#In better news I have a week off work!
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Nagaina is one of the snakes that's been in Copperhead's care the longest, about six years since he came to Gotham. He originally found her in a travelling circus way down south close to Arizona, featuring as part of a snake charmer's show. However her mouth had been sewn shut by her keeper, preventing her from being able to bite or spit while performing so Copperhead carefully cut the threads loose, laying in wait for her keeper to return.
Thinking he'd left her enclosure unlocked, her keeper mistakenly thought her to be harmless and went to pick her up, only to get bitten again and again for all the years of torment he'd put her through. His death was thought to have been a careless mistake rather than foul play as nothing was missing except the snake, leading authorities to believe it had simply managed to escape after a handling session had gone wrong. Years later and Nagaina is still with Copperhead, having no wish to leave nor return to the wild.
#🐍 || headcanons#🐍 || musings#animal cruelty tw#animal cruelty cw#I was going to make this a drabble but right now I am too tired#Got a week off but momma's not well so caring for the household today#In better news I have a week off work!#Plenty of time to settle down and whack out some very belated replies <3#Got bedroom to rearrange also as summer is coming and I don't want R.orschach outgrowing his current enclosure#Need me a new bed and big chest of drawers to put his adult vivarium on 👀#But YEAH Nagaina's been with Copperhead a while#Her keeper played it up that he was immune to her bites and couldn't die#He wasn't that invincible when her mouth was no longer sewn shut
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I think, genuinely, the coolest part about being in this phandom for so long and semi-consistently putting creative projects out there is that I can look back over the years and see how much growth I've made in all areas of my creativity.
Like, I'm writing things now I wouldn't have even dreamed of years ago, and I'm composing music that past me would have been shell-shocked to hear. And I can see with each new fic I put out, each new song I make, how much better I'm getting. And it's not to say that I've mastered the art of writing and composition, but I've certainly improved a fuckton since like 2017 or whenever the hell I made this account.
Damn, y'all. It turns out that all the experts were right and skill is just a LOT of practice over a long period of time.
#danny phantom#phandom#this post was inspired by: the zine composition i just made#i finished my working draft last night#and imo it blows everything i've ever made before this out of the water#not even a competition#this one is just. better. in all areas.#like i remember working on the last two IB songs and hearing mistakes#spending so long tweaking them#but never QUITE being able to fix them#and now i listen back and hear new mistakes#things i didnt catch back then but i have the ear for now#and i *know* how to fix these issues now#im certainly not perfect and i'm going to make new mistakes with this song#but im sure in even a year i'll listen back to this one and go 'oh! i know what to do here now!'#(oh yeah this post is also partially inspired by The Phantom Martian WHICH IM WORKING ON)#(i wasnt playing a few weeks ago when i said i was writing the next chapter)#(i just am coming off of a 2 week family extravaganza)
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Jitterbug
#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it#and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago#bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall#im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot#i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T#because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks#at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better#its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh#in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats#mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year#i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping#my art#myart#doodles#personal#diary
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guys i think my depression meds are working
#i always forget to take before pics but the halfway-done pic works#the other side used to have a couch but there was also Stuff under/next to/behind it. so it was just as cluttered#i’ve been on these new meds for a couple months but i only just a week or two ago started like#taking them every day consistently. maybe missing one in ten days#as opposed to before i was probably missing it more often than i took it#i’m so bad at new routiiines#but!! doing better now!!!#doing cleaning i’ve been desperately wanting to do for two years#and putting off for no reason for six months#👍#well ok yes i guess burn out depression is a reason#but it’s frustrating when that’s the only reason#compared to my previous extremely crowded house (my family of four plus three roommates) and 50 hour work weeks#but i’m finally recovering from all that 👍👍👍#silverstarschat
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need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu
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#depression has hollowed me out in2 a shell of my former self#and i thmk i need 2 grit my teeth and just get over It whatever It is#recognizing its no easy task but also knowing i cant keep on like this#and allowing myself to spiral into misery thereby preventing any possible change or growth#sigh …. sogh .. i want 2 be a person again . picture friends circa 2008 outlining me in chalk. i want 2 know theres something there#how u ask (me asking myself)#idk but one way or anotjer . and not in that new yrs resolution fallacy way#anyways . anyways z . crazy how a week off from work will leave u feeling real again#i gotta get out of there . step 1😭🙏🙏#its especially hard when everyone arnd you is objectively doing better. partners finances purpose . >staring in2 the camera 1000 yd stare#u get thru the beast of being a teenager like thank god thats over and then b4 you even catch ur breath#your mid 20s are casting a shadow over u like some menacing thing and u have to gulp and say hes right behind me isnt he#i think people often like to give the advice that youll figure it out but it leaves me feeling so disquieted#bc its like sure im sure i will ive made it this far i can do what i need to get by when the moment matters#but it does nothing to assauge the immediate anxiety and feelings of worthlessness and lack of direction yk#goddmanit assuage i spelled it wrong everyone point and laugh#bc its like what if i dont and i mean that in a very like . existential & not material way . idk what im saying but i think thats the advice#i hate most . not sure if u have felt or do feel the same . -__- like yes oersonal experience sure whatever happens will happen and you will#simply adjust but will i ever feel like its something i want to experience/endure .#whatever anyways x2. im journalling i think that helps me the best rn . and its the one thing thats allowed me hope and i think#having that time to examine and mull over and deconstruct is rly helpful tbh. and i would like to think#over the long term i can repair my creativity and cultivate a new outlet that doesnt leave me feeling empty if i cant draw as i used to#yaar#i feel like i dont write for very long tho thats the one thing that kinda blows#two pages maybe and ive only addressed two maybe three points if im being generous lol i get so bored with the actual motion#when my mind moves 10x as fast . and idc for audio logs either ykwim.#ohh tumblr how i love u . tag system like no other
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welp, my hours got cut in half and we’re gonna see how i do with part time hours for a month. i know it’s what’s best for my physical health but i genuinely can’t afford my rent now and i don’t know what im going to do but it’s better than getting fired completely i guess
#i’m gonna just have to work my ass off for that month#and hopefully convince my boss that i can do it#i know the whole point is so o can pace myself better but#i need the money#i’m so stressed#like i haven’t even started yet my new hours start next week#and i’m already ready to prove that i can do full time#i’ll just push until i drop it’s fine
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Another old pic because I can barely be bothered to shower let alone get dressed lately
#i’m so fucking exhausted#and I only have one day off next week#this paycheck better be worth it I’ve worked nearly 60 hours this week just to make ends meet#because I had to get new tires#so I had to come up with an extra $700 somehow#my.jpg
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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Girlies I'm gonna need to stop pretending I'm unemployed and actually go back to work soon and I am not looking forward to it U_U
#i have to actually message the new boss tomorrow like hey here's when i'm available this week please. let me in.#i have completely let go of money stress and it kind of feels incredible#i think i genuinely do need to start submitting stuff for hospital work though; i've heard better things about it surprisingly enough#but ghghhh yeah this has basically been a reset for me and i'm making art n stuff again!! had an emotional crash in the beginning#and have recovered pretty well; i feel a lot better and wanna make sure i can consistently make time for friends and hobbies now#especially after i like. went off the fucking deep end with the store closing#shai speaks
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re: your tags in your reblog about how taylor hasn't felt the need to fly back to the states during the euro leg and how travis was the one to go to her during his off season and the surprise pikachu of it all for her. think there are several things that have elicited that reaction from her where she's realized no, it didn't have to be the way it was despite maybe being made to feel the opposite at the time
Yup.
Again this is probably veering close to territory I don't/shouldn't get into on main because ultimately I don't think there's anything to add and it's all stuff we'll never know.
That being said, lol, I think there's been a lot in the last year that Taylor's discovered that has made her wonder about why she felt she needed to do things the way she did, and I don't even just mean in terms of her relationship. We've all kind of seen her blossoming in ways I suspect surprised even her.
