#In light of [SPOILERS] relevant once again

[waitingforsecretsouls]

The main reason I go crazy for Traumerei is that I love characters whose core concept revolves around unbending loyalty regardless of the collateral and if that isn't Traumerei to a t (his entire introduction as a villain involving the beastkin even centered around it as well, just to drive the point home). You can accuse Traumerei of a lot of stuff (he's manipulative and sadistic, for a start), but NEVER that he's disloyal to his chosen allegiance. A true ride or die for Zahard

[pinkygirlymeg]

My opinions on 2.2 - As a Brazilian SPOILER WARNING

First off I'ma kick it saying yes, I am disappointed at Bluepoch for not adding diverse and PoC characters, however, this is a very much positive light on 2.2 because well, I enjoyed the update, I'm not here to defend Bluepoch but to appreciate the research and interesting things I think they added to their game about my people and culture.

I also think it's relevant to tell a bit about me, I'm a Brazilian woman natural from Rio de Janeiro, who early in life moved to a rural area in Goiás and later moved to the capital city of Brasília. I visited São Paulo, the city where 2.2 takes place quite a few times since parts of my family live there to this day, however the longer I've been there was 6 months, my visits to São Paulo also consisted mostly of living my the small towns around the big cities and living mostly in rural areas. (I've visited the big city but only to buy things that we didn't have mostly)

Starting off with some of the things I enjoyed the most: Music

So far there has been 3 songs of which I've listened

Starting with the one in the announcement of the special program; https://youtu.be/JsPw7aaB3WQ?si=aGYVp_yvvf1M5m5A

I do like the song, but this one is where they got the Brazil vibes a bit far off? They were going probably to the style of Bossa Nova, a Brazilian musical genre (noticable example are Garota de Ipanema) but I think in this one they went to much on a vibe that matches more french style music? Or at least reminds me of that (I'm sorry if I'm getting it wrong french people!!! Do let me know if I did).

The second one is the Livestream music! You can listen to it while they announce characters and garments;

I think the song is also not the best but definitely catches more of a Brazilian vibe, the style of music seems to be more centered around another genre commonly from the north east region of Brazil! (Noticable example is Figa de Guiné) Where they use a lot of triangles and little bit of the guitar, they're also going for a more beach style music to match the garments me thinks.

And now the third one and my favorite as off publication of this post. The "Trade Winds Garden" theme;

https://youtu.be/qCz036VZYXc?si=Gsbyl4JZzdPUpPqh

Once again they're going for a Bossa Nova vibe but this time, they nailed it perfectly. The strings and the chocalhos (sorry couldn't find a translation to that) work perfectly to create a representation in form of music! The style of the background of the new suitcase also fits the time period of Brazil's early 1900s or late 1800s that I think they're going for, the best example of a closely related song to this is also one of my favs "Águas de Março" is a music of the same genre who I think that this one might be based off.

Ok now with the characters and I'll start with the character I'm most familiar with the vibes!

Lopera the 6 star from the second part of the 2.2 version

Although we don't have much info on the story yet, she seems to be based of the "caipira" culture, I'll use the term Rural culture because "caipira" was a term used in a pejorative demeanor towards me and my family before.

Rural culture is a lot about family and as we know, Lopera ran away from her's, this is fairly common in these circles because living in a rural area while being young and full of dreams can be quite trapping! As for her design. I absolutely love it! From the hat to the sandal she embodies the spirit of a rural girl, the hat is ofc my favorite part, it's usually optional and men are more likely to not use hats as woman are. Being a Rural girl who easily burned in the sun I had to use long sleeves, long dresses and a really big straw hat, although the sandals are the norm when walking at home, usually we would use boots in the farm. In any case, I love her design and her clothes. In the i2 she seems to be more leaning towards a city girl, wearing the shorts and boots like she's ready for anything they throw at her. I personally like the i0 outfit more than the i2 for the many reasons I stated before and for the projection I did in her when I saw her.

Now for our singing best Anjo Nala!

I also loved her vibes! I saw a lot of people saying she's purple scary woman and I agree a bit with that but I really like this trope so I'm eating it! She's one of the characters that I also think I would enjoy way more if she has more melanin but for lore reasons I think she was never even a possibility for that.

First addressing the whole Anjo Nala is Kimberly, I disagree and don't think they are the same person. My evidence is that Kimberly has an identical twin who has been recently murdered! In the newspaper we can see that a ruthless murderer's life has been put to an end. I believe Anjo Nala is that twin who got murdered, aside from the visual differences both have, they also behave completely different at least from what we can see on the PV. Anjo Nala also speaks portuguese in one of her voice lines, knowing Kimberly she would've probably already said things in Portuguese had she known the language at this point. There's also some visual differences to the two, like anjo Nala's tail and horns being different than Kimberly's.

Now putting that to the side. Anjo Nala seems to be based of a more high class songstress. The beautiful girl who sings in the boats that pass by the river. Although that is a more romantic view of our culture it's still within Brazilian literature to have that type of character. The seducing demons from the rivers are also very much part of our culture as you can see from the "Boto Cor de Rosa" a character from Brazilian mythos and folklore.

The i0 dress looks simply so cute, matching the style and era of the outfits worn by the ladies here in the big cities of Brazil, as for her i2 it seems to be more of a stage outfit, I love it too, but personally, like Lopera I like her i0 more. Although I love the art and the background of her i2 and the references to the festivals of new year here and the carnival with the lights blowing in the sky voice line and the people laughing and dancing! She's a very cute character overhaul!

Mr. Duncan... Another character whom I think would look very good with more melanin, mr.duncan embodies a very common guy in Brazilian families, the "Tio do Pavê" or that cute and funny old uncle who cracks dad jokes whenever you meet with them, he seems like a passionate and generally nice guy and OMG I love seeing older man being added to the game! It really brings variety and the possibility of old men yaoi (looking at u Shamane), I really enjoy his character for how much I can see of him in my own family and it's very fun to think of all the cute interactions he could pull off! Design wise, he feels a little bit more like a tourist, although I've seen my dad wear similar outfits before when going to the beach or simply enjoying an outdoors barbecue. I like both of his i0 and i2 basically equally! I think he looks overhaul very nice

I won't make a comment about our skeleton hand just yet, White Rum seems like the most mysterious one so far! But I will make a post about them if I happen to have some new matured thoughts of if they get more info about them

Lastly for the garments, I LOVED the garments for this version, making the Brazil patch a beach vibes update is expected but they surprised me a lot! The outfits do look really like the things any Brazilian would wear to go to the beach, my favorites being Vila's and Yenisei's garment. Specifically talking about Yenisei, it might be me going on crack mode but I think her design is based off the Victoria Regia story of Brazilian folklore and I think it works perfectly with Yenisei's connection to rivers!

Marcus looks like the cute and sweet girl at the beach but girl that sunburn marks will be weird looking with all that fishnets /silly

Vila looks gorgeous and 37 is not beating the most beautiful character of the game allegations, I also think her garment has something to do with 37 accepting the malleability of truth and how it bends and changes like a river, truth changes in every different perspective!

Shamane looks gorgeous and I look forward to all the yaoi potential he got hwhshssh /silly and seriously I also love the representation of our fauna in Shamane's garment.

Few that was quite a lot I think I'm done for this post at least! I can and will yap more about this version once things come out and I'm yet to make a post about the PV, I did see it and I have some thoughts that I still need to mature! If you have any questions, suggestions or corrections they're all welcome! I just enjoy discussing things about my culture and country and how people from the outside world perceive us!

[mci-writing]

Hi I saw that your requests are open. Can I request a senku x female reader where he has a crush on an older tattooed foreigner who was on vacation in Japan when the world was petrified

I've had this sitting for a minute tbh, but mostly bc I didn't want there to be too many spoilers for anime-onlys 😭😭 mostly for how tattoos work,,, Don’t be surprised if there’s a heavy focus on language plot wise, I’ve been working on a lot of linguistics homework 😞

Anyways, hope you enjoy

Science Makes Age Complicated (Ishigami Senku x Reader):

Warnings: technically an age gap but also not (reader was once 2 years older than Senkuu, but now they're the same age due to time shenanigans), fem!reader, some language use (a few swears here and there), reader is American (RIP but it’s plot relevant), reader is implied to know an insane amount of languages (bc this is Dr Stone and it’s relevant to world-building)

"Think you can scrounge something up for her, Yuzuriha?" Senku parts the lush shrubbery for his friend, unresponsive to her obvious surprise at the sight before her. He figured it would go that way, considering how kept away the whole area is, but he'd rather start the spectacle with her big reactions instead of the loud and boisterous version involving the rest of their crew, "I'm more than sure you'll manage to make her something she's 1 billion percent comfortable in."

He'd considered this statue his secret weapon for the next part of their excursion. Well, that would be his explanation as to why he'd waited so long to unveil her and finally free her from her encasement. Really, he could never find the proper time to finally revive her, especially when every time it would feel right to, something else would arise that would require them to use the revival fluid for someone else.

When talks of traveling to the Americas came up, he knew it'd be the perfect time to properly reveal her and, hopefully, ease her into their current predicament. While Gen is a great diplomat, thew mentalist isn't exactly fluent in as many languages as the girl in the statue before them. Even more, if they are to run into more people (which they very likely are), it's better to have at least two representatives to talk things over. That's going to be his reasoning, anyway.

Deep down, he's a little nervous to finally see her again, especially now that he's technically older than her by a few months at least. The last time they'd seen each other had been the day before the petrification light, the two decided to spend time with each other before he went back to school. She was visiting Japan for a bit, a trip she'd planned to make at least once a year since the two had officially met in person while he had been in America. Back then, she'd been 17 to his 15, owning an American driver's license and a tattoo sleeve that left many of the older members of society scandalized.

