#because both of them contributed to the awful situation at hand

[dragonwysper]

So since I did my last essay for my media class on Mouthwashing, and my research introduced me to some really interesting canon lore that I've not seen get considered by like. Anyone yet. I'd like to talk about it.

Spoilers below for How Fish Is Made, its DLC The Last One and Then Another, and Mouthwashing.

So Mouthwashing is Wrong Organ's second ever game, with their first being a surreal little horror game called How Fish Is Made. Jacob Geller did a great video essay where he talked about it, which is actually how I was introduced to it a couple years ago. It's free to play on Steam as well, so I recommend just playing through it and coming to your own conclusions. It's not as long or as complex as Mouthwashing, and is well worth it. If you'd rather not, then the video essay works just fine (though I suggest watching it anyway. Jacob Geller makes great video essays).

This DLC was released as a teaser for Mouthwashing, and as such, it features some relevant details. You see post-crash Curly three times as you play through, and he speaks to you each time you meet. The details are always vague, but you can infer what he means with Mouthwashing's context.

But I'm not here to talk about How Fish Is Made. I'm here to talk about the 2023 DLC for it, titled The Last One and Then Another. Here's a no-commentary playthrough for those who don't want to play it (though it is also free on Steam).

The first 'conversation' you have (3:55 in the linked playthrough) is about his job as a pilot of long-haul shipping vessels.

It's easy to get on this boat when you have to. You say to yourself, this is just temporary. Just until I get what I need. Got bigger things planned! Then suddenly you're one year in, five years. Ten. First I couldn't stand the constant, constant noise. Now I can't sleep without it. A lot of things can't follow you out here. But it also means the outside world moves on without you. Won't even notice until it's too late.

...Easy to get on, hard to leave.

He talks upon this during his conversation with Jimmy in Mouthwashing, after Jimmy's psych eval, though this shows a different perspective of his feeling trapped in a dead end job. The line about nothing being able to follow you out there [in space] also makes for some interesting foreshadowing surrounding Jimmy's actions. Remember that the reason he crashed the Tulpar was because Anya's pregnancy revealed that he would not be able to hide or dismiss or cover up what he did once they landed. It would be a big, glaring, visible symbol of his assault. And so to get rid of it, he elected first to kill her, and then when that proved impossible, to kill everyone. It's easier to get away with it out in space, where nothing and nobody can follow you.

The second conversation (8:39) features a joke, except it's really about optimism and trying to make light of a sudden new disability.

Do you want to hear a joke?

Three men are in the hospital. The first man cries, "I lost both my hands. They told me I'll never work again!"

The second man wails, "I lost both my legs. They told me I'll never work again!"

The third man? He rejoices, "I lost my hearing, they'll never be able to tell me I'm fired again!"

Hahaha! Good one, huh?

This has to be right after the crash, right when he first realizes the extent of his injuries. He's likely still in shock, and is focusing on trying to cope with his new disability.

The third and final conversation (13:26) delves deeper into his feelings after the crash.

Next comes spite. First it stares back at you in the mirror. Then it's those around you. They're wearing your face, and you theirs.

...You know. He joined because of me. What were the words I used? Ah, right.

"It's a great opportunity. Easy money, just a trip or two."

Someone else's words in my mouth. Hey, worked on me as well, right? Change hurts, but worse things fester for a long time. I told him as much.

I tried, I really did. We're defined by our past, but we're not slaves to it. We said tomorrow will be different. Today would be the last day. The last one. The last one and then another. And another, and another, and another...

This is after the shock has worn off, and he becomes aware of the truth. He sees Jimmy for what he did, and who he is, at least to some extent. He expresses some amount of remorse, though it's veiled behind "I tried." He tried through the wrong avenue. He focused on trying to help Jimmy, instead of helping Anya. I think this line, as well as the reminiscing over how Jimmy joined because of him, shows a feeling of failure on his part. Though this failure is partially for inviting him on board while being unaware of what he'd do, as well as for then not being good enough to help Jimmy.

He surprisingly doesn't hint towards Anya. Even still, after all he's gone through, he still doesn't take her trauma quite as seriously.

After this you get a trailer of Mouthwashing, complete with a scene of Jimmy giving Curly painkillers. Jimmy speaks to him.

Hurts going down, huh? You know what they say...

Pain is how we know we're still living.

This is an interesting line. Lots of potential implications here, lots of ways to interpret it. But I see it as an extension of his malice for Curly. Jimmy thinks Curly deserves to suffer, for surviving. For knowing. It's a backhanded remark, not meant to be optimistic, but rather saying, "this is what you get for living. Suck it up and be grateful you at least have that."

So with the DLC, we get a missing piece to Mouthwashing: Curly's perspective, after the crash. He's silent for most of it, outside of Judgement-type stuff. But this completes his perspective, reveals his slow realization, and demonstrates his character growth. Which is frustratingly minor. I'd hoped he would be more aware. As much as I despise Curly for enabling Jimmy's abuse, I'd hoped he'd at least become aware of it in the face of his own pain.

What the DLC also does though, is recontextualize Mouthwashing to fit Curly's perspective. We get a lot of Jimmy, especially post-crash. Here we see a bit of how Curly perceives it all. It's an interesting point of view, and adds to Mouthwashing's themes.

This was a long post and I apologize. I also have no idea if anyone will like. Read this. But I wanted to talk about it.

[anthropomorphicbeancake]

Atrocities happening to innocents that are a part of the oppressor state or group, is still the fault of the oppressor, not the oppressed for using the same tactics in their defense.

[stormyrainyday]

apologies this is far from a coherent shower thought but i think it's time we like. decided to detach our identity a bit from the things we do. it's fine to just read. you don't have to be a reader. it's fine to just game. you don't have to be a gamer. you can be those things but i feel like in a quest to find ourselves and open our hearts, especially to others online (because i know, the first thing we do when on a new platform is say hi im [name] i like these things we should talk, i know, i do, my pinned post is literally that), i feel like we forget that we are more than the things we do and even the things we love. we, to borrow words from slay the princess, contain it in our multitudes.

it's a sentiment i've felt for a long time as someone who has been on the internet and in fandom spaces for a good decade now, and like. i find when we hold these things so close that they become us, we become too defensive over them. how many minor fandom disagreements spiral into threats, name calling, doxxing even? i find, especially younger users in fan spaces, tend to take even small differences of opinion and take them personally. saw someone blow up and call people awful names over believing only one person could top in a genshin ship. another left a server i was in because they disliked a popular character, and other (respectfully), decided to share why they did like her. i get that things like rejection sensitivity are a thing, but i think this failure to recognize the self as an entity apart from the things you do and the thoughts you have definitely contribute to this. phenomenon i suppose.

it's genuinely slay the princess that has given me the vocabulary to express and understand this thing i was already thinking. i think, though we are not gods, it's important to understand that we are not things so easily defined. we consist of our thoughts, our actions, our perceptions, our beliefs, and more. even the outside world's perception of us reflects some part of our nature. but not all of it. it's impossible to define oneself in one, two, three words or even an essay.

because like we don't exist in a vacuum. part of our existence is defined in our interactions with others. but not all. never all. there is no one who can truly know you, and we cannot truly know ourselves. our principles bend to the whims of circumstance no matter what we tell ourselves otherwise, so we can't decide what we are or what we would be in a situation for sure, ever. and that's not a bad thing, but if we can't ever truly know ourselves, then how can we assign such great importance to something as superficial as the things we enjoy sometimes?

we are both a constant and the capacity to change. and to take just a handful of things and call it your identity, even subconsciously, is a disservice to the self. in an effort to be seen we break ourselves down into easy (i hate to say it but) marketable pieces.

take being a reader for example. it has always felt like vague slang for booksmart, thoughtful, likely quiet and introverted as well, just as much as it means "i like to read books". theres an aesthetic to it involved, and a whole subculture. do you write in your books? do you keep them museum-fresh quality? do you read smut or classics or high fantasy or satire and what does it say about you? if you say audiobooks aren't real literature, are you signalling to others about quality and sophistication, or are you a pretentious asshole, and ableist to boot? these connotations assigned to such an otherwise benign thing about someone are i think are reflective of the construct of identity and perception. i could go on about it in a way that's more coherent but i, a student, have other things to do right now.

(does being a student make me intelligent? does it impress you to know i study medicine? what if i told you i average Cs in my classes? what if i told you i dislike patient care? what if i told you i'm not here for the money OR to make the world a better place, and that i'm here purely to serve my curiosities about the way the body functions and to absolve my obsessive need to understand just what are we? does this change what you think of me? does it matter? what if you knew the guilt i felt for seeing so much suffering, but still hating patient care enough to worry endlessly about being stuck in it as a career? am i better for it? but i have not acted on this guilt. it is a mere feeling that only i know. knew. is it different now that i've confessed it? does it matter? does any of it change who i am, fundamentally? or am i a thing detached from it all? or. as i like to believe. is it both? your shifting perceptions of me and the way i change shape and form (so much like our beloved princess in slay the princess) in your eyes, they make up me just as much as the soul or the self or whatever other philosophical name you assign to it. at the end of the day, isn't the most important thing that i am just me? both devoid of and constituted of the sum of my parts? what is found in the spaces between my cells? impulses and chemicals. is that me? is it all me? can i ever really know it? and why, why, why define it at all?)

[bloodybreakupscene]

heyyaa, HOW ARE YOUUU? ｡ ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

i hope you’re doing well!! i was wondering if i could request some gwen stacy x fem! reader dating headcanons! 🙏🙏

please and thank youu!!!<33

-> 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊.

gwen stacy x fem! reader

-> gwen stacy dating headcannons (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

-> hello!!! i'm doing good thank u for sending this in, the idea is so cute ^__^ hopefully i did ur request justice (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠) , n e wayzz she def listens to alex g she is the number one alex g fan ♡⁠(��˃͈⁠ ⁠દ⁠ ⁠˂͈⁠ ⁠༶⁠ ⁠)

• i feel like she’d confess first, but it’d be in private and right after you two hung out so that way if you'd reject her she could quickly run back home never to be seen again. but, her overthinking was all in vain, as you accepted her confession.

"and i've felt this way, for. . a while! and it's okay if you don't feel the same way—"

"aw, i'd love to be your girlfriend, gwen."

"i know i know it's weird—"

"gwen i like you too."

"i knew you wouldn't feel the same way but i just—"

"GWEN."

• at the beginning of your guys' relationship she feels very insecure and is unsure of herself, she knows she's closed off, she knows she's not the prettiest, but all of these thoughts seem to vanish as you hold onto her hand and give her a soft smile, a smile that reaches the depths of her heart and ignites a feeling of emotions she hadn't felt in a long while.

• all of your hangouts before felt like dates to her, so she doesn't really have the need to go out to a fancy restaurant or go to the park for a picnic, she feels as if there's enough romance and passion within your hangouts it could count as a date.

• she keeps her identity from you, it's a huge secret, like a lock it in a safe and throw away the key kinda secret. her identity already cost her one lover, she doesn't want it to cost her another.

"what are your thoughts on spiderwoman?

"hm? oh! uh, i don't really care for her."

"haha that's kinda funny, i don't either but i thought you would!"

"what makes you say that? 😒"

"i don't know, i always see you after i see her, so i thought you were a fan or somethin' i dunno 😣"

• loves touring music stores with you, she'll always try and show off her knowledge about the drums because it's the one thing she feels confident in, she'll go on and on about it as you watch how her face lights up and lips curl up in a smile as she talks.

