#Imagine not being entrusted with the counts person information | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inhonoredglory · 3 years

Text

Run Away from Me: A Levi Meta

The core of this meta is to show that, IMHO, Levi’s violence against Historia in Chapter 56 is his emotional fallout from the torture of Sannes, as well as his own guilt at the person he had become. Coming from having only watched the anime, I personally found this placement in the manga of the Historia scene right after both the torture sequence and the Reeves Company alliance as incredibly meaningful, especially for Levi’s character and his emotional journey.

Levi is an immensely compassionate person, someone who wants to aspire to the “unimaginably altruistic” life of Erwin Smith (Isayama, SNK Encyclopedia). So how would this torture he had to inflict affect him? Because imagine for a second: This is the man who was the only one to truly react with horror and sadness at the knowledge that they’d been killing human beings all this time when they fought Titans. This is the man who went out of his way to ally with the Reeves Company in order to answer the Trost townspeople’s woes:

In Chapter 53, Levi is confronted with blatantly disrespectful Trost merchants who think the Survey Corps haven’t done enough to save their town. It’s the everyday things that burden these people—taxes, thieves, putting food on the table. Levi doesn’t once shoot back at them for their criticism. Instead, he listens. And then he spots a woman at the side of a merchant’s stall. She’s holding a baby and her eyes burn into Levi’s. She holds his attention while above him, the merchants continue their tirade. I think Levi’s thinking of his mother here: like this woman, she was a single parent raising a child in a city that is not unlike Trost now, a town abandoned and forgotten by society, poor and struggling. That child reminds Levi of himself, and this time, Levi can do something about it.

This is why Levi goes out of his way to ally with the Reeves Company. Levi and Dimo share a long, deep conversation, demonstrating that Levi’s alliance with them is more personal than merely the company’s strategic value. Dimo Reeves called Levi an “awkward yet kind man.” He goes on the say that Levi will “protect us and the barely-alive District of Trost, even though he doesn’t really have to.” This is Levi answering that townsperson’s accusation that “you in the Survey Corps aren’t working hard enough.” Levi entrusts to the Reeves Company the responsibility to bring the town out of poverty in the new world the SC will create. That’s his compassion, that’s his care, that’s his humility. That’s how he values the lives of people, not just by defeating Titans, but valuing their livelihoods. “A man like that must have come from absolutely nothing,” concludes Dimo.

This is the same Levi we find torturing Sannes.

In Chapter 55, the torture of Sannes happens because of the horrors Hange saw inflicted on Minister Nick. It is Hange’s passion for avenging Nick that drives the torture sequence, their anger at the tortures that had happened under the MP’s First Squad that motivates the payback inflicted by Hange and Levi. Levi’s violence is done, not out of his own desire, but primarily Hange’s. This is not to say that Levi was guiltless or without responsibility for Sannes’s torture; on the contrary, his actions weigh heavily on him, as will be discussed. But it’s interesting to note that out of all the tortures they did, breaking Sannes’ nose was the only retribution all Levi’s own (in reaction to Sannes’ justification of a series of horrific things the MPs had committed).

I also find it relevant that after everything they had done to Sannes, Levi was still visibly shocked at Hange’s overreaction to Sannes’ hesitation to answer their first real question. Because in Levi’s mind, everything they had done up to that point wasn’t torture—in one sense. It was instead a like-for-like payback for the horrors Sannes had inflicted on Nick. Note that it was Levi who had to pull Hange out of the emotional distraction of Nick’s death in Chapter 52, the same emotional distraction that drives Hange to overzealous violence here.

There’s an interesting parallel in what happens next with what Levi had gone through with Annie earlier. Levi threatened Annie with torture of her real body and said he enjoyed intimidating her as she was bound and trapped. Sannes confessed that for him, he enjoyed violence and tormenting the helpless—so why should he complain if these torturers, Hange and Levi, are the same as him? It’s a subtle parallel, but it’s a relevant theme in SNK that everyone, on all sides, are devils and monsters. Or as Sannes says later, “The world will always have people like us.” People who are violent, people who are lunatics, people who condemn themselves and get their hands dirty for the sake of some higher “good.” Sannes’ accusation isn’t lost on Levi, because this is the same Levi who looked at a struggling mother in a forsaken city and did something about it.

Justified violence is still violence. So what if Annie deserved to have her limbs cut off, time and time again, without relief of death? So what if Sannes deserves to have his fingernails torn off, one by one, without even a question put to him? They had, after all, inflicted death and untold horrors on innocent people. But does justice look like this? Does the name of justice absolve your hands from actions this ugly?

Morality is complicated. And Levi is the first to tell you that he doesn’t know how to slice it. “I’m not telling you what’s right or wrong. I certainly don’t know what is” (Chapter 59).

So now in Chapter 56, we come to the scene with Historia, right on the heels of that torture. The first red flag for me went up when Levi realizes he has “forgotten” to tell his squad about Historia’s true bloodline. It’s not that he didn’t intend to tell them, it’s not that he was not supposed to tell them. (Unlike, say, the entire Female Titan arc.) He forgot, and he’s clearly embarrassed when they confront him. Why? Because he’s not supposed to lose focus like that. But he did, because that information came from Sannes, and after that horrendous experience, Levi, like Hange before him, was emotionally distracted. That’s the only reason I can figure for Isayama focusing on Levi’s oversight like this, and showing Levi in such an obviously emotionally awkward place.

Hange isn’t here to translate for Levi, like she did when Levi berated Eren for being unable to harden during the experiments in Chapter 53. Levi takes the scenic, colorful route when explaining his feelings. To Eren, he admitted that his criticism wasn’t about blaming Eren for being unable to harden, stating that “going over our shortcomings and bitching about our situation is an important ritual.”

In this light, we can read Levi’s words and actions with Historia as a complicated picture of his psychological landscape. Notice how just prior to this scene, we saw Hange act out the aftermath of the torture by kicking the table. Levi too reacts, taking it out on Historia.

Imagine where Levi is right now. He’s taken on the role of Sannes in this new world—the executioner, the ultimate killer, Humanity’s Strongest. “Your hands are already dirty. You can’t go back to the way you were,” Levi tells Armin later, but it’s also what he believes about himself. All that idealism that brought him into the Survey Corps—a life bigger than being a thug in the underworld. Did all that idealism bring him here, to do this? He has to make it worth it, he has to make it count for something. It’s what he does every day when his soldiers die under him—he’s been there to make their deaths worthwhile. But who’s there to make the deaths and terrors he’s dealt out worthwhile for him?

Levi’s expression in the last panel is angry, yes, but also wracked with pain.

So when Historia says she’s unfit for the role of Queen, when she says she can’t be Queen because she’s not good enough, Levi snaps. “Then run,” he said, grabbing her. “Run away from us as fast as you can. Because we’re going to do anything and everything to make you do what we want.” Levi’s eyes are downcast, not looking at her, because what he’s saying is more about him than it is about her.

Because he knows he’s dark enough to follow those orders to do the worst things to a human being to make the entire world a better place. He knows it’s in his bones to commit these atrocities. He is afraid of what he found he’s capable of. He’s already come to terms with killing humans as Titans. He’s come to terms with torturing humans as humans. He knows he can and will do horrible, unforgivable things. That’s his strength, that’s what makes him valuable, useful, important. He’s not like other people—“I’m abnormal… probably because I’ve seen far too many abnormal things.” But he’s ready to condemn himself, to make his hands dirty for the sake of others. He’s decided he has to go full through with the darkness he’s committed, because how else can he justify what he’s done? “I’m fine playing the role of the lunatic who kills people like that. I have to be ready to rearrange some faces. Because I choose the hell of humans killing each other over the hell of being eaten. At least that way… all of humanity doesn’t have to be damned.” His are the hands that will be stained with blood, his is the conscience that will be stained, his is the soul that will sink to hell—all so that others’ innocence can be spared.

The 104th look at him like he’s gone mad, abusing a young, helpless girl like that. But they haven’t seen what he had to do. They haven’t seen how bloody his hands have gotten. His violence here is a desperate reaction to get someone to save him. He’s always been able to avenge the deaths of his soldiers. But this time, he is the one in need of redemption. He could not justify his violence completely, he could only plea for her to make them unnecessary in the future. By becoming Queen, it means he won’t have to keep torturing, keep killing, keep shedding human blood. Her becoming Queen means a peaceful transition of power. Her becoming Queen means he won’t have to pave the path to a new government with more blood and more guilt, at least, not more than he has to. He’s enslaved to doing what his strength allows him to do. He’s begging her to not let people ask that of him.

213 notes · View notes

ac3id · 4 years

Text

Hawk’s eye| 18+

pairings: hawks [keigo tamaki] x female! reader

summary: hawks is in his rut, desperate for some relief. his annoying secretary won’t stop irritating him so he decides to take his pent up frustrations on her. ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

anonymous said:

hi!! so while the requests are still open, could you write some headcannons for Hawks x reader when he's in rut? maybe the reader is a bit clueless and doesn't even know he goes through stuff like that? dirty details are welcome 👀❤️

this was high-key inspired by @tainted-wine‘s this fic. (i hope u like my take on it !! 💓)

a/n: aaaa this took so much longer than i thought it would take 😭, also thanks @the-grimm-writer for proof reading this! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) also this is porn w plot so if u just was to skip to da porn. skip to this ‘◌’ bhai

ALSO THANKYOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS LMAO WTF FOR REAL 😭

tagging: @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa, @koiibito, @reinawritesbnha, @shorkbrian

warnings: noncon, hate fucking, one slap, she bites his dick at some point, scumbag hawks.

word count: 5862

navigation

The sound of your phone buzzing on the side table with a loud, irritating noise jolts you awake. You roll around on the bed, your fingers reaching to turn the vibrating device off. Groaning, you sit up straight. The warm mattress under you threatens to lull you back to sleep but you shove the thought away instead choosing to stretch your arms over your head and yawn endlessly. You were tired, so goddamn tired. Rubbing your temples lazily you start thinking about the dreadful day you have ahead of yourself. You think about your boss: Hawks, the man who makes you hate your life and job. He has trapped you into a never-ending nightmare which starts the second you open your eyes till the moment you fall asleep and even then he still manages to haunt you in your dreams.

Cleaning up after his messes, obeying his ever so pliantly. He has turned you into his little pet slave. He says that it’s your job as you are his assistant, his little helper there to make his job a little less hectic. You must listen to his needs and wants and to some degree, you do agree with him: it is your job, it’s what you signed up for after all but you can also sense him misusing his title when he is with you. He never listens to your suggestions which results in him calling you late after work hours to help with his problems knowing damn well you had already warned him beforehand. And, oh his flirty, suggestive comments which borderline sexual harassment. Hawks is a difficult man to work with and you often find yourself wondering how much calmer your life would be if you never worked for him but you do not have that luxury of leaving the job. It pays ridiculously well and you have bills to pay, your family to support. No, you cannot afford to lose this job. So you sit through his torment and hope for the best.

Seconds later after you have gathered your will to live you start scrolling through your phone, skimming through the morning news lazily. Your eyebrows furrow and eyes turn into angry slits as you glance upon a displeasing, astonishing article.

‘No. 2 Hero Hawks spotted partying with strippers–’

Your heart stops for a moment.

What the fuck was this?

You hesitantly read through the article, your heartbeat increasing every second that your eyes focus on the led screen, reading the details of the damned article. Eyes widening as panic settles in your nerves, you realize the gravity of the situation you had found yourself under as Hawks’ manager. Hawks had been spotted partying with strippers in a nightclub with a bunch of celebrities. The crazy stalker who had managed to follow him succeeded in capturing exclusive pictures of Hawks dressed in an expensive suit, his hair styled to perfection dancing under the dim lights of the club with women in basically their underwear shamelessly grinding upon him. You honestly couldn’t have given a single fuck about what Hawks did in his free time but since he had managed to get a paparazzi to tail him and now that his career was at risk; it became your problem. Your first and foremost instinct was to call Hawks and ask him what the hell he was thinking. Not being careful enough, he had managed to taint his entire reputation. The people of Japan now probably viewed him as a reckless party animal rather than the No. 2 Hero!

Before you could call him, your phone’s screen lights up illuminating a contact you dread. ‘Hero Commission’ it’s written in bold letters, your face drops. Your fingers shake, filled with anxiety as you accept the call. Inhaling and exhaling, you try to calm your nerves. If it is a call from the Commission, you know it’s bad. Bad.

You pick up the phone and instantly regret it, “What were you doing?” an angry, masculine voice snarls through the screen. You open your mouth to answer but are not given a chance too. “How did you let him go to a strip club during patrol hours?” you bite your lip thinking of an acceptable excuse, “He had to go there for work! It’s a misunderstanding. He went down to the strip club undercover to meet up with a crook to get some intel– that’s what he told me. This is a misunderstanding, I–” your explanation was cut short as the person on the other end of the call deemed it enough. “Whatever it is, fix it and never let this happen again.” he sneers a warning before cutting the call. It wasn’t a complete lie, Hawks did tell you that he was investigating a case on his own and that he would be gaining information from shady people but you did not expect him to go to a strip club out of all places. The worst part: he never even told you in detail anything about this case neither did he notice the paparazzi tailing his back. You sigh in frustration, rubbing your forehead, you quickly ring up his number only for it be sent right to voicemail. You almost scream. Where the fuck was this bastard?

Managing Hawks was not a walk in the park. The hero commission had sent you down especially to be Hawks’ secretary. You had a reputation: you were known to be responsible, diligent, and punctual. You were one of their best, entrusted with the responsibility to manage Hawks and you did a good job but it was Hawks who just made the job so hard.

Creating problems he could never solve by himself; on lucky days you would get a call from him at three in the morning, him begging you to come to help him. You want to say no, deny him any help. Let him suffer by himself but you cannot do that. If he screws up and you are not there to fix it. You lose your job, you can’t afford that. You give your 100%, you do but it’s Hawks. He has a problem with you, well, he has a problem with everyone in the commission but projects it mainly at you. He does not respect you.

He chooses to ignore your decisions and suggestions, diminishing them with a cruel chuckle, “Look, I need you but just not now.” He would say with an apologetic smile, “just let me work at my own pace, I will call when I will need you. After all, I love seeing your cute face.” You would always have to force yourself from not slapping his smug face before he took off into the bright, blue sky.

The truth untold, it wasn’t his fault completely either. He was just so fast. It was hard for anyone to keep up with him and since he did his job right; bringing peace to the nation you could not deem him worthless. But it still was a bother at times like this when you were left completely in the dark while Hawks ruined his hard-earned reputation.

You got into the building earlier that morning to wait for Hawks in his office, you needed to talk to him. This was not his first mishap. Not long ago, another article about him shamelessly flirting with a fan had been published. It had said the fan was visibly uncomfortable with him but Hawks didn’t seem to care, he kept presting. You had managed to cover it up as the two being close friends who were publicly joking around, there was no real harm done. It was a lie though, you had to pay the fan a large check to keep her mouth shut. She accepted the money and the story was lost and forgotten but you had no idea how you were going to cover this hell up.

The clock struck nine as the day began, people rushing into the building all tensed but there was no sign of Hawks. You tried calling him on his number but the call directed to voicemail yet again. You were growing impatient, did something happen to him? Sure Hawks fucked things over sometimes but he never disappeared like this. It got you genuinely worried. Something horrible could have happened to him. After all, he was on a case.

You waited for another thirty minutes and there was yet no sign of him. His sidekicks came knocking on his office door only to be surprised to see you there instead of their boss. You told them to continue with their day and not worry about Hawks, he was just awfully late. Not a big deal, he will be here soon. Soon.

Another hour passed by, no sign of Hawks and about now your phone was blowing up with angry calls from his sponsors and business partners, screaming at the top of their lungs frowning upon the scandal. Heck, even Endeavor called you after he couldn’t reach Hawks himself. The call made you nervous as anxiety crept in yet again. Hawks wasn’t answering to Endeavour something bad must have happened. Getting tired of the wait, you make up your mind to drop by his penthouse and to go see him for yourself. His silence was driving you crazy and worried at the same time, you just hoped he would be there well and safe. You could not imagine the ruckus that would create if something were to happen to him.

You walked out of his office after waiting for an hour. Rushing down to the basement you got into your car and before driving away to his house. Just before leaving, you decided to test your luck by calling him. Hoping, praying he would answer this time and luckily he did .

“Hawks!” you cried, a wave of relief washing over you, “Where are you? What are you doing?” you began pestering him with questions, not letting him answer even once. Hawks, tired of waiting, interrupted your monologue of questions with a chuckle. “Aw, you’re worried about me, baby?” his tone was low and mischievous, the sentence slurring almost into a moan at the last word. You rolled your eyes and clenched your fists in irritation, you weren’t new to his teasing. Hawks thought it was appropriate for him to casually flirt with his secretary. Send unasked comments about your figure, perverted implications about what he would do to a ‘cute little thing like you’ which made you very uncomfortable being around him at times. But it wasn’t that what made him get on your last nerves. It was the fact that he could even think about joking at a time like this which made you furious.

You screamed into the phone, giving him a piece of your mind. Degrading him for not taking care of himself, complaining about how he had managed to put you in such a tight spot.

“Once again I am asking, where the fuck are you. Hawks?” you ended your speech with spite in your words. Hawks sighed, “I am in the office,” he says your name with an edge in his voice, instantly shutting you down, “Where the hell are you?” The smugness in his tone remains and you can tell he is smirking on the other side of the screen as if he’s won. You hang up abruptly before walking out of your car and into the building, hurriedly making your way towards Hawk’s office.

You slam the door open glaring upon hawks as he sits behind his table. Dirty boots resting pliantly on the shiny, polished wood. His wings out, stretched to their fullest, filling up the room standing on high alert. They have a deeper hue to them, they look darker– a darker red. How did that happen? You find yourself wondering. Is he on drugs? His face is tilted upwards, facing the ceiling. Eyes screwed shut. They open as he hears you enter and walk towards him, his wings falling back behind him calm and collected.

“You’re late,” he says with a smirk, you bang your fist on the table beside where his feet rest, making him flinch and bring them down instinctively. His eyes widened in shock, he was not expecting you to be this furious. Sure, he knew he knew he had gotten you mad but he was not expecting you to be this angry. Without any hesitation, you start scolding him again. He watches you ramble in ominous glee. A poker face masking his expression, he watches you trot about how much trouble he is in. His job is to protect meek and weak citizens who cannot fight for themselves, what he was doing in a strip in the name of business is something you cannot grasp your head around. You repeat your lecture which you had already tortured him over the phone while the entire time Hawks drums his fingers underneath the table, waiting for you to get over with your dumb speech. His eyes trail on your lips, watching it move. Plump, pillow-like features tinted dark red ramble on about how much of an irresponsible person he was. Complaining about how much trouble he puts you through daily. Honestly, he doesn’t quite catch what you were saying. His mind busy imaging you shutting the fuck and letting him get through the day– or better yet how pathetic you would look underneath him while he shoves his dick down your throat. The thought makes his cock throb. His eyes change from an unbothered, bored look to something sinister as they start trailing all over your body. His eyebrows slightly furrow as he catches up on the few degrading terms you throw at him.

You talked too much. Way too much, do you realize how much better you would look if you keep your pretty, little mouth shut? The entire time, it’s always: Hawks don’t do this, Hawks don’t do that. Don’t you ever get tired? He wonders whether your dumb little brain had any thoughts other than the ones which tell you to irritate him all the time. You should shut up, really stop talking. He might do something bad, he’s already stressed enough as it is being in his rut and having no way to relieve himself, he is going through a rough time here. The other night he escaped to a strip club in hopes of relieving some stress and it had worked but it had also brought along a mind splitting scandal.

The entire morning, Hawks was busy avoiding people. Whether it be his fans, reporters, or even someone he knew; he paid no mind to them trying to get to the office as soon as possible to deal with the mess he had created.

It wasn’t his fault entirely, he was in his rut and needed sexual relief which he was finding very hard to receive. With his work piling up and you breathing down his neck, he couldn’t even take represents as they slowed him down. He couldn’t risk falling asleep on duty. A stupid, little headline about what he does in his free time was much more favorable than a failed mission in which he would let countless innocent lives slip by his fingers.

He watches you ramble, his eyes trailing over your body locking on your tits. He stares at them intensely, watching them bounce slowly every time you huff out of irritation and frustration. Your work shirt works him favors, the white almost translucent material shows off the slightest shadow of your black, lacy bra. It’s enough to get him going- imaging how your soft mounds would feel in his hands. How you would whimper under his touch as he tugs and pulls on your perky nipples, you probably wouldn’t sound as monstrous as you do right now. Your moans would be girlish, small whimpers would leave your lips as you would try your best to cover them up. You would try to hide your face under his assault but he wouldn’t let you, pinning you down instead and forcing himself on you while you cried for him to stop. Beg for his mercy.

He can feel his jeans tighten.

“So please, Hawks. Just be a little more responsible.” you finish, your voice turning into a plea. He hums and apologizes for his impulsive thinking, like always, he is not sorry. “Let's fix this mess, what do you say?” he asks with an apologetic grin, trying to be polite. You on the other hand don’t even spare him a glance, walking right out the door instead. It leaves him very offended.

◌

“Ah! What a troublesome day it was,” Hawks chimes in walking into his office with you closely following behind, “It was all your fault.” you spit making hawks chuckle, “Whatever happens, happens for the good.” he says, a scoff leaves your lips, “What was good about that?” you ask annoyed. “I get to have you alone with me now~” Hawks winks at you making you roll your eyes dramatically. Both of you stand together in Hawks’ office after hours. The day is done, everyone in the agency building has taken their leave excluding the two of you. It had been a long day fixing up after Hawks. You were tired and all you wanted was a warm bath and some sleep.

“Do you want to know why it happened?” Hawks asks out of the blue, “What happened?” you question, “Why was I at the strip club?” you sigh, “I don’t give two shits about your personal life, Hawks.” replying sternly. A look of disappointment arises on his face, “It’s actually more than that, really, I u-uh have this condition- it gets very hard to work during these times-”

“What are you even talking about?” You interject confused and clueless. You turn to him, a glare evident on your face you stare at him sheepishly. What was he on about now?

“I am serious, I went into my rut, and that's why I went to the strip club-” “Into a what?” Hawks’ eyes widened, were you really that clueless? “A rut, [y/n],” he says like it is a matter of fact, something everybody is aware of. “A rut. You know like how some animals go into heat and they-” your face scrunches as he explains his rut to you, you visibly grow more and more repulsed. Hawks studies you face, his heart genuinely breaking at your expressions. “Why are you telling me this?” you screech, “jeez Hawks, I did not need to know any of that!” you continue.

Hawks is hurt, he accepted a reaction which showed more concern. Maybe he went a bit too far imagining that you would offer him help but seeing you so disgusted by him shattered his heart and made him lose all his respect for you. You were a terrible human being, no different from those villains he put behind the bars every day. “I am telling you all of this because- this actually happens! Many- fuck- millions of people like me actually suffer from this shit! You should be a little more emphatic.” he reasons. He accepts you to understand at least now but you gloriously manage to disappoint him yet again. A rude snarl leaves your lips followed by a scoff, “What are you really trying to tell me Hawks? That you don’t want to do your job and to justify your laziness; you are making lame excuses now?” you shove a finger to his chest, it pushes him off the edge.

Something in his snaps, he looks down where your fingertip touches his chest. You are smaller than him, he’s at least a foot bigger than you. Where does your bratty, puny self get all this confidence from? His eyes darken as something sinister floats within him. He stares down at your finger, wanting to rip it off. He wants to see you cry. He wants to see you in pain and misery, suffering a great deal while nobody comes to help you.

“Hawks, you know what? I am so done with your bullshit. I am leaving.” You turn away from him, heading to the door but before you could move a step. Hawks grabs you by writs, caging your delicate hand into a bone-crushing death grip, “What the fuck?” you question, “Hawks?” you continue. You wait for his response, turning to him. He is facing the floor, his hair scanning over his eyes making it impossible for you to read his expression, not that you could read what was going on with him normally but now; it’s even harder. “Are you going to let go?” you ask again only to be met by him squeezing your wrists even tighter. You bring your other hand over him to pry yourself free from his clutches but he doesn’t want to let go.

“Hawks wha-” you don’t get to complete your statement as Hawks pushes you down on the floor making you fall on your butt. You let out a loud hiss. You frown, yelling out “What is wrong with you!?” You try to stand back up but his hands settle on your shoulder pushing you back down. You try fighting but it’s to no use. Did you forget he is the no. 2 Pro- Hero? He is much stronger than you, he brings down villains twice his size daily. What makes you think your weak kicks and punches will be enough to beat him?

You keep struggling under him, screaming how you were going to report him and ruin his career, how he is going to be sorry for messing with you.

“Shut. Up.” he finally speaks, he brings his gloved hand to your perfectly styled hair. Pulling tightly on your roots he stretches your face upwards, making it easier for him to look down on you while you cry in agony, “Stop crying.'' His voice is deep and raspy, much different from how he usually talks. You look up at him, fear swimming in your eyes as tears prick at the corners of your sockets, lips trembling. If you already weren’t terrified enough, your horror becomes tenth fold when you see his boner raging in his pants, “Come, on. Hawks..” your voice is small and weak, it's a broken cry. You know what he is going to make you do. He was going to violate you, break you beyond repair.

