungle of nerves.

The sound of lightly screeching metal and a lock turning split us from the rest of the world now. Our shoes remained outside, some of the lights were on, and the aircon was just winding up. Those were a giveaway that perhaps maybe, something was up. I turned around and pulled the thick curtains over the blinds, facing about to see Yujin standing there. Approaching her as the statuesque woman she was, we were equals, after all. Putting her hands on my chest and scaling up, her neck craning forward as if to kiss me, but I wasn't just about to get on with that. Moving back a bit, she stopped.

"Save it for someone you like," I told her, though I needed to say something quick not to kill her spirits.

"But, can I kiss you on your neck?" with Yujin softly lifting her chin as she allowed me. I went just right below her jaw with a few soft yet admittedly dry kisses. Moving down and having just put my lips, Yujin giggled, probably tickled as she slightly pushed on my chest.

"What's wrong?" I asked, pulling back a bit.

"Nothing, just getting a little tickled," she replied and so proved me correct.

I told her to sit on me to save us the awkwardness of keeping standing against each other. I assured her that I wouldn't do anything "stupid" as she put me between her legs. She put her weight on me as she sat on my lap, both of us completely awkward. Though before I could put my hands on her hips to pull her close, she reached down for her shirt, pulled it up, and took it off.

Now Yujin's body was normal, at least if being as tall as isn't accounted for. But now that the only thing keeping me away is a mere few inches of air and pinned down on this bed. It was a sight to behold from the well-matured woman she was. The way her thighs, built on the same bones that made her stand tall, stocky but toned, to hips that, while broad enough, were made discreet with a torso that matched it. It was an unreal, daringly perfect physique. She looked back at me as I gave her a look, though I was just trying to trace where my lips would go. She was just about to reach behind for her bra, so I stopped her.

"Not yet."

I said before moving back onto her neck, trying to remember everything I was told months back as I trailed downward, my kisses on her skin far deeper and more playful. I wasn't there to tickle her. A quick diversion over her collarbone before marking my checkpoint at her mole, just as I gave it a second kiss, I heard a faint, shaky moan. So there it was. Pulling her slightly closer as I gave it a deeper kiss, and I listened to her breath get shaky.

As I moved down, I could feel Yujin just watching me. Perhaps we were thinking the same thing as I came right down, leaning and pushing her forward, my lips just above her cleavage. How the hell did we get here? But before I could rationalize an answer to that, her hand clasped on my wrist and placed it close to her right tit. I took her cue as I wrapped it in my fingers and squeezed. She remained silent throughout, still shy and holding her moans in, but I felt her getting warmer as my lips and hands softened the awkward mess we were now. Thinking that it would only get more uncomfortable if I kept leaning forward, it was time to get more serious.

"Lie down," I whispered to her as I sat straight. I moved aside and stood up to let Yujin get on the bed. By the time I had turned back around, she, too, was facing me. Trying to copy a sex scene I've seen in my head, I took a few steps forward, got into bed with her, and had my lips right back on her neck. Though we just crashed on the mattress but luckily didn't slam right into her. The tension broke as we laughed at the face of erotic disaster. Nope, that was no reenactment.

Continuing as my left hand now reached up to her left tit, softly squeezing and rubbing it as I continued kissing down her body. I puckered my lips and sucked on the soft flesh of her tits before kissing down her tummy, as far down as my lips took me right before her shorts. I was done.

The only thing missing now was that Yujin wasn't naked.

"You're okay taking everything off?" I asked. She just nodded in reply. Taking that, I went back in, now with both my lips and tongue doing the work as I have heard again and again; keep up with the foreplay. My hand was instead trying to get behind her, feeling my fingers poking her sides. She lifted her back up and let my hands slide in. It was a little awkward as I tried to unhook her bra, getting after a few seconds or so then hovered above her. Yujin moved her shoulders and slid her straps off but kept her forearms close to her chest. I had a long way to go.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"I don't know. I've never done this before," Yujin shyly replied, rubbing her forearms. Well, I was too. I was just in the same position a while ago. And well, I had little else to say.

"Hey, I don't know this either," I told her. She just lightly scoffed at me.

"I don't know, my ass, I'm not almost topless for nothing," she replied, and with me between her legs and my arms already straining as I hovered above her. She was anything but wrong. I was a neuron away from telling her we should just back off, but Yujin beat me to it. Putting her forearms away, she slipped a finger into her bra and swung it to nowhere as I remained fixed on her.

They hung free, a perky pair of tits with well-colored areolas. My face immediately went for them as I wrapped my tongue around Yujin's nipples and tugged at them as I began to suck, my lips puckering right against her areolas. As if to respond to my tugging, Yujin slightly lifted upward. As I flicked on her nipple, she moaned. Then I slipped my free hand between her legs, pressing down hard on the fabric of her shorts as if to knock on her. After all, It was only two layers beneath. And to only drive my libido even higher, my fingertips only feel her warmth.

Then I began drawing circles with my fingers, and she cried out and squealed. It was a more sensual, not erotic release as she writhed, biting her lip but still moaning loudly. With my mouth clamped shut on her left tit and fingers bearing right against her pussy, she didn't want to push me away. But just like I was, I could do nothing in the face of pleasure. Just right after, I moved to her right tit and kept a good eye on her. Yujin's hands moved under me and unbuttoned her shorts, but before she could hold the hem of it, I softly squeezed her forearm to tell her that I'd do it.

Giving one last suckle on Yujin's tits and a few kisses on her stomach later. My fingers found themselves hooked between her shorts and panties as I pulled them back, her legs straightening to get them off cleanly. As the final piece of clothing dropped on the edge of the bed, I dove low and between Yujin's now bare legs. In the first place, she didn't precisely close them. As I parked right in front of her pussy, it looked a little shy of a few weeks of shaving. Being as gullible as I am under nerves, I asked.

"This isn't your first time being eaten out, right?" She's had a boyfriend before, so I expected a nod. However, Yujin shook her head.

"I see it in porn a lot. I tried rubbing myself a few times, felt something, but never really came," she dejectedly stated. That didn't seem too believable, but alright, now I had something to do.

"You ready?" I then asked.

She just nodded, and down I went.

As I gave her the first lick, I remembered that eating Yujin out wasn't on my mental schedule, nor ever on my fantasies since I had hit puberty. After all, she was only a good friend. Now was a little more than that. And I've only seen the stuff I'm doing now in adult videos. Though if there was anything different from the way I was licking upward and drawing circles around her clit, it was that she sounded far quieter, more bearable, and gladly, more regular and human than the actors I'd seen. On the other hand, the sight of her friend eating her out had us forced to be a lot less sensible and just be simply horny.

Tracing around her folds as Yujin continued to moan. But because it was her first time to be touched like this, she might as well have gone insane. She bit hard on her lips as I continued eating her out, beginning to taste salt not long after as she writhed ever so slightly. I thought of fingering her, but at the moment, I thought I'd rather save penetration for my penis instead. For now, my hands held her and traveled upward to keep squeezing on her tits as I put my tongue against her pussy. Now I put my all into it as I pressed my tongue against her clit, but I continued to trace her folds with the tip of it.

Her hips moved, jerking right up against me and inadvertently driving me deeper against her clit. It didn't help that her smaller jerks pushed her hips against me while my tongue did the same. It only multiplied the friction for herself. She just moaned and whimpered as she began to leak. That's one way to hasten your first non-solo orgasm.

Licking past the fluids the Yujin was secreting, she was getting more vocal and pronounced in her movements. Her thighs began to close in on my ears as she rumbled back and forth on the mattress. Not to mention the drippings I had to wipe off my lips ever so often as she let her body speak for itself. My tongue is the suspect of it all.

In a matter of a few seconds, she was hitting an almost uncontrollable fever pitch. Her eyes shut, her mouth hung open, the release of her lustful moans filling the air as her torso waved and her hips and I struggled to keep her from completely flying away. It was only delaying the inevitable.

"-fuck," Yujin weakly said, biting her lip but immediately letting out a moan that only told the obvious.

Continuing my assault on her senses, I rounded her clit faster. Yujin had slipped into orgasm, her moans drawn out and erotic, her entire physique rocking the bed as my deeds paid themselves off. Calling my name out as her legs folded back and her feet, much like her hands, scrambled to hold on to something as her toes curled, with fingers grabbing my hair and the sheets. Her thighs were just about to crush my head as her hand suddenly grabbed on my hair and hung on to me for her dear life. Arching and throwing her head back as her juices leaked as she shook herself loose. She just sighed as her orgasm passed. Plopping down on the bed as she finished, having had her few seconds of high heaven as her chest pumped itself of air, her body had turned into jelly from a powerful release.

I slowly pulled myself back to watch the orgasmic mess that was Yujin. After wiping my lips clean of her, I asked.

"How's that?"

"Fucking amazing."

She was breathless, hands moving around her face as if she couldn't believe what had just happened. I just let her be. I was just as tired with my tongue. That's it. I just made a friend cum probably a little too hard on my second sexual encounter.

"Well, what do you want to do next?" I said. Now fully taking up my role as the guide.

"Blowjob?" Yujin said. Her lips were moistened from her lip biting earlier. Our gazes met to tell me that she was eager to try me for herself. But unlike eating pussy, I knew what I wanted with a blowjob. I just beckoned to her to come over as I unbuttoned my shorts. The only thing she had to do was pull it down. I just waited as she rolled off the bed and then stood right in front of me.

A naked, glowing Yujin was an image that left me without words; what a woman.

Kneeling and taking my shorts with her, the sight and touch of her hands wrapping my penis sent a slight shot of electricity up my body. It's been a while since it wasn't me touching myself or touched at all. Held it as she began to stroke, or at least try stroking it. Telling her that it'd be better to sit, and I did. Yujin seemed like she knew what to do.

She took a shy lick on the tip, tugging it upward as she tried copying whoever actress she'd seen. Though once her lips wrapped around my glans, I was split whether I was feeling pleasure or pressure to tell her to get it right. For a moment, I thought she had it under control as I felt my tip getting wetter but was dashed the moment my shaft was uncomfortably squeezed, and I shrieked.

