#It has been since I was a toddler

[chicago-geniza]

I had grilled chicken and a vegetable melange with broccoli, flashed sesame kale, grilled brussels sprouts, roasted garlic cauliflower, and green beans, plus vinegar-based coleslaw with mustard seeds on the side. Now I am drinking a Moscow mule. I got cod filets with a side salad and more slaw for tomorrow. Brown Bag Seafood Co. is my favorite place in Chicago when I am hungry, in a flare, in too much pain to prepare meals at home, and need filling, nourishing food that adheres to the autoimmune protocol. Thank you Brown Bag Seafood Co.

[kacievvbbbb]

Some Goth Fam Modern AU headcanons I can't stop thinking about and will probably explode if I don't put pen to paper or in this case- Type to screen

Here we go. This is going to be a long one;

-Shanks isnt officially part of the goth family. Even though he's know these kids since mihawk had them, helped raise them is always there in the morning to take them to school and is practically their other father. Perona and Zoro still refer to him as "Mihawk's bum of a boyfriend" (byprodcut of hearing mihawk call shanks a bum one to many times).

-Zoro and Perona relentlessly troll mihawk for having only 2 friends and they are his boyfriend and business partner. even though perona herself only has like 1 friend and a gaggle of minions.

-Perona got a giant bear cut out all the stuffing and used to make a baby zoro wear the carcass of her destuffed bear. baby zoro was very chill about all this.

-People think mihawk is a housewife but he actually has a job with the government that nobody really knows what it is and nobody is really allowed to talk about. he just never goes in except for the once a month meeting where they threaten to fire him.

-They have a groupchat just the three of them called "The Family" and then another one with shanks sinces hes the one that actually drives them places called "the family and shanks"

-Mihawk is the type of person to get a family portrait every time the kids have grown to look significantly different from the last so every couple of years. They are all extremely giant and actually painted. these are the only family picture hanging on the walls. even tho mihawk secretly scrapbooks all the pictures shanks takes.

-Mihawk has had them since they were toddlers they still call him Mihawk tho. excpet zoro hits 13 and starts exclusively referring to him as Hawkeyes or "that guy".

-Mihawk is a crunchy mom tm and they grew up in an ingredient household. But because mihawk is a grazer at heart and zoro needs fuel like a truck and all their little friends all practically live at their house. Theres awlays charcuterie boards on hand. Zoro never had a pop tart until he went to Luffy's house one time. He asked Mihawk what fruit snacks are and he reacted like zoro just summoned the devil into their home. He's very Nara smith I cook all my kids meals from scratch coded. He's definitely running one of those mommy blogs and being really bitchy and personal attacky about the whole thing and hes not even trying to hide it. Literally two steps away from bring a mommy influencer. literally just needs the instagram page (which he has but doesn't know its run by perona).

-Despite this zoro and perona cant cook for shit. That one tiktok video of the woman showing her husband what she used to have for a midnight snake as a kid in an ingredient house and it was just a bowl of mixed vegetables is so them coded. Despite mihawk's nara smith tendencies once thye get to a certain age every meal but dinner is every man for himself. mihawk only cooks once and so raises a family of girl lunch havers and grazers. Zoro thinks a greenshake is a snack. his eating habits are a source of constant stress for sanji.

-Perona is definitely an influencer her content ranges from fashion stuff to content about her strange family (she tries to get them to make tiktoks and msot of the videos are just zoro's resignantion and mihawk's funnily shutting that shit down with a swiftness) and just stories of her weird family and her brothers even weirder friends. nobody can figure out what their family dynamics are.

-shanks definelty makes those "dealing my italian husband psychic damage videos" except they are like my Spanish-Romanian husband and mihawk get genuinely upset and every video ends witrh the threat of shanks being murdered.

-Nobody on these channels realizes that this mihawk is the same internationally recognized as the best swordfighter to ever live Dracule Mihawk.

-Zoro goes to the local community college with most of the gang while perona goes to a fashion college as a fashion/fashion history major. she lives on campus but is home every weekend tho so mihawk can do her laundry and restock her fridge.