But relationship-wise, I wouldn't be surprised if the way things seem to have felt easy and secure from the start with Travis made her wonder why it couldn't have been with other people in the past (ahem) and more than a little angry for a bit about how easy it is for her current partner to be supportive in a way that comes naturally when her previous one(s)... was(were) not. Obviously I can't speak for Taylor, but I certainly would have a moment of Petty Betty-ness for a little bit.
#Pouring out my heart to a stranger but I didn't pour the whiskey#Anonymous#i still wonder if that's part of why there were some low-key clapbacks last fall#between the surprise songs and some media responses and--#you know#lol this feels analogous to when I started my new job after getting laid off from my old one that I'd been at for nearly 10 years#and how I spent years being underpaid and having shitty schedules and ending up with like actual months-worth of vacation time#because i was never able to take it#and it was just the way it was but I stayed for so long because it was like 'family'#and then i started my new job (albeit in a new field in some ways) and I got paid way more and better hours and a super supportive boss#who like nurtured my desire to grow and move up#instead of my old boss who I considered a friend who was like 'lol we're cutting your hours so that you're not full time anymore#but you're a super valued member of the team and we can't do this without you!'#anyway i nearly cried the first time I heard it's time to go and then got laid off weeks later lmao#and I had a crying breakdown after I started my new job because i was like 'things can be this easy????'#'i don't have to struggle paycheque to paycheque and i don't have to work 7 days a week on the whims of others' schedules???'#'and I can actually have a life and not feel guilted for not being a team player???' anyway lol
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I think its an improvement 🤔
#ooc : the mortal#mod art#nudity tw#the pose works a little better#bit more intertwined and intimate in the new iterations#the angles are okay#i will revisit this in a few weeks when I'll hopefully see through my mistakes and redo this#because my senses are developed enough to tell that something is off...#but my hand-eye coordination and visual library isn't that well developed yet to tell what to fix#hmmm.... regardless. I'm happy to have worked on this piece. it was a challenge
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System Breach Sundayyy! ⭕
#6
The notebook was surprisingly full. It seemed to be a complete work, as opposed to the encrypted log retrieved from Rupert’s apartment, which Connor suspected to have been an ongoing journal. From the crime scene photos, the notebook had been found in plain sight at that—perhaps even left out intentionally.
Metaphorical gears spun, tractionless, as Connor attempted to reconcile the possibility that this deviant had wanted to send them a message. Premeditation, planning, arrogance—how could errors and instability in an android’s code produce such sophisticated behavior? Or even a simulacrum of such?
Connor blinked down at the open page, realizing he’d become distracted. For now, his primary focus needed to remain on cataloguing the contents of the notebook. He had just enough bandwidth to run the start of a codification analysis in the background, but nothing more.
Save for a few dozen interspersed blank pages, the notebook was all but overflowing with writings, drawings, and pasted in cutouts. While Connor could not yet parse the meaning of what he found on each page, the cutouts appeared to be primarily sourced from print books. The writings and drawings were produced with precision only an android could replicate, all in ink from a pen so common that several of the same model could be found strewn across the Lieutenant's desk. Other than those belonging to Detective Collins, there were no fingerprints anywhere within the notebook.
There were, however, traces of evaporated thirium splattered and smudged across several pages. Primarily those with handwritten—
Connor’s focus broke. Shattered, violently.
The notebook had been ripped from his grasp.
“—talking to you, dipshit!”
