#It just feels like a waste of time because it's less learning and more memorizing

[ziekkfreak2-0]

So much stuff I wanna learn, but every time I do, a lil goblin in my head reminds me I have to prioritize my education. I don't even want to learn half the stuff they're teaching us...

[dirkxcaliborn]

bro I hate geometry. I hate memorizing formulas. I hate calculating the dimensions of circles. Graphed lines are on thin fucking ice. The moment it stops feeling like logic puzzles and starts taking on a complex physical world relevance I can't stand that shit.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hazbin Hotel characters react to your stims

(I'm doing my personal favorite characters, so if there are others you wanna see, ask me. They may also be slightly OOC.)

Vox

You can't convince me this man doesn't also have ADHD. He's just spent decades masking it, as well as most of himself, to present a perfect image. Probably heard the term as it got more well known but didn't really connect the dots until meeting you.

He fidgets a lot, tapping his claws, bouncing his legs, can't sit in a fucking chair properly.

Doesn't realize he's overstimulated and burnt out from multi tasking dozens of screens until you point it out.

Once he's aware of it you help him manage his work better so he can be less stimulated and tense. You buy him proper fidget toys to mess with and he makes himself some top of the line bass boosted sound canceling headphones. He gives you a pair, too. When you're both alone, you look up songs with loaded bass in 8d just to watch each other twitch and involuntarily move your head with the sound.

That's about the extent of the conscious level of unmasking he'll do though. He gets self conscious.

But, he adores the fact you're comfortable enough to stim around him. Or in public. He can and will violently end people for even giving you dirty looks for stimming in public.

If you show excitement and joy over being around someone through happy noms he will literally get heart eyes. Just be careful where you bite him because it may lead to something else.

He's happy to let you stim, which means tricking him into doing it more.

He remembers and sub consciously absorbs your echolalias or any word replacements you use. If you do a lot of call and response vocals he learns them. (Call and response is basically when you memorize a sound with two people. One calls the other responds. You can just say both parts yourself ((I do)) but it's more satisfying with someone else).

If you do happy flappies this man will short circuit. (He will laugh if you accidentally smack yourself though).

If you squeal and kick you may give him a heart attack. He thought you were hurt or something. He gets used to it eventually but it still startles him.

Vox is also a chatter box so you two can info dump about special interests to each other for hours. Neither one of you expects the other to remember details, but the fact you don't tell each other to shut up and are content to do your own thing while listening to your partner/friend gush is enough.

He has long since forced himself into strict routines so if you struggle to get tasks started or get distracted in the middle of them he's understanding but stern. Tends to cause more harm than good because he talks down to you unintentionally.

If you're a visual/hands on learner he also gets frustrated with you for wasting hours trying to figure it out yourself and getting yourself upset instead of just letting him do it for you. You get into a lot of fights about it at first. He gets better when he sees it genuinely prevents you from enjoying things or trying new things and that you just kinda default to defeated and helpless. He didn't mean to make you feel dumb, he just doesn't understand why you wouldn't want help. Until the tables turn and as he's getting worked up over something he can't figure out and you just stare at him.

He finally snaps at you what the hell you're doing and you smirk "need help? Why don't I just do it for you and you watch? Come on, you've been struggling for an hour, stop being so stubborn and just let me do it. I'll show you later, it's not hard." You feed his own lines back at him and his stomach drops.

"Oh....that feels...mmmm. Nope! Don't like that. Ok. Won't happen again, doll."

Realistically if you work with him and you make mouth noises a lot (bird whistles, tongue clicks, humming, random shrieks) he will get annoyed. It's distracting him and sometimes you don't realize you're doing it and mess up anything he tries to record. The first few times he snaps at you and it causes problems (hello rejection sensitive dysphoria) but eventually he learns how to better talk to you/communicate without accidentally convincing you he hates you.

Alastor

Probably on the spectrum himself, but it also could just be his anti-social habits. Either way he finds you entertaining and your bouts of sporadic energy and gremlin like behavior don't phase him. He's been dealing with Niffty for years.

If you sing or hum a lot to get work done, or listen to music he's all for it. But if you're the type of ADHD where work fast music=horny and bass he'll insist you wear headphones. If you're content to listen to swing (he'll compromise with electroswing) or jazz, he'll play the radio for you.

He doesn’t even care if you're a good singer or not, he just likes seeing you get into it. Will show off by singing it better than you though.

If you're someone who picks your fingers or skin, he'll slap your hands. You bleeding is making him hungry and distracting him. He'll find you something else to do with your hands. Same with nail biting.

He tends to pull his hair when stressed so if you stim with your hair he gets it and unless it's harmful (eating/pulling) he'll leave it, but if you're like him he's either cutting your hair short or braiding it.

Will die before admitting it but thinks you flapping, hopping, clapping, squealing is the most adorable thing ever. Also, laughs at you if you smack yourself, though.

Doesn't understand your memes so half your echolalia go over his head and he just kinda stares at you.

Scolds you for not sitting in the chair properly.

Smiles, nods, and occasionally says "that's nice dear" when you info dump. It's not that he doesn't care, he just can't listen to something he's not interested in for that long.

Mouth noises make his eye twitch but so long as they don't interrupt him, he won't scold you.

He understands you're not dumb but he also doesn't have the patience to help your or wait for you to get things done so he does them for you and tells you stop pouting when you get upset with him.

He likes you enough to not reject your touch and enjoys being in your space, but please refrain from happy biting the cannibal. He will bite back and it's less cute when he does.

Lucifer

The original AUDHD. You two chatter for hours about special interests.

He makes you stim toys.

You two do the adhd laugh so hard over dumb shit you gotta hold onto and smack each other thing. You both wind up on the floor.

Literally would never talk down to you or trigger your RSD. He's spent centuries feeling like he's constantly annoying, dumb, and struggling to time manage and do tasks.

Is equally fed up with people offering to do things for him because he can do it he just needs help getting started. The more you ask if he wants you to do it or when he's gonna do it the harder it is. So you two just sorta hobble together a system for getting shit done.

It's not perfect but if it gets outta hand he can just snap his fingers and fix it.

He happy flaps with his hands and wings and constantly knocks you or other shit over. It embarrasses him but you're in love. You two sometimes hold hands to do the happy bounce squeal, shaking each other.

He initiates happy bites more than you do. Honestly you both start looking like chew toys.

You two echolali all the time and share new ones you find. If you ever can't find each other, just shout one of your current vocal stims and he'll respond.

Literally, the definition of choas couple.

[fanmoose12]

Hi 💚💜

Hange exploring Levi's body for science purposes blew my mind 😳

But I'm wondering if you plan to write about the kinky thing Hange saw in Mitras & wants to experiment on Levi because it's one of my naughty headcanons 👉👈

I enjoyed reading all your fics on AO3 & I love your works so much ❤️ You're an amazing writer !

Thank you 💚💜

nsfw after the cut!

Two weeks, Hange bought that thing two weeks ago, and it has refused to leave her mind ever since.

It is thick, that thing, fairly long too, with detailed veins that almost make it look real. If Hange didn't know it was simple wood, she herself wouldn't be able to tell the difference. The craftsmanship is remarkable, she doesn't regret for a second wasting half of her month's wages on that purchase.

She can't wait to put it to good use.

At nights and during what brief breaks her work allows her, she imagines Levi in her bed, on his hands and knees, or better yet - on his back, spread underneath her. She imagines how his eyes would shut in pleasure, how he'd try and fail to conceal the whines and moans that escape him, how he would break and start begging her to go faster, harder. How she would laugh and indulge his every wish, watching him unravel beneath her, lose all of his inhibitions.

Hange prepares diligently for her next experiment: reads and rereads the manual she bought at the same shop, takes notes on it and makes sure to hide them well - she's a person people often call shameless, but even she has limits. She memorizes the manual like the back of her hand, learns what and how to do, and what not to do. She's as ready as she can be, but still... Hange stalls.

It's not the same as her experiments with Titans, not at all. The stakes are different, much less grander, and yet - they worry Hange immensely. She can't allow mistakes, Levi is no Titan, he thinks and he feels, and more than hurting him physically, Hange is afraid of hurting him emotionally.

She worries she'll do or say something wrong, something that might offend Levi, might turn him away. And that, as Hange only recently learnt, is the last thing that she wants.

So she stalls and stalls and stalls, dreams but doesn't dare to act on her desires. It's as unusual for her as it is annoying - Hange knows no shame, and she knows that, truthfully, Levi too knows very little of it. He's not just open to experiments, lately, he's begun to initiate them too. Like that thing he did with his tongue, and that time when he told Hange to sit on his face - just a memory of those occasions causes an exciting shiver to run down her spine.

But this, somehow this feels different from their already established routine, more intimate, despite them being intimate many, many times already. What she wants to propose to Levi - it'll require trust, it'll put him in a vulnerable position. Hange isn't sure if Levi's ready for that.

Truthfully, she's not sure if she is ready either.

She hesitates to act, and so she doesn't. She only thinks, thinks, thinks, and one night - Levi finally picks up on it.

He pulls back right in the middle of a kiss, and looks at her, his gaze wary and a little worried. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"Huh?" Hange blinks, finding it hard to focus. "Something's wrong?"

"You're spacing out. More than you usually do. So what's up?"

"Nothing?"

"Four-eyes," Levi warns, and this tone definitely does not make Hange's cunt flutter. "Cut the bullshit. What is it?"

"It's..." she thinks of what she can use as a distraction or a flimsy excuse, but swiftly decides against it. There is no point in it, Levi will see right through her anyway. He always does. It's now or never then. "I bought something," she admits, blush coloring her cheeks, as she chances a look at Levi. The wary expression from before didn't vanish, but now there are hints of curiosity in his eyes too. Hange forces herself to continue. "It's, well, I think it'd be easier to just show you."

Feeling Levi's gaze on her, she reaches out to her bedside table, pulls open the second drawer and takes a box out of it, handing it to Levi.

He opens it slowly, eyebrows rising as he sees what is inside. He says nothing for a moment, and Hange's palms grow sweaty, heart thumping thunderously in her chest.

She wants to backtrack, to laugh it off and pray that Levi'll forget all about it, but she's Hange fucking Zoe. She never runs from anything.

She won't run from Levi too.

"I read that some men enjoy it, and I thought... maybe you'd enjoy it too?"

"Enjoy what exactly?"

Hange takes a deep breath, not flinching as she meets Levi's eyes. "Me fucking you."

"Oh," he breathes out, gaze falling back to the box in his hands. He stares at it, then looks back at Hange. "Alright," he says. "Let's do it."

"What!" Hange can't help her incredulous tone. "You agree?"

"Yes."

"So easily?"

Levi shrugs. "Why not? You obviously know more about these kinds of things than I do. If you say I'll like it, then I probably will."

Hange can't believe it was that easy. Here she was, agonizing about it for weeks, and Levi doesn't even try to argue. He doesn't seem worried too, and that- Hange can't quite believe this too.

Levi is a Scout, and Scouts don't live long if they don't learn to trust their comrades. But there is a huge difference between trusting others with your life during a battle and trusting someone in matters such as this one. There is no danger, there is no need for blind trust, and yet...

Levi trusts her, doesn't doubt her. The revelation makes Hange's heart skip a beat.

"So what should I do?" Levi asks, pulling her back on Earth. "Should I turn around or-"

"No," Hange pats his thigh. "Stay like this."

It'd probably be more easier to do it if Levi was on his hands and knees, but- Hange wants to see his face, to make sure she's doing everything right, and-

She just wants to see his face.

"I need to prepare you first, it might hurt a little, but-"

"Just do it, four-eyes. I don't need constant narration."

"You sure?"

"Yes," he nods. "Just do... whatever it is that you're planning to."

"Alright," Hange smiles, leaning in to leave a brief kiss on his lips. "Lie down then, and... try to relax."

She waits until Levi is on his back, then puts a pillow under his hips, going over the main points of the manual, as she takes out the lube and slicks her fingers with it. She starts with one, traces it around the puckered skin. Levi's breath hitches at that, and Hange can't help the chuckle that escapes her lips.