• speaking of music, she loves, LOVES, listening to music with you. she believes that music says a lot about a person's aesthetic, personality, taste, etc. so when you both are just sitting on the school bus, on a field trip, you'll share a pair of headphones listening to a playlist you both contributed to.

• she doesn't deal well with jealousy, she'll let it bubble inside her until it goes away, which it eventually does. whenever gwen sees you with another person she can't help but imagine that you like them better than her, that you'll eventually see that she isn't the best and that you deserve better.

• aside from this, you guys are a very cute couple! no denying that. she'll most likely spend more time at your house than hers, being around you and your family is (embarrassingly) one of her favorite things, just watching a movie or helping with dinner makes her life feel normal and domesticated.

"do you wanna come over for dinner tonight? my mom's making [insert dish here]."

"duh, oh my god her food is so good!"

"pfft, you're so cute 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩"

• cuddling is her favorite thing to do with you, whether its at your home or hers she just enjoys embracing you because it's a situation where she feels calm. her father walked in on the two of you holding each other, fast asleep on the couch completely disregarding whatever movie you were watching. he's glad his daughter has moved on and finds comfort in you.

[imrowanartist]

Written with the prompt “We need to talk.”

Set in the Rosie AU

Tags: Established PriceGaz, trans pregnancy, just some fluff

-

After John leaves for his training shift at Credenhill, Kyle tries to lay in bed a while longer.

Tries being the operative word there, since he can already feel the urge to pee again; his little Bee making it known that she’s awake too. He places a hand on his bump and despite his morning grumpiness, he can’t resist a smile as he feels her usual movements.

Just ten more weeks before he’ll get to meet her for real, a thought that both excites and terrifies him.

With a slightly exaggerated groan, Kyle drags himself out of bed to get ready for the day. He promised Laswell he’d go over some intel and he has an appointment with his ob-gyn later in the afternoon too.

Researching intel for Kate is not his favorite job, but it makes him feel useful and he likes being able to contribute to the team, even if he can’t be in the field anymore.

The morning passes by uneventfully, besides a handful of extra pee breaks and one snack craving he can’t resist. The afternoon brings its own challenges.

The weather is slowly getting warmer and the closer it gets to the summer, the less Kyle can hide his growing bump behind coats and sweaters when he goes outside.

It’s not that he’s ashamed - he hasn’t been since he was a teenager and he refuses to be now. He just discovered that he has very little patience for having to explain his situation to random curious strangers.

Today, however, is a typical gloomy spring day, which means he’ll be able to go about the rest of his appointments with relative anonymity.

When Kyle gets home by the end of the afternoon, his limited amount of energy has been spent. He’d planned on unpacking some of the baby stuff they received from Dotty in the nursery, but as he sinks down on the couch, he decides that a nap is in order first.

It’s one of the plus sides of being pregnant, he thinks to himself as he fluffs up a pillow. No one bats an eye when you take a nap at random times a day.

He must sleep longer than he thinks because it’s the sound of a key turning in the lock that wakes him up. Squinting at the clock he notices that it’s indeed about time for John to come home from the base.

He’s still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when his partner enters the living room and throws his jacket over the armrest of the couch. Kyle blinks at him as he notices John’s stiff movements.

“Hey, “ he greets, sitting up. The what’s on your mind? goes unspoken between them.

John’s body language is tense as he puts down his bag and crosses his arms. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Kyle frowns at him, confused as to what he's referring to. “Eh?” he says, wondering what on earth has John so on edge.

“Your message,” John replies, clearly getting frustrated as he rubs his forehead, “You said we need to talk?”

Kyle grabs his phone and opens his messages. “I don’t remember sending you - oh… aw, bloody hell-“

At the top of his messenger app, he indeed sees that he sent John exactly that. And now that he reads it again, he suddenly remembers why and when.

“Kyle?” John asks, almost nervously.

Kyle sighs, cursing the hormone-induced forgetfulness that most definitely caused this. “I’m so sorry, I was gonna say ‘We need to talk about that registry list mum sent’ but I guess I got distracted.”

It’s been happening a lot lately. He thought Dotty was joking when she said pregnancy brain was a thing, but by now he has discovered that she was dead serious. He looks up at John. “You okay?”

John lets out a relieved chuckle as he sits down next to Kyle on the couch. “Fucking- yeah I’m good. Thought you’d gotten some bad news at the doc or something.”

“Like I would have sent a text like this-“ Kyle snorts, leaning into John. He feels kinda bad for causing his partner distress, but it’s also a little funny.

John turns to him abruptly with a raised eyebrow. “I distinctly remember you texting me the same thing before you told me you were gonna keep her.”

Kyle has to wreck his brain for a moment, but then he remembers what John is referring to with a wince. “…Yeah okay fair,” he says, before leaning towards his partner and kissing him on the cheek. “But no, everything’s good. Me and Bee are right on track.”

John sighs again, but this time Kyle recognizes it as one of relief. It’s sweet how much he worries, making Kyle feel a wave of affection for him.

“Good. That’s good.” John grunts, then asks, “You hungry?”

Realizing it is about dinner time, and that Kyle definitely has no energy to cook anything whatsoever, he nods. “I could go for some food, yeah.”

John already reaches for his phone, giving him a questioning look. “Anything you’re craving?”

Ah, how well his partner has gotten to know Kyle and his particular pregnancy moods by now. He gives John a grin as he leans back onto the couch and puts his feet up on the coffee table.

“Thai, I think,” he hums thoughtfully, putting a hand on his stomach and feeling Bee nudge it as if she agrees. “Yep, definitely Thai.”

[silent-sanctum]

A Slice of Morioh: Stone Free

Okay I felt self-indulgent for a bit and I wanted to write a bit for the Kujos in Morioh. So, enjoy this short fic where baby Jolyne discovers her Stand for the first time 😊

word count: 1.5k

Your daughter was always the excitable child who loved to explore the world around her, including the supernatural existence of Stands.

That was why Jolyne was with you and Jotaro on the trip to Morioh because you both knew she’d throw multiple tantrums and whine about how she’d miss her dad or why he got to see new stuff while she didn’t.

Perhaps what contributed to her excitement of Stand was her exposure to Star Platinum and Silent Sanctuary two years ago.

It all happened when you were out investigating a Stand report case and Jotaro had to watch over her. He had many things needed to be done for an upcoming conference and the little one had began to fuss and cry for her father’s attention.

She was at the top of the stairs that afternoon, stomping her foot to grab Jotaro’s attention, and just as the man was about to respond, her foot slipped off the edge and would have tripped down the staircase if it wasn’t for Star’s instantaneous reaction, catching her before an accident could occur.

Jotaro was about to scold her out of worry but stopped when Jolyne gaped in awe, staring at the hovering purple ghost that stared back at her with wide eyes. And it occurred to him that his child was able to see Star Platinum. She was able to see Stands.

You had come home the next day upon hearing the news and went to check it for yourself. You situated Jolyne in her room and together with your spouse, brought out both of your Stands for her to see.

At the end of that session, Jolyne sat on the plush carpet as she giggled at Star and Sanctuary’s antics to play with her, while you and Jotaro looked at each other with growing concern. If Jolyne could see Stands, then she must have a Stand dormant within her as well, the virus responsible for its creation passed down from your blood to hers.

You two could only prepare for that day to come and the explanations and trainings to follow. Though, you never thought it would happen in the middle of the night in Morioh.

She slept in a different room near the master bedroom where you and Jotaro occupied, so you’d expect the little girl to barge into your room every morning with the sound of her footsteps coming over.

However-

“Mommy! Daddy!”

The two of you jumped out of bed in an instant and rushed over to your daughter’s bedroom. Jotaro swung the door open in a panic and the both of you hurried inside.

Jolyne sat upright on her bed, crying as she raised her arms before her with hands replaced with translucent cyan blue strings. She noticed you standing in surprise and directed her arms to you with tears in her eyes.

“My hands are gone!” She cried. “I want them back mommy!”

“Oh baby...” You approached her and sat by her side, wrapping an arm around her sides to gently grasp her wrists. “I know this looks scary at first, but you just have what me and daddy have.”

Jolyne sniffled, turning to you with confusion. “What is it?”

“Do you remember our ghost friends, Star and Sancty?” Jotaro said as he sat by his daughter’s side opposite to you. She nodded. “Now, you have one as well.”

As simple as that, Jolyne beamed and gasped. “Really?!”

The raven-haired nodded once, reaching out to grasp Jolyne’s strings with Star Platinum’s hand. You followed after and wrapped the other spool of strings with Silent Sanctuary’s fabric. “Yes pearl. Your very own ghost buddy that’ll accompany you until the end of time.”

“B-But, why are my hands gone? Mommy and daddy’s hands are still here but mine are strings...,” Jolyne pouted. "My ghost's a meanie."

“Well, you can tell your friend to give your hands back,” you said, running your thumb over her wrists to ease her remaining anxiety. “They’ll listen to you. Just say, ‘pretty please give my hands back’ and ta-da!” You opened your palms to mimic tiny poofs. “Wish granted.”

The little girl puffed her cheeks and nodded, wiping her eyes first before closing them tight. “Ghost friend, can I have my hands back pretty please?”

In a few seconds, all of you watched as the blue strings moved on it own, tightly weaving together until they formed into the desired shape. By the end of their movement, your daughter’s chubby hands returned back to normal.

Jolyne opened one eye to peek at the result and let out one big “whoa” with much delight. “Mommy, daddy! They’re back! Look, look! ”

You giggled, hugging her as a reward. “Good job Jojo~”

“Can you bring your friend out pearl?” Jotaro asked, curious, but Jolyne tilted her head with a pout.

“What do you mean daddy?”

“Like this...” At cue, Star Platinum manifested out of Jotaro with a wide smile fixed on his face. “Just show them as a whole.”

You let Sanctuary out as well, letting the banshee-like Stand face your child and reaching out to her. “There’s no need to worry dear. Let your friend hold Sancty’s hands and she’ll guide them out.”

“Okay...” She closed her eyes tight again and clenched her fists, making another wish. “Mommy’s and daddy’s ghosts are waiting for you. Can you come out please?”

“You can talk to your friend in your head, Jolyne. No need to keep speaking it out loud,” Jotaro said, placing an encouraging hand on her back.

Within the next few seconds, two cyan limbs phased out of your daughter’s chest and Sanctuary immediately stretched forward for them to grab. Moving back, your Stand drew out Jolyne’s Stand out.

“Woah!” Your daughter gaped with awe, so did you and Jotaro, watching as the cyan child humanoid giggled, softly wrapped with rose-gold from your smiling Stand. There wasn’t anything too extreme in terms of its appearance, with its form simply wearing a pair of neon green shades and striped shoulder pads, likely inspired by Silent Sanctuary’s blindfold and Star Platinum’s shoulder plates.

Star hovered closer and gestured your Stand to hand over the young ghost to him and at their body now in his grasp, Jotaro’s Stand grinned and lifted them to the air like a proud father, all while the cyan child played with his flowing hair.

“Star! Please behave!” Your husband said, cheeks tinted pink.

You cooed. “Does this mean that aside from our parental paranoia about our child’s safety, you’re somewhat also happy that Jolyne has a Stand to fend herself with now?”

Jotaro sighed, combing his hair back. “As you can see...” He gestured to the two Stands gleefully welcoming the new one into the family.

You huffed and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Our little girl is a strong one,” you muttered. “With enough time, she’ll grow up to be as tough as you, jagiya.”

