#Especially if you change the conditions that caused that behavior

[contemporaryelfinchild]

Its important to me that Trigun is, fundamentally, at it's heart, about restorative vs retributive justice.

[lycheebloom]

mania : short whippet of yan. shadow milk cookie (pre. corruption & post corruption)

tw : yandere shadow milk cookie, light/heavy psychological & physical manipulation, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, violence, potentially ooc

"Put your trust in me, for none will deceive you as long as I am here."

♡ You first meet him in a period where he was yet to be touched by greed and trickery. A humble cookie you were, innocently strolling amidst the streets of your home kingdom until you stumbled across him.

♡ He was nothing short of humble and truthful as the rumors had entailed—polite with a well-mannered tone and gracious in his deeds of honesty for all. As if woven by fate itself, your coincidental encounters with him grew more and more common, until a bond began to flourish. Little promises and giggles were shared, fondness bloomed between stories and tales.

♡ The man was often teased by his peers for his fondness towards you, yet he didn't mind. Unbeknownst to them, a darker truth was veiled beneath the surface. Keeping his hands clasped together with yours for just a second longer than normal, neglecting his duties at times just for another moment to bask in your presence—Ah, the list could really go on and on.. But it was alright. It was just a small, little secret. A white lie that couldn't hurt anybody. He'd shoulder the truth of this minuscule act.

♡ "(Name) Cookie, over here! I have to share with you this interesting moment that happened in the court.."

♡ And so, it would continue this way, until something changed.

♡ He began to grow less benevolent. Fatigue was evident through the eyebags his form now carried, his caring tone strained. The everlasting truth in his words withered, falsehoods spilling out from his mouth that caused chaos and harm to break out within kingdoms. Especially the one you dwelled in.

♡ As his behavior towards common cookiekind warped, so did his towards you. His actions grew obsessive, arms clinging onto you at every instance as though you would dissolve if he were to let go. Even you weren't safe from the deceit that had tore through his heart, the cookie whispering sweet lies into your ears.

♡ The well being of the other cookies didn't matter to him anymore, why should he bother? Their foolishness bound them to a terrible fate from the very start, he should've given up on them sooner. Too long had he and the other heroes tolerated their exploitation! But oh, dear you..

♡ You were an exception from his all-consuming resentment towards those that had taken advantage of him and his comrades. Poor, poor you. Having to associate with these wicked folk, such a kind soul you had...! Of course, he couldn't stand by idly and let your torment continue.

♡ "Ah—(Name) Cookie, don't struggle.. This is for the greater good, I promise you." He coaxed softly, one hand gently stroking the back of your head as the other restrained you. He would bring you salvation, away from those filthy brethren that you called your 'friends'.

♡ Yet you continued to struggle, restlessly moving as you tried to free yourself of the binds. Your resistance only complicated and extended the process of renewal, but he didn't blame you; no, he could never! The other cookies have merely brainwashed you. That must be it. You would never gaze at him with such fear in your eyes, you wouldn't tremble at his touch.

♡ Your hostility only solidified his view on the others. They were irredeemable!—Not only had they used him and the other heroes, but they even turned you against him! Outrageous!

♡ Your coldness wounded his heart, yet he didn't falter. He was sure he could break through such a silly perspective they had influenced you into.

♡ "(Name)~ Don't fight me.." He sighed, fingers benignly clasping your face when you tried to turn your head away. The cold sensation sent tremors down your spine. "I know they've conditioned you into this, but I assure you, I only want the best for you.." He cooed, pulling you in closer. An arm was firmly wrapped around your waist, as he traced small circles onto your back with his free hand.

♡ How much longer would it take until you finally gave into his advances? He pouted at the thought, opting to bury his head into your shoulder. The sweet scent of you drove him insane. Yes, everything would be just fine.. As long he had you with him.

♡ Yet his whole world crashed down on him one day. Pinned down by the fork those witches had dared to cast down on him; his vision tuned out the other forms of his friends being restrained, all he could focus on was your figure.

♡ Your disappointed frown with somber eyes. Why were you staring at him with that expression? Where are you going? Wait! No, don't go! His expression twisted into one of desperation, arms sprawling out towards your retreating figure. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to go. You.. You can't leave him here!

♡ "(Name), (Name) Cookie, wait! No, no no COME BACK! Please, please, please.. Don't go, you can't go, you're not supposed to—I need you..!"

♡ As you stopped in your steps and turned around, a glimmer of hope shone within his heart. Yet it crumbled just as fast as you looked away, continuing to walk away. Away from him. To leave him. Why? Why had you discarded him? Had he not done so much to prove his love and adoration to you..? He cast his head down, thoughts swarming his head in a frenzy.

♡ "(Name).."

♡ You were all he wanted. Why couldn't he have you?

♡ His vision went black.

.

.

♡ How long had it been? He was unsure.

♡ You continued to linger in his thoughts even after he had been trapped in the Silver Tree, becoming the only source of solace in his seemingly-endless solitude. He was uninterested in talking to his 'friends', their bond growing more strained as each day passed. He couldn't understand how he got along with them back then. Corruption seeped and curled within his being, infecting his mind and very essence. It fed on his despair and longing, clouding the last traces of lucidity and truth.

♡ He just wanted you back. He made a vow to himself.

♡ Once he has you again, he'll never let you go.

.

.

.

"Seriously, who can say no to a pinch of good old Deceit?"

♡ "Oh, finally some fresh air!" Shadow Milk Cookie exclaimed with a sigh, stretching his arms. Being in that cramped tree didn't help his joints at all, hopefully he didn't catch a case of arthritis! A wide grin was on his face as he peered down on the cookies that had been so, so stupid that they thought they could delay his arrival! He scrutinized their forms, yet his eyes lit up at a familiar sight.

♡ You.

♡ "Ah, (Name) Cookie!~♡" Shadow Milk Cookie was quick to pick you up, ignoring the screams of horror that the other pesky little cookies let out—who he presumed were your friends. Two fingers were clasped around your form, as he dangled you in the air. If he wasn't giddy before, he definitely was now.

♡ Shadow Milk Cookie smiled ear to ear, admiring your form in his clutch for a few moments further before he glanced back at your noisy friends, his smile dropping as the light in his eyes faded.

♡ He turned his gaze back towards you, his frown changing into a smile once more.

♡ "Truly, you couldn't begin to comprehend how much I've missed you!.." Shadow Milk Cookie sighed, leaning his face closer towards your tiny figure. "We have soooo much to catch up on..~" He gave an half-lidded smile.

♡ "But first.." He eyed your peers. "Let's go somewhere where these little.. 'friends' of yours won't disturb us." With a snap of his fingers, your surroundings changed.

.

♡ What.. was this place? Everywhere you looked, only strained your vision. It felt unreal, as though you were in another dimension entirely. Eyes of all azure shades stared back at you, adding to the eerie atmosphere.

♡ "Tada!~ My special little world, what do you think of it?" Shadow Milk Cookie smiled happily, placing a hand on your shoulder. You shuddered at the touch, hurriedly stepping away from the madman that you were trapped with.

♡ "Hm? Don't you know it's rude to stareeee..?" Shadow Milk Cookie tilted his head, bending it at an unnatural angle. He stepped closer towards you with every step you took back, quickly closing the distance. He latched his hand out, gently tilting your chin up.

♡ "Still resisting now are we? Oh, silly, silly (Name)..!" He broke out into giggles, then chuckles, before it warped into full-blown laughter. "Ah, your shenanigans never fail to amuse me!~" He wiped a stray tear, grinning as one of his hands pulled you into his embrace.

♡ His lips grazed over the exposed surface of your neck, biting down into soft flesh as jam spilled out from the wound—to which he quickly lapped it up, leaving a soft kiss as an apology. He only pulled back when he deemed there were sufficient marks, a smile on his face as he took in your shaky breath and unfocused gaze. You really were just the cutest..! "You see.. Time works differently in this little place I created."

♡ "Hmm.. For example, I could make it so that.. the equivalent of merely a second in the outside world could amount to a year in here! Or a decade! Or even a century, the possibilities are ENDLESS!" The pitch of his tone raised, delighting in your unnerved expression.

♡ "Anywho, what I'm trying to get across is that we have alllll the time in the world, my sweet (Name)~.." His tone dropped to a mere whisper, his smile fading as though the deceit within him was unraveling before you. Deep in his eyes swirled a whirlpool of something far darker than you could ever understand.

♡ "So let's see how long this little charade of yours will last. ♡"

♡ After all, he's waited eons for you in that damned tree. He can wait a little longer for you to break.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

How to Hunt Your Alpha

Yandere Gender Neutral Omega Reader x Male Alpha

CW: Extremely dubious consent, stalking, mention of voyeurism, knotting, pheromones, scenting, scent marking, biting, marking, claiming bites, a/b/o dynamics, omegaverse, breeding cycles/heat, rut scratching during sex, feral sex, general yandere behavior, knotting, breeding, baby trapping, manipulative reader Word Count: 1.2k (This is a commission for @kittycatkandies who was very patient with me. I hope you all like it, this is the first fic I have written with a yandere reader.)

From the moment you saw Clark and caught a whiff of his scent, he had snagged your undivided attention. Now, you weren't the type of omega to just start swooning and let yourself be taken in by any nice-smelling, tall slab of alpha.

No, that's how you had been treated poorly in the past. There were many alphas who just wanted to slick their knots in any omega and didn't care about a relationship or even making sure the omega was satisfied during sex.

But when you passed an alpha on the street, caught his scent, glanced into those kind brown eyes of his, you suspected he was better than the fuck boys, douche weasels, and assorted sad soggy pieces of old toast you had encounters with in the past.

Still... it was just a suspicion... you had to get to know him a good bit better. He may not even be single, though he did not smell as if he was paired up and lacked any fresh marks on his neck. The best way to see if he was right for you was, in your warped mind, to follow him and see how he interacted with others. He definitely passed the test.

You had discreetly followed him back to his place so that following him in the future would be possible. After that you tailed him stealthily several different times. The first time you did so you learned that he volunteered at the nursing home keeping old folks company, another time you caught him donating to and doing volunteer work at the local soup kitchen, and the final proof you saw that he was wonderful and perfect in all things was when you learned that he worked at an animal shelter that specifically took care of elderly animals and those with health conditions.

On occasion you had even caught him wanking through his window. He was perfect in that regard too. The sight of that cock made you drool.

Throughout your many “information gathering” sessions you had ascertained that his name was Clark and he was, as he had initially seemed, single.

But you had a plan to change that. You’d have him begging to mark you up and slick his knot inside you.

You began volunteering at the animal shelter he worked at, making sure to ask him lots of questions, work diligently, and show off your compassionate, caring, stereotypical omega side that alphas always seemed to appreciate.

It worked! Well... kinda... not as well as you had hoped. The two of you had become friends to some extent, but he hadn’t put any moves on you in a romantic or sexual way. You’d just have to step up your game.

You knew he was the type of man to take mating and biting marks seriously. You just had to get him to that point, get him in your heavily scented apartment. And so, you formulated yet another scheme.

The next time you were in heat you endured it as best you could. Full force and with no suppressants. You rubbed your scent over your entire apartment. Every room was scent bombed with your pheromones. Especially the bedroom, of course. Then you wore a scent diffusing scarf and clothing. Then you went on to the animal shelter as usual.

The scarf and special clothing would hide your scent well enough. They were designed so that those who couldn’t or wouldn’t take suppressants could still interact with society without their smell causing chaos during ruts or heats. They did nothing for the other symptoms of a heat though. You’d still appear spaced out, flushed, and feverish. Which was just perfect.

Clark noticed and at the end of his shift he thought you were ill. He wanted to take you to the doctor, you refused though what he asked next was exactly what you had wanted.

“Please at least let me drive you home, you’re in no condition to drive!”

“Well… o-okay… if you insist…”

And so he drove you home and even walked you to the door. When you opened it he was hit by the scent of needy fertile omega and clearly distracted. He didn’t protest as you nudged him in.

Then you stripped off your scarf and clothing and he was hit point blank by fresh pheromones too.

“I… I um… wh-what… um I need some air.”

He tried to collect his wits and step past you but you blocked the exit.

“Just take a deep breath, I think the air is pretty good in here don’t you?”

He muttered something incoherently as you rubbed up against him and nuzzled into his muscular chest.

“Ah y-you’re in heat… Not clear headed… I sh-”

You took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m in heat and you should help me with it~”

This was it. All your efforts were about to pay off. Your heart was pumping faster than it ever had before and your veins felt as if electricity was flowing through them.

Clark’s brain was short circuiting, though you could tell by his aroused scent and the bulge in his pants that he was going to do exactly as you wanted him to. He let you take him to the bed and push him onto it. You removed his clothing for him and stared at his full beauty, finally revealed to you. Well... finally revealed close and in-person.

He grabbed your sides and you wiggled your slick leaking hole right on to his large throbbing cock. He hardly needed to thrust, not with how eagerly you were bouncing up and down on his cock. He came in you quickly. The smell in the air and the feeling of your tight slicked up hole squeezing his length as you bobbed up and down on it were too much for him.

But he had plenty more loads to fill you with. And you weren’t going to stop until you were sure you were impregnated.

His knot swelled inside of you, locking the two of you together and reducing the fervency with which you could slam down on his dick. But the stretch felt amazing and the friction of it rubbing up against all of the most sensitive spots inside of you made you scream his name as you orgasmed again and again over the course of the next few hours.

The two of you were entwined in a near-feral frenzy of pure fucking. Scratching, biting, marking each other up in every place reachable by tooth and nail. Pheromone laden fluid leaked from your neck where he had put his claim mark and from his neck where you had put yours. Both of your eyes were glazed over, consciousness pretty much lost, bodies running on instinct alone.

You awoke the next morning with a smile of contentment on your face. You had successfully seduced the man of your dreams into a rut during your heat and had most certainly gotten him to fuck you pregnant. He was snoozing peacefully underneath you with his arms hugging you protectively. You wrapped your arms around him and let yourself fall back asleep on top of him, relaxed with the knowledge that he would never leave his well marked, pregnant omega.

[4linos]

twice the love

lee minho x fem!reader

synopsis/request: when you receive unexpected news, minho’s unwavering support becomes your anchor.

wc: 1237

You'd been feeling sick for weeks, nothing too serious, but enough to cause concern. It began with slight nausea in the mornings, which you downplayed as a stomach bug that will pass. But the exhaustion did not go away. You felt weak all the time, unable to finish a full day of work without wanting to nap or take a break. Some days, you couldn't force yourself to get out of bed, and Minho noticed, no matter how hard you tried. He has always done this. Minho had always been the more observant person in your relationship, noticing even the smallest changes in your attitude or behavior. And when it came to your health, he was unrelenting in his concern.

"Y/N, I don't like this," he murmured one morning, putting his fingers on your forehead to check for fever. "You have been like this for too long. You aren't just tired. Maybe it's time to go see a doctor." You quickly dismissed his worry. "It's fine, Minho. Really. It's probably a stomach bug. You know how it is." You tried to smile, but inside you were already terrified. You were afraid of going to the doctor, especially because you had no idea what was wrong. You hadn't really understood what was going on with your health, and you didn't want to hear any bad news.

Minho narrowed his eyes at you, but he knew not to push too hard. Instead, he replied softly, "Please. I hate seeing you like this. Just a checkup, okay? I just want to know that you're okay." You nodded, making a half-hearted promise, but deep down, you told yourself it wasn't necessary. You would be alright. Eventually.

It wasn't until a few days later that the discomfort became too severe to ignore. Your nausea had worsened, and you could no longer ignore the constant dizziness or strange aching in your lower belly. Something was clearly wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to confront the thought of what it might be. Finally, after much internal struggle, you reluctantly scheduled an appointment. You could scarcely muster the bravery to enter into the antiseptic office, the frigid air within making you feel even more alone. The doctor took some blood tests and an ultrasound, and while you sat there waiting for the results, you could barely breathe. You tried to divert yourself by going through your phone, but your mind kept spiraling, imagining worst-case scenarios.

When the doctor walked in, he seemed calm, maybe too calm. He greeted you with a professional smile, which played a part in your anxiety. "Well, Y/N, I have the results," he said, and turned to the ultrasound screen. "You're pregnant." You froze. Pregnant? It did not even register at first. You stared at him blankly, your thoughts racing. "Pregnant?" you repeated, hoping that hearing the word again would help you understand it. "Are you sure?" The doctor nodded and motioned to the screen. "Yes. You're about a month along, and the ultrasound shows you're carrying twins."