#short and sweet today! this wraps up chapter 7 💪#this chapter was honestly one of the hardest things to write as part of this rewrite - both in pacing and forging new ground#it's the first major scene that's original to the rewrite so i didn't have a cheat sheet to go off of haha#but i'm honestly pretty happy with it. i feel like i captured Connor's analytical internal world pretty well#especially since he's trying really hard in this chapter to distance himself from emotions and anything deviancy-adjacent#he's very--for lack of a better phrase--shut down after the confrontation in chapter 6#really hoping i can pick up my writing speed again in the coming weeks but we'll see#i gotta survive going back to work after 3wks of leave first lmao#System Breach Sunday#System Breach rewrite#dbh#dbh fic#my fic#detroit become human#detroit become human connor#connor rk800#dbh connor#system breach saturday
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hmmm
#this is just a vent#but i’m supposed to be logging this stuff so it’s going on tumblr before i can get the journal out#checking to see which libraries this book is at and realizing that not every branch in#the system was open sundays#so grateful all the branches in affluent areas got mandatory days off while alll our worst incidents happened saturday and sunday#i’ve only been in new therapy for two weeks now but finally unpacking the work trauma just makes me so#frustrated???#angry??#nothing was fair to anyone#how were we supposed to help anyone in conditions like this#just every day something new and never getting to breathe#meanwhile branch by an apple store with 4 book clubs gets a nice sunday at home when they know no one is#sleeping on the sidewalk outside waiting to come in#i know Getting Through This is going to get worse before it gets better but i just get so angry sometimes#anyhow#have to wait til monday to pick up the raven boys#that’s okay#flynn.txt
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@ monsta x i miss u
#mädch rambles#when monsta x is active kpop is saved like i miss them so much this is driving me crazy#when we get a cb jooheon better be all up in it AND hyungwon AND kyun#need some aoty type music asap#joo already said they want to attend MAMA next year like please sir make that a reality ;_____;#i also just want to start making content again like i've realized that i'm not active much bc yes im multi but the reality is that#new groups are younger and younger and that's totally fine like kpop isnt all mature but ya know i'm like 26 and all my groups that i've#grown and love are either in the military LOL or have not been active in a while so IM JUST CRAVING SOME CONTENT#:')#anyways i hope everyone is having a lovely day! i've had a long week at work but today is my off day before i'm on call tomorrow for 24 hrs#hopefully i don't get called into work :') praying that these surgeons actually want to spend time w their families instead of doing surger#lollll
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Everyone at work all the time: it’s almost the Christmas concert! How exciting! Tis the season!!! Are you so excited Ms. Music Teacher!?
Me, experiencing a top contender for the worst week of my life: haha yay
#my grandmother has been in the hospital and is being moved to home hospice care tomorrow#which historically they don’t do for people they think will be getting better#and the whole week I’ve been at work fighting with children over not acting like dickheads while on stage#when all I want to do is curl up and cry or scream#so I’ve been an asshole to children for sure this week#and frankly I hate Christmas concert season#but now concert prep is the one thing that has kept me from running home to see my grandmother#so I’m tolerating it worse than usual for sure#and it’s my first year at a new school this is parents’ first main impression of me#oh also I have to miss my sister getting her masters degree because of the concert too so#no I’m not so excited#but I’ll certainly not be saying that to my students#my students hear how excited I am to hear their hard work pay off and also if you wear green we’ll be matching cause I’m wearing green too!#I’m trying my best to be a good Ms music teacher but man it is not my best state
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This week has been so long and hard. I knew what I signed up for at my new job, I just don't remember being so tired all the time from it.
#rant#personal#my sleep schedule is off too since I'm used to a 720 start time but now I start at 930 and I still wake up at like 630 every day#I just need to adjust my sleep by like 2 hours so I'm not nodding off so early#but I also blame how exhausting this new position is and that I'm going to school 2 times a week till 9ish right after work#even at my old job I would stay up late since I like to so I thought it would be a better time for me but so far it hasn't but hopefully#it will be in the future#Its not like I havent encountered the behaviors and stuff before its just very intense with a child I'm with so much and how many times#I've had to remove them from situations since they started to get violent (multiple times a day)#good thing the kid likes me and he's talking to me Ive had so many convos with social workers phycologists the partents teachers but still#anyway if I feel like this still by December I might have to find a different job while I go to school#its not like the school I work for isn't helping me its more that its a hard job and I'm tired
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