#It's truly so inspiring :D My favourite!

[sysig]

2024 Purge (Part 3)

A whole Three-Parter for 2024! Damned very completely took over my brain and I made so many many doodles about it haha <3 Also ft. Helix and SCII generally, and a few other cursory Damned-style things :)

Little mini ZEX walk cycle from his Kissing Strangers meme ♥ He’s so cute, wobbling around on these weird new legs, not used to using these stiff arms to assist him back up!

Floorplans!! Of the Vyer Estate, I unfortunately don't know the layout/room configuration of estates or mansions very well haha, so I kinda just guessed at what kind of structure the house would have - I could've looked up blueprints, but the foyer is such a strong image in my head that every other room kind of fell off around it lol - though I still oscillate between seeing the stairs in the frontmost room or to the sides, hmm

Many many speculations, including the outer spaces, yard out front and in back, what all is within their fencing, if its built on a slab or foundation, if there's a crawlspace or cellar or full basement, ahh, so many possibilities! You can see in the left full-view I mistakenly put Dex's room on the first floor lol, both his and Max's room are explicitly described as being upstairs, on a separate floor from the kitchen. Very important! But where is the master bedroom...? The two on the right are kind-of both of the same thing; the platform at the top of the foyer double stairs, and the room beneath it that leads outside to the back garden - I moved the dining room around here and there, it would be nice to open up the back doors and have a dinner party able to go in and out I think :)

Going a bit more granular, made some temps for Max's room specifically - he hangs out there a lot, it's important! Even pulled out my grid paper for this one haha, fun to have an actual floorplan kind of look with tile-spaced everything! Very Sims, quite fun. I do like the idea of him having a window seat, but he's also described as standing in front of his windows so that probably wouldn't be the Only type he'd have hmm

On the topic of the Sims, I ended up making the three mockups in the Sims 2 as well! I do like this one - I was especially surprised that Max was even able to get to the bed! I thought the dresser would be in the way but no, it’s all walkable :D Very pleased. Not fully satisfied with the placement of his en suite tho, would it encroach into his room itself, or be tucked into a wall...? I kind of like that idea of that :0

The double bay windows is maybe a bit much, but I mean. Idle rich lol. At one point he’s looking out the window and then backs Dex up against a wall, but Which wall hmmm, must align room layout with seduction attempts, very important

Switching entirely over, you might remember the card I posted of Stanley, and the small mention of having made a matching card for the Narrator... I may have made significantly more than just that lol, I can't help it!! The Damned structure is wonderfully made, it invites creative speculation and idea generation at a nearly alarming rate! I commend the game builders for their craft. So I made a bunch of the faces I'd want to see at the institute lol, I love duos the most-most, so picking a pair from several of my favourite pieces of media was just ahh! Yes!

Apaultheosis and Emma seemed like a particularly fun match :D Would that make Paul his "real" counterpart...? I mean, it says Matthew right there lol, but would he just act like Paul? Would be doubly weird if Paul-proper showed up while the Apotheosis was out swanning around haha, Apaultheosis really seems like the right level of "belongs in an institute" to have a lot of fun with :) And if it's my immune-Emma AU in particular, Emma's already used to having to be around a bunch of weirdos haha

The LAC boys!!! ♥ Making everyone's little background was a lot of fun too - yellow for the TSPs, blue splotches for the Hatchetfield duo, little devil trappings for these two :D Such fun! It was also very fun to write up everyone's little personalities in simple phrasing, really break them all down to their core characterizations haha. Helps with not pushing them too far one way or another too! Would they do any given thing because [trait]? S'fun!

Weird Duo, the Watchers pulled from And the Universe Shifts - the explorations of villains having to put up being on the same side as/having to get along with heroes really makes for an interesting examination of how they'd go about doing that! These two are still absolutely insufferable, but they're also trying to escape! It's interesting :0 Also casual headcanon of how the institute would deal with enby/trans characters, possibly something I've had a lot of thoughts about lol

Last fanduo from the first batch - all of these were made over the course of like, two days, if that lol, I was very excited about this idea - I genuinely love how anime/JRPG characters are usually given fake names also in Japanese, it's very fun :D I only did so halfway for Nova's since she's only ever had the one kind of anglicized personal name, no family name - could she also be a kid from Jersey? Such mysteries haha. She also probably wouldn't have her hair clips during the day unfortunately :P But I couldn't resist drawing them, she's not her without them! The Watchers get their masks, give my girl her barrettes!

Back to Helix, more short-haired Max! I do like this one but I also thought the pose was silly so I held off on it haha, he looks cute with short hair! <biased towards Max generally

Another one that was too silly to put anywhere haha, ZEX being attacked by an invisible Kayako - Teisel is very confused at your inexplicable reactions, Admiral!

Normally I wouldn't post my studies, partially because they're mostly for my own benefit, to better understand how to draw a character, and also because I am usually very ❤️💕💖💞💗 in my commentary lol, as evidenced. I was excited to see him!! Especially in the institute uniform!!! <3 I'd doodled him a couple times as such but Seeing it, ahh <3 <3 So cute, wonderful ♪♫

Max! Another half-study, frog mouthed boy <3 Goofy floofy lad, love him <3

And another! This time of him being teary-mad, gosh he's adorable no matter what he's up to

Hehe <3 A particularly silly one in reaction to Dexter having arm-pinned him on the floor - how different certain things look in hindsight, through the lense of a crush, hm?

Talanaaaa ♪ In actuality she removed her shirt, but how cute would it have been to tie it up at her side instead ahhh

Lovestruck Zelnick, totally listening, mmhm <3

The silliness continues! Was thinking about the little pink bits at the end of VUX tendrils and how I've sometimes seen them speculated as also being little tongues? I'm still not sure what I think about it! It is good and potentially creepy I think, but would they taste? Would they be as dexterous? Hmmm, thoughts thoughts

A dandelion for the sunshine Captain <3

There he is! The sunniest boy of them all! Sweetest sweet lad ♥ Love him :)

Speculating ZEX plushie stuff still - going over the construction of his uniform, possibly as part of his body, possibly as something to dress him in so he can be fitted into other clothes as well :0 I'm still considering the tail slot, but probably only for uniform-as-body - otherwise, laying his tunic overtop his tail would probably be the easiest all the way around. I do like VUX with short tails too tho, hmm, how to make it visible... On the right are a few more detail ideas :D Different eye styles, what would be embroidered vs. sewn together etc. - I considered felt medals and badges, but I really think embroidery would have the prettiest result! Even my notes say so haha, that and where to put weighted pellets in place of fluffy stuffing :)

Speaking of plush 👀 Ahem

An alternate Strawberry Blond panel, ZEX pulling him up fully to look at him hhh I love him <3

And also touching him a bit, what is this feeling DAX is feeling! ZEX has some ideas :3c Though when doesn't he lol

More DAX expressions! Angy and owie, they do tend to go hand-in-hand, poor lad got well-knocked around and he still ended up the least injured of the three!

Rando icons, I can't help myself ♪ This uniform has its hooks in me, is it the ominous smiley face's bright yellow on boring grey, the contrast, the sameness?? I just like it! Was a fun small and simple thing to pull together :)

I actually started this set somewhat early on, speculating what DAX's MU scene might be, but never ended up with anything solid - since he wasn't there initially, it's hard to think of what would be a fitting torture for him, apart from what Was there i.e. having to watch what ZEX went through :( That does seem like it'd leave some pretty massive mental scars on him - always always always unable to save him in the moments where it really counts! :'0 But it doesn't do anything to his Body, and that's supposed to be the point of MU! I do still like many things here, DAX's offer of self-sacrifice being rejected and him being powerless to do anything else

And the way I used hashmarks to imply his eyes going fuzzy with them both open and the stress - looks like a pause symbol haha

Also a big fan of the little corner doodle being so cute and wholesome, the two of them excitedly circling each other, excited to see each other! I love-loved that so much in their meeting <3 <3

Then there was that one time DAX and DAX met, that was fun :) If only ZEX had shown up, then what would DAX do! Self-defense in a way hehe, that's one way of getting on the same side haha

The raw doodle that eventually became Get Out of the Way! For as sad a way as it was to go out - failing to be protected, the last of his allies, not even able to wield his own weapon effectively - it does still remind me of a silly quote. Those dogs were indeed very nasty!

A temp doodle of Dexter holding both Max's clothes and ZEX's uniform after his "discharge" (;;) from the institute, the only things he has left to hold onto 💔 So very little left of him :(

I at one point asked smol who she’d put in the institute for funsies and she picked Maison Talo, and so I tossed Apaultheosis at him - they do both consider humans as prey! Just, a bit differently lol. Would the Apotheosis even be able to convert a Realtor by their lure? Where does the goo need to be to start to take effect, many questions

Stanley Icons <3 It's only fitting that my first choice for a card gets his own set of reactions! Icons like these are actually really fun to make - pulling around from my doodles, slapping a bit of colour overtop, edits to screenshots (Stanley's "Dead" reaction is probably my favourite of those, I'm sure y'all can guess which ending I pulled from lol) - and it all has me tempted to make a few more...

Back to Just-SCII! More Baby VUX!! 💖 They're so cute!!! Just little guys, adorable <3 Casual clothing and PJs and having to tie one's sash back on haha, all those complicated loops and knots :)

Also some muscle/arm shape speculations of how VUX armtips might change based on what they're doing, the roundedness of recoiling is very funny to me haha

Obviously had to make these two's versions in TS2 as well, the most fun <3 “What brings you in today, Mr. Vargas?” “That’s doctor.” “Oh, sure, right.”

More of the Doctor meme! Poor DAX haha, certainly sick with Something ♪

I think the lyric is “three times a day”? But what three times a day, that's the real question lol. ZEX has his own suggestions hmm :) I do like their hug in the first one hehe, so cute <3

Totally all better! Definitely nothing would make his symptoms flare up again!

Poor DAX <3

Digitized Dr. Doran! He really is so tiny haha, it was fun using Wander's colour scheme, mostly filled out already! The institute's dress code for staff is a mystery; presumably some of the therapists wear medical/professional clothes, but then there's Stein who still has the screw in his head - surely they'd allow jeans, right? Or is that where they draw the line lol. Look it's fine, he's meant to be the Approachable Therapist, he gets special allowances, totallyyy

All two Locked In doodles that didn't make the cut but also have nowhere else to go lol - there’s a few dozen concept sketches that haven’t been written into complete scenes yet that I'd love to post as their own sets! At some point!! Poor Oz is so put out, and Leah's big goofy grin, very silly hehe - that one's just meant to show off her outfit! It's winter, no bare legs here!

As a bonus to make up for those being the only two doodles, here’s Ozzy and Thrax in TS2 failing to get along lol. Oz! You're not good enough friends for that yet! Will they get there someday? :3c

VUX snuggles <3 Love the them so very much ♥

This is one I really want to digitize to get them a little more cosplay-accurate, but I'd been going back through some nostalgic AMVs and had the sudden realization that KuroFai, being one of my fairly early/influential ships on my heart, and now they...

Fai even loses an eye, I jfdlskafdlhfdf

Finishing out with my last set of cards, I had to make the two leads from SAOA, truly a masterwork in abridging <3 They're just such fun characters! And it's not like they're not already used to being trapped somewhere that constantly risks their lives :'0 I love them, I swear! Good things for them!