"Don't squeeze it too hard. Just keep stroking, and be gentle," I told Yujin, and before I was even done, she was already getting the hang of it. Keeping her gaze at me as I approved of her, and then I appreciated how soft her hands were. It was better than any fleshlight I threw money at or any fully erotic masturbation fantasy I would dream up at 2 am. All Yujin had to do was keep doing what she had to do, and I was trying to get used to her giving me pleasure as I slowly got erect, my butt slightly clenching as she went.

"Do I spit on this?" she asked not long after, having begun to feel like some assisted handjob rather than anything. My cock was already hard enough, but that looked a little too lewd for my taste, so I decided to take it even further.

"Slowly wrap your lips around it," I told her instead. I coached her as she leaned forward. Kissing the tip of my cock before pushing herself forward, her lips parting around my tip and tongue sliding under it. It looked a little awkward at first as she kept waiting on me. I just told her to start. Though I left "start" on a vague note, Yujin began to bob up and down slowly. And with her tongue placed right under my supposed sensitive spot, I suddenly twitched inside her mouth. She just giggled and stopped before continuing, and now she knew where to hit.

There wasn't much to be done after that. Yujin just softly bobbed her head with my cock on her mouth. Beginning to suck as she got a little deeper, yet I kept telling her to do it as far she felt comfortable. Comfortable, however, rhymes with daring in Yujin's mind, going deeper and pressing her tongue against my cock as she did. After trying to control myself and not react quickly to the way she slid and wrapped me. I couldn't hold it anymore and let out a moan. I sat back as I felt my world shaking under a virgin's mouth.

That only told her to go faster, maybe a little too fast. She didn't know she was bringing me into an orgasm I didn't want.

"Don't you want to save me for later?" I quipped as I laid my hand on Yujin's shoulders. She took me out of her mouth, and after wiping her lips, replied.

"Oh, sorry, I was almost carried away," and after taking a look at my slobbered member, asked, "That felt pretty good, didn't it?"

I just scoffed and nodded. Yujin smirked and got a bit bashful. To be fair, it isn't the norm to compliment anyone for giving amazing blowjobs the very first try.

"You have a condom, right?" she then asked me. I just pointed to my pocket. A little bit of rummaging in the slots, she pulled out the sachet and tore it twice. Had she bit down a bit harder, the whole plastic would've been ripped, and we'd have to walk the wire. Giving my cock one last lick of her tongue for, in her words, "insurance."

"This feels so weird," Yujin said as she slowly rolled it down my cock, "Do you even feel anything under this?" she asked. I just shrugged.

She paused as my cock stood, covered, ready to penetrate her. Haywire, that's what our minds were. I'm going to have sex with Ahn Yujin, and she's going to let me into her. My thought process was just scrambling and going code red as she led me to the bed. I reached for the switches and left only the bed lights, bathing us in a golden shower of light, looking to the side to see our shadow, man atop woman. As I planted my knees, she opened her legs and pulled me towards her. Both of us looked down as I brought my cock closer.

It was so quiet we could hear each other breathe. The silence only broke as Yujin gave me a warning.

"Be careful."

I just nodded, oddly solemn, like I was going down to a dark basement and had to run back without my candle going out. After all, Yujin asked me to penetrate her now; there's no more excellent comparison to being led into the dark.

I placed the tip of my cock against her folds. It was a warm, slippery opening, folds parting, and I pushed inside in an instant, barely able to feel anything. Yujin whimpered, and I pulled back. She nodded as I gave her a look. I felt the plastic on my tip get moist as I pushed myself against and back inside her. Inch by inch, I broke into her, feeling the choking, mind-numbing warmth and pleasure that I couldn't help but let out a moan as I stopped.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Just keep going," Yujin ordered me. Moving slowly enough but not from inserting my entire shaft and probably undoing everything. She also began to moan as soon as I did, though pained as her walls were parted. I kept it to that pace, trying to control myself from going ultimately ape as I let her become comfortable. As she did, I bent down and let that paceMy hips had a mind of their own while her hands moved from around me, coming right to my shoulders and pulling me close. My face was right against her shoulder, hiding my lip bite, as our brains were barely struggling to keep up with our sensuality.

There was nothing more but the sound of sex after that. Yujin's moans slowly converted from pain into pleasure. She loosened up from under me and got wetter as I slowly continued. Even if I had plastic over my cock she was just so wet I could feel her through it. Her hands slid down as if to tell me to go deeper, and not long after, I was moaning too. Having had to close my eyes to take it all in.

"Ah, fuck, that feels so good," Yujin said, biting her lip as I thrust into her. She was getting the hang of it. She looked at me and probably expected a reply as she could read the pleasure on my face. I just had to conjure something.

I just smiled and thrust deep as I could. Yujin broke her gaze, moaned, and threw her head back. I kissed her on the neck as she presented it. Coupling that with deep thrusts had her shaking right under me, pulling, sucking me closer into her. I wish she gave a warning next time; that felt too fucking good. Then I thought of something, thinking I only had a minute left in me. Giving her neck one last kiss, I straightened my back and put my weight on my legs, looking down to see my member thrusting in and out of her. For a second, I thought I saw a smidge of blood on the condom, so she wasn't lying after all. However, we were past that now as her body and face shifted, mired and tangled in the welcoming, intoxicating embrace of sex.

"You wanna switch?" I whispered, just nodded, and I pulled out.

Yujin slipped a finger between her legs to see how wet she'd become. Rubbing her fingers as she was, for lack of a better word, shocked by her sticky fluids.

"I guess this is why it feels good, huh?"

"Yep, we have to keep going so it'd feel better, come on," I told her as she turned around and bent over. For a moment, I remembered how she always made most jeans look skinny, even when they weren't meant to be. That ass right before me is why. I caressed and felt it for how thick it was while Yujin grabbed a pillow, then discarding it as I coached her into the "perfect" position.

Hands firm on the bed, back slightly bent down, and legs comfortably wide apart, I lined up into Yujin. With her pussy giving itself away, I pushed myself back inside. I wasn't one to wait as I did, grabbing her hips as she gasped and began and thrusting slightly faster than earlier. I was more confident that I wouldn't bust. Though that was quickly disproved when I felt a single twitch shoot up electricity and feel my fingers digging into her skin, and like an idiot, thrust and twitched again, now moaning in unison with her.

Yujin turned to look at me as I slowly settled into a rhythm. Both of us gave mischievous looks as I kept fucking her, having to turn away and moan into a pillow as she got used to the sensation. The thing is, even when she was loose, she never lost her tightness. She was painfully tight but kept me coming back for more. The perfect ounce of flesh enrapturing me yet barely keeping me from losing myself. I felt like I couldn't go any faster without cumming myself, but I wanted her to feel good. And from the from the moaning, shaking, moaning, dripping mess that I was penetrating. I have more than succeeded.

Plopping face-down on the bed, hands clinging onto the sheets to it as her body pistoned against me. Yujin must've just kept her eyes on me the entire time, just watching and, when she wasn't, feeling me inside her. Though whenever our eyes met, she was smiling or smirking at me oddly, like I was some maniac. She spoke up not long after.

"You're having quite a time, aren't you?"

"Because I'm fucking you," I managed to say between breaths. Around five more thrusts later. I stopped, tugged on Yujin's arm, and told her to come up to me. Yujin processed it for around five seconds before I got a better word, "put your back up to me," and she did. I was just trying to follow something I vaguely remember. Once she did, I slipped my arms up against her tits and pulled her close to me. Her hands then unexpectedly found themselves on my neck and wrist as I began to thrust again. It was a lot more awkward without any kissing, but she held on still.

Now we didn't just feel each other. Now we could hear every last sound of ourselves. A carnal chorus; Though like every other one, never lasts enough to leave one fully satisfied.

I lasted just shy of half a minute before our hands got tired, and the position got a little harder to maintain by the millisecond. I stopped when I couldn't go anymore. And amidst huffing breaths, I asked.

"You wanna ride me?" I asked. Yujin, also catching her breath, nodded. I pulled out of her and sat back. Not only was there a sheen of her fluids on my cock, but a faint sheen of sweat on my forehead, wiping it with my wrist as I lay down. I was spent by that point.

Yujin then straddled me, with the light illuminating the inside of her thigh, which was dripping wet as it got closer to her crotch. She didn't need to be told as her palm put itself just below my tummy, the other hand guiding my cock towards her. As she put me back inside, her eyes went wide, then shut and exhaled, moaning as she sat down and filled herself with my entire cock—something I hadn't done. My breath shook in unison, and fingers fumbled to hold on to something as she began to move on top of me.

"We should've done this earlier," she said, beginning to bounce on me sloppily. Arms to the side, giving me the freedom to put my hand on her hips and the other to squeeze her tits. She was moaning far louder now, but I couldn't blame her as I was stifling myself too. My cock was just sliding perfectly against her, and she had some magic that was slowly making me lose it.

We were watching one another as she continued to fuck me, her hand sliding through her hair as it began to mess itself up. There was a problem as Yujin was going too fast for me, finding myself far more challenging to control. I told her to slow down as I sat up, with her surprised a bit as her hands wrapped around my shoulders. At that moment, I twitched inside her. It was soon game over for me.

"Did you cum?" Yujin asked.

"Soon," I replied. Now it was a question of whether or not Yujin would cum again, but I knew I was due soon. Feeling that tightening pit in my lower regions that were only subject to a single flick to spill.

"Just go slower, let's not fuck this up," I told her as I dove down, her leaning back so I could get to her nipples. As she began to roll her hips again, I was far more aggressive with my tongue on her nipple, bringing up and squeezing her tit with my hand and hoping I could last long enough. That was despite already outlasting my earlier guesses. It was ironic that I didn't want her to fuck it up but keep fucking me still.