This was so wrong. As much you hated Hawks, you never would have thought he would do something like this. Hawks was a hero. He is meant to fight for justice, punish evil. Why is he doing this? “Hawks no. Please. Was it something I said? I take it back I didn’t mean it-”

“You know, y/n, you are not so different from those villains yourself,” if looks could kill, you would be dead. The pure, anger, and hatred he looks at you with bothers you. It makes you hate yourself, there is something sinister in his eyes which makes you sure about the fact that he is not afraid of hurting you. He has given up on you, after all, his polite gestures, generosity you always ignored- he’s fed up with your sheer ignorance and your ego. He hates you. He does and heck if he wasn’t in his rut; he would never bring his dick anywhere near you. He does not respect you as a human and in no way does he have any romantical attachment to you. All he ever saw was a walking alarm clock, bugging him every second, and now all he is going to see you as is his cocksleeve whom he can stuff his fat cock into whenever and however he seems fine. To him you are just a walking hole he can ruin whenever he wants to, you have managed to get on his bad side and he is going to show you his bad side.

He undoes his belt, his pants falling to his thighs displaying his expensive boxers and his growing hardness. His cock is throbbing within its confines, fighting desperately to come free. His free hand pulls his boxers down and his cock springs free, hitting his abdomen. It stands long and hard, the tip blushed red and angry, tiniest bit of pre-cum spilling sweetly from his slit. He pumps his cock in his hand before forcing it against your mouth, pressing it to your lips smearing his pre all over your lips. You whimper in protest, moving your head the littlest you can under his tight grip. “Bitch open up. You had this coming for a long time,” his dick slaps your cheek while his fingers try to pry open your mouth. Pushing his gloved digits forcefully into your mouth, the rough fabric feels disgusting on your tongue. His fingers capture the lower part of your jaw, tearing your mouth apart with deranged strength. A loud cry escapes from you as he stuffs your empty mouth full of his cock, “Yeah, that’s more like it. Fuck.” he bottoms out into your throat, his shaft hitting the back of your throat making you gag, “get on with it. A slut like you would have the experience, right?” he taunts you. You do as he says, puckering your lips firmly around his length, your hands resting on his exposed thighs while you stroke him with your tongue. You feel his chiseled thigh muscles flex under your fingers as he melts in pleasure, tiny moans leaving his lips shamelessly.

As Hawks drowns in overwhelming pleasure, a criminal idea crosses your mind. Your eyes trail up to his face. His eyes are screwed close, he bites his lower lip softly. Carefully and slowly, you graze your teeth over his cock. Clamping down on it lightly, you hold your position. Your heart beats faster when Hawks stiffens and in a quick flash, he pushes you off his cock throwing you into the ground before backing up, squealing in pain.

“YOU LITTLE BITCH!” he screams, you sprint to the door. Trembling fingers try to unlock the doorknob while Hawks cries in agony behind you. You can feel him loom behind you, ready to come for your neck. A part of you tells you that you will not make it but the adrenaline rushing in your veins calls to be hopeful. Just open the door and just run.

Your cold, quivering fingers almost unlock the heavy wooden door but before you can push it open. Hawks appears right behind you, pushing his body onto your back. You feel his cock poking at your ass, his hand grabs your head pulling you, prying you off the door. You scream and cry trying to break free, grabbing his hand clawing on it to let you free. Hawks chooses to show no mercy as he drags you by your hair to his desk, your scalp hurts from his grip. You can feel tiny strands breakaway. He turns you around and slams your back to his wooden desk, you whimper at the contact. He stands in front of you, pressing his knee between your thighs. His hand reaches out to pull at your collar, forcing you to look at him.

He is livid, eyebrows furrowed with a death glare his jaw clenched, and his eyes darker than you have ever seen before. He looks at you with murderous intent, you think he might as well kill you with his wings flared open. The feathers turning into knives, you beg for your life.

Hawks observes your face. Broken, scared for your life your eyes are glassy, ridden in fear your makeup smeared all over your face. He thinks it's beautiful, he has finally got you begging for mercy, finally thinking of him as the man he is. He appreciates your submission but it does not erase the fact that you just bite oh his dick. You beg for mercy, your voice is small and broken. It comes barely above a whisper, “I am so sorry hawks, please don’t do this.” He doesn’t listen, staring at you head-on with his jaw clenched. He brings his free hand to the air, keeping it steady for a second before bringing it down with a horrendous force. You feel it before it happens; white, hot flashing pain erupts through your cheek stinging you hard. You cry out in agony as your face drops to the other side. The strike was powerful, it left you sore, you can still feel it sting your face. It leaves you swollen, you try to bring your hand up to your face lightly to carcasses you paining cheek but Hawks pushes your face on the wooden desk before you could, trapping your arms behind your back holding it with one hand. “You don’t realize your position, do you? You know what? I was going- planning to be gentle with you. I thought I would at least make you cum but now,” he pulls a feather out his wings preceding to tear open your pencil skirt with the sharp end. The ripped fabric falls to the ground leaving you in your panties and the pantyhose you always wear under your skirts, “There we go. I hope you are a pain slut, otherwise you would really not enjoy this.” he says with a small chuckle before ripping you out of your bottoms, leaving you in your panties completely vulnerable to him. He abandons his gloves, rubbing his fingers on your clothed cunt roughly trying to gather slickness from your dry hole. Pleasure shoots down your body as his digits find your clit, rubbing tight circles on the little pearl, “Does this feel good? You are getting wet.” a smirk scars his face, “Who gets off to being raped?” he says sharply. Your face scrunches up in disgust and embarrassment. A heavy lump forms in your throat and the waterworks that you had been holding off burst open. Big, fat tears roll down your cheeks as you cry for mercy. You didn't know why this was happening to you, for your entire life you had been a nice person: always helpful, sensitive, and kind. At least, that was what you thought yourself to be. Never in a million years could you- or anyone, in fact, could have ever thought that you would be crying pathetically while your boss: a person known to all as a Hero, the truest, most honest person to exist ever would be the one defiling you, tearing you down to nothing just for his pleasure.

“Shut up, you like this.” He snarls at you, so sick of your loud wails he even shoves two fingers inside your mouth plunging them to the back of her throat, “Don’t you dare bite now, slut.” he warns. His fingers stop prodding at your clit when he notices the wet spot forming on your panties, he wastes no time shimming them down to your ankles, whistling when he sees your glistening pussy. You only wail louder pleading him not proceed any further. Hawks turns a blind eye to all your begging, “I should just shove it in, right?” he asks petting his finger over your hole, “but that won’t be fun,” he snickers. You feel his move away from your cunt and move higher. Panic settles, he couldn't be serious, “Hawks. Please no. Please don’t. I don-” finger rims along your asshole, inching to dip in, “What? Don’t want me to fuck your ass?” he spanks your ass hard making you flinch, “Please I’ve never-” you cry out hoping he would understand, “No one’s ever fucked you in the ass before?” you whine at the lewd words which shamelessly fall from his lips, “Guess there’s a first for everything.” he says with a scoff.

His digits bury into your hole, stretching you out in a way you’ve never felt before. The stretch burns, filling a fresh set of tears rolling down your eyes, smudging your mascara and eyeliner You looked like a whore. He keeps hammering his fingers inside you without mercy, a loud whine leaves your lips as you feel a tingle of pleasure from him hitting the right spot. “Do you like that? Too bad, this isn’t for you.” he moves his fingers from you before lining his fat cock to your almost too tiny hole, “How will this fit?” he laughs to himself, pressing his engorged tip in slowly, “Will be a tight fit,” he continues to shove his cock into your hole, his face turns off one to ecstasy as your walls take him inch by inch. You scream in pain, his cock was much bigger than his fingers. It was stretching you out, numbing your mind and soul, you did not know how much more you could take. Salty tears fell from your eyes as Hawks bottomed himself in you, he waited for a moment before starting to thrust into you unforgivingly. Dragging his fat cock out and your walls pulling him right back in. As he kept ramming into you. Slowly, you start to pleasure tingle up your spine as his tip smashed against the right spots. Your cries of pain turn to pleasurable moans. Hawks wastes no time in teasing you, “Look at you moaning like a slut,” he spanks your ass with swift force sending your rear to sting. You feel unbearable pleasure starting to build up in your abdomen, a straining coil wanting to burst which each of Hawks’ strong thrusts yet it is left unfilled as the simulation is not enough to make you cum from all alone. Hawks notices this, the pitiful crying for him to touch your swollen little clit which was begging to be played with. He almost thought he would give it to you, after all, he was a good person. Almost.

Hawks just snicker, his cruel, sadistic laugh echoing in the room, “No, no, no.” he teases, “no matter how much you cry, baby. I am not letting you cum. This is your punishment, you deserve this. You’ve been a bad girl.” Hawks couldn’t formulate how he was able to form complete sentences. The moment he had caught you, he had let himself go feral. Dragging you down like a predator, he finally had you under him. He kept grunting and breathing profanity down your ear along with shameful praises about how well your slutty ass takes him. He is glad he is finally getting his much-deserved relief but he is not done yet. He won’t be done until he is filling your vulnerable womb with his seed, he won’t be done until he hears you asking him to give you his children. He is not going to leave you be until he has destroyed you, balls deep in your tiny pussy. He is going to keep you here all night fucking you, he is going to stay there all night fucking you with hate which he has buried within himself for you over the years. He is going to melt you in his hand, break you until only he can build you up, and maybe he will not let you go even after that. Maybe he will keep you after all hawks mate for life.

Just hope he lets you cum the next time.

1K notes · View notes

edensrose · 3 years

Note

How about a small ff where hoaqin is sad, annoyed and we comfort him with cuddling?

of course! I may have gotten carried away with this but like it really made me soft 😭😭

ৎ୭ — summary : white becomes frustrated throughout the day, his s/I tries to calm him down and comfort him with cuddles

ৎ୭ — type : oneshot

ৎ୭ — genre : fluff

ৎ୭ — warnings : none

ৎ୭ — word count : 987

ৎ୭ — taglist : @spoopy-fish-writes @a-chaotic-dumbass @rurifangirl @shanmie @hirzaeth @neylia18 @samaseo @lvfel @viorice // please fill out this form if you'd like to be added

‘What did he do now?’

Sighing in exasperation, you trek the empty halls of the airship, scanning around for even a glimpse of the familiar white locks. Alas, your target remains hidden.

It had only been around noon when Karaka had approached you, informing you of the sudden drop in your lover’s mood. You pondered over what it could be this time. A debate with Khun? A tiff with Yama? Whatever the case, you were on a hunt for him before he decided to go on an early lunch and devour someone whole.

Being the significant other of the slayer White was never an easy task. Sometimes people even stop to question how you put up with him. He has an ego that rivals the height of the tower, complains about hunger 24/7 and isn’t exactly ‘boyfriend material’ to the common eye.

They don’t know him. Not like you do, at least.

Another sigh fills your ears, yet this time not one of your own. Without a second of hesitance you push the door open - only to immediately be greeted by the sight which almost had a smile tugging to your lips. There, laying on the bed with his arms beneath his pillow, subtly clinging to it and curled up in the slightest was none other than the male in question. He doesn’t look up, not bothering to do so yet shifts in reaction to your presence.

“Now, what’s got you so lost in thought?’’ You question, finding yourself at the edge of the bed in a matter of seconds. The slayer huffs, turning and facing the opposite wall. “Get lost.’’ Ah. So he wants to be like that huh?

You crawl onto the mattress beside him, not touching him for the moment and barely sitting on your knees behind his laying form. “Well, that’s rather rude.’’ Lips pull into a frown as you watch his every move. “Mind telling me what happened?’’ You try yet again.

This time, you receive a click of a tongue as White shuts his eyes. “I said get lost. Do you think of me as some child who constantly needs your supervision?”

Well, that was oddly specific.

With an arch of your brow, you decide to be just as stubborn. Silence settles within the room as you slowly lay down beside him, tracing your fingers to his back - light, delicately. When he makes no motion to shift away, you allow your gentle touch to trail to his hair, twirling his snowy strands.

“. . . Are you going to keep acting like I’m the one who said whatever it is that pissed you off this badly?’’

Once more, not a peep is heard. Not a movement is made. All until he finally decides to stop his stubborn act with the person he entrusted his heart with - and turns to face you. “You really are persistent.’’ He frowns, his brows furrows and causing creases across his porcelain skin. With a sigh, you bring your hand up, easing your thumb over the creases as if to smoothen them out.

“Might I ask what has his majesty in such a foul mood?” With the way you smiled at him, used that name which he favoured too - how could he remain so tense? White relaxes at last, although his frown still remains. “That insufferable slayer candidate.”

So your suspicions were correct, Bam had pissed him off. Seemed like it was the irregulars talent. “Say no more,’’ you murmur, shifting closer and wrapping your arms around his torso. Just as you expected, White flinched in the slightest - yet not as much as he did before. He wasn’t prone to physical affection, so one could imagine just how new the concepts of soft touches and loving embraces were to him. In the beginning of your relationship, he would full-on flinch out of your arms, push you away, sometimes even scold you. Yet now it was a mere wince of surprise.

White remains still as if trying to remember how to react to this. After a few moments, he allows his arm to drape around you - inviting you in closer. He would never admit just how much he enjoyed holding you, not that you needed verbal confirmation of that.

The smile grows on your lips which you then bring to press a kiss to his jaw, just barely teasing the corner of his mouth. “You can continue brooding if you want. I’ll try to ease it out of you.’’ With a giggle you wrap your arms around him a little further, snuggling into his chest and allowing your legs to entangle themselves with his.

White subtly frowns, trying to piece together how a mere simple creature like you could ease his nerves. His expression goes unnoticed - leaving you to shake your head and bring your face closer to his. “I won’t let go until you stop with those frowns,’’ you hum, gaze trailing down to his lips. You give him a peck before your head retreats back down to his shoulder - nuzzling into his coldness.

“Such a strange creature, you are.’’ The slayer murmurs, bringing his chin to your head after he, albeit hesitantly, lays a kiss on your temple. All you can do is laugh. “And yet here you are, cuddling said strange creature.’’

You’re unable to take notice of the relaxation of his features, however, you assume his nerves begin to ease due to the fact that two, strong arms are now wrapped around, bringing you closer. Not a word was said as you did nothing but listen to the beat of his heart, shivering at the feel of icy fingers tracing little patterns on the small of your back.

“A strange creature indeed.’’ He murmurs, shutting his eyes. After all, what creature with half a brain cell would even think of clinging onto the beast of a slayer. You were either wildly naive. . . or dangerously in love.

#tower of god #tog #x reader #reader inserts #white #slayer white #white x reader #tower of god x reader #cuddling #writing #oneshots

37 notes · View notes

alreadyblondenow · 4 years

Text

I’ll never leave again

Yuta x reader // SMUT, ANGST, fluff? Summary: A Japanese transferee added color to your already colorful and perfect life and you both find true love as you help him with his battle against drugs. Word Count: 7k Warnings: MAJOR DRUG USES, wearing, explicit mature themes, mentions of alcohol, blood, hospital, rehab, unprotected sex, mentions of other idols Note: IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE WHEN IT COMES TO DRUGS, PLEASE CLICK AWAY. THANK YOU. this fic is 100% came from my imagination, unlike my other works that are inspired from true events and personal experiences, this fic is 100% made up.

Spaced out and really not in the mood to socialise, you were busy thinking how you’re going to break things off with your boyfriend Jaehyun. The perfect captain of the cheerleading squad and the handsome captain of the basketball team, together and being high school sweethearts is kind of getting old to you. And by getting old you mean you don’t love Jaehyun anymore. Not that he cheated on you or he treated you badly, no Jaehyun’s a great guy. It’s just that maybe he is not what your heart wants anymore.

It’s hard to explain something you cant even understand. You can’t actually pin point when did you start forcing yourself to see Jaehyun and why is this happening. “I can’t just stage a cheating scenario, that’s not me. I think Jaehyun deserves the truth” thats your response when Yeeun suggests to stage a cheating act where Jaehyun will see some random dude in your bed. “He will not buy it. Because he knew I can’t cheat” you added making Yeeun more frustrated.

To finish all your problems regarding breaking up with Jaehyun, you decided to just tell him the truth. He believed everything you said. “I felt it. Your kisses became different” Jaehyun said after you explained your part, you were glad that the breakup was mutual.

Now that you’re on your senior year, you wanted to focus on studying and trying new things. You gave up cheerleading and entrusting the squad to Yeeun. Giving up cheerleading was not a problem even though literally all of your friends are part of the squad, but they understand you. You’re just following your heart. Cheerleading is soon replaced by art, your second passion next to dancing and you couldn’t be more happier.

Everything was going smooth, having good grades, self love, and more art. Although, people in school still see you as this popular cheerleader who used to be with the school star player, you’re having a hard time making new friends. Until you met Nakamoto Yuta. A Japanese transferee who’s always quiet, private and scary because he had a lot of piercings. Not to you of course, you never see him that way. You met at the football field while you were having a quick sketch of the sunset with all your coloring materials just after a long day at school. “You should try using soft pastels, they’re more easier to blend” he said peaking from the back bleacher, you turned around to check who it is.

“I’m Yuta by the way, we have the same art class” he’s a little shy and awkward, but nice enough to introduce himself first. You knew you go to the same art class, actually he is quite an artist. He can be top of the class if only he submits his works.

“Hi, I’m y/n” you smiled at him offering a hand shake but you realised your hand is dirty because of the oil pastel. “We can fist bump instead” you suggest and he let out a small laugh. He looks beautiful under the perfect orange light from the sunset, his skin is unbelievably white and flawless, he looks unreal and you can’t stop staring.

“So...” he snapped out of you, “it’s nice to me you y/n. I hope you take my advice” you nod and waved goodbye as he leaves you alone with your drawing session. Your heart is beating so fast and you don’t know why but one things for sure, you find Yuta attractive. Really attractive.

The next day, you made sure to buy soft pastels and it did made your life easier. You wanted to thanked him but he didn’t come to school for two days. It really is useful to you, it made you work faster and easier, you couldn’t stop drawing and filling your sketchbook with colors.

After three days, he made his appearance again in school and he looked like shit. Maybe he got sick? That’s why he haven’t been showing up. Whatever the reason is, it made you shy to talk to him and tell him all about the things you already create with colors that he recommended. But destiny was being a little too friendly, he caught you again sketching your heart out at the bleachers.

“You work fast” he came out of nowhere again.

“Yes! Actually I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but you seem not well I couldn’t bother you” he smiled at you like there’s nothing wrong, “If you want, I could show you some of mine, a- at home if you want” you noticed he’s being friendly and who are you to refuse.

Yuta brought you to his house, just five streets from your home. Turns out Yuta is rich... and alone, he lives with his Japanese butler, Ruka. “My family is in Japan if you’re wondering” he tells more information about him while you two walk upstairs to his room. The house is simple but it was too spacious, it feels lonely and cold but you kept that thought to yourself. Good thing Yuta’s room is full of colors, different kind of masterpiece are put up on his wall, lots and lots of drawing and coloring materials neatly stacked on his working table, and a beautiful view of the town from his window.

“Uhm, if you need something from my stuff I’ll gladly give it to you” still amazed by what you’re seeing right now, all you want to do is look at all of his works. “Wow - that’s uhm, too much but I’m happy you can introduce me to a lot of art materials” you can’t hide your excitement, everything in his desks looks new to your eyes and you can’t help but ask questions about different materials. ‘What’s this for?’ ‘How do you use this?’

Not to mention you’ve been praising his works for almost half an hour already. He’s happy that you find him as a great artist and that you’re willing to be friends with him, seeing you in his room gives him hope. Ruka knocked at Yuta’s door and invited you to have dinner with them, you didn’t notice it’s already dark and you definitely need to go home already. But you didn’t want to leave Yuta yet, “Sure. I’d love to”

Even the smell of their freshly cooked dinner is new to you, since their both Japanese they only eat Japanese food everyday. “I hope you like Japanese food, I asked him to order takeout but Ruka insists. Told me you should try his cooking” he whispers beside you while Ruka is busy preparing the table. “It’s fine, I don’t get to eat Japanese food always so I don’t mind” you smiled to Yuta, taking away his worries.

The food was delicious, and the dinner table was full of laughter and stories from Ruka. They were both exchanging stories, telling you too much information you don’t need to know, but they tell you anyway. You found out that Yuta plays soccer and he’s a really good player, he’s an impulsive buyer when it comes to his art materials and your favorite information for the night, Yuta has seventeen piercings. The three of you laughed and laughed the whole dinner time while enjoying the delicious Udon and a lot of deep fried seafood.

Later that night Yuta walked you home and endlessly thanked you for spending time with him. “Everything that happened today is so random, but I could get used to this” you said, secretly hoping you could spend some more time with him. “This is my house. I would normally invite you to come in, but its pretty late - which reminds me” your voice and your hands were shaking, pretty sure you’re blushing too. “We have this thing every Friday. Me and my family- uhh, just meet me here at 7?” How brave of you to ask.

If Yuta could only shout and scream from happiness he would, instead he just gave you a nod and a sweet smile before he waved goodbye to you. “See you tomorrow” he shouts before you get inside.

There’s no way of hiding it, you have a crush on Yuta. And you cant ruin this wonderful friendship by being obvious, you told yourself. The next day you made an effort to look cute, “so much for not being obvious” you talk to yourself through the mirror. As you get on with your day, you can’t stop thinking how Yuta is a complete charmer and a really nice guy. Gentleman enough to walk you home in the middle of the night and smiling so sweetly before he leaves.

Yuta on the other hand, has been asking about you to his friends. It’s either they tell him that you’re smart, pretty and popular or they tell him that you are the former captain of the squad. No one told him the things that he single handedly found out about you. In Yuta’s eyes you’re this simple girl that has her life all planned out already. He understood the whole popularity thing because whats not to love about you?

Hiding his excitement, he was pretty early but you told him it’s perfectly fine. Your family adored Yuta, they were all talking nonstop the whole night asking questions about Japan. Which made you worry actually, what if Yuta was hurting and he misses his family or miss Japan in general. Yuta seemed to enjoy everyone’s company, at least that’s what you think and you could only hope that he’s not faking it.

“Sorry, this is the least I can do. The dinner last night was so great, I wanted to invite you over” you brought him to your room so you could have some privacy. Which is not normal. The last guy you brought to your room was Jaehyun, and that happened two years ago.

He was busy looking around your room with an amused smile, looking at the pictures taken from crazy parties, cheerleading competitions, and basically every important event of your life. Yuta let out a small laugh when he saw your cheerleading uniform framed and hanged on your wall.

“What’s so funny about it?” you giggle while you both look at the framed uniform.

“I’ve never seen something like this before, I guess I’m amazed” to be honest he really is amazed that your uniform became something like a trophy that you display around your room. “I bet you look good wearing it” he was smiling while looking at you when he said that. Suddenly the room became hot.

“You should smile more often, your smile is nice” to divert the attention, of course you praised him again.

“If you think my smile is beautiful, you should’ve seen yours” there’s no getting away with that so you just accepted it.

On the following days, you’ve been spending more time with Yuta talking, drawing and getting to know each other more. And the more you spend time with him, your feelings grow and grow. In a matter of weeks, you’re sure you’ve completely fallen in love with him.

He became your friend, in fact your only friend since you left cheerleading. Every friend of yours is either a cheerleader or jock, given that they’re all athletes, they don’t have time for you anymore. That’s why you think Yuta is a life saver.

Not long ago, you discovered about Yuta’s drug addiction. Weed, Meth, Heroin, all kinds. Maybe that’s why sometimes he’s so spaced out and he miss school a lot. “Yuta’s parents sent him here because of his drug addiction, only he can help himself” Ruka explained to you over coffee while Yuta is out doing whatever he’s doing. Even though he has problems, you still stick with him. He’s still a nice guy who loves his art, the same nice guy your family adored. With or without drugs.

One night, you were playing Jenga with him on his bedroom floor with a few bottle of beers and snacks on the side. “I’m going to win, I’m good at this” he totally loves teasing you whenever you two get competitive with each other. “You wish. Okay my turn” you said after drinking your beer in one down, but the Jenga tower fell off and Yuta laughed so hard he has tears on his eyes. He saw your face completely pissed off as you open another beer and building the tower again for another game.

“Who’s Jaehyun?” you were surprised at his question, something a student from your school wouldn’t dare ask because the whole school knows him.

“Oh right, you’re a transferee” he sat up and sat closer to you, legs crossed and both arms are supporting him on the floor “Uhm. He’s my ex. We’ve been together for two years? I think. And then I broke with him, over the summer because I don’t love him anymore - the breakup was mutual, if you’re wondering” He nods, and ready to ask you another question.

“Do you like someone now?” he reached for your hand which made you stop building the tower and intertwined it with his. You wonder why he’s suddenly so bold and confident. You nod, completely speechless.

“Is it me?” Yuta bravely asks, and you nod without hesitation.

