#Incorrect soldier boy quote

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Incorrect The Boys quote (1.0)

Soldier Boy : Honey, Pumpkin, Sugarplum-

(Y/n) cuts him off : What did you do?

Soldier Boy : Why does something have to be wrong?

(Y/n) gives him a pointed look, making him cave.

Soldier Boy rubbing his neck nervously : I may or may not have destroyed your car.

(Y/n) fuming : YOU WHAT!?

(2.0 here)

[shaypie67]

Incorrect Quotes - The Boys P1

Y/N: I made this friendship bracelet for you. Soldier Boy: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person. Y/n: You don't have to wear it... Soldier Boy: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Fuck off.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Sam: Maybe I’m dreaming. Pinch me!

Sam:

Sam: Not on the butt, Bucky.

Bucky: Sorry, it was just there.

[kerwinthefrog]

The Boys Incorrect Quotes #2

Deep: “If I have one more sippy sip there’s gonna be a slippy slip down my leg.”

---

Hughie: “There’s a hot springs, zoos, and political corruption.”

---

Butcher: “Straight from church and into a nightclub. Like a real Russian.”

---

Stillwell: “Ashley’s going to praise God and then drink about it.”

---

Homelander: (in a baby voice) “Aww.. does someone want to go to the bathroom?”

---

Frenchie: “Did it hurt?”

Kimiko: “No, not much–”

Frenchie: “When you fell from Heaven?”

Kimiko:

---

Homelander: “Is that a phone, Deep?”

Deep: “No, I would never.”

(loud thunk in the trash can, where the phone would stay for the remainder of the meeting)

---

Frenchie: “White’s always right–oh that sounds…”

---

(Hughie, Noir, Deep, and Ryan all sitting at a table)

Noir: “The AuDHD at this table is off the charts. Phenomenal.”

---

Starlight: “Don’t go with Homelander to the dance. It’s self-harm.”

---

Ashley: “Homelander has been telling people you got a divorce.”

Starlight: “We’re still married!”

Ashley: “Well your fake husband has been telling people you got a fake divorce.”

Starlight: “What if he’s fake cheating on me?”

---

Butcher: “During the Women’s Rights Movement, Abraham Lincoln freed women from the kitchen.”

---

Hughie: “This is supposed to be a safe environment.”

Soldier Boy: “Not for fat people.”

---

Soldier Boy: (on never reading Harry Potter) “I have no clue what happens if it wasn’t in the movie.”

Frenchie: “He doesn’t know who Peeves is!”

Kimiko: (reading) “Shoot!”

Soldier Boy: “Kimiko’s really upset by this.”

Kimiko: “I actually couldn’t care less.”

---

Homelander: “You may have heard legends and myths about me.”

---

MM: “Some parts of your body don’t need to see the sun.”

---

A-Train: “Deep’s a fruity instigator!”

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Butcher: “This is an intervention. You look stupid.”

---

Ryan, Hughie: (using chewed gum to build an army of mini gorillas)

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Homelander: “Real poor people don’t have a table.”

---

Deep: “He sells c0cks for a living.”

---

Maeve: “But Deep spelled ‘women’ wrong TEN DIFFERENT TIMES–”

---

Ryan: “Dear Heavenly Father, please rain so I don’t have to run the mile.”

[tokoyamisstuff]

Homelander: I think for this play you should do the role of Soldier Boy.

The Deep: What? I don't want to be your fucking father!

Homelander: Perfect, you already know all your lines!

[ferneah]

Wise words from Soldier Boy

[totallycorrectsupes]

Hughie: sucks how they forced you into anti-weed propaganda in the 70s, like you don’t love smoking weed

Soldier Boy: to be fair pal, I also loved taking money for starring in anti-weed propaganda in the 80s, and then using that money to buy more weed

[botslayer]

Soldier Boy, bleeding and utterly beaten by a somehow victorious Homelander: *labored, rough breathing.*

Homelander: "It's so sad that Steve Jobs died of Ligma."

Soldier Boy: "Who the hell is Steve Jobs?"

Homelander: "Ligma Balls." *Laser blast*

[missloubanner]

Hughie: and this is the man I fell in love with?

[sharkaiju]

Ryan: Dads see their kids and go "Is anybody gonna emotionally traumatize that?" and then don't wait for an answer.

