#It was a really fucked up dream
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holy crap my dream last night was disturbing
#I was a girl. In high school. I went to a corner store with three friends#I locked the door and killed my friends and the cashier#Freaked the fuck out wondering why I did that#What really scares me is one of the friends was my friend in real life like shit Cole wtf did you do#rambles#I ended up killing 8 total people the police investigated me and decided I was innocent#And as I was walking home I saw this guy kidnap someone so I stalked him#Befriended the girl who got kidnapped’s family and helped the mom save the girl#Eventually ended up confessing my crimes to the mom#She agreed not to report me because I saved her daughter#Kidnapper tried to get revenge on me and trapped me in his freezer but the police came#I convinced someone mothman was real???#At one point the kidnapper and I were on a bus with the girl and her dad. Everyone on the bus got killed somehow#It was a really fucked up dream
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Eden was their ✨disney princess era✨
#it's canon#source: it was revealed to me in a dream#aziraphale being good with reptiles was all part of the ineffable plan#crowley is having the time of his life here#my only regret is that I forgot to include a baby aardvark#but I put ducklings there instead#aardvarks will have to wait#btw the snake aziraphale is holding is my pet snake that died in 2020#my poor precious baby she was such a sweetheart#she liked to knock the thermometer off the glass and hide it#I was supposed to draw like an ordinary garter snake there buuut#it's MY silly doodle and I get to do what the heck I want with it 👁️👁️#lmao crowley's brain is really malfunctioning here#guys he's a demon the creature of darkness foul fiend devil serpent#guys he can't get up the lamb is sleeping#somebody save him#there are vicious animals#and she's exp-#*JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW AND FLIES AWAY*#hey where the fuck is the gecko going#aziraphale#good omens fanart#crowley#aziracrow#good omens#ineffable husbands
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ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...
the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin
this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.
you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.
also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.
⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!
⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app
#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go#its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush#i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think#hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc#grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway#there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth#you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that.#actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally)#origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun#esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc#generic medieval tag#original tag
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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Why did One kidnap Leafy, huh?
#tpot#one tpot#bfdi firey#bfdi leafy#very subtle fireafy (not really that subtle lol)#bfdi#the power of two#battle for dream island#my art#digital art#fanart#maple's art#artists on tumblr#comic#ok but seriously what happened to leafy in bfdia is so fucked i always end up thinking about it#my poor girl...
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You turn on the light.
#the owl house#toh#toh promo#watching and dreaming#luz noceda#amity blight#lumity#the collector#EIGHT HOURS. A SOLID THREE SPENT SOLELY ON TWEAKING COMPOSITION AND COLOR BALANCE UGH.#I really wanted a Catholic stained glass window vibe for this one#but I didn't like the look of black outlines on everything for a real stained glass aesthetic.#Also first time coloring in CMYK (i thought I might want to print it) and man it is a headache.#Before I'd just color in RGB and go fuck it whatever happens happens but it's time to grow up... it's time to learn how to do it right#so yeah my signature colors aren't there! because cmyk is the devil! but it looks nice anyway I think.#So excited to see how this all ends I want weirdos to stick together soso bad
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👑
#ta-da! super high-effort comic for you#what do you think?#...im aware i fucked up the back of his head in panel 5. by the time i realized i couldn't be bothered to fix it.#oh well! i'm still really happy with everything else. the storyboarding; the line art; the colors; the BACKGROUNDS; my lettering.#some of my best work!#kirby series#magolor#kirby#kirby's return to dream land#krtdl#panic's favorites
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nostalgia slapped me upside the head a little while ago so i had to draw my favorite dudes ft. the gecko effect
#wild kratts#chris kratt#martin kratt#okay the tokay :)#all my rat#i was gonna do more but i got distracted with another project (fish) so this one's going up by itself.. i wanna draw some cps soon tho#i was obsessed with wk as a kid#i reeeaaallllyyy wanted a creature power suit i even wished for one for christmas one year#this shit was the original formative media for me#it was the source of all of my concentrated righteous indignation about animals that i kinda never grew out of#anyways wild kratts is like really good#realistic (not sensationalized!!!!) depictions of animals‚ fun characters and plots‚ great animation‚ banging music‚ like it's STACKED#ive been rewatching it recently because why not and i keep getting excited when i see animals i really like#you know there's a cannon FLOUNDER power suit???!! that's a fucking dream come true for me i love that so much#daphnia keep making cameos in a lot of the ocean episodes and every time i point at the screen and go DAPHNIA like a 5 year old#i'm just happy my favorite microorganism is getting some screentime
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best friends
#my art#if theres one thing any form of canon sapnap will do its have fucked up doomed relationships#poor sapito cannot catch a break#c!sapnap#c!dream#dsmp#dsmp fanart#dtblr#you cant really tell thats cdream which is like#kinda the point#but maybe i shouldve made it more readable anyways#oops
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Headcannon that postcannon Charles doesnt like leaving Edwin alone for long streches of time.
