#It's 1pm I've been here for hours

[mrfoox]

I'm fighting demons (snoozing in bed)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Hmmm maybe I have issues in my life

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:

Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.

In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.

But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.

Until, that is, the last fortnight.

Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.

Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.

Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.

"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"

I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.

Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.

"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."

"Nothing at all?" I asked.

"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."

This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.

"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."

Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."

(It was good potato. I am a hero.)

So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.

"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.

"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"

"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."

And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.

And Tumblrs

Tumblrs

Let me FUCKING tell you

They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -

They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.

You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"

I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.

"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."

They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.

But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?

Anyway. Super super proud today.

[urprettylittlething]

In The Shadows

Purge Alternate Universe

Yandere - Gojo Satoru x Reader x Geto Suguru

A/N - Okayyyy I've been working on this for like a week and it's the longest I've ever written for one thing, I had a shoulder injury which is mostly healed up now during the week which hindered my progress a little because I originally really wanted this to get out nearer Halloween time, but oh well TT at least its here now right? Lmao, but I hope you guys enjoy it, I tried my best and lowkey kind of hate it, I wished I could've done more or something, but if you have any ideas around this for a possible part 2 let me knoww, although no promises ;) Consider this a massive thank you story, I now have over 100 followers and the likes and reblogs and comments, you guys, I'm crying, I love you all so much <333333 I love interacting with you guys and your comments on my stories or in my inbox <3333 you all make my day ilysm <3 :( AND IM SORRY I COULDNT HELP IT, they're kind of really mean so its more harsh yandere than the soft you all wanted :( I couldn't help myself its a purge AU TT, but I promise ill make something softer in the future <33 sorry this is so long omfg, but let me know your thoughts pretty please &lt;3 and if you actually read all of this ily

summary - Another purge night is here and you think your safe and sound, but let your guard down and you'll find yourself bound.

warnings - purge, mentions of 'off screen' murder, actual 'off screen' murder, kind of gore but reader doesn't see it, blood, rope, reader gets tied up, gags?, tape over readers mouth, they're actually kind of really mean lol, especially Geto, descriptions of panic, anxiety, overthinking, stalker situation kind of, swearing, crying, brief hair pulling, if there's any more let me know ml <3

genre - Oneshot

wc - 7.2k

~spelling and grammar fixed already~

Edit - the top photo 6/11/23

The tip tapping of fingers on keys echoed around the silent room. The occasional footfalls of people around her walking up and down. Picking up books to further aid their studying would slip past the music playing in her ears when they were loud enough.

Every time she would hear someone being a little too loud for the library they were in she would glance up and shoot a half-hearted glare their way.

They’d never see her but it was the thought that counted. A barely audible sigh escapes her as she brings a hand up to massage her cold fingertips into the throbbing skin at her temple. 

Nervous nibbling was occupying her teeth and lips, chewing away the flesh and creating tender spots her tongue would soon soothe. 

She’d been staring at the same empty document for two hours now. No more than two sentences she was able to come up with before she’d erase them in a fit of frustration.

Abandoned textbooks lay closed behind her laptop, she’d deemed them no use around thirty minutes in, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and search for better ones. 

She was antsy, not able to focus on her assignment due in a week's time. Her brain was all fogged up, too many thoughts going through her mind and yet she's not able to focus on a single one.

The purge was tonight. March 21st. And it was currently 1pm. 

Why did she even bother to come to the library in the first place? Was she hoping to distract herself even just a little bit before she had to hunker herself down in her dorm for twelve hours? 

Maybe. Yes.

Was it working? Absolutely not.

She was too skittish. Overthinking everything that had the potential of happening later and things that have previously happened. 

‘Someone's not going to come and try to kill me just because I forgot to return their pen that one time, right?’ 

The amusing, albeit a little dark, thought did make the corner of her lips twitch just the smallest amount. 

Taking off her headphones after stopping her music, she closes down her laptop and starts to move it into her bag. 

She spares a quick glance around the few tables next to hers as she stands with the library's books in her arms. Her eyes locked with a man sitting roughly two tables down. Slumped back in his seat.

Gojo Satoru. Bright white and fluffy hair paired with a set of dazzling blue eyes. The ones currently peeking over the tops of his round shades that had slid down his nose as he tucked his head down slightly. 

Sitting in front of him and abstracting her view of Gojo only slightly is who she assumed was Geto Suguru. Two peas in a pod and never seen without the other. The long black and silky strands of hair tied up in a half up bun was a giveaway to who he was as well.

Both of them were originally from Tokyo, Japan. Coming over to America over five years ago. Or at least that's what she’s heard from around the place, not knowing them personally. They were the most popular boys in school when she had joined a little over a year ago and they still held the title strong.

She doesn’t think she's ever really interacted with them. At Least not on any kind of personal level. Sure, maybe from a few friends of friends or passing each other in the hallway and being polite to her upperclassmen, but nothing all that memorable. 

Which is why this prolonged eye contact is sending a very noticeable shiver down her spine. The smallest twitch of a smirk on his face and she was breaking eye contact, gulping down the pooled saliva in her mouth as she turned around and hastily made her way in between the towering bookshelves.

Leaving the library after stacking the books she’d previously taken back on the shelves, she hastily makes her way down the long corridors. Keeping her head down, her hands clutched tight on the strap of her bag. She passes very few people in the hallway.

Even after pushing through the doors and trekking her way to the dorms at the end of the path, there were very few people loitering around outside. Some of the people she passed looked like they could be stoned, not that she could really blame them. Some looked a little too relaxed and happy and some were just trying to get to their destination as quickly as possible. Like her.

As the doors came into view, and then the stairs, she slowly began to relax, her fast pace lessening up. Successfully getting to the safest place she could for when the purge would start. 

It was also a massive relief that her two good friends would be staying with her during the twelve hours of horror. Last time she was by herself there had been multiple scares throughout the night. Nothing too big but something she didn’t think she could handle alone again. 

Reaching her door on the third floor she fiddles with her keys for a few seconds before her door clicks open and she pushes her way inside. Closing the door and locking it again for good measure. 

It was 1:43 pm.

A few minutes after she had arrived back at her dorm did she realize she still needed to pick up some food items. Being a broke student meant she had essentially nothing in her cupboards or her fridge. And if she was ‘hosting for the purge’ this year, it meant she had to stock up at least a little bit. 

‘Imagine trying to hide from a killer and your stomach growls, I think I would just die on the spot.’ She thinks, the smallest smile gracing her face. Humour is usually her way to cope in situations like these. It’s either that or panicking and she’d rather try to save that for the main event.

With a heavy sigh and hesitation weighing her limbs down, she slowly puts her shoes and jacket back on. She can make this quick. In and out. Easy peasy. 

With a quick jump while shaking her limbs out to get rid of her last minute hesitation, she quickly opens her door and steps out before shutting it behind her. No going back now. Locking the door behind her, she starts making her way back down the stairs and out the doors, walking in the direction of the food store. 

Her nerves were still playing up though, eyes darting this way and that as if trying to find a reason for her to panic. ‘It’s okay, the purge hasn’t started yet, all those things are still illegal.’ Is what she keeps telling herself while taking a deep breath. But the fact they won’t be in a few hours was still cause for some panic. 

Arriving at the store, she wizzes around, collecting any good looking snack and throwing it in her basket before hastily paying and leaving. The heavy plastic carrier bag hanging from her fingers gave her reason to think she went a bit overboard. 

Her quickened steps and accelerated breathing were all she could hear for a while. Her walk back to her dorm was supposed to be a quiet one, less and less people were loitering around meaning less and less noises to distract her. 

Especially from the new set of footsteps that have appeared behind her.

As soon as her mind clocked the extra set of footsteps there, it went into overdrive. ‘Who is that? Are they following me? No, you're being delusional, they're just trying to get back home. But are they? They just appeared out of nowhere. Are they going to try and kidnap me? Rape me? Stuff me in a van? Drag me down a dark alleyway and murder me?’

Her mind was racing, steps quickening and breathing silenced under the new threat. ‘Oh god, what if they’re stalking me? Waiting until the purge starts to come and slaughter me? They’re going to kill me. They’re going to kill me. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?’

And then they were gone. 

It barely registered in her mind that the fast paced footsteps from behind her had vanished. A sharp breath escaped her before her head whipped around on a desperate whim. No one. Not a soul on the path behind her. 

Her shoulders sank with relief and a watery laugh broke free from her trembling lips. ‘I’m losing my mind.’ She thought. Even though that feeling in her gut had faded, it never fully disappeared. Her racing heart never slowed and neither did her footsteps. 

Y/n hurried back to her dorm, almost running through the doors and up the stairs to fumble with her keys and quickly burst in. Double checking she locked the door behind her, and then checking every other lock on her third story apartment. Only when she had made sure they were all secure could she finally relax. 

Her body shivering and hands shaking from the after effects of adrenaline. Her breathing is still a little shaky as she pulls a bunch of pillows and blankets into her tiny living room. Pushing her chair and sofa away to make more space as she lays everything out as neat as she could, making the floor a comfy space for her and her two friends to crash for the purge. 

She empties the snacks from out of the plastic bag and piles them in a nice little corner near the TV. A small stack of movies there for when they’re all waiting for the purge to start. Some cards in a pack were also placed there. 

The three of them are wanting to be as quiet as possible while the purge is going on. Everything locked, curtains drawn, lights off, TV with no volume and only subtitles, quiet games to play in case they got bored, etc. 

They weren’t taking any chances. It was doubtful anything would happen, since nothing really ever did in the dorms. No student here would go as far as murdering somebody, everyone mostly stayed inside, not wanting to risk anything. She only knew of a few people that have snuck out before to rob a few stores, or do some petty revenge like smashing someone's car without getting into trouble.

But overall, it was best to remain quiet. They didn’t want to get murdered because the TV was turned up too loudly and attracted some wrong attention. 

It was 5:15 pm.

This is the time her friends arrived. Knocking some made up code on the slab of wood before messaging just for good measure that it was really them outside. 

After unlocking the door and letting her two good friends inside her dorm she swiftly closes and locks it again. Relieved greetings transpire as well as nervous whispers about the purge and some small gossip of who they think would actually go out this year and who are likely to stay inside. 

The three of them start to make their way around her dorm, closing all the curtains and double checking the locks on all the windows and doors. Especially the balcony and front door. 

After they’ve secured the apartment, they turn off all the necessary lights, flicking on a few electrical lanterns and setting them up around the living room, but away from the windows. They’ve left one lantern in the bathroom and one in her bedroom, both turned off, just in case of emergencies.  

The three of them settle in a spread out pile on the blankets she put down in the living room. Some snacks are passed around already and a movie is slotted into the TV, playing as background noise mostly while they talk.

Erica, a sassy but kind of dumb girl, with choppy shoulder length hair that had been bleached and dyed a light green. She's donned in a crop top and sweatpants, comfy.

Don, a friendly giant, very kind in nature but also a little muscly. He has short black hair and a sculpted jawline. He also came in sweatpants and a baggy white T-shirt, also comfy.

Her two very good, and only, friends here. They’re in a few of her classes and all regularly hang out together. 

“So,” Erica begins after her mouthful of powdered donut. “Who do you think is going to actually purge tonight? Like, actually actually. My moneys on them two hotties in my class.” She finishes, wiggling her eyebrows..

Don hums around his half empty soda can. “Yeah, honestly I wouldn't be surprised if they did.”

Y/n pipes up, “Wait who?” sitting up against the sofa behind her, getting comfy like she's about to hear the gossip of a lifetime.

“Oh, Em, G! You haven’t heard of it? You’ve seriously been, like, living under a rock or something.” Erica says jokingly. Picking apart pieces of her donut and eating them. 

Don perks up too. “Really? You haven't?” Y/n shakes her head in denial as Don shrugs. “I get it, it’s mostly stayed in our class, hasn’t spread much further than that.” He says before crawling forward and rummaging around for more snacks.

“So get a load of this right!” Erica sits up too after finishing her donut. Waving her hands excitedly as she tells her latest gossip. “You know them two really hot upperclassmen right?” She draws out her ‘really’ and waits patiently at the end of her sentence for the other girl's confirmation. 

When she nods in slight confusion, Erica continues, “There were some major rumours in class that the two of them were late this one day because they were beating someone up. And I don't mean like a few slaps or hair pulling, I mean punches. You know?”

Y/n nods again, this time with furrowed brows and Erica continues, “At first, I didn’t believe it, obviously. But then, the two of them came into class and I swear there were blood stains on their clothes. Blood stains! Not to mention all the plasters and bandages all over their hands! I just had to believe it then! Wouldn’t you?”

After the end of her long rant she slumps back against the front of the sofa and mumbles incoherently to herself shaking her head while pouting.

Don, who had been listening silently, pipes up, “It was true, I was actually there for once.”

Y/n’s eyebrows raise in disbelief at what she had just heard. Fighting, here? She couldn’t help but to doubt it, if only just a little. Stuff like that has never happened here. Or at least while she had been here. It was just unheard of.

And for an attack so vicious to result in blood being drawn, then there must have been somewhat of a good reason for it. That was the conclusion she came to.

“I mean, there had to have been a good reason for it.” Y/n says, “They’re pretty nice people aren't they? It is Gojo and Geto were talking about here, right? They’re really popular here too.” Her eyes darted between her two friends, looking for more answers on this unexpected juicy gossip.

Erica sighs wistfully, “No, it got shut down pretty quick, which I guess is why so little people have heard about it. God, would I pay to see them fight though. Their muscles must have looked amazing.” 

They stop talking about it after that, Don getting distracted by the snacks and whining about how she didn’t get his favourite. Erica smacking him with a few pillows and complaining how he’s getting in the way of her movie she was barely even watching. 

