#If think this is kinda cringy or edgy

[envious3nvelope]

Exael has become an insomniac, He didn't need sleep, he didn't want it. His brother convinced him to rest but he never did, it affected his performance in torturing.

But... He was doing just fine...he did this before, It never affected him THIS badly....

Maybe he did need some sleep after all... but he didn't want to... He wasn't scared. No, that's not it... or maybe he was...

In fact, there were times that he did try to sleep, He had a notebook next to him as He talked to Teutates about this.

But there was a... Figure. A bold figure from a distance. Everytime he slept, that figure appear. With the halo slowly melting, drip on its head slowly making its way down to its chin, while luminating in all of it glory.

After drawing the figure, he placed it on the wall and stepped back a bit.

"Who are you..." He pondered over the figure. "Why...why do you look so... familiar."

Maybe he needs to talk to Drugia about this.

[orionhelluvaranting]

And remember, kids, you should prioritize wisely!

Alright. I had some kind of tolerance toward these two before. Hell, I had been liked Ozzie even! Unfortunately, after "Mastermind" has released I can't stand them (or the way they're written, to be more specific) anymore! 💢

Bee and Ozzie both are supposed to be that nice and well-meaning individuals who actually care about the commoners unlike the other (bad) capitalists. In fact, they're just two bratty kids who'd rather bully some loser than do philanthropy. But Viv with the standom are so desperate to prove us otherwise. And that's so annoying!

Evidently Bee is a party gal. She's chill 'n cool. But most importantly, despite of being a royal she doesn't give a damn about stupid rules. She considers hellhounds as her equals and throws a parties for them. She cares about her people very much! And of course - OF COURSE! - she'd like to help Loona and co. but... Sigh! Her paws are tied! Besides, there are more important things to do. Like putting Mammon in his place. When else could you find perfect time for this if not at the court, right? Plus, Bee supports slave trade. Just saying.

And Ozzie... Uuuggh, please don't even get me started on him! The topic deserves a separate post because it's large and I don't mean to go deep into this right now. Instead, I'm going to rant about how Bee and Ozz stand up for Blitzø vs how they attack Mammon. So we could figure their true top priority out.

<<< Tw: acephobia and occasional sarcasm under the cut >>>

How they defend Blitzø:

Say "this lil imp guy isn't bad, let him speak up" (they immediately forget about this the moment Mammon interrupts them)

Rise a hand to vote for hearing out the testimonies (and there's nothing special since M&M and Loona did the same)

Bee gives four middle fingers to the crowd of pompous nobles... Wow. That was so edgy cringy!

Geez, what a great performance! So brave,so rebellious, so selfless! These guys are the bloody legends for real! The true defenders for all the oppressed souls. I think they dropped this 👑

Cough, cough! Excuse me, seems like I had a sarcastic attack. Cough, cough!

Okay, where was I? Oh, right! As you can observe the whole defense from Bee and Ozzie seems pretty weak. It's a bare minimum. You disagree? Then let's see...

How they attack Mammon:

Ozzie yells and threatens him with a literal fireball ​immediately

"Nobody wants to fuck you!" Yikes, that was EXTREMELY acephobic* from your side, Bee...

Bee throws a dick-shaped popsicle at Mammon (fail)

"Why won't you keep fucking yourself?" Woah, another corny insult! Bee, could you please stop acting like a cringy acephobic bitch?

Bee throws a dick-shaped popsicle at Mammon again (success)

There are a lot more passion and persistence, ain't it? And what has Mammon done to cause that kind of reaction? Well, he interrupted Ozzie's speech like this:

"Shut up, you two! We all know you enjoy slumming it with the low class plebs. Unlike the rest of us..."

