#It's so much more common to try and shove in nuance to the abuser and to the toxic lover than in the way their victim recovers

[bonefall]

Honestly, the two most interesting parts of Bramblestar's character to me in cannon are his heritage to tigerstar and the effects of Ashfur's takeover of his body on his mental state. Does BB!ashfur basically just stick Bramblestar's spirit in a cage in the dark forest like in cannon? Because you could still do interesting things with that.

Bramblestar just being stuck in the dark forest, the place that both his father and brother were put in, and just being forced to do nothing but THINK about his life up until now. It could be the moment of reckoning for Bramblestar, were every delusion and lie he built for himself is unraveled by him as the possiblity that no one comes to save him gnaws at his mind.

And then he comes back to life and finds out that his body got put through a wood chipper and the imposter personally killed several of his clanmates with said body.

That's so interesting to think about, how does this affect him? How does he cope with all of this? Does he still try and be leader or is it basically a formality until he figures out how to make squirrelflight the new leader?

I don't rewrite arcs until they're done, but honestly, I simply don't want a "moment of reckoning" for Bramblestar. I include them for plenty of cats, like Spiderleg, Bumblestripe, Hawkfrost, but I absolutely don't want most characters to get one.

I don't really like it when every (or most) abusers realize and apologize for their actions and have a big turnaround. It kind of rubs me the wrong way that every crappy person has to "see the light" when so often, you don't get that. They live their whole lives acting this way, always insisting they never hurt you, and if they did, you deserved it.

You NEED to learn that they will INSIST it was your fault, when no, it wasn't. And they will never be sorry for what they did. That's it. You were hurt, and there's nothing deep or beautiful about your suffering.

And a person like that can really, truly be in pain (and they usually are, because being a crappy person sucks) and they can still not deserve your extended hand to pull them out.

Bramblestar already worries constantly about the possibility that no one will save him. It's why he plays games with his power. It's why he drives people away to watch them yoyo back. The fact that his family always comes back to him no matter what he does is a comfort. The Dark Forest Cage that Ashfur tosses him in didn't put new thoughts or feelings into his head.

So, we're going to see how ASC pans out, but I'm currently leaning towards Bramblestar clinging to power until the end. He even set up one last "fuck you" to Squirrelflight on the way out with his petty Nightheart Spy Plan, a textbook abusive set-up.

[asterjennifer]

Hi!

Can i request suit saeran pretend ray for get attention of the mc. he is just want some comforting of mc , but too "strong" for accept this.🤲 and I'm so love your se saeran with his unknown's energy.🥺

all the best to you

🎀 Nawwww thank you~ That's kind to say. And I like the idea, I mean, he even does that at the beginning of the BE2! So this is even something cannon lol 🎀

Disgraceful Truth

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: Suit Saeran x Reader

Category: Angst

Wanrnings: Referenced abuse, embrace of death

Word count: 2645

Author's Note: Suit's Ego is so fragile, I'm sure if this backfires, it would hurt him deeply..

Summary: You're a toy without brain. It shows so bad.

You even believe it when he dresses up like Ray.

But that funny plan inside his head backfired hard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're so stupid.

There's no brain behind that dull face of yours, only a big and empty void that's unable to comprehend the most obvious signals.

It's comedic, really. A toy so dense that it's unable to tell when life's at the edge of the cliff, like there's nothing in the whole wide world able to break it apart.

Seeking closure despite the constant reminders shoved back into your face, always ending up as some useless pile of nothing. There's no value for you, your mere existence is a disgrace.

Crying your eyes out. Saying sorry more times than the people at Mint Eye preached over their years living here. Trying so hard to play the poor, little victim of circumstances.

It shouldn't have surprised Saeran you're a female copy of Ray. That weakling and your whiny ass had so many things in common, it's like that dead spirit possessed your body instead.

The thought alone let his skin crawl with disgust. You're so weak and worthless, how have you survived for so long? It's nothing but a waste of space to keep you.

You're intentionally embarrassing him by keeping you. Your stupidity is an insult to both him and the Savior.

It's pissing him off so much.

That's why you deserved only the torture, maybe one day your bird-brain would come to understand just how meaningless your life had been from the day you're born.

Good. He thought while walking down the corridor, a resentful grin tugging on the corners of his mouth while pulling these clothes right. You deserve nothing but sadness.

Although he absolutely despised this clothing style, it's childish and ridiculous to the bone, he needed to wear them for one last time.

Afterwards he's going to burn them right in front of your ugly eyes, just like the rest belongings holding Ray's name. But this. He held back the low chuckle, the imagination alone's hideous.  

In front of the door, he knew all too well, Saeran stopped in order to breathe through. This will be fun! Once you realized what's actually going on, you'd cry the soul out of your body when getting tricked.

It came to him last night after hanging up on you, watching that undesirable face twist with a new wave of pain, he couldn't stop his laughter when seeing it. Did you forget he could watch? Or did you not understand at all?

But Ray's name left you in agony.

That nuance of a hacker's gone for good, Saeran told you hundreds of times. By now you stopped asking after Ray, but he knew. You're still waiting. Still praying for Ray to come back and rescue you.

The exact moment it made click, the idea so funny when remembering how pained you were by just mentioning that dead spirit. He could spare time and play with you for once.

You flinched by the soft knock at your door, you didn't expect someone to continue treat you like an human being. Huh...? Anxiety spread through your stomach. Something gut wrenching's going to occur, you're certain.

Ever since you gave into Saeran's cruel act of humiliation, you've been left with nothing but bad thoughts and feelings. The days became weeks, feeling like endless months.

Because Saeran didn't love you.

Ray had, as obsessive as his love had been. But the boy with a passion for flowers seemed to share the connection you discovered after a couple of days. It had been delightful to spend time with him.

It's shameful to fall in love with your kidnapper after a couple of days of sweettalk. Yet you couldn't help but long for him.

You didn't move from the spot on the bed, worried from head to toe someone other than Saeran's searching your attention. What if it was Rika? Coming to cleanse you by her own hands? Or sending one of her Believers to do it instead?

Ever since Saeran woke up, you experienced pure hurt. A kind of pain only he could put you through, considering he's still a part of Ray. He's the same man that once treated you like the beautiful princess.

"Come... in.."

Your voice's rough in your own ears, probably due to the fact you haven't spoken much since days. Saeran loved seeing you break down systematically, therefore he played all these different games with you.

No food until you practically laid dead on the ground, no escape from the room he escorted you as it's so lifeless and colorless. He called to taunt you, left messages to remind you of your nasty fate and had fun throwing insults at you.

But what actually hurt were the times he refused your affection. Called your words delusional when caring for him. Saeran said it himself, he's disgusted by you.

So why are you still alive?

Someone cracked the door open, yet your stare's glued to the sheets underneath your agonized body. Don't look.. Repeating these words for your own sake, you waited. Not wanting to risk any further safety.

"(N)...? Is it really you? Right?"

An ice-cold shiver ran down your spine, the unbelief paired with that little quavery tone of voice made you snap your head back up. No way... You're frozen in time, everything appeared to move in slow motion.

It's Ray.

His clothes, that formal combed hair he used to wear after your arrival. The blue rose attached to his magenta-colored suit and the black leather gloves covering his bad habit of chewing on nails. Even his eyes were at the bridge of tears.

At first you couldn't believe it, how was it possible? Saeran promised Ray's gone for good and that there's nobody who would ever care for you again. But he's clearly standing there, looking like he's about to suffer a panic attack.

"(N)! (N) I'm so, so sorry! You've been in pain, haven't you!?"

As he took a step closer to the bed, the paralysis wore off and allowed you to jump from the mattress. Your heart slipped into your pants the moment you managed to stumble froward into his arms.

He gasped, probably didn't expect you to fall around his neck, there it was again. The smell of fragrance resembling the flowers in the garden, the hesitation in the movements when coming close to you.

You cried by how happy you were.

"Ray...! Ray I've– I missed you so much!"

You sobbed and sniffed, the long days of degradation, abuse and pain rose all into your throat at once. Suffocating your lunges until it felt difficult to breathe in the first place.

"R-Ray... Ray I'm sorry— Ray p-please.. I'm so tired and painful.. I was thinking I die h-here.."

There's no going around speaking the fears and the worries that plagued your head day and night. Taking away the rest time in the moments where Saeran was too busy to answer or play with you.

"I-I thought– Saeran... He hates me! He just hates me s-so much a.. and– It hurts so bad. Do you h-hate me, Ray?? Why d-did he hate me?"

You clung onto his suit tighter, in the need of hearing his heart beat for stability. Feeling his body being alive and functional regardless who's possessing it. He's always so fragile and thin, you wished you could've cooked a meal for him.

"What did I d-do wrong..? I.. I just.. I'm so scared f-for us! I'm gonna die and– and you're still trapped in h-here, I don't know.."

Please tell me... Your inner voice begged to Ray, explaining just a tiny bit of the reason as to why Saeran came to hate you without ever getting to know you. He's a part of the other, surely he's holding the answer.

The whispers of yours hurt your heart.

Your eyes felt irritated by the immense number of tears, you're able to hear the tearing sound ripping through your chest, aware that you'll never get out of this place alive. Especially not with Rika's hand basically grabbing Ray and Saeran's neck.

"I w-wanted to help you... B-But Saeran doesn't like m-me.. I don't know what to do. I'm too weak to get you out anymore.."

The bitter taste spreading across your tongue's sickening to the stomach, it twisted painfully since it's running empty for quite a while. You're tempted to throw up all that's left inside at times. As Ray didn't respond, you nuzzled more into his arms.

Although he's not hugging you back, you put your arms carefully around his body underneath the suit. He's warm even though his body always got punished with cold showers. Comfort... It's the affection you've been trying to give for weeks.

"I-I'm sorry I can't.. You a-and Saeran, both. You.. You mean s-so, so much to me! But.."

The truth trailed off into silence. I wish I could've been stronger... Saeran cursed you dozens of times because of your weakness overweighting everything else of your personality. And sadly, he's correct. He saw what the truth is.

A smile filled with fatigue crept over your lips. Oh well... You thought absent-minded, thinking through all the possibilities that are open for Saeran and Ray, even if they couldn't see them yet.

You pressed your forehead to his shoulder, enjoying his presence after so long. It felt like ages the last time he touched you with fondness. Or smiled a sweet, shy smile into your direction.

"I don't think.. I stay alive much longer. But.. Saeran should have his dream come true, just like you. You both deserve it.."

It's not as bad when imagining his future outside, gifted with freedom to look at the clouds all day and enjoy ice cream. It looked so innocent, so cute. It's not so painful anymore.. Now that you're picturing his happiness.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

Unsure how Ray would react to such intimacy given the situation's not the best either, you couldn't stop yourself. It's been too long the last time you showed him love.

"Thank you... for coming again one last time. You can't stay, right? It's the side effects, isn't it? Regardless."

Surely his presence wouldn't last much longer. The times you were capable to get Ray back into the conscious state, he'd been gone just as fast.

And Saeran hated you even more.

That man probably felt aggression when thinking of you, by how much you messed up and continued to ruin. However, you couldn't stop. You wanted him to know you love him.

"Please... Be nice to Saeran, okay? He's just–.. He deserves compassion as well. He's a very strong fighter. And you are too!"

They're the same person, that's an acknowledgement you made too late, it took you a bit too much time to realize that Saeran shared the same fears and believers as Ray had, shown differently, yet they're still the same.  

Your strength to stand left your system, it's a real challenge keeping your eyes open. Be safe, Ray. Saeran. You slowly let go of his waist before falling backwards onto the bed again.  

"Haha, sorry. I'm.. a bit drained. But be kind to yourself, okay? Keep yourself safe. I'm sure... You find your way even without me."

Of course, the thought of dying in here's horrible. It left the hair on your neck to stand up and make you feel dirty in the process, but it's not the world.

He stormed out of the room.

Your vision turned from the jerking movements you've done, but it's clear that Ray turned on his heels to storm out of the room again.

A moment of silence passed you by, breaking your head as to why he ran out. Wasn't he concerned about you? Maybe he remembered work he's required to finish. Or Ray saw he needed to finally get away.

Your stomach dropped by the image flashing in front of your eyes. Rika punishing Ray for coming back out and see you, even. That's screaming trouble for the tender hacker.