He hummed, reassured. “Or as you.”

“As the both of us.” You leaned your head on his shoulder with a shy smile.

“Mommy?” You let out one acknowledging ‘yes?’ as Jolyne looked at you with wide eyes, her Stand now hovering before her waiting. “Does she have a name?”

“What do you want to name her sweetheart?”

“Hmm...” Your daughter pondered. After a bit of thinking, Jolyne widened her eyes and held her Stand’s hand. “Stone Free! Her name’s Stone Free!”

“That’s a great name.” Jotaro said before you could, ruffling her hair. “You take care of her, alright?”

“I will!” Your daughter gave one big nod and let Stone Free back into her with a silent command. At the same time, you and your husband’s Stands did the same. She tossed herself to hug both parents. “Thank you mommy, daddy.”

Realizing it was still 2 in the morning, you helped tuck Jolyne back into bed with the child now under the sheets with you still caressing her hair as you sat on the edge of her bed, while Jotaro knelt on the other side.

“Will my baby sister or brother have a ghost friend too?” She mumbled. Instinctively, you placed a palm over your small tummy bump. You shared a look with your concerned husband from across the bed and answered truthfully.

“We’ll just have to wait and see, pearl.”

Seemingly contented, Jolyne nodded and closed her eyes, preparing to return to sleep. You kissed her forehead and stood, walking to the door with Jotaro by your side, his arm around your waist. You paused and sent one last glance at your child.

“Good night sweetheart.”

“Good night~"

[cadybear420]

39 40 41 42 43 E F G H for Evie and if possible Alan.

Ask game here!

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

For Evie, it's kind of a mixed bag. Obviously if it's something very severe or glaring (like Caleb dating someone as awful as Zoe), she'll call it out. But most of the time, Evie has a hard time judging how severe certain flaws are. "Is this worth bringing up? Would I just be making a big fuss out of nothing if I bring it up? Or am I doing harm and being negligent by not bringing it up?"

Alan is pretty much the same as Evie, but doesn't spend as much time worrying if something is worth bringing up or not.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Evie is very senstive to her own flaws and constantly questioning herself. "Did I handle this right? Did I severely hurt their feelings by saying this particular thing?"

Alan can sometimes struggle to recognize his own flaws. Sometimes he's afraid of spiraling into a self-deprecating mindset.

41. How do they feel about children? 

Evie likes the idea of having kids one day, as long as she doesn't have to carry and give birth to them. She and Aiden have about 4 kids when they marry.

Alan is very unsure about kids. On one hand, he loves the idea of being able to pass down the positive influence his Dad had on him. On the other hand, he's not sure if being a dad is quite for him.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Neither Evie nor Alan have spefic end goals. They have some things they'd like to achieve, but they wouldn't consider them "end goals".

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? 

Evie: "I'm bi with a preference for men. To any dickholes who think this means I'm 'actually just a straight woman looking for attention' or whatever, let me put it like this: I like both mint ice cream and chocolate ice cream. However, I fucking love mint a lot more and it is my primary ice cream flavor preference. Does this mean I dislike chocolate? The correct answer is no, I still like chocolate, I just prefer mint."

Alan: "I'm heteroromantic, and sexually heteroflexible. I only have romantic feelings for women and I tend to have sexual feelings mainly for women as well. However, I'm down to do it with a guy if he's cool."

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Evie is very heavily based off of me, so by virtue of that, I think we'd get along. Then again, god kows how long it will be before we get sick of ourselves.

I think Alan and I would mostly get along, though at times he'd probably be a bit much for me.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride and excitement for both of them. Creating these characters is just so fun. And it's especially fun to make two completely different characters from the same book's MC, and explore how they compare and contrast to one another and how their in-game storylines/experiences are different from one another.

Evie is especially meaningful to me because she's heavily based off of me. One half "the person I was in high school" and one half "the person I wish I was in high school". It kind of gives me a sense of comfort to create this character who has a lot of the flaws I have and is working on them, and in the process gets to attend this high school that provides a sort of a healing experience for her.

Also, making GNC characters and relationships is just very cathartic for me.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Evie can be impulsive and say or do stupid shit sometimes, to say the least. Moments like those often contribute to her "did I do this right or did I fuck up badly" anxiety.

Alan does not take any shit from anyone that harms or gets in the way of something important to him. In a general sense, this can be good, but sometimes his perception of morality in the situation can get very muddled. Often, he fails to understand a situation's complexity, and instead behaves under the mindset of "does something that harms me = bad".

This becomes most apparent in Book 2. He'll side with the cheerleaders, even rooting for Hearst at the basketball game, but once he finds out that Isa cut cheerleading entirely because of that stunt, he'll be quick to turn around and blame them for it.

This mindset would be more directly challenged in Book 3, when he's pit against Kieran for a special role in the cheer squad. On one hand, that spot was promised to him, he can't just give it up to some newbie Heart kid, he wants what he earned. On the other hand, Kieran is also a male cheerleader, one that is constantly being taken advantage of; and was originally slated for a similar spot back at Hearst– he's not doing anything to hurt Alan on purpose, and he's the type of guy that Alan would likely be best friends with and find a sense of solidarity with.

H) What trait do you admire most?

Answered here for Evie

For Alan, I think it's how masteful he is at the art of not giving a fuck. He's a guy with a huge ego and very little sense of humbleness or modesty, but it works in his favor here. He almost exclusively likes feminine and feminine-associated things, and he's proud of it. He dresses stylishly, he's fantastic at cheerleading, and he owns it. When he achieves something or he helps others achieve something, he's very openly proud of it.

Part of it is sort of taking after the stereotypical "popular diva cheerleader girl" stereotype, but he soon realizes it's also kind of his way of reminding himself that he isn't lesser for having GNC preferences, no matter how much he may have been/might be harassed for it. He understands there is such a thing as too big of an ego, but he also hates that there tends to be such a stigma on self-love. It's okay to be a bit of a diva and a show-off sometimes. He's fem, he's an achiever, and he's proud of all of it.

[rey-jake-therapist]

Sandoctober 2023

Day 18: Change

Title: Dream a little dream of us

Characters: Nuala the Fairy, Johanna Constantine and Hob Gadling

One-shot fic inspired with the prompt proposed by @orionsangel86 🖤

Tagging @nualaofthefaerie because I spent an awful time fearing I didn't write her in character and would love to hear your opinion. I chose Haley Bennett to represent Nuala because you said she gave you Nuala vibes :) Also there are some things I wrote that I would have surely omitted to mention if you hadn't written about it before... The Ice Maiden mention is one of them 🖤

And @writing-for-life because you seemed interested 🖤

Disclaimer: this fic and its summary contain major spoilers from the comics!

It all started with an idea: Johanna, Hob and Nuala walk into a bar after Morpheus' death...

For the needs of the story and to simplify things, Johanna replaces Thessaly so she did pretty much the same thing as Thessaly in TKO, but for a much better reason. I'm NOT trying to make up excuses for the witch through Johanna, they're too distinct characters. Johanna's not selfish, she's also not a TERF, in my headcanon she actually dated Wanda at some point and mourned her as much as Barbie did. SHE'S NOTHING LIKE THESSALY, PERIOD.

Morpheus dated both Johanna and Hob at different times :)

SUMMARY In the wake of Morpheus’ death, Johanna Constantine, Hob Gadling meet in a dream at the Green Dragon Tavern, where Nuala the Fairy works. They discuss the influence that Morpheus had on their lives and the love they had for him, as well as their remorses. Despite being unable to change himself, he changed them, mostly for the best. Written as a contribution to Sandtober2023. RATING: general audiences PAIRINGS: references to past Morphanna, Dreamling, Sandflower and beginning of... Nualanna? (Johanna/Nuala) TW: several mentions of a major character's death (Morpheus) STATUS: complete LINK AO3

Johanna Constantine was the first to arrive. She had no clue why she'd ended up in New York, being a Londoner, with no recollection of being summoned for a demon situation overseas. However, the moment she walked into the Green Dragon Pub, she sensed she wouldn't be alone for long. Much to her surprise, the pub was deserted, save for her and the bartender, a lovely brown-haired woman cheerily humming as she polished a glass behind the tall wooden bar.

Approaching the bar with a friendly greeting, Johanna couldn't help but notice the glass the bartender was drying was so spotless literal sparkles emanated from the glass, like something out of a cartoon. In any other place, she might have been taken aback, but she simply assumed the bartender had a knack for cleaning and ordered a bourbon. To her amazement, a bottle seemed to materialize in the bartender's hand, and she couldn't help but smile.

Just then, the creaky door swung open, revealing a man who appeared just as perplexed as Johanna had been when she first entered the Green Dragon Pub. A faint grin played on the bartender's lips as she poured Johanna's bourbon and mumbled, "Ah, I was beginning to wonder when you'd show up."

"I didn't expect to be awaited, but I can't say I'm surprised," the man, who Johanna found rather handsome despite not being her usual type, casually joined her at the bar, gesturing to her glass. "I'll take the same, if you please."

The bartender smirked this time and snapped her fingers to give the man's glass a magical fill of the amber liquid. He raised an eyebrow but made no comment.

Johanna suddenly noticed the girl's pointed ears and exclaimed, "Wow! You're an Elf, aren't you? I always dreamt I'd meet one, never thought I would!"

"I am indeed an Elf," the charming bartender confirmed with a slight smile, "We've actually met before; you even gave me this," she continued, displaying the crystal pendant hanging from her neck. "But it's no surprise you don't recognize me now. We're in a shared dream, and Hob never met me even though we shared another dream recently. People here often call me Nuala the Fairy, but please, just call me Nuala," she added, extending her hand.

"Nuala, Nuala... that name does sound familiar," Johanna replied. "I'm Johanna Constantine, a demon hunter, but you can call me Jo. You already know that, I assume." Johanna shook Nuala's hand, finding it as soft and warm as Nuala's smile. She couldn't help but notice once again how strikingly beautiful her dream friend was. It struck her with a pang of longing that Nuala reminded her of Rachel, the woman who had lost her sanity and life because of her.

The man shook both women's hands and introduced himself with a strong British accent. "Nice to meet you both. I'm Hob Gadling, I mean Rob! Wait… Just call me Hob. What can I say about myself? I'm nothing special."

"You may be human, but you're also immortal! I'd say that makes you pretty special," Nuala wisely pointed out.

Hob began to ask how Nuala knew about his immortality but stopped mid-sentence when he saw Nuala's lips curl into a mischievous smirk. He and Johanna exchanged knowing glances, realizing that questioning Nuala was futile.

Johanna took another generous sip of bourbon and grumbled, "A Faery Elf, an immortal, two Brits in an empty pub in Boston... Of course, it couldn't be real. Oh well, it's still better than my usual nightmares, I suppose."

"Dreams are quite real," Nuala gently corrected. "Just because we're not in the Waking World doesn't mean the moments we live here aren't real. But I sense you already understand that."

"Yeah, and no offense, but you sound a bit too much like a guy I used to know. Correction: an anthropomorphic personification of a man I used to know. Whatever. He's gone. I sort of... killed him," Johanna mumbled.

"I know you believe you did, but rest assured that you didn't kill him any more than I did," Nuala responded, her smile fading as sadness overtook her. Hob, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, appeared almost on the verge of tears as he added,

"Or more than I did."

Bewildered, Johanna looked at her two companions. "So, this is about him, huh? We're all here because of Morpheus! At first, I thought I was the one dreaming of you two, but it seems we're all sharing the same dream at the same time, aren't we? But why?" She asked Nuala abruptly. The faerie simply shrugged.

