argonluvr

[argonluvr]

To all Batman/Batfam/Gotham related story fanfic writers not very familiar with the state of New Jersey,

Hello! First of all, I'd like to start by saying that all of the advice I give is optional! I just know that I like writing with as much accuracy to the pre existing details as possible, so here I am providing some local knowledge for those who want it!

1. We aren't allowed to (as in, it's illegal) to pump our own gas. Gas stations in Nj are unique; we have workers who are in charge of filling up our cars with gas. Even motorcyclists aren't permitted to do so. If you have a gas station in your story and want a bit more detail, maybe work this in!

2. Gotham wouldn't have that stereotypical Jersey accent. The Jersey accent (similar to the New York accent) is native to the northern part of the state. Gotham is south of Atlantic City, and likely part of the water ice half of the state (as opposed to the italian ice half). Think more like Philly accents (wooder instead of water, tals instead of towels etc)

3. Ever hear of Wawa? Southern Jersey, Philly, and Delaware is in the lovely Wawa cult. You disrespect Wawa, you disrespect my entire childhood. I would absolutely die if someone included a Wawa in a fic. Used to have some of the best hoagies on the planet, swear on my mother. Not always a gas station either; sometimes they'll have street corner marts. It's awesome.

4. I know Gotham has its own sports team, I know! But... It could be pretty fun to make the Gotham Wildcats (the football team) and the Gotham Knights (the baseball team) as much of a cult as the Philadelphia Eagles/Phillies. If South Jersey fans are already ripping light poles out of the ground for a team that's not even in our state, imagine how batshit (ha) they'd get for their own teams! Also, I was in Philly for the superbowl win and let me tell you. It was magical. I only feared for my life like ten times!

5. Finally, the weather. We have this lovely thing called inclement weather. Summers average at a very humid 90-105°F (think wet blanket hot) and dry winters with wind chills as low as 0°. We graduate from tanks to hoodies at like 65° in the summer to fall transition, and from jackets to t-shirts at 40° in the winter to spring transition. We're well rounded like that.

I personally love when little bits of info like this is dropped in a fic. Once I finish this semester and have the time to write, you bet your ass I'll be writing beautifully crafted Jersey Gotham fics for all to read and enjoy.

Also, a good quarter of the people I know or see around Jersey rep Italian flag merch. No Italian slander is tolerated within this border, lest you wish to be curb stomped by a short, angry, greasy haired mechanic named Joey. A Joey gets all the bitches. We all love a Joey. A Joey sent my Mommom a get well soon card with two hundred dollars worth of Italian cheeses and a cheap bottle of wine. They're great people, Joeys. Man I miss Jersey.

Sincerely,

A South Jersey Native

[argonluvr]

Tim "won't end you but will end your bloodline" Drake:

[argonluvr]

"Pick your jaw up off the floor, Damian. It's unbecoming of a Wayne."

[argonluvr]

all i want is one nice and long batfam tim centric where jason doesn't call him replacement. that is all i want. you would THINK those wouldn't be hard to find.

i got through a beautifully written 4k story story and guess what the second to last dialogue was??? JASON MOTHERFUCKING TODD CALLING TIM REPLACEMENT. I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND IT. STOP DOING THIS TO MEEEEEE

[argonluvr]

tbh my favourite dynamic for jaytim is the whole "i'm the dog they put in with the cheetah to prevent it going crazy" and "i'm the cheetah threatening to go crazy" except jason thinks he's the cheetah and tim is the dog but it becomes rapidly apparent at time goes on that tim is the cheetah and jason has to desperately wrangle him from destroying things he shouldn't

[argonluvr]

[reverse robins au] you know when kids say things and you don't take them seriously. well,

[argonluvr]

*rubs hands together, slams palms on table*

Okay, you guys heard of “Jason inherited the adoption problem and now Tim is baby”, now get ready for…

Reverse!Robins, where Jason tries to steal from newly minted crime lord Tim and gets flash adopted before Batman can claim another one for his child soldier team!

[argonluvr]

hear me out.

timkom fic, literally any storyline you want, but instead of clark being kon's dad, he's seen as kon's older brother (as often implied by dc). ofc there's still a major age difference but even then, the dynamic would be soooo different!!

add in a little superbat, and suddenly the dynamics are super weird (could be fun to write!)

like, tim tells bruce he's dating kon a few months after getting together, and bruce just kind of looks at tim in horror and admits he's been seeing clark for a while too. tim's sitting there overthinking, things like 'omfg if we both marry our partners what would that make us? if clark becomes my stepdad, then that would make kon my uncle 😰'

bruce is also sitting there, he too overthinking. 'if we both marry our partners then tim would become my brother-in-law... or kon would become my son-in-law, and clark would become my nephew-in-law???'

meanwhile, kon is still kind of pissed at clark for being a shitty and absent brother-figure from when he first escaped lex, and now he went and made the family dynamic even weirder.

idk i haven't seen this dynamic on ao3 AT ALL but i also have a shit ton of work to do so i can't write atm... i need someone to satisfy this itch for me pretty please <3

[argonluvr]

Talon Dick, tiny Talon Tim, and an all too human Jaybird. Lost but together.

[argonluvr]

Tim walking into the dining room: Oh B, i just realized, happy 5 years sober, I am really proud of you.

Bruce, small smile and sipping his tea: Thank you Tim.

Dick, looking up confused from his bowl of cereal: What? Sober? Weren't you drinking last night at the gala?