"Sensitive, aren't you?"

Levi's cheeks redden, but his voice remains even, as he answers, "I guess."

"You've never touched yourself there?"

"Not really."

Hange hums contentedly. "Good, then I'll be the first."

"Weirdo," Levi grunts, but there is no real bite in his tone. Hange smiles at him, wraps her free hand around his thigh, and pushes the first finger inside. It goes in easier than she expected, and Levi's so hot, so tight, she wants to go deeper, but she doesn't rush, pushing barely past the first knuckle.

"You good?" she flicks her eyes up at Levi. He's tense but doesn't look like he's in pain. Still, Hange can't help but worry.

"Yeah," Levi says, his voice breaking at the very end.

Hange's smile turns into a grin and she pushes her finger further, deeper. It has an immediate reaction from Levi. He exhales, shakily, and Hange almost pulls back-

Levi's hand on her wrist stops her.

"Don't you dare," he husks and Hange gets the hint instantly.

She's still careful, gentle, but now she moves more confidently, thrusting her finger in and out with more speed. His cock is hard and swollen, and Hange gives it a few pumps as she adds a second finger.

Levi gasps then, throws his head back, and Hange pauses for a moment to observe him. His face and is flushed, sweat is dripping down his temples, his breaths short and quick, shaky - if that's what just two fingers do to him - Hange can only imagine how he'd look, how he'd sound when she'll finally start fucking him.

"Levi?" she calls, delighting in how it takes him just a bit too long to focus on her. "Are you ready?"

"For wh-"

Hange doesn't let him finish, she thinks she's found the spot and she confirms her guess by pressing on it. Levi's back arches, his hips bucking, as a moan escapes him.

Ha! His tonight's first moan, and- definitely not the last one.

"Good?" Hange asks, just to hear Levi groan, "Fuck, so good."

Now that she knows her goal, Hange sets a steady pace, unraveling Levi one thrust at a time. She adds a third finger, spreads them out, and Levi keens, pushing his hips forward.

"Someone's desperate," Hange chuckles, pushing her free hand between her own legs. She's soaked down there, so wet that just a flick against her clit makes her moan. She rubs it hard a few times, as fast as she thrusts in Levi, and then pulls her hand back. She takes her fingers out of Levi too, mesmerized by the sight of his stretched, glistening hole.

She reaches out for the dildo, slicking it with more lube, puts the harness on and wraps her hands around Levi's thighs.

"You sure?" she asks again, just in case.

Levi huffs a curse and brings her closer, pulling Hange into a kiss that's all tongue and heat. "Do I look like I'm not ready four-eyes?"

Hange laughs and presses the tip of the dildo against him. Levi takes a deep breath, tensing, and Hange leans over, leaving a trail of kisses along his jaw and stroking his cheek with a thumb.

"If something's wrong-"

"Fucking hell!" Levi cries out, the glare he gives Hange truly impressive for someone, whose cock's so hard. "If you don't fuck me, I'll ride that thing myself."

"So impatient," Hange rolls her eyes, but stops stalling and starts to slowly slip inside Levi. His breathing grows more labored as she does, but he doesn't stop her, and Hange continues sliding deeper.

She sees the moment when her cock rubs against his prostate. His eyes squeeze shut, his mouth opens to let out a loud groan.

"Fuck," he breathes out, gripping Hange by her shoulders. She stops, letting him adjust, and when Levi meets her eyes, giving her a nod, she begins to move again.

She's slow at first, tries to be careful, gentle. Levi's having none of it.

"Are you falling asleep up there?" he asks, and really, Hange will never understand how he manages to sound so grumpy even when he's obviously so aroused. "Why are you so slow? If I fucked you like this-"

Hange doesn't let him finish, cuts him off by pulling out of him completely and immediately pushing in, delivering a particularly hard and deep thrust. The rest of whatever Levi wanted to say to her gets drowned out by his moan.

Oh, so that's how one should treat moody Levi. Hange grins. Perhaps, she'll fuck all grumpiness out of him after all.

"Do you need me to go faster?" she asks.

"Yes!"

"Do you need me to go harder?"

"Yes, fuck, yes!"

"Yes what?" she prompts, reaching over to steal the whine that slips out Levi's mouth.

"Yes, please."

Hange smiles victoriously, giving Levi another kiss, before she sets on fucking him hard and fast, just as he asked her to. She wants to pull back, to grab his hips and give him her best, but Levi doesn't let her, he wraps a hand around the back of her head and presses her closer to him, blindly searching for her lips. Hange gives them to him, just as she gives him her cock, just as she'd give whatever else he'd ask of her.

Levi's kisses are sloppy, messy, frequently interrupted by moans and cute little whimpers. Hange reveals in all of it. Reveals in the way he clenches around her, in the way he touches her, grabbing whatever of her that he can and squeezing tightly, desperately, in the way he looks at her - with pupils blown so wide they appear nearly black.

She snakes a hand between their bodies, puts it on Levi's cock, starts to pump it in a pace of her thrusts, and Levi loses it completely. He throws his head back, shuts his eyes closed.

"Fuck," he pants, "Fuck, Hange, you're so-"

Hange chuckles, sweeping his sweaty bangs from his forehead to press a kiss there. "I know."

"Asshole," he huffs, but Hange puts a stop to that attitude immediately by aiming her next thrust right against his prostate. The moan he gives her is rough and loud and so damn hot that Hange wants to stow away that sound in a bottle, to keep it in her memory forever.

"I'm close, Hange, I'm so fucking close, I-"

"Go ahead," Hange encourages, tightening her hand around his cock. "Come for me, Levi."

Levi's back arches, his mouth opens in a silent scream, and he's cumming, shooting over his stomach and chest.

Hange watches him with wide, bright eyes, rocking her hips slightly to bring him through his orgasm, before pulling out.

When Levi comes down from it, he meets Hange's eyes and whispers, "Fuck."

Hange grins. The experiment was a definite success.

[wispythreads]

O'Rin of the Water was the final push this game made for me where they made it obvious that "No, you need to parry," so I needed to switch from my broken controller back to keyboard and mouse.

Doing that did make the fight more of "oh okay I am learning" and less of "why do I keep throwing myself at this I keep dying at the same exact point" so that was nice but still. Jeez her fight felt weird considering how I'd been approaching these encounters with the parry mechanic tied behind my back.

Now I've been kinda just. Banging my head against the wall trying to figure out how I'm supposed to be tactfully approaching the Corrupted Monk?

I tried my original approach on controller first (i.e. dodge out of the way of their strikes then go after the actual health during a window of opportunity), but she swaps out which specific swinging motion she's going to hit me with so often that it feels like it's specifically designed against how I've been memorizing attack patterns and then exploiting weak points up until this point. I try to dodge in a way that worked before with a previous series of motions, and she does every motion the same except for the very last one, taking a huge chunk of my health out and staggering Wolf, which can then end up lining me right up for getting hit with yet another change to her motion if she decides to be cruel and go for that as well.

So I thought, okay, maybe it's like O'Rin of the Water again and I really do have to just use the parry mechanic to get past this miniboss.

But then I try that and yeah I'm parrying okay, but her posture replenishes so much faster than Wolf's, so when I need to take a step back to let him cool down and/or replenish health she's almost instantly back to where she started. Sometimes I don't even need to take a step back, it's just in the small space of time between me parrying her last attack or the last time I managed to get a hit in on her that it's completely restored. It honestly feels like it's meant to be the opposite of O'Rin's fight, where trying to take her down through the posture route is impossible and you have to whittle her health down instead.

I tried looking online for a way to beat her but the tactic I found was a way to cheese her fight? Summing it up, whittle her health down a little bit by getting the free hits in at the start, run around the arena until she starts to leap at you, run towards her to avoid getting hit by the leap and be in position to get two strikes in before running around the arena, repeat, now instead of running around the arena use fireworks to stun her and then two strikes, repeat till dead.

Which also just. Doesn't work. Because I'll try to run at her when she leaps like the guy says but somehow I end up getting caught in her range, even though I'm moving exactly the way he does. I try to get the two hits in on her health but the second one is always hitting against her posture instead. And it just seems really wasteful to keep trying to use the fireworks even though they work because those are consumable resources that I used to have a lot of, before I tried to cheese O'Rin of the Water on remote with multiple Sabimaru strikes, and I can't get the other two parts of the plan to reliably work.

I don't know, I'm guessing the answer is going to just amount to the usual "Get Good" of these Dark Soul type games, I'm just trying to figure out what the angle of "Get Good" I'm supposed to be practicing for is.

[sophiamcdougall]

As someone who used to "give writing advice" professionally and sometimes used to get similar counter-arguments ("But Dickens did x!) ... We have lots of 19th century novels. We do not have any 19th century readers. If you reproduce 19th century tropes straightforwardly now, your book will usually sound mannered and strained and like you haven't read -- or at best aren't interested in thinking about -- anything that's happened in literature post 1920. Yes, maybe you've got a striking modern take on a literary device that's fallen out of favour and is due for revival! Just ... mostly people who are going to achieve something like that won't pull it off in their first book. If this is not your first book, the advice probably isn't aimed at you. No, protagonists do not need to be "likeable". Yes, some of the most memorable characters in both contemporary and classic literature are objectively awful people. It's just that "likeable" is the easy mode of "engaging." "Fascinating asshole" is absolutely possible, but usually takes more skill and experience to achieve than "adequately agreeable." If you keep getting suggestions that your protagonist should be more likeable ... it is possible that the underlying, less-than-constructively-phrased diagnosis is probably that they are both unpleasant and boring, and that it does not currently read as if you are in control of those things. Same goes for "your character should change" no, they don't necessarily have to! But that is a fairly reliable route towards the end goal of "“Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted”, as Vonnegut put it, which you probably do want. Of course, sometimes people giving this advice aren't applying it judiciously, are spouting it by rote without paying due attention to what your story is actually trying to achieve, and sometimes they just aren't the right reader for your story. Occasionally they may even be reading perversely and maliciously. All of these things can happen! And if applying any of this feels like a total betrayal of the story you want to tell and would kill your interest in it then no, of course you shouldn't. But if you are learning a skill (again, if you're already experienced and proficient -- it's not aimed at you! But a skilled cook should not resent the existence of cookbooks just because they no longer need to refer to them!) you are going to have problems. Certain problems are very common, and these are the easiest, "try-this-first" "have you tried turning it off and on again" fixes for them. That's all it is.

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls Extra 1

- ao3 -

Lan Xichen spent a lot of time learning his family’s rules.

They were important to his uncle, who raised him, and that meant that they were important to him. They were his heritage and his birthright, and anyway he loved his uncle and it made him happy which was good enough for Lan Xichen, but that didn’t make learning them easy or anything. Each rule had to be learned both by itself and in context with others; it wasn’t as simple as memorizing a list and calling it done. You had to learn them and know them and then live up to them to the best of your ability, and that was the work of a lifetime – which Lan Xichen, now six years old, had been informed was an awful long time.

Moreover, though his uncle had never said so, Lan Xichen had heard from the other people in the sect that learning the rules was important because following the rules would make sure he didn’t turn out like his father, who had let down so many people in their sect. Many of the elders said things like that when his uncle wasn’t around, though his uncle never did – his uncle spoke well of their father, although in abstract tones, but sometimes he looked sad about it, too, and therefore Lan Xichen was determined to listen and learn the rules well so that he would never disappoint his uncle the way his father had.

Of course, there were other advantages to learning the rules.

The commentary, for instance.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1

Talking behind other people's backs is prohibited.

“Unless it’s really funny,” Lan Yueheng said, and – as always – seemed not to notice the way Lan Xichen’s uncle glared at him. “Oooh, actually, let me give you an example, I just heard the best story –”

-

“If you don’t understand those around you, you will be at their mercy, rather than they at yours,” Wen Ruohan said, perfectly poised and with a sharp smirk, just the way he always was unless he happened to be talking to Lan Xichen’s uncle. “How better to learn to understand people than to know what others say about them when they are not around?” His smirk widened. “Look at what people say about me.”