You know the way he did in the beggining of the show, leaving Edwin alone so that Charles could be with Crystal or just giving Edwin space to be with other people(Monty or Niko). I think post-Hell Charles Rowland would feel uneasy about not having Edwin in his line of sight while at the same time not wanting to make a big deal out of it.
Like how in the last episode Edwin is alone and Charles leaves others to pack so he could check up on Edwin, that sort of thing. Or how he was hessitent to follow Crystals plan at first becouse he has to rescue(see) Edwin ( to me it also looks like Charles was so busy rushing to Edwin he didnt noitice Nikos body but that might just be me)
Anyways i think it would be a fun direction to take Charles's characther in. Considering in s1 he is already weary of Edwin spending time with the Cat King, youd get that whole jealousy thing but doubled and mixed in with his feeling of inadequacy as the brawn. But also s1 establishes Charles as being at least partially insecure about their bond: having to correct Edwin whenever Edwin says how Charles would move on quickly and constanty seeking reassurment from edwin about their friendship (ep 1 when he asks what would happen if death came, ep 4 with his fight with the night nurse, seeing Brad and Hunter the best friends as him and Edwin)
And then you also have the reversal of how Edwin was jealous of Charles spending lots of times with Crystal and now Charles is protesting every second Edwin isnt with him. And ofcourse Charles does it from a place of fear and love but Edwin would maybe interpret it the wrong way, who knows?
And, from what the writers have told us, Edwin in s2 spent at least some amount of time flirting with other men (hopefully without Charles lurking in the background) and from what we know from that one cameo Jayden and George did, there was a lot of tension between the boys...
Now im not a writer i didnt write the s2 script or anything, im not saying this is what would have happened in s2 but.... i think the tension might have come from that. From Charles seeing Hell as a traumatic expirience and his PTSD manifesting as his insistence on Edwin not leaving his side, Charles's insecurities and his fear of losing Edwin being at an all time high. While Edwin, who has learnd how to forget Hell, is acting as if nothing happened at all, exploring his sexuality and making new friends in the process.
It would make Charles confront all of the skeletons he's been hiding in the closet but also it would ask the simple question of why is Charles so insecure in their friendship? Why is he constantly mentioning them being best mates? Why does he need it so much? Why is he constantly searching from reassurences that they are best friends?
And for more angst, from Edwins point of view he is doing everything Charles wanted him to do in s1. Hes accepting and letting the dead boy detectives workplace to grow and change, he is being more open and friendlier, he is encouraging Charles friendship/relationship with Crystal and he is no longer playing trauma Olympics at the drop of a hat. So why is Charles so mad? Hes working through his shame and his supiriority complex, hes growing as a person and Charles is still stuck at the staircase.
#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#charles x edwin#payneland#headcanon#just a headcanon#also i think it would resolve a lot of cryland too#and i do think charles is very insecure about their friendships#but i already have a lengthy post about it#if you pair up this headcannon and my headcannon that Edwin and cat king have sex in that wonky time dimension#and edwin dissapears for 2 days#then what you have is a plot to a really funny but heartwrenching episode#we were robbed#fuck you netflix#not saying this is what would have happened in s2 but yk a girl can dream
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I just know Gaz is so fucking good at rock climbing. He's just built perfectly for it, he's got the endurance, the flexibility, the grip, the core strength, the agility, the arm spread, he's not too bulky and heavy like Soap or Ghost, his height gives him quite a lot of advantages (even though sometimes there are trails for us hobbits, but mostly being tall helps). Price could probably give him a run for his money, but since I headcanon that Price has seriously fucked up his spine and joints, especially in his fingers, he might be held back by this. Also I feel like Kyle has the best endurance out of all four of them, so he does extremely well on the long ones. He's also got that magical ability to be able to take a rest at the tiniest little handle, like literally catches himself with two toes and a pinch on a non-existent bump in the rock and relaxes as if he's lounging on a beach, all muscles resting before the upcoming difficult few meters.
Also he's one of those who will climb even in slippers, just because he gotta flex like that.
No I'm not drooling over his fingers wrapped in that tape in places where he ripped calluses off, you are.
Also this was induced by a SoapGaz thought where Gaz runs Soap through some intensive training on the climbing walls and enjoys the view of all that muscle bulk flexing and rippling as Soap struggles to find his balance and makes mistakes in dispersing his weight which limits his reach. He's so tense, he can barely slur his Scottish nonsense out, sweat streaming down the dip of his spine and soaking his tank top through.
When he finally falls of the wall after reaching the top handle, his fingers are shaking and he needs Kyle's help to untie the harness knot. Wipes his forehead, leaving a white streak of magnesia stuck to the wet skin, and huffs and grumbles about how he'll still beat Kyle's PR one day.
Gaz won't let him, of course. But he won't stop Johnny from trying either, because after that he gets to massage all those sore muscles Soap didn't even know existed, and listen to him groan as he shamelessly leaks into his boxers. Because why wouldn't Soap get off the post-gym muscle strain, really. And why wouldn't Gaz enjoy watching him get painfully hard and sensitive from barely sexual touch, exploding into his mouth as soon as Kyle wraps his lips around Soap's tip.