And excuse me, but, uh... Where's the lie? Bee and Ozz both are banging with the lowest of the lowest. That's true. Their reaction seems kinda "You ask me for facing the truth, but you do it without respect" in that instance. Like??? Are they embarrassed by being called out? Or do they've got offended because Mammon marked their lovers as "the low class plebs"? 🤨

Well, sweeties, I have a bad news for you! There's the class system in your society. That system implies division into classes - low and high. Hence your baes belong to the low one. And they won't stop to belong to it even if you pulled them out of that environment. You can't "fix" them like that. Because the moment you've got bored with them they'll be left with nothing. As far as the system is still alive. The system in whose existence you - Bee and Ozz - are involved as deeply as Mammon. And his words about the "plebs" isn't just his individual opinion. It's the whole upper crust's point of view. So maybe you should try beating up the system? What's the use of your hassle with Mammon? You don't even reproach him for bigotry - that would be valid - but for being unfuckable. This whole situation seems not like fight for justice but like expression of your personal aversion. If so, then why the hell are you getting distracted from the court where the fate of one commoner is decided?

Oh! By the way Bee and Ozz doing it right in front of Satan. You know, that horrible and tough dictator who would shut anyone up the second they dare disobey him. Defend Blitz? Woooah, nooo, no way! Satan is a big meanie, he won't allow this! Bicker with Mammon like there's no tomorrow? Ha, easy-peasy! Satan won't mind. And surprisingly he actually doesn't! Instead, he just... suggests to take the vote + facepalms a bit later. Is this some kind of punishment for inappropriate behavior or is Satan simply fine with the whole nonsense he's surrounded by? I mean, Satan has brought Sins together for this event and now these idiots are sitting behind him and not paying attention (Bel's literally sleeping!). Can't this be seen as disrespectful? No?! Apparently Satan could get mad only if Ozzie speaks the truth out, right? Great 😒

Anyway, let's get back to Bee and Ozz. They were doing that childish nonsense... and what have they achieved? Well, they've managed to make Mammon suck a d. Wow, the true heroes we deserve! Now all the imps and hellhounds rotting in poverty and slavery could breathe easily. Bravo!

And look how frigging cheerful these mfs are! May I remind you they're doing this right after the Goetias have voted for Blitzø's execution and now...

HE'S ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE!!!

What were they even thinking about at that exact moment?!

"We've failed to help this imp and now he's gonna die??? Awww, nooo, poor thing... Anyway! Let's push a dick into the greedy pig's throat! Yeah, we're so cool and edgy. Besties goals!"

And then we're supposed to hate Mammon because he doesn't care about the trial and messes around. But when Bee and Ozz do the exact same thing we should root for them? Really!?!!?

My honest reaction for all this crap:

Conclusion: The narrative (and Viv) wants us to regard Bee and Ozz as the good capitalists, although they put in almost no effort. They do the bare minimum and the standom is justifying them by lack of power and "Satan is the law". However, the lack of power and "Satan is the law" don't stop them from bickering with Mammon in the middle of the trial.

Thus Bee and Ozz prefer to get distracted by stupid childish nonsense without any significant value (and they do this enthusiastically) instead of helping Blitzø and his team. They don't try to noticeably change the status quo on a daily basis as well, even support it (Bee's slave trade). Still, they're admired by the whole fandom as if they're victims of circumstance who are simply deprived of the opportunity to do anything. And this hypocritical rhetoric is pissing me off so much.

*No, I won't take the arguments "But Mammon is closeted! Bee didn't know he's ace! She would never say that if she knew!" Yeah, she didn't know, alright... But guess who did know about Mammon being the ONLY grown-up asexual character in the whole show? Vivziepop! Oh, also SHE wrote this episode. So she was the one who has approved the idea of a "positive" and beloved character mocking an asexual for not getting laid. Therefore the fact Bee PROBABLY didn't know doesn't really make this better for me.

[confessions-sm]

I'm sorry guys but I fucking refuse to accept the hatz are in they 17s there's just no fucking way 😭😭 Pelo was either trolling and tripping or he legit forgot

Tbh it would be a terrible retcon writting wise? Because when preteens bully smaller kids yeah its bad but given how it's extremely realistic for tweens to be edgy and try to prove they're superior and no longer infantiles, the situation can be played for laughs and character showcase, like oh this spoiled tween and his friends are bullying these weird kids in cartoonish ways because they find them cringy and they want to feel cool but they slowy start to mature and get along with them. But nearly legal adults bullying 8-10 year olds is just awkward? Like just off in a kinda pathetic way, and Roy being nearly a legal adult would make the fact that he sent two little middle schoolers with his creep uncle to "trick" them a lot worse