-

“What are you supposed to do if you don’t?” Lao Nie asked, grinning wickedly. “Say mean things about them in front of their faces instead? I can do that!”

-

“I mean, if it’s news, it’s not gossip, right?” Cangse Sanren said, tapping her cheek while pretending to be thoughtful as if it would hide her great big smile. “I’m sure that’s how I learned it, and I was a very good student – no, no, don’t listen to what your uncle says!”

-

“Well, I wish my mother would do less of it,” Wen Xu said, rolling his eyes. He’d come along to visit with his father again the way he always did – he was always tagging along with his father, really, and his father indulged him more often than he probably should, according to both sects’ elders. Not that Wen Ruohan listened to anyone but Lan Xichen’s uncle. “Sometimes I think that’s all she does! It’s boring!”

-

“If you mean what you say and say what you mean, then your friends will never doubt you whether you are in front of them or not,” Nie Mingjue said, then frowned. “I mean, I think?”

-

“Listen to A-Jue,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said when Lan Xichen reported on the discussions, throwing up his hands in disgust. “He’s the only one of the lot of them worth anything.”

“It’s his mother’s contribution,” Lao Nie opined.

“It’s certainly not yours,” Wen Ruohan said. “Anyway, what was wrong with A-Xu’s answer? It was accurate.”

“It has nothing to do with the rule!”

“That’s because I’ve already mastered it years ago,” Wen Xu said cheerfully. Surprisingly cheerfully, given that Nie Mingjue was sitting on him again; maybe he’d gotten used to Nie Mingjue always winning.

Lan Xichen’s uncle rubbed his forehead. “A-Xu, if you really want to go copy the rules on humility a few more times, you don’t have to wait for me to instruct you to do so –”

“He’s right, though,” Cangse Sanren cackled from her husband’s lap. “Madame Wen is an amazing source of gossip, but it does get a bit boring sometimes. You can’t punish him for being right!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2

Do not succumb to rage.

“Unless there’s a very good reason,” Lao Nie said, picking Lan Xichen up in one arm as if he weighed as little as a feather, and Nie Mingjue in the other just as easily, even though he was much bigger. “In the world there are many injustices, and it is your duty to fight against them with everything that you have – if you are wholly above the feeling of rage, then you have forgotten your empathy, and soon will follow the crooked path into indifference.”

-

“The issue is succumbing to rage,” Wen Ruohan said. “You can be angry, or even furious, but you should always maintain your self-control. Once you’ve mastered yourself, you can master others.”

-

“He means get revenge,” Wen Xu said knowledgably. “You get angry, then you get even.”

-

“Oh, rage?” Cangse Sanren asked, rolling up her sleeves. “Well, as it happens, I’m going to go have a chat with your mother, I’ll give you a good demonstration of –”

“You are doing no such thing,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said, exasperated. “Get back here.”

-

“It’s a waste of time,” Lan Yueheng said. “Getting angry takes time and energy. Why not be happy instead?” He thought about it. “Well, I mean, sometimes cursing a little bit when something goes wrong is nice. Even the calmest concoction needs to blow off steam sometimes to retain its equilibrium!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3

Do not disrespect your elders.

“And I,” Wen Ruohan said, looking positively gleeful, “am the eldest.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said at once. “Xichen, you hear me? Don’t listen to him.”

-

“There’s a difference between disrespect and disobedience,” Cangse Sanren said. “Being old doesn’t mean being right, it means that there’s a greater probability that they’ve encountered something in their lifetime that will give them an insight you lack. You should honor and respect their insight, but always make your own decisions in the end.”

-

“I mean, you could always listen to me, instead,” Lao Nie said. “I’m your elder too, aren’t I?”

-

“Don’t listen to either Uncle Wen or my father,” Nie Mingjue said, looking long-suffering. “They both like to play tricks.”

-

“Wait,” Lan Yueheng said. “I’m an elder? Since when? That’s a terrible idea!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4

Do not take advantage of your position to oppress others.

“Don’t listen to Wen Ruohan,” Cangse Sanren said.

-

“Don’t listen to Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Yueheng said.

-

“Definitely do not listen to Hanhan,” Lao Nie said. “At all. In any way.”

-

“Probably best not to listen to A-Xu’s dad,” Nie Mingjue said, and glanced over apologetically.

“No, no, you’re right,” Wen Xu said, nodding furiously. “He’s kind of awful about these sorts of things.”

-

“They’re all being absolutely ridiculous,” Wen Ruohan said. “I’m perfectly reliable on such matters. After all, what’s the point of working so hard to obtain and maintain power if you don’t oppress those that deserve it? If you don’t take advantage, who will?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

5

Do not make assumptions about others.

“I used to assume that Cangse Sanren was  a normal human being,” Lan Yueheng said. “Goes to show what I know, right?”

-

“I used to assume that Wen Ruohan was a perfectly normal self-absorbed murderer that would keep his greedy hands to his own people,” Cangse Sanren said, sounding irritable. “And not have perfectly ordinary rogue cultivators followed around by complete weirdos because he’s secretly worried about them like a mother hen!”

-

“I used to assume that people would be grateful when someone rescued them and their husband from near certain death,” Wen Ruohan said.

-

“I used to assume that the funniest thing in the world was watching Hanhan argue with your uncle,” Lao Nie said, chin on his hands. “Little did I know that adding Cangse Sanren to the mix made it even funnier.”

-

“Grown-ups are stupid sometimes,” Wen Xu said. “That’s why you have to verify everything they say for yourself.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6

Embrace the entirety of the world.

“By being righteous,” Nie Mingjue said.

-

“By taking it all over, as far as I can tell from my father,” Wen Xu said.

-

“Depends on what you define as the world, doesn’t it?” Lao Nie said.

-

“Be ambitious,” Wen Ruohan said. “Define it broadly.”

-

“I mean, I don’t think your arms are quite long enough yet, the world’s pretty big,” Lan Yueheng said. “But I pick you up and swing you around, maybe they’ll stretch a little. Want to try?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7

Do not associate with evil.

“I mean, it’s true, but you have to think carefully about what you categorize as evil,” Lao Nie said. “Just being a man-eating nation-destroying inhuman amoral nine-tailed fox isn’t automatically enough to qualify, right?”

-

“That’s, uh, a really weirdly specific example,” Lan Yueheng said. “I feel like at least three of the things on that list probably rise to the level of evil? Or have I missed something?”

-

“Lao Nie said – oh no, not again,” Wen Ruohan said, and patted Lan Xichen on the head before he stalked out the door. “I’m the only evil you should associate with, you hear me?”

-

“I bet she’s got teeth in interesting places,” Cangse Sanren said. “I’ve got to meet her…hmm? Evil? Does that really matter? It’s going to be funny.”

-

“She’s not evil,” Nie Mingjue said. “She’s pretty nice, actually. She calls me ‘meatball’ and ‘pork bun’ and says I’m so cute that she wants to eat me right up.”

-

“I’m pretty sure she means it literally,” Wen Xu said. “Gear up, Xichen! We’ve got to go save Mingjue!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

8

Do not tell lies.

“People don’t believe the truth, so why not tell it?” Cangse Sanren said.

-

“Using the truth makes your misdirections more believable and your critiques more devastating,” Wen Ruohan said.

-

“Why would you even want to lie?” Nie Mingjue asked, puzzled.

-

“There’s a difference between not telling lies and not having the slightest bit of tact,” Lao Nie said, rubbing his face. “Maybe you can help A-Jue figure that out.”

-

“Silence is always a good alternative when you don’t want to admit to stuff you’ve done that maybe, just maybe, might annoy some people,” Lan Yueheng said, looking over his collapsed laboratory with a wince. “Not that I’d know anything about that, of course.”

-

“Telling a lie will only get you into more trouble later when they figure it out,” Wen Xu said. “Because then they’re angry at you for what you did and for lying about it. It’s just not worth it!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9

Do not disregard the rules.

“Unless they’re really stupid,” Lao Nie said.

-

“I mean,” Nie Mingjue said, wrinkling his nose. “As a general rule, yes. But it’s different if following the rules would permit injustice to happen, that’s for sure.”

-

“It’s a matter of picking what rule is the relevant one,” Wen Ruohan said. “Be thoughtful, and you can have the moral high ground in any situation…your uncle is irritatingly good at that.”

-

“You’ve got to know what the rule is before you break it,” Wen Xu said. “That way you can decide if it’s worth the cost of breaking it or not.”

-

“If there’s any you think are wrong, you should say something,” Lan Yueheng said. “The rules are a gift handed down from our ancestors and ought to be respected, but each of us has a duty to put in our own thoughts as well – our contribution to the next generation down. Anyway, your uncle will probably be able to put together a reasonable argument as to why changing the rule is appropriate and truer to our sect’s principles than the version carved on the wall. He’s good at that!”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

10

“I want the rules to be a foundation under your feet,” Lan Xichen’s uncle said. “They should give you confidence in your actions and pride in your family and sect; they should not feel like they are binding you. If they are, you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

Maybe if it was just Lan Xichen and his uncle, the two of them and maybe also little baby Lan Wangji and the rather unreliable Lan Yueheng and the even more unreliable Lao Nie, Lan Xichen would immediately and unhesitatingly agree, and then never say anything anyway no matter what he felt. He loved his uncle so much, and every one in a while his uncle seemed so sad; he couldn’t bear to be the one to add more pain and burden to his uncle’s shoulders, already weighed down with the expectations of the sect that should have been his father’s responsibility and would one day be Lan Xichen’s.

But it wasn’t just them, and Lan Xichen frowned a little, really thinking about it. “Maybe,” he said after a while. “Or maybe I’d tell Uncle Wen about it, and then he’d find a way to fix it, or to tell you about it in a way that didn’t make you sad. Does that work, too?”

His uncle looked amused.

“Yes,” he said. “That works. Just remember –”

“Don’t listen to him about ‘oppressing others’?”

“Exactly.”

[deepbluexocean]

Even though he had just met this guy, and even though that meeting had taken place in unusual circumstances, there was something about his manner that calmed Ocean. Aristotle was a lot different from Ocean on the surface. While Ocean was awkward and not memorable in the slightest, Aristotle was just...cool, or at least Ocean thought so. He had this quality about him that made him feel different from the people Ocean usually spent time with, and even though he still felt awkward, Ocean was also glad to be getting time to talk to the other man. And it really felt like Aristotle really understood how Ocean felt, and that helped put him at ease too. "So you understand," he replied quietly, feeling just a little bit less awkward. "And you'd think with that trouble finding people like us so often, we'd be used to it by now and would better know how to get ourselves out of it, but that's not how it is, at least not for me. It's just like the new trouble piles on top of the other trouble that was already there, layer upon layer, and then I feel like it's just...crushing me." As soon as he was done saying this, Ocean's face burned again. "I don't know why I said all of that stuff," he said softly. "Sometimes I ramble too," Ocean added, eyes downcast.

But then he looked back up at Aristotle, smiling a little. "I couldn't just leave it," Ocean told the man. "How could anyone?" He had seen the cat and saw it needed help, and Ocean hadn't even thought about it. "It was all alone." It was pretty clear that Aristotle wasn't going to take no for an answer, and besides, Ocean found that he wanted to accept the man's offer, if only so they could keep talking. Even though Forest was here with him in Cardinal Hill, Ocean was still lonely sometimes, so whenever he could talk to someone and actually feel somewhat good about it, he was going to take it (and hope he didn't ruin it). "Alright, but maybe next time I can pay?" Ocean said before he could overthink it. Here he was assuming Aristotle would want to hang out with him again, but maybe he would. For now though, Ocean would have a milkshake with Aristotle, and he smiled, giving him a little nod.