It felt as if the world around you had stopped moving. You couldn't even digest the words completely. Twins? Pregnant? You were overwhelmed, surprised and part of you wanted to cry, but you weren't sure if it was out of fear or happiness. You never expected this. And certainly not under these conditions. It wasn't like you or Minho had planned for this. It had been so unexpected and quick that you felt a flood of panic wash over your body. The doctor offered you more information and scheduled another appointment to ensure everything was okay, but you couldn't hear him.

All you could think about was how to tell Minho.

You were mentally exhausted when you got home. Your body felt heavy, and the thoughts racing through your thoughts were too messy to process. You had assured Minho that you would be alright, and you did not want to break that promise. You didn't know how to tell him you were pregnant, much less that you were having twins. You had texted him earlier in the day to reassure him that everything was okay but you knew deep inside it wasn't true. You'd kept the news to yourself, reluctant to blurt it out. You assured yourself that it was for the best. He had a big day ahead of him, and you didn't want to overwhelm him with something that was so big. You needed to get your head around it first.

But now Minho was home. He walked in the door, his normal comfortable smile fading when he noticed your expression. He knew something wasn't right. He could know when anything was wrong without you saying anything. "How did it go?" he questioned softly, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of a response. You tried smiling, but it came out strained. You dug inside your purse and handed him the ultrasound image. You stayed silent, thinking he would understand.

He took it from you, and for a few while, neither of you spoke. His gaze shifted from the image to your face and back again. His expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. Then his gaze softened, and his fingers trembled as he examined the ultrasound. "Twins?" he asked quietly, his voice barely audible. You nodded, your heart racing in your chest. "I—I didn't know how to tell you," you stumbled. "I was really nervous, Minho. I wasn't sure how you'd react. Minho was silent for a long time, his attention fixed on the ultrasound. And then, just when you thought silence would take you whole, a tear rolled down his cheek.

Without saying anything, he reached for your waist and pulled you into his arms, as if he needed to hug you to make sense of his emotions. He buried his face against your neck, and his voice cracked as he said. "I can't believe this. Twins. "You're pregnant with our babies.”You felt a warmth spread through you that you had not anticipated. He wasn't upset. He was not angry. He was happy. The strain in your chest began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of release and awe. "I'm scared," you said softly, your voice quivering. "What if I'm not ready?"

Minho drew back slightly, holding your face in his hands, his thumbs softly brushing away the tears you hadn't realized had dropped. "You don't have to be ready right now," he said softly. "I will be here. We will be here together. We will sort it out, okay? I am so happy, Y/N. I—"I can't believe this is happening." He kissed you lightly at first, pressing his lips against yours as if to persuade you both that everything was well. However, it did not stay soft for long. The kiss intensified, and you felt all of your fear, worry, and joy flood through you in that one moment. When he finally pulled away, his face was flushed and his eyes were wide with amazement. "We're going to be parents, Y/N. And I’m going to be the best dad to our twins. I promise."

You smiled through your tears as your hands rested on his chest. "I know you will," you said quietly, the warmth of his hug erasing all your doubts.

The world outside was unknown, but when Minho wrapped his arms around you, you knew you weren't alone. You had each other. And that was enough.

//

masterlist, request list

[animeyanderelover]

Hii!

I am so glad your requests are finally open :D

Is it possible for me to ask for yandere Meruem+royal guards (like you did at some point, if not just please ignore this!) with a darling who is on her period??

Tyy for reading my request and you are always free to ignore this one!!

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, clinginess, overprotective behavior, some Nsfw, blood kink, breeding kink, dub-con, manipulation, mentions of pregnancy, isolation, afab reader

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59 @leveyani @cynniical

Darling on her period

👑🐈🎻💥Some brief questions will undoubtedly be raised, whether you bring up the topic of your menstruation and your need for hygiene products before your week begins or when it happens. After all the biology of Chimera Ants is very different than the one from a biological woman. Everything will be swiftly taken care of though as soon as you have explained yourself. Shaiapouf and Meruem are the ones who inform themselves the quickest about everything involving a period and it is the butterfly who arranges everything so that you receive what you need even before Meruem can order any of his servants to do so. Neferpitou prefers seeking you out themselves and questioning you about how a period exactly works instead of picking up a book. Youpi, who has no human genes in him is the one who would probably be the one who understands the least about your condition but with all the commotion going on around him he picks up enough to get a decent idea of what your body goes through once a month.

👑🐈🎻💥Whether you plan to tell anyone about when exactly your period starts or not is nothing you hold any control over. Not only do they sense the change, they even smell it. So when you have four pairs of eyes looking at you even more oddly than what you are used to don’t wonder why. It is Shaiapouf who makes the most drama the first time it happens as he initially believes that you have gotten hurt, his words causing Pitou to active their Nen ability in case you need medical assistance whilst even Youpi steps closer, the worry of the butterfly seemingly infectious. It’s Meruem who tells all of them sternly off with only a few words before he questions you what’s going on. The first time you have your menstruation whilst captured as their darling is the time they’re the most attentive to see how you’re feeling and how you can help. They remain that attentive to you even when you don’t have your period but whenever your bloody week arrives all of them are more overbearing than normally though all of them have different ways to treat you on your week.

👑Meruem keeps you more to himself than normally when you are on your period as the scent of your blood clings even more to you when you are menstruating. One reason for that is so that you don’t wander off and the scent of your period attracts other Chimera Ants lurking around the palace. The other reason is that he finds himself sexually more aroused when you’re on your days and wants you with him so that you’re available any time he needs to have your body. Your period is after all an indicator that you aren’t pregnant yet, something Meruem strives to change sooner or later as his biology as the king of the Chimera Ants demands of him to set heirs into the world to see it through that his kind thrives. When he isn’t in a sexual mood he sees it through that you receive everything you need. As your period tends to make you more sensitive and emotional Meruem somehow seems to be more irritated as well, especially towards his servants if they are even one milisecond too late when you ask for something, especially if you are in pain.

🐈​Neferpitou is the most playful one from the servants, even more so when you are on your period. They understand pretty soon that you tend to suffer from cramps or just feel very uncomfortable and sensitive in general when you have your monthly bleeding so they do their best to make you focus on something else. Pitou lets you touch their ears and their tail if you want to, resting their head in your lap as you do so or searches for other things that the two of you can do in the time where the both of you are alone. They bring new card games and board games with them to distract you from any pain or discomfort you may feel and they lose on purpose in order to avoid making you sad since you tend to be more easily frustrated when bleeding and in pain. When they hear from Shaiapouf that apparently an orgasm helps with cramps they even offer to make you cum around their fingers or their tongue if you are in extreme pain though they won't force you if you instead ask for pills instead. Neferpitou is most likely still a tad bit disappointed.

🎻​Shaiapouf is the most attentive one during your period, far exceeding everyone else to the point where it is too much. As the obsessive freak he is for his darling he marks down every day they are bleeding and then calculates when they are most likely to experience their menstruation again. A few days before it happens he is already hovering around you more, asking you if he can do anything for you. He doesn't let you take any medication against the cramps when he is the one attending to you as he believes that you don't need them when he is the one serving you. He prepares you your snacks and meals, plays the violin for you, makes sure that you drink enough throughout the day and spends every minute coddling you, especially when you are in pain and he brings you a hot-watter bottle. There is a strong urge to wrap you up in his wings and cuddle with you when you are laying in bed whilst suffering from your cramps and he may just act on that urge from time to time. He's also the first one who finds out that an orgasm helps with the blood flow and reduces the cramps and as the loyal servant he is he insists and succeeds in convincing you to let him assist you in any way he can.

💥Youpi is the breath of fresh air, the calmest one from all of them. In between his King and the other two servants he is the one who gives you the most space though he is still always lingering close to you in case something should happen or you should need something. As his obsession usually shows itself more when you are in danger he is the most normal one which is ironic considering that he is the least human from all of them. As there is no one he can kill and rip apart when you are suffering from cramps he finds himself initially struggling as he doesn't know how he can help until you tell him of the pain killers which he from that day on then promptly provides and keeps stored somewhere when he is the only one looking after you for a moment. If you need any comfort, especially when you are in pain he usually lets you sit in his lap whilst keeping one of his big hands over your womb and rubbing it in hopes of helping you with the pain until the pain killers do their work.

[aevallare]

faith (halsin x f!tav)

ao3 link if preferred summary:

“I like you," Aeva says. "I don’t know if I understand what that means.”

It would be awkward if it wasn’t so honest, so unabashedly her. Aeva spent most of her life as a slave and the time after that with only the wildlife at the Giant’s Chalice for companionship. He hasn’t allowed his heart to stir this way since Reithwin fell, but in pledging herself to his cause as he pledges himself to hers, Aeva hasn’t given him a choice.

“The feeling is mutual,” Halsin says. Aeva’s lips twitch.

tags: Porn with Feelings, First Time, Act II, Breeding, Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Touch Aversion, Vague Implications of Infertility, References to Past Sexual Assault

Halsin avoids her the day after she kisses him. He doesn’t mean to — no, that’s a lie. He doesn’t want to. He just doesn’t trust himself, exactly. Aeva is no fragile doll, but she showed him a place where she’s cracked, last night, and he has to be honest. They were both raw from confronting ghosts and killing skeletons. The bear within him would have been difficult to control, and he’d like to offer her a gentler touch than that despite the steel of her exterior.

“Drunkenness does not come to me naturally. I apologize for my behavior last night.”

Aeva is so quiet. Halsin never hears her coming.

“I require no apology,” Halsin says. She stands next to him, staring straight into the curse-tinged darkness for which there is no one to blame but himself. “As I said, I only wished for you not to do something you would come to regret.”

“Of all things in this life, I am not sure how someone like you could be a regret,” she says, all but silent. The melancholy that always underlines her words is exaggerated by the dread Halsin feels as he takes in the road ahead. There are many whose lives would be better for not knowing him, Halsin thinks. He is a regret for no small number of reasons for people he doesn’t want to begin to count. For the druids of the grove that he failed, for the matron whose collar he slipped, for Thaniel, who he lost when it mattered most—

“Halsin?” Aeva says his name in her whisper-voice, and he inhales deeply, letting his eyes flutter shut as he centers himself. The rot in the air permeates everything; there’s no peace to be found in this place and he is the reason why. “Halsin.”

No. He never hears her coming.

Aeva’s hand slips into his. His gaze snaps to her, but her expression hasn’t changed. The comfort is surprising but hardly unwelcome, especially from someone who’s so particular about touch. Her cheeks darken the slightest when she feels his eyes on her, but she says, “You want to lift this curse, so we’ll lift it.”

He could kiss her, but he doesn’t get the chance. He probably wouldn’t have taken it anyway. She’s more comfortable when she sets the pace. When Aeva stretches up, though, Halsin leans down to meet her, and her lips brush against his. She pulls away as quickly as she leaned into him and says, “I like you. I don’t know if I understand what that means.”

It would be awkward if it wasn’t so honest, so unabashedly her. Aeva spent most of her life as a slave and the time after that with only the wildlife at the Giant’s Chalice for companionship. He hasn’t allowed his heart to stir this way since Reithwin fell, but in pledging herself to his cause as he pledges himself to hers, Aeva hasn’t given him a choice.

“The feeling is mutual,” Halsin says. Aeva’s lips twitch.

“What happens next, then? Shadow Curse notwithstanding.”

A question for the ages, no doubt. He had vowed never to allow himself pleasures of the flesh until he righted the evil done unto Reithwin, but he’s closer than he’s ever been to being able to do something about the Curse, and it’s thanks to her.

“The curse is a large condition to have looming over us,” Halsin says, but he doesn’t feel as desperate as he had before Aeva snuck up beside him. “But if you would have me, I would have you.”

“I would prefer not to be surrounded by ghostly ravens and sentient shadows the first time, at least,” Aeva says mildly.

“As you wish,” Halsin says, laughing even as they face down the consequences of his every failure.

Astarion pushes between them, apparently fed up with waiting, and walks into the darkness, Shadowheart on his heels. “Cowards, the both of you. If you’re going to fuck, at least do it somewhere that the rest of us can have the pleasure of watching.”

Aeva frowns. Halsin chuckles. They won’t be safe until the curse is lifted. He has time to think about how best to move forward.

----------------------

Halsin was wrong. Last Light is a bastion of Selûnite magic in the heart of the darkness, and the time for consideration has passed quicker than he could have imagined. Aeva, as always, is the picture of efficiency. She begins to shed her armor the moment that the door to a private room closes behind them, and Halsin says, “Patience, little fox.”

Aeva blinks at him as if she doesn’t understand the concept, thoughts unreadable as her eyes bore into him. Navigating her touch adversity is at the forefront of his mind, but she solves the puzzle for him, pulling him close until he has her wedged against the door. This feels like a betrayal of his self-imposed moratorium on carnal pleasure, but, “You should take fun where you can find it,” he’d told her.

What kind of man would he be to make a liar of himself?

A selfish one. This isn’t about morals. It’s about desire. And for once, he and the bear are in alignment.

They both want her.

Aeva managed to remove most of her armor before Halsin stopped her, but she wears a shirt for his hands to slip under, still. Her abdomen tenses as his fingers roam over her core, and Halsin hesitates. “Don’t stop,” she exhales.

When her shirt falls to the floor, there are more scars on Aeva’s skin than Halsin can trace. It pains him, but he’s hardly surprised. His masters, too, were cruel. Aeva’s breath comes in gasps, equal parts anticipation and resistance to flee, and again, Halsin pauses.

Aeva’s eyes are flinty when she meets his. “I said not to stop.”

“Your body says otherwise.”

“My mind knows better than my flesh,” Aeva says stubbornly. “You will not break me. You do not have the heart for it.”

It’s a compliment wrapped in an insult. Aeva’s throat quivers despite the bravery in her voice, and Halsin hears what she’s saying perfectly.

I choose to trust you despite my fear.

She is a marvel.

Kissing her means dipping low. She’s shorter than him by a head and then some, but the reward is more than worth the effort. Aeva’s pulse flutters in her throat as Halsin’s lips meet hers, and one of her hands falls between his legs. His hips roll into her touch instinctively, and the growl that rumbles deep in his throat isn’t him. He can’t afford to lose control completely, and the bear thrashes within him, the primal desire to mark, to claim, to breed—

To breed?

It’s becoming clearer by the moment, especially as Aeva’s fingers dip low to loosen his trousers, that this may have been a mistake, and not because he doesn’t want to do this. He wants to do this too much.

Her hand slips beneath his waistband. The moment that Aeva’s fingers trail along the outline of his cock, Halsin runs his tongue over his teeth, and again, Aeva pulls him closer, fussing with her own clothes, leggings and underwear both dropping to the floor. There’s no room to doubt what her intentions are, but—

She’s more eager than he’s comfortable with, and when he murmurs, “I’ll hurt you if you don’t give me a chance first, little fox,” Aeva blinks.

“And?”

Confusion colors Aeva’s gaze, and Halsin’s lips part. When he doesn’t speak, Aeva says, “I don’t care if it hurts.”

If she wasn’t all but naked and pressed to him, if her nails didn’t dig into his chest, he might think she was uninterested, but that isn’t the case, and if there’s anything that he knows about Aeva, it’s that she doesn’t appreciate it when people push. When Halsin does, he doesn’t do it with words. It’s the first touch he’s initiated since they walked into this room, but he cages her beneath him, one elbow on the door for support and the other finding purchase behind Aeva’s head. He tilts her chin up to capture her mouth once more, and this time, she doesn’t tense. Her body is as tough as her resolve, but her lips give him entrance when his tongue seeks it.

“I care if it hurts you,” he says after, and Aeva’s brow furrows as if he’s said something incomprehensible. For a moment, Halsin thinks she might say something, but Aeva remains wordless as he kisses his way down her stomach, paying tribute to as many of her thousands of scars as he can manage.

When his hands grip her thighs and his kisses finally meet the trail of hair between her navel and hips as he kneels before her, Aeva tenses. Halsin’s touch lightens, and he looks up at her for any indication of what she wants to happen next. Aeva holds his gaze.

Her thighs quiver on either side of him.