Even just leaving this aside, it wouldn't make sense with what was Already presented of them?? Why would Jaune be worried stick that her 17 year old son is alone during halloween? And Jaune is more or less (I think less?) the age of Lila so at what age did she have that mf? And also they're clearly meant to be contemporaries with Susie and she's canonically a tween who can't live alone without an adult so yeah unless it is specifically stated on the show those fuckers aren't anywhere near 18 lmao 😭

[bambiimutt]

hiii!!! Can you do masky as a father figure to edgy emo/scene teens? 👀

Father Figure Masky

Of course I can my love!! I actually haven’t thought of doing something like this so I’ll give it a shot!!

ೃ࿔*:･

Not any tw’s if I missed any please let me know. Just some wholesome Tim! Lots of fluff!

-I feel like he probably finds you in a Library. He doesn’t go often but when he usually spots you. you’re always reading a book or sometimes drawing. He never sees your parents so he assumes you must be old enough to be out on your own.

-he’s typically in there for.. well not really anything. To get away from the noise. From the typical people. He usually sits in a corner, book in hand slightly slouching in his chair, legs crossed over each other. His satchel usually sits beside the squeaky chair, occasionally he pops a pill, swallowing down water and going back to whatever he’s reading.

-you come in one afternoon, grabbing the book you’ve been reading the last couple of weeks and heading towards your spot. But when you arrive you’re met with a few teenagers from you school. “Shit.” You’re quick to turn on your heel before they see you and try to find some other quiet corner to sit in. And when you do someone else just so happens to be sitting there.

-you clear your throat. “Uhm..” Tim looks up from his book, eyebrow cocked. It’s you. “S-sorry. Uhm. Do you mind if I sit here. I won’t bother you or anything.” He’s silent for a moment, his fingers curling at the page before he closes the book. You’re quick to roll your eyes when you don’t get a response “hellooo?” You wave your book in his face before he speaks “g’ahead” he moves up slightly and watches you carefully. He takes note of your funky hair, how it isn’t natural. The piercings on your face and the clothes you wear.

- this is all where it kinda started. You’d start sitting with him whenever you knew he was there, he’d learn why you were always here, how your parents just never treated you the greatest and the only way to escape was to come to the library.

-you finally ask him one day why he takes so many pills, why he needs so much medication. And oddly enough he feels okay to open up to you about those things.

-I think he would feel some sort of comfort. He likes that your different then others. In a way you’re like him, but maybe not so violent. And he tries to keep that part of him away from you. He tries to just be the happy him, but it’s hard when he’s been out all night blacked out stalking innocent individuals.

-he ends up buying you some art supplies. He first took note of your artistic skills from the moment he seen you. He likes the weird things you draw, it almost eases his mind to know he’s not the only one with weird stupid scary thoughts.. though you are more of a edgy teenager.. he’s just not normal.

-your name in his phone is kiddo. He probably sends you stupid fucking memes he finds on the internet that he thinks are so Hilarious but they’re actually so fucking cringy.

-Calling him dad for the first time. Yeah it kinda just slips out and he’s shook. You think he’s angry, uncomfortable but he’s in pure SHOCK. Really? You look at him like that? That’s so… sweet. He cares for you deeply and wants to see you go far. So the fact that you see him like that.. damn you might have just wiggled right into his heart.

-it takes him some time getting used to it but at some point he fully allows you to call him dad. He’ll pick you up from school, he’s always the one to listen to you when it comes to bullies at school, he buys you lunch, makes sure you have school supplies that you need. You call him asking him to pick you up because you don’t wanna be there anymore? He’s on his way.

-“can you take me to the MCR comeback concert?”

“Fuck no.”

-Trust me he’d love to take you to those things but his money goes to his medications and his house, he’d rather have a roof over his head then be surrounding by teenagers crying and screaming. Butttt.. that doesn’t stop him from buying you things that you’re interested in. Band shirts, new hair dye, comics, etc.. he even goes out of his way to make sure you have new things, new phone.. whatever you want. I think he’s taking the dad role straight to the heart.. but it makes him happy.

-if you were ever in a situation to be put up for adoption. He’s 100% willing to adopt you. But if you’re old enough to be moved out, he’s got a bedroom all set up for you.

