fantasticstoryteller

[fantasticstoryteller]

“My berries cluster black and thick

For rich and poor alike to pick.

I’ll tear your dress, and cling, and tease

And scratch your hands and arms and knees.

I’ll stain your fingers and your face,

And then I’ll laugh at your disgrace.

But when the bramble-jelly’s made,

You’ll find your trouble well repaid.”

~The Blackberry Fairy, Cicely Mary Barker

Thought I’d posted the finished one, but apparently not.

[fantasticstoryteller]

So remember how I bought a motion activated night light for the toilet? Well the cats seem to have discovered it. So I went to for a late night piss and was greeted to an ominous sight

[fantasticstoryteller]

[fantasticstoryteller]

“Why are you so upset about adult content bans? You don’t even post that stuff. can’t you just look at porn somewhere else?”

Well, you see, I have this small problem where my very existence is considered adult content by a small but very powerful group of people and I actually rather enjoy being able to exist in public without restriction so uhhhh put that in your bong and smoke it kiddo.

[fantasticstoryteller]

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

[fantasticstoryteller]

[fantasticstoryteller]

DPxDC Dead Tired/ Brain Dead prompt: The Time Traveller's Boyfriend

Author's note: Anyone remember “The Time Traveller’s wife”? Either book or movie. Because I suddenly remembered and came up with this idea.

Clockwork had just started sending Danny on time-travelling missions. Danny had only been to a couple at the point when he moves to Gotham for university.

Then, while he was walking around Gotham just to familiarize himself with the city, he stumbles into a very pretty guy…

That calls him by his name “Danny?”

But Danny doesn’t know this guy. Yet he looks and smiles at Danny as if they knew each other for years. He’s happy to see him. As if… he misses him dearly…

He even hugs him so tight and warm that Danny’s heart aches.

“Um… do I know you?” Danny asks, confused.

The guy stumbles back and fidgets awkwardly. “Right right, sorry. This must be confusing to you. I should’ve known that you haven’t met me at this point yet. I’m Tim. Tim Drake.”

“Okay… Nice to meet you, Tim. I’m Danny Fenton… though you already know that it seems. Care to tell how and whether or not I should call the police?”

Tim chuckles at that, as if it’s some in-joke he knows. Then he says something that makes Danny stiffen “Have Clockwork already sent you on a mission yet?”

Danny could barely hold back the glow of his eyes or the drop of temperature around him.

Tim notices that and raises his hands placatingly. “Relax. I’m not a ghost or a ghost hunter”

“Then how do you know me?” Danny asks, his voice going just a tinge ghostly.

And Tim smiles so… adoringly at him that Danny had to do a double take.

“Because I met you from the future when I was a kid. And you said that we’re husbands.”

[fantasticstoryteller]

[fantasticstoryteller]

[fantasticstoryteller]

Thanks for the tag, @leatafandom! I got:

No pressure tags! @ekatkit, @writerwhat, @too-much-tma-stuff, @itsthekiks, @lexosaurus, and anyone who wants to join!

❄️ WHAT'S YOUR COZY CABIN DRINK? ❄️

i was tagged by @olismabel and @queerbuck - thanks, loves! :)

no pressure tags: @nadja-antipaxos @danielsarmand @evan-buck @clara-maybe @jackharkness @rainbowcrowley @blakbonnet @mobius-m-mobius <3

[fantasticstoryteller]

[fantasticstoryteller]

Late night at a 7/11 in the Narrows

Jason, stepping up to the counter: yeah can I get a pack of Ma—

Robber busting into the store with a gun: HANDS UP! empty your fuckin’ pockets!

Jason, rolling his eyes and pulling out a gun from his waistband: dude

Robber, aiming right at him: oh I’m sorry fuckface, did you think that little piece of tin was gonna intimidate me?

Jason, throwing the gun on the floor: oh yeah, damn, man, you’re right

Jason, pulling out Red Hood’s instantly-recognizable handguns from their twin holsters on his thighs:

Jason: see, I picked that piece of tin off some asshole robbing little old ladies downtown earlier. can’t believe I reached for it first! must have forgotten

Jason, stepping forward and drilling one gun into the robber’s face:

Robber, trembling:

Jason:

Robber:

Jason, turning back to the counter: yeah, can I get a—

[fantasticstoryteller]

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

[fantasticstoryteller]

Out of all the cool stuff that mythbusters ever shot on high speed camera, shooting a soccer ball at 60mph out of a truck traveling 60mph is one of my favorites

Just look at it. It is the most perfect visual representation of Newton’s 2nd law of physics I’ve ever seen. The ball, which was shot out of a CANNON, drops straight down. Two equal and opposite velocities completely canceling each other out, leaving the soccer ball to drop to the earth with a net velocity of 0. Sir issac newton would be proud to tears of this gif.

And yet this “myth” is nothing more than basic physics at work. A 10 year old with an interest in science could have told us this is possible. 60mph in one direction minus 60mph the exact opposite direction is 0. Basic.

But what makes this so frieken cool is the fact that they went through all the trouble to actually demonstrate the invisible laws that govern the way our universe works. To get this shot both the soccer ball and the truck had to be moving at the exact same speed. Real world variables make that extremely difficult to pull off. It took them hundreds of attempts to get it right. They went through all that trouble to “prove” something we have known as fact for hundreds of years. And we get this amazing gif to watch as a result.

Mythbusters is incredible. Science is incredible. And the fact that this experiment in physics can be used in science classes for years and years to come to help children learn about physics is incredible.

[fantasticstoryteller]

i love this image so much

[fantasticstoryteller]

Sixteen Bucks and a Grudge

Inspired by this post

Masterpost

The Batcave descended into silence as the glowing figure hovered ominously, his voice reverberating through the space. Everyone stared at Bruce, whose face remained impassive, though there was a faint twitch in his left eye.