"I don't think she's going to take being younger than us well," Yuzuriha mentions as she finishes up sewing the outfit she'd made for (Y/n). She worked fast, wiping the sweat that had accumulated on her forehead once she finished. She takes a step back once she's finished, watching as Senku steps forward, "Especially when she finds out how long it took for you to bring her back."

"She'll be fine. I'm 1 billion percent sure she's going to be grateful for it," He responds, popping the top off the tiny vial between his fingers. He doesn't stop the grin from spreading across his face as he lets the contents of the vial drip from the top of her head. The two watch expectedly as it eases its way down her body, stone cracking and parting in its wake, “She’s going to get to visit home, after all.”

The stone falls from her body, the life slowly coming back into her (e/c) orbs as more of her skin is revealed. Her tattooed sleeve remains, now accompanied by the petrification markings on her face and other parts of her body. A wave of confusion hits her as she takes in the unfamiliar surroundings, but her shoulders relax a little as she takes in the two familiar figures next to her, "Senku...? Yuzuriha...?" "Hey, (Y/n)," He immediately greets in response, an excited light coming to his eyes as ruby meets (e/c), "Looks like we're the same age now."

Yuzuriha flinches at his greeting, sighing with a shake of her head as she takes a small step closer to their friend. A nervous smile forms on her lips as she takes (Y/n) hands into her own, leading her out of the hidden away area into the light of the new world. She feels the grip tighten as (e/c) eyes dart around the surrounding forestry in an attempt to better understand the circumstances and environment, "We have a lot to catch you up on, but I'm sure if we ease you in slowly it won't cause you too much whiplash-"

"We don't have time for that, Yuzuriha. We still have to load the ship back up and travel to America," Senku waves the notion off, walking past the two of them and leading them back into the village. Neither of the girls miss the smirk on his face as he continues, unmoving as they gape at him like fish, "(Y/n) will catch up along the way."

He's bluffing, which they realize a little later when Ryusui recounts the plan to spend the next few days loading the ship and replacing the items they used on their last voyage. (Y/n) is assimilated faster into their new society than she can process, the rest of their group taking the basic information they're fed and working with it. Yuzuriha is eventually forced to leave her to fend for her own after a bit to attend to her own assignments and Taiju only stops to catch up for a bit (which is mostly him speed talking and making assumptions about how much she's been made aware of) before continuing to move along.

Senku doubts he'll ever admit it out loud, but he is grateful that they're the same age, even if he's technically older by a few months now. Standing next to (Y/n), who hadn't aged a day past the last time he'd seen her, was the reassurance he secretly needed about his own development. While his growth spurt, a result of the final pushes of puberty during the Stone Wars and roughing it during the New Stone Age, was the only difference he could notice next to her, (Y/n) had been hit with the whiplash of every other development.

To her, it felt like both a lifetime and a long night since she had seen Senku, yet he looked almost completely different and exactly the same. The remainder of his baby fat had rounded out of his cheeks, his face maturing nicely into that of a young adult, and he'd sprung up quite a bit in height. He was still lithe in comparison to Taiju, till thin and very much not built for too much physical labor, but he'd gotten a bit of meat on his bones to fill his arms out a little more. Despite that, he still looked like him, like the jerky boy she'd met by chance in middle school who would be the first person she'd show her newest tattoos to when she was 16 to get some kind of rise out of him.

Taiju and Yuzuriha were a further reminder of the weird passage of time, the two more developed in their own rights. He was beefier, still ever-muscular in a more defined way. His hands seemed rougher, but she didn't know if that had been due to the rougher circumstances or if they were always meant to get so rough with all the handy work Senku would put him up to. Yuzuriha had filled out a little, a few scars littering her hands from what (Y/n) could only assume was from her thread work she'd seem to consistently be working on since they'd gotten back to their stronghold. Her silky brown hair, which had once reached her waist and made a few of the girls from their school envious of its length, now barely reached past her shoulders in its bobbed shape.

