#JOEY POLE

[citrisz]

This is gorgeous.... gorgeous...

[vesperione]

Freak corner update in which I announce one of these things is not like the other

[marchharedraws]

Another commission for @joey-poey.bsky.social, featuring his gorgeous pole-dancing sugar glider, Maribel ^^

Thank you so much for the patience, I hope you like it!!

[chaosinstigator]

i love this sport

[bruce-morrow]

Out-FRONT! Fest. Presenting: Joey Kipp & Pioneers Go East Collective, 2023

Photo: Bruce Morrow

[notapradagurl7]

Thinkin’ Bout You.

BlackFem!/Plus Size Reader x Joey Bada$$.

Summary: You and Joey were roommates in your apartment and coming back from the summer break, he helped you put your stuff up into in your room until he brought up the one-night stand that happened between the two of you on the day before summer break.

Taglist: @henneseyhoe @megamindsecretlair @satoruya @siqueth @caashmoneynae @avoidthings @sageispunk @cvpidvsq @soft-persephone @life-in-the-slut-house @kindofaintrovert @hxneyclouds @meech667 @last-lost-one @lesbiantreehugger @westside-rot @keyera-jackson @euphorichappiness10 @swavydadon @thecookiebratz @kayla-charmanderrr96 @kaywopp @euphoriagrae @blackelysian @playgurlxoxo @planetblaque @myadalastdon @desiresiwant @moihasarrived @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @blackerthings @harmshake @vile-harlot @suckmybigtoe2 @browngirldominion @thecapodomme @daprettycancer @ingeniestrance @roeroe-world @babybratzmaraj @kprivqooo

( Requested by @naj-ay444 )

A/N: don't forget to reblog, comment and like to support your favorite writers.

Warnings: PWP, praise, dirty talk, degradation kink, spanking, straight-up fifth, profanity, erotic asphyxiation/choking, nipple play, facesitting, consensual for both parties, confession. Unprotected sex(wrap it up)

——————

Your deep brown eyes fixed on the brown dresser with your hands steadily moving the small books in place and organizing a few personal items, the subtle grunt from your roommate made you spin on your sock-covered feet. The man walked across the medium-sized bedroom with a box in his hand, the walls surrounding them were painted in sage green and decorated with small framed pictures of art.

“Do you need help with the box JoJo?” You asked in concern, raising your brows at him.

Your black locs were held up a bun, your dark brown skin and brown eyes. Your curvy body, sported a black shirt, sweatpants, and socks that matched in color. Your hands stuffed in your pockets.

You watched Joey carry the last box into your bedroom, he grunted as he lifted the box and your eyes saw his muscles flexing, the moonlight dancing on his dark skin. Butterflies flew in her stomach, your face grew warm from gazing at him.

Jo-Vaughn shook his head and replied, "Nah, I got it. Just trying to be a good roommate and good friend, you know?"

"Well, I appreciate it. It's nice to have some help after coming back from break. I missed our little apartment." You chuckled lightly, your eyes roaming the place.

"So do I, it's good to be back in our domain, I’ll be back shorty, I’m gonna put this box away” Joey mentioned kindly, nodding in agreement.

Your heart skipped a beat as you watched him, your mind racing with memories of that passionate night before summer break. The two of you lived together in the apartment for almost 6 years, it was a comfortable and familiar space.

You worked at your job while Joey was working as well, spent your evenings smoking a blunt or two, shared laughter and late-night conversations.

“Okay, I'll be right here.” You mentioned back to him, leaning against the wall.

But now, as you stood in your bedroom, the weight of that night hung heavy in the air. Would things go back to normal? Could you pretend like it never happened? The questions swirled in your mind, threatening to consume you.

He opened the box and picked the rod and light green curtains, Jo-Vaughn carefully hooked the light green curtains on the sliver pole of her small square-shaped window, gently pulling them apart and closing the curtain.

Jo-Vaughn sported a white tank top with matching sweatpants, and a gold chain swang around his neck. The pants sagged a bit, showing off his boxers.

He thought about that night with you as well, he dicked you down like he had something to prove.

He picked up the empty box and gently folded it thin, walking out of your room. He stepped into the empty room that either of you lived in, setting it down in the back closet, before walking into your room.

Turning his attention back to you. His dark eyes met yours as he walked through the door of your room. The tension hung in the air between the two of you.

“There’s somethin’ I need to ask you Y/N, it’s really important.” He replied in a soft tone, biting down his lip.

“You know you can tell me anything Joey,” You reassured him firmly, having a feeling about what he was going to ask you.

His black locs styled in two-strand twists gradually swayed as he sat down on the edge of your bed, his brown eyes locked with yours.

“Do you remember the night between us at Gemma’s party before summer break?” He asked nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

Your breath hitched at his words, the memories flooding back to you in vivid detail. The way his hands had roamed your body, Joey dicked you down so good, the way his lips pressed against yours, the handprint he left on your ass, You swallowed hard, trying to compose yourself as you met his gaze.

"Of course, I remember," you replied softly, fiddling with your fingernails. Your eyes moved from the floor then back to him.

You paused, your heart racing a bit as you remembered the night they had shared. You cleared your throat, trying to play it cool. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

"Joey, we said we wouldn't bring it up," you reminded him softly, your voice firm yet gentle.

Jo-Vaughn nodded while pursing his lips briefly, his eyes locked with yours again. But he was falling with you, butterflies flew in his stomach whenever he was around you.

“I know, I know but I can't stop thinkin’ 'bout you, the way your body squirmed under me, those pretty faces you've made while I was eatin’ you out and those moans you made, drove me crazy,” Jo-Vaughn admitted, his voice raised an octave.

For the first time, he was speechless and didn’t know what else to say. Jo-Vaughn was tongue-tied every time he was around you. The admission caught you off guard. You had expected him to brush it off, to act like it didn't matter.

As the memory flooded, you could feel the familiar heat pooling between your thick thighs. You tried to push those thoughts away, to focus on the present moment.

“Being this close to you, it’s driving me crazy..” He murmured, moving his locs from his face.

