#IMAGINE being bill

[clarisimart]

you haven't seen your ex in years and you want to show him how over him you are, but oh no, he went from a nerdy out-of-his-depth twunk to action hero GILF (grunkle i'd like to *REDACTED*)

commission info here

[fincherly]

my gf was looking through wesker's wiki page (as you do) and sent me this

and i lost my shit bc it just seems like they're looking at him like girls look at a weird bug

[ashwhothat]

Gravity falls as onion headlines part II part I

[quantumshade]

can anyone explain to me at what point rose tyler was "unbelievably stupid". was it when she was inventing transdimensional travel

[novastarlyght]

you gotta be FUCKING WITH ME

[lilacthebooklover]

typing "bill" into the mcgucket labs computer leads you to the "jazzy triangle meets a square square" video. bill is a triangle. 'square' is a slang term for someone boring & rule-abiding and also ford's face is shaped like a square. in this essay i will

[korovaoverlook]

unfortunately the amnesia gun might not’ve worked as well as they hoped

[inkskinned]

we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.

recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.

the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.

your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.

the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.

the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.

the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.

[braxlrose]

i read your tom kaulitz weird and silly headcanons and i can't stop laughing 😭 wtf it's 4 am.. anyway will you do the same headcanons only with bill, pretty please?🤭 i know one hundred percent that this little bastard isn't so innocent what he looks like.. i'm sure he's as dirty as Tom 😭 btw sorry engilsh is not my first language ☠️ Greetings from Poland!!:)

(his skirt is so cute?!?)

Cześć jeszcze raz! Rzadko spotykam Polaków, więc cieszy mnie możliwość ćwiczenia języka polskiego!

also his skirt is super cute omg

silly and weird bill headcanons

cw: mentioned oral(f and m!recieving), making out, nipple play?, etc

-you are completely right, this mf is far from innocent 💀 tom is seen as the dirty minded one but this little shit would make the most dirty fucking jokes every and then act all innocent LIKE BITCH

-he's also passive aggressive. like very passive aggressive. pookie can't help it 😪

-the first time you, him and tom all got high together he got super paranoid and thought that you guys were all just figments of a dog's imagination

-when you guys are spooning, he reaches underneath your shirt and cups your boobs. it helps him fall asleep quicker apparently

-but sometimes when he's feeling like a little shit, he'll tweak and pull at your nipples and you have to slap him away. so then you make him promise not to do it again. spoiler alert. he does it again 😐

-hes an impatient mf so the amount he's burned his tongue after heating up a pop tart 😒 like bitch..just wait the two fucking minutes

-he loves kissing your temple and your forehead

-during the winter, if his hands are cold he asks if he can put his hand in your pants. 💀 like that's his exact words. "Can I put my hand down your pants?" he says it's because you're warmer down there than he is, but I think it's just cuz he's a dirty minded little fuck

-when cooking marshmallows over the fire, it's a 50/50 thing. Sometimes he's super patient and will wait and make his marshmallows a crispy, perfect golden brown color and other times he gets to lazy and will just shove it in the fire.

-he also thinks it's like the coolest thing in the entire world when his whole marshmallow is on fire

-he didn't know how to snap until he was like 16 and always got mad whenever tom could do it 😭

-he was super happy when he realized that he was the taller twin bc tom was allllwayyss talking about how he was 10 minutes older.

-YOU GUYS GOT MATCHING TATTOOS

-he literally loves getting matching tattoos with you, he thinks it's so cute and fucking loves it. somehow he convinced the both of you to get some dumb ones 💀

-when you two were little kids he used to beg the teacher to make you, him and tom partners. lil bro would get down on his knees

-speaking of getting down on his knees, the first time he went down on you he "accidentally" 🤨 bit your clit. I still say he did it on purpose though

-you guys know that thing that Gomez does with Morticia when she reaches her arms to the side and he kisses from her finger tips to the other finger tips? yall know what I'm talking about? WELL BILL DOES THAT

-he likes to sleep naked sometimes. because it's "better for sleeping" but I think it's just because he wants to sleep next to naked you.

-almost drowned tom at the pool 💀...multiple times

-him and tom make you sit by the pool and then make you tell them who's cannon ball was better. and this isn't just a like 16 yr old boy thing. they do this at 33 too.

-bill once stood up upside-down on a keg and drank it 😧. not the whole thing but it was super crazy. you later found out it was because tom didn't think he would do it

-he once jerked off in class and found a way so nobody would notice him EXCEPT YOU 😨 MF YOU WERE TRAUMATIZED

-he also doesn't know how to lock a door. so you'll just walk in and he'll be jerking off, or you'll turn a corner in his house and he'll be jerking off, you go to use the bathroom and he'll be jerking off. "I'm a teenage boy it's what we do!" BRUH GET A HOBBY

-if you don't know german, he'll randomly say dirty stuff to you in german. BUT THEN PROCEED TO GET MAD AT TOM IF HE TEACHES YOU BAD WORDS IN GERMAN 🙄

-he loves sitting in your lap when making out. like obviously he loves it when you sit in his lap, but he LOVES when he gets to sit on top of you and kiss you

-the first time he tried to give you hickies, he wasn't completely sure how to and ended up biting you 💀

-he's not a morning person, we all know this. so if you want to get him out of bed, you will have to drag him out by his feet.