[yamysunmoon]

Insomnia

Pairing: jenna x fem!reader (princess's reward universe)

Summary: Jenna usually struggles with her sleep hygiene. Your raspy, teasing voice seems to soothe her.

Word count: 3371

Warnings: smut +18, sexphone, d/s dynamic(dom!reader, sub!jenna), strong language, begging, praise.

a/n: the middle photo on the cover was edited by @jybyls, this fic is inspired by it

MASTERLIST

Dating a celebrity isn't as easy as people might think.

There's definitely some glam, flashes and cameras, but there's also a lot of time lost, days being apart from the one you love and cherish the most.

There are days where it's bereable, but there are other days... Specially nights, where the lack of her body next to yours feels like the greatests of agonies.

Once again, Jenna is busy attending to premieres and events on the other side of the country, painting a polite smile on her face, offering clever answers to sharp questions, but her eyes shine with yearning and deep hankering for you.

You stalk the socials of her team members whenever she takes long to reply to your messages, which has been the typical thing to expect these past days.

You've always found endearing how she desperately needs you, yet remains being the worst texter ever.

Your phone buzzles interrupting your train thought. A warm smile spreads on your lips as soon as you read the name on the screen.

It's a snapchat of your favourite girl. Your smile widens when you stare at the picture; pupils capturing every detail of her beautiful face.

Her skin looks soft under the dim light; full parted lips tempting you, hooded eyes you've stared at too many times. Not enough.

The strands of hair that crown her temples and sides of her face make you wanna take a plane right now and fly wherever she is, doesn't matter how long it would take you; doesn't matter how far.

She has this effect on you— always.

You always. Want her.

You take a picture of yourself mirroring her angle, adding some emojis: "🫡🫡🫡🫡"

She sends you laughing emojis, "hurry up, dumbass." You smirk, knowing damn well you made her smile.

The call beeps two times before she picks up.

"Hey" she breaths out, her voice sounding husky and soft, given the hour.

"Hey. You sound tired" you press the phone against your ear as you scoot back on the bed, leaning back onto the headboard.

The rustling of your blankets distract her for a moment, it takes her some seconds to reply.

"Well, it's 3 in the morning" she gently jokes. "But I am" she admits in that low, breathy voice. "Today work was a lot, and now I can't sleep..." She sighs, truly frustrated by the situation.

You ask her about her day, why was it 'a lot', what did she find challenging on set. Eventhough she's exhausted, her voice gains a different hint, almost excitement, as she explains you everything she went through today.

As she keeps talking, you notice a definite change in her tone. She slowly begins to sound like herself again. The passionate, playful, beaming Jenna.

A soft smile appears on your lips as she keeps yapping. You ask occasionally, but it really doesn't take her long to be comfortable and cheerful enough to just talk and talk. It looks like it was a good day really, just very challenging and energy-consuming.

"So what about you? How was your day?" She sounds much cheerful now.

Your smile widen, and you go on and tell her about your day. After some minutes speaking, you pause and sigh deeply. "I thought about you all day, though. Just couldn't get you out of my head."

You can hear how her breath hitches. She inhales sharply through her nostrils, and dares to ask. "Why was that?"

You let out a breathy, relaxed chuckle. You can hear the shift in her breathing; how your ease, the relaxed way in which you're carrying the conversation, is trapping her.

"Because" you state simply. But you know what you have started. You know she now wants more.

"Because, what?" She inquires, her voice casually playful. But it's also trembling; hiding the true intoxication behind her words. She's eager.

You hum, as if thinking about it. Laying more comfortably in your bed, you speak again. "Well, there was a moment today at work where someone said a joke, and I remembered how you always find a way to be so sarcastically funny. And then I remembered how you joke when you tease me, and well... One thing led to another..."

She listens intently, and she's already asking again when you've barely pronounced your words. "One thing led to another? How so?"

You smirk, she can hear the little playful puff that escapes your lips. "Thinking about that... Led to thinking about you in a different way."

You pause, and this time she remains silent, waiting.

"Led to your lips on mine. Those soft lips, murmuring trembling pleas. Led to your legs around my waist, your thighs squeezing my sides. Led to the quiver in your hips when you struggle to hold back. Led to your shiny, beautiful hair fanned out across the pillow."

You stop again, taking a moment to let your words sink in. Your heart is slammering against your chest, and your breath is ragged now, shallow.

She's gripping her phone tightly, as in trying to absorb your words. She loves it when you talk like this, so poetic yet erotic.

"What else?" she breathes out in a thin voice.

You inhale, slowly, the air filling your lungs. She flutters her eyes close, hearing you breath. She pictures you on top of her, she can almost feel your warm breath fanning the side of her neck.

"The thoughts kept coming" you resolve dryly, but there's a smile tugging at the sides of your lips. You want her to insist.

"Oh, come on" she complains, falling for it. "You can't just practically serenade me and then just... Leave me like this" the last phrase comes out softly, almost a shy murmur.

You arch an eyebrow. "Like this?" You repeat, teasing.

She huffs, knowing what you're doing. "Yes, 'like this'..." She rolls her eyes a bit, although you can't see it, you can imagine it by her exasperated tone. "You know what I mean" she adds in that husky, low voice.

"I know what you mean?" You ask again, wanting to tease her even further. "..."

"Yes!" She interrupts you as you're about to speak again. "Yes" she repeats, softer. "You know how I get when you talk that way" she explains in that soft, vulnerable voice of hers. "I get all... Funny. You know what I mean." She repeats herself, which makes her huff in frustration. "Just... Just keep going, please. Please."

You grin, amused by how easily she has let down her barriers and expressed her needs. "Well, if you ask so nicely..." You murmur, letting her know she acted like you wanted her to.

"So, where was I... Oh yeah. Yeah. Your body under mine" you introduce, your voice playful and hoarse, soft yet raspy.

She shifts restless in her bed, you can hear her moving. "Are you laying down?"

She gulps, you've catched her. "Yes" she admits, hesitating. "Can... Can I?" She asks, so beautifully pliant.

A bigger grin paints your lips. "Yes, princess. You can definitely lie down" you concede, benevolent.

She shivers at the nickname, enjoying every second of it slipping through your lips. She bites her own lip, picturing how you'd nibble it if you were with her right now.

"Okay, so... Your body. I was all day thinking about your body, about you. I was thinking about you laying down for me, just like you're doing right now. And I was thinking about... My hand on your skin, just below your beautiful breasts."

You pause, and you don't even have to tell her. You know she has already placed her free hand right where you have indicated, her hand laying languidly below her boobs. "What else?"

Her voice has grown higher, in her most feminine range. You love it when she sounds like that.

"I pictured my hand roaming up and down over your abdomen. Fingertips grazing softly all over there, drawing lazy circles, iddle patterns."

Your voice is like a vice for her, like a spell that gets into her brain and tells her what to do. She explores herself in the way you're describing, her fingers splayed out on her abdomen, grazing skin, goosebumps appearing everywhere she touches, her eyes shut imagining it's your hand instead of hers.

"Then I picture you naked, and I picture your cunt, princess."

She gasps loudly, snapping her eyes open. The blunt term dripping down your lips so casually surprises her, blush creeping up her cheeks. She shifts, rubbing her thighs together, both outraged and excited.

"You... Do you... Really?" She stammers weakly.

You lick your lips, making sure she hears the slight click of your tongue before you speak.

"Oh yes. Definitely."

She has to catch her breath for a second. "And what... What is it about it, exactly?" She manages to ask, struggling to find the words.

But you know what she means. You know exactly what she means.

"Hmm... Everything about it, princess" you tease, testing that word in your mouth once again. "It's about its touch, its smell, its taste... Damn, even how it looks. Everything, sweetheart."

Her hand is still grazing absently, trailing inches lower with each word you whisper.

"I miss tracing your slit with my fingers. Your wetness coating my digits... How you'd whimper when I press a little—, how your lips would spread open, an offer in the form of a flower, all for me to survey."

She lets out one of those so said whimpers, this one is breathy and soft. Her voice cracks, and she tries to silence herself, failing misserably. Her hips pull up, seeking friction she's not allowing herself just yet.

You let out a quiet giggle, knowing damn well what you're doing. "You wanna remember how it feels, baby?"

She nods fervently, whining quietly. "Y-yes" she whispers, her voice already thick from holding back the impeding need.

You swallow, your own center throbbing with her needy whimpers and soft moans hitting your ear.

"Do it, then" you murmur, "touch yourself."

She nods again, feeling stupid because she knows you can't see her, but her vast vocabulary is reduced to stifled moans and quiet pleas when it comes to you.

She pulls her pajama shorts and underwear down, revealing her bare self waist down. "I've taken off my pants and underwear" she lets you know in a thick, trembling voice.

"Good" you praise, voice low; pleased. "That's very good, princess. I bet you look incredibly sexy right now."

"Oh, stop it" she retorts, blushing a little. "How can you... How can you describe how you love my pussy, and then call me beautiful?"

"Those can coexist perfectly" you quip, chuckling slightly.

She rolls her eyes playfully, getting comfortable. "Anyways..." She sighs, placing her hand on her abdomen again.

You let out a playful huff, but resume. "I was talking about my hand on your cunt. So now you should put yours there." You suggest in a tantalizing tone.

She complies,her hand trailing down. She grazes her mound, fingertips tracing the V shape, until she reaches lower. "What now?" She whispers, expectant.

"Now... I want you to picture how I'd touch you. How I'd trace your slit with two fingers, up and down, deliberately slow."

She chokes a whimper as she does what you say. Normally she's be much sloppy with herself. She'd please herself carelessly quickly and call it a day.

But you don't touch her like that.

And you're telling her to touch herself in a very specific way. A way she's gonna mirror obediently.

"I want your pretty fingers applying a bit of pressure, and I want you to spread your legs, princess. I want you to spread like you would if I was there."

She gulps, then tilts her head up and parts her lips, gasping quietly as she pushes her legs to the sides, spreading. She looks down with hooded eyes, staring at the spot before her where you'd be.

"I want your fingers lower, baby. Circle your entrance."

She slides her fingers, reaching down to her entrance. She massages there, feeling herself getting wetter under her pads.

"How does it feel?" You breath out, a bit eager than intended.

"It feels... Warm. And... Slick." She whispers. "Can I go a bit faster?" She asks, her voice going higher, her question sounding more like a plea.

You roll your eyes slightly in pure bliss. Her compliance, her way of asking for permission... Her sweet, charming submission. It's all too much for you sometimes. The way she wants your approval even for that.

"Babe?" She asks again, in a breathy moan.

You blink, reconnecting with the situation. "Yeah yeah. Yeah, princess, go faster." Then you pause, but decide to speak again, testing the waters. "I wanna hear."

She pauses her hand for a hot second, voice failing and dying in the back of her throat. "You want t-to hear?" She stammers, and then you hear her swallow.

"Yes" you affirm, nodding slowly, with a wry smile on your face. "Can you do that for me, princess? I'm sure you can" you use that scolding voice she secretly loves, that low, encouraging tone.

She'd do anything when you ask in that tone.

Like a snake dancing for her flutist, she resumes with the circling massage. This time, she uses more lenght of her fingers, and she draws bigger circles, making herself hiss and buck against her own hand.