#juju's grumbles#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#soap x gaz#gaz x soap#soapgaz#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod#call of duty#listen i just really wanna go rock climbing again#this shit makes me feel so alive#and i just know gaz would volunteer as a trainer for kids groups in his local rock climbing club#also the one i am going to has this old man who has one arm amputated up to the elbow#BEST FUCKING CLIMBER IN THE CLUB#he's literally a beast i've seen him climb the 15 meters wall in seconds#also tatted up and wears a bandana and has like long white hair#i have such a crush on him#he's a trainer and i want to work with him so bad but also i know i'll embarrass myself#and my level is just really pathetic#so i just drool in my weakling corner as i watch him casually do the shit i can't even dream of with all my limbs intact
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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my takeaway from natla is that og atla zuko is hot topic flavored gay and natla zuko is barbie flavored gay
#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#natla zuko really does give YOU RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL#thinking of natla as a weird fanfic that occasionally has some oddly clever ideas#but drops the ball pretty often#makes it a lot of fun#spoilers below#we fucking died when it was revealed that jet was going to actually blow up the mechanist and bumi#like its so bizarre and weird and hilarious#even typing it out i cant believe thats a real thing#we're only on episode 3 and i'm excited to see the other wacky shenanigans#natla#natla spoilers
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Madoka is the promise you won't turn from a child, full of hopes and dreams and the wish to save the world, into a bitter adult who just wants to hurt others and ruin people's lives
Madoka promised to be there for you to remind you of the person you wanted to be and to stop you from becoming what you sought to destroy
Madoka made that promise and became the very embodiment of it
#Moon posting#Feeling emotional about Madoka Magica all out of the blue and I'm making it your problem#IDK I saw a video in my YT reccs ranking Doremi toys and I really enjoyed it (sadly can't remember who it was)#So I went to check what other content the person had made and they had recently-ish done a blind reaction to Madoka#Didn't watch the whole thing just The Good Shit at like double speed (it was completely uncut and I wasn't in the mood for a full rewatch)#And god. The way the fucking ending to this series still makes me fucking sob like a baby EVEN WHEN WATCHING AT DOUBLE SPEED#I dunno what to tell you I really like that series. Like I just do. Madoka is Good Actually#IDK I feel like everyone has a lot of Opinions about the series and all I can say is that y'all are wrong and don't understand it#MADOKA ISN'T ABOUT BEING EDGY GRIMDARK TORTURE PORN!!! IT'S ABOUT HOPE!! AND DREAMS!! AND NOT GIVING UP!!#Y'all remember that post about how sometimes if you need to imagine Naruto encouraging you to help you get out of bed and brush your teeth#Then you imagine that dattebayo#And that is literally what Madoka is.#Except instead of self-care Madoka is there to stop you from being a toxic little dickweed and be nice to others#Sometimes you need to stop and ask: Would Madoka do that? Would Madoka say that? Would she be proud of me right now?#Don't ask me why I'm posting this it is 5 am I should be in bed man
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Chapter 7 spoilers
Diasomnia Episode ● 7 - 53
#twst spoilers#twst chapter 7#twst book 7#diasomnia#malleus draconia#silver twst#the information that malleus is omnipresent in every dream and watching everyone got me a bit fucked up ngl#i love it#when when the character based on the mistress of all evil is actuallu being evil *vine boom sfx*#i dont really like how the second panel looks 💀me when i try to make perspective and die#myart
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#spinda#AAAHHHH YES!!! our belovèd spinda. from their café!!! probably one of my favorite minor characters from pmd sky#whom i don't even think was in the original explorers games. i think spinda's café was exclusive to sky. if i'm remembering correct#ly. or maybe that was shaymin village. i know shaymin village was for sure but maybe it was just that and not both of them. either way#have a delicious drink and allow the flower of conversation to bloom! i could quote spinda all day. he had “hopes and dreams” before toby#ever did. THAT'S ALSO like i had no idea what spinda's pronouns were. i kept trying to figure it out because i talked about him quite a lot‚#but no one in game ever talked about him. to mention his pronouns? turns out. there's ONE line of dialogue where the post office fucker in#shaymin village mentions him and calls him a he. i think that's the only time spinda is referred to in the third person with a pronoun#i believe it's when they're talking about like. how you can send gifts or whatever and pick up the characters' responses at spinda's café#which is still a really fucking good feature. of any video game. SEE WHAT I MEAN spinda and their café is just an incredibly good Thing#it's to the point where my home wifi network is named “Spinda's Café Wi-Fi” because i love it so much. so if you're ever runnin around#and you see a wifi network by that name… it might be me! you never know! or… it could be the real deal. the real spinda's café is somewhere#nearby…! ugh. i wish. i would go there immediately#not even to mention all the other shit about this pokémon that's really good. like that they never walk in straight lines or whatever#their little dance. it's just. huUGHKLJKAHJVDHJHDAJSVGD i love spinda. a nice pick-me-up after the underwhelmingness that was grumpig#shake it this way… shake it that way… and stir it all around… and it's done!
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