#JUST HAD TO COME BACK AND GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM...

[multipleoccupancy]

He smiled that she thought he would make a good Robin Hood, he believed it too even if he didn't quite have the time to do it. He still had to go back to his studies when the mission was over, he had to get top marks! No time for vigilante thieving and ruining his planned career path, sadly.

He helped Samantha spread out the net and keep the pullies from tangling. Nodding as she spoke the mission seemed simpler in a way. They knew what was happening was man made and to stop it they needed to catch the man, undoing it was a bonus. "We'll manage something, it might have been a ritual or maybe like a potion or something," he thought for a moment, "Odin said that what she saw was a woman get stung by a monster before she started turning. Maybe it's something like that and there's like... an original monster?" All things they didn't know about yet but it was helping him to focus on their solution rather than their trap! He hoped it was the same for Samantha too.

Very pleased with Violet's performance and quietly thinking to himself that the Killian that was her father might have had his work cut out for him if she could put on such an act with such ease. He imagined a grown Killian was putty in the girl's hands. He had to resist chuckling to himself for the image, stealing the moment to rub tiredly at his eyes and down his face in such exhaustion. "You can have my lunch box from today for dinner," he then said quietly but just enough so the man could hear him, suggesting that Sloane hadn't eaten that day anyway and was giving his only meal to his daughter.

The man checked Sloane's ID but the act of both Violet looking so cold and upset at whatever it was her mother had done and then Sloane's apparent patient exhaustion tugged hard enough at his heart strings that he set the fake ID aside and started typing into the system to search for a dorm.

"Ah, yes, we have some free," the man explained and Sloane smiled but quickly suggested in some pleading panic, "preferably as close to the arts department as possible?" The man nodded with an 'of course' gesture and then a smile to Violet. "The nearest one is over the bridge in the languages department, but it's free of any residents." He explained sympathetically, "Room 328," the same as Sloane had mentioned earlier. "I'll just go and get the key set up," he promised before moving from the desk and off deeper into the office behind.

Sloane did not drop the act though and was sure to look to Violet kindly and still very tired. "You can have a nice rest and tomorrow we'll go out and get a McDonalds, just you and me." Promises he seemed to be genuinely offering though of course he was not, they were on a mission and as he understood it, Violet might not even be there come morning let alone dinner.

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy

Samantha was not superstitious, but she still felt safer with Killian's knife in her pocket. It was an extra weapon, and would come in very handy if she had to fight the monster in close combat -or if she somehow got stuck in the trap, too. But she was also sentimental.

"You would make a great Robin Hood," she chuckled as she helped him put the net down. She stretched and rubbed her shoulders. They were already sore. "Steal from the rich and give to the poor!" Samantha didn't know too much about Killian's situation, but she knew that it was Delta Green who had paid for his education.

She started to carefully untangle the net, lying it flat on the grass. "I don't know," she admitted, "I've never seen anything like it before. But I think Violet might be right: if it's been done by a man, then surely it can be undone, too. Once we catch who did it, we'll force him to turn this student back into a human." If it could be done. "All we can do is try."

Violet was quite relieved to hear that Sloane couldn't fly a plane. He was dangerous enough as he was! Not this Sloane, she reminded herself. Though she couldn't be sure. He was not a cultist, and he was on her side, but he was probably still very dangerous.

And he was a great actor, too. She watched as he started talking to the man, skillful in the way he played the part of the embarrassed, tired single dad -even his hand motion felt warm and loving. Violet thought about Lisa and felt very sad all of a sudden. Sloane seemed like he was a good dad. He would one day do unforgivable things, to bring back his family.

She carefully looked down at her feet at that word, "busy", as if she was also upset about her mother's behavior. She kept her eyes planted on the ground while he described how tired she felt, waiting until he was asking about a room before rubbing her left arm with her hand -not too much, like Sloane told her. It was only when the man asked to see Sloane's ID that she looked up -expectantly. Yes, she was cold and she was tired and she really wanted to sleep while her dad worked.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[allpiesforourown]

I'm sorry but omega harem member Shen Yuan AU now has me in a choke hold-

Like,

Binghe is trying to find the perfect way to seduce Shen Yuan, because god knows he needs a miracle to unfuck up his entire 'I don't care for you, its just political' situation

Universe does its thing and sends a wife plot, Shen Yuan gets poisoned with some fuck or die plant when helping one of the wives meet with their family in a very dangerous section of the demon realm.

Binghe hears about his omegas poisoning and jumps at the chance to finally get closer to his A-Yuan. this! This is familiar to him, he's saved his wives from all kinds of poisons and aphrodisiac fueled heats before, he'd fuck him so good and show how great of an alpha he could be to him.

Only when he makes it there, Shen Yuans already been serviced by his bodyguard Liu Qingge. (its LITERALLY his job to save and service this omega, of course he fucked the poison out of him)

Turns out the news had reached Binghe far too late to be put to any use, partly do to Shen Yuan begging the wife he had been helping when he was poisoned to not bother Binghe with it. He just doesn't want to force Binghe to take care of him! (Binghe had just gotten back with a new wife too! Imagine how pissed he'd be if he interrupted them!)

The wife takes Shen Yuans insistence and worry as him being terrified of Binghe so of course she couldn't bring herself to tell the demon emperor (as should have been protocol). And if she actively helped hide his condition then it wasn't like anyone would rat her out for it, at least not after she told them how scared Shen Yuan had been of his Alpha husband. (Cue them believing that Shen Yuans wedding night must have been traumatising or something) rumors only spiral when an omega will take dealing with a deadly poison over fucking their literal husband.

So by the time the news reached Binghe it had already been a day. Bonus points if he walks in on Liu Qingge still inside his husband who's completely out of it from being throughly ravished for 12+ hours on and off to get the poison completely out of his system.

The stand off would be prime tea for the harem but absolutely terrifying to anyone who actually witnessed it. Binghe seething as his temper flairs to record levels.

"under what authority did you decide you could take such advances with MY omega."

"It's my job."

"No. its Mine."

"I was told you wouldn't be here"

"Well clearly I'm here now."

"Now is too late. he'd have been dead by now."

"...What?"

"He was poisoned yesterday. He'd have been dead by now."

And Liu Qingge isn't even being judgemental, I mean why would he be, this is a part of his job and a very enjoyable one at that. But Binghe is crumbling mentally as he tries to piece together how things went so wrong: Why wasn't he informed immediately? How had this been kept from him? Was someone trying to kill Shen Yuan? And now he wonders HOW exactly had his omega gotten poisoned?

The impulsive thoughts come too, he wants this bodyguard fired. But if he fired the man who saved his omega now, it would only seem like he'd wanted Shen Yuan dead.

An even uglier, more desperate part of him wanted to purposefully poison Shen Yuan with a poison only HE could cure, to have Shen Yuan need him.

POISONING YOUR HUSBAND AS FOREPLAY .... God I love binggeyuan and liushen, just the most emotionally dense people imaginable falling for each other

[vivaciouscynner]

So a little tidbit about me, that I've probably only mentioned once or twice before, is that I used to be in the game industry - very low rung on the ladder, but I was definitely IN IT. And I have most definitely SEEN THINGS. I've seen some awful shit behind the scene that I am legit traumatized to a point that I cannot play games anymore. I'm getting better, but this almost two decades ago.

I looked at this post and went, "jesus fuck, eight fucking gigs? that's the goal we want to go back to? what... what is it now? like 20Gigs?" and believe me when I say "fuck you" at the 290gigs of required disk space.

So, I'm sure you can tell, yes OP, i agree with you 100000%

And I can tell you with 100% certainty that no matter how vile the environment I used to work in was back then, optimization was a necessary craft that I don't actually think exists today

Look I get it, a good handful of people have big 8K screens and the textures and shaders are BIG. But honestly, the market is so damn small that designing a game for those SPECIFIC people is a fucked up (ie evil) marketing strategy.

Games should be at least TIERED if they're gonna do that. You should have 1080P, 2K, 4K, and 8K tiers and priced ACCORDINGLY. If I can ONLY support 2K textures, I shouldn't need 4K or 8K support, which alone should cut the space requirements down SIGNIFICANTLY.

I remember one of the bugs i wrote up back in the day was that a texture for a vortex grenade was too high resolution, (it was - throwing it ate the frame rate instantly). And I when I say too high resolution, this game was for the PS3 (THREEEEEEEEE) they were JUST coming out with 2K monitors at the time and the texture was for 4K resolutions. We were able to look at the grenade texture that was placed on it, it had WARNING text and INSTRUCTIONS on how to use the grenade. Let me be very clear, when you were holding this grenade in the character's hand, the fingers not only covered up these labels, even if the hand were open, the labels could NOT be read, the text was too tiny. So you'd have your game-themed gun in hand, and you'd get about 55-60FPS with it. When you swapped it with this vortex grenade that had the ridculous texture size, it plumeted to about 23-30FPS. When you TOSSED it... and DIDN'T crash the system, it was lucky to get 5FPS.

The artist was so proud of his texture that he legit yelled at me for writing the bug. I had to SHOW HIM how bad the frame rates were when the object was used and he kept blaming the engineers and modelers. I had like a 15minute argument with him and asked him to show me where there labels were. Even on a large screen he was fighting to find some reason to NOT lower the PERFECT texture of his.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I just wanted to say is that I bet people gave up on optimization and this proves the triple-A game market is getting so much worse.

they should make games 8 gb again

[everythingne]

little miss wingwoman (3) - ln4

You meet the Norris family, Penelope drops by for a surprise visit, and luckily Christmas Eve goes off without a hitch. Thanks to your amazing skills in everything that comes with being a nanny.

warnings/notes: I, once again, am posting christmas after christmas and i don't care <3 happy hanukkah by the way!! also shout out to my brother who inspired the whole 'athena falling asleep' bit here bc he did this w my baby cousin on christmas eve

(prev | next)

Lando is welcoming in his siblings while you're in the process of finishing up a quick little Christmas Eve dinner. They'd requested nothing crazy, so you'd scoured the internet to find a simple chicken dish, and had Lando go out to buy some games to play with the family. His siblings had all been on the same flight, but with a little rain systems coming through Monaco, his parents flight had been delayed a few hours.

Meaning, you got to be eased into meeting your roommate of barely a weeks family, and spending the holidays with them.

As you finally set down some tin foil over the last few sides, sliding them in the oven on a preheat setting to keep everything warm until Lando's parents arrived, Oliver and Flo poke around the corner to look at you.

You don't notice them studying the way you flow through Lando's kitchen, you're too busy counting over the names Lando had told you--Oliver, Flo, and Cisca, his siblings, you think in that order with Lando ahead of Flo. Then, Savannah, Lando's sister-in-law, and his two nieces Mila and Athena. His parents, Cisca and Adam, though you can't imagine calling them anything other than Mr and Mrs. Norris.

"Oh, guys," Lando's tone is full of smiles, proudly waving an arm to you as you turn around and discard your oven mitts onto the counter, "This is my roommate, Yn."

"Ah!" Oliver smiles, Athena in his hands sraring up at you with wonder in her eyes, "This is the roommate I've heard so much about."

"Oh, god, I hope all good things?" You step around Lando to properly greet each sibling, Savannah, and the girls.

"Lando talks about you a lot." Cisca teases softly, looking over at her brother, who flushed and quickly asked what everyone wanted to drink--safely deterring the conversation. Above everyones scurrying heads into the kitchen, you meet Lando's eyes, and find you can't look away as he crinkles up in a smile before turning to find cups for everyone.

A bit later, Lando runs out to go collect his parents from Nice's airport, leaving you with the siblings. Mila and Athena have taken to exploring the living room under their parents watchful eye as you scour for a good Christmas movie for them--settling on the Grinch after a while, just to have it on in the background. You can tell Athena's getting ready for a nap, but with so much excitement and noise, she seems to be struggling to settle down. Savannah seems a bit flustered, so you take a seat with her on the couch while Flo and Cisca sneak some cookies in the kitchen and gossip.

"So," Oliver starts, "We spent so long catching up with Lando, I never had a chance to ask anything about you."

"Oh, Sorry!" Savannah calls, turning to place a hand on your knee, "Don't want you to feel left out!"

"Don't apologize, it's alright! He's your brother and you said, Savannah, the last time you saw him was Goodwood, which was--what, July?" You say, watching as Cisca and Flo come to the living room, sitting down with their nieces and their toys by the big windows. Savannah offering the girls a thankful smile for taking them off her hands for the time being.

"Yeah, it's been a while." Flo hums, "And Cis and I didn't even see him at Goodwood, we saw him at Silverstone."

"He's so busy with racing, I see why but I still worry for him. He's still just the boy he was when we were young and running amuck through the woods in the middle of nowhere. He had no friends back then, and I worry he isolates himself here too, just blames it on being busy." Oliver leans back, running a hand across his head. You can see the worry for a baby brother he's watched grow clear in his eyes, and Savannah soothes a hand across his shoulders in comfort.

You hum softly, "He's got Max. And Oscar, Charles... Carlos, Alex and George, though I guess George is in London now... a lot of the drivers live close--we actually bought them presents for Christmas. He's got all of Quadrant too."

"And you," Flo prompts, looking up from where Athena tries to grab onto her hair.

"Yeah," you breathe out, turning to Oliver, "And me."

"How'd you meet?" Savannah asks and you smile.

"Max Verstappen, his 'bonus daughter' Penelope is the girl I nanny. I've worked for Kelly since Penelope was maybe three or four months, actually. Just an extra set of hands for her, but now I'm sort of like a housekeep? I watch the apartment when they're gone, cook, clean, help them keep track of everything--the two of them are also so busy." You laugh softly, watching as Athena uses the table to toddle her way over to her parents, Savannah picking up the sleepy toddler and laying her on her chest.

"But, with their baby on the way, the room I was living in is turning into a nursery. They didn't want to move, especially with a whole baby coming, so they helped me find a new place to live. Luckily, I knew Lando... kinda... we never really spoke much before but Penelope adores him so I've been out with Penelope at races or even in Monaco, and run into him."

Savannah watches as Athena scoots out of her hold and climbs across the couch, the curious toddler now taking up space in your lap as you wrap up your explanation, and a place a hand on her back, "So, Lando let me move in. I've pretty much transformed his entire apartment in exchange for the rent he's covering for me."

"I was going to say, it looks a lot better than the last time I was here." Oliver chuckles, Savannah countering with, "Yes, it does. A woman's touch was needed for sure."

"Lando kept asking us all about how to live with a girl," Cisca looks over her shoulder, watching as Flo and Mila move to join you on the couch. Little Athena snuggling into the warm of your hold as you move back.

"I told him it was just like living with sisters," Oliver rolls his eyes, "but he was insistent there was a way to do it wrong."

You laugh softly, imaging the way that he had probably begged for some sort of advice over the phone with his siblings, gently rocking a fussy Athena--who has been refusing her nap since she'd gotten into the apartment almost two hours ago now.

You speak softly, to keep the girl from waking up as she nearly is sleeping, "There really isn't, and I've been moving around so much my whole life I don't really have a set way to live. I kinda just adapt."

