#It really allows me to take my time to reread and add details

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Back on my analysis nonsense but not quite awake enough to write a full essay right now so please enjoy this snippet of analysis about Inej, language, and the word “girl”. It’s all stuff I’ve talked about before but I haven’t given it’s own post before and I’ve been rereading some of my old stuff to get back in the mindset so I thought I’d bring this back up because I find it really interesting - I’m also really hoping to write the post about Fruszi that I’ve been planning on doing for basically since season 2 came out tomorrow or at least very soon so hopefully that won’t be too long

Inej Ghafa, Language, and the Word “Girl”

⚠️As always in my analyses, constant spoilers ahead!! 🖤

⚠️I’m going to talk about Inej’s trauma and her ptsd, and this post will also possibly include references to the other characters’ trauma and ptsd as well

Hi okay it’s been a while since we did this and I realise it’s probably the reason most of you follow me so sorry about that but let’s jump right in - I often say it’s after midnight and I’m thinking about Soc so let’s talk but today I actually have to say it’s almost midnight and I’m thinking about Six of Crows, so let’s talk: Inej’s internalised misunderstanding of the Kerch word for “girl”.

In the Bathroom Scene during Crooked Kingdom (which I have a full analysis posted of if anyone would like to read it; I can tag you or you can follow the link in my pinned post), we see Inej at the point she allows herself to be most vulnerable with another character. I think we forget this because we know much more about it than they do, but the other Crows know very little about what Inej went through at the Menagerie - Kaz himself in that very scene describes having “the barest inkling of what she’d endured there” - and previously when we’ve learnt anything about her experiences they have mostly been through flashbacks that Inej experienced during other events of the book. On the boat to Fjerda, in the surgeon’s cabin with Nina, Inej battles with flashbacks and insists Nina sing to her and teach her the chorus of the song to try and distract herself - Nina of course knows that something is going on, but only the reader is actually told what’s happening in Inej’s head - and when she has a flashback at Sweet Reef (the man who smelled of vanilla) she’s alone until Dunyasha arrives. This scene with Kaz is really the only time we see her express herself and, as openly as she can, attempt to speak about some extent of what she went through out loud. I’ve dissected a lot of what she says in this scene in the past and formed theories about it before, but I haven’t talked as much about this quote:

“Tante Heleen wasn’t always cruel”

After this introduction she goes on to explain the emotional abuse and manipulation that Heleen put her through, going so far as to specify that because endearment became something akin to danger she flinched the first time Nina hugged her, and she also mentions in the scene that sometimes when Jesper puts his arm around her she feels like she’s going to vanish. This particular description of Heleen has very strong parallels to descriptions of Van Eck’s abuse of Wylan, and though I don’t want to go into that in too much detail now bc I’ve talked about it before and how their parallels are what create a lot of the Wylan/Inej parallels I do think that it’s a relevant thing to mention as I bridge into the next quote I want to bring up; when Van Eck takes Inej captive and is claiming that he has treated her like this because this is what he know her to expect from her life experiences, she internally comments that he sounds like Heleen and we get a memory of this quote:

“Why do you make me do these things? You bring these punishments on yourself, girl”.

This obviously had very strong links to the way Van Eck abuses Wylan and teaches him to actively blame himself, which I’ve talked about in the last, but I also want to add that it’s so interesting when we see Heleen call Inej “girl” because she very rarely uses terms that don’t actively dehumanise her/any of the other children at the Menagerie. Of course the use of the epithet is still a big part of the way Inej was denied identity at the Menagerie, remember she audibly sobbed when Kaz said her real name out loud the night she left, but it doesn’t necessarily hold the same immediate, discomforting effect that other epithets Heleen uses, such as “little Lynx” (actively diminishing and dehumanising Inej whilst using an oxymoronic phrase to effectively imply that she is a tamed animal and even though she should be able to fight free she never will. As a side note linked to this, the word “little” is often used derogatorily towards Inej, most obviously by Heleen and Van Eck and most notably when she breaks his nose and he shouts “you little wretch! You little whore!” and she replies “go on Van Eck, tell me all the little things I am”). But I would actually argue that when Heleen uses the word “girl”, she intends it with all the same dehumanisation as she does “Lynx”.

Throughout Inej’s experiences in the duology, the word “girl” is used almost exclusively in two ways: 1) as an insult, 2) possessively. Whenever the children at the Menagerie are referred to as “girls” it is always in a possessive context, for example these quotes are the Ice Court Heist when Inej is wearing the Lynx silks:

“… in front of her girls”

“Your girl will be returned to you”

“Where is my girl?”

“That is not my girl”

And this is an ongoing theme throughout the books. However, the idea is most obviously presented in a quote by Inej herself, and this is where it quite truly breaks my heart:

“not really people, not even really girls.”

Okay I'm really tired and this post is already longer than I was planning so from this point forth everything in the quotation marks is directly taken from another post where I talked more briefly about this:

' As if “girls” and “people” are two separate entities. As if “girls” are not human. This is the language and the attitude that she was surrounded by at the Menagerie and is still surrounded by in the city, and what was forced upon her throughout her experiences in the country. But you know what else might be a genuinely horrifying little detail of this????? Inej may have actually taught herself that the words “people” and “girls” are not synonymous. Because when Inej was brought to Kerch she wasn’t fluent in the language, she spoke some of it and quickly learnt the rest through circumstance, so if this was the way she heard Kerch people use the word “girl” this is how she would internalise the definition of it. I hope this makes sense I’m not sure if I’m relating my thoughts very clearly, it’s kind of like how Matthias was forced to learn Kerch because he was in a Kerch prison so he doesn’t know words that would easily come to him in Fjerdan, like the snow goggles, but instead of simply having gaps Inej has actually learnt a false grammar system that defines “girl” as a dehumanising term because it means someone who is less than or someone who is property. '

I feel like I might have had something to add but if I did then I have forgotten it; if it return to me in the morning then I will return to add it but for now I am going to bid you all goodnight. Thank you for reading these mad ramblings and I hope they made some semblance of sense and/or were interesting <33

⚠️This is a theory and this is my personal literary interpretation; I am not saying that this is an intentional choice made by Leigh Bardugo, though it may be I have no idea, and I am not saying that you have to agree with me. Literary analysis is not about presenting one definitive answer, and if you have either differing interpretations or further points you’d like to add then please do as I would love to read them! <3

[cantareincminor]

Round 2: Fandom Wrapped (Writer Edition) 2024!

Thanks again to @kattyelf for the template. A blank one can be found at @twiyorbase for anyone who wants to do their own!

Detailed reflections under the cut.

This is a long, introspective post. Forgive me if I sound self-absorbed in all this reflection.

The past year has been a unique one. The last long fic I completed was more than ten years ago in the Aladdin fandom. I dabbled in shorter, more stream-of-consciousness fics after that, but hadn’t written or posted a fic since 2016. Then I got into Spy x Family in 2022, devoured tons of fics, and slowly, nervously considered writing again.

There were many reasons I stopped writing. Being busy with real life responsibilities, naturally. I got married and had kids. I had a highly stressful career. With so little time on my hands, I feared that if I tried to write after such a long hiatus, the result would be stilted and disappointing, and I would have “wasted” my precious free time feeling shittier about myself. I’ve had some version of this mindset my entire life: if I can’t do something well, then I shouldn’t bother.

I have @whateversawesome to thank for encouraging me to try my hand at writing again. After the mole hunt arc was published, an idea struck me quite suddenly—what if Yuri had died or been critically injured in Shellbury? How would Twilight deal with that guilt and how would the identity reveals unfurl in such an extreme scenario? Could Yor ever forgive him? 

For months I shied away from writing it. To do the idea justice, I knew it would have to be a long, complex fic. And I continued to have mixed feelings about my last long fic in the Aladdin fandom—regretting parts of the premise and the ship dynamics and the characterizations and just overall feeling ashamed about my writing. I didn’t want to fail—write myself into a corner and abandon the fic or something like that. Right now, on the other end, I still look back on Orpheus sometimes and wonder how the hell I managed to write it. I reread my favorite passages and wonder how I came up with those exact words.

If it may help any writers, I would be happy to share a copy of my brainstorming doc and outline of Orpheus, where I kept track of unresolved plot points, options to resolve those plot points, notes to self to go back and add foreshadowing, and calling out unexpected events in each chapter that I did not plan ahead for. It is a very long doc. But I wanted to remember everything I was thinking at the time as a gift to my future self, in case I ever attempt a big project like this again and feel paralyzed.

Orpheus allowed me to explore themes and beliefs I suppose have been marinating in my heart for years. For anyone who is still interested, below are some of my thoughts and personal experiences around the main themes.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness and redemption are always what I reach for in my serious fics. I think I fumbled it in my Aladdin fic (or didn’t really get to the redemption part), but I was able to explore it more thoroughly and with more integrity in Orpheus, with an additional decade of life experience. 

I think forgiveness is a difficult and fascinating theme to handle because it is so highly personal and often carries memories of deep hurt for ‘victims’ or shame for ‘perpetrators’. I was grateful when readers sometimes shared their personal beliefs and experiences with it in their comments. In order to treat this theme with respect, I wanted to convey that forgiveness should not come cheaply. That is not to say it’s bad to be merciful and quick to forgive—those are amazing virtues. But the act of forgiveness comes at a cost and can be incredibly painful. The cost does not simply vanish due to good feelings or an act of the will.

Someone can either withhold forgiveness and make the other person pay the cost—in Orpheus, this would have been Yor rejecting or taking revenge on Twilight and leaving him to feel horribly guilty about Yuri’s injury for the rest of his life. Or they can choose to forgive and pay the cost themselves. In my own experience it feels physically painful. It feels like extreme grief. This is what I wanted to portray, the devastation to the spirit, as well as the catharsis that can follow. Because after the cost is paid, what we gain is healing. The ability to move on and no longer feel like we’ve swallowed glass. And the mending of a relationship, if both sides are willing. In the case of Yor and Twilight, it makes their relationship even stronger, like a broken bone healing stronger than before. And it adds weight to the trials they would face together after that moment.

Forgiveness of self / Perfectionism

Of all the conflicts in the fic, “Twilight vs. himself” is the last one to be resolved. Even after the man has been forgiven by the people he loves, he still struggles not to hate himself. To find his life to hold any value outside of being a highly competent spy. I think many people go through some version of this struggle. I certainly did and still do sometimes, with regards to work and career.