"Yeah, my family is really close," Ocean confirmed. "I miss them. It was hard to leave, but..." He trailed off, unsure of how to explain why he had left when most of the people he loved were on the commune. Finally Ocean told Aristotle, "It was harder to stay." There were so many other things Ocean could have said, but Aristotle was new, and Ocean wasn't about to dump all of his problems on the guy. And besides, Ocean barely knew how to talk about the way that he felt anymore. Whenever he tried, he always felt like he was wasting the other person's time; why would they even want to listen to him? "Different how?" he asked. Maybe that was a little bit of a personal question, but Ocean had asked it, so he just had to hope that he hadn't gotten too personal.

What scared Ocean about riding the motorcycle wasn't the motorcycle part - it was having such close contact with Aristotle, and man he'd just met who was also kind of intimidating, though it wasn't because of anything the man was doing. It just felt like he had lived a lot of life, knew things, the opposite of Ocean basically. And besides, physical contact was always kind of a tricky thing with Ocean - it depended on the person really. But this was happening, and the last thing Ocean wanted was the go flying off the back of Aristotle's motorcycle. Even with the playful way that the man was explaining the best way to stay safe, Ocean didn't feel like he was being condescending or mocking him; it felt more like the way friends might tease each other. Was Aristotle going to be a new friend? Maybe...though Ocean had learned to not hope for anything like that. "Okay," he replied when Aristotle was done explaining, and he tightened his grip around the man's waist. "I'm ready whenever you are."

Aris couldn’t help but smile at Ocean’s awkwardness. There was something endearing about the way the guy seemed to trip over himself, as if the world was always pulling him into trouble. It reminded Aris a little of how his own life used to feel—chaotic, always on the verge of spiraling out of control. Though, he was never awkward - just a punk.

"Sounds like you and I have that in common," Aris said, his tone light . "Trouble just... finds us sometimes. But you didn’t chase that cat into danger. You tried to help, and that’s what matters." He gave Ocean a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, noticing how tense he was. Aris knew the feeling—the instinct to pull away, to protect yourself—. "Trust me, man, I've seen people cause a lot more damage while not trying to help."

When Ocean mentioned the milkshake, Aris chuckled. "No, that doesn’t sound stupid at all. Sometimes, it’s the little things, y’know? When everything’s going wrong, something as simple as a milkshake can make it feel like there’s still something good. That’s not dumb—that’s just finding your own kind of magic in the middle of a mess."

As Ocean continued to struggle with accepting his offer, Aris felt a flicker of something familiar—a reluctance to take credit, to believe he deserved anything good. It reminded him of his younger self, back when he thought he had to earn every bit of affection or help, as if it came with a price. "Listen, I’m buying the milkshake. You don’t owe me anything. Just enjoy it. So, shut up and accept it, yeah?"

Aris smiled when Ocean started talking about his family and their nature-themed names. It sounded so different from his own upbringing—chaotic but full of warmth. "Ocean, huh? That’s a pretty cool name. Your family sounds... close," Aris commented, a hint of wistfulness present. "Mine was... different." He didn’t offer more than that, but his thoughts drifted to his mom, Keyelin, and her own wild spirit, her way of seeing the world as a place of beauty even when it wasn’t.

When Ocean hesitated about where to put his arms, Aris grinned, amused but not unkind. "Yeah, you’re gonna want to hold on," he said, glancing back at him with a smirk. "I’m fast, and I don’t want you flying off the back of the bike."

Aris felt Ocean’s loose grip around his waist and chuckled softly. “Nah, you’re gonna need to hold on tighter than that, Ocean.” He reached down and gently tightened Ocean’s arms around his waist, making sure his passenger was secure. “There we go. Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall off, but you gotta help me out a little here.”

With a playful tone, he gave a mock-serious safety overview. “Alright, quick lesson on being a good backpack on a motorcycle. First rule: hold on tight. None of this half-hearted shit, or you’ll be eating pavement, and trust me, it’s not as tasty as that milkshake we’re about to get.”

He turned his head slightly, grinning. “Second rule: lean with me, not against me. If I lean left, you lean left. We’re a team now, gotta move like one. And third rule…” He glanced back, eyes gleaming with amusement. “No screaming in my ear, unless you see a cat we actually need to save.”

Satisfied that Ocean was secure, Aris revved the engine, the familiar hum of the bike sending a thrill through him. "Ready?"

[coconut-tree-cafe]

Study Notes: Making pacts with demons! Headcanon

This is so nerdy and long and stupid but here it is my dumb headcanon for what being in pacts with the demon bros would be like plus some other pact headcanons (since i love pacts)

(I know some of these things contradict each other, lol especially since MC has pacts with everyone… just imagine they cancel each other out)

General

Making a pact with a demon means a lot of things, but there are two types of powers in a human/demon pact.

Direct power refers to immediate and physical power over the demon and includes; summoning, power redistribution, and commands

Indirect power refers to gradual and intangible power that influences both the human and demon and includes; mental and physical influence, uniform life influences and telepathy

A powerful bond vs. a weak bond between the human and demon shows in the pact immensely, the two in a pact must be very close for the pact to be up to its full potential. 

Those in a powerful pact can read each other's minds, have a general sense of where the other is and what they are doing

The pact mark that is formed on both parties' physical bodies is only visible when the pact is being invoked/used.

A human in a human/demon pact is less susceptible to that demon's powers. 

Lucifer

You don’t make a pact with Lucifer, Lucifer makes a pact with you.

Although you have control over him with commands he has far more influence on you than you do him

He is very old and very powerful, a normal human wouldn’t even be able to handle being in  a pact with him. Not that they’d ever have the chance to be in one with him

You will find yourself to be more confident, you’ll be more assertive and pragmatic

If you were ever getting messed with at school by lower level demons, you won’t be anymore. Either by the change in your general air or if you were messed with while in a pact with Lucifer those demons' lives are over.

You will now have the energy of people who are described as having an ‘old soul.’

Even if you were in an intimate relationship with Lucifer before forging a pact with him, the way he treats you afterwards is far different.

He will be far more possessive as well as far more lenient with you. He understands you on a deeper level with a pact, and finds it easier to forgive you for any rule breaking.

The biggest benefit of having Lucifer in a pact is having one of the strongest fallen angels known to man in your arsenal, and he will back you up till the end of time.

Mammon

Ironically, you will find a lot of material possessions coming your way and just a general luck with money.

You’ll have more luck gambling, be better at bartering and finding deals (insert Skyrim level up noise)

You may notice you’re craving materials and money however

Mammon wastes no time telling every crow friend of his how much he likes you, and word spreads fast

If you’re ever alone outside you will always have a crow friend nearby to keep you company

They also bring you little goodies, the same way they bring things to Mammon

Mammon is also extraordinarily generous with you, he puts you first in every decision he makes. He makes sure you eat first, you sit down before him, you get the first share of everything. 

You will find yourself thinking about him more than often. This is mostly because you are always on his mind and through the pact you share similar thoughts. 

To your surprise, you also find yourself endowed in a veil of humility in every action you make. Mammon’s good nature rubs off on you.

Leviathan

Levi’s pact has more of an impact on him than it does on you. He will begin to be more and more like you, however you may be.

He will reflect your emotions of that day, not enough to abandon his own agency but if you’re in a particularly good mood then he will have a little pep in his step as well.

You will find yourself having razor sharp focus, like Levi. Through the power of envy or some other force you will be able to power through things for hours on end just to complete them.

Along with your enhanced concentration on things you work on, you also become more keen to others mannerisms around you. You may find yourself noticing insignificant motions people make more, what you think of them is up to you. 

Cue you and Levi gaming for 12 hours straight.

You get more competitive and more materialistic as well. 

In terms of physical attributes, you can hold your breath underwater for longer and you need less time awake to function but you also get cold more easily. 

Satan

Ever have the need to read a book before? Because you better be prepared for that.

Since your emotions are linked in a way, when he wants to sit down and read so do you. And he does that a lot

You may find yourself learning things a bit faster than usual, if it took you 3 or 4 reads to memorize something now it will take 1 or 2.

You can read faster and comprehend more as well as apply the knowledge you gained to your real life more easily.

Because you are now tethered to Satan, and Satan is tethered to Lucifer’s emotions, you understand Lucifer a little bit better. (Unless you are already in a pact with Lucifer)

Satan is a hard book to read (lol) but when you forge a pact with him you find it much easier to tell what he’s thinking.

As a virtue of being in a pact with Satan you now feel much more passionate about things.

Like Satan himself, passion is at his very core so you definitely feel that.

But, along with that you also are easily annoyed by things that you’d normally be indifferent about.

If you get angry you find it MUCH harder to control yourself physically, you may throw things or bang your fist on a table. 

Reach out to Satan to help you control your anger, as he has already learned how. But it will always be an uphill battle for both of you.

Asmodeus

You will now have a greater ability to understand others emotions. Through their eyes, the way they are moving their hands or swaying on their feet you can read them like a book.

You also find it easier to empathize with those emotions.

On top of that you have a greater appreciation for physical beauty, almost everyone you meet is appealing to you in one way or another because you can see their beauty (at least what feels like more than before).

Your natural appeal will increase, you may find yourself surrounded by more people than normal just by virtue of being so approachable and attractive in spirit and body.

Be prepared to be a bit more excitable than before. People will respond to your charisma more and you respond to theirs more. 

If you are someone who feels lust then you will for sure be feeling a lot more sexually driven, at least more than usual.

Your skin is also very clear from here on out

Beelzebub

You might expect to be more hungry, but that’s not the case. You feel the same as you did before but when you eat you always feel like you can have more. 

You can feel full but that doesn’t stop you from being able to eat more. 

For some reason as soon as you forge a pact with Beel he dotes on you A LOT. Expect a lot of physical affection.

You will probably be the only person he would share his food with, except maybe Belphie. 

Beel may seem a little dense sometimes but he has the most empathy of any of the brothers. 

You in turn will feel the grief and sorrow of the brothers as well as their collective happiness when you enter a pact with Beel.

Beel is like a rock, he’s stable and secure and very steadfast in his emotions. Of course he’s passionate (about food) but he is overall very mentally mature and down to Earth.

This will be reflected in you when you forge a pact with him, you find it easier to maintain a level head even during situations that you ordinarily would be a bit riled up by. 

Belphegor

Two words. Vivid dreams.

The same night you enter a pact with Belphegor you will undergo what feels like life-like dreams and not the mention they are long

They are numerous and intense, but if Belphegor likes you he will ensure that they are pleasant and relaxing. You will get a good night's rest every night, Belphie makes sure of it.

Belphegor is like Beel in that he’s calm, he’s a simple guy with simple desires.

However, if Beel is to be described as calm then Belphie is to be described as indifferent, which rubs off on you. 

A negative to a pact with Belphie is that things you may have felt passionate about before you feel slightly less so.

You won’t necessarily feel more tired, you just sleep longer and way harder than normal

Making a pact with a human is very serious to Belphie, you have to mean a lot to him so expect a powerful and intense pact

[thewritetofreespeech]

just read your psycho pass hcs {great btw!} and I need that kogami x reader training scenario in my life! straight or nsfw if you're comfortable with it.

Yes! Yes! Yes! So much yes!!

I went ahead and did both. Sexy is under the cut. I tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible up top but (spoiler alert) it’s fem!reader below. Enjoy!

Kogami Shinya x Reader + Training

The loud, painful sound of your butt hitting the mat echoed through the training gym as you were thrown into the soft surface once again.

"Geez Kogami! You could try to take it easy on me!!" You whine as you rub your backside. Though the mats were softer than the floor, they didn't add that much protection. Coupled with the fact that your ass had been thrown into them more time than you could count at this point, you were going to be sore in the morning.

"Some latent isn't going to take it easy on you in the field." He replied. Serious as ever. Almost seeming miffed you asked for leniency. "You need to be ready for anything when the time comes."

“I’m fine with combatives.” You insist from your spot on the ground. “I just can’t beat you. Cause you have all this training, and built like a superhero, and have all those big muscles-“Don’t change the subject.” Kogami interrupted. Being a brilliant detective, he knows what you’re trying to do.

“Besides,” you continue after a defeated sigh, “it doesn’t matter. I’m not in the field without my Dominator. I can pop off a shot before anyone gets close.”