Before you can say anything else, the front door opens, and Lando announces he's back. Savannah lifts Athena, who whines, clinging to your shirt, and you shake her off, "I can take her, if it's okay."

"Sure, if it's fine. I wouldn't wanna wake her so close to her falling asleep. Athena loves to cuddle, she's a clinger," Savannah laughs softly, brushing her daughters wild curly hair back. You nod, holding her the way Savannah instructs--missing when Penelope used to be this tiny in your arms.

Lando's parents--Adam and Cisca, are happily talking with their children when you round the corner into the kitchen. Everyone turns with your presence, smiling at the sight of Athena curled in your arms, Mrs. Norris audibly aweing at the scene as you smile.

"Hi, it's really lovely to meet you both," You say softly, stepping over so they can give you hugs and greet their granddaughter who refuses to come out of the comfort she'd found nestled in your chest.

"I'll get the food out," Lando says, "I imagine you're all starving,"

"God, please." Flo whines, Oliver going to help his brother. You linger with the Norris parents in the hall, smiling softly as Athena lets out little snores against the warm fabric of your sweater. Savannah long gone after being dragged off by Mila.

Mrs. Norris moves into the kitchen, laughing as she scolds her sons for stealing bits of food while they bring everything out. The stack of bags and gifts flow down the hall now, the jackets and shoes overflowing the racks, and you can't help but smile at the liveliness of the once empty apartment.

"You're a real charmer," Adam says after a second and your attention is drawn to Mr. Norris. He grins, "Haven't seen Lando this organized in years."

You laugh softly, rubbing a soothing hand up and down Athena's back, "It's the least I could do for him, considering he won't let me pay rent. He's been really kind to let me live here."

"That's Lando for ya," Adam looks at his son in the kitchen, helping Mila get seated at the table, "He'd give you the skin off his back if he could."

As if sensing you both looking at him, Lando's head perks up, scowling as he comes over. He takes his father's jacket out of his hands and urges him to go get a plate of the food you'd 'slaved over' making all day in the kitchen. You can't help but giggle as he shoos away his father's knowing smile and wave as he goes to join his wife and kids.

"Thanks for saving this whole holiday," Lando looks over at you, catching the way you're already looking at him. A soft smile gracing your lips as you sway the toddler in your arms.

"Your family is lovely," you reply softly, "I'm glad I could do something for them."

Lando's quiet for a moment, the both of you just watching eachother. Turning back when Flo and Cisca start cracking up over some teasing thing Mrs. Norris is saying as Oliver scowls and rebukes whatever she's saying.

"Do you want a plate?" Lando says, "I can get mine last."

"No no, wouldn't want to wake Athena. I can always heat it up after she wakes." You wave a hand, and Lando nods, stepping closer to wipe a crumb off your cheek and brush a piece of hair back into place before Flo calls him over. You wave him on and he goes, making a spectacle about making his way back to the group.

Slowly, you make your way back into the living room, slowly sinking down on the couch and getting comfortable with Athena still snoring in your arms. And as the Norris' carry on in the kitchen, you can help but lay your head back on the cushions, cuddling in to the comfiest position you can find.

You fall asleep around the point Martha May announces her love for the Grinch, and right before Flo brings out Uno for the group at the table to play.

Lando comes over about twenty minutes later, pausing when he sees you knocked out. The rest of the family peeking around the corner as Lando grabs a blanket from the chair in the corner and walks over to where you are--Athena still snuggling into your hold. He gently drapes the blanket over the two of you, grabbing a pillow to lay under your head so your neck isn't killing you in the morning, and just takes a pause to sit next to you.

His eyes travel down your hair, to your closed eyes, parted lips, the soft breaths that leave you. The way Athena has tucked herself against your chest like she just knows you're safety, that you know how to take care of her. He lifts the blanket a little higher, resists the urge to press a chaste kiss to your forehead, and stands.

No one moves fast enough for him to not catch them staring.

"Looked like you were gonna kiss her for a second," His father chimes. Lando feels heat rise to his cheeks as his siblings laugh and he just waves away their comments as he comes back to play the game with them.

When Athena stumbles in to cuddle her mom about thirty minutes later, he peeks out to see you still asleep on the couch and tilts his head. Oliver leaning on the wall leaning into the living room as Lando steps forward, tucks his arms underneath you and carefully lifts you. It's not graceful by any means, but when your eyes flutter and you settle in as he holds his breath, Oliver bites his lip to keep himself from laughing at Lando.

"I'll get the door." Oliver says, nodding his head to where the spare bedroom is. His whole family pretends not to see him nearly whack your head into the wall when he brings you into your room and lays you on the bed. Mrs. Norris does come to ensure her son has you tucked in properly, with the blinds lowered to block out the setting sun as you curl up in your bed.

"Poor thing, she's absolutely knackered." She hums, waving Oliver out of the room as Lando sheepishly rubs his neck, walking over to her.

"She cooked all day, and we've spent the week decorating everything," his voice is soft as he looks over at your sleeping form in the bed, before his mother pulls him out of the room to shut the door.

"Well, she did a wonderful job." She winks knowingly at him, earning a shy laugh from Lando as she brings him back over to the table to keep playing games.

You do manage to get up and freshen up around nine, after his family has left to sleep off their jetlag. Lando's sitting on the couch with--surprisingly to you, Penelope.

"Max dropped her off, he and Kelly have dinner with their parents and P was supposedly exhausted." Lando pokes the girls cheek, but you can see she's clearly wide awake, sheepishly smiling up at you as you chuckle to yourself.

"I'm sure she was," You chime, sitting down at the counter as Penelope climbs up to sit next to you, leaning on you and looking up at you through her long lashes.

"I just didn't wanna go." Penelope admits softly, "All everyone's been talking about is the baby. I don't care about the stupid baby, I wish it was just me again, and I didn't have to fight this little thing in my Mommy's belly for some attention."

You hum, rubbing a hand up and down Penelope's back. She'd been complaining to you about the baby since you'd gotten back to Monaco, and you'd brought it up to Max and Kelly already. From the time spent in their apartment with them, you knew it wasn't their fault Penelope was feeling this way--after her first complaint. They'd both apologized to her, and explained it to her, and after that Penelope had been fine for a while.

But having every single person in your extended family fawning over the unborn baby in your mothers stomach--buying him tons of gifts and clothes, things Penelope was used to be doted onto her, the shift had to feel weird.

"Max and Kelly still love you," it's Lando who chimes from the couch, groaning as he stands up and stretched out his shoulders, "It's been hard for them with the baby coming, and you know how much the baby needs."

Penelope nods and you pout. Usually, Christmas Eve was reserved for the Verstappen-Piquets to spend the entire night together. But it seemed every one of their traditions had been tossed aside.

"How about this," you say softly, "I have some stuff left over to bake. Why don't you, Lando, and I make some cookies for Santa, hm? We can leave them out at your apartment when I drop you off."

Penelope does light up at that and agrees, so as Lando helps her get supplies, you finish shoveling your dinner into your mouth before standing to help them with baking.

By the end of it, after Penelope's roped you and Lando into a flour fight you know is going to be a disaster to clean up, you and Lando end up carrying up a sleeping Penelope and a plate of cookies. Max laughs softly at the sight of the three of you covered in flour, and Kelly thanks you both for staying up later to watch her.

When you return to Lando's apartment, the two of you elect to finish watching whatever movie is playing on the tv. And the quiet moment, broken by occasionally showing each other something on your phones or asking questions about this absolutely absurd 80s christmas movie, just fills the home with a sense of warmth you aren't expecting to feel.

It almost makes you not want to go to bed, but alas, the Norris' are coming back over in the morning, so you two duck off to bed eventually--hesitating to part due to the invisible magnet that holds you close.

SEE NOTES ABOUT TAG LISTS BELOW:

general tag list (open, tagged in all my fics, will not update for this series. If you'd like to be added to my general list FOR this series, let me know and I'll tag you in the comments!

@d3kstar @justalittlejess @tvdtw4ever @llando4norris @daemyratwst @piastri-fvx @sltwins

series specific tag (closed BUT SEE BELOW!!)

@nikfigueiredo @ilovechickenwings @supertrashbread @sltwins @mwuaferrari @si1ver06 @linnygirl09 @kikiki81 @kittylolly4 @lazybot @tylerstacobell @formula1fordisaster @sheblogs @suns3treading @kqliie @jxnellat @anxiousbananna @hard4ndsoft @majasophieanna @diorbrxtz @freyathehuntress @obxstiles @cstads-blog @wierdflowerpower @delululeclerc @honethatty12 @henna006 @chlmtfilms @littlegrapejuice @piastrams @ravisinghs-wife @sturmatt @sagestack @bravo-delta-eccho @eiffel-hood @widow-cevans @ash88-yep @emryb @changetyre @raynetargaryan2 @callsignsiren @mayusaatma @sid-is-gr8  @awritingtree @urstepdaughter @4-ln4

TO BE TAGGED IN COMMENTS OF EACH NEW CHAPTER:

@celestrablack @hadids-world @keij0h @annimausi

(thank you to all the new people (and my return readers ofc), and everyone who has left such kind words!! happy holidays to you all <3)

[hiiraya]

loml

pairing: natasha romanoff  x reader 

words: ~3.3k

warnings: angst, happy ending (?), literally just self-indulgent writing, messy writing, listen to loml by taylor swift to get in the sad mood

a/n: merry christmas everyone! the last thing I posted was january of 2022 and it's literally about to be 2025 - I've been in a reminiscing mood lately and this was something I've had in the drafts for months, I figured I should just release it to get it out of my system. your girl has been missing someone bad bro and the urge to tag them in this is insane ♡ anyways, hope they see this lmao

“Have a safe flight and text me when you land, yeah?”

“I will, I will. Get home safe and update me as well, okay?”

You release your cousin from your hold, giving their shoulder a quick squeeze as they pull away. You do a last minute check with them to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything important - something you were always prone to do when travelling by yourself. The memory of you almost missing your international flight because you had rushed home and back to the airport within record speed, all because you had forgotten your passport of all things. 

“I’ll fly out to see you next time, so you can show me around.” You smile.

“Are you guys serious? I told you to leave early so that this exact thing wouldn’t happen!”

Your eyebrows immediately furrow at the familiar voice, catching one last glance of your cousin as they enter the security screening area, waving to them while you mouth one last ‘text me when you land!’ as they leave your sight, before turning around to find the source of the voice.

No way it’s her, you thought. What’s she doing here?

As you get closer to the arrivals board, your questions are answered. Standing there in all her glory, is the one woman you never thought you’d lay your eyes on again.

“Natasha?”

You see the puzzled look on her face as she registers your voice before she even lays her eyes on you. Watching as the confusion turns to irritation - whether it was towards you or whoever was on the other side of the phone, you couldn’t tell (most likely both) - you watch as a deep sigh she releases as she glances at the board in front of her once again.

“-that’s another 10 hours before you guys even land.” She sighs, exasperation lacing her voice.

“Hey, listen if you need help-”

She holds a finger up to silence you, eyes meeting yours in a piercing glance. “I don’t need help, and especially not from you Y/N L/N.”

At her words, you look down, the sight of your shoes a welcome one as you take a second to recover. Honestly, you thought to yourself, I deserved that. 

“Yes, it’s Y/N- no I did not! I swear I didn’t know that they were here.” You hear her mutter from beside you. Deciding to save the both of you from further embarrassment, you turn your attention elsewhere, wondering what your cousin would say once you eventually tell them about who you ran into immediately after they left.

You lift your head back up when you hear Natasha mumble "you guys pick the day before Christmas of all days to be late for your flight” followed by a quick goodbye before hanging up the phone, watching her scope the airport for her next step. 

You could just leave and pretend this ever happened.

“Come on, Nat, I promise I just want to help.” You find yourself saying instead. “I can take you to your hotel when they get here.”

Well, there's no going back from that now.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?”

You really needed to stop opening your mouth.

“Okay, you know what, I deserve that.” You pause. “Listen, I’m not going to force you to come with me, but the offer is still there if you want it. You’ll get a free ride, plus you can use my apartment to rest and freshen up while you wait.”

 -x-

"I can't believe you talked me into this."

You spare a glance to Natasha, who was currently sitting in your passenger seat.

"You're the one that followed me to the car?"

She rolls her eyes at your confused tone, choosing to ignore what you said and instead checking her phone - most likely waiting for an update from whoever she was speaking to on the phone before. "I can't believe they missed their flight."

"Who's they?"

"Yelena, Maria, Wanda," she answers. "Oh, and Yelena's friend Kate too. I don't think you've met her."

You bit the inside of your cheek, because you already know that you didn't get to meet anyone named Kate while you were still together. You honestly didn't get to meet many of Natasha's friends whenever visited her - it was something you always fought over. It felt like she was ashamed of you, always wanting to keep you hidden, a secret she never planned on sharing with the world.

You refrain from asking any follow up questions - if Natasha wanted you to know more she would tell you.

Instead, you ask: "Did they manage to catch the next flight out?"

She nods. "I'm honestly surprised they did, considering how expensive it probably would've been. But knowing Maria, she probably would've pulled some strings to make it work."

Natasha finally looks up from her phone as you come to a stop, looking at the building you had just parked in front of.

"Where are we?"

"My apartment, I figured we could drop off your bags and you can freshen up before I show you around." You open the door for Natasha before moving to grab her bags from the trunk.

You lead her inside, setting her bags down in the living room before turning around to face Natasha - holding your arms out as you gesture to your living space. It's the first time she's ever stepped foot into this place, having only seen it through a phone screen since you were the one who would fly out to visit her when you were still together.

"I'll grab you some towels so you can freshen up, but make yourself at home." You say, gesturing for her to follow you down a hallway. "The bathroom is the first door to your left, there should be a spare toothbrush under the sink- wait did I give to my cousin? Well, we can grab you one while we're out but everything you need should be here."

You know you're rambling but you don't stop in fear of saying something stupid (which knowing you, is highly likely).

"If you want to take a nap, the guest room is just a little further down the hall on the right - I just changed the sheets so everything should be fresh."

It's not the way you wanted to be showing Natasha around your home for the first time, but you'll take what you can get. It'd be so easy to waltz back to the way things were, before everything fell apart but you didn't have the right to that anymore. You weren't a part of her life anymore.

You didn't know if she already had someone new in her life, maybe you were overstepping in so many ways and that it was best to just keep your distance. After all, you did promise that you just wanted to help. You were here to keep her company until the girls arrived and take her to the hotel when they finally did get here.

You know it's for the better to just move on, that after today she'll be gone and it'll be like she never made a reappearance in your life. But how could you when you know deep down that you still haven't fully moved on and that she'll always hold your heart in her hands?

Natasha's voice cuts off your reverie, bringing you back to the present as you hand her the towels.

"Give me an hour to shower and rest my feet for a bit, I wanna go out and explore while we wait."

 -x-

"Do you see that one over there? That's a hammerhead shark! They're one of the most powerful sharks in the ocean."