And then you start to hear it.

Behind her soft panting and quiet whines, there's a wet noise, the squelching sound of friction. Your ear literally tickles, and you choke a groan in your throat.

"Holy shit... You're really wet, aren't you?"

She swallows hard and whines again, this time louder. "So much" she admits in an embarrassed, aroused high-pitched voice. "I... You're getting me... You... I'm soaking, baby..."

You throw your head back, panting heavily. You shift, laying on your stomach now, and you start to roll your hips against the mattess. Your breathing grows heavier as you find a pace, the friction providing some sort of relief.

She hears the movement on the other end of the line, and she frowns in curiousity and pleasure. "What are you doing?"

Her thin, sweet voice makes you buck harder. "I'm laying on my stomach" you pant out. "Rubbing against my bed."

You make her hiss with your confession, and you know she's speeding up because you can fucking hear it.

"Just how I would rub myself against your thigh if I were there" you add, licking your lips in anticipation to her reaction.

She moans, she moans loud now. She bites her lip, desperately trying to keep it cool. She rolls her hips more purposefully, and she whimpers, her clit throbbing with need.

"Touch higher" you order, rougher this time.

She whines in appreciation as she drifts higher, finding her needy bundle of nerves.

She's about to circle there too, but you stop her with a hum.

Stopping your own movements too, you make sure she hears every word you're naughtly murmuring.

"I want you to trace my initial there. Because, dearest... You're mine."

You can hear her gulp, her breath stuck in her throat. You can her the rustling of her head tilting back, lifting her chin, making her hair graze the sheets gracefully. You can almost her her forearm moving, her wrist twisting as she writes the initial of your name over her clit.

It's not necessarily pleasurable on a physical level, but it does something to her. Something profound that words can't explain.

"You're fucking killing me here" she whispers, almost daring to question your orders.

But she sounds cute when she complains after being so good. "Hmm, yeah? Does your clit hurt or something?" You tease once again.

She clicks her tongue, struggling not to snap. "No. Of course it doesn't fucking hurt..." She argues weakly. But the way in which her voice trembles at the end of the phrase makes you wonder. Because you were playing around, but there's a slight possibility...

"Don't lie to me." You scold dryly.

She squirms, pushing her legs together. "I'm not" she mutters. But then she shighs, helpless.

"It doesn't hurt like that, but..." Her fingers are hovering over her bud. "But it's getting fucking... Unbereable."

You smile smugly. She's very stubborn, and it's extremely rare that she admits how much she needs it when she needs it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask almost tenderly. All facade, of course.

She knows you too well, and she scoffs at your words. "You know. You fucking know."

"I do" you admit shamelessly. "But you're not gonna wank properly till I say so. Are you?" Your voice is playful.

You're making fun of her situation. In such an obvious, explicit way, that makes her both irritated and horny as intensely and equally.

"No" she admits, the word barely above a whisper. You love it when you get to push her buttons and she. still. obeys.

"And so if you want to touch yourself till you cum all over your fingers," you begin, relishing the stifled whimper she lets out as you speak "you'll have to fucking admit what you—"

"I fucking need it, okay?" She moans breathily, tracing your initial over her clit over and over again.

"I fucking need it a lot, please, come on. I've been so good, you know I've been good. And I'll be in the future. I swear. I swear, please, just let me..."

She keeps on pleading, begging so beautifully. Her needy whimpers and begs slip from her mouth, caressing your ears, tickling your brain, making you roll your eyes slightly, pull down your hips and curl your toes.

She pauses after a minute of desperate petition, any sign of dignity now fading away from her. Her face is heated and bright red, and her eyes are squeezed shut, feeling exposed and vulnerable, two things that would make her throw up in any other scenario, but make her want more when she acts like this with you.

She waits in an ironically impatient silence.

"Touch" you say, when she has almost lost hope. "Hard. Fast. Show off."

Those five words are exactly what she needed to hear. The teasing is over, and now it's her moment.

She bucks her hips wildly, uncontrollably, as she finally touches herself how she would normally, giving in to her deepest desires and hidden needs.

You rub against the mattress as you listen to her unbridled moans, high-pitched whines leaving her lips as she strokes herself fast, furiously almost.

She clenches her jaw, frustrated because she has to do this instead of you doing it for her, but also immensely stirred up by the circumstances that lead her to this.

She fucks herself with her fingers until she can't take it anymore. It's all written on her face, contorted in harsh pleasure and guilty pain, eyes shut so hard that a stray tear falls down her cheek.

"Can I...? Let me..." She pants out, feeling the pressure building rapidly and mercissely below her stomach.

You decide you've played her enough today. She's been your little toy to play with, the little puppet that does everything you want her to, as you want her to.

"Come now, princess, I've got you. It's okay" you murmur, your voice a bit muffled against your duvet. "Let me hear you."

She breaks. Her hips sttuter, she goes stiff for a moment before letting go a shuddering, sharp breath that becomes a satisfied whine as she relaxes, her body going limp under her own touch, which slows down to a stop.

You keep rolling your hips against the bed, eyes shut in bliss as you listen to her soft panting and ragged breath.

"That was so beautful, love. It's always a pleasure to hear you when you're like this."

Your voice is gentle, not teasing anymore. You're being serious now, tender.

She whines quietly. "Thank you" she murmurs in that high-pitched voice that drives you mad.

And you smirk. Because you know that comment got her feeling praised.

At the end of the day, all you want is to please her.

[glassblossomsthunderstorm]

Some of my favourite descriptive closed captions from this season of Dimension 20: Mentopolis

It's truly such a great season; filled with film noir tropes, that the Prefrontal PIs parody in the most hilarious way, but also inspired by the concept of Inside Out leading to incredibly touching moments, clever psychological/biological/sciency processes, oh and also so. many. puns! :D

[withered-blossoms]

SWEET DREAMS

This fic is entirely SFW.

General and trigger warning: mentions of taking one's life (metaphorically, a mere saying), mentions of kissing and nipping

Characs: Xiao from Genshin Impact only. Reader is gender-neutral.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

A/N: This has been in my drafts for months or maybe even a year, who knows? But I’ll just release it as a little birthday gift to myself and anyone who’d like this present. For more info on Xiao’s lore because some important info won’t be translated accurately or fully from Chinese to English, check out the post “Xiao's bird and dance symbolism: Lost in Translation” by Aloice on Reddit and my fic will make more sense! I also got the mythical and religious information from that post! (Link below)

If y’all are confused as to why Xiao’s character here is so “mellow” (compared to his voice in the EN dub) I’ll probably make a post on my views of his charac and discuss / talk about how I personally see him :D

The song recommendations in this post are to set the mood / to give y’all an insight on the songs I listened to and got inspiration from. Y’all might see more of such recommendations in my future fics so feel free to check them out via their links below!

Link to Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/mtn7u4/xiaos_bird_and_dance_symbolism_lost_in_translation/

Song recommendation for reading this post (English subtitles available):

坠落星空 (zhui luo xing kong) by 小星星 Aurora (xiao xing xing)

AKA Falling stars / Falling Into The Stars by Little Star Aurora

Link to song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEdm9x9mcW0

"Say, Xiao, what exactly do sweet dreams taste like??"

Cutting through the soothing silence with your voice was never your goal, but the curiosity burning within you had become unbearable, though it would seem that the male didn't mind having his peace disturbed.

Upon hearing the melodious sound, the yaksha turned his intense gaze away from the face of the mortal sitting beside him and raised his head as he tried his best to formulate a satisfactory answer to quench that thirst for knowledge. From your point of view though, it seemed like he was searching the moon for an answer.  

And you had to admit— the sight before you was breathtaking, to the point where you no longer wished for an answer, but rather for him to take his time in getting one.

"I would say that the taste of Almond Tofu bears the most resemblance." He muttered after a few moments of silence, letting his amber gaze land on your relaxed form.

You, despite not having your curiosity quenched, chose to settle for that answer. You do not wish to further stir up the memories he had let settle into the dust and put aside for as long as he could. And precisely because of that thoughtfulness reserved for him and only him, you never got to hear the last part of his answer. It did not help that the adeptus was too shy to let it slip past his lips, so it truly was a shame.

He had missed the best opportunity to let you know that even though the answer he gave you was one he’s held for centuries, it wasn’t until recently that it had changed to ‘you’. You, the brave yet silly little human, had become the very epitome of ‘sweet dreams’.

Having consumed them for centuries, the adeptus was no stranger to them. You knew, better than anyone else aside from Rex Lapis, that he was painfully familiar with the sweetness forced upon him. What may seem like intangible, abstract fantasies to most have become a source of eternal guilt and pain for the darling, so for him to share his favourite dish with another was indeed a sign of unwavering and complete trust.

After all, almond tofu is well-known for its dreamy texture. One would be deceived into thinking that such a dessert would be tooth-rottingly sweet, and while it was, it was not nauseatingly so. Not to mention it had a subtle texture, like it was there and not at the same time. However, he could feel it on his tongue, in his mouth, down his oesophagus. He could feel it’s weight and knew that the entire plate belonged to him and only him. It was something he could own and consequently trap in his cruel grasp forever. Once it was devoured, it would fully become one with him. (get it?)

You, on the other hand, were not property to be owned, nor sustenance to be consumed. He knew very clearly is more than willing to accept that, which is why consent is important to him. That aside, he’d sometimes feel as if you were sand slipping through his fingers.

Incorporeal, intangible, immaterial; like the sweetest dream he’s ever had. Granting him satisfaction and fullness before dissipating the next second.

You had free will; you could leave anytime. Despite your reassurances, his worries never ceased. Were you truly staying out of your own free will? He did not dare believe you were. You could have very well spent your days frolicking the streets of Liyue or even other nations. There was and still is a bright future ahead, one full of friends new and old and tales untold. He had nothing allowing him to compete with that abundance – the adepti never needed mortal necessities.

He had nothing worthy of your companionship, nothing he could offer.

And while that was partially the reason behind his hesitance, it was definitely not the main one, not the one you knew deep down.

You see, you have always been aware of your limited lifespan, as had Xiao. Ultimately, that was the very matter that had stopped Xiao from confessing to you, and consequently, accepting the heart that you handed to him on a gold platter.

One who has lived as long as he has would more or less be wary about establishing any sort of relationships with mortals, much less romantic ones. If personally watching one's lover grow old and wither while time stood still for them was as painful as they said, he feared he'd lose his sanity.

After all, he's already lost his four beloved comrades, the closest he’s ever gotten to having a family. And oh Archons did it hurt, so he's sure that the pain of losing you would make him drive his spear into his heart, if only to stop it from hindering his duties.

However, one should take caution not to mistake his fear for regret. He may be afraid of the control your very existence holds over his emotions, but Archons above if he wasn't elated – albeit hesitant – to accept the love you're willing to spare a being like him. Granted, he's voiced his worries to you before, trying to scare you away with his usual warnings and icy demeanor, but you never seem to fear the karma that swirled around him like a swarm of locusts.

Rather, it made you even more determined to serve him your heart on a gold platter, and it honestly made him concerned about your mental state.

It wasn't very often for a karma-bound being like himself to have living creatures willing to approach him, so he contemplated taking you to Bubu Pharmacy and having Baizhu check that little noggin of yours. Unexpectedly, his attempt ended with a confession of his plans when you got too fed up with him trying to feed you herbal concoctions that had you scrunching your nose in distaste.