He reached for your lips and kissed you gently, cupping your face as his thumb swipes on your cheeks admiring your beauty. Time stopped the moment you touch lips and you feel the happiness in your stomach balls up, ready to explode.

“This is probably wrong”

And suddenly that happiness you felt was replaced by confusion. He pull away from your touch leaving you so confused and still in shock. “What’s so wrong about this?” you asked him while getting him to look you in the eyes, tugging his arm so he wont’s get too far.

“I’m a drug addict y/n. You can’t be with someone like me. Cliché as it sounds but, I’m scared to ruin your life. You’re this perfect person who I happen to meet at football field and you’re just nice enough to welcome me in your life”

He looks frustrated and confused as you are but you knew damn well that meeting him is something you don’t regret. “You don’t get to push me away just because you decided to be honest with your feelings and somehow decided to be a coward afterwards” it wasn’t easy to stay calm but you tried so hard, your grip on his hand was becoming tighter and he noticed it. “I like you! And you make me happy. You’re the one who put color in my life, well literally and figuratively. But my point is, don’t throw us away” you decided to be brave and kissed him again. This time, hungrier and full of need. You sat on his lap and pushed him down slowly all the way to the floor. Hands all over each other, switching positions and rolling on the floor without stopping the kiss.

It was not a surprise for everyone when you went public, they already foresee what’s going on between you two. Your family still adored Yuta just like how they adored him from the first time they met him. The whole popularity problem in school completely changed in a good way because of Yuta. More people from school are talking to you now, they’re not scared or shy to be friends with you anymore because Yuta somehow changed everyone’s perspective. With Yuta you’re this normal person who’s happy to be with his boyfriend.

Happy days are nothing but pure laughter and great memories with Yuta. Movie night with Yuta and Ruka with a bunch of Japanese treats on the side is your new Friday night schedule. And inviting Yuta and Ruka for family dinner during special occasions has been a thing that made Yuta happy. He told you he’s a sucker for spending time with family but his family is in Japan and he can’t go home until he’s clean. That was the night you decided that you will never leave Yuta’s side.

Yuta is this bright color that made your life even more colorful. He is this man, full of surprises and definitely no dull moment. You learned how to take care of him in your own ways without making him feel sorry for himself. Vulnerable, important and ordinary, that’s what he made you feel. And by ordinary, you mean no social pressure from the people around you. Just two normal people who fell in love in a normal way. Sometimes, situations can be a handful but it was never a problem for the both of you. Yes he has drug issues but for you, Yuta deserves to be loved. And no one can stop you from loving him.

Your love for each other grew and grew until you reach being intimate with each other.

It was raining hard and the wind was strong, you decided to stay over at Yuta’s house. Already washed up and fresh, you wait for your boyfriend in his bed as he turned off the lights in his room and replaced it with scented candles.

“You look comfortable there” he giggle as he crawls in bed and sat beside you leaning on his headboard. It’s chilly and cold in Yuta’s room, you cant help but be closer to him. Closer as possible.

“You like that?” You hum and nod with eyes closed to answer him. Surprisingly, he kissed you and your eyes opened only to see Yuta’s handsome face close to yours. The kiss was slow and you were both taking time savouring this quiet memory. It went on like that for some time, until the kiss became wet and needy. He hungrily kissed you bitting and licking your lips. Hands creeping just under your shirt, all the way to your clothed boobs and skilfully unclasps your bra. Gently kneading your right boob and doing a circular motion on your nipple.

“We’ve never gone this far” you said as you catch your breath, and went back to kissing him a little bit slowly this time.

“Do you think its time?” He managed to ask you in between those soft kisses, giving you sweet pecks. You nod excitedly. “Sit between my legs” you followed what he told you, completely clueless on what he’s going to do next.

“Spread your legs wide” it suddenly became hotter as you spread your legs nervously. Your head is resting on his shoulder, back against his chest, heart beating so fast as you wait for his next move. “Yuta, can you kiss me?” your voice cracked but he just smiled, and shook his head. “Not until you remove your shorts and panties” and so you did. Hurriedly removing your thin shorts and laced panties, throwing them on the floor.

The moment his finger had contact with your wet slit you gasp and grabbed his shoulder gripping it tightly as you moan. You feel like this is new to you but it isn’t, of course you’re not a virgin anymore and Jaehyun did a fair share on that. “Yuta- Ah! Baby I’m almost there” with heavy breaths and sharp gasps, you warn him and at the same time stopping yourself from cumming too early.

“Wider” he said so calmly, you followed spreading your legs wider. Fingers drilling a little harder than before and you finally let go. Shivering and catching your breath, eyelids already heavy. He licks your parted mouth as you enjoy your high, filthy but fucking hot. His breath smells like mint.

“You seem so calm the whole time you were finger fucking me” with all the energy left in your body, you went back to laying on his side.

“Yeah well my cock isn’t” he kissed you on the forehead and tells you, “i love you, you sound beautiful the whole time. I was busy listening to you”

You have something on your mind right now that you’re somehow scared to ask because he might refuse, “I have a question” you sat up and sat on his lap. Your legs and pussy are still exposed, and you’re making Yuta’s cock even more hard. “Why did you not ever asked me to have sex with you?”

“Well will you have sex with me baby?” Just like that, straightforward and calm like the Yuta you know. You were both giggling like little kids for some time while waiting for your answer. It’s not that you don’t want to but you were just shy to say your answer out loud.

“You’re shy, aren’t you?” of course he knew you’re being shy. He’s your boyfriend who happens to know everything about you. “Well, I’m horny” he sat up to reach your lips, kissing you gently but enough to prove that he is horny. Slowly his kisses went to your neck, making you moan softly. But you pull away not telling him anything. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking right. Please don’t be mad-“

To his surprise, you removed your shirt and your unclasped bra. Now you’re fully naked on top of your boyfriend, “It’s not fair that I’m the only ones naked here, baby” you grab the end of his shirt and helped him to removed it. “You scared me” he managed to tell you in between hungry kisses, “you’re so in trouble” he added and pushed you on the mattress.

Laughing like a little girl, while Yuta is busy kissing your naked body beneath him. Your head is dangling on the edge of the bed seeing his room upside down. His cock is poking your thigh the moment he’s on top of you naked, and you’re positive that it made you nervous. “Baby, I think your cock wont fit me” your boyfriend was amused by what you just said, “It will” is the only response he said before licking your nipples and sucking them gently. He grabbed your right leg putting it on his shoulder and kneeled in between your legs, lining his cock in your entrance.

Slowly he pushed his cock inside you making you bite your hand and close your eyes to stop yourself from moaning too loud. “See? it fits” Yuta is doing the opposite, he’s groaning with every thrust he give you letting out sounds you didn’t know he can make. Whimpering like a little boy beside your neck, you can hear him clearly. As his pace goes faster you were losing your mind at how good he fucks you for the first time.

“Don’t fucking stop” with heavy breath and gasp, you reached for his neck and encircled your arms around him. Legs spreading wider for him, moans becoming a little bit louder. The bed is shaking you’re sure Ruka can hear you both.

“Y/n, if you don’t stop moaning like that- I swear” his thrust became quicker and sharper leaving you speechless. Your pussy clenched the whole time trying to fight the sensation and trying so hard not to be on edge yet. But it’s a battle you can’t win, Yuta is so good at making you let go. You didn’t say that you were cumming but he can tell because your legs were already shaking and you were grabbing everything you can on bed and gripping it a little too hard. He pulls out and pumped his cock in front of you making his cum land perfectly on your boobs. Just the sight of his cum on your beautiful body, makes him hard again.

You grabbed him with both hands through the neck, and pull him on your chest kissing him a little too harsh. Filthy as it looks but you don’t care. You spread your legs again and put a hand in between the two of you and grabbed his hard cock. Pushing it inside you again, he let you do what you want. In a matter of seconds, he’s inside you again.

“I was disappointed, you didn’t cum inside me” you pout and he thrust again without a single word making your head roll back again, smiling like a fool because you got want you want. Yuta fucked you again, but this time rougher and he get to cum inside you.

“Sorry if I didn’t cum inside you earlier” he kissed your forehead while you calm down from your orgasm. You still can’t talk and you’re still catching your breath, all you can do is smile as you wait for your legs to stop shaking.

And that was the start of having sex with Yuta with every chance you get. Making out in your room that leads to sex before doing homework. Watching the sunset through his window still naked and all over each other. Sex was different with Yuta, it was damn wild and filthy but full of love. Something you never felt before.

Whenever you’re busy working on something in the art room and Yuta needed to fetch you there, you make out with him for some time because he missed you already. Even though anyone can just enter and catch you two, he never cared.

If you’re not allowed to go out on a Friday night, he will sneak up to your room through your open window while you were sleeping and kiss you quietly until you wake up. You love having quiet sex with Yuta in your room because its funny how you two try to stop moaning too loud. On top of that, he needed to stop himself from fucking you too hard and remind him to go slow from time to time.

Your fear of giving him a blowjob because you’re not that confident with it completely changed when one day you were just so hungry for his cock and you went down on your knees and gave him a blowjob for the first time. That’s during lunch and you brought him to the locker room where you and Jaehyun used to make out before practice. To your surprise Yuta came three times in your mouth, for some reason he loved it. From there on he always ask you for a blowjob and you always gladly give him what he wants.

If there are days with him that are nothing but pure happiness, of course there are days that are almost impossible to bare. All you can do is be strong and keep your patience long, remind yourself that you love Yuta no matter what happens. You really don’t know where it all started, or what triggered him to go back on drugs but you noticed he’s been busy and he’s not telling you the whole truth whenever you ask him ‘what’s up?’

After spending six beautiful months together, suddenly Yuta is gone again for days. He’s been missing a lot again and that can only mean he’s out somewhere taking drugs or he’s taking drugs and he’s in trouble. When you came to his house, Ruka was stopping you from entering the house but you insist.

“What is it Ruka?” you know he’s hiding something from you and Yuta is inside. So you shout from the outside, forcing Yuta to come out. He did. Limping and face all beat up. You’re not mad or disappointed, you were simply worried about him. “He got home this morning, and he’s still high from drugs. I don’t think this is a great time y/n.”

You look at each other’s eyes from a far, both hurt but yours is not physical. Broken heart, that’s what pains you. It’s hard to step away from his house, looking in his eyes full of hurt. Deep down you know he wanted to hug your kiss but he can’t because he can’t fucking move and he’s too humiliated.

What you saw today was too much and you needed a breather. It’s good that its Friday, you can be with your friends and somehow divert your mind. “People can get beaten up with a lot of reasons specially when drugs is involved” Johnny says while drinking his beer and playing beer pong with the others. “Don’t think about it too much, he’s going to be okay” Yeeun shouts from another side of the table. All of your friends were supportive with the relationship you have with Yuta even though they know about his drug problems. You spent days being with your friends while Yuta is recovering and there’s not a day where you don’t check up on him.

A week passed already and theres still no sign of Yuta. You can’t just show up in front of his house again, you didn’t want to disturb his recovery. Besides, school works are pilling up you need to focus studying and finishing some of the requirements. Your mind is buried into Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet and you didn’t notice you passed out. When you woke up, you found Yuta beside you all snuggled up and waiting for you to open your eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” you closed your eyes and opened them again, no you’re not dreaming. He smile a little, you figure he’s still in pain. “Are you alright now? How did you get in?” you sat up to check his face and his arm. “I’m alright, I just needed to see you. I can’t take it anymore. I missed you so much” he reached for your hands and kissed your knuckles. He pats the mattress telling you to come lay with him in bed, and you did. Fingers intertwined and bodies close to each other, just how you like it.

“Why do you stay with me? You’re this perfect girl that fell in love with an addict”

For some reason you were scared of how he asked you that question. It almost felt like he’s going to leave you. There was a minute of complete silence before you answer him, “Because thats what you do if u love someone. You don’t give up on them. And just so you know I love you, and Im in love with you”

He chuckled but still careful not to overdo it because of the bruises in his face, “I know. I know that all too well” he placed his hand just above your jaw, and left a kiss on your forehead. “I’m trying to be better for you so I wont have to leave you eventually and go to fucking rehab. I can do this right?” hearing Yuta say that made you realise you were wrong about him wanting to leave you. He doesn’t want to leave, he wanted to be better for you. You kissed him on the lips pouring everything from the past couple of weeks in it. The kiss was wet but it wasn’t because of spit, but because of tears.

After what happened, he tried being clean but he just ends up taking drugs over and over again. There was a time that you caught him taking cocaine in his bathroom and he shut the door with a loud slam and told you to go home. Seeing him do things like that pains you to the core. He never wanted to hurt you like this, he never pushed you away because deep down he wanted to be better and if that happens he wants you to be on his side.

A week before prom, Yuta made sure he’s clean and he promised you he will never ruin prom night for you. As a way of celebrating for being fourteen days clean and spending time with each other, you had sex after a wonderful night spent with Yuta.

“Fuck I missed being inside you” he whispers behind your ear while his fucking you with a steady pace. As always, the way he fucks you can make you lose your mind and smile like a fool while moaning and gasping at the same time. You closed your eyes as you let go of the feeling and cum for the first time tonight, the moment you open your eyes you see Yuta’s eyes closed completely blown by the frenzy on being on edge. And bleeding.

His nose is bleeding uncontrollably.

“Baby- you need to stop” opening his eyes to ask if he hurt you, he saw the blood on your boobs, completely panicking. “Did I do this to you baby- where does it hurt?” you were crying already, not talking to him as you quickly wore your clothes and screamed for help, calling Ruka as loud as you can.

Yuta was completely clueless but his head was spinning and he feels so weak suddenly. “Baby! Don’t close your eyes, you can die- please stay with me” you were practically slapping his face to keep him awake as you help him wear his pants.

Everything happened so fast the moment you see his nose bleeding nonstop. You and Ruka rushed him to the hospital as quickly as you can. You were alone at the waiting lounge as Ruka takes care of everything Yuta needs to stay in the hospital.

All of your friends weren’t picking up because maybe they’re sleeping and tired from practice. But one person picked up and made his way to the hospital and brought you some clothes as soon as he can.

“I’m sorry Jaehyun, I didn’t know anyone else to call. I cant just simply call my family” Jaehyun was holding you close and comforting you as you cry for a whole hour. After changing to clean clothes, Ruka called you in to talk to Yuta. While Jaehyun is hesitating to come with you, “Jae, come on its okay. He’ll be happy to see you”

You were happy to see Yuta completely awake and smiling once you opened the door and entered the room with Jaehyun. You sat beside Yuta and kissed him on the forehead, “the sex was so good, you made me bleed” he joked around making all three of you laugh and you tear up again. “What’s happening to you?” you weren’t sure you wanted to know but you do know it’s nothing good.

“I’m fine baby, no need to worry” of course he will not tell you what’s going on because he didn’t want to make you worry. “Thank you Jaehyun. For being with her” Jaehyun nods at him and pats Yuta’s arm.

Suddenly your excitement for prom is replaced with worries for Yuta’s health. He needs to stay in the hospital for a week, and that covers prom. “We’re still on for prom right?” you were laying with him on the hospital bed as he shower you with kisses. If there’s anything he hates more than anything, that is making you disappointed. “Of course” you kissed him back, making him blush. “Can’t wait to see you crowed, Prom Queen” even though that’s not important to you anymore, you just nod and rolled your eyes on him.

He did got out from the hospital a day before prom, leaving him with only a day to rest. Ruka got him a nice tux that fits him really well, and you on the other hand tried to forget things that happened last week that completely ruined your prom excitement.

After working so hard on your hair and makeup, you finished getting ready just in time for your friends to pick you up. But Yuta is not yet here, when he’s supposed to be here already an hour before your friends arrived. “I think you guys should go, I’ll wait for him a little longer. I’ll see you there, okay?” you wave goodbye to your friends as you wait for Yuta on your porch.

You called Ruka to ask about Yuta, hoping maybe he just got problems with his tux. “Hey, Ruka uhm, is Yuta still there?” his answer broke your heart. The excitement was replaced with worries again, you called Yuta’s phone a hundred times but he never picks up.

A car parked in front of your house, hoping it’s Yuta. But it’s not, it’s Jaehyun. He drove to your house because he was worried, “What’s happening?” he worriedly asked. You were still trying to call Yuta’s phone, still no answer.

“Come one y/n, I’ll take you to prom” Jaehyun offered, but as much as you wanted to accept his offer Yuta’s excitement from the other day, flashed in your mind and you know you can’t go.

“I can’t Jae, thank you and I know you mean nothing but kindness. I’ll wait for Yuta here, he will get hurt if I go without him” Jaehyun didn’t really want to leave you but you made your choice.

The moment Jaehyun left, your tears finally fall. You were crying when your mom gave you a blanket and invited you to go wait for him inside. “I’m fine, thanks for the blanket” you were so hurt to even move. And you’re not hurt because he ditched you to prom, you’re hurt because you can’t reach him and you’re worried for him. A lot of things may have happened to him and that’s what worries you.

A week later, Ruka met you after school and told you that Yuta is finishing high school through home study under your school’s supervision. “He’s still part of the school, I’ll convince him to attend graduation. But,” something bad is about to happen, you thought. “he wanted me tell you that, he’s breaking up with you” and that’s it. You burst into tears after hearing the bad news. It was so hard to breath, hearing those words from Ruka and not directly from Yuta. But you trust Yuta’s decision and maybe it’s for the best. With a heavy heart, you hugged Ruka goodbye and left without another word.

You tried putting up a big smile during graduation and hugging everyone you knew all throughout high school, except for one important person. A week after graduation, you left for college. Still with a heavy heart but you wanted to move on and have a fresh start.

Ten years later

It’s impossible to forget your first love specially if that someone made an impact to your life. You’re sitting on the very spot where you met Yuta remembering how you were charmed by his smile. Mouthing the exact same words he told you before introducing himself first, ‘You should try using soft pastels, they’re more easier to blend’ smiling after you realised you’re completely a fool for still dwelling from the past.

You shrug it of and decided to go back to your high school reunion, maybe people are already looking for you. You stood up from the bleacher, “hi” and you almost fell from where you were standing and the person in front of you is to blame.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry” you told the man that it’s okay and you should get going, not even bothering to look who he might be. It’s weird that the man isn’t letting go of your hand, “Excuse me. I need my hand-“ your heart beats fast like the moment you first saw him. Nothings changed that’s for sure, except his hair color.

“Yuta” your eyes were full of tears but you were smiling the whole time. He pulled you in for a tight hug, holding you close like how he used to. It feels like a dream, you thought. A dream that you never want to end. Catching up with lost time, you spend the night with him forgetting about the high school reunion and watching over the same blue sky you used to look at years and years ago from his room.

He’s now an owner of a popular art gallery in Japan, which you happened to know about. “No way! You own that place, I went there just last year for work” he nods, and told you he knew. And he can’t believe you’re standing inside his art gallery. “I got scared. That’s why I didn’t talked to you” then you remember, on that day you were supposed to meet the owner of the gallery, “That’s why we talked to your secretary instead of the owner… which is you” he was nodding the whole time like a fool. It’s fun laughing the whole night not minding the time, he’s the same man you fell in love with.

“We missed prom because I was busy getting high” he suddenly blurted out when the both of you was silent.

“I went to your house I saw you waiting for me outside, crying because I ditched you” he’s wrong, you were crying that time because you were worried sick. But you saved your explanation for later, for now you just wanted him to explain his part.

“And I know I’m ten years late but, you look beautiful in that red lipstick. And oh! That dress on you, Mmm! I was admiring you from a far, and you were perfect” there he is again, making you laugh “and me I was high that time and I couldn’t ruin your night even more. I cant ruin your life even more” he reached for your hand and kissed it like he used to.

“That was my breaking point. After I finished the home study program, I begged my mom to put me in rehab, I want to be better for you. As always y/n. But as I got better I figured maybe you forgot about me already so I focused on getting better for myself. Went to college, had a job and now this. All better. Never want to go back” he left you speechless again, but he deserves to know the truth.

“Im sorry Yuta, I didn’t know. But for the record I was crying because I just wanted to see you that time. It doesn’t matter if you were high as a kite. I couldn’t care less about prom. I was waiting for you until the sun goes up and you never showed up. I was blaming myself maybe, I didn’t loved you enough thats why you left”

“No no, don’t say that. You were more than enough” tears never stopped falling from your eyes and Yuta hated seeing you cry. So he kissed you on the lips for the first time again for so many years. You rest your forehead on his, taking time to process everything that’s happening right now. Completely aware of what’s running in your mind right now he suggests to take things slow before coming back to each other’s lives again.

“Take all the time you need. I’m sorry. I swear I’ll never leave again”

................................................. Masterlist

Thank you for reading if you get up to this point hihi. Million thanks to every reader like you.

I had a hard time finishing this fic because the word count is originally, 9k+ and I’m not sure if my readers are up for that long fic... because I usually post fics that are 6k max long. But I guess it is what it is.

Hope someone enjoyed this fic huhu

#nct-writers #nct yuta #nct yuta smut #yuta smut #yuta nakamoto x reader #yuta nakamoto smut #nct angst #nct yuta angst #yuta angst #nct smut #nct aus #nct au #smut

510 notes · View notes

where-dreamers-go · 4 years

Text

Merlin x fem!Reader (Soulmate AU Part 2) (Text reupload)

(A/N: Hey, reuploaded this so that it’s not an external link. Part One here.

Warnings: angst, fluff, romance.

Word Count: 4,709 words )

Camelot was in a time of peace. Soulmates were encouraged to be together and see one another without issue from stature. In Camelot’s past and in other kingdoms there was a sensitivity when it came to soulmates. Drama and angst were a given. Heartbreak and rendezvous were kept secret. It was still common, even back then, to keep one’s soulmate mark hidden for fear of talk and hidden agendas. Though times were changing the tradition was still held by most families.

Your family was no different aside from most family members knowing almost exactly what one another’s soulmate mark looked like. Most of the information you held about soulmates and what happened after they met one another was heard from those closest to you. Little bits of information here and there. Yet it was always stressed how it would be one of if not the strongest connection one could ever experience. A connection so strong that most could not fathom the entirety of it all.

You would gladly face that challenge.

On a cool afternoon, you and Merlin were to find out that apparently being separated for a long period of time wasn’t always an option.

At first it was the tugging, the usual but so much more of an intense pull towards one’s soulmate. Yet if one spent too much time away from their soulmate and it nagged into one’s mind long enough, it felt as if one was being pulled by their inner chest. It was almost to the point of having trouble breathing.

No one had cared to mention those details. Then again you had only met your soulmate a handful of days ago.

So there you sat on your legs, three days after meeting your soulmate and bent over a barrel full of soapy water with half-washed bedsheets.

Having been entrusted with knowing that he had magic there was an added weight upon your shoulders. Not to mention a lingering worry in your heart. Your soulmate was always with King Arthur and the knights of the round table. Not to forget that he never wore armor nor chainmail to protect himself while going out on hunts. Or worse. You only knew of a small amount of stories Merlin had told you recently. Those stories kept getting riskier and more dangerous in their descriptions of what had to be done. You started understanding Gaius’ behavior towards the young man. You just dearly hoped he didn’t have to do anything of that again or soon.

Everything was per usual, collecting used bedsheets from the rooms of the castle and going downstairs to clean them. Not what you’d call fun, but it was fine. You had not run into trouble in the tasks before, however your life had changed a lot recently. Regardless, you had been left to your own devices in the vast room with your mind wandering. It hadn’t taken long until you were hoping that Merlin wasn’t too busy and that the King was taking time off from teasing him.

Once you thought about it, you dearly hoped that Merlin was alright.

Images of Merlin running through a dark, moldy, and soldier-filled castle wasn’t the best to be filling your mind’s eye. No armor and unfamiliar halls added to the picture. Worry, fear, and anxiety rolled through your being in moments.

An uncharacteristic pull in your center drew you back to the present.

“Ah!” You squeezed your eyes shut, hoping for the pulling to pass. Even the burning of your mark when you were about to meet Merlin wasn’t nearly this intrusive.

There was work to be done.

Hitting your fist against the barrel was a fruitless attempt to get your mind off of the pull. Your teeth ground together uncomfortably as you avoided biting your tongue. Even then, breathing through your nose was difficult still.

Another pull drew out a painful gasp from you.

The rapid sounds of boots hitting the floors outside gained the attention of your ears at the last second. They only became clearer and louder as you focused on your breathing.

“(Y/N)!”

Merlin rushed into the room. Nothing had a chance to become an obstacle as he made his way straight to you. In a moment he was pulling you away from the barrel and into his embrace for much needed contact.

Relief hit you like a gust of wind. Your chest felt lighter and your airways clear.

“Are you alright?” Merlin huffed, blowing some strands of your hair out of place.

“Yes. Now I am,” you allowed yourself to lean into him. “Thank you.”

It was much easier to breath for the both of you.

Merlin silently thanked the Universe that he had made it to you before anything serious happened. One of his hands cradled your head to his neck. Warmth and safety shared.

“Are you alright?” Your fingers meandered across the back of his shirt.

He swallowed, “I’m fine. You had me worried. What happened?”