You have a clear recollection of the party night right before summer break, where both you and Gemma were invited and decided to have a good time before embarking on a trip together.

After consuming a few alcoholic beverages while sitting together on the couch, you rose to your feet and seized his hand, drawing him towards you and onto the dance floor. The intoxicating effect of the liquor had swiftly emboldened you.

You used to be reserved and hesitant when meeting new people, and even among those you were familiar with, you only revealed your true character.

The smooth R&B played through the ebony twin speakers, the smell of weed, cologne, and perfume hung in the air, Joey and you found yourselves dancing closely, the heat of the bodies in the crowded room adding to the intensity of the moment. The way his hands moved along your curves, the way his lips brushed against your neck.

The way his eyes bore into yours, pulling him closer to your face, breath fanning across each other's faces, a subtle mix of alcoholic fruity punch and candy.

Your heads leaned in gradually, lips meeting in a soft, yet passionate kiss. The music faded as the connection between the two of you intensified, lip-locking and tongue-kissed you sloppily, his hands roaming down your curves and gripping your ass with your permission.

Eventually, the two of you made your way through the hallways of Gemma’s house, stumbling through the door with drunk laughter and teasing remarks like “I can't believe we just did that" and "I hope Gemma didn't see us."

Once inside the bedroom next to Gemma’s and clothes were tossed out haphazardly. The sound of your moans and the bed creaking fills the room.

“I'm pretty sure she saw you shoving your tongue down my throat,” You replied in a sarcastic tone, chuckling at him.

“Oh? She did? Can I shove somethin’ else down yo’ throat,” Joey teased back, biting down on his lips.

"Is that so?" You smirked, playfully pulling him close. "Well, you'll have to earn that privilege again."

Joey chuckled, his eyes sparkling mischievously. "Challenge accepted."

The memory of that night flooded your mind, the way Joey had taken charge and pleasured you in ways you had never experienced before.

After that night, the two of you made your way back to the apartment. Sleeping softly in your bed with Joey, the memories of the night etched in both of your brains. The hangover took over immediately.

Even though you and Joey maintained your friendship and spent time together, you harbored hidden feelings and desired a deeper connection with him.

“I hoped that it wouldn't be weird between us, sex made it worse Joey.”

“I don't just want sex from you, I only want you Y/N.”

He rose from the bed and approached you, maintaining a respectful distance as his gaze traced the contours of your body, lingering on your curves and dips.

You had already crossed the line with him at the party that night, knowing deep down that there was no way to undo what had happened.

"I secretly wanted this to be more with you and I couldn't stop thinking about you either,” you confessed lovingly, her lips forming into a playful grin.

Joey’s grin rested on his face, stepping closer to you, their bodies almost touching. The sexual tension hung in the air, he brought his face a bit closer. His breath fanned across your face, a mix of peppermint and weed.

“What’s stopping you Y/N?” He asked seductively, smirking at the woman.

Your face gradually leaned into his, closing the gap between them, your lips pressed against his, soft and plump just like you remembered. Tilting their heads on opposite sides together, only to deepen the kiss between them.

Wrapping your arms around him as he did the same, his lips were soft against hers, backing away from the wall only to gently plop on her bed, you on top of him which he adorned, he loved how you took control. The kiss ended with a soft smack, his hand roaming up your tank top, feeling no bra underneath.

It didn't block the friction when his fingers tugged at your nipples, “Your nipples are already hard," he whispered, his tongue flicking onto your nipple, wrapping his arm around him.

His plump lips suckling on your nipple while his freehand hand fondled your left breast. Your essence trickling down your thigh to his tip, Joey moaned at the feeling.

Sliding both of their tank tops off and sweatpants, their underwater as well, throwing them across the bedroom floor, now they were out of the way.

His hand roamed between your thighs, “May I?” he asked gently, you nodded quickly, “Yes, baby please..” you murmured, his middle finger and ring finger gently rubbing your wet folds.

You let out a soft moan, feeling your body respond to his touch. Your pussy clenched around his fingers, you needed him inside of you. To feel him again, he was yours and you were his. “You’re grippin’ my fingers already..” He groaned against your neck.

Your hands balled up in the blanket, Joey kissed your neck, collarbone and decorated your dark brown skin with hickeys, his fingers moved in and out of your entrance, and your hips rolled with the teasing pace. he smirked at your reaction. “Jo-Vaughnnn!” you screamed.

“Look at you, pleasurin’ yourself with my fingers. Such a muh’fuckin’ nasty girl, feels good?” He teased again, picking up the pace with his thumb circling your throbbing clit.

“Yes, so fucking good..” You whined softly, pouting in response. His fingers pumping into you at a faster pace, your legs shaking and twitching.

You loved how he stayed in rhythm with each heartbeat, your essence splattered over his palm as he watched it spill, putting him in a trace. “I never stopped thinkin’ bout you, you're always on my mind, Y/N”

The fast pace in his fingers and thumb kept going, guaranteed to make you squirt like the last time. “You make me feel so good,

Your legs almost closed from the intensity until you moaned “J-joey! I-cummin!” you screamed in pleasure, your body plunged between the pillows, and he brought his body weight onto yours. Your breast bounced against his chest, the friction you wanted was there.

“Let it out, lemme have it..” Joey praised through your climax, and whispered in your ear. Licking across your neck and nibbling on your ear. Driving you crazy with bliss.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, bringing him closer to you, his lips suckling on your bottom lip, The pleasure zoomed through your body, and prolonged moans escaped from your lips. “Ohmyfuck! Joey!” Your essence gushed on his fingers, a pool in his palm and on the bedsheets. Squirting undone, wrapping his mouth around where squirted and drank more of you.

A mess that made his dick harden and moaned in response, “Look at the mess you made..” he whispered, rubbing your thighs to help you relax.

Slumping against him, he planted a tender kiss on your lips. “You’re so pretty when you cum on me..” he cooed, letting go of your neck. Withdrew his fingers from you.

You heavily panted from the orgasm and smirked, you crawled away from him, lying on your back on the comfortable pillows, seeing him kneel on the bed. With his dick between his legs, your mouth watered at the sight.