-Only luffy and nami who are his childhood friends truly know just how fucking rich his family is even tho Zoro and the parent that zoro and luffy both weirdly share, despite not being otherwise related, look and act like bums. They meet the rest of the straw hats in college.

-At no given time do shanks or zoro even have 20 dollars on them something that endlessly frustrates everyone else around them. Usopp has bought one to many meals for zoro to be nothing other than incensed when he is invited to "summer" at their lake house thats more like a resort. Zoro can live in a converted mid century castle but Usopp has seen him pay for a sandwhich with a collection of change.

-people often wonder where exactly perona got her bratty attitude from because zoro and mihawk are pretty chill, composed guys. and then they see how mihawk acts around Shanks and the lenghts of childishness Shanks can push him too and then they

-Zoro and Mihawk are endlessly competing at petty meaningless activities espoecially if they involve cutting things with a blade. they have a running count into the 300s off how much mihawk has won vs zoro and he is endlessly smug about it. Zoro has only just begun to start clawing more victories for himself. He recently won their speed cucumber cutting challenge and mihawk was non to pleased about this.

-Adopted this one from a mutual; but Mihawk used to take Perona to all the twighlight, pop girlie, pastel goth stuff and pretends that its all a hastle even tho he's really into the stuff and has been since perona got into it.

-They are the kind of family that always had dinner together but would have every other meal wherever and whenever but since perona is away at college it became sunday lunch and dinner which just turned into sunday bruch for practically the entire neighborhood because zoro and perona keep inviting their weird friends over. and now its a whole thing and mihawk is none to pleased.

-Mihawk was about to be an empty nester and then s-hawk falls in his lap and heres another kid he has to look after and makes sure survives till adulthood 🙄. S-hawk ironically for all he looks exactly like him is the child that acts the least like him (This is largely zoro's influence) And he's definetly that stereotype of when you parents decide to have a kid in their 40s and they grow up in a completely different household than you did. like who even are these people?? S-hawk actually gets to have fruit snacks and zoro is still super salty about this. Because Mihawk was just off achieving his biggest dream with nothing better to do that to pout all his energy into being a parent to these two monsters. but now he has actually has a job that he actively needs to work at🙄

-Zoro looks baby sits s-hawk the most and like s-hawk is like 5 to zoro's 20 and zoro is definitely one of those people that doesnt "play" with kids instead he just folds s-hawk into whatever routine he has for the day without missing a step. He takes him with him to his classes at the community college. He pulls up a chair for s-hawk he has his own little notebook and everything everytime people try to coo at him Zoro tells them to leave him a lone the little dude's trying to learn here. He takes him to the gym like all those videos with dads and their babies repping sets. He gives s-hawk baby dumbells and teaches him proper form and everything. just goes about his life like there isnt a 5 year old trailing him like a duckling. Zoro puts on act for mihawk but he loves having a little buddy since chopper's kind of outgrown it.

-Zoro and Mihawk both talk to baby s-hawk like a regular person. Mihawk talks to him likes he's a distinguished gentleman with thoughts and opinions and who should know better than to fling food and toys and he often reads him the news. Zoro talks to him like he's just a dude definetly the type to have a beer with the baby while they sit on the couch watching sports. Perona and Shanks are the ones that actually treat him like a baby and baby talk him and shanks is definietly one of those parents that's always doing extreme sports stuff with a baby while Perona essentially treats him like a teddy bear / dress up doll. she and mihawk are the only ones allowed to make clothing decisons for him after the time he came home from a shopping trip with zoro and shanks looking like both a bum and a middle aged dad on vacation. Shanks was allowed to keep one tiny s-hawk sized haiwain shirt.

-Zoro essentially raises s-hawk like he's his child 😭. Like Junior and devante from Black-ish but he's less upront about this. He keeps adding things to the kid's schedule without telling Mihawk and essentially treats mihawk like the unwanted third in their relationship. He takes him everywhere with him. People would think that was his kid if he didn't look so intensely like mihawk. He signs baby hawk up for kendo classes from the age like 3 cause he'll be damned if he takes after mihawk's swordsmanship. He attends every practice he gets very intense during matches. its a whole thing. He also keeps signing baby hawk up for random extracurriclars that Mihawk can't keep up with and change depending on season. Baby hawk is in baby gymnastics with all the other seraphim. Zoro is very invested in this. Zoro the type to pull up to a heist with a baby.