“I-I...I don’t know. Thinking about you as I was washing those sheets. I was just worrying. Perhaps more than I thought I was.”

To Merlin, he knew you were having those feelings and he detected your fear. He felt the tug to be near you. It was very apparent. Something that he could not ignore. One that he didn’t.

“Do you think it was because we were apart?” You murmured.

One of his hands stroked your side as your breathing gradually started evening out. All the while your hands rubbed the texture of Merlin’s blue shirt between your fingers for added reassurance.

“We should ask Gaius.” Merlin piped up. “He might know more about what happened.”

“Should we go now?”

“Yes, now.” He pulled back to look at you. “The chores can wait.”

Walking into what was turning into your new home, the pair of you found Gaius standing behind one of his work tables.

“Gaius.” Merlin quickly made his way over to his mentor, his hand still clasped with yours.

“What’s the matter?”

Eyebrows knitted together as he visibly braced himself for whatever Merlin had to relay to him.

“I felt an growing sense of worry and fear that wasn’t my own and then there was this very persistent pull. My first thought was to find her and she was in a worse state than I was, but we were fine once we were together.”

Letting out a breath of air, the older man looked relieved.

That made you wonder again what he could imagine Merlin getting into. You decided against imagining anything else at the moment.

Merlin waited patiently despite the questioning look in his eyes.

“You perceived her feelings, correct?”

“Yes,” Merlin nodded.

“Alright. (Y/N), you felt distressed?”

“Yes.” You answered with slight growing suspicion.

“The pair of you are still fresh in meeting one another, however there could be other factors to what just happened.”

“Like what?” You questioned.

“The time allowed....or rather the time you can both stand being physically apart may depend on how one of you is feeling. Some days you might need the other more than the day before.”

“So if Merlin was in trouble....I would know?”

“Why do I have to be in trouble?”

“I’ve taken the privilege of telling (Y/N) about some of your shenanigans.” Gaius raised his eyebrows at the young man. “But, yes, I think either one of you would know when to find the other.”

“Sounds handy,” you mused. “But I could do without the intensity of it all if one of us was not in any real trouble.”

Merlin rubbed a hand over your back in circular motions.

“So it all varies depending on us? That’s all?” You pressed further.

“That is the general idea,” Gaius answered. “Which was why I recommend that you both....sleep near one another. For the time being.”

Both your eyebrows and Merlin’s shot up in response.

“We’ll move the cot into Merlin’s room for now. Then we will see if that will help until you two are more accustomed to being soulmates.”

. . .

On the first day you had met Merlin, you had learned more than a handful of knowledge about Camelot than you had your entire first week of living there, especially when it was just you and Merlin in his room. You couldn’t help but to ask Merlin what happened to between Arthur and Guinevere that Gaius was referring to when they found out. Evidently, they had gone through a lot. Especially being they didn’t know what the burning and such of their marks meant when neither mentioned it to the other. Your soulmate didn’t spare on details that he had of the pairs ups and downs, many of which he was a part of. Then again he had plenty of stories to tell you later.

By the time dinner had long ended, you were about to return home when you were told otherwise. You stayed the night. It was much to your surprise and Merlin’s when Gaius highly advised it. The older man did not hide the fact that staying in your home for the night wouldn’t be wise when you hadn’t spent much time with Merlin, your soulmate. Something about it being healthier for you and giving you peace of mind in the long run. The Court Physician promised to let you both know when you would be able to sleep in your own home without worry.

Close proximity was in mind. However, you had never heard of such recommendation even from your family. Perhaps you were missing something.

You figured the older man knew much more than he let others have knowledge of. Also being that it was a rather strange and personal request to have you and Merlin stay together. Even Merlin found it a bit odd. It raised more questions for the pair of you.

Then again, Gaius did have restrictions set up. Meaning they had set up a cot for you in their small physician’s home. One that they hid with a folded room divider. Although Merlin had offered you to take his bed, you declined much to his many counter arguments.

That night your mind whirled with memories and feelings stuck with you. It was still freshly thrilling to have met your soulmate. That and to feel such unconditional love and acceptance. The two of you had barely met yet it was as if you had known him forever.

By morning it felt completely normal. Felt as it should be. Neither of you wanted to go to work at all.

It was only through motivation and Gaius’ warnings that the pair of you went to work.

. . .

The armory of Camelot. The ever present scent of metal and the slight lingering smell of perspiration. Putting away training equipment was of course left up to Merlin.

He spent most of time thinking about his soulmate rather than his next chore. That was neither a surprise nor a problem for the sorcerer. Merlin had spent numerous moments alone wondering what it would be like to meet his soulmate. Being as he had past such an achievement in one’s life, he happily indulged himself in thoughts of you.

Even in the short time he knew you there were flutters and warmth inside of him when simply gazed over at you. Every morning he awoke, you were the first to cross his mind. When he’d see Arthur and Gwen walking together, he’d remember the softness of your hands. Each step on a stairway caused him to smile as he was reminded of how he finally met you. The one he cherished and would cherish every day of his life.

Merlin could not wait to learn more about you and in turn could not wait to fall further into his relationship with you. Every sunrise and each sunset was another day to share and experience life.

He paused in his actions at the feeling or perhaps sensing that you were nearby. Merlin peered over at the doorway, waiting for any movement.

An infectious grin appeared on his face once he saw you enter the space.

You both greeted each other with wide grins and a welcoming hug of warmth.

“What are you doing here? I mean of all places, (Y/N).”

“I just wanted to see you.”

Fingers lightly traced patterns on the other’s hands. Grins turned to smiles and the armory was the last thing on Merlin’s mind.

He kissed your forehead.

“Merlin, why do you have dirt on your face?” You reached a hand up and attempted to rub it off. “You didn’t take a nap outside while Arthur was training did you?” You teased.

“No.”

Like clockwork, Merlin let out a yawn. He mentally cursed.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have stayed up talking so long,” you pursed your lips.

“Maybe, but I enjoyed it.”

“Even the part where I woke you up by poking your leg?”

“That was my favorite part.”

“Was not,” you laughed.

You removed the rest of the smudge on Merlin’s face and poked his side.

Again, he kissed your head.

Merlin adored you and each second spent with you. He wondered how many more days Gaius would recommend you staying in his room. It wasn’t that he minded at all, however he felt as if there was something he wasn’t quite understanding from Gaius’ end.

. . .

Prior to your little scare while washing dirty laundry, you had other types of startling moments, but the good kinds. Thank goodness. For your soulmate Merlin had always seemed to slip in out of nowhere to greet you with a hug and a kiss on the temple. Sounded cute enough, however he could literally be silent upon approach.

Less than scary, but a little unsure was during the first morning of knowing you were soulmates. Merlin had formally introduced you to the knights which was practically an event in itself. Those who were closest to him either hugged you or took your hand in a short ‘hello’. The support and happiness was enough to ease your mind in knowing that you weren’t able to tell your family in person. The knights beaming at the sight of you and Merlin hand in hand could brighten any day.

Even though you had been in Camelot for some time already, realizing you were soulmates with Merlin opened up a whole new world of friendships. One of those being Gaius who had welcomed you in with a smile and open arms. Not to forget his advice that you didn’t mind receiving, he was the Court Physician after all. In time you’d grow to have even more people to rely upon.

. . .

Perhaps two hours since you last saw Merlin and you had eaten a noon meal, you were returning to your chores with a large empty basket in hand. Working inside of a castle seemed to be just as much work as up-keeping the farms and such back home.

As you passed by another castle servant you smiled. Some had already found out that you and Merlin were soulmates. The kitchen cook gave her condolences.

Even with Merlin’s friends quite excited about him finding his soulmate, you and Merlin still had to keep their soulmate marks secret. A flying golden dragon was a common mark. Too dangerous and risky to let anyone know. Added that it wasn’t proper to be walking around and showing off your soulmate mark. Even if there were those bold and curious enough to ask what it was.

Glad that you weren’t lugging around another hefty load was an added perk to your already fine day. That was until you were spooked.

You were walking down a long stretch of hall in the castle when your wrist was abruptly grasped and you were pulled between a wall’s indent, hidden from view.

“Merlin.” Your tone was stuck between a scolding and relief.

“Hello (Y/N),” your soulmate tucked you into his embrace.

“You startled me.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin ducked his head to be hidden in the crook of your neck.

Humming a little, you dropped the empty basket at your feet in exchange for clasping your hands behind his back and keeping him close.

It was such instances that made you realize how much you enjoyed affection.

When Merlin held you, you felt both grounded and weightless in your presence. It was something you shared mutually. A closeness you both craved no matter the distance.

The whole world seemed to quiet and light up all at once while in the little hideaway you both had created.

To be frank, you were a little surprised how Merlin was able to get away for a moment. Even in the short time knowing each other, you had come to realize just how much work Merlin had for himself each day. Between keeping his true nature and self a secret while protecting Arthur, Camelot, all the people he cared for; chores for Gaius, and chores from Arthur; it was a wonder he didn’t pass out from sleep exhaustion. Apparently, as you learned, Merlin was use to it. You came to understand exactly why he had literally flopped onto his bed on more than one occasion. You’d never laughed at the action since then.

Of course you had your own job as a servant in Camelot’s castle; something Queen Guinevere was happy to hear because that meant you’d be close enough to Merlin. It was something that the King and Queen of Camelot had discussed shortly after Arthur had found Merlin with you surrounded by a mess of laundry on the floor. The couple wanted to make certain that you wouldn’t be too far from Merlin. They cared <i>a lot</i> about their friend.

No matter what happened or what you did, at the end of the day you were with your soulmate, Merlin. Safe, warm, and happy together.

Interestingly enough, during one of your nights together, you had heard from Merlin that Arthur and Gwen had swirl marks behind their left ears. His story even lead to him telling you how Gwen had discovered Arthur’s mark first when the pair were having secret meetings together.

You quite enjoyed listening to Merlin’s stories late at night when he could tell you ones no one else knew about. Your favorites so far were how he met his friends and some really funny stunts he had witnessed. Most of which so far involved Gwaine and Merlin’s involvement one way or another.

It wasn’t every day that you could talk so openly with someone you truly connected with.

. . .

Almost two weeks had passed since you had met and a little less than a week since Gaius had deemed it safe for you to stay in your own home at night. A certain someone walked you home at night and left after a long embrace.

Merlin was missing your company. It didn’t take much for you to know. Despite both feeling the same Merlin knew that you did have your own home to upkeep. Added that you were both strong enough to spend some time away from one another even if neither of you actually wanted to. Merlin counted himself lucky that he didn’t have to find excuses to be with you longer those first few days. The other nights that followed seemed almost extra and not singularly necessary as foretold.

However, questions always arose in the sorcerer’s mind referring to Gaius’ decisions. It wasn’t until the first night you were sleeping back in your own home that through a stare down and a serious expression at the dining table that Merlin was able to get Gaius to tell him another reason why you were kept under their care for well over two nights.

“Because I wanted to make sure there weren’t any....side effects.”

“What kind exactly, Gaius?”

“The magical kind. You are powerful, Merlin and there is no one out there like you. I had to make sure that your--(Y/N) didn’t suffer any sudden side effects because of being away from you too soon. All soulmates are effected differently. I wasn’t about to have her out alone and frightened when she would be safe with you. It’s one thing to have soulmates separated just after meeting one another and showing an emotion uncontrollably. It’s a completely different story when one of the soulmate’s is a powerful sorcerer.”

“You were afraid that (Y/N) would unconsciously use magic.”

“I was. There’s no telling what your connection could lead to, Merlin.”

“I know that it will be something great. I believe that.”

It was afternoon, the sun shining bright high above and a light breeze in the air. Merlin had everything planned; giving Arthur and Guinevere their afternoon meals to carrying specific supplies out of the castle without you spotting him. He was a little too good at that.

The sorcerer had asked you earlier to meet him in a specific spot outside. He had even marked the location with a small scrap of dark blue fabric on a low tree branch. Just in case.

Arriving at the designated location, his heart was pumping faster the closer he was to your form. Sometimes he found it hard to breathe, to focus on something so simple. If he thought too deep about how all of it was real, tangible, you were in his life.

You turned around to face him before any words were able to leave his mouth.

“Merlin,” you beamed and he felt his heart contract.

His eyes taking in how the afternoon light fanned over your features nicely, distractingly. As you walked up to him, he felt more aware of life the closer you were.

“(Y/N),” Merlin finally found it in himself to speak.

You both hugged each other. Feelings of glee, excitement, and minimum anxiety were perceived between you both.

“So what are we doing out here exactly?” You inquired, eyes all alight.

“It’s a little surprise.”

“Little? I’ve found you’re not the kind to have ‘little surprises’ in your life.”

“That’s fair.” Merlin stated before taking a step back to bow and offer you his hand. “Shall we?”

“We shall,” you grinned as giddiness had overtaken you.

Happily, you accepted his hand and allowed him to lead you passed more trees basking in the daylight.

After a little bit of walking, you both came to a quiet spot where a blanket and a small basket was laid out. He lead you straight there.

“When did you have time to do this?” You asked.

“Oh, that part’s a secret.”

You laughed lightly as you both sat down atop of the fabric.

Merlin had really gone out of his way for this.

Would he always have surprises up his sleeve?

Surrounded by nature and positive energy the two of you ate snacks, talked, and more than enjoyed the other’s company. You took a couple of opportunities to steal glances at Merlin when he wasn’t looking. It was more of a challenge than it sounded. It wasn’t long until your curiosity about his magic reappeared. Given that you were both alone it seemed safe enough to ask him.

“So...I know that you can make flowers just appear in your hands, but can you move things or is it just elements? Plants?” You asked, gazing up at him from your lounging position.

“I can do a lot more than grow plants.”

“You can move rocks?”

“Yes,” Merlin answered, finding your phrasing amusing. “I can control parts of weather, stop something or someone from falling, lite fires, and help cure people. Some of which are from spells.”

Mouth agape, you stared at your soulmate.

“Stopping a bucket of water from spilling. Lightning once, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Lightning? That’s...that’s frightening, but...it is natural. The power of nature. I guess it isn’t so different than stopping water midair. Then again, I can’t really picture you using lightning or conjuring it? What I mean is that....how can it or you be actually frightening if you were using me to stay warm the other night when you were walking me home?”

“True,” Merlin ducked his head a bit.

“It isn’t scary at all. Just different.”

Blue eyes glanced back to you.

“It’s a good thing I really like different.”

Crinkles were visible by his eyes as he chuckled. Deep and airy all at once.

You adored every crease and every happy sound he emitted. Knowing that you had years to learn and love his quirks and charms filled your heart with an added zing. To have a life intertwined with someone such as Merlin was everything you needed and everything you hadn’t expected.

Birds chirped and communicated nearby as you and Merlin continued relaxing underneath the shade of trees. The soft hum of nature and her energies set the perfect balance for your picnic date.

A raise of your hand and you were poking a finger where you knew Merlin’s mark rested behind his shirt. A golden shape of a dragon hidden from view.

Your lips pressed together tightly as he gently took ahold of your hand and pressed your open palm over his chest. Internally, you sensed the mixtures of strong emotions he was experiencing. All centered around you. The joy, the compassion, and the ever expanding yearning.

You released a breath you had only became aware that you were withholding. In the back of your mind you knew that Merlin wanted to share more with you. Not knowing exactly what yet sensing you might any second caused your heart rate to rise. You were certain he noticed.

Merlin lowered himself further onto the blanket and held himself up on an elbow. The natural light appearing from between the leaves above added extra blue shades to his already cerulean eyes.

With a light touch, Merlin brushed back some of your hair away from your face, his eyes memorizing each small detail of your bright eyes. In a fraction of a moment his gaze slipped lower. Slowly, however steady without an ounce of hesitation his lips greeted yours with a gentle caress. Sensitive and aware, he pushed no further.

As you reciprocated you felt his lips morph into a small smile. It was then that you truly felt his heartbeat underneath your palm.

The kiss was a blissful moment seeming to suspend time. In midst of it all you encountered a weightless, bright, and inviting feeling. What it was exactly, you weren’t sure of its name. Whatever the feeling was you did not want to part from it.

“I love you, Merlin,” you murmured as his forehead rested on your own.

You could feel a golden heat radiating from him as he grinned, the skin crinkling beside his eyes dearly.

“I love you, (Y/N).” Merlin declared, pulling you closer and into his arms. “I love you so much.”

The sorcerer never wanted to let you go. Every touch, every word, and every breath of air felt right. He wanted to live in this moment of pure happiness forever. To see you smile and feel the warmth of your skin.

He adored you. He cared and cherished you. The sorcerer’s heart could burst with the sheer amount of love he had for you.

Love.

Merlin knew what it was, he knew what it meant. That golden feeling.

Love wasn’t new for him, but this love. This love that he had reserved for you was entirely different. It consumed him in the best way he could ever imagine. It was the kind of love that could build kingdoms, soar over mountains, and dive into the deepest trenches of the ocean. A type of love that could overcome and conquer anything while bringing light with each new day.

That was the love Merlin had for you.

#BBC Merlin x Reader #Merlin x fem!Reader #Merlin x Reader #soulmate au #BBC Merlin fanfiction #Merlin #where dreamers go

118 notes · View notes

josefavomjaaga · 3 years

Text

Helfert, Joachim Murat, Chapter 6, Part 4

Sorry as usual for the long delay. I really had to finish some other work. When we left off, Murat was still in Corsica, planning his landing on Neapolitan soil.

In Ajaccio, Murat's imminent arrival was soon known, and on the 23rd, when he made his entrance, a reception awaited him that sealed his doom. For now he was drunk from joy and a feeling of victory. His pride, his ambition, together with his adventurous, extravagant imagination, won over him to such an extent that he remained completely deaf to calm ideas, to rational arguments. "This is how my Neapolitans received me," he exclaimed to Franceschetti in the evening, "whenever I returned from the field to their midst!" And after a while: "Yes, so be it! I will live or die among my people! I want to go to Naples, let us not miss a moment to be there!" To make the measure of his delusion complete, a letter from Count Borgia of Rome, sent to him via Porto-Longone, came into his hands in these days, describing the mood in Naples as immensely favourable to him, and King Ferdinand as hated everywhere. Lambruschini, who could teach him otherwise, was, as we know, not even in Naples at that time, let alone that any news had arrived from him, which, incidentally, in the mood in which Murat now found himself, would hardly have changed his decision.

The next few days were spent preparing for departure. As a side piece to the Bogognano Manifesto, he now had a "royal decree" drawn up which could almost be called Napoleonic, so much thought was given in it to the most insignificant details. The constitution is to come into force on 1 January 1816, and the convocation of the chambers is to be initiated without delay" (Art. 1). "All civil servants, officers and dignitaries discharged since May 21 shall immediately resume their official positions; the former division of the army shall be restored; all grades, all allocations, all promotions, honours and rewards made during the last campaign shall remain in force (Art. 2, 8, 10). On the other hand, all those appointed since that day shall immediately leave their posts, otherwise they will be declared rebels, inciters of civil war, traitors to the fatherland, put outside the law and treated as such (Art. 3, 4). Neither the royal palaces, summer residences and estates were forgotten, for which the former court servants would once again have to take care, nor the king's horses, equipages and carriages, for which the chief stable master and his staff were made responsible (Art. 13, 14). "All our adjutants and orderly officers must appear without delay at Our Headquarters and rally around Our person" (Art. 18). . . The decree, consisting of 20 articles, was calculated to 36. It provided for the composition of the ministry, for the filling of the leading military posts in the capital and in the provinces. But because it was pointed out to the "King" that a premature appointment of these personalities, most of whom were in Naples, would only expose them to Ferdinand's revenge, Murat agreed to the relevant articles being suppressed. The decree and the manifesto were then sent to the printers at Ajaccio, in order to have a sufficient number of copies of both at hand at the first moment. The place and date of execution were left open; both headings were to be filled in as soon as they were in place.

On 28 September, everything was ready for departure. The desired vehicles were prepared and equipped as needed: there were five trabacoli and one felucca, larger barques (gondoloni), as the Barbaresks used them for their raids; the crew to be embarked, officers, soldiers and seamen, numbered about 250. Immediately before embarkation, the "King" promoted all officers by one rank each and awarded the Order of Both Sicilies to those who were not yet decorated with it. The relevant decrees were written in all royal chancery style, so that the clerks available in Ajaccio had to be diligent enough in their work.

Joachim entrusted the supreme command of the flotilla to the frigate Captain Barbara, a Maltese by birth, who had been given the baronate by Murat.

On 25 September, Colonel Maceroni had arrived in the port of Bastia, from where, after learning that Murat had departed from Vescovato, he had telegraphed his imminent arrival in Ajaccio. At noon on the 28th, he arrived in the capital of Corsica and went to Joachim without delay to inform him of the conditions of the Great Powers, to hand over the travel documents for the journey to Trieste and to enclose his most urgent ideas not to reject the offer made to him out of hand. At the same time, the British Captain Bastard, who had long ago arrived in the port of Bastia with the frigate Mäander and two sloops of cannon, offered to take the ex-king across the sea. But it was impossible to have a sensible word with him. If the Corsicans, for whom he had never done anything, had welcomed him so enthusiastically, would this be less the case in Naples, which he had showered with benefits as king? And should he abandon the hundreds who had now joined him to the revenge of the French government? And if his enterprise failed, what could happen to him? That his person should be secured and that he should be kept in some remote place like his brother-in-law! - When his faithful congratulated him on the unexpected salvation opened up to him by the offer of Emperor Franz, he exclaimed: "Of course, I will go to Austria, so that one morning I may be found strangled in the bosom of my family! I would rather go to Constantinople! But no, even there I would be killed!" Nevertheless, he wrote a letter to Maceroni in which he did not necessarily reject the proposal of the allied powers, but reserving the right to consider it as soon as he would be with his family. He explained that he had to decline Bastard's invitation because it had been made in an improper manner: "une sommation trop peu mesurée"; no doubt the captain had addressed him simply as "Marshal Murat".

Carabelli also arrived in Ajaccio that day and had a conversation with the ex-king, without achieving anything other than encouraging the ill-fated man in his intentions.

Helfert comments on the arrival of the Neapolitan Carabelli in a footnote with reference to two other reports:

Franceschetti p. 39-41 and Colletta-Gallois p. 30 f. present the matter as if the Neapolitan government had sent Ignazio Carabelli, who is supposed to have joined his brother Simone after his arrival in Corsica, in order to play the agent provocateur with Murat and lure him to Naples. This is not only contradicted by Ricciardi's explicit testimony, but also by the entire situation and mood at the Court of Naples, where Murat's ventures were feared, not desired. It is downright nonsensical when Colletta-Gallois add the remark: "Ainsi on était informé à Naples de tout ce qui se passait en Corse". Was there an undersea telegraph at that time? Lambruschini, who certainly hurried to bring his well-meant warnings to the ex-king, needed seven days from Rome to Bastia, 6 to 12 October, and Ignaz Carabelli was certainly not sent by Minister Medici before mid-September, probably only after the 18th, when Jablonovski had his conversation with the king. Now Carabelli, who no doubt had a government ship at his disposal, may have managed his passage to Bastia more quickly than Lambruschini; but from Bastia he still had the arduous land route or the circumnavigation of Cape Bianco in the north or Cape Bonifazio in the south - Maceroni had taken a full three days from Bastia to Ajaccio! - so that he certainly did not meet Murat before the 28th, which is also consistent with explicit witness statements. And then one should have been informed in Naples "de tout ce qui se passait en Corse"!

The text continues:

Before midnight Murat wrote a second long letter to Maceroni, in which there was no longer any question of yielding: "I will never accept the conditions which you have been instructed to impose on me; for me they are nakedly and simply tantamount to an abdication, for which I am offered the sole advantage of being allowed to live in perpetual slavery and under the arbitrary control of a despotic government. I have not abdicated, I have the right to reclaim my crown if God gives me the strength and the means to do so! I place freedom above all else; captivity is death to me. What treatment have I to expect from these powers who made me spend two months under the daggers of the assassins of Marseilles! I have laid down my life a thousand times in battle for the fatherland: shall I not be allowed to lay it down once for my own interest?"

Immediately afterwards, he went to the ships, the anchors were lifted and they set out into the open sea. The citadel of Ajaccio, whose crew had not dared to take any action against the Muratists, sent a few live rounds after the flotilla, which, however, did no damage because the flotilla was already out of range. The sky was clear, the sea calm. But on the 29th a storm came up and the small squadron had to drop anchor on the 30th at the deserted island of Tavolara, on the north-east coast of Sardinia. On 1 October, they set sail again and on the 4th were so close to the coast of Naples that they could see Vesuvius. The ex-king's mad plan of taking Ferdinand by surprise in Portici now flashed through his mind again, but he let himself be talked out of it and they steered south towards Calabria. On the 6th Paola was in sight. Efforts were made to anchor: a storm arose and four of the ships were driven far out to sea, only the felucca of Battalion Commander Courrand remained near the vessel carrying the "King". On the 7th they waited for the others to return; when they did not show themselves, a landing was nevertheless to be attempted. A muleteer and one of Joachim's old guard came along the way and Major Ottaviani was disembarked to question them. Their answers did not inspire confidence; they also attracted the attention of the beach guard, from whom two blind shots were fired, demanding obedience. Ottaviani was again put ashore, then two sailors and Baron Barbara, who identified themselves to the local authorities as "Frenchmen on a journey to Tunis"; for Barbara had provided himself with passports to that effect in Corsica. Nevertheless, the officials became suspicious and detained Ottaviani and one of the sailors; only the other sailor and Barbara were released. Murat did not want to abandon his men, but in the end he followed prudent considerations and set sail for Amantea and then even further south.

