#In my Nothing

[captainkurosolaire]

Fallout

Dark gloomy clouds overtook the Sun. As a massive sea-vessel approached a designated port. Tension was felt from the air, humid, only briefest a glimpse of a reliving breeze. Underarm crutches stomped against bulwark, still covered in appendages and valley of injuries. But like what took place in the skies, a storm felt inevitable. It wasn’t wise to leave things uncheck. He heard of what transpired in his mending. Someone upon his own Crew saw to set him ablaze. That troubling fact was numb perhaps only due to his already extensive injuries. Being Leader he took the reins despite his conditioning because if he hadn’t there was going to be a mutiny. Also not solving or trying too, could lead to the culprit to attempt to execute someone else entirely this poison needed to be neutralized. He forced his consciousness open. Getting a head-tip from the Crew as he left his cabin room that everyone’s number one suspect was conveniently departing at this very time, he angrily pushed himself to the docks where the blonde-haired Midlander in his princely-appearance took pause in his leave. “Judas! Not yet matey. Isn’t going down like this, I need some answers. We all do.” His breathing was noticeably heaving, wheezing his lungs not entirely clear. The Midlander gave a frown of disappointment, it was a curious look that could have been attributed to the history of this man once turning his back on his own fond Captain. “Cut the bullshit, Cap’n, only here because you still don’t trust me. My sins and transgressions formerly, are right to assume that, I expect that. But I didn’t do it.” His brow’s and the way his eyelids lowered and features was concerning maybe, it wasn’t disappointment, but heartache.

The Seeker squinched up his visage and gave a sarcastic tone, “Geez, ye right, I don’t know if I can, I was at my lowest and that’s when you struck me, that guy who looked EXACTLY like you in the past, stabbed me in the back and then n’ my HEART. I’d like to think anything, anyone, is capable of change. I know it’s achievable. It’s why I saw to fight another chance to get this going again. You and me, cause when we’re on the same page, we can make magic. Upon my ventures on land, I've learned n' appreciation fer trust. There may b’ little out there more valuable in life... It's also the host ov' a saddening graveyard. Ye take trust granted, every-time, it almost certainly means death. Whether you, or what was." The sailor spoke with his chest. Experiencing too often people give up their lack of expectations just cause they didn't want to engage, be led to wasted time, or indulge in pain’s kiss. Seeing in that perspective he couldn't blame it. He was conditioned in a world of betrayal as something common-grounds, so he made it apparent for others to assume the worse about him early on by his presentation in his most unflattering self. Giving the decision to know the water's dangerous edge makes people frightful of the roaring tides. You can always reliably sell anyone on their own twisted truth, guaranteed unquestioning it.

Those bold who took the plunge against their fears often unlocked things they would've never attained otherwise, that eventually they wouldn't be able to see their life without. It was what he sought to represent to prevent others from becoming a slave of hopelessness. He would personally hide behind mask after mask showing that he had his knees buckle to despair. Playing fantasy that he was indomitable, a commendable warrior.

Stings of deceit weren't something he was immune to. He just braved that facade. It took chunks out of him, leading to such a fragmented soul, keeping and harboring that resentment, it meant unsafely; reason to hide an extra knife before slumber.

Puncturing eyes of Judas who manipulated and tricked his way for any opportunistic path, to get closer to his goal, once saw right through his scoundrel brethren. "Captain... I thought we were beyond this, dammit! If you took a second and THOUGHT instead of allowing your emotions to think for you. That is your worst design, always has been. I swear sometimes. You perceive yourself as someone who isn’t a strategist, cunning, smart and has always placed me so far above you that, can’t even see how incredible you can be, and what you’ve conquered alone! A lifetime worth of envy, there isn’t any shock of why someone saw to cut you down, shoot their deplorable shot. Understand this, AGAIN, — I vowed to provide wind against your back! – Thing is if you resist it, there's no sailing forward. MAYBE; I have never said it before, since I betrayed and caused that mutiny over what WAS a decade ago, but I'm sorry! Okay?! Does that really do anything to help?! Huh?! I don’t think ‘words’ have any value." Blood began to rush, tempers were igniting bottled issues, and just overall wounding in his verbal pitch. He had been aside Captain and offered all his advice, tribute himself to that contest and entrusted Captain in that brutal battleground. He even smacked off against his enemy, and yet was vilified and outnumbered.