Hopefully it's nothing like that... You thought, the voice inside your head as tired as you felt. After you laid back down, you fell asleep due to the lack of power in your body.

You've accepted that you're going to die.

Saeran closed the door of his room quietly, drawing attention of outsiders was the last thing he's looking forward to deal with. So, it did work. He realized.

You knew you're weak. You sounded like you've given up on the idea of staying alive much longer, you did understand the times he told you to rebirth again.

Saeran stared down at his hand, clamming around the doorknob while his head's heavier than steel. Show him compression? You, from all people, saying he deserves any kind of compassion?

You thought he's really Ray again, as he suspected. This is... His heart hammered against his chest because of these countless emotions rushing through his veins in seconds.

What you said, it wasn't what he expected. Not even remotely. You are still hopeful after all, Saeran figured you gave up on everything regarding yourself and him a long time ago. He thought you left the care behind. But you're still praying for him?

More importantly, for Ray and him?

The sweat ran down his temple, eyes focused on the doorknob albeit unable to receive anything other than blurred colors of his surroundings. No, that's how it should be!

You're supposed to never stop loving that idiot Ray, so Saeran gets the fun out of torturing you with these stupid feelings. You actually acknowledged your place even with hope sticking to your back like a parasite.

You're still you. Truly.

What should he do now? You've been giving the illusion of someone who gave up on life ages ago, yet the truth is the complete opposite. He's so sure no pain reached inside anymore, given how empty your responses were.

On the contrary, it's probably as painful as it had been the first day you met him. Saeran knew the agony of never-ending hurt like the back of his head.

The elixir rose up his throat without warning, Saeran lifted his head a bit in order to make sure he wouldn't throw it up. Fuck.. He hissed through his teeth. He'd been guessing wrong.

You did fell for him along this ride of fear. You tried to get him out of here, regardless if it's Ray or him you're facing. There's buried hope and love hidden away because of his deeds. You're hoping, despite him ripping the ground from under your feet.

There's light, the same that had greeted and embraced Ray. You're sure you're going to die soon, all due to his actions. But even that's not enough to make you hate him.

In fact, you thought he hated you.

Saeran lowered his head, breathing in the air that's thicker than blood. His fingers freezing cold around the burning piece of metal. He should go back and work, there's still tons waiting to be finished.

I can't.. He's frozen in place, unsure why so, even. The more he thought about it all, the hotter the anger boiled up and bubbled under his skin.

You really did care, it's not empty words in order to wrap him around your finger and take advantage of him. How could it be? After what took place there, you thought he's Ray. And you trusted Ray with everything.

Saeran gritted his teeth, ignoring the heat steaming off his eyes and burning his retina. He admitted bitterly. You did love him, didn't you. And you still do, don't you. You loved Ray as much as you loved Saeran.

There's a nothingness around his room, quietly and slowly creeping in at him. He shouldn't have done this trick and make you spill your heart, or at least reveal to what kind of monster you're talking to. But you didn't realize.

You're so stupid.

[popculturebuffet]

Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers Part 3: Storkules in Duckburg! aka THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES TERRIBLE BUT WELL MEANING ROOMATE OUT OF MYTH

Hello all you happy people! And welcome and welcome back to Of Moons, Millionares and Mothers, my look at the season 2 arcs of Ducktales! This arc was paid for by WeirdKev27 and I truly enjoy his support. if you want to know how to commission your own reviews or to get a guarnateed review of me of your choice from me a month, stick around to the end. I realized that shoving all my plugs in up top may be driving people away and while I DO make them because I want to make a living off this, i’ts not fair to those of you who simply can’t afford to buy a lot of extra shit like myself to keep shoving it in your face. 

Previously on the Louie Inc Arc, Louie, after believing he had no skills and it was a matter of when not if he ws going to die, found his talent: seeing all the angles and thus being Sharper than the Sharpies. With newfound confidence and a chip on his shoulder from Scrooge saying he could one day be a bigger success than Scrooge himself, founding Louie Inc as a result. But what is Louie Inc? Does he actually have a plan or a bunch of buzzwords. And what does STORKULES, MANLY GAY OUT OF MYTH have to do with any of this? Join me under the cut to find out. 

We open with Louie giving Scrooge his sales pitch that is essentially...

Naturally Scrooge buys none of it. I mean he’s somewhere in his hundreds, he’s probably seen about 80 thousand pitches that amount to “I have no plan but give me money anyway”. There’s a reason there’s a Butch Hartman shaped crater on the lawn from where he threw his ass out. 

Scrooge does mentor the lad, or at least attempt to pointing out he needs an actual product or service (Louie rejects the idea of a lemonade stand as too easy), or as he puts it “Find a problem and create a solution”. 

While the basic PRINCIPAL isn’t bad, find something people want or need and provide it, phrasing it that way sounds like “find a problem people are having and exploit the shit out of that problem for fun and profit.” Granted that IS a guiding principal of business, it’s just not something an uncle should be teaching his kids. They should be teaching them about the anime and cartoons they grew up with as I do with my niece and nibling. 

He does show him a valid example of this in action in the form of Donald. Turns out Donald has found a good way to make money while he looks for a job, can relate: since Duckburg is facing a housing shortage, likely because several square blocks probably get destroyed by Scrooge’s Adventures, Glomgold’s Schemes, Superhero Battles, whatever creation went horribly wrong for Gyro, etc at least once a week. So he’s taken it upon himself to offer up the spare room to whoever can rent it.. and to steal Scrooge’s chandelier which even when caught he still takes anyway. Scrooge.. you called the guy a god-damn moocher in the season premiere, despite the fact he lives there soley because YOU offered and because he’s you know, being responsible and staying by his boys so they have their father figure around. So yeah I feel he’s doing this partly out of spite as is the McDuck way. I mean if your going to call him a freeloader just for being a responsible parent, then he’s going to take it up a damn notch.

Scrooge proceeds to laugh off Louie wanting a million dollars and gives him a dime instead because of course he was. Seriously Louie there are two other billionaires in town who are FAR dumber and far more easily swindled. Just go get star up capital from them. Hell with Glomgold all you’d have to do is tell him it’d upset scrooge and he’d literally throw money at you. Or give you a shark full of money. He needs the shark back though. He’s family. 

Meanwhile Donald prepares for his new tenant and finds.. THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES! Who to his mounting horror as he realizes it, IS the new tenant. And who throws him into the sun. Cue credits. 

So after Donald somehow survives being thrown into the sun, Storkules explains why he’s here: Zeus responded to his son playing the lute a lot like any rational reasonable 

No of course he responded to the “crime” of “playing his instrument a lot” with sending a swarm of harpies on the town then blaming Storkules for it and casting him out. What’s most shocking is not the action, this is honestly him staying the course of being a fucking disgrace, but that Zeus somehow ISN’T the biggest asshole i’ve dealt with this week. No that honor is reserved as always for this bitch:

Keep in mind she manages to be this obnoxious in only TWO scenes. Also keep in mind I had to put up with Julie for a MUCH larger chunk of the previous two volumes I covered before volume 5 yesterday for my Scott Pilgrim Retrospective and she is ALWAYS like this and you now feel my pain. 

This does create a problem though: Zeus casts Storkules out until he’s a responsible adult.. and thus paints Storkules as the bad guy... in a situation where the only other person in the story sent a swarm of HARPIES down at him for simply playing his music too loud. It just dosen’t work as a catalyst: Storkules objectively did nothing wrong. The only person he annoyed was a person who clearly dosen’t love, respect or like his son in any way shape or form anyway and essentially assaulted him and a bunch of innocent people via harpie and then cast him out. Zeus is an abusive asshole and i’ts weird the narrative sides with HIM and not our well meaning doofus. Zeus being an asshole with harpies is not a bad catalyst for the episode, and the harpies being unleashed is used well.. it’s just not a good catalyst for THIS story to try and portray an abuser as in the right. And make no mistake Zeus is a domestic abuser: he had his son mind controlled to try and MURDER innocent people, something Storkules begged him not to do, sent a swarm of creatures after him for the crime of playing his music too loud and in his next episode manipulatives Storkules sad emotional state for personal gain. Why would you try and paint THIS jackass as in the right?

Speaking of painting this jackass in the right sadly.. this episode does not do my boy donald justice. In most episodes he’s pretty nuanced and i’ts fair enough he’d be frustrated by Storkules as a roomate. Storkules has little sense of personal space, breaks his stove thinking theirs hydra in it, makes a mess of the kitchen making them a meal, and in general clearly dosen’t know how to live with a roomate much less in modern society. He has valid concerns and the episode COULD have used it that way.. but he’s also horribly impatient with Storkules. He refuses to get the guy just hasn’t had to live in a modern society and dosen’t know HOW to function in it and instead of helping him just gets mad again and again and gets really pissed when it’s clear Storkules dosen’t have a job and didn’t consider paying rent. He’s not WRONG to want him to pay Rent, despite what ironically the musical Rent would try and have you believe, but he dosen’t have any patience with the guy. And stork isn’t nearly coming on as strong as he normally does. The worst he does is cook the guy lunch and bring his donald fan art with him. Which we don’t see but I am assuming is mostly naked. What i’m saying is for once that while still bombastic, Storkules isn’t trying to force a relationship/friendship on him and simply wants to learn t be an adult from his best friend.. and Donald isn’t bothering teaching him.

Asking for rent or for him not to destroy the stove is fine, but not explaining WHY he needs either of those things or why he needs boundaries, he makes a roomate list, isn’t helping the guy. And this would be fine... but the episode dosen’t call Donald out on it for no real reason. It feels like it’s setting up for a “you should learn to wokrk with someone instead of just screaming at them aseop” that never comes and like with Zeus takes his side because shutup. I’d also LIKE to say this is the only time the writers reduced one of the cast to a caracture of themselves.. but I can’t.  Several episodes in season 3 forgot Louie’s character development and another episode in season 2, The Duck Knight Returns!, somehow reduced both Scrooge and Dewey to parodies of themselves with Scrooge SOMEHOW, despite Della as stubborn as she is being in his care and by his side for decades and Movies bein ga huge business, not having seen a movie since the 1920′s and not knowing how they work and Dewey being reduced to just hyperactive moron. It isn’t as common as other shows like say Regular Show, The Loud House or, for the exact reason I lost intrest, Rick and Morty, but I still expect better, especially since they went into this season KNOWING Donald would be gone for half of it and this would likely be one of his only spotlight episodes. 

Back at the good part of the plot, Louie is having a company meeting aka already treating Huey and Webby like his employees. Webby of course is glad to sign on, if little help in actually coming up with a product while Huey just wants to nope out. And if your wondering why Dewey isn’t involved Louie outright says he’d make a bad employee and while Dewey rises from his bed to object.. he stops halfway to opening his mouth and concludes he has a point. Best gag of the episode. Louie being louie easily cons Huey into staying by making Webby his charts officer. 

So the three have a corporate retreat at Funso’s... granted they don’t have a product but Louie figures this might help. Huey.. still wants out of this and suggest since they already spent what they had on ski ball “Company over?”. It’s clear that Huey just sees this as another one of Louie’s short sighted schemes... and while he’s not ENITRELY wrong, Louie has genuine ambition.. he just has no earthly idea what he’s doing and is shooting way too high.. but for understandable reasons. 1) He’s 11 at this point. 11 year olds aren’t great at business strategy or reinging it in. 2) he wants to live up to what Scrooge said to prove he can be successful and really be worth something like his mom was. 

But sometimes fate throws you one and the harpies bust in. And while Louie wants to do nothing and hope they go away Huey and Webby spring into action.. as does Storkules, who had to leave but warns donald there’s Orzo in the slowcooker and to not open it “LEST THE PASTA FAIL TO ABSORB THE BROTH!” Which is just.... Chris’ best line dleivery the episode. He says it like he’s saying the title of an old Stan Lee and Jack Kirby comic, i’ts wonderful.