“Would you allow me the honor?” he asks, and for a moment, he thinks Aeva might pull a knife on him.

Instead, he can all but hear the dryness of her mouth as she says, “Slaves aren’t permitted—”

He interrupts her. “I see no slaves here.”

The silence stretches on into eternity, and at last, she nods, a motion so minute that he might miss it if he wasn’t staring at her as if she was the only thing in the room. He holds her gaze even as his lips part, and when the flat of his tongue slides gently over the exposed nub between her legs, Aeva keens. Her hands flex as if she doesn’t know what to do with them, and Halsin wraps a gentle hand around one wrist to pull it to the back of his head. His cock throbs at the heady taste of her, and Aeva hesitates for only a moment before her fingers weave into his hair. When Halsin pulls away just enough to brush his thumb against her clit, Aeva whimpers, eyes still frantically trained on him.

She’s not the type to ask for permission, but when Halsin does as she did and nods, Aeva’s grip in his hair tightens to lead his mouth back to the place it’s wanted to be for hours. Days.

The first taste was quick, all but stolen. The second is a draught that Halsin would never interrupt if not for his need to breathe. Aeva’s hand in his hair serves little purpose but to steady her. If she vied for control, Halsin would relinquish it without hesitation, but she doesn’t. He presses a kiss to her clit. She shudders, and he’s hardly done anything yet.

When his tongue enters her, Aeva gasps, “Hells.”

It occurs to him that this might be the first time anyone’s performed this act for her. He doesn’t know if anyone’s ever performed any act for her; with what little he knows, it seems that mostly things have been done to her.

Halsin’s not a possessive man, but the bear finds the idea of people taking from this woman time and time again an encroachment of territory. And she hadn’t wanted to — Halsin’s more than capable of reading between the lines of her touch-aversion and stony exterior.

The bear threatens to rage.

Halsin placates the beast with the nectar of Aeva’s cunt, and though it writhes beneath his skin just as Aeva writhes above him, it’s enough for now. His magic recedes; it had pricked at the corner of his eyes before, but he reins it back in in time for Aeva’s knees to go weak. Her back slides against the door as his tongue reaches inside her, mumbling curses in Low Drow.

When was the last time he tasted something so sweet?

His cock strains against his trousers as Aeva’s hand seeks purchase anywhere it can find it, but nowhere seems to satisfy. Halsin’s mouth never leaves her, but he peers up at Aeva as one of his hands finds the crook of her knee. “Yes,” she says, breathless, and Halsin lifts one of her legs up onto his shoulder and then the other. Aeva wavers, adjusting to the weightlessness, but she’s quick to find her balance. Her thighs press against his ears, warm against his face as her cunt is in his mouth, wet and dripping. Arousal drips down his chin, her slick mixed with his saliva, and when he pulls his mouth away, Aeva whines.

Halsin’s never seen her beg for anything.

“Don’t stop,” she pleads.

Her hair’s askew and her face and chest are both dark with rushes of blood. Halsin leans her into the door, a hand on her ass and the other brushing against her clit. “Will you come for me, little fox?”

“A thousand times, Halsin,” she says breathlessly, though she seems to be trying valiantly not to fall entirely apart. The circles he rubs into her clit are slow and deliberate. “I’ll come for you a thousand times.”

The mess he’s made of her cunt makes two fingers possible, if a tight fit. It takes a moment to find the spot he’s looking for, but there’s no doubt that he does. Aeva’s back arches, head tilting into the door even before his mouth finds her clit once more. “More,” she says, fighting to stay her measured self even as she whimpers, close to release.

Halsin’s mouth slides from her clit with a popping sound. “Two seems to be plenty,” he says, not unkindly, but Aeva stares down at him.

“Your cock is going to be bigger than two of your fingers,” she says. “And I plan to take that, too.”

The bear roars, and Halsin feels a little more than unmade at the thought himself. A third finger joins the first two and her walls stretch to accommodate, tight and warm. He seeks the same spot again, and when he finds it, Halsin’s fingers curl in time with his lips sealing tight around her clit. More vulgarity spills from Aeva’s lips, in Common, Low Drow, and Undercommon, too. Her hands are at Halsin’s ears, holding his face close even as her thighs do the same.

When Aeva comes, she shatters. It’s the loudest that Halsin’s ever heard her be. Her body convulses and she pulls at his hair without mercy; his cock throbs at the sensation. The position isn’t one that makes it easy for her to move, but she tries to fuck herself against his hand as best she can anyway, and when at last she comes down and pushes his face away, she slides off his shoulders and into his arms. He doesn’t let her feet touch the ground, wrapping her legs around his waist instead. Aeva stares at him but complies, back to her hard-to-read self even in these moments immediately after bliss.

“Good?” he asks, standing and walking toward the bed.

Aeva nods, licking her lips. “Yes. I—” She stops, sucking in the insides of her cheeks.

“What?”

“I knew it could be good, but I didn’t understand.”

He’d thought as much.

Halsin lays her on the bed, flat on her back, and undresses. She watches and says nothing, but his mind races with what she said before.

“Your cock is going to be bigger than two of your fingers.”

All too true. Drow are small. Aeva’s only half-drow, but it’s no less a fact. She’s small. And Halsin is… not.

“I’ll be gentle,” he says.

Aeva smiles. It’s barely there, a ghost of a thing, but she smiles.

And when his cock springs free, her eyes widen. It’s only for a moment, but Halsin notices, and he says, “We don’t have to.”

Aeva nods. “I want to.”

“If—”

“I was right, though,” she muses. “About the two fingers.”

Halsin blinks.

“Was that a joke?” he asks.

Aeva blinks back.

“I apologize. Was it in poor taste? I’m not—”

When Halsin rests atop her, elbow propping him up on the bed, he interrupts her with a kiss. His tongue drags across her lips, and she makes a needy sound, hips bucking up, seeking his. When Halsin lowers himself, his cock between her thighs, he pulls away from the kiss. “I don’t know that I’ve heard you make a joke before.”

The length of him brushes against her clit, and she shivers. “Levity doesn’t come easily to me,” she says. “The chances I had for it were few.”

It’s wet between her legs. The self-restraint it takes not to lose himself is immense, and he must wear it on his face. “Nothing you do to me could be worse than what’s been done before,” Aeva says. Her words assuage neither beast nor man. Halsin’s arms quiver and the bear rages.

And he’s weak. He’s always been weak, borne on the currents of the world around him, never able to affect change in any way that matters.

“Care, little fox…” he manages, but Aeva only blinks back, face as unreadable as ever.

“You wanted me to have a soft touch, and you gave it. If the bear seeks release and it’s only on my account you hold out, then let it free.”

He didn’t name the bear. Aeva came to the conclusion herself, and he isn’t sure how. Aeva’s fingers tease the hair on his stomach. Halsin isn’t even sure she can take him. A few inches, yes, perhaps two-thirds of his cock, but the whole thing?

She’s so small.

“The bear wants to…” Halsin grits his teeth, cock sliding between slick folds. His hips move of their own accord Aeva exhales in bliss and desire; he shouldn’t be entertaining the idea at all. “The bear wants to fill you until your stomach is swollen with a litter of cubs. “

Aeva doesn’t flinch at his admission. The head of him brushes against her entrance. His nails are all but claws in the mattress.

“The bear can try.”

Halsin wants to ask what she means.

The bear has other ideas.

“I won’t break,” Aeva says. She doesn’t understand— “I trusted you,” she says. “I’m trusting you. That doesn’t come easily to me. Trust me back.”

“You don’t know what you’re agreeing to,” he says, but the bear’s already won. He’s only delaying the inevitable.

“I’ve had few choices in my life. I make this one willingly,” Aeva says, her voice barely a whisper. She pulls his head low until their lips are almost touching, her hands in his hair. “Breed me, Archdruid. Make me fat with child.”

Aeva pulls the magic from him with her words. It doesn’t pulse; it pours. He’ll stay an elf in form (mostly), but the energy is a primal thing. What she said before (“The bear can try”) is irrelevant. There’s a pliant, willing, beautiful woman underneath him, and there’s no doubt in Halsin’s mind that he could break her if he tried, but neither he nor the bear wants that.

This time when Halsin kisses her, their teeth clatter together with the force of it. When he pulls away, he flips her with ease, and Aeva settles onto her hands and knees instinctively. Her slit drips before him, and Halsin’s muscles ripple and his cock swells as it presses against her entrance.

Halsin’s chest heaves. Aeva moves her knees, adjusting, and when she does, her ass rocks side to side. His mouth goes dry. “I will… try to be gentle,” he manages.

Aeva looks back at him over her shoulder. “It would be nice at the start, if possible. Once I manage to take it, do what you like.”

He guides his cock to her cunt and pauses, inhaling deeply, fighting the urge to see just how much she can take in just one stroke. It’s Aeva who pushes back onto him, cunt spreading to take him. She stretches around his cock with her hand between her legs, an obscene sight, folds splitting as she sinks back. Aeva pants. Halsin says, “You are dangerous.”

Aeva doesn’t answer. She only moves forward and back again as Halsin watches, his cock sliding a fraction of an inch deeper inside her each time. He’s managed to hold himself in check, but Aeva doesn’t flinch as his hand ghosts along the roundest part of her ass. Her arousal glistens along him, and the deliberate way she rocks back and forth is maddening, but after what feels like an eternity—

Her ass meets his hips, his cock fully nestled inside her. Aeva’s breath comes in ragged gulps. “Fuck.”

Neither of them move for a moment. If Halsin so much as twitches, he might lose control. And Aeva asks, “Has the bear lost his nerve? I would think that’s exactly where he’d like to be, if breeding me is his aim.”

Aeva leans forward a final time and snaps her hips backward.

He doesn’t understand her.

He doesn’t need to.

It’s out of his hands.

Halsin doesn’t know if the roar he lets loose is metaphorical or real. His claws dig into her waist and her hip, and the cry Aeva lets out is borne of lust, not fear. Halsin can’t see as much of her as he’d like in this position, but it has its perks. Her ass bounces against him, tight and slim like the rest of her, and the thought of it being his spend that changes her has his grip tightening. Her pert chest and her flat stomach will both swell and the children she bears will be his. His claws leave red marks everywhere he touches, graceless, but Aeva only moans, slick with sweat and cum and pleasure as he thrusts into her time and time again.

It’s not deep enough. It will never be deep enough. When he presses himself against her back and pushes as far as her body will take him, Aeva falls face-first into the mattress. Halsin buries his face in her neck, rutting into her like the animal that she’s dragged out of him. The scent of her is overwhelming, and Halsin thinks he could stay here forever, but—

It’s been centuries since Halsin’s indulged the bear (or himself) this way. He was never going to last, but he doesn’t have to. Aeva’s just as pent up as he is even after her earlier orgasm. Her hand’s been working as frantically at her clit as his hips have been at her cunt. Her cervix is there — he pounds against it — but she takes each thrust without complaint. She’d meant what she said about letting the bear breed her, and when Aeva’s knees go weak and her walls squeeze around him, intent on drawing out every drop of cum from him they can. Aeva cries out into the mattress as she climaxes, and when she falls apart on his cock, he plunges into her once more, twice more, a third time.

Halsin spills himself into her with a grunt more beast than man. He fucks her as full as he can manage, but it’s too much and Aeva’s too small. Even before he leaves her cunt, his spend leaks from her. Aeva tilts her hips upward as much as she can manage in this position, and he groans into her neck at the movement.

The bear wants to keep her. Whoever and whatever else she has is her business. But again, the bear and Halsin are in agreement. His heart doesn’t stir lightly, but it does stir now.

His hands trail down along her sides as Halsin sits back on his heels, finally pulling his still-leaking cock from her. Cum drips down her thighs and a sheen of sweat covers her, and Aeva makes no move to get into a more comfortable position. She’s still until Halsin grabs her around the waist and pulls her down onto the bed next to him so they face one another. When he moves to pull her tight against his chest, she shrinks away.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t—” Aeva swallows hard.

“No explanation necessary,” he says, despite the hundred questions rattling in his chest. “I’m here if you change your mind.”

He expects her to roll over and go to sleep. Instead, she blinks at him. “You’re strange.”

He laughs. “Am I?”

Aeva nods. “I’m strange, too. I’m glad that I met you.”

She shuffles closer and presses another kiss to his lips, brief, chaste, soft before pulling away and falling asleep. He thinks she does, anyway, but without opening her eyes, she says, “I’ll be on top next time.”

When her chest rises and falls steadily, Halsin exhales another laugh. They have much to talk about, but yes. Strange. They both are.

[novlr]

how to write a character dealing with addiction (like drugs, cigarettes etc..)

Writing a character with an addiction is to write about someone who is controlled by that substance. They are chasing that first experience of euphoria, pain relief, excess energy, or relaxation. They are avoiding the emotional and physical crashes of withdrawal. Their behavior to outsiders often appears erratic and illogical. It is a powerful motivator for a character and can drive a plot, be an obstacle, and/or an antagonist. 

How does addiction work?

Addictive substances typically mimic naturally occurring chemicals in the body. They amplify the effects of these chemicals and flood the body. Stimulants will give a person extra, even excessive, amounts of energy, relaxants will relieve tension, and pain relievers will bring about euphoria. Whatever the substance of choice, it counters stress in some form. 

Many people self-medicate for underlying physical or mental conditions. Others take them to fit in with a social group. As a writer, you need to ask yourself a very important question: Why did your character first start taking this substance? That will inform you about why they continue. Are they escaping pain? Quieting anxiety or racing thoughts? Do they need to take it to fit into their social group? What happens when they stop taking it?  

Addiction is an illness. It is a medical condition. Treating it as a matter of willpower is to doom a person to suffer. There are effective medical and psychological therapies that, especially when combined, can provide a way back to health, sobriety, and thriving.

Cravings

The important thing to understand about these substances is that the high always goes away. The emotional payoff of that first use is never achieved again. Each subsequent use has diminished payoffs and the after-effects are worsened. This is because the body is a fantastic accountant and will produce less of the mimicked substance because, hey, there’s an excess here. So your character will crave the substance in order to just feel baseline normal. 

Withdrawal

Don’t underestimate the fear of withdrawal. It is an uncomfortable and sometimes life-threatening set of physical symptoms. 

The degree and nature of the symptoms will vary depending on the substance, the amount usually consumed, and the length of time it’s been used. Caffeine, for example, will trigger headaches. Alcohol withdrawal can include shakes, nausea, seizures, and damage to the brain’s memory and balance systems. Opiate withdrawal can cause anxiety, nausea, muscle aches, and insomnia. Read up on the specifics of the substance your character is using. Be sure to use reputable medical websites. I’ve listed a couple in the resources section. 

People want to avoid withdrawal and will use substances to ease those symptoms, thus feeding the addiction. Again, there are medical interventions that can soften the withdrawal and support the patient through this medical crisis. 

Recovery

People with addictions can sometimes respond well to treatment and have a low risk of relapse. Others are not so fortunate and will bounce in and out of recovery. 

Fear of withdrawal is one reason. Another factor is developmental. The younger a person is when they start taking a substance, the harder it is to stop. This may be due to learned coping mechanisms, changes to the developing brain and body, or a combination of the two. 

How old was your character when they started taking the substance? Who introduced them to it? Was it a parent handing them a beer at age five or a pain pill at age twelve? Was it friends at a high school party? Or did they start in adulthood? This will inform their likelihood of recovery and how hard that path will be for them. 

Struggles to quit, or why does this person keep relapsing?

Withdrawal and cravings are part of the reason it is so hard to stop an addiction. There are medical and psychological therapies that can help. Rehab is a major industry in many countries. There are also several obstacles to overcome. Cost is a factor in places without universal healthcare. Then there is denial. Many people with addictions don’t believe they have a problem. And when they do, they may feel shame if they live in a culture where addiction is seen as a matter of willpower rather than a medical condition. 

How do friends and family, employers, and others in the community treat your character? Does admitting to addiction mean they are admitting to weakness?

Another social factor is that it is hard to stop an addiction if the person doesn’t change their environment. Friends that also use that substance will enable and even encourage them to start using again. Places can be strong behavioral cues. Can an alcoholic walk into a familiar bar and resist ordering a drink? 

It’s also important to remember that substance use is often a coping mechanism for stress. What happens the next time your character encounters a stressful situation? How do they resist reaching for their addictive substance if they haven’t learned other ways of coping? Do they trust or remember in the heat of the moment that they have other options? 