“You missed this pussy baby?” You teased, gently spreading your legs apart. Your middle finger rubbed your clit and moaned softly.

Joey's hooded eyes on you, kneeled on the bed, gripping his length in his hand. He wrapped his hand around your neck,

moaning at his dominance, “Hell yeah, I missed that pussy, I'm comin’ in..” He mentioned, pecking your lips.

Watching him stroke his own erection. Precum pouring out of his tip. He groaned raspily from your pussy clenching. He gently pushed his length between your wet folds, you moaned girlishly from your walls wrapping his dick, inch by inch. “Pussy’s too tight, just for me..” he grunted deeply, pushing his hips.

“Oh.. yes! It’s all for you, that dick is for me right?” You asked while cutting yourself off with a moan, growing wetter by a second.

“Fuck yeah, baby girl..this dick is yours..” He groaned lowly, rolling his hips into you. Smacking your ass while he gripped the other asscheek in his hand.

Stroking into you, hitting your G-spot and you screamed in pleasure. "Ah, Ouu!" You moaned loudly, your nails scratched down his back, smacking your ass with one hand.

His hand wrapped around your jaw, making you gaze at him. The bed creaked under your body movement, his thrusts turned sloppy, "Can't speak, dick got your tongue hm?" he hummed, his eyes on you.

Breathless and trembling, your eyes rolled back but words were caught in your throat. He was plowing into you lovingly, his tip kissing your cervix over and over. “Can't s-speak, dick too good baby..” you mumbled, moving your hips with him.

Your essence gushed on his dick completely and your walls hugged around him, finding a happy home to settle in, you were elated to be with him. “I’m so happy to be yours..” he groaned lowly, kissing you.

Nope, you're not imagining it. He just said it to you, “I f-feel the same way baby,” you moaned in response, and your head fell on a pillow.

Your heart thumped out of your chest and threw your head back. Your voice became raspy, and the passion hung in the room. You were close to your climax, your walls tightened around him again. “Coming!” you moaned in response.

Came undone on his dick, coating him like a blanket and he watched every trickle as he pulled out of you, his tip spurted white and landed on your tummy. “Fuck Y/N..” he groaned, hearing groan your name gave you butterflies, You smirked.

You collapsed beside him on the bed, their bodies still humming with desire. Joey pulled you close, pressing soft kisses to her forehead as they caught their breath.

“I love you Y/N..”

“I love you too, Joey..”

After that intimate moment between you two, it was only right that you suddenly fell asleep peacefully, Joey pulled you close to his naked body and the ceiling fan spun in circles. Taking the darkness around the both of you, your locs hung in front of your face. He smiled at you.

"My girl," he whispered, nuzzling his nose against yours.

As you lay intertwined in the cozy blankets, your bodies wrapped in each other's embrace and your lips gently touching, a tranquil silence filled the air. The outside world slowly slipped away, gradually fading into insignificance as he too succumbed to slumber.

——————

[ravennaortiz]

A Mendoza Family Halloween

Manny waved goodbye to a couple of the guys before hopping onto his bike. He shivered as the crisp October hair brushed his neck as he snapped his helmet on before heading home. A smile hosted his face as he thought about how excited his baby girl was for trick or treating. This was the first time in a couple years he would be able to join his family for a night of strolling through the neighbor and binging on sweets.

His mind drifted to wandering what costume his sweet Julieta had finally decided on. The last week she had been deciding between either a princess or a biker. He chuckled as he thought about how she had asked him if she could borrow his bike for the night. Being unable to use the word no with her he had simply shrugged and said will see ignoring the hard stare his beloved wife Liliana had sent him.

Manny frowned as he pulled in the driveway. His wife rushing out the door dressed in her magenta scrubs, whipping her hair up into a messy bun as she tossed her work back in her car.

“Everything good mama?” called Manny as he quickly parked his bike and jogged to his wife.  Liliana had a grim look as she shook her head as she typed on her phone. Manny waited assumingly she was letting her team know she was enroute.

“Two of my high risk moms have been admitted. Things don’t look great. I’m so sorry Manny” started Liliana before Manny cut her off with a quick kiss.

“No sorry’s. You go do what you do best. I’ll hold the fort down here” stated Manny firmly as he ushered Liliana into her car as she gave him a relieved smile.

“This is why I chose you. I love you” stated Liliana as she started the car as Manny shut the door before rolling the window down. “Lil Joey is here too. I told his moms we would take him around since they were both working late”.

“I love you too. No worries. Text me when you get there and leave” stated Manny as he gave her another kiss before she drove off. Manny stood watching until she turned off the street before jogging up the stairs to get the kids.

“Good evening Mr. Mendoza!” called Lil Joey excitedly from the living room where he sat watching SpongeBob with Julieta who smiled and waved at him as she sipped on a juice box. Manny couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he took in the scene on his couch. It was one that in about ten years he would lose his mind over but for now it was kinda cute. The two kids were dressed up in their costumes and holding hands as the show played and they quoted word for word the lines.

Julieta was dressed up in what he assumed was a worm costume his amazing wife had somehow thrown together with a doctor cap, mask and stethoscope. While Lil Joey had on a fisherman’s cap, vest and had a fishing pole lying next to him with a rainbow fish hooked on it. A couple costume thought Manny as he snorted and shook his head. Like mother like daughter he thought as he ruffled Lil Joeys cap before kissing Julieta. “You kiddos ready to head out” he asked as he moved to grab his regular car keys from the hook.

The cheering and yelling had him laughing as he turned around. Both kids scrambling to grab there trick or treat bags they had decorated the weekend before at Lil Joeys house. They made a bee line to the door as Manny followed behind.

“Ladies” called Manny about two hours later as he caught sight of Lili Joeys moms walking down the sidewalk. “You two look like a couple of Old Ladies in all that leather” he added making Pam and Karen laugh as they got closer each striking a “tough” pose.

“When your kid tells you to dress up you dress up. That and we thought we might want to join your little club” laughed Karen as Pam handed Manny a small bag.

“A little thank you gift” stated Pam as she shrugged as Manny shook his head and laughed. The idea of these two little white women sitting in Templo amused him.