So our heroes defeat them and Louie steps in to charge for the service and quickly comes up with a company idea and name “Harp-B-Gone” (A Subsidary of Louie Inc). Louie hires Storkules on the spot. Storkules proudly tells Donald he has a job the next day and goes off to it. What follows is our heroes hilarously shooting a commerical with Storkules playing a baby to promote themselves so they can help who needs it. They just need to find out what they want.. and thanks to the JWG and the harpies stealing it find out they go after people’s most treasured posessions   Cue Ghostbusters-Style Montage

And this isn’t just me saying thing. The Rewriting History Entry (Which as a series weirdly stops around mid-season 2 and I don’t get why frank hasn’t gone back and finished it since) states they specifically based this whole operation on ghostbusters and the entire sequence of our heroes cleanin up the town reminds me of it. The highlight of it is a glomgold cameo where he’s kidnapped.. and refuses to pay so Louie just lets him go. And were this an innocent person who couldn’t afford it, i’d call him a monster.. but it’s glomgold. he brought this on himself.. and also sues himself for it. Wonder if he won. 

So with their stars rising, our heroes get booked on the hottest show in town: Dewey Dew-Night! I had honestly forgotten there was a Dewey Dew-Night segment in there, and delighted I get to talk about this recurring bit.  It’s one of the shows funniest runners and just perfectly FITS Dewey: of course the most egotistical and energetic of the kids would not only want to be a late hnight host but make up his own show. I also love the slow evolution of it: it started as something everyone clearly knew about but he stlill tried to keep hidden, slowly escalated to him allowing the rest of his siblings (Webby very much included) and the giant man who stalks his uncle in, and by later this season he’s putting the show online in the web shorts and gladly shooting it into space, with Season 3 having him spend the first half of let’s get dangerous making a documentary that includes an episode of the show featuring Darkwing. It’s a small thing sure, but it’s the little things like this that make the show special. 

The show does reveal a problem though as it turns out they’ve GOT all the harpies and while Storkules merely wanted to help, Louie points out they need more to keep a buisness going and naturally never bothered to ask Storkules just how many there were. They need SOME plan to get going. Webby submits a legitamte and great idea, training the harpies as she’s been trying to do in the background of the episode and aside from a hole in the floor they are starting to listen. But Huey is an ass about it and not only shoots it down saying let’s keep the dangerous creatures contained, even though A) he has no idea WHERE they’ve been kept so he can’t verify it’s safe, and since i’ts Donald’s Closet no no it’s not. and B)There’s no where he knows of to keep them. He isn’t aware of the other bin till next season. and C) it’s not ehtical to keep creatures locked up forever epsecially since while the harpies are dangerous they arent’ MALEVOLENT and are clearly acting on instinct. oh and for D) at least she has a plan to keep the company going instead of just wanting to end this and cash out. 

Which Huey tries to.. but naturally Louie spent all their money on...

So their broke.. and Storkules has no rent money and feels like a failure despite having done NOTHING wrong. We do get a clever little nod to Disney’s hercules though “I”m not a hero, i’m a zero”. Webby rightfully glares at Louie who decides to fix it... by sneaking into Donald’s house that night to free the harpies. 

Though to the shows credit it’s a VERY bad idea, and Storkules coming in mid attempt and congradulating Louie when he lies about checking the door gets the kid to come clean. And it’s a nice character moment: He could still go through with it.. but it’s clear he realizes just HOW low he was about to sink to save his own skin and that as much as Storkules WANTS a paycheck and deserves one, it’s not worth hurting people to get it. Louie tries to justify after this.. but can’t. 

Unforutnately Donald took a lot of stupid pills this episode, yells about his no pets rule and frees them instead of you know, THINKING for five minutes.

So yeah NATURALLY Donald is an angry shit about it , refusing to actually TALK to Storkules about this or maybe admit this is partly HIS OWN FAULT. Yes their both at fault, Storkules shoudln’t of shoved a bunch of harpies in a closet. That’s a classic blunder. But Donald still opened it and isn’t called out on taking zero responsibility. Huey sees the fracas and just takes down their days without an accident placard, good stuff and he and webby arrive to help. Donald fights with Storkules and Storkules worries about loosing his friend.. lead to them going after the thing he values most aka donlad and hyjacking the house boat, though the kids manage to get aboard. 

As Storkules saves Donald, Louie realizes the most precious thing he has is  his merch and willingly gives it, and his buisness up to save everyone. It’s good character stuff and shows that despite his problems with greed, Louie IS a good kid and will do the right thing. It’s what seperates him from the Rouges Gallery the family faces: He has FLEXIBLE morals but he has morals when it comes down to it. So everyone tosses the stoff to help direct the hapries and make it home tying them up. Donald has a heart to heart with Storkules and agrees to help him find another place, but still considers him a friend and they hug. Awww.  One intresting thing I DID find out from rewriting history is they originally fully intended to have Storkules STAY on the houseboat. He was going to be a permenant member of the household, at least as far as Season 2 was concenred and plans were made for several episodes down the road: the whole bit with him in “The Golden Spear” was simply because he lived there, he was going to be the one Della met in the houseboat, obliviously guilting her about what she’d missed, and he was going to set off the kids subplot in “Whatever Happened to Donald Duck?”

This ended up not happneing for logistical reasons: Frank, and I swear this was the term he used, felt they already had the perfect Himbo in Launchpad and it was just too much HImbo energy for the two to coexist without one taking the others screen time or neither getting a lot. 

The next reason was having a god around simply broke the story: He cited the gilded man from “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!” as a specific example. There were just too many hoops to jump to have him not break any story he should be around for.  Finally with Della being added to the cast soon there simply wasn’t room in the main cast. Della brought it up to 9, Storkules would make it 10, and as i’ve gone on about the show already had trouble ballancing it’s cast, something Frank admitted to. Adding him would both be too big a stiatus quo change and be one on top of the massive one of Della joining the cast. So he was dropped back to recurring and only showed up one more time. And while it was the right call I am dismayed he didn’t show up for the whatever happened to donald duck subplot and it does feel very weird he never adresses Donald being gone despite, at least for season 2, apparently living in Duckburg. Otherwise though as funny as this wouldv’e been.. yeah it was the right call. 

Scrooge returns... having been absent all episode because otherwise it wouldn’t work and easily saw Louie loosing it all coming.. but gives him a can of lemonade for his troubles and comforts the boy. The heart of htis arc and what makes it work at it’s best.. is these two. Scrooge GENUINELY wants to help Louie see his potetial successor in buisness: oh sure adventure wise he’s throughly covered.. but Webby, Dewey and Della all are more focused on the addventure part and that’s where their passion and talent lies, Huey’s better at science and given his close frinedship with fenton and how much that part of things seems to truly inspire him, i’ts what he was born for, and Donald just wants a regualar life and can’t manage his own life much less a company. 

Louie is the only one in his family whose the right fit to inhereit that part of his legacy and I feel that’s why he takes a special intrest in him and webby over the other two: While he loves all of them and will clearly again leave a piece of his fortune and empire to all of them, Webby is the most like him, as we later find out not coincidentally in the slightest, when it comes to adventuring and curosity and a love of exploration. But Louie is the most like him in other ways; He’s cynical, money driven and passionate. Scrooge simply wants him to be as good a person and buisnessperson as he can be and is trying to push him in the right direction. And does so here by pointing out that failure isn’t a huge problem..it happens, comes with the terriotiry and as we’ve seen with life and times, even with portions of it clearly not happening in this universe, he failed a LOT to get here. What matters is that he tries and tries to do it the right way. 

Scrooge also sympathizes as he was buying a lemonade company in cape suzette, giving Louie the can as a present... but laments there’s no cheap effective way to deliver the lemons. Louie notices the harpies going after the can after he throws it and Webby controlling them with it and muses that theyd idn’t think about what THEY wanted.. nad rightfully gets punched across the lawn by Webby, whose had to spend an entire episode having her surrogate brothers talk down to her and ignore her valid ideas. She dosen’t even open her eyes she just bops him one.

So we end with Scrooge having enlisted the hapries, Louie trying to take credit again and both realizing they might just steal the lemons instead of work for them. Ha ha ha their going to get so sued. 

Final Thoughts: This one was mediocre. It has some good points, Louies arc continues to fascenate me, Huey’s done with this shit attitude is hilarous, and Storkules is at his best in this episode: his crush on Donald is toned down from this..

To this

To the point I could see shipping them off this one if Storkules episode didn’t have him do eveyrthing short of .. well see above.  So it’s not WITHOUT merit: I love me a ghost busters style plot, there are great jokes and Chris Dimatopolis is a gem as always. Glad he’s getting work after this show on Invincible and hope he gets to play Darkwing again some day. But the Donald stuff and the fairly predictable plot drag this one down. I’ts fairly obvious they’ll run out of harpies, Louie will have spent the money and they’ll somehow get free. It’s not a terrible episode but it’s it’s sandwiched story wise between two straight up classics on both sides: the previous two episodes were even better than I remembered and the next two are incredibly good: Whateve Happened to Della Duck?! is one of their finest hours and The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck, while not making my best of list for the series as a whole is still one of my favorites for the season.  It’s just disapointing this one wasn’t nearly as good as I remmebered and it’s understandable why I forgot almost all of it, unlike the previous two episodes. Thankfully as I said better’s over the horizon.

NEXT TIME ON OF MOONS, MILLIONARES AND MOTHERS: I’m taking a break for a week. One of two weeklong breaks for the arc, the other being the first week of July where i’m on vacation anyway (Though i’ll be doing the episode I would’ve done for that week the week before to keep the pace up, so no worries),

 As for why, it’s my utmost honor to announce GOOF WEEK! Goof Week is a weeklong celebration of Goofy’s birthday. The idea came about because as I do for the big three, I intended to just do a shorts special. But Kev , the guy who made this very review possible, suggested doing the two part Goof Troop pilot. And since kev pays for a house of mouth episode a month anyway and thaks to you lovely people I hit my patreon stretch goal to review the goofy movie, I figured “why not make a week out of it. Hence Goof week. So next week we’ll have a review of the two part pilot for Goof Troop, the special Sports Goof, the House of Mouse episode Super Goof, your regularly schedule shorts spectacular, with The Goofy Movie for the grand finale! yaaahoooooieeee! 

When we come back i’ll be shuffling episodes around slightly so I can do the Della comics from the Ducktales Tie-In Comic before her debut and in time for Donald’s own theme week in June, i’ll be saving “Whatever Happened to Della Duck?” for the week after Donald Week. Instead next we get a fun wild west adventure as Scrooge tells a story of his outlaw days, his tension with goldie and his encounter with a certain robber baron as John D Rockerduck FINALLY makes his screen debut. Yee-Haw!

If you liked this review, subscribe and follow for more and consider joining my patroen, patreon.com/popculturebuffet. I have exclusive reviews, my most recent duck based one being an obscure carl barks story about wigs and the boys attempting to murder a guy with a blow gun, and your contribution helps me reach my goals and thus gets everyone, patreon or not, a bunch of neat new reviews. If you get me to 20 dollars a month, i’m currently at 15, EVERYONE will get a monthly darkwing duck reviews, reviews of the two remaning ducktales 87 mini series including the origin of GIZMOOOODDUUUUUCCCKKKK, and a review of the Danny Phantom movie The Ultimate Enemy. And with the month running out NOW’S the time to join. YOu’ll also get to pick one of the shorts for my Donald Duck birthday specail next month, so if you want to join in NOWS the time. But wether you can or you can’t, thank you for reading, i’ts been a pleasure. 

[everythingthatdidntfitelsewhere]

As someone that has lived Rue’s story

And as someone really not that far removed from it despite how many lifetimes ago it seems, I can't say how weird it is to really "see myself" on screen for the first time.

It is so damn refreshing too see the topics of addiction and recovery through the lens of a young person tackled authentically. When I first heard about Euphoria, I was intrigued given how much I related to the premise, but years of disappointment had me hesitant. I've seen many shows over the years try to tackle these topics, only to fall flat and teeter between glamorizing or overdramatizing, often turning into a shortlived after school special ripped right from the D.A.R.E. curriculum or devolving into a beautiful tragedy. Despite the increased visibility of those in recovery over the last few years, many of the creators/writers/producers/advisors etc. brought onto these series had struggled with addiction as young people, but entered recovery well into their adulthood, therefore lacking experiences specific to entering recovery as a teen. Needless to say, when I heard Sam Levinson's life story, I got hopeful, and that hope seems to have been well placed. The man lived through this shit, and it shows.