The Seeker’s lips pursed and snickered not believing this instantaneously but gave silence with an emotional stare-down. Judas continued after a pause trying to contain himself in a pressure sigh, never evading the unyielding contact, composed, "...I have lived with that everyday! You have no clue what it did to me to hurt you..." Strongly using his hand’s to communicate pointing between them. The inflection in his tone came from nestled deep within a heart. There was something genuine, powerful, woe inducing.

Captain’s visage showed despondency, the people who are most important and closest felt a need to strike us the hardest. And maybe there was something that wasn't wrong about it, one bit to prevent us from going a wrong path. Just like how lies were ushered to children, youth, about monsters under the bed, to keep them safe, lies aren't always evil. What is often the most disgusting, against mankind, deemed cruel ways to perceive, could be yet again, the way to show an unbeatable level of care.

Between these two men was something close they shared undeniably. Always bubbling, never surfacing.

With an exhale Judas took note of the silence over this. "You know what Cap'n, it's alright, you don't want to trust me, can't... If we're done here, then it’s done. I shouldn't have ever burdened you with my own burden.." The Hyur who often did anything to get-ahead for his ambition, would've used anyone, sold out anybody to get back to his home. Gave up.

The Seeker couldn't believe what was unfolding in revelations. Under that intense moment, he recognized this man wasn't at all the culprit but framed deceptively. Finally snapping out of it, he noticed the Hyur retrieve his knapsack and was walking off the gangplank.

"Wait, where are ye going?" He attempted to chase hastily but fell on his crutches and plummeted trying to pursue. The crash heard Judas looking over shoulder, "Perhaps no one informed you, but Captain Sinbad collected his reward while you were out and chose his Three Crewmates. He picked myself, Casta our Surgeon, and even your own daughter, gave herself to volunteer, Klethera. – I'm getting a new start ahead, perhaps this is best. I'll lookout after them." Trying to cope and find a silver-lining there was just a broken man that shattered before the Captain.

While feeling that physically, and emotionally just drowned, unable to even give a cheeky response, or snark back, utter defeat. Laid with an unconstrained emotion, it was easier, accepting Judas did betray him again. Wasn’t something they didn’t overcome before, but now this meant, another on the Crew sought to dismantle Captain of anything associated with his dear life. The most potent betrayal was invisible. Strings tugging at you by an unknown, forcing you to strike against the wrong individuals, until you erased everything that meant a damn.

In one rushing moment a riptide reminded his losses. Incomprehensibly too much to handle at once, he fell in a vegetative state, lids and sight only witnessing boots of departure to someone, he never spoke and confessed his feelings. He felt exposed, out again in so many wounds, scar’s reopened, cut thousands of times left to bleed, trying to find out if there was an extra bone to make him sturdy to endure this pit and stand. This bloom zenith of life Captain nourished throughout last Summer who Captain rode highly, seemed destined for abscission.

🌊 ♫Could've Been♫ - Reference - Last Chapter

[cometrose]

i got too optimistic and forgot kamala harris was dealing with the combined powers of racism and misogyny

[great-and-small]

Turdus aficionados of Costa Rica please know I love your national bird but this is objectively hilarious

[opiumvampire]

fuck w me

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[spitblaze]

you guys gotta stop shipping 30-year-old men and calling it old man yaoi. 30 is really not old. thats just man yaoi

[hansoeii]

look at you, you're gorgeous!

[wormy-business]

I saw this question posed on tiktok, but I think Tumblr would really enjoy it too.

If a fae creature offered to give one million dollars for a bone FROM YOUR BODY chosen at random, how many bones would you allow them to take?

Light clarifications; The fae is not the one choosing the bones. The bone is taken at random. Each bone, no matter the size or importance, is worth a full million dollars. You must also declare the exact number first, you can't go bone-by-bone. You either say 2 or you say 10, you can't work your way up to a higher number. The bones are removed instantaneously, and the money is given immediately as well. You will not get in government trouble for acquiring the money.

Tell me in the tags/replies how many bones you'd let the fae take. And as always, reblog for bigger sample size.

[caffeinatedopossum]

Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with

[imhereonthekitchenfloor]

being hot isn't only for pretty people btw

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.

For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.

I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.

[clarisimart]

you haven't seen your ex in years and you want to show him how over him you are, but oh no, he went from a nerdy out-of-his-depth twunk to action hero GILF (grunkle i'd like to *REDACTED*)

commission info here

[bananonbinary]

for ages i thought i didnt like drag because of internalized homophobia but it turned out i just don't like bright lights and loud music and really visually complicated things

spd is homophobic i guess is what im saying

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[leeseechkeens]

My take on this topic

Sorry if it got a little freaky

[bambygourl]

ITS HIS FAULT 🫵🫵