Do your research

Here are a couple of my go-to sites for reading up on addictions and treatments. 

Spirit Lake Wellness is a non-profit dedicated to educating the general public about health and wellness. They have a podcast, booklets, and a YouTube channel that covers a range of topics, including addiction. All information is available for free. I am fortunate to be on their board of directors and reached out to one of the doctors we work with for this article. 

The American Society of Addiction Medicine is another excellent resource for learning more about addiction and treatment. 

written by Kimberley Long-Ewing

[manicpixieyandere]

The Genius Of Not Labeling Jinx

The Messiness Of Labels

Jinx from Arcane is known as the poster girl for borderline personality disorder, but today we wanted to talk about some of the other conditions she has symptoms of (but doesn't necessarily qualify for) and why it was smart to not label her.

Let's go over the different conditions Jinx could have:

Of course first we have BPD. Not gonna spend too much time on this one but she hits all nine of the diagnostic criteria!

Schizophrenia:

Jinx is seen to hallucinate many times in the show. She gets visual hallucinations of her family she has guilt over killing. She experiences overlays of child like drawings. She has auditory hallucinations and delusions as well.

BPD can come with hallucinations and delusions but it tends to more often be auditory hallucinations and delusions of grandeur than anything else. Schizophrenia and bipolar are the conditions more likely to cause the type of psychosis Jinx experiences.

DID/OSDD:

An argument could also be made for Jinx nearing a dissociative disorder. We haven't seen much of the show from the season two trailers, but they do seem to be hinting at Jinx embracing Powder a bit more.

It is common in BPD for the person to believe they are a completely different person than their past self. We think this is well represented in characters like Spinel from Steven Universe or Ashley Graves (Leyley) from The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. This is of course also shown in Jinx with Powder.

But Jinx and Powder's differences go a bit beyond the typical BPD self image issues. Their personalities while similar, are quite different. And instead of Powder staying purely in the past, Jinx switches between the two personalities. You can see her face change to be more soft like Powder in certain scenes. (They quite literally transform her face).

Some other differences are; Jinx is represented by pink, while Powder tends to be blue. Jinx is left handed while Powder is right handed (she uses her left to shoot, right for other stuff). Jinx is the daughter of Silco, Powder is the daughter of Vander. Both are the child of Zaun.

Jinx is of course also known to dissociate in many scenes. (As a side detail we just love how well animated the face acting is).

While Jinx fits BPD best it is also important to note that comorbidity is a real thing. While rare, all three of these conditions can be had at the same time. Personality disorders and dissociative disorders especially tend to be comorbid.

The most likely reason Jinx isn't diagnosed with anything is stigma. Giving a terrorist a mental illness may come off a demonizing. But Jinx is still loved by the neurodivergent community because her symptoms and trauma are treated with care. She's a fun relatable character. But we think another genius reason is because she's all encompassing. Saying she has BPD may make anyone who doesn't have BPD immediately think "oh, well then I won't find her relatable". But in an age where fandom likes relatability and kins the most, you cannot afford that. Instead really any neurodivergent can see themselves in her.

This is both a smart strategy but also just an accurate portrayal of how real life ends up looking. Medical conditions are technically social constructs. That's not to say they aren't real, but that they are labeled by humans. It's a list of behaviors the body or brain executes. But humans are messy! Who's to say one person is gonna nearly fit into that BPD box? Eventually you get to a point where you have someone diagnosed with 10 or so mental conditions! (Hi yes it's us, we have been diagnosed with 10). Humans were not made to fit into boxes. You see this pattern with queer identities all the time as well. The creation of microlabels has greatly helped people categorize and understand themselves, but at the end of the day the most accurate label is: you. You are you. Insert name here is Insert name here.

Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a mad Jinx kinnie. Here's to hoping season two is just as good as the first one! Still absolutely loving Jinx's new look!

[rippersz]

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒕

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

A Larissa Weems x F!Reader oneshot (for now) - Normie Reader experiences a very sudden heat for whatever reason and oh good lord Larissa is just so hot how can anyone expect you to work under these conditions… (NSFW: Vulgar, Breeding Kink, Shapeshifting Advantages, All that Jazz) (Larissa is just mentioned/imagined in this.) Am I sorry? Meh.

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

There was just something in her that lit something in you.

A fire the likes of which you’d never encountered before. As though a flame was constantly flicked on beneath your heart, causing it to race, causing it to pound, causing it to bring the blood from your limbs up to your cheeks; painting you in a deep blush. Making you dizzy. Making you ache. Making you feel a type of delicious never-ending burn that seemed to spark the very moment you saw her.

Her.

Oh, her.

The same woman that made you realize that you wanted to become heavily acquainted with Lust and all of the friendly benefits it could offer. The very catalyst to your panic and your flush and the shake in your hands as you pressed yourself up against the wall of your shower and imagined it was her doing it instead. Oh how her hands would feel… how her touch would mold… how her teeth would graze and nibble and bite and gnash in ways that sent you spiraling. The muscles in her biceps flexing as she interlocked your hands and forced your arms up over your head, holding you to the chilled tile, making you shiver even if the water was hot.

It felt like the word ‘Please’ was on the very tip of your tongue whenever you passed her in the hall. ‘Please,’ you wanted to murmur to her one day, ‘Please, put me out of my misery and ruin me before I explode.’ Because that’s what it felt like, didn’t it? The strange pull in your bones, crawling up through your veins, invading your mind, it felt like you were being stretched taut and that no amount of self-assured pleasure could help release your tormented body. Explosion, at that point then, was imminent. And dangerous. You could barely concentrate on classes; you could barely pay attention to another person; you could barely think about anything other than her fingers… and her tongue… and those deep bottomless sapphire eyes - staring straight into your soul as you fell apart beneath her.

Some part of you told you that you were going through heat. That the very desperate natural human basic need for pleasure was just that - something a person experienced from time to time. Something that werewolves and cats and animals felt whenever that season came around. But you were a ‘normie’. You’d never felt that before… until Larissa Weems, of course. Until you sat down in a staff meeting one day and peered down at her painted nails and long tapered fingers and delicate hands, woven with blue veins and a wicked strength you’d never seen, and wondered what her index and middle finger would taste like when resting on your tongue. The thought still brought redness to your cheeks and drool to the inside of your mouth. It was just so terribly depraved. So desperate. So needy in a way that you wanted her to say- to tell you- to whisper in your ear while you whimpered into the warm skin of her shoulder.

‘Look at you… such a silly little thing… trembling all for me…’

All for you. All for her. All for Larissa, at all times, no matter what.

You knew that people were starting to worry about you and your actions - especially Larissa herself. She was your boss after all, she was supposed to pick up on any behavioral changes, and you had definitely changed. Without even knowing, you became far more introverted and spent more time alone than you ever had before. Though then again, most of that time was dedicated to taking care of the relentless throb between your thighs. Honestly, sometimes it got so strong that it interrupted your entire day and you had to find some way to ease the strange pangs before they got out of hand.

And you’d been doing a good job. Really, you had. You’d been taking the necessary moments to rid yourself of the feeling for at least a few hours before it came back - and that was enough. It was enough.

Until it wasn’t.

Until it began to hurt.

Until you realized that yes, indeed, you were somehow going through heat - and there was no one there to help you with it.

–

‘Good morning Larissa,

I just wanted to email you with a quick update and say that I, unfortunately, have fallen quite ill. I don’t think I’m equipped enough to handle my classes, and I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Knowing this would get worse, I already printed out lesson plans and activities for my students. They’re all on my desk in my classroom.

Thank you - hopefully I get over this soon.

Y/N’

A quick email. That was good. You didn’t specify timing but that was fine. Your ‘heat’, for lack of a better word, had already been happening for about three weeks. If you were correct in your research, it wouldn’t be too much longer - perhaps a week or so more. Though in the long run, it would be a bigger pain in the ass than you expected. Already, your room smelled of sex and was so stuffy that you had to keep a window open constantly. And to get rid of the scent, you resorted to wall plug-ins and incense; they were the best you could think of on the fly. The rest of the issue - such as the air being far too hot - could only be remedied with a lack of clothing and many cold showers.

You supposed that was the best blessing during your time of strife- having an ensuite all to yourself. Staff were given the option to live on campus or live near Jericho, but you decided that ease of access was more important than living utterly alone. And, another plus that allowed you to let out a sigh of relief from time to time, was the fact that the teacher’s wing was very far from the students’. So any of the werewolves that wandered the halls wouldn’t smell you - as long as you stayed in your room. Thus, the email. And the isolation. And the constant worry that often came as an after-thought during your moments of… reprieve.

Even then, you truly felt you were going mad.

Tears often leaked from the corners of your eyes at night when you twisted around in bed, trying (and failing) to keep your hands from wandering about your body. You’d never experienced the phrase ‘instinctive’ to such an extent until that span of time where your searching fingers tip-tapped their way down the soft skin of your rounded tummy and found themselves drawing circles around your clit without thinking. Because it was all done without thinking. Even thinking was done without thinking.

Most of the time, your head was filled with thoughts of your boss. It was always Larissa. It was always Larissa and it was always her tall figure dwarfing your own, pushing you into a state of submission that you wanted to fall into anyway. She wouldn’t even have to try very hard - she wouldn’t even have to bend you over her lap and spank you red unless you came without her permission and she wouldn’t even- she-

‘Y/N,

I’m very sorry to hear you’ve fallen ill; please don’t worry about your classes as I can provide a substitute immediately. That being said, take as much time as you need to recover. I’ll stop by later today to chat briefly about the form you can fill out for an extended absence. Thank you for letting me know and I sincerely hope you feel better soon.

Larissa W.’

The ping of the email distracted you for a moment.

Good- that was good- your classes would be covered and you were ‘off the hook’. Great. Take as much time as you need mhm mhm… blah blah blah… stop by later today… mh-

Wait.

Wait, what?

You blinked, stared down at the lit up screen of your phone, and then blinked again.

She was… stopping… by? Later? On that day? When the clench in your abdomen was so strong that you were descending into sniffling sobs every two seconds? On that day, when you had just reached the point in which your fingers- the four you managed to fit and utilize- no longer got rid of the ache? On that day, when you were cursing yourself for never buying a fucking sex toy just for the Hell of it?

In your defense, you didn’t think you were ever going to descend into a spontaneous excruciating heat at any point in your life- but it didn’t really matter anyway.

Because whether you liked it or not, Larissa Weems, your boss, the headmistress of the Nevermore Academy for Outcasts, the main event of your wet dreams and sexual fantasies was going to stop by your room for a ‘brief chat’... and you hadn’t been clothed for three days. And your legs were trembling all the time. And the insides of your soft thighs were coated in slick constantly. And your skin was always overheated and sensitive and your voice was hoarse due to the amount of muffled screaming you pressed into the fabric of your pillow and your bed was very much unmade and your room smelled like a 24 hour sex dungeon and the blush on your cheeks had only increased tenfold by the time you sat up in your unmade bed, winced, and let out a whine.

Oh why had the Gods cursed you so?

Why had they placed a hex on your little human body and filled it with a libido that could only match the ferocity of dragons? Why did they force a potion of lust down your throat and place you in front of Larissa Weems and make you look at her with eyes of dark desire? Why did they place the image of her sloping hips and long legs and thick thighs in your mind and poison you with dreams that followed you into the waking world?

Why did you want her so badly?

Why did you yearn for her touch and why did you want her smell enveloping your body and why- oh god why- did you want to kiss her so often? Why did you want her to take care of you? Why did you want her of all people! to take you to bed and make you see stars? Why did you want red lipstick covering your skin and why did you want your face between her thighs and why did you want to feel her come apart beneath you? Why did she drive you wild? Why did she force you into a state of fluster that you could only pull yourself out of when you were alone?

Why did she plague you?

“I can’t do this…,” you suddenly confessed to no one in particular as you let out a sigh.

The fire had dulled to a simmer long enough for you to stand and slowly make your way to the bathroom.

Pain experienced during heat, you came to find, was far different than any other pain. It was like you felt empty - utterly disgustingly empty - and your body hated that. It rebelled. It made your abdomen, your fucking womb, feel hot. And after the heat, it began to ache. Like you were sitting on the edge of an orgasm and you needed that extra push- that extra kiss- that extra lick of praise- to send you tipping off the edge into an ocean of bliss…. But you couldn’t have it. The push, the kiss, the praise wasn’t there. Nor was the thrust of strong hips, or the scratch of fingernails, or the hissed growl of dominance in your ear. None of it. And your body knew that, so it made you clench and unclench constantly; and it punished you for your negligence and made your clit extra sensitive and your nipples hard and eager to be teased and your skin- oh your poor skin- was practically begging for someone to touch it. To mark it. To hold it and squeeze it and bite it and make it theirs.

Make it hers.

Goodness, you were pathetic. The fog that fell over your mind whenever you thought of Larissa was so hypnotizing that once your thoughts got going, they couldn’t stop.

‘Think of her,’ the strange lustful monster within you hissed, ‘Think of her and all of the sinful things she could do to you. Think of her hands pulling your hair, think of her warm thighs straddling your waist, think of her tongue running itself along your neck… and down your chest… and lower and lower… lower… pooling with drool and letting it drip-drop onto your cunt… licking at your clit…’

A whimper slipped past your lips as soon as you stepped into the water of your shower.

The heat was both soothing and torturous, doing you no favors as it instantly glazed the top of your mind; normally you’d prefer to make it cold to put a damper on your libido, but the need to get off yet again overpowered any lingerings of common sense.

But really, if you were being honest with yourself, there was no common sense during ‘heat’. At all. You figured that out rather quickly when, on the fourth day of wanting to be fucked mercilessly, you began entertaining thoughts of breeding. Of course you didn’t want a child. But the thought… the thought… of such warmth in you… filling what was always so painfully empty… of someone- of her- holding you down and breeding you full, growling that you were to be hers forever, was something that had you cumming in under five minutes. You simply couldn’t help it. And ever since that thought, it was as though you crossed into the dark side. All kinds of kinks and experiments filtered into your horny little brain, and all you could do to keep yourself from going crazy was to keep orgasming until your fingers could barely move.

It was the worst experience of your life…

…when you weren’t sitting on the built-in shower stool and thrusting three fingers into yourself, imagining Larissa watching you from beyond the glass. It was terrible except for when you pictured her telling you to go faster, to slow down, to take your fingers out completely and spread your folds wide so she could coo over how cute you looked when your cunt ached for her touch. It was maddening while you weren’t fantasizing about her stepping into the shower with you- all 6 feet, 3 inches of her- and threading her perfect hand in your hair and pressing you to her venus mound and making you kiss it until you came around your own fingers. Then making you stick your tongue out and look up at her as she slowly rolled her hips, coating you in a taste you knew you’d never ever get tired of.

Maybe even… oh god… maybe even shifting that part of herself and surprising you by sliding the head of her cock into your mouth and making you worship her until you forgot your own name. Running your eager tongue along the hot veins… peering up through your eyelashes as she slowly- slowly- craned her head back and let out a deep bone-shaking groan… Unable to help herself as she pushed you down just a bit more, slowly making that ‘pretty mouth of yours’ (as she called it) take as much of her as it could.

“There… yes, right there darling…” You could practically hear her words, as if she were with you, while your eyes rolled back and your other hand came up to rub furiously as your clit.

Unfortunately, even as you sat there and felt the prickling wave of heat wash over your body, clenching tightly around your own fingers while you orgasmed, you knew that it wouldn’t be enough. You knew that the water running down your face was mixed with frustrated tears. You knew that no climax you reached all by yourself would ever be able to properly satiate your body and every thing it was feeling. After all, a ‘normie’ was not supposed to experience ‘heat’ - and your mind was already so close to breaking all by itself.

It was just a shame that Larissa wasn’t there to snap it in half for you.

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

This was just a quick exercise - I want to better my smut writing abilities. New updates soon and all that. Any thoughts on a Part 2? - Ripley x

✩*⢄⢁✧ --------- ✧⡈⡠*✩

[scoutswritingcorner]

Heaven Says You Are In Danger

Lucifer Morningstar x GN!Reader

TW:HORROR AND DARK THEMES. Lucifer is not nice. He is mean and scary in this. You have been warned. Possessive behavior, talks about religion, choking, breaking bones. 