Natasha hears the little girl gasp, watching their eyes going wide with wonder. She can't help the small laugh that escapes when she sees the young girl lean closer towards the glass before loudly whispering, "is it going to eat us?"

You laugh softly, and Natasha can't help but think that she's missed hearing the sound of your laugh, something she thought she wouldn’t hear again. It comforts her slightly to know that it hasn't changed after all these years, and that  she can still easily recognise the sound as being yours only.

"It won't eat us! Sharks don't eat humans," she hears you explain. "They're more interested in fish and seals, than they are humans. But they are really strong swimmers, and they can smell things from miles away - even in water!"

She'd been watching you answer questions about sharks for the past 5 minutes, after a curious little girl ran up to while you were looking at the shark tank and asked if you knew what type of shark was swimming in front of the glass.

"Do sharks talk to each other?"

"They don't talk like we do, but they do communicate by using their bodies and how they move through the water. Some sharks even make sounds by rubbing their teeth together, kind of like a secret language that only they can hear."

It doesn't take long for the girl's mother to find the three of you, sighing in relief as she sees her daughter, looking up at you apologetically.

"Sorry, she's probably been asking you a million questions."

You give the woman a friendly smile and shake your head. "It was nothing, I loved answering all of her questions." You tell her. "It looks like you might have a future marine biologist on your hands."

"Let's leave the lovely ladies to enjoy the rest of their date, bubba."

"Oh- it's not-"

"We're not-"

The mother and daughter are already walking off before either of you could finish your sentences, leaving you and Natasha standing in front of the shark exhibit with red cheeks and thundering heartbeats. 

Natasha catches your eyes as you glance at her in a shy glance, and she knows it's too late. The warmth that passes through her as you smile, the same warm and knowing smile that you used to give her when everything was still okay was almost enough to bring her down to her knees.

You interrupt before her thoughts can spiral any further, clearing your throat before gesturing with your head the direction of the next exhibit.

"Shall we keep going?"

 -x-

Natasha sits across from you at a small café by the beach. You mention to her that it was your secret place, one that you go to when you wanted time to slow down and just have a moment to catch your breath. After the little incident at the aquarium, you guys decided it was best to just sit and people watch for the time being to avoid any more awkward interactions.

The warmth emanating from the cup of coffee did little to chase away the little chills that ran down her spine every time Natasha caught you gaze lingering on her for longer than you must've realised.

She told you about the plans that she and the girls had made for their vacation while you filled her in on your own life, telling her about your cousin that had just recently come to visit you just before Christmas.

"I'm glad you chose to come with me." You admit after a pause in conversation, voice soft. She turns to look at you, your eyes meeting hers with such an intensity it made her breath get caught in her throat. "I missed getting to talk to you like this."

She can tell that you spoke without thinking, the widening of your eyes giving you away. You look away, muttering a quiet "sorry" before lifting your drink to your lips in an attempt to hide the flush of your cheeks.

She was supposed to be over you. She'd told herself time and time again that she had moved on, but seeing you again, and being here with you, she couldn't deny that she was still in love with you. Having you so close yet so unreachable leaves an ache in her chest.

Throughout the time you two had been sat at the café, she watched you with fondness at the way your eyes lit up while you spoke with excitement in your voice about the things you and your cousin had gotten up to in the week they were with you; Natasha realises that she missed you too - and the comfort that you brought her just by simply being near.

"Nat? You okay?" The worry in your voice only deepens the ache in her heart.

"Yeah, no, sorry - I'm okay." She answers with a shaky nod, breathing deeply. She allows herself to feel her emotions, knowing that it would only do harm if she tried to deny herself this moment with you.

"I missed you too."

The sadness settles deep within her chest, the way you looked so shocked at her words - and she wonders if you were expecting her dismiss your words.

Her phone pings loudly from where it was placed on the table, the text tone sounding off four times in a row as her screen lights up between the two of you.

Natasha!! We've landed :D - Wanda

Sestra, we're on our way to the hotel now, tell lover girl to drop you off now - Yelena

Hi Nat, sorry again - we'll be there in 30 minutes! - Kate

I'll check us in if we make it to the hotel first, Nat, just let us know when you're there - Maria

You both watch as each text pops up on her phone, knowing that your time together was coming to an end.

Natasha watches as you ponder for a moment - wondering if you were going to add on to your words from before now that she's admitted that she missed you too. For a second it does seem like you're about to say something, but instead you just shake your head slightly to yourself, clearing your throat and as you look away, flagging down a waiter to pay for the meal you shared.

"We should probably get going if we want to get to the hotel at the same time as them."

She allows herself a moment to watch as you gather everything, absentmindedly listening to you talk about leaving now so we don't hit traffic - though I guess it's fair to make them wait, considering they made you wait like 10 hours, that's a practically a whole day wasted where you guys could've been sightseeing!

Natasha knows your putting on a brave front - she can see it in your eyes as you gather your wallet and keys, but she begrudgingly gets up after you pay for the bill, walking back with you to your car.

Already dreading the moment she has to say goodbye.

-x-

"Well, I guess this is where I leave you."

Pulling up at the front of the hotel, you catch a glance of Yelena, Kate and Wanda through the window. Even though you couldn't see her, you knew Maria wouldn't be too far away. Probably checking everyone in, you assumed as you parked your car near the entrance.

You do your best to avoid looking at Natasha, taking your time in getting out and grabbing her bags from the trunk, knowing this could very well be the last time you see her again. The thought alone breaks your heart all over again - you can recall all the times you've begged the universe to let your paths cross once more. Now that your wish has been granted and you're preparing to say goodbye to her once again, you deeply feel the loss of her from your life before it's even happened.

She's already watching you as you close the trunk. You hope that she can't see the tears that have been slowly building up since you started the drive to the hotel. You refuse to let yourself hope that the look in her eyes could mean anything order than gratitude.

"Thank you, Y/N, for today." She tells you softly.

"It's was nothing, Nat," you say with a smile, before softly adding, "you're welcome and I hope you guys have a Merry Christmas."

Getting lost in the silence that falls between you; you miss the way she's looking at you as you stare down at your shoes, waiting for her to grab her things and go so you can drive back to your apartment and sulk for the rest of the week. You wonder if she can see the way your hands are shaking as you wait for the inevitable goodbye.

"Y/N?"

You hum in response, not trusting your voice to stay steady if you decided to use actual words.

"I had a really good time today."

You tilt your head in curiosity. You've had a hard time all day trying to gauge if Natasha was having enjoying herself or not. There's no doubt in your mind that she would've said something if she wasn't.

"And it got me thinking," she continues. "I don't know- maybe I'm reading into everything wrong, and you can absolutely say no. You'll probably say no, because this is crazy, but I had to say something before I lose my mind-"

"Nat." You interrupt. As endearing as it was to hear her ramble on, to see her getting more and more flustered as she kept talking, you knew she'd work herself up before she every got to what she actually wanted to say.

"Breathe, love."

You nod encouragingly after she takes a deep breath, giving her time to gather her thoughts.

"Maybe it doesn't have to be so wrong, you know?" She starts. "To try again."

You try to hide the shock that you feel, but can't stop the way your eyes widen ever so slightly at her words. Never in a million years did you expect her to even say yes to spending the day with you, let alone suggest giving your relationship another go.

Does she mean just a friendship or an actual relationship?

Is she just saying that because of today?

What if she realises she doesn't actually mean that later on?

What if this was just a joke and she was just waiting for you to say yes so she can go "aha! I was just kidding as if I'd be serious."?

What if-

"We're different people now, don't you think?"

Confused but curious to know what else you had to say, she nods. "I'd say we are."

"We're older than we were before." You add. "We know a lot more about ourselves now, I'm not the scared kid I used to be."

You're scared of making the same mistakes you did all those years ago. But you also know that you're more than willing to learn from those mistakes; to stay and communicate to make things work instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. Because if there's anything you want more in the world, it's to make this work with her.

But just as much as you are scared, you can't help but be excited. Excited and honoured to learn more about this new Natasha, and fall in love with her all over again. You can't wait to find out what stayed the same, and what changed about her. Whatever she was willing to share with you, you'd gladly take.

"I could love you properly this time."

She gasps softly, and your heart pounds at the prospect of already scaring her away.

The thought of her friends seeing this happening through the window of the hotel briefly crosses your mind - you wonder if they'd approve of you making a return to Natasha's life or if they'll make you work for it after the way things ended between you two.

But she smiles, stepping into your personal space to wrap her arms around your neck and all thoughts leave your mind. The only thing you can focus on is Natasha pulling you closer so her words are only for your ears and your ears only to hear.

"I could love you properly this time too."

-----

@sadonism

[cosmicdahlias]

Christmas Across the Rio Grande

Logan Howlett x Reader

MINORS DNI

Christmas has come and you’re spending it getting drunk with an old, hardened Logan.

tags: age gap, alcohol use, drunk sex, couch sex, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie

sooo timeline-wise this takes place at the end of 2028. i tried to do my best research as to when caliban comes into the picture and there wasn’t much, but from what i’ve read it seems logan recruited him some time in 2029, so he will not be in this fic. sorry for posting a christmas fic a day late, i only got the idea for this two days ago 😭

Life had not been the same in months. Charles Xavier, once head and founder of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, had developed dementia, leading to frequent destructive telepathic seizures. One such seizure became known as the Westchester Incident, leaving the school destroyed, many injured, and some of your fellow mutants dead.

Having grown up in an orphanage until aging out of the system and spending the first eight years of adulthood on the streets, Charles was the closest thing you’d ever had to a father and the school was the only place that ever truly felt like home. In such a short time you had lost both. Even though Charles was still very much alive, the dementia left him a shell of his former self.

After Westchester the United States government declared Charles’ brain as a “weapon of mass destruction”, leaving you and another mutant to take him and go on the run, fleeing to an abandoned smelting plant in Mexico just across the Rio Grande.

The other mutant was the notorious Wolverine, Logan Howlett. For reasons unknown to you, his appearance had changed dramatically in the last five years. Despite not being able to age he looked like he’d gone from forty to sixty in record time.

Since escaping with you and Charles to Mexico, Logan had taken to going by “James”, his actual name, and worked as a limo driver in the border city of El Paso. He would regularly smuggle in the drugs to keep Charles’ seizures at bay.

In the days before Westchester you were never fond of Logan. He was a loner, seeming to keep everyone at arm’s length, save for those he would bed. Perhaps it was his tendencies towards promiscuity when he claimed to be in love with Jean Grey, a married woman, that irked you more than his personality.

He was passed around the mansion so frequently that from what you’d heard there were times he accidentally “double booked” himself. There was a part of you, buried somewhere deep, that harbored a resentment towards him for never seeking out your affections like he did for nearly any other adult with a pulse.

Living in close proximity since being thrust into exile with him had softened your opinions considerably. The shared trauma of losing everything and everyone had brought you two closer, as close as he would allow.

December was coming to an end. The nights were blisteringly cold and the winds only served to make them colder. The poorly insulated, run-down plant did little to protect you from the elements.

You were heading back inside from painstakingly, but successfully, attempting to medicate Charles. The heavy gales howled, making it a struggle to close the door before finally managing slam it shut. You turned around to see Logan sitting on the couch, bottle of whiskey in hand. He was wearing his typical non-work attire, a white tank top and jeans.

“He finally down?” He asked.

“For now, I swear those drugs used to knock him out for longer. He wouldn’t stop going on about Taco Bell for some reason.”

“Yeah, he uh… he does that a lot now.”

You gave a heavy sigh.

“It just sucks because it makes those moments where he acts like himself again hurt more.”

“What’d he say this time?”

“He just- I don’t know- whenever he actually says my name I know it’s him in there. Most of the time he calls me Jean, but I-“ your voice began to break “I don’t know how much more of this I can take Logan, watching his mind wither away into nothing.” You said, tears forming in your eyes.

For a moment you swore you saw a flicker of concern spread across his face.

“I’m thinking of bringing in some extra help.” He said.

“And what? We risk someone else knowing that we’re harboring a fugitive?”

“With me working that leaves you as the only one here most of the time. If god forbid something happens while I’m out and he hurts you, what then?”

You fell silent. He was right, you couldn’t keep caring for Charles alone when his seizures could be so dangerous and unpredictable. You had no rebuttal.

“Fine, but finding another mutant won’t be easy.”

“I’m well aware, but I’m done talking business, you look like you could use a drink.”

Logan extended out his bottle of whiskey, a rare invitation for you to join him. You smirked and took it.

“Look at you actually wanting to interact with someone for once.”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

You sat next to him on the moth-eaten couch, drinking a few shots worth from the bottle.

“Thirsty?” Logan asked with a cocked brow.

“Shut up, it’s been a long day.” You retorted, downing another shot and handing the bottle back to him.

Between the two of you the whiskey was finished within half an hour, leaving you significantly intoxicated, him slightly less so. When drunk Logan was far more open, and for the first time since Westchester you actually saw him smile. As the night progressed the two of you reminisced about life before Mexico and shared life stories you hadn’t told each other.

“A cage fighter?” You giggled.

“Yeah, went by Wolverine back then too.”

“Wow, too lazy to even try to come up with another name?” You teased as you looked down at your phone and read the time, midnight of the 25th.

“Oh shit, it’s already Christmas.” You said.

“Honestly wouldn’t have known if you didn’t say anything, the days just run together at this point.”

“No kidding, everything’s so different now.”

“… Yeah.”

A wistful silence hung in the air for a moment before you spoke.

“You know it’s hard not to miss the holidays back at the school… can’t say I miss Jean’s cooking though. I know how you felt about her, but that woman could not season food to save her life. I’m pretty sure she thought salt was too spicy.”

Logan gave a chuckle.

“Can’t disagree with you on that one.”

“I think what I miss most was seeing the kids all happy on Christmas morning, growing up in an orphanage I never got that for myself. Thanks to Bobby they always had a good snowball fight.”

“I miss that kid. Him and Rogue.”

“Kid? They were both pushing 40.” You laughed.

“They were kids when I met them and that’s always how I’ll remember them. Especially Rogue.”

“I always thought she saw you as like a father figure.”

“She definitely did, no matter how many times I told her not to.”

“I miss her so much, she was the first one other than Charles to make me feel like I belonged there. Fuck, I just miss all of them. It was only five years, but it was the best damn five years of my life, actually having something like a family.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

You gave a wry smile.

“And in the end out of all of the X-Men to be stuck with of course it had to be you.” You teased, elbowing him playfully.

“You say that like it’s a joke, but you really had it in for me.���

“I mean I did, but you didn’t exactly come off as a nice guy.”

“I can be a nice guy, you just never tried to get to know me.”

“Would you have let me though?”

“Maybe.”

He looked at you in a way you’d never seen from him before, it made your heart do a backflip.

“You know, even if I wasn’t crazy about you back then I’m glad you’re here with me.” You said.

Logan raised a brow.

“Why’s that?”

“Because as much as I hate to say it, I’ve grown to like you.”

“A mistake honestly.” He chuckled.

A cold desert wind suddenly blew against dilapidated smelting plant. Frigid air crept in through the gaps in the walls, eliciting a shiver as it hit you.