Their playful banter did little to distract from her inner turmoil. A small shiver went down her spine again. The memory from earlier in the library resurfacing in her mind. Gojo staring her down, the creepy walk back from the shops and now learning the two had at the very least helped in injuring someone.

It could just be because it was purge day, but everything was beginning to creep her out and she was overthinking again. ‘What if he wants to attack me next? What if all of those things were connected and someone really was following me home? What if he wants to kill me? What if both of them want to kill me? Have I ever done anything to offend them? I haven’t, have I?’ She knew these were far fetched and ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but think of them anyway.

Her spiralling thoughts were halted when a stray pillow smacked her in the face. “Oops, haha, sorry.” Erica sheepishly apologized, bringing her hand up to smooth down Y/n’s ruffled hair. Don was laughing in the background.  

Y/n was stunned for a few seconds before replying, “Oh, don’t worry. How about we put something else on? This movie is kind of boring.” crawling across the piles of pillows and blankets to reach the stack of movies.

This caught the other two’s attention, eagerly rushing to the stack as well to try and get first pick. Arguing for a few more minutes before settling on a movie they all loved. Snuggling back into their original positions.

This was how the next few hours went before the announcement appeared.

It was 6:59 pm.

At exactly 7 on the dot, the TV went black before turning blue, the government announcing the commencement of the purge. Big bold letters and ‘Emergency Broadcast System’ and ‘This is not a test’ were displayed on the screen.

They were all quiet as it played out. The mood quickly turned sombre.

“Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.”

Don gulped.

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.”

Erica huffed.

“Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.” 

Y/n shivered.

“Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 am when The Purge concludes.”

She released a shaky breath. The announcement ends with “...A nation reborn.” before stopping. The screen turned black again.

No one moves or says anything. Each of them were frozen in an array of emotions. Fear being the most prominent. 

The silence stretched on for minutes. Eerie in its wake, not even being able to hear other people in their dorm rooms like she normally would.

Eventually, after releasing another shaky breath and rearranging herself with trembling limbs, they all snap back into the present. 

Don coughs and Erica shuffles awkwardly. 

“Cards, anyone?” Y/n meekly speaks up. The other two nod as they sit in a small circle. 

It was 7:36 pm.

This was when the first explosion of some kind was heard by them. Each of them froze in the middle of playing their mostly silent game of cards. The noise was distant, but the impact remained.

A scream from a few doors down echoed in the silent space.

They waited with baited breath for any follow up, but when nothing happened, they slowly relaxed. Each of them assumed it was the explosion that must have scared someone. Sometimes it’s better to think of the positive, rather than what that scream could have been for.

A few minutes later a siren bellows in the distance, a few car alarms wail.

Nothing too bad, but knowing that it could mean someone was being murdered out there didn’t give them any ease.

It was 8:02 pm. 

This is when the banging starts. Y/n thinks it could be a few doors down again. Erica thinks it’s below them and Don thinks it’s above them. 

Wherever it was, it was concerning. 

Erica releases a small nervous chuckle. “Maybe someone is just having a good time?” A fake smile plastered on her face to try and mask her worry. Even she didn’t believe her little theory. Not during a time like this, during The Purge.

It was a few minutes later, after they had quietly resumed their game, that footsteps were heard.

Clacking down the hallway. 

1, 2.

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

1, 2. 

They were walking at a leisurely pace. Taking their time. Strolling down the hallway and getting closer and closer.

All three of them looked towards the door, as if someone were to burst in at any moment.

The footsteps slow before coming to a stop. Right outside her door.

The three of them hold their breath, bodies flinching when a light knock rings out into the open space.

Complete silence.

Another knock.

None of them had even noticed the earlier noises had stopped, too focused on the potential threat now right outside the door. Seemingly wanting someone to open up.

Three pairs of eyes dart between each other. Silent questions trying to push their way out without being heard. A few panicked half shrugs and furrowed brows with downturned lips later, another knock rings out.

This time it was a little louder.

Barely audible whisperings of ‘you go’, ‘no you’, ‘fuck no’, ‘who even is it?’ cut through the silence. No one wanted to ask the question. To even speak a hint of it lest it result in it coming true.

Eventually after a solid minute of panicked, almost silent, squabbling later. A frustrated and frightened Erica pushed herself up. Taking a very obvious deep breath. Eyes closed and silently mumbling to herself before taking a few steps over to the front door.

She tried to be as quiet as she could but each step sounded like it weighed a ton. Every creek and every wobble made to sound the loudest. 

Very quietly bracing her hands upon the door, she leant up on her tiptoes. Peeking into the peephole positioned in the centre of the door.

The two left in the pile of blankets still. Not wanting to even breathe in fear of disturbing whatever was happening in front of them.

A sudden screech of pure panic and fear tore from Erica’s throat. Flailing before landing with a harsh thud on the floor beneath her. Scrambling backwards on her hands and feet, keeping her eyes on the door the entire time.

The two startle and immediately jump up, laboured breathing hindering their lungs from the sudden scare.

“What the fuck? Erica what happened? What was that?” Don frantically whispered. His eyes were also locked on the door. 

Y/n also whispered to her, “Who was that? Erica?” her eyes locked onto her friend, not able to bring herself to look at the door yet.

“It was.. Oh god.. The peep..” Erica wheezed out. The fright took too much out of her with her frantic gasps for air.

A sudden bang echoed into the room. A few more followed before they all realized it was coming from the front door. 

Erica screeched and threw herself back into a standing position, rushing for the kitchen and grabbing any sharp knife her eyes first laid on.

Don stood frozen in fear. Not able to move or barely breathe from the looks of it.

Y/n wasn’t any better herself. Downright terrified. This was her dorm. Her dorm. Which means whoever was outside, was looking for her.

The banging persisted, the person on the other side seemingly determined to get in. This proved correct when the handle started turning whichever way it could. 

She didn’t even realize, terror clouding her senses because when she looked back to her two friends, Don had collapsed into himself, wheezing with little air entering his lungs amidst his panic. Erica was cornered in the kitchen, sobbing, tears flooding her cheeks and ruining her mascara she had in place.

The persistent banging stopped for a second. The faint sound of another pair of footsteps approached from the hallway outside. Muffled talking pursued but it was hard to make anything out, between her pounding heart, Erica’s sobs and the slab of wood in the way, didn’t make for easy hearing.

For Y/n, it seemed there was one second of complete silence. No sobbing, no voices, no distant alarms or explosions, no racing heart, no wheezing lungs. Before chaos sprung onto them.

Suddenly the people outside, because there was another person now, resumed banging on the door. But it didn’t seem like they were ‘just knocking’ anymore. No.

They were trying to break the door down. 

She could see it from the way the door groaned and creaked under the relentless kicking. She couldn't quite tell if they were using their feet, or an object, or whatever. 

All that mattered was that they were trying to get in. And they were going to succeed.

“Move! Hide! We need to hide!” She whisper-yelled. Rushing to Don and tugging on his arm to try and get him to move. He stared at her for a few seconds before his brain caught up, registering what was happening around him. The real danger he was in right now.

“Hide.. Oh god..” He panted, sprinting for the bathroom, the first place his eyes had landed on.

With Don now searching for a place to hide, she ran her way to Erica. Still trying to be as quiet as she could, in the little hopes that they would think she wasn’t here.

“Erica, we need to hide! They’re getting in!” She frantically whispered to her hyperventilating friend. Trying to shake her shoulders, even resorting to lightly slapping her face to try and get her attention. She was desperate.

“Please!” The sound of splintering caught both of their attention. Heads whipping towards the door starting to cave. She wasn’t all that surprised, that slab of wood was a shitty excuse for a door anyway.

Erica suddenly sprung up and dove for the piles of blankets in the living room. Trying to bury herself amongst them, taking the knife with her.

And now that all her friends had been taken care of, she ran for her bedroom. Trying her best not to stumble and fall in the dark hallway. 

As soon as her door came into sight, she gently opened it, gunning for her wardrobe tucked into the corner of the room. Not even looking towards the turned off lantern, she didn’t need them knowing her hiding spot from something so obvious. 

It was already messy anyway, so in her frazzled brain she didn’t bother caring where she tossed piles of clothes and shoes in her room.. They’d hopefully think it was like that in the first place.

After quickly clearing a space big enough for her to curl into, she did just that. Situating herself just right, back pressed against the side of the wardrobe, knees tucked to her chest and pressed against the boxes in front of her. She was sitting on old shirts she hadn’t seen for months.

Hearing the door breaking even further, she grabbed any clothes within her reach and threw them over herself. Shutting the door when she was mostly covered, she could have sworn she could hear laughter coming from the hallway.

A loud crash and splintering tore through the air. She knew it was her front door. And now they were inside. 

Her hands slowly went up to cup around her mouth, trying to muffle her breathing as much as she could. Her body froze. Even when she already began to feel muscle cramps settling in, she dared not move. She forced herself to breathe slowly. Every inhale a struggle along with a reminder that she was still alive at this very moment. Even if she was convinced she wouldn’t be for much longer. 

The thought brought tears to her eyes. The original shock wears from her body and settles into something akin to despair. 

Her throat started clamping up, muscles seizing and throbbing with the need to cry. 

It was the thudding of footsteps that shook her out of it. Snapping her half way back into a nightmarish reality. 

She gulped. Closing her eyes and straining her ears for any information they were willing to receive.

Just as she thought. Two pairs of footsteps. 

With every thud of a shoe or a spike in their muffled talking, her body would tremble. 

It remained like this for a few more minutes. The footsteps or talking occasionally pausing. 

It was during one of these silences, where a different sound was heard. She couldn’t identify the exact sounds, just ones of commotion. They were still all muffled. And then she heard muffled yelling. 

It sounded so dulled, between the walls and layers of wood and clothes, she could barely make out anything, her ears straining for any hint as to what was happening. Being left in the dark like this, literally and figuratively, was terrifying her. 

And then this horrible, awful noise carried its way between the cracks in the wardrobe. Crunching. Cracking. Stomps. 

That muffled yelling from before kept getting cut off. Eventually dwindling down into a barely audible groan. Those thuds never seemed to stop either. Never ending, crunching, cracking, and now wet thuds. 

Her brain was trying its hardest to process, to catch up with the information that it has been provided with. 

More footsteps, only one pair, accompanied with muffled laughter. And a more distinct sound traveling through the air. 

A scream.

Even more laughter, hurried footsteps and pleas of ‘no’, ‘please’, ‘don’ts’. 

It was now, with the wet stomps still in the background, her screeching friend, that eager laugh, that her brain had finally caught up.

She was going to be sick.

They’re hurting them. Killing them.

Her friends.

Her body moved out of its own violation. Shaky hands and feet kicking and pushing their way out of the pile of clothes. Wardrobe door swinging open with a creak.

She collapsed out of it. Slumped on the floor, dry heaving. Her lungs not seeming to take enough air in but yet holding in too much. She couldn’t function. Fear overwhelmed every part of her. As well as grief. 

Her ears were ringing and she was left gasping, drool dripping onto the hard floor beneath her as a result of her attempted vomiting. Eyes wide open, blurry when she tapped back into her mind. 

Tears, clouding her vision and dripping audibly on the floorboards below her. 

In the distance she could hear muffled talking. Two men, she could make out more clearly. Not only that, but squelching, wet, gooey noises seemed to mingle in the air. Gurgling was the next before silence.

A minute passed, maybe two before the footsteps started up again. Those goddamn footsteps. 

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

1.. 2.

But they were slower than before. Steady. Taking their time. 

And getting closer.

Her instincts kick in, blinking profusely to try and clear her eyes from the tears, looking up and darting around before landing on the space under her bed.

She wouldn’t have enough time to fix her spot back in the wardrobe. She couldn’t run past them, not even in her best state which she certainly wasn’t in right now. She had considered her bedroom window as an option, but it was locked, which would take time to open. Not even mentioning the fact she was on the third floor, so jumping out would break at least something important. They would be quick to notice as well, and if they came for her, it was likely they would decide to chase her down.

Under her bed seemed to be her best option at the moment, and she was running out of time. Scrambling as quietly as she could, she slid herself directly under her bed, trying to center herself in the middle of it, tucking herself into a tight ball.

The footsteps stopped right outside her bedroom door, she had enough sense to shut it on her way in, thank god. But that clearly wouldn’t be enough to stop them. 

Almost as if the person was teasing her, they slowly clicked the door open. The distinct creak she had grown accustomed to over the months making itself known. 

Her muscles are tense, tightening in the presence of her predators. 

In the dark space from under her bed and in her room, it was obvious when the light from inside the hallway started spilling in the more the door got pushed open. In the vague depths of her mind it registered that they must’ve either turned the hall lights on, had taken one of her lanterns,  or were carrying one of their own.

Her lungs were burning with the effort to keep her body running with the little air she was allowing them to have, all for the sake of trying to keep quiet.

It was all too silent once again, only for a second or two before the second pair of footsteps came towards her. A lot more hasty compared to the other ones. 

Her breath silently hitched, the new person pushed their way into the room, stepping past their company before a thunk was heard. The sound forced her body to startle, jolting her muscles and kick starting her trembling again. An uncontrollable reaction to the fear she was under, the unrelenting motions causing a deep ache in her ribs.

The sound of rustling was now heard. It seemed they were looking for something. ‘They’re going to kill me. They’re digging around for a weapon to stab me with, to bash my head in, to murder me like they did my friends. I’m dead. I’m dead, I’mdeadI’mdeadI’mdead-’

Her racing thoughts consuming her fear riddled mind failed in picking up the sound of the other pair of footsteps slowly creeping round to the end of her bed. 

The person paused, silently crouching down low before a pair of hands reached under.

The sudden tight grip on her ankles followed up by the sudden pull had her screeching. Pure terror flooding her veins. She had been yanked out from under her bed, lying sprawled on the floor and gazing up at the towering man stationed above her. 