Homelander: Dads see their kids??

[wisefoxluminary]

Homelander: Do you apologise for questioning my skills?

Soldier Boy: I apologise for questioning your skills

Soldier Boy: You know how to bite a dick, Homelander

Soldier Boy: I mean that with the utmost of respect

[commandanteur]

tag list!

[7s3ven]

Hear me out guys… retired soldiers now bodyguards! task force 141 x spoiled heiress! reader

( just an idea )

You’re like, a nutcase. Your father adores you but sometimes you can go out of control. Like for instance, the time you jumped off a cliff into the ocean below to impress a boy.

Yeah, your father wasn’t very impressed with your behaviour.

On top of your recklessness, your father has enemies who always seem to target you. You’re his obvious weakness and he can’t spend another moment of anxiously wondering if you’re okay while he’s working.

So, he hires the best bodyguards he can find. And they turn out to be retired soldiers from an elite unit known as Task Force 141. Perfect.

You don’t take kindly to being continuously followed by four large men who don’t even try to be subtle. It’s not like taking care of you is easy either. You’re a troublemaker, you always have been since your mother left you for another family (your reckless tendencies tend to stem from the fact that you’re causing trouble to get her to notice you again).

Task Force 141 has had enough when you attempt to sneak out of the house to a party on a Friday night. But it seems apart from shopping and acting like a brat, you aren’t good at anything else.

They hear a crash and someone swearing loudly before you roll off the roof, landing in the bushes right outside the window where the four men have a perfect view of you. They were watching a football came until you interrupted.

Jonny bursts into laughter, slapping Gaz out of amusement, while Price fetches you and forces you back inside.

“You know, your house has a back door for a reason.” Simon utters as he cleans your scratches but there’s a mocking indication to his tone.

“Yeah but like, going out the window felt more cool.” You argue back, furrowing your eyebrows.

“Was it cool when you face planted into the ground?”

You can only pout in annoyance.

From then on, they don’t leave you alone, especially not on Friday nights. You have to deal with being squished between Price and Simon as they watch a boring documentary on… fish? Jonny definitely chose that one.

But hey, you aren’t exactly complaining. Being stuck between the two men means being able to feel their muscles and smell their strong cologne. You tolerate the four men more after they cleaned your scratches from landing in a bush and carried you to your bed.

And so what if you catch feelings? Anybody else in your position would have done the same.

“We can’t date ya, lovie. We’re too old and we work for your dad.”

Do you care? Not really.

“My dad literally hired you because I was a troublemaker. Ya think I give a shit? ‘Sides, the older the better.”

Jonny jabs a thumb in Price’s direction, “Even the captain? You should’ve seen ‘im in his prime. Way better looking.” He hands you a picture that he just happens to have of Price.

You glance at it then lift your head to look at Price. Your lips curve into a teasing smile. “Yeah, you’re right. What happened, Captain?” You joke.

INCORRECT QUOTES FOR THE LAUGHS:

Kidnapper, negotiating with TF 141: We have the annoying heiress. Give us ten thousand dollars and they will be returned to you unharmed

Y/N: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars. MAKE IT ONE MILLION–

Price: Y/N, STOP

Simon: Can I be frank with you guys?

Jonny: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Gaz: Can I still be Gaz?

Y/N: Shh, let Frank speak.

Gaz: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Simon: *turning to Y/N* How tall are you?

Price: Where's Simon, Gaz, and Y/N?

Jonny: They're playing hide and seek.

Price: Where?

Jonny: I don't think you get how this game works.

Y/N: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Simon: Several traffic violations.

Gaz: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Jonny: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Price: Also, that’s not our car.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Sam: You jumped out of a moving plane rather than talk to me about your feelings!

Bucky: You're exaggerating. The air sucked me out like a vacuum.

Sam: You hit the ground and started running!