“Cold?” Logan asked.

“Y- yeah.“

“Alright, c’mere.”

Logan pulled you against him, wrapping his arms around you. His body radiated an incredible amount of heat, a more than welcoming feeling in the bitter temperatures.

“Holy shit, you’re like a fucking furnace.” You said.

“Yeah? You like it?”

“God yes.”

His hands began to wander down to the small of your back. You traced the outline of his pecs with your fingertips. He looked at you, eyes betraying an intense desire as he cupped your cheek, coming in close.

“Merry Christmas, Logan.” You whispered as his lips met yours.

Starting slow and soft, Logan’s kisses quickly turned more passionate, a distinct hunger to them. He moved his hands to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. You felt his hard cock press into you through his jeans. You rolled your hips against him, causing him to let out a growl. He lowered his head, kissing and gingerly biting your neck. You moaned as his teeth scraped against the soft skin.

His hands began to drift to the hem of your shirt, gathering the fabric in his fingers and slowly lifting it over your head. He unclasped your bra, sliding the straps off your arms and tossing its aside. You watched his eyes take in the curvature of your breasts.

“Good fuckin’ god, you’re perfect.” He whispered, cupping one of your breasts and circling the nipple with his thumb.

Logan’s hands fell to your hips, tugging down your jeans until they landed on the floor with your shirt. His fingers circled your clit over your panties, the thin barrier of fabric did little to keep you from turning into a whimpering mess.

“Goddam, I love those little noises.“

Logan dipped his head down to kiss your neck again, you moaned and began to grind yourself against him.

“Hmm, getting excited there, princess? Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh.” You whimpered.

“Yeah? Let me make it feel even better for you, babygirl.”

Logan hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your panties, sliding them off your legs. He slipped a hand between your thighs, dragging his fingers along the slit of your dripping pussy.

“So wet and worked up for me.”

Logan returned his fingers to your clit, you dug your nails into his shoulders, the feeling of direct stimulation was almost too overwhelming. It had been far too long since you were last touched like this, or even touched yourself. You weren’t going to last much longer.

“F- fuck, I’m- I’m so close.”

“There you go, that’s it. Cum for me, princess.”

Logan pulled you into a kiss with his free hand as you came undone on his fingers, the electric pulses of your orgasm surging through you.

“Oh god, Logan.” You moaned against his mouth.

Logan kissed you aggressively as your orgasm faded. He dropped his head to your breasts, peppering kisses to them as he spoke.

“God, you’re so hot when you cum. You need to see what you’re doing to me, babygirl.”

Logan’s hands moved to his belt, unbuckling it, he unzipped his jeans and freed his already throbbing cock from his boxers. Logan took your hand in his, guiding it to wrap around his shaft. You gathered beads of precum from his head, using it to lubricate the length of his cock as you stroked him.

“Fuuuck, your hand feels good, but I need that pussy. You wanna ride me, princess?”

You nodded.

“That’s my good girl.”

You shifted yourself to hover just above is cock, sinking down onto him, barely taking more than his head before wincing as you felt his massive girth stretch you wide.

“You alright?” Logan asked.

“Y- yeah, just been a while. Not used to one this big either.”

“Then take it slow, princess. Don’t rush it.”

You continued to lower yourself onto his cock, following his instructions to go slow. A small shudder escaped his lips.

“Fuckin’ Christ, you’re so tight.”

You reached the hilt of his shaft, feeling him throb inside you as you began to lift and drop your hips.

“Attagirl, just like that. Nice and easy.” Logan said, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you closer.

“Christ, living with you was starting to drive me crazy. I could barely take seeing you in the summer, your ass in those little shorts. You don’t know how many times I had to jerk off because of you.”

You blushed and whimpered at the thought of Logan getting so worked up over you.

“Hmm, you like that, babygirl? You like knowing you made this old man stroke his fat fuckin’ cock to you?” He grunted as he grabbed your hips, thrusting up into you.

You nodded.

“Use your words, princess.”

“Y- yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

You moved yourself up and down on his cock, sliding him all the way out until only the head remained before taking his full length back deep inside you. Logan’s eyes wandered over every inch of body. His hand moved to one of your breasts.

“Fuck, I can’t get enough of these tits, and this ass.” He growled.

He raised his hand and brought it down sharply on your ass, eliciting a yelp.

“Sorry, princess, couldn’t help myself.”

“N- no it’s okay, I like it.”

“Oh? You like it rough, huh?”

“Y- yeah.”

“Well, guess I gotta fuck you senseless then.”

In one swift motion Logan grabbed you by the waist, picking you up and throwing you down onto the couch on your back with him on top of you. You barely had a second to adjust to the new position before he forced every inch of himself inside you. He pinned your wrists above your head as he fucked you with a punishing speed.

“How’s that feel? Am I rough enough for you, princess?”

“Y- yeah. F- feels so good.”

“Attagirl.”

Logan’s breathing hitched, his hips stuttering.

“Christ, that tight little pussy’s gonna make me fuckin’ cum. Where do you want it, babygirl?” Logan panted.

“In me, I need you to cum in me. Please.” You whined.

“Jesus, I know you’re not on the pill, but keep begging like that and I’ll have to knock you up.”

“Oh god, please. I don’t care if we’re unprotected. I need it, fucking breed me.” You pleaded.

Your words ignited something within him. He thrusted furiously into you at a blinding pace, his breathing becoming ragged and heavy. He leaned down and sank his teeth into your neck and gave a loud growl, slamming the full length of his cock inside you as he came hot, thick ropes deep in you.

Logan gave a last few thrusts, his breathing beginning to settle. He pressed his forehead to yours.

“Jesus Christ, princess, it’s been way too damn long since someone’s made me feel that good. I hope you know this is not a one time thing, you’re fuckin’ mine now.”

You laced your fingers in his salt and pepper hair, kissing him passionately. He pulled out and you moved to dress yourself, but were interrupted by him grabbing your waist.

“No princess, you’re staying with me.”

He picked you up and carried you to his room, setting you down on the bed. He laid next to you, pulling you to him with your head against his chest. Between the exhaustion of the day and the warmth radiating from Logan, you felt your eyelids grow heavy. He kissed the top of your head as you drifted off to sleep.

[vi-is-badass]

@lady-griffin I agree with most of what you said here, but I definitely disagree that Vi was motivated by revenge when it comes to Silco. She believed in season 1 that taking out Silco was the only way to get her sister back.

I think this is clear in almost every action she takes. When she attacks Sevika in episode 5 she calls her a traitor but when she finally has her on the ground the only thing she asks about is her sister, not Silco. She went after Sevika because she knows she's one of the last people who saw Powder that night and might know what became of her.

In episode 8 when she's talking with Caitlyn in her bedroom she talks about that night as a failure on her part to protect her sister from Silco.

In episode 9 when she fights Sevika for the second time it's because she thinks that to get her sister she has to get rid of Silco and to do that she has to take out Sevika, his right hand man.

In that same episode when Vi talks about what gets her through prison it's the thought of getting back to Jinx, not getting revenge on Silco.

Her motives for the raid with Jayce are personal, but I don't believe revenge is what motivates her. If she was given the opportunity to live with her sister away from Zaun and Pitlover-- away from Silco-- I think there is a chance she would have taken it because at this point especially she’s motivated by her desire to protect and fear of losing those she loves.

Vi is a character that tries to do the right thing-- she does have a "good heart"-- but her trauma and the fact that she's constantly put between a rock and a hard place make it so she frequently makes the wrong decision or her decisions rarely pan out. (Vi was trying to mitigate casualties and damage when she became an enforcer, but it was definitely the wrong decision. Tries to do the right thing, but makes the wrong decision)

But everything you said in your last response about the lack of exploration of Vi's perspective on the grey, Caitlyn's descent, and the increasing brutality of the strike team are things that are sorely missing from the show. (my initial response was meant to counter the idea that Vi was out of character in act 1)

While this lack of exploration doesn't make her actions in act 1 out of character, I do believe it makes certain beats not hit as hard as they could have (like you mentioned with the scene where she stops Caitlyn from at shooting Isha and Jinx) and in some cases really hurt the "resolution" for her character in act 3.

I especially agree with your point about Vi turning the "I thought you were different" back on Caitlyn because her thoughts on Caitlyn's actions in act 1 and occupation of Zaun are woefully underexplored.

We only really get insight on her guilt over it all in the montage at the start of episode 5. She feels responsible for what Caitlyn has become and for being a part of the start of something that turned into an oppressive occupation of her people.

But we don't get true insight into her feelings on Caitlyn’s role as the commander, the checkpoints, the detainments that lack adequate cause, the brutality and oppression disguised behind a thin veneer of justice.

And I think this is a huge missed opportunity because of just how Vi falling for Caitlyn was framed in season 1.

Vi falls for Caitlyn in season 1 because Caitlyn chose to fight for her and the undercity. She didn’t have to fight— she had nothing to gain, nothing to lose if she didn't fight like everyone in the undercity— and yet she chose to fight anyway.

Caitlyn was genuine in her desire to help and fight against a system she learned through her connection to Vi has oppressed the people of the undercity. She also sees what Vi believes is the worst of her during the bedroom scene and still reaches for Vi anyway, giving her empathy and grace that has never been afforded to her before.

But then all of that crumbles in season 2. Caitlyn becomes the worst version of herself out of grief and the sudden immense responsibility thrust upon her shoulders and actively becomes the face of the oppression Vi and her people face. Caitlyn no longer wants to fight corruption and actively participates in it. Gone is the empathy and understanding of season 1. Gone is that desire to fight for Vi and the undercity that made her fall in love in the first place.

There isn't really any exploration of the betrayal that might have felt like because like you said Vi really did think that Caitlyn was different.

(Side note: I really love the idea of Vi repeating Caitlyn's justification for using the grey to Jinx. That would have been a fantastic way of showing that Vi was losing herself. Honestly every point you made in that last response was spot on. I also agree with your take on the hellfire montage. The lyrics definitely fit Vi and her perspective much more than Caitlyn's while the visuals are from Caitlyn's persepctive)

Caitlyn and Vi weaponizing toxic air pollution against the undercity and then Jinx and Sevika using Janna’s temple to recreate her legendary miracle by blowing that toxic air back onto Piltover.

Jinx (and Sevika) just became the hero Zaun needs.

[comesatimecomesashadow]

meet the frownies *ೃ༄

pairing *ೃ༄ sunday x reader

fic type *ೃ༄ headcanons, once-shot, comfort

cw *ೃ༄ mentions of mild/severe depression (no mentions of SH or other similar topics)

summary *ೃ༄ sunday takes care of you during your hardest moments.

note *ೃ༄ i've made so many of these for different characters, its crazy | also its my first time writing 4 sunday so don't judge too harshly TwT

masterlist *ೃ༄

ᡣ𐭩 . . Sunday is already reluctant to have you out of his sight for too long, so he notices right away when you’re dealing with a particularly bad episode of depression. Being the attentive lover that he is, he studies up on your condition and equips himself with knowledge to learn how to take care of you and how to approach you during these episodes. 

ᡣ𐭩 . . He isn’t one to beat around the bush and frankly, he hates it when others do too. However, he understands if you don’t want to come with him about your mental issues. He’ll coax you into it sooner or later, you of course, won’t notice. 

ᡣ𐭩 . . Sunday won’t force you to do anything (per sé), he’ll only suggest something and make you feel like it was your choice in the first place. He’ll have the butlers and servants of his mansion tend to you with the utmost care. Craving something sweet? Or perhaps a book to read- maybe pages to color? Chances are, he’s already sent for it. 

ᡣ𐭩 . . If you have a preference for solitude, he assumes that your solitude excludes him. Whether you like it or not, Sunday will always stay at your side during these moments and make sure his dearest isn’t lacking the care they need or putting themselves in danger. 

ᡣ𐭩 . . If you can’t tend to your hair, can’t find your appetite, or just can’t bring yourself to emerge from the confines of the plush bed of your shared room — Sunday will help you care for yourself. While the Head of the Oak Family wouldn’t otherwise find himself doing such things for others, he won’t hesitate to do it for you. 

ᡣ𐭩 . . But as much as he is your lover, that doesn’t mean he isn’t a little twisted. Sunday likes it when you rely on him so in these moments of depression, he’ll find his ego skyrocketing by the way you allow him to help you take care of yourself. 

༝༚༝༚ oneshot under the cut !

   Three days, sixteen system hours and fifteen minutes. 

   That was all the time Sunday needed to realize you were not your usual self. He noticed the despondent gleam in your eyes and the sluggish air that surrounded you as of late. Surely you’d come to him sooner or later.. He didn’t want to scare you with his confrontation and drive you away, you were a fragile thing — You needed patience and loving care. 

   Sunday would bear the weight of the world for you, but even he has limits. 

   As the month passed, your condition only deteriorated which only served to concern him even further. When you left his office after reporting to him, he searched The Family’s archives high and low to learn what he should do to aid you. “-’people who suffer from depression may experience episodes of lethargy, numbness and in severe cases, may even suffer from suicidal ideation. While one cannot cure this condition, depression may be alleviated by understanding company, healthy foods and therapy in severe cases.��..” 

   Should he get you a therapist? Did you need one? Sunday smiled to himself and thought his abilities to be better than any therapist; All you needed was him and he was sure of it. He closed the book promptly and put it back in its place, he’ll have to talk to you later — It was about time that you came to him after dealing with all of that yourself. 

.

.

.

   Later that night, you withdrew to Sunday’s mansion after work. Three years of a relationship with the Head of the Oak family had provided you a warm stay at his residence and you couldn’t be more than grateful — Especially during times like this. Lately, you hadn’t been eating much and you began to get out of bed later than you usually did. The servants only looked at you with concern, but said nothing lest they incur the wrath of Sunday. 

   You sighed upon entering your shared quarters. A moment to breathe and try to collect yourself. The act of going to work and coming back was already a tiring task so you were glad none of the servants asked you anything. You wouldn’t know what to say anyway. 

   The weight on your shoulders felt lessened when you got into your sleeping clothes and crept into the inviting sheets of the king sized bed you slept in. They enveloped you whole and warmed you up after a few moments. You knew what you were going through and after so many years of dealing with it on your own, you’d believed the best remedy was to sleep it off. 

   But Sunday had other plans. 

   When he got home that night, he asked the butler about your whereabouts. After being informed that you had withdrawn to your shared quarters and were asleep, Sunday thanked him and sought you out. He wasn’t sure how he should confront you or let you sleep.. But for now he’d do the latter and address your condition tomorrow. 

   Sunday wasn’t unfamiliar with your current mental state; You were usually like this every few months but it was the first time he had seen it affect you so much. Usually you’d be back to your usual self after about a week or two; This time it had been unusually extended for almost a month. 

   Which is why he was so concerned. 

   When he opened the door, the room inside was dark, as if a black hole had enveloped it whole. The moon outside only served to dimly light the inside of it. As Sunday discarded his work clothes, he was pained upon gazing at your sleeping form. The notable signs of your lethargy were evident by your slow, deep breaths. 