Something I'm particularly loving is the depiction of Rue's relationship to Jules and the nuances of it all. For those unfamiliar, it's common in the rooms of Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous to be told not to enter into a new relationship in your first year of recovery. It's a suggestion commonly ignored by the younger and older alike, especially by those trying to get into recovery for the first time. Heartbreak is a pain pertinent to the human experience, but for a group of people lacking the tools to cope and the experience to recognize when they're in trouble, that emotional ruin has life or death implications. As dramatic as that may sound, relapse has never been more dangerous with the emergence of fentanyl.

Nonetheless, there are many good reasons why remaining forseeably single is recommended, some of which revolves around the tendency for those struggling with drug addiction to replace their substance of choice with a number of things, healthy or not. Rather than using their newfound free time to work on themselves and their recovery, they instead transfer their obsession to anything from food, to sex, shopping, or relationships. Where once they fixated on getting and using drugs, now they may mood alter and avoid pervasive feelings of boredom, hopelessness, loneliness, etc. by inserting themselves into a relationship. Often times the person they are dating will also be troubled in some way, so they will alternate between rescuing each other, forgetting about their own problems by trying to fix someone else's. Although it is normal to share your struggles with a partner and them walking beside you, that is much different than needing them to carry you and coming to rely upon that, as you never learn to stand on your own two feet in the event that person can no longer be there. If you are the person looking to be carried, you are putting far too much pressure on another person, not to mention selling yourself short. If you are the person doing the carrying, you are robbing that person of their independence

THIS IS TOXIC. THIS IS CODEPENCY. Toxicity in a relationship can be subtle and innocent, it doesn't have to be abusive or malicious. As a young person, I had it in my head that being saved by another person was what true love looked like, like Freddie and Effy in Skins. They did love each other, but they were also extremely codependent, and there is nothing healthy about that, and it's so cool to not only see that being explored on Euphoria, but not being romanticized by the creators and viewers alike.

Then there is Rue's friendship with Fez. God, does addiction ever have a way of twisting things up. That scene where she flips out on him, my heart broke for so many reasons, such an amazing perfomance of that desperation, but yes, I say friendship very purposely, because that is another nuance not often depicted. Drug dealer usually = bad person, addict usually = bad person. People often say you can't care about someone and _______ . In this case, that Fez can't possibly deal the drugs that are fueling Rue's addiction and really be a friend, or that Rue can't be funding the criminal behavior that may land him a lengthy jail sentence and really care about him. That's an easier reality to accept than that someone can both love you and hurt you, can do bad things and be a good person. In addiction, I hurt the people I loved one way or another every single day, and some days I could keep that shoved out of my mind, but other days it made me want to pull my own hair out. It's so cool to see that they're showing Fez is a good guy that legitimately cares for Rue despite the contradictory behavior leading up to him finally doing the most loving thing a person can possibly do: refusing to enable someone even if it means they hate you for it. I'm sure we can all agree Rue is better angry at him and alive than happy with him and dead.

But yeah, I mean there are some minor screw ups in Euphoria, like the fact that they're still using the terms OCs/Oxycontin (which is a brand name that hasn't been produced since 2010) in reference to oxycodone and not to fake, pressed pills often containing fentanyl. Also, the fentanyl storyline where Rue took it from Fez's supplier does not reflect the typical climate of fentanyl on the streets that is responsible for thousands upon thousands of overdose deaths the last few years if that was what they were going for. Rue took some gel from a patch, which is dangerous all the same, but pharmaceutical grade, making it marginally easier to dose. The stuff on the streets now isn't pharmaceutical grade, but created in a lab and then mixed by black market suppliers into powders, so no quality control on dosing whatsoever. It's so toxic that two grains of salt worth is enough to kill someone without a tolerance, hence the public health crisis.

That's just me being picky though, all and all I can't complain one bit!

[everlarkficexchange]

Feast Your Eyes - Chapter 3

by: @lovely-tothe-bone

Written by: @ra3lynn3 @savvylark @lovely-tothe-bone

Prompt 91: Peeta as the tatted, ex-rocker owner of bakery chain (like in in DC-Balto area called dangerously delicious pies). Katniss is an attached (engaged or otherwise unavailable) food critic or reporter doing a piece on him but she and P can’t deny the attraction. Angst and such ensue. [submitted by Anonymous]

Rating: M; later change to E

Warnings: References to child abuse, sexual innuendos, eventual smut

A/N: Surprise! Happy Friday! Here is the rest of Everlark’s Meet Ugly to kick off the weekend. It’s a lot more fun, and will probably make a lot more sense, if you read Chapter 2 again ; ) If you haven’t read any of FYE yet there is a link on Ch 2 to Ch 1. I want to thank @savvylark who had a fairly heavy hand in writing the actual dessert tasting. She took my fragmented descriptions and dialogue and created flowing structure. It was amazing how with such broken, random sentences she somehow knew what my brain couldn’t translate to the page. Together we tweaked and tweaked it to perfection, even up to last night! Her and @ra3lynn3 are absolutely amazing, I feel very lucky to be creating this with them.

Regaining her senses, she shoved her trembling hand into his large warm rugged one.

“Katniss Everdeen. Thank you for finally showing up.” She was not going to let him off the hook, no matter how attractive he looked.

Peeta’s cheeks flushed, “My apologies, I was held up at a bakery sponsored event.”

Katniss was vaguely aware that his voice resembled the one from the phone calls but struggled to reconcile what she had just witnessed of him with the kind way in which he spoke.

“Do you normally make a habit of overbooking yourself?” Katniss remarked.

“Not if I know a woman so charming as yourself is involved.” Peeta laughed lightly and winked at the silver eyed beauty.

“Mr. Mellark let’s –”

“Peeta.”

“Fine, Peeta,” she enunciated through clenched teeth. “I generally record my interviews, so if you could just sign this release form, stating you’re ok with that, we can finally get started.” Katniss tossed the paper on the desk and plopped onto a chair, preparing the recording app.

“No problem. Fire away when you’re ready.” After signing Peeta leaned back and checked his phone as he rubbed a finger at his temple.

“How about you tell me what that entrance out there was all about?”

His eyebrows rose at the question, then he nodded in understanding. “You don’t know who I am, do you?” he queried with a hint of a smile.

Katniss shook her head, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

“I’m a musician, I played lead guitar in a band called Nightlock.” He paused waiting for any flicker of recognition. “We were regionally popular with a solid fan base all over Washington, which turned out to be incredibly beneficial when I moved forward with the bakery.” He explained.

“So that fanfare is part of your routine?” Katniss cocked a brow.

“Ah, no. I mean, that is a…ah…common reaction, yes.” He paused, rubbing at the back of his neck. Gone was the charismatic rocker she had been confronted with, the change unsettled her.

“I usually avoid the front as much as possible. I mostly handle special orders and events, plus teach skills to my employees. When I’m here I am locked away in my own world; measuring, mixing, kneading, icing, piping, sculpting, molding, painting.” Peeta’s cerulean eyes burned brighter as he spoke.

Still, Katniss refused to dismiss his display earlier. “Then why did you come through the front today? Trying to show off?”

“No!” Peeta denied with his hands stretched out. He shook his head and looked down with a laugh, “I misplaced my store keys.” He admitted.

“So how does this bakery run if the owner isn’t on time and can’t keep track of his keys?” She challenged. Katniss was all too familiar with this type of behavior, this pattern of thoughtlessness especially set her off.

“If you must know, I was swarmed by a herd of tiny children.” Peeta deadpanned.

Katniss scowled, “What does that have to do with either of those things?”

“Have you ever wrestled your way out of a mob of sugar high six-year old’s? I’m lucky to have made it out alive. Apparently, the store keys weren’t so lucky, they were discovered at the scene of the attack.” He chuckled.

Messalla’s voice interrupted them, “Freshest possible, boss.”  He slid two plates filled with warm samples of baked goods on to the desk. The bakery manager flashed Katniss a proud smile and walked back to the kitchen.

Katniss admired the various confections, longing to dive in after the forty minute delay.

“Look,” Peeta continued, “you just caught me on an off day. You wouldn’t be writing this piece unless Decadent had generated enough buzz to catch your interest, am I right?” She reluctantly tore her eyes away from the delicacies to give him a half hearted nod of agreement.

Peeta smirked, “So, I must be doing okay, especially if The Feast sees fit to do a special interest feature on my bakery and I, rather than the normal dessert spread?”

Katniss nodded again but refused to look him in the eye. She was letting her nerves over the assignment and her frustration with Thom wind her up, taking it out on Peeta. She drew in a slow deep breath, willing herself to give Peeta Mellark a chance, even if he was a smidge arrogant–.

Peeta nudged a plate closer to Katniss interrupting her thoughts, “You’re the food critic, now is your chance to find out that we aren’t famous for our motorcyclist ex rocker. I’ll let the desserts speak now.”

Katniss glanced up through her lashes and found him smiling patiently. She eyed the plate and decided to start with a bite of black forest cake. Before she could contain it, a low moan slipped out. Peeta snickered as she clapped a hand over her mouth.

“I guess that means you’re convinced I’m worth your time?” He leaned back in his chair with a smug look on his face and laced his fingers together behind his head.

“Your wickedly delicious desserts are worth my time.” She corrected, swiping another bite of cake. “One delicious sample won’t earn your bakery a glowing review though, Pastry Man.”

Katniss froze, wondering where the words had come from and how it had sounded to Peeta but he was already moving on so she quickly dismissed the thought.

“Ok try this.” He handed her a portion of apple fritter, his fingertips grazed across her fingers as she scooped it up.

She pretended not to notice the tingling that unfurled where their hands brushed. She did notice Peeta’s concentrated gaze, Katniss foolishly suspected for a moment that he felt a thrill as well.

The journalist cleared her throat in an attempt to regain her resolve, “What else do you have for me to taste?”

At Katniss’s words Peeta gave her a look that revealed her double entendre. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth to try to explain just what she meant but Peeta graciously began a rundown of all the treats, pointing out Decadent’s best sellers. “These cheese buns are always sold out before closing even though we make two batches per day.” The lightly seasoned buttered cheese bun seemed to dance over her tongue. Katniss’s delight was as evident as it was contagious.

Peeta bit his lip at her pleased expressions.

As colorful as they were fruity, the tarts did not disappoint, with just the right combination of sweet to tang. Katniss couldn’t believe how incredible each one was, like bursts of spring and summer. Since her hiring at The Feast Katniss had had more than her fair share of cupcake tastings but even these simple creations were impressive to her astute palette. The croissants were beyond ideal, the crispy flakes shattering to reveal tender insides. She nibbled muffin bits, surprised at the unique flavor nuances in even the typically mundane classics. On and on it went, every dessert morsel as scrumptious and unique as the previous.

This baker was especially innovative, possessing a keen and discerning palate for flavor harmonies. She reasoned that Peeta Mellark was in no need of attention and praise though, once the article was printed he would see the flattering words.

“Well now I know they don’t line up around the block just for a glimpse of that pretty face of yours.” She teased the baker, reluctant to admit her true thoughts.

“You think I have a pretty face?” Peeta bantered back, batting his eyelashes.

She scowled and rolled her eyes while Peeta laughed at her reaction.

“So what’s your favorite so far?” Peeta asked.

“The triple chocolate eclair, I could live off those.” She groaned. “And the cheese buns. It’s a crime for one person to be so talented.”

Peeta’s hand covered his mouth but Katniss did not miss the earnest smile barely covered by his fingers.

“I worked hard to learn my crafts, Katniss. None of this has come easy. I committed all my time to honing each skill I possess.”

Katniss considered him for a long moment then returned to her notebook to compose the last of her reviews.

“So why a bakery?” She asked around a mouthful of cinnamon roll, licking icing from her fingertips.

Peeta’s eyes flitted away just before a bright grin overtook his face, “Baking runs in my family, on my dad’s side. The Mellark’s have always owned a bakery.”

Peeta’s voice grew wistful as he handed her half a pizzelle, “I learned how to bake cookies before I learned how to read. A couple years ago the band was ready to retire. I was ready to get back to baking and everything just sorta lined up. I catered a few high-end events, the right people noticed and offered to help with the startup. Really, I couldn’t have done it without – “

A harsh buzz drowned out his words, his phone started to slide along the desk before he grabbed it.

Peeta’s eyes flashed alarm but he immediately schooled his features, then he was on his feet.