Her lungs burned, seizing up before a sickening scream escaped her. Fuelled by genuine, unrestrained horror. 

They had found her.

One of her lanterns they had brought in illuminated his face in a haunting light. The darkened shadows stretching and contorting behind him to create the most grim image for her mind to paint. Not that it was far off.

A foot standing on either side of her hips, straddling her if it wasn’t for his standing position. Hands nestled comfortably back in his trouser pockets now they had done the job of retrieving her. A comfortable looking long-sleeved shirt adorned his figure. Dark splatters starting from the bottom of his shoes and creeping their way up his legs, tapering off into a few spots that painted one of his cheeks.

An easy smile softly ingrained on his face, followed by gentle looking eyes peering down at her if it wasn’t for the malicious spiral she found herself paralyzed in. Dark locks of hair extended down his back, past where she could see from her position, with the top layers sectioned off and tied back into a bun.

His mouth opened and he spoke. “Well, well. Look what I’ve caught for us Satoru.”

Satoru. The other man must be Satoru Gojo, and this was Suguru. Suguru Geto. The most popular guys she knew, the supposedly kindest. And then staring in the library, the walk back from the shops, the gossip her most likely dead friend had told her.

Her body suddenly felt like it was pumped full of adrenaline. Pushing herself up as fast as she could, using the bed as support all the while stumbling over her numb riddled legs. She took off, running towards the open door she so desperately wanted to pass through. 

A sudden arm snatched her from around her waist and she screeched. Pure instinct driving her at this point as she scratched and kicked and flailed in his, Satoru Gojo’s, hold.

The sound of something dropping before his other arm came round, collecting both her wrists in one hand of his. His grip tightened the more she fought. Her body pressed tight against his, her back to his front. His head situated itself on her shoulder, tucking over and pressing his cheek to hers even while she cried and panted and kicked.

She could feel his grin pressing against the side of her face. “Such a pretty little thing we have here. Can’t let her get away so easily now, can we? Not after all the trouble we’ve gone through.” The last part practically whispered into her ear as she turned her face as far away as possible from him. 

A little laugh boasted out from Geto. “Of course not.” He strolled over to them, bending down to pick up what Gojo had dropped in order to restrain her.

Rope.

Fucking rope.

The moment her eyes zoned in and processed what Geto was unravelling in his hands she tried to fight back even harder. Eyes flooding with tears that spilled down her cheeks. Short mumblings of ‘no’ being repeated over and over while becoming louder until she was yelling. 

“Please don’t do this! Let me go! Please, please.. Stop!” She shrieked while sobbing, convinced they were going to kill her or torture her or something horrible like that.

Gojo walked the two of them to the edge of her bed before forcefully pushing her down, manhandling her onto her front and bending her arms to rest pressing against her back.  

She sobbed into her ruffled sheets as she felt Geto fastening the rope tight around her wrists, the rough material digging into and pinching the sensitive skin. Raw and red marks already forming amidst her struggle. 

Her legs still hung off the bed, trying their best to kick and hopefully injure one or both of them, but she knew it was a losing battle. None of her landing blows made them falter in any way.

When her wrists were successfully restrained Geto kept them pressed to the small of her back while Gojo let go and reached down to grab her ankles. Pulling them up and bending her legs at the knees while they both worked in finishing the task of tying her up.

When they finally stepped back to admire the work they’d successfully done, Y/n deflated. Tears soaking into her bed in which she rested on top of. Her lungs still burned, having never stopped. The hogtied position she had been forced into leaving her nothing to work with in terms of escaping. Not that she could think clearly anyway. The distress she was under proved too much.

“Oh, Shh Sh Sh… There, there, sweet thing. Settle down for us now. We aren’t going to kill you.” Cooed, who she could only guess right now was Gojo.

Geto reached forward from his position of kneeling on the bed, gentle soothing pets stroking her hair. Her sobbing tapering off into hiccupped breathing even while flinching with every touch. “There you go, good girl. See that wasn’t so hard now, was it?”

He pulled away from her, stepping down off the bed and heading towards the previously discarded bag on the floor Y/n hadn’t noticed before..

Y/n slowly turned her head round, no longer pressed into her sheets. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, swollen from all the crying she’d been doing. Little hiccups and groans left her while her lungs tried to recover. She’d given up struggling right now, it had done nothing but cause her pain as the rope dug and squeezed the skin of her wrists and ankles. 

Gojo piped up from behind her, only now feeling the heat from his legs pressing into hers causing her to flinch. “You know, this would’ve gone a whole lot easier if you had just let us in sweetheart.” She could practically hear the smug smile in his voice. “Look at where you are now, tied up all pretty for us. Ripe for the taking.” He pressed closer to her at that, voice practically dripping with need. 

She whined in fear and started squirming at his words. Panic flooding her senses again for just a second before a sharp tug to her hair had her yelping, halting her movements.

“I thought I told you to quit that.” Geto was back to kneeling on the bed in front of her, his hand gripping tight onto her hair, eyes narrowed. 

Her bottom lip trembled, breaths picking up with every second he glared down at her. 

“Don’t be so mean, Sugu.” Gojo said, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

Geto glanced back at him before humming and letting go of his harsh grip, her scalp burning in turn. “I suppose you’re right. She’ll have plenty of time to learn when we take her back home.”

Gojo hummed and she felt him leaning away from her, hearing him crouch down and fiddle with something from the bag as well. 

“Back home?..” She stuttered, voice hoarse and throat dry.

Geto looked back down at her, amusement painting his face. “Yes. Home.”

“Where..” She started, face formed in a twist of concern and confusion. “Please.. I.. Just let me go. I won’t- I won’t tell anyone, I’ll- I’ll leave you alone, I’ll do anything, please..” She gasped out, tears gathered freshly in her eyes again, voice cracking every few seconds. 

An amused eyebrow raised with the hint of a smirk at the corner of his mouth was all she got as a response. 

Gojo had come back, reaching round and fastening a strip of duct tape around her mouth in a sudden flurry of movement. Giving her no time to process what he had done until after he had done it. 

She cried out, the sound muffled thanks to the tape, worried eyes darting around in panic as she tried squirming again for the third time. 

Gojo pressed up behind her once again. “You’re not going anywhere, sweet pea! You’re ours now. We’ve had you picked out for a long time now.” The joy in his voice didn’t fail to put her on edge, his words doing their part in helping the tears gathered in her waterline to finally spill down her cheeks. Wetting the tape situated over her lips.

“He’s right.” Geto replied. Bringing one of his hands up to show what he had collected from the bag a few moments ago. The mobile phone in his hands glowed brightly in the dark room, the lamp from before having been moved, the light now dim.

“We’ll bring you back with us soon enough, but we still have a few more hours to kill before that. And why waste them.” Gojo said, the grin in his voice unsettling her, keeping her frozen in fear.

An easy smile pulled at Geto’s cheeks at that, head tilting to the side to gaze down at their pretty prey. 

“Well what are you waiting for then, Satoru?”

A pause. Smile pulling into a predatory grin.

“Have at it.”

[estebanocon]

Ok, here's my recap of seeing Esteban over the Singapore GP! I've been attending every Singapore GP since 2017 and have supported Esteban each year. For me the highlight from this year was finding out that not only does he recognise my face, he also knows my name. 🥹

The video above is a compilation from two days: Thursday and Saturday. Full story below the cut. 👇

PRE-RACE WEEKEND / ESTEBAN'S BIRTHDAY

I've been travelling since late July and my flight back to Singapore from Vancouver was actually on Esteban's birthday. I had already committed to editing a video to celebrate his achievements at Alpine. Some of you (bless y'all, seriously) answered my open call for art/video/message submissions and I spent the afternoon before my flight putting it together. I'm happy I got it done and I was even happier when Esteban commented thanking us for it just before I got on my plane. You can watch the video on Instagram here.

THURSDAY

A.K.A. The day after I arrived back in Singapore after 2 months on the road and a 16-hour time difference. I have no idea how I wasn't severely jetlagged lol.

I got to the paddock entrance after 1pm, early enough to still get a spot in front of the barrier, but gosh there were so many people this year. Either F1 has really exploded in popularity (especially with the younger generation) or we just have more fans from overseas coming to Singapore for the race (why tho, it's so hot y'all). Luckily I had a friend with me and he was kind enough to help me take videos when Esteban arrived.

My friend hadn't hit record yet so the video missed Esteban saying "good to see you again, how are you doing?", and you can scroll back up for the rest. ☺️ He thanked me after I asked if he'd seen the birthday video and then there was an awkward moment when I didn't know if we were doing a fist bump or a handshake but man's a gentleman and didn't make me feel weird about it. 🫠

I don't know why after seeing him so many times I still get nervous but I was, and I struggled to take the cap off my marker so he could sign my cap. He very kindly took it from me to open it himself but my marker betrayed me and wasn't working properly (now that I think about it, it also happened the very first time I asked him to sign my hat back in 2017 🤡). Thankfully the girl next to me offered her red marker which actually worked (though Este stabbed the life out of it first to be sure). 🙏

I initially wanted to hang around in the evening with some friends who were coming after the pitlane walk. But at 7pm it was already super crowded and I don't even know why (all the drivers, TPs and media are already in the paddock at this point and won't come out till late that night). So yeah, I just went home to not tire myself out before the race weekend actually started.

FRIDAY

I've accumulated quite a bit of merch since last year so I was bringing a different one on each day for him to sign haha. In the selfie I'm wearing a shirt he signed the day before.

I normally try not to take up too much of his time because he always does his best to make sure all the fans get something from him. I only had one shirt for him to sign but after he did, he continued standing in front of me so I just took out my phone for this picture and then he went on his way. Este is bestie fr. 😭🫶

I didn't hang around outside the paddock again on Friday night because I went to watch OneRepublic. ✨

SATURDAY

The best day for me because this was when I managed to get most of my selfies (including with Mick, who I missed on Thursday because he came with Esteban and obv I have priorities) and also because Esteban managed to drag the car out of Q1. 👏

It was also a good day because I asked Esteban if he could write my name on the cap and as I was trying to spell it out for him, he cut me off because he knew, he just didn't see it was me at first because some guy had draped a huge flag over my friend and me for him to sign. 😭🫶

We tried to wait outside the paddock after qualifying but they started chasing us out at 12am and since they had armed police out in full view, we decided to not fk around and find out. (At previous SGPs they'd stay in the van so we never actually saw them.) Also didn't help that Esteban chose that moment to leave so people started mobbing him and even though he tried to stop at first, security physically pushed him to the exit. 🥲 (which was probably for the best tbh)

SUNDAY

I actually gave Este the wrong hat to write my name on (I wanted him to write it on the cap from his store, not the Alpine one) so I had to ask him again and he kindly obliged.

That night I was lucky to catch him just before he left the circuit, there were some fans running alongside him because he wasn't stopping but he stopped when he saw me. 😭🫶 I got a quick hug and he said see you next year so I guess the greedy mfs at SGP are going to continue getting my money smh.

BONUS ESTE'S BESTIES

Here's a picture of stuff I got signed by Este, as well as some gifts I got from other Esteban fans! And also, a picture of me and Fiq who I met for the first time on race day.

[luckych4rm]

DISCLAIMER

■ no character belongs to me

■ All the characters are young adults.(20+)

□□□MINNORS DO NOT READ□□□

So here it is my second story I hope you like it and in the comments I will read requests xoxo

🖤🖤 JELOUSY 💙💙

(Marinette x Luka SMUT!)

Marinette and Luka were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning, lounging on the couch in Luka's cozy apartment. Luka had his head in Marinette's lap, and she was running her fingers through his hair as she read a book.

and then his phone started ringing

"One sec, let me get this." Luka untangled himself from Marinette and sat up to grab his phone and answer the unknown number

"Hello?"

"Luka! Hello. It's Solenn, i hope you dont mind but professor Picard gave me your number " solenn said

"Oh, hey Solenn. Yeah, no problem. Is there something you needed?" Luka asked, looking over at Marinette and shooting her a smile

"Yes, actually." There was a pause on the line before Solenn continued. "I've been working on the music project for a while now, and i was wondering if you could take a look at it and give me some feedback?"

"Yeah, sure" Luka replied. "Just send it over whenever you're ready."

"Actually… I was wondering if we could maybe meet up so you can listen to it in person " Solenn said.

"Uh, yeah sure, we can do that. What day were you thinking?" luka asked as he grabbed and apple

There was another pause before Solenn responded. "How about today? If you're not too busy, of course i could go over to your place" there was a hint of hopefulness in her voice.

Luka's eyebrows raised in confusion "Uh.....yeah i guess today works "

You could practically hear the smile in Solenn's voice as she replied. "oh thank you i will not take much of your time i promise ."

"Alright i am sending you the adress come around 1 pm." Luka said nonchalant.

"Great, i'll see you then." Solenn said warmly, and with that, he ended the call.

Marinette, who had been listening to the conversation, raised an eyebrow at luka. "who was that?"

"Oh, that was just Solenn, a girl from class. She's working on a project and wanted me to take a look at it." Luka replied casually, taking another bite of his apple.

"And she wanted to come over here to show you?" Marinette's tone was slightly accusatory. She knew Luka would never do anything to make her feel insecure, but she couldn't help to feel jealousy.

Luka looked at Marinette and saw the hint of jealousy in her eyes. He set down his apple and reached over to take her hand.

"Hey, there's nothing to get mad about," he said gently. "She just needed some advice on a school project, that's all, plus you are going to be here"

Marinette tried to shrug off her jealousy, but she couldn't shake the feeling of unease. "I know, It's just... she seemed pretty eager to come over here"

Luka chuckled and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I'm sure it's nothing baby"

"Yeah, you're right," Marinette muttered, trying to push away the nagging feeling in the back of her mind. "I'm being silly"

They spent the next few hours lounging on the couch and watching tv, but as the time ticked closer to 1pm, Marinette's unease grew.