[bluerosefox]

Of Godsons, Fruitloops, and Lois 'I will drag all secrets out into the sun' Lane

Danny loses his parents due to their own lack of safety in the lab (death? Coma? People finally putting their foot down about the Fenton's endangering their kids? Idk pick). Jazz can't take him in due to being in college and living on its campus (and he didnt want to force her into an apartment just to keep him, he saw the prices and knows she'll have to work to make rent) and Danny fears the only place he can go to is... Vlad. (Sam's parents would never let him live with her and Tucker's place doesn't have the room)

Vlad's been lording it over Danny, smug about it all, after all he IS Danny's godfather and he has the space and money to provide for the boy in his time of need.

Only, when digging into Danny's files, his social worker discovers Vlad isn't Danny's godfather, he was meant to be but the Fenton's forgot to send/sign in the final paperwork (even if those documents were the only contact they had with Vlad over the years before the reunion)

No Danny's godparent, the person to take him should anything happen to the Fenton's is....

Lois Lane.

His mom's childhood friend.

[lazybakerart]

☆Team☆Urameshi☆

[idontevenremember5minutesago]

Feeling cute.

Might fuck around and become a Tmnt blog for a couple of months.

[mintleflower]

ignore Rogier ok

[raystranslationsfestival]

Dependable Older Brother.

Type: Skit. Character: Luke (First Skit). Characters Featured: Luke, Yuri.

Translation, recording, subbing by Shi. Proofread by Yewfelle.

[pansyfemme]

one thing about me i will eat amounts of halva that can only be described as highly peverse

[thepunkmuppet]

and if I said bobby x crowley is toxic old man yaoi, then what.

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

They're the same.

[ratatatastic]

a brief summary of the ekky shenanigans these past 2 weeks

[scarlettfevor]

How it feels to watch minecraft diaries as a 21 year old woman

[starry-bi-sky]

Debuting Preparations

To avoid confusion, Danny will be referred to as ‘Danny’ rather than Thomas. This is a little snippet I thought of for my ‘Danny Fenton is Thomas Wayne au’ (different name pending)

OG Post

Miscellaneous Stuff P1

Miscellaneous Stuff P2

“How do I look, Boo?” Danny asked, his hands falling away from the tie wrapped around his neck as his eyes dropped to the little two year old next to him.

Bruce grinned toothily at him, raising his arms in a silent demand for uppies that Danny naturally had to follow. “Awesome, daddy!” He yelled, his voice layered with a toddler accent while his small legs hooked around Danny’s waist the moment he had him settled on his hip.

Danny matched his grin tooth-for-tooth, fingers digging into his ribs for a quick tickle as he blew a raspberry into Bruce’s cheek. Bruce squealed with laughter, and Danny dipped them both, laughing as he straightened up and Bruce tried to wriggle out of his arms.

“Good!” He said, removing the fingers from Bruce’s ribs and twisting to face the floor-length mirror. “We wouldn’t want daddy to look not awesome today, would we?” His cheek pressed against Bruce’s little black curls and Bruce leaned his head against his shoulder.

Bruce shook his head, his cheeks red with laughter. “Nooo.”

“No.” Danny agreed, his ghostly core purring low in content as he planted a kiss on the top of his son’s head. “We would not.”

Ask him three years ago when he was in the prime of his ghost-fighting days if he knew that he’d be living in Wayne Manor with a clone-son under the name Thomas Wayne, and Danny would have straight up just called you crazy. But here he was, in Wayne Manor, under the name Thomas Wayne, with a two year old son on his hip.

Some things are just too good to be true.

(Of course that’s if you ignore all the bullshit that happened along the way that ended with Danny being here.)

Now he was standing in a bedroom that was as big as the lab back home, preparing for his debut as the newly adopted son Thomas Wayne. Anyone who was anyone would be there, his new family seldom threw parties that weren’t charity balls, and even now his debut would have donation boxes for the various programs and charities in Gotham and outside of it.