Courrand's behaviour now became so suspicious that Captain Pernice and Lieutenant Moltedo, who were on his ship, insisted on being transferred to Barbara's barque; indeed, Courrand disappeared with his vessel the following night and was never seen again. Murat had only one ship left, and now for the first time pusillanimity came over him. He had only a handful of men with him; he saw that his enterprise would be foolhardy. He ordered Galvani to throw the copies of the manifesto and the decree into the sea and decided to sail to Trieste in order to make use of the offer of the Emperor of Austria and of his passport, which he had prudently kept with him. But for this they needed money, food and above all a larger ship. They were near Pizzo and Murat wanted to disembark here in order to procure what they needed. Barbara objected to this plan, an exchange of words ensued, Murat became passionate, and all his good intentions were blown out of the water. The ideas of the more superior, and the entreaties of his faithful valet not to run to his ruin, did not succeed: he, the "king," commanded, and the others had to obey. "I have only done good to the Neapolitans," he cried, "they cannot have forgotten me, they will hasten to my aid!"

The barge struck the shore, the officers were eager to jump out of the ship, but Murat refused them: "It is for me to be the first to set foot on the soil of my kingdom." And with that he was ashore. He had enough deliberation left to order Captain Barbara to lead his ship into a sheltered bay close by to be ready for any eventuality. It was on the 8th of October, a Sunday, between 11 and 12 o'clock in the morning.

#joachim murat #colonel maceroni #naples #naples 1815 #helfert murat

12 notes · View notes

twilitty · 4 years

Text

Waiting pt.3

Waiting

@twilitty

part 3/?

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

read this first! Edward explores what is causing his wife to act so detached.

Edward was paralyzed with fear. It was a similar feeling to when he watched himself nearly drain Bella of her blood after James had bitten her. The feeling when Jasper nearly attacked and killed her. It was the feeling of a broken man who has now broken another person. He was a porcelain doll with cracks along his figure, and the beautiful, fragile doll next to him gets knocked over by some force that he’s caused.

Bella has been acting differently, more than should be expected after beginning her new life. She’s been unusually distant, taking her vehicle to Port Angeles and not telling him why. She chooses to hunt on her own in the mornings, but Edward knows that she is not only hunting. He can smell her trail when he goes out later in the afternoon, she takes a long route and ends up by the stream bed. No blood along the trail at any point, no scent of an animal she’s killed.

When Nessie is asleep she hands her off to Edward or Rose. When Nessie wakes up she’ll play momentarily before claiming to have forgotten to do something. It’s as if she shows no interest in her daughter, and why? She had chosen to have this child, chosen the child's life over her own. And now she seems disinterested in every aspect of her life.

This burning, paralyzing fear is what pulled Edward out of his home that evening. Entrusting his daughter to her more than willing aunt and uncle, he went to the treaty line.

Standing at the edge now his thoughts run circles around his feelings, taunting him and scaring him. Telling him he’s an awful father and husband, that he made a mistake when he chose to pursue a future with Bella. But what about my daughter? Regardless of his feelings towards his wife, he has to agree that his daughter was the best possible outcome.

All he had wanted was a future with his love, a future where him and Bella could live in peace. And they were given a beautiful daughter, warm brown eyes and red unruly hair. If he had to choose to go back in time and remain away, could he? I can’t imagine a life without her, he thinks mourningly. His daughter is his whole life, he spends every moment he can with her, he enjoys nothing more than being a part of her life.

When she smiles at something he’s done it’s as though his heart will simply burst. He cannot abandon his daughter, there is no reality where he can imagine ever doing so. His wife may be unhappy now, she may be secretive and reclusive, but that is a worthy price for bringing him his beautiful daughter.

“What do you want, old man?” It’s Jacob Black, standing on the other side of the treaty line. He’s in what likely used to be jeans but are now sliced along the thighs unevenly creating an unflattering pair of shorts. His chest is bare, as it always seems to be, and his hair is braided in two strips that fall over his shoulders. He had gotten Edwards' text.

After the birth of Nessie, Bella had appointed Jacob as the godfather, which very few found endearing. This sentiment had brought Jacob closer to the Cullens, often he would be found running perimeter around the family home or bringing new toys and clothing to the little girl. He wears a necklace around his neck that she had assisted in making for him.

It’s a pink shoelace with orange, yellow, and red beads laced through it. It was part of an arts and crafts project Jacob had brought over. He wears it constantly. It’s long and hangs down over his stomach so that when he shifts he can still wear it as a wolf.

Now, Jacob plays with it absently as Edward regards him with pressed lips. “Alright, bloodsucker, let’s spit out your words,” Jacob thinks with little sympathy. It’s a major blow to the vampire's pride to even broach the topic with this man, and knowing that the entire pack will soon hear about it does little to ease his conflicting emotions.

“I would like to discuss Bella with you,” Edward says formally. Jacobs eyes trail over him lazily, as if looking to pick out his flaws and toss them back in his face. “She better not be pregnant again.” Edward chooses not to respond to this. Of course she isn’t, it isn’t possible.

Finally Jacob responds out loud, “You already married her, what more do you want?” A smirk spreads over his lips, “If you’re looking for a second wife I’ll happily offer up Leah.”

“I don’t want anything-”

“Right, right, you’re so selfless and holy and better-than-thou,” Jacob snorts which only adds to Edwards mounting anger. “Let’s get this over with, colonizer.” Edwards eyes roll back in his head, arms crossing over his chest.

“Please, try and take what I am telling you seriously,” he says a little too forcefully. He doesn’t want to argue with Jacob right now, he’s trying to have a civil discussion and instead Jacob is taunting him. Can this boy not take anything seriously?

“Fine.”

Edward gives him a curt nod, “Thank you.” With an awkward glance around the forest, Edward begins his speech. “I was not present when Bella was going through her troubling… phase,” he says the last word gingerly as if not wanting to awaken it from it’s sleep.

“Depression,” Jacob corrects mentally. Edward cringes at the word but continues as if nothing was thought.

“But I have seen its worst parts through the minds of others. I am worried she may not be as happy as she once was. I’m concerned.” The statement doesn’t phase Jacob physically or mentally, instead his thoughts remain strangely silent and he merely shifts his weight to the other foot. “I’m not sure what to do, she is away today and I thought about following her-”

“Are you an idiot? Did you spend the last three hundred years working towards your doctorate in the school of dumbasses?” Jacobs' tone is cruel, his facts incorrect, and his demeanor more than a little concerning. He’s on the defence, as if something Edwards said has offended him. “Sometimes I wish kicking your ass wouldn’t force your daughter into therapy.”

If anything his poor daughter will need therapy from the infinite amount of insults her godfather trades with her father.

“So I’m going to assume you don’t think following her to an unknown location is not a good idea?” It’s a rhetorical question and the century old vampire quickly continues on, “Need I remind you that the second she thought her mother was in trouble she offered herself up on a silver platter?”

What was supposed to be a civil conversation has instead turned into a nasty argument, and Edward isn’t sure what caused the change. “Need I remind you that if there weren’t any vampires that wouldn’t be a problem?” Jacob’s words hit too close to home and he notices this when Edward winces at the statement. “What? You feel guilty now?”

“Yes, yes, I feel guilty because she very clearly is not happy!” Now Edward is yelling, matching Jacobs energy and escalating the situation even more than need be. “Do you not think I wish I could intervene? I have been trying to discuss this with her, bring up speaking to psychologist-”

“She doesn’t need a psychologist, she needs a friend.” Edward wasn’t meant to hear the thought and quickly Jacobs' mind focuses on the necklace between his fingers, trying to avoid that line of thought. “This wood is so smooth…”

“She has Rose,” Edward sputters uselessly, pale hands coming up as if to grasp his wife’s mentally well-being out of the air. “She has Alice, she has Esme. Her and Emmett get along quite well-”

“And she has me,” Jacob says aloud. His tone is quiet, stating a fact and nothing more. He isn’t looking to antagonize Edward and is no longer defensive. “And I’m the only one her age. The only one who isn’t a vampire. The only one who isn’t part of the family she married into.” It’s like running into a brick wall, the reality of the situation hits Edward in the face and it’s all he can do to not falter backwards a step to try and right himself.

His fingers begin to twitch at his sides, eyes eerily still as his brain processes the plausibility of what Jacob Black just told him. “She’s lonely?” He says at last, the word breaking as it escapes his lips and crashing to the floor like a porcelain doll. His wife, the woman who told him she wanted to be a vampire, wanted to spend eternity with him, is lonely?

“She’s-” Jacobs cut off as a howl rings through the forest. The noise echoes off the trees around them, Edward reads it through the other man's mind. It’s his turn to run perimeter around the reservation. “I’ve gotta go.” He turns around and sprints off into the shadows of the forest. His steps quicken and then are replaced by the heavy thudding of four paws. The sound of the wolf running quickly escapes Edwards hearing distance and the forest remains silent.

The vampire stands alone in the forest, the canopy of trees above him cutting off the filtered sunlight of the dreary day. How could his wife be lonely? Didn’t she choose this life?

He feels some piece of information stuck in the back of his mind, just out of reach and he growls in frustration. This was his family, his life, his wife. And of course he didn’t have a clue on how to fix any of it.

How could he have allowed this to happen?

It’s a split second decision that sends him through the woods, angling towards the nearest city. He’s the fastest of his family, matching miles in seconds and never needing to slow down or catch his breath. He doesn’t even need to breathe. It’s a wondrous escape from the bindings of human life, being able to exercise his supernatural body to the full extent of its abilities. His strides quicken as he pushes them to go faster, his muscles pull and release in perfect harmony and work upon their own accord.

Bella had experienced this as a human, clutching onto his shoulders as he tore through the forest with her on his back. It was everything he had wanted. Showing the girl he loved most the side of him that no other human got to see. And she had loved him back. Had. Where are her feelings now?

He slows as he reaches the edge of the highway, it’s lanes converging into slower moving traffic as the city opens before him. Brick buildings stand at attention along main street, the exteriors primed for maximum tourist appeal. Old signs hang from stoops over the doorways, restaurants and gift shops alike. Edward already knows the exact route he had taken when Bella had come here as a human, when she was trapped in that alleyway- “But where would she be now?” He asks himself aloud.

She had driven here, not run as he had. He supposes he could look for her vehicle and then trace her scent to her current whereabouts, but then what? He finds her and approaches her, tells her that he’s been searching her down to confirm that she does in fact still love him? No, he can’t do that, he knows that. Jacob had told him specifically not to do what he is currently doing. Not to follow Bella, don’t act like an idiot.

Yet, here he is. Acting against his and Jacobs better judgement.

He had purposely not spoken to his wife about her trips to Port Angeles because he didn’t want her to feel like she had to ask permission to leave. He wanted her to develop a sense of self as a vampire, not rely on him to sustain her only. He had wanted her to explore her new senses and abilities. He thought everything was going so well. Perhaps Rosalie was right, Bella was better off as a human.

He steps out of the forest, grateful for the dim sky which clouded his skin. He walked aimlessly towards the main street, allowing his senses to take in all that is around him. He smells the fresh bread of the bakery across the road, the sickly sweet scent of melted ice cream sitting somewhere in a trashcan. He smells everything, but comes up without his wife. He hears the cars and the chattering of people as they go about their mindless, petty tasks, but his wife is not anywhere on this street.

He eventually finds her vehicle, a black suv with tinted windows. She had parked at the opposite end of the city, under the shade of a large pine and beside a public park. He sniffs the air experimentally, her scent is travelling in every direction, but the north trail into the park is more potent. She’s been here recently. He looks through her passenger side window, a box of tissues sits on the seat alongside an open glasses case. None of them wear glasses, and this discovery startles him a little.

He follows the trail north.

- let me know if you want to be tagged when i upload!-

@edwardsmate4ever

#twilight #new moon #eclipse #fanfic #twilight 2008 #twilight saga #twilight renassiance #edward cullen #bella cullen #bella swan #fanfiction #headcanon #head canon #hc

17 notes · View notes

blankdblank · 3 years

Text

It’s A Mother Flocking Puffin Pt 24

Special Credit to @c-s-stars for again loaning me her OC Mal for this storyline involving the Princes. :) Some more attention for the trio in this one.

“Would it be better for me to payoff my Yuula’s scholarship as her title and lineage has been announced now?” The Emperor asked King Thror on his way back from his trip to stroll through the gardens while you napped.

Thror shook his head, “No. I do understand your concern, you have the funds and her rank is quite stunning, however in our culture even our young nobles are granted the chance to make their own marks. For our kin she has taken an admirable path to her education.”

Niro nodded, “In fact the news was discussing that the other day. Her grades alone were impressive she merely required some aid on the funding. Starting a business and growing sturdier in her studies and our culture have nestled her into the hearts of our people.”

Thror added, “Were there some sort of dilemma on that aspect we would inform you immediately.”

Emperor Winge sighed saying, “I just feel like there is something more I could do.”

Both the great grandparents chuckled saying together, “That feeling never wanes with age.”

Two days and the shift of the bed stirred the kitten lying across your back that stretched and rolled over accidentally off your back right into the hand that settled him back on your back. Thorin back from his wedding job eased into the bed gently guiding you to lay against his side using his shoulder now as a pillow dropping into a deep sleep content that at least with the late night flight he could arrive here and join you for a long night’s rest once again. Frerin, Dwalin and Balin along for the ride also we’re glad to be home again and to have him so glad to be back where usually he might be the one to try and play along with Frerin’s urge to explore as long as possible before returning to the same routines back at the Palace. Now Frerin’s rebellion swapped for watching his big brother melt more and more into a puddle for the adorable new sister of his.

Just sharing your receiving the stuffed bunnies was enough to stop him from scowling for at least a little while until the next marker and task was made and marked as a sort of goal to get to for him to earn more smiles and hugs from you. A posted picture of you asleep against his side to the credits of a film had the world seemingly changing gears on how your relationship was viewed and those pictures from the first market trip you made to now came up and were scrutinized for an allover stunning relationship for the nobles. Openly holding hands and pictured doing so on top of cuddling to and from Iron Hills began to melt the public even more.

Yet nothing exploded quite like a makeshift couple’s card to join the other clan cards from the Palace to announce the coming break to be joined by the other holiday cards sent to the public. You on a walk in the palace glowing gardens casting the outline of you in neon lights coming from the foliage around you. Tucked in your palms was Sir Burglar with Bagheera nestled on your shoulder and Thorin behind you. Arms draped around your middle smirking through the stolen kiss to your cheek that triggered the stunning smile across your lips, that once it appeared on the news show all the Durins in the film room watching the premier and reactions turned their heads to the boys now ducking behind the pillows they were holding. Squeals, literal squeals and elated shrieks came from the news anchors and crew who took the unique image apart inch by inch for how absolutely loving and affectionate it revealed you both to be.

Rivaling the cuddling pictures Vili and Dis had given from their own wedding ceremony including a pillow fight battle picture when the boys were nearly knew high of their palace apartment coated in feathers. The nobles in their generation were growing more personable and less rigid. And now in what would have been the hardest union to understand for the public between Elf and Dwarf lines, First Borns at that, proved to be just like any other pairing of Ones warming up to a future together to bear the troubles ahead with trust and love between you. The picture while being stunning also granted the jeweler experts a chance to get a better in focus image of those rings you were wearing to try and guess their meanings by everything from metals to cut and clarity.

Overall the public ruled its preference that much like Dis and Vili’s picture with them in the kitchen and the one for Dwalin, Balin, Bella and their Billi, the latter being shown the ducks by the fountain on the grounds, casual candid snapshots where the family seemed to be oblivious of the camera were absolutely adored. Even King Thror and Queen Niro were captured by the fire in their nightly reading and crossword book session cuddled together in a loveseat with matching slippers that even they had to adore the moment the boys captured of them. The coming week would be tough for their clan and people to understand the changes coming but these have a sense of hope that everyone could get through it together and share more moments and new beginnings when this holiday had passed.

Practically shaking inside one of the many Baggins smials in the Shire behind his loving wife Clover readying the tea leaves Ganir came up behind her smoothing his hands down her arms from her shoulders. “My precious Ukrad, surely this is safe. Malachite has been given word from the Crown Princess herself that none will harm her.”

Clover retorted, “That isn’t what you said yesterday, and now I’ve cracked two of my tart crusts, which I never so much as dented before. And all my doilies are being properly cleaned by Lobelia, who won’t have them back by next week at the latest. Now we are entertaining royalty and I have no doilies!”

“I know I was concerned, but that was before Malachite shared her talk with the Crown Princess. I never imagined the minor burn could count as the one to break the curse, yet all this time she has been kindly treated by the Durins. Surely it is as Her Young Majesty has stated, Mahal would never call for a child to be sacrificed, Durin’s animal guide has found her for companionship, surely there is some deeper knowledge of the roots of our inner living stone.”

She sighed and said, “She was meant to get a degree, not two husbands.”

“Well this is only the courtship talks. In some instances it could take years for an affection to form to stir a courtship. We complete the talks for a possible courtship and then she is allowed to wear her bond markers and they can keep a friendship until a relationship is agreed upon between the three of them.”

She sighed again, “She’s not allowed to get married until after her degree, four years after her degree, so she can be through her residency.”

“That can be added to the terms, admirable terms, they are all young. Surely the Durins will agree to granting their boys more time as well. Malachite shared she knows little of the boys beyond time the Crown Princess is with the three of them together, that is a sign that there is ample time for a later courtship and union.”

There was a knock at the door and she gasped turning for the oven, “The rolls aren’t buttered yet!”

His grin spread and he hummed, “I will fetch it, my precious Ukrad.”

To the door he went opening it to find an aid there with head bowing to the burly fiery haired Dwarf with braided beard and hair in a long ponytail that shifted in his returned head bob, “Ganir and Clover Baggins residence?”

“Yes,”

He grinned, “Good, just have to double check, there are several Baggins’ dwellings, had to be certain. Just a moment.” Turning to give the signal to the Driver that let Regent Crown Prince Thrain and Regent Queen Diaa out for the stroll to the door and inside. Pleasantries were traded and into the sitting room chairs they all settled around the tea table loaded with ample treats and goodies.

Thrain spoke first to break the silence, “First off I believe we should start here, our Crown Princess Under the Mountain Jaqi has guaranteed the safety of your daughter Mal, or are you preferring Malachite.”

Clover answered, “She prefers Mal outside of our family home.”

Thrain nodded, “Of course, Mal has been guaranteed safety and even without that, no matter the circumstances between our clans we would never harm your child. It has been marked by Jaqi that Mal was burned by Smaug and was returned to your cousin Bilbo’s home. That Mahal would never wish for our kin to a child under any circumstances no matter the totems given. Any other person and we may not put weight to such claims, however, and we pray you do not boast on this fact it is quite precious and new to our clan.” The parents nodded uncertain of what they might hear, “There is a pathway, Olórë Mallë, a pathway that through dreams Vanyar are able to travel to Valinor, a pathway through which after her injury was able to travel to the Halls of Mahal.”

That parted their lips, “And she has been able to travel there since her childhood, growing quite close to the Valar Tulkas and his family among other Valar. It is rather hard for her to discern how to tell the difference between most of them, however she knows their core beings and truly we entrust that it is time to look past this curse to find peace for our pebbles.”

Diaa stated, “Which is why we have come rather than our daughter Dis and her husband Vili, they have just had triplets and are refraining from travel. We do hope our place here is tolerable for the initial trading of terms.”

Clover nodded, “Yes, we understand, pebbles must come first.”

Thrain, “Are there any terms you are wishing to add up front?”

Ganir stole a glance at his wife with a grin then said, “We were hoping to offer a suggestion that were a relationship to form that any marriage would not be allowed until at least four years after graduation for our girl, so that she might complete her residency by then.”

Diaa nodded saying, “Oh that is very admirable a term,”

Thrain, “Yes, we have heard through our daughter that they have had little interaction save for when Jaqi is there.”

Diaa, “I am curious, you are not close to your line Ganir, does that mean you would wish to hold an entirely Hobbit ceremony on her side?”

Ganir, “That would be preferable, yes.”

Diaa smiled, “That would be perfect then, as we both are familiar with those ceremonies through our own clans and for any Dwarf traditions you might miss we could always split our clan to join yours to grant you place in celebrating that joy fully in binding with our clan.”

Ganir nodded, “That would be, a very generous notion. Mal would be grateful to have shared in that side of her lineage rituals.”

Through that all 77 of the Dwarf required topics were at least touched on alongside the required Hobbit 48 to finish off the parental portion of the courtship contract period. Amongst them were several points that were marked as to be conceded to the bairns, as tradition as they mainly were fit to their preference over the parents. Any other topic was able to be contested by said bairns upon a later date in their own session of reviewing all the Dwarf and Hobbit requirements upon agreeing to trying out a relationship. But for now should they wish to they would be allowed to trade bonding markers and tap one another’s marks for the second time. To at least allow the bond to settle in their daily lives inside their parental agreed upon season of consideration for a relationship to test if they might one day be romantic or remain platonically bound for their lives.

Upon the return of Thrain and Diaa to their Palace however in the Blue Mountains word to Mal, Fili and Kili had them each reflecting over their copies of the lists of traditions and terms that had been laid out in the parental terms that would be inked up and signed properly by the weekend for official records. The trio at least while the Durins in Erebor got a chance to review the terms they had all conferenced upon since hearing the boys’ marks had lit up they felt the deal was settled on a decent footing and understanding between both clans. And once they felt comfortable they could discuss possibly trading bond markers still with the comfort that they had time to decide upon relationship status at a later date.

It was Friday by the time anyone could blink and the six day break was coming closer by the hour to begin once classes were through. Everyone knew how big this was, the Crown Princess was to be traveling Saturday morning to meet her birth relatives and the tension was palpable. Though while that grew one dilemma was able to be mastered for the time being and the young Princes were off to see to it now. Target locked and spotted across the courtyard Mal sat triple checking her notes and they had to hurry before she would take off again. Smiling widely in the thankfully empty courtyard they came to a stop from their sprint over. Both sliding onto the bench across from her with arms settling onto the table. “Good Morning.”

Forcing out a grin to their joint hello she replied, “Good Morning, Majesties.” Nodding her head to the duo.

“Fili and Kili.” They said together and Fili said, “We were thinking,”

Kili, “Hoping rather,”

Fili, “That you might wish to solidify our bond sooner rather than later.”

That parted her lips, “But, we haven’t even considered terms of renegotiations for our courtship contracts yet.”

Kili, “We will, merely, you see, the week ahead will be difficult and all of us could use some stability.”

Fili, “We are suggesting to simply make the bond so we might be able to shake hands at least. The contract talks would go entirely as scheduled as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable.”

Kili nodded, “Yes, no pushing for anything past friendship now. Just think, the sooner we trade bracelets the sooner we can reflect fully upon the future.”

Fili, “Yes, how better to plan out the rest of our lives than through a winter of snow fights and fort building with tons of cocoa?”

Mal looked them over in their joint try for pleading puppy dog stares and let out a soft breath, “Just securing the bond?”

They both nodded, “Just the bond, we swear.”

“We can have Bilbo supervise I suppose,” she said and their lips parted, her lifted finger had their lips purse a moment. “If, you both agree to take up the advice column in the paper one month each until we can coerce someone to take up the job, so far every other university paper has one but they still haven’t been able to find someone to take it up and there’s a pile of letters unanswered.”

“Agreed!” They said practically bouncing on their toes wordlessly signaling they couldn’t wait for the rest of the day to be over with so they could be bound to their One already.

Turned from the rows of artwork from the children who had thanked the nice ‘Ice Queen Lady’ for saving their lives and relatives from the meeting room they were displayed in among those for the rest of the ruling clan that you had been told of on your way back from the manicure and pedicure set for you. Fresh white tips with a hint of shimmer to them would be a nice touch for the upcoming event. Still this was hard being the reason for the injuries sustained by others. Not even mentioning the possible nightmares those children might have or be having. But focusing on the beginning ahead it became a bit easier to bear. With relatives who knew to some extent what that feeling was like.

Back to your room you went and to the trunk at the end of the bed they had brought along with your clothes from your closet you walked crouching down to ease the lid open. Inside several compartments were tucked away, enchanted to hold well beyond what thought possible. Moved aside the top tray was settled on the ground beside you freeing your hands to lift the next tray holding what you wanted, a stack of journals. From the top your fingers eased across the cover of the first three packed with songs, plays and music based stories that your dad had written packed with all the notes you could find in the trunk related to his work. The next five were journals of notes from your mother on her work above the final one you smoothed your fingers across the cover with Vanyar runes reading, ‘Nique-Puifíní Jaqiearae, Wedding Drafts’ pressed into the leather with ink fading ever so slightly.