-he takes his road trips.. and fully takes pride on the fact that he listens to dad rock. He sings horribly to the music while you groan and plug your ears, and searching frantically for your headphones “dad please! Shut up!”

-he does let you play your music majority of the time though, and he actually doesn’t mind any of it. He thinks it’s pretty cool.

-“I bought hair dye..” you look at Tim and sway side to side, hands behind your back. He stares at you from the couch before shutting his eyes and sighing “alright, grab a plastic bag and get to the bathroom.” He always dyes your hair. And he’s always wrapping the damn plastic bag around your head too tight. “Gotta make sure that dye stays in there” and gives you the meanest dad back slap.

-if you ever graduate, he’s in the back of the stadium watching you proudly from afar. And of course he has gifts for you, what kind of father would he be if he hadn’t. Once you’re both in the car he’s got a small box and a large bag ready for you. Some new clothes, items and those damn concert tickets you always talk about.

-he’s a good papa. He’d never judge you for your interests nor what you looked like. He thinks you’re super bad ass and he’s proud to be such an important figure in your life.

[proth-blog]

I wrote i script for a comic that i probably wont make because this was kinda practice and I feel that its cringy and overly edgy i rewrote it 3 times and I still feel that way but if I dont get shit on it i'll never know if its edgy enough lol anyway

Tw// emotional and physical abuse

Anguish: -going to sona's room to talk after an arguement-

Sona: -still upset about it and starts another arguement while trying to make him leave her alone-

Anguish: -offended- "I do so much for you!! I gifted you that silly brush you wanted so much, didn't I?!?!"

Sona: -teary eyed from frustration- "You want it back!! Take it!! JUST LIKE YOU TOOK EVERYTIME FROM ME!!

Anguish:"I don't want it."

Sona:"Take it. Take it. Take it. Take it. TAKE IT BACK!!!"

Anguish:" tsk, enough hysterics!!

Sona:" Of course i'm hysteric!!! That's what you want, YOU want me to look fucking INSANE!!!!

Anguish: -rolls "eyes"- " Tsk-ugh, don't be idioti-"

Sona: "I KNOW-" -trying to lower hee tone and calm herself a tiny bit- "i know what you're DOING!!! I KNOW!!!

Anguish:"Enlighten m-"

Sona:"Shut up!! I know!! I know it's all to show how much more power you have over me!!! Iknowiknowiknowiknowiknowiknowikn-"

Anguish: -speaking over her- "Of course I have more power, I am a GOD. "

Sona:"Shut up!! Shut the fuck up!!! Im not talking about that!!! Im not saying THAT!!! IM NOT!!! It's all emotional!!! Or psi-psyco- col- or WHATEVER THE FUCK!!! It's all making me look insane or-" -chokes on words and kicks a chair in frustration- " fucking HYSTERIC!!"

Anguish:" Oh dear, you are hyster-"

Sona:"BECAUSE YOU MADE ME!!!"

Anguish:"..."

Sona: -breathing heavly trying to colect herself- "......you narcisistic, ego centric, bald headed MANIAC!! You think you're so inteligent and cool- JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!......"

Anguish:"...."

Sona:".....just laught at me and the fuck out of her-"

Anguish: -grabs sona by the face- "Don't you dare tell me what to do. I let you insult me, I let you degrade me but. Do. Not. Dare. To tell me what I should do."

Sona: -becomes more agitated and free herself- "I don't care!!! Leave!! Leave!! Leaveleaveleavelea-"

Anguish: -slams her head against the desk- "Tsk....you ungreatfull little brat, I let you get away with so so so much!!! And this is how you speak to me?!

Sona: -still struggling-

Anguish: -tightes his grip- "to now say all the comodetis I let you have!! And you. You still dare to not only insult me but also tell ME what I can and cannot do?! -let go of his hold on her-

Sona: -more heavy breathing, very visibly frustrated and shaken- "I- I never asked you for those things!! I don't want anything from you!!

Anguish:"Tsk-tsk, then tell me why, oh why, you always come to me for help, hm? Why is that?"