Finally, at exactly 1pm, the doorbell rang. Luka got up to answer the door while Marinette tried to calm her racing heart.

"Oh hi luka, nice pyjamas" solenn said with a smile on her face

"Thanks my girlfriend made it ,"

Luka replied with a chuckle, as he looked down at his pyjamas, which he indeed never changed out of.

"your girlfriend huh? well, they really suit you." Solenn said, glancing at him appreciately.

Marinette rolled her eyes at the exchange, already feeling irritated with Solenn's flirty tone.

Luka seemed oblivious to Solenn's flirtatious tone and ushered her inside. "Come on in."

Solenn stepped into the apartment and glanced around, taking in the cozy decor. Her eyes landed on Marinette, and her smile faded a little

"Oh, hi, i'm Solenn," Solenn said, extending a hand towards Marinette. "You must be Luka's girlfriend."

Marinette forced a smile and shook hands with Solenn, trying to hide her irritation.

"yes," she said stiffly " I'm Marinette."

A tense silence fell over the room as Solenn studied Marinette with a hint of what seemed like disdain. Luka, noticing the tension, broke the silence.

"So, you wanted me to listen to your music?" he said, trying to ease the awkward atmosphere.

Solenn's eyes flicked back to Luka, and her smile returned. "Yes, I really want your opinion on the piece I composed for the music project." she said with a slight pout.

"Sure, go ahead." Luka gestured for her to continue while Marinette sat there awkwardly. She was trying to resist the growing irritation in her stomach. Solenn took a seat on the couch and pulled out her sheet music and her guitar out of the case

The room fell silent again as Solenn began to play. Her voice was pretty, but all marinette could think about was that Solenn had obviously made herself look pretty before coming over. She was wearing makeup and had styled her hair, while Marinette was just sitting there in her day-old pyjamas.

As Solenn continued to play and sing, Marinette couldn't help but notice how her gaze kept drifting over to Luka, watching for his reaction.

Luka was clearly impressed by the music, nodding along and occasionally offering praise. He seemed completely oblivious to Solenn's obvious interest in him. Marinette, on the other hand, was growing more and more annoyed with every note.

Finally, Solenn finished her performance and looked up at Luka expectantly.

"That was good," Luka said with genuine praise. "You have a beautiful voice you just need a little bit more of breath control."

Solenn beamed at the compliment and leaned forward ever so slightly. "Thank you, Luka. Your opinion means a lot to me."

Marinette rolled her eyes and fidgeted with her fingers.

"and you need to relax your fingers so the melody can sounds more natural more fluid" he says

Solenn nodded, taking Luka's advice seriously. She began playing again, this time with a more relaxed grip on the strings, following Luka's tips.

Marinette found herself getting more and more frustrated with Solenn's obvious efforts to impress Luka. She couldn't help but feel that Solenn was trying to steal her boyfriend right in front of her. Every time Solenn touched Luka's arm or gave him a coy smile, Marinette's annoyance grew.

After what felt like an eternity, Solenn's practice finally came to an end. She carefully put her guitar back into its case and stood up, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Thank you so much for your help, Luka. I really appreciate it." she said, her voice dripping with sweetness.

Luka smiled politely. "No problem"

"Do you mind if I use the bathroom real quick?" Solenn added with a coy smile.

"Sure, it's down the hall." Luka pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

Solenn thanked him and sauntered down the hall, leaving Luka and Marinette alone momentarily.

As soon as Solenn was out of the room, Marinette let out a huff of frustration.

"Can you believe her?" she said, crossing her arms.

Luka looked at her, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Marinette rolled her eyes. "She's basically throwing herself at you right in front of me!"

Luka's eyes widened in surprise. "What? No, she's not. She's just being friendly."

Marinette huffed again. "Yeah, sure, 'friendly.' She's been drooling all over you, touching your arm and giggling at everything you say."

"You're over-thinking it, baby," Luka replied, placing his arms around her as he smiles at her and leans to give her a kiss

Marinette tried to shrug off her worries. "Maybe you're right. I just don't like her, okay?"

Just then, Solenn emerged from the bathroom, smiling sweetly. "Sorry to interrupt."

Luka gave Marinette a reassuring look before turning back to Solenn. "Its okay."

Marinette bit her lip, trying to contain her irritation as Solenn sat back down on the couch.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, before Solenn spoke up, her gaze fixed on Luka.

"so how long have you guys been together"

"Almost four years now," Luka replied with a smile.

Solenn raised her eyebrows, feigning surprise. "Four years? Wow, that's a long time, i never heard you talk about Marina."

Marinette clenched her fists, not missing the undertone in Solennes voice

"Marinette," Luka corrected. "And yeah, we've been together since high school."

Solenn let out a small, exaggerated gasp. "High school sweethearts? How romantic!"

The jealousy in Marinette's chest flared up as Solenn continued to fawn over Luka.

Solenn leaned closer to Luka and placed a hand on his knee. "You two are lucky to have found each other so young."

Luka's eyes flicked down to her hand, and he shifted slightly towards Marinette.

Marinette felt like she might explode if Solenn touched Luka one more time. She clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles turned white.

Solenn seemed to notice Marinette's obvious annoyance and flashed a sly smile. "you are really lucky Marina" . Luka opened his mouth but marinette interrumped him

"It's Marinette," Marinette snapped, unable to hold back any longer. "And yes I am really lucky he is great in everything he does "

Luka looked at her with a mix of surprise and confusion, but Solenn just smiled even bigger.

"i bet he is" Solenn said

Marinette's eyes narrowed as she picked up on the hidden meaning in Solenn's words. She could feel anger bubbling up inside her, and she was struggling to keep it under control.

Luka could sense the mounting tension and attempted to diffuse the situation. "Uh, well, anyway—"

"You know, Luka, I've always been fascinated by your fingers. They're so agile and delicate. I can only imagine the wonders you can do in the piano... ." Solenn's tone was dripping with innocence, but her message was crystal clear

Marinette couldn't hold her tongue any longer. "Mmm yes you can only imagine but i can totally tell you they really do wonders"

Luka's eyes widened in surprise, his cheeks flushing a deep red. Solenn raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence.

"Oh, do they now?" She questioned, her smile growing more sly.

"Yes, they are amazing," Marinette replied fiercely, her voice dripping with possessiveness. "They do...a lot of things," grabbing luka's half eaten apple and taking a bite

Luka's face was now as red as a tomato, but Solenn looked unfazed.

"Hmm, sounds like you two have quite a special relationship," Solenn said, her voice tinged with jealousy.

Marinette bristled at the comment. "We do."

Solenn smirked and leaned closer to Marinette. "I understand. Some say jealousy is the sincerest form of love. You must love him deeply."

Marinette's eyes widened as Solenn hit a nerve. "oh i do love him, more than anything and i am not jelous I know he would never give in to the cheap flirts of anybody."

Luka tried to interject, but Marinette ignored him, her focus solely on Solenn.

"Sure sure, But it's natural to feel a little insecure, isn't it? When someone is as talented and attractive as Luka, they're bound to have admirers." she says with a smirk

Marinette's voice grew cold. "Yes, it would be but I've never had to worry because Luka doesn't like easy things."

Solenn chuckled. "Oh, honey. All men like easy things, no matter how much they deny it."

Marinette clenched her jaw, her hands balling into fists.

This time, Luka raised his voice a little "Okay, that's enough" he said firmly, standing up from the couch.

Marinette, feeling a mixture of relief and anger, also stood up.

Solenn frowned, looking up at Luka. "What's wrong?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"This is getting a little out of hand" Luka said sternly. "I think it's time you go."

Solenn pouted, looking between Luka and Marinette. "is it because i said you were like all men?. im sorry Luka i just tought marinette and i were having some girl talk"

Luka's expression softened slightly. "Look, I wanted to help you, but I think you've overstayed your welcome"

Solenn looked hurt, but she quickly composed herself. "oh my i am so sorry i never meant to over stay my welcome" she said grabbing her stuff

"It's fine," Luka said, but his voice lacked warmth.

Solenn looked between him and Marinette once more, her lips curving into a subtle sneer. "I guess I better go then. Thanks again for your help, Luka."

"No problem," Luka replied as he escorted Solenn to the door.

As she was about to leave, Solenn turned back to Marinette with a smirk. "It was nice meeting you, Marina." But luka closed the door before marinette could say anything

Finally, Solenn was gone. Marinette let out a frustrated huff and turned to Luka, who was leaning against the door, looking tired. "okay so you were not over thinking it, im sorry" luka said

"I'm sorry i also got carried away" Marinette said

Luka chuckled softly and walked over to her, wrapping her in a hug. "It's okay. I just had never seen you like that it was.... kinda hot actually."

Despite her annoyance, Marinette couldn't help but smile at Luka's compliment. "Oh really? You like it when I get jelous"

" Yeah definitely a turn on," he whispered in her ear. Marinette felt a shiver run down her spine at his words, but she tried to maintain a serious look. "You're only saying that to get on my pants, Couffaine" she said, and there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"And is it working?" he asked, his voice low and seductive.

Marinette pretended to think about it for a moment, enjoying the banter. "Maybe," she said, pretending to be aloof. "But I'm not sure I'm in the mood after dealing with your fan."

"Jealous, much?" Luka teased, his arms still wrapped around her waist.

Marinette rolled her eyes, but a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "You have no idea, i hated the way she was looking at you" she muttered. "like she wanted to fuck you... like you were a piece of meat and she was so... obvious about it... " she said as she slid one hand inside his shirt

Luka chuckled, his eyes shining with amusement at her possessive grip. "Are you marking your territory, princess?" he joked

Marinette looked up at him, her expression serious. "Damn right I am.," she said, pulling him closer."Oh you are?" Luka raised an eyebrow, his voice low. "And what are you going to do about it?" He says biting his lip

Marinette leaned in close, her lips just inches away from his. "Im gonna do all the things she wishes she could do to you," she whispered.

Luka's eyes darkened with desire at her words. "Mmm, I like the sound of that."

He captured her lips in a deep, passionate kiss, his hands tightening around her waist. Marinette returned the kiss fervently, her hands moving under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin. She deepened the kiss, their mouths moving together in a rhythm that was desperate almost frenzied as she leaded him to the couch Luka let her guide him, allowing her to take control as they fell onto the couch. He pulled her onto his lap, his hands roaming up and down her sides, relishing the feel of her body against his. Marinette straddled him, her fingers tangling in his hair as she kissed him deeply. Her body pressed against his, hips rolling against his hips as they both got lost in the moment.

Luka groaned, his hands gripping her hips, helping her move against him. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips down her neck, leaving a trail of kisses and tiny bites as he made his way down to her collarbone, but she pulled away to set herself kneeling on the floor in between his legs He looked down at her, his breath catching in his throat as he realized what she was doing. He leaned back, watching her with hungry eyes as she ran her hands up his thighs. Marinette looked up at him through her eyelashes, enjoying the way she could see the desire in his eyes. She slowly pulling down his pyjamas pants, her fingers moving slowly and teasingly. Luka's eyes darkened with anticipation as he watched her, his hands clenching onto the edge of the couch. He could feel himself getting impatient, but he forced himself to remain still, letting her have the control she had demanded.

Marinette chuckled softly, noticing the way he was trying to hold back. "Impatient, are we?" she teased, her fingers tracing small patterns on the inside of his thigh.

Luka's breath caught in his throat at her touch, and he had to resist the urge to grab her hair and pull her closer. "you have no idea", his voice rough with desire. "oh i think i do" she purred before leaning down and trailing her lips over his hip in a light, teasing manner before taking his dick with her hands.

Luka let out a guttural moan at the contact, his hips instinctively bucking towards her. "Fuck...Marinette" he gasped, his hands clenching the couch. He couldn't take his eyes off her, watching as she began to move her hands, her pace slow and deliberate. She looked up at him, a smirk on her lips as she saw the effect she was having on him. "You like that?" she asked seductively "Yeah," Luka bit out, his voice strangled. he pushed his hips upwards, trying to get more of her touch. "so goood baby but I need...." Marinette chuckled, enjoying the way he was coming undone underneath her. "what do you need, Luka?" she asked, still moving her hands slowly. She smirked, enjoying the way he was begging for her. "mmm I love it when you beg," she said, her voice low and sultry. "please suck my dick...please" he panted.

Luka's entire body was on fire, his eyes dark with need, his voice thick with desire

She leaned in, her breath hot against his skin. "Since you asked so nicely," she whispered, and then her mouth was on him, taking him in Luka let out a loud moan as he felt her mouth on him, his head tipping back against the couch. "oh god, just like that," he gasped, his hands clenching the fabric of the couch Marinette continued her pace, enjoying the sounds she was coaxing out of him. She looked up, his blue eyes meeting hers, and their eye contact only made him all the more undone. He bit his lip, trying to hold back the sounds that were threatening to escape his throat but they kept escaping. "I'm close, I'm so close" he warned, his voice pleading

Marinette hummed against him, her tongue swirling around him, and he let out a strangled moan. "please don't stop." he whispered He was so close to the edge that he could barely think, consumed by the sensations she was bringing about. He reached down, his hand finding her hair, his fingers grasping desperately. He was helpless against her, completely at her mercy, and the loss of control only heightened the pleasure. He was on the verge of the edge, and he could feel himself getting closer and closer with each flick of her tongue "Fuck, I'm gonna..." He tried to give her a warning but she just hummed again, taking him deeper, and that was all it took for him to explode on her mouth Marinette swallowed, looking up at him with a satisfied smirk. She leaned back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she watched him catch his breath.