“Darling, pray tell, what is this?”

“Tea, brewed from herbs known for nourishing the brain.”

A splutter resounded through the room, followed by the hurried fishing of tissue paper. The man had reached you before the sound of him cutting through the air had. And here he was, plopping himself next to you, on his bed, wiping the tea around your lips. Coughing into your fist to hide your embarrassment, your eyes darted to his concentrated face, and a chuckle had escaped you before you knew.

Oh, good Morax above, his little human had gone insane. Who in Teyvat laughs after choking on tea? Surely, he was not the cause of your laughter? Melodious and enchanting as it was, it did not do much in easing his concern and consequently, fretting over you.

“Are you alright? Bursting into laughter after choking on a beverage is hardly wise or beneficial.” He chided gently, huffing when you shot him a goofy grin.

“I’m fine.” You whined, latching onto his arm like a koala to a tree, “Besides, what are these even for?”

“…It would not hurt to nourish your brain.” He uttered, too lost in your gorgeous eyes to notice what he had spoken. It wasn’t until your offended gasp reached his ears and a gentle boop landed on his nose did he focus his attention back on you. “My brain is completely fine! Loving and staying with you is the smartest decision I’ve ever made. And mind you, it will always be! So no more of this self-deprecating talk alright?” His fingers were then intertwined with yours, the warmth of your palm directly transferring to his now that his pesky glove was not in the way.

Wait a minute.

...When had you removed his glove?

A sigh escaped his lips. The only thing he could do was to keep an extra eye out for this silly little human who had no respect for the adepti whatsoever. But then again, he was the one letting you disrespect him in all ways others would never dare dream of, so technically speaking he had no one but himself to blame.

A soft sensation on his cheek lead to his gaze flitting over to you. By the time he had finished buffering though, the touch was gone, swiftly and silently as the wind. His fingers gently grazed the patch of skin that your lips had latched onto, and he was back to loading again. Upon seeing this, you let yourself laugh, the giggles making his bottom lip jut out into a pout.

Goodness gracious, you really had no respect for the adepti. Even so, Xiao still settled for pulling you close and shutting you up with a revengeful kiss. Catching you off-guard just as you thought you had the upper hand was no less satisfying than seeing you blush and slowly melt into the sweetness. Nevertheless, he nipped your lip once in warning, deciding to add one more for good measure before pulling away. After all, this was a punishment and not a reward, he couldn’t have you enjoying it too much now, could he?

Then of course you were going to seek out each adepti as if you were Tang Sanzang (the monk) in Journey to the West and spitting the most blasphemous bars you could.

Was it really a punishment though? Your flushed cheeks and dazed expression begged to differ. If such a delicious exchange was your punishment for disrespect to the adepti then…

However, you completely forgot that your lovely birb knew you like the back of his hand. He’s learnt to read this eccentric human over the years and there’s no way he was going to save you from his fellow adepti.

…Perhaps a gentle flick to the forehead would be enough, he thinks. So, he gifted you one.

“Ow! You’re so mean!”

“Do not go around disrespecting the adepti. I will not be saving you from them.”

“Hmph, I can handle myself very well thank you!”

His criminal offensive, bombastic side-eye made you toss your plans into the bin, but you knew that those golden jewels will only ever hold love and respect for you.

Given his stern and emotionless facade, you, like any other human, thought that the yaksha was untouchable. His status as the revered Conqueror of Demons, the Guardian Yaksha, and an outstanding adepti most definitely did not help that stigma. Hence, despite his ethereal looks that render any mortal swooning, you weren't too confident about being able to insert yourself into his life in hopes of capturing his attention, much less his heart.

Yet, it was not always the case (in your humble opinion).

Besides, the Traveller was also an amazing friend, helping you out whenever you needed and in return, you’d help with materials, supplies or cooking. Whenever the adventurous pair were too busy, they’d request for your help in delivering medicinal herbs to Xiao, which Zhongli eventually caught wind of. Seeing as you were entrusted with such a sensitive task, the brunette was reassured of your character and eventually delegated the task of delivery to you.

In the end, there was not much to an ordinary mortal like you, was there? You weren’t the Traveller; just someone akin to a negligible NPC on the side of the street. But you were happy, content even. It wasn’t very often that smiles graced the Conqueror’s face, so to have seen such an ethereal sight in your lifetime was more than enough. Of course, you interacted with him whenever you could, settling for his politeness. His voice was incredibly soothing and if you could make an ASMR out of it, you would.

Were you happy? Not at all.

Because that was the understatement of the millenium. The personification of your internal thoughts was practically jumping for joy, over the moon even. This opportunity finally fell into your hands and there was no way you weren’t going to cherish it. Anyone who wanted it would have to pry it out of your cold hands.

…If they manage to even win anyway.

Just kidding, you weren’t the type to get violent unnecessarily. Your elation was undeniably true though, growing when the visits became a routine belonging to only the both of you. Throughout the months, you watched as his guard lowered bit by bit, and he witnessed you coming more and more out of your shell.

In a sense, you were sunlight and Xiao was the water to the seed. When you were chattering away about the interesting encounters you’ve had, you shone brightly. When you were chill, a soothing sort of warmth was provided instead. The energy you brought fluctuated but was never absent, just like the Sun.

On the other hand, his quiet but comforting understanding seeped into the soil, silently assisting its growth behind the scenes.

Necessary, essential, but easy to overlook.

You’d always notice it though, always see his reciprocation.

With your combined efforts, your friendship slowly blossomed, nourished by the vulnerability of the conversations held and the time you willingly spent on each other. As much of a shame it was, him not falling for you was by no means his fault. It just wasn’t meant to be. But at the very least, you could still leave a tiny mark in his long life, even if out of human selfishness.

You also never knew why the Traveller would randomly give you mysterious smiles or looks of exasperation, as if there was something you should have noticed or known but didn’t. You were then often left alone with Xiao during mealtimes, excuses flowing like rivers while a flailing Paimon was dragged away by the blonde.

Poor Paimon, she never got to take away the leftovers. But she’ll live, so that’s not the point.

How could you be blamed though? It was not known to you, but the clear heart had long been in your grasp. The crystalline organ, left behind by the one who devoured malicious dragons and was consequently engulfed by an inferno, had been unknowingly, gingerly, slipped into your open palms. It thumped ever so slightly between your fingertips, softly beating the rhythm of love into yours.

Worry not though, for fate seemed to ship the both of you. You had thankfully noticed his secret admiration early on and took initiative, so at least there were decades you could spend with him. It may have been but a fleeting moment compared to his lifespan, you were nonetheless content.

He had seen you thrive and flourish. How you’d go about your day-to-day life with an impressive yet stubborn sort of determination, ready to overcome any obstacle. Bearing witness to how you peered into his soul from his eyes, your heart knocking on the door to his and inviting it to a romantic waltz. He may not know when exactly he fell for you, but he knows that he’s never getting back up. You were and are the one battle he’d gladly surrender to, even if it did take you some time to see that.

You had called for him atop Wangshu Inn on that birthday of his, a gift in hand. Despite having turned away certain visitors (like a certain funeral director), he discovered that he could never do the same to you. Seeing your disappointment hurt him far more than any injuries would, but your joy on the other hand was a salve in itself.

…It would not hurt to follow his heart on this day, would it?

With that, he appeared behind to you, the embrace of a breeze giving him away. You looked stunning that day, the moonlight bathing you in the most enchanting glow he’s ever seen. The effort you had put into your appearance was clear as day, not a single detail escaping his eyes. The traditional ornaments matched his, the colours blending smoothly to create an other-worldly mix of yours and his.

You matched him, but never lost yourself.

Naturally, it wasn’t the same for his gift. It was wrapped neatly, the gold popping against the dark emerald green. Anyone taking a look would instantly recognize its receiver – precisely the giver’s intention.

“Happy birthday. May your birthdays always be spent in happiness and bliss, your existence celebrated and loved, your success and life smooth and obstacle-free, and hopefully your love life include me.”

It’s been an unfathomably long time since he last received such well-wishes, much less the last part. Did he really hear you correctly? You wanted his love life to include you? Was it what he thought it was?

Was he allowed to acknowledge what you had just said?

“Ahem. Your blessings have been received and are much appreciated, as is your present. Tonight is especially chilly; take care not to catch a cold.” He uttered, inviting you to take a seat. “Are you not going to talk about what I’ve just said or did you not hear?” You pressed on, careful not to scare your sweet bird away. You couldn’t let him teleport away during such an important moment, could you? Your hands may already be clammy from the nervousness, but you had to get an answer tonight.

You felt his sharp gaze on you and considered salvaging what’s left of your pride, though he seemed to have seen through you.

“If this is your idea of a joke, please return.”

…Oh heck no.

“A joke? My feelings and the time I spent yearning for you are real. All the efforts I put into closing the distance between us is real. The nights we spent chatting away were all real. The vulnerability we shared was no different. How could you just chalk it all up to mere jest?” Did he truly not see the longing in your eyes?

“It will be wise to think for yourself. It is not safe for living beings to get close to a karmic-bound one such as myself.”

He did NOT just try to scare you away.

“Please, if I was truly afraid of your karma, I would not have approached you or appeared in your sights at all. I’d have avoided the absolute heck out of you. I value my life very much, thank you.”

Silence.

Fine. If he was not going to take the first step, then you were.

“I apologise; I did not mean for it to come out that harsh, but I speak the truth. I genuinely wish to be by your side and to support you in times of need. If you truly aren’t willing to accept my feelings, it is alright, I do not blame you. But I hope my feelings will at least be reciprocated with respect and a definite answer.”

“Are they gonna get together or not? Paimon’s losing patience!”

“Shh! They’ll hear you!”

A glare from the Conquerer of Demons was enough to send the eavesdroppers scuttling for their lives.

That night, a yaksha and a human spilled their hearts out to each other, more than they ever had. The walls separating them crumbled to debris, and they bared their hearts. Worries were unveiled, fear confessed, then reassured and soothed by firm promises and solutions proposed. One who’s spent millenia alone experienced romantic love for the first time and finally understood why the mortals sought it out.

Like chocolate, the sweetness of affection was complemented by the bitter aftertaste of ‘what ifs’ and anxiety.

He’ll be darned if that chocolate wasn’t the best he’s tried though. He may not have given an answer after that much-needed conversation, but he had promised you a deadline he’d give an answer by.

Three days, he’d said. Give him three days to sort through his feelings and consider. So you did.

On the third day, a letter was found by your windowsill. ‘Should you read this letter, please know that I have accepted and return your feelings. If you are still willing to see me, then speak my name. I will be there.’

“Xiao.”

No other words were needed.

Since that day, the both of you were officially together. He’s never mentioned it, but it would be a lie for him to say that all of his troubles had been resolved.

One of them being your lifespan.

It wasn’t like he didn’t try searching for secret or adepti art to grant you longevity; he did. Even more diligently than guarding Liyue’s safety. Zhongli does not have to know that, but you do. Aside from respecting your decisions, he wasn’t sure if those forbidden arts would go against the natural rule of Teyvat and subsequently bring you harm. He wasn’t willing to risk it either.