“Pam, is this what I think it is?” demanded Manny as he peeked in the bag catching a scent of warm bread and cinnamon. His mouth was watering as he took another big whiff.

“Your favorite pumpkin snickerdoodle loaf? That you mentioned months ago? Maybe” replied Pam as she blushed as Manny pulled her in for a hug.

“Thank you. Not needed but appreciated” stated Manny as he stepped back and glanced to the kids as they wearily trudged down the sidewalk from the last house for the night.

“Look like you tired them out” laughed Karen as both kids yawned and plopped down on the sidewalk. “Also looks like they got quite the haul” she added as she handed Lil Joeys bag to Pam as she picked him up.

“They have made off like bandits for sure” stated Manny as he scooped up Julieta and her bag. The three adults walked back to their cars as the wind picked up and it started to sprinkle.  

“Think you and Liliana could come over next week for a Marg and Smores night?” asked Pam as they neared the cars.

“I don’t see why not” stated Manny as they got the kids situated in their cars. “Liliana is working tonight but I’ll let you know tomorrow at pickup”

“Perfect! Have a good night and thanks again!” called Pam as she hugged Manny.

“No worries. Text wh-“ started Manny before Karen cut him off with a laugh.

“When we get home. We know the drill mister Presidente” she laughed as Manny pretended to give her a stern look. “Normally you don’t interrupt the Presidente. I’ll let it slide tonight” he joked before waving them off and getting in his car. He shook his head as he thought about the last few months. Who would have thought two of his favorite people would be two little white ladies.

Return to Two Worlds Universe Masterlist

[blicketdabest33]

Would anyone be interested in working on a Empires S1 inspired pokemon region?

I've been sculpting a little world in my head for a Empires S1 inspired pokemon region, which i have been calling Imperia (this will definitely be changed, just a working title).

I realized that this would be a MONUMENTAL project to construct on my own, and since i have been aching for a fun collab recently, i was wondering if anyone was interested.

It would take place in a discord server ideally, but tumblr also works.

Aspects of the project would include: -Coming up with regional forms and new pokemon -Designing a story to go along with the region -Lots of art -Time, time, timeeeeeeee -Gym leaders -Trying desperately to balance teams out

What I have done so far: -A couple regional forms -Each empire's gym leader type and their respective possible teams -An idea for an enemy team i'm calling Team Borealis

My current ideas for Gym Leaders (aka the emperors), with their aces all being regional forms i made up: Rivendelle - Scott - Ice type - Ace: Rivendellian Absol (Dark/Ice) Ocean Empire - Lizzie - Water type - Ace: Lazuli Lapras (Water) Gilded Helianthia - Pearl - Grass/Dark type - Ace: Helianthian Meganium (Grass/Dark) Codlands - Jimmy - Ground type - Ace: Codlands Swampert (Ground) (I really don't like this, but it was the best i could think of, so it'll probably change) Pixandria - Pix - Psychic type - Ace: Pixandrian Xatu (Psychic) (Egyptian theme instead of totem pole) Mythland - Sausage - Dark type - Ace: Blood Mareep (Dark) (Y'all i made a blood sheep :D) Crystal Cliffs - Gem - Rock type - Ace: Crystalized Gigalith (Rock/Fairy) House Blossom - Katherine - Grass/Fairy - Ace: Blossoming Leafeon (Grass/Fairy) (Unrelated, but i made Florges Grass/Fairy LIKE IT SHOULD BE) Undergrove - Shubble - Grass/Poison - Ace: Undergrove Bellossom (Grass/Poison) Grimlands - Fwhip - Dragon type - Ace: Redstone Flygon (Electric/Dragon) Lost Empire - Joey - Flying type - Ace: Revived Swellow (Flying/Ghost) Mezalea - Joel - Fighting Dual type - Ace: Mezalean Jigglypuff (Fairy/Fighting) (Look, the best pokemon for Joel ever is Jigglypuff)

Of course everything could be up to changes, but this is just an example of what i'm talking about. This pokemon au in my mind has consumed me and i think a bit of help is in order.

DM me if you're interested.

I CALL UPON THE MUTUALS!!

[jesuschristmattyhealy]

bleak midwinter

(this is the first thing I've written in ages pls pls be nice! Also, I know that it is neither cold nor snowing in London right now but I simply don't care!! this is literally just domestic cuteness because that is what I have brain power for <333 goodnight)

It’s biting cold. So cold they’ve said on the news that the dogs shouldn’t go out for any longer than it takes them to pee. So cold that your dad is texting you from home that you should buy a space heater for the basement so the pipes don’t freeze. 

“Tell your dad if I’m buying a space heater it’s to shove up my own arse so I don’t turn into an icicle in my own living room.” Matty enters the room as you read him the message, clutching a blanket shawl around his bare shoulders. 

“Have you thought about starting with a shirt, sunshine?” You ask, tugging the fleece fabric tighter to his chest. 

“I did, but then I thought you’d rather stare at my ripped man muscles all day,” He jokes, flexing under the blanket. His hair is unbrushed and falling in competing angles across his face. 

“Ugh, you know me so well,” you laugh, pinching his arms, “Thank God for my big strong man and his big strong man muscles.” 

His voice deepens to a grunt, “Big strong man hunt mammoth throw spear light fire.” 

“Yeah, could you actually? It’s worse than the North Pole in here.” 

“Should we walk the boys first? That way we don’t yunno… burn the house down.” 

“We’re ignoring the weathermen’s advisory?” You ask, waving your phone screen at his face to reiterate. 

He sighs, “Okay, well then you get to tell them that they’re only allowed out for five seconds and deal with them looking at you like you ran over their friend for the rest of the day.” 

As if on cue, Mayhem and Allan lumber into the kitchen, jowls quivering at the prospect of the word “out.” Ever since you moved in with Matt, the dogs have become as much yours as they are his. Matty swears they love you more than him. And it’s true. You can’t resist their droopy faces and old man frowns. 

“Okay, fine,” you relent, huffing, “But they have to wear their blankets and their boots and possibly even a scarf.” 

“Right, that can be sorted.” 