His heart was beating wildly, and he was struggling to catch his breath. "holy... god" he panted, his body still trembling with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He looked at her with a mix of awe and disbelief She chuckled, her smirk widening. "You're welcome." she said playfully. She stood up and straddled him once more, resting her hands on his chest.He reached up and pulled her down for a kiss, his hands roaming over her hips and sides. "You're so hot," he said huskily against her lips, still in awe of how effortlessly she had taken control.

She smiled, enjoying the praise. "And you're too easy to please," she teased, nipping at his lower lip."I can't help it when you're so good at being in charge." He began peppering kisses along her jawline, his lips moving along her skin with a needy fervor She tilted her head to give him better access, her fingers tangling in his hair. "Is that so?" she murmured, arching her back slightly to press against him.

"Mhmm." He moved his lips to her neck, his tongue tracing a path down her throat. " I can't get enough of you."

"Mmm so you wont mind if i do this" she said, her voice low and husky. She shifted on his lap, grinding against him, and he groaned, his hands gripping her hips forcefully. "God, Marinette," he gasped, his body immediately responding to her movement. He pulled her harder against him, his hips rolling involuntarily to meet hers. Then she sets her entrance on his cock and starts riding him Luka groaned, his head falling back as he felt his dick slid into her "fuck" he panted, his hands moving to grip her hips, guiding her movements. He watched her ride him, mesmerized by the sight "You feel so good inside me" she moans, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"Mhm?" he said, his voice rough and strained. He was trying to control himself, but it was difficult with her riding him like this. He started lifting his hips to meet her movements, the motion causing waves of pleasure she moans "oh fuck" she pants, moving faster against him as she leans forward, her lips finding his. He met her kiss eagerly, his tongue delving into her mouth as he continued to move with her. The friction was building between them, and he could feel himself getting close again. "Marinette" he gasped "me too bab..." she trails off, not being able to finish the sentence as pleasure courses through her body He could feel her clenching around him, and it pushed him over the edge. "I'm...I.." he warned, his voice strangled as his orgasm hit him with a force that made him see stars. He bit down on her shoulder, his body trembling as he came, holding her tightly against him. "fuck" he panted, his heart beating like a runaway train. He was still catching his breath as she collapsed against him, her face buried in his neck. He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying the feeling of her weight on top of him, their breath mingling in the aftermath. He kissed the top of her head, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on her back. "You're aamazing," he whispered

"You're the amazing one" she said, her voice a little shaky. She looked up at him, a tired but satisfied smile on her face. "I'm starting to see the perks of being jealous."

Luka chuckled, his hands still roaming across her back. "I guess I'm okay with you being the jealous type if this is the result", he teased. He leaned down to kiss her softly.

[crinkled-emotions]

If you are taking prompts for buddie. Could you do one where Buck is sick maybe with food poisoning from the whumperil lists and Eddie ties care of him. If you don't like that prompt maye use the one "I think I need to sit down" for buck. Have eddie catch him and slowly lower him down.

If you arnet taking prompts that's ok! Thank.

Hehehehe anon I hope you're still here bc I'm BACK to be a menace to the 9-1-1 fandom (be completely ignored) and yet they can't get rid of me!)

I started a rewatch so I'd be ready for season 7 then I remembered it won't be (legally) available in Australia for ages... and kept watching anyway bc it's been so long since I did a complete rewatch from s1 e1. It's been SUCH a treat.

I've also got a friend watching for the first time and their excitement is reminding me so much of the first time I saw this bunch of adults in firefighter uniforms and went oh.

Anywho- on to the fic!

-

"Eddie, hold up!"

Eddie glanced over his shoulder, frowning when he spotted Bobby jogging down the stairs.

"What's up, Cap?"

"I know you're going home but I was hoping you could check on Buck. He just called out and I need to organise someone to cover him."

Eddie paused, brows furrowed.

"Did he say why?"

"I was hoping he'd told you."

That reminded Eddie- he hadn't heard from Buck all shift which was very unusual. He shifted his bag to his other shoulder and reached into his back pocket for his phone, checking his messages.

"I've got nothing, but I'll let you know what I find."

"Thanks Eddie."

Bobby squeezed his arm then headed back upstairs, calling out goodbye to Hen, Chim and Ravi who were also going home after a long 24 hours. Eddie also waved at them, sending a quick text to Buck to warn him he was stopping by. He was hoping Buck had a minor cold but something told him to stop by a pharmacy on his way over just in case.

-

One visit to CVS later and Eddie was letting himself into Buck's apartment, plastic bag in hand. The apartment was eerily quiet as he stepped inside, unusual because even if he was upstairs for a moment Buck usually had the TV in the living room playing for background noise. Eddie dumped the plastic bag and double checked the living area for signs of life, poked his head into the downstairs bathroom, and then took the steps to the mezzanine level. His eyebrows knit together in confusion as he took in the rumpled blankets, the empty water bottles strewn throughout the room, and Buck-

Buck.

"What happened to you?"

Eddie knelt by the Buck-shaped figure in bed, finding his shoulder and giving it a gentle shake.

"Ugh, Eddie no, don't. I'll puke again."

"Again?"

Buck groaned, turning his head. Blue eyes met brown and Eddie put the back of his hand to Buck's forehead.

"You're a little warm. How long have you been puking?"

"What time is it?"

"Nearly 1pm."

"Almost twelve hours."

Buck leaned into Eddie's touch, eyes fluttering shut into a grimace when Eddie pulled the blankets off.

"C'mon, sit up. Let me get a better look."

Unwillingly Buck did as asked, leaning against the headboard.

"Does anything else hurt?"

"My head and my stomach; I think I ate something bad."

"Wait here."

Eddie hefted himself back up, rounding the bed to go back downstairs. Buck huffed, swiping at his eyes.

"Not like I can go anywhere!"

He grumbled, playing with a loose thread on his boxers.

"Not without puking at least."

He glanced up when he heard footsteps on the stairs and Eddie reappeared, plastic CVS bag in hand.

"What are you doing?" Buck asked, watching Eddie dump it on the end of the bed and rifle through it for a moment.

"I got you something... aha!"

He produced a bottle of Pedialyte and a plastic cup he must have grabbed from downstairs, pouring a serving of the liquid and then handing it to Buck.

"Bottoms up."

"Eddie," Buck groaned, "I-"

"-I know, you're really nauseous. Just trust me."

Eddie's never led him astray before and he's not likely to start now. Not after everything. Not after last summer.

Eddie still gets a funny look on his face when Buck brings up that random Friday morning kiss. It's not regret, it's never regret, just... well. Buck's not really sure. He's never seen Eddie like that.

He downed the Pedialyte.

-

The nausea reached its peak a few minutes later and it was only Eddie's quick dad/medic responses that got the trash can under Buck's chin in time. He'd been sitting on the other side of the bed, flicking through the channels to find something to watch considering it was almost 2pm. The minute Buck scrambled to sit up again after being asleep for almost an hour Eddie had grabbed the trash can and handed it to him with lightning fast reflexes, instinctively rubbing Buck's back. When Buck resurfaced Eddie handed him a tissue, switching that for the soiled bin liner.

"Here. You- uh."

"Thanks."

Buck's voice was hoarse as he wiped himself off, cheeks flushed a gentle pink. Whether that was from the fever, the humiliation of throwing up in front of his crush or a combination of both he wasn't willing to think too hard about. Eddie hefted himself off the bed, taking the trash can from his hands.

"Back in a sec."

He headed for the ensuite and Buck listened to the toilet flush then the sink run, hand slapping out to reach for his water bottle Eddie had kindly refilled earlier. A couple sips settled without issue in his stomach and he adjusted when Eddie reappeared, placing the bin back down beside Buck before flopping on to the bed with him and reaching into his back pocket for his phone.

"Chris said they're starting Earth Sciences this week," he said absentmindedly as he replied to whatever was going on then tossed his phone on to the bedside table and glanced over at Buck.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm gonna sue them," Buck complained pitfully as he lay back down, burying his head into his pillow. Eddie snorted.

"Careful Buck, remember last time you did that?"

An eye opened, the blue a stark contrast against the dark sheets, but then Buck smiled.

"I'll sue you too Eddie Diaz."

Eddie rolled his eyes as he swatted at Buck's shoulder, grabbing the remote again.

"Sure you will, man. Now what do you want to watch?"

Buck hummed, scrubbing at his eyes.

"Mmmmm... nothing food related."

Eddie flicked past an old rerun of Martha Stewart, nodding.

"Of course."

-

The clock struck five and Eddie carefully extracted himself from where Buck had somehow managed to curl up with his head on Eddie's thigh and was having another sick nap. He checked his phone and saw the notification that the food was almost there so he went into the kitchen and grabbed bowls. He heard someone knock on the door and went over to take the food from the delivery guy, thanking him as he carried it back to the kitchen island. In a couple minutes he had Buck's broth in a bowl and warm, his own stir fry hot and begging to be eaten. Considering Eddie had just come off a 24 hour shift when he headed to "check" on Buck, the food was very welcome and he took a couple bites for himself before sneaking upstairs to check on Buck. He was still asleep and for the first time since Eddie had barged into his apartment, he didn't look like he was uncomfortable. A part of Eddie felt cruel for waking him but the other part of him, the medic part, knew Buck needed something in his stomach that wasn't Pedialyte or water.

"Hey, Buck, come eat something," he called up the stairs. Eddie heard Buck groan followed by the sound of him trying to get out of bed.

"Eddie I'm dying," he groaned. Eddie rolled his eyes.

"You're clearly feeling better if you're complaining about dying. C'mon, come down here."

Sure enough, Buck made his way downstairs in a pair of athletic shorts and a shirt just as Eddie tossed a spoon down on the table beside the bowl. He collapsed into the seat in front of the soup, one eye on the downstairs bathroom door.

"Try and keep that down then we can talk about something solid."

"Thanks, Eds."

Buck picked up the spoon and tentatively worked on getting the soup down; Eddie joined him after a minute and practically chewed through his stir fry without even thinking about it. Nothing could ever be as good as Bobby's-

Oh, that's what he forgot.

Bobby: is everything okay?

Bobby: Eddie?

Eddie: sorry Bobby I completely forgot

Eddie: he's got food poisoning but he's already coming out the other side

Bobby: I figured you'd call if there were issues. Thanks Eddie

Buck, sitting beside Eddie working on his soup, raised an eyebrow as Eddie put his phone down.

"What's Chris up to?"

"Hopefully not begging Carla for a second serving of ice cream. No; that was Bobby. He was worried when you called in."

Buck frowned; Eddie could see where his mind was going and touched his shoulder.

"I would have come to check on you if I'd known even if he didn't ask. You don't call out of work unless you're contagious or it's serious."

Buck pushed away the soup, elbow on the table so he could rest his head on his hand. Eddie reached over to check him for a fever again.

"How do you feel?" He asked. Buck made the so-so motion.

"My head hurts."

"Go lie on the couch; I'll change your sheets so you can go to bed."

"Eddie no, you don't have to-"

"-Buck, it's clean sheets; not a marriage proposal."

Buck's mouth twitched upward into a smile; Eddie squeezed his shoulder and left the table to go upstairs. Buck watched after him with a warm feeling in his stomach.

It wasn't nausea.

-

When Buck stirred the next morning he paused, grimacing to take stock of the situation. His head was down to a gentle (irritating) throb against his temples but his stomach was staying put for the time being. The sheets were still tucked over him and he yawned into his hand, rolling over and tossing an arm over his bed mate-

Wait.

Cracking his eyes open Buck took stock of the situation. He knew he'd been sick again sometime overnight, barely able to remember tossing cookies (soup) because it had come out of nowhere in his doze. Part of him remembered Eddie being there, a figure in the darkness and he'd-

He'd stayed.

"Eddie," Buck whispered. Eddie cracked an eye open and reached his arm out, brushing a thumb over Buck's cheek.

"You look better," he rasped. Buck hummed.

"You didn't have to stay."

"Hm, well, maybe I wanted to."

Buck's eyes fluttered shut as he revelled in the feeling of Eddie's thumb on his cheek. When Eddie was half asleep he could be incredibly tactile and Buck lived for when he got to see Eddie like that.

"No one needs to see-"

"-Buck. I want to know when you're sick, or you're hurting. Whatever it is."

Buck's cheeks flushed and he buried his face back against his pillow. Eddie's hand moved to the back of his neck, brushing through the ends of his hair like it was something he did all the time.

"Thanks for coming, Eddie."

"Sure."

Eddie gently squeezed Buck's shoulder.

It felt like coming home.

-

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #361

Ohhh, Sephiroth, it has been a real long day, goodness me! Today's letter is coming to you very late. I'm sorry if you worried a little.

Okay. So. It is Saturday (well, actually technically Sunday now, but whatever...). Which means I went to work from 9am until 1pm. And this morning, it was cold.

...I got some really nice pictures of the cold, actually. Here:

...Been a while since last I've seen ice crystals this nice on a surface. This happens as a result of frost. The condensation that occurs on surfaces overnight freezes into pretty patterns.

...I think it's best enjoyed from a distance, though. But then, that's why I take the pictures, right? So you can look at the pretty thing without needing to go outside and be cold! Yay!

At work, the big boss of the store (he's called Jo) asked me to wipe down one of the coolers in which we keep chilled cakes and other stuff that needs to be kept cold. So that is what I did. Nobody had done it in a while, so some of the dust was crusted on there pretty solidly, and that kinda sucked. But, I was allowed to go fetch some melamine foam pads from the cleaning section to get the job done!

...I didn't think to take a picture because I'm kind of a derpy-derp. Sorry about that. But Jo and Tr both seemed pleased with the results. I liked how it looked after I was done with it, too.