   As he settled in beside you, he adjusted his position so he was spooning you. He was delighted when you turned over to curl into him, a subtle moment of vulnerability he missed seeing in you. He wrapped his arm around you, like a snare encircling its prey. Sunday placed a soft kiss on your forehead before closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep. 

   The rest of the night was quiet and soon after, the morning came. When morning crept up on the both of you, Sunday was the first to get up. Now that there was a little light in the room, he saw the prominent shadows that settled under your eyes. You seemed at peace but tired at the same time. 

   After getting ready for the day, Sunday reached out to cup your cheek to slowly lull you out of your slumber  with his soft touch. He needed you to tell him what was going on, he wouldn’t let it go on any further. After a short while, your lashes fluttered and you awoke with a soft yawn. 

   “You’re here.” You noted as you sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. 

   “Of course I am, dearest. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

   You rested your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes once more, barely awake. “You’re usually at work at this hour.” 

   He smiled a little and lay his head on top of yours. A warmth settled on his heart as he took note of how perceptive you were when it came to him.  “You’re not wrong. But I have more pressing matters to tend to here than at work.” 

   You straightened up and gazed up at him lazily, “Yeah?” 

   He nodded, “Mhm.” 

   “Like what?” 

   He smiled, your curiosity was a thing that never seemed to diminish. “Your state of mind, I’ve noticed you’ve not been well, dearest.” Once you heard his words, you tore your eyes away from his, 

   “Oh.” You played with the fabric of the fluffed up sheets that covered you. “That.” 

   “I’m not going to ask if you’re fine, I know you aren't.” Sunday began, “But I want you to come to me if you’re struggling. I can’t have my lover drowning in their own issues, you know that right?” His voice had a sincere lilt to it. 

   You brought your knees up to your chest and hugged them close, as if to curl up into a ball and hide yourself from the world. Sunday hated seeing you so tired and apathetic, so caged in. 

   Like a dove in a cage. 

   “Dear you know I hate to see you hurting..” He reached out to lift your chin towards him, “Won’t you entrust me with your troubles?” 

   “I’m afraid you can’t fix this one, Sunday..” you muttered quietly. 

   Sunday smiled tenderly, “I’m not trying to fix you, dear. This isn’t something that can be fixed.” You looked up into his eyes, as if you were searching for something in them. Maybe answers.. Maybe comfort. “-But if I can help you feel better, that would be enough for me.” 

   You hadn’t been feeling much in the past few weeks, but for some reason, his words touched your heart. People throughout your life always treated your mental illness like it was a part of you to remain undisclosed, hidden from public view. It was like an interminable mistake; a blot on your person that you could not erase no matter how much you tried to correct it. 

   Sunday noticed the glimmer of emotion in your eyes, it had been a while since he’d last seen you so .. hopeful. While he did like having you rely on him.. He knew this wasn’t good for you. He rubbed your back, “I know you haven’t been eating well, your appetite has been diminishing. But is there anything you’re craving? Even if it’s something small, you should eat, my darling.” 

   You wiped the tears in your eyes that had begun to form. “Uh.. well, ..Can I have something sweet?” Your voice was low, but soft. 

   “My, my.. If you wanted to have me for breakfast you could have just said so, dearest.” He joked. To his satisfaction, you let out a small laugh at his joke. It was the first time in weeks he had seen you smile so genuinely. It wasn’t a fake one, like the one you used at work when greeting your coworkers. “Sweet treats can be arranged. In the meantime, would you like a bath?”

   ‘A bath would seem nice..’ you thought to yourself. But then, you thought about how you’d have to wash every inch of your body, the shampooing and conditioning.. Once you thought about it, it seemed like a chore you didn’t want to get into. And as if he knew exactly what you were thinking, Sunday spoke up once more. “I’m offering, dearest. You’ll just sit back and relax, hm? How about it?” 

   So one nod and a couple minutes later, here you were. 

   The water surrounded your body, the bubbles felt nice around your skin. Sunday was singing what sounded like a lullaby while he gently undid the knots in your hair. Usually, it was a feat to take care of your hair, but Sunday made it feel as if it was no trouble at all. You swore you could fall asleep to the sound of his voice, if he let you. 

   The sweet timbre in his voice came to a stop after he finished the song. “Why did you hold off on telling me about your condition..?” 

   You kept popping the bubbles around you, but at a slower pace. “..I didn’t want to trouble you, I know how busy you can get with the hotel guests and The Family.” 

   Sunday was amused by your thoughtfulness. But it still saddened him, that you rarely trusted him with issues like these. “Dearest, I’ll always make time for you.” Once he finished detangling your hair, he rinsed off the conditioner carefully. Seeing him so focused on you was something you had missed. 

   “I know, I know.. I just didn’t want to bother you with something so trivial..” You honestly thought that it was something you should just deal with on your own. It had worked so well for years, the years before him.. So it should work now, right?

   Sunday moved the stool he sat on to face you. Yellow irises met yours and you think you’ve never seen a man look so ethereal than now. “I know you can handle yourself, but I am your lover. I want to know when you’re feeling distressed, or saddened for the sole fact that, to me, it is anything but trivial. It matters to me.” His words were sincere. You knew it from the way he looked at you when he said them — As if you were the only person in his world. 

   You nodded, but that wasn’t enough for Sunday. “I want you to let me know when you feel like this, okay? I do not want to see you suffering alone. We’ll bear the weight of it together.” 

   A familiar warmth set into your heart upon hearing him. In the many years you’d dealt with your mental condition, you’d never met someone so willing to shoulder the burden that you felt you were, until now. You knew for a fact that Sunday loved you, but hearing it like this and seeing it in his actions was different entirely. 

   Overtaken by your emotions, you sprang out from the tub and wrapped your arms around his neck. The cold air nipped at your skin but you could care less. “I’ll tell you about these things more often, just.. Be patient with me.” 

   Sunday was surprised by your actions at first and he didn’t quite like being wet, but he’d bear it for you. He returned your hug and nodded. 

   “I’ll wait however long it takes.” 

[pedrospookie]

it seems that the eldest daughters of tumblr all want Joel Miller to come and take care of them (dear god, please please please, my soul needs it). this inspired me to start writing a couple of little Joel tales but until then, i thought this might tide us over.

someone (I think it was @itsokbbygrl ) said in the tags that Joel is a fixer and is def into parental issues and i literally cannot stop thinking about that— cause you are RIGHT.

it’s not my best work but alas!

Joel Miller x eldest daughter!reader imagine

nothing wild, mostly fluff! Joel soothing an eldest daughter’s nervous system one day at a time.

Joel would wash the dishes every night just because he knows how much you hate washing the dishes. It’s the least I could do, darlin’ he’d praise, taking immense pride in seeing the relief fall on your face.

Joel would kiss you just to kiss you; in the comfort of your home as you pass in the hallway, or out at the stables while caring for the horses, even at the bar in front of all the folks who know you. It was his small way to show his unconditional love and appreciation for you. He’d spend all day kissin’ you if he could.

Joel would take the time to rub your feet and ask about your day. His genuine curiosity about the townsfolk you encounter or the adventures you have brought a warmth to your chest as he works on the knots along the arch of your feet. He would always remember the little details of where you’ve been or what you’ve seen, or the names of the people you mention in your stories. Joel wasn’t perfect and would often get confused between Jess, Jessica and Jessa, but he certainly would do his best to keep it all straight.

Joel would listen and hear you. If it was important to you, it was important to him. He didn’t care if it was about how you admired the pretty pink colour of the flowers you passed by on patrol or how you had to remember to mend your socks later. He listened and cared. So much so, that whenever he could, Joel would bring home a small bouquet of said flowers for you after his patrol.

On bad days, Joel would be there. He would hold you through your big, ugly feelings, and tell you that it is okay and that he’s got you. Joel would force himself to stay calm and to speak softly to you, keeping his own panic and worry at bay. He would tell you that he was proud of you and your “smarts”, and that the only thing that matters is that you made it back home to him. He would slowly and gently wash your body and hair clean of all the blood and guts from the nearly failed patrol, and would mend every scrape and wound, sealing each one with a kiss.

And on the nights where you were plagued with terrors, the kind that woke you in a panic, the cold sweat glueing your hair to your neck and forehead, Joel would be there. To hold you and coax you back to sleep, rubbing soft circles on your back, and softly murmur that it is okay, that you’re safe.

In the mornings, you always woke to the smell of coffee wafting it’s way into your room. Joel always made sure to wake up before you, to let you have those extra few minutes in bed because he knew you needed them. He’d greet you with a big smile and a kiss, the kind that made you feel like you were back in the early days of your relationship. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, he would say as he placed your meal in front of you. Joel never let you leave the house without something warm in your belly.

Joel knew that you were more than capable of caring for yourself. Hell, you had survived 20 years in that hellscape overrun by infected, raiders and god knows what else. You had told him time and time again, often through gritted teeth, I’ve got this. I can do this myself. I do not need your help. Can you just let me handle this, please!

Slowly, yet surely, with patience and kindness, Joel slowly broke down your walls until you were ready to let him in. To accept the peace and love he had to offer. Joel is not a perfect man, but he tries. Which is more than most. He tries his damnedest every day to keep showing up for you the way he knows you deserve. To show you and make you feel the love, peace and respect that you deserve. And that? Well, that makes Joel feel a deep sense of joy that he hasn’t felt in years. He will gladly do it until his dying breath and that is a promise he will never break. The easiest job he’s ever had was lovin’ you.

tagging some folks who may like this (if not/tags aren’t your thing, just tell me to buzz off! I wont be offended!): @slimybeth69 @itsokbbygrl @mrsmando @evolnoomym @sanarsi @marilovespedro @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Longing (Aemond Targaryen x Servant!Reader)

synopsis: “You are wasting all this time away from what you could have.” He whispers against your lips. “How could I so selfishly take something that will never truly be mine. For if it where it would mean you had lost everything.” You murmur back, finally caving and resting your forehead against his.

warnings: forbidden love, love confessions, afab reader

word count: 1.5k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @legitalicat

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Being a chambermaid employed by the royal family meant that you were closer to them than most low born people could say. It also meant that you were closer to them than most would ever be. You had begun your service as prince Aemond's chambermaid shortly after your four and tenth name day which was more than just a few years past now and, in that time, the initially fearful flutter in your stomach at the Targaryen prince’s presence had changed. Your palms still sweat, and your heart still missed a few beats, your muscles still tensed, and your breath still fell short. Yet the air around you feels different. Instead of suffocatingly thick, it seems charged with energy.

Still, ever aware of where you come from as opposed to his royal background, you push any of it aside and continue your service. All but too happy when you get reassigned to the princess Helaena´s chambers. Unknowing as to what brought on that change, carefully veiled by the Queen who feared her son’s infatuation with you grow, hoping it would keep the prince´s eye away from you. It wouldn´t. Nothing ever could. He had always gotten what he wanted, one way or another.

You felt the burning gaze in your neck whenever he was unoccupied by lessons, training or sleep. Every free second he is given. Though him watching you isn´t quite as hard as when he tries to talk to you.

“Have you ever known the feeling of love?” Aemond asks you in an empty hallway one night.

Gasping at his sudden, silent appearance, you stumble a step back. “A-apologies, your highness?”

“I asked if you have ever been in love.” He repeats.

Unsure if it is better to answer truthfully or not you decide for it. Just as your palms start to sweat and your stomach begins to flutter again.

“I have.” You admit with a burning face.

“How does it feel?” He implores further, taking a step towards you.

“In all truth I do not know how to answer your question.” A nervous huff escapes your lungs. “Because it is not the happy tale I assume you wish to hear.”

Aemond closes further in on you until you feel the cold stone wall of the red keep pressed against your back and his warm breath barely grazing over your face. “Tell me anyway.”

“There is nothing to tell. He is of noble birth, so I had no choice but to ignore my own feelings. Lest a confession endangered my position in the castle.” You try to push down any revealing glimmer in your eyes as he lays a finger underneath your chin to force you to look up at him.

“Have you ever considered his feelings? He might hope and wait for a confession. Your position would not be endangered if he is with you willingly, is it?” The look in the blond´s eye had seldom been witnessed to be as soft as it is in this moment.

You can barely handle the cold guilt that floods your nervous system at the prospect of it. “No, that would be an even worse fate.”

For a moment a heavy silence reigns over the atmosphere in the corridor. You are captured by his intense energy, but you know that your differences drive you too far apart to be together. Not in this life. Collecting all your strength, you free yourself of the spell.

“You will have to apologize me, your highness.” You mumble quickly before running back to your chambers.

Leaving him behind confused and displeased with his own haste having driven you away. Arriving out of breath and agitated, your stomach churns until the moment your eyes close. Yet even in your dreams the thought of Aemond won´t bring you any peace.

For the following tenday or so the two of you go back to the usual routine. You go after your duties day by day while Aemond watches. Secretly planning his next step. Careful not to drive you away any further than he already might have had. If only he knew how high the fire of passion was burning inside of you. Longing, yearning for what he was offering. Only barely contained by your insistent reminders how much there was at stake were he to pursue his feelings for you.

When he approaches you again, you are in the same corridor. Just about to prepare a bath for the princess. His steps silent as always, sending a cold shiver down your back as he calls out your name.

“You will never love anyone like that ever again. You will be like an empty vessel waiting to be filled, yet never being able to find what you are truly searching for…” He murmurs intimately.

Coming to a stand mere inches in front of you, leaning his head down to regard you with an all but reverential look from that dark, lilac eye. His hands find yours to interlock your fingers. Keeping you from running so fast again. He had thought long about how to talk to you without it, but now that he stood before you the words just broke out of him. Making your breath shudder as you take in the words. Struggling to cope with the intensity of the situation.

 “I am willing to sacrifice that, if only it means to spare him from the fate he would suffer if he chose me.” You croak.

It is wrong to be so close to him, but by the seven it feels so right. He was so unapologetic and unwavering in his pursuit, and it felt good to be wanted. Even if your body couldn´t help but be on high alert. His eye searches into your own. Longing, aching for your love.

The usually brooding facial features, consumed by the agonizing need to have you. “You cannot spare him from fate. On the contrary. You are hurting him more by not embracing your love.”

Aemond´s hands cup your cheeks, gently. You watch him come closer inch by inch, frozen in place. When his lips lay on yours in a tender kiss, you don't dare to close your eyes. The chances of being caught still ever present in your brain. Still your hands grip the leather of his doublet impossibly tight. The touch only lasts a moment, and his eyes remain closed as he hums afterwards.

“You are wasting all this time away from what you could have.” He whispers against your lips.

“How could I so selfishly take something that will never truly be mine. For if it where it would mean you had lost everything.” You murmur back, finally caving and resting your forehead against his.

“For as long as there is breath in my lungs, I swear to you that no matter who I am wed to my heart will be yours to hold only. I will worship every inch of you in the shadows of the castle and the dark of night.” He promises.

“But what are stolen moments and hidden alcoves if they do not save you from the danger of the affair. If you will never be able to not worry about the prying eyes and judgemental tongues of the court.” You argue back. Yet the intention of stopping the arising longing is far failed.