He runs off upstairs to pull on something for the blustery weather while you root through the baskets by the front door to find the dogs’ blankets and winter boots. Matty made relentless fun of you for buying them, saying that no way would it ever get cold enough in London for them to use them. And then he’d seen the awkward, baby giraffe prance the two creatures did when the boots went on. He was so entertained he began searching for excuses to put them on. 

You pull each dog into your lap, cooing apologies and encouragement at their stiff limbs and whale eyes. 

“You’re going to look so handsome in your boots!” You remind them, to no avail, “All your neighborhood friends will be so jealous.” 

Neither animal seems convinced. Next are the blankets: green for Mayhem, red for Allan. You scrounge up a couple of crochet neck warmers you made back during lockdown that have become the dogs’ (your first designs were too rudimentary for human use). The two stand blankly in the entryway, staring up at you, a pair of disheveled and disdainful babushkas.  

“Right love, I brought you an extra jumper because that one’s not nearly warm enough, and I think you should wear these.” Matty rounds the corner, fully dressed now and very much resembling Joey Tribiani a la “The One Where No One is Ready.” He’s holding the sweater of his that you love to steal, and a pair of NorthFace snow pants that you haven’t touched since going home to visit your parents last Christmas. 

“Wearing enough clothes there, gorgeous?” You pull lightly at his two turtlenecks. 

“Time will tell, darling,” he quips, pulling a balaclava over his unruly curls, “Get your pants on then, would you.” 

“I’m going to look like a stuffed turkey in these,” you protest. 

He looks at you, “Love, we’re the only ones dumb enough to be outside right now, who are you worried about seeing you?” You purse your lips which he takes as invitation to steal a kiss, “C’mon, you’ll be the cutest stuffed turkey on the block.” 

You pull the snowpants on in a rustle of movement and fabric. He turns to the dogs who are still frozen in position by the door, unwilling to move a toe in their boots. 

“And who are these dashing gentlemen!?” Matty coos, rushing over to the dogs to tug gently at their ears, “Are you boys ready?” 

You love the voice he uses for the dogs, a high pitched, horse squeak that seems so uncharacteristic coming from a man who dresses in leather and cowboy boots on the daily. In the morning, while he’s feeding them before coming back to bed, you’ll lie awake and listen to the monologue running in the kitchen — asking if the doggies had sweet dreams, asking why Allan was whimpering in the middle of the night, asking where they should go walking today, quipping “the usual boys?” as he sets the dishes down. 

“They were born ready!” You say, straightening up from pulling on your fleece lined boots. 

“Right, then let’s go!” 

You open the door and the wind hits your little group like a cement wall. Within the first five seconds of exposure, your eyes are watering and your nose is dripping ferociously. Over the howling gusts, you can hear your boyfriend’s indignant complaints. 

“This is by far the most ridiculous idea we’ve ever had, I mean what are we doing, it’s literally cold enough to castrate me.” 

“Okay, okay,” you gasp, “We’re walking two blocks and turning around.” 

“And then is it Virgin River time?” 

“Virgin River and fire time, very much so.” 

“That’s all you had to say.” 

And he’s off, pulling Allan down the stairs and through the front gate. You and Mayhem can only stiffly follow in their footsteps, Mayhem taking each step as if stepping down into the Grand Canyon. Allan has stopped to pee on a tree and Matty is hoping up and down next to him. 

“I didn’t wear enough clothes,” he moans as you get closer to him. 

“Oh, poor man,” you pout, looping your arms and running a mittened hand up and down his bicep, “Is this helping?” 

He closes his eyes, scrunching his nose dramatically, “Emotionally yes, physically, not really.” 

“Oh dear, well let’s keep it moving,” you stick your hand in the jacket of his puffy coat and find his, “We’ll think warm thoughts.” 

He nods, “Sahara Desert, I am in the Sahara Desert and it is so hot.” 

The four of you walk as quickly as you can down the sidewalk. In a way, the silence of the cold is sort of pretty. It hasn’t snowed in a while and the remaining piles of snow are frozen into the concrete, glittering menacingly in the steely sunshine. There are rarely cabs or cars in your neighborhood, but today there isn’t even one. You can hear the window panes rattling in your neighbors' homes. You understand what they’re singing about in “In the Bleak Midwinter,” that silent frost that hangs over your head, a threatening promise, an empty maw. 

You’ve barely made it three house fronts when Matty suddenly announces, 

“Right lads, have you both pissed? Can we go back?” 

The dogs peer up at him as best they can from beneath their shawls. Allan does a full body shake. 

“Taking that as yes,” he turns the two of you in a half moon and sets off again at a brisk pace, a horse going back to stable, “I’m going to drink so much tea when we get back, you’re not even going to believe it.” 

“I’ll join you in that,” you mutter, tucking your chin further into your favorite wool scarf. 

You tumble back through the front door, a cascade of static electricity and shivering limbs. Matty hurries off in one direction to start the fire, and you in the other to turn the kettle on. You’re rolling the sleeves of his sweater up and over your hands and debating turning the oven on just so you can stick your freezing hands in when you feel a pair of hands on your shoulder. 

“How’s it coming?” Matty mutters in your ear.

“It’s not going half as fast as I need it to,” your teeth chatter around the words, a full body shiver pulsing through your body. 

“You know what they say about watched pots.” 

“I know, but I don’t know where else to look.” 

“How about at me?” He asks with a hint of indignation. 

“Oh, okay,” you giggle as he spins you around so that your hands can loop behind his neck. His curls are rough from the cold and goosebumps rise across his rosy skin. 

“Let’s never go back outside,” he mutters, burying his face in your neck. His hands wind themselves in the excess fabric of your sweater, his thumbs brush the bare skin at the base of your spine. 

You sigh, “But what if we need something?” 

He grumbles a laugh, “I have half a Sainsbury’s worth of tea, Jack and Mel, the dogs, the fire, and you. I don’t know what else I could possibly need.” 

You smile, inhaling. He smells of the wood stove, tobacco smoke and the vanilla lotion that he keeps swearing he isn’t stealing from you. 