Quickly changing tactics as I put her up straight again, now just kissing Yujin's neck as she rolled her hips slowly against mine. Knowing my ear was just next to her, I could hear her whisper one thing as she discreetly, then dramatically. While her entirety, her soul shook, she whispered; I think I'm cumming.

I held her closer and kissed her neck deeper as she wrapped her hand around my nape, tugged me closer, and sang me her sensual swansong. Just when we thought we had control over our young bodies. I pulled away a bit and filled my lungs with air as I was soon to empty myself. It was just enough to glimpse Yujin's face as she looked down and brushed her hair. She gave me that shy look as if she felt bad that I was under her mercy. I took my chances and went for her neck. Just resuming the same thing we had done a moment ago,

The way Yujin and I slowly slipped away and was just driving her hips and pressing her chest against mine on the mere instinct of a creeping orgasm, knowing I was to go down with her. Her walls tightened as her movements became more pronounced. I swore I could feel juices dripping down my balls as she used me to reach cloud nine again. Even I let out a moan as we both shook, slowly unraveling myself as she reached her peak.

After an unintelligible whisper, Yujin's body froze, and her fingers dug into me, her jaw probably unhinged itself as she let out a moan that was all pleasure, relief, and a tinge of pain at once. As she did, I followed too. Shutting my eyes, seeing white as I got seared in her heat, jaw silently dropping as the proper shocks shot down into my cock. Shaking and almost biting into her neck as I stiffened and twitched violently, squeezing her tits as I shot thick spurt after spurt of sperm into the condom as she rode against it, giving me, until that point, the hardest orgasm of my life. She was pulsating a bit as she came down from her orgasm, only forcing every last drop out of me. It was a short moment, not more than a minute, as neither she nor I were there. Both of us ended up shocked, revived, exasperated, and exhausted at once.

We were just in an embrace after the fact. Perched on each other's shoulders as we huffed and puffed. Speechless. I couldn't feel much of my lower regions as our libido withered away. Of course, as a result of our shared orgasm, that'd make nuclear fission blush. I wouldn't expect a second go at it.

Neither of us made a peep as Yujin got off me. Her juices trickled off her the moment she pulled herself out. That was when we broke. She was genuinely shocked she could've gotten that wet, even more so with the filled condom that it left behind. I knew I shot a lot, but not by that much. I volunteered to take it off myself as I moved to the edge of the bed, pulling it off in a wet snap. The blood I thought I'd seen earlier was almost overrun with the rest of her juices.

"Damn, I'm gonna remember the last ten minutes for a long time," I told her as I held it up. Yujin became bashful as she couldn't think; during her first time, she'd fuck the guy probably a bit too hard. It was more erotic for me.

Being the humans we were, and knowing Yujin and I both cleaned and dressed up, and left the room to get food. We just decided to change the bedsheets after we'd eaten, as it was stained with us. As I turned to lock on the sliding door, I just remembered that we were supposed to eat, but instead, we had sex—what a night.

"That wasn't too painful, wasn't it?" I asked Yujin as I came alongside her. She just shook her head and turned to look at me, shyly smiling.

"I'd rather have you do it again," she answered.

#izone #ive #kpop #smut #yujin #mxf #kpop smut #ahn yujin

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imaeraser · 3 years

Note

Hello there

Can I please get the straw hats reaction to reader who is an marine admiral quitting the marine and wanting to join the them

Gender neutral please

Thanks for the request!

Luffy

He is ecstatic

Another crew member that he can hold dear to his heart

Unlike most of the crew, you came willingly

Of course, this caused the crew to be suspicious, but Luffy is bouncing around with excitement

I mean he already has two people in the navy who like him, what could go wrong by accepting an Admiral into his crew?

“Show me that move again!” He will constantly be watching you train, and ogle in awe at the amount of strength you have

But be warned, once you show him it once, you’re gonna have to do it again

You’re gonna have to get used to the chaotic nature of Luffy and his “plans” because it isn’t structured like the Navy

But that also gives you more freedom to do what you want… as long as you help/save Luffy on the way

He’ll kinda treat you like a new toy, and after that wears off he’ll treat you like the rest of the crew

Don’t delude yourself though, he is still your captain, and when in desperate situations he will get serious with you (another thing you have to get used to)

8/10 is not bad, but he needs to chill a little— can’t blame him though, you are an ex-navy admiral

Zoro

Opposite of Luffy

Not excited, but suspicious and a little angry

Sure it may be nice to have one less “enemy” and one more crew member, but he is on edge about your allegiance

You could be a spy for all he knows or an underhand way for the navy to kill Luffy and his crew

And he won’t be having any of that

He’ll be taking fewer naps, and opt to watch you instead. He’ll always be tense around you. He’s getting ready in case you attack

He won’t say anything since his captain already accepted you, but that doesn’t mean he’ll welcome you

Don’t think that trying to suck up to him will help you either. He’ll accept whatever you offer (ex: money for a sword), but he’ll only see that as you trying to gain his trust to backstab him later

The only way for you to gain his trust is to a) give them your backstory and why you quit the navy and joined them b) Stay with them long enough to just naturally become a member (as well as help them in ways that hurt the navy— several times) c) nearly die trying to save someone from the crew

After one or a combination of all of those things, he will no longer question you and relax and open up a bit

You’ll know that the first mate trusts you when he’ll share a cup of sake and take a nap— right in front of you

3/10 the only good this is that he’s not cutting your gut open

Nami

She is also suspicious of you too, but she hides it better than Zoro

Instead, she’ll leave the watching to Zoro, and go to Robin to discuss her worries (they are such an iconic duo)

Nami knows that Luffy will accept anyone onto the crew, so she feels responsible for making sure it’s in the best interests of the Strawhats

She’ll weigh the pros and cons carefully and advise everyone to be careful, but at the end of the day Luffy listens to no one

She won’t outright shun you, but she’ll be wary around you

That is until… you give her money

This tactic may not work on Zoro, but it will work on her

All of a sudden you’re her new favorite person

Just sit out on the deck with Nami and Robin and listen to Nami talk about how stupid the rest of the crew is

If you make cool-headed decisions and can stop the crew from getting into disasters, Nami will forever be thankful

It might take a while for her to warm up, but when she does (or when you give her money) be prepared for a feisty friend

7/10 can be unwelcoming, but it doesn’t take much to win her over

Usopp

Like everyone except Luffy, he is wary (and mostly scared, you could beat him up)

Seeing his nervous and pessimistic nature, he would not believe that you are on their side

He’ll try to act cool and distrusting, but once he sees you do something funny he’ll buckle

Bad people can’t be funny - Usopp. At least that’s what he seems to think

If you mess around with him, Chopper, and Luffy you’re good

No suspicions after

He’ll show you his inventions and will prank you from time to time

He’ll welcome you with wide arms

(He’s just glad that he doesn’t have to fight someone so powerful)

He act’s pretty normal

He just treats you like any other crew member

8/10 fun, until he tests out a new invention on you

Sanji

Isn’t really on edge

He knows that he can’t change Luffy’s mind so he won’t bother trying

Of course, he’ll be careful, but he trusts that the crew can handle it if something does arise

As long as you appreciate his food you’re fine

Just don’t waste it

Because if you do, that’s when his unwelcoming side comes out

But I don’t think that’ll be a problem, because his food is amazing

6/10 he is pretty indifferent

Chopper

Is nervous, but if Luffy gives the okay, then it's okay

...right?

Is confused on why you would quit the navy and join a pirate group (just like the rest of them), but he doesn’t ask why

If you get hurt, ad go to him he’ll treat you

Then compliment him and he’ll get all gushy

The moral of the story— just compliment him and you’ll be fine

Hang out with him, Usopp, and Luffy—> and the goofy trio will become a quartet

Make him Cotton-candy and he’ll let you pat his head

It truly isn’t too different from how he treats everyone else, aside from the rocky beginning

He is amazed at how strong you are

(And then he thinks about how difficult things could’ve been if you stayed in the navy)

8/10 nothing to complain about here

Robin

Isn’t on edge

After all, didn't she join similarly?

And she knows that Luffy will do what he wants to do, so she’ll just stick to reading her books

I feel like she would be the most welcoming (without having to do anything on your part)

You can come to her and talk about how you feel like you are somewhat an outcast in the group, and she’ll listen and sympathize

You guys could relate to a lot of things

This doesn't mean she isn’t watching you

She is very observant due to the way she grew up, and old habits die hard

But don’t be too sad, she watches everyone (mostly to make sure no one gets hurt)

If you ask her she’ll give you tips on how to win over each of the crew members

She would know because she had to do it

10/10 super helpful and welcoming

Franky

I can see him being suspicious, but not caring

Again, no one can control Luffy, so he’s just gonna do whatever he usually does

He’ll let you watch him, and help him out with whatever

He’ll joke around, and act pretty normal

He’s still suspicious but he is too super to care

Because he also trusts that the crew can handle anything if things go south

If you can connect him with Vegapunk, I think you would be his favorite person

That’s because he can make more beams

Giving him cola would also help ease his suspicions

6/10 Like Sanji he’s indifferent

Brook

Will quirk a non-existing eyebrow, but your joining would not be the strangest thing he’s seen

He’s gonna try to be welcoming and get you settled since many other members are still on edge around you

He knows that Luffy wants you on the crew, so he’ll do everything in his power to try and make you as comfortable as possible

But he will not hesitate to protect the crew if he thinks you are up to something

His loyalty lies with them, and not you— yet

He can’t afford to lose his crew again, don't be upset about it

But after sailing around for a while, he’ll accept you into the family

I can see you two having tea time, while he asks you what it was like being a navy admiral

And he will admire the fact that you were able to attain such a high rank and respect you as such

9/10 is not bad, and he’ll hide his suspensions well

Jinbei

Does not think it’s a smart idea to accept you on the crew

And he will voice his opinions

But don't worry, Luffy won’t listen anyway

Seeing as he is an ex-warlord of the sea, he would probably somewhat know you. Or at least heard about you before

He just doesn't trust that an admiral would drop their position to sail with the Strawhats

He won’t show his distrust like Zoro (he’s more mature than that), but that doesn't mean it’s not there

He just wants whatever is in the best interest of Luffy

But what is done is done, so he does try his best to push aside his preconceived notions and get to know you and welcome you

Like Zoro, he wouldn’t trust you until you prove your loyalty

I can see him joining the Brook tea times, and listening in on what life was like as and Admiral

And if you’re lucky he’ll share what it was like on Fishman island

8/10 nothing to complain about, other than him being a bit cold

425 notes · View notes

writingdotcoffee · 3 years

Text

#215: Writing for the Right Reasons

'Don't write for fame or money' is a common piece of advice that writers who've made it give to the aspirants. Sure, but what's wrong with fame and money?