Your heart clenches with the wish to have the prince as freely as his future wife could.

“It will be whatever we wish. Our own little world.” He rasps and something inside of you breaks.

The strength you had shown all this time to stay away from him is eradicated by the sweet nothings.

“It sounds so simple.” You concede in a doleful tone.

“It can be. If you let it.” Aemond murmurs, one of his hands wandering into your hair. “I beg of you. Do not refuse what we could have anymore.”

“I will not.” You whisper.

The blond closes the infinitesimal gap between your lips anew. This time your eyes flutter close. Trusting him to be safe in your privacy. The hand still on your cheek, cradles your face as the other presses up ever so gently against the back of your head. Guiding you into the affectionate touch. His lips capture yours. Hungry for anything yours are willing to give and expressing every ounce of emotion that had been repressed for years. His tall frame presses against you, your arms snaking around his middle to splay your fingers over the cool leather covering his back. Your heart skips like never before. Your lips linger for a moment longer before you part. It could have been an eternity or just a blink of an eye and your eyes flutter open hesitantly. The air around the two of you buzzes, the energy the only sound in your ears beside your blood rushing with adrenaline.

“I love you.” You whisper. Scared to wake up and have it all be a dream if you speak any louder.

“I´m yours. Forever.” Aemond murmurs back.

[anotherblinder]

Not Your Fault

Summary || Thomas finds her alone in the rain Word count || 689 Pairing || Thomas Shelby x Reader Warnings || Angst, loss of friendship Notes || It's been a long time since I posted. Over a year,things have just been up and down. This fic is pure self indulgent, i apologize for that. Lately things have been rough with me considering my bff. I'm coming to terms to most likely loosing this friendship because I'm tired of feeling like a second thought and only contacted when they need something or to talk about their daughter. I'm sure I'm not alone in this situation but it doesn't hurt any less. Everything in here is true to what I've been experiencing for years with this friend. I was hesitant to post it but I don't see why not as they have no idea i have this blog. I'll talk to them again at some point but rn I'm just tired. I hope you enjoy this fic if you decide to read it. probably ooc so be fair warned. -Jay

Regret, that’s what she felt. It only grew with every step she took. Droplets of water dripped from her hair and face as she walked on. The rain coming down in buckets. Only picking up as she continued to walk home. How could she be so stupid? This always happened, how naïve could she have been. Her best friend, so maybe so she thought, once again pulling away for a boyfriend. It was unconsciously of course, but regardless, it still hurt. As it always happened when they got in a relationship. After a breakup they’d come crawling back, spending time, talking, like nothing ever happened. It would be good, felt like they were friends again, only for the cycle to happen again when they got a new boyfriend. Only hearing from her friend when she needed something or to talk about her young daughter.  

The woman had talked to her friend about this and how she felt. She swore she’d do better but, like she thought, they grew distant again. Feeling like a second thought and only a friend of convince once again. The friend she’d knew since they were five. Always doing everything for them but feeling as though they get nothing in return. It stung, it hurt and burned. Longing for that friendship they never seemed to have in the first place. All of it sinking in as she walked home from her friend's house that night. Feeling numb and hollow at how long it’s taken her to realize it. 

She gasped as she left a hand grab her bicep. Too lost in her own thoughts to hear the steps and voice of the person calling out to them. Instinct taking over, her other hand swinging around to hit the person who had grabbed her. But they were prepared for it, catching her wrist and pulling it to their chest to prevent her from hitting them. Calling her name as she struggled. 

“Stop! It’s me Tommy!” Thomas yelled over the rain 

“Tommy?” She questioned 

The panic leaving her system to see it was Thomas Shelby. Letting out a big sigh as the tension left her. Thomas let her go as she stopped struggling. Gently he placed his hands on her arms as he looked at her in concern.  

“What are you doing out here? You’re fucking freezing.” 

It was a valid question, one that made her jump back to reality. Feeling the cold that soaked into her skin, the sound of the heavy rain all around her. The way her soaked clothing clung to her skin. How she had forgotten her coat earlier that evening. Even with all that, there was only one thought on her mind. One she voiced as she watched Thomas struggle to get his coat off.  

“Am I a bad friend, Tommy?”  

He froze at her sudden question. It was laughable to him, if he didn’t realize she was serious. Finally taking a good look at her to see her puffy eyes and red nose, not caused by the rain. With a soft sigh he was finally able to get his coat off and wrap it around her shoulders. Taking time to fix it in the front so she stayed warm and cupped her cheeks. 

“No. You are the best friend anyone could ask for.” 

“Then why does my best friend prioritize her boyfriend more than me? I’m nothing but a second thought to them it feels. Even after I've voiced my feelings about this to them. Nothing changed.” 

“Because they don’t know what they’re fucking missing. If this isn’t the first time, then nothing will change. That’s when you say fuck’em and move on.” 

“And if it’s too hard?” She asked with tears in her eyes 

“It will be hard, but you shouldn’t try to fix something that remains broken. It’s not your fault, it’s theirs for not trying. The pain will heal over time with the right people by your side. It's better to let go than struggle on.” 

Thomas grabbed her hand and lead her away to a warmer place. Making sure to mend her broken heart along the way. 

[denizenhardwick]

detailed analysis of trk ch 11, pt 2. here is pt 1.

tw rape, child sexual abuse, self-harm

the audiobook narrator's delivery in this scene is phenomenal btw. i have the way he says "oh, oh, that's unpleasant, i am not a fan of this at all" burned into my brain forever now. that's the line that had the biggest impact on me, and i just had to turn off the audiobook and stare ahead for a good couple minutes.

his reaction - or, specifically, lack thereof - is very telling. some of it can be attributed to his medication, but not all of it. this is an awful situation and it's going to change his relationship with everyone here forever, and he might be overcorrecting in an effort to seem unbreakable and apathetic. but he does care. he's trembling.

he has also experienced so much sexual abuse in his life that this isn't nearly as shocking for him as it is for everyone else here.

and then there's this.

"andrew, who'd barely acknowledged aaron's existence in the entire time neil had known them, immediately looked to his brother."

that's such a powerful line. and then he gestures aaron over but tries to get away when he comes too close because he needs to make sure aaron's okay but can't stand to be touched.

he incessantly shuts down all of aaron's attempts to focus on him to repeatedly ask if aaron's okay. to make sure nothing happened to aaron. he's even willing to hurt him a little to get an answer, because making sure he's okay is the most important thing to andrew.

it's a microcosm of their relationship.

we are also not getting any of neil's thoughts at this point. he has shut down, he's just holding up the blanket and describing what's happening, presumably while just staring at andrew in horror.

the contrast between andrew's actions and the obvious pain he's in, and his dialogue being essentially no different than how he usually speaks, is really something.

not to spoil the point i'm building towards, but he is struggling so goddamn hard to keep being the protector through what has to be one of the worst moments of his life. he obviously never wanted anyone to know about this. he doesn't want them to know, he doesn't want them to think about it or ask him about it or talk about it, but they can't help reacting because they care about him and what they witnessed isn't something they can gloss over and move on from, especially not this quickly.

kevin comes back with everyone else, and neil's hypervigilance snaps him back to attention, we start getting his thoughts again.

nicky ignores neil's warning and moves to touch andrew, which he again tries to avoid. and these moments are such phenomenal pieces of relationship building, they say so much about andrew's relationships on a broader scale.

aaron is extremely important to andrew, and he does want him close, but on his own terms. if aaron tries to reach out, he'll move out of the way.

nicky cares about andrew but can't read the room and is bad with boundaries, especially physical ones. he's way too hands-on for andrew to be comfortable.

kevin isn't trying to get close at all, he's running to get help and staying by the door.

meanwhile, for almost this entire scene, neil has been extremely close to andrew, almost touching him. sometimes actually just touching him. andrew has not acknowledged it in any way, but neil is sitting on the bed next to him holding the sheet up to his shoulders. and andrew is completely fine with it. this is an absolutely mind-blowing degree of trust that he's displaying here and it just isn't mentioned at all.

then andrew sees luther and he puts on a show for him. he acts surprised to see him and then delighted, but he still has a death grip on aaron's hair and neil sees that as a tell.

then it all clicks into place.

i got so mad when i read this. blood-boilingly, blindingly angry. because this is just so grounded in reality, this is how abuse is ignored and allowed to perpetuate in the foster system, and "you're just misunderstanding normal brotherly affection" is a common sentiment told to children when they try to tell an adult about the sexual abuse they're experiencing but don't have the vocabulary to explain what's happening.

maybe it's just me, but andrew's story has such a big impact because it takes a book series about mafia kids playing sports and grinds it to a screeching halt in a way that forces you think about child abuse happening to real kids in the real world. it's jarring and it's mundane, and it's the hardest-hitting part of the entire series because of it.

this also reframes andrew's entire character as we realize what he's trying to do, what he's always been trying to do.

andrew is not an aggressor. he's a protector. and he cares so, so much.

he has been failed over and over again. he did what he was "supposed" to do in that situation, he told an adult. and the adult didn't believe him, but he tried to make sure cass wouldn't take in any more kids after him so drake wouldn't have the opportunity to abuse them the way he abused andrew.

cass took in six more kids. luther didn't do anything, and then he brought drake back into andrew's life and put aaron and nicky in danger, too.

is it any wonder andrew thinks violence is the only way to protect the people he cares about? it's the only thing that's worked.

and then andrew takes off his armbands for the first time and reveals cutting scars, which is a gut punch in and of itself. again: mundanity, vulnerability, a redefining of what violence means in andrew's character.

when he says, "pigs don't like it when people like me carry weapons," it means something totally different than it would have at the beginning of the chapter. you get it now, and so does neil, which is why he hides them so carefully.

andrew will not use those knives to defend himself. we know that now, we've seen it; he fought back, but he didn't take his knives out. he uses those knives to scare people out of hurting others. having those knives makes him powerful because it makes people scared of him, and he leverages that to protect people. and because he's also seen as violent and erratic, he's able to do it without tipping his hand, revealing his weaknesses, showing how much he cares.

and he cares so, so goddamn much.

and that's all she wrote.

i think i have sufficiently justified why this chapter is fucking incredible and how goddamn effective the writing is on a technical and thematic level. it rocks your shit, it turns a lot of the series on its head, and entirely recontextualizes andrew so meaningfully and efficiently. his character has so much to say, and it did need a book and a half of incorrect foundation to say it effectively. he doesn't work if you're allowed to see him as a full, complex person from the start, you need to absorb the weight of how others think of him before you can deconstruct it, and the next book and a half works through that deconstruction. it's really cool and it's brilliant character writing.

[midnight-mourning]

Snowy Snuggles

❄️❄️Midnight's DCA December Day 19❄️❄️

ahem, i saw the phrase cuddles and kisses and went ham, I would apologize but I think we all know that you people are going to eat it up, so enjoy!

Prompt: sun/moon’s systems freezing up because of the cold so reader decides ah… cuddles and kisses to the boyfriend(s) to warm them… sun and moon try to make it as unobvious as they can that theyre warmed up because they love love love reader’s cuddles but they are steeeadily starting to overheat because ohhh they love reader so much

Word Count: 1234

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

You bend down and light the last candle, snuffing out the match a moment later and discarding it. The entire room is enveloped in a soft, warm light with the amount of candles you have in here. They're pretty, but they provide no heat. That, was something you were going to have to figure out yourself. 

There's an old wood stove still set up in the basement, but you only have a little bit of wood for it currently, you'd need to go out back tomorrow and chop some. For now, you'd just have to hope the house won't get too cold on you. 

It wasn't you that you were worried about, and this power outage wouldn't have been a big deal, if you and the boys hadn't just spent all day out in the snow, and had come inside expecting to warm up significantly. 

You spare them a glance, the light's just enough for Sun to be out, as he huddles under the pile of blankets you'd provided. Your heart twists with concern as you see him tremble. You're sure they'll be okay, it's just, not a great situation currently. 

"Hey." You softly call out. "Doing alright over there?"

Sun perks up, looking over to you. Tone more cheery than you think he actually is. "Of course, Sunshine! We're okay, I promise."

"You don't look okay to me." You walk over, cupping your hands around his faceplate. "This is all my fault, if I'd noticed the outage sooner I could have planned better. I'm so sorry."

Sun's rays flutter, not having the energy for his usual spinning. "Don't say that! We insisted on staying outside so long. It was a complete and total fluke that the power went out. Nothing you should be blaming yourself for, alright?" His hand reaches up for your wrist, leaning into your touch. 

"Okay,"—you sigh, then giggle as he kisses your wrist, you take a step back—"I'm gonna go grab my dinner, and then I'll be back."

Sun nods, and lets you go. 

You give him once last look, and hurry off into the kitchen. By the light of your phone's flashlight, you make yourself a sandwich or two, and pour a cup of cold coco. You check to see if there's any updates on when the electricity will be back, but you still have no signal. 

Deciding that that's not good enough, you search the cupboards and find your old storm radio, along with your regular one, and bring them and your food back with you from the kitchen. 

When you get back, you don't miss how Sun scrambles back from holding his hands over the candles on the coffee table. He feigns innocence, sinking back into the blanket as your frown deepens. There's got to be something you can do to help, and you have an idea in mind. 

You set everything down on the end table, turning on both radios. The storm radio doesn't have any updates, but the other softly plays holiday music, bringing some life to the living room. Then, you turn your focus to Sun, hands clasped. 

"Yes, Starshine?" He asks, a little on edge at the look on your face.

You wave your hand. "Open up that blanket, that's my spot."

It takes him a moment, then it clicks. "O-oh! Of course." He opens the blanket, and his arms. 

You all but hop into his lap, snuggling close as you wrap your arms around his neck. Then, you pull back and kiss him once, grinning. "Thought I'd provide the best heat I could think of. If that's alright?"

Sun's stare is blank, unmoving. Then, his rays spin rapidly and he nods several times. It makes you laugh as you reach over for your sandwich, snuggling further into his lap as he brings the blanket back around the two of you. 

"Sorry in advance for any crumbs, but after getting pelted with snowballs all day I'm kind of hungry." You take a bite, reveling in it for a second. For a cold sandwich, this slapped.

Sun chuckles, arms coming to rest around you. "I suppose just this once it's alright, special circumstances and all that."

"Good, because I wasn't asking." You snicker as he huffs. 

After finishing your sandwich, you get even cozier, entwining your fingers with Sun's and snuggling your head against his neck. 

Bored, and also feeling cheeky, you place a kiss to his neck, followed by another, and another. 

He stiffens and you grin to yourself, continuing with a squeeze to his hand. Eventually the position starts to ache, so you decide to turn around so you're straddling him. When you do so, you make eye contact and smirk. 

"Hi." You say. 

"Hi."

You interlock both your hands with his, leaning back in so that you're only inches apart. "Mind if I get back to work?"

"Wo-work?" Sun asks. 

You giggle. "Mmmhmm. I've got nothing better to do than sleep, and to be honest, I'm not really in the mood for that." You kiss the edge of his smile. "So, want to help me with that?"