“You’re right. There's nothing else.” 

[citrisz]

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

[adina123]

Empires smp god au

Pearl Goddess of the harvest and farming her title was literally the farmer pearl and in the past people kept track of harvest by looking at the phases of the moon and positioning of the constellations

Lizzie the trickster goddess of the ocean and government ocean because in season one she was a fish goddess and government because in season two she was a mayor and in both she is a scam artist trying to make a profit through morality ambiguous means

Joel god of thunder and art in canon he is the god of thunder and if anyone in empires was a art god it would be the guy that sculpted clones of himself and built stratos/mezalia

Katherine goddess order and balance and duality she fights evil by transforming from the pretty pink princess to the axe wielding warrior and as lady Katherine of the overgrown she is the one that is neutral the one that Try’s to keep order

Jimmy is The god of death for obvious reasons

Joey is the god of wealth and desire because he is a pirate and pirates like gold also he steals from false and really wants to get in xornoth s pants he also Katherine’s (understandable)

Shubble is the goddess of nature and the wild because her whole wolf thing she had going on in the first season of empires and the infected outlaw thing she had in season 2

Scott god of the passage of time and the four seasons (and rainbows) because he has connections to flowers (spring) in life series and stars in origin smp and winter in empires smp

Pix god of messengers and prophecies( he is in charge of the recaps that gives people information they might have missed also he is a prophet)

Fwhip god of fire and revenge because in both seasons of empires he has had a stubborn heated rivalry with jimmy and did not take the break up well also in art his hair is fire truck red

Gem goddess knowledge and magic because she as the wizard gem she is a powerful magician and because as the princess of dawn she teaches others about the sun god also the wizard gems empire is literally a school

Sausage love and family and lust because he is known for his platonic love (Hermes and Eddie and pearl) and let’s say his passionate spicy love( pole dancing and flirting)

Oli god of music and insanity he is a bard and who’s words make zero sense to everyone and watching him you get sensory overload ( he is the oldest but nobody believes him)

false goddess of mystery and adventure and new beginnings because she is lost her memory and is a very adventurous person also do to the lost memories she basically started from square one when she came to empires

[pupsmailbox]

FROG︰TOAD ID PACK

NAMES︰ amos. andromeda. anoures. arabella. arnold. baggio. bathilda. beedle. belatrix. billiu. blaise. blue. cane. cormac. cornelius. cricket. daniel. diagon. fang. fawks. fenrir. fisher. flitwick. fowler. frosc. frosch. frosk. george. gilderoy. gill. glen. gray. griphook. helena. indigo. jeremiah. jeremy. joey. kingsley. kneazle. lake. lobel. luna. marjorie. merope. minerva. moss. mrs. myrtle. nagini. narcissa. norris. nox. olivier. otter. padfoot. percy. perkins. phineas. phryne. ranee. rani. ranid. ranidae. reginald. ren. riddle. river. robin. rowena. rubeus. shacklebolt. storm. sybil. tad. tonks. trevor. trixi. viktor. webster. woody.

PRONOUNS︰ amphi/amphibian. amphibian/amphibian. aqua/aquatic. bull/frog. cro/croak. croak/croak. croak/ribbit. dumpy/dumpy. fro/frog. frog/frog. froggy/froggy. gi/gill. green/green. hop/hop. in/insect. jump/jump. leap/leap. lily/pad. poi/poison. pond/pond. rib/ribbit. ribbit/ribbi. ribbit/ribbit. slime/slime. sticky/sticky. swamp/swamp. tad/pole. tadpole/tadpole. to/toad. toad/toad. tree/frog. web/webbed. 🐸.

[chaosinstigator]

what the hell was that radio, someone trying to copy max orrr

[stormoflina]

Happy New Year's Eve to everyone! 😁🎉🍷

I saw the tiktok boys doing this trend in the international break, and the idea stayed with me, and it's fitting rn anyway. If it's lame I will just blame my friends for giving me bad experiences 😸

Rating how a night-out with lfc players would go (this is for the girlies, do mind that):

Virg: You would feel the most safe and relaxed on a night-out in your whole entire life. Virg would literally scare all unwanted comments and wandering hands just with his aura. He would buy you whisky, trying to be fancy, but by the end of the night you would be on your 4th beer together, doing karaoke. He would leave by like 1 am tho. 9/10

Tsimi: he drinks one vodka-redbull and it's over. And by that I mean it's not really over, quite the opposite actually. Not leaving the club until they literally close. He would be bouncing up the walls, dancing with everyone, chatting up to strangers while waiting for drinks, running around, making new best friends every bathroom break, falling in love at least 3 times just that night. A nice, eventful night, but by the end, you would probably be exhausted. 7/10

Joey: Ngl, you would probably be kinda worried about partying with him, thinking he's a bit dull or the atmosphere will be awkward... Only to be completely wrong and for you to have the best night of your life? He takes shots like a champ, smooth dance moves,a great wingman and has the best drunk advice to your drunk first world problems. He also knows the best place to get kebab place after the club and walks you home. 10/10

Ibou: Go out with him and you will have the time of your life. Takes the best pictures and tags you, likes and comments, just to get the guy you like all hot and bothered. Pretends he doesn't understand English and starts cursing out people in French, just because. Outfit on point. -1 point for making your stomach hurt from laughing too much. 9/10

Robbo: It's either a heartfelt hug and temple kisses while pouring your heart out kind of night or trying to use the street lamps as a strip pole while laughing like the two of you have lost your minds kind of night. Brings his own alcohol for pre gaming, because "it's much better, trust me." He's never a quiet person, both with each drink he has, the volume of his voice just increases. He tries to guess the dick size of random guys who try to chat you up. You will need 2-3 days to recover from this night, but it's all worth it. 10/10

Darwin: Unlike Kostas, Darwin is NOT allowed to drink redbull-vodkas, not under any circumstances. Instead he drinks literally anything else. He especially likes those colourful cocktails. When they start to hit, he picks up the straws and pretends he is a walrus. Who cares about the language barrier, you can communicate just fine by dancing together. Darwin is a really good dancer, alright, all eyes glued to him. Somehow he gets into a fight and gets thrown out. He claims he is innocent, but who actually knows. There are always other clubs! 8/10