“I have to go. I need to leave right now.” Peeta scrambled around the office, shoved his arms in his jacket, yanked both gloves on, and snatched his keys.

“I am so sorry Miss Everdeen; please can we reschedule?” His gentle blue eyes pleaded.

Katniss nodded mutely, too stunned to respond.

“I’ll send you a message!” Peeta threw over his shoulder as he dashed out.

Peeta clenched his fists around the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. He felt his rage building inside at the unfairness of it all. Eli was a child Peeta mentored, only 14, too young to suffer at the hands of the people he should have been able to trust.

“Home is supposed to be a safe place!” Peeta yelled to the empty seats in his vehicle.

No child should fear their own home. Peeta shook his head in disgust, at the injustice many foster children have dealt with, abuse in a foster home. Peeta had kept his cool as he filled out the report at the police station but on the drive home, privately, he was honest with his internal turmoil.

Eli came for his shifts the previous week at the bakery with several tell tale signs of physical abuse. Bruises in strange places, excuses that just didn’t fit, “I fell,” he remarked. “You know brothers,” he dismissed and “I’m just clumsy.” All excuses Peeta had heard before.

Excuses and lies that easily fell from Peeta’s own teenage mouth.

The young boy Peeta had taken under his wing wouldn’t admit any misconduct. Peeta asked further questions, only to be shut down. From his own experiences, Peeta knew he had to try a different approach. Unless the boy was willing to admit the truth it, it would have only broken the boy’s trust if Peeta called social services himself. He had to build that trust and earn Eli’s respect.

Peeta pleaded with the boy to tell his mentor if he was ever in trouble, without hesitation, Peeta would be there for him. Today Peeta had an especially terrible feeling in his gut. When Eli didn’t show up for his shift, he knew to keep his eye out for his phone. He didn’t want to cut the meeting short with the intriguing sweet and sour journalist, but when he received the ‘X’ sent from Eli’s phone, he knew what was more important.

With each of the teens Peeta mentored he had worked with them to set a plan in place. If they were to find themselves in trouble, they would send Peeta a text, a predetermined code. Peeta would pick them up when they needed help, ask questions later. Some of the kids chose to simply text an ‘X’  like Eli did.

As he drove, Peeta replayed the incident in his mind. The battered young boy, trying to hide his injuries, the pleading for mercy from his own foster parent, before Eli’s eyes met Peeta’s. The look of relief that Peeta saw wash over Eli brought a cold chill down Peeta’s spine.

It was all too familiar.

Peeta’s hands started to shake so intensely, he had to pull his car over.

[myrish-lace-love]

The Maiden’s Moon

Summary: Jon and Sansa are stolen from their families and forced to train as courtesans in Lord Baelish's brothel, the Pink Pearl. They form a deep friendship, even as Lord Baelish tries to tear them apart. But can their bond survive the cruelties of the brothel and its patrons?

A/N: This is the first chapter of a completed 10k fic. It's very intense, angst-filled, and dark! Different than my usual fluff fest. It has a happy ending, I promise, but it’s going to be a rough ride.

Trigger warnings: Abuse, non-con, kidnapping

***

Sansa swept aside the beaded curtain and tiptoed over to join the other pupils. Lord Baelish had arranged a circle of chairs in the central room of his brothel, the Pink Pearl.  

Read more below or continue on ao3

The room smelled of incense, and what Sansa now knew was sex. Sex that men and woman bought and paid for.

Soon she’d be bought and paid for too. The children in this room been captured, some highborn, some from the streets, selected for their youth. The blond-haired girl across from Sansa was weeping openly, drying her eyes with her white shift.

The girls had whispered among themselves on thin straw mattresses last night, trying to make sense of how their lives had taken a terrible turn. Sansa remembered how happy she’d been when the raven with a Lannister seal arrived from the capital. She’d been summoned by the Queen herself, to foster at King’s Landing. Other highborn girls had received similar messages, and set off of journeys of their own.

Poorer families had offered up their children, especially their daughters, without fanfare. Daughters cost money to marry off. Some households had been persuaded to give up handsome boys. The families had been provided with generous sums of gold to make up for their earnings.

Families like Sansa’s had misgivings, of course. Allowing their highborn daughters to travel on the Kingsroad was a serious risk, but a queen’s command was not easily turned aside. Sansa’s parents had fussed over her and sent her off with their best guards – Jory Cassell among them – as well as Septa Mordane.

Sansa’s chest had swelled with excitement to be on such an adventure, until her coach had been attacked and she’d been shoved out the door and into the mud. Septa Mordane’s high scream had cut off abruptly in the night. Jory had lunged for Sansa, his face contorted with rage, before a stranger threw a burlap sack over Sansa’s head, and dragged her here, to Lord Baelish’s establishment.

Lord Baelish entered the room, resplendent in a green jacquard jacket, and made his way to the center of the circle. He stood on the raised dais and opened his arms in a beneficent gesture. He turned slowly, welcoming each child in turn. Lord Baelish had ordered the boys and girls alike dressed in white, for their first formal “introduction” to the brothel.

He silenced the chorus of questions with a quick motion of his hand.

“Our lovely queen didn’t tell the whole truth to your parents. But you are here for a special reason. You’ve been selected for your looks, and for some of you-" Lord Baelish glanced at Sansa, and smirked "–your impeccable manners. All of those attributes will serve you well as you learn how to serve our clients here at the Pink Pearl.”

According to gossip Sansa had heard, it was better to have highborn manners. Manners and courtesy couldn't be taught quickly, and fetched a high price. Sansa’s hair was a fiery red, her skin was smooth and clear as ivory, and she’d been raised as a lady. She knew how to sit up straight and and sing and play the harp. Children from common households, who didn’t know the proper forms of address, who couldn’t play instruments or eat delicately – they’d have the worst clients. Clients who didn’t care about style and nuance, as long as they could fuck how they liked.

“Our families,” the blond-haired girl burst out, “they’ll come for us, they’ll hunt you-“

Lord Baelish walked over and cupped the girl’s cheek. “I doubt it very much, little one. Your families have been told the wasting fever took you on the Kingsroad. A tragic outbreak, like last year's. So many young lives lost. We had to burn your bodies-“

A collective gasp went up, but Lord Baelish continued to talk, serene as if he was discussing the weather, rather the cover up of their “deaths”.

“-so you are well and truly gone, I’m afraid. But don’t worry, you’ll begin a new life here, and the Queen will see to it that you’re treated well.”

He's lying, she thought, Cersei didn't send those letters, he did. The queen didn't ask for any of us. No one else knows we're here.

But it was a well-chosen tale. She could still see her mother's ashen face when she'd received word that the wasting fever had struck the Vale. Sansa had been embroidering a dress for their visit to Aunt Lysa, but news of the deadly illness had brought a halt to their planning. Sansa's mother had comforted her, but Sansa had also found her mother praying in Winterfell's small Sept, bidding a tearful goodbye to Lysa and Robyn Arryn. The Vale had never recovered, and her aunt and cousin had died.

"A filthy lie." The boy next to Sansa muttered, as he glared straight ahead. His dark curls spilled over his forehead. His long lashes and full lips would be the envy of any girl. He sat straight-backed in his chair.

"Trust Lord Baelish to pull a trick like this, as tricky as he is with coin. Stole the Queen's seal and sent his own ravens-“ He slumped in his seat, scowling.

“Don’t,” Sansa hissed.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t be a fool, don't slouch, don’t complain. Haven’t you heard? The well-mannered ones, those who know their courtesies, they’ll be treated better. Sit up straight, try not to get hurt!”

The boy gave her a sullen look. His eyes are storm grey, Sansa thought, like the North, and the skies above Winterfell.

There was a hint of a smile on his lips, though. “I’m...well-mannered?”

Sansa flushed. She’d thought herself dead inside, after the nightmare of her capture. But the boy’s smirk made her temper flare.

“Yes, you were raised that way. You know Lord Baelish is the master of coin. Your posture was proper, until a moment ago. You know the rules, and that means someone taught them to you. You’re the highborn son of a lord.”

The boy’s mouth worked. “I’m not, but you’re right, I’ve been taught well enough. Doesn’t mean I have to give in. Hang the rules.”

“They’ll hang you, if you don’t follow them. Stay alive.”

“You’re fierce, for a dainty lady. I’m Jon.”

“I’m...I’m Sansa.” She had to push the name past her lips, because it brought a torrent of memories with it. Her solemn father’s smile and her wild little brother’s bright laugh. Father. Mother. Arya. Bran and Rickon and Robb. They’re gone, I’ll never see them again.

“Look now.” Jon’s gray eyes softened. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed. Sansa’s a pretty name. It suits you. Don’t cry, he'll see, and...”

“And what?”

Jon glanced away. “Maybe I want you to stay safe here too, all right?”

A tiny flicker of warmth bloomed in Sansa’s chest. Jon had gotten under her skin, but she’d gotten under his, and she felt alive, like a person, for the first time since she’d walked through the doors of the Pink Pearl.

Sansa reached for Jon’s hand. “Can we keep each other safe? Try, at least? We could write to the Queen, see if she knows-” Lord Baelish was speaking to the blond-hared girl across the room, but the hairs stood up on the back of Sansa’s neck. She had the eerie feeling he’d had heard them.

Jon’s quick squeeze of her hand was worth the risk. “We can try, Sansa, but the fever...would your parents believe it?" His grey eyes searched hers.

Sansa thought again of her mother, of how she'd lost hope for Lysa and Robyn. How she'd lit candles in the darkness, rather than question the ill news the raven bore. She fought back tears. "They might."

Jon nodded. "I've only one person in the world left, and I think he'd believe it too."

He's being smart about this, and I need to do the same, Sansa thought. She dashed away her tears.

Jon squeezed her hand again. "I’ll watch out for you, Sansa.”

She mustered up a smile. "I'll watch out for you too, Jon.”

Lord Baelish turned just as Jon released Sansa’s hand. They both schooled their features into a mask. The proprietor’s eyes glided over them, but Sansa was still uneasy. He clapped his hands, once, and the room fell silent. We’re under his spell already, Sansa thought.

“Your training begins this afternoon. Boys, file out with Satin.” He pointed to a slender, dark haired man standing in the corner. “Girls, with Ros.” A lush woman stood by the door, her thick red hair tumbling down the back of her sheer green gown. She smiled at the girls.

Lord Baelish nodded to Satin and Ros in turn. “They are your instructors, and will initiate you in the palace arts. Your training will last approximately two months, until we decide you are ready to serve the needs of our customers and become courtesans. Pleasure is an art form like any other, and Satin and Ros are at the height of their craft.”

How he does like to hear himself talk, Sansa thought bitterly. What a web of lies he's woven for us.

Lord Baelish looked every child in the eye one last time. “Pay attention, learn well, and you will be rewarded. Now go.”

Sansa took one last glance at Jon, at the mutinous set of his jaw, before she filed out of the room with the rest of the girls who trailed after Ros.

[pjpeteisawesome]

Goof Troop and the Nuances of Parent-Hating

It's common for kids, especially teenagers and older kids, to claim to hate their parents.  In fact, it's often seen as trendy to hate your parents, be it because they're embarrassing, clueless that you're getting older and have maturing interests, or simply too doting.  However, it's also important to consider that there's a significant fraction of kids who don't care for their parents because their parents are actively harming them. Goof Troop does a good job of showcasing the two types of parent-hating side-by-side and, in the process, showing the difference between the two of them.

When Max and Goofy are home alone, and especially when Max is a preteen, their relationship is more-or-less healthy.  The only times that their relationship is shown to be in jeopardy is when Max believes his reputation is on the line or when he's attempting to shirk responsibility.  "Meanwhile Back at the Ramp" is the first episode that shows this, when everyone says that Max looks just like his dad and he's ashamed because Goofy usually screws things up.  It's used a bit in the ancestors episodes where Max doesn't want to listen to his dad's stories, most of which are used to teach Max responsibility, with the exception of "Gunfight at the Okie-Doke Corral" which is about his reputation.  It's hinted at slightly in "Goof Under My Roof", but in that episode, he is willing to inform Goofy about the bullying he's enduring due to their situations.