He was in the nicest three-piece suit that he could afford (which was a lot now that he was part of the Wayne family,) and his normally fluffy black hair was slicked back and styled, showing off the pearl studs that Danny stole from Mrs. Wayne’s jewelry box.

(“Stole” as if Mrs. Wayne “call me Miriam” hadn’t gifted them to him.)

He looked like an entirely different person in the mirror. He didn’t look like runaway teen dad Daniel Fenton, ex-vigilante Phantom.

And that…

That was good. That was so good.

He looked like Thomas Nightingale-turned-Wayne. Still a teen dad, but just a regular one. Not a vigilante, not the son of ghost hunters. Just the adopted son of the very rich and philanthropic Wayne couple. He looked like just Thomas.

He smiled at himself in the mirror, a wriggling feeling of awe thrumming through his chest as he turned his head this way and that, looking for every little reminder of his past afterlife that didn’t take the form of his scars. The pearls glittered in his ears, adding to him an elegance that he didn’t know he possessed.

Danny wondered… if he changed now to Phantom, would he still look the same? Identity was everything to a ghost; who they were and what they present as is all that remains of them after death. It shows the world what the most important aspects of themself was. It shows the world what they thought was important.

If Danny’s changed, does that mean Phantom did too?

A loud series of knocks dragged him out of his introspection. Bruce wriggled out of his arms, and Danny put him down before he could be dropped, and then he faced the door. “Come in!” He called, his nerves igniting under his skin and he folded his hands behind his back in response.

The doorknob twisted, then clicked, and then the door swung open. Alfred Pennyworth, the new butler and predecessor of the old butler, also a Pennyworth, stood stiffly under the frame. “Master Thomas,” he greeted, the picture of butler formality in a suit, “it’s nearly time for you and Master Patrick and Mistress Miriam to leave for your debut gala, the car has been parked out front and is ready to leave when you are ready.”

Danny smiled easily at Alfred, watching Bruce from the corner of his eye as he exclaimed ‘Alfred!’ before darting toward him and latching onto his legs. Alfred’s only been with them for a few weeks and Bruce had warmed up significantly to the young man. Which was saying something because Bruce never warmed up to anyone that wasn’t Danny, or Mr. and Mrs. Wayne.

“Thanks Alfred.” He said, walking over in just a few quick strides, “And please, it’s just Thomas.” He’s been having growth spurts ever since he joined the Wayne household last year and now was edging closer to his dad’s height at a solid over-six-foot. Albeit with none of the muscle, apparently he inherited his mom’s litheness.

Plucking Bruce off of the ground, his son automatically reached for Alfred, and Danny saw the barest of smiles on the corner of Alfred’s mouth as he took Bruce from him. “I’m afraid I will have to continue referring to you as Master Thomas, Master Thomas.“

“One day I’ll convince you.” Danny joked, waiting for Alfred to step out of the doorway before moving down the hallway. “You can’t keep calling me Master Thomas forever!” He’s annoyed stubborner people into doing what he wants before, he’ll wear down Alfred eventually.

“I do believe I can, Master Thomas.” Alfred quipped lightly, adjusting his hold on Bruce so that he was better situated on his hip. Bruce was playing with his tie again, ignoring their conversation in all the ways a two year old can. An easy sort of innocence that Danny never failed to be endeared by.

He pulled on the sleeves of his suit-jacket thoughtlessly, the small silvery cufflinks shimmering from the corner of his eye, trying to demand for Danny’s attention. He knows it got Bruce’s, his son’s head snapping away from Alfred’s tie to watch his wrists. Like a cat watching a laser-pointer.

Danny laughed softly and twisted his wrists slowly, letting the cufflinks glitter under the lights. Bruce’s pupils began to dilate, and the tips of his ears — rounder than Danny’s but pointier than a regular human’s — twitched very slightly.

Bruce held his arms out towards his wrists, leaning out of Alfred’s grasp to grab them. “See—! Let me see!” He demanded, nearly falling out of Alfred’s hold. Alfred’s hand shot out to grab him before he could tumble out of his arms, a look of momentary panic flashing over his face.