She feels so out of place...

~~~~

The rush of information coming to people’s senses is always amusing to watch, but (Y/n) is taking a little more time to process than usual. Even now, a few days into her now being free from the stone prison, she still has more questions. They aren’t particularly scientific, more so just random observations that she really wants the answers to. She’s also hyper-analyzed the villagers' speech patterns, having them repeat their newer slang and pronounce random words in Japanese, English, and German (something they did not realize they were fluent in until she came around). In return, they ask her questions about the past (mostly Senku, Yuzuriha, and Taiju), the sleeve on her arm, and why the hell she knows so many languages already.

Senku can’t really be mad about it slowly down progress, he’s sure he’d slack off a little too if they didn’t have so little time to prepare for their trip across the sea. Neither of them miss the way their eyes longingly stare at one another, meeting a few times before either is dragged away by the others they’re surrounded by. It’s even worse that (Y/n) feels she hasn’t been able to get any time alone with him since they made it to the village. She’d been made aware of their plans once her confusion died down a little, even taking the time to freshen up on the main languages she’d be focused on for their trip and doing what she can to pitch in. Unfortunately, their different preparations would barely, if ever, cross over. Lowkey, it had been killing both of them inside, but they kept up appearances for the sake of getting things done.

She’d learned from Gen, who gave her brain a break by speaking in English with her, that Senku had kept her relatively well hidden. He’d visit her often, but no one had put together that’s what he’d been doing until now. Yuzuriha made it clear she’d only learned of (Y/n)’s whereabouts a little before they’d revived her. However, the brown-haired girl did mention that a few passing statements he’d made in the past were starting to make sense.

It took the last night before the Kingdom of Science would set sail again for (Y/n) to find time away from the others. Despite the various discussions scratching her brain in the best way possible in a new world, the dark blue of the night accompanied by the low noises of crickets and crashing waves gives her the solace she needs. While everything has mostly settled, or settled as much as it can, it's still moving so fast. To her, everything was normal yesterday and then dark for longer than she thinks possible to comprehend, "Maybe this is how Sleeping Beauty felt..."

"I doubt that," A familiar voice speaks up from behind her, the heels of his shoes clopping along the ground as he approaches. The gravel scrunches as he shifts to sit next to her, deep zircon-colored eyes staring out towards the ocean's expanse. He scoots a little closer to her, his head tilting as his pinky reflexively reaches to dig out of his ear, "Considering she typically is depicted to have been a young preteen when she first fell asleep and an older teenager when she wakes, I doubt there were many technological changes to throw her for such a loop, especially if the story takes place in a fictional version of the middle ages."

His eyes shift to peak at her instead, his typical grin filing onto his face. Somehow, they're one of his few features to remain the same despite his growing age. He's one of the reasons she's out here tonight, gathering her thoughts privately one last time so she can tuck them away to focus her attention more on to returning civilization.

Of course, she always thought he was good-looking, most people did. However, where they were turned off by his passion for science and technical engineering, she found it to be all the more endearing for his character. He had his pesty moments, but so did everyone else in some way. It added to his charm, "Didn't see you as the fables type, Senku."

"Had a friend who was super into literature. She read it in different languages to challenge herself," He teases in response, his gaze turning back to the sight before them, "Wonder where she is now..."

(Y/n) tugs her knees up to her chest, the irony of the comparison not lost on her, though made completely on accident. She pulls them closer, resting her cheek on them as she takes in the boy next to her, "Maybe she's trapped somewhere in a stone prison back in the woods."

She watches his chest rumble with his chuckle, a soft breeze picking up and spreading the smell of salt water. He's closer now, the smaller changes staring her in the face and taunting her. She'd wanted him this close to her again, just for the reassurance, but now... She kind of regrets it.

"I would've found her by now," He mumbles, the sound just barely reaching her ears. A fond smile slowly eases across his mouth as he returns his gaze to her, "Would've taken me a while to finally see her like this again, but I think it'd finally be worth seeing her again. Even with the circumstances."

"I'm sure she'd be grateful to see you again too, even with the circumstances."

[furrysmp]

decided to go sunbringer designs for once. I have so many words oh my god

so. uh,

I am so normal about sunbringer joel smallishbeans so normal I swear. he's planning to throw the o from his name at scott btw.

... he and scar are related but I'm not explaining further until the actual fic about it comes out because there's so much plot significance in the smallishbeans.

... grian. has a book. that he borrowed from the Library. it's very relevant I swear the concept of the library is a plot point.

Also grians eyes are technically green! With a bit of purple and just. a layer of Dark over them to make them less neon green. its not in his genetics to have neon eyes. unlike scar and I swear their eye colors are relevant but like in a weird queerplatonic scarian dl based bit in the grian chapter of the fic

Mumbo is a long cat and being held by me specifically those hands are how I draw my mc skin. I wanted to draw him as this meme since 2021 but he's very hard for me to draw so I took the one time I'll ever draw him and did this.

Jimmy is. a creature. that has bird features but also cod features bc again half of the plot of sunbringer is based on empires 1. Also the bird he's holding is singing. And joel is stealing the song bc he has music type magic.

Scott! Is the one guy I can talk about! Because he already appeared in the fic. He's part ender dragon and like. a child of stars? I have a lot of times I drew him before I think but idk how much of it I uploaded before so yeah. Please ask me about sunbringer scott smajor he's one of the only ones I can talk about and he has so much lore going for him he's so dear to me

impulse is. technically part ender dragon too? the specifics will be explained in his chapter of yhiwu (alongside. a lot of magic lore. like a lot. I have half that speech written already it's basically looking the empires fic in the eyes and going "fight me uwu")

And because impulse is aligned to shadows skizz gets to be some form of light dragon descendant? Like light isn't directly an element in the magic of this universe but it does have an equivalent in the element of Life, which connects to truth and love, whereas shadows and theatrics (and storytelling in general) is always aligned to whatever element is considered dark; in this magic system, being Void.

Tango is looking up at mumbo. thats all. I don't have a lot of notes because my tango is just a little guy.

(Etho is checking smth on his smartwatch and also doing his best to ignore bdubs rn bc bdubs is in his villain arc/hj)

... ngl the only note I have on the bdubs design is that it's accidentally inspired by my human design for the main character in the show I'm writing. Bracelets and sparkly eyes and a t-shirt and. Crimes.

also not much on the cleo design she was just fun to draw but the implications of her existence are spoilers and also not really visually indicative bc idk what a "zombie hybrid" would look like so she just looks. funky. her background is all stitched together btw I finally had a use for the dashed lines brush :D

martyn and ren are. BIG spoilers. But only to like chapter 5 of the current fic. I will say I highly enjoy their existence tho. Also my ren designs always have hawaiian patterned shirts its a personality trait he seems to possess. Also his glasses are like. a hologram? bc his ears are Dog so he cant have normal glasses w like. the things that go behind ur ears.

lizzie is. also very important. she gets the two animals thing like jimmy bc axolotl and cat were her empires animals. also her buns are heart shaped I saw some fanart of that and its really cute so I also have that. and she's also looking at the long mumbo! very confused.

bigb. scares me. like yeah secret life really be mans villain arc. I tried to reflect that by actually straight up mirroring his eyes and having him be. the only guy looking straight at u. he can see u. u can run but u cant hide. also he gets cookies. also also drawing facial hair is hard he's the only time I ever managed to make facial hair look. normal. ever. wont happen again.

gem is being adorable and also definitely a deer hybrid dont mind the magic or stuff its fine (her chapter is. third in the roster. I literally just need to finish the impulse chapter to convince myself that its ok to upload her immediately after ch2).

and pearl! who we know bc she gets first chapter of the fic and thats already out. her eyes are a bit like moons btw. also she's doing magic back at gem which is cute I think. idk.

also half of them have fancy hair shines. like joel having beans that get progressively smaller. or pearl having moons. :D

[wisteria1999]

I’m actually losing my mind over the new 2.5 characters

Liang Yue’s little animal buddy, Noire being disabled and using a cool as hell wheelchair (which has a little movie light sticking out of it since she’s a director, wonderful little detail), Loggerhead having a camera stuck onto her head, I LOVE IT! I wish there were more diversity in their afflatuses, but I don’t really even care about that too much since all three of them are so cool. And this isn’t even MENTIONING their ultimates or even just their attacks! They all look absolutely AMAZING and I highly encourage everyone to watch the trailer on merui’s channel to see what I mean, still images would absolutely not do them justice (be wary because idk if the first bit includes spoilers for other patches, I usually just skip over it since I’m on global so I have no idea if there is any)

Oh and don’t even get me STARTED on the skins

While I’m not super crazy about windsong I always appreciate it when Bluepoch gives free skins for 6 star characters (like with an an lee last year) and I still think she looks pretty. The fool also looks great, I love the little face paint details on their face. Sotheby and Tuesday’s new garments and the new animations to go with them are very fun (once again, PLEASE watch merui’s upload of the trailer) but my absolute favorite has to be Jiu Niangzi. She looks GORGEOUS and the new ultimate animation is so great that it PISSES ME OFF because I just know that means the garment will be expensive and I won’t be able to rationalize getting it 😔.

Speaking of skins, Bluepoch also seems to be introducing a new line of garments starting with Druvis. I wonder if the “Card 0-21” means 21 characters will be getting these or something. Anyways Druvis looks AMAZING as usual

Almost makes up for her having essentially no story relevance in basically every patch since the game first released (not really though)

God just the new characters and skins alone have me INSANELY excited for this update. Sometimes I forget why I love reverse 1999 so much in the first place and then a great patch like this comes along and reminds me.

[pastorfutureletthembe]

"I save the world. You save my sister."

The plot, every misson they get done, gives us a set of rules to understand the universe the characters live in, what is possible or allowed to do while diving. Contrary to the live action which offer an actual exposition (Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's first meeting, the explanation and the mechanics of their powers), the donghua shows us all of that through subtil teaching: an action calls for a reaction.

The rules in season 1 are crafted according to the "light side" of this story (Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang and Qiao Ling), therefore they are morally good. They exist to protect, respect, help people. The headline would be "Don't change anything."

Season 2 of the Donghua offers a new perspective; the dark side. There is another way after all, a way to change past and future, to resist fate. You have the power, so why woudln't you benefit from it, right?