Joel: When you ask him out he just glares at you with raised eyebrows. Still, he shows up, with an unimpressed expression glued to his face all night until they start playing Timberland. Suddenly the coconut man is all arms up and legs moving. He leaves randomly before midnight without telling you tho. 5/10

Trent: The night kinda takes a wrong route before it can even start, when he makes a bet about which one of you can take more shots without stopping. Trent wins, his eyes sparkling and a relaxed, loop-sided smile already plastered on his face. He pays for the taxi and is extremely smug about the girls he claims he will get. Tries to make another bet with you on who can pull the most. Ends up sulking after he gets rejected (nevermind that literally everyone else wants a piece of him). He doesn't dance, just stands like a stick, licking his lips and holding his drink. Starts asking horny questions after 2 am. 8.5/10

Macca: Takes forever to pee, because he starts making friends with everyone in the bathrooms. Brings his own personalized maté cup, but God knows what’s inside. Judging by how red-faced he gets as the night goes on, it must be something strong tho. Good dancer, if only he would stop doing googly eyes at people while he promised it was a friends only night… 6/10 

Domi: The pre-gaming might be more fun than the actual party. Takes forever to get ready, because he keeps talking too much, showing you his favourite songs and offering his grandpa’s pálinka. Puts in way too much hair product. By the time you get to the club, both of you are comfortably drunk. Not the best dancer, but enthusiasm makes up for it.  He starts eyefucking random hot people. It gets annoying by 3 am, when you are ready to go home and sleep and he still has way too much energy. 8/10

Jota: Keeps complaining that he didn’t want to go, then drinks everyone under the table. Like it’s actually annoying how unfazed he seems. Takes good care of you, looking after you, bringing you water, but still, when you are tipsy, dizzy and feels like you are going to throw up, you would rather have him shut up about FIFA for a sec. 6.5/10

Ali: Says he will not drink, because he has stuff to do early in the morning, but still comes and has a great time. Funny, kind and polite, and very good looking, which turns out to be a bit of a problem, after people just won’t stop asking him out. Gives you great advice when you start talking about the guy you like. His dancing is cute, but a bit old fashioned. 8/10

[artyandink]

𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 | 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎!𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝟷

Summary: Ivonne Rainer hadn’t met Dean Winchester in 2006 after he was hit by a car. No, this time, this universe, they met in 2010, when the whole Apocalypse deal started and Dean was made leader of one of the only remaining survival camps in America. Little did he know, one random raid would change everything.

A/N - I’m writing this in tandem with the main series, so by the time we get to this point, you’ve got a gist of what’s going on :)

MASTERLIST

SURVIVAL

Dean had been having what was a more than rough day. He’d lost four soldiers in the past week to the Crotes, and he had no Sammy to turn to. No Bobby either, and it killed him. His hand struck the table, a curse leaving his mouth as he did so, bent over and wondering where to hit next.

It had barely been a year since Sam had agreed to Lucifer, saying the big ‘yes’ when he realised that his brother was no longer gonna be there for him. Since then, things were spiralling. Lucifer won. The only immune people were dead and they all turned out as psychos, if you don’t count that Andy kid who didn’t deserve to go out the way he did.

None of them did.

“Damn it.” His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, trying to make heads or tails until he spotted a place they hadn’t covered yet that could be promising. He picked up a marker, circling it haphazardly as he ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, D’Marco!” He yelled out, and one of his men poked his head through.

“Yeah, boss?”

“Rally the squad. We’re hitting Jersey City.”

I jumped over the hood of a car, taking out my machete and swinging as it caught a Croat by the neck, its head thudding to the floor. My eyes glowed red, a metal pole flying up and jabbing straight through the skull of another while I elbowed a third in the neck, going in and shooting point blank.

“God, I hate it here.” I growled, then I got clawed in the arm by one, familiar pain stinging my arm as I shot the assailant in the eye. I’d been fighting my way through this for close to a year, and I’d simply needed to raid the convenience for supplies and I got myself in this blasted mess. “This sucks ass.” I quickly disarmed an approaching Croat with a glow of my eyes and flick of my hand, taking its head and snapping its neck, an animalistic whine, almost like an injured dog, leaving it’s mouth before it flopped like a ragdoll onto the floor, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s a goddamn wasteland out here!” I heard someone yell, followed by rapid gunfire and yells of something that could be pain or stress. I got down before realising it wasn’t aimed at me, so I got back out, immediately pounced on by a Croat that I quickly put down by shooting it. I got up, replacing the clip. I needed to get back to my base and fast, otherwise whoever these guys were could be raiders.

Raiders were asses. They took what they wanted and didn’t care whose lives got lost. It sickened me. I growled under my breath, moving behind a building as I spotted the license plate of a Jeep.

“These are dead Croats, boss. Every last one of them.” A voice called out, followed by footsteps that were made more monstrous by the sound of crunching gravel. “Somebody was out here, killing ‘em.”

“Someone that good? C’mon Joey, be realistic. It has to be another team.” The group chuckled at the joke made by another member of their team, and I frowned in annoyance. I’m sorry, do they see anyone else out here? Actually, they could only see me out here, so it was a given. I peered around the corner, and saw that all of them had their backs to me. I crept up, careful not to crunch on the gravel until I reached the guy at the back, instantly hooking my arm around his neck and yanking him towards me, pressing the muzzle of my gun to his temple.

“Don’t move.” I warned, getting their attention. They spun around with weapons up, but the moment that they saw me with a gun to one of their own, they faltered slightly. “Tell me, who are you? Raiders? Those ragtag asses who think that this is a good thing? Speak up, one of you, now!”

“We’re survivors.” One of them spoke up, his voice gravelly. He looked rougher than the rest of them, his dirty blonde hair up on end in the face of danger and his green eyes stern. “Now let my man go, or I swear to God-”

“You’ll what, tough guy?” I scoffed. “You’ll what?”

“You’ll be dead before you hit the ground.”

“Try me.” I growled, pressing the muzzle tighter to my captive’s head. “I dare you.”