“Master Bruce!” He exclaimed, and then he took on a more scolding look. “You have to be careful, you can’t throw yourself out of someone’s arms like that!”

Bruce wriggled with a loud, child-like whine. “I wanna see! Pretty!” He said, then tried reaching for Danny again.

“Please, Boo.” Danny reminded, circling his palm over his chest, but he was already holding his arms out to Bruce to take him. Bruce might be as close to human as he could get with the extra benefits, but he still had some ghostly habits. Being attracted to sudden shiny things was one of them.

“Please.” Bruce repeated, pressing his hand to his chest and making a small circle. It wasn’t a perfect please, but it was the best he could do at two. Danny took him from Alfred and gave him his wrist as he settled him on his side.

Danny ran his fingers through Bruce’s hair and stroked his cheek. Bruce merely played with his cufflinks, pulling on the silver buttons and turning them this way and that to try and catch the light. “Alfred’s right, you can’t lean out like that, Boo. You could get hurt.”

Bruce didn’t look up and didn’t respond, so Danny lightly pinched his cheek. Although ‘pinch’ wouldn’t be the right term for it. He mimicked the pinching gesture and held his cheek, but didn’t actually use any pressure. It was just to get his attention. He lightly shook his cheek, “Did you hear me, Boo? We ask to get down if we want to get down, okay?”

“Okay.” Bruce said, glancing up at him briefly only to look back down at his cufflinks a moment later. With a soft huff Danny dropped his hand and tightened his hold.

“Can we say sorry to Alfred then? It really scared him when you nearly fell.” Scared was an exaggeration, and Danny saw Alfred give him a bemused look from the corner of his eye.

Again, Bruce looked up for only a moment, and this time he looked at Alfred. “Bruce is sorry Alfred.” He said, tiny fingers crunched around Danny’s sleeve. His ‘Alfred’ sounded more like an ‘Al-fed’, and Alfred smiled endearingly even when Bruce dropped his head back down a second later.

Danny huffed low again, shooting Alfred an apologetic smile as he pulled his hand out of Bruce’s little grasp and stroked his hair. “We’re getting there.”

————taglist————

@vipower001

@storm-and-fire

@blankliferain

@chrysanthemum9484

@mnemovoid

@blueflipflops (why not? I remember mentioning i’d tag you if I make a oneshot, lmk if you dont wanna be tagged)

@steampunkunicorn01 (I remember you asked for a tag too in my og post)

@the-legal-shipper

@skulld3mort-1fan

Its not exactly a fic but its a oneshot so it kinda counts. Lmk if any of yall dont wanna get tagged in any future oneshots or continuations (or if you would but only for specific posts)

Extra note: Bruce’s behavior and dialogue is based off of how i’ve seen actual two year olds act and speak (which can differ based on where they are developmentally and as a two year old. If they’ve recently turned two, they could still be speaking essentially broken english. Then as they get closer to three they start speaking in more complete sentences. I know two little girls who referred to themselves in third person for a while, hence the ‘Bruce is sorry’.) I’m a daycare teacher so I’ve seen a lot of two year olds, so its written to my best abilities while avoiding common ‘child writing stereotypes’.

[br1ghtestlight]

paper and oj break up and paper is having a really hard time and he's sensitive and emotional and everyone at the hotel doesnt know how to talk to him cuz theyve Always known oj and paper as the standard ii couple and then he just goes to fan's room and hes like HIII PAPER WANT TO HEAR ME INFODUMP ABOUT CLUB PENGUIN FOR 45 MINUTES ^_^ but its the only time paper's felt normal in weeks lmao

[raccoonium]

i'm sorry what

[ser4fhim]

doing an advanced horse camp at my barn this week and it has come to my attention that the fellow horse owners / leasers my age are pretty reliably “meh” about their horses.

this is why i should be allowed to lease ( cos owning is impossible for us, financially ). i would be fucking obsessed with that horse. i would be going rabid, talking EXCLUSIVELY about them. i would be physically unable to think about anything but that horse specifically i would ADORE that creature. they would hands down be the Most Loved Baby on this planet.