In times like this, he would recall the advice he’s heard from his ‘colleagues’ and found family all those centuries ago. Something along the lines of worrying less and living in the moment. He’s already spent years with you, experiencing what he never thought he could. The constant in his memories was no longer the striking red nor the bland snow, having been replaced by you.

At the end of the day, what matters was that you are still by his side, no? He should cherish the present before their existence is reduced to mere memories, privy to only those who share them. He’s already made that mistake with Bosacius and the others; it would not be wise of him to commit it again.

Unbeknownst to him, you saw how those bright amber eyes had been clouded over for a quite a while now. While it was not abnormal for Xiao to lose himself in his memories, you weren’t sure if it was just nostalgia or traumatic flashbacks. A quiet Xiao would be either a good or bad thing, but you weren’t risking it.

Mistaking his embarrassment for sorrow, you gently poked him on the cheek thrice. Thank the high heavens that the little 'poke-poke-poke' managed to snapped him out of his trance, or you’d have to resort to more…drastic measures.

Such as a surprise kiss attack, which you regretfully did not get the chance to put into action.

“Xiao, darling. I didn’t mean to make you sad...”

“…I am at fault; I did not mean to ignore you. I was merely lost in thought. You did nothing worthy of apologizing for.”

A bare hand lifted, gently patting your head. He never liked when you apologized for trivial matters. You did not deserve to live in fear, especially not when you’re by his side. If there was something he could do to rid you of this anxiety, he’d do it in a heartbeat, even if it costed him his life. That you knew, and actions spoke louder than words. Thus, you chose to let your fingertips transfer your warmth, caressing his cheek and enjoying the smooth, tender flesh you’ve always loved to pinch and poke.

What a fitting contrast, you thought. His hands showed the world of his past and duty, the trials and tribulations he went through. His skin, however, reflected who he really was internally. His gentle protection, his care and his kindness just to mention a few, all represented by the softness and youthful appearance.

Although, his sweetness was a whole ‘nother story, shining through his flawless penmanship and the contents penned.

“Xiao, did you notice? Your letters seem to be getting sweeter and sweeter each time. I absolutely adore them, even if I wish you’d convey your feelings to me through your words and not on pen and paper.”

There was a blush, followed by an embarrassed cough. “…I’m glad they brought you joy. If it pleases you so much, I shall express my thoughts verbally next time. For your ears and no one else’s.”

There he goes again, down-playing the effect his existence has on you. But it wasn’t important. You understood him well enough without having to read between the lines or behind his words, and that was enough. Who were you to turn his offers down anyway?

“I’d love that. Since you’re being so generous tonight, could you grant me another wish of mine?”

“I do not believe I have turned down any unless they pose a threat to your safety, but your wishes are my command.”

“Well, my dancing skills are getting rusty from the lack of practice. Do you want to help me practice?”

“When have I ever denied you of your right to dance?”

“Come on, quit teasing me. You know this dance cannot be performed alone.”

His laugh has never sounded more beautiful.

You see, as he had promised you, he taught you the dances he knew and helped you practice the ones which enchanted you most. It then became a sort of bonding activity, mostly done on a whim or when the mood is perfect for pulling him into one.

Just like tonight.

The both of you could tell that it was getting late and he’s always discouraged you from staying past a healthy bedtime. Yet, tonight was different. He was more than willing to indulge you, just as how he’s let you confiscated his gloves and never gave them back. If granting your wishes would incline you to stay, then he’d willingly fulfil any and all of your desires, at any time of the day and any cost.

Even right here, right now. On this grassy field, the moon bore witness to an intimate dance between lovers, each slightly out of reach of the other and desperately trying to close the distance. The two invited the celestial body to a show of passion, where solace was found in a human's arms by a fearsome yaksha who knew nothing but bloodshed.

For tonight, the masquerade ends. The yaksha sheds his mask and falls into step with you with a seemingly innate grace, wondering if there were any adepti arts that would allow him to sear this memory into his brain and have it play on repeat for the remainder of his undesirably lengthy life. If he was to march on as an Archon’s strongest soldier and live well, he will do it for you. He’s gone on for so long, surely, they’d be willing to spare him such a mercy.

If they weren’t, then he has his own ways of remembering you.

You, on the other hand, indulged him with sweet smile, the love and adoration for the cutie practically oozing out of your gaze. Would Chang’E take offense, you wondered, if she happened to gaze upon this performance? Perhaps the goddess would sigh, bemoaning the distance between her and her beloved, merely observing with the ever-slight twinge of envy.

…Who’s to say that you were any different from the goddess though? You were only but a tad bit fortunate, having been given more time to spend with the one who holds your heart. The moment your mortality shows up as an unwanted guest, it will be your turn to envy the goddess.

Truly, fate can be so very cruel.

"I wish I could stay with you forever, Xiao, just you and me alone, here on this grassy field, with the breeze caressing our cheeks as we bask in the silver rays of the moon." You knew this confession brought your darling more joy than he'd ever show, but being able to witness him blush tells you that he's gotten better at showing his emotions around you.

It felt good to be trusted this much, you wouldn't lie, but all good times come to an end, and it was time that you both returned to where you belonged.

Taking a few steps back, you brushed off the remaining grass from your clothes and stole a few more glances of your sweetheart. It would be absolute bliss if this moment were to never end, though you supposed that gentle kisses would suffice for now. Besides, the lips that Xiao had squished into an unconscious pout looked too full to ignore, and you couldn't help stealing a few more kisses before reluctantly pulling away.

Xiao reaches out, pink lips pursed in a slight frown as he expressed dissatisfaction at your early departure. The fingers he's interlocked his with thousands of times were just in his reach, and it's been so long since he's held those beautiful hands of yours. Now all he had to do was to reach over just a little more and curl his fingers around yours.

Just a little more.

Just a little.

Just–

Expecting to touch warm, gloved flesh, he instead comes into contact with polished stone as cold-hard as the reality he's snapped back into.

He doesn't think he'll ever have a dream sweeter than you.

A/N: Song recommendations specifically for the end of this fanfic:

Ghost by Justin Bieber: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fp8msa5uYsc

Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bpMSpFTdzM

A Clingy Boy Sticking (To Love) For 15 years by Manbo-P: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIalKKCbKGU

[darkbluekies]

What are the yanderes favourite seasons? Or favourite kind of weather? What your favourite season, Blue? :D

I personally love calm rainy weathers :3 perfect to sit on the balcony, sipping tea and reading something while listening to the rain dropping on leaves ^^

Silas: since he is from Greece I feel like he's a summer person. I feel like he wants a reason to show off his muscles. And he does not like being crammed in a winter jacket. Sunny, hot and warm breeze<3

Dr Kry: spring!! Life is starting to come back after a long winter, and he is fascinated by how the greeney is coming back to life. He starts his gardening and gets his will to live back. Sunny, not too hot and crisp air<3

King Edmund: probably autumn? Hard to say. I think he likes the atmosphere of autumn. He likes the smell of the forest after rain, the fact that he doesn't sweat his ass off anymore and likes the look of leaves in the wind. Sunny, crisp air, after it has just been raining<3

Jerry: this girl likes spring. I feel like she secretly likes to see the flowers and definitely likes warmer weather. Summer is also nice for her, but I feel like she isn't that big of a fan of sunshine. Cloudy, warm breeze<3

Hedwig: summer!!!!!!!!!! This girl will not stay in England once she becomes a real adult because she can't stand the weather!!!!! She loves to be by the pool, to wear summer dresses etc. Loves summer. Sunny, warm wind, extremely hot<3

And yours truly, I love all seasons, honestly. I think that autumn might be my favorite because of the atmosphere. I get all good book ideas in fall (example being the "story 1" of my private ones i showed a while ago lol) and I just love the look of the leaves and fog and such.

But my ABSOLUTE favorite weather is during the summer, when the sky is so unbelievably dark that there's a dark hue over the world, just before the rain starts. NOTHING gives me inspiration to write like that!!!

My favorite season to run is in winter because I don't sweat, it's dark early and the snow is fun to run in + everything is beautiful<333

[nanamoonnight]

thank you so much for the tag, malina @softspokenpoetry! :D

name three of your favourite music artists and the song/anything else that introduced you to them.

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐘

i first started truly listening to lana last summer. i had heard so much of her before and a couple of her most popular songs, like a "young and beautiful", were in my crochet playlist that i made in winter. despite that, i never felt as if i could really grasp her artictic vision.

i spent that summer in italy and it was magical. in the end, i dedicated two weeks of long, dreamy car drives to her music and each new note was like a revelation. every album had a unique vibe and sound to it, just like every day i felt like someone else as my soul breathed in the salty sea breeze, lavender fields and colors. listening to lana makes me feel as if i'm floating through time and space, it is like endless blue and not only a connection to my past self, but also an idea of who i want to be.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐄

i envy my parents for having grown up in the eighties and nineties. it was such an inspirational period in art! the spirit of freedom is something i miss in this century. today makes me feel caged at times. i tried out listening to the cure songs multiple times, but when it really hit me i was looking over a green field that ended in a dike. there was only grass and the sky, and i knew that the sea was there too, even though i didn't see it. and listening to the happiest love songs i had ever heard i knew that the future was pretty and it was there too, even though i didn't see it.

what really makes the cure stand out in my eyes is their duality. their music is a kaleidoscope of feelings, and i can have both — pure bliss and heartbreaking sadness.

𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑

the melody that plays in my soul. if it were a room, it would have windows looking into my heart, and it's autumn outside. leaves are falling down softly in eternal silence, like a blanket enveloping the calm earth. the sun of my mind shines warmly, a golden glow, and somewhere, there's the sound of a distant melody... hope sandovals voice flowing out of an old wooden record player.

no pressure tags: @duskfawnn @luvleyangeldust @artemis-melody @sweettiedeer @n0b0dysd4ught3r

[makedonsgriva]

Random, what are your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Oh this is a pretty cool ask!

I will list five here!

1. We Should Just Kiss (Like Real People Do)

I’m actually pretty proud of this fic because it’s the first one I wrote after a pretty long hiatus and I was very nervous about it because a) it was my first fic for a new fandom b) it has explicit sexual content and I wasn’t sure if could pull it off nicely c) writing calamity xie lian and wu ming was a task alright like this fic took me almost a month i guess?? and d) since it was something I’d written after so long I was nervous my writing would be crappy

But people liked it and even I was very satisfied and pleased with how it turned out in the end! I’m pretty proud of it. Idk how I was inspired to write this fic because I started on a draft of it in the notes app of my phone while I was commuting back to home after my internship (harrowing experience fr)

(Maybe the fic made me channel out all my frustrations caused by the internship via xie lian)

2. I Really Like Your Company

I love this fic because it’s the first multi chapter fic I completed and posted. Also because it was my lifeline fr while I was grappling with many things. I’d started it as a gift for one of my dear friends and then it just became so much more. It’s so warm and comforting.

I was throwing in tropes and all cute stuff I could imagine in it and it made me happy. Writing that fic, getting comments on it made me very happy. I love that fic.

3. Once More We Try

Okay I’m actually still working on this fic and as a matter of fact I was working on its latest chapter before this and I truly think this fic has quickly become one of my favourites because I love writing all the characters in it so much. There’s so much to explore and so much to write and it’s a challenge but such a good challenge!