“Dominator malfunction all the time. Shots miss.”

“I don’t miss.” You insist. Your turn to be miffed.

You’re a better shot than Kogami any day of the week, and he knows it. You have the higher range score out of the two of you. Plus you’re to only one currently on the team long range certified. To imply that you would miss is an insult.

He seems to get that he’d stepped over the line and let out a heavy sigh before pushing his hair back. “I just want you to be ready.” Kogami said. Offering you his hand to help you on your feet. One good jerk and you were back up in front of him, looking into his eyes. Seeing his concern. “I can’t be with you all the time in the field. I know you’re strong. Level headed. But things….they don’t follow the system when you’re in the middle of it.” His vision seemed to cloud for a moment, and you know he’s gone some place bad in that moment, before he comes back to you. “I just want you to be safe.”

You sigh. Defeated. You know this is important to him, and it’s obvious why. He’s extremely protective of you. Unfortunately for Kogami, you’ve both chosen a life that is inherently dangerous. The long-term survival rate for Enforcers was shaky at best. He’s trying to delay the inevitable the one way he knows how.

“Ok. Well, I think I have one more round in me.” You take a step back from Kogami, who seemed surprised, and stretch out your arms before you get into stance. “But this is the last one. After this, we do what I want to do and get frozen yogurt in the caf.”

The dark haired Enforcer smirked and dropped into stance as well. Apparently not dignifying that with a response.

The two of you spar again for a few minutes, and realize that you have picked up on somethings. Kogami is physically stronger and more skilled, but you are more flexible and wily. He’s clearly trying not to hurt you, which is an advantage you can’t let go of. When you lock in a grapple, face-to-face, you struggle for a moment before headbutting Kogami. He let out a noise of pain and obviously staggered. You seize the moment to get your foot between his legs and trip him. This time Kogami’s butt making the loud sound on the mat in the gym as you pin him.

You look down at him, arm braced against his neck, and break out into a huge grin from on top of him. You did it! You finally did it!

You were about to break out into a chant of those exact words when Kogami grabbed you and flipped you over onto the mat quick as a flash. The move made your world spin. To the point that it took you a moment to refocus on Kogami on top of you. His expression wild, with a mixture of pride and hunger as he looked down at you. His gaze making you squirm against the mat.

Suddenly, he surged forward. You half expect him to kiss you, or head butt you in retaliation; either was a possibility with Kogami. He stopped, however, just before sealing your lips. His body straining it seemed to not finish the movement. “My room.”

You blink. Not sure why he stopped. Then he lifted up and his eyes dart over to the corner where one of the cameras were. Oh, right. You’re still in a public portion of the facility, where your movements are being watched and recorded, and it would be a bad idea to do anything here.

The two of you get up from the floor, Kogami taking a moment to adjust his pants, before you hastily leave the gym. 

His room is closer. Which was probably why he had chosen it and why he was choosing it now. You’re at his door in a matter of minutes with how fast you’re walking, and with a quick punch of the key pad your inside. The door had barely slid closed all the way before Kogami had you pinned against it. The metal making a loud sound, but one you can’t seem to care about over the loud sound of your kissing.

It’s hot, and messy, and fast. Fueled with the adrenaline from your sparing match, Kogami seems to want to take his final, and only, loss out on your mouth. His tongue wrestling against your own for dominance. His teeth nipping at your lips. Stealing your breath away so all you can do is moan.

He finally let you go and you’re both panting at the end of it. Exercise and now this had both left the two of you needy for air. But you’re both needy for something else.

The Enforcer took your mouth again passionately, and lifted you up off the wall. His hands find their way to your legs to lift them up. Wrapping them around his waist and keeping them secure with his strong arms before he pulled you away from the wall altogether.

He wandered blindly through his dorm with you in his arms. Still kissing. His hands caressing your backside in your tight gym pants. Cursing now and then when his shins clip into something. Eventually, he made it to his bed. The rumbled bedding hitting your back in a familiar puff of cotton. He never made his bed.

It only then that he pulled away to look at you. His eyes darker in the dim light. Neither of you had bothered to turn on the lights, since you’ve been busy upon arrival. You don’t need them anyway. The ever-present blue glow of the various circuits & inlay boards in the tower walls the only ambient light in the room. Even with out it, you could feel he was looking at you.

A calloused hand reached out to cup your cheek. Caressing it in a strange juxtaposition of the rough way they had been handling you earlier in training. He does this sometimes. Seems to want to memorize your face like it will disappear. Like you’re not real.

When his thumb came across your lips you snap your teeth out to nip at the pad. Not to hurt it. Just a little bite. Kogami hissed before he grinned wolfishly down at you and you’re off again. He leaned down to kiss you once more, but not nearly as long as the other times. He seemed to have other plans. Slowly, he moved from your lips down to your neck, then down further still to the top of your sports bra. Making you moan.

You’re thankful that you’ve decide to wear one of your fancy front zip ones, and decide to throw out all your other types of sports bra as you watch Kogami pull the zip down with his teeth. That cheeky grin on his lips as he watches you watching him and knows you’re getting turned on.

Without the zipper, your bra can’t hold your breasts in any longer. Now it’s Kogami’s turn to moan as he sees them literally burst out of their confines in front of his face with a sassy jiggle. He wasted very little time admiring them before both of his hands come up to envelope both your breasts and squeeze them. Your back arched as he massaged the soft flesh. Your body shivering as his warm breath brushed over them before his mouth encased around your nipple.

He doesn’t seem to mind that you’re still sweaty from your work out. Quite the contrary. The salty taste of your skin seemed to arouse your boyfriend even more. To the point that his hips were rolling against the bed for some kind of release.

“K-Kogami….Shinya.” The Enforcer immediately looked up when you called his first name. No one but you calls him by his name anymore. “I want to make you feel good too.”

You reach for him and Kogami instantly comes up to you. Because he’ll do anything you ask. He kisses you again, less fire, no less passionate, as you reach between the both of you to grab his length through his own training pants. He moaned into your mouth and bucked up against your hand in a low, slow rhythm.

“Feels good.” He breathed into your mouth. In case you needed to hear the words. He’s learned that from you, over time. Sometimes you need to hear the words, not just the action.

You don’t need the words this time, however, as his actions speak volumes. He continues to buck into your hand. His cock unbearably hard under your fingers. You let go for a second to slip your hand down his pants and grasp him firmly, skin on skin, and you both moan.

Kogami obviously from having you touch him directly. While you moan at how hard & hot his cock is in your hand and imagine it inside you. Your pussy tightens in anticipation just at the thought of it.

He lets you pump his cock a few more times, before he seems unable to take it anymore and starts getting you both undressed. His hands are fast and forceful. They quickly strip you down out of your pants and underwear in one hard pull before Kogami was stepping out of his own pants & shirt as well. The hard lines of his chest defined in the low light. No matter how many times you see him like this, it makes you bite your lip.

That hard body was back on top of you in an instant. The feel of your naked skin against each other making you sigh in contentment into the kiss he landed on you.

Your body immediately opens up to him when he fell upon you. And with a well practice shift, and one good thrust, he was inside you.

His thrust start out slow. Long and deep to give you time to adjust to his size; especially since he hasn’t worked you open like he normally would, but he’s so impatient. It lasts only as long as necessary, however, before he shifts into his usual frenzy. Hard and fast. Not that you’re complaining in the least.

“Fuck! God! Shinya! More!” You cry out against his shoulder as you hold on to that hard body like an anchor.

Kogami, in return, just grunts against your ear. He keeps pace for a while before you feel a shutter quake down his back. He was going to cum soon.

Between the adrenaline and how good sex with Kogami is, you’re not far behind. Your body tightens up around him as he finally stops to cum inside you. He doesn’t like to mess up the sheets, and it’s not like you can get pregnant. It’s the worst kept secret at the bureau that they ‘sneak’ Enforcers all kinds of things in their food. All essential vitamins and mineral for healthy hunting dogs, and birth control. So there are no little Enforcers running around.

You lay together for a moment, panting and sweaty again, before Kogami rolled off you.

He reached over to the nightstand for his usual pack of cigarettes and lit one. The smell and faint waft of smoke filling the air. “You did good.”

“With the sex? Thanks.” You tease. Grinning at Kogami’s eye roll.

“I meant with training. You did good. I’m proud of you.”

Your heart both fluttered and swelled at those words: ‘I’m proud of you’. You shift around a little to curl into Kogami’s side and chest. Watching the smoke curl up from his cigarette lazily before disappearing to nothing. “I love you too, Kogami.”

[lousyxlassie]

𝙹𝙹𝙺 𝙼𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝙵𝚛𝚘𝚖 '𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜'

𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚝: 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): 𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚜, 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝙶𝚘𝚓𝚘𝚞, 𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒, 𝚃𝚘𝚓𝚒, 𝙸𝚝𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚒, 𝙼𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚒

𝙰/𝙽: 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚊 𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎'𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚋𝚞𝚖!

𝚠𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 / 𝚜𝚒𝚡 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢

"There shouldn't be no hold up / There's more love if you follow emotions"

➪ Satoru strikes me as the kind of person who keeps everyone at arm's length when it comes to romance

➪ and canonically speaking, he isn't faithful to one person

➪ however

➪ if he were to commit solely to someone

➪ it would take a lot of emotional work

➪ you'd have to be extremely patient to be able to deal with his way of expressing himself

➪ it may take a few months for him to fully open up to you without the need for banter or silly remarks

➪ but once it happens you both will feel a shift in your relationship

"I know I be on some bullshit / Know I be driving you crazy / But I know you love how I whip it / You can only stay mad for a minute / So come here and give me some kisses"

➪ tell me this doesn't sound like Satoru

➪ you can't

➪ because even though he can be a pain in the ass sometimes

➪ he still loves you

➪ and, quite frankly, you find yourself enjoying his antics from time to time

➪ you'd never tell him, but you get the feeling he already knows

𝚗𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚢 / 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

"you know the vibes, I don't waste no time / Take what's on your mind, make it real life"

➪ okay look

➪ every time I hear this song I think of this man

➪ we all know that Nanami Kento is not fond of wasting time

➪ when it comes to you and your relationship, he's no different

➪ when one of you are in the mood, suddenly both of you are.

➪ there's no need to wait with him

➪ unless he wants you to

"All I wanna do is spend my time with you / Even when the learning's done and nothing's new"

➪ maybe I'm a whore for this man idk

➪ but c'mon

➪ a serious and stable relationship is all Nanami wants with you

➪ at the start of your relationship he made it clear that he was in it for the long run

➪ lucky for him, so are you

➪ and even after so many months together you can't help but want to be even closer with him

𝚙𝚘𝚟 / 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎

"I'm getting used to receiving / Still getting good at not leaving / I'ma love you even though I'm scared / Learnin' to be grateful for myself"

➪ listen

➪ I originally had someone else in mind for this song

➪ but after listening to it again it hit me like a big ass truck

➪ it's Toji

➪ the entire song is about wanting to love yourself the way your partner loves you

➪ after being treated as less than nothing by the Zen'in clan

➪ being loved by you is welcomed, but gave him so much uneasiness in the beginning

➪ was he really worth your affection? even after all that's happened with him?

➪ and in those moments when your holding his face against your chest

➪ he believes the answer is yes

"Not yet healed or ready / Shouldn't be goin' too steady / Just wanna know is love completely off the table"

➪ he questions his relationship with you more often that he'd like to

➪ he knows he has a lot of baggage and no matter how much you reassure him there's still something gnawing at his thoughts

➪ after his first wife he wasn't sure if he was ever meant to be happy

➪ so give him some time

➪ because when all is said and done, he'll make it worth while

- 𝙽𝙾 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁 𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙸𝚃𝙰𝙳𝙾𝚁𝙸 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝙼𝙴𝙶𝚄𝙼𝙸 -

𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎 / 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

"Teach me how to love you / I'm not learning what ain't right"

➪ Yuuji is the type to give it his all with anything he does

➪ when you start dating, it doesn't take you long to realize that he is 100% devoted to you

➪ he memorizes everything about you

➪ wants you to show him how you like to be treated

➪ so he can be the perfect partner for you

"Know my love infinite, nothing I wouldn't do / That I won't do, switchin' for you"

➪ he's exactly what the lyrics say

➪ he puts you above everything, and is willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy

➪ also very versatile

➪ can match your energy perfectly

➪ wanna spend the entire day outdoors?