Sadly, the rib injury was not pleased with any of that, though. Apparently, it very much dislikes overhead movements of my arm as well as movements straight out to the front. I did a nice job, but... around 20-30 minutes after I was done, I was in a whole lot of pain for the next several hours, which made some of the movements of my job (like bagging breads and pulling the lever for the slicing machine) a little harder to do. Even now, at 1:03am, the area is still relatively unhappy. But thankfully, it's not as bad as it was before.

I'm not sure why, but... I've decided that An from the meat department is potentially friend-shaped. I think it has to do with the way he speaks to other people and with the way he carries himself in the space, and the meticulousness with which he works. I don't know how to articulate what this combination of things means to me. I guess... something about it tells me that he's very kind. And... after having spent a lifetime honing my instincts in various unpleasant ways, I like to think that by now, I tend to have a good sense for that sort of thing, at least in person.

...I guess... I have a whole lot of experience with what “unkindness” looks like. And his manner of being, so far, doesn't look like the old things I've seen. It might still be the case that not enough time has passed for other things to come out. But if I try to be friends, then those things will eventually come out, if they exist. They always do.

Though I generally have good instincts, it doesn't necessarily translate to knowing how to engage in the social, though. I've never really known how to approach people. I've been told my whole life that I come on a bit too strong for most people's tastes, asking them personal questions such as ”do you like video games?” and “what is your favorite kind of snack?”

...I have a lot of people telling me that my manner of being is creepy and repulsive. And... I know that I'm awkward and that my facial expressions are strange and that I hold myself weirdly. I know these things scare people. And I don't wanna scare people. So normally, I just stay away, even when I am interested. I don't want anyone to have a bad time because of me, you know?

Tr seems socially savvy, so I asked her what to do. And she said to me that my questions are not, in fact, too forward. And that I should just ask him next time I see him. The notion was a little mind-blowing to me, given that I literally have experiences where people have called me “geek” and “loser” for asking if they play video games. I've been told that my questions aimed at trying to connect make me seem a bit too “desperate”.

...I'm not really sure how anyone is supposed to get to know anyone else if asking basic questions is seen as “desperate” and “too forward” and “geeky”, though. So... maybe the things that I was told before are simply untrue things said to me by very cranky and insecure people. Tr is good folks. So I'm gonna try to trust her word over the words of the mean people.

...So. Once again, here I go challenging the notion that I'm fundamentally gross and unlikable. Yay!

I did end up seeing An as I wandered about at the end of my shift, gathering things we needed for the house. And I did as she suggested.

...For sure, my part of it was very clumsily executed. But... I have a new friend on Steam now! I'm pretty stoked about that!!! Maybe someday we'll play video games or get a tasty snack somewhere!! Wouldn't that be neat!!

I feel like us quiet, shy folk gotta stick together. Or else we'll get barreled over by the rest of the world, or else have life pass us by without ever getting noticed or without affecting anything at all. And that's a little too sad, isn't it? To live your life with a glass wall around yourself that you don't want and don't know how to get rid of...?

...I certainly know what that's like. And I don't want anyone else to have to live like that. So... if I gotta scream at my own glass wall until it breaks so that someone else doesn't hafta be sad, I'm gonna give it a try. If I have to throw my fists at my own glass wall until my knuckles bleed in order to break it, then I'll try it if it means someone else doesn't have to be sad.

...I suppose getting practice with doing exactly these things is part of the reason I write to you every day. Admittedly, writing these letters does not get less terrifying every time I do it. It's just that the terror gets a little easier to move through, the more I practice doing it.

I wonder how all of this will unfold. I wonder how I will unfold, too, within it all.

...Will you watch as I unfold? As I evolve, grow, and change? Will you be proud, someday, of all the progress I'm trying to make? Can you enjoy watching me struggle to come up from under the shackles my conditioning imposed upon me? Can you let my things inspire you to do similar things? I wonder.

I went home and rested for a long time, and that was very good. I had made plans to go with my elderly friend P to some concert, because J hadn't put on the calendar that we were supposed to go see some new Lord of the Rings movie today. J reminded me that it was happening as I was finalizing plans about when was gonna be picked up by P. And then I suddenly had to tell P that I had a prior commitment that I didn't remember because it wasn't on the calendar. I felt pretty badly about that.

...I hope I'll be able to hang out with P sometime soon. I'd like to take him and his sister to the hotpot place called Volcano. Maybe they'd like it; they're usually up for trying out new things like that...

I got a snack shortly after that, and from there, I changed into a new set of braces. This one is set number 7! The shift doesn't feel quite as intense this time as it felt last time. I took pictures to compare the new set to the original set. On the left is the first set I wore, and on the right is the newest set. I'll start with the top one:

...The very confused snaggletooth on the upper right side of my face is a lot less pronounced now! It's almost surreal, how far it's moved!

Here's the bottom set:

It's readily apparent now that my frontmost bottom teeth are much less crowded together than before. They really are starting to even out and line up instead of being crunched up together all weirdly. It's pretty wild!!

...I wonder if I'll have a healthy smile by the time we see you again in the third part of your remade story...

Sephiroth... I can't wait to see you again, but... please try really hard not to get yourself killed. If you try to hurt people, you're gonna be stopped, and... since Cloud and his friends are justifiably very angry with you, I somehow seriously doubt they're gonna be nice about it if they have to stop you. And I really don't wanna see you get hurt. So... please... try something else, okay? Please don't throw your life away with a fight you definitely can't win. It's getting super old.

J and M and I went to a movie with Je, one of the folks from the Speed Friending thing. It was some Lord of the Rings spinoff, animated.

...It is a nice thing, generally, to have funny memories of going out to see a bad movie with people you like. And I hope you get to have that experience someday. Today's experience will resolve into the thing I described, because the entire plot can be summarized as follows:

“King who commands army that regularly forgets that they can shoot arrows accidentally punches the face off of the abusive father of a man who is sad because the pretty princess won't touch his dick; shenanigans ensue as the sad man seeks revenge for lack of both paternal abuse and genital stimulation. King fights sad man's army by himself (archers did not try to help) outside of fortress during winter weather; king's people get bored and go to bed instead of letting him back inside of fortress, so king freezes solid in rad power pose. Pretty princess, in wedding dress, slays sad man as he pretends to not still have a boner for her. More at 11.”

...The whole thing was very silly. There are lots more problems with it, but I'll not get into them because it's late and I'm pretty tired. I wouldn't recommend against seeing the movie; it's definitely an adventure (a very LONG adventure, holy shit). But it is very silly. A lot of the problems could have simply not existed if people weren't acting like such entitled pricks. Alas.

I'm glad to be home. The movie didn't end until like 12:30am. It is 2:18am now.

...I need to get my sleepy ass to bed. Good grief.

Hey. I love you a whole lot. So please make good choices out there. Stay safe. Don't get killed. You gotta try really hard, okay?

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[emmatgc]

Wonderful World Part 9

I Found Love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) 

Seon Yul POV 

“And I've moved further than I thought I could

But I missed you more than I thought I would

And I'll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be

Right in front of me

Talk some sense to me” 

This is Seon Yul’s current favorite song listening to it upon arriving at their rented dorm just outside the hospital they will be studying for a short course. This is on replay button. He can’t help but feel this is his song for her and towards her. It is 1pm in Germany, and it is 8:00pm in Korea. He wasn’t able to call upon landing an hour ago since everything went fast when they were fetched by the dorm master and showed their place. He doesn’t want to be rude and all, so he just texted Soo Hyun, smiling like a teenage boy “I’m here” and I miss you already”. 

He is now sitting and wondering if he calls her since its kinda late at night 

“I don’t know exactly where this feelings of mine started for HER. When my Mother told me to stop my revenge plans years ago, God, it feels like a decade ago but still raw.  All I wanted was to ruin her and make her feel the pain I was feeling. It started with a lie, everything. It wasn’t coincidence, I planned everything and somehow, the outcome was something I didn’t anticipated. I fell in love with her not knowing it was love. They say the opposite of love is hate and I believe that’s what happened to me. I tried to move on, and moved out away from her after that fateful day I went to her book signing event. That was 6 years after and I still felt the same. I was scared but I was sure. I wanted her. I don’t want anybody else. Hells be damn. I’d be lying if I didn’t feel conflicted. She killed my Father so how I can love her? It is twisted. I know. I wish I had answers but I don’t and I don’t care. Still, I would be fine if she didn’t love me back because the last thing I wanted is to force her and hurt her. We bleed the same. Now, she is saying we should give it a shot. Now, I am more than scared that I ever was. True, I want her but do I deserve her, really? What should I do now? God, I am acting like a greenly teenager having a huge crush on a teacher. Haha She is like a strict teacher in my eyes and I always have a thing for strong older woman. It is the reason I didn’t have girlfriends really and those younger than me, I treat them as lil sisters. I was attracted to more mature woman and Soo Hyun is just perfect. She is perfect. She was my torment but now she is my savior”

Checking his phone now, thinking of calling her… he continued in his thoughts 

“When I saw her at the airport time froze. I froze! I cannot believe my eyes. Is this some joke or am I dreaming? Then she hugged me and there it made sense. It is real. Honest to God, I wanted to kiss her right then but I held back for her sake. I didn’t know if she was ready. People say Im crazy but indeed I am. Now that I have her, or shall I say, we have a chance, she didn’t say she loves me yet, or is in love with me, we will take it slow like she said. Im happiest that I’ve ever been and I don’t want this to end. This is something new and everything is uncertain but she said “yes” to a chance and Im gonna try my very best to make her happy. I am sure of my feelings, the question is, will she be able to love me back?”

Soo Hyun POV

It is 8:00pm now, and Soo Hyun was restless and nervous. Will he call? Was it true, what happened at the airport? Maybe I am dreaming, maybe its all a bad joke. She is rumbling by herself. Then, her phone rang 

“I’m here and I miss you already” 

She dropped her phone and thank goodness she is in a couch. Her heart fluttered and her stomach felt butterflies. My gosh, she said, I am acting like a teenager! What should I reply then? Should I reply? Maybe tomorrow since its late already, he needs to rest but wait, our time zone is different now, she realizes. She prepared herself a tea to calm her nerves and it allowed her to think. Think about him and what happened at the airport. 

When Yoo Ra told me they were going abroad, I was shocked and I admit, I was feeling weird. Was I jealous? I know Yoo ra likes him. But I cannot stop thinking about him since he left the orphanage and I tried to stop thinking about him but I can’t. Im too old to feel this way. He is way too young for me and I….I killed his Dad. How can he love me like that? It is crazy. He is crazy. Whats crazier? Why am I feeling this way too? I want him but I know this is wrong. Who dares love the killer of his dad? This is some punishment from the Gods! Yet, if this is a sin then I guess I am willing to take. I want to be happy and I want to move on. I want to choose life and happiness and he….he makes me happy. I don’t know why and how but he does even those years ago, when we were at odds. I cared for him a great deal already. Not as guardian but as person, as a woman, too. Seon Yul didn’t know, I called the hospital and got Yoo Ra’s contact number. I lied that it has something to do about their work at the orphanage but really it wasn’t. We talked. She said “you are both crazy for each other and so if you have any feelings for him, then go with me at the airport and say it directly to his pretty damn face! Yoo ra is great. She is feisty. She should be the one with Seon Yul but He likes me instead. He is in love with me, he said. I like him, too. I want him in my life but truly, I am not sure if this is the same love I had for my husband yet. He was the only man in my life for a long time. But, I had to give my heart a chance this time. Gosh, am I doing the right thing? We bleed the same. The song I love entitled “where is my love” the lyrics there “Don’t she know, we bleed the same” hit me when I listen to it. When he was scared, I wanted to comfort him. When I was scared, he wanted to comfort me. He is like me with all the pain, the agony and sufferings. We can heal each other. We can move on. Together, we can. 

Drinking her tea..she continued “When I saw him at the airport, for the very 1st time, I found him so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. My goodness, I was crazy and acting like a school girl in front a crush! He is like the boy next door type after all. You know the guy across the street. Very pretty, handsome but really prettier than me. Haha.. I can sense his shock and disbelief and I wanted him to feel secured that I am giving this, Us…a chance. I like him and I want him to stay in my life. I don’t know how , or when it will stop of if I will stop but for now, it is what it is. I finally admit, I like him, too. I cannot deny it anymore. 

 It is 2pm now in Germany, Seon Yul is settled and he is worried because she didn’t replied. Is she asleep already? It is after all 9pm. He was about to call it a night when his phone rang… “I am glad you are there safely. Have you eaten? Don’t forget to eat promptly.” 

Haha he laughed. She is always thinking about feeding me and still so proper in her texts! Their “feeding” moments started the very 1st time they got to know each other. They talk over food and it made Seon Yul like her all the more. Seon Yul’s eyebrow slightly raised because she didn’t say she missed him back but it is ok he said, one step at a time. Trust the process. He wanted to reply “goodnight” already since he worries she might stay late if they still talk but he has to try. The boy has to try. He misses her already and he just wanted to hear his voice. 

There were 3 rings and finally, she answered. Seeing her phone rang and his name sent shivers to Soo Hyun. She is so nervous. 

Hello? She said. Hi, he replied.  Both were smiling. 

Seon Yul held his breath and there will silence. As always, Soo Hyun, the “mature” of the two, as she says it herself and she takes pride in it, ask how is he. 

How are you? I am glad your plane landed safely, Seon Yul.

It was a good flight. How are you? 

I am good. Im about to rest. 

Oh, Im sorry , I shouldn’t have called. We can..

NO, its ok. I am glad you called. 

Butterflies felt in his stomach. She is the only one who ca make him feel that way.. So…he said, he cleared his throat. Sorry, I don’t really know what to say, I’m such a mess. Im nervous, Soo Hyun. 

She laughed and replied “I am nervous, too. We are both crazy”. 

We are hahaha 

Have you eaten? You haven’t answered me yet. 

Do you miss me? You haven’t answered me either. 