A/N: I WANT TO SAY I HAVE BEEN RESEARCHING ALL THIS CAUSE I  DONT KNOW SHIT. PLeASE BARE WITH ME. Once again a big thank you to my Lovely, @kurosstuff!!

You walked through the dark forest, flashlight in hand as you walked down the beaten path that mother nature was slowly reclaiming. The winds and rain started to pick up almost unnaturally which wasn’t your first concern. If you stayed out this much longer, your equipment was going to get soaked and there’s no use in having a backpack that was soaking wet weighing you down. You covered your eyes and looked around, allowing your flashlight to illuminate through the darkness easily. Your flashlight landed on an old broken statue of what looked like an angel, walking closer to it you noticed the lack of wings and how the statue almost seemed familiar but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Was that supposed to represent Archangel Michael?

You shook your head and followed the path behind the statue walking up to a door, you looked at it confused, your flashlight shining on the words, “Church of Saint Michael, guidance and Protection is around the corner.” You shook your head at the silly words but pushed open the heavy doors before making your way inside. You were being extra careful to close them behind you, so there were no chances of wolves or bears or whatever was in the woods could get you. You looked around the old church, expecting the roof to have holes and the place to be completely ransacked but everything to be seemingly in perfect condition. Well..everything except for the few pews that had been knocked down and a few sticks had made its way inside. You slowly walked around the place making sure there were no animals or surprises waiting for you before you even settled down for the night.

After making sure everything was cleared you put your bag down and go through it to find warmer clothes and your supplies to at least start a fire. There was nothing to be afraid about changing into different clothes in a church- especially an empty church at that but you hide behind a pillar just to calm your anxious mind, as you pulled your soaking wet shirt over your head that’s when you heard it, the smooth yet deep voice sent a thousand razor sharp pricks down your spine and caused you to freeze up. “Changing in the middle of Church?” It echoed around the church causing you to grab your flashlight and flash it around the empty room, one arm covering your chest as you tried to calm yourself but you didn’t see anyone else. You held the flashlight in your mouth as you put the new shirt on, it was your imagination right? You were anxious and it was your mind playing a trick on you.

You walked around once more and checked between every pew whilst collecting all of the random twigs and sticks you could, sitting down in front of your bag you started to collect the sticks in a small bundle before you, searching around for the firestarter and kindling, did you forget it in your car? The same car that was a two day hike from this location? You growled and grabbed your flashlight to look around thinking you had misplaced it but as you got up a soft thud hit the floor before the firestarter slid across the floor. You watched it and started to feel your hands tremble, your gaze snapped up to see a pair of eyes watching you as you slowly moved the flashlight on the walls but you couldn’t manage to fully shine the light on whatever that thing was, you were so fucking scared. 

“Go on Little Lamb..get warm for me. You wanted to seek salvation from the rain and you’ve found it..do not be afraid. I’m simply..watching.”  The voice called out, you couldn’t move towards the firestarter, why was it paralyzing you? “oh..my poor lamb frozen in fear..it’s okay, I don’t bite. Go on, take it. I found it just for you.” You swallowed down the fear and anxiety that was telling you to just run out of there. Slowly crouching down you reached over, grabbing the firestarter and quickly lighting the small campfire you made trying to ignore how the eyes watched you from the darkness. Come morning, you’d be out of here. Just focus on warming up. “Don’t ignore me, Little Lamb…come on can I not hear your voice?” You gulped and shook your head moving to lay your soaking wet clothes around the growing fire. “Such a shame..maybe I can figure it out in other ways.”  The voice cooed out before the eyes disappeared completely leaving you alone in the darkness.

You sit in silence for what felt like hours before you gulped down any fear, “Who are you? You can’t be Saint Michael..or God..” You called out into the darkness afraid of what would happen next. “Who am I?”  The voice called out as footsteps echoed around you before a singular apple rolled in front of you, “..Do you have any guesses?”  You stared at the apple for a moment racking your brain before it hit you, “Seems like you figured it out, Little Lamb. Say it. Say. My. Name.” The voice hissed out as your mouth went dry, your heart hitting your chest and with every breath you took it felt suffocating. “You’re…Lucifer.” You watched as the fire went out and clawed hands grabbed your throat pushing you down onto the ground. Flashlight flickering as a dark chuckle left his lips, sharp teeth on full display as you got a good look at his face.

The pale skin, the rosy red cheeks, the way his golden eyes glowed in the darkness. “Such a smart lamb you are. You’re cuter up close too..maybe I should drag you down into hell with me and make you all mine. My little human..my lamb.” He growled out his snake like tongue licking at the rows of fangs as he started to slowly squeeze your neck. You gasped and teared up, this is not how you wanted to die. “Oh no more tears, Lamb..you're safe here with me..God can’t save you now..he doesn’t care to listen.” You closed your eyes before the suffocating squeeze of his hands around your neck disappeared and he cradled your face, softly cooing at you. Like he wasn’t just choking you out five seconds ago, his face unnaturally close to yours. He smelled like a campfire and..apple cinnamon? Well apples were-..are his thing. 

“What do you want from me?” You sobbed out flinching from how close his sharp talon-like nails were close to your eyes. He clicked his tongue and held your head still in his iron-like grip, you couldn’t fight him off if you tried. “I think you already know what I want, Lamb..I want you to worship me like you worship God and I promise..not to lead you astray, my own little Bishop.” He cooed out his soft voice giving you a sense of comfort yet a part of you yelled to fight back, claw at his eyes and run out of the church. Those eyes couldn’t be trusted, not when they are looking past you..deep into your soul. You clenched your jaw, his thumbs soothingly rubbing at your jawline unconsciously making you slowly unclench your jaw, “All I need is an answer, Lamb and I’ll make your dreams come true..even the ones that you're pushing away from the forefront of your mind..” You felt your face heat up at that but let out a calming breath as you tried to ignore how his soft voice sent shivers down your spine as you opened your mouth watching his eyes light up in glee as you whispered out a soft, “..yes..” His red pupils dilated even more as he stared down at you, like he had just won one last prize.

“Good..Now there is one last thing for you to do for me, little lamb. You think you can handle that?” His thumbs moved down to force your lips into a smile as he chuckled as he looked down at you..was he undressing you with his eyes? The thought sparked something aflame deep inside of you as you watched as bright red horns protruded from his head. You blinked and tried to look away but found it harder than it seemed, your eyes kept drifting back to his. Allowing your eyes to finally get used to the darkness surrounding you both, as you got a good look at him your eyes widened in horror as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest. He was too perfect.

He was the first fallen angel, it was to be suspected. It was too much, you needed to run. Forget everything in this place and run, in a flash you had snagged the flashlight and smashed it across his head, easily backing up as you tried to escape. The flashlight immediately shattered as glowing golden blood dripped down onto the floor below, a loud shaking snarl echoed through the chamber. Scrambling to your feet you tried to beeline it for the doors but suddenly a fallen pew moved slamming into your legs and making you fall face first onto the stone floor. A sickening crack filled the air before your senses were filled with the familiar metallic taste of your own blood. 

You coughed and spit out the blood whimpering before you felt two clawed hands wrap around your ankles and pull you back closer to him. “Now now, Little Lamb. There is no reason to be attacking your God.” He snarled out easily snapping one of your ankles in half, his smile growing as he heard your sobs and screams. “You aren’t my god.” You replied between tears before his clawed hands wrapped around your neck squeezing easily cutting off your oxygen. “I am and you will obey me as such. He won’t listen to you. I will. Think about it, Lamb.” He let go of your neck allowing you to gasp and choke for air, sobbing out as you tried to claw away pathetically. 

“What is it that you want, Lamb? Do you not want to be my Bishop..do you not want to worship me?” He pulled you back towards him, “I want to go home- please..I just want to go home.” You laid your head on your arms, you could feel your own sanity slipping. The whispers in your head got louder, you could just let go..he’d take care of you right? He promised you. “But you are home, Lamb..” He purred out and easily pulled you to sit up onto his lap, “You are my Bishop..my sole worshiper and I take care of my people.” His lips brushed against your ear as one of his hands cupped your jaw, he could sense your doubt and he hated it. 

“Tell me…does your god listen to you when you call for him?” He asked, watching as you sobbed out shaking your head, making him click his tongue in thought, his eyes scanning your blood and tear stained face. “But I will..I’ll listen to your every whim and desire..to your plea for a better life. All you have to do for me, Lamb..is..submit. Tell me your mine, my favorite little Bishop.”  His hand tilted your face towards him, “I will never ignore you..never throw you to the side like that FALSE idol has, my sweet lamb.” You had stopped crying by now, hands shakily clinging to his arms, “Just..give in, Little Lamb.” His voice sent a shiver down your spine as you slowly nodded at his words, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip.

“Now..one last test for you, Lamb..are you ready?” He asked as you stared up into those golden eyes, those perfect golden eyes that felt like you were staring into hell itself. “Let me have one taste, Lamb..”  You looked at him confused, raising your head up towards him as his serpentine tongue licked at his teeth. Oh..Oh..that kind of tasting.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger. I might do a part two where it’s just smut but I wanted to make this part purely horror esque. Let me know if you guys want a part two.

[httpskuzuu]

Softer

hola :D fyodor is alive - fyodor esta vivo I was thinking about making a masterlist or something like that, I don't know if when I upload this I will have it published or how I will do it

anyway, I really liked this and enjoyed writing it, it's longer than I usually post but Idk, by the way, I hated translating this, it was a pain in the ass, but that's what I get for joining a mostly English community ññññññññññññ-- well, this is mostly inspired by Sinner by TheBloodySadist, you can find it in Ao3 if you want to read it, I had an obsession with it a few months xd

jaja this has gone on too long, well, adiós adiós :p

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

sumary: You tried to escape and now you have to take the consequences, but you make something change in Fyodor... (juju, mistery >:p) Pt.2

tw: yandere behavior, kidnapping, failed escape attempt, explicit punishment, explicit violence, blood, broken bones, humiliation¿, manipulation, brainwashing, stockholm syndrome, reader needs therapy, stabbing, nudity, sedative, Fyodor is a fucking tw

You tremble under the weight of the boot on your ribs, you swear that at some point you hear them cracking along with an agonizing pain throughout your body.

The pressure on your body makes it impossible for you to breathe properly, which is a serious problem considering you are hyperventilating. Every breath burns your exhausted lungs and aggravates the pain.

You'd ask Fyodor to kill you already if it weren't for the fact that your throat is in a terrible condition from so much screaming and pleading.

"Well, I see I can't trust you, can I?" Despite the situation, Fyodor's tone provokes you inner anger, sounding so sarcastic. Something deep inside you tells you it's not sarcasm, it's concern, but you can't believe it, especially not coming from Fyodor.

You imagine that, if you had the strength at this moment, you would kill him with your own hands. You know well you wouldn't be able to, but it's pleasant to think about it.

"I do everything for you, and still you try to escape." He puts more pressure against your ribs and you've never felt as much pain as you do now. "You spoiled brat." He growls and his Russian accent becomes much thicker.

He removes his foot from your body and you can breathe. Relief courses through your veins and, out of pure instinct, you thank him for that act of kindness. He could have stretched it out longer, put more pressure on you and broken your ribs more, but he was merciful and gave you a break…. A break, you know that your punishment is not yet over.

You don't know yourself and your thoughts. One thing you have to hand it to Fyodor is that his training is really effective, but you're tougher than that, or at least you like to think so. Realistically, right now, you just want to curl up against him.

A kick in the side snaps you out of your thoughts, you moan and cry from the pain, your throat burning with fire. You never want to utter a sound again in your life after this.

"Aw, you poor thing… Does it hurt? Now you know how I feel every time you leave me." He's lying, you know that, but that doesn't take away the guilt that settles in your head free-form.

You shouldn't have run away, Fyodor isn't even that bad if you behaved: no gratuitous physical harm and he takes better care of you than you could ask of a kidnapper. You were an idiot, you deserved all this for not appreciating your life with Fyodor properly. God… Why did you try to escape in the first place? The Russian would always would catch you, you were just causing trouble.

Ignoring your destroyed throat, you decide to speak. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't try to escape again. Please give me another chance, I'll be good…"

Fyodor kneels down next to your agonized body. He puts his hand against your tear-stained cheek, at first you flinch, thinking he was going to hurt you more, but then you lean almost automatically against his cold hand.

You cry harder as you feel Fyodor's gentle touch, you don't quite understand what's wrong with you, you just know that you want to melt against his hand. You close your eyes and tremble. You want a hug from him, you know you shouldn't want that, that it's disgusting, he kidnapped you and hurt you, but at a time like this, when you've been disobedient, he's still showing you affection….

"Shh, it's okay, милый." He catches the falling tears with his thumb. "I know you're sorry, but your punishment isn't over yet." You automatically tense up and slowly open your eyes to look at the man in front of you, there is a smirk of superiority painted on his face, observing your pathetic appearance.

You don't dare open your mouth to complain because deep down you know very well that you deserve it, you deserve the pain for being so bratty and causing inconvenience to Fyodor. You accept what lies ahead of you and let Fyodor pull his hand away from you.

With his grip firmly on your hip, he guides you to turn around. You keep the cheek that was previously receiving the loving touch against the ground a thousand times colder than Fyodor.

You concentrate exclusively on the Russian's hands, it's just an idiotic attempt to ignore the pain all over your body. He pulls up your shirt, leaving your back bare against the cold, why is everything so cold all of a sudden? Fyodor is too, in a way he brings you peace of mind, it's like he's everywhere, even in the air…. What the hell are you thinking? You firmly believe you're delusional at this point, these are not your real thoughts, it's clear to you, he put all these idiotic ideas in your head and now you can't get them out. It's agonizing in a certain way.

The only thing you hear is your irregular breathing, if it wasn't for Fyodor's hand clamped on your hip, you would think you were alone right now, and you don't know if you would like that more or less.

Something sharpening presses against your upper back. Everything breaks down in a moment as Fyodor makes a straight cut across your entire back. It hurts horrendously, especially as the blood starts to spurt out. You start to feel dizzy and for a few moments you convince yourself you're going to pass out, but no, your body is still holding on, focused solely on Fyodor's hand.

"Breathe, моя любовь. It's just a cut." You repeat Fyodor's last sentence in your head like a mantra: it's just a cut, it's just a cut. He could have done it much worse to you, you were fine, just a cut.

You take comfort in closing your eyes hard and imagining that you are once again a child at the doctor's office, that you are simply having blood drawn for a blood test because you have not been feeling very well lately. You make a fist with your hand and clench it, digging your fingernails deep into your palm, it's as if you are clutching the hand of one of your parents for comfort. There is no more pain, it's okay, it's all right-

Another cut, this time horizontal, creates a cross on your back. You don't care, you're at the hospital, and you're safe, nothing will happen to you. It's just a cut.

Fyodor stabs the weapon into your side. You open your eyes wide as a torn scream comes out of your mouth.

Fuck it all, do you really deserve this? Have you been so horrible? You assume that Fyodor simply hates you, that he wants to torture you.

Fyodor pulls the weapon out of your body, you look out of the corner of your eye and the wound doesn't seem to be that bad, you thought it was deeper because of the pain, but no, it was something apparently superficial. You didn't want to know how much it would hurt if he had really stabbed you deeper.

Fyodor's voice right next to your ear startles you. "Sorry, was that too much? Did I hurt my little one too much?" That mocking tone again, but you hear a hint of love and concern, or so you assume. No, it's impossible for Fyodor to hate you, if he hated you there wasn't that hint of love, was there? If he hated you, he wouldn't say to you like that: my little one, his little one.

"I can't take it anymore! Please, Fyodor!" He leaves a chaste kiss on the back of your neck, and you cry disconsolately, you don't know why, but you do know it's not because of the pain, the pain doesn't matter anymore.

"You can." Fyodor's voice is the ultimate authority right now, and if he says you can take it, it's because you can. "You don't want to disappoint me, do you?"

After those words you instantly panic, you desperately shake your head, of course you don't want to disappoint him! You have to accept your punishment, it was your fault in the first place.

"Brace yourself, dear." Fyodor leaves a trail of kisses from the nape of your neck all the way down your back, above the vertical cut. You assume he's filled his lips with blood and hate yourself at the thought of how attractive he'd look like that.

A new cut interrupts your hatred. You scream, but nothing more, you can take it, for Fyodor….

It's just one cut.

