#shit my friends say

[no-context-discord-quotes]

this is a typo in a textbook written by the professor of this class, it cost me $105, i will be sharing with the world

[whydidithavetobeme92]

“me and Zuko are gonna fight for Sokka’s love"- Suki

"Aren't you his boyfriend"- Iroh

"Yes but Suki does not seem to agree"- Zuko

"Well yeah he is my boyfriend "- Suki

[hydelanialis]

it's the square patties.

[theriddlersunderwear]

Vince: "I know some of you can’t read well--"

Rody: "Are you allowed to say that? I feel like you’re targeting me."

Vince: "I am targeting you."

[theidlespoon]

[viktheviking1]

Curiosity killed the cat. You're bigger than a cat so you're probably fine.

[ink-stains-and-constellations]

Shit My Friends Have Said

"I gotta go replace the alphabet, bye!"

"I'm just listening to the sweat."

"It's all in the eyeballs."

"FOOD COMES BEFORE GENDER"

"Because no flavoured mouth acid."

"I accidentally turned off gravity!"

"Put the ghost back in the book."

"Hello, I'm here, about to drink the sleepy frog."

"Wait, that implies that you've eaten a lightsabre before."

"Good-quality friends, made out of steel."

"Replace your teeth with blenders."

"It depends on the beaver dam, I guess."

"The best defence is an impromptu therapy session."

"No! I inflated the tortillas!"

"A social piece of toast!"

"Am I allowed to commit blasphemy?" "How would you define blasphemy?" "Cheeseburger."

"Social anxiety, causing unwanted heart dissections."

[cheeryknots]

James: I’d die for you

Sirius: I’d kill for you

Remus: …I’d send a strongly worded email for you

[frostwing213]

"I DONT WANT TITS, THEY'RE SCARY" -A friend of mine.

[wannab-urs]

mutual 1: i’m an enigma

mutual 2: stop trying to be mysterious [mutual one], it’s just clinical depression

[zodiaconcrack]

Things My Friends Have Said As Zodiac Signs (Part 5)

Aries: Soccer is killing me, work is finishing me off, and school is pissing on my grave.

Taurus: Guys, the coffee didn't help much, my brain is still fried. She told me thank you and I responded with hello.

Gemini: H-E-double hockey sticks is a swear word!

Cancer: I want the salmonella.

Leo: These pants, from Target. This jacket, from Target. This shirt, from Target. These shoes, from Target. This underwear...probably from Target.

Virgo: You're not even a quality burrito.

Libra: I touch my own boob because I'm lonely.

Scorpio: What are they gonna do, say yeehaw and punch me in my face?

Sagittarius: Your boy got himself some Zoloft! I’m the most mentally stable man in the room!

Capricorn: I’m so fricking smart right now.

Aquarius: Look up what dreams about buying cats at Walmart means.

Pisces: I hate humans. They’re the reason we can’t have communism.

[no-context-discord-quotes]

[whydidithavetobeme92]

“you guys need to get off your desks and learn the lesson"- Katara

"But i'm giving Sokka and Zuko couples therapy and they really need it"- Aang

[incorrect-dnd-show]

Sheila: That’s not stylish that’s DEATH

Bobby, with a plastic bag over his head AND in his mouth: Save the turtles!

[theriddlersunderwear]

Rody: "You're going to be so proud of me."

Vince: "I don't know about that."

[cypressmoonsstuff]

Me and Andy talking about Epic,after Odysseus fights the cyclops

Odysseus: *reveals his name to cyclops*

Andy: yeah so fuck you here’s my gamer tag *🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻*

@pharissofthemall374