Sun's hands squeeze yours, tight. For a moment, you swear you hear a low humming sound, but it's hard to tell with all the blankets and the radio. 

"Very much so, yes."

You grin again, closing the remaining small gap between the two of you. "Let's get to it then."

After, a plethora of kisses is exchanged between the two of you, and you think Sun has melted into the couch, you decide it's Moon's turn. 

"You ruined him, you know." Moon snickers, forehead against yours. "He's comatose in here."

You chuckle. "That was the intention."

"I hope you don't think it's going to work twice, Star."

Your hands wrap around his neck, fingers slinking between the wires there. When he shudders you pull one back, using it to grip his chin while you pout. "Are you sure? I'm gonna be real sad if it doesn't."

"Brat." Moon mutters, but with how he's avoiding eye contact you'd say you've already won. 

You lean in to kiss him only to hesitate, when he puts his hand up between you. 

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't—" He takes your head, and places it against his chest. 

Now closer, you can hear the noise from earlier, which you now understand was their internal fans. And it clicks what's happened. 

Your face starts to burn. "I see."

"We tried to hide it." Moon coughs. "But now it's becoming a problem."

You pause, then shift back to gape at him. "You're overheating? Are kidding me?"

Moon ducks his head and you can't help the astonished laugh you let out. Then, you hug him, shaking your head in disbelief. 

"Guess we don't have worry about freezing up after all, huh?"

"Don't start." He warns, but it's half-hearted, weak. 

You laugh again. "Okay, okay. No kissing for a bit then."

Quiet. 

"I can always go back out in the snow for a few minutes if you want..."

You scoff, baffled. "If I want? Excuse me, I think tha—"

Moon interrupts you by pulling you further into him, muttering something you can barely make out. 

And if you weren't so incredibly offended, you might have taken him up on that offer.

Emphasis on might. You are pretty cozy right now, regardless of being able to kiss them or not.

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Thank you for the request @vypridae!! I very much enjoyed writing more cuddly kissy fluffy things, and flustering the boys that too :)

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[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 16

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

You're getting everything in line to return to work and facing the fact that your feelings for Jay hasn't faded as you've healed. They've gotten stronger. Have you fallen for him while you still love Mouse?

Once Jay’s vacation time was up you found yourself yet again having to find a new normal. It was so weird not going to work because you’d literally worked until the day your water broke. You and him ended up deciding that you would start slowly getting Addy used to his place as well as yours, a couple nights a week. You had also taken to using his place for naps if you were closer to there than yours when that time hit if you were out and about. It was a way for her to get used to both cribs and environments, even though a part of you screamed “THIS IS A BAD IDEA” when he’d given you a key to his apartment and you’d given him a key to yours.

It was a precaution for Addy, that was all. You would never intrude on his privacy nor him yours. So maybe you’d dozed off in his bed a time or two after hitting the gym heavy? It wasn’t like he cared. Heck the time he’d come home to find you curled up in the middle of his bed he hadn’t even bothered waking you up, you ended up realizing he’d got off early about an hour later when you woke up and walked out into the living room to find him laid across the couch with Addy on his chest. That hadn’t made your heart flip in your chest at seeing him content at just laying with her after a work day, nor did your heart skip a beat when he noticed your presence and smiled before saying “Look baby girl, mommy’s up”

You were back with Dr Charles once a week just to try to regulate your emotions and it seemed to be helping. Postpartum was staying in check. You were eating like you were supposed to and keeping hydrated and working out again. You and Addy were bonded and you had a damn good support system, all in all you couldn’t have had your pregnancy go better. You placed a large amount of that on Jay. He’d been your cornerstone in everything, from the moment you placed those hospital papers in his hands. 

He could’ve walked away. He could’ve fallen back and simply been there for doctors appointments and the delivery. He could’ve just been the position of Adeline’s father but no he’d been everything to you during the pregnancy. He was your protector, your friend, your shadow every step of the way. If you looked too hard at how you truly felt about him you were afraid your entire world may come crashing down on top of you because the fact was that the feelings you had for him were slowly becoming obvious that they were more than just him being Addy’s father.

You couldn’t look too hard at how your heart was functioning because how the hell were you supposed to trust an organ that thudded wildly in your chest when it heard Mouse’s voice only to have the same reaction when Jay would brush an innocent kiss against your temple? You knew what love was, knew how it felt, knew how to recognize it but what the hell was your body doing to you?

“Thanks for watching her for a couple hours, Stel. I just gotta get my recert” you were zeroing in fast on your six week mark so you were lining up appointments to get everything done. Today was the firing range to get recertified, at least this year you weren’t shooting next to Jay.You were a damn good shot but next to him? You always looked bad.

She smiled as she took Addy out of her carrier “Are you kidding me? I get to hang out with my best friend all day! Isn’t that right baby girl? You’re Aunt Stella’s best friend” Addy cooed at her lightly and you laughed “Guess she agrees. I’ve got to get my physical done, along with my six week check up in a couple days and she has to go the pediatrician”

Stella nodded then cut her eyes up at you “I love her with my entire heart but you’re getting an IUD aren’t you?” You laughed lightly “You bet your ass I am. I don’t want another incident happening any time soon” she grinned, holding Addy to her chest “Although if it was Jay’s at least we know he’s all in” 

You narrowed your eyes at her and she shrugged “I’m just making an observation. How are things going anyways? Kelly isn’t here. Just us and I don’t think Addy is to the point of gossiping yet”  You ran your hand over Addy’s hair and shook your head “I’ve gotta get going. I can’t go to my recert test with a headache and getting into that right now may cause that” she laughed and shook her head “Ok, I’ll let it go…for now” 

You smiled “Thank you” and kissed her cheek “I love you” then kissed Addy’s forehead “And I love you” you glanced at the clock “I’ll be back by three” Stella nodded “Take your time. I have no plans” 

Sometimes you hated working for Voight simply because so many people held a damn beef for the man that was one sided. They hated him and he’d have to make some phone calls just to find out who the hell they were. The guy doing the recert was one of those. He was busting your balls at every damn turn once he found out you were one of Hank’s detectives.

When you’d finished the tenth target with nearly perfect marks and he set up for more you felt like you may very well shoot him. “Sir, what exactly is the issue? You’ve let three men recert that got less than half the marks I have” you asked, not caring because he’d pushed you too far. He raised his eyebrows “Can’t finish princess?” and you felt your blood boil  “Set them up”

While he prepped the targets you sent Jay a text Lukas Paulson, recert instructor. Busting my absolute balls. Paulson wasn’t done setting up targets when his phone started ringing. You watched, trying to bite back a smirk “Yes sir...yes sir..yes sir..”

He hung up and glared at you “Congratulations Detective Kidd. You’re recertified” he signed off on the tablet in front of him and emailed you a copy. You smiled “Thank you” just as you turned to walk out your phone chimed so you checked it as you got to your jeep Taken care of

You truly had just intended to vent or see if Voight knew him but Jay had done one better. He’d gotten either Voight or someone else to back him down. You glanced down when you got in your jeep. That same old polaroid still had its place along with the ultrasound Of Addy and one of her newborn photos. Yeah it was normal to have Mouse’s photo on your dash and your first reaction at something going on was to let Jay know. Totally normal reaction…yeah right.  You shook your head and sent back Thank you before bucking up and pulling out onto the road.

Jay smiled when the text from you came in. According to Voight, Paulson was still sore that once upon a time his son had set his sights on Intelligence. He hadn’t liked it when he was shut down and he really hadn’t liked it when he learned there were three females in the unit. You getting him for a recert was a bad luck of the draw and Voight was more than happy to remind him that it wouldn’t take but a phone call to have his son down to a mall cop if he was lucky.

Why he’d thought messing with one of the unit was a good idea was beyond Jay. Why he thought messing with you in particular was just idiotic. Kevin tossed a piece of balled up paper at his head to get his attention “When am I getting my partner back man?” he looked up at him and held up the phone “recert was today, six week check up and physical is in three days. All goes like it should her first day back will be monday of next week”

“When is she gonna bring Addy by? I haven’t seen her in like a week?” Kim asked and he laughed “I don’t know. She doesn’t want to bring her here because she knows it would disrupt any work getting done” Hailey slid back from her desk to look over at him “Bet I could get her to bring Addy to see me” he narrowed his eyes “Stay away her Upton, I swear..”

Adam cracked up laughing “Aww Halstead’s jealous. It’s adorable” Jay shook his head “I am not jealous. Hailey just keeps trying to marry the mother of my child and it’s getting a little weird” Hailey laughed “So this means you won’t give me away or?” and grinned when he glared at her. He knew it was in good humor but he was honestly starting to get a little jealous. You weren’t his, not really but dammit you were his something. 

When he looked at you, he felt something that he didn’t think could be explained away by the fact that you gave birth to his child. You were always his friend, his partner. Being there when you found out you were pregnant was as simple of a decision as breathing. Throughout the pregnancy there wasn’t a moment he didn’t find himself craving to be at your side. He’d never slept better than with you in his arms, feeling Addy kick. The innocent touches you’d allowed and chaste kisses to the temple or cheek drove his heart up the wall. Holding you in his arms while you brought the child the two of you made into the world? He didn’t have the words to describe how that felt. He just hoped Stella didn’t confront him again because when she asked before he hadn’t had a firm answer in his head but he did now and he wasn’t ready to look at it, ready to face it.

Another text came through and this one was a photo of Addy wearing a fireman onesie Help! Stella is tryin to convert our baby!! He felt a smile tug to his face and texted back Is this a bad time to mention Will got her pjs that look like scrubs? And you just sent back a face palm emoji. 

Hailey popped up over his shoulder “Is that my wife texting? It’s gotta be for you to be smiling like that” he shook his head and nudged her off his shoulder “My track record with partners is just getting weird at this point”  and looked back at his phone as another text came through, this one was from Stella and obvious that you hadn’t known she’d snapped the photo. You were turned sideways on her couch with your feet curled up under you and Addy on your chest. Your entire attention was on her and the smile on your face made his heart skip.  He saved both the solo photo of Addy and the one of you and her to his phone. 

He had about a dozen photos of you from different points in your pregnancy that he kept. Some you were at work, handling business as usual but others you were simply lounging around your apartment in a camisole and boxers that didn’t hide your baby belly one bit. He especially loved those because he knew for a fact only him and Stella got to see that. There was even a couple from the baby shower that Stella had snapped of you and him, citing that Addy needed to see how good of a relationship her parents had while she was “cooking”, his favorite one? You weren’t even looking at him in the photo, you were deep in conversation with Adam and Kevin but you were leaned back against him with your hands on your stomach and looked so at ease as if you trusted him to protect you from anything. 

Voight walking to his office door broke Jay out of his thoughts to give his sergeant his attention “Listen up, We got a call to respond to a fire on the south side. Fifty one went in and found a body. Gear up, we roll in five” 

When Stella told you about the fire fifty one responded to you texted Jay to check on the unit, knowing that case would get kicked their way. You managed to get back to your apartment and Addy unbundled before he texted back to let you know everyone was ok and to ask if he could stop by after work. You reminded him he had a key if you happened to already be asleep by the time he got off then set about the rest of your day.

____________________

You were sitting on the couch with Addy on your chest, reading your emails. There were a few from the district, mainly just checklists reminding you everything needed before you could come off maternity leave. There was one from the pediatrician reminding you of Addy’s appointment and one from Dr Asher’s office reminding you of your own. After you responded and confirmed everything you needed to, a new email came through and you froze with your thumb over the envelope when you saw Mouse’s name. 

Addy started to squirm so you stood up and put her in her swing to give her time off of you. She’d worn herself out during tummy time so she wasn’t up for much but you were trying to keep her up long enough Jay could see her because he’d texted you saying he only had thirty minutes top and that was twenty minutes ago.

____________

You sat on the floor in front of her swing and clicked on the email. You were a lot of things but a coward wasn’t one of them. How’s the prettiest mom in Chicago? I spoke to Jay last week, he said you’re amazing with her. I’m not surprised. You sound happy when we talk, especially when I can hear her and I couldn’t ask for more than that. I hope I can meet her too when I get back in Chicago before heading to Georgia, if it’s ok with you and Jay. I just wanted to check in with you. I’ll try to call you next week or so. Love Always, Gerwitz

You read the message twice over, a smile slipping onto your face. Of course he could meet Addy while he was in town. Hell if he planned on seeing you and Jay it was unavoidable but the fact that he made a point of letting you know he wanted to meet her meant something to you. You emailed back Don’t know about the prettiest mom but I’ll take it. I’m doing good. I go back to work soon. Jay just swears I’m amazing because I can change her diaper and make a bottle at the same time. She makes me happy, so much has gone wrong but she is everything good. Of course you can meet her. Thank you for checking in. Look forward to talking to you. Love Always, Kidd

The moment you hit send you heard a knock at the door and checked the time. Hopefully that was Jay because Addy had just yawned again. You laid your phone on the couch then stood and walked across the room, pushing her carrier out of the way with your food before unlocking the door. Jay stood on the other side and honestly looked exhausted “That bad?” you asked and he wiped a hand down his face “Be glad you’re not back yet. Where’s our baby girl? Please tell me she’s not asleep yet?”

You stepped back to let him in and motioned towards her swing “Nope, she’s holding on to be able to see her daddy” he grinned proudly, the tiredness peeling back at hearing Addy was still awake “Of course she is” you shook your head and closed the door, watching as he walked over to her swing and hit the button to turn it off before getting her out of it.

He pulled her into his arms and the moment she was against his chest you saw the muscles in his shoulders loosen. “Hey sweetheart, I missed you” he whispered against her head before sitting down on the couch. You didn’t want to move from your spot, standing right by the door because the picture of father and daughter was too perfect to disturb but Jay raised his voice to normal speaking level to tell Addy “Your mommy needs to come sit down too, I want to check on both of my girls before I head home tonight”

He glanced over his shoulder at you and you smiled “Ok, I get the point” you pushed off from the door and walked around the other end of the couch to sit next to Jay, leaving a half of a cushion between the two of you, He leaned back with her then turned his eyes towards you “Now what did  Paulson say to you?” you knew that look in his eyes. He wanted to have a little talk with him. You shook your head “Nothing that matters, he changed his tune quick after that phone call” he grinned “Probably so considering Voight told him if he screwed with anyone out of his unit again he’d make sure that son of his would have trouble finding work as a mall cop” 

“Wow, you got our sergeant calling to threaten people for me? Maybe Dr Asher was right, every woman needs the father of her child to be like you” you laughed and he smiled “Just doing my job here sweetheart. Besides you know how Voight is, he’s the only one who can bust our asses” “That is true” you laughed and Jay resituated on the couch so he was turned towards you and could have Addy on his chest and offer you a place on his chest to lay as well.

You turned to lay against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat under your ear. “Mouse wants to meet Addy” you refused to keep anything like that from him. He nodded, chin brushing your head “I know, he mentioned it last week” one of your hands came up to his chest and he simply cut his eyes at you when you pulled the chain of his pendant free to run it through your fingers “You do know most people fidget with their own jewelry as a nervous habit?” 