Cracking open the front cover page by page were possible choices or parts of choices for everything from locations to nicknames of what you took as your relatives to start up a guest list and seating chart. Beyond that were sketches of cutlery and dish designs with color as well in the table setting section. A whole section on music from your father for the ceremony came next you lingered through. Imagining the notes come alive in your head filling your eyes with tears that deep inhales eased so you could turn ahead to the section on the ceremony from layouts to flowers and everything in between all halfway done with mentions to collaborate with you on them. Lastly was your section before the blank honeymoon tour portion you guessed she didn’t get to. Makeup, shoes and hair were only lists of possible styles or shades with the gown silhouette she drafted.

Up to the neck and sleeveless it would hug you all the way down to the layered poofy mermaid end of the gown, the back with heavy beading of vines and leaves, the start of a more intricate pattern you were sure to cover the whole gown. There wasn’t much detail but on a second sheet you had drawn up her design and had gone farther with it. Layered into the skirt were sheer layers of red cloth overlaid by sheer white layers giving the whole skirt an upside down flower appeal. All fed by ridges arching over your hips the skirt you hoped your Great Grandmother High Queen Ilma might find nice to help you bring the gown off the page. Surely the red wouldn’t be a problem and resembling a flower couldn’t get more Elf friendly than that.

While you had been puzzled on the missing sleeves growing up you left it at that as Niro and Diaa had already shown you their drafts of possible designs for the embroidery on the ends of the traditional robe you would be clad in. All a deep red with golden thread, with a Calla Lily shaped train, tight across the bodice reaching to your shoulder blades in a slight v dip shallower than the one across your bust feeding to the golden buttons securing it. The sleeves however would help to keep the robe cooler on you in its thick material in flaps of sorts secured only at the shoulders to hang over your arms elegantly down to the pointed tips meant to touch your fingertips. It truly was beautiful, shown by the matching one Niro and Diaa had worn in their own ceremonies in shades of blue and green to honor their own clans. While you had chosen red to simply nod to your Hobbit line as mint wasn’t a lucky color to choose for the wedding ceremony and deep greens weren’t known to be the clan color of your Vanyar roots from what was publicly known, so you hoped red might be acceptable.

Still, closing the book you sighed turning your focus to Bagheera on his perch freshly finished preening blinked looking you over feeling your eyes on him. “You’d tell me if I was missing a step in all this, right?” Slightly his head cocked and down your gaze dropped to return the work journals and tray to the trunk you shut.

The Emperor however in the doorway stood there saying, “In all of this you are doing amazingly.” That turned your head to him on his path to your bed to guide you up to sit beside him, “I am so proud of you, and they will be too. The red robe will be lovely on you, forest green, no matter how finely crafted would not be accepted to your lineage, Vanyar rarely claim dark shades, unless you accept blue for the Durins if they would accept that.”

“I do like the red. I would certainly stand out,” timidly you added, “Plus, your shade is a deep crimson.”

That had his grin creep out and his arm settle around your back easing you into a warm hug, “I will be honored to have you wear our shade, you have every right to wear it proudly.”

Settling your head into his shoulder you said, “There will be a bit of hassle working the clan dances and tasks with the rest of my relatives surely.”

Lowly he chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of your head pleased eternally that even now decades later you had reached this level of a bond. “Even if you feel the need to place them in those rites I will be proud and happy to watch the ceremony all the same participation or none. It’s your day, for you, Thorin and the millions of people watching.” Making you giggle softly to his own chuckle.

“Do they like Dwarves?”

Deeply he inhaled and answered, “I don’t believe they spent much time around Dwarves to be honest. However they seemed pleased for your protection and all Oropher had shared on their race and clan. Even a bit new to their experience I am certain they will accept Thorin and his clan into the fold seeing how happy he makes you.”

In a glance up at him you asked, “Did you love your One?”

With a smile he met your gaze answering, “I did, as children, and surely I would have loved them in our adulthood as well. I know you are growing fonder of Thorin and while your trust solidifies that love will grow. You won’t be able to be timid in sharing those affections once you pass over that threshold, and he won’t be leaving you there alone either, be just as madly head over heels for you as well. Halfway there already by my eye.”

Right by the fountain where they had planned to meet her Fili and Kili stood with hands in their pockets keeping an eye out for Mal. Though at her arrival into the courtyard with two big flour sacks they hurried over to accept hold of lightening her load. Settling his against his chest Fili asked, “What’s this then?”

Mal said, “The letters for the column.”

The brothers looked down at them and said together, “Ah,”

Kili smiled up at her saying, “Ready for the train then?”

Mal nodded, “Sure, you did call to clear with Bilbo about this?”

Fili said, “Called and said we were dropping by said he’d be in and we can have Dwalin and Balin come down too for extra witnesses if you prefer to confirm it’s just for the bond and not to contest our courtship agreement talks.”

She nodded and off they went to catch the train to the waiting driver that took them to the office. There past the lobby and lift they filed out smiling at the sight of Dwalin gently bouncing Frodo in his arms humming to him calming him down from his latest tooth coming in with a frozen teething toy on which he was gumming. His eyes shifted to the trio entering the floor while Bilbo finished up another call, “What are you three up to? Don’t you boys be corrupting young Mal into any mischief now.”

Fili and Kili said, “There’s no corrupting anywhere.”

Bilbo eyed them hanging up the call and came closer to the trio flashing them a quick grin asking, “So what is all this about now?”

Mal inhaled and said, “Fili and Kili and I talked this morning and we thought it might be best to solidify our bonds.”

Dwalin huffed and Kili said, “Not to skip the contract negotiations or start a relationship yet!”

Fili, “Just to settle the bond and see where we stand through the rest of the negotiations.”

Bilbo looked between them asking, “Bonds? What bonds are you talking about?”

Mal said, “When Smaug attacked our Bonding Marks were touched and since then when we’re close they glow until we settle the bond as Ones.” She said showing him the clover on her wrist and jellyfish behind her ear that were lit up.

With lips parted Bilbo said, “So that’s what the marks do, my mother only told me it was a guiding sign to our Ones, here I’ve been popping into every shop with an ax symbol on the shop front.”

Fili, Kili and Dwain all looked at him with the former asking, “Ax symbol?”

Bilbo nodded and shifted his arm lifting his rolled up sleeve a bit more above his elbow revealing the now glowing ax mark widening Dwalin’s eyes. “Had this forever, been driving me halfway mad to figure out what it meant.” Lowering his sleeve he asked Mal, “So how does the bonding work?”

Mal said, “Well it’s in a spot your One touches you the first time, they brushed mine and did the same in hiding from Smaug. All we’d have to do is tap them again to settle the bond so they would stop glowing, and there’s a sort of deepening of trust, sort of a link between us you can’t break.”

Bilbo looked to Dwalin asking, “Your clan would be against the settling?”

Dwalin wet his lips halting Frodo’s bouncing a moment for his brain to click back into gear again and answer, “Not the settling, merely sometimes with the bonding a wish to rush things comes up. If you agree it’s merely to settle the bond and not to rush into courtship then I can’t see why their parents would be upset in just the bond.”

Tentatively the trio smiled at one another and once Balin was called down under the careful watch of the elder pair of brothers timid pokes of each glowing jellyfish and clover dimmed and formed an outline around the freckles in shades of matching pale blue and gold. Along with those from Fili and Kili the bonding bracelets in hues matching their mark outlines of woven mithril with pendants in the shape of jellyfish and clovers were traded and looped around their wrists. Hovering to the side however clinging to the toddler in his hold now dozing off again at the relief from his pain Dwalin kept stealing glances at the Hobbit clearly sharing his Bonding Mark he muttered to Balin about while Fili and Kili muttered to Mal the reason why their uncle was so focused on Bilbo.

Mal with a sudden smile asked, “So, Dwalin, what’s your mark?”

That had his eyes on her along with Fili and Kili’s in shock for her sudden meddling. Subtly he cleared his throat and blinked a couple times before rumbling out, “An ax.”

Bilbo smirked asking, “That a common mark among Dwarves?”

Balin fought his smirk as his baby brother looked at his One, “No, quite rare, especially in green.”

Bilbo, “Green, oh,” he said as it clicked in his head and he looked Dwalin over adding, “I wouldn’t suppose you know how to juggle, an old demand I expected of my One when I was a fauntling.”

Dwalin, “I used to often, but I can pick it up again shake off the rust.”

Bilbo gave him a curt nod replying, “Practice first, then we’ll talk, since there seems to be need of contracts.” Turning for his desk hiding his pleased grin at having such a handsome and kind Dwarf all his own to be bonded to. While Dwalin held his own bashful grin for the hint of opening terms with his One he could now confirm his hopes he’d shared with his parents and brother on his brewing affections and bond for Bilbo and little Frodo.

Balin smoothed his hand across his brother’s back in a silent symbol of pride then said, “Now boys, you have a ride to the Palace for tomorrow to be on time for supper and allow Miss Mal to get to her studies and start off her break properly.”

Mal glanced at her watch, “Ooh, not studies but I do have to go. Helping with the new medicine shipment to cover for Tallep.”

The boys nodded and said, “We’ll drop you on the way. Bye uncles, Bilbo and Frodo!” Filing into the still open lift waving to the room to get her to the car and work on time. The full ride they shared their plans for the trip to Greenwood, after which they could plan a stop together for lunch or something casual.

Fili’s eyes popped a bit wider on the car’s stop at the vet’s office, “Mal, hey, um, can we give Jaqi your number?”

Kili nodded, “Right! She said she forgot to ask for it and the school social page is swamped lately to reach you.”

Mal, “Oh sure, ya, I wasn’t sure if I could ask for hers or not.”

Fili, “Oh don’t worry about that. You’re friends and close to family now.”

Halfway to blushing she said, “I wouldn’t say family yet. My parents said it’d be after I graduate and finish residency for any engagement at least.”

Kili waved his hand, “As if that would stop the bond. We will be friends first but even then we’re still practically family.”

Fili, “You can always come to us no matter what.”

Mal nodded and paused asking, “She’ll be okay this weekend? She seemed nervous.”

They both said, “We’ll look after her. Big, meeting of clans and we rarely get to go to Greenwood aside from Great Gramps.”

Tenderly the boys took her hands saying, “We’ll be there. You just relax and we’ll tell you all about it when we get back.” She nodded and her hands were released in her slip out of the car to hurry inside allowing them to signal the driver to head to the Palace.

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars, @otakumultimuse-hiddlewhore, @mariannetora, @shes-a-killer-kween, @ggbbhehe4455, @xxbyimm

Hobbit/LotR – @abiwim, @jotink78, @pastelhexmaniac

x Thorin – @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @queenoferebor

#Fili/Kili x OC Mal #Durins meet the Baggins #Meeting of possible inlaws #Emperor Winge #King Thror #Thrain and Diaa #Memory Lane #Gifted Drawings #Prepping for the big trip #dwalin x bilbo #Frodo #Bonding Marks #Plans #Hobbit

13 notes · View notes

worlds-smallestviolin · 4 years

Text

Mother

Masamune x MC

genre: angst/fluff

word count:2208

summary: retelling of Masamune’s love’s union gacha story from MC’s POV

a/n: It always bothers me how MC just decides to stay in past without care about her family, so for stories sake let’s assume Sasuke went back to the future.

With everyone asleep, Aoba was a quiet place; quite a contrast compared to how loud and lively it was during the day (it is Masamune’s castle, after all). Having changed into my sleeping robe, I was sitting on the futon, waiting for my lover to join me ( I’d say to sleep, dear reader, but we both know that would be a lie.).And my handsome Masamune was still at his desk, working despite the late hour. He may be a wild tiger, but he took his responsibility as a head of the clan very seriously. He did everything he could to make life easier for the people of Oshu. And I’m not just talking about him going to war or battling demons of paperwork. I mean little things as well, like cooking a meal for his men on patrol, or writting letters to his vassals to thank them or simply talk about what’s been going on lately. “You shouldn’t write in the dark. It’s bad for you’re eye.”, I broke the silence hoping to convince him to put down the brush for tonight. “I know, I know. I’ll be done in a second. You just wait for me like a good kitten”, he said, raising his head to flash me a smile that made my heart skip a beat or two. “Meow!”, My god, I’m such a dork. I hugged my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth. Masamune returned his attention to the letter he was writing, and again silence settled in.

Having nothing else to do but wait, I soon got lost in my own thoughts. Some time has passed since I started living here in Aoba. It still surprises me how quickly I’ve gotten used to the life here. Masamune encouraged my worked as a seamstress. He had a room prepared for me, where I could sketch and make clothes; I already had a few clients. He would often keep my drawings to hang on the wall, always repeating how much he loved my art. I’ve made friends with maids, and Kojuro and guys were always there to lend a helping hand. I spent my free time with Masamune, getting into all sort of adventures, and sometimes troubles. We would go for a ride, or a walk around town, we ate delicious food, we cooked together, we laughed and we made love. All in all, life was good. I remember how nervous I was in the days before we left Azuchi, worrying if I would be accepted in Oshu as I was among Oda. Not to mention that I’m still not completely used to the life in Sengoku period. Yes, things are great so far. But from time to time, I can’t help giving voice to my old insecurities. What happens if this doesn’t work out? The picture of my parants forms in my mind, only to slowly morph into that of Masamune and I. And their insults and shouts fall from our lips, that so far know only sweet kisses and sweet nothings. No, I don’t want to think of that.

I quickly try to banish those thoughts back into the dark corners of my mind. Luckly for me, a voice calls from outside our room. “Pardon me for the intrusion this late at night, my lord. There is a letter from Lady Yoshihime.” Masamune receives the letter and tells both man to get some rest. Once we are alone again, I couldn’t help voicing my curiosity: “Who’s Lady Yoshihime?” “My mother.”, he says, and something about his indifferent voice makes me feel uneasy. “I’ve noticed she doesn’t live in the castle with us…”The first day I came here they held a feast to celebrate Masamune’s return and my arrival, where Masamune introduced me to a lot of people that are important to him. You’d think that his mother would be among them. “She poisoned me when I was young. There’s messy politics with her side of the family, so it seemed best we live apart.”, he said it as if he was informing me about the weather outside.“I’m sorry, WHAT?” I misheard that, right? He did not just say his mother tried to have him killed. I stared at him, trying to process what he just told me. “It’s not that strange. When it comes to the succession of a clan, things often get ugly. With the loss of my eye, she must have thought I wasn’t fit to be the head of the Date and decided to take matters into her own hands.” Shock quickly turned into anger. She tried to kill her own child because of something that wasn’t his fault, something he couldn’t change. For a moment, I thought of my own mother, who believed motherhood to be the most sacred and joyous role a woman could have, who loved and supported unconditionally and would give up anything and everything for her children. I could not imagine how difficult it must have been for Masamune, being sick and losing your eye. And the one person who was supposed to love him more than anyone betrays him like that. My heart filled with sorrow. It must have shown on my face, because Masamune tried to reassure me with a smile: “I barely remember it. Must not have been that bad, or I wouldn’t have forgotten, right? If I let it trouble me, I wouldn’t be fit to be a lord, and that would only prove my mother right.” His words reminded me of what Master Kosai told me about Masamune. “One who would stand above others must be most strict with oneself. They must work as hard as their hardest workers and be always deserving of the praise their station affords them. Their pain they must learn to bear with on their own, for they will at times be alone. Those were the lessons I instilled in that young child. He survived by embracing what I taught him. So much that he no longer needs to ‘act’ to be the ideal leader from his lessons. But our nature is unchanging. In the deepest part of Masamune’s heart that injured young child remains.

Having read the letter, Masamune joined me on the futon. Smile on his face, he patted my head. But for a moment, a mere second, I saw something in the depth of his eye. You never tamed you’re demons, Masamune, you just kept them on a leash. And the wounds of heart are never quick to heal. You could try to ignore them, you might even forget them. But they remain there somewhere, waiting for a chance to overwhelm you. And if you cannot entrust them to anyone else, at least entrust them to me. So I pulled him down to bed with me, holding him close to my chest, his cheek resting against my breast. I run my fingers softly through his hair. “I want you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say. I love you, so you don’t ever have to hide how you feel when you’re around me. You’re not my lord, Masamune. You’re the man I love; a fun guy who acts all cool but has the most adorable blush, the one who can kiss my heart into a full stop and then restart it with a touch, someone who always protects me and encourages me. And I will always be here for you. So leave the perfect leader outside this room, and just be my Masamune.” He tried to protest but, I wouldn’t let him. Then he turned his face from me, and for a moment I thought he might cry. But after a while he met my eyes again. “I’ll try.”, he said with a smile. I guess old habits die hard. “That’s a start.” I kissed his forehead and continued running my fingers through his hair. Eventually I felt him relax as he drifted to sleep. But my brain was too busy for that. I was angry at Lady Yoshihime, I was sad for Masamune. And in the stillness of the night, my mind wandered to that dark corner again. I was afraid.

Hearing about Masamune’s mother made me think about my own parents. I knew they must be worried about me. Sasuke promised to deliver my letter. Hopefully, that will ease their hearts. It wouldn’t be the first time I disappeared of the radar. They were good parents, for the most part. Well, when it comes to my father, the best I can say is that he tried. He never failed to tell me he loved me. I never once doubted it. But he wasn’t the easiest man to get along with. He had his opinions and his expectations, and those were set in stone. Being his eldest child, the bar was set especially high for me. He worked two jobs to save money for my education. And though he never understood my passion for fashion, he supported me, so long as he didn’t have to listen to me talk about it. He never raised his hands on us, but his anger was something to be feared. My mother, on the other hand was a saint. I’ve never heard her raise her voice. No matter what troubled her, she always wore a smile. She was the one who took care of us when we were sick, fed us, helped us do homework or study for exam, attended every parents meeting, every school play… She was there to listen to us for hours and comfort us. She was there for every tear and every smile.

But as good as they were in their roles as parents, they were the worst couple I’ve ever seen. I could count the times I remember seeing them being affectionate towards each other on the fingers of my hands, if those hands were in a terrible accident and were missing a few fingers. Instead, there were fights and shouting, and then days of them ignoring each other, and us walking on eggshells around them. They would act more affectionate towards me and my brother, as if they were competing for our love. And it was always about something small and insignificant, a misplaced item or misheard word. It always ended with the ‘talk’ where my father would insist they just forget and move on. There were never any apologies, they never talked things through.

My parents didn’t marry for love, or at least if they did it was quickly spent. They did their best not to let their fights affect the kids. My childhood was for the most part a happy one. But the older I got, the more I noticed the cracks that began to show. They were not happy, although they stubbornly maintained that illusion. What makes someone choose to stay and live a life next to a person that makes them miserable? Why don’t you just leave him? I heard my aunt say to my mum one time. I do it for my children. I could never leave them. They are my everything. Maybe that was the moment when the fear was born, squeezing my heart each time she smiled. I was causing her pain just by being, a cage to a bird who otherwise could simply fly away. And I started to wonder if one day I too will be like that. “Mom, I love you. But I don’t want to become you.”, I said on the night before my cousin’s wedding, when the conversation inevitably turned into wedding talk, and I tell her I don’t ever want to marry. I see a heart breaking in those eyes. A single shard of glass melts and runs down her cheek; on its way, leaves my heart bleeding as well. Still she smiles: ” So long as you’re happy, I’ll be happy too.”.

The sky is still pale yellow-blue. I stared at the eye of a calm sea, and I felt calm as well; last night’s shadows fleeing before the morning light. Or maybe it’s Masamune’s touch that chases them away. He was always good at that, erasing my insecurities. Though I now know he was plagued by them too. Both of us are with hidden corners in our hearts, echoing with the words “You’re not good enough.” A doubt dwells in the back of the mind; his slumbers deep within, mine lingers just beneath the skin. Still I believe we’ll be alright. “ I want you’re face to be the first thing I see in the morning. Whether we’re at war, or everything is peaceful. I want that tomorrow, and the day after, and forever more.”, he brushed his finger along my cheek. I knew it won’t always be easy, I knew many things will try to break us apart. Still I believed in us. Whatever we might face, with you by my side, I was confident enough. “ My love for you will never change, Masamune.” He drew me to his chest, I felt his tears touch my head. The beating of his heart told me they were not tears of sorrow. I remained quietly in his arms, as another tear slides down my cheek. Mother, I’m happy now.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen masamune #ikemen sengoku masamune #date masamune

21 notes · View notes

forgeandgredimagines · 4 years

Text

Foolish 『 Percy Jackson x Spy! Reader 』

Request: I was wondering if I could request a Percy Jackson x reader imagine? Taking place during the pjo books and the reader is the spy for Luke instead of Selina. Percy falls for her, and at first she started dating him just to use him for information, but eventually, she falls for him too and has a change of heart. But before she can tell him he finds out some other way and feels really betrayed/upset. You don’t have to though, I just love your imagines and wanted to see you bring this idea to life! A/N: woot woot, this has been gathering dust in my drafts for so long. I really liked the concept but it took me a while to write something I was happy with because I’ve never really written angst much hehe but I tried my best!! I hope you enjoy Warnings: Swearing :> Word count: 2.8k

Masterlist!!

You still remember when you first joined the Titan Army. You were so undeniably naive and filled to the brim with unprecedented hate and resentment towards the gods. Towards your father, whoever he was. Towards the entirety of Olympus. Joining Kronos’ forces would mean that you could actually make a change, that you could actually amount to something. However, in a few short months, you would come to realize that that person was a fool. A dumb, dumb, fool.

You were eating breakfast when a satyr ran into the mess hall announcing the arrival of new demigods, two girls who were from the same school, but they didn’t seem to be siblings. Arriving at camp is a feat in it of itself but two demigods arriving at the same time was rare, to say the least. That wasn’t what was important, what was important was that the young halfbloods and their assigned satyr made it to camp safely.

You were there to greet them when they arrived, along with a handful of other campers and Chiron. They were bruised and bit shaken up but ultimately unharmed. Lucky, extremely lucky. They were healed and patched up and being the only camper in the Hermes cabin around, you were the one to lead them towards their temporary lodging.

You decided to tour them around camp a few hours after their arrival. You always enjoyed watching the easily impressed campers’ faces as you first show them the pegasi stables, the lava spewing climbing wall and all the other wonders the camp had to offer. You recall to when you still thought of camp to be paradise, a secret haven you never wanted to leave. But lately, it started to feel like a prison. Like you were a bird stuck in a cramped cage.

Later that evening, as the campers were gathering around the amphitheater, one of the girls from earlier was claimed by her godly parent. She was a child of Apollo. Her companion, later claimed that same week, a child of Hephaestus.

You were glad for the campers but every time someone was claimed, you couldn’t help the rage and envy bubbling inside you. Why? After all your years at camp, why doesn’t your father bother to claim you. Over the years, this feeling of hate just kept on festering and growing, until it completely engulfed your being.

It was no surprise for neither you nor Luke that you accepted his offer to join his side so wholeheartedly. It was your long awaited chance to get justice for you and the world, justice from the wretched gods.

What was a surprise however was that Luke didn’t want you to leave camp with him and his army. In fact, he wanted you to stay put.

This didn’t bode well for you. You were itching to leave, itching to go do something worthwhile, not to just rot at camp like you always have. But Luke was the boss, his word is law. You couldn’t do anything but comply with his instructions to be a spy for the Titan Army.

You stared contemplatively at the Big House as you sharpened your sword, your ears falling deaf of your cabinmates’ gossip about how Silena and Charles were caught making out in the strawberry fields.

You had been a spy for months now, gathering information and plans, and sending them off to Luke. But now, it wasn’t enough. You realized that every single detail of plans and courses of action weren’t disclosed to the average camper. The people that were entrusted with this information were the cabin counsellors, other important campers and staff members.

You pondered becoming the counsellor of the Hermes cabin before realizing that you couldn’t do that in a span of a few days. You grumbled and return your focus on sharpening your sword before your attention was once again drawn towards the big house.

A meeting had just ended. A dozen or so campers and staff members leave the big house, whispering amongst themselves, a serious look in their eyes. It’s evident that they were talking about something important. You were positively dying to know what it was.

The last people to leave was Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, who were discussing something with Chiron. Those two were undeniably the campers Chiron trusted the most. He’d never admit it, like how a parent would say they don’t have a favorite but secretly they really do.

The realization of what you have to do in order to get the information you needed hits you in a flash. You needed them. More specifically, you needed Percy Jackson.

The plan itself was simple and straightforward. It was inconspicuous and foolproof. You realized that you had to gain the trust of an important camper. Slowly, bit by bit, lowering their guard until you have them wrapped around your finger without them knowing it. They’d unconsciously tell you about their plans, their thoughts, and whatever info they could spill about the camp and Olympus, and you’d send this off to Luke and the army.

It was absolutely perfect.

Ideally, Annabeth would be this person. She was arguably the smartest camper and is the one who knows the most things regarding battle plans and strategies. But with that in mind, she might catch on to you and blow your cover. You decide that she may not be the best option, thus leading you to the next best one: Percy.