I chose Orpheus as the title to illustrate the journey of someone who carries an enormous burden on their shoulders. Trying to save the person they love and having to follow a strict rule of never turning around or they will lose it all. All the while, the temptation to look back is incredibly powerful. Twilight bears the burden of WISE’s expectations as their top spy, the hero who has stopped nuclear missile launches, who will supposedly prevent the next war from breaking out. He also carries the expectations of his newfound family which call him to turn away from the ruthlessness of his mission. To look back at them, and not abandon them for the sake of world peace. And finally he carries the guilt of what happened to Yuri, and the pain of keeping all the secrets resulting from Shellbury.

In Orpheus, Twilight harbors both a very low sense of self-worth as well as a highly inflated sense of self-importance. He sees himself as a discardable tool who has done unforgivable things for his missions, with no right to love and be loved. But at the same time he sees himself as the lynchpin to maintaining the fragile geopolitical peace. Responsible for never screwing up, ever. Responsible for the fact Yuri was shot, even though he tried his best to spare him. He’s an unreliable, self-absorbed narrator, and the other characters around him also parrot his guilt back at him throughout most of the fic. Until the end, where I try to address the illusion of control and how a good portion of his guilt is unrealistic and undeserved. 

Unfortunately for many people who carry this kind of burden, no one tells us that it’s okay to turn around. That we are indeed not responsible for more than our own choices, and we certainly cannot be responsible for circumstances outside of our control. I’ve worked jobs where I’ve been asked to do the impossible. My first job out of college, the expectations were incredibly high. I got no training and was thrown into a project in a foreign language and an unfamiliar industry. I pulled so many late nights that in the second week I fainted on the way to the office. And I was told this was normal. That in order to succeed like everyone else, I would figure out a way to solve each problem thrown at me, no matter how impossible.

And what sucks is when you start succeeding. You pull off miracle after miracle and then people start expecting it of you like it’s normal. The reward for success isn’t a break. It’s more work. Harder work. And you buy into that unrealistic narrative that you should be able to do it or something must be wrong with you, you must be broken and can’t perform like you used to. And when you finally break, you get spit out and discarded like an outdated machine. They find the next, younger miracle worker to buy into the narrative.

Knowledge vs Wisdom

This is an easier one. Funny that Twilight’s agency is called WISE in canon. But what is wisdom? The ability to discern between right and wrong, to utilize knowledge effectively for the greater good, to know how to truly live life and live it well. 

Twilight strikes me as the kind of person who uses knowledge as a weapon, not too dissimilarly to Yuri who literally states “knowledge is power.” Twilight hoards knowledge like building an arsenal, so he can always be prepared for any problem. And this is how nations treat knowledge (intel) in the real world. Constantly trying to gain an information advantage on the enemy. 

But how does one know if one’s strategy to use all that knowledge is right? In Orpheus, the Ostanian state exhibits little wisdom in its pursuit of endless knowledge, experimenting on children and prisoners and animals to gain an edge over its rivals and amass more power for those at the top. At the same time the competition and backstabbing between the various arms of the state are almost childish in their motivations, the epitome of foolishness. Knowledge on its own does not build trust or confidence—but it can build hubris and confusion and distrust. 

One unexpectedly fun part of writing Orpheus was the dynamics between Garden and WISE. While there is distrust at the start, the leaders and members of both sides demonstrate wisdom in how they navigate the partnership and grant trust to each other bit by bit. And this feels very counterintuitive to spies who build careers off of lies and masks, as they find that truthfulness can unlock results so much faster than subterfuge. At least when it comes to dealing with Garden.

On a final note on this topic, I find it interesting that in canon Donovan Desmond claims it is impossible to know what other people are thinking and therefore human beings can never trust each other. And yet the highest form of knowledge (second only to knowing God), in my opinion, is to truly know another person to the depth of their soul. To know a person completely, and to trust and love them regardless. This is what all people yearn for, even people like Twilight who have made a fortress of masks around their true self. And this kind of knowledge is what requires deep wisdom to wield well.

Sigmund Authen’s gift of the Tree of Life plaque and the accompanying wisdom quote was an unexpected event I did not plan in my outline for Chapter 33. So was Barbara’s advice to Yor in Chapter 34, which I will end this long ramble with:

Before the two left, Barbara turned and patted Yor’s arm. “I know what it’s like to be married to a brilliant man, dear. Don’t feel discouraged. They don’t need their brilliance and worldly achievements so much as they need our love. I know it can be exhausting sometimes, but I’ve stuck by my Siggy this long through thick and thin. What he didn’t mention amidst all that blather about wisdom is that even wisdom isn’t the final goal of all of mankind’s striving. Love is. What is a life full of wisdom and philosophy if it doesn’t help you find love and keep it? In my simple little mind, that’s what wisdom is for. Goodnight, dear. Thank you for having us over.”

And that's a wrap for my 2024!

[witchin-y-bitchin]

Read the Signs

It’s high time that I share my thoughts on signs, something I’ve been meaning to do for literal years now. With this blog I’m going to go over signs: what they are, how to recognize them, and how to interpret them.

This is definitely information that beginners need to know, but it’s a help refresher for intermediates as well.

First of all, what is a sign? A sign is an event that occurs to a person from an external and often metaphysical source. They can be messages sent by Angels, deities, the Universe, ancestors, or any other spirit or entity. Signs can be requested by a physical individual or they can be sent without any initial warning at the entity’s discretion. Signs generally have some kind of message that may have a deep or shallow meaning. That message could be as simple as “hey, I’m here” or as detailed as “you need to do x and y in order to z.”

So how do you know if something is actually a sign? The special thing about signs is that they are personal. Often times when you are sent a sign, you will know it is a sign right when you see it. Signs are meant to be out of the ordinary so you are able to know immediately that a message is being sent to you. Yes, crows are often seen as a sign or omen of some sort, but not every crow you see is a sign from the Morrigan, for example. Especially if you live in an area where crows are common place. If you see a sign, you will often know immediately that that’s what it is. This isn’t to say you’ll know immediately what it means, but you will know that this is something you need to pay attention to.

Another special thing about signs is that they will happen repeatedly until you get the message. This can occur on those occasions in which you don’t realize that something is a sign right away and need some extra help (also see: repeated slaps in the face until you get the idea /j). The general rule is “twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern.” There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking it’s a good idea to start paying attention after something specific happens three times. Once again, take note and reflect.

When you are sent a sign, you’re going to need to take note of it and reflect. You don’t want to turn to the first witchy message board and ask “what does this mean?” No one else is going to be able to tell you what a sign means to you. They are very personal. With that being said, sometimes it can be helpful to ask for a second opinion, but this is really only best done through someone who knows you well and is also spiritual, through a trusted reader (as a blanket statement), or through other personal stories from folks with similar experiences that might spark some inspiration. Even after getting another opinion, however, you still must do some deep personal reflection to find the right answer for you.

Sometimes common signs from certain entities may be specific to them. Fully intact feathers in odd places are common signs from Angels, for instance, and owls are well known symbols of Athena. If you don’t already know these types of specific correspondences it may be helpful to do some research. Research is important! Just remember that personal reflection is always the backbone of understanding signs. This reflection can look like different things to different people. This, once again, is a personal process. Allow me to describe how I generally go about it to give you an idea…

When I am sent a sign or am asking for extra insight and am gifted with that, I first like to write down what happened with as much detail as I can. Then I will practice some deep breathing to calm and clear my mind. Then I will think about what occurred and replay the experience in my mind. As I play it over again I try to see it all with a fresh perspective. Then I will reread what I wrote and as I read I’ll jot down any ideas that came to mind. After this, I generally find some new insight that adds to my understanding of the sign.

This is only my personal process and it will look very different for different practitioners, but it is important to find some kind of process of self reflection that works for you.

A lot of practitioners can see magick in everyday life. This is a great thing that can to your quality of life. However, there does need to be a balance. Some folks forget to consider the mundane and assume that every experience outside of the norm is some kind of sign. I see this problem with beginners especially. It is important to always consider the idea that a coincidence may be just that: a coincidence. It’s helpful to always stop and think about an event as completely mundane. Consider the physical explanations as to why something is happening rather than jumping to the conclusion that the answer must be metaphysical in nature. After you’ve done this, if you still can’t figure out a reasonable and logical explanation as to why or how something has happened, then it might be time to consider a possible magickal force at play. But remember: if it is truly a sign, you’ll either know right away or it will happen so much that it becomes impossible to ignore.

I know that a single post isn’t going to magically fix the issue of folks coming into witchy spaces asking others to do the work of deciphering signs for them, but hopefully it reminds folks that there’s a bit more that goes into reading signs than just a quick snip it of an experience and prior knowledge on mythology and folktales.

I don’t write this to call anyone out or complain about these post, but I do think it’s important to do the work. That’s how we learn and progress on our unique paths. We’ve all been the person asking others for help, I know I have, so let’s have patience with those still learning. The more merrier. I for one am glad to see beginners around helping to keep magick alive.

Thanks for reading!

[spacejammie-eimmajecaps]

For the fanfic writing meme...YOU pick 10 numbers YOU want to answer! I want to see which ones of those most excite your or you have the most to say.

My attention span is horrible right now tbh, I couldn't even read through the whole list. So these are the 10 that stood out to me when I was skimming it over:

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

One-shots because they are quick and easy (for the most part). Multi-chaps take so much more effort. Although, multi-chaps are more satisfying to finish. Pros and cons with each. I do miss one-shots, though. Been a very long time since I've written one.

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

I used to only write as I went, which was honestly so fun. I'd surprise myself with unintended plot twists and stuff like that. But now I plan ahead, and that's very necessary for a story like SGB, which is very long, detailed, and packed with subplots. I will say, though, that while there is a plan, I let the chapter change as needed if the plan isn't working or I think of something better while drafting, and sometimes I add scenes last minute (or cut entire scenes if it just doesn't feel like it's working). Having a plan is good, knowing when to be flexible is also good.

Do you like constructive criticism?

Depends on what that looks like.

If someone wants to point out a typo, I'll be appreciative (and I do actually have a fandom friend who used to message me when she found typos in my posted works, which I am grateful for). And if there is an obvious mistake, I don't mind it being pointed out (for example, I was messing up the serve order in games and someone very kindly pointed that out, so I fixed it, and I'm very happy that they pointed it out so that I didn't keep making that mistake).

But if someone said things like, "I don't like how you wrote that" or "that character would never do that" or "you should write that differently" or anything relating to like, personal preference, I'd be annoyed and not grateful at all.

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

I used to be able to bang out 10-12k words in a day, back when my health wasn't so bad. Granted, the quality of those 10-12k words wasn't great at all, and part of why I write slower now is because I'm thinking about a lot more technical aspects that I used to be unaware of. Anyway, these days I can maybe get 3k written on a very good day, but 500-1000 in a day is more realistic for me now.