The Live Action wasn't the best example of an adaptation well done, that's true. The rules are familiar to us and Lu Guang is way more stuck in his ways than he is in the donghua. However, his master's moral, that we could dubbed as "History as it should be", is not right nor wrong. It demands for the past to remains as it is because the present has beauty no matter the state of things. Although it ultimately is true, we do notice the flaws in this belief through the missions our shiguang team accept: time is unfair, people are sad and broken, they wasted precious time of their lives for nothing, they've been abused... BUT. They can still be better, do better, life isn't the sum of past mistakes, and those who are still standing are masters of their own fate. Future can still change because we make choices in Present too.

You can say what you want of the way the Live Action has been made, but it still is relevant in its core to the original story and characters. They understand the real point of this universe, what conclusion it wants to bring us to. Once again, it gives us new rules. One of them is familiar though: ineluctability.

CXS's character study and spoilers for LCLA 1x23 bellow:

As He Xu talks about his long lost sister, the words shape a new meaning. These words, they might as well be donghua!Lu Guang's. Billions of people could disappear as long as it means Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, because he is LG's everything, his person, the best human being in the whole world. The whole scene is a clear argument against fate/death. With such powers, why should we accept the unfair and arbitrary will of time? Why can't we chose to be happy and make our lives better?

The fact that the parallel isn't made FOR the characters/LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi but for US, the audience, is even more heartbreaking. Because we know, and we deny, and we excuse, and we wish for the end to be a happy ending. But you all know in the depth of your heart the most important rule, no matter which character's morals applies:

"Death is a node that cannot be changed."

This being said, people often tell me how Cheng Xiaoshi would do the exact same thing than Lu Guang if he was in his situation for more than a day; he would eventually gives in and go back to save him.

I actually don't believe that myself. I think Cheng Xiaoshi would never.

Not only because Lu Guang taught him not to, but because Cheng Xiaoshi is, no matter how lonely, awkward and childish he can be, a deeply empathetic person. He loves people. And if saving someone he loves mean killing everyone else, he would not do it.

Lu Guang, with all his moral and strict guideline, fell under a genuine boy's spell and decided "fuck it, you all don't deserve him, he's better than all of you." To fuel this concept of the character, LCLA!Cheng Xiaoshi has a clear idea of what a "Time Agent" is supposed to be: a superhero. He is a good person, that's why he wants to change death nodes. He wants to save them and keep them happy. Spider-man wouldn't sacrifice the world to save Gwen Stacy, okay? He Xu spits "you don't know actual regret" to his face, and maybe he's right, but then Cheng Xiaoshi argues that he knows his role and what it is expected of him.

That's your clue right there: he wants to do the right thing by making the best of awful circonstances.

Cheng Xiaoshi untrusts Lu Guang with the most important person in his life. He knows he cannot do eveything by himself. Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi are a team, they are shiguang, and fate made them this way. He knows his role in all this, there is something only he can do. Now, Cheng Xiaoshi believes in the rightness of Lu Guang's master rules, but he cannot agree with his whole being. He does believe in one thing though.

This is not about maintaining the Past as it should be, but about the trolley dilemma: one person against MANY children's lives. Cheng Xiaoshi want to save as many people as he can. People could argue that CXS asking LG to save his sister means he wouldn't be able to make the right choice when facing this same dilemma if it involved Qiao Ling. I would strongly disagree. Of course, he hesitates each time He Xu mentions her. However, at the end of the day, he would rather sacrifice himself than anyone else, moreover if it means his sacrifice would save someone.

I would just end this meta with the possibility, no matter how small, that He Xu is right. No one knows if this universe would be destroyed once a node is changed. The consequences of that are actually unknown, and isn't there hope in this uncertainty? Isn't this small, near impossible possibility worth it in the end? But no matter the results, it's all about accountability. Perhaps the real truth about the universe's balance is this: these powers they have are both a responsability/duty to people and a chance/right to change or save Past and Future. As long as you understand your choice and the implied consequences, you're the real master of Fate.

[fertabranche]

Trying to list off the r1999 references I can find.

I’m only doing the very beginning in this post so I think it’s a lot of things people already know, but if I don’t do this in order I will simply perish so here we go

Prologue : This is Tomorrow

Part One : Rock 'n' Roll Radio

• This Is Tomorrow

The prologue title is a reference to a contemporary art exhibition that took place in 1956. From what I understand, its purpose was to update the definition of art by challenging the prejudices of the institutions of the time, for instance by using pop culture symbols, this kind of stuff. It would later be regarded as the precursor of the British Pop Art movement, one of the main aesthetic movements of the 60s, which is therefore also relevant in the prologue.

I’ve already written a post about this, but I feel like this title choice is more than an artistic reference, it also makes sense thematically. Later on in the chapter, the Sixties are described as such:

Thanks to our 20/20 hindsight vision we know this is meant to be read in a tragic irony kind of way. The title reads the same to me: there will never be a tomorrow long enough for progress to take root in a world where the Storm is still raging, and in that sense the game began painting that picture here.

• Rock 'n' Roll Radio

This is the title of the prologue's first part. I think it’s named after the song "Do You Remember Rock 'n' Roll Radio?" (1980) by the Ramones. From what I understand, it’s as much of a love letter to rock music from the era Regulus was from as it is a warning about the threat nostalgia can pose to creativity.

Once again, it kind of reads as tragic irony given how it’s the second time they’ve been in the 60s. This is worse than nostalgia they’re literally stuck in the past lmao.

The Great Gatsby

Now that the titles are out of the way: the story opens up with the last lines from The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. The game does not include the first sentence of the quote, but I’ve chosen to use a slightly longer version here because that’s how it makes the most sense to me.

Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter-tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning——

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I have not read the book, so I’m not fully confident trying to analyze it, but from what I understand, the green light is a motif throughout the novel that symbolizes longing. (Or the American Dream, but I don’t think that line of interpretation is terribly relevant in the prologue.)

To be super brief and include as little spoilers as possible, the book tells the story of a man named Gatsby, who grew up in poverty and decided to reinvent himself as a rich man in hope of winning back over a woman he once loved. Though he is known to throw lavish parties, one of the key points of the novel is apparently when the narrator finds him outside of one, staring across the bay at a green light coming from the end of that woman’s deck. This obsession eventually ends in tragedy.

As highlighted in the end quote, this is the story of a man forever stuck in the present, between a past he can never forget nor escape, and an illusionary future he can never quite reach. Just like with the other two references, I think R1999 is quoting this half literally, since the characters share similar issues with the flow of time, but like, for real this time.

What I do find interesting here is that from what I could research, I don’t think the quote is meant to be read as a wholly nihilistic take on the purpose of the human condition? There’s also a little bit of an implied admiration for the resilience synonymous with such cyclicality.

And I do find that sense of neutrality kind of accurate to the vibe of the game? Life sucks, but they beat on quite beautifully, don’t they? :,)

Newton Street

Granted this one may be a reach, but I do find it a little too convenient that we meet Mr.Apple on Newton Street of all places. I could write an entire other post on the references to Isaac Newton in his profile, but since that aspect of his character has never been discussed in the main story, I don’t think it’s relevant here.

Regulus’ Record Collection

In the first part, we get two peeks into her record collection. I don’t think they are all meant to be real records, and it’s kind of way too pixelated to see anyway, but I’m pretty sure I see Please Please Me (1963) and perhaps Rubber Soul (1965) by the Beatles on the right side of her office, though I might just be losing it from staring at pixels for too long.

On the wall of the other picture, I think there’s Please Please Me again, My Generation (1965) by The Who, December’s Children (1965) by The Rolling Stones, and potentially an upside down Aladdin Sane by David Bowie even though it was only released in 1973?

If anyone has caught more, I’d be super interested to know :]

Sixties Fashion

Another area I’m definitely not an expert in, so take everything with a grain of salt but I unfortunately cannot shut my mouth.

Idk how much I should source this, but basically, Regulus’ clothes are super inspired by the fashion trends of the Sixties. For example, from what I’ve read, one of the most popular looks of the era for women was what was apparently called a mini dress with "go go boots" (low heeled mid calf white boots), which is pretty much what she’s wearing right? Similarly, the 60s were apparently the era where sunglasses truly became fashion accessories, as it’s when plastic became more mainstream to use than metal, which allowed a lot more freedom of design.

I also read a bunch of articles to try to see if her accessories had any historical significance: this article on chiffon scarves throughout history explains they were mainly used in the 60s to "coordinate with an outfit", but could have bold prints, just like hers does. This one on knee high socks in the 60s, says that they apparently became quite popular because of the mini dresses, in order to still provide coverage. This one was about the newsboy cap, which was apparently very trendy amongst young women back then. And finally, this one explains that backpacks became popular among young people in the sixties, as it’s around when they were modernized for day to day use by becoming smaller and lighter.

I did fail to identify what kind of jackets she is wearing though, it kind of looks like some kind of motorbike jacket on the left and perhaps a type of rain coat on the right? In which case, both were popular at the time as motorbikes were an integral part of the counter culture of the era, and raincoats were apparently a fashion trend for women back then.

Radio Pirate

I feel like this is a pretty well known fact by now but I’m including it in order to be thorough: there is a historical reason as to why Regulus is calling herself a pirate.

In the Sixties, the growing interest for pop and rock music was not catered to by the official radio stations just yet, so what we call "pirate radios" started broadcasting it from offshore ships. This was technically not illegal as they were in international waters, but was still kind of frowned upon because they didn’t observe copyrights law and stuff like that?

And that’s exactly what Regulus is doing when the Manus attacks her in the prologue.

Okay that’s it for this part. I’ll cover part 2 in another post if I have the energy, hope I didn’t make mistakes o777

[chibimui]

The Apothecary Diaries LN3 Thoughts - Ch12-13

LN 3: Prologue-ch2 - ch3-5 - ch6-8 - ch9-11

Just two chapters this time! They're both really interesting chapters in terms of in terms of world building, fleshing out the history of Li as a country and providing little nugget of info regarding the Royal Family - whether it's about the past rulers, or the current ones.

I genuinely love how much lore dropping LN3 and from this point onward it just keeps giving and giving until the end. For now, let's just see what the next two chapters bring eh?

(Warning: These thoughts may contain spoilers from later light novels all the way up until LN15.)