Bruce, brows furrowed: Not from alcohol, Chum.

Tim, after downing his cup of coffee: Damn you didn't know? It was cocain. B was on that booger sugar.

Bruce, making a face: Please, never call it that again.

Dick, after his brain rebooted: You...you did cocain?

Bruce sighing :Yes I did...I though you knew.

Dick, abandoning his bowl of cereal: No, no I very much didn't! How did you...like get into that?

Tim: Dick take it down a notch, please? Bruce has been clean for years.

Bruce, shaking his head: It's fine Tim, I should have been more up front with this to the others.

Dick, with his head tilted and still a bit upset: Others? You mean only Tim knew?

Bruce, nodding: He caught me taking a key from one of Penguins supply when he was Robin and forced me to confess, I went to rehab a week later.

Dick, sitting back down in a stupor: Wait...You mean the thing when you were gone for like a few months? I thought you were on a deep space mission with the league! Hell, Uncle Clark even said so!

Bruce, wincing: Y-Yes...I was in a treatment center in Sweden...Tim found them and signed me up without telling me, and had Clark take me there...

Bruce side eyeing Tim: Took my Kryptonite before doing so...and my stash.

Tim, unapologetic, shrugging: Mom used the same place when she was getting off of Quaaludes.

Bruce, shrunching his nose: Never did like downers, made it harder to think.

Dick, having a mental breakdown: So you just...did drugs? For like a while? When did this even start?

Bruce, silent for a while, moving his breakfast around for a moment: It started when I was about...16? When I was in the club scene for a bit I got wild, taking pills and such that I didn't need, it was the 80s, blow was all the rage with the youth in higher circles and...well one thing lead to another and I got hooked.

Dick, holding his head in his hands: Oh my God...Wait.. Were you actively doing drugs when you adopted me???

Bruce, groaning: Yes...Didn't it ever seem strange that sometimes I was very lively and then suddenly was practically dead an hour later before getting back to lively?

Dick, horror coming across his face: Oh my God the signs...

Tim, chuckling: B was a God damn drug fiend, practically snorted half of Columbia.

Bruce, looking scandalized: Tim! I was not that bad...

Tim staring at Bruce:

Bruce staring back:

Bruce, sighing: Fine yes it was that bad.

Dick: uninhorant screeching

Bruce, tsking: I quit a few years after taking you in Chum, I only relapsed when Jason...temporarily passed...and that was only for at most a year, Tim found me out, sent me to rehab and while I have had a few scares, I have been sober for years.

Dick: Happy for you, really but holy fuck.

Tim, snorting: It wasn't the first time I caught you B, imagine little old 10 year old me following Batman and Robin and stumbling across the Dark Knight of Gotham doing a line on a gargoyle while Robin beat the shit out of the dealers below.

Dick, agape: Really Bruce? Do you even remember that?

Bruce, Blushing: i...may have done that more than once...

Dick, crying on the inside: BRUCE?!

Jason, walking in with a smoothie: Oh what are we yelling at B for? I want in.

Dick, wildly pointing at Bruce: BATMAN DID COCAIN.

Jason, slowly taking a drag from his smoothie, before turning to Bruce: w h a t?

Bruce, hiding his face in his hands, sullenly: I trained you all better than this. Yes I did drugs, I am 5 years sober.

Jason, softly putting his smoothie down before walking over to Bruce and patting his shoulder: Proud of you for that, like actually good job, holy shit that is hard. But also WHAT THE FUCK.

Bruce, sighing hard: I thought you all knew...

Jason flopping down in a chair, counting on his fingers: Wait a God damn minute, you got on my case for smoking while doing cocain!

Bruce, dead panned: it's a gate way to much harder things.

Jason, squinting: Who are you D.A.R.E?

Tim, cackling: he was! Did a whole speech about it! Full Batman regalia and was talking about how weed is bad!

Bruce glaring lightly at Tim: It is! It can cause lung damage, a build up of black tar in the lungs and can dull your mind when you are in a tike of crisis!

Jason, rolling his eyes: B, Shut the fuck up you did cocain.

Bruce, sighing yet again: You really are not letting that go are you...

Tim, sipping his coffee: Think of it like this, there is a reason B was able to get back to fighting like a week after Bane broke his back.

Bruce, pursing his lips,: Not the time Tim.

Tim, grinning evilly: Oh no, it is very much the time, I have been waiting till the others knew...I have so many blackmail stories....and pictures

Bruce, a look of true fear on his face: Oh God no...

[argonluvr]

[argonluvr]

just saw this in a batfam fic. oh, the irony.

maybe mr luigi was a fan of batfam fics. maybe he read this and thought, oh, the irony.

[argonluvr]

"Be still, Drake."

[argonluvr]

uhhh. bruce wayne modelling gig. have a good day 🥰

[argonluvr]

i saw this trend going around but i am a chronic ghost scroller and have no presence. i too wish to be heavily judged on my music taste. please vote on my songs. i'll even give you a lil peck in thanks. if i can find you. i will find you. you will be pecked.

[argonluvr]

Jason, to himself: If I can catch Tim off guard when he comes back from patrol he'll confess about breaking my favourite Wonder Woman's mug

Jason, as Tim wanders in: Got anything to confess??

Tim, very very high off Gotham Harbor fumes: Ra's pickled my spleen.

[argonluvr]

teen titans go animators you are NOT invited to my red hood themed costume party >:(

but they do give him justice here