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Take a break, read books and watch shows, rest, re-read what I've already written, etc.

What’s your revision or editing process like?

1. Rough draft

2. Fill in details and missing elements

3. Focus setting/sensory details and add last minute details

4. Check that dialogue/body language matches each character (usually end up adding a few more little details as well)

5. Make sure the chapter as a whole makes sense, cut anything unnecessary, check for consistency

6. Proofreading (check line by line for typos and grammar issues)

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

There are some fics I like to re-read maybe once a year or so, and sometimes I read a fic twice in a row if I really liked it. I'd probably re-read things much more frequently if I wasn't so busy writing.

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Hopefully not still writing SGB😭😭😭

Why do you continue writing fics?

Because I'm bored and have nothing better to do, and more importantly, because I enjoy it.

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

Chronological. I have to use my favorite scenes as a reward for getting that far in the story, so I don't allow myself to skip ahead.

[theaistired]

It has also been a while since I've been in school, but I am currently at university, so I am going to share some things that I found helpful/struggled with during both school and university. I didn't know or even suspect that I was autistic during school, I started to suspect it about two years ago, and it has only been the working diagnosis in therapy for about 7 months. I am also going to include some things that I have seen a classmate doing during school, who is autistic and also has higher support needs than me (I don't have contact to them anymore, otherwise I would have asked for their input directly).

Organizing

Always keep your timetable ready. I had both a big one printed out that was hanging in the kitchen (of both my parents and grandparents), another big one at my desk and another small one that I had in my pencil case.

During my last three years we were handed out overviews of the term that listed when tests/exams were going to be. I always marked down when I wanted to start studying for those.

In my last year I also started a detailed plan to study for my Abi (the final exams in Germany). I made an overview for when I wanted to hit certain milestones and I also made a day by day plan that listed when I was going to do what.

Organize your notes/homeworks and so on, try figuring out what works for you (binder, designated notebooks, colour coordination etc.). Always add the date and the topic of the day in your notes so you can keep track of it later.

Pack your things the evening before. That way you don't have to rush, hurry and worry about packing and forgetting things the next morning.

Have a small notebook or planner where you can write out homework assignments for every subject and if necessary, when they are due.

Have a small notebook for important things that you need to tell your parents, or things that are important for administration and stuff like that.

2. Studying

Do your homework early. I always did my homework after coming home from school and always finished it completly. If necessary, you can of course split it over several days, but what is done is done and you don't need to worry about it anymore.

Ask for help when stuck, either friends/classmates, parents/relatives, teachers/tutors, internet... There is no shame in that.

Both doing your homework on the same day as well as rereading what you did during school that day will help you when it comes to studying for tests and exams later. The information will already have a better hold in your brain, so you will be able to participate in class the next day and won't have to be as stressed when it comes to studying later.

Start studying early. Even if it is just five minutes of looking things up.

When you want/need to study for a longer period of time, look up different techniques for that and try which one works best for you. I personally have found the Pomodoro technique really helpful. You study for circa 30 minutes (or another time frame that works for you) and then take a five minute break to do something else. After like 4 rotations of this, you can take a longer break. Do something during your breaks that lets you regain your energy, maybe engange with your special intrests for a short time, move around a bit, listen to your favourite song, read a book... Just something that isn't related to your schoolwork.

Also try out what way of studying works best for you. Do you have to verbally repeat things? Does it help you to move around while studying? Do you have to write out information over and over again? Is it enough if you just read it? Does it help to talk to someone about it?

3. Sensory needs

Figure out where the quiet places are. Are there areas in the school where not a lot of people hang out? Do you have a library where silence is mandatory? Does your school allow you to stay in classrooms during breaks? Do you have access to a seperate room when it gets too loud during class? What about headphones or other items for sensory needs?

Take also your sensory needs on your way to and from school into account.

Bring your own food and/or safe foods from home, if there isn't anything good at school.

4. Establish routine

If every day can't be the same, you cant try to establish a weekly routine instead of a daily one.

You are probably not going to have the same subjects during the same times everyday, so you won't have the exact same routine everday. However, you can try to get a "rhythm" to your day. Getting up at the same time, having breakfast and getting ready for the day, leaving home at the same time, those are all things you can keep the same if school always starts at the same time. If it ends at different times, try to still hit the same activities every day. For example: Come home, eat somthing and take a break, do your homework, have some free time, eat dinner, study for a bit, some free time, then bed time routine.

Take the same route to school and from school.

If they are going to be changes to your routine (like schooltrips) note them down early. If possible, have at least one day to prepare for changes.

Don't go to bed too late, sleep is very helpful.

5. Teachers, classmates

Communicate to your teachers, what your needs are and when you need help. Every teacher I had during school was always very supportive towards my classmate and made sure, to give them all necessary accomodations.

If necessary, ask for clarifications on assignments. Neurotypical teachers might not be able to take into account that you could have difficulties with certain things.

If a teacher causes problems for you by refusing to help and support you, look for help (parents, teachers that you trust, administration). I never encountered that, so I don't know how to approach this the best.

Same things apply to your classmates. If a classmate isn't willing to help you, if you don't get along with them etc., try to stay away from them if possible. Dealing with some classmates costs more energy than just staying away and ignoring them.

I don't know how exatly this works, but my classmate had almost always someone with them, that was there to help them along. Those helpers weren't teachers or in any way assocaited with the school (as far as I know) and also not part of the the classmate's family, so I really don't know how that works.

6. Breaks

Breaks are important. You need time to rest and regain your energy. If you don't feel okay, don't force yourself to study or do homework, it just costs even more energy and you don't really accomplish anything either. Find something that you know refills your energy, engage with your special intrests, lay down, dim the lights, no noise, whatever is necessary.

There are some things, that you can have control over, but a lot probably also comes down to being lucky with the people and environment around you. Some teachers, classmates and families are more supportive and understanding than others. So, try your best and be kind to yourself when you encounter problems because of unsupportive people. It is your teachers and parents' job to make sure that you learn and live in a safe and healthy environment.

I hope this was helpful, I wish you the best.

I struggle with being in the environment of school. How can I feel more comfortable there?

1. Get organized

Get used to checking Schoology daily

Color-code your folders and notebooks OR use an accordion file OR an AM and PM binder.

Keep your locker and back pack cleaned out

2. Do your homework.

You will have more homework.

Schedule your time wisely.

A lot a certain amount of time every night for homework and study.

Don’t wait until an assignment is due - start early.

Keep track of your homework assignments and their due dates. Check Schoology.

If you are absent, check Schoology for missed work and check in with your teachers the day you return.

3. Talk to your Teachers

Ask questions. If you are unsure of an assignment, what you need to be doing, or of anything, just ask. Your teachers are there to help you.

Get involved in extra-curricular activities

Find things that you enjoy - sports, clubs, activities, and get involved. This is a great way to meet new people and to have fun.

Listen to AM/PM announcements for upcoming meetings to join these activities at our school. 5. Get good grades.

Turn your homework in on time, ask questions and take advantage of extra-credit opportunities if available.

Remember to get absent work and check-in with your teachers when you return. 6. Stay Healthy

Get a good night’s sleep and eat a good breakfast before school.

7. Talk to your parents and keep them informed of what is going on in your middle school life.

8. Find an adult you trust to talk to when you have problems.

9. Choose your friends wisely.

10. Come to school and have fun.

I’m not sure if any of these are helpful. I haven’t been to school in years, so I’m not sure what classrooms are now. And everything I found was for teachers or parents. Maybe my followers can give advice and help?

The link to this will be below if you want to check it out. It’s just a PDF:

Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[dungeonmalcontent]

Hi! I really want to get Grimdark and Dangerous, but with recent events would rather not give WotC any money. Does DMs Guild give them a cut of the transaction, and if so do you have any other options to pay you for your book? Thanks!

Thank you for this ask. Because it's something I've been wanting to talk about.

To answer you question, I can really only sell Grimdark & Dangerous on DMsGuild. All sales through them also get updates and expansions (because I can't stop people that buy it from sharing it).

If that's all you wanted to know, you don't have to read the rest of this. Everything below here will probably get its own post but I'm putting it here while I have the time and right mindset.

I'm not particularly thrilled about only being able to sell on DMsGuild either, because they take a hefty 50% of the net sale and I get the rest in royalties (which also gets split with my editor who has been a major contributor; but I'm not complaining about her cut, she's more than earned it). DMsGuild has a special version of the OGL that they are under which allows more specific details of licensed content to be used, such as references to official settings like Forgotten Realms, Eberron, Ravenloft, and more. And for this, I would have to double check but I'm fairly certain, they also pay a fee to WotC to have access to this license. They also operate as a relatively easily navigated marketplace where I can share my work, and they allow me to update and expand on works for future and past purchasers.

And that last part is important, because every now and then I find a small error as I'm rereading Grimdark & Dangerous, and they build up, and then I add a new update with corrections to the purchase bundle. This is also how I plan on adding the bonus class for the 50 sales stretch goal, the monster compendium at the 200 (I think) stretch goal, and DMsGuild also prints physical copies for gold and better best sellers (which is another stretch goal I have).

But there's also the matter of the upcoming VTT market and the new OGL1.1.

Because of the move forward with the Roll20 merger and the OGL1.1 already being sent to Kickstarter, we can assume that Roll20 and DMsGuild are already on board for OGL1.1.

I am very much against the proposed OGL updates, and the potential legal ramifications it can have on the rest of the creator space (including me; even though I definitely don't make enough to pay the % cut, afaik I still lose control over my published work). That being the case, I'd still like to have my work up for as long as I can before that happens. And the more sales I generate, and everyone else of the same mindset as me generates, the more influence we have the negotiate a better OGL as a creator community. Because, if the OGL1.1 goes through, I am removing everything I've published from DMsGuild and working exclusively on different systems (most likely my own).

Now, my negotiating power is pretty low because I don't have any best seller titles and I don't have as much of a social media following as most other "published" homebrew creators. But we can also ask creators where they stand on the new OGL and respond with dollar voting against those who are not willing to refute the changes.

I hope this helps explain where I stand as a content creator who makes money from their content under a variant of the OGL, and what my plans are moving forward with new developments on the OGL.

[sofijaeger]

whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?

Eeeek!! i was so excited to answer this because i have so many moots and authors I follow who are INSANELY talented!! These accounts are not only my favorites to read from, but my favorite to interact with because these authors are some of the kindest, most welcoming people I know.