Chapter 12 - Shrine of Choosing

I feel like a lot of people enjoy this chapter for the JinMao implications, and I do too, but the bigger highlight for me is the answer to the mystery! It's funny because I grew up with a medical background so I usually really dislike medical dramas, but taking modern medical knowledge and throwing it into the context of the past always fascinates me a bit. I'm always like "wow, what a clever way to depict this modern medical thing we now understand!" and this is another great example of that.

Anyway, passages which I highlighted before we get to the real meat of the chapter:

1) I find the history of Li really interesting. It doesn't have any huge relevance to the overall plot, but I like how it builds up the world and adds a bit more depth to the politics that occur.

2) Jinshi and Maomao spying on the class is so cute. I can already picture how they'd animate it <3

3) More imperial family world building - again, we love to see it!

And finally, the meat of the chapter:

Appropriate response from Maomao. It's pretty obvious that the Emperor specifically wanted Jinshi and Maomao to go through the shrine together, but I wonder what his overall line of thought was. Clearly it was meant to be a test, but what was he planning to do afterwards once they succeeded? Was he eventually going to use this moment as a way to convince Jinshi to accept the position as royal heir? Was this just a test to see if Maomao would be an appropriate partner for his sons affections?

I also find it amusing how Maomao is just like "of course Jinshi would be here, he officiates ceremonies" without actually asking why Jinshi does that. Maomao please. The evidence is literally slapping you in the face.

1) I wonder what Jinshi thinks about this. He's clearly taking this very seriously. I genuinely wonder what the Emperor told him about why he's doing this.

2) This specific eunuch is also such an interesting character. I can't remember if he ever comes back in any significant way, but he has such a strong personality. He works for the royal family, but clearly does not necessarily bow down to them and knew exactly what to say to get Maomao going. What a sneaky guy.

Maomao being the genius she is always gets to me, but again, I just really like the answer to this mystery and how it connects back to the royal bloodline. Colour blindness, inherited from the maternal line which is foreign blood, and then too much inter-marrying to retain the gene which made it easier for the royal line to die out. I know I've mentioned before reasons why Consort Lihua wasn't picked as Empress, but this is definitely meant to be the main one - at the end of the day she's just too close to the family line.

(Don't worry Maomao, it's not you the Emperor is having a laugh at.)

Jinshi was probably a heart beat away from having an aneurysm. It's one thing for Maomao to question whether the Emperor is making a joke given he is the Emperor, but it's another thing entirely for Jinshi to take him seriously. Jinshi, please. You know the type of women your "brother" likes and Maomao is definitely not up to par.

It's also just funny that the Emperor is aware of Jinshi's little (humongous) crush. If you think about it, Jinshi probably doesn't actually meet with the Emperor that often and when he does I bet it's mostly to talk about the rear palace - Maomao shouldn't really come up in conversation. This leads me to believe Lady Gyokuyou has been sharing the hot gossip and I find this possibility absolutely hilarious.

And once again we have Maomao taking the path to ignorance. What the eunuch said is so curious though - I guess this is foreshadowing the court's displeasure towards the Emperor choosing Lady Gyokuyou instead of Lady Lihua, but for Jinshi I presume this is just a general warning that people will try to target those around him whom he cares for.

Now for JinMao fans this is a big chapter because there's the big question of is this entire chapter foreshadowing the eventual conclusion to their future - Jinshi becoming Emperor with Maomao at his side.

As someone who is in the camp of Jinshi becoming Emperor is the Bad Ending, reading this chapter again..., instead of seeing this chapter as foreshadowing, I read it more as a nudge to help the Emperor figure out how to effectively navigate the current political climate. The Emperor himself has failed the shrine multiple times on his own so far, while Jinshi is only able to "succeed" with the assistance of a partner who was able to use her intelligence to solve the puzzle - not her bloodline.

As Maomao mentions, part of the reason the royal family is in decline may be due to trying to hard to protect the colour blind gene. Maomao being able to solve the puzzle through just her intelligence breaks this--and I feel like this may be what causes the Emperor to decide to elevate Lady Gyokuyou. Wisdom over bloodline purity. Someone who can bring change rather than sticking to the same old traditions of the past.

Chapter 13 - The Empress Dowager

The pay off to this joke is so funny. It's truly moments like these that make me appreciate The Apothecary Diaries so much. It's something that genuinely has no plot relevance, but is such a fun way to build up the world and Maomao's character.

I also think it's so funny that Maomao is so affronted by the wrong accusation that she personally goes to hunt down Shisui just to prove that it wasn't her. She's so offended.

The oddities around Shisui just keep piling up don't they.

I am screaming at Maomao just casually giving Jinshi's stuff away. I mean yeah Jinshi probably has 5000 beautiful expensive handkerchief's and doesn't need it back, but like... I love how she isn't even concerned about whether Jinshi would care or not. And I love that she knows him well enough now to know he probably wouldn't even care to ask for it back.

We have mysteries upon mysteries. I do like how as the series has progressed, Natsu-sensei begins balancing both one off cases and grander, larger mysteries that get their pay off a few books later more and more.

Maomao is truly a cat meeting another cat and being like "This isn't me >_>", except it totally is her. She is so lucky she doesn't live in the era of smart phones because she can pretend she doesn't act as unhinged as Shisui when she is in the vicinity of rare medicinal herbs. Maomao, you literally climbed onto Jinshi's desk when he suggested giving you an ox bezoar. You are absolutely just as deranged if not even more.

Lots of juicy details in this short exchange. One is something that is only fun in hindsight as a re-reader - "Why are you hiding?" Why indeed.

The second is Maomao realizing that she has completely stopped treating Jinshi with any of the respect that is typically required. When I first read this line I see it as somewhat self-deprecating humour, she says it but we know she isn't going to follow through on it. When I consider upcoming events in this novel though, I realize Maomao is actually being pretty serious with herself in this moment. She actually does want to maintain the boundary, even if she keeps failing at it.

This is one of those moments where I really grew to love and appreciate the way Natsu-sensei approaches the world of The Apothecary Diaries.

You have her introduce a character, the Empress Dowager, kindhearted, brought about revolutionary changes meant to better the world... and in other stories I feel like the narrative would end here. She would be showered with praise, everything is great, slavery is gone, just like how things are in our modern world, woot woot. But it doesn't end here.

I feel like that question - "What constitutes slavery" and the following "the practice had simply changed its name and adapted to new social standards" is especially hard hitting in the present when I look at what's happening in the USA/Canada, where class inequality just keeps growing and growing and growing. People might not be slaves by the traditional definition, but a lot of people definitely aren't "free" either when they're chained to their shitty jobs to basically stave off homelessness. "Corporate slaves" is a term that exists and it exists for a reason. The problem didn't just fix itself, it just changed and morphed into something else and there are still so many things we could and should be doing to make the world a better place.

Unfortunately, even when kind people like Anshi exist to bring about revolutionary change, if you push too hard sometimes it will create backlash and I have seen that even within my own province.

Moving on:

1) Maomao? Actually being put to work? Say it ain't so!

2) Loooove this detail in characterization for Lady Gyokuyou. But also, we get a name to the Empress Dowager!

3) More interesting world building details regarding the inter-connected web between Suiren and the royal family.

4) A reminder into Maomao's cautious nature.

Aaaaand the chapter ends with this tiny little bomb - WN spoilers but... Anshi really believes in her curses doesn't she.

I genuinely wonder how Anshi got the idea to come to Maomao. Was it a direct suggestion by Suiren or Jinshi, or was it something she thought of on her own just by hearing about Maomao? It's hilarious to remember Maomao from LN1 just wanting to keep her head down, have no one notice her, and now the Empress Dowager is personally coming to ask her for help. This poor girl.

Also, I think it's interesting how this chapter was called "The Empress Dowager" even though she only appears at the end and you don't actually get that much of her character--you mostly just get Maomao's observations of her. And then next chapter, which arguably characterizes Anshi even more is titled after the former Emperor.

Anyway - we shall end here for today because the next chapter is a Big One and this post is already long enough as it is.

Until next time!

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

a long list of songs that remind me of the witcher

okay i started this way too late at night when i was in a witcher mood so here we go, here's a deadass masterlist of some of the songs that remind me of the witcher (some might be a stretch but WHO CARES, not me)

[ SPOILERS AHEAD !! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED ]

ciri

nobody by the crane wives because of her and mistle

little astronaut by aku p

rose by the oh hellos mainly because of the lines "wars are raising for her" but also some other parts, this one is a stretch

take me to war by the crane wives reminds me vaguely of her during the voleth meir possession, but just her in general

run baby run by the rigs

welly boots by the amazing devil can't fully explain why, it just feels right

soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos she's the king, of course

hard times by ethel cain

eat you alive by the oh hellos

jaskier / dandelion

blossoms by the amazing devil season 2 character arc

the old witch sleep and the good man grace by the amazing devil season 2 character arc again

soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos the poet, for obvious reasons

dandelion by gabbie hanna

dear fellow traveler by sea wolf don't know why. it just seems like the kind of situation he'd get into

rule #35 - microphone by fish in a birdcage kind of reminds me of his plot in blood origin? i didn't like that show either i just love him

little lion man by mumford & sons reminds me of season 3 when he has to tell geralt that "ciri" was taken by nilfgaard

rule #2 - moonlight by fish in a birdcage just him being a golden retriever when he hyperfixates on a person

geralt

blood upon the snow by hozier and bear mccreary

soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos as the soldier

the wolf by the crane wives

yennefer

as good a reason by paris paloma

tongues & teeth by the crane wives i don't know it's just? her?? can't articulate it but it's her

burn your village by kiki rockwell well well, if it isn't the embodiment of yennefer of vengerberg

pray by the amazing devil

pretty little things by the crane wives

the horror and the wild by the amazing devil

yenralt

the angel of small death and the codeine scene by hozier

i want to live by borislav slavov

wild blue yonder by the amazing devil

danse macabre by the oh hellos i know it's instrumental but. hear me out. it reminds me of the melange

like real people do by hozier

radskier

rule #7 - angel tango by fish in a birdcage

caesar by the oh hellos (i have zero reasoning other than i've always imagined the song to an animatic of literally any kind of gay betrayal i DONT KNOW WHY its not at all relevant to the song)

no light, no light by florence + the machine

i want to live by borislav slavov

the garden by the crane wives

yennefer and ciri

arsonist's lullabye by hozier

burn your village by kiki rockwell but under different reasoning this time, so hear me out - "i am the vengeful daughter of the witch." In this essay I will

geralt and ciri