“Pretty thing’s got lip on her.” One man scoffed, but one glare from me shut him up.

“Pretty little thing’s got a gun and one of your men, so better keep your mouth shut.”

“Who even are you?” The gravel-voice dude spoke up, a frown creasing his forehead. I looked him in the eye, my gaze steely.

“None of your damn business.” I replied aggressively, my finger tightening on the trigger.“Who’s askin’?”

“Dean Winchester, now let my soldier go, damnit!” I put the gun down, releasing his teammate as I decided that these guys could be ok. Then his teammate spotted the claw cut on my arm, and all hell broke loose.

“SHE’S INFECTED!” He yelled, and as all of them raised their guns to shoot me, I held out my hands in surrender, panic striking me for a moment.

“WOAH, HOLD ON, I’M IMMUNE!” I shouted, panting heavily. “I’M IMMUNE, OK?! I’m… clean.”

“You’d need to be some psychic freak in order to be immune.” Dean Winchester frowned, stepping forward and raising his gun, pointing it at me. “What kind are you? Actually, I shouldn’t even be asking that, cause all the psychic jackasses turned out to be whacked out of their gourds. What says you ain’t?”

“This entire graveyard is my doin’.” I reasoned, gesturing to the Croat’s bodies. “All me. I don’t know how I got my powers and why, but I’ll tell you one thing for damn sure and it’s that it’s kept me alive out here.” I paused to chuckle nervously. “Look, restrain me if you have the stuff to, but there’s no way in hell I’m stayin’ out here.” They took a moment to think, then Winchester pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his utility belt. My eyebrows twitched, a small smirk on my face as he did so. “Damn, you have them on you, you kinky son of a-”

“Put them on.” He ordered while handing them over, his gun pointing to the cuffs then back to my face. I scoffed, laughing a bit as I clasped it over one wrist.

“Chivalry is dead, I see.” I snapped it over the other wrist, then held my bound wrists up for the other men. “Mysterious girl, bound so she can’t hurt you guys. What a relief. Now, uh, are we gonna book it or what?” I was promptly taken by the arm by Winchester, but I snatched my arm out of his grip with a grimace. “I can do it myself, we have no need for the manhandling type of chivalry.” I stepped up onto the Jeep, flopping down onto a seat as the rest of them got in. Winchester sat down in front of me, gun trained on me by chance I made a move. “Chill, Manchurian Candidate, I’m not gonna bust the spirit of Chuck Norris out and start kicking your ass on a moving car while handcuffed, I’m not stupid.”

He just stared at me.

“Alright, we’re gonna keep doin’ this until you give me a name, you hear me?” Winchester growled, and I shrugged, leaning back against my chair.

“And I think we’ll be here a while. Screw. You.” I retorted, obviously aggravating him as he ran a hand through his hair, glaring back at me.

“I told you my name, why won’t you tell me yours?!”

“I can’t trust you!”

“I saved your ass!”

“Oh, hell no, I saved my ass.” I scoffed. “Like I have been since this thing started. You’d have blown my head off otherwise.” He opened his mouth to contradict, but I shot him a look. “Don’t lie to me, I know what people look like when they’re on the verge of killin’ someone. How do I know? I see that goddamn face every day, sometimes in the mirror. M’not that easy to fool, Winchester.” I chuckled cynically, shaking my head. “Idjit.”

The look on his face changed, and he picked up his gun and held it to my forehead. “Where did you get that?!”

“The hell is wrong with you-”

He grabbed my face with one hand, forcing it up roughly. “WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?!”

“My uncle used to say it, goddamn it!” I snapped. “I don’t know where he is, but we were separated in Sioux Falls.”

“Bobby.” Winchester whispered, and quickly let go of my chin, swallowing and looking away. “You’re Ivonne Rainer.”

“Not even gonna apologise?” I scoffed. “Well, I figured you wouldn’t.”

“He talked about you. Bobby.” He scanned me for a moment with something close to bitterness. “My dad did too. John Winchester. Came home one day when I was fifteen talking about the daughter of his hunting partner Michael Rainer, who’d showed up on a vamp hunt to help exterminate a nest in Louisiana. Bobby said you were one of the best hunters he’d known. That you?”

“Sounds like me.” I nodded. “John Winchester, yeah, I remember him. Real pompous ass.”

“Watch what comes out of that mouth of yours.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“At this point, you’re askin’ to be slapped.”

“But you won’t.” I smirked, obviously provoking him further. He got up close in my face, teeth gritted.

“I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your brain, you hear me? You’re just one more arrogant dumbass, you don’t mean anything to me. Besides, how’re you planning to fight back? You ain’t in no state to fight, not cuffed, so cut the attitude.”

“Might want to rethink that last statement.” I held up my hands, showing that I was free as the cuffs dropped from my wrists. He stared at the fallen handcuffs, shocked as I sharply pushed him back, standing up and rubbing the chafed skin where the cuffs once were. “What, think I can’t handle myself?” I tilted my head, smirking a bit. Then my gaze went to his gun, and my eyes glowed blue, the clip falling out as I flicked my hand down and zooming into my hand. Winchester stared at me again, his eyes flicking back to his gun occasionally as he tried to process what I’d just done. “Look, man, I ain’t no psycho. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have, no questions asked.”

“You spared me?” He scoffed, looking disbelieving.

“Bet your ass I did.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Then don’t.” I shrugged, looking him in the eye. “Cause I don’t give a damn whether you do or not. I care about survivin’. Actually livin’. And me being honest, I’m one of the last people left on earth who can actually protect all of you.”

“I just need you to stay out of my goddamn way.” He growled, fists clenched.

“Then… fine.” I raised my hands in mock surrender as I started retreating to the flap. “Like I said, don’t give a damn.” I dropped the clip of his gun, leaving.

Dean stared the spot where I just was, his teeth gritted before he slammed the table, yelling out.

“DAMN IT!”

[xxgothchatonxx]

Also, Joey is way stronger than I ever could be cos if someone kissed my hand like this

(good lord, that stare...)

I'd melt like an Icy Pole in the middle of January.