If you see your account and would liked to be removed, let me know immediately!!

some of these authors do interact and write mature and dark content, please oblige to their rules! This is mainly the reason i’m not recommending specific fics unless they don’t involve many adult themes.

@plutowrites (sfw only)

~ such a sweetheart oml- although I do enjoy reading mature fics, I always come back to reread this girlies work. It’s difficult finding all sfw accounts on here now, so getting to read from another author like myself is so warming to me. Her writing just makes you feel so good!

@junisfics

~ i think we’re all aware of the power this queen holds. Her writing is magnificent in grasping readers from just a few words, not to mention her own personality makes EVERYONE feel their best. She displays some of the most well-thought out plots i’ve ever seen. I’m obsessed with your work what can I say🤷🏻‍♀️

@bellbee

~ oh i just love her work so much. I always enjoy authors who put so much care into scenarios aside from actual stories. Be just writes so realistically and fun, you can practically picture yourself in the moment with each character. I definitely need to get closer with her, and you should too!

@eremiie

~ FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, GODLY, WOW. I need to binge Charm’s works all over again because they never get old or boring. The total amount of pieces shes written is insane, and each one holds so much affection and intimacy behind it. She writes just about everything, and i’ve fallen in love with her characterization of characters because she stays true to their canon selves while adding her own personal flair. Don’t think i’m not mad at you still after a soulmate who wasn’t meant to be. That shit hurt

@radicalxgirrl

~ DUDE JO’S BLURBS? SHEEEEESH. I hope she knows how much I love her drabbles because I truly adore them. To convey so much meaning and emotions within such few words makes her writing overwhelming in the best way possible. It is a godly talent and it’s amazing. I’m just dying for her to turn “all he can do is wait” into a fic because i’m ready to annotate the shit out of it.

@fiaficsxo

~ UGH MY BESTIE. I started off as her follower and am so thankful to be her moot now. Besides how absolutely amazing she is, she’s got the best Jean fics and headcanons i’ve ever read!! Seriously, Eren’s my favorite but sometimes...I actually reconsider😳🤫 Fia will ALWAYS be here for you when your down, she’s so lovable.

@emeren

~ the things i’ve got to say about miss gurl- I FUCKING LOVE HER. I remember reading “soft touches” and fell in love with the way she takes each sight and thought into detail, i’m a sucker for details can’t ya tell🤗 But it shows so strongly in her writing and it truly gets you hooked in seconds. So much love for you bb<3

@kirsteiiins

~ i frickin love this girl UGH. What i really enjoy about her works is the dialogue!! Naya is such an open and sociable person from how she treats us so well, so she really understands conversation between characters. Besides her outstanding work she gives all of her followers and anons so much love, even allowing a day where we can request what we’d like! How wonderful is that🥺

@erenstellar

~ geez... WHEW. I hope this makes sense, but her writing is so inviting in the most suggestive ways, I LOVE IT, and you can clearly see the effort in all of her works. Each character has such a detailed mind and thought process, just getting a glimpse into their point of view is fascinating. I’m also gonna add you’ll always get a seggsy response from this one, I can never get enough of Jeida.

@peachy-momos

~ We’re newer moots but BUN IS PRECIOUSS i wish we’d become friends sooner. Her fics where she adds just a bit of historical fiction are my favorites!! Like ErosEren? or PirateZeke? GAHH SO SO GOOD. Just everything about her, from the support she gives to every special touch in her works, you can’t NOT love her.

@mecries (og: @deityheaded-deactivated20210425)

~ THEY GAVE ME THE CORRECT ACCOUNT YAYY. The absolute sweetest soft!eren drabbles and the SEGGSIEST ONES TOO UGH, and the best part is their personality really shows through their fics... because i’ve never met someone so kind and hot at the same time😭 I need to binge their works just as much as you all do, they deserve so much recognition!!

and those aren’t even half the accounts I know from tumblr, i know i’m forgetting so many wonderful people!

and pshhhh u could also check out Pinehurst if you haven’t already 😉 i’m not as good as these guys though lol

[lilytheflowerwrites]

Alright time to write another Eret essay /head in hands/

In honor of the anniversary of the betrayal I decided to write a little about c!Eret’s motivations, beliefs and leverages for manipulation.

Disclaimer: all of this is about Dream SMP characters only, not the ccs (unless stated otherwise). I forget to add c! sometimes but unless there’s a cc! before the name, you can assume I’m talking about the character. Also just my personal opinion mostly, aka how I choose to interpret Eret’s character. It might honestly oppose that thread cc!Eret wrote about their character in some places, I haven’t reread it in a while. If you have anything to add or argue against, feel free to, but be respectful. Also I’m using they/them only for Eret in this essay so it’s consistent and less confusing.

Also also, warning for mild c!Dream critical / neg (and, in particular, discussions of him manipulating people). If that’s not your thing, read carefully or don’t read at all. 

Okay, something I want to say straight away is that c!Eret seeks power; the big example is, of course, betrayal. C!Eret believes that power is stability and an opportunity to make things right. In their own words, “Those who are given power, hold onto it.” This is why they’re holding onto their crown, but I’ll go into detail about that later.

C!Eret is very sure of their own power even outside of their king title (or any other titles they might get offered for that matter). Just think about the times they opposed someone (besides c!Dream - again, more on that later), like c!Schlatt (“The walls were built to keep your people safe, Schlatt”) or c!Karl (“Don't you ever cross me again, or you're gonna regret it”, and yes, I’m aware this was not a lore interaction, but still), or even c!Fundy in the early days after the betrayal (particularly in the shrinking tower prank). Sadly, Minecraft roleplay doesn’t allow to judge someone’s appearance or stance or gestures or anything, so the main thing is voice acting, and cc!Eret is impeccable in terms of it, so you can feel the power radiating off them. What is this inner power for c!Eret? My guess would be their relation to Herobrine, but also… the sheer amount of resources they own. Again, they might be the richest person on the server, there’s not much that can threaten them.

(“Lily, but what about c!Dream?” Later, later, I promise.)

Another thing: c!Eret is very individualistic. I believe personally that they feel like they can do much more good if they have the position of an individual ruler rather than when they’re in a group of people making decisions. L’Manberg as it was before the election would’ve given them much less power than the king title, obviously, because I doubt c!Wilbur would listen to them that much. (It’s my personal headcanon that c!Eret would probably run for L’Manberg’s president if they didn’t betray it because, again, undivided power.) Even in that short time period between the dethronement and reinstatement they didn’t work very closely with New L’Manberg, preferring to do their own thing. This is mostly how “not picking a side” manifests for them: they are on someone’s side, but prefer to work alone. Another example would be the road trip stream with Phil, Ranboo and Tubbo: they really only end up working with others because it’s easier than looking for a woodland mansion themselves. 

(I guess it also takes a long time for them to trust someone so much that they start actually actively and wantingly working with them, might be a case for past them with c!Foolish? I don’t think there’s a confirmation in canon though, so just my thoughts.)

Thought number three: c!Eret is idealistic. Why, you ask? Simple as that: despite having power, they still play by someone else’s rules a lot. They are seeking out titles not because they think they don’t have power otherwise; they need a king title to be a legitimate ruler. They believe that they can change things while not opposing higher power - in this case, c!Dream. That’s why they take his offer; after all, c!Dream is the real ruler of this world, it’s his SMP. By that logic, too, L’Manberg isn’t a legitimate country because it not only without Dream’s permission, it actively opposes him. By c!Eret’s logic, that’s not just unacceptable; that’s something doomed to fail. “Down with the revolution, boys; it was never meant to be.” This is also the reason they aren’t fighting back against him during the dethronement: they could, of course, but it’s just not something that might come to their mind, they can’t fight the one who gives them power, because if they go against him, they aren’t a legitimate ruler anymore. (“What about them helping Pogtopia?” Well, c!Dream hasn’t actually explicitly told them it’s not allowed - they might be idealistic, but they are okay with finding loopholes and exploiting them as long as it doesn’t count as them actively going against c!Dream.) This is the value that their crown has to them: power that’s still obeying the higher power, power that is allowed. 

This is, ultimately, a leverage that c!Dream had to manipulate them into betrayal. Now, I know a lot of people are sceptical about the whole “c!Dream manipulated c!Eret” thing, and I can understand why. The best explicit example of Dream manipulating someone we have is him with c!Tommy, so I feel like a lot of people try to compare Eret to Tommy in this case. But manipulation isn’t always like with c!Tommy. C!Dream saw c!Eret who, as I already said, seeks power naturally, and he decided it was his best pick for L’Manberg traitor. Wilbur wants power, yes, but he believes that L’Manberg can win and so won’t betray his own country; Tubbo and Tommy aren’t interested in power; Fundy? Maybe a bit, but I believe mostly he wants attention and approval, especially from his father, which isn’t something Dream can really offer. Eret, though? It’s just so easy to offer them this legitimate, easy power they won’t have to really fight for. It’s easy to convince them this power will let them do the right thing and unite the server back. It’s easy to appeal to their individualistic tendencies by offering them undivided power of the land - as long as they obey c!Dream, of course. C!Eret knows they’re a figurehead, and yet they still hold onto the crown because they think it lets them do something at least; this must be so beautiful for c!Dream, c!Eret still holding onto hope that they can help anyone.

And here’s the last part: I believe c!Eret won’t be free from c!Dream’s manipulation unless they give up the kingship. As long as they think that the power of the crown can help them do the right thing, they’re believing exactly what c!Dream wants them to believe. C!Eret must realize that they can - and, in my opinion, should - question and oppose c!Dream. I hope that happens soon. 

Alright, if you’re here and actually read this: first of all, thank you. Once again, this is only my vision of c!Eret, I’m not pretending this is actually canon and truth and all that. If I got something wrong in terms of lore, feel free to comment. Not sure if I’ll be up for an actual discussion of what I wrote, but who knows? Not me, the only thing I know is that I need to sleep instead of overthinking Minecraft roleplay. Please reblog this post, follow for more analysis, talk to me, all that. And, once again, thank you for reading.

[laron1a]

I am also doing a book challenge with two of my colleagues this year and we made an entire excel spreadsheet with rating and word count and page count and everything! They were so kind to allow me to add fanfiction to it and its been... a revelation, how much I actually read.

BUT to get back to the point. BOOKS! I managed to get them to read one of my all time favorites, the Throne of Glass books! I ADORE them! Its full of plot twists and such good foreshadowing that spans across MULTIPLE BOOKS! Like, a detail gets mentioned in book one and it comes back to haunt you in book 6, its *chefs kiss*. Total rec if you are a fantasy lover.

Fair warning, i AM an avid fantasy reader, so these are all leaning in that direction.