Clearly, it is possible to make money from writing as millions of writers around the world do. A lot fewer are famous, but it also isn't impossible to be known for what you write. Doesn't everyone want to succeed in what they do?

As an adult, you have to eat and live somewhere — preferably not your mum's house or the street. Who wouldn't want to earn a living from writing?

I'm also pretty sure that the vast majority of successful authors didn't just stumble into success while writing casually for kicks. They were determined and worked insanely hard. So what's up with this 'don't write for fame or money' thing?

Honestly, it made me a bit nervous when I kept reading this early on. I would like to earn a living through my writing eventually. Does it mean that I'm in it for the wrong reasons?

A few years in, I realised that the advice is, in fact, genuine and well-intentioned. It's just difficult to see the nuance behind it.

It doesn't mean that you shouldn't want fame and money. There's nothing wrong with wanting to succeed. The problem is only wanting those things.

Lots of people like the idea of being a writer more than actually writing. That in itself isn't a problem — you can do whatever you want, and it isn't anyone's business whether you're writing to change the world or to get laid.

The problem is that if your only motivation is that shallow, writing is a complete waste of time. You'll have to grind way harder and sacrifice a lot more than you think to reach fame and wealth through being an author. The shallow things won't motivate you to push hard enough and make those sacrifices to stand a chance. You will quit too soon.

The Right Reasons to Write

The good news is: you don't need a grand vision of how you're going to change the world with your writing or write for any noble reason whatsoever.

You just have to write about something that you care about. That's it. Find something that you're passionate about and write about that. What strong opinions do you have? What do you spend your days doing or thinking about? What makes your blood boil? What makes you happy?

That will lead you to people who care about the same thing. Your readers will be people who you can connect with. Writing will still be difficult, but you will be writing about your passion — that makes all the difference.

If you don't have an obsession or something you feel strongly about, that’s fine. Try some things out. Figure out what gets you excited. Passion isn't something you just have, you can develop it.

Writing is just a means to an end — a form of communication. You're sharing ideas, emotions and stories with your readers.

Instead of being passionate about writing, write about your passions. The rest will take care of itself.

About the Author

Hi, I’m Radek 👋. I’m a writer, software engineer and the founder of Writing Analytics — an editor and writing tracker designed to help you beat writer’s block and create a sustainable writing routine.

I publish a post like this every week. Want to know when the next one comes out? Sign up for my email list below to get it right in your inbox.

(I won’t spam you or pass your email to a third party. You can unsubscribe at any time.)

Past Editions

#214: It Doesn’t Count If You Don’t Finish It, September 2021

#213: How to Be a More Disciplined Writer, September 2021

#212: How to Turn an Idea into a Story, September 2021

#211: Writing Every Day, September 2021

#210: Ed Sheeran on Writing, August 2021

#writing #writers #write #writing tips #writing advice #amwriting #writing life #writeblr #writing update #personal update #me

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pan-fangirl-345 · 3 years

Text

He Would Tear the World Apart

Summary: During a raid, you're taken hostage. Shouto doesn't take the news well, and will do anything to get you back.

TW: kidnapping, abuse, alcoholism mentioned, Enji Todoroki's bad parenting, mental torture, dissociating, injuries, blood, angst, mentioned character death (no one actually dies), a lot of swearing, chains, starvation, dehydration, that sort of thing. If there's anything I missed, please let me know! Also, there is a happy ending, so it's angst to fluff!

A/N: First and foremost, I have no medical degree, I have no idea what it's like to dissociate, so anything medically incorrect is because I am not a doctor, though I am currently working on getting my psychology degree. I'm sorry if this offends anyone, that was not the intention. I have no idea what went through my head to make me write all of this in an hour, but here you go. Also, please read the trigger warnings, and if you don't like it, don't read it. Anyway, I might make a part two to this if anyone is interested. Feel free to spam my ask box, or slide into my DM's if you want. Please interact with me, I adore you all.

Aizawa sighed as he stepped into the conference room. He sat down heavily in his usual seat, and Nezu climbed onto his shoulder, as was custom after so many years, despite the situation they were in.

Again.

"As you have all heard, one of the second year students, (Y/N), has been taken. She was last seen on a raid with the hero she was studying under, and we haven't heard anything from her since this transmission."

Nezu pressed play on a recording and her voice floated through the air.

She was panting, and she was whispering, but Aizawa knew that it was her.

"To anyone receiving this transmission, this is hero-in-training Tempest, I'm pursuing the criminals associated with the gang 'The Numerals'. I've been separated from the others and my comms have been compromised by one of the members. Please, send back-up."

There was a pause where all they could hear was her breathing, and suddenly she yelled, "Hey! You, stop!"

There was static, and then there was nothing.

"We have received information from one of our recon teams that they have taken her to their base of operations, though we don't know exactly where that is yet. We have also, as a school, received a ransom demand. Her parents have yet to be contacted about this."

Copies of the notes were handed out to the teachers, and they all frowned, clearly thinking the same thing Aizawa had thought.

They were a school, what kind of school had this kind of money sitting around?

"What is the girl's quirk?"

"She can create different types of storms in her hands," Aizawa supplied. "As of the end of last year, she could make a hurricane for a few minutes at a time, sometimes a dust storm, and I know for a fact that she was undergoing training over the summer, so it might be more than that now. Under extreme duress, she can make a full scale electrical storm in a building or outside, but only if her life is threatened."

"So, not helpful for getting out of this kind of situation?" one of the other teachers chirped and Aizawa nodded.

"No," he agreed. "Though we should be checking for any strange storms and freak electrical spikes."

"Do any of the other students know about this?" Hizashi asked.

"No, and we need to keep it that way," Aizawa told his husband.

"Why?" Vlad King asked.

"(Y/N) is Todoroki Shouto's girlfriend," Aizawa replied, then waited for that to sink in before he continued. "If he finds out that she's gone, or that's she's been kidnapped and harmed . . . ." He shook his head a few times before he added, "He would tear the world apart to get her back."

"Fuck," someone mumbled, and Aizawa nodded.

Pretty much everyone that was at U.A. knew what that girl meant to Shouto, not to mention the people at Endeavor's agency, and the one that (Y/L/N) was working with.

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Midnight asked.

"We plan a rescue mission," Nezu said. "We're working with nearly every police force in the country to try and figure out where they're keeping her. We have a rough area," he clicked onto a photo of a map, one area to the far north highlighted in bright red. "But there's nothing we can do until then, we need a warrant and evidence."

"The life of a child isn't enough?" Midnight asked. "Especially such a beautiful girl?"

Everyone went quiet, the mood somber and heavy.

"Aizawa, you spent more time with this girl than anybody," one of the third year teachers said, "how likely is it that she'll find a way out on her own?"

"It's a possibility," Aizawa admitted. "She's a very capable student, on par with Midoriya, Todoroki, and Bakugou, but they know what she can do. Not to mention that sources tell us she was injured, though we aren't sure to what extent. And the longer she spends with them is more time Shouto has to figure out what's happening. Not to mention the other students. We need to get her out as soon as possible."

"Agreed," Hizashi added.

It was no secret that Present Mic and Eraserhead had both taken a liking to you when you were in Class 1-A, all of the teachers liked you, and you were a solid foundation for your classmates.

You were a calm presence, and everyone, Bakugou included, had gone to you for advice at some point, though it was all for different reasons.

You tend to be a level-headed person, but when you felt strongly about something, nothing was going to stop you.

People, Shouto mainly, would start to sense the lack of your presence, and Aizawa wasn't ashamed to admit that he wanted you back where you belonged.

"We can't keep him, Shouto I mean, in the dark about this," Hizashi murmured. "He's one of the best up and coming heroes."

"Not to mention," Aizawa added, "that we plan on flooding the streets with her photo. We've already sent it to all of the major hero agencies involved with the search, Endeavor's being one of them. If we don't tell him, his father will, and we all know how volatile that relationship is."

Everyone in the room shuddered at the mention of the father and son duo and nodded.

"Aizawa, All Might, it might be better if you both told him," Nezu said. "You both have the best relationship with him in this room, and you might be the only two that could hold him back if he reacts violently."

"And he will," Aizawa mumbled, already standing from his chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shouto knew something was wrong.

He hadn't seen or heard from you in two days, almost three, and the teachers were acting suspicious. There were fewer of them in the halls, and Aizawa was even more tired than usual, with dark worry bags under his eyes that the students hadn't seen since the Bakugou Debacle in their first year.

The last he had heard, you were going on a raid for some gang members that were selling some sort of hallucinogenic drug based off of a mirage quirk.

You hadn't contacted him or come back since.

"Young Shouto, can we speak to you for a moment?" All Might asked, making everyone look up from what they were doing.

Despite the dorms no longer being completely necessary, (the League had backed off a little bit in recent days, and there hadn't been very many Nomu attacks lately), most of Class 1-A, now 2-A, had moved into the dorms for their second year, you and Shouto included.

"Does this have to do with (Y/F/N)?" he asked, standing quickly.

"Unfortunately, yes," Aizawa said, voice somber.

"Todoroki, do you want us to come with you?" Midoriya asked, getting that look on his face.

"If it's about (Y/F/N) then they all deserve to know too," Shouto said. "And I would feel better knowing they were here."

"Of-Of course," All Might replied, glancing at Aizawa nervously.