You don't know how many cuts there are next, you are not able to count them. You don't feel your throat anymore, but miraculously it still works, your screams are still coming out of it, you are relieved because you still want to keep your voice to talk to Fyodor, to ask him to hold you.

Fyodor removes your shirt completely and lays it aside on the floor. He holds you firmly and helps you sit up, any movement is hell for your ribs, but you endure it by concentrating on your kidnapper, on his loving but steadfast touch.

You look at him dizzy, teary-eyed and shattered. He is smiling, you have not disappointed him. Your head hurts as you cry disconsolately against his chest again.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying now? Your punishment is over, I won't hurt you anymore."

"You…" You're unable to speak, it's too much at once, the pain and your thoughts coming together in a ball of discomfort. You shake your head and hug him tightly.

"Are you afraid?" You weakly shake your head. It's true that Fyodor scares you, especially on these occasions when he punishes you, but you're not crying about it now.

Funny, you don't know why you're crying, but you do know what you're not crying about.

Fyodor is silent, thinking about why you're crying. "Is it about the pain?" You deny again.

Fyodor hums thoughtfully. "If you don't tell me what it is, I can't help you." You ponder on that: does he want to help you? Is he serious?

You make the feeble attempt to gather your thoughts and speak. "It's just- I don't know" Your voice comes out shakier than you wish it would. "When you touch me… It feels so good, I don't deserve it, I don't-"

"Oh, I see… Aren't you crying because of something bad? Is it because it feels good?" You nod quickly, yes, that's as close as you feel. You're happy when it touches you, when it's good to you. Were you crying out of happiness? Well, you guess so, although it feels more depressing.

"It's okay, relax." He leaves a kiss in front, and it breaks you inside. "You've taken the punishment very well, come on, you deserve to be taken care of."

The process of getting up from the floor is horrible, not only because of the pain all over your body and your numb legs, but because your mind doesn't stop spinning around Fyodor's last sentence. It feels horrible and so good at the same time that your mind is only around one specific person.

He helps you up and you let him lean your useless body against his. He guides you through the house, being patient with your slow pace. He's mostly silent, except when he tells you how well you're doing or that not long to go. Since when did Fyodor know how to talk so pleasantly?

You reach the bathroom, he sits you on the toilet and turns on the bathtub faucet. While it is filling, Fyodor takes some pills out of a drawer that you have always found locked. You don't know what the pills are or what they're for, but he hands you one and you take it without question.

You let your head fall against Fyodor's stomach, even though he is standing upright he doesn't move an inch and lets you be comfortable, he strokes your hair and you sigh lovingly. You don't deserve it, but you need more of this Fyodor, the soft Fyodor who takes care of you and makes you feel good, what did you have to do in the future to keep it in this shape? If you need to be damaged for that, well, you are willing to do it.

"The tub is full." He warns and moves a little away from you, causing you to raise your head. You miss a little that he's touching you, even though he's only been separated of you for three seconds. He holds you under your armpits and helps you up. "I need you to stand up on your own, can you, дорогой?"

You try not to focus so much on Fyodor asking you if you could do it instead of just sending you the order, and focus on standing on your own.

The Russian undresses you completely, his hands are soft, and you feel them all over your body. They are so cold, and you are so cold too now that you are naked. You are vulnerable, now more than ever, and Fyodor's fixed gaze on you disturbs you. You are simply an easy prey to hunt, his prey.

He doesn't look like a hunter now, as much as his gaze is like knives stabbing through every spot he focuses on, you think he's not doing it on purpose. Fyodor doesn't know how to be nice, he never has. He knows how to be neutral: he can keep you alive and give you necessities, but he can't kiss you and keep you warm.

But there's something wrong with all this, he's being warm because since when are his hands so soft against your battered body? You need him, you need him so much it hurts, is this his way of being nice? Okay, fine, you accept it without complaint.

When he puts you in the tub you want to die, the cuts on your back burn at the contact of the water. You don't dare say a word at that or ask Fyodor to pull you out, you're afraid you'll upset him, that he'll get tired of you being so weak and whiny and stop being gentle. Fyodor could have left you lying on the cold floor, bleeding, but he didn't. You can't be an unbearable child to him.

The Russian starts washing your body, putting special emphasis on your cuts and the wound on your side. You look at his serious face with need, why were you only now realizing how handsome he was? Mmmh, you must have been blind before. He notices obviously your shy look on his lips and he smiles, that smile indicating that he was superior to you and despite that, he was still keeping you alive and forgiving of everything you did.

He approaches you and gives you the only thing you needed to be satisfied for today: a kiss. It reminds you of all the good things, strangely enough in those memories Fyodor also appears and disturbs you minimally.

You question yourself that, maybe, Fyodor does know how to be gentle.

This is the proof you need to know that now this was a new version, right? He kissed you. You feel a warmth spreading throughout your body, now it is warm, and his hands are warm too. There is a big change in temperature and it feels like heaven.

After that, Fyodor continued to wash you with special care, ignoring how your face might explode from how red it was.

The only thing that could crush the heat was tiredness, you almost fell asleep a couple of times, but you didn't want to fall asleep because it would be like wasting time with this soft Fyodor, what if tomorrow he returned to his serious and impassive face? You can't waste this time or you would regret it.

"Go to sleep, take it easy. I'll take you to bed when I'm finished." You looked at him as the most merciful being in the world. He cared about you…

You hold back your sobs for these acts of kindness, you don't want to cry anymore, not only to avoid possible discomfort in Fyodor, but for yourself, the headache is unbearable.

You let yourself fall asleep, with your head supported on your knees and Fyodor's soothing touch.

You had a nightmare which you don't remember, or don't want to remember. You wake up with your body held in Fyodor's arms, warm and gentle.

Since when did everything become so homey? Homey? Would that be the right word? Describing any situation involving Fyodor with that word doesn't feel natural to you.

You find it hard to feel your body, and your thoughts don't flow as quickly and aggressively as they used to. It's like being enveloped in a cloud, full of comfort and calmness.

You just feel something on your side, at the site of the shallow stab wound. You think maybe it's some bandage, but your limbs are asleep and too comfortable against Fyodor to move them to check. Otherwise, you feel nothing, only someone else's hand on your lower belly, it's extremely intimate in your perspective.

You turn your sleepy head and glance sideways at Fyodor. He seems calm, looking at you, his face is emotionless again and it scares you. You come to convince yourself that he is still the soft Fyodor, if he wasn't his hand wouldn't be on you, he still hasn't changed, you repeat that to yourself until you believe it.

"… Fyodor, do you know what?" Your voice comes out weak and hoarse, you wonder how soon your throat will heal. You're thankful you can't feel it well, so there's no pain anymore.

"Mmmh?"

"I think I love you."

"Do you?" There is a change, minuscule, but a change.

You nod and look away from his face, you can't stand it, no. There has been a change, you don't know in what. There's been a change, a change! Is it good or bad? You want to think it's a nice thing.

"You're different."

"I am? In what way?"

"You're softer, something nice."

"You're drugged, you don't talk sense."

"But you're different! Seriously, you never take care of me."

Silence rules the room and it hurts. Why did you talk? What idiocy, it's your fault everything that happens now, all your fault.

"You cried with happiness when I helped you sit up." Your gaze returns to the other.

"I know, so what? You want me to cry again?" There are no bad intentions behind your comment, there really aren't. You feel your brain empty, and you can't quite interpret the situation, what is Fyodor trying to tell you? Is he angry? Is he going to punish you again? It's exhausting to use your brain in this state, so you just give up and go with the flow.

"No, I don't want that." The silence stretches a little longer and, for just a few seconds, Fyodor looks away. He looks away. "I just… I thought maybe you'd be happier if I treated you good."

"Ah…" He wanted you to be happy? Really?

"I know I hurt you, but you know I only do it when you deserve it, don't you?" You nod and the cuts on your back burn for a few seconds. "Good. I really want you to be happy, with me."

You feel like at any moment the old Fyodor will appear through the door and say something like it was all a test, and then punish you for failing it. It's a horrible feeling, but you come to believe that it will seriously pass.

"So… Are you still going to be soft?"

"Yes, only if you are obedient in return."

Yes, yes, yes. He's going to keep being gentle. For some reason your chest hurts, and you sob, Fyodor has a few drops of surprise in his expression. You hide from his gaze and just focus on the yes, it's like releasing a horrible burden out of your body. You weren't afraid he was lying, something told you he wasn't, his expression maybe, or his voice, or….

"Are you crying with happiness now too?"

"I like the soft Fyodor…"

"Mmmh, that's good, isn't it?" He pulls you a little closer to his face and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead. You'd like to kiss him in return, but you can't move. "I'll keep being soft then."

I swear all I could think about while writing this was to to send it all to hell and make these two fuck

maybe I will make a second part

[octopus-punching-union]

Subaru Kagami headcanons

(some spoilers for Hotarubi chapter)

kind of a foodie

Has never thought of himself like that and would deny it if you ever pointed it out

"But of course I spend hours thinking about what snacks and tea my friends would like. It's just part of being a gracious host"

He doesn't really cook, though. If he tried, he could follow a recipe competently, but he would never serve a guest anything less than perfect. And cooking just for himself is a lot of effort and he's not very good at doing nice things for himself. (He has just hot water for breakfast??! Not even tea or coffee??)

He remembers his friends' favorites and makes sure he always has something they like on hand

(don't think about him being alone after the Clash and trying to figure out what to do with his stash of Zenji's favorite things)

On a lighter note. He was checking out Sho's food truck the instant it appeared on campus — he totally went to the mystery diner exactly once when it first opened. Like, even before Ren got hired, when it was just the anomalies working there. It was extremely awkward (he had so many questions and the anomalies can't talk), but he was polite and has never gone back. He doesn't even like to walk past the diner anymore because he feels so awkward about it.

sensory issues

Since he picks up residual memories from just about everything he touches, Subaru is very intentional about everything he buys — especially clothes that are touching his skin all day

Given all the issues with working conditions in the production of clothing, he has a hard time buying clothes and needs to touch everything. There are probably a few students in Hotarubi who are really passionate about sewing, knitting, or other textile crafts, and he goes to them whenever possible.

He puts so much work into helping you pick out a yukata for the summer festivals. He's anxious about taking up too much of your time, so he'll go beforehand so that he can take his time touching everything. He wants it to be perfect and to suit you in every way.

childhood / "rebellion"

Gifted kid burnout x 1000. Subaru has been working since he was four years old and his family is a big deal — he's been in the public eye since he was very young and always had to be on his best behavior because someone was always watching. (No wonder he has anxiety...)

So like, a lot of people who had a strict upbringing kinda go off the rails as soon as they get a little bit of freedom. But to (formal, reserved, self-conscious) Subaru, "subversive" means things like: 1) being a normal student at a normal school (not actually normal at all), 2) lying about the true nature of his stigma so that he won't be ostracized by his peers, and 3) advocating, through the proper channels, for his werewolf bff to be released from prison.

He feels like he's in his rebellious phase right now though, and that's what matters. Plenty of ordinary things feel thrilling just because he was never allowed to do them. Just being around people his own age is exciting! He's never had friends before.

(Ever since he was little, school always took backseat to his kabuki career. Now he's at the top of his class! He's so good at rebelling, guys 🥲)

He is (very slowly) learning to relax and be less formal. Zenji's death really affected him, and he doesn't seem totally comfortable around Haku. I'm really hoping Sho will help him to feel more confident and free!Lyca will cause problems and help him loosen up a little.

I really want him to go on a motorcycle ride with Sho at some point. I ship it think it would be cute. He would over-apologize for being nervous and clingy and Sho wouldn't even clock it as a big deal.

as your boyfriend

No matter what you do, your relationship will be a really slow burn. He's hesitant, afraid of doing something wrong, and genuinely doesn't understand why you would want him. You'll have to be the one pursuing him. (But, if you're patient, your relationship completely changes as he becomes more comfortable and confident.)

He loathes his stigma. It means you'll never have privacy from him, and at first he thinks you haven't considered the extent of it. Of course you'll change your mind, he thinks, once you realize it's constant and unending. He thinks of his affection and desire as an imposition that you'll find offputting, at best.

(Besides, there are plenty of people who would be better suited to being your partner, he thinks. Haku is so relaxed and has no problem joking around with you. Zenji is passionate and unafraid to express his admiration for you. In comparison, Subaru feels quiet and awkward and unable to talk about how he truly feels.)

He can't control what he sees with his stigma. It's frequently innocuous, but when he sees something painful or heavy, he feels that he's betraying you. Because you didn't choose to entrust him with those memories.

So when he accidentally sees something heavier, he'll share one of his secrets in return. He wants you to feel safe being vulnerable with him in this way.

(but sometimes, when you're asleep next to him and he's feeling particularly anxious or insecure, he might touch you hoping to see any reassurance that you're happy with him. He trusts you, he really does, but what if he's not good enough? What if you're only pretending to be happy to spare his feelings? He always feels like shit afterwards.)

Because of all this, he's really uncomfortable with physical affection at first. He feels a lot of guilt for wanting to be closer and wanting to touch you, and he worries that you'll think he's creepy or trying to dig through your past. His affection is sporadic, as he spends a lot of time worrying and mentally preparing.

Also, like. He sends a two paragraph text message full of pre-emptive apologies just to ask you to get lunch. He's going to be that stressed about all of your firsts.

Before asking you to be intimate for the first time, he'll wait until he's so pent up that he can't stand it, then he'll feel really awkward about asking. Because what if you don't want him? What if he's pressuring you just by asking? It's ok if you don't want to, he assures you, and he's so relieved when you say yes.

Not at all a fan of PDA. He'll sit closer to you when you're hanging out with the other ghouls. He might hold your hand if he thinks no one's paying attention. I think he would be clingy when really drunk, but then upon sobering up would be so embarrassed if anyone else witnessed it. (Haku would like gently tease him about it and he would be dying inside.)

He expresses his affection more often with food and gifts — nothing extravagant, just little things to show that he's thinking of you. He wants to spend a lot of time with you, even if he seems distant. Some of his more formal mannerisms with always be there, not because he's uncomfortable or trying to distance himself, but as a way of showing how much he respects and cares for you.

Over time, you become someone he can relax with, someone he feels secure around. He'll always hesitate for a moment before touching you, giving you a chance to move away, but he doesn't feel the crushing guilt anymore.

(he still doesn't eat breakfast, but it's because he would rather stay in bed with you in the quiet of the early morning. It helps him calm and center himself before getting up for the day.)

He wants a peaceful life with you, unremarkable except for the love that you share.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Do you think Valentino from Hazbin is a sociopath?

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

I don't think he has an antisocial personality disorder. I can categorize him as a man with borderline personality disorder with antisocial tendencies (generally men with BPD are quite likely to exhibit APD traits).

Why do I interpret his behavior as BPD:

❤️ mood swings and incoherent personality. Like he's a completely different person with Vox and with Angel. Duh, even during his one scene with Vox his whole attitude did 180° in seconds.

❤️ hardcore abandonment issues. It makes him act out to get Vox's attention. And he hates Angel so much not because of pure sadism, but because he used to love him (well, at least he interpreted his feelings as love). As he became more and more toxic and after Angel finally tried to stand up for himself, Valentino felt so terribly rejected and betrayed that he immediately started hating him.

❤️ there's this thing called splitting and it means that people with BPD perceive others very binary, as either good or bad. There's nothing between love and hate and those emotions can change rapidly. So yeah imo he occasionally "loves" Angel and that's why he hasn't killed him yet but at the same time he proceeds to abuse him so terribly (I can't buy the "you make me money" excuse, no amount of money would matter if he really wanted to kill him. And I don't believe he keeps him alive just to torture him, Angel's behavior causes him too much stress. Like, he cares so much.).

❤️ Things common for men with BPD are substance abuse (overlord of drugs, duh), aggressive behaviors, and violent tendencies (I don't think I need to provide you with an example)

❤️ General high novelty seeking. It essentially means looking for stimuli to feel anything and just fill horrifying emotional emptiness (in the case of BPD; novelty-seeking is also a trait of perfectly healthy people that differs individually). I connect this novelty-seeking thing to him being an overlord of depravity, he loves perversion for the sake of perversion because everything extreme he does or witnesses makes him feel things again. And he bores very quickly so he has to constantly push boundaries further.