➪ he's down

➪ maybe stay inside and watch movies all day?

➪ also down for that

𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 / 𝚘𝚋𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜

"This ain't usually me / But I might let it down for ya"

➪ generally speaking, Megumi is very reserved

➪ even when he's in a relationship

➪ but there are those times where he's allowing himself to be vulnerable with you

➪ he'll let you hold him and give him as much affection as you want

➪ the slight warmth on his face tells you that he likes attention from you

➪ his favorite thing for you to do his run your hands through his hair

➪ it's soothing

"I knew you were the real thing / When you walked through the door"

➪ not to be corny

➪ but Megumi became completely infatuated with you when you first met

➪ he hid it well behind his stoic face

➪ but he couldn't help but think about you constantly

➪ so now that he has you, he wants to show you how devoted he is

➪ he wants to show you that you truly are special to him

© 2021 𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢𝚡𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚎

[authoratmidnight]

OK IM BACK SO HERE WE GO

So the events of the movie progress as normal, D-16 falls and becomes Megatron and Orion become Optimus and it's sad and tragic.

And Optimus wishes that he could have done something different, changed the outcome so that it didn't end that way.

And he wakes up the next day.

As Orion Pax, cogless miner, the day of the Iacon 5000.

Well, that was one heck of a fucked up, realistic dream wasn't it? So he goes about business as usual, going to the race, getting IN the race, not winning the race etc... He does start to notice that things are lining up a lot like he dream but, naw it was just a dream.

Events unfold more or less the same. The day ends.

And the time loop resets.

Ok, so that was weird.

Orion is VERY in denial that this is a time loop, it's gotta be a fucked up dream or a glitch in his systems, surely. But after a couple rounds he's like 'ok no, this is a time loop'

So, time to find a way out. To stop his best friend from turning into an irredeemable monster. He pays more attention to D this time around, listening to him, trying to take his needs and wants into account. Because clearly he just wasn't a good enough friend.

But it doesn't work, he still falls to his rage and pain and kills Sentinel and becomes Megatron.

And the time loop resets.

So he tries again. And again. Each loops he uses the knowledge he's gained from the previous ones to try better, to try and save D.

And each time he fails. And each time the loop resets.

So fuck it. What about if he takes D's advice and they DON'T run in the race? Sure HE now knows that Sentinel is scummy, but, he doesn't need to be overthrown right this instant. If he gets out of the loop he can work on that. So they watch the race, return to work and D never learns about Sentinel, or their lost cogs or of the Quintessons.

And the time loop resets.

Ok, so what about just, waiting in sub level 50 with B?

They waste the day away there and the time loop resets.

Over and over, Orion tries and tries. Drags them to the High Guard instead of the resting place of the Primes. Tries telling D or B or Elita or anyone who will listen that Sentinel is bad news. To mixed results (Elita thinks he's off his rocker and sends him for evaluation b/c clearly he hit his head to hard. D is just hurt b/c Orion wtf, why would you say something like that? The truth never works so he abandons that line of thought).

And the loops reset and reset. And sometimes it feels like they get worse! And as they go, Orion feels his grip on his sanity slipping and slipping like the sand in the memory disc from Alpha Trion. He becomes erratic, paranoid, reckless. And in those loops, D starts to worry about his friend, this isn't like Orion.

In one time loop, Orion is SO desperate to keep D from turning that amidst the fighting he kills D. Before realizing what he did and ending himself. And the loop resets.

Finally, on loop ???? b/c it's been so so many loops now, Orion just breaks. There is one thing he hasn't done yet, one thing he hasn't tried. And well if it DOESN'T work the loop will just reset anyways.

So they run the race, and D can't help but notice that Orion is, off. He seems far more focused than he's ever been, a bit less cheerful (the joy and smiles seem forced somehow), he seems cold. They end up in sub level 50 and meet B. And Orion waists no time in retrieving the beacon from Steve's head (for insurance he tells himself, as he's memorized the route by now) before starting up the garbage chute. He says they can stay and wait down there or follow him, he doesn't care. D follows b/c he has a Concern. B follows b/c fuck if this ain't the most excitement he's had in a while.

They get on the trains and Elita is dragged along on their mission. He promises her she can beat him later if it leads to nothing. Otherwise, let him do this and she can take it out on Darkwing later. Which, you know, sounds good to her. (D is now deeply concerned b/c Orion what is wrong??? He tries talking to Orion but, his friend has become cold, so cold, and so wrong)

They trek across the surface, Orion says there's something he needs to show them. He leads them NOT to the cave of the Primes, but to Sentinel's meeting place with the Quintessons. Orion doesn't want to waste time, it's faster to show them. He drags them to the cave AFTER and does that that turns D's concern into fear. He starts looting the bodies for cogs. ("They're dead D! And we need these if we're going to stop Sentinel!" He's not wrong but it feels so icky. But he goes along with it. They never do wake up Alpha Trion, the missing T-Cogs are the only sign they were there.)

D wants to know how Orion knows all this (he's been off since that morning and he clearly seems to have known more about Sentinel than he let on) and he just says he 'figured it out'. It was so obvious once he thought about it, and how they have their proof. And now they need help to take Sentinel down.

So they go right to the lair of the High Guard. They don't get caught, Orion basically walks through the front door of it. He picks the fight with Starscream and brutally pounds him into the ground. He rallies the High Guard into heading back to Iacon to take down Sentinel (or he tries, Soundwave is DEEPLY disturbed by this bot and the way he acts. Like, they're all a bit unhinged but this bot? He is on a whole other level. Remember he can scan brainwaves, and he can tell something is very very wrong with Orion).

And then they get caught, and B, Elita and Orion are dragged back to Iacon, leaving D with the High Guard. And having a full on crisis b/c, what is happening to his friend?? This isn't Orion, this isn't like him at all. He needs to stop him, before he does something he'll never come back from. (it also hasn't escaped his notice that over the course of the day, Orion's optics have shifted in colour, from bright blue, to dark blue, to the more violet colour they currently are)

Seeing Sentinel up close, knowing what he did, what it turned his best friend into in all those time lines, oh Orion is beyond furious.

Eventually, a whole fight breaks out. Orion manages to snap the cuffs off and starts throwing hands with Sentinel. And he's brutal. A man on a mission and there isn't a force in Iacon that will stop him. He even gets Sentinel to admit out loud that he stripped them of their Cogs before they came online.

(The whole time, Elita has been steadily getting more and more angry. She was lied to, tricked into essentially betraying her own people by way of mining and loading Energon up for the Quintessons. Seeing Sentinel up close, his smug face and voice, his admittance of the Cog removal? Well, that's her breaking point. And B is just, fucked up in general given that he's been isolated for so long, and Orion doesn't try to hold him back or stop him when he rampages.)

He has B and Elita drag Airachnid to the broadcast room to show all of Iacon his crimes. He doesn't just intend to ruin his reputation, he is going to destroy him. He doesn't even care what state Airachnid is in, as long as she is alive and her head intact enough to use.

Which she does manage to do.

D doesn't manage to get down to the miners, he's too focused on trying to save his friend from making a huge mistake. So he's stuck in the crowds, watching as Orion fights Sentinel, ruthlessly wailing on him, ripping things off other bots to fight him with.

He can only watch as his best friend in the world, using a blaster ripped from another bot, points it at Sentinel's head, all while Sentinel is beaten and broken on the ground, begging for his life.

Because in all the timelines Orion lived through, the countless one he suffered through, there was one thing he never did.

He never killed Sentinel.

And D can only watch in growing horror as his best friend is transformed into an unrecognizable monster before his eyes as he publicly executes Sentinel for all to see. And he's even more horrified, when Iacon cheers for him.

The Sentinel betrayal DID hurt him, did make him angry, but his concern for what was happening to his friend superseded that, and it still did. This isn't Orion Pax, his friend. He doesn't know who the monster standing on stage, with that cold gaze and ruthless demeanor is, but it's not Orion.

And then, he rips the T Cog out of Sentinel's lifeless chest, casting aside the one he took earlier in place of it. And he changes again. His colours darken, red darkens to purple, blue becomes black, black as the rocks they mined. And his eyes.

They're so cold. So uncaring. And a deep, unsettling red.

It scares D to his core.

Sentinel, the false Prime, is dead. But in his place, a new and far worse evil has taken his place. An evil calling itself Optimus Prime.

D is grabbed by the High Guard and they flee to the surface and away from this. They're a bit fucked but DAMN this is a bit much even for them.

Optimus did it, he stopped D from falling into darkness. By becoming the darkness himself.

The time loop doesn't reset.

As soon as I get home and can type on my computer it is so over b/c I just got the bestworst idea for a Transformers One au.

It involves a time loop and things getting progressively worse as they go.

[hqbaby]

ACT THREE — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — AKAASHI KEIJI X READER

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WORD COUNT! » 2k CONTENT! mentions of sex, ooc oikawa

Over the course of a month, Akaashi has become a man reborn.

He feels like a phoenix rising from the ashes, a tree coming to bloom in spring, or a cloud welling up from the rush of water. In less poetic words, he takes a shower every day and eats a proper breakfast. But that’s all semantics, really.

The play, which he’s decided to title Coral Reefs after the final scene where your character and Iwaizumu’s character walk into the ocean to restart their lives (it was a cinematic masterpiece in Akaashi’s head when he originally wrote it. In reality, it was a terrible headache for Hanamaki to put together on stage), has been doing well.

Production is apparently right on schedule and everything is just fine.

With his workload dramatically decreased, Akaashi’s gone back to working on his novel. He knows Kuroo will tell him it’s a waste of time and that he won’t make money because “print is dead,” but what else is he supposed to do with his time? Besides, he’s got stories to tell and thoughts to ponder deeply and pretentiously about.

And when he isn’t doing that? He’s spending time with you.

After your first date, you and Akaashi have grown incredibly close. You don’t know what it is but you’ve both just been hitting it off.

You spend time together after rehearsals, walking through the city in places where nobody seems to recognize you or holed away in his apartment talking about anything and everything under the sun.

You can read him now and it’s comforting. And it’s even better that it’s helped you understand him more.

You learned about his childhood, how he used to climb trees when he was younger until his favorite tree was cut down and he vowed to never climb one again. You learned about his days as a college student, how he was originally an architecture major but switched to English halfway through because he liked the way words looked more than buildings (you’ve teased him excessively into recognizing how weird his reasoning was). You learned that he can’t, for the life of him, keep his apartment clean without an occasional scolding from you and you learned how to convince him to at least pick his socks up when he gets home.

You learned his favorite color, his favorite drink, which one of his bedsheets he likes best even though you’re convinced they’re all the same.

And in turn, he’s learned about you. He’s memorized the map of your mind, remembering which doors you like to keep closed and which ones you always leave wide open. He revisits the part he knows you like to go to and he’s learned to avoid the ones that you’d rather leave alone.

But, some nights, you visit those parts with him. Curled up in his arms, you whisper about how, when you were younger, your parents died. You tell him about how you ended up with the Oikawas, how they took care of you and, in return, they asked you to succeed in life.

You tell him about your fears, how you’re scared of falling behind and how you can’t help but think that, one day, the media will replace you with someone else and all you’ll be is a washed-up shell of a person that you used to be.

On those nights, he holds you particularly tight and tells you that things will be fine. That he’ll be there and that he won’t let things go wrong.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” you ask him one afternoon as he takes a break from writing.

“Soulmates?” he raises a brow. “Like ‘everyone has someone’ kinda soulmates?”

You shrug. “Something like that.”

Akaashi takes a sip of his coffee, thinking deeply and pretentiously. “Maybe,” he says. “Probably.”