It's most apparent near the end of the series, starting with "Educating Goofy", where Max is humiliated when Goofy appears at school with him, even though Goofy only did that to set a good example for Max, as Peg later explains.  "Have Yourself a Goofy Little Christmas" involves Max being one of the people whose Christmas was ruined by Goofy, as Pete rudely informs him, due to Max outgrowing the Christmas traditions.  A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie both feature Max worrying about his reputation and wanting to get away from Goofy for that reason extensively, including a tirade about how he's older now and doesn't want to be with Goofy anymore in both, with a harsher impact in the second one.  He's also exceptionally unhappy with Goofy dragging him away from Roxanne in the first movie and beating him at his best event in the X-Games in the second.

Despite these, he clearly cares for his dad when push comes to shove.  In "Meanwhile Back at the Ramp" he goes out of his way to help Goofy win an award, and eventually wins the best father and son in the class.  In the ancestors episodes, he eventually learns to appreciate Goofy's lessons.  In "Educating Goofy", with Peg's help, he realizes what Goofy was trying to do and wants to let Goofy win the spelling bee.  "Have Yourself a Goofy Little Christmas" has him chase after Goofy in the snow when he realizes Christmas is about family.  In both A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie, Max and his father reconcile from their fights in the third act, and there are moments along the way where Max shows care for Goofy, such as showing sympathy for him losing his job or bonding with him over "Hi Dad" soup.

Additionally, there's a good number of episodes where Max shows love for Goofy without any hint of dislike, such as "Everything's Coming Up Goofy" where they're very close before moving to Spoonerville, "Waste Makes Haste", where they work together smoothly, "Wrecks, Lies, and Videotape", where he goes out of his way to try to get Goofy a vacation, or most prominently, "Date with Destiny", where Max says that his father is "the best" and is very upset when Miss Pennypacker wants to take him away, even starting a lie that Goofy is getting married to throw her off the scent, though that was unsuccessful.  He's also completely benevolent in "Counterfeit Goof" despite understanding that Goofy is silly.

Then, on the other hand, we have PJ, who doesn't seem to have nor care about a reputation. He does occasionally express contempt for his father being embarrassing, but more likely than not he's expressing displeasure with something else.  Most of his comments explaining his poor relationship with his dad are fearful, self-deprecating, or plaintive cries for help.

In A Goofy Movie, he says his dad is going to kill him three times in his first three scenes, and he expresses similar sentiments in "Pistolgeist", "Wrecks, Lies, and Videotape", "Come Fly with Me", "Take Me Out of the Ball Game", and "Max-Imum Insecurity", the last of which was predicated on something Pete actually said.  He panics about being grounded for huge amounts of time in "Bringin' on the Rain" and "Axed by Addition".  In "All the Goof That's Fit to Print", he trembles and braces himself when asking Pete for money.  At other points throughout the series, he displays timidity and anxiety both around and about Pete.

Many of his focus episodes focus on the self-deprecating aspect as well.  PJ isn't smart enough to be his dad's assistant in "O, R-V, N-V U", he isn't skilled enough to be his dad's partner in "Tub Be or Not Tub Be", he isn't brave enough to be part of the family in "From Air to Eternity."  Pete's not a paragon of intelligence, skill, or bravery, but he still finds time to make PJ feel insecure about his own traits.  

Plaintive cries for help appear in episodes like "Good Neighbor Goof" and "And Baby Makes Three".  In the former, he says that the day he met Max is the only day of fun he ever had.  In the latter, he calls himself a "feudal serf" and counts down the days until he can leave home.  PJ is making it very clear that he is not happy at home, regardless of how anyone else would see him, regardless of the time in his life.

When does PJ show love to his father?  Most of the time, only when Pete is manipulating him into doing things for him that he should have no occasion to ever do, such as in "Tub Be or Not Tub Be" or "To Heir Is Human."  Otherwise, he's quite suspicious of his motives.  PJ is suspicious of Pete's motives when he's interested in his life, or is trying and failing to help him, or is off doing something else with other people.  There are several episodes where PJ had only a few lines, and used them to express disillusionment or disbelief.

It's also clear, when Max and PJ's problems are compared side by side, who is the one with the worse dad.  "Take Me Out of the Ballgame" features both fathers smothering their sons attempting to turn them into baseball stars, but Pete is more reckless in practice and, more importantly, at the beginning of the episode was forcing PJ to pull weeds for six hours without taking a break while he was lounging around, while the worst thing Goofy did at the beginning was give Max a birthday present he didn't want.  Later in the episode, after they fail to make the team, PJ is afraid of Pete's reaction and Max is worried about disappointing Goofy.

In "Midnight Movie Madness", Pete insisted that PJ go see a scary movie he didn't want to and then, when he made it through it relatively unscarred, told him that it was based on a true story and went out of his way to terrorize him in a costume.  Goofy, on the other hand, warned Max not to see the scary movie because he doesn't react well to them, but relented when Max said it was okay and went out of his way to prove the Mutilator wasn't real.

In A Goofy Movie, Pete couldn't even say the word "too" when countering Goofy's comment that Max loved him, saying "My son respects me", period.  An Extremely Goofy Movie opens with Max and PJ playing a game of Misery Poker, where Max complains about his dad's tendency to be embarrassing and smothering and PJ complains about his dad's willingness to cast him completely aside and openly show his utter glee at doing so.

Indeed, this shines a light on a problem with the unchecked trend of kids hating their parents to be cool in the media.  It makes it harder for kids who have genuinely abusive parents to understand that the way they feel about their parents isn't normal or healthy.  Indeed, Max doesn't always seem to fully understand the extent of what PJ is going through. He makes a joke about how he's "trained" in "Come Fly with Me" without getting the huge problem that is.

In A Goofy Movie, he's willing to say PJ is lucky because of the RV, to which PJ reacted well, but the elephant in the room is that he's still essentially being treated like a servant by his dad.  In "Slightly Dinghy", he point-blank asks PJ what could be more fun than fishing with his dad, despite the fact that his extremely unpleasant answer is predictable.

Yet, when Max learns that PJ isn't allowed to play with anything in his room in "Everything's Coming Up Goofy", he's horrified.  In "Good Neighbor Goof", he's reduced to tears when Pete screams at PJ and tells him he's not allowed to see Max anymore, even coming up with two elaborate plans to prevent that from becoming permanent.  In "Close Encounters of the Weird Mime", he shakes his head, scowls, and facepalms at Pete's phony-polite insults.  In "From Air to Eternity", he's more than willing to help PJ get back at Pete for being a hypocrite and rejecting him as a punishment for something he didn't even do.  Max is clearly not under the impression that what Pete is doing to PJ is acceptable; most of the time he doesn't even seem to realize how frequently it's happening, mainly because his own experience with parents is so much tamer and healthier.

That, in essence is the distinction between the kid who hates their parents to be cool and the kid who hates their parents for hurting them.  While the former may express contempt or distaste for their parents being embarrassing or smothering, ultimately, they would be horrified if their parent was out of their life. On the other hand, the latter may display fear and pain, and will likely distrust the parent even outside of their social settings.  This distinction is really important, and it's worth admiring that this show did such a thorough job of showing it.

[i-am-very-very-tired]