You know that Percy wasn’t an idiot, but he was certainly more softhearted than Annabeth. More extroverted and easier to befriend. He was an easier nut to crack. Asides from that, Percy was extremely loyal, once he trusts you, it takes a lot for him to take that trust away. You knew how much he tried to see the good in people, even when there really wasn’t.

You ignored the small pang of guilt you felt in your chest as you thought through your plan and force yourself to go to sleep.

“Hey! Jackson!” You call out, waving your hands out to him. “Can you lend me a hand?”

Percy jogs towards you and greets you goodnaturedly. You were surprised that he knew your name. He took in your drenched, cold state but didn’t say anything. “What’s up?”

You chuckle sheepishly and gesture towards the canoe a few feet into the lake. The water was still shallow, only reaching your knees. The canoe you were using earlier had tipped and water gathered into the it, making it start to sink. You tried to row back to the land as fast as you could but it kept on sinking until it got stuck on the sand. Well, that’s what it looks like anyways.

“--and now I can’t get it to budge.” You conclude, thoroughly embarrassed. “I’ve obviously never really done this much before.”

“It’s fine! I got it.” Percy smiled kindly and started to manipulate the water into pushing the canoe to the shore. “You shouldn’t have tried canoeing on your own if you’re this inexperienced, you could have drowned or something.”

You shrug and sigh glumly, kicking the sand around with your feet. “I just, wanted to be alone for a while I guess.” You avoided eye contact from the male but you could sense him watching you carefully. “It was stupid of me, I know, I’m sorry.”

The canoe was now back on land and dry, as if it wasn’t just submerged in the lake a few seconds ago.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Percy asked cautiously.

You looked up at him and stared at his sea green eyes. They were so soft and kind. Your chest panged once again, just like it did a few days ago, but you ignored it.

“I’d like that.”

After that day, you and Percy started to spend more and more time together. That day in the lake, you two sat on the dock as you told him about your struggles in camp, with your parents (both mortal and immortal), and with your concerns regarding the safety of the camp.

Percy was surprisingly a really good listener, and actually gave you really good advice. He actually even made you genuinely laugh a few times.

You two slowly started to hang out more, you would have lunch together, train together and just goof around.

All though you were just forcing yourself to hang out with him before, you slowly started not to dread seeing him. It didn’t feel like a chore to spend time with him anymore. You would never admit it, but you actually looked forward to when you would see the son of Poseidon next.

He wasn’t all that bad, in fact, he was actually really fun. He didn’t make you feel like an outsider, he actually listened to you and you listened to him.

He made you laugh, and momentarily forget your woes, your mission, that this was fake, that your friendship wasn’t real.

Over the weeks, and soon months, the pangs of guilt taking root into your heart and conscience just kept increasing in intensity and frequency. But you keep on ignoring it, you knew where your loyalties lie, you already picked your side.

“--okay this is really hard, why is this so hard? Oh my gods, what the hell?”

You place your hand on Percy’s shoulder and stop him from rambling even more. You two were on the docks again by the lake. It was a secluded area and where you two first got close, it was where you two usually met up.

“Calm down, dummy. What is it?”

Percy took in a deep breath and said softly. “I like you...”

You take in a sharp intake of breath and heart began to pound as your cheeks began to heat up. You felt...*happy.*

“Wha-what?” You mutter out, completely flabbergasted.

“I said I like you! And you don’t have to say anything else, I just wanted you to know because I’ve liked you for a while now. Even before we became close I already thought you were really pretty and I always wanted to talk to you so I was really glad that we became friends and---“

Percy’s rambling started to fade out as a background noise as you realized what this meant.

It felt as if a million thoughts were flying in your head. All contradicting each other, all colliding and butting heads.

Your brief moment of joy was replaced by the guilt, the regret, which was more intense than ever. Your heart pounded even more, but this time it hurt with every beat.

Tears prickled in your eyes. “I--I like you too.”

Percy’s rambling was cut off short, his cheeks too were dusted pink. “Really? Oh my gods, I can’t believe it, wait, why are you crying?”

You didn’t realize that your tears started to pour freely. “Are you okay?”

I’m sorry.

“I’m just really happy.”

I’m so sorry.

Percy grinned sheepishly and embraced you tightly. Which only made you feel worse as you cried silently into his shoulder.

You were now dating Percy Jackson. People congratulated you, patted you on the back and wished you two the best. You even started to get closer with Annabeth and Grover. Things were going great, they were unfolding just as the plan said it would, it was going better than expected actually. Yet, the dull ache in your chest never seemed to cease.

Even as Luke commended you for your work, praised you and made promises that would normally have make you ecstatic, the pain never stopped.

The only time it stopped was when you were with Percy. When he holds your hand, wraps you tightly in his arms, only then does it stop.

When he kisses you, and whispers sweet nothings, only then do you feel at ease. He made you forget, just as he did before you two were together.

You found yourself seeking out for him, even when you didn’t need any new info to pass through to Luke. You began to seek his presence, his touch, his love.

It was like a disease spreading throughout your being. A poison injected into your bloodstream and it was without a cure.

You started to love him.

With each passing day of genuinely loving him, the feeling of guilt and shame tripled. You were trapped, you dug your own grave.

You didn’t know how many times you cried yourself to sleep, or how many prayers you’ve offered to the gods. You just wished for all of this to be over.

When you were with Percy, you liked to pretend that you two were just regular people. Mortal people, with normal lives where all you had to worry about were college entrance exams and assignments. And everything was okay, for a moment, all that mattered was that you were with him, and that was enough.

The spell wore off when you were alone. And you’re back in reality again and the guilt comes back in waves, always increasing in strength with each one.

How could you be so foolish?

“Hey where’s Percy?” You ask around camp, most of the campers shrugged and told you they didn’t know. It was still early in the morning, he was usually out and about at this hour.

“He and a couple campers left a few hours ago.” A nymph answered as she stared at her reflection in the lake, stroking her hair absentmindedly. “Someone came and said they spotted a couple members of the Titan Army near camp.”

You pressed your lips together disappointedly and thanked the nymph. You spent the morning in the strawberry fields as you thought through your new, more morally ethical plan.

Your mind was clear for the first time in months and your chest ached less frequently. You hadn’t been this calm since before being with Percy.

You supposed that you had subconsciously chosen your true side when you started feeding Luke false information a few weeks ago. But now you truly accepted it, you knew what you had to do. It was only right.

You realized that Percy might not want to be with you anymore once you tell him the truth and although the thought of it hurt, you knew that it was for the best. He deserved better than you anyways.

He would hate you. Well...you supposed you deserved it. You had it coming after all.

A small part of you still hoped though, that he might forgive you, that he might still want to be with you...that maybe he might still love you.

You were sitting on the dock when the sun was about to set. You were absentmindedly flipping through an old manual written in ancient greek, your mind elsewhere, when someone began to approach you.

You quickly recognized the footsteps and jump up to greet Percy.

“You’re back! I was so worried about you, they said--“ You go to hug the male but he backed away.

His head was low, his jet black hair covering his face. You took in his disheveled appearance. His clothes were torn in places and singed in others. His leg was bandaged and his arms were covered in cuts and bruises. They stayed locked at his side, his fists were clenched and shaking slightly.

“Percy what’s wrong--“

“I know.” He says, practically whispering, his voice wavering. “They told me, they told me everything.”

“You what? What do you mean--?” His face whips up and you knew what he meant even before he said anything.

His eyes, which used to be filled with joy and affection when they were on you, were now wounded. The pain was evident, the betrayal in them as clear as day.

“How could you?!” He cries out, his voice loud and shaking. “We trusted you, I trusted you.”

You take a step forward, he takes one back. Your hand starts to move on their own, inching its way to wipe the hot tears from his face.

He slapped it away. “Don’t fucking touch me!” He spits out. His eyes, no longer pained, but cold and hard.

It hurt, not the slap, but the way he looked at you. Like you were the lowliest scum of the earth.

He finally sees you as you truly are. You thought bitterly to yourself. It’s what you deserve anyways.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Percy, please, I can explain.” You plead as tears began to flow freely down your cheeks. You were shaking now as well.

As much as you tried to plead with the son of Poseidon, you knew deep down that it was of no use. The damage was done. And you couldn’t do anything about it.

You couldn’t believe how much of a fool you were.

227 notes · View notes

marjansmarwani · 4 years

Text

Secret Smiles

[Ao3 Link]

Characters: Paul Strickland & TK Strand

Word Count: 2203

Paul knows TK is hiding something. He even knows that it has to do with a mystery man he's seeing, but he cannot figure it out past that. Until a night at a bar when a certain officer of the law shows up, that it.

This one was taken from one of @lauraperfectinsanity‘s Tarlos prompts (it’s number 2). I changed it a bit, but I think it’s still pretty close to the spirit of the thing, which was Paul figuring out that TK is secretly seeing Carlos.

------

Paul hated not knowing things.

Knowing things was kind of, well, his thing. Often it meant situations; who did what and what caused that. Sometimes it was just simply facts – he can’t help that he was a voracious reader with a memory like a steel trap. But it also meant people, and his friends and teammates were certainly included in that.

When he first started at the 126, Paul had been on his guard. Each of his new teammates had been subject to his own threat assessment. His brother had always chided him for it – telling him he needed to have more faith in people. But faith in people could get you hurt, so Paul instead chose to be strategic. He decided who it was safe to share information with and how much detail each person could be entrusted with.

It wasn’t easy, but it had kept him safe.

So, he examined and observed each member of his new crew in turn. Captain Strand and TK had been first, and he began his analysis the moment he entered the room for his interview. He quickly deduced that the Captain was sincere, that he harbored Paul no ill-will. TK was quiet during the interview, but when he mentioned identifying the people who wanted to hurt him before they did, he noticed a small smile that spoke of understanding and comradery. Paul allowed himself to relax – neither of these men were a threat to him. In fact, TK Strand might just be a kindred spirit – someone else who had faced hate because of who they were. In the end, it’s a large part of the reason he accepts the Captain’s offer – he knows that he will have allies in this journey; he won’t have to fight this particular battle alone.

The rest of the crew is easy to read, and soon he feels comfortable; at home. Within the walls of the firehouse things are safe, he can let his guard down. Not that there is too much to analyze anyways. The general rule is openness: they’re a family, they tell each other things.

Which is why he almost doesn’t realize TK is hiding something, at first. He’s not sure exactly when he notices but once he does, he picks up little hints everywhere. Maybe it was the first time he heard him abruptly change the subject. Or the time he noticed that the tale he told Judd about how he had spent his night off and what he told Marjan were slightly different. There were small inconsistencies in the details. In Paul’s experience, that usually meant it was a lie.

First, Paul is concerned. He can’t help but wonder if TK is in some sort of trouble, if there is something wrong that he doesn’t want to share with the rest of the team. So he watches, looking for signs of trouble and quickly comes to a very different conclusion: TK has a secret boyfriend.

It’s glaringly obvious once he knows to look for the signs: secretive texting under the table, small smiles when he checks his phone, late-night phone calls when he thinks everyone else is asleep. All the times that he disappears when they go out as a group, or when he makes excuses and doesn’t come out at all – especially when he is far too tired the next day to have actually gone home to sleep as he claims to have done.

He has a secret boyfriend, that part is obvious. What’s not obvious is why this is a secret. TK doesn’t generally come off as a secretive person. He knows it’s not an issue about coming out – TK is very open about his sexuality. Maybe the other man is not fully out? Maybe it’s someone TK feels like he shouldn’t be dating (Paul can’t imagine why that would even be a thing, but stranger things have happened, he supposed).

It wasn’t until a few weeks later and a conversation in the gym that Paul finally got an answer. He was stressed and anxious and feeling very out of his comfort zone with this whole Josie thing, and he hadn’t meant to snap at TK. But he was frustrated, and he took it out on his friend – his friend who was being a hypocrite because he was seeing someone and not shouting to the world about it yet here he was lecturing Paul about taking risks, about putting himself out there. He snaps out the jab about what TK would know about rejection without even thinking. He regrets it instantly – it wasn’t fair. He didn’t know what TK’s experience with coming out was. He didn’t know anything about his history. But it’s out there and he can’t take it back.

TK’s answer, when it came, surprised him. He sat up and fiddled with his necklace as he spoke, “116 days ago, when I asked my soul mate to marry me and he moved in with his trainer instead.”

Paul froze, for just a moment. He wasn’t even sure how to respond to that, how to acknowledge the level of vulnerability TK had just shown. “That’s rough,” he settled on, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” TK agreed grimly, “that was not my best day.”

The conversation moved on and TK gave him some surprisingly sage advice. Paul took that advice, but he also took some answers. One: TK had been burned by love and was probably hesitant about diving back in. Two: there was more to the story than he had shared. The fact that he knew exactly how many days it had been showed that in spades. Maybe, Paul reasoned, TK didn’t want to share this relationship because he was scared. Maybe he wasn’t ready to take that step, to make things official. Given what he had just learned – and what he assumed, Paul couldn’t blame him.

That didn’t mean that he stopped trying to solve the mystery anyways. Partly because it was just what he did, and partly because TK was his friend and he wanted to make sure that whoever this mystery man was, they were not someone who was going to break TK’s too big heart again. He was more subtle about it – never asking any blunt questions or drawing conclusions. He simply watches and observes.

He’s watching one night when they are all at the bar and Officer Reyes meets them at Michelle’s insistence. He almost doesn’t notice at first. They are good at hiding it – far too practiced in the art of not drawing attention to their closeness. But there are still tells, little, unconscious things that they do. The things they probably can’t even help. The private glances when someone makes a joke, the small smiles. The hands that linger when they cross paths – the fact that they cross paths more often than is strictly necessary. It’s almost as if there is a magnetic pull between them and they are unable to stay more than an arm’s length apart. As he watches, TK crosses to the bar for another round, slipping behind Carlos, laying a hand on his hip as he passes. Carlos glances over his shoulder at him and gives him a smile that is far from casual.

Oh. Oh.

The realization hits him suddenly. He takes a sudden sharp intake of breath and somehow TK hears and turns towards him. Their eyes meet and Paul can tell that TK knows he knows. His eyes widen in panic and he slips away, heading not for the bar, but to the door. Paul sets his glass down, makes an excuse he doesn’t think anyone even hears and follows him. He finds him outside leaning on the railing of the porch, hands clasping the railing so tightly his knuckles shine white in the dim lighting. He comes to a stop next to his friend and waits for the other man to speak.

“You know,” TK says lowly, bluntly.

Paul nods, “Just figured it out.”

He waits, but TK doesn’t say any more, so he continues, “Is there a reason you don’t want anyone to know?”

TK sighs, releasing one hand from the railing to run it down his face anxiously, “No, not really,” he says uncertainly. “It’s not like we're not both single and out. Christ, we don’t even work together – there is no actual reason to keep it a secret.”

“Then why do you?”

“I don’t know.”

Paul scoffs, “Yeah, you do.”

TK glares at him and Paul raises an eyebrow. TK rolls his eyes but concedes his point, “Okay fine, I do.”

Paul waits, allowing TK the time he needs to gather his thoughts. The sounds from the bar drift through the windows, fighting for dominance with the sound of the crickets surrounding them. When TK’s voice breaks the silence, it nearly startles Paul.

“You remember how I mentioned that my last relationship ended badly, right?”

Paul made a sound of affirmation and TK continued, “I just…I wasn’t ready to jump into another relationship so soon. I was pretty sure I was never going to be ready to jump into another relationship again, actually. This thing, with Carlos, started as a hookup. I figured it would be a one-night stand, we’d both burn up some energy and frustration and move on, but he was stubborn. He wanted more and he pushed. I tried to resist, tried to stay away, but I couldn’t. Now, here we are – and I’m even sure where exactly here is.”

Paul studied his friend. His expression was tense, but even in just speaking about Carlos, his body language had relaxed. He may claim that he didn’t know what they were, but Paul would put good money on how exactly TK felt for the officer.

“Is that why you didn’t tell anyone?” he asked instead.

TK nodded, “I don’t really know what to tell, but there is also this part of me that just feels like once it’s out there – once it is no longer ours – I won’t have control of it anymore, and I won’t be able to deny what it is. I’m just…not sure I’m ready for that yet.”

Paul took a step closer and leaned on the railing next to TK. He chose his next words carefully, “I’m not going to tell you what to do or what to feel, but from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re already there, and I think that’s a good thing. You seem lighter when he’s around, even when you’re just talking about him. You care about him and if I had to make a bet, I’d bet he cares about you to. So, I’m not going to say you have to make a big announcement or anything, but maybe just keep that in mind. Maybe start letting go of the reins, just a bit and see what happens.”

TK turned to face him and raised an eyebrow, “is there where you tell me something about nothing that is important is without risk or something?”

Paul scoffed, “Nah man, I don’t do clichés.”

TK laughed lightly, and Paul continued, “I’m just saying, maybe see where this goes. I don’t know Officer Reyes that well, but I don’t think he’s a bad guy and I know he doesn’t want to hurt you. It’s going to be scary, but maybe let it play out. Besides, if the worst does happen, you have people to lean on.”

It was quiet for a long moment before TK responded; his voice soft, “That was good advice.”

Paul nodded seriously, “I don’t do subpar advice. Besides, I owe you. You helped me out with the Josie thing, and that’s what family does, right? Look out for each other.”

TK turned again, a soft smile on his lips, “Yeah, I guess it does.”

They stood in companionable silence for a few more minutes before Paul spoke again, “So, do we wait and go in at separate times, or do we go in together? I’m new to this whole clandestine relationship stuff. I am not familiar with this life of intrigue and secrets you’ve been leading.”

TK rolled his eyes, “Stop exaggerating, we don’t need to hide anything. If people draw conclusions well, maybe a conclusion needed to be made.”

Paul raised an eyebrow at the implications, “are you saying you’re going to come clean? Tonight?” he shook his head, “Man, I know my advice is good, but I didn’t think it was that good.”

“I’m saying,” TK said over him, “that maybe I should be a little more open. I feel bad lying to family, after all.”

“Do I get to say told you so?”

“You do not.”

Paul shrugged, “I’m going to anyway.”

TK shook his head and patted his shoulder before heading back into the bar. Paul smiled, and followed suit.

If for the rest of the night he noticed TK standing closer to Carlos, leaning into his space, giving him wide and open smiles, he said nothing. If the others started to notice as well and raised eyebrows before asking outright questions, that was really none of his business. He was content to quietly sip his drink and watch everything play out around him. When TK shot him a grateful smile as he grasped Carlos’s hand, he returned it.

Paul hated not knowing things. And this, this was a good thing to know.

Like it? Come leave a comment on Ao3!

#911 Lone Star #paul strickland #tk strand #tarlos #911 lone star fanfic #my writing #prompt fill

48 notes · View notes

chaoswillfallrpg · 4 years

Photo

MARY MACDONALD is TWENTY-TWO YEARS OLD and a BARTENDER at THE FOUNTAIN OF FAIR FORTUNE in HORIZONT ALLEY. They look remarkably like QUINTESSA SWINDELL and considers themselves aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. They are currently OPEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

tw: body dysmorphia, blood

Romantic and liberal, Mary day dreams in floral patterns and vanilla perfume. Pockets of love heart sweets and the feeling of fall leaves beneath their feet, they are renowned as a social butterfly. Born an only child to a young single mother, the pair lived comfortably in their home in Nottingham with only each other to hold. A summer romance had led to Mary, with news of a child their father left as quickly as Autumn came; slipping into the thick of night without a word of goodbye. Harbouring questions of why, their curiosity was merely avoided only accompanied with their mother’s face of displeasure. Adamant not to recall a man that had left her so broken hearted. Still, it left an unwavering feeling of disconnect and a sense of being incomplete. Attempts to not let it bother them fell short, the burden and weight of abandonment manifested in their chest, the simple question of why weighing heavily. While Mary’s father had been absent, their mother had been anything but. Lifting them up and showing them the love held in the world if only they had the bravery to seek it. It was the determination to stand tall again after being hurt that counted the most. Trying despite the odds and having the courage, strength and heart to get back up if you fall. They learnt that asking for help held its own strength and was never something to be ashamed of. Above all, always offer your own hand to anyone who may need it. Their mother’s compassion was mirrored in Mary, finding that people would always be the best part of any given day.

Stays in London were frequent, with their mother working for a high end fashion company Mary longed for the buzz of the city and thrived in the vibrancy. Capturing diversity through their vintage camera, they craved the feeling of belonging. Moments in independent cafe’s were always their favourite, hot chocolates and colourful folk from all walks of life filled their film reels. Delighting in the fact that in London, anyone could be anything. Predominantly, their times in the city revolved around glamour. Accompanying their mother to offices, events and photoshoots, Mary was exposed to the complexities of the fashion industry and subsequently the lifestyle from a young age. Seeing slim models fixate on appearances, subconsciously Mary started mimicking behaviours. For an insecure youth, being surrounded by subjectively beautiful people made them over analytical of their own appearance. Combined with their mother’s need for high presentation at social affairs, it instilled deep rooted self scrutiny in an attempt to fit into a box of idealised beauty. Mary tried to be the personification of perfection. Behaving how they thought others wanted them to rather than being their own person. Sculpting themselves to fit within the young ‘fashionistas’ they’d befriended due to their mum’s job; when really they never felt a sense of belonging. Hope of normality and blending were thankfully dashed when they started to receive their letters to Hogwarts. If anything, it came with an overwhelming sense of relief. Knowing their differences didn’t just make them odd. It made them unique, literal magic.

The wizarding world was everything Mary dreamed it would be and more. With it, they came to life. Sorted into Gryffindor, the sorcerer was keen to meet new friends hoping finally they would belong. Solitude and loneliness was never something they had an affinity for, preferring a room filled with laughter to one where they were subjected to their own thoughts and company. Luckily Mary found comfort and kinship in LILY EVANS, MARLENE MCKINNON and DORCAS MEADOWES, friendships that would last a lifetime. Holding unconditional love, they became a family away from home. Friendly by nature, Mary quickly found themselves befriending folk from different houses. Namely witch ABIGAIL FERNSBY who would gladly offer giggle water whenever Mary popped into their line of vision. Unlike their friends, Mary wasn’t the most outstanding student. Often in trouble gossiping to close friend ORLAITH MACMILLAN or from dozing off on a text book after dancing and drinking the night away at one of the Marauders famous parties. Each instance was met with exasperated dismay from teachers such as PROFESSOR MINERVA MCGONAGALL, landing them in detention from time to time. Despite their preferred desire to spend time whispering about the latest Hogwarts gossip, they kept their grades up with help of Doe and Lily. While they didn’t shine in academics, photography continued to be a means of expression for Mary. Deemed a novelty by peers, the portraits they capture are something they enjoy privately to remember their time at Hogwarts; mainly the people.

Captivated by romances, Mary dreamed in soft pinks, whispered moments and a summer breeze as it blows soft petals into the air. While some considered their air of hopeless romance a mere naivety, it was their strength. Building and safeguarding hearts, Mary was many’s confidant entrusted with secrets. Namely in Doe’s affection for Marlene, Mary always had a shoulder and hand fulls parma violets to distract from heart ache. Offering kindness and soft hand squeezes in moments of dismay. Many pass Mary off without a second thought, appearing seemingly unthreatening as they pass them humming muggle pop music in the corridors. Creating love affairs in their head, Mary spends hours doodling hearts on the corners of parchments as they imagine a happy ending with whichever boy had accidentally brushed their hand in the hallway. They fell hard and often for people who never fully appreciated them. Being taken advantage of more than once, tears stained their cheeks as they cried into their room mate’s arms. Offers of hot chocolates from Lily, help finding someone new from Marlene and the offered threat to teach them a lesson from Doe, they would all mourn yet another heartache together. While Dorcas warned maybe finding themselves was a better solution, Mary passed off the comments deeming it in ridicule. Knowing the value of connections, there was never a scenario where Mary would miss a party; unwilling to squander their chance of meeting someone over a beverage. Though, there was one connection they wish they could rewind and cut; infamous Slytherin LARKIN MULCIBER.

Things didn’t start out as sinister as many like to believe. None of them had expected for Mary to fall as hard for Mulciber as they did. Cautious words came from all their best friends lips the moment they’d alluded to their romance. Concern that a purist had bothered giving them the time of day let alone the evening when there were plenty of Pure-Bloods lined up to take their place. Still Mary fell and hard. Convincing themselves they could fix whatever was broken in his heart, they saw him as a lost soul rather than Lucifer himself. Swept by stolen moments, his insistence to keep their relationship a secret was prevalent so they obeyed. Besides Lily, Doe and Marlene, no one knew of their love affair. At least that’s what they had thought. To this day Mary still dissociates with the downfall. One moment they were encapsulated in his arms, taken by that smirk until it had turned devilish. Lips trailed to their ear the only thing they remember is an uttered ‘Imperio’ before everything went dark. The next? Found screaming in the Black Lake with blood stained hands. Lily’s attempts to sooth them fell short. Spending the following weeks in the infirmary, too shaken and betrayed to deal with the twisted actions Mulicber has inflicted. Mary disassociated, fragments only coming back unwillingly in nightmares. They’d been a fool. Shame followed them like a shadow as they caught the pity lingering in everyone’s eyes. By their final year, Mary couldn’t wait to escape. Longing for a fresh start and to meet people that weren’t so familiar with their past.