❤️ Autodestructive tendencies. We don't see them in the text, I just assume they are there. Again - drugs, unsafe sex, and (according to my headcanons) involvement in violent and irresponsible "BDSM" (I put it in a quotation because BDSM to be BDSM must be safe and based on informed consent, trust and good communication) which is essentially using Vox' sadism to inflict harm on himself. He rather do it using someone else's hands because he perceives this desire to self-harm as a weakness but at the same time, can't resist it.

Vox hc | Velvette hc | Vees + Angel hc

[lilybecca1]

My analysis on Midoriya and why I think he has undiagnosed BPD

Throughout Izuku's childhood, he was always seen as weird, off-putting, an outsider to social norms. Being left out, being seen as "different" is very common amongst people, especially kids, with undiagnosed disorders. So let's jump straight into it. What is BPD and how does it develop? (Contains manga spoilers)

Here are a few summaries amongst many that I have found (also, I'm not a psychologist or a healthcare professional, these are all just based on my own observations):

BPD, short for Borderline Personality Disorder, is a severe mental health condition characterized by a pervasive and challenging pattern of symptoms including emotional dysregulation, unstable self-identity, fear of abandonment, intense and unstable interpersonal relationships, impulsivity, and self-harming behaviors.

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) experience extreme emotions. Once a powerful emotion is triggered, it is very hard for them to calm down. Because of this, they often have unstable relationships. They also engage in self-destructive behavior.

Researchers think that BPD is caused by a combination of factors, including:

Stressful or traumatic life events (for example, emotional abuse, neglect, often having felt afraid, upset, unsupported or invalidated),

And genetic factors.

Symptoms may include:

A strong fear of abandonment. This includes going to extreme measures so you're not separated or rejected, even if these fears are made up.

A pattern of unstable, intense relationships, such as believing someone is perfect one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel.

Quick changes in how you see yourself. This includes shifting goals and values, as well as seeing yourself as bad or as if you don't exist.

Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality.

Self-injury

Wide mood swings that last from a few hours to a few days. These mood swings can include periods of being very happy, irritable or anxious, or feeling shame.

Ongoing feelings of emptiness.

Inappropriate, strong anger, such as losing your temper often, being sarcastic or bitter, or physically fighting.

Now, let's get into it.

BPD, like all disorders, isn't the same for every person. Symptoms and the intensity of these symptoms can vary. It can make some people's life and relationships really difficult, but others can go on for years undiagnosed living a completely happy life without even knowing there's anything wrong. Midoriya's case, in my opinion, is the latter. These symptoms don't surface that obviously in him, but I believe, in different circumstances (queue those Villain Deku and traumatized Deku fics) these symptoms and behaviours could actually turn into much bigger problems and affect his life in a much more impactful way. But, in any case, let's analyze these symptoms and how they may have surfaced in him throughout the manga.

Of course, I decided to turn to TikTok as well and watch some actual explanations and experiences from people who actually have been diagnosed with this disorder in order to understand BPD on a more subjective level, not just objective. And what I have found turned out to be very interesting.

People with BPD often develop a very emotionally attached connection with one specific person in their life, which is their "Favorite person". This person can be anything including a friend, family, therapist, partner, etc. This is a person that someone with BPD can become dependent on. They often view them as a person who's perfect and can do nothing wrong. They might overshare, and expect availability from that person at all times. The dependence on this person goes beyond just adoration, because they are idolizing them to the point where it's all consuming. A person with BPD can switch from absolute adoration one moment to absolute hate the next. They might have trouble with boundaries, sometimes even having zero boundaries when it comes to that person. Their life constantly revolves around that person and the favorite person's identity becomes their own, and they can feel literal physical pain when losing that person. You see where I'm getting at?

I believe Midoriya has developed this dependency and attachment towards one particular person, can you guess who?

Yep, Bakugo Katsuki

Midoriya views Kacchan as perfect, as the embodiment of the image of victory. It's like he blindly ignores Katsuki's bad traits and the things he has done to him, and he idealizes him to the point that Katsuki became his symbol of victory. So much so that he himself has absorbed this identity that he built around Katsuki, for example during battles, which we see during the moments he clearly imitates Bakugo and mirrors him. Izuku "ILoveKacchan'sPersonalSpace" Midoriya basically has zero boundaries when it comes to Katsuki, I mean y'all let's not forget he basically stalked him and even knows what body part Katsuki washes first in the shower. Not to mention he gives zero fucks about boundaries when he butts into Bakugo's emotions even though Bakugo has clearly tried setting boundaries for almost their whole time knowing each other. Deku has also overshared with Katsuki(and only Katsuki), when he told him about OFA even though it was literally meant to be the one secret that he should have kept to himself. His life has always revolved around Bakugo to the point he cannot keep himself away from him.

And talk about experiencing physical pain when losing the favorite person...remember when Bakugo was kidnapped? Yeah, remember that kinda cringe and second hand embarrassing, absolutely animalistic scream that Midoriya let out? Yeah, well..... And then when he actually lost Katsuki, when he saw his dead body. Izuku lost control of his quirks in the middle of a freaking battle, LITERALLY started choking on Blackwhip and screaming in pain, and Blackwhip turned into a heart pierced by three swords that symbolizes intense and extreme physical and emotional pain. Need I say more? No.

And if you think Midoriya isn't capable of extreme hate too, ahhahaha, you're wrong. He can fr switch from absolutely adoring his Kacchan to planning how he's gonna rip off his legs in his diary. Yeah, I haven't forgotten about that one, Izuku.

So, it's very clear that Bakugo is Midoriya's FP and that he has developed this unhealthy, borderline toxic dependency towards him. But let's break down his character even further.

People with BPD tend to engage in self-harming and dangerous activities impulsively, diving in without thinking, in order to feel something. Well, we can tick that one too. Problem child number 1 is known to do and jump into things impulsively without thinking, even if it causes self-injury. In fact, he sometimes engages these self-destructive behaviours on purpose, like all those times when he broke his own bones over and over again. All this just so he can make Todoroki use his right side. Seriously, Deku. Yes, they are training to be heroes, but noone in the class is as reckless and impulsive as Izuku.

Which actually brings me to my next point, which is people with BPD objectifying themselves for validation, going insane lengths just to prove their own self-worth, never having a clear sense of self and seeing themselves as bad or as if they don't exist. I have talked about this in a previous theory of mine too, which you can read here. Midoriya Izuku does not have a clear sense of self. He mirrors others around him, behaving according to the mood and expectations of others. He has no sense of self, because he has built his identity around wanting to be a hero. To him, he is only worth something if he reaches that goal, that dream. Meaning he has no self worth or identity unless he does as he is expected to do, aka be a hero and put everyone else before himself, sacrificing his own needs, and in worse cases his own well-being. He basically objectifies his own self and turns himself into a simple puppet, a Deku, an empty vessel that can hold OFA and his dream of being a hero. To himself, he is nothing more than an object that's meant to be sacrificed if it's needed.

Now, let's continue with: emotional dysregulation, extreme mood swings, and inappropriate, strong anger, such as losing your temper often, being sarcastic or bitter, or physically fighting.

Well, first let's talk about something that's called "splitting". BPD is a disorder that causes extreme mood swings, making the person go one second from feeling happy and fine, to the next second feeling complete, pure rage. There is a fine line between these two moods, and it's very easy to fall over the edge. For some people, it can happen multiple times a day and could last from minutes to hours to even days, and for others, it can happen very rarely, it depends on how severe the symptoms are for each person. One thing in common though, is that splitting occurs when a specific memory, trauma or emotion gets triggered.

There are different types of splits, one of them being Rage split. Rage splits usually come with sudden outbursts of anger that seemingly come out of nowhere. When it occurs, the person might feel a tightness in their chest, their vision might narrow. They might experience a burning sensation in their chest as if their heart is trying to escape. This overwhelming emotion of anger can cause them to become infuriated with someone or something for no apparent reason. These episodes can cause impulsive actions, inappropriate speech and violent behaviour. It's almost like a cathartic release of emotion, and oftentimes the person doesn't remember the event fully, or only remembers it as a blur.

Now let's compare Midoriya's rage and outbursts and how they could be considered as splitting.

Scenario One: Izuku screaming his ass off saying GIVE ME MY KACCHAN BACK, charging at the obviously overpowered villains with two broken arms. Now, we can all agree that this was pretty out of character for him, and everyone was like Okay wtf. So the threat of losing Katsuki(which also directly correlates to his fear of abandonment) triggered him and made him impulsively and recklessly run towards the villains, even though he was completely defenseless.

Scenario Two: "Monoma, you b*tch". Midoriya literally unlocking a NEW QUIRK cause Monoma was talking shit about his FP, causing violent behaviour from him, getting tunnel vision, being completely OUT of it to the point they had to use Shinso's quirk to make him snap out of the episode. And now, this wasn't just about some rando insulting Bakugo. In my theory I explained how Monoma insulting Bakugo was essentially Monoma insulting Izuku's own values and identity. Because he has absorbed Bakugo's ideals, his values, his desire to win. Monoma talking shit about him felt like he just insulted who Izuku was as a person, as if he jabbed at the very essence of Izuku's dream, of his ideals. THAT was why it triggered him so bad.

Scenario Three: Midoriya vs Shigaraki 1. FP got stabbed, Midoriya immediately saw red and ran straight into the villain's hand without thinking about the consequences. He almost rage quit y'all. He raged so hard he bit the goddamn tendril like a freaking dog. He disassociated so hard he got tunnel vision and his eyes actually lit ablaze. Bruh.

Scenario There'stoomuchtokeepcount: Midoriya vs Shigaraki 2. Aka Deku AFK-ing in the middle of a freaking war and being like I'm out, y'all on your own now, after seeing FP's dead body. Tightness in his chest, unable to breathe, vision narrowed, in fact, completely blocked because of Smokescreen. A burning sensation in his chest as if his heart wanted to escape = Three of Swords. A cathartic release of emotion as his quirks released and gotten out of control. His biggest rage split moment right there.

But, rage isn't the only type of splitting that can occur. Another type is Isolation split.

Isolation splits usually stem from a deep-seated fear of abandonment. You may find yourself feeling unwelcome and unwanted, even in familiar environments such as school. You might have an urge to push people away, and often cut yourself off from others. For some, this means aggressively cutting people out of their lives for no apparent reason, for others, it might be a more subtle withdrawal from social groups and conversations. All the while hoping that someone will notice and ask them how they are doing. It might also include suppressing anger into anxiety, guilt, or self-hatred, identity dysmorphia, self-sabotaging relationships to be in control, stress-related paranoia, loss of contact with reality, and on-going feelings of emptiness.

Reminds me of a certain Vigilante Arc.

Isolation splits usually stem from fear of abandonment. In Izuku's case, why did he leave UA? Well, on the surface level, it was to protect his classmates from harm. But on a deeper level..

During his Vigilante Arc, he felt like he had to carry the burden of OFA all by himself. He felt like this responsibility that he carried made him a burden for others, including Katsuki, his friends, his family, and All Might. He feared that they would also realize this and feel like he's a burden, so he pushed them away, cut himself off, and left before they could leave him behind. Of course, this is not the truth, but this is what he believed. His feelings of anxiety towards the possibility of losing them in the war, his guilt of being a burden, his self-sabotaging is what made him believe that he is unwanted, unwelcome. During splits, the person views everything as either black or white, no in-between. Either all good, or all bad. He wanted to feel in control by leaving them behind for "their sake", almost maniacally insistent on being alone, like in the scene where All Might wanted to check on him and give him some food, but Deku ultimately ended up pushing him away and leaving him on the ground too.

During these episodes, people with BPD cannot logically think the situation through, they don't understand that their intense paranoia and belief that everyone hates them is just the reflection of their own feelings. During this episode, this Vigilante Arc(the episode didn't last for the entire arc, but there were probably higher and lower moments instead) he lost contact with reality and lived in a state of constant paranoia and a feeling of emptiness. He believed it was for the "better", but deep inside, that child inside of him just wanted someone to save him, to pull him back and not let go. Deep down he was just a child who just wanted some reassurance and to be validated. Like in his letter to Katsuki. Although we didn't see the whole letter, there were snippets of "Help me", and "thanks for everything" in it, reflecting Izuku's own feelings of "Please love me" and how even though he said he wanted to be alone, deep down he just wanted Katsuki to save him, to be there by his side.

Lastly, another symptom of BPD that can occur, albeit rarely, is the idolization, devaluation and ghosting of certain people, specifically the Favorite Person. This might just, technically, explain the ending of the manga and Chapter 431. Midoriya subconsciously idolized Katsuki his whole life seeing him as perfect. But as we all know, nobody is perfect. Midoriya had always viewed Kacchan as his image of victory, as someone who cannot lose. Yet, he has. The very person who he believed could never ever lose died on the battlefield. The person who believed was the strongest broke down crying in front of him saying he wants to be on his heels for the rest of his life. And what was Izuku's reaction?

Stop crying, this isn't like you.

Midoriya progressively went through the devaluation of Bakugo Katsuki's character, of his Favorite Person. Now, this is just a theory, because devaluation doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. It just means that he had stopped blindly idolizing Katsuki and realized that he is just a human too.

But in some cases of BPD, devaluation also comes with losing interest. Of finding a new favorite person who they see as their new "idol". Or to put it simply, Uraraka. Now, I don't want to go into more details because I am still very much hurt from Chapter 431, but we have seen an obvious ignorance, almost ghosting from Izuku's side towards Katsuki, something that is completely the opposite of how he would have acted before the war. Instead, he is looking at Ochaco as if she was his hero, and he sees her as a person that he wants to get to know more, to get closer to. Leaving Bakugo behind.

I spy an untreated BPD right there. But how could this disorder have developed in Midoriya? Well, it can be due to either genetics, or a series of traumatic events during childhood, for example emotional abuse, neglect, and going through feelings like being afraid, upset, unsupported or unvalidated.

Well emotional abuse came from the bullying. Neglect came from his father leaving. Being afraid was also because of the bullying and Bakugo. He felt unsupported by his own mother when it came to his dream of becoming a hero after being diagnosed quirkless. And he felt unvalidated his whole life simply because he didn't have a quirk. So yeah. I'm pretty sure these were all reasons that he has developed BPD, although not a severe case. If he actually turned into a villain and never got into UA, I imagine these symptoms could have worsened, making him extremely irritable, prone to snapping and having emotional outbursts and having an even more toxic codependency in his relationships.

I'm not saying that BPD is anything bad, I also have a friend who has BPD and it doesn't make you a bad person, people with BPD just simply experience emotions more intensely than others.

So yeah, I hope you guys enjoyed this analysis, and of course, let me know what you guys think!

[zoeykallus]

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Abandonment Issues

As requested by @golden-nyx-ghost I hope I'm not too far off the mark 😅

Warnings: Mentioned Anxiety/Implied Traumatic Experience/Hurt/Comfort/Also; Crosshair (I mean strong language)

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

I had to do a little research on that topic and thought I'd share what I found.

Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

Most common “symptoms”

worry that friends or partners will leave them

constantly look for signs that others do not really like them

need frequent reassurance that others love them

always try to please others, even at their own expense

give too much in relationships, or have a lack of boundaries

stay in unhealthy relationships due to a fear of being alone

What it can do to a person:

Have anxiety: Both children and adults with fear of abandonment may feel chronically anxious, especially if they feel a relationship is about to end.

Experience relationship challenges: Anxiety about abandonment can alter a person’s perceptions of their relationship, causing them to see problems where none exist. They may be sensitive to any sign of rejection, or find it difficult to trust that their partner will not leave. This can result in clingy behavior, which may impact the relationship.

Communicate poorly: People with abandonment issues may develop harmful communication techniques to ease their anxiety. For example, they may engage in attention-seeking behavior to get the love they feel they might lose.

Engage in harmful behavior: People with a fear of abandonment can sometimes try to prevent their partner from leaving them through manipulative or even abusive behavior. For example, a person may try to prevent someone from socializing with others. This is a form of coercive control.

Source

_____________

AC: Of course, there are different forms of this problem, and it doesn't have to go to the extreme right away. At this point, we assume that no chronic, negative (harmful) behaviors have manifested yet.

_____________

Hunter

He is often quiet, introverted, but unlike you might think, he listens very carefully, is alert, attentive. He does not miss when your mood changes, and you are suddenly unsettled. Hunter reads your body language, notices every little thing. But he doesn't want to barge in, so he first tries to find out what makes you tick, to learn something about your past.