"(Y/L/N) has been kidnapped and is being held hostage as we speak," he told them, as blunt as ever.

Aizawa ripped his goggles off right before Shouto blew.

One half of his body erupted into blue tinted flames, and the other exploded in a rain of ice, but they evaporated quickly under Aizawa's gaze, and before any damage could be done to the dorms.

Everything went dark in his head, and his feet were moving before he even had a chance to fully process what his former teachers had been saying to him.

"And where do you think you're going?" Aizawa asked, raising an eyebrow as he moved to intercept him.

"To find her," Shouto snarled, and he didn't even recognize his own voice. It was several octaves lower than normal, and there was a rasp to it that had never been there before. "To get my girlfriend back."

"You don't even know where she is," Aizawa said. "We don't even know where she is. Besides, you're too emotionally involved."

"Too emotionally involved?" Shouto said, his voice too calm, his eyes too dead.

Everyone in the room took a step away from him. Everyone except Midoriya and Bakugou.

"Too emotionally involved?" he repeated.

"Oh shit," someone whispered, though Shouto didn't know who it was.

"That is my girlfriend. That is the love of my life and you're telling me that I can't get her back because . . . I'm too emotionally involved? What about when Midoriya went to get Eri? Was he too 'emotionally involved'?"

No one dared to point out that it was nowhere near the same thing, but there was a collective thought about it in the room.

"That is my fucking girlfriend out there," he snapped. "I will work harder than anyone to get her back. I will be the one person wholly invested in making sure that she stays safe."

"And that is why you can't be one of the people in on this," Aizawa told him. "The others are her friends, but you? You are way more than that, and that means that when it comes down to it, you can't make a clear-headed decision on whether it's worth it to try and grab her or not. Because she'll always be worth it to you."

"Damn right she will," Shouto said, staring Aizawa down.

No one had heard Shouto swear this much at once, if ever, depending on the person. He was starting to sound like Bakugou, and the others knew immediately that if you weren't back soon, he was going to blow.

"Look kid, I understand," Aizawa muttered. "I really do. I understand how you feel, I would do that same thing for Hizashi, but I also know what I would do, and we can't have that in the investigation. What would (Y/F/N) want?"

"She would want to be here!" Shouto shouted. "She would want to be teasing Bakugou in the kitchen, making sure that everyone had a blanket for movie night. She would want to be curled up with me on the couch watching bad romance movies that the girls cheated their way into picking out and making sure that I-!"

Shouto stopped as the emotions got lodged in his throat. Tears threatened to spill over as his vision got blurry, and the others were there to catch him as his knees gave out on him.

"We'll get her back kid," Aizawa assured him, crouching down, touching the top of his head softly. "We will get her back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head was buzzing as you came back to consciousness and you suppressed a groan of pain.

Consciousness hurt.

You did a short mental tally of your injuries.

Your ribs were definitely a little bruised, if not cracked or broken. Your lips were split in at least four different places each. One shoulder was definitely dislocated, and the other was hurt in some way. Your left ankle was bruised and swollen, broken probably. Your head probably had a huge gash if the blood running down the side of your face was anything to go by, and you were definitely concussed on some level.

Apparently getting your head slammed into solid concrete by someone who had launched themselves off a ledge would do that to you.

You were in what looked like a basement of some sort. The walls were solid concrete, there were pipes running overhead and dripping on you randomly, which wasn't appreciated, and there was insulation and plaster showing through here and there.

"Finally awake sleeping beauty?"

Your head whipped around to see your kidnapper, but your head protested and so did your stomach, despite the fact that there was nothing in it.

You suppressed a groan, trying to keep your stomach where it belonged.

"Ready to tell us who the informant is?"

"Go straight to hell," you muttered, when you were certain you wouldn't throw up on yourself, glaring at them.

"I still can't believe you were fucking stupid enough to kidnap a child! She doesn't know shit," the other man snapped at the first.

"She has to know something!" the first guy snapped. "She was in on the raid!"

His quirk allowed him to change his voice, so he wasn't using the real one, he sounded like a guy that smoked twenty packs of cigarettes a day.

The other guy you had started calling Sandy in your head. His quirk was similar to yours, he was able to turn anything he touched into sand, and then use it. He mostly made sand storms, and that's how they had gotten the jump on you in the tunnels.

One had blinded you while the other had carried you away, much to chagrin of the Sandy.

"I'm in training," you rasped. "I'm hero-in-training Tempest, from Class 2-A at the school U.A."

They hadn't given you anything to drink in the last two days, from what you could even remember of it, and you knew that you weren't going to last much longer, having been dehydrated when they had taken you.

They had kidnapped you from the raid site, and then spent six hours driving around like morons trying to cover their tracks, before driving for an unknown amount of time before they had dumped you in here. You had been unconscious for the secondary part of the drive, and you knew that with everything going on, there was the possibility you were experiencing retrograde amnesia.

"They don't tell me the important stuff like that. I get told when we're going on raids, and what my part in them is, and that's on the very rare occasion that they happen during my shifts. Most of the time, I'm on patrols around the city," you told them, taking a break in your little speech to spit blood onto the floor by your leg. "You need directions, I'm your girl, but you need to know who's a rat, sorry, I can't help."

You would've shrugged, but your arms were chained to the wall behind you, and every time you moved your right arm it made an awful clicking noise that you knew wasn't natural. Your left shoulder was dislocated as well, meaning your arms were pretty much useless.

One leg was operational, but barely. You were so far out of commission you wouldn't be surprised if U.A. kicked you out to recuperate.

U.A. wouldn't, and couldn't, pay the ransom. You knew that. The best hope you had was that you could act your way out of this, or that they planned a raid to get you out.

They had done it for Bakugou, why not you, right?

Shouto passed through your thoughts, thoughts about what he might do to get you back, but you shut them down as soon as they entered your head.

You were trying to keep him in a safe place.

You hoped that Shouto never learned about this. About where they were keeping you, what they had already done to try and get you to talk.

He was your safe place now, safe and away from this building, wherever you were. You thought maybe if you could keep him out of your head here, it was a way of protecting him from the reality of your situation, even if he already knew.

"She's a kid," Sandy snarled, pointing at you viciously. "She's a kid. You know the Boss' rules about kids and you broke almost every one of them!"

"Yeah, well-"

"Guys, hey, I hate to interrupt," you interjected, "but I really have to go to the bathroom."

They both stared at you for a moment before Sandy asked, "Do you promise to not try and escape?"

"Buddy, I don't know if you've looked recently, but I doubt I'm doing anywhere," you quipped. "My ankle is obviously demolished, my head was cracked open like an egg, thanks to your buddy Darth Vader over there. Not to mention, I'm dehydrated and starving, and don't even get me started on how much my ribs are killing me right now, probably literally. Do I look like I'm in any shape to try and escape?"

Sandy frowned, glancing at you like this was the first time he was seeing the extent of what had been done to you.

"Alright, I'm going to undo the chains, but you can't try to escape, you'll only make things worse for yourself."

"Death seems preferable at this point," you grunted, trying to hide the pain you were in.

"Don't you have healing supplies?"

"How am I supposed to use them when I can't move my fucking arms?" you asked, wiggling your fingers in emphasis. "And you morons confiscated my belt, which had them all in it! You know what my quirk is! What did you think was in it? Explosives? No, I leave that to Dynamight."

"Fuck," Sandy muttered.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" the voice dude asked.

"Because if she dies then that means no money and no chance of surviving prison again. Do you know what happens to people who mess with kids in prison? Nothing good."

You logged that little piece of information away, trying to focus on their features, but with your concussion, your eyes weren't the hottest.

"Can you move?" Sandy asked you as he worked on unlocking your chains.

You couldn't help the cry of pain when your arms dropped to your sides, tearing stinging your eyes as you bit into your already roughed up lip.

"Shit. Can we get a medic in here?" Sandy shouted.

A door opened and someone stuck their head in. Sandy repeated his demand, and the door shut again.

"Why are you doing this?" you whimpered, trying to keep your voice even.

If they were sadists, any fear or pain you showed only gave them what they wanted.

"Because we don't have a choice," Sandy said. "The Boss gave us somewhere to belong, he gave us a place off the streets. We owe him. We would've died."

"Shut up," Smoker snapped, and you glanced at him.

"I have a headache, and it comes and goes as you talk. Please, for the love of all things holy, shut up," you hissed to Darth Vader, wanting to touch your head, but not being able to for multiple reasons.

Sandy touched your shoulder lightly and you cried out again, moving automatically to hit him, but your other arm twinged, bringing more tears to your eyes.

"Sorry," Sandy murmured, pulling his hands away.

You took a shaky breath, waiting for the pain to dull before you said, "There's no way I'm moving from this spot without being in pain, and I'm definitely going to need help."

"Holy fuck, you two morons were two lucky blows away from killing her."

You glanced over to see someone with a med kit strolling leisurely down the stairs.

"Hello Tempest," they said, giving you a bright smile.

"Hello Med Kit," you replied, giving them a grimace.

"You can call me Himo for now," Med Kit said. "Do you mind if I take a look?"

"You're going to whether I want you or not, but sure, go ahead," you muttered. "It's not really like you can make this any worse."

"I could break almost every bone in your body and keep you alive while doing it, so I could do so much worse, but that's not the goal here," Himo told you, setting to work.

"So what is the goal? Since I'm assuming that I'm never going to get out of here," you said, glancing around.

"Why do you think that?" Himo asked, ignoring your first question.

"Because I've seen your faces, I know your quirks, I know a general area of where I'm being kept, unless someone used a teleportation quirk of some sort. I know the school won't pay the ransom, my parents don't have that kind of money, and my boyfriend's father would never pay to see me safe and sound. He would probably twist his son's grief to get him to be compliant," you grumbled. "Besides, I'm a hero, hero-in-training, whatever, it's all semantics. I'm basically your arch-nemesis. Isn't that what every villain wants? To kill the person in their way?"

"We aren't villains," Sandy muttered.