“Good,” you tell him. “Because I think you’re my soulmate.”

He lets out a soft laugh. “Well that was quick,” he tells you. “We’ve only been seeing each other for a month.”

You lean back on his couch lazily, allowing your legs to hang off the side. “I know,” you say. “The sex is just that good,” you add, trying your best to say it in the most non-chalant way possible.

The two of you laugh. “But, in all seriousness,” you continue. “I keep thinking about that moment in rehearsals.”

Akaashi remembers that rehearsal well—when the whole world seemed to shift under his feet. How could he not?

“What about it?” he asks, putting his coffee on the table and slotting himself on the couch beside you, his face right in front of yours. He brushes a strand of hair from your face and smiles. “What’s it got to do with soulmates?”

You hold his hand and press a kiss to his palm. “That moment,” you say, punctuating your sentence with a kiss on the tip of his nose. “That seemed a lot like a ‘soulmate moment.’”

“I think you’re right,” he tells you, inching closer. “It probably was.”

You hum. “Maybe,” you say, already closing your eyes. You smile. “Probably.”

You catch his lips in a kiss.

You creep into the apartment with your shoes clutched to your chest. It’s dark and all that keeps you from believing you’ve trapped yourself in an abyss is the cool floor beneath your feet.

As you reach the stairs, your foot already on the first rung, a light turns on.

Oikawa wears an amused expression as he looks at you trying to sneak up the stairs. Even you have to admit that the position you're in is a little funny.

“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice teasing. “You know you’re not a teenager anymore, right? You can stay out late if you want.”

You nod, a guilty smile on your face. “Yeah,” you say. “Just didn’t wanna wake you.”

He walks over to you and holds your face in his hands, his touch is gentle and warm. “I don’t mind you waking me up, you know,” he tells you.

“I know,” you say.

He leans in and kisses you. “What’s wrong?” he asks once he’s pulled away, studying the expression on your face. “You look sick.”

You shake your head. “Just tired,” you tell him. “I should get some sleep.”

You slip from under his grasp and grab the railing, only for him to place his hand on yours to stop you from moving.

“Where were you tonight?” he asks.

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Just with friends,” you tell him. “I promise I won’t stay out too late again.”

Oikawa stays quiet for a moment. “Okay,” he says, the usual chipper tone of his voice weighed down by something heavy. He moves his hand away from yours and you scurry up the stairs. As you reach the top, you hear him say, “Oh, and I hope you don’t mind. I’ll be coming with you to rehearsals tomorrow.”

Akaashi searches for you in the sea of busy crew and squawking actors. He doesn’t find you.

“I hear Oikawa’s coming in today,” Bokuto tells him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You think I’ve got my lines down well enough?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi says, taking his notebook from his bag and putting his pen behind his ear. “I think you’ve got them down great. You haven’t even called for a line for the past two rehearsals.”

Bokuto beams proudly because, yes indeed, he’s been completely self-reliant for the past two rehearsals (everyone refuses to talk about the rehearsals prior to those). He can definitely make it through today.

Hanamaki calls everyone to sit down and runs through the things he and Watari have planned for the day. He says that there will be a full run-through of the play and that, if everything goes according to plan, everyone should be home before dinner.

The room buzzes with excitement at the prospect of an early day and everyone sets about preparing for the run-through. It’s only when he’s started talking to Hanamaki about a few line edits from the day before that Akaashi finally sees you.

You walk into the theater hall with Oikawa at your side. Your arm is looped around the other man’s as he leads you to the front of the hall with the rest of the cast. There’s an expression on your face that Akaashi can only understand as pure unadulterated joy.

When the two of you stop beside Hanamaki, Oikawa already apologizing for dragging you in late, you don’t even glance Akaashi’s way. You smile at your director and act for all the world like Akaashi isn’t there, like he hadn’t held you last night, like he hadn’t ever kissed you, like you’d never even shared a conversation with one another.

His feeling of hurt only grows when Oikawa brushes his lips against your cheek and plants a kiss on the nape of your neck.

Akaashi decides that can’t stand it. He doesn’t know what you’re doing but he’s not just going to stay here and watch you pretend that he’s nothing to you. So he walks away.

He’s learned his way around the theater. After countless times getting lost with Bokuto looking for the toilet, he eventually forced the knowledge of the different halls and staircases and passageways of the theater into his mind.

He makes his way to the fire escape that leads to the rooftop. It’s a quiet place that only a handful of people on the crew know about so it’s empty most of the time. He’s spent more than a few hours up there with you and, it makes him feel silly but, he feels like being there will remind him that he wasn’t just imagining all that time you spent together.

He peers over the edge of the building. It’s honestly not that tall, especially in comparison to the rest of the structures in Tokyo, but it helps him feel a sort of detachment from everything, like he’s somewhere no one else can reach him.

“Keiji.”

Of course, he can never really hide from you.

“Keiji,” you repeat when he doesn’t answer, walking up to him. You place a hand on his shoulder and all he does is look at it. “Please don’t be mad.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not mad,” he says. “Just confused is all.”

You say his name again, placatingly. “You just walked out,” you say. “Keiji.”

“Y/N, please,” he says, finally turning around to look at you. “Is this all just a joke to you? Have you just been using me? For what? Your own amusement?”

A pained expression washes over your face. You look away from him and pace around aimlessly, your eyes fixed on the ground. Akaashi can see the gears moving in your brain as you try to figure out how to speak to him. He’s seen you like this before when you were trying to skirt around a difficult detail about your past.

You finally stop and look at him. “Tooru and I have a complicated relationship,” you tell him. “His family has control over my whole life.”

Akaashi furrows his brows. “I don’t get it,” he says. “They raised you, sure. But that’s all, isn’t it?”

Your lips twist into a frown. “They did a little more than raise me,” you say. “I didn’t become a… star for no reason.”

He shakes his head. “Still,” he says. “If you love him—”

“I don’t,” you say, cutting him off. “Please don’t say that I do because I don’t.”

Akaashi shakes his head. He turns around and looks back down at the edge of the building. On the streets below, people go about their days with nothing wrong and nothing broken. He wishes he were one of them instead.

“So what do we do?” Akaashi whispers.

“I don’t want to lose you,” is all you can offer him. Your voice is fragile, like you’ll break with just a touch.

Akaashi feels like he’s on the edge of something, like he’s reached the point of do or die. He thinks that what he says now will change everything and nothing will ever be the same again. There’s only two ways all of this can go. And the choice is all his to make.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he says, feeling himself tumble over into a point of no return.

He doesn’t know what he’s done.

AUTHOR’S NOTES! writing every chapter of this series was basically just me repeatedly telling myself i couldn't make it happy and that i had to stick to the angst and yOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS REALLY HARD

if you want to be tagged in future updates, fill out this form

[astrabear]

For the WIP tag game: the venting fic 👀

Please and thank you 😊

Ahhh, the venting fic. I wrote it (what there is of it) in November of last year, when I was frustrated by some conversations about Nile and Booker. It's a thousand words about Nile, most of which she spends in conversation with Andy. I stopped working on it when a) I was no longer so frustrated, and b) I realized that if I just wanted to use Andy as a mouthpiece to make all the arguments I wanted to make, it would require Nile to make all the arguments I was arguing against, which would by definition be out of character with how I see her.

It's also way too talky, but that tends to be the case with all my rough drafts. There are bits of it I definitely want to hold onto, but it's so far down on my priority list I'm not sure if I'll ever get around to reworking it. (I've put the entire thing after the cut, because why not.)

It had been a slow, lazy day, and Nile had an itch under her skin that she couldn’t shake. Nicky helped her practice with his new scope, but the meditative calm of distance shooting couldn’t soothe her. She sparred with Joe for a while and learned a new throw, but her edginess was untouched by exertion and adrenaline. A long soak was next on her list, but when she lowered herself into the water she found she was far too impatient and jittery for a bath. She apologized to her mother’s voice in her head, scolding her for wasting water, pulled the plug, rinsed quickly, and went looking for Andy.

She found her sitting in the living room, of all places, which meant it must be a bad pain day. Andy never just hung around indoors if she could help it, and Nile made a note to check in with Nicky. In the meantime…

“What would you say if I told you I wanted to call my mom?”

Andy looked up from her magazine. “I’d say of course you do. You’ll never really stop wanting to.”

“Okay.” Nile took a step toward Andy. “What if I said I was going to call my mom?”

Andy sat up straighter and put the magazine aside. “I’d say you made that decision already, and some things can’t be undone. If you needed me to, I’d remind you of all the reasons you made that decision in the first place.”

“And what would you say if I wanted to call Booker?”

Blue eyes stayed locked on brown. “I’d tell you to cut the bullshit and tell me what’s really going on, instead of beating around the bush like this.” Andy tossed the magazine onto the coffee table and patted the empty space beside her. “What are you really asking me?” Nile didn’t sit.

“I just… I think I really need to talk to somebody.”

“Like a shrink?”

“No, like a…” Nile shook her head impatiently. “Like a person, a person who isn’t you or Nicky or Joe. I thought, when I was first getting used to all the, you know, this, I thought it meant the world was getting bigger. I was going to be able to see so much, experience so much. But for a while now my world has been the safehouse and the three of you, and that’s too small Andy, I feel like I’m going to explode. Like one of these days I’m going to go for a run and just keep going.”

“What’s stopping you? You want to talk to people, go talk. You want some time to yourself, go take it. You're not a prisoner here." "But I thought... we were supposed to be laying low?" "We are. First rule of stealth, don't get so caught up in acting sneaky that you draw more attention to yourself. Joe flirts with every vendor he meets and Nicky charms the hell out of all the old ladies in a five mile radius. Not just because they're just like that, but also because "those nice young men who helped me carry my groceries" are a lot less memorable than "that creepy house where they keep to themselves and never talk to anyone." Nile considered this, and while she considered she sat down. Not next to Andy, though. This conversation was not going the way she'd expected. She wasn't sure if it was a disappointment, not being yelled at. Andy went on, "You're smart enough not to say things you shouldn't. But there's nothing wrong with going to a bar and unloading on the bartender about how much you miss your family. You’re one of us, and you will be for a long, long time. We’ll teach you how that works. But you’re still you, it’s still your life. You’re alive, so be alive. You wanna get laid? I can see if the boys are free tonight.”

“What?!”

“What?” They stared at each other, Nile aghast and Andy confused, until Andy’s eyes widened with realization and she burst out laughing. “Not like that! To be your wingmen!”

“Oh thank God.” Nile collapsed back into her chair.

“Get dressed up, hit a club with the guys. You’d be doing me a favor, really.”

“How, by giving you a chance to practice with your axe and pull your stitches without Nicky stopping you?”

Andy grinned. “Of course not.”

“And you’d really be ok with that? Me meeting other people?”

The grin became a smirk. “If you’d rather, I can tell you some of the times I went out and… met other people.”

Yes. “No, thank you very much.” She shifted uncomfortably and took a steadying breath. “And after that, after going to a club and whatever… what if I still want to call Booker?”

“You can want to all you like.”

“But I can’t do it.”

Andy sighed and leaned back. “What would that mean for you, ‘can’t’? If I said that and you did it anyway, we wouldn’t kick you out. We wouldn’t hurt you. I just said you’re not a prisoner. But Nile,” she sat up and leaned forward, eyes intense, “I told you to go out and meet people because I trust you. I don’t trust easily. You have integrity, and good judgment, and a good heart. You can get in touch with Booker. But we’re staying away. Nicky and Joe deserve to have their privacy; they need to feel safe. If you tell him anything about us – and I mean anything, not just where we are but what stories we’re telling you, if Nicky looks tired or Joe seems sad, a joke we made that you didn’t get – I won’t be able to trust you anymore. Not fully. Not like I do now. That’s not a threat; that’s just a fact. It’s up to you.” She stretched for the magazine, wincing slightly, and settled back to read.

Nile, who had been shocked into silence, found her voice. “So it’s like that? I can do what I want, but you’ll still punish me if I step out of line?”