Idk how I got the inspiration for the fic I was just scrolling through tumblr one day and I randomly got this thought that huh what if SY had died instead of throwing Binghe in the abyss? And then I posted that idea and.

IT BLEW UP?

so I thought whoa why wait for someone else to write it when I can write it so I got down to business and here we are! It’s super fun. I love this fic so much. It’s also my first fic for scum villain fandom and I’m so glad it’s been so well received ❤️

4. Song of The River City

Another TGCF fanfic! I’ve put it on hold for now as I’m planning to complete OMWT before I get back to it. I’m actually very proud of this AU where we have ghost king! Xie Lian who had died during the hundred sword scene and cultivator! Hua Cheng (who had dispersed his soul as Wu Ming and was re incarcerated as the cultivator). I’m planning to do great things with this AU and I also love writing a darker XL.

The inspiration for this fic was that I was just thinking about the hundred sword scene and I thought, huh what if that guy died here? So I got down to work.

I love this fic and writing all the characters in it and plotting out the backstories is very fun! Especially the latest chapter where I’d posted the fengqing backstory is one of my favourites. I’m proud of it.

5. I Remember It

So this is just 100 words long and I love this fic because I feel like I managed to break mine and all its readers hearts in so few words. I love writing drabbles because they are always a good challenge for me and this one is a particular favorite of mine. The inspiration for it was actually a fic idea that I later scrapped away. The fic was supposed to be from the pov of snowbaz’s kid and her experience with them as she got older and they aged too and yeah.. somehow it turned into that.

Thank you so much for the ask!

[perryrata]

Welcome to Tumblr! I have watched your content a lot lately and I love your designs of the lifers! Etho's has to be my favourite!

What inspired you to design him the way you do along with the other Lifers?

I thank you for your support :D <3

And truthfully, I just saw other artists doing fox etho, so for a while I did red fox etho because idk?? But I decided eventually that the colors clashed too much so I caved and made him entirely furry arctic fox. And the same thing truly goes for the rest of em’ seeing stuff I like but doing it in a slightly different way that I find more enjoyable to create. (Everything I do is sporadic too- I don’t have a real ref sheet for any of them 😔)

[toomuchracket]

bday party girlie and matty at the met gala! and charli and george too!

girls stun while the boys simp and cause mayhem

MAYHEM MENTIONED???? nah fr though i love thinking about this, especially if it's like the first Big event you and matty go to as a couple. i haven't yet moved on from that time matty was working with dior, so in my mind that's who you're both wearing, and god knows you analysed the essay/story they gave as theme inspiration within an inch of its life because "there is no way in HELL i am letting some tiktok twink call my dress off-theme. not a fucking chance" - matty is so fucking entertained by that, all ":D i love you so much" lol, and there's also no way in hell you're letting him turn up in a black suit, so that's that. anyway!! your outfits aren't matching, but they do correspond perfectly together, and actually you assume you'll barely get a wink of sleep the night before the met because you're so fucking excited to see your boyfriend all dressed up and hot, but he tires you out enough (wink wink) that you're both very well-rested. and matty's SO cute while you're getting ready - he's documenting it all on video like "an angel! glowing! most gorgeous woman in existence!", and you're like "baby please stop making me giggle my foundation will crease" (but actually you very much enjoy him just sitting shirtless and wet-haired and looking at you lovingly. you're only human, after all). he actually tears up when he sees you completely ready for the first time, which your MUA gets on video, and you really do feel like the prettiest girl in the world when he sniffles like "christ, you are SO beautiful. i love you. and i'm honoured to do that", bless him. and GOD, matty looks amazing, all curls and slut hoop and clean-shaven face and the colour of his shirt making his skin glow, so you have to take approximately eight million pics of and with him before you can leave. in terms of walking the carpet, you start alone and then go up the stairs and take pics together (matty's adamant he's helping you up the steps in your heels "just so you don't have a jason derulo moment, babe"), and it's testament to how truly happy matty is to be with you that he smiles for almost every pic you take together; there are a couple where you whisper "baby. i think we should be cunty" and it's both of you smizing/giving blue steel lmfao, but most are just big smiles for the camera and tender glances at each other where it is so blisteringly obvious that you're in love. they split up couples at the dinner section of the met, but it's still nice getting to meet people you think are cool at your table (zendaya! she likes your dress! she said she had your first book recommended to her and loved it!), and you sneak off to hang out with your boyfriend in the toilets (iconic, really) or the smoking area. and of course you run into charli and george - literally, the boys aren't looking where they're going and walk into each other and find it absolutely hilarious - and take some (illegal!) pics; once again, george is like "we really are punching above our weight with the girls, aren't we? look how good they look" to matty while you and charli force them to take pics of you together, and matty's literally like "yeah..." in a daze just looking at you lmfao. and if you think he's simping now, well, seeing you in your minidress for the afterparty is SO MUCH WORSE - he's jaw-on-the-floor like "must we go? i can't just keep you all to myself?", and you're like "we have to go, but i do actually plan on clinging to you on and off the dancefloor the whole night", and needless to say he's convinced lol. the events are so much fun, but your favourite bit is getting back to the hotel and ordering room service to eat in bed with the love of your life, before giggling in the shower with him while you wash each other's hair, and then falling asleep curled up safe in his arms. perfect <3

[kirain]

Hi! I love your metas and I had a question if you don't mind. I love Barcus but I'm a bit confused by the Ironhand gnomes and why they were so mad at the Gondians? Did I maybe miss something?

Omg, I'm so glad someone asked me this! Thank you, anon. I broached this exact subject with my friend a few days ago, and I'd already considered writing a post about it, so this was the kick I needed! Barcus is hands down my favourite NPC (perhaps of all time) and the gnome plight is easily my favourite side quest in the entire game, so I'm excited to share what I've learned!

To preface, I'd like to mention that most gnomes, according to D&D lore, live in clans and keep to themselves. This is especially true for deep gnomes, as the Underdark is an exceedingly dangerous homeland. Their people are often enslaved by drow or duergar, or eaten by other nefarious creatures that lurk in the shadows. As such, they have become a profoundly somber and cynical race, relying only on each other for survival. They're also extremely wary of strangers, as Barcus perfectly demonstrates when we first meet him.

Now, a history lesson. The Ironhand Gnomes, who at some point left the Underdark, worked in Baldur's Gate for generations, providing the city with the best mechanomagical inventions the populace had ever seen. Though they still kept to themselves and worked in isolation, they were well respected by the citizens, and flourished enough to inspire other gnomes to seek a new life in the city as well. This may not have been their goal, but whether they meant to or not, they brought gnomish innovation to the forefront of one of the most multicultural cities in all of Faerûn.

More importantly, the Ironhand Gnomes worshipped a lesser deity called Gaerdal Ironhand, who Wulbren's ancestor, Wolverforce Bongle, allegedly conversed with. Massive however, in all of my research, I haven't been able to find any evidence that he was truly capable of such a feat, nor is he ever referred to as a "Chosen" by either himself or anyone from his clan. Therefore, it's possible this is nothing more than an unsubstantiated claim made by zealots. A book called Ironhand Gnomes: Our Grievances can be found in the gnome hideout in Act 3, verifying some of this information, but it's glaringly biased against the Gondians, with radically religious and violent undertones.

But where did this hatred come from? Well, according to the book, the Ironhand Gnomes shared some of their expertise with other clans, and some of those clans took what they learned and opened their own workshops. The Gondians, who worship Gond, did particularly well, constructing their own factories and becoming quick competition. They even built a Gondian Church in the city, and attributed their success to Gond; god of craft, smithing, and inventiveness. For whatever reason, the Ironhands didn't appreciate this and accused the Gondians of stealing their methods and designs, as well as pointing out flaws in their "shoddy" craftsmanship.

However, Gondian work was relatively flawless, as well as artifice-based, meaning it relied on science and raw materials. The Ironhands specialised in mechanomagical inventions, meaning they imbued their engines with arcane influence. This put the Gondians and Ironhands at odds with each other, as Gond espoused artifice supremacy, whereas Gaerdal Ironhand, according to Wolverforce, accused Gond of being a thief. So yes, we've reached the crux of the issue—religious turmoil. Both gods, I should mention, are good-aligned and easily misinterpreted, so of course that adds another layer of complications.

In response to the Ironhand's accusations, the Gondians started slandering the Ironhand clan, losing them favour in the city. In other words, the feud quite literally became a he said/she said situation, with both clans acting like petty children. Whether or not the Ironhand Gnomes taught the Gondians a few tricks, they weren't owed credit for their inventions. That would be like my friend showing me how to use Adobe Animate, then demanding credit for all of my artwork thereafter ... and all while criticising it. And the Gondians, though attempting to protect their reputation, had no right to spread lies about the Ironhand clan, not all of whom participated in the drama. They could've let their work speak for itself.

But this war of finger-pointing dragged on, with both sides losing and gaining support from confused Baldurians. Eventually, the Ironhands became desperate to get the upperhand, rousing Wolverforce to experiment with the thought-to-be mythical runepowder. This led to what became known as the "Unfortunate Runepowder Incident", wherein the overweening Wolverforce caused a massive explosion, killing himself and countless others in the blast. Wulbren blames this tragedy on the Gondians alone, and many Ironhands seem to feel it was the root of their exile, but there's more to it.

In reality, the Ironhand Gnomes were banished from Baldur's Gate because they aligned themselves with Sarevok Anchev, the Bhaalspawn who tried to destroy the city in the first game. For some reason, Wulbren completely glosses over this detail, likely because he can't bring himself to admit the Ironhands are responsible for their own downfall. In fact, he brushes it off, as if it's some insignificant happenstance that deserves forgiveness without merit. After all, it happened over a century ago. Then, in Act 3, he says a painfully backwards line about how he thinks the Gondians would've joined Sarevok, if given the chance. But they did have a chance, and they didn't join him. The Ironhands did. As far as I'm concerned, this highlights Wulbren's extensive denial.

Which brings me around to Barcus and why he's such an endearing character. He doesn't care about ancient feuds or gnome supremacy. He made a name for himself, despite his clan's reputation. The Gondians never saw him as an enemy, and he in turn saw the value in their work. He prefers diplomacy and open dialogue, and he abhors violence to the highest degree. With a little hard work, he proved that the Ironhand Gnomes could've redeemed themselves without resorting to such extreme and radical measures; which is why I will always argue for him to take leadership. He's the best. He's everything. He is the shining future of unity and creation.

[remedyturtles]

I just finished reading chapter 40. I want to share the experience with you.

When I read Leo taking Donnie into his mind scape, letting him in for the first time to truly see the horror of his own thoughts, I was in the car, the sound of tires distant compared to the water droplets pouring over the metallic roof. Thunder louder than I’ve heard pounding in my ears and vibrating within my body after each bright flash of crackling light. While I read of Leo’s mind scape and of the storm raging inside his head, I heard the storm around me. As the ice cold room was described I felt the cold AC. Then, once I had finished, I looked up. I turned my eyes to the window and processed the chapter I had just read, I saw the charcoal gray clouds retreat and the light begin to seep back into the sky. The rain still poured all around, above was still gray, thunder was still sounding, lighting was still flashing, and yet the light began to shine.

I couldn’t help but think of the chapter. The situation is still awful, it’s still dark, and damp, but you can see the light began to shine; the hope of recovery distant, but still present, still growing closer, and shining brighter through the storm.