Another one i cam rec on the top of my head is the Lunar Chronicles series, which takes classic fairy tales and gives them a new, futuristic twist. For example, "Rapunzels" tower is a satellite orbiting earth. I remember reading them through the night!

An older series i read years ago that really got me hooked is the Cat&Bones series from Jeanine Frost. Absolutely adore them and thinking of them, i ought to reread them.

I am currently reading Rebecca Yarros Fourth Wing series. I am on the second book Iron Flame and i am enjoying the journey so far. Its funny and a little spicy and it has DRAGONS! HOWEVER, if you're not a fan of beloved characters getting REALLY hurt and oftentimes actually KILLED, then you should think about reading this because noone is save.

I have TONS of books still sitting here on my shelves, waiting to be read and i am currently very obsessed with two things.

One, everything Danmei, right now esp all of Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. I have every book right here just waiting to be read. If you like chinese culture, fantasy, martial arts and pretty boys, you may want to check them out! The donghuas are also REALLY good. Beware, some suffering and "it cant get worse...oh"

Second, thanks to Jorge Rivera-Herrans and his PHENOMENAL musical Epic (truly, go listen to it if you like musicals, its AMAZING and its on yt and spotify, he also has twitter and insta and tiktok and everything, go support him) i am currently kinda obsessed with Greek mythology, so i have Claire Norths Penelope and House of Odysseus here as well as Luna McNamarra's Psyche and Eros.

So yeah! A GREAT year for me, because there are TONS of greek and chinese mythology book right now!

This was... a rather long rant, but I hope maybe you found something that interests you!

My goal for this year is to read more books. There were a lot of books I avoided when I was younger just because I thought they weren't for me. I'm starting to realise that a lot of books are and it just wasn't time for me to read them yet. Others I've found are as badly written as I thought they would be and it makes me question why I want to read books by author's I haven't read from before.

Anyway, so far the books I've read that I've enjoyed are:

The Wheel of Time: Books 1 and 2. I have book 3 and plan to read it, however I fond out that this is an unfinished series since the author died. While it is technically finished, it was finished by Brandon Sanderson and while I have his books on my reading list, I don't think reading without Robert Jordan's penmanship will really bring justice to the world I've invested in. THAT BEING SAID, the first two books are SO good. I picked this book up by chance when I was away last year and put it back because the blurb was the vaguest thing I've ever seen. Except, then it haunted me once I heard there was a TV show. I haven't watched it, nor do I plan to since they seemed to have taken it in a different direction. But if you're looking for a good fantasy series to read, even if it's just the first few books, this one hasn't let me down yet.

The Raven Boys: I haven't finished this one yet but the book is good so far. I have the other 3 on the way that's how invested in this series I am right now. I've read other works by this author before, the Shiver one, and while I don't remember hating it I don't remember liking that one much. This book is good though. I'm enjoying it.

The Neverending Story: This one I enjoyed reading but I found that it's definitely a children's book. I picked it up in the hopes to read this to my niece when she's a little older. I thought it wouldn't be until she was around 10 before I could read this with her, but I'm happy that it's simple enough that I'll be able to read it to her maybe when she's around 3-7 Not too scary, not too detailed and while the movie is phenomenal, I really enjoyed this book as well.

The Folk of the Air series: I read them all. There were things in this I enjoyed. I liked the world building of the faerie realm. I also enjoyed some of the politics. But the book had its faults too. It's very teenager-ish. Which isn't inherently bad. The Raven Boys is proving to be better at it though. Jude and Cardan were... at times hard to read. It was quite predictable at times and it's not the best enemies to lovers book out there but I managed to finish it and I did enjoy it. It's something I would recommend to people, but not something I would rave about like I would the Wheel of Time.

I'm looking for other books to read after this. So far my list is:

The rest of the Raven Cycle (3 books) The Way of Kings series (These are so long and there's like 4 books) The Wheel of Time (Book 3 and maybe 4) God of War Inkheart

If there's anything else you would recommend let me know. If anyone has read any Robin Hobb books let me know if they're any good, I'm looking for a good fantasy series.

Also also if anyone knows if someone has written a Davy Jones and Calypso book let me know. I wish Disney had decided to do a prequel on them or at least release a book but I have yet to find one.

[tossawary]

How do you prepare for a writing session? I have a terrible time focusing on anything and would love some pointers

My focus has been all over the place lately, but, ahhh, here are a bunch of things that help me personally focus on getting that WIP done: 

- Deadlines. Deadlines make me focus like nothing else. If I allowed myself to officially say that my update day needed to be Thursday this week instead of Wednesday, the chapter would come late on Thursday. Having an official update day of the week helps me pace myself. 

(Having that day of the week not be a weekend day lets me actually relax and enjoy my weekend, which helps me recharge.) 

- Outlines. Having an outline to follow makes it easier to write a lot all at once or to pick up where I left off if I’m writing in bursts. My outlines are a mess of point-form notes with all the plot and character moments I think I need to hit. Sometimes they’re snippets of nice-sounding dialogue and sometimes they’re things like, “Shang Qinghua says something here that reminds the audience of the existence of X plot detail coming up shortly.” 

Or: “- Shang Qinghua does Y action. - Mobei-Jun is amused.” 

I can dig up one of my outlines for a PINTWILF chapter. I have nearly all of them still, I think. Some of them have very detailed outlines and then some of them were super vague, like, “I HAVE A VISION, LET’S GO BEFORE I LOSE IT.” 

I have a notes document with the outlines and a document that I’m actually writing in. Sometimes, I’ll have the side by side on my screen, with the notes document on my left, so I can glance between the two as I write. 

(When I do this, I keep a third window hidden, which contains my music tabs and my thesaurus tabs and my distraction tabs. If I can’t see it, it helps.) 

Sometimes, if I want one big window, I’ll copy-paste the outline into my writing document, underneath the in-progress writing, separated by a “CONTINUE HERE”. The point-form notes come up one by one, and I delete the point-form notes as I hit them until the copy-pasted outline is gone. 

- If your eyes are slipping over the words, change the font and the font size. A large, dyslexic-friendly font like Comic Sans is usually good. Switching fonts is also good for spell-checking. 

Shorter paragraphs can also make things seem snappier and catch my eyes better. They can also reveal the beats (plot, character, tension, etc.) of a scene. Once your bones are made clear, you can always go back in and rejoin paragraphs, or elaborate on the beats that need it. 

- Honestly, just having massive chunks of free time (yay, being confined to my house) is what has allowed me to write this much. When I have errands or chores or tasks, I try to get them over with before I start writing, because constantly thinking “I need to remember to pay that bill after this” is a focus-breaker. It’s easier to just do it now so I don’t forget later. 

Work is left at work! So fun writing time can be fun writing time only! 

If I’m hungry or thirsty or need to use the bathroom, I just get up and go do that. Being hungry or thirsty makes my brain uncooperative. It needs energy to do its thing! Get up, solve the body’s problem, take the opportunity to stretch, and then my focus isn’t constantly divided by thinking, “I’m hungry.” Meals and other needs shouldn’t be withheld as rewards! They’re needed for writing! 

If my feet are cold, I go get socks. One more distraction eliminated! 

On a similar note, sometimes I can’t focus because I feel like I haven’t “accomplished enough” of other things and it feels like I have other things I should be doing. Taking a walk, cooking a meal (or a treat!), or getting a task or chore out of the way can help with that. I have Accomplished Something and now I can write freely! 

- Give myself permission to just GET IT DONE and then go back and improve upon it later is a huge help. My writing doesn’t have to be pretty. I don’t have to get it right on the first try. I can go back and make it nice later. 

If it’s feeling a little flat, I can come back later and tone it up. 

If it’s feeling a little too much, I can come back later and tone it down. 

I also don’t have to go back and make it nice later. Projects can be imperfect. 

Likewise, it’s good to give myself permission to be direct when I’m writing. “Oh, damn, I need Shang Qinghua to cross the room here,” I’ll say, and it feels like I’ve hit a dead end. How do I write that transition? I write: “Shang Qinghua crossed the room.” Done! Stage directions don’t have to be fancy! 

Maybe I’ll add an adverb later on the second pass, but dialogue can convey that he crossed the room carefully (“Are you... okay?”) or angrily (“What is wrong with you?!”) well enough. 

I’m also allowed to just use “said”. Sometimes less is more! 

- I’m only “allowed” to post one WIP to AO3 at a time. That also helps. 

If you have other WIPs that feel like they’re dragged you down, you can just mark them as “incomplete” or “on hiatus”. Feeling accountable to others helps me write, but it also helps to remind myself I don’t “owe” my time or effort to any project if I’m not feeling it right now. People might be disappointed that I’m not writing what they want or that I even have to backtrack on a promise, but their disappointment isn’t really my problem. I’m allowed to change my mind. 

Sometimes ideas have limits. Some ideas can become feature-length films and some ideas can become 6-hour mini-series and some ideas are only really worth about a short film (unless you bring in more characters and themes and sub-plots, etc). Sometimes, you have to get the writing version of a seam-ripper, figure out what you’re not vibing with, and come back with more characters and themes and sub-plots to make an idea vibe with you again. 

And sometimes it’s good to follow Marie Kondo’s example and go, “You know what? This unfinished fic taught me that I do not enjoy writing fics like this.” Or: “This unfinished fic taught me that I do not vibe with this idea.” 

- Sometimes, music is more distracting than anything else, especially when I’m writing dialogue. I’ll turn music off when I need to “hear” the dialogue better. Listening to ambience mix style stuff that goes on for hours can help set the mood and also means I’m not distracted by constantly picking new music. 

- Sometimes I wear specific outfits or change into a different outfit when I want to be in a better mood for writing. Usually into a more comfortable outfit. (But sometimes there’s a scene that calls to be written by an author wearing a fancy dress! However, I find very fancy outfits are for very rare occasions.) 

Brushing my hair or brushing my teeth before a writing sessions can help me feel refreshed. Sometimes I shower before my writing sessions. I find it relaxing to feel clean. Changing bedsheets or rearranging the couch to my liking can help too. Sometimes, I channel the energy of a bird picking at my nest and fluffing my feathers, for the Best Environment and Best Look! These cleaning behaviors are important for attracting mates and all the jazz, but they’re also good for attracting personal happiness and good writing vibes. 

- Rereading comments before a writing session can help me feel pumped. 

I answer comments or asks in bunches because most often I prefer to direct my energy towards my writing sessions. I love the comments and the asks! So much that sometimes I want to hoard them forever! But sometimes I need to set them aside so that I can keep making the writing I enjoy. 

Sometimes it can be distracting, though. 