"Not long after he passed away, I had a dream where I saw him. Morpheus," Hob chimed in. "You know, it took this guy more than six hundred years to finally give me one of his names. I heard he had plenty. Anyway, I thought it was just a dream, but now I'm beginning to think he's the one who's playing tricks on me and on you. For some reason, he wants us to meet."

"He's dead," Johanna stated coldly. "I remember. I was at his funeral, met his exes, and we talked about him. It's all very bizarre." She took another sip of her bourbon, which was quickly mirrored by Hob.

"The three of us were indeed at his funeral; we just didn't have the chance to meet until now, which is rather curious, come to think of it. But Dream is an Endless, he can't truly die. Morpheus may be gone, but he was just one facet of Dream... Lady Johanna," Nuala explained, a hint of sadness in her smile. The way Nuala addressed her triggered a sudden realization in Johanna.

"God, I recognize you, Nuala! Of course! You lived in the castle, and you even cleaned my room. I remember giving you my pendant because you were so kind to me. I'm delighted to see you again!" Johanna exclaimed.

"I'm glad you girls are reunited, but it still doesn't answer why I'm in this dream. I don't know either of you. What's the purpose of all this?" Hob inquired, growing a bit impatient.

"Should there always be an explanation for our dreams? I thought it was quite the opposite," Nuala wisely observed. "I don't think we're here for a specific reason, except perhaps to remember Morpheus one last time," she suggested.

"What a condescending prick he was," Johanna groaned before downing the rest of her drink in one go. She stared at the wall behind Nuala, her brown eyes brimming with profound sadness.

Nuala couldn't help but giggle. After leaving Faerie with nowhere to go, she had wandered for weeks until her lonely footsteps led her to the Mundane world of humans. It took time to adjust to a world devoid of magic, but she grew fond of its strange inhabitants and, in the case of humans like Johanna, their brutal honesty.

"It's not wrong," Hob admitted with an amused tone. "He was cold, distant, and often rude, but I still enjoyed his occasional visits. Before he passed, we saw each other more frequently, and we even... shared a moment after he found me at the White Horse."

"You can say you fucked him, Hob. Nobody's going to judge you," Johanna quipped.

"At least one of us might be jealous," Nuala whispered with a faded smile.

"Yeah, I get that," Hob chuckled. "For a while, I thought maybe we were meant to be more than friends. I seriously considered it. But he was so reclusive! I found out he had a son at his funeral, for God's sake. In the end, it didn't work out for me. Long story short, we didn't want the same things. It's a shame, because he was the only one with whom I could share six hundred years of personal history, and I still miss him for that. All the people I loved… They all died without knowing who I really was. My girlfriend, Gwen... She's fantastic, fabulous even. I don't know how I still find it in me to fall in love with people who I know will die eventually," he chuckled briefly, then his face become serious as he whispered, "Maybe I should tell her. Tell her everything. She won't believe me, nobody ever does, and she'll hate me after she knows what I did for sure, but she deserves to know the truth, I know. Morpheus was the only one who knew, and now he's gone as well. Maybe I should tell her..."

Johanna, who had been listening attentively, nodded and shared, "After Morpheus got his sand back, I didn't think I'd ever see him again." As she spoke, vivid memories of a rainy London night flashed before her eyes – the intensity of his blue stare, his otherworldly beauty, and the unsettling feeling that he could see right through her soul. She realized, though it was unclear how, that Nuala and Hob perceived those memories with the same clarity. A bit flustered, she continued, "I hate to admit it, but my attraction to him was immediate and all-encompassing, and I knew he felt the same. He told me I would stop having nightmares, and he kept his promise. When he visited me one night, I thought he wanted another service and told him, 'Screw you! Leave me alone, let me sleep!' But he came back the following night, saying he just wanted to talk." She sighed and continued, "'Turned out we had a lot more in common than I thought. He knew that, it’s why he came to me. He was used to giving orders, but he knew that wouldn't fly with me. His natural authority was quite arousing, but I wasn't afraid of him, and I spoke my mind. He liked that about me. We were both stubborn and passionate, and the moment he touched me, I felt he would fucking ruin my life and I would do the same to his, but that didn't stop us."

Nuala confessed, "I never got to know him as intimately as you did, and I wish I had. Hearing your story, I think I understand a dream I had shortly after he passed away better. I had just left Faery with nothing but my regrets and no idea of what to do next. I felt incredibly lonely. Morpheus appeared to me and said that in different circumstances, we might have been very happy together, but he had nothing left to offer me, and one day, I would be thankful he never considered me in that way. I woke up thinking it was just a dream and that I was fooling myself, but now I realize it might not have been just a dream. It was really him, right?" She looked inquisitively at her new friends, hoping they might have an answer, but they were all equally uncertain.

"Maybe it was him... maybe it was a dream sent to us by the new Dream, who knows. He appeared one last time in my dreams and said he didn't hold a grudge for what I did, but there's no way it was real," Johanna responded with a hint of bitterness. "You know what Joan Crawford said about love? 'Love is a fire. But whether it's going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.' And she sure knew what she was talking about! I still don't think it was really love that I felt for Morpheus. For a moment, it seemed logical for us to be together, but that's because we both messed up everything good in our lives and disappointed everyone who cared for us. Of course, it wasn't that clear in my head at the time. I was so confused about everything then.

"I remember, when I was in Rachel's apartment the last time I saw her, I hallucinated her... She was alive, just as beautiful and vibrant as she was in my memories, and she had been told that I was a selfish, ruthless coward who ruined everything I touched. It was painful to hear, but it was also the truth, you know? It was my hallucination, but it was caused by his stupid sand. Now that I'm here, I can't shake the feeling that this whole conversation was as much about him as it was about me. Does that make any sense?" Johanna questioned.

"Yes, it does," Nuala and Hob replied simultaneously.

"Morpheus didn't think he was worthy of love because he failed his son," Nuala murmured, overwhelmed by a wave of emotions. "Deep down, I believe he never forgave himself for abandoning Orpheus when he needed him most. Then he had to end Orpheus's life with his own hands. How do you ever recover from that?"

Johanna nodded, her voice carrying a heavy burden of guilt. "I've never forgiven myself for losing Astra, even if it's not something I would admit outside of a dream. Astra wasn't my daughter, but I was like a mother to her. She trusted me to protect her, and she died, and it was all my fault. I didn't pull the trigger, but it felt as if I had. It still does... Morpheus merely made the nightmares go away. For a while, I had this small glimmer of hope that maybe we could heal together, but it was barely a band aid. After a while, when I looked at him, it was like staring into a mirror, and I didn't like what I saw. He probably felt the same! That's why I waited for hours for him to come, eyes wide open, but he was too busy working or so he said... My exes would say he made me taste my own medicine," she let out a wry chuckle and confessed, "they wouldn't be wrong."

"I didn't know the entire story of Morpheus and Orpheus when I was brought into the Dreaming by my brother - who hadn't bothered to warn me I was Titania's gift and might never return to Faery," Nuala began. "I had no opinion on the King of Dreams because I didn't know him at all. There were whispers that he had an affair with Titania eons ago and that he was very cold and distant in his speech. But I had no interest in gossip back then; I simply lived my life... I was known as the Ice Maiden. I was considered one of the most beautiful fairies at the Seelie court, can you believe that?"

"I absolutely can! The more I look at you, the more I regret that we're in a dream. If it were real life, I'd be asking for your number because you are incredibly beautiful," Johanna admitted, taking a deep breath, her gaze dropping down to Nuala's lips. The fae blushed and giggled, her charm only growing stronger in Johanna's eyes.

"Beauty in Faery is so crucial that for a long time, I was convinced that when Morpheus removed my glamor, he had made me ugly. It took me a while to realize what a tremendous favor he had actually done for me. I was finally allowed to reveal my true self completely. It's not that I wasn't truly the Ice Maiden; I will always be the Ice Maiden. But in Faery, that's the only role I could play. No one cared to know the real me, Nuala. I understand why you say that Morpheus wasn't always a good person, and I'm not saying these words aren't true, but it's not how I want to remember him. He was always considerate with me, never asking anything of me, even though he had every right to, given that I was gifted to him. Before I left his realm, he granted me a boon and told me I could use it to summon him whenever I wished. He kept his word, even though it put him and the Dreaming in great danger. I wanted to help him, but…”

Nuala paused to wipe away a few tears from her eyes and continued, 

"I don't think anyone could have helped him at that point. I confronted him, told him he wanted to be punished for what he did to his son, and he didn't even attempt to deny it."

Hob muttered, "I can't believe I'll never see him again. He was the only constant in my life, you know? I could be honest with him about what I was and the life I led. He saw me at my worst and still," Hob paused, chuckled, and went on, "put up with me! Knowing him... it changed me, and not just because he and his sister, Death, made me an immortal. He opened my eyes to some of my wrongdoings. I know I owe him years of terrible nightmares, but I'm grateful he did that because, in doing so, he made me a better person, I hope! Not that there's anything I could do to cleanse my conscience and receive absolution for all the suffering I caused out of greed. But at least I stopped seeing people solely for what they could do for me."

Hob's eyes welled up with tears, and he couldn't hold them back any longer. "He helped me see through my bullshit, but when it was time to help him, I failed him. He visited me shortly after Audrey's death, probably because he needed a friend to talk to. But what did I do? I made it all about me, about my grief! I asked him to... something impossible, I was delusional! When I realized he was in profound pain too, it was too late. At first, I thought maybe I had hurt him by talking about a woman I loved, but when I attended his funeral, I understood. It was so much deeper than that! Maybe I could have helped him find another way out, maybe I could have prevented his death! But I made it all about myself because I'm a selfish jerk... always have been..." Unable to finish his sentence, Hob broke down in tears.

"When I heard he was in trouble, I used the boon he had given me to call him. I foolishly thought I could help, but what could a little elf like me have done? He told me it wasn't a good time, but I insisted, so he left the Dreaming to visit me. Later on, I hated myself for being so selfish then. I wanted him to run away with me. I even asked him to love me in return as a boon!" Nuala swallowed hard and shook her head. "If I hadn't called him, maybe he would have had more time to resolve things with The Kindly Ones without having to die to protect his realm... Lucienne kept telling me it wasn't my fault, and I know she's right, but deep inside, there's always this voice whispering, 'it's your fault, Nuala, your fault...'." She, too, began to cry and covered her face with her hands.

"Oh shut up, you two... None of you are to blame. If anyone must shoulder the blame, it's me! Don't you understand? I'm the one The Kindly Ones called upon to protect Lyta from Morpheus. They told me she was in danger because she had requested them to kill him. They said he had taken her son away from her, and that her son was dead because of him. This poor woman was desperate and had nearly lost her mind. I couldn't let him harm her! I know what it's like to lose a child you care about, and I was angry at Morpheus because he knew it too, yet had done all these things to her! I had the power to protect her, to place her in a magic circle so he couldn't touch her, and so I did it," Johanna confessed. 

Her hands gripping the wooden bar, she continued, tears still held back, 

"I can't deny I was still bitter about the way our affair had ended, and I wanted to hurt him. When he came for Lyta, I said a ton of hurtful things that I now regret. I refused to give the woman to him, so he left after an empty conversation. Apparently, he had been informed that this meeting would take place, likely by his brother Destiny. I had no idea things were that dire. I swear to God that if I had known he had no other way to get out of this mess, I wouldn't have helped Lyta, or I would have tried to make a different deal with The Kindly Ones, I don't know!" As she spoke, Johanna's emotions finally overwhelmed her, and her tears flowed freely.