Whenever anybody asks about black women in comics, the immediate response is to bring up Storm. But Storm isn't the only black woman to rock superpowers and a costume. Here are 20 other black female characters in superhero comics who deserve more love and attention. Monica Rambeau (codename: Spectrum) was a lieutenant in the New Orleans Harbor patrol of the Coast Guard when she was bombarded with rays from space which gave her the ability to turn into any form of energy, and shoot energy at people. The first of a few peace officers to appear on this list — because for some reason a not insignificant number of these black women characters either come from law enforcement or the sciences. It would be interesting to see if this was simply to avoid the idea of stereotypes, or if their creation correlated with higher instances of black women going into law enforcement and science-focused careers. Monica is one of my favorite heroes, mainly because of her snarky, take-no-bullshit attitude, a trait she has in common with a quite a few other women on this list. She has a long history in comics including a stint as the leader of the Avengers. Fierce and powerful, she's been forced to change her name a number of times because people keep taking hers — she's gone from Captain Marvel to Photon to Pulsar to Spectrum. She originally changed her name from Captain Marvel to Photon so that Captain Marvel's son Genis-Vell could use the codename. Only to run into Genis-Vell a little later and find out that he had performed a name change of his own... to Photon. She was not happy. But that's how cool she is, everybody wants to bite her style. She also had a friendly/caustic conversation with Carol Danvers when she decides to transfer from using Miss Marvel to Captain Marvel. My only wish is that they would go back to her original afro hairstyle, which was awesome. ARC TO READ: Check her out in the Nextwave a 12-issue Limited Series written by Warren Ellis. It's a biting satire of superheroes, and teams where everyone is likeable exactly because they are so unlikable. Keep an eye out for the scene where Monica's remembers what being on the Avengers was like. CURRENTLY? Leading the Mighty Avengers field team. Anissa & Jennifer Pierce (codenames: Thunder & Lightning respectively) are the daughters of famous hero Jefferson Pierce (codename: Black Lightning), who really did not want his daughters to follow in his footsteps. He made them promise to graduate from college before they used their powers to become heroes. Anissa graduates with a pre-med degree, and later that same day her father walks in on her trying on her costume. Becoming a hero with no parental support led to a hard road and a number of near-fatal injuries for Anissa. Jefferson sees this and to make sure his younger daughter Jennifer actually has guidance, and signs her up for the Justice Society of America as a teenager. Even though they're sisters, their powers could not be more different. Anissa controls her density to the point of making herself invulnerable and creating shockwaves by stomping her feet or clapping her hands. She ran with The Outsiders for years, and eventually ended up in a steady loving relationship with Grace Choi (another of my favorite characters), which her father had some issues accepting at first. Jennifer, meanwhile, can turn herself into a being of sentient energy allowing herself to fly and shoot powerful bolts of electricity. The sisters rarely interact with one another, Jennifer was busy dealing with learning how to control her powers and Anissa's initial storyline revolved around her dad's disapproval of her choices and tension on the team with Grace (who she originally hated). Both girls are rather unique in being black second generation heroes. Rarely did black supers of their father's generation get a relationship that lasted long enough to produce children. Their interactions are an interesting insight in black superfamilies which you don't get a lot of outside of old Milestone comics. ARC TO READ: Catch Anissa in the One Year Later arc where the Outsiders are presumed dead. It starts with Outsiders vol. 3 #34 and reveals Anissa's relationship with Grace. Or catch the angry sibling beatdown between the two sisters as one defends their father and the other tries to arrest him which starts in Outsiders vol. 4 #32 BONUS ARC TO WATCH: The 2 DC Nation shorts featuring Thunder as a teenager and Lightning as a tween both ready to be heroes already are some of the better animation DC has done. You can see them on Youtube. CURRENTLY? In limbo. Since both The Outsiders & JSA currently don't have regular books coming out. Amanda Waller (codename: N/A) is a BAMF, period. And I mean the old-school Amanda Waller of size, accept no substitutes. Waller fought her way out of the Caprini-Green projects after the murders of her husband and daughter. A completely normal human, if completely normal humans have a titanium will and a cunning political mind, she chose to get into politics to change the world. With her "by any means" attitude she quickly rose through the ranks and transitioned into the shadow government. She is known as The Wall, and while it might have started as a fatphobic joke it stuck and became a point of pride because there is no one, literally no one (even Batman), who can work around or through Waller when she puts her mind to it. This is not to say she hasn't been tricked before but it happens rarely and she always, ALWAYS has a contingency plan. The 2011 reboot of DC slimmed her way down and came under heavy fire from fans not only because most of the character redesigns were pale copies of the originals but also because people saw her as one of the few characters of size in comics that wasn't defined by it. She is sort of the Nick Fury-analogue in of DC, except willing to do much darker deeds for what she considers the greater good. This has caused some to view her as a villain, in fact she ranks on a few "greatest comic villains of all time" lists but in reality The Wall is only always doing what she thinks is best. She's one of the better, if not the best, morally ambiguous characters in the DC Universe. ARC TO READ: Suicide Squad vol. 1, the original late 80's run with The Wall in total command. You can also see a lot of slick, determined Waller in Checkmate! vol. 2 CURRENTLY? In limbo. The new volume of Suicide Squad premieres this month but it seems unknown whether it will feature Waller or not. Charlotte "Charly" Beck (codename: Friction) was part of the Marvel Imprint - New Universe in the late 80s. In New Universe people were spontaneously developing abilities and many voluntarily checked themselves into clinics devoted to helping them...supposedly. Charly was in a college ballet class when suddenly she suffered an intense migraine and everyone around her started slipping and sliding. She had developed the ability to control friction, eliminating it entirely or allowing her to stick things to each other. She checked herself into the Center for Paranormal Research and was assigned a therapy group with other people who had suddenly developed powers - DP7 (also the title of the comic). The thing I loved about Charly and DP7 was that it was a super comic in that there were uncontrollable powers, shadowy conspiracies, and fighting for what was right but it also wasn't a traditional super comic in that none of their emotional/non-super problems went away or got shoved to a backburner because of they suddenly had powers. In fact often having the powers exacerbated the issues they were already having. For example, Charly's attempt at romance with a member of her therapy group who couldn't see himself with a black woman. This leads to a short stint in a militant black therapy group dedicated to fighting the racism present at the institute. The portrayal is not very nuanced but it was an interesting attempt at trying to talk about race in comics. DP7 also dealt with issues of domestic abuse, self-sacrifice, families of choice and emotional betrayal. I was actually a huge fan of a lot of the comics under the New Universe imprint, there was a revival called newuniversal in 2007 but it didn't last very long and to be completely honest lost some of the humanity that shone in the originals. ARC TO READ: Just start at DP7 #1 and read it all the way through. CURRENTLY? In limbo. DP7 was cancelled in '89 as was most of the New Universe creations however an alternate universe version of Charly did make an appearance in the Marvel title Exiles in 2006 so there might be some hope for her. Celia Windward (codename: Jet) is chosen alongside nine other people by the Guardians of the Universe (yes, the same ones who created the Green Lantern Corps) to be the next variation of their race, the New Guardians (which they take as their team name). They were granted immortality and each has power over certain fundamental forces of the universe. Celia was able to control electromagnetic energy. It's easy to dismiss her and her team, especially after they fought Hemo-Globin the "AIDS vampire" (yeah there's no excuse, none) and he infected Celia and Gregorio, the only openly gay member of the team (and arguably DC comics first gay hero). So yeah, that's some messed up BS, no one is arguing different but the team also actually dealt with some pretty heavy moral issues. They discussed how to achieve peace if you use force, they even flirted with the idea of giving up violence/fighting for good. It was also one of the more diverse teams in DC comics and they actually tried to deal with how people from such disparate backgrounds live and work together. So yeah there's a lot to recommend the series...if you can get past the whole 'AIDS vampire' thing which admittedly is a pretty high hurdle ARC TO READ: Millenium #1, the initial appearance of the New Guardians for sure. CURRENTLY? She died in New Guardians but since DC comics destroyed their long company history and recreated everyone she's been shown alive as leader of the Global Guardians. Which means maybe Gregorio will make a reappearance as well but the one great thing about the DC reboot - no more 'AIDS vampire' *poof* he never was! Philippus (codename: N/A) is an Amazon and over 3,000 years old. Queen Hippolyta's most trusted advisor. She was one of Wonder Woman's main trainers growing up and loves Diana like a daughter. She has held the title of Regent and Queen of the Amazons multiple times previously - when Hippolyta has stepped down or been stripped of her title. Phillipus is one of the most knowledgeable warriors in the world due to her extended age and training. Intensely loyal to Hippolyta and later (after Hippolyta's death, which is all kinds of dead potential lesbian wrong) admits to being in love with the queen for most of her life. She not only shows us that not all the amazons are white but is also devoted to the Amazon nation, going so far as asking permission of Hippolyta to injure Wonder Woman in training, to teach her a lesson in humility so she would be a better leader in the future. Sadly after Gail Simone left the Wonder Woman series the Amazons Attack miniseries happened (and the less said about it the better) and the Amazons began to be written as man-hating, antisocial sneaks. Sigh. ARC TO READ: Unfortunately Philippus has never been a main character but "Stoned" starting with Wonder Woman vol. 2 #206 is I believe when she becomes co-leader of the Amazons. Also any Wonder Woman run that Gail Simone wrote is guaranteed to be awesome and probably has Philippus being badass and terrifying, just like I like her. CURRENTLY? Deceased. :) Unfortunately there was a general de-powering/de-awesomeing of the Amazons before her death so it was a pretty ignominious/shameful death for a character with such a long history. Mari Jiwe McCabe (codename: Vixen) is originally from the African comic book nation of Zambesi. After the death of both her parents Mari takes the Tantu Totem that her family has always protected, which gives her the ability to mimic the powers of any animal that has ever existed on earth. The source of her powers has been played with and revamped a number of times, from being alien in nature to mystical. My personal favorite origin is the one that links her and Animal Man to the West African god Anansi. She became a model by day and superhero by night (modelhero? supermodelhero?). One of the most iconic moments in her history for me is when she's on a photo shoot on an island, goes on a swim and surfaces to find all her friends and co-workers killed. She goes on a full on rampage and kills the drug kingpin who murdered her friends in vengeance becoming afraid she's losing herself to the animals she channels she joins Suicide Squad for a while. This means she was under the leadership of another woman on this list, Amanda Waller. Vixen should get a special place in history because thanks to the source of her powers and his weakness toward magic she is one of the few beings in the universe who has cut Superman. ARC TO READ: Start with Justice League of America vol. 2 #1 and check out her plotline as her powers change completely and she's no longer able to take power from animals but instead steals the abilities of her fellow metahumans instead. Also the miniseries Vixen: Return of the Lion which is about Mari returning to her home village for the first time since she left to find and punish her parents killers. CURRENTLY? In limbo. She was a member of The New 52 Justice League for a short while until she was injured and became comatose. We've at least gotten confirmation she's not in the coma anymore. Martha Washington (codename: N/A) is the creation of Frank Miller. WAIT, don't skip the entry! Because I don't think I'm exaggerating at all by saying she is the most well rounded (perhaps only well rounded) female character Miller has ever created. She has emotions, drive, strength, the story allows her to be a hero and the conflict feels vibrant and real - the things that Miller often receives praise for. Like another woman on this list, Amanda Waller, she grew up in Caprini-Green though in the future and escapes it by joining the military. Martha Washington's life is a map in fucked up shit. Finding out that the powers that be truly don't care for anyone but themselves, facing multiple betrayals, becoming a hero, simply surviving, everything has been a struggle. The core of her story is about being a person who actually cares for others, who still has compassion and going up against a world that has mostly forgotten how to be a community or care for one another. Martha is that soldier who actually joined up to help others and her nuanced view of the world means she often has problems with the things she's asked to do and often goes off book. Most arcs will make you cry at one point or another but all of the despair and sadness is buoyed by the hope Martha brings. No matter how dark the situation Martha will not give up and it inspires others to do the same. I adore Martha, in fact I named my first Mass Effect player character Martha and altered her to look like her as well. When I think good, thrilling military science fiction she's one of the first characters to come to mind. Martha Washington is not really a superhero comic as much as a military-science fiction hero comic. Martha's stories are told in a number of limited series and one shots from 1990 - 2007 ARC TO READ: The first 4 issue miniseries, 'Give Me Liberty'. See how Martha grew up and joined the military. I pretty much guarantee you won't be able to stop with just the one miniseries. CURRENTLY? She's dead but unlike most of the women on this list it was after living to 100 and inspiring others to keep fighting for the freedom of others. So a rare "happy" death. Dr. Cecilia Reyes (codename: N/A) never had a codename because she's a doctor dammit! Cecelia was recruited into the X-men though very reluctant to join she turned them down a couple times first. Even after she joined she used her medical skills more than her power, which is a psionic shielding that protects her whenever she feels threatened. Dr. Reyes doesn't have great control over her powers in the beginning mostly because she really has no interest in training with them being much more focused on healing others on the team. Although this might also have to do with the fact that the shielding is psionic so she feels all the hits she takes even if there's no physical effect. This seems like a pretty fucked up consequence of a power, I mean sure you survive but you still feel all the pain. That's sucktastic! In many ways I love her because she's the first X-men team member whose powers doesn't form the majority of their identity/personality. She doesn't deny she's a mutant but it doesn't form the whole of her perception of who she is which is a perspective continually lacking in the X-men. Unfortunately Marvel didn't really know what to do with her and the more they shied away from her ambiguous attitude towards heroics and her focus on medicine and kept trying to make her into a warrior the more they lost what had made her unique. ARC TO READ: "End of Days" X-Men vol. 2 #100, Cecelia uses her powers in a way that changes her forever. CURRENTLY? In limbo. She returned to help the X-Men find the first five new mutants born after M-Day and has popped up here and there but hasn't had many prominent storylines in the last few years. Mercedes "Misty" Knight (codename: N/A) retired from the police force after she lost her arm trying to disarm a bomb and get it away from the crowd. Refusing a desk job she started a detective agency with fellow former officer Colleen Wing. They became known as the Daughters of the Dragon both for their ferociousness and their training in martial arts. At some point Misty gets a bionic arm. It's never really clear who gave her the original but every scientist in the Marvel Universe has taken a turn improving or replacing it including - Dr. Reed Richards and Tony Stark. Misty has long had an on-again off-again relationship with Danny Rand a.k.a. Iron Fist for years which has led to the Daughters of the Dragon teaming up with Heroes for Hire a number of times. In fact later on Misty took over Heroes for Hire, increased the roster and took on a management role. One of the reasons Misty is badass and interesting is that she is completely human, yes she has the bionic arm but it doesn't shoot plasma or give her magnetic powers, she's a former policewoman running with A-class heroes and able to hold her own. I choose