everybody wants to rule the world by lorde - or tears for fears since it's the original of course, i just feel like the lorde version is more fitting for the dark & dramatic tone of the witcher

rule #9 - child of the stars by fish in a birdcage

space song by beach house i think just because of the lines "it will take a while to make you smile" and "were you ever lost? was she ever found?" once again, a stretch

jaskier and ciri

inkpot gods by the amazing devil in the sense of their adorable uncle/niece dynamic (i interpret this song in a familial way in most contexts). it could also very well be a geralt and ciri song

that's all i can think of at the moment. i tried to look for geraskier but i couldn't find anything yet. reblog with songs that remind you of the witcher and i'll add them, this list will be updated as i think of more

[cosmerelists]

More Ways for Hoid to be Tortured

[Includes a spoiler for Tress!]

Hoid has sure had it rough lately. He’s had his memories siphoned off, gotten cursed, even spent some quality time as a coatrack. As @kingjasnah points out in this post, Sanderson is setting a precedent here: we’re all expecting ever new and more hilarious shit to happen to Hoid.

So here are some ideas for ways that Hoid might suffer in future Cosmere books.

1. Trapped in a dimension full of talking bananas...who don’t care about stories

Hoid: And that was the story of the banana who looked up.

Banana 1: [yawning]

Banana 2: Sorry, did you say something? I was thinking about radishes.

Banana 3: I feel so neutral about everything you said!

Hoid: ...I may have found a place nearly as unpleasant as Komashi. 

Hoid: Nearly.

2. A new and ever weirder food craving every day.

Hoid: Well, it seems that today I can stomach nothing except mayonnaise-topped pickles.

Design: And you’re sure you’re not pregnant?

3. Trapped on a planet during a time of no plot relevance 

Design: Hey, will you look at that!

Design: According to the town newspaper, old lady Dennis FINALLY figured out who’s been eating her lettuce. 

Design: Get this--it was a rabbit!

Design: That’s something, right?

Hoid: W-Was it an invested rabbit?

Design: Nope! Just a normal one.

Hoid (sinking further into his turtleneck): I have GOT to get my Luck back.

4. Can only communicate via song...after losing his perfect pitch 

Hoid (singing): And thus you should learn, / that if I must, I will let this planet buuuuuuurn!

Design: Your pitch is off by a mere .0005%!

Hoid (singing): And it’s really not fair--this much is true, / that my perfect pitch, went straight to yooooou!

5. Turned into a rat

Rat-Hoid: The worst part is...it’s not even original.

6. De-Aged into a Child

Hoid: It’s not so bad, really.

Hoid: People perhaps don’t take me the most seriously, but then, I was the King’s Wit for a while so I’m used to that.

Hoid: ...I do hear the word “precocious” a lot. 

7. De-Aged into a Baby

Hoid: (furiously signing with his fat baby hands) What is this, an isekai?!

Design: Hmmm...I should start a babysitting business. 

8. Unable to respond to anyone unless his response rhymes

Design: I love it, to be orange.

Design: If I ever need some peace and quiet, I just end every sentence with “orange.” 

Hoid: Once again I must ask you to act a bit less like a poison-filled sporange. 

Design: It’s fun to watch him incorporate that word into all of his sentences!

9. Grows to the size of a mountain

Hoid: It’s not (ouch) that I mind (ouch) the mountain-climbing business that Design (ouch) is running.

Hoid: But the constant (ouch) pick-axes driving into my shins (ouch) does get a tad...distracting.

Hoid: (ouch)

10. Handcuffed to Kelsier, ala Light & L

Kelsier: [eyes gleaming]

Kelsier: And this time you can’t escape me, Drifter!

Hoid: Hey, is that a spike in your eye, or are you just happy to see me?

Kelsier: ...

Kelsier: T-That doesn’t even make any sense!

Hoid: ...This might actually be fun.

[dragonwysper]

So since I did my last essay for my media class on Mouthwashing, and my research introduced me to some really interesting canon lore that I've not seen get considered by like. Anyone yet. I'd like to talk about it.

Spoilers below for How Fish Is Made, its DLC The Last One and Then Another, and Mouthwashing.

So Mouthwashing is Wrong Organ's second ever game, with their first being a surreal little horror game called How Fish Is Made. Jacob Geller did a great video essay where he talked about it, which is actually how I was introduced to it a couple years ago. It's free to play on Steam as well, so I recommend just playing through it and coming to your own conclusions. It's not as long or as complex as Mouthwashing, and is well worth it. If you'd rather not, then the video essay works just fine (though I suggest watching it anyway. Jacob Geller makes great video essays).

This DLC was released as a teaser for Mouthwashing, and as such, it features some relevant details. You see post-crash Curly three times as you play through, and he speaks to you each time you meet. The details are always vague, but you can infer what he means with Mouthwashing's context.

But I'm not here to talk about How Fish Is Made. I'm here to talk about the 2023 DLC for it, titled The Last One and Then Another. Here's a no-commentary playthrough for those who don't want to play it (though it is also free on Steam).

The first 'conversation' you have (3:55 in the linked playthrough) is about his job as a pilot of long-haul shipping vessels.

It's easy to get on this boat when you have to. You say to yourself, this is just temporary. Just until I get what I need. Got bigger things planned! Then suddenly you're one year in, five years. Ten. First I couldn't stand the constant, constant noise. Now I can't sleep without it. A lot of things can't follow you out here. But it also means the outside world moves on without you. Won't even notice until it's too late.

...Easy to get on, hard to leave.

He talks upon this during his conversation with Jimmy in Mouthwashing, after Jimmy's psych eval, though this shows a different perspective of his feeling trapped in a dead end job. The line about nothing being able to follow you out there [in space] also makes for some interesting foreshadowing surrounding Jimmy's actions. Remember that the reason he crashed the Tulpar was because Anya's pregnancy revealed that he would not be able to hide or dismiss or cover up what he did once they landed. It would be a big, glaring, visible symbol of his assault. And so to get rid of it, he elected first to kill her, and then when that proved impossible, to kill everyone. It's easier to get away with it out in space, where nothing and nobody can follow you.

The second conversation (8:39) features a joke, except it's really about optimism and trying to make light of a sudden new disability.

Do you want to hear a joke?

Three men are in the hospital. The first man cries, "I lost both my hands. They told me I'll never work again!"

The second man wails, "I lost both my legs. They told me I'll never work again!"

The third man? He rejoices, "I lost my hearing, they'll never be able to tell me I'm fired again!"

Hahaha! Good one, huh?

This has to be right after the crash, right when he first realizes the extent of his injuries. He's likely still in shock, and is focusing on trying to cope with his new disability.

The third and final conversation (13:26) delves deeper into his feelings after the crash.

Next comes spite. First it stares back at you in the mirror. Then it's those around you. They're wearing your face, and you theirs.

...You know. He joined because of me. What were the words I used? Ah, right.

"It's a great opportunity. Easy money, just a trip or two."

Someone else's words in my mouth. Hey, worked on me as well, right? Change hurts, but worse things fester for a long time. I told him as much.

I tried, I really did. We're defined by our past, but we're not slaves to it. We said tomorrow will be different. Today would be the last day. The last one. The last one and then another. And another, and another, and another...

This is after the shock has worn off, and he becomes aware of the truth. He sees Jimmy for what he did, and who he is, at least to some extent. He expresses some amount of remorse, though it's veiled behind "I tried." He tried through the wrong avenue. He focused on trying to help Jimmy, instead of helping Anya. I think this line, as well as the reminiscing over how Jimmy joined because of him, shows a feeling of failure on his part. Though this failure is partially for inviting him on board while being unaware of what he'd do, as well as for then not being good enough to help Jimmy.

He surprisingly doesn't hint towards Anya. Even still, after all he's gone through, he still doesn't take her trauma quite as seriously.

After this you get a trailer of Mouthwashing, complete with a scene of Jimmy giving Curly painkillers. Jimmy speaks to him.

Hurts going down, huh? You know what they say...

Pain is how we know we're still living.

This is an interesting line. Lots of potential implications here, lots of ways to interpret it. But I see it as an extension of his malice for Curly. Jimmy thinks Curly deserves to suffer, for surviving. For knowing. It's a backhanded remark, not meant to be optimistic, but rather saying, "this is what you get for living. Suck it up and be grateful you at least have that."

So with the DLC, we get a missing piece to Mouthwashing: Curly's perspective, after the crash. He's silent for most of it, outside of Judgement-type stuff. But this completes his perspective, reveals his slow realization, and demonstrates his character growth. Which is frustratingly minor. I'd hoped he would be more aware. As much as I despise Curly for enabling Jimmy's abuse, I'd hoped he'd at least become aware of it in the face of his own pain.

What the DLC also does though, is recontextualize Mouthwashing to fit Curly's perspective. We get a lot of Jimmy, especially post-crash. Here we see a bit of how Curly perceives it all. It's an interesting point of view, and adds to Mouthwashing's themes.

This was a long post and I apologize. I also have no idea if anyone will like. Read this. But I wanted to talk about it.

[hymouse]

Obey Me! Set to Silent Mode

Summary: You have no way to charge your DDD in your very human home. Pairing: None, if you squint it could be read as GN!MC x Mammon Word count: 851 Warnings: angsty goodness, mentioned drinking, mentioned death, spoilers for chapter 16 and i guess chapter 20 A/N: A very short little dabble. I know canon says everyone keeps messaging and calling after MC returns home for the first time, but I like the idea that MC was really cut off from Devildom and has to work their way through it.

Mammon was promising some terribly stupid business idea for your return when your DDD died. Now it sits on your bedside table, right next to your actual phone. You know, the normal one that used normal, human electricity to connect you to all the people you know and some of the ones you loved. Earthly little pings probed you upon your return- rebirth- some concerned, some angry, but all keen on untangling the story of how you faked your death. Oh, it was like I’ve died and was reborn again, you’d joke over brunch. Your mimosa would sparkle against your lips, the tart sweetness of the orange juice covering the hint of bitterness; bottomless, bottoms up.

Sometimes, in the small hours of the morning, you imagine a devilish glow casting strange shadows across your bedroom wall. They’d dance in the pre-dawn light tempting you with wastefulness, but flee with your dreams as your mind finds your body.

Once you accidentally grabbed it instead of your functional, operational, and relevant human device. You caused something of a minor traffic jam standing in the middle of a busy intersection staring at it. Ruri-chan stares out with a sort of delusional optimism from the confines of her clear acrylic prison while the cross-walk sign blink threateningly. Behind her a Devildom lotto ticket and a coupon for Madam Scream’s Macaroons compete — unsuccessfully— for your attention.

The driver of the gray pickup truck lays on his horn and you skitter to the sidewalk. After a moment you realize you’ve gone the wrong way.

You were late to the psychic’s, but the old woman didn’t seem to mind. The bangles on her wrist jangled as she sits you at her little table in the back room where the sights and sounds of the outside world are caught between layers of velvet and dried eucalyptus. You supposed, in retrospect, that that should’ve been your first warning. No witch worth their cauldron would be caught dead with eucalyptus. She peers at your palm, then your tea leaves, them her cards with gentle scrutiny before surmising you had experienced a great loss. It was enough to knock some tears out of you, but the real crying would happen later, at home, relieved of some $30, burdened by the ever-growing guilt of having left Mammon on read.

Texting 666 on your regular, dinky, human phone did not work. You resisted the urge to throw it against a wall.