- Okay! I think that’s everything off the top of my head! Key points for me: 

Time! 

Preparation! 

Comfort! 

Environment! 

Different techniques will work differently for different people, of course. Sometimes, these techniques work very well for me and sometimes I just get more distracted. Oh, last thing is something I’m bad at, but: if it feels like I really need to sleep, I probably really need to sleep. Naps are my friend. 

So are break weeks. Recharging is good. 

[hopeswriting]

I meant to do a post about my thoughts on the Daily Life Arc now that I finished rereading it, but I can't seem to find the time and it's been a while now, and if I keep it up I'll forget what my thoughts are to begin with lol, so here's the long story short:

I know it's a long arc, as in it starts being boring and more or less unbearable past some point, because the "gag of the chapter" format only takes you so far, and not actually very far if Amano's humor doesn't work on you much, if at all. I don't think it's an arc you can reread right away/soon either, lest you feel that one flaw even faster.

And I felt it too, starting with the fourty-something chapters I felt like it was dragging on too much, though to be fair that probably had to do too with the fact I knew things much more interesting were coming after that.

Still, all that said, like, it's an enjoyable arc. Amano's humor happens to work on me, and she does it really well, and I liked reading the arc. There are some chapters where you're really asking yourself why they were written for lol, but even then you read it for the characters, and it somehow keeps you going.

And like, even though I think Amano could have seen the fact the comedy was going to turn repetitive and thus boring at some point, and try to diversify it or something, it's just how comedy/humor/gags works? Some jokes land and some doesn't, but for me at least a lot more of them worked than not.

The DLA is a good enough arc is what I'm saying.

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On than note and on the contrary, of course it's fine if you think it's a bad arc, to each their opinion, but personally I really don't agree it's an unnecessary one.

I'm saying this because apparently it's not uncommon to advice new fans to skip the arc and directly start with the Kokuyo one? (Or so I learned on TV Tropes anyway, this might or might not be still relevent/accurate.)

Now don't get me wrong, the DLA does fail to hook the readers to the story for the reasons stated above, I agree with that, but it literally introduces the main character? And all the other characters, and gets us to know them, and establishes the dynamics between them and why they're the way they are, and, though only in a more or less superficial manner (and more than less) by design of the arc's purpose (not being deep in any way lol), it still gives us an insight into the characters and why they're the way they are. A glimpse into the core of their personality, the "stakes" of their characters, the flaws they have to overcome.

And all that in the context of their daily life, so if you skip it to go directly to the arc that challenges them, you can't appreciate fully how they rise to the challenge, how it shows their growth or reasserts their core values. You can't know how much or what it means, for example, off the top of my head, to have Yamamoto sacrifice his arm to beat Ken, when only a year ago he tried to kill himself over his broken arm. Or Hibari losing against Mukuro, thus telling us how much of a real threat he was. Or Tsuna screaming at Lancia for having hurt his friends, anger on his face, clearly despite himself, that Dame-Tsuna.

All these just wouldn't hit you the same, and it'd be such a shame? I mean I guess the ones who start with the Kokuyo arc go back to read the DLA, or you could compromise like the anime did by splitting the DLA between more serious arcs, but like I said I personally don't find the DLA that bad, so I still wouldn't advice it lol.

Even if, I suppose, it'd mean they might give up on the manga somewhere through the DLA, but like? Some mangas just don't speak to you, and that's fine, and it'd be a little of a shame from my POV as a KHR fan, but still, no big deal.

------

I'm still very impressed with how smoothly Amano went from a gag manga to a shonen one, and how she made it so the DLA still fits with the rest. I mean the sudden change in tone/stakes/etc is jarring, sure, but it's all based on stuff she introduced in the DLA, which she presumably came up with with no intention to ever make it something deeper/more meaningful.

It's easy to believe the foreshadowing, and generally speaking the worldbuilding was planned all along, which, again, probably not, and like? Super impressive.

(Though once more don't get me wrong, there are inconsistencies/plot holes in Amano's plotlines and worldbuilding, but not, like, at their seams, if I can say it like that? It's more often in the details, and it's fairly easy to fill in the blanks ourselves.)

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Finally it was a lot of fun to rediscover the characters in a new light, and a bit of a disbelieving surprise tbh.

For context before I started my reread of the manga, all this time I was going with the time I read/watched it years ago plus the times I skimmed it, but mostly by all the fanon I was consuming. And it's not to say fanon is wrong per se, but it latched on one to three character's traits, or slapped an easy character archetype on them easy to "relate" to within, and apparently never looked back lol. And also often dialed up those traits (good or bad) in a very noticeable manner.

What I'm saying is, fanon is, in fact, wrong sometimes zldnslsz, and the characters are much more nuanced even in the DLA! (Which still leaves us at a more or less superficial level, because, you know lol, but still!)

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To name the ones that stood out to me the most:

Nana isn't abused by Iemitsu, nor is she unhappy in her marriage despite Iemitsu being an absent husband (which is not relevent in the context of the DLA, but still, you can tell). She isn't an abusive mother to Tsuna either, and she is literally never an airhead. She literally just isn't, she actually does react very normally to the crazy Reborn brings with him, but much like Yamamoto as long as no one gets hurt (or walks it off), she just brushes it off.

And she has friends she goes listen to piano recitals with, and tries to save on money by eating rests, and gets in two-way arguments with Tsuna, and raises his allowance if he gets better grades to push him to work harder, and all around is just your average mom that really didn't read as just The Mom, if you know what I mean.

She has her flaws, definitely, she's not a great mom, namely is apparently used to call Tsuna Dame-Tsuna, but she's not just that.

She takes care of him, worries over him, and seems to be the only one who hasn't given up on him yet when the story starts. She supports him (though sometimes in a tactless to hurtful way), praises him when he does well, and trusts him to watch over the kids.

She's not that bad is what I'm saying, and 100% redeemable (that is, if you think she needs to be redeemed to begin with, which I actually do think she does, calling Tsuna Dame of all things is just a really shitty thing to do.)

(Though it's interesting to note that she doesn't do it again after what happened with Kyoko iirc, even if she might very well still talk to him in a belittling way at times. I just wish Amano would have commit fully to acknowledge it and resolve it, what with already having made it Kyoko's Dying Will Regret.)

(Edit: I had forgotten but she literally forgets his birthday while preparing someone else's birthday, so I take back that she is 100% redeemable because it's being too nice. But my point still stands.)

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Haru is literally such a fun character, it makes me even more sad now to know what Amano did with her (nothing ansknslq 😭😂).

She's unhinged, has zero impulse control, does not reflect on the consequences of her lack of impulse control as Tsuna points it out, is ready and willing to throw hands at any given moment and is unapologetic of it, and is the one Amano actually calls an airhead.

The only problem she had with the mafia is that she thought Tsuna was forcing it on Reborn, and when she confirmed it was all true she literally didn't even blink at it, and immediately called herself the future Decimo's wife djosdkkd.

On that note she is literally mafia right from her first appearance, is more or less involved in almost all the mafia shenanigans, was right there with Tsuna & Co when they went to destroy the Tomaso's headquarters.

And like?? Amano could just have left it at that if she wasn't going to do anything else/more with it. Haru had so much potential, and not only Amano did nothing with it, she actually watered her down and took away all her distinct character's traits 😭.

------

Hibari is so much more feral and playful than his fanon cool, overpowered, quiet badass counterpart. Which I love too, don't get me wrong, but these two sides of him don't have to be exclusive!

He talks and smiles and jokes often, and shows off and casually insults you, and licks the blood away from his lips after having beaten bloody other middle schoolers who dared to defy him (I know this happens in the Kokuyo arc, but it illustrates my point the best).

Not much more to add than that, we should just acknowledge that and put it in our works more often.

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Gokudera is a compelling character from the get go, and as far as the DLA goes, he's the most compelling character second to Tsuna. He's the only one to actually have flashbacks and a backstory. And what stood out to me the most that I don't see often in fanon, is that he's really a good friend.

Yes he has a short fuse and snaps easily and is easy to anger, but he's not always angry. And is seen having and being capable of positive exchanges outside of Tsuna (I'm thinking Yamamoto namely, who's made with Ryohei to be the one he gets angry with the most).

And yes he holds Tsuna on a pedestal and sees him through heavily tinted pink glasses, but even through that he's earnestly a good friend. And tries his best, and is hardworking and overachieving, so much so he messes up without meaning to, but he only ever has honest, straight-forward good intentions behind it all (well, maybe not always lol).

I love him a lot more now is what I'm saying.

------

And Tsuna. I'm not sure I'll be able to articulate my thoughts properly, but like... he's just your average teenager. Which of course is his whole thing, and I'm saying it in a very not judgy way whatsoever, but he's often made to be at least a little more than that, namely about his bullying.

Like, it's kind of dramatised in fics? And I'm not going to elaborate on that more because it might come out wrong and I don't want that, but it's just, like—canonically he is just bullied, simple as that. Like many other teenagers are.

And it's all in a "chill" way (for unfortunate lack of a better word, I don't mean to trivialize bullying at all, it's wrong and unfair and never deserved or okay, just so we're clear), and by the time the story starts Tsuna is used to it and has given up fighting against it, and actually finds refuge and a twisted comfort in embracing his Dame-Tsuna's monicker, because at least he's not gonna hit rock bottom deeper than that if he does.

And I'm not actually going anywhere with this, it's just? It hit me how differently canon and fanon portray his bullying.

Back on the note of him being a (below) average teenager, Tsuna is not an uwu pure cinnamon roll too good for this world.

He's literally so quick to judge and criticise, whether in his head or out loud when he knows more the person (namely Haru lol, poor girl), it was actually a bit of a shock tbh lol. He snaps easily, and is lazy, does not want to try even one bit, and is happy to run away from his responsibilities whenever he can.

And not only I'm not saying that in a judgy way this time either, but I'm actually saying it in a good way. He really felt like your average middle schooler, and it was so refreshing to see. That, plus the fact the narrative never holds it against him, let alone punishes him for it even if he's made to grow out of these traits, and it's literally part of his character arc, is kind of unique for the shonen genre (maybe, I'm not exactly a specialist of shonen mangas lol).

And I can see why you'd want to change it in fics, but personally I think it really makes his character's arc even more meaningful.

[memesrruinedsoirant]

His Dark Materials Book 3 (The Amber Spyglass) GIGANTIC plot holes

Ok WTF the heartbreaking canonical realization of Lyra and Will having to separate is full of shit. So WHY did I have to suffer so much as a 10-year-kid and just now again after rereading it?

