#It's not self hatred
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Its important to me that Trigun is, fundamentally, at it's heart, about restorative vs retributive justice.
#Whoever you think is irredeemable Vash doesn't#I think most people would actually when really pushed disagree with Vash and even get very angry at him#What's radical isn't not wanting to kill#It's not self hatred#It's not that he wants to honor Rem#It's about the blank ticket#It's about not assuming that people will behave tomorrow the way the behaved yesterday or even today#Especially if you change the conditions that caused that behavior#It's not about forgiveness either#Vash's deal isn't forgiveness he's so angry#Anyway this is really hard for people!#But it's what makes it really interesting to me#Trigun
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Someone’s about to get stabbed, idk who yet
#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#dc robin#dc#dc comics#the wonder boy 2024#GOD THE NEW MINISERIES IS GOOD#they’d be besties#if they got over their own self hatred idfk#insanity recognizes insanity#this sorta sucks!#shhh
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You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.
Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.
But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.
She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.
Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.
#sorry for ranting#but my girl is insecure and vulnerable#of course she will make decisions that are not really the best#but clearly her self-hatred is running so deep she truly believes she will die before someone will kiss#her#and if that ain't the most relatable thing ever#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#nicola coughlan#bridgerton 3#penelope featherington
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can we talk about the way lestat moaned when louis stabbed him in antionette's bedroom? my man had been fantasising about that ever since he first saw louis and you can't tell me differently
like they couldn't just have their hate sex with some spanking or choking like normal people, louis said you are taking a knife to the GUT.......... i love these little freaks so much what the fuck
#lestat de lioncourt#lestat#loustat#ldpdl#iwtv#loustat reached a level of mutual self hatred never seen before whew#mine
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I did it to hurt him, and it did hurt him.
Sam Reid as Lestat de Lioncourt INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 2.07: I COULD NOT PREVENT IT.
#all that pent up self-hatred for what he did to louis... oh lestat#just incredible. god i will never stop thinking about sam's performance in this ep#lestat de lioncourt#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtvedit#amc iwtv#vctvedit#sam reid#cinemapix#usergayppl
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work#and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story#close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP#you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it#writing#writing advice#guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits#because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes#self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation#fic writing
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fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s ‘i am an observer, but not by choice.’
[text id: i often asked myself / do i want love / or do i want proof that i am loveable?]
#fatima aamer bilal#i am an observer but not by choice#poetry#literature#poeticstories#yearning#longing#self hatred#self deprecation#self loathing#book quotations#art#dark academia#typography#words words words#web weaving#web weave#poetry collection#franz kafka#sylvia plath#lana del rey#bts#hozier#mitski#poem#prose#lit#parent issues#childhood#girl hood
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stop liking this you little fuckers
if this gets 20 notes in a week ill start drawing more and going outside
if this gets 100 notes by the end of march i will actually try in school
if this gets 200 notes by the end of march i will eat more, ,,,,,,rn i only eat lunch
if this gets 400 notes by the end of march ill stand up to ppl at school who bully me
if this gets 500 notes by april ill stop cvtting
#shblur#988blr#ewwww#sh cvt#sh#988twt#tw s3lf harm#tw sh related#self mutalition#self h@rm#i have a deep hatred for ed sheeran
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mr riley.
early access + nsfw on patreon
#simon has a lot of reasons for his endless well of self-hatred#but the first seeds were definitely planted by him looking a lot like his shitty dad.#in this au his dad is still alive#but they haven't talked in decades. and wont ever again#also ppl who are paying attention will notice that this flashback is when ghost got the scar over his eyebrow#simon ghost riley#manuel roba#monster 141 au#giragi art
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#ds9#tng#voy#tos#star trek#star trek the original series#star trey voyager#star trek the next generation#star trek deep space nine#spock#s'chn t'gai spock#the doctor voy#7 of 9#odo#data#lt commander data#commander data#lieutenant commander data#ok data doesn't have the shame and self hatred so much but i think he has the inferiority and he has emotions fuck off#mine
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Sirius Black proposing to Remus Lupin, because he would never do it himself- he has too much self-hatred and self-doubt.
Sirius Black getting down on one knee and asking if, maybe, Remus would be willing to love him for the rest of their lives, because he was absolutely sure that he would love Remus for the rest of his.
Remus Lupin tearing up and muttering in thrilled disbelief, “Are you serious?” Because he’s so happy and excited and he’s not thinking straight.
Sirius Black grinning tearfully and saying, “Yes, I’m Sirius. Sirius Lupin, hopefully.”
And Remus just fucking sobbing.
#marauders fan#hp marauders#the marauders era#marauder era#marauders headcanon#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#harry potter marauders#marauders era#the marauders#sirius black is gay#sirius black was gay#sirius loves remus#sirius being sirius#remus loves sirius#remus x sirius#sirius black#sirius orion black#sirius x remus#remus with too much self hatred#remus being remus#remus john lupin#remus lupin#wolfstar
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little did he know
original
plus bonus shang qinghua version i made before i realized the system made more sense here
[ID: Scum Villain fanart based on a Breaking Bad fancomic by @/flashcs5. The System says via a smiling kaomoji, "It is pride month, valued user. You know what that means." Shen Qingqiu sweats, "Huh. What."
The System smirks while Shen Qingqiu frowns, "Do you want me to train like. Gay disciples. What." In the background, a comically huge-and shiny-eyed Luo Binghe touches his fingers together and goes, "Shizuuuun."
In the bonus with Shang Qinghua, Shang Qinghua says "It is pride month, Cucumber-bro," and is shown crying as he turns away while Shen Qingqiu asks what he means. End ID]
#me about shang qinghua: i drew him too smug and i think i hate him now#my gf: draw him crying#SO TRUEEEEEE. hatred gone#now i only feel a deep cuteness aggression towards the pathetic disciple binghe i drew#svsss#scum villian self saving system#scum villain's self saving system#the scum villain's self saving system#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#my art#fanart#ID by princess-of-purple-prose! thank you
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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CONTROL YOURSELF
#the substance#my art#your body as consumption vs consumption as your body and so on#still thinking a lot about this film. boy does it manage to nail the angle of simmering self hatred#but the line ‘is it getting harder to remember you deserve to exist’ has stuck with me. its sad but its also very resonant#and its an important reminder. there is no dissociative self you’re hurting. there is only you#the substance 2024#demi moore#margaret qualley
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My disease, my infection I am so impure
Reptile - Nine Inch Nails
#elden ring#messmer the impaler#shadow of the erdtree#oc x canon#tarnished#original character#artists on tumblr#oc#in front of my salad?#something something snake man has extreme self hatred and religious trauma#Stoli being the wonderful god hating mailman gf is here to help#RIP Messmer you would have LOVED the Downward Spiral by NIN#in other news#i think their official ship name is mailwives#also sorry if ur seeing this again i uploaded the wrong version 😭🙏#mailwives
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#vs that ultimate simp king self#he is a god tho ? almost#every time he utters a word of self hatred i want to bonk him in the head#like mf you're so pretty and beautiful inside and outside how dare you ???#he's such a gemini (just like me fr)#also let me give you a big hug you cute hater#tgcf#heaven officials blessing#hua cheng#san lang#tian guan ci fu#mxtx#heaven official's blessing#text post meme#hob
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