Slowly you found psychic visits woven their way into the fabric of your life until every soothsayer and fortune teller became something more than strangers but less than friends. Through the psychics you found the mystics; through the mystics you found witches; through the witches you found despair. A witch’s jealousy to be an ugly thing. They danced around you, play-tracing sigils into your skin and flicking harmless spats of magic into your face. Pact-marked and pigeoned-holed they called you, as useless as you had been before the exchange program. Back home you stared into the mirror, tracing the witch’s sigils on your skin then onto paper. They made for poor art and poorer signs of power laying as dormant as the pact marks scattered across your body.

One day, drowning in a nap-gone-too-long, you imagine Mammon calling for you outside your window; it would be the last time you cried.

Life was less a ride than it was a chariot, dragging you across a bloodied arena for the entertainment of some higher power. Your first order of business was to move your Harrison Porter charm to your keys; looking at it made you feel a little like Alice in Wonderland. Rent was due, so a job was found; then a better one. You counted the bills, paid your debts. You set aside spared bills and change in a little yellow treasure box on your dresser that sat beside a growing collection of nail polish and skincare that never failed to make you feel —dare you say it— pretty. You swam and cursed your way through summer, fostered a sizable clan of cats in the fall, then decided to become a recluse in the winter, watching winter’s stars drape across the sky from the comfort of your home.

The promise of a new life in a new city lured you out from your cave. You went to RAD with so very little, so you decide to part with all but a suitcase of the essentials, then opted for a backpack. The edges of the little yellow treasure chest pressed into your lower back as you hiked your way across the city to a hilly park with a view. Winter still clung to this part of the world; the sparkling of snow was nearly indistinguishable from the steel and glass of skyscrapers; a sky so clear that the horizon retreated into a white nothingness. You soaked in the view, then turned.

At the edge of the outlook a familiar shock of white hair caught your eye. He waves. You could feel the edge of the acrylic Harrison Porter charm, smooth after months of worry.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

FLORA REINHOLD (PROFESSOR LAYTON)

1.) I MEAN WHERE DOES ONE START!

Okay so in the first game (curious village) she’s locked in a tower, cut off from civalisation because her dad died and he wants her to find a worthy suitor. Not a suitor her age, a suitor who’s nice just a suitor who can solve lots of puzzles. Flora is so ill equipped for the real world because of her father. AND her dad definately set up this marrage trap when she was under 10. I mean it’s a woman who’s left in a tower for a worthy suitor. She’s not even trusted to go into town alone! The town is full of clockwork people! No one is even real!

Then in the next game she’s left behind because mystery solving is just to much for her dainty self! So she sneaks on after them, claiming she doesnt, “want to be left all alone again”. In the same game she’s kidnapped, has her identity stolen and no one notices because her only characterisation is she likes pretty things and then when they finally do notice and find out she was abandoned in a barn no one cares! SHE’S IMMEDIATELY LEFT ALL ALONE AGAIN. :(

In the third game Professor Layton lies to her to give her the slip. He has never lied in the entire series but he lies to her because she couldnt take going on this latest adventure. She’s the only character to faint during time travel (which doesnt even make sense) and KEEPS GETTING LEFT ALONE. She’s even left in a cage with her kidnapper who’s apparently only helping them for Flora. I mean she’s deeply uncomfortable when she’s caged with him, no one gave her a heads up that she would be caged with him.

She’s the only female character with the professor in the main trillogy who isnt a housekeep or secutary and her only characterisation ever is she likes pretty things and cant cook.

Thw writers then go on to make Katrielle’s game. A game about the Professor’s daughter. Not Flora the person he took into his care this entirely new character. My argument on why she’s a victim of mysogony there is they wrote her in outdated form and upon reciving critisism decided to sweep her under the rug and replace her with other characters. >:(

2.) Shafted SO hard because the writer’s immediately didn’t have any more ideas about what to do with her. She was set up as a mysterious character in her first appearance, and actually had plot relevance and a lot of potential moving forward. (Light PL spoilers)

However! In the next game, the main character just immediately leaves her at home to ‘keep her safe’, despite bringing a boy younger than her with him. She follows them, gets to join their investigation for all of about maybe an hour of gameplay, and then is promptly kidnapped unceremoniously, and literally locked in a barn for the rest og the game. When the other characters realise she is missing, they do literally nothing and don’t go to collect her until the next day DURING THE GAME’S CREDITS.

In the next game, and the final one of the trilogy she appears in, the main character and his apprentice (once again, a boy younger than her) literally run away from her whilst she’s making them sandwiches. Just so they don’t have to bring her along. She’s also kidnapped AGAIN, and does absolutely nothing about it (doesn’t even attempt to struggle) so that the main character can come in and save her. :|

Additionally, she’s never put in any side material set in the right time frame for her to be there, including not even being MENTIONED in the spin-off sequel (although that game is weird about what references it makes anyway), except for the movie, where she’s in it to once again be told to stay behind, and she gets a single word long line.

A lot of people come out of these games complaining that Flora has no personality, because the writer’s were apparently so determined to keep her off-screen that it was easy for people to question what kind of a character she even is. (She has one, they just don’t show it often enough.)

3.) She is constantly left behind and treated like a little girl even though she’s older than Luke, while he is respected as Layton’s apprentice. They don’t even eat her sandwiches :( They also have a running joke of her being really bad at cooking, but that’s literally the only thing they let her do! She also gets kidnapped TWICE (that is, every game she’s in but the first one) and the first time she gets impersonated by the bad guy and NO ONE NOTICES for most of the game.

Also in the Japanese version she’s “of marriageable age” and apparently really wants to marry Layton when she’s older… and that’s one of her key character traits in that version. She has a really cool backstory but after the first game she’s reduced to “girl whining about how they leave her behind all the time”. It’s like they wanted to fridge her but realized they couldn’t do that to a little girl.

DEANNA TROI (STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION)

1.) Apparently, Deanna was originally intended to be TNG’s Spock replacement, a highly intelligent and rational character. Unfortunately, because she was a pretty woman, the decision was made to put her in a skin tight jumpsuit, at which point all that went out the window. Her actress has complained about this and is the source for her being originally intended to be similar to Spock but being written differently after the costume decision. She’s constantly being put through godawful plots where she’s victimized in ways that male characters - and even the other women who aren’t treated as sexy props - are not, she’s constantly being badgered to get married, she’s constantly being given love interests who there’s no reason whatsoever for her to be interested in.There was one scene where she had to eat ice cream and she kept having to spit it out off screen because the outfit they put her in was so tight she couldn’t eat. She’s an interesting character who is frequently relegated to sexy lamp status even though when she IS written well she is very competent and has skills no one else on the crew has. She literally gets teleported out of her clothes in one episode. Justice for Deanna

2.) She is an underused and underdeveloped character compared to her male counterparts. She is the only character who wears a deep-cleavage suit instead of a standard Starfleet uniform (thankfuly she does wear an uniform in latest seasons). Whenever she gets more screentime it’s only to have her body or mind violated. She is a psychologist with empathy powers, but it feels like writers didn’t really know what a counselor is for in a futuristic spaceship full of men who don’t go to therapy, so she barely has anything to do except having her powers conveniently blocked, weakened or taken away by alien of the week.

I love her because she was such a sweet, caring and intelligent character, but the writers clearly wanted her to be a hot babe of the show.

Saving grace: she really does improve in the laters seasons.

3.) She is mostly relegated to being a potted plant or a sexy lamp. She is supposed to be an empath, but mostly she gets to go “captain, i think he might be lying” about characters who everyone can see are definitely lying. AND everyone else in the show gets to wear a uniform and she doesnt for NO REASON untill the second to last season of the show (and even then it isnt Her Choice, but a man makes her do it) (and the female uniform is a catsuit for no reason, the male uniform is. a shirt and pants at this point). OH and maybe 75% or her plotlines are either men assaulting her in some way or another

[autism-alley]

ok full immediate finale thoughts!!! spoilers for everything below!!

LUKE NARRATION???? SAYING PERCY’S FIRST LINE??? YES HELL YES THE PARALLEL

FINALLY PERCY VS LUKE SWORD FIGHT TRAINING BETTER LATE THAN NEVER I GUESS

ok??? liking it so far

nvm not liking the kronos part and how he just Knows so earlyyyy

walker’s angry face is GOOD

god blood is gold!! glad they included that

ok dialogue feeling a little clunky again

why is hades’ helm bronze i thought it would be stygian iron like nico’s sword (edit: it’s not i looked it up)

don’t like that we’re just back at montauk and the police/press don’t show up which is like. what’s the point of making him a suspected domestic terrorist and national fugitive if it’s not relevant to this fight?? and it doesn’t play a role in how the trio gets home by percy making sad puppy eyes on national television as a way for the story to show percy’s cunning and grudge against gabe, and by cutting the flight back to new york there’s no sense of dread as percy takes the journey to olympus. i get they couldn’t have him fly if they changed the deadline being passed but like… maybe!! they shouldn’t have changed it. in the books it’s clear percy will be SMITED if the deadline passes and the bolt isn’t returned. IMMEDIATELY. he should already be dead. instead of in the books being shown zeus’ barely contained wrath, yet we. nothing. zeus’ first action is promised to be smiting percy and then nature will go to war with itself and i’m Not Getting The Impression At All that is happening. the radio says the weather is extreme and earthquakes are being used to break up storms but we aren’t seeing any of that. the sky is only partly cloudy here, you would think if nature is tearing itself apart it would be everywhere and very extreme. the book tells us it would be the apocalypse

lmao mrs dodds reappearance let’s see where this goes

they made her way nicer here lmao but i don’t hate it

yes!!! annabeth giving him her necklace for luck i love

those r pretty weak storm clouds like we’re finally getting some clouds and they’re just weak as hell. what happened to the sky being black. they’re so light and sparse. i had to rewind to see the lightning they so don’t look like storm clouds. and i know if they completely covered everything we wouldn’t see the establishing shot of the empire state building but maybe pick a different one. instead of a top down, we look up, feeling small in the shadow of the gods, as storm clouds swirl around the empire state building, obscuring the top, storms obscuring olympus itself as it is plunged into war

“i don’t have an appointment” lmao

“annabeth is afraid of spiders” just stated. once again telling not showing. but i LOVE the analogy about big things squishing small, scary things. i love it a lot that was rly good

hilarious that percy’s necklace’s cord is so thick compared to luke and annabeth’s like it highlights how empty it is