Mary found comfort in simplicity. Nights spent in the company of close friends JAMES POTTER, REMUS LUPIN, SIRIUS BLACK and PETER PETTIGREW over a drink at The Fountain of Fair Fortune, things felt normative. Though change always came at the least welcome time. An unrest lingering in the air, Mary can’t help but feel on edge. Still dealing with the trauma that was forced upon them, the idea of that torment becoming widespread was sickening. When ALBUS DUMBLEDORE came into the tavern to inform them about The Order Of The Phoenix and the involvement of many of their companions, Mary was extremely hesitant. Having seen first hand the horrors of the unforgivable curses, the fear of being subjected to more torture was terrifying. But worse was standing ideally by while others faced the same fate. Despite concerns, Mary accepted. Slowly being trained under the mentorship of CHARITY BURBAGE, they have been tasked with keeping an ear to the ground for any potential sorcerers coming into the tavern who could be helpful in the fight against injustice. While still wary and worried for their friends, Mary is trying to come to terms with having to face Larkin again in due course. Knowing he is a valued member among the Death Eaters, Mary wants to bring some kind of karma as justifications of the pain he caused them. While they fear the repercussions it could hold, facing their past is inevitable and something they hope could stop Mulciber inflicting the same nightmares on others.

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Muggle-Born

Pronouns → They/Them

Identification → Non-Binary

Sexuality → Up to Roleplayer

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education → Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor)

Societies → TBD

Family → N/A

Connections → Lily Evans (best friend), Dorcas Meadowes (best friend/room mate), Marlene McKinnon (best friend), James Potter (close friend), Remus Lupin (close friend), Sirius Black (close friend), Peter Pettigrew (close friend), Larkin Mulciber (ex-fling/adversary), Abigail Fernsby (friend), Orlaith MacMillan (close friend), Maren Linwood (close friend/colleague), Laurel Linwood (friend/colleague), Adairia Linwood (friend/boss), Emilia Grey (friend), Cassiopeia Kim (friend), Cressida Abercrombie (friend), Gilfred Abbott (friend), Caradoc Dearborn (friend), Poppy Hookum (friend), Aurora Sinistra (friend), Charity Burbage (mentor)

Future Information → N/A

MARY MACDONALD IS A LEVEL 5 SORCERER.

#mary macdonald #quintessa swindell #marauders rpg #lsrpg #trinkets #order member #alleys #the fountain of fair fortune #magic #tw: body dysmorphia #tw: blood #open #open order member #open sorcerer

11 notes · View notes

talltree-writes · 4 years

Text

I Didn’t Mean to Fall // Ineffable Husbands

Gabriel and Beelzebub try to pit Aziraphale and Crowley against each other by revealing some old information.

Genre: fluff, a little angst, f2l,

Pairing: Aziraphale/Crowley (Ineffable Husbands)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: This has been sitting in my docs since a few months after the show came out. I think I was going to try to write it all out in a formal style, but I like this better, honestly. There are most certainly many fics with some of these same tropes, but I just really like them. I have not read the book (yet!!), so if something is wrong in regards to the written canon, I’m very sorry.

-Basically Gabriel has seen what’s going on and he’s here to sow discord for C/A

-Aziraphale is in his bookshop organizing his shelf of first edition poetry books

-In comes gabriel, smug little grin on his face

-Obviously he startles Zira because baby boy is no longer under Heaven’s thumb and doesn’t expect a visit from the archangel

-“Aziraphale! So good to see you.”

-Zira just frowns at him because he knows the opposite to be true

-Gabriel just goes on

-He’s here to stir up trouble

-“Listen, why don’t we talk in the back, we have some private things to discuss”

-He grips Zira’s shoulder a little to hard in order to tell him it’s non-negotiable

-They get to the back and the smirk becomes a hard grin

-“I hear you and the demon Crowley have been getting pretty cozy”

-Zira, stunned, can only think ‘We successfully hid our friendship for 6000 years and they only find out once we no longer work for them?’

-But he says

-“Crowley is a friend, yes”

-There’s no point in hiding it, after all, both Gabe and Beezlebub saw them at that air base

-Gabriel’s smile falters for a split second

-He wasn’t expecting that

-But he can work with it

-“A friend, really?”

-He levels a gaze at the other angel

-Zira’s not about to admit it right then and there,

-So he looks at Gabe likes he’s lost it and says yes

-“There have been whispers, Aziraphale, that there is much more between you and the Fallen… that, perhaps, you’re even in love with Crowley”

-Aziraphale’s heart drops into his stomach

-‘How could he know? He hadn’t told anyone, had never written it down, had never even expressed anything to Crowley?’

-“I am not in love with Crowley.”

-Gabe raises an eyebrow

-“If you say so.”

-He shrugs and starts for the door.

-But then turns around to look at the barely-concealing-his-shock angel

-“You know, She always intended for you two to be together.”

-Aziraphale became confused. Very few angels had intended mates, it was one of the few things She allowed them to choose for themselves.

-She usually only had intended mates for...archangels

-Gabriel took advantage of the moment of confusion

-“Oh? He hasn’t told you who he was before the fall?”

-Aziraphale’s mind flashed through all of the times he had brought the subject of the Fall up, and Crowley had gotten a distant look and changed the subject, or said “I didn’t mean to fall” or brushed it off

-Then he thought of the few clues that Crowley had given him over the years. One in particular stook out. Alpha Centauri.

-He hadn’t made the connection when Crowley was screaming it at him (to be fair, they were in quite the stressful situation, and were both focussing on the Antichrist)

-She wouldn’t have entrusted the creation of an entire system to just any angel

-Only an archangel would hold that power

-There were only two archangels who fell

-Lucifer, obviously, and…

-Raphael

-Raphael, who was never mentioned again after the fall

-Raphael, who’s loss hurt almost as much as Lucifer’s

-Raphael, who had never spoken out against Her

-‘I didn’t mean to fall’...

-Aziraphale’s face lights up with recognition

-Gabriel sees this

-“I could never figure out why he Fell. Perhaps it was all apart of your beloved ineffable plan”

-Shoots a final grin

-And leaves Zira to his thoughts

-Meanwhile

-Unbeknownst to Crowley or Zira, Gabriel had gone to Beezlebub, who was also salty about being shown up by Crowley, and colluded together to throw them off and pit them against each other

-Crowley has a recording of Much Ado about Nothing playing as he reads along

-(He’s trying to surprise Zira with some knowledge and quotes and the last time he’d seen/heard anything pertaining to it was when the bard himself was alive)

-The recording scratches to a stop

-“Crowley…”

-Crowley froze, he hadn’t heard that voice since the Apocalypse that wasn’t

-Feigns nonchalance

-“Beelzebub! To what do I owe the displeasure?”

-He doesn’t work for Hell anymore-- he doesn’t have to refer to anyone as Lord -unless he wants to

-“I have heard rumors of you… consorting… with the Angel”

-Crowley knows exactly what angel they’re talking about

-(obviously, it’s his angel)

-“Which angel would that be exactly? I’m told Heaven has a whole host of them.”

-“The angel Aziraphale, of course.”

-“Oh that angel! No, I’m afraid we see each other as little as possible. Really only meet to discuss our mutual operative”

-“Are you denying that you see each other every day?”

-Crowley didn’t know how or why they kept an eye on them. He thought that they would keep even less surveillance on them as they were no longer agents of Heaven or Hell. Apparently he was wrong

-“Our mutual operative has been having issues lately. We’ve been discussing, at length, whether or not the operative is worth keeping on either side. The goody-two shoes, of course, thinks we should, since the guy is such an imbecile that he maintains a perfect level of good and evil. I, obviously, no longer see the point in it, as we no longer work for either side. The sooner we dismiss him, the sooner we can go our separate ways.”

-It hurts to refer to his angel as anything other than absolutely wonderful or to even pretend that every moment he spends with Zira wasn’t the most fulfilling thing in his life since… well, since he became a demon.

-Beelzebub, knowing the truth, doesn’t buy it.

-“Drop the act, traitor. Both sides know of your little friendship. I just thought you should know that the angel is being informed of your… former self as we speak.”

-Crowley’s brain, and therefore, his mouth, stopped working

-He had spent so long attempting to keep his former identity concealed for so long.

-He had never met his intended mate, and even though he knew he loved Aziraphale, he didn’t know whether or not his meeting Zira was apart of the Ineffable Plan, or just superb luck

-Then, he realized something Beelzebub said

-“Have you been in contact with the other side?”

-Beelzebub goes silent. Crowley is afraid he had disconnected the conversation

-He forged on anyway

-“You have, haven’t you? I’d wager you’ve been in contact with the head halo himself. Tell me, have you told Gabriel of your former identity? I’m sure he’d love to hear that his intended is not only fallen, but, in fact, the prince of hell, themself.”

-When there was no response, instead the voices from the play filtering through his speakers, he knew the other demon had heard him. And he was definitely scared.

-Nonetheless, Crowley was also terrified. If Aziraphale knew, it could change how the angel thinks of him. An archangel? Fallen? It was practically unheard of. Sure, Lucifer himself had fallen, but no other Archangel had uttered any kind of alliance to their brother.

-His own falling had been a separate, private affair. He had approached God Herself (back when God still held audiences with her children instead of sending them straight to the Metatron), and innocently brought his questions before her. When he could bring himself to think about the occasion, he thought he recalled an air of regret and sadness in Her throne room. Almost as if She didn’t want to make him fall. Though, he supposed She’d be loathe to see any of her creations become her enemies.

-Truth be told, he’d never understood why he fell. His questions had never been drastic, and not nearly to the extent She allowed Lucifer’s to get to. But perhaps any questions were grounds to fall after Lucifer’s rebellion

-At any rate, he had to get to the bookshop to explain everything to Aziraphale. His musings on Her decisions could wait until his next drunken pity party

-He grabbed his jacket and miracles himself into the Bentley

-He speeds his way through London to the Soho-based bookshop. The lights on the first floor were dark, and for a second, he thought that Zira was out and about.

-He parks around the corner anyway and got out to walk to the front door. He had no idea if Gabriel was still there

-He got his answer when he spotted the front door open. He went back around the corner and peeked to see a smug looking Gabriel step out of the shop

-Figuring both sides already knew, and they therefore had nothing to lose, he approached his former brother

-“Gabe! What a coincidence to run into you! I assume you’ve just come from telling Aziraphale my former identity. I’m sure you can imagine how grateful I am for sharing an incredibly personal piece of information with someone else without my permission. But how could I return the favor? Hmm… Did you ever meet your intended?”

-Gabriel froze

-Crowley continues

-“No, I suppose you didn’t. After all, your ceremony came after the Fall. Suppose they had to cancel it, then. Must have sucked, knowing your mate fell, but not knowing who they were. Almost as much as never knowing who your mate was in the first place. I, of course, knew, because I told them. But you already know this, y’know, since you were supposed to tell mine. Now that you’ve revealed information that was truly none of your business, I shall return the favor. I assume neither Michael, nor Uriel, have been ballsy enough to tell you who your mate is.”

-He didn’t receive an answer, but continued anyway.

-“You are familiar, of course, with our mutual companion, Beelzebub.”

-Silence

-“I’m sure you’ll be pleased to finally know who your mate is. Now if you would please fuck off and stay out of our lives, we won’t meddle in the matters of heaven and hell- especially your love lives.”

-He pushes past his former brother into the shop.

-“Angel?”

-No response

-He heads into the back

-“Angel?”

-He finds Aziraphale sitting, pensively staring at the wall

-“...Angel…?”

-“Is it true?”

-Crowley knew what he was talking about, there was no use beating around the bush

-“Yes”

-“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Things could have been so much different. Were you ever going to tell me?”

-Aziraphale looks up with a pained look

-Crowley takes a deep breath

-“Eventually… when I accepted what happened.”

-“It’s been 6000 years! Didn’t you think I deserved to know I was your intended?!”

-That stopped Crowley in his tracks.

-“You- you’re my intended?”

-His eyes are blown wide with shock

-Now Zira is confused

-“Yes… I thought that’s what we were talking about. You didn’t know either?”

-“Angel… I thought we were talking about me. I never found out who my intended was. I mean, I had hoped it was you, but I was never sure.”

-“How did Gabriel know?”

-“He was assigned to tell you.”

-Zira’s face scrunched up.

-“I can’t imagine Gabriel being the deliverer of such happy news.”

-“He wasn’t always such an emotionless prick. I’m afraid losing one’s intended in the Fall is rather jarring to an angel. And a demon, to be honest. Beelzebub hasn’t been the same since they fell.”

-“Were they someone’s intended?”

-“Believe it or not, they were Gabriel’s. Obviously, their name wasn’t Beelzebub, but Anabiel and Gabriel were supposed to be very happy together, in fact every archangel was very happy with their intended until they fell. Only Lucifer, Gabriel and myself were left to have our intended ceremonies.”

-Aziraphale got a thoughtful look

-“Don’t you think it’s odd that half of every intended couple fell?”

-Crowley shrugged

-“I’ve been thinking about it for years, and I can’t come up with anything concrete.”

-Zira muses for a second.

-“It’s not worth thinking about, Angel. It all depends on several hypotheticals of what was happening in Her brain this whole time. Something neither of us are privy to.”

-“No, I suppose you’re right, my dear. Besides, I think other matters are slightly more pressing.”

-Crowley raised an eyebrow at his angel

-Who rose

-“What matters, Angel?”

-“The matter of our relationship, my dear, and how it progresses from here.”

-“...Oh”

-Soft BoiTM becomes super anxious

-“Of course, if you would like to remain friends, that is okay. I do vaguely remember some archangels who kept their relationships platonic, and if that is what you wish, I will gladly-”

-Crowley stands up quite quickly and hugs his angel

-“Aziraphale, I would like nothing more than to create a life with you, together as mates. Romantic mates.”

-When Aziraphale’s smile lit up the entire room (literally, he was allowing some of his ethereal form to slip through the veil), Crowley had to shield his eyes

-But when the light dimmed (with a sheepish look from the still very excited Aziraphale), Crowley allowed a genuine smile to alight onto his face

-Now, here’s the thing about Crowley and smiling

-Aziraphale can count on two hands the amount of times he has seen a genuine smile when Crowley was sober

-He smirked, or scowled, sometimes he would let a grin pass

-But rarely would he truly, genuinely, smile

-But this was the best one Zira had ever seen in all of his 6000+ years

22 notes · View notes

sope-and-shine · 5 years

Text

Christmas Special: Day 24

-> Pairing: Jeongguk x Reader -> Family!AU // Fluff -> Word Count: 2.6k -> Summary: Jeongguk has only ever wanted the perfect job, perfect wife, and the perfect family. This Christmas, you’ve finally been able to give that to him. -> Warning(s): Mild language??? (I forget) // nothing to really be concerned about though

When Jeongguk was younger, he’d always had big dreams of becoming a man just like his Father. He wanted to be a good, strong man, that was kind and cared for others no matter what. He wanted to have a cool job, just like his Dad’s, and be able to take care of his own family. He wanted to have a beautiful wife, someone just as beautiful and as sweet as his Mother to have a family with. He wanted someone who would take care of him and his future children the same way his mother would take care of him.

And he found you.

In college, you both shared your 9 am literature class together for your first semester. You actually didn’t even sit next to or talk to each other for the first few weeks. You didn’t even notice Jeongguk for the first time until that one day in the middle of the class when he ran in late to the lecture, but when he was running down the steps as quickly as possible, he tripped halfway on the lip of a step and tumbled down the remaining stairs until he stopped right next to you, flat on his back. You remember staring at him with wide eyes wondering if he was even conscious until his eyes opened and the first words out of his mouth were, “Well, that definitely could have gone better.”

Your professor was livid with his outburst, but didn’t nag the boy too hard considering the fall he just had. He only demanded that he take a seat in the next few seconds or he would be removed from the room. That’s how you ended up sitting next to the clumsy boy, sharing your notes out of pity when he realized that he’d missed so much of the class already and quietly asked to borrow yours. He would occasionally make comments on your notes and how easy they were to read - he even drew a few cute little characters that made you laugh when he gave the pages back at the end of class. He then insisted that he buy you a coffee in return for letting him borrow your notes, and after a few minutes of rallying back and forth - with him insisting he definitely should and you trying your best to explain that he shouldn’t trouble himself over a few notes - but in the end you do give in to his wishes.

And that began the wonderful years that you then spent together.

From that first class and that first coffee date, the both of you soon became inseparable. It wasn’t like you treated the coffee shop like a date - but after you did become official in your Sophomore year of college, Jeongguk began to insist that the coffee date after that terrible class definitely counted as your first date together - but at the time you and Jeongguk were just starting out as friends. But as classes continued, and parties came up, and just needing someone to keep you sane in those moments; Jeongguk was the man you were looking for. Study sessions, movie nights, and even the scattered mental health day when one or both of you just needed to step back and breath for a moment. Within weeks the two of you were now the best of friends, and it didn’t take long for something more to blossom in your relationship.

Flash forward three years, and you and Jeongguk have graduated from your perspective majors, you both have amazing jobs that you managed to snag relatively quickly, and you’re now renting an apartment for the both of you. Every morning you get to wake up in the arms of your boyfriend, you get to play with his fluffy hair and leave kisses all over his face until he wakes up, you get to watch his big, doe eyes open and his bunny smile shine bright first thing in the morning. It wasn’t like you were the only one who was winning in this situation, though. Jeongguk was happy to wake up to your smiling face and your small hands carding through his hair, he loved the feeling of your lips touching every inch of his face, he loved the feeling of the warmth of your body next to his, and even when you got out of bed he was blessed with the sight of your bare legs with his shirt covering the rest of you.

Yeah, he loved his mornings with you.

The movie nights that you had back in college were now every night, usually split between Disney, Marvel, anime, or shows the both of you had started to binge on. Take out an instant ramen were constants in your lives, and it was funny just how much the two of you consumed yet continued to not gain anything - Probably due to the both of you being young, but who was really keeping tabs on this? Everyday you spent together, whether they were bad good, whether you wee sick and tired of each other or not, whether you just wanted some damn space or not, you pushed through it all so you could go to bed together in each others arms.

And that’s why Jeongguk loved you so much.

Despite the fights you did have, you would never let him leave the house or fester in anger. Despite your own ill feelings, you would always grab his hand and hold it to make sure he didn’t go anywhere until the two of you talked everything out like adults. Not only that, but when he was sick, you’d always call into his work to inform them he would not be in for the day, then you’d call your boss let her know that you’ll be in just a little later so you could make him homemade soup, you’d get him a waste bin if needed, set up his medicines, and give him a quick kiss goodbye to his temple before leaving for work.

But you didn’t stop there.

No.

You’ll come home with more soup from the little shop down the street for him and a silly little card just to make him laugh a little. Sometimes - if you don’t have time to grab or make a card - you’ll take pictures of every dog that you see just so you can gush over them together when you get home. And he loved every minute of it. To see your face light up when you show him every dog that you encountered on your walk to and from work, to hear you talk about your day as if you didn’t tell him everyday, just to hear you talk to him in general! He would never in a million years have imagined that he could admit he was whipped for you.

But it was no surprise that he wanted his ring on your finger.

He told his parents immediately that he was going to propose to you, and he took you on a weekend trip to see your family just so he could ask your father in person to ask you to marry him. Both parties shed tears, and both parties were elated to be joining families. He only had to ask you, and he already had a pretty good idea on how to do so.

The two of you loved to take walks together in the spring evening, and he figured that was the best opportunity for him to pop the question. All he needed was some help from a few of your friends. So he got the boys together, called your work friends to meet him at the park an hour before you would meet him there - you thought he had to meet with Seokjin and Yoongi - and tell them the plan and send them ahead of him with the flowers and flower petals before you would arrive.

And boy did you arrive.

He wanted to do you right and make sure you would be happy with your engagement photos, so he asked you to wear something nice so he could take you out for a date night after your walk. You walked into the park looking for him wearing a simple white, a-line, long-sleeve dress with a red scarf wrapped around your neck, and a pair of brown ankle boots. He couldn’t tell if you were wearing makeup or not, but you looked stunning even from afar. He felt his dark jeans with a light blue button down, black shoes, and a dark red suit jacket was nothing compared to how beautiful you looked. He couldn’t even imagine you looking any more beautiful - boy was he in for a surprise - but he still had a mission to do.

“Well, you clean up nice.” You compliment him, taking his hand in yours when you get closer.

He shakes his head with a shy smile, “You look even better. Shall we?”

You nod and follow him down the familiar path, enjoying the scenery around you in the peaceful park. You chat together quietly until familiar face start to appear: Jimin is the first to come up to you, saying a quick hello and handing over a rose before he just walks away without a word. You continue on despite his strange actions, but he’s followed by your work friend Ara with a flower of her own. As you continue down the path, more and more of your friends arrive to hand over flowers - at this point you have a feeling you know what’s going on - but when you reach the gazebo by the lake that’s covered in flower petals, and Jeongguk finally takes a knee and pulls out a little black box, you’re rendered even more speechless than you’ve ever been before. You knew he wanted a future with you, and he’d spoken about marrying you before, but now it was real.

You were going to be Mrs. Jeon (Y/n).

You had your wedding that winter, choosing the most convenient time of the year to get together. It was a little hectic at first with such short notice, but the both of you were able to find a wedding planner to help you arrange everything. You found your venue in a month, chose your decorations by June, you had a dress before August was through, invitations had been sent, and Jeongguk sent the food and music lists to the respective brother he entrusted the biggest day of his life with. And when the day did come, and he saw you in your beautiful dress looking like the most beautiful angel he’d ever seen before being walked by your father, he lost whatever will he had left to not cry in front of everyone he knows. But he still had you, and you wiped his tears despite having tears of your own. You took his hand in yours, and you professed every ounce of love you had for each other.

Together.

But that still wasn’t enough. He needed more to show that you were the love of his life, he needed something bigger to prove all of his devotion to you, and being the beautiful, loving wife you were, gave him that opportunity.

“Gukkie...look at how precious he is…” You cry, looking down at your newborn son resting on your bare chest. You were having your first skin to skin contact with him after 36 grueling hours of labour, and his little body had you convinced it was all worth it. But there was no reason for you to grab your husbands attention; you already had it.

Jeongguk was just doing his best not to cry after having his son come back to your room for the three of you to be alone together. 8 months ago you had told him you were pregnant with his child, 7 months ago you told him he was having a little boy, 6 months ago you first began to show his son was in your tummy, 3 months ago you were helping him unpack boxes in your new apartment, 2 months ago you were having a great time with friends and family at your baby shower, 2 days ago you still had your little boy inside of you, and 6 hours ago you finally gave birth to your first baby. He remembers every step of the way, wrote it all down as it happened so he could remember it when he was old and grey. He wanted to share everything with his son…

And now he was right here in your arms.

“Do you want to hold him, Guk?” You ask, pulling the doe-eyed man out of his deer-in-the-headlights state in the chair next to you. You giggle, “Unbutton your shirt and try skin-to-skin with him.”

He nods, standing up so you wouldn’t have to move too much after all the stress you just put your body through. He unbuttons his shirt just enough for his son to slip through, then he helps you sit up just enough so he can move your son from your arms to his own, pulling the small human close to his chest and resting in the chair next to you again. He stares down at his son, feeling the emotions bubbling in his chest where the little boy rests. Everything about him is tiny, and he’s in so much shock that he was able to create the ultimate form of love with your help.

“He’s so small..” Jeongguk whispers, fighting back the tears so he won’t disturb the baby trying his best to go to sleep. He looks to you, seeing you now resting on your side, facing him with a tired yet content smile. You look radiant even now, tired and worn out from the days activities. He’s so overcome with love just looking at you. “You’re amazing, Jagi.”

“I know.” You tease. You reach your hand out to him and he gladly takes it in his own, squeezing gently. “We did it.”

He nods, “We did it together...”

“It looks like Minjun is all tuckered out.” You comment, adjusting yourself on the bed to be more comfortable as you watch him sleep on your husband’s chest.

Jeongguk rubs the top of you hand with his thumb, “You should join him. You’ve had a long few days, so you should get some sleep while he does.”

“Are you sure?” You ask. Truthfully, you have no doubts Jeongguk can watch your little boy, but you really just never want to stop looking at him. You don’t want to fall asleep and find him all grown up just like that.

“Get some rest, baby. It’s Christmas Eve, so Santa will be coming very soon to deliver presents.” He teases, knowing the boys will be stopping by after seeing their own families and friends to drop off yours and Minjun’s presents.

“Okay.” You reluctantly agree, knowing that you’ll want to be awake at the same time your beautiful baby boy would be as well. Christmas was tomorrow, and you wanted to play with your gift all day and for the rest of your life. You settle yourself in the hospital bed, taking one last look at your son and your husband before letting your eyes close like they’ve wanted to since you gave birth a few hours ago.

Jeongguk watches you settle, warmth in his chest - and not just from his son. After years of wanting and waiting, years of joy, sadness, and high expectations, finally finding the perfect woman to spend the rest of his life with; He now had everything he ever wanted.

Just in time for it to be the best Christmas present ever.

50 notes · View notes