[skylarsblue]

✦Even. More. Incorrect C.o.D Quotes.✦

Y/N, pinning Soap’s arms with their thighs in sparring: Haha! Eat shit, Scotsman! Soap, struggling: FUCKIN’ ‘ELL, The hell is in your thighs?! Y/N: Pure spite and protein, bitch! --

Someone: Hey Johnny. Y/N: Oh, no, only Ghost can- Soap: Oi! Only Y/N & Ghost can pull that off, it’s Soap to you. Y/N: Yeah he- wait me too? *gaaassp* Ohhh is this what favoritism feels like?! Soap: Pfft, maybe! Y/N: I enjoy it a lot! <3

-- American!Y/N: Fuckin’ git, he’s off his rocker, that one. The entire team: … American!Y/N: *dramatically smacks their hand over their mouth* Gaz: *laughing* Was that genuine?! Y/N: AH, I’ve been conditioned! I’ve been colonized! Soap: COLONI-*WHEEZE*

-- Fem Fatal!Y/N: What th- what is this, a spy movie? You want me to infiltrate by being some eye candy?! Laswell: It’s the best option we have. Ghost: I disagree with this. Soap: Me too! This feels real nasty, I think. Fem Fatal!Y/N: *sigh* Fine, I’ll do it. God gave me these tits for a reason, might as well use’em for somethin’. Gaz: PFF-no no, don’t be funny, this is a bad situation.

-- Graves: No! You can’t, cause if you take it- …you’ll be hurting my feelings :((( Ghost: You know, I was thinking about that. And, the thing is…I really don’t care.

-- (In a ride back to base; just makin’ conversation)

Gaz: Do you find boys attractive? Or girls. That’s one what to check, if you’re not sure. Y/N: *chuckles* You think I’m not sure? Y/N: Everyone’s attractive to be honest, even if it’s just something small. Like, some people have really gorgeous hands. Y/N: I don’t know…I’m a little bit in love with everyone I meet. But I think that’s normal. Gaz: …hm, suppose that’s a fair answer…

-- Soap, laughing: You watch it or might just start fallin’ for ya, L.T! Ghost: …would you like to? Soap: Eh-…huh? Simon: Would you like to? Fall in love with me, I mean… Soap: ….well I-…well, yeah. I wouldn’t mind…if you’d let me. Simon: …I’d let you. Soap: Well then, guess that’s it then. Woo me, Si. Simon: I’ll do my best.

-- Someone: I don't need advice from a team of virgin losers. Y/N: VIRGIN LOSERS?! *grabs Price’s shoulder and motions to him aggressively* You gonna tell me you think this man doesn’t fuck for a living?! HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?! Gaz & Soap: *for the millionth time trying not to laugh* Price: *he’s not encouraging it but he does look kinda smug*

-- Gaz, on TikTok: Everyone’s always like “Kyle how’d you bag a baddie, how’d you bag that baddie bruh-“ I didn’t bag shit. Y/N picked me up from my neck, threw me over their shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since. (Zooms out to show that he is in fact, on their shoulder) Gaz: And I ain’t got no plans on getting off anytime soon-

(This also works with Soap & Ghost)

-- Y/N: Why’s it always you got mommy issues or you got daddy issues? Me personally? Both my parents got me messed up, the side I pick? Is mine. I ain’t Hannah Montana- Y/N: 🎶but I got the best of both worlds!~🎵 Ghost: *he’s laughing on the inside, I swear*

-- Ghost, on the verge of dissociating: Why be sad…when you can just be ✨g o n e✨ Soap: Si, no-

-- Graves: Punch me. In the face. Didn’t you hear me? Y/N: I always hear “punch me in the face” when you speak, but it’s usually subtext. Graves: *huff* Well I- *gets punched so hard he falls over* Y/N: ….that felt good. Ghost: I’m so proud- Price: Stop encouraging them.

-- Soap, bursting into the briefing room: Y/N got into a fight! (Insert running scene) Price: Soldier, what hap- Ghost, sliding up in front of them: Did you win? Y/N: Of course I won. Ghost: Nice. Price: STOP ENCOURAGING VIOLENCE-

-- Y/N, in a vent above a room: Soap, it’s me, the devil! Soap: *wheeze* Gaz: *trying so hard not to laugh* Y/N: I’m here to convince you to do SIN. Come with me. Steal candy from babies and from small businesses! Soap: *WHEEZE*

-- Y/N, passing by: *does that super flirty “up & down” look* Hey König…~ König: Hallo, guten morgen. Y/N: *smiles and keeps going* König, as soon as they’re gone: *deep breath* Ohmeingottohmeingott *tiny scream*

-- Ghost after being asked about his feelings on Soap: *heavy breathing* ……..nextquestion-

-- Gaz, a menace on TikTok: Batches be on the lookout for Captain Save-A-Hoe, cause he savin’ hoes. Price, minding his business: ? Y/N, dramatically “swooning” in the background: I WANNA BE SAAAAAVED *falls* Price, unaware he’s having a thirst trap made for him: ?????