Well that’s enough of that! Onto my unintelligible screaming in awe of the incredible chapter.

FIREFIGHT IS SO GOOD. YOU PORTAY EMOTION SO WELL. AKDJNDSCIJNCSDKJNCKJSDNCKSKDNCSD IM NOT OKAY THESE CHAPTERS ARE FANTASTIC. YOU ARE A HUGE INSPIRATION TO ME AND MY WRITING. YOU DESCRIPTIONS ARE SO ENGAGING. YOUR DIALOG IS SO REAL. THE EMOTION IS SO PRESENT. JUST EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD. KSDVNSCJOCNSDOCKNCSDLKCNSCOKNCSDKJCNEFIJNVIJFSJNFSV

LEOPLEASEALLOWYOURFAMILYTOLOVEYOU!!!!!!!!

one of my FAVOURITE things is when people tell me what was going on while they were reading my fics, and this is definitely one of the best ones. WOW!!!! i love that so so much :D

[bellamby]

I saw Transformers One. I am so normal about it (SPOILERS AHEAD)

(Some OC doodles to hide the spoilers! If you have a cool name for her, lemme know ^^)

Honest Review: 9/10

I went in with high expectations and I was not disappointed. The best summary I can think of is that this movie is truly a love letter to the fans.

I could rant for days, but I'm gonna break it down into sections so I don't talk myself in circles ^^

Story:

The story focusing on how the war began was such a good move on the writers' part! It showed a version of Cybertron that I haven't really seen in other Transformers films, and the setting was incredibly explored.

When it comes to the origins of Cybertron and the whole "Primus/Unicron" battle, I think it was well explained considering the limited time they have in the movie.

Overall, a well-paced and actually interesting NON-HUMAN-FOCUSED story, but I will agree with others that I just wish the movie had more time to explain some things. That's basically my only complaint: the movie wasn't long enough 😭

Art:

The animation style is gorgeous, and really takes inspiration from that Retro/VHS style and colours and merges them with a shiny modern look. It took a good chunk of inspiration from the 80s vibes and I think that really showed how much care was put into it.

When it comes to the designs, I freaking LOVE the way we see them level up throughout the movie!

Characters:

Orion Pax/OP = I loved him. I will love him in every continuity, but this one especially, showing him with all his flaws and then how he rises above them for what he believes. His relationship with D-16 was so well built up, and to see it torn down so harshly as the movie went on was the level of brutal I was expecting.

The scene where he finally gets the Matrix of Leadership was SO well done. My hype for Solus Prime will never die.

D-16 = He needs a hug so badly. He's the classic tale of "Never meet your heroes". To see him shift from "I made peace with my misery, why did you have to ruin it?" To "I'm going to destroy the people who made me this way" was such a painful thing to watch. But I can't even be mad because this is literally what Megatron's whole story is about.

His origin will almost always come from a point of seeing injustice and wanting to rise against it, and they showed the lengths he'd go to really well here.

Elita One = MY QUEEN. I will follow this woman into battle any day of the week (and so would Shockwave). I feel like there was a point where she was mainly just regarded as "Orion/Optimus' GF", but they really separated her from that stereotype in this. She's not just "pink Orion Pax", she's a character in her own right.

Seeing Orion have to earn her respect helped show just why the two hold each other in high regard. I hope we get to see more of her as a Commander in the sequel!

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE = MY PRECIOUS BOY. Okay, there was a point in the trailer where I was really worried he was going to just be the comic relief character who makes a joke every time something serious is happening, but instead he's an awkward bot who means well. He doesn't always get it right, but he also doesn't actively mess things up for the group.

Bumblebee's wholesomeness was so well captured especially the part where he's like "Orion Orion! Watch me cut these guys in half!" While the guys in question are literally running away in fear. He's so cute, I can't. I am going to fight D-16 if he's actually the one who tears out his voicebox, I swear to Primus.

Can you tell who my favourite is? ^^

Favourite details:

- Starscream's high-pitched voice origin. The second he started sounding like that I was like "OHHHHH, MEGS DID THAT?!?!"

- "I'm...speechless" BEEEEE STAAAAWWP

- Alpha Trion's "ROAR" era.

- Sentinel's Death. I love that we can get away with gore in PG films when it comes to robots. Man literally got snapped in half like a KitKat, and the age rating people were like "...yeah, 5-year-olds can watch this"

- Origins of the Decepticon symbol being from Megatronus. Before, I just headcanonned Megs sitting over a desk with several balled up bits of paper trying to come up with a super cool symbol to show his Ex that he'd moved on (he hasn't)

- Chromia's little moment of rage when she won the Iacon 5000. Not enough people talk about Chromia, but I love how Ironhide matches her wild, slightly-unhinged energy.

Conclusion: Hasbro, more movie, please

I NEED to know where this goes. This movie is such a fresh change of pace from all the hesitation and back and forth in recent years. There have been so many different series and continuities starting up that it seems Hasbro is unsure of which one will stick, but this is my plea to them:

YOU HAVE STRUCK ENERGON, HERE, DO NOT WASTE IT

We're getting a sequel either way, but it's up to Hasbro whether that's written by them or by a hero on AO3 or Fanfiction.net

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I have several nights of crying to do now.

[cafeleningrad]

thank you for the analysis on Thomas' character! It was very insightful. He's my favourite character in the movie, but there's so much ungenuine readings of his character it's frustrating 😞. From people who think he's a villain in this story (wtf) to people who believe Ellen never actually loved him (lol). A lot of people also completely disregard his character (mainly for shipping purposes, but it's not any less annoying) or can't even tell what his issues are and make stuff up that's not even supported by the movie itself. As if he's not one of the main characters and the entire first half of the movie isn't about his victimisation.

Hejhej Anon, it was my verbose pleasure. ;D

To be quiet honest, shipping discourses do sour every fandom experience, mostly because some discussions retreat into juvenile instincts charading with grown-up language.

It's then more about playing goth Barbie's dream date with differently style Kenndolls, and so the characters get projected on different traits fitting into the story the play should represent for the player. Well fine, but I don't think ever was that subtle or deep with this movie. (And the amount of takes uninterested in looking a bit further -ironically, in spite of Eggers being known and executing very carefully historical accuracy whereever possible- shows by not even paying attention to the fact that the cast are and movie in German Biedermeier society but get called and treated like British "Victorians". Thus leading to inaccurate analysis.)

Safe to say, that I currently don't really like to engage with the fandom or discussions about the movie, mostly because I bought my theater ticket for very different reasons than "the Gothique". For all who enjoy monster romance, please enjoy them. My primary interest was that I like Eggers skripts, and his atmospheric horror, and historical detailed research, and I'm a big fan of Babelsberg era movies. (German expressionist cinema was so unbelievably influential on movie history. Not only for the many creative workers fleeing the Nazis and bringing their talent to Hollywood, Disney's most iconic animation sequences were stolen from largely inspired by Lang's work with lightning. By any means, watch "M", and it turns out every thriller after it hits the same plot beat, the same themes (for better or for worse), just the filming style changed.) And boy does Eggers play Easter Egg hunt for fans of the original in this movie! But I'm also wary of changes Eggers made, and in the over all context of the movie, it's history, it's screening time, especially the context around it, kinda missed the mark. Most of all, I'm a bit disappointment how linear the dialogue is. It leaves little room for ambiguity, lingering unease of the grander sphere of Wisborg, the world getting threatened by Orlock's presence. It also looses the poetic cinematic language from 1922 in which the image, or better the symbolism the image creates, speaks for itself. In 2024, Dr. von Frantz, and the Schema-nun couldn't have duetted more what kind of fearsome fiend Orlock is.

To say, many watched the movie for being a 1830s setting horror film (period aesthetics), they like vampires, Lily Rose Depp has the face and role to make sad girl coquette posts about - super fine reasons to watch a movie because different interests pull different people into the cinema. And I really hope the success will guarantee Eggers continuing his work. Where I see interpretations fail is not realizing that this movie is primarily a remake, and Eggers was still working along a story structure of a monster that breaks apart modernity as well as the assumed safety of the domestic sphere. In his movie, Eggers flips the idyll of imagined domesticity on it's head by having the home be unsafe in the first place. Moreso, Eggers was interested in exploring the character of Ellen Hutter who, in 1922, dies a noble yet unheroic death because in times of plague or social collapse no heroism can truly exist. And here's also a friction between Eggers' re-imagined domestic horror and the 1922 original which was about a structural social collapse, echoing the immediate trauma about surviving WWI, Germany being in an absolute state of mess after it, the abdication of the Hohernzollern family, surviving the Spanish flu pandemic, and being in the midst of a inflation that skyrocketed beyond the stratosphere. And all these fears of that time influenced the story functions of the changes Henrik Galeen made to the script, and in creating their own story. (That's why I resist very much the idea that Nosferatu 1922, or Nosferatu 2024 are "another Dracula interpretation" because it works on very different themes, Orlock represents different fears for a German audience in the 1920s, than Dracula to a British audience in the 1890s, the ending is massively different because they follow different themes, and Orlock is massively desexed to signal his monstrosity lying in death and decay he should represent. I mean, for everyone getting hot and bothered over Max Schreck, or Bill Skarsgård in their costumes respectively, seriously have fun, I genuinely mean it. But let's be real, the creative team did very much intended to make Orlock look repulsive.)

Oh, last but not least, Eggers movies are strongly contextual within their historical background. Katherine in "the VVitch" is the perfect victim by the devil to be groomed because she grows up in a zealous, oppressive community - with her father exiled she basically has no future prospects. (Hence her ending being tragic for her, not liberating.) "The Northman" is a straight up attempt at a saga version of the Danish myth of Hamlet. Hence why themes of fate and providence are concepts people take so seriously within this story.

So that's a long round-about way to get to Thomas: Thomas is never set out to be the hero, but Orlock is definitely the monster as harbringer of death, collapse, and pandemic. The horror in 1922 lay in the tragedy of a young couple wanting to start their life together yet the forces of nature and death rip them apart. And I tell you, in 1920s Germany, Ellen and Thomas were kissing and hugging at every occasion. But most of all, Thomas was an easily understandable protagonist to follow in 1922. He too was full of hope - and in dire need for money. The original movie stresses in an exposition card how well Knock pays his employees, no matter how much more ostentatiously "weird" Herr Knock's entire appearance is. To a 1920s German audience, a young man needing to leave his wife for making money would have made much more initial sense. And you know, in 2024/25 with rising inflation levels, and job insecurity, it does strike me as weird how many takes on Thomas do not take the financial insecurity into account in Thomas' actions. No, he's not career jockey. In fact the movie exposes how Thomas is financially indebted to Friedrich Harding (although Friedrich is being gracious about that matter), and at the bottom of the pecking order at work. There is so, so, so much more to say how the political landscape informs the human characters' values - and how the strain of fiances strain or ease their circumstances. @abbenai has written a wonderful post about how the historical context webs in the characters in regards of politics and finances which I highly recommend to read. X Finances, existential worries about money can gravely interfere with time and possibility for love, care, and affection. That already is a worrying factor for the Hutter household.