Nuala stepped out from behind the bar and embraced Johanna, both women still sobbing uncontrollably. Hob joined them, wrapping his arms around them. In a tender embrace, they let it all out. No more words were spoken, just the three of them, crying together. If it had been the Waking World, and if someone had entered the Green Dragon Pub at that moment, they would have assumed a catastrophe had occurred. But it was a dream, a very realistic one, and it was a relief to finally mourn the man they had all loved in their own unique ways and to release all the repressed emotions. They were three different people dreaming at the same time, yet their minds and hearts were connected as they shared the same dream. The pain was real, but it felt good to share it with people who felt the same loss. Morpheus had changed them all. When they’d awoke, they would have to navigate through their lives, finding their way through the darkness that shadowed their paths. Maybe they would try to find each other in the Waking World. But for now, and until the dream ended, they were together, and that was all that mattered.

There was nothing any of them could have done to prevent Morpheus's death, and they all knew it. Morpheus had embraced his sister Death when she had come to take him. He had sought a way out, but he didn't believe he could change. He wanted his realm and his subjects to remain safe, but they wouldn't be as long as he was alive because he saw no redemption for himself, or so he believed.

At his funeral, they had witnessed his lifeless body transform into a shining star. Maybe he will shine above us for the rest of time, guiding our steps. Or maybe he will finally get to become… Something else. 

I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things I should've said That I never said All the things we should've done Though we never did All the things I should've given But I didn't Oh, darling, make it go Make it go away Give me these moments back Give them back to me Give me that little kiss Give me your hand I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I know you have a little life in you yet I know you have a lot of strength left I should be crying but I just can't let it show I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking Of all the things we should've said That we never said All the things we should've done Though we never did All the things that you needed from me All the things that you wanted for me All the things that I should've given But I didn't Oh, darling, make it go away Just make it go away now Kate Bush - This Woman's Work

[bbfeelings]

My contribution to the first day of Kazuki Week 2023: grief/acceptance. Sorry double posting, but I figure it's more accessible to post the entire fic here on Tumblr. You can also read it on AO3.

Title inspired by this song. And for your vibe considerations.

Your Mess Is Mine

QPR or mlm KazuRei. Post-finale, Pre-Time Skip. Family fluff.

Summary: Kazuki, Rei, and Miri attend Karin's wedding in France. Before this, Kazuki and Rei's relationship was largely undefined because they were both fine with whatever that is going on.

────

When Karin flashed her engagement ring over video chat a year ago, Kazuki didn’t imagine he’d be in the French countryside, walking her down the aisle, with Miri tossing petals just steps before them. Karin clung to “Kazu-nii” all those years ago; and just now, she hooked her arm around his again.

Yuzuko’s death once separated them. Parentless and raised by her elder sister, young Karin went to live with a distant relative up north, while Kazuki remained in Tokyo. He believed that she resented him for taking her only family away. Then they reconnected again, and she fitted right into his newfound family. Miri and Karin adore each other, and Rei warmed up to her quickly, too.

Kazuki feels the tears well up. Don’t cry, don’t cry, they’re taking photos. He looks at her; Karin is beautiful in the gown she designed herself. She looks right back at him, the way she squints when she smiles, the same quirk Yuzuko had. I’m walking her down the aisle, Yuzu. Can you believe it? He presses his lips together, but a blink lets the droplets fall.

“Aw, come on, you’re such a cryer,” Karin says, with a smile so dazzling that he almost misses her misty eyes. “You’re gonna make me cry, too.” The two giggles at how silly they look trying to fight back tears.

────

After retiring from their previous careers and moving out of the city to a seaside town, Kazuki and Rei (mostly Kazuki, really) made local friends and were invited to weddings a couple of times. But this particular wedding is unlike anything they’ve experienced. For starters, the celebration is hosted at a chateau—or what Miri excitedly called a castle. Karin’s husband is an award-winning chef specializing in Japanese-French cuisine, so the food is bound to be exquisite. Not to mention, French weddings are an all-day affair, as they’ve been warned that dinner will be served at 9 pm, and the party after will last till dawn.

As her first trip outside of Japan, or perhaps just as a 9-year-old, Miri is having the time of her life. “We’re staying at a castle!” Their room is furnished with one king-sized bed. Kazuki and Rei looked at each other and shrugged.

In the four and a half years they’ve left their old lives behind, the family of three had had a few living situations. After the loft apartment, they moved into an old unit with a tatami floor in the only bedroom. Much to young Miri’s delight, the three of them slept together for an entire year.

It wasn’t an easy year; stuck in a shoe box, between assimilating into civilian life, parenthood, and Rei’s disability, Kazuki and Rei had disagreements. Many. Never fighting in front of Miri was the one thing they could agree on from the start.

But it was also that year when they grew much closer. The reality forced them to communicate, and to face issues head on. Ultimately, Kazuki and Rei wanted the same thing: a safe, happy childhood for Miri. Every time they fought, it was to protect that vision. In that same year, they began to truly mold and fit into each other, consciously or unconsciously. From Kazuki walking on Rei’s right side, Rei’s ability to maneuver in the kitchen alongside Kazuki, to the way they sleep in the futons on tatami.

────

The day of the wedding, Kazuki stood before the armoire; a black suit for him, a navy suit for Rei, and a satin and tulle dress Karin had made for Miri in a shade of sage green that flatters her eyes and hair. She’d even hand sewed her name, in cursive, on the inside of the dress.

“Reminds me of the night before her first day at daycare,” Kazuki said in a tone reminiscent of something like nostalgia.

“A much better job than we’ll ever do,” Rei took a glance then chuckled.

“Can’t argue with that.”

Kazuki zipped up the dress then fluffed up the wrinkled tulle skirt. Miri twirled excitedly. “Can I go? Can I go?” Her eyes sparkled.

“Don’t run too far, be back here in 10 minutes, okay?” She nodded then disappeared behind the door. By the sound of her heels, she was skipping down the hall.

Kazuki combed and tied Rei’s hair into a sleek low ponytail. Rei had kept it at mid length, after discovering his strands form loose waves with the right haircut, instead of a puffy, frizzy mess. Though Kazuki never called it a mess; he’d say it was fluffy while ruffling through it.

“I can do it myself,” Rei said. Kazuki fastened the necktie just right, then smoothed down the collar. “I know. But I like doing it.”

“Hmm.”

────

After the ceremony, it’s the cocktail hours. When the blonde man finally returns with a plate of hors d'oeuvre and two flutes, Rei snares. “Done harassing your brother-in-law?”

“This is the time! A real, living Michelin star chef. I had to.”

“So what did you steal from him.” Rei takes a sip as he watches Miri playing with other children across the room.

“He said we should try using baguette instead of milk bread for French toast.”

“We could test with baguette on the next day off. What else?”

“Something about olive oil… I’m not sure. His Japanese isn’t fluent. And a lot of the food terms were in French,” Kazuki pauses to enjoy the finger food. “You have to try this.”

Rei studies the little piece of toast with various toppings, “Nah. It has olives.”

Kazuki picks out the olive, eats it, then offers Rei again by shoving it directly in front of his face. Rei reluctantly eats off Kazuki’s hand.

“Not bad.”

“Right?”

────

The dinner was a feast. Multi-course, modern Japanese-French cuisine with wine pairings. Rei swears that Kazuki was nearly brought to tears, again. “The miso? The miso in the sauce? Brilliant. Gosh. I wish I was Karin.” Kazuki gushes.

“Don’t even think about stealing my husband, Kazuki,” the tipsy bride waltzes over with a wine glass in hand. Her pretend stern face turns into giggles as soon as she sees Rei. “I don’t think Rei-kun would be happy with that either!”

“Why wouldn’t I be—“

Karin shushes him. “Stop it. Stop. It flew right over you again and I’m not explaining.” Rei closes his gaping mouth in confusion.

“Go get Miri! I’m doing the bouquet toss in a bit!” The giddy bride says before hopping away towards the groom, who waits to take her hand with the fondest look on his face.

“What was that?” Rei asks. Kazuki puts a hand on his back and shakes his head.

“Figured.”

────

Kazuki and Miri wait with a group of women who are participating in the bouquet toss.

“This is so fun,” She says as she yawns. Too much fun, perhaps. It is getting late. “When you and Rei-papa get married, can I be a flower girl again?” She looks up at Kazuki and asks nonchalantly.

“Eh? Why—“

“Kazuki! Get outta there! You’re not getting this bouquet!” Karin shouts and swings her arm dramatically. Her cheeks are flushed and her steps are slightly unsteady. She looks so happy.

“My bad, my bad…” Kazuki holds up his hands as he moves out of the way. The guests laugh at their sibling banter.

The excited crowd gathers. This is where the real fun of the night begins. Karin turns around and does a couple of swings before her toss; the guests watch attentively in anticipation.

“Three… two… one!” The bride jumps and hurls backward, sending the bouquet across the ballroom. In front of the group, Miri realizes the bundle of flowers isn’t coming their way. It’s going completely sideways, towards the wine table. Everyone’s eyes follow the flying bouquet.

Rei flexes his left arm and catches it backhandedly. He turns around, prosecco in one hand, flowers in the other, utterly flabbergasted. The guests go wild; several women swarm him. That man wasn’t even looking!

Miri weaves through the traffic, throws herself at Rei, and squeals. “That was so cool!” She beams and hugs his waist tightly. “My papas are getting married!”

“Eh? What do you mean—“

“Congratulations!” The guests cheer, making him even more flustered. What is Miri saying? He scans the crowd in a panic, but couldn’t find a single familiar face.

Then he sees it. Strawberry blonde, a pair of bright, tea-brown eyes, and a crooked grin. Kazuki swims through the crowd and makes it to Rei and Miri.

“Rei-papa and Kazuki-papa are getting married!”

“Wow, haha, um, nice catch!” Kazuki says awkwardly. Damn it, my nerves! Rei doesn’t say anything, eyes wide like a deer in the headlight. “Um, you all right? Rei?”

“I saw something in the corner of my eye and… this.” He holds up the bouquet, “That wasn’t very normal people of me.” Rei mutters, ears still hot from all the attention.

Kazuki chuckles slyly, “Sure was very assassin of you.”

Rei dishes a side eye and chucks the flowers in his face.

────

They finally coaxed Miri into going to bed. The condition: she gets to hold on to the bouquet when she does. The two men step out to the garden for some fresh air. Rei takes out a brand new pack of cigarettes in French packaging.

“Haven’t seen you smoke in a while,” Kazuki commented.

“Well, it’s for the occasion.” He lights it up, takes a drag, and promptly coughs.

“Can’t handle it anymore?”

“Shut up. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this strong.”

The lively music flows out from the chateau, a stark contrast to the serene and sleepy countryside.

“…would you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Sign the papers.”

“Sign what papers?”

“Gosh, Rei, do I really need to spell it out?”

“You know the answer.”

“Fine.” Kazuki sighs, wishing he’d had a drink before this. “Like, getting married or whatever. Hypothetically, of course.”

Rei takes a long drag and exhales. “I mean, you’re the one who was married.”

“That was different.”

“How so?”

Kazuki pictures the day he and Yuzuko got married at the city hall. She was in a sundress, and he was in a shirt and tie that were sold as a set. But that wasn’t really it, was it? Marriage is… what comes after. Though their marriage barely lasted, and it wasn’t their fault. Kazuki reaches his hand over, Rei passes the cigarette.