"Bruce," Danny's eldritch voice echoed again, the flickering green light from his form illuminating the cave. "You promised."

Jason was the first to break the silence, biting back a laugh. "Wait, hold up. Bats, you owe this guy—" he gestured at the spectral figure, "—sixteen bucks? And you didn’t pay him back?"

Tim blinked in disbelief. "Sixteen dollars? That’s it? Why not just pay him?"

Bruce’s jaw clenched. "It’s the principle."

"The principle?" Danny’s ethereal voice sharpened. "The principle is that you owe me money. I spotted you when you conveniently ‘forgot’ your wallet on that mission in Prague. Fifteen years, Bruce. Fifteen. Years."

Dick swung down from the obstacle course, landing with a flourish. "Bruce, this is... shocking. You didn’t pay back a friend? A ghostly friend?"

"Former associate," Bruce corrected, standing straighter.

"You don’t even have an excuse," Damian said, crossing his arms. "Father, this is shameful."

Cass, who had been silently observing, tilted her head at Danny and then at Bruce. "Pay him," she signed.

"Thank you!" Danny exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "See? She gets it!"

Steph nudged Duke, grinning. "This is the best thing that’s happened all week. I’m rooting for the glowing guy."

Jason smirked, holstering his guns. "Hey, Phantom—what happens if he doesn’t pay up? Do you haunt him or something?"

Danny’s eyes gleamed mischievously. "I’ve had fifteen years to think about that. Let’s just say Bruce would learn the true meaning of regret."

Bruce let out a long-suffering sigh, finally reaching into a compartment in his utility belt. He produced a crisp twenty-dollar bill and held it out toward Danny.

"Here."

Danny crossed his arms, floating closer but making no move to take it. "Sixteen. Not twenty. I’m not taking tips from someone who stiffed me for a decade and a half."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, then withdrew a smaller wad of cash and counted out exactly sixteen dollars. He handed it over wordlessly.

Danny plucked the money from Bruce’s hand with a smirk. "Pleasure doing business, old friend."

With that, Danny dissolved back into the glowing green portal, leaving the Batcave in a dim eerie glow for a few moments before it faded entirely.

As silence returned, Jason leaned back, arms crossed, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "So, Bruce, what’s the real story here? Because I need to know why you’d rather let a ghost King hunt you down than pay sixteen dollars."

Bruce turned back to his computer. "Get back to work."

Tim was already typing away. "Oh no, I’m finding the mission logs. There’s no way we’re letting this go."

"Sixteen years of holding a grudge," Dick added, shaking his head. "That guy has serious commitment."

Jason laughed. "Sounds like he’d fit right in."

[fantasticstoryteller]

Fuck off Satan

inspired by this post

Danny Phantom, the Ghost King and part-time Justice League member, stood in the Watchtower briefing room, arms crossed and very much trying to look professional. The meeting had been dragging on, and his phone had already buzzed twice, much to Batman’s annoyance.

The third time, it started vibrating again, drawing glares from the Dark Knight and a few raised eyebrows from other Leaguers.

"Phantom," Batman said, his voice a growl.

Danny sighed, pulling out his phone. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Ghost King business doesn’t wait. Let me just—" He hit the answer button with a sharp jab.

"What?!" Danny snapped, glaring at the screen.

The room fell silent. They hadn’t seen Phantom lose his temper like this before.

On the other end, a smooth, deep voice oozed through the speaker.

"Respectfully, my liege, I ask that you reconsider my proposal on—"

Danny cut him off mid-sentence. "Not today, Satan." With an exasperated sigh, he ended the call and pocketed the phone without another thought.

The reaction was immediate. Superman chuckled, Green Lantern grinned, and Flash burst into laughter. Even Wonder Woman's lips twitched upward.

"Nice," Hal said, giving Phantom a thumbs-up. "Solid delivery."

Danny waved it off. "What can I say? He’s persistent, and I’ve got no time for his nonsense today."

But not everyone was laughing. Constantine sat ramrod straight, pale as a sheet, his cigarette dangling precariously from his lips.

"Danny," Constantine croaked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Was that the Satan? Like... Lucifer Morningstar Satan?"

Danny blinked, tilting his head. "Uh, yeah? Who else would it be? Dude’s been pestering me about a territorial dispute with the Infinite Realms for weeks."

The entire room went quiet again, and all eyes turned to Constantine. The seasoned warlock looked like he might pass out on the spot.

"You just hung up on the actual Devil," Constantine hissed, his British accent thick with disbelief.

Danny shrugged. "Yeah, and? He’s one of my subjects. I’m the Ghost King. I outrank him. If he wants to whine about his little hellish boundaries, he can take a number."

Constantine’s eyes darted around the room, desperately seeking someone to share in his existential terror, but the rest of the League didn’t seem to grasp the gravity of what just happened.

"You outrank..." Constantine trailed off, rubbing his temples. "Bloody hell, kid, you don’t just hang up on Lucifer!"

Danny smirked, leaning casually against the wall. "Oh, I do. And I’ll do it again if he calls during League meetings. I’ve got enough on my plate without playing arbiter for Hell’s bureaucracy."

Clark patted Constantine on the shoulder. "Relax, John. Sounds like Danny has it under control."

John groaned. "We’re all doomed."

Danny, unfazed, pulled out his phone again and started texting. "Now, if we’re done freaking out, can we get back to the meeting? Or do I need to block Satan’s number to make that happen?"

The League collectively laughed, except for Constantine, who was muttering something about needing stronger wards and a drink.