-his dick is big. we all know this, but the first time you tried to give him oral, he accidentally slapped your face w/ his dick 😭

ANYWAYYSSS TY SM FOR THE REQUEST POOKIE I HOPE MY POLNISCH WASNT TOO BAD

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles

[yandere--stuck]

no need/pressure to respond to this, but with all the intestine stuff that keeps getting posted... along with stuff about ford (drool)... (all really good btw)... and maybe this is too gross/weird in which case DEFINITELY feel free to ignore this,, but i keep thinking about bill keeping you two alive while you pull each other's guts out, and then stuff the other person's guts inside of you... switching intestines... and then being sewn back together, permanently having a part of the other inside you now <3 very good to me. maybe ford is bigger than you so your belly bulges ever so slightly... - zag gore anon

God, that is genuinely so horrifying. I love it!!!

Imagine lying on your back as you recover - well, technically speaking. The scarring only hurts in a way that's sickeningly pleasurable, and Bill has (hopefully) made it so any wrong movements don't cause your Ford's guts to spill out of you.

You try to focus on anything else. The symbols carved along the roof and walls of the Fearamid, the muffled sound of music from the other room where all the Henchmaniacs have gathered to party, the feel of Ford nuzzling against you and pressing soft kisses to your face.

"Isn't this wonderful?" He asks, voice gruff. "I can feel you inside of me. Can you feel me?"

One of his hands brushes against your stomach and you resist the urge to gag building at the back of your throat. Suddenly, it's all you can focus on. The image of you puking out the intrusive organs flashes into your mind. You can't ignore the feeling of squirming and wriggling inside you and whether it's phantom or not doesn't matter because Ford's intestines are inside you, and it's disgusting. It feels like there's something alien nesting inside you, and any sudden movement will cause it to burst out of you. You want to rip your skin off, you want to puke them out or rip the intestines out of you through the scarring. But then again, Bill would probably like that, wouldn't he?

You can at least excuse Ford's behavior. Over thirty years of being on the run through so many different dimensions, only to return home and suddenly having any sense of stability being just as quickly wrenched away from him by the one being who had hurt him most. You want to believe this is Ford giving into the madness and losing himself to it, to the idea that maybe, if he gave in to Bill's whims, it'd be easier. And maybe he's right.

But you're not there, yet. And you pray you never will.

All you can do is manage a nod as your whole body quakes under Ford's touch.

"Awww, if it isn't my two favorite fleshbags," Bill's voice suddenly booms, making you jump. "You two are so cute together! I'm so glad this brought you two even closer together. Say, I was thinking for next time, how does a heart transplant sound?"

Your eyes widen and your teeth clack together. You dare to take a glance at Ford's expression. He meets your gaze, eyes crinkling with excitement behind his glasses as he beams at you with utter joy.

[20doozers]

HE GOT MURDERED😭

[pooks]

headcanon that Percy is the "good son/brother" for a reason; he's a menace if he wants to.

the twins, ron and ginny don't believe it until they see it.

bill and charlie has One Fear because they will have to deal with it. bill still have war flashbacks of how many times he needs to track down his little brother cause he's always missing five minutes before curfew

charlie hasn't forgotten the last time he told percy "no" and the little shit took that as a personal challenge and proceed to do whatever he wanted.

molly, surprisingly, doesn't believe it. she takes a look at percy, sees his gentle lil smile and is like "no, percy is a good boy! he's so well-mannered, he can never do anything wrong ever!"

arthur...oh, he knows his boy is a menace. percy is so incredibly clever, he always knows how to get out of trouble, but it doesn't stop him from running havoc. oh hell, he knows his boy can take down the whole ministry if he wanted to.

+arthur is the only one who can stop percy when he's feeling "rebellious". he isn't worried about his other six kids, he has seen worse with things with percy and he knows that percy can give him grey hair before the boy is twenty.

it's always the quiet ones, after all.

[thicctails]

billfiddlestan is losing the poll so here's some shameless wip propaganda. see my vision goddamn it

[jlepixie]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ as though to protect itself, it has become inaccessible even to me ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

╰ ୨ Bill kisses you୧ ╯ 

༶⋆˙⊹｡⋆ʚ♡⃛ɞ ✩ ˛˚.

☆ he’s mainly a soft and a gentle kisser!

☆ he also likes to be slow and passionate with you so you both could enjoy the moment but obviously he has his moments when the kisses are getting messy and rough

☆ I feel like he would ask for permission even after being into a relationship with you

☆ 100% gets flustered when you kiss him out of the blue!

☆ he loves to kiss the back of your hand, cheeks and lips

☆ he would definitely make you sit on his lap while kissing

☆ I feel like he is the type of guy that would love when you grind on him while kissing on his lap

☆ he loves if you pull on his hair while kissing

☆ he would deepen the kiss by putting one hand on the back of your head and the other would be on the waist

☆ would kiss until both of you are out of breath

☆ before going on the stage would give you a quick kiss for good luck

☆ when he really gets into it he will bite gently your lower lip

☆ 100% does the knee thing

☆ when the mood is set he teases a lot

☆ he thinks about you 24/7 and the first thing he does he sees you is kissing you and then saying "hi" with a big smile "I've missed you"

☆ he gets teased about how lovey dovey by the other guys and when you are not around Tom would imitate you two

I was totally giggling while writing this!

© 2023 jlepixie.  ─  please do not copy,  repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission. 

[kai-nyktos]

what if bill is jealous of the pine family because they remind him that he doesn’t get to have a happy family because he burned them all. and ford having almost gone down the same path as him (unappreciatedly smart, weird, outcasted, and then gaining access to greater knowledge and almost destroying the world) but stops and saves his family even after all the shit that’s happened (this is the one timeline where both dipper and mabel survive, after all). he gets to be happy. they all get to be happy, together.

he must hate them as much as he hates himself, doesn’t he?

[bunnygibson]

Tozer