idk how i feel abt olympus. it’s grand, as it should be, and i presume empty bc of the war (but like. Everyone is gone? nobody… stays to fight? or people who don’t fight but olymous is their home? they all leave? they all leave their home? would all the demigods leave chb? no?? the books literally show the demigods prepare for war towards the end of the series?), it feels ancient as it should, but idk if it feels… godly? divine? like it should be radiating. i’m not getting paradise vibes but i can try to justify it to myself with the war

OF COURSE HE IS?????? (reading this back idk what this references lmao?)

zeus does not feel asshole enough. i love lance reddick. rly i do. i am heartbroken he is gone. i would never have cast him as zeus.

still hate the kronos thing

“i surrender” regardless of my feelings abt the show or this scene or the implications this has this does still make me emotional

bitch he’s one 2 talk lmaooo LMAO AND POSEIDON SAID AS SUCH

enjoying the greek idk how accurate it is will have 2 ask bestie but we love seeing the greek gods speak greek of course

“obedience doesn’t come naturally to you” “no. sir” LMAOO IDK IF I WROTE THAT DOWN RIGHT BUT THAT WAS KINDA FUNNY

“the sea does not like to be restrained” YES!!

…sally taught him ancient greek? hm. idk. they’re erasing the way percy knew so little abt the mythical, percy and annabeth’s dynamic in the book is he’s out of his element in the mythical world and she’s out of her element in the mortal world. they need each other. this annabeth is very clueless abt the mortal world’s culture, but this percy just knows so much abt the mythical world, i am not getting the impression they need each other

“do you ever dream about mom?” killed me. im dead. im six feet deep im gone. the rest of these notes will be written from the great beyond

oh ok i guess the pearl works for that too?

thalia tree looking kinda wimpy ngl. why is it so. skinny and like skinny all of a sudden in its trunk and its branches so thin. they should be full and lush THIS is the magical tree protecting camp’s borders? created by zeus to preserve his daughter??

stoll brothers?? maybe? idk? two kids of a similar age who could be brothers, mistaken for twins, even, seen for like half a second?? i’m leaping already

THE HUG

oh so excited for this scene let’s gooo luke and percy yes yes yes my excitement for this was so much my mom got annoyed lmaooo

ARE THOSE TEARS IN LUKES EYES

RECRUIT??? OKAYYY THIS IS INTERESTING!!! IT GOES BAD SO HE PULLS OUT THE SCORPION??

also you’re trying to recruit him after you tried to kill him by sending him into tartarus?? lmao?

BACKBITER??? IS IT HALF AND HALF?? IDK I CANT TELL?? BACKBITER??

ok yea backbiter. miss luke’s introduction of it in the book tho. how its deadly to the moral and the mythical

loving the ambiance of the fireworks through the trees omg

“i met your dad” being the thing that sets luke over the edge yes yes yes this fight isn’t Incredible but the fight scenes in this episode are LEAGUES BETTER THAN THE PREVIOUS EPISODES

mixed feelings abt annabeth being there. i like that she got to hear luke’s betrayal first hand and obviously i like her defending percy but her being so hesitant abt luke is so important to the series. she had no hesitation at all. :/

also miss the scorpion. i do miss the premeditated attempted murder

we’re skipping all of percy’s stay at chb? :(( makes me so sad. but peep the new bead. wish we got more focus on that instead of it just being there we just breezed past percy’s summer at camp :(

“you are a leader in the eyes of your follow half bloods” no. No. NO. not until after the titan’s curse does percy step into the leader’s role STOP RUSHING THINGS, DAM(N).

OH WE JUST SKIPPED OVER ANNABETH DECIDING TO GO HOME?? WHAT ABT HER AND PERCY TALKING ABT IT?? WHAT HE SAYS IS WHAT MAKES HER SERIOUSLY CONSIDER IT RIGHT?? i can’t remember if the train scene was supposed to be that scene but what the hell

ALSO ANNABETHS HAIR YESSS I LOVE HER TO DEATH THATS MY GIRL!!!!! SHE LOOKS SO GOOD

GROVERS SEARCHERS LICENSE

SEARCHING THE SEAS YES THAT MAKES SENSE FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THE SEA OF MONSTERS SET UP OK

okayyyy trio being cute

theeee beach looks exactly the same? and the owners don’t lock the door? i get before maybe it was magically unlocked but the owners didn’t stop by? is it just magically unlocked again? (i guess. was it a dream?)

JACKSON REUNION STILL GETS ME

OH???????

lmao percy being sassy. well. ok no. he’s a little too confident. book percy even when he said bold things in the face of gods was usually a little scared still on some level especially in the first book we should be seeing some of that and why tf kronos just telling him his plans also idk if i rly like the grim reaper vibes he got going on

wait what

we’re skipping over their real reunion?? or was that real? what happened?

enjoying percy’s room tho it’s pretty close to how i imagined

they never explained the blue food as sally’s sign to percy she still has her sense of self, as her sign of rebellion against abuse. it’s just there. it feels like when the blue food became a fandom meme and it seemed to lose its meaning as a mother’s reassurance to her child that she was ok, she was herself, despite all the hell they’ve endured. now it’s just here. checked off on a list. tossed half-heartedly to book fans and horribly unexplained to new fans. ://///

SALLY DOESNT KILL GABE???????? SALLY DOESNT KILL GABE!!!!!! RICHARD RUSSELL RIORDAN JUNIOR. YOU FUCKER. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER. IM COMING FOR UR ASS, BOY. RICK??? DISNEY??? WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS SOME FUCKING NERVE.

i. wh. this episode was pretty solid until this. i am devastated. how could they do this to sally. how could they do this to the story. just. how could they do this?? and for what? a joke? even in the movie where percy kills gabe it’s funny but it’s still INTENTIONAL what the fuck i don’t even. i don’t even know how to process this. i cant even say the wind has been taken out of my sails. my sails caught on fire and disintegrated. i am stranded in the middle of the sea with no sails at all.

[thefirstknife]

The exotic mission is incredible. Please get your exotic fish and dunk them in the HELM and then do the exotic mission. It's best to go in not knowing anything, though the mission is quite difficult gameplay wise. I'd still recommend trying it out on your own and then checking a guide later. Spoilers under:

XIVU. Just. XIVU. We're quite literally tithing her and she's quite literally addressing us directly now. That's not good! And yeah, the Pyramid architecture we've seen last week? That's where we go. It opens up:

And Xivu welcomes us in with some absolutely metal lines:

It's a drowned Pyramid.

The mission is timed once you get in here, you have 10 minutes. It's more than enough when you come prepared but you might have a tough time the first time around:

And the main area is in a full on maze inside of a Pyramid!

And there's a guy in there :) :

Once you kill the guy, you get "the audience" which consists of going to the veiled statue, aka the Woman, and receiving the exotic, which is a scout rifle called Wicked Implement. It looks... certainly interesting. It seems to be made by Xivu, but is modelled with heavy influence of the Lucent Brood aesthetic.

The shiny bits look like shiny "windows" in Savathun's throne world, the little sharp capsules look like capsules for holding the Light in the throne world. The muzzle mimics the "eye" central piece of Savathun's ship. I'm losing my mind. What is going on. The lore is also... something else:

Absolutely not having a great time with Xivu telling us to "become a god of death" as those are the exact words she told Osiris in Immolant. Immolant still directly relevant 3 years later? More likely than you think.

Once you get the weapon, seven Darkness artifacts will appear in the area of the maze, the first one being above the statue:

Shoot them all (there's plenty of time to find them all, just be patient) and then come back to the statue where you will get a "commune" prompt which includes Xivu talking to us directly, again. All of Xivu's lines at the end when you get all artifacts:

Now that I'm reading it again, the fact that she says that her sister's "needle" inscribed something "on this temple" makes me think that Savathun was somehow involved in this weapon and this drowned Pyramid. A "temple built of whispers" but "tithed to war in secret" and "sunken in the deep." As if Savathun was in charge of it but left it for Xivu. First thoughts, maybe completely off the mark but mentioning Savathun's involvement here is so peculiar. We know that Savathun has previously been helpful to Xivu, namely with preparing Torobatl for her invasion.

We still have to find the catalyst which might be something weekly so we probably have to wait. It might give us some extra lines or stuff.

Incredibly good shit here. 10/10 mission and season. Made for me, personally and all Xivu enjoyers. Super interested in this Pyramid and how it relates to Xivu and Savathun. Xivu having a Pyramid would be weird, especially since this one is seemingly defunct and sunken, as well as the implication that it was originally designated to Savathun. Or she at least did something with it. Wild. I'm eating it.

[abelflints]

Little ILW MC Angst Piece

Book: It Lives Within

Basis: What brown means to Vax... (ILW MC.) Or, his reaction to the loss of his eye. Warnings: spoilers. angst. injury. Word Count: 620+ A/N: I wrote this forever ago, but I'm digging it up because it became relevant again.

Vax knew brown to be warm. To be human. 

It was the fragmented sheen of the pebbles at the bottom of the lakebed he and Annie had lounged in, sunlight weaving and waving off the smooth rock faces, the rival of any monarchies jewels. 

It was the polished glow of woodwork, hours amassed into a single little figurine, standing proudly on his desk. Hands covered in cuts and splinters, slices and dices, but he doesn’t frown, no– he doesn’t frown– 

Sitting back and thinking– I made that, I made that!, the conjoined laughter of father and son echoing out across the oaken room, buttery hues of the setting sun softly dancing past the silhouette of a son, a hero, and a father. 

Vax knew brown to be homely. To be kind.

It was the tantalizing bronze of food, freshly cooked, the glimmer of the oaken table where family and friends alike would gather, and laugh, and chatter, the umbra hues of the extra servings that he folded into hands that once held onto milk bottles, building blocks, and storybooks, but now holds onto a world, weighted down, heavy and hurting and hoping for something– something less– 

Vax knew brown to be an oath, a truth, and a promise–

It was the glint of his mother’s ring, catching on all the angles of the light, and sending rainbows bounding across the ceiling. A golden-brown and gilded thing, crested by the cream of a quaint little cranium, the skull ring that she had clutched to her fingers, and now, he clutches to his, the scrawling swirl of calligraphy sheening softly with each turn as he spins it around through the air  - memento mori - remember, you will die. 

Vax knew brown to be familiar. To be grounding. 

It was the colour of the sap that raced down the tree he had hidden in, and wailed and bellowed before Annie, a stream of mocking ghostly wails that sent her screaming, not laughing, like he had intended, and then, his run to her, brotherly arms outstretched, it’s just me, it’s just me, I’ll never let anything hurt you, okay? You’re stuck to me, see, like this sap is to this tree, and I won’t let anything happen to you, I won’t let anything happen to you… 

I promise, Annie. I promise. 

Vax knew brown to be many things, but mostly, it was home.

It was his mother’s eyes, his father’s, his sister’s, everyone that ever mattered to him– 

Or it was the speckling of freckles across the nose of the boy he had sneaked out with at camp, tangling his fingers into his hair and realizing, oh, that’s what the feeling of my tingling chest when I saw my friend in his silken suit at prom was, oh, that’s the feeling of my pinkened cheeks as I heard him speak, oh, that’s… this is… this is… 

The truth is, brown was– is– so much more than a colour. 

So maybe that’s why he sobs, and sobs, and sobs, and sobs,  like a man possessed, inconsolable, on his haunches, no consolation left in the soft compress of strong arms and frantic utterances “Vax– Vax– show me, show me, show me, please, show me where it hurts, let me take care of you–”

Brown was good, brown was safe, brown was home, soft… sweet– 

And stolen from him. 

So maybe that’s why he sobs, when the last of it is taken from him. The one thing he took pride in, the homely hue of his kin carried down in one singular eye, and struck out with one single swipe. 

“They got– the wrong eye– they got–”

It should have been the other eye. 

…It should have been the other eye.