Sona:"THAT'S YOU!!! YOU CAME TO ME!! i don't want to be near you- I DON'T-....." -chokes and trys to lower her voice- "You are the one coming to me, the only times i initiate things with you is because I know that if I do you will leave me in peace for a small while...... I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Near. You."

Anguish:" Oh, really now?~ Then leave."

Sona:"..... You. Won't. Let. Me."

Anguish:"Oh yes, yes, sure.....or maybe you didn't even tryed yet, maybe you are just all smoke, hm?"

Sona:"Fuck you, fuck you fuck you!! I know- I know what-....." -trying to breath and calm down- "Im not doing this-.....im not doing this again.... it's just the same shitty arguement every fucking time!!!"

Anguish:"Boo-hoo, how terrible!~ you never learn so I have to say the same arguements over and over again, oh dear, I feel so bad for you!!~" -dramaticly puts his hand on his "heart"-

Sona:"...."

Anguish:"...."

Sona:"...."

Anguish:"No more pety insults to throw at me. Or maybe more of your tactical forgetfullness" -scoff- "All the things i did for you, wasted, all the gifts i bought for you, watsed, all of that coin, WASTED!!

Sona: -walks to her desk and start reaching for something-

Anguish:"Why do I even put effert and energy with you? Can you at least act like you are listening!!"

Sona: -walks up to him with a small bag of gold- "Why then don't we do this? You don't do anything "for me" going forward, you also take back you "gifts", since me having them upsets you so much, and since you seem to care about all of those coins you spent and wasted on me so much..." -takes his hand and place the gold on it- "I can start paying you back seeing how much it troub-"

Anguish: -slaps her across the face and throws the coins away- "HOW. DARE. YOU." -slaps her again- "ME? Giving me your shity and miserable pocket change." -grabs her by the face again- "You are fortunate that your pathetic act before hand put me in a good mood....."

Sona: "..."

Anguish: -tightes his grip on her- ".....so I will leave and you will reflect on this conversation and hopefully learn to be greatful of the mercy I show you Every. Time. You. Speak." -harshly throws her on the ground and disapears from the room locking the door behind him-

[sillywormz]

a lot of ppl talk about how cool in-ho is and i'm not denying that he is cool. like he's objectively kinda cool unfortunately. but he's also a bit cringy. he's an edgelord. he would love those edgy memes with an evil skeleton or a werewolf in the background about how humanity sucks or whatever. whenever he defends gi-hun he gives very "nobody is allowed to hurt her...... except for me....... 👿⛓🥀🐺" vibes. i think that people in the squid game fandom don't make fun of him as much as they should

[bucketspammer4life]

☆ how the boxers were as children ☆

Hey besties, sorry for dissapearing i was busy decaying, enjoy my cringe ass writing

Glass Joe

- Really sleepy & an edgelord, he was the kid that had hair covering the side of his face in middle school

- his parents always said that he wouldnt really be able to take up boxing due to him being a natural coward, jokes on them Joe isnt scared to get hurt (physically)

- loved reading old writing, especially gothic literature, he has a soft spot for dark writing

- wrote cringy edgy poems about every crush he had, his parents sometimes pull them out to torment him

- tried to start his own band, failed miserably

- still attached to his edgelord phase very much

- if he was a teen during the 2000-2010's he def would have a edgy wolf oc and a Deviantart account

Von Kaiser

- sickly victorian child + little german boy hybrid

- his parents always spoke with permission so he also started copying them, leading to him always interrupting people by saying "can i ask something?"

- had that one little german boy outfit, along with the huge ass lollipop and dumb hat, anytime someone pulls out his childhood pictures he prays they dont whip out those photos or he will get bullied recklessly

- NEVER EVER cursed until the wonderful age of 15 when he yelled out the word "fuck" after dropping a wrench on his foot, his dad wasnt even upset he was more concerned because holy fuck his child dropped a wrench on their foot

- got sick really often, he was out here being asked to be taken out into the garden one last time before you all posers

Disco Kid

- that one kid who had a really cool dad that let him do anything as long as he didnt blow up the house

- Really creative, writing up stories with pictures, his grammar wasnt really the best (along with his writing) so his parents had to read "the addventours off the brince" and hold in their laugh

- He was the kid who performed an entire ass dance choreography to get your parents to accept the sleepover invite