Kazuki coughs.

“Told you.”

“Yeah, thanks for the warning.” Regaining composure, Kazuki continues. “You know she died six months later.”

Rei remains silent.

“But it was easy—the decision to get married. It was just the thing to do, you know? If I could do it over, I’d marry her again. She was what I needed. At the time. I… loved her. I really did. And I still do, I think.” He pauses, looking back at the chateau. “Like how I love Karin and Miri. I’d do anything for them—I’d die in their place, if I could.”

The thought of Miri or Kazuki dying sends a chill down his spine. Rei turns his head away. “That’s grim. We’re at a wedding.”

“I know. But—and then there’s you. And I’d do the same for you, too.”

“I can handle myself.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean, Kazuki? You asked me a hypothetical question and went on about… about the people you love. What’s that got to do with each other? I can’t understand you when you go roundabout like that.” Rei pauses, filling his lungs with brisk air. “I need you to tell me exactly what it is.”

Kazuki traces the outline of the man before him, then puts his arm around his slim frame. Rei leans in and rests his head on his shoulder. “We’re not fighting though, are we?”

“Of course not, dummy,” Kazuki says softly.

“Idiot.”

“Jerk.”

“…it’s warm.”

“Hmm.”

“I like you.”

“What did you just say?” Kazuki pulls away, “What are you, a teenager?”

“I didn’t like anyone when I was a teenager.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” he fixes Rei’s crooked tie, “I love you.”

Rei brings them back together and burrows his face in the strawberry blonde.

“I love you, too.”

────

The guests circle the newlyweds as they open the dance. Kazuki and Rei watch from a safe distance, sipping on drinks.

Rei finishes his dessert wine. “This is delicious, why do they serve it in such a small glass?”

“Probably because only an ant like you could drink it,” Kazuki scrunches his nose, “It’s sickly sweet.”

“No, it’s not, it has… layers.”

“I think it’s too sweet.”

“Can we stock these at the diner?”

“Absolutely not.”

“You suck,” Rei pouts, “I’m going to get more.”

10 minutes later, Rei is visibly tipsy. “I learned,” he says as he puts his hand on the small of Kazuki’s back, “these are called dessert wine.” His eyes twinkle. Oh no. Kazuki knows this look.

“Let’s go!” Rei tugs on the lapels.

“You don’t even like dancing!”

“Yeah, but, Karin says we have to.”

Kazuki glances over, Karin is in the middle of the dance floor, picking up her floor-length skirt, laughing and twirling to the poppy music. Kazuki hesitates. He can’t dance to save his life. A happy drunk Rei is mesmerized by the joy spilling over from the dance floor.

Then the music changes. It’s a slower instrumental piece; anyone can tell that it’s a love song. The crowd slows down. Then the groom waltzes in, Karin takes his hand. Cheek to cheek, they step and sway to the rhythm. The guests pair up and follow their lead.

Rei looks at Kazuki, eyes twinkling. He gives in. Then Rei smiles the only way he can: a thin-lipped, strained smile. But Kazuki knows better than anyone else. This is Rei’s happy face. He takes his left hand, and he places his right on his heart. He pulls him in with an arm around the waist.

“Is your arm okay like that?” Kazuki asks, in a voice only Rei can hear. Rei hums. They move with the music; knowing nothing about dancing, they just follow their instincts. Rei puts his head down on Kazuki’s shoulder and closes his eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“Hmm.”

────

Daylight breaks into the ballroom, the partied-out guests sit around, nibbling hot onion soup.

Rei’s glossy, wavy, raven-colored hair is down, draping over his shoulders. Kazuki’s shirt is stained with wine. Their ties are missing. The two huddle together, eating soup.

“If it’s possible, it’d be nice.”

“What?”

“To get married. To you.”

“I see.”

“Tsk. That’s it?”

“You want me to propose now?”

“Maybe.”

“Then I propose to—add French onion soup to the menu.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s delicious.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Hmm.”

“To get married. If it’s possible. That is.”

“Okay. What about dessert wine?”

“No.”

“Fine.”

Kazuki warps Rei into his arms and rests his chin on his left shoulder. Their cheeks touch; slightly sticky with sweat, wine, and maybe a little bit of happy tears.

[ The End ]

Thank you for reading! Fun fact: the baguette French toast is a secret menu at this little cafe run by a French couple near where I used to live. The best French toast hands down. I want to thank the anon who sent in the lovely idea of a KazuRei story at Karin’s wedding.

Check out my other Buddy Daddies fics in the pinned post, if you'd like!

[deadendtracks]

Lizzie and Tommy: Ruby's death, pt. 8

I want to come back to the point about Evadne Barwell blaming Tommy for her daughter's death, rather than her own sister or herself, for giving the supposedly cursed jewel to the girl. There's an echo of a pattern in the Shelby family of blaming Tommy for every bad thing that happens, as if it's his responsibility. I've written pretty extensively about that elsewhere so I won't go into it here except to say that this pattern is also echoed at the end of the season by Michael when he has the line about Tommy's 'lethal hand.'

Even if the sapphire was cursed, and curses are real -- the show is pretty ambivalent about this -- the point is Evadne Barwell cursed Tommy for the consequences of something he'd warned them about. He told Madame Barwell the sapphire was cursed when he gave it to her. She didn't reject it. We don't know whether she told Evadne about the curse, but she obviously found out about it at some point, in order to blame Tommy for her daughter's death.

And Tommy accepts this -- he never points out that it's unfair that he was blamed for this little girl's death, even if the stone *was* cursed. Because Tommy believes he himself is cursed.

I think a lot of this contributes to his horrific actions after Ruby's funeral, when he hunts down Evadne Barwell and murders her and two men who tried to defend her from him.

First, it's revenge: she cursed him and his daughter died. If curses *are* real, that's a horrible thing for her to have done. I have no idea if you could consider his actions justified under that belief system, but I don't think even Tommy thinks his actions were justified, so we'll leave this question.

But his murdering her is absolutely about his lashing out over the fact that he was unable to stop his daughter from dying and missed her goodbye. It's awful, and unforgivable, and possibly the worst thing he does in the course of the series.

He tried to tie this idea of making amends for all the bad things he did to reversing this curse, tried to tie Ruby's living to some kind of absolution. But she died. And I think this probably cements in his mind that he cannot ever make amends for anything he's done, that trying to be a good man is worthless. So he isn't a good man, and lashes out.

There's probably a lot more you could say about this. And it's truly terrible that Lizzie knows he did this thing; that, I think, is something he did do to her. I don't know how she found out, but it's really awful to learn your husband murdered people out of revenge for your daughter dying of TB.

I just think you have to be careful when talking about these events not to conflate this thing Tommy did with what went before, as if he never deserved any compassion in the situation. That can be difficult, I think, because he doesn't deserve compassion for this, but it is important to understanding his character.

But I do think part of what he does is about the fact that he was unfairly blamed for this other little girl's death, on some level. It's a lashing out about more than one thing. I think he kills Michael under very similar circumstances, except for the fact that Michael did try to kill him so it was much more justified, where there isn't any justification for this. But in both cases he's being blamed for things that are not remotely under his control, and importantly, for the actions of other people. I think he has a lot of rage about this, about the expectations placed on him by his family. And of course rage at himself for failing to meet those expectations, because he puts them on himself as well.

"Fuck us, Lizzie. Fuck us! Fuck you and me! Who brought this on? We brought on this curse." This is what he says to Lizzie in the hospital during his panic attack. And why is it us here, why does he include her? Probably because she wouldn't let him die, maybe, and he partially blames her for that, or is angry down deep about what she said when he tried.

[thebigcjart]

Here's Tavros!

Skaa have no last name on Scadrialternia, except for ferrings who can also be referred to as "Terrisborn"

He is part of the Skaa Ferring Caste, the second lowest Caste and a member of the Skaa Class. Ferrings and Mistings are below noninvested people within their respective Classes for a few reasons. First, because especially in the lower Classes, they are seen as an adulteration of higher-Class blood (in the form of inherited Allomancy and Feruchemy). In the higher-classes, its because the Condese fears that any sufficiently-powered individual might try to rise up and upset the order of things. As such, she has engineered the social order to ensure that there are those above them to keep them in check.

The chat client they use is called Palpuller. His Pullhandle is asphixiatedTerrisborn. This is because he is of Terris descent and he can store Breath--temporarily asphyxiating in the process. He latches onto Terris iconography and culture to try and distance himself from the fact that he is a Skaa.

His typing quirk is switching uppercase and lowercase letters, avoiding apostrophes, and using plenty of commas. Additionally, he marks the points where he would inhale in his speech with apostrophes as breath marks.

As a Gasper, there doesn't seem to be a lot of applications for his abilities, but because how easy it is for him to store breath and tap breath, he essentially always has access to some amount of breath. This helps when Vriska tries to choke him out every now and again, but also in situations where he needs to swim for extended periods of time. He feels some amount of pride in his Terris heritage, but Vriska always antagonizes him, reminding him that he is still Skaa. She has a lot of beef with him, actually.

At some point, Vriska shoves him off a cliff, breaking his legs completely. Equius sets him up with one of his more worked-on Hemalurgic spikes; a Gold spike imbued with the power of Gold Feruchemy that doubled as a full Goldmind (it was a Goldmind previously, but was taken and used as a spike on it's Bloodmaker, allowing the recipient of the spike to still access it). Tapping all of the Health inside it allowed his legs to heal, and now Tavros can use the spike itself as a Goldmind for health. This is a significantly more useful ability than storing breath, so Vriska isn't able to give him too much flak for it. Also because that spike was used on Tavros, Equius didnt have much on hand in terms of healing which contributed to him using the wrong spike on her when she was injured.

His Goldmind is his hemalurgy spike between his ribs and his Cadmiumminds are anklets that are obscured by the large cuffs of his pants so they are not easily stolen.

Also I kept his teeth like that. I don't have a good lore reason why they'd be like that. His teeth are just wack.

Some silly quotes:

AT: '' aLL THESE TIMELINES ARE RIDICULOUS,' tAVROS VS THIS,' tAVROS GETS KILLED BY THAT,' AT: hOW ABOUT TAVROS HAS A NICE DAY?' tAVROS IS VALIDATED BY HIS PEERS,' sOMEONE LOVES TAVROS BECAUSE OF HIS FLAWS NOT IN SPITE OF THEM, sOMETHING NICE HAPPENS TO TAVROS, aND IT IS NOT IMMEDIATELY RIPPED AWAY FROM HIM BY A COLD AND UNFEELING UNIVERSE, AT: '' tAVROS GETS A MATESPRIT AND MAYBE NOT AWFUL DEBILITATING WOUNDS CT: D--> I command you to quit breathing. CT: D--> I need to put impale you with my spike. AT: uHH, MAYBE TAKE ME TO DINNER FIRST-- AT: hRK--! AT: CT: D--> Finally CT: D--> Peace and Quiet CT: CT: D--> Wait-- AT: '''''''''' CT: D--> E%cellent.