-- (I think bullying Graves is funny)

Graves: Let me tell you how this is gonna work- Y/N: You ain’t gonna tell me shit. Graves: Listen!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Listen to me!- Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: Shut up, listen to me! Y/N: Suck my dick, you fuck man. Graves: Listen!! Y/N: Suck my dick. Graves: You will be here and listen to my ord- Y/N: You’ll be here sucking my dick. Graves: Listen to me, now! Y/N: Go fuck yourself.

-- Y/N: I would rather lead my team into a pit of fire, than have them wield guns for your ignorant usurper cunt of a general. Price: *mans is so proud it’s showing in his chops*

-- Simon: Your eyes are like sapphires…jeez…ahem, that’s pretty corny though, huh? Soap, swooning: No, not at all. Anyone would like it…aha… Simon: …uh…is this- Soap: Working? Oh yeah, thoroughly wooed, sir. Simon: Good, good.

-- Price: Please tell me you didn’t drag the boys into this. Y/N: I didn’t drag Soap & Gaz into this! *insert banging on door* Price: Who is that? Y/N: I think you know.

-- Soap: I wouldn’t wish that ‘pon my worst enemy. Unless, of course, we’re talkin’ ‘bout my enemy Philip Graves. Soap: Fuck you, Phillip(/neg), you know what you did.

-- Gaz: So you have feelings for this person. Just rip the bandaid off. Y/N, with daddy issues: It’s Price. Gaz: *inhales through his teeth* Put the bandaid back on.

-- Y/N: …Ghost? You’re into Ghost? Soap: Mhm…thoughts? Y/N: And prayers, Johnny. And prayers.

-- Gaz: Are you straight? Y/N: *chokes on drink* Don’t ever fucking insult me like that ever again.

-- (Some type of escort mission or somethin’)

Price: This woman wouldn’t know how to fix a broken fingernail. Fem!Y/N: Honestly, you lot have to be the most boorish, crude, pig-headed men I’ve ever met. Price: Hey, I’ve seen the high-bred boys you’ve hung out with, princess. I’m the only man you’ve ever met.

(Insert overly intense sexual tension here)

-- König: How does that even make any- *knife sound* König: *looks down at the knife in his thigh* Did you just- *takes knife out* Did you just stab me? What is your problem?!

-- (I’m only using Alejandro cause the dude in the audio had a slight Spanish accent, mans is definitely a feminist)

Alejandro: It’s not natural for girls to fight. Fem!Y/N: Now it’s not natural for a man to be as stupid as he is tall, but mm. Here you stand! Alejandro, in love: …

[stardust948]

BES Incorrect Quotes 5

Taigen: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Mizu: Thanks, it's the trauma.

~*~

Mizu: Wondering where I’ve been?

Akemi: No, I knew you were gone and it was nice.

~*~

Heiji Shindo: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Abijah Fowler, cracks his knuckles: Manslaughter it is.

~*~

Ringo after knowing Mizu for five minutes: He’s my best friend. He’s my pal. He’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He’s my sweet cheese, my good time boy.

~*~

Akemi: What's your blood type?

Mizu: How would I know?

Akemi: How would you not!?

Mizu: Who am I, Karl Landsteiner, discoverer of blood groups?

Akemi, distressed: You don't know your own blood type, but you know who discovered them?!

~*~

Heiji Shindo: If you were one of my men, I'd have you shot.

Taigen: If I was one of your men, I'd shoot myself.

~*~

Mizu: Here's some advice-

Akemi: I didn't ask for any.

Mizu: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one here who talks to me.

~*~

Mizu: It all started on the day of my birth.

Mizu: Both of my parents failed to show up.

~*~

Baby Mizu: *returns from the aquarium visibly disappointed*

Master Eiji: What did you think a swordfish was?

~*~

Mizu: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Ringo, super excitedly: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!?

Mizu: No! Four to five seconds!

Ringo, already giving her a giant bear hug: Too late!!!