You shrugged “I can’t lay on you and play with my ring unless you want me to sit up” “Continue playing with the chain” he whispered, Addy nuzzling into his chest as he spoke. “She still loves your voice” you pointed out and he grinned at you “You must like my voice well enough too, you asked me to keep talking to you while you were in labor” 

You ducked your head slightly, why you were embarrassed at that considering was beyond you. “Your voice kind of has a soothing effect Jay” His grin softened and his hand ran up your back, rubbing gentle circles “Good” 

What the hell was wrong with you? You were just emailing Mouse, telling him you loved him and was looking forward to seeing him and now you were cuddling with Jay. The change in mood must have shown because Jay’s face fell slightly before he nodded towards Addy “Let’s get her to her crib”

____________

Once Addy was laid in her crib and sleeping steadily you grabbed the baby monitor out of your room and walked back into the living room, even though her door was open you wanted to make sure you heard her. 

Jay was leaning on the kitchen counter, drinking a bottle of water when you walked out. He sat the bottle down then held his hand out towards you so you walked closer to him, letting him pull you into a hug “You’re overthinking again” he guessed and you cut your eyes up at him “That’s rude to read minds Halstead”

He laughed lightly “I can’t read minds but you? You I can read. What happened?” you shook your head “Talking about Mouse” “While being comfortable with me?” he guessed and you nodded. 

He sighed slightly, rubbing your lower back “It’s ok to be comfortable with me. I’m not gonna hurt you and if you decide to get back with him I’m not going to change how I act towards you. I will still be right here as much as you need me. You and Addy are my girls” you lowered your face to his shoulder, trying to ignore the feelings those words made flare to life in you. His girls. You liked being his girls. You were in love with Mouse but loved being Jay’s girl. You weren’t the woman you thought you were. 

“Hey, talk to me here” he spoke softly and you laughed, leaning back to look up at him “You’re such an amazing man Jay. My god I know Erin had gone through hell but I have no clue how she walked away from you” his eyes widened but the smile he gave you was so soft you’d only previously seen it pointed at Addy “Well if she hadn’t walked away from me and Mouse hadn’t left you we wouldn’t have Adeline so I say any heartache was worth it”

His eyes flickered from yours down to your lips and you found your eyes doing the same. You remembered how his lips felt against you, his hands on your body teasing and light then heavier, nearly bruising from his strength but holding back just enough to make sure he didn’t hurt you. The way his mouth had mapped out every scar on your body, every birthmark he’d never seen and every inch that made you gasp and squirm under him. 

He broke away first and cleared his throat “I um..I need to get home. I’ll come by before work?” you nodded a little too quickly, stepping out of his arms “Yeah, that’s fine” he smiled “Night Y/N” “Night Jay” he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple before heading to the door “I’ll text you when I get home” “Ok” you barely managed to get the words out but you did.

Once the door closed behind him you walked over to secure the locks and realized your hands were shaking. What the hell had just nearly happened?

“It’s been three days and he hasn’t mentioned it?” Stella asked and you shook your head. “Maybe I just imagined it? I mean I was in my head at the moment” you shrugged, looking over at Addy who was fast asleep in her bassinet. Stella had come over before her shift started and before you had to go to yours and Addy’s appointments.

She raised an eyebrow “I doubt that. Jay Halstead looks at you like you hung the freakin moon. Yeah most of that could be that you gave him his daughter but I think it’s more than that” You froze with your coffee mug halfway to your lips “What?” her eyes widened “Nothing. I said nothing.I’m only here as your big sister and little miss Adeline’s aunt”

“Stella Kidd-Severide. You tell me right now” you urged and she shrugged “I have seen men fall for you! Jay’s best friend included. It’s easy to see and I don’t think I’m imagining it. I’m not speaking on Jay’s feelings or lack thereof but I will say this, if you keep beating yourself up for this it’s apparent there’s something there. I don’t know what’s in your heart. I don’t care who you’re with as long as Addy is taken care of and you’re happy you could have a harem” “STELLA!” you laughed, looking to make sure you hadn’t woken up Addy.

She laughed then shrugged “I mean it. I don’t care, you’re my sister.I will defend you to anyone but I can’t protect you from beating yourself up. If you still love Mouse that’s ok. If you’ve fallen in love with Jay, that’s ok too. Falling back into that hole? That’s not ok” Hearing the words out loud, even her speaking them made your heart try to escape from your chest. A small smile slipped onto your face at her protective tone “You would really fight anyone for me wouldn’t you?” she laughed “Heck yeah and I got a husband who would be right there with me and I know Kevin Atwater is ready to ride when it comes to you”

She pulled you into a hug then checked her watch “Crap, we both gotta get a move on!” you looked at the time and grimaced “Shoot, we really do. At least all my appointments are in the same place” she nodded “That helps”

Your goal was to sneak into the twenty first, drop your all clear off with Trudy then sneak out. Easy, right? Yeah right. Cops were worse than old women when it came to keeping a secret.

You parked your jeep in front so intelligence would hopefully not spot it. You unhooked her carrier from the base and tucked your all clear paperwork in your hip pocket before heading up the stairs that led inside. You smiled at a patrolman that held the door for you “Thanks” he nodded “Nice to see Detective Kidd”

__________

You walked inside and the moment you crossed the threshold you heard Trudy “Is that the cutest baby in all of Chicago gracing my house?” you smiled as you walked up the stairs, holding a finger to your lips. You cut your eyes at the stairs “I’m trying to sneak here Trutru”

She nodded and motioned for you to come around her desk. You sat Addy’s carrier down and she looked at you for the ok to get her. You nodded and she quickly undid the safety restraints and had her out and in her arms “My god she gets prettier every time I see her!” you smiled, running your fingers down Addy’s back “Thank you, I feel like it’s just me and Jay being partial when we say that’ she shook her head “Nope, she is gorgeous”

You held up your all clear “I got a present! You get me back on monday!” Trudy smiled “Thank god. I’m sick of seeing those two pout” “Two?” you asked and she nodded “Atwater with no partner and Halstead with no you” you shook your head “Jay’s just jealous I had four extra weeks with more time with her”

She passed Addy to you then took the all clear and grabbed a file from her desk and flipped it open “Sign these three and you’re clear” you moved Addy to your left side and signed where she pointed.

She smiled “Happy to have my favorite detective back” “Thank you” You heard the gate blocking intelligence pop and your eyes popped right before you heard Kevin calling for Trudy “Crap”

“You know he’s gonna see you” she whispered and you sighed “Maybe he won’t snitch?” you followed her out around the corner and Kevin’s eyes got wide along with his smile “There’s my favorite girls” he came around the desk to hug you and ran a hand over Addy’s head.

You smiled up at him “And you’re not gonna tell Jay I was here right?” he looked from you to Trudy and you knew that look. That was Kevin’s “Why can’t I?” look. “C’mon Kev!” you begged and he shrugged “I know he’ll wanna see her and everyone else wants to see her”

You sighed “And if it interrupts the work day or a call comes in?” Trudy spoke up “They’ll roll out. Not that big of a deal” you looked between them before finally giving up. There was no way Jay wasn’t finding out you were here without telling him. “Kev, grab her carrier. Trudy buzz me up”

____________

“Go!” you heard Trudy tell Kevin who was at your side by the time the gate popped, holding Addy’s carrier and holding the gate open. You playfully glared at him “You’re my best friend and willing to snitch” he laughed “Lil mama I wouldn’t tell on you for big stuff but for this? She was almost born here. She deserves to see it”

You walked up the stairs and could hear everyone’s voices drifting down. When you made it to the top step it was nearly comical at their reaction because everyone froze mid sentence. Jay was sitting on the edge of Adam’s desk, Kim was sitting on Hailey’s and Voight was at the board. When they spotted you all five of them turned and smiles slipped onto their faces. “Adeline!” Kim and Hailey were the first up and to your side, even beating Jay.

Hailey asked to hold her so you let her. Her and Kim were absolutely gushing over her when Jay got to you “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” you cut your eyes at Kevin “I was going to drop something off and leave but someone planned to tell you” Jay looked at Kevin and grinned “My man”

Voight nodded to you “Kidd, do I get you back monday?” you nodded “Yes sir” he smiled “Good” then walked towards Hailey and Kim “Give me my granddaughter” Jay slipped an arm around your waist and whispered “Told ya it would go to his head” you laughed lightly,watching how Voight was such a different man when it came to babies “It’s kinda cute”

Jay shook his head and kissed your temple “How was her six week?” you smiled “Perfect marks all around”  he nodded “And yours?” you groaned “My side is killing me” his eyes flickered over your body like he did after takedowns when he was clocking you for injuries “Why?” “I’ll tell ya later” you laughed.

__________

After about half an hour they had to roll out because a tip came in. Jay of course wanted to walk you to your jeep despite your protests so fully geared out he carried Addy out and buckled her into the base. You shook your head “She’s gonna have to deal with so many girls having crushes on her hot dad when she gets older”

He shot you a smirk “Easy there, someone may get the idea you like me a little” you laughed “Wouldn’t want anyone thinking that” he closed her door then looked at you “I gotta go. I’ll see you later” You nodded “Be careful” and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. He smiled because normally he was the one to kiss you somewhere. “I will” he promised before heading to meet up with Hailey at his truck. You watched him for a moment before climbing in your jeep to head home.

“You didn’t have to ride in with me” you told Jay for the third time. He’d shown up to your apartment originally because the plan was for the two of you to follow each other to daycare to drop Addy off to her first day together. 

“I can ride with Hailey on calls and besides I’m going to want to go with you to pick her up to see how her first day went” he shrugged and you shook your head. You were worried too, not so much about the daycare but about being away from her. This was the longest you’d been without her just being at Jay’s for a night and this was the first time for you two leaving her with anyone outside of Stella.

He reached his hand across the console and you slipped yours into it “She’ll be fine sweetheart” he assured you and you smiled “Telling me or yourself that?” he shrugged one shoulder “Both?”

You and him both could watch the security feed at any time, Stella or Will could drop in and check on her. Chloe was there at the daycare. You were just worrying. Let a call come in and adrenaline hit and you’d be fine. Jay squeezed your hand gently “Worried you got rusty?”

You gasped playfully and snatched your hand away from his “We’ll see who’s rusty Halstead. Bet I could take your feet out from under you just fine” he raised an eyebrow “Bet you could” and you snapped your mouth shut. Yeah you walked into that one. “We gotta sign H.R. paperwork too” you reminded him.

Voight had a stack of H.R. paperwork you and Jay were required to fill out since you had a child together and worked in the same unit. You had to agree to never partner. You had to name legal guardians who custody would go to should something happen to the two of you and both of you were setting up accounts so if something happened any money would go into it for either the other to use for expenses or to keep for her. 

“Yeah. Stella and Kelly are good choices” they were your pick for legal guardians and after considering it Jay had agreed. When you approached them Stella had cried, Kelly shook Jay’s hand and told him “I hope it never comes to it but know we’ll take care of her if it does”

You felt his eyes on you through two traffic lights so when the third was red you cut your eyes at him “It’s rude to stare” he grinned “I was thinking” you cut him off with a groan “Last time you said those words to me I ended up getting pregnant” 

He laughed “Oh I remember…but no I was thinking how much things have changed. We’re parents talking about living wills and choosing guardians for our daughter…it’s insane” you nodded, turning the jeep into the parking lot where all of intelligence used “Especially when you remember there’s still so much more coming”

He knew what you meant because he nodded “Should be around the second week of August” you swallowed hard before parking next to Adam’s car and killing the engine. You cut your eyes at him “That’s still months away. I’m not worrying about that bridge until I get to it. The elephant is eaten best one bite at a time”

“You can tell you’ve gotten back in with Dr Charles” he teased with a small smile before you both climbed out the jeep to head towards the back entrance that led up. He bumped his shoulder against yours as you walked across the parking lot and added “Just remember when you get to that bridge I’m with you no matter what. If you need help with it, I’m there” 

“I know Jay” you assured him with a smile before he grabbed the door and held it open for you so you ducked under his arm to step inside and he walked in after you. 

@desimarie12

@allisonargent144

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[fuck-customers]

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24/10

I worked a seasonal position as a receptionist, and my boss offered me a temporary position helping out in another department for a month once my contract was up. I accepted on the basis that it was 30 hours a week max and all I'd be doing was admin tasks, no speaking with clients. Which after a season full of holidaymakers I was desperate for.

The week I'm supposed to start I receive no communication from who I was told was my new boss until the day before I'm supposed to go in for a little bit of training, and she's put out when I reiterate that that week there's two days I can't do due to previous commitments I made while I thought I'd be unemployed. And when I get to work on the training day, the person who actually will be my boss doesn't ever work that day, so my poor previous boss had to scramble to find something for me to do, since no one could train me nor could I get on the company system properly as my new boss hadn't sorted my contract.

I'm annoyed but hey, things happen. It's the first week, so there's bound to be hiccups, right?

I get to work the next week and my new boss starts to train me with the system I'll be using, only to be pulled away because we have an auditor in and of course that's more important. I don't mind that at all, but don't have me come in to work if you know you don't have time to train me. The same thing happens the following day and there's another new hire from a different department in the same position as me, so we end up doing hardly anything all day and feeling like spare parts. By this point I'm fairly pissed off that the three shifts I've done have been pointless, but I'll persist.

I do two more shifts this week, both of which are actually me being trained and working, and it's becoming very apparent that I will actually have to speak with clients for this role; it's not just helping the department catch up with paperwork. I'm very much feeling lied to, messed about, and like I'm not the right fit for the job, so I take the weekend to think about it, and message my new boss on Sunday morning to tell her that I'm grateful for the chance but I won't be coming back in. I was very polite in my message, I didn't mention my frustration with the disorganisation in the department, the fact that everyone looks down on you for actually taking your lunch break rather than just working at your desk while you eat, or that, morally, I cannot be involved in helping sell holiday homes to people on a site that's severely rat infested and crumbling, but the general manager refuses to spend any money to revamp the place.

I was very final with my message, which I think was obvious by the fact that I wished my new boss the best of luck and a good holiday season, so I figured that would be that. I'll admit my anxiety has me refusing to check whatsapp so I can't see what she's said, because a) I'm not ready for that and b) to me, it's done and dusted.

She's tried to call me five times in the last 20 minutes. I don't know what the hell she wants, but I'm not answering. My best guess would be she wants me to work my notice, but there's absolutely no point. I'm still not trained properly to do this new job, so at least some of my one weeks notice would be me being trained for a job I'm leaving. Normally I'd never quit without giving and working my notice, but in this instance it's pointless.

I'm not going to answer her calls or call her back. I don't care. Honestly, working on reception was bad enough; it's very clear that the company as a whole values profit over guests' happiness and safety. It's one thing to sell someone a holiday on our shit hole of a site, but it's another thing entirely to be a part of them becoming an owner of a run-down holiday home. At least with guests, I can give them vouchers or money off a future holiday or at a push a refund. With this new job, I can't do anything but apologise for the shitty situation I've helped put the new owners in. I wish I was brave enough to say that to my now ex-boss.

Posted by admin Rodney