to ignore the time her hair was drawn as an afro with straightened bangs and spit curls. Any artist who plans to draw a black woman's hair, please do some research! Ask a black woman. Anything! ARC TO READ: World War Hulk Aftersmash #1 in which Misty deals with the decisions she made during World War Hulk, the guilt and the repercussions. CURRENTLY? In limbo. Recently Misty Knight was part of the Fearless Defenders but unfortunately the book was cancelled in December 2013. Raquel Ervin (codename: Rocket) was a poor black girl who dreamed of being the next Toni Morrison. Unfortunately she didn't believe that she had the talent so instead she got involved with crime. It was while robbing a house with a group of friends that her life turned around. She realizes that the man who owns the house is an alien and convinces him to become the superhero Icon and take her on as his sidekick Rocket. He gives her a belt which allows her to control and direct kinetic energy, this grants her a number of abilities including flight, super strength, a forcefield and more. Originally she was a part of Milestone Comics which featured African-American heroes and freely discussed race. Raquel dealt with a lot of issues that poor of color communities deal with all the time. This includes becoming arguably the first teenaged mom superhero and helping her friend Flashback kick her drug addiction. There was very little stigma attached to either of these moments, the focus being how to deal with problems and overcome them rather than the 'suffering porn' so evident when many characters of color are given such storylines. Soon after becoming Rocket, Raquel discovers she's pregnant with her ex-boyfriends child. And while she does retires for a time while pregnant she returns to being Rocket again after giving birth to the child, Amistad Augustus Ervin - named after the famous slave-trading ship and her heroing partners' human alias. Since the Milestone universe has been folded into the main DC universe nothing much has been done with her but we do know she is still Icon's sidekick and has teamed up with the Justice League when needed. ARC TO READ: Start with Icon #1. I was going to recommend the whole pregnancy storyline but that starts at #3 so why not just start from the beginning? CURRENTLY? In limbo. She's made appearances in the mainstream continuity but no one seems to have done anything with her in quite a while. Ce'athauna Asira Davin aka Chante Giovanni Brown (codename: Queen Divine Justice) thought she was just a normal girl living in Chicago with her grandmother. In actuality she was heir to the leadership of the Jabari tribe which Black Panther had outlawed years ago because of their support/sheltering of the White Gorilla cult. She was recruited to become one of Black Panther's bodyguards/ceremonial wives, only then did she learn she was Wakandan by birth. She has no powers to speak of but has been trained in Wakandan fighting styles and has boots with vibranium soles that allow her to stick to walls and other feats. Eventually Man-Ape, Black Panther's old enemy tells her the truth about herself and her origins. Man-Ape introduces her to what remains of the Jabari clan, who view her as queen and tells her of Black Panther's role in her early life. She even learns that her grandmother isn't her grandmother at all but a trusted agent of Black Panther meant to keep watch over her. Normally this would be an excuse to turn a hero into a villain, luckily Queen is a nuanced enough character that this doesn't make her Black Panther's enemy. She does leave his service though and go to confront the woman who raised her. She knows nothing is black & white. Also the issue where she talks Hulk down and then talks to him about disenfranchisement and not smashing the property of the poor is perfection. ARC TO READ: "Seduction of the Innocent" & "Gorilla Warfare" in Black Panther vol. 3 #31 - 35. Queen learns the truth and confronts the liars in her life. CURRENTLY? In Limbo. She is still chief of the Jabari tribe as far as I can tell but her appearances have been almost non-existent for the past few years. Jelene Anderson (codename: Adept) is from Strikeforce Morituri, an alternate universe with the Marvel continuity in which an alien menace known as The Horde is attacking Earth and winning. The Morituri process is invented which will grant great powers to those biologically compatible with the process, enough to fight the aliens but it's also guaranteed to kill the subject within the year. One of the things that sets Jelene apart on this list and in comics in general is her strong belief in/connection with God. Jelene, in fact volunteers because of her strong religious convictions and maintains that conviction throughout her life. Unlike many stereotypes of christian characters, especially black christians, she was open-minded, friendly, non-judgmental and formed bonds with many of her teammates who don't share her values. The Morituri process granted her the ability to analyze any given situation and figure out the the needed neutralizing countermeasures even to the point of her own body producing chemical compounds to counteract poison. Her ability was one that looked like it might turn the tide in the war as she was able to analyze schematics of the Horde and after a little time understand them perfectly. During a raid in which a fellow Morituri, Marathon with whom she had been forming a romantic bomb used his own death to slow down her pursuers her own death finally caught up with her. The Morituri process killed by ramping up the individuals powers to the Nth degree. For Jelene this meant she started to exhibit actual full on cosmic awareness before going peacefully, content with what she had done in her time on earth. ARC TO READ: I want to recommend that people just read the entire run of Strikeforce Morituri because it's fantastic but at least read the first 13 issues. CURRENTLY? Deceased :( Victoria Ngengi (codename: Flint) is probably the toughest one on this list, and I mean sheer physical ability to take punishment. She's been burned by Xenomorph blood and survived, hell she got burned with the blood because she burst one apart - With. One. Punch. And yes those are the Xenomorphs from Aliens. She's invulnerable, the Xenomorph blood was the first thing to hurt her in years, and she has super speed but only in terms of reaction time and personal movement, so she can dress and undress so fast no one sees but can't run at the speed of sound. She became a part of Stormwatch young, after losing her parents to violence in Kenya and years as a ward of the Kenyan state. Unlike many of her Stormwatch compatriots Victoria did not have a darker outlook on life, she was an idealist through and through, working to make the world a better place. Stormwatch was based on a space station and when they notice an asteroid heading for earth they intercept. That's when they run into the Xenomorphs. Almost the entirety of her team is killed by Xenomorphs and originally everyone believes she was the only one to survive. She gives testimony as to what happened on the space station in front of the senate. She only survives because when the Xenomorph blood burns her she becomes disoriented and fell back into a lifepod which activated. She feels intense guilt about this but channels it into her work. She joins the mostly unpowered Stormwatch Achilles and tries to improve the world, eventually falling in love, marrying and then divorcing the team leader. She then rejoins Stormwatch Prime and then the whole world goes to shit with "World's End". ARC TO READ: There's a ton of Stormwatch you could read but I'm actually gonna recommend the wildC.A.T.s/Aliens one shot where Stormwatch gets taken down and the entire run of Stormwatch Achilles where she really shines. CURRENTLY? In limbo. I don't think anyone has seen Flint since Authority: World's End but that was previous to Wildstorm being folded wholesale into the DC main universe so there's hope she'll turn up again! Destiny Ajaye (codename: N/A) is the newest girl on this list. Some of us have been waiting for this miniseries for six years. The book Genius was one of two winners of Top Cow's Pilot Season back in 2008. The original Issue #0 had with the support of comic book heavies like Warren Ellis who wrote a whole blog urging people to vote for Genius. After much delay the entire 5-issue mini-series was released this past August. Destiny's power? She the best military mind of our generation. Genius presupposes that every generation has a military genius born into it: Alexander the Great, Hannibal, Napoleon, and now a 17 year old black girl in South Central Los Angeles. She's had the ability to think/see many steps ahead since she was a child and she's grown up seeing the injustice all around her. Finally Destiny decides to do something about it. Tired of police brutality, racism and corruption Destiny unites the gangs active in her neighborhood and secedes the three blocks they live in from the United States. One of the most interesting series to come out in the last few years, trust me you want to read this. ARC TO READ: Just read the whole Genius limited series, it's only 5 issues. CURRENTLY? Renewed for a second limited series, YAY! Karen Beecher (codename: Bumblebee) initially dressed in costume to provide an anonymous villain to provoke the Teen Titans because she believed they were taking her boyfriend, a member, for granted. When she finally revealed the ruse she was asked to join the team herself. While at first Karen was a more support character to her boyfriend Mal she slowly grew into a hero in her own right. And in my opinion a MUCH better here too, in my opinion. Admittedly I like Karen a little more than her presence merits because Teen Titans were my team growing up. She's most closely aligned with the Titans oft-restarted and never really successful west coast division (the stint where the entirety of the The Titans moved wholesale to San Francisco doesn't count, 'cause that was the main branch). A scientist, originally her powers stemmed from a suit she created which allowed her to fly and fire energy blasts but thanks to some random space energy (Note: if you didn't know randomly space energy can do anything - kill, grant powers, steal powers, mutate someone, revive someone - it all seems to depend on the color and made up name of the energy) has gained the ability to shoot energy blasts and fly without the aid of her suit. The downside is she's also been shrunk down to six inches tall and is stuck at that size. She has to take a daily medication to make sure her heart does not fail because of her tiny size. She eventually leaves The Titans and joins Doom Patrol, with her now husband Mal. The leader of Doom Patrol, the Chief, is working on growing her and she gained an inch and now stands at seven inches. ARC TO READ: It's hard with Karen because she so rarely got a main storyline but I would say the 22 issues of Doom Patrol vol. 5 is when she really shines, and also divorces her deadweight husband. CURRENTLY? In limbo. With Doom Patrol canceled in 2011 Karen is MIA. Is she now eight inches tall? Inquiring minds want to know! Dr. Beth Chapel (codename: Dr. Midnight) was a simple a medical student, whose mentor happened to be a doctor and a superhero - Dr. Charles MacNider aka Dr. Mid-Nite. After MacNider's death Beth is blinded by an oxygen explosion in her hospital and discovers she has the same ability as MacNider, in darkness she can see in with perfect clarity though she's blind in light. I don't think the question of why an ordinary oxygen explosion would have this effect is brought up beyond *shh, it's comics*, which is good enough for me! She tried out for the team Infinity Inc., along with Yolanda Montez (codename: Wildcat). The interesting part of Infinity Inc. is it was mostly made up of legacy heroes, the children (biological and adopted) of silver age heroes like Hawkman, Green Lantern, Hourman, Wildcat and more. Beth is different from most of them because the connection she has with her predecessor, Dr. Charles MacNider aka Dr. Mid-Nite, is a caring mentor-student one rather than parental. Unlike the other doctor on this list, Dr. Cecilia Reyes, Beth wanted to be a hero but she also continued in her profession as a doctor wearing special lenses that allowed her to see in sunlight to do both. She pretty much exemplifies the complaints of disabilities being used for show or power without any actual thought to disabled people and how they live every day lives. Characters are rarely shown living with their disabilities and in fact their powers allow some work around so it's like they have no disability at all. And yeah...that's Beth. I enjoyed her time on Infinity Inc. though. She was often the voice of reason and the one who tried to talk her teammates out of rash and really just stupid decisions. Her interracial relationship with Hourman is also of note not only because it's a bit of a rarity in comics when it comes to black superheroes who are often just paired with the nearest other black hero (for example: Black Panther & Storm) but also because the interracial nature of their relationship was acknowledged but not focused upon as the only thing about their relationship. This makes her subsequent death all the more disheartening. Along with Yolanda Montez (again), she and a number of other heroes were recruited to fight Eclipso. They were all killed by the villain. ARC TO READ: You can just read the whole run of Infinity Inc. which is awesome or if you want the death arc go for Eclipso vol. 1 #11 - 14 CURRENTLY? Deceased :( This was before the DC reboot though, so the death probably isn't canon anymore...hopefully. The final two entries are questionable because the fact they are black is not definitive. Priscilla Kitaen (codename: Voodoo), in so many ways she is the most stereotypical character on this list - the teenage sexpot stripper with a heart of gold who loves to wear revealing clothing and seduce men for information. Now none of those things are objectively bad but it's a default when it comes to women in comics. It's unfortunate because the moments when she is just a character in her own right are amazing. Priscilla came into her power when it was discovered she had Kheran ancestry. Recruited onto a team of other full and partial Kheran people stranded on earth she fought in a shadow war against the Kherans historic enemies - the Daemonites, also stranded. The Daemonites can possess everyday people easily and Priscilla has the power to not only see beyond the surface but also to exercise a Daemonite from its host. The reason she's in the questionable section of this list is because the fact that she is part African-American is only brought up when they need to justify something like her learning/dealing with the religion of Vodun and almost completely ignored otherwise. There's also an unfortunate coincidence (I'm giving them the benefit of a doubt) that in addition to being the only part brown person on the team she's also the only one who is part Daemonite. Okay so if there's all these negatives why is she on this list? Priscilla is actually - if you tally all of her powers or potential powers from her Kheran ancestry, her Daemonite ancestry, her psychic abilities, her military training and her vodun training - potentially one of the most powerful heroes in the DC universe. They very rarely acknowledge her powerful nature long term but she's basically and immortal, psychic, warrior-vodun priestess which is kinda awesome. Also because at the hands of talented writers she becomes an amazing character. When she discovers the cause she's been fighting for all this time is false and the Kherans back home are pretty much racist and privileged. She's the first to rebel, even against people she considered friends and mentors. This marks her departure from the wildC.A.T.s, unable to trust most of them again and though she's returned a couple times since it's never permanent. Priscilla is one of those characters you love for her moments of awesome and because of what she could be. ARC TO READ: WildC.A.T.s vol. 1 #21-#27 The storyline where they return to Khera, some deep moments of politics, betrayal, friendship and tradition. CURRENTLY? Since Wildstorm has been folded into the main DC universe she had her own series that lasted 12 issues and has been popping up here and there in other comics. Pantha (codename: N/A) was an experiment by the Wildebeest Society. In an attempt to create host bodies strong enough to host the evil spirits who possessed their leader, Jericho (it's a long unsatisfying story, just go with it). Pantha was the only experiment to survive initially. She had no memory of her past even had no idea if she had started as a human or a panther which is I hesitate to put her on the list at all. However a number of other sources list her as a black woman which I hope is based on an alternate version of Pantha we meet in Booster Gold named Rosabelle Mendez, who was a vet student kidnapped and sold to the Wildebeest Society by Max Lord. Though this can probably be taken as her canon origin I'm a purist and if it's in an alternate world it's always questionable. Either way Pantha was an awesome character, completely antisocial and violent she was more interested in discovering what was done to her and clawing the responsible parties eyes out than making friends. The draw of her character was seeing her grow and change while never losing her edge. She came to care for a couple of people but overall was disdainful of company and thought people were betrayers and a waste of time. by the hands of crazy superboy. One of her biggest changes came with the last Wildebeest experiment they managed to save Baby Wildebeest, who was a child but when angered could grow to tremendous size and strength, imprinted on Pantha as Mama. Though she wasn't happy with it she eventually came to care for Baby and formed a relationship with russian superhero Red Star. She eventually moved to Russia with him and Baby. Then her and Baby died :( ARC TO READ: The New Titans #109 -111 the search for who she really is continues CURRENTLY? Deceased :( (along with Baby Wildebeest) :(((( This is the death I'm saddest about because both of their deaths were such throwaways. You know how every comic fan has that one ignored character that if they ever got to write for comics they would choose to write? Mine is Pantha. So final sign off is this: #BringPanthaAndBabyWildebeestBack!