Gradually, he realizes what's bothering you, why you're sometimes so tense and overprotective when you communicate with him, why you sometimes barely let him out of your sight.

"You're afraid," he says unexpectedly.

You look at him, startled; you weren't really aware of it yourself. But now that he brings it up, you feel it abundantly clear.

"You won't lose me, you won't lose any of us. You won't get rid of us that easily."

You blink and say softly, "I've heard that before."

Hunter sighs softly, but smiles at you.

"You will see and learn with time that your past can't determine your future, it can only if you let it. You can count on us"

He grabs your shoulder and looks deep into your eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

You can't help but nod, Hunter's eyes, his expression, you feel so close to him.

"Good, have a little patience, that feeling of security you crave, it will come with time".

Echo

With him, you can talk openly about everything, he is a good listener, and he will always try to find a solution to the problems discussed between you. Echo can well understand what this fear of being abandoned or losing people is and how it feels. As a soldier, one inevitably deals with it a lot. Echo lost a great many of his brothers, not only to war, but also to Order 66.

"Some things we can't hold on to, no matter how hard we cling to them. That's a realization that's hard, but it comes eventually. You have to come to terms with it, make friends with it."

You wrap your arms around your body as if you need to hold on to yourself.

Echo sits down next to you and continues, "None of us want to leave you, but sometimes that's not in our power to decide. Voluntarily, we will never turn our backs on you. But you have to come to terms in a healthy way with the fact that some things are beyond our control."

You sigh softly and say, "I know, I just care that you don't seek distance from me because of me."

Echo laughs softly and says, "You're not getting rid of us that easily."

Wrecker

This cheerful guy is also a good listener and a good distraction. Wrecker can always carry you away and get you out of your darkest worries and thoughts. But he can also listen to you seriously and calmly when you need it.

He is attentive and much more empathetic than some might think.

Wrecker listens and nods in understanding.

"I know it's not the same, but I also sometimes fear losing my brothers. Well, as a soldier, you just worry about the things that might happen in the field. But you can't let that make you crazy."

You smile wryly at him.

"We certainly won't let you down on purpose," Wrecker says with conviction.

"Are you sure?"

"You're not losing us, we're here for you, every one of us," he says with a smile, thrusting a box of Mantel-mix into your hand.

You look up at him and say, "I've thought that about other people too."

Wrecker says perkily, "But we're not other people, we're Clone Force 99, and we deliver what we promise."

Tech

"Change is a fundamental part of life. People come and go, sometimes even those who are particularly close to us. That is quite normal. To be afraid of it is pointless."

You frown and say critically, "Aren't you afraid of suddenly being alone at some point?"

Tech goes into himself for a moment, thinks, then answers, "Not really. It's relatively unlikely that I'll suddenly find myself all alone at some point."

"Couldn't that theoretically happen to anyone?" you ask.

He frowns and says, "Well, theoretically it can, but there's also a probability factor."

You raise your eyebrows.

"Are you trying to tell yourself that right now because you're actually afraid of it too?"

Tech looks at you indignantly.

"I'm not afraid. There's no reason to be, and there's no reason for you to be. Why would we abandon you?"

You shrug, scenarios coming to mind.

"It's enough when priorities change, meeting new people in someone's life, that's often enough to split groups," you say seriously.

Tech hesitates.

"Well… yes, that may be true…"

"But?"

He sighs and says, "If you let that anxiety consume you, you can't enjoy the time you have with the people around you at all. This constant anxious tension is unhealthy"

"That may be," you admit quietly.

Tech hands you back your holopad he fixed for you.

"Here. Good as new," he says with a small smile.

"Thanks Tech, and thanks for listening".

"Anytime."

Crosshair

He has already recognized your behavior and that you cling does not agree with him at all. He can't handle it very well. Crosshair at least tries, in his own way.

"What do you want me to say? People leave us sometimes, and sometimes they leave us behind".

He himself has already had this painful experience, and actually he knows exactly how it feels.

"Hurts like a bitch, but it will pass. You can't let that define your life"

"That's easy for you to say," you sigh, dropping into your bunk.

Crosshair sighs deeply before sitting down on the bunk across from yours that actually belongs to Hunter and looks at you.

"No, I'm not just saying that. I've been through this experience too, I know it sucks, and I know you can get through it if you don't let it consume you."

You sit up and look at him questioningly.

"And how did you do that? How did you deal with it?"

Crosshair sighs again, shakes his head, and says grumpily, "You might not want to take an example from that"

"Why not?"

"My approach was unhealthy, too," he says reluctantly.

As you look at him questioningly, he continues, "Echo would probably say I'm stubborn as shit, but that wasn't it, not quite."

"Then what was it?" you ask cautiously, sensing that you're on sensitive ground here.

Crosshair looks around as if to make sure the two of you are alone. Finally, he looks at you again.

"I didn't cling to other people, but to being a soldier, to my supposed duty. The reason why my brothers and I actually parted ways to begin with. I plunged deeper into it, so deep that soon I was no longer myself. The whole process was painful, for me and others, you should not take an example from that".

You don't say the question that is on the tip of your tongue, but he answers it anyway, as if he felt it.

"Enjoy what you have, hold on to the positive things, not the negative. Deal with it, but deal with it sensibly. You can't force anything, neither that people stay with you nor that old wounds heal. Everything needs time and some work. But you can be sure, we would never abandon you willingly, none of us".

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@starwarsnerd111

[justshapesandshitposting]

New Tweaked Designs for the Bosses, as well as some up-to-date headcanons for them! it's a bit long so it's going to be under a readmore-

Fresh

His voice is actually high pitched (like the vocals in the actual song) he doesn’t see any issue with it, but if someone starts giving him shit about it he will get annoyed and start getting hostile

Borderline blind, has to actively focus in order to see things clearly, so he mostly relies on his energysense to get around for the most part. 

He actually likes kids, despite his grumpy demeanor, and he’s pretty good with them too, one of the best folks to leave your kids with if you don’t mind the trek to get to his den in the caves

Actually leans more on the feminine side for other centipede shapes, since he's larger than most (this tends to be a trend with arthropod shapes, larger individuals leaning more towards the female side of the shape gender spectrum) 

Semi-transparent midsection with less plating than normal for centipedes, allowing you to see some of his bones (you can’t see his spine, or any of his organs, since they’re deeper in, though sometimes if his stomach or crop is really full, or if there’s something glowing brightly enough in there you might be able to somewhat see it through his skin, it’s more reliably seen with his crop though-)

Territorial towards places and people that he likes, you can tell if he likes you even if he doesn't tell you since he'd start getting lowkey territorial in regards to you

as close to cold-blooded as a shape can get, but it's offset by his general chunkiness and the fact that he dresses warmly

Collar is a comfort item that he almost always wears (also the spikes on them are made with carved treeangle wood, normally they absorb the excess beat-energy he produces, the corruption however overwhelmed them)

if he gets too cold he can go into torpor, sometimes quite suddenly (longest time he's been in torpor has been a month)

has a instinctual behavior pattern of eating more and starting to bulk up during colder months/seasons, even if he doesn't go into torpor during the season. (sometimes he can get pretty mindless with it. Try to avoid being around him if you happen to be small and roughly food-shaped.)

Surprisingly soft, good to cuddle with (as long as you ignore the scattered small plates along his back) don’t expect him to start cuddling unless he likes you though, he’s more likely to straight up eat or maul you, especially if it’s sudden and you startle him.  

Likes to dig and burrow, if you can’t find him, just start looking for the big holes in the damp dirt.

He eats rocks and dirt sometimes, no real reason for it, he just wants to-

Rarely washes his clothes, washes his modified boots even less. 

He normally keeps his mandibles tucked into his mouth, but if he wants to paralyze someone with his venom or just eating they tend to pop out. (if you get on his nerves enough he can and will bite with intent to paralyze and leave you there) 

If he’s feeling strongly about something he starts growing spikes and more plates along his body. 

Those ‘spikes’ along his tail are actually tiny centipede legs, they don’t really get used except as a pouchlet or in his shape form, but they’re there.

He actually knows how to make clothes, kinda had to in order to modify his own to fit his needs better. (most of his clothes are made of denim to last longer)

Lycan

Thrives off of chaos and like the goose from untitled goose game, they will cause problems*… on purpose (*minor problems, more mischievous rather than actual problems)

Grows ‘petals’ (they feel closer to feathers) during spring and winter, after that they tend to shed, leaving them with only their short fur

They are a carrier of the shape version of the vitiligo gene, which while meaning that they aren’t actively vitiligo, if certain conditions are met, the gene can get triggered and cause their colors to start to change, a condition/coloration that’s often referred to as ‘False Vitiligo’ (true vitiligo turns the shape white, gray, or black) in their case, their corruption triggered the gene, and after getting purified their fur and petals gradually started turning magenta. 

They’re one of the few shapes that Bitis actually tolerates/likes, since they know when to shut up and calm down when needed. Plus they’re warm, and willing to act as a living heater for them.

Very loyal to their ‘pack’ which is mainly Fresh, Bitis and themself, though they have a few others that they consider as ‘pack’

Has a tendency of burying things, and also likes to dig, just to make holes

High energy, social, and a ball of furry chaos in general, prone to affectionate biting and scratching as well, not enough to break the skin, but still-

They do like being pet, and will invade people’s personal space, but tends to be leery and wary of people they don’t know petting them

Their sense of smell and hearing is really good, and can often be driven crazy by things like dog whistles and can hear and smell things that some others can’t

They can in fact howl, and sometimes they have the instinct to howl back when they hear it, it’s a impulse thing and they can resist it sometimes, but if they get caught off guard they will howl if they hear another howl

Will affectionately bully the folks that they like, but will cut it out if they upset them or if they’re not in the mood.

Bitis

Their corruption essentially swapped their purple/magenta colors when it came to their markings

An ‘ew people’ type of introvert who only tolerates a few shapes, everyone else can fuck off in their opinion

They’re a sea snake, so they do spend a good deal of time swimming and hunting fish to eat. 

VERY venomous, and fatally so if too much gets put in, which is why they tend to keep their mouth sealed unless they’re actively using it. 

Their venom is paralytic, and they mostly use it to hunt

However the instinct to bite something that startles them is still there, which tend to mean that if you startle them you are going to get headbutted, which is going to hurt both of you-

As close to cold-blooded as a shape can get, however, they can’t go into torpor to hibernate through the colder moths like fresh can, so they just stick to the volcano and bundle up in their ‘sweater’ for the most part. They don’t tend to leave the volcano at all during the colder months. 

Shorter lengthwise than most serpent/snake shapes, but they’re built more powerfully and thicker as a compromise. Makes them actually pretty fast in the water, if somewhat less agile and harder to fit into crevices. 

While it is possible to create a anti-venom for their venom, that involves having to interact with other shapes, and Bitis would rather not have to subject themself to being forced to interact with other shapes if they can avoid it. 

Scales are smooth, to the point that it’s hard to find where one ends and another begins. 

Keeps their hair braided, keeps it out of the way and in one place, since it constantly looks wet/greasy and is slightly heavier than the average. (the braid is what’s causing it to puff up into that hood shape around their head, nobody knows why and Bitis doesn’t care to figure it out) 

Aro/Ace and gets annoyed/disgusted if people start talking about things like relationships or sex in front of them. You will get forced out one way or another. 

Their serpent attacks are structures, and they do in fact have a few pet snakes as well, that are well taken care of. 

Prone to stress-shedding random scales, which can be good when pressed underwater by something dangerous, distract the thing with sudden swarm of shiny scales, but it leaves that area without scales until they shed. 

They can and WILL pop out their fangs and start threatening if someone starts getting on their nerves enough, and if they don‘t get the message they’ll do a ‘dry bite’ that normally gets other shapes to fuck off- 

There’s no proof but there was slight increase in drownings when they first arrived, though honestly, Bitis straight up told people that they’re venomous, that it’s paralytic and that they want to get left the fuck alone unless they like you when they first arrived, so if you go swimming/flee into the water after getting bitten by them it’s kinda on you? (def still manslaughter/shapeslaughter though)

Widow

Prefers to live off of the land in the caves, there’s plenty enough big bugs and other animals that they can feed off of, so she really only tends to go into town for supplies she can’t find or make in the wilderness

Makes her own silk cloth with her own thread/silk and makes clothing and other cloth things like bags. 

Gets along pretty well with Fresh, and will ask him to babysit occationally while she does something. 

Def a milf, and can be quite flirty, though understands if people are a bit anxious about her, it’s only natural. (Arthropod shapes do have a tendacy to have… slightly cannibalistic urges, especially ones that are female/more on the female side of the spectrum, and DEFINATELY while gravid, even if the eggs aren’t fertile/fertilized)

Pretty chill and laid back. she knows that she’s one of the largest shapes on paradise and that most things can’t threaten her, so she’s pretty laid back

Do NOT threaten her kids though, she can go from 0 to 100 on a pin drop if her kids are involved. 

Speaking of her kids, she has a decent amount of them, not a large amount (at least for arthropod shapes) but a decent amount, roughly around 8 of them currently, and a good few others which are fully grown now.

Currently single, and yeah she’s open, though generally isn’t fond of marriage, she’s not against the concept, but she likes having multiple partners that she can dote on

She’s very doting and affectionate with her partners and her kids, can and will pick people up and carry them around. 

Her voice is chirpy and relatively high pitched, and sounds like it belongs to something far smaller than her. 

Will affectionately nibble on folks that they like as long as they’re comfortable with it (no mandibles though since that’s where the venom’s kept)

Her venom is a flesh-melter (she does have anti-venom on her so if she accidentally envenoms someone it’s dealt with quickly) which helps her feed her kids (most pouchlets can only eat fluids or soft foods at first, and spider shapes can have some difficulties eating solid food sometimes)

Morbid

Yeah, they’re a bit bonkers because of their isolation in the tree/level void:™: and are desperate for company, food, and touch- (they need a good amount of therapy) 

However their unstable mental state and their starvation often results in… well… bad outcomes for most who come into contact with them in the level void- 

Fossilized is really the best way i can describe what’s happening to their beat-energy- since their beat-energy is still the same but it’s gradually getting well… replaced or petrified by the ambient energy of the tree void- 

if they were to die in the tree void:™: their energy would still stick around it would just… decay or regress into something that’s more similar to the levels (yes that’s my headcanon about the tutorial levels, the tree’s gotta eat too-) until eventually fading away into the background

However, since they’re a spirit and elemental hybrid, they can feed off of things that other shapes can’t, specifically since they’re a fire elemental, they can feed off of anything that’s flammable, things like clothes for example (which is why they don’t have any clothes) and spirit shapes can essentially parasitize off of other sources of energy, and in their case, they’re feeding off of the energy in the level void itself. It’s not the best, and they are still very much starving, but it’s enough to keep them alive. 

Due to their isolation and general insanity, they don’t really remember anything about themselves from before their entrapment there, they can only get glimpses or blurred sensations occasionally, though once they’re freed they do start to remember a bit more

Their mind is actively suppressing their memories to avoid trauma (they were very attached to the rest of their group, which well… aren’t alive anymore- save for antimony’s ‘familiar’ which is prolly the only thing keeping them sane… or as sane as they can be after their release, and tree help you if you are a threat to their only remaining link to their friends their companion)

Pyromaniac (they had this condition before, but being trapped there made it worse and caused them to start trying to set everything on fire just so there’s something else apart from the darkness there) it gets somewhat better after their release but they still have urges to set everything on fire- 

VERY touch starved, but wear something flame-resistant or fire-proof because they WILL become VERY hot temperature-wise VERY quickly

Oh yeah since they’re a fire elemental they can control their body temperature, but it normally runs hot enough to burn people without protection (at least internally) and it tends to be a bit wonky due to their mental state as well, sudden highs and lows along with their mood and current state of mind. If they focus they can control it somewhat, but they have to re-learn how to do it, since it’s so unpredictable now. 

They can phase through objects and walls since they’re a spirit hybrid, but anything that they have on them that isn’t made with their own beat-energy will get stuck on surfaces unless they actively surround it with their own energy and sorta ‘falsify’ it being part of them

This does mean that they can sometimes get stuck in walls after eating or drinking something. 

They are VERY clingy and a bit obsessive towards those who they enjoy the presence of-