AT: '' hEYYY, AT: fIRST,' oK,' i THINK YOU'RE AWFUL,' AT: lETS PUT THAT FACT ON THE TABLE ' WHERE WE CAN BOTH SEE IT, AT: '' nOW YOU HAVE BEEN PRIMED FOR THE DIGESTIVE RUINATION THAT'S ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE,' aND THE COMPREHENSIVE SOILING OF THE LAUNDRY ENVELOPING YOUR PERSON,' TG: oh my god you type like a tool. AT: '' yEAHHH, AT: ' nOW YOU'RE GETTING IT, wHAT YOU ARE IN FOR, AT: ' aRE YOU READY TO BE TROLLLLLED, AT: wITHIN AN INCH ' OF YOUR MISERABLE ' ALIEN CORTEX, TG: this is so weak im almost getting tired of wasting good material on you guys

AT: '' wITH MY NEW,' NOT USELESS FERUCHEMY,' iM TOO CONFIDENT TO LET MY AFRAIDNESS MAKE ME FEEL TERRIBLE,'' AG: don't let that new splinter go to your head, terris8orn, you're still a filthy skaa. AG: just because you can take more beatings than other skaa doesnt mean youre better than them AT: '' uHH, BUT,,, '' aRENT YOU ALSO, UH, TERRIS-BLOODED,' AT: aND DONT YOU SAY, ' THAT i SHOULD BE MORE,' UHH, LIKE YOU,,, AG: yeah? well, i don't need hemalurgy to make myself important!!!!!!!!! AG: you wish you were as half as pure as i am. AG: you 8nt shit, assphixi8dTerris8itch AT: '' wOW, AT: '' oKAY YEAH BUT THE THING IS i DONT CARE AG: >::::O AG: skaa trash AG: the world would 8e a 8etter place if you actually died from that fall

(little did she know she would get hemalurgy to make herself more important)

Homestuck Beta Trolls X Mistborn AU

Spoilers for Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn series. This is what powers I think the beta trolls would have if they were born on Scadrial

Aradia Megido - Gold or Electrum Misting

Allomancy: ‘Augur’ (Gold: see own Past), ‘Oracle’ (Electrum: see own Future)

Hemalurgy: Cadmium (Placement Unknown: Gold or Electrum Allomancy

It is unknown what her original misting ability was, but the spike from Equius gave her the other one

Tavros Nitram - Cadmium Ferring

Feruchemy: Gasper (Cadmium: Breath), “Bloodmaker” (Gold: Health)

Hemalurgy: Gold (Between Ribs: Gold Feruchemy)

Cadmium compounder; Vriska makes fun of him for having a ‘useless ability’, but doesn’t see the potential that storing breath has. Equius provides him with healing powers to fix his legs through hemalurgy.

Sollux Captor - Born powerless

Allomancy: “Coinshot” (Steel: Push metal) “Lurcher” (Iron: Pull metal)

Hemalurgy: Steel X2 (Left and Right Orbit: Iron and Steel Allomancy)

These spikes were not given by Equius, but instead were applied in a “freak acciident” involving a “jaiilbroken beehiive”.

Karkat Vantas - Copper/Duralumin Twinborn (mutant)

Allomancy: Smoker (Copper: Hide Allomancy)

Feruchemy: Connector (Duralumin: Connection)

I’m not exactly sure why being a natural twin-born is bad in Scadrialternian society, but it is and Karkat’s gotta hide it. Also the castes follow a natural Misting-Ferring-Powerless-Misting-Ferring-Powerless pattern, and Karkat’s caste breaks that so it was completely eradicated through eugenics so im pretty sure he’s the only one.

Nepeta Leijon - Steel Ferring

Feruchemy: Steelrunner (Steel: Physical Speed)

Nothing special, just run-of-the-steel-mill feruchemy.

Kanaya Maryam - Chromium Misting

Allomancy: Leecher (Chromium: wipe allomantic reserves of target)

Her caste is supposed to be powerless, like Equius', but much like how she's a rainbow drinker in canon, she is somehow a misting in this AU. Snapped after Eridan shot her half to death with his “poison wwand strike” (toxic chromium bullets). He did not know that these bullets were Allomantically viable, and neither knew that she would be able to burn chromium. She uses this to sap Gamzee of his massive Zinc reserves, causing him to be distracted long enough for her to kill Eridan.

Terezi Pyrope - Tin misting - Tin Savant

Allomancy: Scout (Tin: Increases senses)

Terezi and Gamzee are the only Savants on the team, which forms the basis of their bond and later kismesitude on whatever this au’s equivalent of the meteor is. She snapped during a feud with Vriska, which left her blind, but she has been flaring tin for so many sweeps that she can basically assemble visual data through her other senses.

Vriska Serket - Cadmium Ferring

Feruchemy: Spinner (Cadmium: Fortune)

Hemalurgy: Left Eye (Cadmium: Destiny)

Forced Equius to use Hemalurgy on her to heal her during a feud with Terezi, but she was tapping Fortune so hard that Equius managed to select the wrong spike and gave her Destiny instead of some healing ability, which is apparently good luck according to the spiritual realm? It’s destiny to be relevant forever I guess so she can’t really die until the plot demands it. She also has Kelsier’s weird metal vision allowing her to peep into the spiritual realm just a little bit. She ended up having her arm fully amputated due to her spirit not being able to accept another spike. Equius in this au isn’t exactly a roboticist, so she won’t get a replacement arm until wayy later down the line.

Equius Zahhak - born powerless

Allomancy: Thug (Pewter: Strength)

Hemalurgy: Between ribs (Steel: Allomantic pewter)

Equius is a Hemalurgist, who was born without allomancy or feruchemy (much like the rest of his caste). He gave himself pewter to make future hemalurgy easier for him (pushing spikes into/through people is physically intensive). He has also given powers to Aradia, Tavros, and Vriska so far.

Gamzee Makara - Zinc Rioter - Zinc Savant

Allomancy: Rioter (Zinc: Riot)

As a Zinc savant, he is so used to being able to fuck with people’s emotions on a whim that he has no idea how to handle empathy without it. He has a very carefree attitude because if someone is saying/doing something he doesn’t like, he can just Allomantic them away. This also means that everyone around him naturally swell with anger and frustration, which leads to the events of the meteor. Rioters and soothers can also gain control of hemalurgic constructs, so I imagine he could take over any hemalurgy users in the party at a whim.

Eridan Ampora - Electrum “Ferring” (Full Feruchemist)

Feruchemy: Pinnacle (Electrum: Determination)

Eridan, like others in his caste, is a full feruchemist, but unlike his other caste members, he only believes that he has one ability.

Feferi Peixes - Mistborn

Allomancy: Mistborn

Feferi, like all others in her caste, is a Mistborn. The Condese is too, actually.

EDIT: Various bits of phrasing and removed the mature label (I have no idea why I wasn't able to before)

[acotars]

i saw your list of top 5 romance authors and ilona andrews was there so clearly you have great taste but i also saw christina lauren - i read love and other words and ADORED it until the end, which i thought was so incredibly awful that it totally ruined the entire book and the author for me. what did you think of LAOW/did you think other books were better? the whole "cheating but actually rape but skimmed over and never clarified or discussed" REALLY threw me, esp bc i loved it so much before

first of all, thank you!!! secondly, this is so real and it totally surprises me that this isn't talked about more. i've had great conversations about it with some mutuals but it's.... bizarre the way the end of love and other words goes down and in my experience, so unexpected from CL. putting the rest of this under a cut because it got long!!

what happened to elliot was rape, hands down and without question. but the narrative never (never!!) treated it with the gravity it required? and because it happened to him at the same time that he lost macy without any explanation, all of his feelings about each experience get so tangled up and intertwined with each other. when he sees macy again, he drops everything in his life to make things work with her, and we get the distinct impression from the (very few) glimpses into his adult life that it's taken him a very, very long time to rebuild. his recent ex rachel even says something snidely to macy about how much she "fucked [elliot] up," how what macy supposedly did to him impacted elliot and rachel for the entire year they were together. this, combined with other subtext throughout the book suggests elliot had a very hard time with physical intimacy, and his ex-girlfriend rachel very much believes this to be macy's fault.

without digging into blame too far (no one is at fault in what went down on new year's except emma, the girl who took advantage of someone far past the point of consent), i find it so intensely strange that CL still have elliot apologize to macy, that macy still feels justified in her anger at him, that after allll the pieces are laid out between them, macy laments the tragedy — not that elliot was assaulted, but that this "tiny whimper of a drunken misunderstanding" blew up their lives so completely.

the simplest course of action would have obviously been to never write this scene into existence at all — there are so, so many other ways to have broken them apart and left them both reeling for years. any book featuring on-page rape is a massive undertaking, as this is a subject that requires so, so much intention and care in the writing. love and other words handled it so poorly, it ruined the book for a lot of people. and i don't blame them!!! of all the christina lauren books i've read, this is the only one to feature on-page sexual assault. it is also the only book by then two of them that was published as women's fiction and not romance, which i think contributed a lot to the tone and introspection of this book. it could very well be that romance publishers are stricter about guidelines when publishing sexual assault scenes and that influenced the genre switch. it could also be that christina lauren never intended for elliot's new years encounter to be considered rape (even though it so clearly is) — they write about it with a flippancy that is so incongruous with the stances they've shown in other books. the whole thing confuses and disappoints me, but luckily isn't present in their other books.

i really enjoyed the soulmate equation by them — i think it has similar levels of yearning and pining, with less of the will-they-won't-they and none of the assault. others have loved the unhoneymooners but it wasn't totally my thing. the then-and-now situation is also explored really well in twice in a blue moon, but i found the "now" portions less compelling. i would recommend checking out their other books if you feel comfortable doing so, because as far as my memory serves, none of the rest of them feature anything similar to the train wreck that is the end of laow. but also! if that ending was enough for you to never read another book by them, more power to you!!! it was.... so bad and it still doesn't sit right to this day.

[pippin-katz]

I mean, yeah, both are possible; I was just going off of the knowledge that they meticulously discussed the physical intimacy and planned pretty much all of it down to the small details.

I know that the lake scene was much later into filming because Robbie specifically said that they had been doing it long enough that they knew what all the boundaries were and therefore were comfortable doing it without him on set. I also wrote that before we got more discussions about the film, and before we got to see a bit more of Taylor and Nicholas’ current dynamic, albeit through online videos and comments they make about the other.

Now having seen more of them and their dynamic with each other, I believe that the buttons themselves also could’ve been improv.

Although, I wouldn’t say Alex shifts into being “in command” when he does the buttons. It actually feels more like he’s trying to calm his own nerves by distracting himself with the task.

As someone with anxiety, when being faced with a situation that I'm inexperienced with, if there is something contributing to it that I am familiar with, I immediately latch onto that opportunity to contribute and feel like I'm actually helping, rather than just letting everyone else do all the work. It feels like I should be doing something, so I get nervous when I don't have something to do. Finding even a small task that I can do eases that anxiety.

Alex is noticeably nervous even after Henry assures him that he's in good hands. One of Alex's main traits is how much he cares about making sure the people around him are happy or satisfied with whatever he's doing, whether it's sex or campaign work. He's a perfectionist. Despite acting unbothered and suave on the outside, he's actually a people pleaser who gets very antsy when he can't do anything to help.

Alex is out of his element; he admits that he's never "gone all the way" with a man before, whereas Henry's done this countless times. This is comforting, but also anxiety inducing. He won't say it out loud, but Henry having so much experience makes him nervous to live up to his expectations, to do this well.

This is the text from the first time Alex gives Henry a blowjob in the book:

"I've, uh," Alex begins. "I've never actually done this before." "Alex," Henry says, reaching down to stroke at Alex's hair, "you don't have to, I'm-" "No, I want to," Alex says, tugging at Henry's waistband. "I just need you to tell me if it's awful." - chapter six, page 141

He's nervous, not so much about the fact that he and Henry are having sex, but specifically about performing well and making Henry feel good. Alex does not know what he's doing. He's "familiar with the mechanics", to quote his book self, but he basically has to wait for Henry to tell him what and when to do something.