Everyone is confined by their times. Even Orlock is the creature of a time in which nobility had absolute rule. Hence he sets up a contract over Ellen's body not letting her voice count. He wants, he receives. He also bosses Herr Knock around without hesitance. The entire movie is very clear that living in the real world is an arduous fight for Ellen, especially when Thomas is gone. (At some point Anna and Thomas have split function, hence the "Harold, they're..." vibes between her and Ellen.) Thomas and Anna are also limited in their time in which, unlike Friedrich and Dr. Sievers showcase a lot of love for Ellen - Ellen's nervosity, breakdowns, and moodswings aren't to be scorned but the tended for.Husband, and best friend can not make anything better because they only can think of consolation. Behind it their intention to see Ellen cheered up. Their ignorance stems from them living relatively adjusted lives (Anna is almost a caricature in her hyper gender performance, looking angelic, pious, endlessly loving, having given birth twice (Louise and Clara seemingly children that did survive their infancy), eagerly awaiting birth of child no.3) who can't fathom anything that could shake up a person so deeply even echoing in their adult life. Yeah, with faults but well-intentioned. And Ellen often clings onto these too when feeling lost because they do actually help her to calm her down.

The turn comes after Thomas himself lives from the almost same horrors with Orlock. Now he truly understands what Ellen went through that she's haunted, and why. However, For him it's even more reason to care for her because now he finally understands her. "Let me go. I'm unclean." "Never."

By all means, it's questionable how easy life would have been for Ellen had she survived with Thomas in the real world burdened with the death of their friends, a society in which women had no perceived personhood, even less so any rights, Ellen getting bombarded with intimate questions about pregnancy and child bearing just shortly after Thomas and her got married. The alternative would be to be eaten away by an entity that openly states that it can not love, and wants Ellen to submit. In contrast Thomas is a relatively chill guy for his time, not pressuring Ellen to have sex or children (in fact Ellen initiates sex), and unlike man-of-his-time-peak-performer Friedrich, doesn't get annoyed with but stays loyal to Ellen. In life Ellen had Greta, had Anna, palyed with Louisa and Clara. And even when disaster struck, Ellen found unexpectedly understanding in Dr. von Frantz. In many ways, life was hard but not void of joy or worth to Ellen. Even in the most dire, insecure, harrowing times, having been badly scarred before, Ellen still finds a lover, a friend, a cat, and a an unexpected stranger that don't make her feel lonely and abandoned. That's the entire worth of Thomas Hutter and Anna Harding.

But yeah, shipping discourse is not really worth getting into. And at some point I think the movie doesn't hold this much substance to be discussed so thouroughly, especially not in it's love triangle dynamic. There, the discussion material exhausts itself quickly as the movie is not subtle about the characters' actions, Orlock's symbolism, and their intentions.

[wickedwanchii]

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!

You already know I had to do something for these two dingbats (affectionate). Anyways, a friend of mine suggested a plane museum date and I couldn't not do it.

Nerd stuff below the cut --

So fun fact- the background was inspired by my personal favourite aviation museum, the Museum of Flight in Seattle, Washington, USA. In their WWII section, there are two planes facing each other: a Yakovlev-9U (Soviet) and a Republic P-47-D (American). Me, being the brain-rotted plane nerd I am, I wanted to draw something AmeRus related for Valentine's Day as an excuse to draw some planes.

The markings of the planes in the drawing aren't exact to the two planes you can see IRL, but the inspiration for the depicted versions are the restored Yak-9U Construction Number 0815346 and P-47 Serial Number 42-8205.

The Yak-9U is painted in the markings of Russian WWII ace, Gen Maesky, however this specific plane was restored in 1992 with no service history available prior to that. Restoration was completed in 1994, and the project used the original engine and propeller with the rest of the parts likely sourced from the Yak-9P or other miscellaneous manufacturing.

The P-47 has more documentation regarding its history since it was in active use up to the 70's and in the hands of a collector/restoration team after that. It was constructed in 1942 as a P-47D-2-RE and used by the USAAF under the SN 42-8205. Sometime around 1949, this plane was provided to the Bolivian Air Force under SN 007. It remained in service with the Fuerza Aerea Boliviana until 1976 when it was brought back to the US to be restored. In 1991, the "Big Stud 88" markings were applied, and it was finished in the marking style of Colonel Robert Baselers of the 325th Fighter Group, who were famous for their checkered tail paint scheme.

This is not the original Big Stud as flown by Col. Robert Baseler, it was just decorated with it's markings.

Anyways, here is a pic taken by yours truly of the IRL planes !!

[periwinkla]

Your art is so soft and lovely and I am always stunned by the softness and the colours and everything T_T. If you don't mind sharing, do you have any tips for someone who has just started drawing?

Anon!!!! ;-; !!!! Thank you so much!!! ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

Well... that's a hard question, so I'll divide it into points: -First of all, HAVE FUN!!! If you don't have fun with it, it's pointless! Stressing about 'getting better' will hinder your growth. And you won't *ever* be able to make what truly feels like 'you'. Also, when you LOVE something, the strong and positive emotion will help you remember what you learn (it's a psychological fact - I actually used it when teaching kids, I acted silly while I was explaining things because laughter would help them remember). -Observe the world around you. How things are made, how and why they have the shape they have. The way colors transition into one another in a sunset, or on a leaf, or even on your own skin. -Your art grows with you. As you experience new things, your art will grow. As you meet people, visit places, observe the world. As you grow as a person, you will find new things, new ideas and emotions you want to express via your art. -Your hobbies/the things you like influence what you draw. This is something I only noticed lately, but when I was a kid (elementary school age), I used to watch my sister play videogames. One of the first ones was FF X, and if you know the suteki da ne scene, you will get where my sappiness comes from. It's still my favourite animated cutscene of all time... just... the way the bodies move, it's so so beautiful.

-On that note, just because you're an artist it doesn't mean you can't get inspiration from things that aren't visual. Writing, music, etc... get inspiration from those also!

-You know the idea called 'consistent art style'? Well, hold it in your hand, look at it, and then defenestrate it. Outta the window it goes. Right now. -Keep a sketchbook! Why? Because that way, you can easily look back and see all the progress you've made! Your sketchbook can contain not only drawings, but also notes about stuff you learned, or maybe a cutout from something that inspires you... or even outfits, or swatches of color that you think look good together, etc. If you draw digitally, keep a digital sketchbook also (just make a folder and name the files p.01, p.02, etc. - maybe make a folder each year so that it doesn't 'burst' lol) In a way, a sketchbook is like a diary of your artistic life. -Keep a folder in your pc where you keep learning material, notes, or even art inspiration. Back it up every once in a while in case your pc goes kaput! NEVER forget to back up stuff.

Now this is for the technical stuff:

-Learn the fundamentals. Proportions of the body. Color theory. Perspective. <-these are the most important for now if you have just started drawing. There are many resources online, this is a list of useful links for artists of all skill levels, compiled by a wonderful soul: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_gg5Sdern2bn6wgfOh2xRrV8CwaVMIVBYvwSRfI6RCc/edit?pli=1&gid=0#gid=0 Personally, I used the following a lot: Figure drawing for all its worth by Andrew Loomis - book about how to draw the body (archive.org is your friend to find very useful pdfs) Proko and Marco Bucci - two artists on youtube I used to watch a lot during art school. I also used posemaniacs (a website) a lot. -Don't brush off traditional art. It's important you learn how real materials work. Especially with color! Pick three colors: magenta, yellow, and cyan (the primaries). Mix them up. Have fun playing with colors like kids would. Again, have fun! You'll learn lots. (Actually when I taught kids I did this. Also I picked a random colored pencil and asked them if there was more cyan or yellow or magenta in a color. That was particularly fun for them for some reason haha. And it's very VERY useful. Side note kids are so sweet I loved teaching them ;-;)

-On the topic of traditional art, please keep in mind pencils have different kinds of hardness (some draw bolder, some draw fainter) THAT MEANS that some might feel bad in your hand. As a general rule, I suggest not pressing hard because you might strain your wrist/arm, so I suggest something above a B (I personally like the 2B or 3B) but it depends on what feels comfortable for you. This might seem foolish but if it feels uncomfortable, you might draw worse than your potential if you use the wrong pencil for your hand. So experiment and see what feels best.

-Also if your body gets strained because you sit too much, consider drawing while standing up. It might be better. I personally only draw that way these days because of my health problems.

-Use references. Study them. Draw on top of them to understand the shapes of the body / object. Draw the subject again using those shapes. This is easier if you have a tablet obviously, if you don't you could either print them or use a fashion magazine or something like that. Sports magazines also, because you can learn how dynamic movement works.

^if this all seems overwhelming, do the following: get a reference, from anywhere you wish, and draw it with your favourite characters. There's nothing like obsession over some characters to learn how to draw. Trust me! :3c

Thank you again anon! And happy drawing! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

[merakiui]

Omg Cupid Parasite!! That's one of my favourite otome games because of how funny and unhinged it can be. If you do get around to playing it please tell us about your experience as much as possible(lol).

I love, love your writing Mera!! I am lowkey obsessed with your blog and the way you manage to come up with so many ideas and execute them so nicely. I'm very curious to know how what your journey was to becoming a writer. What pieces of fiction inspired you to start writing? Do you have any favourite novels? Also, do you think you'd ever want to publish your own novels someday? If so, what genre would you most want to delve into? Hope I'm not bombarding you with questions😭😭

You can count on it, anon!!! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ I will gladly share the full experience once I buy and play through it. >w< Meraki Game Review!!!!!

AAAAA thank youuuuUUUU!!!! T^T <3 I'm so happy you enjoy my writing and blog!!!!!!! Also,,, thank you for being curious about my writing journey!! :D you're not bombarding me with questions at all!! I love to ramble about writing hehe.

✧ what pieces of fiction inspired you to start writing?

A lot of fantasy and adventure novels! I used to read those genres obsessively when I was little. The first story I ever wrote was an adventure plot for a school assignment. It was 17 pages and even illustrated by yours truly lol. The page limit was 1-2, but eight-year-old Meraki couldn't tell a story in such short page length! I remember I used a piano bench as my table and I didn't stop writing and drawing until I was finished. I would snack on cucumber slices during the process. Even though it's such a random memory, I cherish it dearly because it was the first time I realized I was genuinely passionate about storytelling.

Anime/manga was also another big inspiration! In my early teenage years, I loved shows like Assassination Classroom, Black Butler, Watamote, Owari no Seraph, Pandora Hearts, Danganronpa, HETALIA. Omg,,,, what an era that was.........

Reading yan oc stories also inspired me to write yandere fics!! Before writing yan fandom, I wrote a lot of yandere ocs. They are my most beloveds. I adore my ocs. ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ

✧ do you have any favorite novels?

I do! I love the Red Eye series. It's a collection of various horror novels. I read them a lot in my early teenage years. They're all wonderfully written. So much atmosphere in each one! I really enjoy YA literature, especially YA horror. There are plenty of other novels (lots of horror classics), but I can't seem to recall all of them at the moment. ;;;; orz too many to keep up with...

✧ do you think you'd ever want to publish novels someday?

YES. OTL it's been my dream ever since I was little. I've always wanted to publish a novel.

✧ what genre would you delve into?

Definitely horror/thriller! I'd also like to write a fantasy/adventure series. I have plenty of novel plots/concepts and wips, so there is definitely plenty of material to work with.