1.) First of all, Xaphania warns Will that open windows cause Dust to leak out, this leaking being deadly for consciousness and sentient life in the universe. But ONE window can be left open, because that Dust can be renewed by sentient life being active, kind, curious, busy, and humanly conscious. Lyra and Will choose to leave the window in the underworld open, and sadly decide to not leave one open for their own use.

HOWEVER, we know that there are infinite universes in existence, which means the production of Dust is ALSO literally infinite, with production levels also increasing and decreasing depending on the sentient beings’ actions and curiousity. I SUPPOSE if the speed of the leaking of only TWO windows (the underworld window + Lyra and Will’s window) is higher than the speed at which Dust from INFINITE universes is generated, this would lead to a perpetual leaking that would continue for a long time. This does appear to be a big problem, but please note the mathematical discrepancies that are required for this disaster to happen. The two windows would have to leak infinite amounts of Dust at a higher speed than that of the entire infinite multiverse (literally billions of universes each with trillions of intelligent beings) generating infinite Dust. You’d think Angels would know this and advise them accordingly, right? If they know but they don’t tell them, that’s just mean and doesn’t add up with their motivations. But if you assume that they don’t know, that’s messed up because then the continuity’s messed up. Angels supposedly know everything because they ARE everything (matter loves matter, remember?) This entire part of the book does not make sense. The only way this part works is if the existence of just one more window is THAT detrimental of an increase to Dust leakage ACROSS the multiverse. This part of my reasoning is mathematical, yes, but the math doesn’t seem to add up in this series which otherwise conveniently relies on reasonably accurate and focused scientific reasoning like different timelines and universes sprouting out of different events that go in multiple directions. But FINE. If you say that the ONLY TWO windows in existence leak THAT much THAT fast, so much so that the multiverse’s TOTAL Dust levels decrease even WITH infinite production that only needs to be encouraged by propagating creativity and free will, I will accept this point begrudgingly. I know, it’s nonsensical. Hence the grudge. Moving on.

2.) Xaphania actually DOES cede to the point that if a window is open for only a short amount of time, there is not enough opportunity for a considerable or harmful amount of leakage to occur. 30 seconds in and out for a window so Lyra and Will can switch between worlds every six months, right? The problem here is that with every new window cut open by the Subtle Knife, a new specter is drawn from the Abyss. Okay, big problem. I understand.

BUT then Xaphania casually says ‘Go on back to your own worlds. Cut a new window, no problem. Yes, this will create a new specter. We’ll take care of the specters.’ EXCUSE ME? YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF SPECTERS? THEN WHY NOT ALLOW WILL AND LYRA TO LIVE TOGETHER AND SWITCH BETWEEN WORLDS EVERY SIX MONTHS WITH A NEW PORTAL? The Dust leaking in 30 seconds of a window being open is insignificant, by Xaphania’s own admission. And if the angels CAN deal with specters, then why not allow the two to live together and the angels deal with only ONE new specter every six months? Seriously, the way Xaphania talks about the Specters seems like she’s describing cockroaches and she’s the baddest exterminator in the tri-state area. So would it really be an issue if these 2 adorable babies opened up a window every few months to live long fulfilling lives with each other while switching between their worlds to prevent health problems? Even if a Specter went away to another distant world, angels CAN move about between worlds with ease. Will can even tempt these angels with prostitutes (this blog def supports sex workers) and snacks (read next paragraph for elaboration on the Angels’ weaknesses and temptations) Anyway, I call bullshit on this reasoning.

I am EVEN MORE angry when thinking about the fact that Will HIMSELF can kill Specters. He literally DID it during the big battle between Asriel and Metatron’s forces. If his opening a new window creates a new Specter with EACH new window, surely he can kill EACH new Specter? They seem to be shit-scared of his knife anyway, and for GOOD REASON. He could just call a few angels to hold em in place and stab stab boom done that’s that. And do NOT tell me that Angels won’t do it there are literally ‘uncounted billions’ of them and they do seem to like things such as food and the ‘touch of flesh’. Will could just give them access to a few strip clubs or get them Nando’s every now and then for this simple service. WILL COME ON THINK YOU HAVE ANGELS AND A BADASS KNIFE WHY ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT SPECTERS??? OPEN A NEW PORTAL WHENEVER YOU NEED AND JUST GET IT OVER WITH QUICKLY TO AVOID LEAKAGE AND REMEMBER TO KILL THE PESKY SPECTER.

Anyway, the heartbreaking farewell at the end of The Amber Spyglass is absolutely unnecessary as my mini-dissertation details. Yes, admittedly this is a children’s book, but the writer DID himself graduate from Oxford and so I do expect him to see this gaping hole in his uber-complex plotline that he himself created. I can only assume that the ending broke thousands of hearts like it did mine twice, when it does not need to at all. It’s even more frustrating when the other parts of the series are really quite well-written. At least for the most part, anyway. 

This particular snag could have been avoided ridiculously easily, even if it had taken another whole book. Anyway, from now on my mental version of the canon consists of Lyra and Will both having this realization soon after saying goodbye, and Will a) either goes back right away, b)fixes his Knife if he’s too sad and slow to realize this before breaking it (both follow point 2′s reasoning), or c) convinces an Angel with ANY sense the ridiculousness of their ‘dilemma’ and thereby keeps another window open between his world and Lyra’s (point 1). Or maybe they both realize this before taking any brash steps at all. I mean, they’re both smart af so this is hardly a big leap for either of them. Ok rant done I’m adding tags now I might be embarassed now coz this IS a children’s book and I’m pretty late to the rereading party and I was too young to see this hole when I was nine anyway. Maybe others saw this before me.

[catastrophicmind]

I tend to go with the flow. I make up an outline of bullet points I want to hit on and kind of let my mind wonder. I would maybe start with a one shot. Take an idea you’re really interested in and build around it. What’s the scene? Who are the characters? What’s the idea you’re trying to get across? Does it fit with how these individuals would actually interact?

I always type up a rough draft that tends to be a lot shorter than what I submit to ao3. I reread through it and add as I go along to bring the story more substance. I find re-reading my own works really allows me to give greater detail and interaction to what I’m trying to depict.

I took a long hiatus from writing stories and just began writing for myself until I got back into the swing of things. It helped build confidence and also got my brain flowing again as well.

It really helps that I keep Microsoft Word on my phone so I’m able to open the app and start adding/editing any time an idea strikes me.

Originally, I’ve written plenty of canon fics that specifically follow what was already outlined in shows and stories. This gave me guidelines to follow without having to exhaust any major creative thinking. From there, I worked up to creating my own au worlds that require a lot more brainstorming.

Ultimately, you’ll find what works for you. Trust in yourself and try to find a quiet space to relax and focus in. I recommend allowing things flow naturally because, for me, when I try to force an idea…that’s when I really become stuck.

The imagination is a beautiful thing— we’re all so very capable of creating amazing ideas.

You got this!!!

I really want to get into writing fanfic but I struggle to reach even a 1k word count and most my ideas are like multi chapter works, any advice?

Should I be starting with simpler and shorter stuff like drabbles or one shots and slowly work my way up? Or how does improving at writing fanfic work, where should I start? What pitfalls should I avoid?

[dahlia-coccinea]

Wuthering Heights - Chapter 3

This is a somewhat difficult chapter to discuss fully in a single post. It introduces so many important themes and has the first glimpse of the story of the earlier inhabitants of the Heights. Sorry if this is too long - I've tried to keep my comments concise. It is difficult for me to not mention every tiny detail I like lol 

We learn that Zillah has worked at the house a year or two and is aware that Catherine’s old room is off-limits but seems to know little else. It shows that despite the emotional unloading that Heathcliff does to Nelly he is very reserved about all that has happened in the past. 

It seems the house has been ruled by chaos for years and there is an instinctual need for the inhabits to defend themselves against it. We see this when Lockwood first climbs into the box bed and closes the doors he says he “felt secure against the vigilance of Heathcliff, and every one else.” The need to shut out the world and crawling into small spaces is repeated later in this chapter with Catherine's diary details how, with Heathcliff, in an attempt to avoid the cruelty of Hindley and Frances “made ourselves as snug as our means allowed in the arch of the dresser,” and closed off the world by fastening their pinafores together. 

We get some other interesting glimpses of Catherine and Heathcliff early friendship. It is quite popular to say that Heathcliff is Catherine’s whip and he is a blank slate for her, but I think this diary entry is another example of their oddly egalitarian relationship. First, we have this scene of Catherine lashing out against their ill-treatment:

I took my dingy volume by the scroop, and hurled it into the dog-kennel, vowing I hated a good book. Heathcliff kicked his to the same place. Then there was a hubbub! 

That Heathcliff swiftly follows her lead certainly shows a reciprocation of the other’s attitude and worldview - or simply that if one is going to get in trouble then the other will follow suit. Still, I do hold that he doesn’t just mimic her or do as she wishes. We get a number of examples that show neither play a clear leader in their antics with one happening shortly after this incident. Catherine's diary continues: 

I have got the time on with writing for twenty minutes; but my companion is impatient, and proposes that we should appropriate the dairywoman’s cloak, and have a scamper on the moors, under its shelter. A pleasant suggestion—and then, if the surly old man come in, he may believe his prophecy verified—we cannot be damper, or colder, in the rain than we are here.

Here Heathcliff takes the lead in coming up with more plans to get further into trouble and it seems Catherine is more than pleased to go along with it. 

There are other, now iconic, details of Catherine’s character in this chapter. Such as this description of the box bed from Lockwood:

The ledge, where I placed my candle, had a few mildewed books piled up in one corner; and it was covered with writing scratched on the paint. This writing, however, was nothing but a name repeated in all kinds of characters, large and small—Catherine Earnshaw, here and there varied to Catherine Heathcliff, and then again to Catherine Linton.

And later:

Catherine’s library was select, and its state of dilapidation proved it to have been well used, though not altogether for a legitimate purpose: scarcely one chapter had escaped a pen-and-ink commentary—at least the appearance of one—covering every morsel of blank that the printer had left. Some were detached sentences; other parts took the form of a regular diary, scrawled in an unformed, childish hand. At the top of an extra page (quite a treasure, probably, when first lighted on) I was greatly amused to behold an excellent caricature of my friend Joseph,—rudely, yet powerfully sketched. An immediate interest kindled within me for the unknown Catherine, and I began forthwith to decipher her faded hieroglyphics.

Catherine holed up in the box bed and writing on every spare bit of paper she can get her hands on and scratching her name in the paint, tell of someone who has no one to talk to. She’s alone and is compelled to at least make sense of herself with ink and paper. Nelly does say later on that “there was not a soul else that she might fashion into an adviser” beside Nelly herself. Which is a poor adviser, considering how Nelly disliked her throughout her childhood. 