Both answered simultaneously “I have, said Seon Yul and I do , said Soo Hyun. 

He has eaten and she misses him. 

Both seemed happy with their replies. 

Soo Hyun? 

Yes? 

What are we now? 

Hmmm… I don’t know. 

You don’t? 

I..am not sure but, exclusively dating? 

Seon Yul smiled so wide. His face is gonna hurt if he won’t stop smiling. 

Ok. 

OK? 

Yes. OK. We are dating. Exclusively. 

You don’t sound happy, Seon Yul? 

I can show you how happy I am but it won’t be appropriate Soo Hyun 

She shivered again. She finds him sexy just this instant. 

Is he flirting with me? Soo Hyun wonders. 

He sense the tension and maybe the shyness of Soo Hyun, and he broke it off, still smiling. 

We will take this one day at a time. Nice, easy and slow Soo Hyun, don’t worry. 

They thought they will talk for a minute or two but ended talking 2 hours. They talked about his room in Germany. She was pleased to know the decorations and such. He told her about his scholarship and she was very much impressed. He loves impressing her.  He asked about the orphanage and it seems they are comfortable as they can at least for now. They are friends after all and to level up, is another thing. 

You better rest and sleep now, Soo Hyun. 

Alright. Goodnight Seon Yul. 

Take care please? She added. 

Always. Goodnight and I…I love you. 

You are playing dirty, Seon Yul. 

I’m not. You are. 

See you, I mean, let’s talk again tomorrow. 

Someones excited to see me home already huh.mm

Let’s put the phone now, she said and embarrassed. They both laughed 

Goodnight. Goodnight.

They finally put the phone down and she slept. He on the other hand has to prepare for a meeting. They are now somehow together. They are exclusively a “thing”, dating” They like that word. 

For 5 weeks, the long distance “Sort of relationship” they have was a challenge but not a big one. Yet for Seon Yul, he started missing her so bad already. Seon Yul had a great time in Germany and in his last few days, he was ready to go home. He wants to see her so bad already. 

Yoo Ra will have a different flight and different day to go back. She will stay over for another week. Seon Yul can’t wait to go home. He wants to bring something for her. Yoo Ra helped him tour the city. 

“I meant to ask you, did you and Soo Hyun talked? That day at the airport. How did it happened? 

Yoo ra being funny and jealous of Seon Yul being in love and she, still single, said “I told her if she won’t pursue you, I will?” 

You did what? Seon Yul, about to get furious

Hahahaha..she laughed so hard. Relax, greenboy. I was joking. To cut the story short, we talked. Girl talk. That’s all. So, stop asking already. 

He bought her a cashmink scarf from FRAAS, an 18th century famous german brand. She likes scarfs and he wants to put it on her. Winter is coming and he also bought her a jacket and scented candles. He bought also Kaweco Fountain pens. Of course pens, he said! She needed pens for writing and book signing. Yoo ra can’t help but laughed at him. “You haven’t even bought 1 thing for yourself and Soo Jin, you are a bad friend, Seon Yul” She smacked him at the back. 

He bought a tea set for himself and wanted that tea set for them to use when she visits his home soon. He imagines Soo Hyun having tea at his house. He also bought basic building blocks for the kids in the orphanage. HE never bought a lot for someone ever before. Not even for her mother or father. He has it bad, he thought. 

Yoo ra bid goodbye and they will see each other in Korea next week. 

Seon Yul was packing when he heard his phone rang. 

It is Soo Jin 

Hey bro! I heard you are arriving tomorrow. I want to fetch you but I believe somebody is fetching you tomorrow, right? I don’t want to be the third wheel. Haha, Yoo ra said the same thing. Ill see you soon! Im gonna be mad if I don’t have a gift, bro! 

Seon Yul laughed and thought to himself he has the best friends in the world. Another less to worry in this crazy world they have now entered. 

Soo Hyun texted Seon Yul. “Ill see you tomorrow. “

See you tomorrow. 

I miss you… Seon Yul was shocked to read and he read it again to check if he is wrong or just sleepy right now. But it says right there, she missed him. It’s progress, he said. He giggled. 

He replied “I miss you more. See you tomorrow!”

The next day, Soo Hyun was early. She was excited. She missed him dearly. He was gone more than a month and the yearning and longing was strong for him. She can’t deny it further. 

An hour later…there he is. 

He has arrived. All wearing his gorgeous smile , pretty hair, in white. She wants to run towards her but her feet seems stuck and she can’t move. He is back. He is now my…my Seon Yul. Distracted, Seon Yul hugged her first. He smelled her and squeezed her. 

“Hi” he said. 

Hello, she answered. Welcome back…welcome home. 

Yeah, it is good to be back. 

Let’s go, she said. 

Wait, he said. He took the scarf and put it on her neck. The fuchsia pink scarf. He bought 3 actually. You look beautiful, he murmur.

There, you are ready now. We are ready now. 

Where to? He asked. 

Anywhere with you? she replied.

He chuckled. Sounds romantic, he replied.  They both have huge grin and acting so in love. 

Let’s go. He held her hands. This time though, she interlocked her fingers in his. They were holding hands, properly and romantically now. 

The dating era is about to begin. 

Indeed, they both found love where it wasn’t supposed to be. 

Note :  I do back up research on this story ever since just because also I am a researcher myself. From the places in Korea to the songs, the inspiration and just currently, about Germany, and its famous hospital areas and gifts. Originally, I intended for this to be a 1 shot story but I want to honor and craft slowly this slow burn love story of our favorite characters. They deserve it. I hope you are feeling what I am feeling. I surprisingly enjoyed this for months now. Writing this one, my ever 1st fanfic is very challenging but enjoyable. Now, instead of 10 chapters, this would be probably be 12 at least. So, thank you for sticking with my story. You don’t know how much it means to me. Here and on X (twitter) thank you so much for your support! Next chapter is called “Secret Lovers”. Enough said, the title is everything and more. See yah!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if I started a different discord chat for my friend group just to exclude one person

I know it sounds bad and that I'm just starting shit but we've all been friends for 10+ years now so it's not something I'm considering lightly. We currently have a private discord server of just the 4 of us that we switched to as opposed to a traditional gc since we all have different phones and its good for having multiple conversations, quality photos and videos, and keeping a clear record of when and where plans are made

Anyway, this isn't a recent problem but the friend (A) has always had a tardiness problem it started with her not being able to wake up early in the morning but even if we have late night/afternoon plans she still can't get dressed and/or finish her makeup on time and causes us to be consistently at least 1 hour late which I was hoping she'd start growing out of after highschool but this isn't the case (we're now all 22+) and is especially frustrating when going out to eat bc by the time we leave all of us are hangry and expected to eat hours earlier. Recently A has started prioritizing other friends of hers which is nbd she can have other friends we all do except she'll drop plans last min with us to go with them which is also annoying bc it's disrespectful for the rest of us to be blown off like that. We're clearly not her priority anymore but she always expects to be ours, plans have to be on her work schedule, on her timeframe, on if she will be tired etc. plus being an afterthought leaves out a friend in the group (B) who had to move out of state with family and now he can't tell if we're making plans behind *his* back and he feels left in the dark when in truth he knows as much as I and the other local friend (C) do

It's to the point we've stopped doing any plans that start before like 2pm because we can't rely on her to be ready but she'll be upset if we don't wait for her while she's still getting ready, esp cuz we usually carpool, which already limits what we want to do together in the first place

However, it was my birthday recently and I'm currently ~2hr drive (no more than 3 with heavy traffic) from A and C, who doesn't have a car and needs to be picked up by A. I really wanted to go to my fav breakfast place and had some other plans for after and I kept emphasizing what time A needed to get here because the place closes early (they only serve breakfast). And at this point no one should be surprised she didn't arrive until after 1pm, after the place was closed, and at that point no one had eaten all day so we had to rush and find somewhere else that'd be open and nearby bc we were all starving and half my plans for the day were gone bc they were based on places we'd go after breakfast that also close in the afternoon (2-5 depending on the place) and since they are my closest friends and dont know my other friends who live closer and I've only known for less than 2 yrs (who I wasn't comfortable to ask for bday presents from yet still) (still got one from 1 even tho I insisted they didn't have to tho lol) they were the only people I made solid birthday plans with this year so it was really heartbreaking to deal with and have everything I was excited for be cancelled since it's hard for me to go out like this on my own w anxiety and busy work schedule too but I scheduled the day off. I was hoping that she would try even just a little bit because it was my birthday the one day I ask for literally anything and we rarely see each other now bc of conflicting work schedules and I DID plan for her to be semi late in secret but I didn't expect her to arrive for breakfast after 12

Anyway that's the whole backstory plus the recent straw on the camel's back but I just want to make a new chat between me, B, and C, to plan virtual movie and game nights bc she never reads the events chat anyway and all our online call plans grind to a halt for hours or days waiting for an answer bc at least C still wants to try and include A even tho her schedule is so busy or she's tired or will prob be late to the call and make us wait for her or cancel or leave early or we debate what game/movie A wants but she doesn't even NEED to be there it's just like.. Minecraft. Or a pirated 90s movie we're streaming or wtvr

I've tried saying like "hey I'm gonna be playing x on Saturday if anyone's free come and join me" but that usually just ends in me gaming alone bc it's so noncommittal the others will catch up on other work they have but really I'm just trying to hang with any of them even if 1 person can't make it at the time we don't always have to only call in a group yk?

A is nice otherwise like she's still my friend just planning anything with her is starting to be like pulling teeth and I still want to keep in touch with her and hear how she's doing from our discord server but stuff like that I just want to start separating her from weekly calls (which are currently more like monthly) bc she's so flakey but I know it's kinda shitty to purposefully leave her out and she'd be upset if she ever found out I was doing that.

I'm also open to advice on how to deal with this situation in general, thus the detail, without causing a huge fight or make anyone pick sides +her tardiness won't be something we can talk through it's something we've worked on for years and recently have just given up and accepted since she's late even to things that are important to her

What are these acronyms?

[wonjinburger]

writing prompt #04

bumping into each other as solo travelers ; park sunghoon

태양보다 찬란한 . . . 그게 바로 나

INFO : : park sunghoon x reader / romcom

wc : <1600

notes : this was lowkey rushed bcs i had an idea at 12am but i had to go sleep but i couldn't risk losing the idea

20 JANUARY 2023 : :

2:04 - it's currently 2am and i've just landed in paris, and i'm now heading to my hotel room to take a long ass nap.

13:12 - jk the nap lasted from around 11 hours. now it's 1pm and i'm going to go out for lunch. i've heard a lot of good word about a specific cafe so i'm gonna go try it out!

13:37 - the weirdest things just happened what the fuck? i bumped into this guy, who was really hot btw, by accident. obviously i apologized for it like a normal person but he just scoffed at me and left?? thanks for that random stranger.

23 JANUARY 2023 : :

12:02 - i just had a quick snack and i'm currently on the train to versailles, i wanted to have a quick look at all the beautiful architecture. i find versailles to be such a romantic and beautiful place lol

12:28 - i've arrived at versailles! i have a tour booked for today at 1pm, so i guess i'll walk around versailles for now.

13:13 - no fucking way, the guy i bumped into a few days ago is here too, like, in the same tour group as me. i said hi and he basically looked at me weird and left me standing. thank god idk this guy and i'll never see him again, he seems like an ass.

14 APRIL 2023 : :

10:16 - hi journal, today i'm in the netherlands, i heard about the keukenhof tulip garden and of course i had to come here. i just had breakfast at the hotel i'm staying in and i'm about to head out to the garden to see all the pretty flowers!

11:11 - THE GARDEN IS SO PRETTY OMG BUT THAT EXPERIENCE WAS LOWKEY RUINED. by who you may ask? by FUCKING FRANCE DUDE?? WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE???? like i was taking photos of the pretty flowers and boom, suddenly i see him through the lens of my camera, please get this guy out of my life

11 MAY 2023 : :

00:01 - i have finally done one of the things off my bucket list, and that is to visit switzerland! i always saw tiktoks and photos of the amazing view and obviously i had to come see for myself, but it's 12am rn and i am really tired so i'm gonna go sleep, then i'll explore in the morning

11:42 - okay i woke up a few minutes ago which is quite late, but i'm gonna go down to the hotel's cafeteria and have some brunch before i explore the town

4:51 - hi this isn't funny anymore, i literally just set foot into an eatery near one of the places i was visiting and i see france dude, AGAIN. can he just get out of my life atp please, i'm so sick of seeing his annoying (but ig good-looking) face. AND WHY IS THE ONLY AVAILABLE SEAT LIKE NEXT TO HIS TABLE???

-- (☆)

i'm going back home to korea today, i think i've been travelling way too much, so i'm going to go home and rest up and spend time with my family and some friends.

i boarded the plane and by that point it was 11pm and i was honestly drained. i spent a whole day exploring the more nature-y side of switzerland and the view definitely did not disappoint.

i sat myself down in my assigned seat and was so ready to fall asleep at this point. a guy walked over and sat next to me, and i bet you won't be able to figure out who was gonna be my plane seatmate for almost 12 hours. yeah it was france guy. he seemed pretty surprised to see me too i think.

after he sat himself down next to me, he looked at me, maybe i was staring too hard.. "hey" i looked at him, question marks practically all over my forehead. "can you stop staring at me" i scoffed at him, this guy is ridiculous!

the plane took off a few minutes later and i was starting to doze off, and unfortunately for me i left my neck pillow in my luggage by accident, so my head was dropping left and right.

i suddenly woke up and it felt like i was lying against something? i sat upright to see what i had been sleeping on, and it was france dude? he woke up when he felt me getting up. "you're finally up, my shoulder feels like it's about to dislocate"

'okay sorry for accidentally sleeping on your shoulder but like, rude much'

"oh shit, i'm so sorry. i left my neck pillow in my luggage and i think i just passed out suddenly" he scoffed and i was so close to losing my shit not gonna lie. but the next moment, he handed me his neck pillow and i looked at him while holding the neck pillow. "just use it, i'd rather you use my stuff than you use me" damn okay stranger. "oh, thanks?" and soon he attempted to go back to sleep.

it was currently 8:59am, which meant we still had probably less than 2 hours left of this plane ride, and i was thanking heavens because 12 hours next to this guy would've been hell if i weren't fast asleep.

france guy was moving around in his seat and i assumed he couldn't fall back asleep. i tapped on his shoulders a little to get his attention "hey, you can have your neck pillow back, seems like you can't sleep, and i'm pretty energized right now" he looked at me and sighed "it's fine, i'll just give up on going back to sleep".

after that it was pure silence. and i couldn't stand it so of course i had to open my big ass mouth.