But he does know how to take his shirt off, so when he sees Henry struggle for a second, he jumps on the opportunity to do it for him, so he can contribute and feel helpful.

None of that is really relevant to whether or not the undoing of the buttons was part of the script or not, but it popped into my head and I had to share lmfao

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

About the buttons scene, I didn't thought about the undoing the buttons as a boundary cross before. I always thought it was all improvised not only because of the laughs but also because in that scene Alex was supposed to be tense and Henry the confident one, there's a shift when Alex takes command to undo the buttons that doesn't fit the original scene for me. Undoing the buttons is some sort of intimate gesture but so was the kiss on the arm at the lake and I think we have two scenes where the same thing happened, they trusted each other to improvise these little moments.

Huh... Hey @pippin-katz I think this one is more for you than me

My two cents is... both are possibilities? We don't know where they drew their boundaries or how much was professionally taken into regard. We're also not sure how far into shooting this was. (I think Robbie mentioned that the Paris scene was one of the latter scenes? But I don't know if he meant the whole scene or just the sex) So yeah I think we need to ask the boys for the actual answer

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Exotica accidently letting it slip that she knows all the uppermoons to a demon slayer. Like they have good hearing and now she is suddenly being hunted and that's the last straw for muzan who turns her into a demon if and or exotica saying "fuck it , just this once" and getting a particular nasty men (someone who's deserve it) killed by asking daki or gyutaro.

If you've been following along you'll know I typically make asks as cannon as I can but this one's going to break this pattern because it just doesn't fit with the storyline that I am working on.

Anyways I hope you enjoy!!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Exotica | Consequences

It slipped while you were trying to warn a Mizunoe, the second lowest rank of a Demon Slayer. The truth about the upper moon that they wanted to face was that they couldn’t be beat by typical means. When asked why that was the case you explained the fighting style that Douma had, encouraging them to leave before the sun set. Pressing even further they forced you to spill whatever else you knew about the upper moons all the while pleading that they leave as soon as possible. Alas they didn’t listen and instead held you at sword point saying ‘if you mean so much to them, surely they’d be willing to save you from certain death.’ You knew they wouldn't violate the code and you gathered this was a tactic to avoid your interference but nonetheless it was a threat and a certain duo didn’t play when you were in any hint of danger. 

Sure enough Gyutarou and Daki were standing menacingly in the corners of your room. 

The amateur demonslayer continued to taunt them as they just stood there, as if held back by something. You were concerned but not for you. You knew full well how fast Gyutarou and Daki could move; surely a lot faster than this guy could pierce your skin. If they were holding themselves back for anyone it’d be on the command for That Man. 

“Demon slayers are quite cocky these days, aren’t they?”

Immediately after, the warmth of the Mizunoe’s presence on you vanished and the cooling splatter of what had to be blood replaced it. You tried not to hyperventilate even as you slowly moved your hand to cup the gash that split the skin of your neck leaking out your own crimson contribution. You didn’t scream, you wouldn’t want to scare the girls, or the siblings in front of you. Who were both already crying or screaming. You couldn’t hear them. As the light faded from your (e/c) eyes you hoped everyone would be better off. 

When you awoke, you felt strangely healthy yet on the brink of death. You looked at your skin, it looked healthy but something felt off. Realizing you were dressed in a flowy western style robe you would gain your bearings. Searching the Japanese style room that was filled with lavish furniture, paintings, and books. You eventually would slide open the door to be met with the confusing collection of Japanese styled hallways and stairs. 

You were in the Infinity Castle.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA” 

The upper moons who had gathered upon That Man’s request were shocked to hear such a noise bouncing off the walls of the castle. Daki, who was representing both her and her brother at the time jumped in joy. 

“(Y/n)-chan!!!” 

Leaving the other moons to look curiously at their break in character. Intrigued, Douma is the first to invite themselves to follow along. 

-----

Landing on the balcony you seem to be leaning on for support Daki is in awe of your appearance. She lands on the ground in front of you dropping to her knees and offering her open palms to you.

“D-daki, am I what I think I am?”

“As perfect as That Man himself? Now You Are!” 

You begin to stand on your own clutching the cloth of your robe as you make grips with your situation. 

“Who’s the new blood?”

The conniving voice of the rainbow-eyed demon pierced through as he was playfully perched on the jutting bridge along with the upper moons. They all seemed to change their tunes when you turned to see them all. You had the likeness of That Man. Your confused gaze initiated the immediate urge to protect you. Dominate you? Own you? The demons were in absolute disarray. Your beauty and foreign looks shook them to whatever core they had left. Before any of them could take the time to jump you the presence of That Man demanded order be restored.

“Muzan what is-?”

You put your hand over your mouth as though it would stop the absolute destruction of yourself. You waited for the horrifying end you remembered of the Temari demon. But nothing happened. As shocked as you were, the others were even more so. You could feel more than their worried gazes on you, you could feel the exact thoughts of them all. 

‘How are they still alive?!’

‘Is this a human? But they don’t smell like one?!’

‘Their horrified expression is delicious.’

Cringing a little, you looked into those magenta eyes that looked down upon you. You didn’t have to say anything because you knew, he knew. Finally blinking in response the Demon king introduced the newest demon as his parallel and near equal: you.  

No questions asked or time to register you felt the slight pull of your waist and the shifting of the walls and floors of the castle. Suddenly in a room similar to the one you woke up in you were sitting on something soft. You tried to get up but the engulfing arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you back into the lap of none other than Muzan Kibitsuji. You tried to adjust yourself to make some space between you two but the pale head that slithered along your shoulder wedged itself against the jugular of your neck stopped you. 

“Your neck. The vermin cut it as his last and final wish (Y/n). Isn’t that cruel (Y/n)?”

Evertime he uttered your name you could feel the rumbling of his chest in tandem with the husky breath fanning your neck. A light puncture of the skin and the forgiving caress of his tonuge had you breathe audibly hitch.

“Those demon slayers you seem to love so dearly wouldn’t think twice about hurting you.” 

He released your waist to pull at your robe leaving you exposed to the draft of the room. You promptly sought to cover yourself up and he let you, gliding down your arm to your hand; re-enforcing the protective cover you placed. 

“And how many times have I had to save you? Have my subordinates had to?” 

He straightened back up, removing his head from its place. Pushing you down against him even more, if that was possible, to the point where your head rested against his shoulder. Curving his head practically on top of yours. 

“Drink.” 

You weren’t going to but something within you begged you to. Hesitantly you went to nibble at his neck finding the fangs that had sprouted to enter the skin. Acting as straws, the delicacy of his blood clouded your judgement, abandoning your soft nature for more of a starving one. Your hands that were previously protecting what privacy you had left went to busy themselves with the notion of bringing you closer to Muzan. His hands in the meanwhile replaced yours further holding you as closely as you wanted. You stayed like that for a while before you awoke from your hunger-driven trance to stop drinking, reeling back in horrified reflection. Removing yourself as much as he would allow you too, you focused on protecting your modesty and trying to grasp the reality of the situation. You were a demon. A monster. 

“I-i’m sorry I-”

“You are mine. Meaning you are perfect or almost will be.”

You tried to escape his hold on you but you couldn’t break free. Leaving you like a deer in headlights as Muzan’s hands carded and tangled his hands in your elongated (y/t) hair.

“This is your problem, you care like them too much.”

Swiftly laying you on the tatami floor he easily held your wrists together kneeling by your frame. 

“Give me a name.”

“What? For what?” You knew exactly what for.

“NOW.”

“No.”

“Give me a name or all those girls die.”

“...Horishii Take.” 

A vendor for some merchandise you needed to be sold but a notorious predator upon the girls and even the boys of your found-family. Too long had you been unable to do anything about it. At least this was a good thing, right?

“Good. We’ll let Daki and Gyutarou deal with it.”

He left you in the silence of the room with the moonlight shining down upon you. You cried for the first time as a demon. 

[dailyreverie]

Chill

A/N: A cute and nervous Santi around his crush? Can you imagine? Well here it is. Thank you so much for your request @dreamlandcreations 💖 I hope you like it!

16. “aw, you’re blushing.” / “no, i’m just cold.” + Santiago Garcia

🎃 REQUEST YOUR FALL PROMPT 🍂

Pairing: Santiago Garcia x fem. reader

Word count: 686 words

Santiago is not one to lose his chill. That's his thing. He controls, calculates, he is in charge; with both a mission and a conquest, he knows how to manage every situation thrown at him. And then you arrive, and boy... every sense of control over himself that he used to have is gone.

He is constantly reminded of that whenever you are near. Even when doing something as casual and normal as having a beer with the rest of the guys, Santiago is aware of what little control he now has over his reactions; he is aware of how he smiles more when you are sitting next to him, and how giddy it makes him feel to have your fingers playing with his hand at random moments of the night.

The crisp air of the middle of the fall makes you sit as close to him as humanly possible. He doesn't know who or what to thank, but he still does it every time a chill goes through your spine and pushes you closer to him. Of course, he tries to play it cool, with his arm stretched over the back of your chair nonchalantly, doing his best to keep his focus on the conversation and not on the way your shoulders graze his forearm whenever your laugh pushes your body back.

"...I mean, look at Pope!" Santiago is pulled back to reality at Will's mention of his name, pulled away from thinking how your body is fully leaning against his.

"What about him?" You ask. "He could totally do it."

"Nah, his knees are fucked up," Will speaks again, shaking his head. "Two years ago, maybe."

He really wishes he knew the context of whatever the hell is going on.

"You could take Benny in a beat." You are quick to defend him, squeezing his hand on top of the table. He was thankful for the context of the conversation, and for your kind contribution to it, but oh were you wrong about it. "His knees are fucked up, but he's still in great shape."

"I'm not sure about great shape, sweetheart."

"Well, I've seen you training. You better start believing it, guapo." Your voice seems to drop an octave when you so casually drop the Spanish word, looking at him and winking over your bottle of beer as you take a sip. If words were planning to come out of his mouth at any point, they are now tangled in his tongue because holy shit... he had no idea you could do that, he had no clue you could sound like that. He only manages to form a dopey smile, licking his lips as his eyes roam over your face.

"Look at that! He's blushing!" Benny exclaims, making the rest of the guys look at Santiago with amused laughs.

"The pretty girl calls you guapo and now you are blushing like a schoolgirl." Frankie joins in.

"I'm not blushing!" Santiago is quick to defend. "It's cold in here! I'm just cold."

The rest of the table scoffs and keeps laughing at him. Santiago can only roll his eyes, calling them all pendejos as he does it. He feels your eyes on him after, looking at him with a tenderness he's not used to, a smile doing its best to hide away from him.

"What?" He asks quietly, inching his face just a little closer to you.

Your hands push a loose curl back to its place on his groomed hair, letting your fingers tangle in between his curls until they reach the back of his head. "I know you are never cold, Santi." You whisper just for him to hear, leaning on him to kiss his cheek.

"Maybe I am a little bit cold today." Santi is aware that he's joking. He was caught red-handed being betrayed by his own blushing body, he can only smile before accepting it. "Don't tell 'em, linda."

He catches your smile before you turn back to the conversation, cuddling between his shoulder and his arm. Fall could never be cold if he's got you next to him.

🍂🍂🍂

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[jeonfiles]

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

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a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3