"You break laws put in place to protect people, you attacked a minor, then kidnapped her after assaulting her, and you are trying to get a ransom for me," you pointed out. "That doesn't really scream 'hero' or 'civilian' to me."

"Have you ever though about who writes the rules? About how money can manipulate everything? The system is flawed, and we are going to make sure people know it," Darth Vader snarled. "Do you understand how unfair the world is?"

"Don't talk to me about the world being unfair," you whispered, your voice dropping, every muscle in your body tensing. "My boyfriend loves his mother more than pretty much anyone in the world. Her parents, his grandparents, arranged a quirk marriage, and she had four children she didn't necessarily want. Her husband drove her to near insanity, enough so that she poured a kettle of boiling water over my boyfriend's face because he looks like his father. His father has already managed to get one of his children killed, and he considers the other rejects because they don't have the quirk he wanted them to have. He's a different kind of monster, and he's not in jail.

"My own father verbally and mentally abused me for as long as I can remember. My mother and I were zombies until recently, when I decided I had had enough and my mother finally found the courage and will to leave his sorry ass in the gutters where it belongs. My father always had enough alcohol in his system to make him a human molotov cocktail. I had little to no self esteem until recently, and I still struggle to understand and comprehend that I am worth love. I am still learning to respect myself. So you don't get to preach to me about how unfair the world is buddy, we all know," you snarled.

"The hundreds, thousands of kids out on the street know. The women and men that get raped, and continue to see their own personal monster roam free know. The kids that get hit every day for not being what their parents want know. That's why people like me exist, to put away the monsters wearing human skin. That's why my friends and I try so hard to be heroes. It's not about the glory, or the money. It's about bring people to justice, it's about making sure that people feel safe. It's about giving other people something that we never had."

Silence echoed through the room as what you said sank in.

You hadn't meant to burst like that, but you were sick and tired of these guys using their shitty lives to make other people's lives shitty too.

"Why are you a hero, Tempest?" Himo asked.

"Because I want to save people," you replied. "I just told you that. I want to make sure that every child like me knows that they don't have to be their parents, that there is another option. I don't want the abused becoming the abuser. I want to make sure that the people doing the bad things get put where they belong. I want to help the kids that have nothing to lose, I want to help them realize that they have everything to gain. I want to give people like you hope."

There was no use in lying to them, they were probably going to kill you anyway. Besides, it might help you build rapport, and they might let you go when they realized that they made a mistake.

"People like us?"

"People who think that there isn't another option. People who have been shown nothing but the horrid parts of the world, the horrible parts of humanity. People who don't know what it's like to be loved completely by somebody, both good and bad. People who think that they owe someone who isn't worth one minute of their time. Good people who strayed too far from the path."

There was silence for a few minutes before you said, "I've seen a lot of real villains, people who aren't capable of basic human emotions, I've seen people who have no humanity in their eyes. They are the villains, they are the monster under our beds personified. People like you, you just simply wandered. You aren't lost, you're just further to the side than some other people. It would be easy for you to walk the path again."

You paused, thinking over what you said, then added, "Well, it wouldn't be easy necessarily, but it would be worth it."

"You still have the naivety of a child," Vader snarled.

"Call me what you want, naive, innocent, optimistic, I've heard it all, but in the end, I'm right," you told him.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because, at the end of the day, I know that every life I save isn't just one life," you replied. "That young woman I saved, she might have kids some day, or foster a child that needs a loving mother. That child I shoved out of the way might help the suicidal child in his class. Every life I save touches other people's lives. As hard as it is to believe, no one is ever truly alone in the world. Every smile I give to a stranger might make their day, might help them live long enough to find the thing that makes them happy. That's why I'm a hero."

More silence.

Your face heated, but there was something in their faces that told you they had never thought about it that way before.

"So, is there anything you can do to heal me?" you asked, breaking the silence.

"Like I said, these guys were two lucky blows away from killing you, I'm surprised that you're still alive, actually, everything considered. Your head will heal on it's own, but there might be a little scar left. However, your ribs might take longer. Three are cracked, and four are bruised. Your ankle might need surgery to get it back to the way it was. It's definitely broken, and there might be small bone particles floating around in there, I'm not entirely sure, my quirk isn't that detailed I'm afraid. Not to mention that, from what I can see, your shoulders just need to be popped back into place. One was dislocated more than the other, but it will hurt."

"Can't hurt worse than the state I'm in now. So what can you do? I'm assuming that taking me to a hospital is out of the question."

"Well, I can treat the cut on your head, relocate your shoulders, and I can see if someone else can take a look at your ankle, but everything else will have to heal on it's own."

"So there isn't much?"

"Nope, we don't have the equipment needed for your ankle here, and, like you said, no hospitals."

"Fucking gre- wait a minute, to you guys still have my belt?" you asked, perking up a little.

"Yeah, it's over here," Sandy said, walking over into the back corner, pulling your med belt out.

"Hand it over. I promise there's nothing too harmful in there. There are some painkillers, but it's just Midol. It's all medical stuff," you said, wincing as Sandy dropped it into your lap.

You opened it, taking out a small device.

"What does that thing even do?" Himo asked, looking at it warily.

"It's not a communicator or anything," you hurried to explain. "I made some friends in the support courses, so I asked if they could make me a device that works like an X-ray would. Himo, take it."

He took from you gently, which you appreciated, and turned it all around, trying to figure out how it worked.

"Alright, see that little button on the top left, yeah, right there. Click that button twice, like hitting the home button of a phone."

Himo did as he was told, and the screen blinked to life.

"Alright, hold the over my hurt ankle, and it should be able to show what's going on. Or," you added, "it'll blow up. Hatsume is kind of unpredictable like that."

Himo's hands tightened on it, but he did what you asked, and was clearly surprised when a detailed X-ray appeared on the screen.

"Holy shit, it worked!" you cheered, grinning.

"You have some very talented friends," Himo told you.

"I know right? She's a little quirky, but she's great at what she does!"

"How are you able to smile right now?" Sandy asked, looking at you with something akin to wonder.

"Don't get me wrong," you started. "I'm fucking terrified, but there's not much I can do in this situation. Besides, from what I can tell, other than the initial assault, you people don't want to hurt me. You want something from me. In this scenario, what I'm guessing, is that you want something from me, so you're going to be nice, and make me want to help you out, or make me feel like I owe you one, and then, when I don't comply, you'll either torture me to try and get what you want until I die, or you'll just kill me right off the bat."

Himo winced, and Sandy twitched.

"You guys really hate the thought of me dying, don't you?" you asked, cocking your head to the side, despite the protect of your brain. "Is this one of those scenarios where kids should be off limits?"

"We may be bad guys, but we have certain priorities," Sandy admitted. "Kids are a sore spot for most of us."

You nodded slightly. "I can see why. You guys said something about being on the streets? I know that sometimes kids band together, that's how they survive. I'm assuming you've lost friends."

"Smart kid," Himo murmured, eyes darting over the X-ray.

"Sometimes they give us profile training," you admitted. "Besides, I've been working on my psychology degree."

"Wicked smart kid," Sandy quipped.

"Alright, so I can set your ankle, there isn't anything wrong with it other than the obvious fact that it's broken," Himo said, handing the device back to you. "Riko, I'm gonna need your help."

"With what?" Sandy asked, looking skeptical.

"Can you hold her legs down? I need to relocate her shoulders before I do anything with her ankle, just because I have a feeling she attacks when she's hurt."

"Good instincts," you muttered.

"I'm a doctor," he confessed, grinning. "You learn a thing or two."

"Sorry about this," Sandy said.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much," you told him. "As long as that's all you do I'll considerate your way of trying to make up from everything else."

Sandy snorted, holding your legs just below your knees.

"This is going to hurt," Himo warned.

"I would be surprised if it-"

You clenched your teeth to try and keep your scream in as Himo popped your right arm back into place.

The rest of your body bucked, trying to roll away, but Sandy, Riko, had a firm hold on you.

You panted as the pain started to fade a little in your arm.

"Sorry, I've found it works better when people aren't expecting it," he said.

"Son of a bitch," you gritted out, spitting blood off to the side. "I bit my tongue."

Riko chuckled, shaking his head.

"Alright, now for the other one," Himo murmured. "I really don't understand how you managed to take this much damage."

"At least I only broke my ankle. My friend Deku has broken both arms, both legs, and both hands before. I think he's broken almost every bone in his body sa-"

Himo popped your other arm back into place and you couldn't stop the tears that flowed down your cheeks at that one, your jaw almost cracking with how hard you clenched it to try and keep the noises in.

"Fucking fuck," you muttered when the pain pulsed into something a little bit more bearable.

"Better?" Himo asked, prodding your shoulders.

"Yeah," you admitted, moving them slowly. You dug around in your med belt, pulling out two pieces of metal and a small bottle.

"What is that for?" Himo asked.

You pushed a button on the metal, and they extended to the required length.

"It's for a splint, or a cast," you told him. "Once you set my ankle, you put the metal on either side, and I can spray this one. It's a special kind of plaster, don't ask me how it works, I have no idea what's in it, but it'll hold until my ankle is fully healed, then it'll fall off on it's own."

"Amazing!"

"Heroes, when the respond to disasters, often have to set up triages until other emergency responders can arrive, so we have to know a little bit about basic medical treatments in emergencies like that. So a lot of us have belts and such to keep medical stuff in. I also keep duct tape and glue in here. You never know when you're gonna need it."

You pulled out some painkillers, popping two in your mouth, taking them dry.

"How?" Vader asked, sounding horrified.

"Hate to break it to you, but when you're a teenage girl, especially one learning to be a hero, when you don't always have time for water, you learn to take pills dry."

"TMI," Vader muttered.

"Hey, jackass, you asked," you told him.

Riko and Himo chuckled.

"Alright. Riko, see if you can get a hold on her, this is gonna hurt like a bitch," Himo warned. "Li, hold her other leg down."

"Don't use my fucking name!" Vader shouted.

"You know, I wouldn't have known that was your real name if you hadn't reacted that way," you told him. "Heroes are also trained to pick up on certain behaviors like that."