"so.. you travel a lot?" he nodded his gaze fixed on his phone. "alone?" he nodded again still focusing on his screen. damn talking to this guy is so hard. let's bring up the past! "you remember the first time we met?" he finally looked at me. "we've met?" are you fucking serious right now.

"i bumped into you on accident in paris back in january?" he thought about it for a second before replying. "oh! i remember now, you bumped into me and almost spilt your hot coffee all over me" "hey! it almost spilt on me too okay, and i apologized for it" he shrugged it off and went back on his phone.

"you know, i kept seeing you around while i was travelling and at some point i thought you were stalking me" he looked back at me again, his eyebrows furrowed this time. "what the fuck why would i stalk you, i don't even know you?" "it happens sometimes" "hey, for all i know you could be the one stalking me right now" i was taken aback, speechless, i can't handle this guy oh my god.

"you know, your looks and personality clash a lot" he gave me a look that said 'wtf do you mean'. "you're a good-looking guy, like, i'd definitely date you if your personality was nicer" he stared at me for a while and chuckled a little. "for your information i have a great personality" "it sure doesn't seem that way" he scoffed and put his phone down before looking me in the eyes.

"i'm nice to people i'm close to, last i checked, we don't even know each other." "maybe we can change that" he looked shocked by what i said. honestly i'm shocked too, but i mean, he's pretty hot, it would be a wasted chance.

"you want us to get close?" i nodded. "you're ridiculous lady" i rested my head in the palm of my hands as i kept eye contact with him "it's y/n, lee y/n. and you are?" he looked at me in disbelief for a while. "i can't believe this is happening." he let out a deep and heavy sigh before introducing himself. "i'm park sunghoon."

"nice to meet you sunghoon. oh, i was gonna ask if you were korean, but your name just confirmed it for me" "are you heading home right now?" i nodded to his question. "homesick?" he asked, and i nodded. it seemed like he was feeling homesick too. "maybe we should hangout sometime while we're in korea" i blurted out suddenly, to my surprise he didn't oppose of this idea.

i then pushed my phone towards him, "can i have your number then?" he looked at my phone, then at me. "are you hitting on me?" i don't know, was i? i mean, i am interested in him, so i guess? "yeah i am, so what do you say, can i have your number? and maybe we can go out sometime and maybe even travel together?" he stared at me in shock, but his reply lowkey shocked me too.

"sure, let's go on a date soon"

[voidsentprinces]

Adult Drama is weird. Like...even though I work at a gas station and you expect some weirdness. But my first year working here, I got some backrow seats to some weird soap opera drama going down.

The gas station, I work at, had just been renovated and was going through a "soft opening". In that we were accepting customers, getting the store set up by installing mirrors. Getting in iced coffee and getting the stocking and all the random stuff like insurance, gas delivery, food delivery etc. situated.

To begin there was the main manager, the assistant manager, the day shift who wanted to become assistant manager but due to having to wait for the insurance to kick in couldn't because the assistant manager needed to have access to reliable transportation. And without the insurance kicking in yet, they couldn't yet afford subscription glasses to get a license to get a car to get assistant transportation. Which is why even though they were the logical choice to be the assistant manager, the dude who became the assistant manager was someone lets just say...underqualified to doing the job.

So, reiterate, the main manager (works 9am - 5pm), the one chosen to be the assistant manager so we could eventually grand open in March, the person working morning to afternoon who should of been the assistant manager, the morning barista (cooks food from 4:30am - 9am part time gig), the afternoon shift lady, and two graveyard shifts. Alone Monday through Thursday and then working together Friday through Sunday (9pm - 5:30am).

The situation that is important is the assistant manager thingie. Aforementioned but the guy doing the job was more than just half-assing it. Which is why the Manager was waiting for the 1st shift worker to get insurance to eventually replace the current assistant manager. That was...until, they accidentally sold tobacco to an undercover test shopper.

For those who do not know, three bodies: Mystery Shopper, Local Police, and Corporate will occasionally send someone underage to come into a store and attempt to buy tobacco to see if the staff are I.D.ing and denying sale of tobacco, alcohol and lottery for those underage (Tobacco and Alcohol are 21 years for purchase while lottery is 18) in accordance to law.

The company has a strict, one strike your out policy. Because California law can strip any company not following this law of tobacco, alcohol, and lottery sales certification. The person who was to become the assistant manager and take over for the guy who was like...barely doing the job at all. Failed a test shopper and was subsequently fired on the spot by corporate. Leaving main manager to have to function with this newly opened gas station with an assistant manager half-assing the job the entire way through.

Well, Void, I mean you cannot fault a guy for half-assing a job that pays shit in this economy. I mean sure fine yeah, but also like...its kind of difficult for a business to function if said assistant manager isn't ordering important things like...cleaning products, tampons, coffee for morning rush, and soda bibs correctly. So we end up with things that just do not sell? And also spent like...the beginning of their shift in the bathroom, two hours of their shift doing the wrong orders, and the rest of it getting high at the dumpster outside? Its also difficult for me to do my job of keeping the place functionally clean if we run out of cleaning products, gloves to protect me from some chemicals used to clean the pumps to keep grime, oil, and dirt from building up as well?

In any case, due to the previous person ideal to the role getting fired, he's now around for longer than necessary. Which leads to the adult drama ahead:

The barista and the assistant manager. I've told you about the assistant manager but now its time to bring in the barista. Who was a married woman with kids and also part of a JW branch. Because the assistant manager comes in at 4:30am - 1pm and the Barista kind of works as a cashier fill in after they're done stocking and cooking in the morning. The two work close together alone from 4:30am until the Barista leaves at the end of the part time shift at 9am.

She starts using this time to try and convert the assistant manager to the JW religion. But something gets crossed...and they start catching feelings for each other. The manager comes in at 9am to 5pm to work their shift and notices they none too subtly are starting to take their lunches and leave and return with one another. And then they start spending time off shift together.

I am...like...half sure adultry is frowned upon by the JW religion...as are birthdays...and any holiday but putting that aside. This woman is still very much married with near adult children and a husband.

Let me digress by saying, that eventually due to corporate's rules that two people dating cannot work together due to workplace bias. The barista discreetly quits. But the assistant manager STILL goes to his lunch really quickly and drives off in a hurry. And from time to time, the barista shows up to get gas during my graveyard shift. And the assistant manager is most definitely in the car with her.

This all comes to a weird head when the aforementioned husband, one day shows up at my work during the last hour of my shift TO TRY AND THROW DOWN WITH THE ASSISTANT MANAGER IN THE MOTHERFUCKING PARKING LOT.

Since we're in the market for a new barista, the main manager is coming in early morning. So that assistant manager is now the unofficial barista cooking in the morning. ALONG WITH. Me and the secondary graveyard and anyone else pulling up on a Monday morning to witness the spectacle.

Words at exchanged but no fists are thrown because...boy all the witnesses yeah? The husband eventually leaves and the assistant manager comes back in and is all like, "I just wanna live my life man." ...my dude you are helping a woman cheat on her husband and you're surprised the husband has decided to hunt your ass down? But you just wanna live your life and be left out of this drama you are participating in? AMAZING! PLEASE CONTINUE!

The drama does NOT stop there. Because...like...holy shit. We have a regular who comes in to buy cigarettes on a weekly to nightly basis. Now and this will become important in a second:

This man is, for lack of a better definition, the most baby boomer to ever baby boom. Think of a baby boomer man. Old? Putting on the weight? Balding? Chain smoking? Hates his wife? Very weird about his politics to a racist if not bigoted degree? This guy checks all the lists.

I bring him up because he is one of the lucky millions to be kicked out of a cushy office job meant to grant him stability and a nice comfy retirement during the seventeen recessions we had. And now works at a pizza place as a delivery driver.

You know who else works at that pizza place? The barista's daughter.

The barista's daughter is obviously caught in the middle of this clusterfucker of the assistant manager and the barista in a relationship despite the barista being married with kids. And she actually has turned to THIS MAN. AND ASKS WHY PEOPLE FALL OUT OF LOVE! This man is not qualified to give ANY ADVICE TO A YOUNG ADULT WORKING THEIR STARTER JOB AT A PIZZA DELIVERY PLACE ON WHY MARRIAGES FALL APART!

Anticlimatically, the Assistant Manager eventually leaves too because, lo and behold if you do a bad enough job at your...job. Corporate will start laying into you and eventually he leaves. Still occasionally shows up with the ex-barista to drive off somewhere together. Apparently, that entire family has now been ex-communicated from that JW branch due to what transpired. And everything gets quiet again.

So yeah that is...uhh...adult drama is fucking weird.

[hjemne]

God I've been seeing this guy and he's lovely but fucking hell it always takes an hour and a half after saying 'i think I'm about ready to call things a night' before he / i actually leave. I haven't had time to myself all day and idk I just reached a point (after spending 9 solid hours just with this guy) where I hit my social limit and wanted my fucking space back and to have some time alone before I went to sleep, but now it's midnight and he's only just left (arrived here at 1pm) and I had had enough two hours ago and now just feel so drained but also increasingly pissed off which is such a bad way of ending such a lovely afternoon

Genuine question, how do you politely say 'i like spending time with you, but also you need to leave me alone now. And when I say now, I do not mean half an hour, I mean 5 minutes max' ?

[suzieb-fit]

Saturday story time..... Haha, hey, if you choose to read my rambling posts, that's all on you 😋😂

So......diabetes fail last night. It's been at least a few days, lol, right?

I think I misjudged the carb content of the coconut "porridge" bowl I had as my last meal.

But not enough to have such a serious effect!

It was creeping higher and higher over quite a good few hours, despite several correction doses throughout that time. Then I thought it must be a faulty pump. But it did eventually start going down VERY slowly.

It was still much higher than it should be by the time I went to bed.

Then, just to add a few more laughs, I ended up with a crashing low a couple of hours into the night. So I went from 15.5 to 3.0 for no discernable reason.

Oh, the fun of type one diabetes 😂.

Anyway, even after all that nonsense, I got myself up and out for a lovely hour of fresh air, warm natural light and the medicine of movement with an hour of walking.

Only a short fast, broken with my protein decaff during that walk.

Then time for nuts and collagen coffee back at home by the big window 😊.

Oh, and yes, I've had all my hair cut off!

Got five weeks in the motorhome coming up from Monday. It's not easy washing long hair in that thing, lol. Especially over such a long period of time!

Saturday will go as it goes. No big plans. If I feel like a workout. I'll do one. If not, I won't.

After my breakfast settled, I DID feel like one, so it was medium level lower body training FTW.

Felt good. Another workout added to my "Fiton Favourites".

And then back outside for more lovely fresh air and sunlight. Amd yes, more coffee 😂.

My first was decaff, my second was a strong mixture of both decaff filter and caffeinated instant. That third was all instant, again a mixture, but not as strong.

Blood sugar nonsense like that can seriously drain you the following day. Especially such a big deviation from the high to the very low.

So, as I always advocate to others, and try to follow myself, today was all about listening to my body. The whole "take it as it comes" principle.

That's all from me today.

It's only 1pm, so that step count will be a whole lot higher by the end of the day!

We're out of here on Monday morning. A whole 5 weeks away. Staying in the motorhome.

One week still in England, then four weeks touring France.

There is a lot of work involved preparing for that.

Physical AND mental work!

It's a very long time to be away from home. It's certainly a long time to live in a small metal box on wheels, lol.

My daily routine will be very different. I have to accept and acknowledge that my usual way of life is on hold.

Hey, wouldn't it be ironic if I have a full month with no fasting, less exercise, less focus on nutrition, etc., and all my health worries go away? 😂😂. Hey, I guess I can justify this long break as an experiment to see just what DOES happen!

[piperstrangeart]

"Being neurospicy is so fashionable these days", "being neurospicy is trendy", No, being neurospicy is a pain in the butt. At 1pm today I got in my car and it wouldn't start, I tried a few things to see what the issue was but nope, didn't wanna work, so I called my breakdown people. They said it'd be a couple of hours so I went back inside. Thank goodness I broke down at home instead of a motorway.

I cannot do any things until they arrive, my brain says no things. I figured I'd play animal crossing, or do some drawing, or tidy my house, but instead I've been sitting on the sofa all day because I'm in Waiting Mode. Waiting Mode is where your brain goes into standby waiting for a phone call in case you miss it.

Their visit keeps getting delayed, it's now estimated to be here between 9pm-12am. I've been trying to play animal crossing for 5 hours. It's 6.20pm. Someone tell me brain I'm allowed to do something other than Wait for the car people to arrive, otherwise today has been a complete write off 🥲

[fuck1ng-queen]

for those who don't know, here in brazil the manicure service is relatively cheap, and that's why it's very very common for people to pay for the service, especially at christmas. i work as a manicurist, and I've been working for 11 days without a day off, 12 hours a day, and I still have 4 more days to go. you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to my holidays in january, i'm going to wake up at 1pm every day.