Adding to Catherine’s loneliness is the endless abuse of Heathcliff and herself, at the hands of seemingly everyone in the house. In this short excerpt from her diary, we are told Hindley’s treatment of Heathcliff is “atrocious,” and that now he is the new master they are no longer allowed to play, and “a mere titter is sufficient to send us into corners.” Heathcliff has his hair pulled by Frances, Catherine’s ears are boxed by Joseph and they’re both berated and verbally punished by him. Finally Hindley “seizing one of us by the collar, and the other by the arm, hurled both into the back-kitchen” where she says that outside on the moors “cannot be damper, or colder.” Upon their return and proceeding punishment she says she’s cried until her head ached. Consistent with what we later hear her tell Nelly, that Heathcliff’s miseries are her own, it is not her punishment or ill-treatment that makes her so upset but the casting out of Heathcliff. She writes: 

“Poor Heathcliff! Hindley calls him a vagabond, and won’t let him sit with us, nor eat with us any more; and, he says, he and I must not play together, and threatens to turn him out of the house if we break his orders. He has been blaming our father (how dared he?) for treating H. too liberally; and swears he will reduce him to his right place—”

Critics that suggest Catherine is glassy-eyed and naive idealist really gloss over these excerpts in my opinion. There is a constant downplaying of her abuse compared to the other characters among those that seemingly think she’s the only character with moral agency and therefore the cause of all problems in the story. 

I love how strange the encounter that Lockwood has with the book “Seventy Times Seven, and the First of the Seventy-First,” and the following dream is when first reading Wuthering Heights. Hardly anything in WH is superfluous and when rereading it this makes much more sense. This is quite an interesting segue into meeting Catherine’s ghost, and later learning more of her life. Forgiveness is such an important aspect in the book and will come up many times. Notably, while on her deathbed, Catherine tells Heathcliff she has forgiven him and that he should forgive her. 

I think it is amusing and also very interesting how in Lockwood’s dream he’s walking with Joseph (in itself is very metaphorical) and Joseph tells him he should have brought a “pilgrim’s staff” and that Joseph’s staff is really just a “heavy-headed cudgel.”

It’s unsurprising the appearance of Catherine’s ghost is so iconic. It’s impossible to discern if it is merely Lockwood’s dream or him actually encountering her spirit. There are details about her that Lockwood, at this point, does not yet know. Still, he does make many attempts to logically explain what happens. Either way, the imagery of the scene is both frightening and tragic. 

We get some really interesting glimpses of Heathcliff’s character in this scene. Normally he is very collected and if his emotions are out of control they tend towards anger, but here we see him truly terrified and unable to maintain composure after finding Lockwood in the room.

Heathcliff stood near the entrance, in his shirt and trousers; with a candle dripping over his fingers, and his face as white as the wall behind him. The first creak of the oak startled him like an electric shock: the light leaped from his hold to a distance of some feet, and his agitation was so extreme, that he could hardly pick it up.

Even after Lockwood identifies himself Heathcliff is said to have found it “impossible to hold it [the candle] steady” and was “crushing his nails into his palms, and grinding his teeth to subdue the maxillary convulsions.” It is interesting that Heathcliff doesn’t become so angry that he throws Lockwood out. It’s another oddly humanizing moment for him. An overly dramatic author would likely have him behave like a complete monster, but he instead tells him to finish the night there and not to scream like that again. This is a scene that I wish we could have some perspective from Heathcliff. Not only is he startled by a noise coming from Catherine’s old room but then Lockwood adds to his distress by rambling about Catherine saying:

And that minx, Catherine Linton, or Earnshaw, or however she was called—she must have been a changeling—wicked little soul! She told me she had been walking the earth these twenty years: a just punishment for her mortal transgressions, I’ve no doubt!

This and Lockwood’s further talk which makes it apparent he has snooped and glimpsed a little bit of Catherine’s and Heathcliff’s past, does set Heathcliff off: 

“What can you mean by talking in this way to me!” thundered Heathcliff with savage vehemence. “How—how dare you, under my roof?—God! he’s mad to speak so!” And he struck his forehead with rage.

Lockwood doesn’t quite understand this reaction saying:

I did not know whether to resent this language or pursue my explanation; but he seemed so powerfully affected that I took pity and proceeded with my dreams; affirming I had never heard the appellation of “Catherine Linton” before, but reading it often over produced an impression which personified itself when I had no longer my imagination under control. Heathcliff gradually fell back into the shelter of the bed, as I spoke; finally sitting down almost concealed behind it. I guessed, however, by his irregular and intercepted breathing, that he struggled to vanquish an excess of violent emotion. 

And later when watching Heathcliff call for Cathy through the window:

There was such anguish in the gush of grief that accompanied this raving, that my compassion made me overlook its folly, and I drew off, half angry to have listened at all, and vexed at having related my ridiculous nightmare, since it produced that agony; though why was beyond my comprehension. 

At one point Lockwood also believes Heathcliff to be “dashing a tear from his eyes” during their conversation. Of course, he is confused because he doesn’t know that one of Heathcliff’s few fixations has been looking for signs of Catherine for the last 17ish years. 

I’ve mentioned this before, but something that doesn’t happen in the book because Heathcliff never narrates it, but I think if someone retold the story or made a film adaptation it could be interesting to explore, is how Heathcliff came to find Catherine’s writing on the wall. She must have written it shortly before she talks to Nelly since she’s already considering marrying Linton, and Heathcliff must still be living at the Heights since his name is there also. When Heathcliff returns three years later we know that he takes over Catherine’s old room so really he should have discovered it the first night there, probably after having visited the Grange. 

@astrangechoiceoffavourites has mentioned this in one their posts, but another great aspect of the book is the background happenings that are very realistic for the time and particularly farm life. Cats and dogs roam about, Heathcliff mentions that the house goes to bed at “nine in winter, and rise at four,” and there are mentions of chores, etc. The details create a realistic backdrop and ground the characters in reality. I feel like the novel is never overly sentimental because of this and it really strengthens it. 

After Heathcliff comes down to the kitchen where the household is starting their day, we are instantly reminded how terrible Heathcliff can be when he swears at and threatens to hit Cathy for not making herself useful and working for her keep. Ironically, he tells her, “You shall pay me for the plague of having you eternally in my sight,” when, as I’ve mentioned before he has her sit at the dining table with everyone else. He also could just send her away if he despises her so much. 

I see a lot of similarity between the glimpse we get of Catherine Earnshaw from her diary and the current situation Cathy Heathcliff is in. Their situations are certainly different but both are in a similar state of abuse and neglect and both are quite self-possessed and antagonistic towards those that try to control them. They also are associated with books (Catherine filling them up with writing and Cathy reading) and have an affinity for animals. In this chapter it is mentioned that while Cathy is reading she has “to push away a dog, now and then, that snoozled its nose overforwardly into her face.” There are other similar encounters, such as when the dogs at the Heights come to greet Catherine Earnshaw upon her return from the Lintons. 

I’m sure I’m forgetting points I want to make in these posts. I’ll probably to a larger summary after I complete the book and try to tie together some of the ideas I’ve mentioned. Its also difficult because I keep wanting to bring up things that happen later in the book and I want to make a note of it now - but I’m also trying to reread as impartially as possible. Which is really an impossible task lol. 

@astrangechoiceoffavourites

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Your Headcanon is Valid

@mariaann

I'd also add that there are distinct distinctions between:

(1) Authors always intended X to be true

And

(2) Textual evidence that X is true w/ or w/o explicit authorial intent.

1 is not where biMarco has come from (as the authors have said - this is cool we support this but don't give us any credit for it). 

Instead biMarco is from 2. Both 1 & 2 are valid to read which I say only because some are too married to 1 and deny 2 as valid. I know you know this but many don't.

Starting a new post because it’s off-topic, but I think this is a super-important point about fandom, and a super-important point specifically about queering characters who are not confirmed queer in a canon work.  If Animorphs fans don’t push for Marco to be bi, then the world will assume a straight default for Marco.  If Animorphs fans don’t trumpet a read of Tobias as trans, the world assumes a cis default for Tobias.  Even though canon never says either way.

The authors are awesome; I believe them when they express both regret over the lack of canonically queer characters and joy that the fandom is queering the cast.  BUT as @mariaann said, the authors’ approval is nice but not necessary.

There’s this interesting space, between curative fandom and transformational fandom, that I would describe as “why not?” fandom.  For anyone unfamiliar: curative fandom is collecting details from the canon work and describing them in worshipful exactness.  It’s creating a floor plan for the Blade Ship based on extensive rereadings of interior descriptions, or attempting to construct taxxon grammar from canon utterances alone.  In curative fandom, Canon Is Lord.  Transformational fandom is expanding on and changing the canon work, including through critiques of its shortcomings.  It’s writing fan fiction that unkills your favorite dead character, or drawing the Animorphs as Avatar element-benders.  In transformative fandom, The Author Is Dead.

However, that split is artificial.  Most fans curate and transform.  My own blog has both obsessively detailed charts of Tobias and Rachel’s entire romance, and fan fiction about Tobias dating Marco instead.

And one particularly awesome middle ground is “why not?” fandom, which takes the stance “there’s nothing in canon that contradicts me, and therefore my read is this.”  It’s the fandom space that points out that J.K.R. never says in so many words that Harry and Hermione are white, so no one can stop fans from making them brown.  It’s the “your favorite is X” posts explaining that we have no proof Obi-Wan isn’t trans, and therefore there’s nothing to prevent us headcanoning him that way.  The “why not?” fandom acknowledges that we’re all here because we all love the same story, but allows fans to see themselves in characters after lifetimes of sparse or bad representation.  It gets buy-in from both the canon worshipers and the canon rewriters, with the goal of getting trans Obi-Wan to be as integral to the fandom as Sith Lord Jar Jar.

I do this too, because it’s a great form of compromise.  Tobias notices “Aria” spending an inordinate amount of time picking out dresses and looking in mirrors, and therefore ALLORAN IS GENDERFLUID AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME.  U mad, bro?  Point to the line where canon confirms Alloran as cis.

I’ve mostly been talking about queering characters of ambiguous canon gender/orientation because I’m a white bi enby looking to stay in my own lane.  But a lot of that also applies to ethnicities, disabilities, and other identities that get represented badly or not spoken of at all in one’s favorite works of fiction.  And I really like it, not in the least because it turns the “I’m not racist, I just have respect for the all-white canon work” argument back around on the people making those claims.