Li grumbled, but did as he was asked.

Himo situated himself, then said, "Get ready."

The pain had you blacking out before you knew what happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I knew something was wrong," Shouto muttered for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes. "I should have gone with her!"

"Dude, it wasn't even your mission," Kaminari told him. "There was nothing you could've done for her."

"Yeah you half-and-half bastard," Bakugou chimed in. "Besides, we're gonna get her back, so shut up and try and think of something useful."

Everyone had leapt into action when it had sunk in that you were in serious danger. It didn't take long, and no one wanted to acknowledge that it was worrisome.

They had split up into teams.

Midoriya, Bakugou, Shouto, Kaminari, and Kirishima were working on the maps that had been given to the students.

Momo, Jirou, Uraraka, Mina, and Tsuyu were going over the interviews with raid members, trying to gather up information on what had happened, trying to see if there was a traitor among them, other than the undercover agent that they had been told about.

Tokoyami, Ojiro, Shoji, Sero, and Koda were helping the other heroes do recon missions and patrols in the area where they suspected you were being held.

Sato, Shinso, Hagaruke, and Iida were working on the case files of all the known members of the gang that you had been going after. Surprisingly, those four were the only ones able to hear about the things that some of the gang members had done.

Hagakure was crying softly to herself as she read, but no one could pull her away from the files.

"I have to know," she kept saying. "I need to know about what they did so I can help when we get her back."

Sato didn't know you as well as the others did, so he was a little less effected. He were itching to get you back, but the others had spent far more time with you personally.

Shinso, on the other hand, was powering through them, wanting to know what he had to avenge when they got to that building. He wanted to know what they might be doing to you so that he could have far more reason to get them arrested.

Iida just wanted something useful to do.

"They just cleared building seven in section 3-C!" Aoyama called from his spot the progress computer that they had set up in the common room.

Aoyama was in charge of letting them know what had been cleared, what was under suspicion, and what they had ruled out completely.

"Fuck, that pretty much clears that grid section," Bakugou muttered, forcefully crossing an abandoned apartment building off his map.

"They might need to expand their net," Midoriya added. "No one knows where she is. There's the possibility that they aren't even in that area."

"I hate this!" Shouto burst out. "I feel useless just sitting here!"

"It's either this or you get stuck back on the sidelines," Bakugou reminded him and he clenched his fists.

He just wanted you back safe and sound by his side, preferably with his arm around your shoulders.

He'd been trying to remember the last thing he said to you before you had gone on that raid, but he couldn't remember.

He hoped that it was 'I love you' or something similar, but not knowing was killing him.

"Todoroki-kun," Midoriya said, laying a hand on his arm. "We will get her back."

"Yeah, we aren't giving up on her, no way in hell," Kaminari added, eyes flashing gold in the lights of the common room.

"She never gave up on us, it's not manly for us to give up on her," Kirishima chimed in.

"I know," Shouto said. "I trust you all."

It went unsaid, but understood, that when it came time to get her back, Shouto was going to be the one leading the rescue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, Himo came into the basement and said, "Do you think you can walk?"

"On one leg maybe. Why?" you asked.

Your ankle was wrapped in the cast that you had taken out, but your ankle was feeling a little better than it had been. It still throbbed every once in a while, but it could've been worse.

"The boss wants to see you."

"Oh, the big boss," you griped, rolling your eyes. "He wants to see me he can come down here himself."

Himo hesitated, but he nodded, heading back upstairs.

You had known that there was an undercover agent in the gang, but you had yet to figure out who it was.

Every member of the gang seemed to know that you were there, that, or they were much bigger than you had anticipated.

So far, Himo and Riko were your top two suspicions, given that they were the only two that were actually kind to you, but you had a small part of you that wasn't sure.

The door opening a few minutes later announced the arrival of the leader, and you steeled yourself.

"You fucking morons," the man muttered, rubbing his eyes like he had a headache. "What did I say about kids?"

"Sorry Boss, but we didn't have a choice," Li said, stepping out of the shadows.

He had been stay with you for the entire week, and it was clear that you didn't have the kind of rapport with him that you did with Riko and Himo.

You had been trying to make a storm, something, to let the someone know where you were, but you had idea of knowing whether it was working or not. You were in the experimental stages of the large storm capabilities of your quirk, and you were completely drained at the moment.

"What's your name kid?" the man asked.

His hands were covered in rings, and scars littered the little bit of skin his tailored suit showed off.

You had seen Shouto in high class clothes for gatherings that he was required by social convention to attend, so this guy was either rich, or so far into debt that he was on the run from the banks.

"You can call me Tempest," you said.

"(Y/N). Second year at U.A. Class 2-A student, and one of the new public favorites," Li said.

"Aw, you looked me up, how sweet," you taunted. "But like I said, I prefer Tempest, it sounds cooler."

"Far enough," the boss said.

He was wearing a mask that covered the top half of his face, and a fedora type hat, so there wasn't much to catalog, but you did anyway.

"Are you here to kill me?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest, despite the way it made the chains rattle.

"No, not if you give me what I want," the man said. His voice was deep, and he looked like he was in his early thirties, but you weren't entirely sure.

"I don't know who your rat is," you stated.

"How do you know that's what I wanted?"

"When I woke up on day two, your Sandy man and Darth Vader over there were talking about it. Vader actually asked me about it." You paused, then said, "You guys do realize that I'm right under an intern right? I'm not high enough to know about UC's. Think of me like the intern's intern. I'm lucky I even got to go on the raid."

The man watched your for a moment before he said, "I hate it when people tell me the truth. It means I don't get to have any fun."

"Sucks to be you then," you replied. "So what happens now?"

"You get broken," the man said, reaching out to touch your forehead.

"Good luck with that," you muttered when he pulled away.

Then the visions started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Everybody get up!" Aoyama shouted. "Up, up, up! Someone called in a noise complaint late last night!"

Class 2-A poured into the common room.

Shouto, Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero ran in with no shirts on, and Kaminari fell trying to pull his shorts up over his Pikachu boxers. Shinso was already in there sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee clad in a t-shirt with a cat meme and dark jeans.

The girls poured in in a mix of pajamas and hoodies that they had stolen from the boys over the last week, their hair a mess and dark bags under their eyes.

"What's going on?" Shouto asked. He knew that his bags were darker than anyone's, and no one had seen him sleep in almost three days.

"Late last night someone called the tip line anonymously to complain about screaming from a condemned building smack dab in the middle of section 1-A. Someone checked into it and there has been a lot of activity in that area lately," Aoyama explained.

He had given up trying to keep up the sparkly attitude, though some of the French had stayed.

"Is there anything else?"

"Guess which gang has been operating in the middle of that area?" Shinso said, having stayed up with the sparkly blond.

"The Numerals," Shouto said.

"Tres bein!" Aoyama replied.

"Have the heroes been notified?"

"They started a conference at three this morning," Shinso said.

"And no one told us?" Shouto asked.

"They wanted to let us sleep. They know how hard we've been working," Shinso replied.

"I'll sleep when we get her back," Shouto snapped, heading for the conference room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aizawa shouldn't have been surprised when his former students streamed into the meeting that was being held to rescue (Y/L/N), but he was.

Though that might have been because most of the boys were shirtless and the girls were clad in their pajamas, and hoodies that were clearly not theirs.

"Catch us up," Shouto demanded.

"Shouto, what are you-"

"Shouto, you are aware that this is merely to scope out the building, correct?" Aizawa interrupted, glancing at his former class.

"We don't fucking care," Bakugou snarled. "You're going to catch us up, and you're going to let us join, because she's our friend, and we're the strongest team that you could ask for."

"We can't, in good conscience, let kids into-"

"Do we need to mention all the times that the League has attacked us in the last year? Not to mention Gentle Criminal, Stain, the whole Chisaki ordeal, should we go on?" Midoriya asked, frowning.

Endeavor went to talk again but more students started to talk.

"We can help," Kirishima chimed in. "We want to help."

"Besides," Kaminari added before any of the adults could chime in, "the more hands you have the better it'll be. We can capture more members and get her back. It's a win-win scenario. Gangs are known to be disorganized. If you can get word to your informant about a stealth mission, you might be able to get both them and (Y/L/N) out with minimal risk to them both."

"And we have useful quirks," Jirou supplied. "Kaminari can kill any power they have, Bakugou and Midoriya are good for taking stuff down, so are Kirishima and Sato. Todoroki is more than capable of restraining anyone that he comes across, and I can tell you where people are, how many and so on."

"Not to mention I can make communicators that are much harder to disconnect," Momo piped up.

"People don't really know about me yet," Shinso said, hands in his jeans pockets. "They don't know my quirk, so they're much more likely to fall for me, which is more than helpful for you, since it makes fighting back much less likely."

"We want to get her back, me more than anyone," Shouto said, arms crossed over his chest. "We can useful. Besides, I don't think I need to mention all the times that we've stepped in without your permission and gotten the objective completed while keeping everything legal."

Aizawa sighed.

"We really should just let them help," he said. "They're going to keep pushing, and I don't want any of them expelled and arrested. They are some of the best up and coming heroes. Besides, they all make good points."

"I feel the need to point out," Midoriya chimed in, "that the more of us you take, the more heroes you can have causing a distraction, or the more you can release to recharge and work on other things that are starting to take precedent, like the drug that the gang is manufacturing and selling."

There were more whispers, and finally the heroes sighed.

"Alright, but you're working with Eraserhead and Endeavor, since they're going to be leading the mission with Fatgum."

"We can work with that," Bakugou said. "But we want permission to engage if necessary."

"You would have that anyway," Fatgum said.

"We also want credit if we find her," Sero added. "We aren't going to let possible attackers think that we're defenseless. They take on one of us, they take on all of us."

"That can be discussed," Present Mic assured them.

"This should go without saying," Shouto began, "that I get to ride with her in the ambulance when we find her."

"Everyone assumed that anyway," Midnight told him. "Don't worry Todoroki, no one is going to keep you away from her."