“It’s not a punishment. It’s a consequence. Booker betrayed us, so we don’t trust him. If you give him access to Joe and Nicky, even indirectly? Same thing. Might as well get mad at gravity when you step off a cliff. You’ll still be welcome here, and we’ll still train you. But you’ll have hurt us. Is it really so surprising that we might react?”

[lightning-storm-studies]

10 college tips from a grad student

I want to tell you some useful tips from my own experience, on how to study and how to survive college in general.

Take notes and rewrite them

Taking notes is important, because not everything is in course books and you won't be able to remember everything your professors said. But while in class, you'll be writing quite fast, so your notes may appear messy. Rewriting them at home will make them look more orderly, so it's easier to find any information. It will also help you remember what you've learned in class. Remember, your notes don't have to be pretty. They have to be useful. Rewriting is helpful, but don't waste too much time, rewriting something 10 times just because "it's not pretty enough".

Use planner apps

I only started to use a planner app recently and it changed everything. It made planning and remembering tasks much easier and I stopped worrying all the time that I'd forgotten something important. I use ToDoList (for making to do lists) and Rabit (for habit tracking and goals planning), but there's a lot of different planning apps, so you just have to find out, which ones suit you the best.

Join student organizations/scientific societies

Joining a student scientific society or other student organization will help you meet some new people and you'll have a chance to gain some practical experience by taking part in projects. I'd been a member of a student scientific society since my first year of college. I know it may be hard to find time to do something more than just studying, but it will allow you to put your knowledge from classes in practice.

Try to find a job related to your study field

It's easier said than done, but it's worth trying. If you find a job related to what you're studying it may help you learn more. Learning from practice is the best form of learning. The earlier you get your first job experience, the better, but if you don't have to work from the beginning of your college studies, it may be better to focus mostly on studying for the first 1 or 2 years of college and wait with looking for a job until 3rd or 4th year. From my own experience, I found an electrical engineering-related job during summer holidays before the 4th year of my college studies. I didn't look for a job before beacuse I wanted to focus on studying, but everyone's situation is different, I know people who have been working since the first year.

Spend some time with other people

Studying is important and takes a lot of time, but having a social life is important, too. If you stop spending time with your family and friends, you may start feeling lonely and sad, and become more stressed. Humans are social creatures, we aren't suited to live a lonely life. If you don't have time and/or energy, try to at least call someone or write them a message. Studying together also may be more effective, than studying alone. You can ask each other for help and correct each other's mistakes.

Try to study a little bit everyday

This makes me sound like a hypocrite, as I tend to procrastinate and do everything just before the deadline, but it's better to study everyday. It increases the chances that you'll remember what you've learned, allows you to revise and ask for help, if you don't understand something and makes you less stressed.

Don't try to learn everything by heart, understand it instead

No matter how good your memory is, you'll never remember everything. And even if you do, it'll be useless if you only learn it by heart, without understanding and practice. I had this problem sometimes, that I had to learn something again, because I either didn't remember it at all or only knew theory, but didn't know how to use this knowledge in a practical way. It's better to understand something and know where to look for additional information, than to memorize everything without understanding.

Don't drink too much coffee

Drinking a lot of coffee is unhealthy. It increases your blood pressure and may cause insomnia and magnesium deficiency. It also can be addictive. Of course, I'm not telling you to avoid drinking coffee at all, but don't drink it everyday. If you feel tired, it's probably better to take a nap, than drink another cup of coffee, although I know it's not always possible. You can drink yerba mate instead, it contains caffeine, too, but it's healthier than coffee.

Find some study music

Some people learn the best in silence, but I, and probably most students listen to music while studying. Music can help you focus by drowning out noises from your surroundings. There are many studying playlists in the Internet, you can also make your own playlists. While studying, I usually listen to calm electronic music (ambient/future garage/chillstep) or sometimes lo-fi hip hop, but your study music may be different.

Last but not least: rest and don't stress 🙂

College is hard and there will be moments, when you're stressed, but please remember, that it's not the end of the world. You will pass this class, you will finish this project, you will graduate. I'm telling you this from my own experience, as I'm too much a perfectionist and often stressed, worrying doesn't help with anything, it only makes things harder. Be persistent and ambitious, but don't worry too much and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Remember that mistakes are a part of the learning process and you will make mistakes, but in the end it'll be fine.

[whining-ylthin]

2. "Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix" (Netflix, 2023)

THEY MADE A SHOW ABOUT A TALL-DARK-HANDSOME BROODING ONE-ARMED PRETTBOY WHO'S HELLA GAY FOR A ROBUST BEARISH MAN SEEKING TO UPEND A BROKEN, UNJUST SYSTEM, AND I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT IT.

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THIS BADLY?!

On a more serious note though, it's basically like a 6/10. Pretty, but also short, hollow and disappointing, just like me fr.

Overly jaded rant time.

Calling this show "We have Edgerunners at home" feels both disingenuous and unfair to Laserhawk, but also painfully accurate - both are fast-paced, sub-12 episodes cyberpunk-themed animated dramas aimed at adult viewers, except Edgerunners' ten episodes are a tightly paced and written emotional nuke while Laserhawk's six episodes start off too fast to make you attached to anyone, and then spin their wheels on a massive backstory dump that ends up invalidated by the plot-twist triple-cross cliffhanger ending that I couldn't care less for even without taking into account the fact that Netflix is a fickle mistress and constantly axes their original shows. We start out with a Suicide Squad-like scenario that very quickly falls off the track because the show only has 6 episodes - the Squad disbands by ep. 3, and the remaining episodes are, again, a setup for a giant red herring, sudden plot-twist that means nothing to me because of how little I get to learn about the characters and the world, wasted "heroic sacrifice" moment and a bloody cliffhanger in a Netflix show.

Edgerunners was a story about a group of people doomed to push themselves over the edge and die in a struggle within and/or fight against an oppressive system so much bigger than them. Laserhawk is... similar? In theory? As if Adi Shankar and his team grabbed the bulletpoint notes left behind by Trigger and CDPR, and tried to roughly copy the story beats into a narrative framework too frail and chaotic to support it.

The visuals are good. The animation is smooth, the artstyle is simple enough to prevent the Netflix Castlevania Jank Problem (also known as "we're trying to rip off Vampire Hunter D on a fraction of the budget and production time"), the designs taken in a vacuum are rather neat, the backgrounds are well-done and the directing is snappy - some of the scene transitions were really neatly done. I like the artstyle shift gimmick except for the "live action" splices (IMO they overstay their welcome) and the quasi-retro video game theming is cool, even if it feels... pandering, on the verge of that very cynical "look at the thing you like, GAMER, now CLAP AND CONSUME THE PRODUCT" stance. The voice-acting is competent if sometimes struck by the Netflixvania "voice actors talking in lowercase" type of direction, and the dialogue itself isn't jarring, but it's not exactly memorable either. Same goes for audio - the soundtrack is well-done, and the occasional use of licensed songs again reminded me of Edgerunners, but the tracks chosen are either not particularly memorable or the scenes paired up with them lack the emotional impact to make "[Carpenter Brut playing]" something worth remembering.

Finally, I have a bit of a gripe with the show's treatment of queerness - the way Dolph and Alex's relationship is VERY aggressively front-and-center feels almost like it's too much, as if the writers feel the need to constantly bash me with a sign reading "these two men are GAY and they have PASSIONATE SWEATY GAY SEX, ARE YOU ENTERTAINED BY THIS, TUMBLR USER WHINING-YLTHIN" rather than portray a more natural working-romantic relationship between them, but even if we chalk it up to me still having unresolved hangups with internalized homophobia and living in closet for years... well, I have bad news for y'all, you can't really say the same about the show's take on Pagan Min - an effeminate queer man who wears pink, uses lipstick, is up and front (sometimes literally) with his kinky sex life, and who's also a cruel, power-drunk gangster who turns into a cowardly pathetic pissbaby the moment he's no longer backed by armed goons. The showrunners and artists sure worked hard to make you actively despise and look down at a villain who juuust so happens to also be the kind of queer person who's already frequently targeted by bigotry in real life, and at one point it feels like the show is this close to dropping a line about Pagan being the "wrong" kind of gay. Following it up with an otherwise out-of-nowhere spiel about Dolph still struggling with his own insecurities and closet doesn't magically erase this whole problem, either, it just highlights that the production team was most likely aware of this unfortunate framing and tried to sweep it under the rug.

By the way: when I started out watching, I was surprised by the fact that I haven't really seen any of my mutuals posting NSFW with the show's characters except for Bullfrog - but by the end I absolutely understood why the only thing from Laserhawk that caught any real traction with people was the godddamn Asssassin's Creed French Frog Joke Character. Aside from the very weird premise, the increasingly diminished pop-cultural staying power of Ubisoft games (for what little it means - all pre-existing characters are so heavily redesigned and rewritten they barely have anything in common with the source material) and lack of marketing (I only got around to watch it because GF's moot recommended the show to her and she recommended it to me), half the show is too barebones and the other half is too uninteresting to make a bigger wave in online spaces.

Ylthin's Media Thread thingy for the tail-end of 2023 and 2024:

Normally I'd do it on Twitter but I fully expect that site to collapse in 6 months.

Glen Cook, "Czarna Kompania"/"Cień w ukryciu" ("Black Company"/"Shadows Linger") (Rebis, 2009 Polish edition, 2022 reprint)

I'm starting this list somewhat off the curb - I've finished the 2nd novel from this omnibus release just now, but I've also read the first one earlier this year... and I don't have much to say about either, honestly. The prose is kind of clunky and awkward in a way that takes a moment to adjust to, and without directly comparing the Polish translation to the English original I can't tell how much of this unwieldiness is due to poor translation job and how much of it is just inherent to Cook's style. You're not reading this book for its characters, either - most of them are memorable only because of constant exposure, as names that you eventually learn to map to a broad role in the story or one, maybe two vague personality/appearance traits. What carried me through was what I can broadly describe as "vibes" and long-term significance of Black Company books - or maybe the wave of genre-fiction they were a part of. It certainly wasn't the first grim and gritty fantasy series out there, and the backside blurb's boasts about how Cook "brought the fantasy genre down to the level of common men" are very overblown (the books are literally about an evil sorceress' plan for world domination clashing against her messy divorce with her Dark Lord husband and a prophecy about the "divine savior" figure coming back further pissing into her breakfast), but I can still notice the seeds of interesting ideas being planted here and there (thank you MandaloreGaming for making me aware of Myth games, shame that they're downright impossible to legally obtain anymore), and the grit (while going for a very predictable "everyone is utterly miserable and the whores will give you all the STDs" route, and feeling more like catnip for 14-year-old boys rather than genuine "maturity") fortunately doesn't cross the line into unbearable edgelord territories yet. It was a part of the same wave of dark fantasy that either molded me directly (through Sapkowski's The Witcher novels and "Berserk"), indirectly (through a thousand imitators years down the line, from local fantasy authors of the 2000s to video games - Heroes of Might & Magic 5 in particular was retrospectively very blatantly inspired by Warhammer Fantasy), or infected me with sudden-onset brainrot in my mid-20s (Warhammer 40.000), and I can definitely feel and appreciate it even if I find these books to be rather mediocre so far.

I just wish I could get my hands on Moorcock's Elric books without going through a dozen hoops, but I guess I'll make do with Cook, Erikson and the odd Warhammer novel for the time being.

Oh, and this cover art? That tattered "dashing rogue" look, that borderline fractal leather-and-cloth patterning, the random spiky structures in the background? The long bob hair and goatee look straight out of the music video for "Imperium" by Machine Head? A cover that makes you think not even of actual early 2000s buttrock, but of Stuart Chatwood emulating it for Prince of Persia: Warrior Within's soundtrack? Hillariously mismatched with the actual novels. I haven't seen a choice this baffling since reading my dad's faded mid-90s pulp booklet edition of Ursula LeGuin's "Rocannon's World" paired up with either Vallejo or Frazetta sword-and-sandals artwork.