Endeavor opened his mouth, but sharp looks from everyone had him shutting it again.

The students nodded.

"Now catch us up," Bakugou demanded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn't remember when you had stopped processing things the proper way.

You couldn't remember a time before the nightmares.

They talked to you, they wanted you to know about an informant. Sometimes Shouto appeared, smiling and reaching his hands out to you. Sometimes your father walked in, drunk as always, shouting at you to do better.

You retreated in on yourself.

You turned to that small part of your brain that you had made to wait out the fighting, the yelling, the hurt. You retreated into the part of yourself that you knew no one could ever enter but you.

Shouto was there like he always was. He wasn't entirely your Shouto, but he wasn't the nightmare either.

He was a figment of your imagination, but he made things a little bit better.

"I'll come," he assured you. "I'll find you."

You were lying in a meadow, a small clearing surrounded by trees that were bent over you to create a small dome of shade.

"I know you will," you told him, reaching your hand out to him.

He touched his fingers to yours, but you couldn't feel it.

You remembered someone in the past calling it dissociating, but you weren't a professional yet.

You had never done it at U.A. since you had never felt the need, but this wasn't something that you would ever be able to forget how to do.

You could still see the nightmares, but it was like it was far away, background noise.

"Do you think that you'll ever go back?" Shouto asked. "Do you think that you'll ever go back to me?"

"Maybe, if the nightmares ever stop. If I think that it's actually you that I'm going back to," you said, watching him carefully.

"Do you remember the last thing you said to me?" Shouto inquired.

"Yeah. I said, 'I'll always come back to you'. Why are you asking me that?"

"Do you remember what I said to you?"

"You said, 'Promise me you'll be safe?' I was about to go on the raid, and you were upset about not being able to go with me."

"Do you promise to remember that?" Shouto asked.

"Yeah, I promise," you told him, smiling a little.

"(Y/F/N)! Oh, darling, what did they do to you? (Y/F/N), can you hear me?"

The nightmare was getting better at looking like the real Shouto, and this one had the same voice.

"Go to him," the dream Shouto said, sitting up.

"Why?"

"(Y/F/N), blink if you can hear me," Shouto demanded.

You forced yourself to blink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shouto couldn't describe to absolute relief it was to see you blink.

He had seen the discarded cast off to the side of you, and he wasn't sure whether you would be able to hear him in that state.

"Hey darling, come on, we're gonna get you out of here, I promise," he murmured, touching your face lightly.

"Sh-Shouto," you rasped. "Shouto, wh-what was the last thing that you said to me?"

"Darling, don't try to speak," he told you, trying to figure out how to cut through the chains without hurting you.

"Shouto, what was the last thing that you said to me?" you asked again, reaching up to grab his hand.

"'Do you promise me that you'll be safe?'" he said, eyes roving over you to try and see any wounds. "That's what I said to you."

Your eyes widened in surprise before tears slipped out of your eyes.

"Sho, it really is you!"

"Darling, hey," he murmured, touching your face softly.

You were sobbing now, fully body sobs, and Shouto wanted so badly to take a moment to just relish in the fact that you were safe, but he had to get you out of there as soon as possilbe.

"Tsukuyomi," Shouto called. "Can Dark Shadow cut through chains?"

"Yes."

"I'm on the basement level of the building. I have Tempest, can you meet us down here?"

"On our way," Tokoyami assured him.

"Guys, I have her, she's in the basement with me, we're getting her out as we speak," Shouto declared over the coms, and he was met with cheers and relief that you were okay.

"How many of you are here?" you asked, wiping at your face.

"The whole class is here," Shouto told you. "Most of the hero agencies sent representatives that are here too."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, people were really upset that you were taken, especially with the role you played in apprehending Numeral gang members on the last raid, and the part you played in bringing the drug to light."

"Wow," you murmured, making Shouto laugh.

"Hold on just a little bit longer darling," he coaxed. "Our friends are on the way."

"I can't believe that it's really you," you whispered, touching his face softly, rubbing your thumb over his scar the way you did.

"Oh darling, what did they do to you?" he asked.

"For the past couple of days they've been trying to break me, they want to know who the undercover agent is. I don't know who it is though, so the leader of the Numerals used his quirk on me. He makes the drugs. His quirk makes you see things, makes you feel things. It's like he can burrow into your head and take the images out of your head."

You shuddered in his arms and he frowned as Tokoyami appeared in the doorway.

"Hello (Y/L/N)," he said, smiling at you.

"Hey little bird," you replied, your smile watery with emotions.

"Can Dark Shadow get through those chains?"

"Of course," Tokoyami told Shouto.

"Hello starlight," Dark Shadow said.

"Hi Dark Shadow," you murmured, stroking the sentinent creature before he tore through the chains like paper mache.

You rubbed at your wrists for a moment before you threw your arms around Shouto, burying your face in his neck.

"Sho," you sobbed, tears back full force.

"I've got you darling," he murmured. "I've got you. You're free, you're free."

You nodded, arms tight around him.

Shouto scooped you up, cradling you against his chest, letting you sob as much as you needed to.

The paramedics that had been called to the scene hadn't managed to get Shouto to let go of you, and you showed no signs of letting go of him, so they had managed to do everything they needed to with you clinging to him.

"She'll need physical therapy, not to mention professional trauma therapy. She's malnourished and dehydrated, not to mention suffering from exhaustion and a very severe concussion. Her ankle needs to be further inspected, and there's some internal damage, some cracked ribs that might need to be taken care of, but we can do some more thorough work at the hospital. I assume that you're coming with her?" the paramedic asked when he was finished.

"Yes, I'm her boyfriend," Shouto said.

"Alright, well, you have to let go of her so that we can get her hooked up to an IV and make sure that we don't make her concussion any worse. You really shouldn't have moved her, but there's only so much we can do about that now," the other paramedic told him.

"I-It's okay Shouto," you murmured, pulling away from him enough to wipe your face off.

Your breathing was ragged, and you looked like you wanted to go back to being unconscious, but you allowed the paramedics to get you onto an IV and a bed with a neck supporter.

"Shouto, will you stay with me?" you asked.

"Always darling," Shouto said, gripping your hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forthree weeks afterwards, you were stuck in the hospital. Your ankle hadn't been as bad as it had been feared, you back on your feet in a week, and you were undergoing physical therapy.

You were back to a normal diet, and you were going to therapy three times a week. Well, the shrink came to you, but semantics.

Your class visited every day, bringing you your homework and recorded lessons, most of them crying, and more than elated that you were back, safe.

Shouto, after being given permission by your parents, was being counted as a family member, and he had been practically living in the hospital with you.

For the first week, he had refused to leave your hospital room. He had slept curled around you, despite the machines that you had been hooked up to, he had missed class, staying with you and keeping you company.

There was also the reason of him being the only one to be able to calm you down after a nightmare.

There were nightmares where you woke up sweaty and nervous, asking the nurse on the night shift to light the candles that were all around your room.

But there were some that had you hurtling to the small bathroom in your room, hurling the contents of your stomach up. Then there were the ones that got so bad that you locked yourself in the bathroom, hiding yourself away in a corner until someone noticed and got a hold of Shouto.

They were getting better, and you were getting better about people coming up behind you, the touching.

For a few days after being admitted to the hospital, the only person who could touch you was Shouto.

Your mother had been heart broken every time you flinched away from her touches.

Your father had only come once, and he had been carried out by hospital staff after Shouto had tossed him out of your room.

You had retreated into yourself after that, and had come clean to Shouto about some of what had happened while you were being held hostage.

The therapy was helping, and so was the massive support that you were getting from the public and other heroes that had been in similar situations.

Your friends were very understanding of you not touching them as much anymore, and you and Bakugou were closer than ever, since he had experienced something similar.

Today was your first day back in the dorms, and you weren't going to lie to yourself, you were nervous.

The class had slowly starting moving all the gifts that you were receiving into your room, so you were only carrying a small bag.

"Shouto," you began. "You know that you can walk away if I get to be too much right?"

It had been bothering you for a while, that he had stayed with you for so long. It had bothered you that he had given up so much of his time for you, while getting very little from you in return.

"Why would I do that?" Shouto asked cocking his head to the side in confusion.

"I just mean that . . . well, I know that I haven't been the easiest girlfriend to have recently, and I . . . I have more issues than when we first started dating, and things have changed. I'm way more high maintenance than I was. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted a different girl-"

"Stop it right there," he demanded, turning to you.

His eyes were hard, despite his soft tone of voice.

"(Y/F/N), I don't want anyone other than you," he said. "I don't care if you wake me up at three in the morning screaming. I don't care if you sometimes have days where you feel like you can't say anything to me. I don't care if you have days where you can't get out of bed. I love you. I love you more than anything, and those things are not going to stop me from loving you.

"You are one of the strongest women in my life, and I am not letting you go because you have some issues. We've all got issues, hell, I have issues we haven't even touched on. Those things are just another part of you that I get to love. Alright?"

You nodded, blinking back tears.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" you asked softly, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He waited for a moment before he wrapped his arms around your waist.

You weren't entirely sure why touch was such a problem for you now. Other than the injuries you had received during the fight, nothing had happened to you that would explain it, nothing you could remember anyway.

There had been some retrograde amnesia that went along with your kidnapping, though the doctors had assured you that those memories would come back with enough time.

And they had. There were still a few blank spots, but there weren't nearly as many as there had been.

"All the right things," he murmured, kissing your forehead hesitantly.

"I love you too Shouto," you told him.

He smiled softly at you, then turned towards the doors.

They opened, revealing your friends and a huge banner with your characterized face on it.

"Surprise!" they all said, though they didn't yell it like you had thought they would.

"Welcome home (Y/F/N)," Shouto said, sliding his arm around your shoulders as you both walked out.

Yeah, this was home.

#shouto fluff #shouto todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #shouto x reader #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroko shouto x reader #todoroki fluff #shouto angst #angst to fluff #todoroki angst #i have no idea where this came from #honestly #what went on inside my head to make this thing?

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