- got introduced to Disco music by his dad, got obsessed with it instantly and started dancing everywhere

King Hippo

- ate glue

- never spoke with anyone, Just beat up anyone picking on him and no one messed with him ever since

- people just gave him paper to eat, fresh with colored pencils

- liked to play make believe with his plushies

Piston Hondo

- He let you copy off his homework, i think that tells you enough

- everyone only recognized him for being a smart ass, not being creative and that really upset him

- played chess a whole lot, joined tournaments and won some medals

- academic burnout hit him like a train

- for a while, art and writing was his only escape from stress & pressure, he journaled about his feelings and drew his soul out, due to this he struggled to express his feelings without words

Bear Hugger

- chased everyone around with a spider then ate it, he was so evil for what

- never actually went to school, his parents lived out in the woods and homeschooled him since no one likes walking 2-3 hours straight just to suffer in a seat

- He always had a interest in animals, him and mrs bear go are childhood friends, mrs bear met him when she was a cub, due to this he got spared by mrs bears mom and suddenly had a 2nd mom, once his family realized that their son got adopted by a bear, they kindly let the bears in and treated it like it was normal

- loved fishing with mrs bear, he taught her how to use a rod and she taught him how to catch fish with his bare hands

Great Tiger

- so called "self sufficient" When he was just used to being alone and kinda accepted the fact he'll never have proper friends

- created the most batshit insane scenarios with his clones that would make the average hollywood movie maker shed tears, these gems include: divorce, murder, crime, assault and tea parties

- talked to himself a whole lot to the point where his parents took him to a therapist

- never really made friends, Just made himself his own friend

Don Flamenco

- oh no.

- his dad basically hated him, insulted him a whole lot, made fun of him, literally just made him insecure, when he got the opportunity to escape his dad by boxing, he took it without hesitation and got out of there

- was never really home, he was always out with friends to avoid his dad back at the house

- emotional stability? Who needs that when you can ignore your problems?

- people pleaser no matter what he says

Aran Ryan

- greasy ass bitch

- his parents didnt teach him shit, you think tigers parents didnt care about him? They'll look like helicopter parents next to them when they see what aran has going on

- had bad hygiene, only learned to shower and take care of himself in the 5th grade, thanks to that and his name, my boy got bullied and developed his behavior to defend himself from people

- Always ran from school & home, he had a hide out from away from home and a bit close to school to escape whenever he had the chance, he always dissapeared for a few weeks (sometimes months) and nobody really went looking for him, either from knowing he'll return sometime or they just dont care enough

Soda Popinski

- lonely, him and tiger are the difference between feeling lonely vs being alone, he doesnt handle loneliness well

- grew up with his grandpa & his stories, always loved listening to them and copied him whenever he wanted to tell a story

- never had a proper social life due to having to take care of his grandpa + him getting concerned about soda whenever he was out for too long

- spent most of his time crying from loneliness, away from him

Bald Bull

- precious!!! Was really shy and had a rounder face that everyone in his family pinched like crazy

- extremely sensitive & emotional (he still is hes just bottling it up shh)

- stuttered a lot, think about that one "have you ever had a dream you could you can't you would you you could be anything" kid

- was really short and just shot up one day

- scaredy cat, could be scared from anything, including: bugs, darkness, thunder, needles, sharp stuff, blood, death and alcohol (he also still gets scared easily but shh shut up)

- Always snored in his sleep, inherited it from his dad

Super Macho Man

- obsessed with sharks, dinosaurs, trucks and cars, basically got obsessed with anything he found cool

- his parents spoiled the living fuck out of him, no dime left unspent on him, no quarter spared

- Always lied about having something at the playground, sure Macho i trust the fact that you have "every dinosaurs teeth" 100% never doubted you for a second

- his parents love language was money so it got passed down to him, they were just throwing money at him and fucking off

Mr Sandman

- oldest child in his family, has 4 siblings and loves them all very much, had to help his mom & dad take care of them since they were a handful

- started boxing early so he was never in school that often unless it was 99% neccessary

- slept a lot thanks to him being tired constantly from rushing around

- knows how to do hair & make up from his younger sister

[zmb1eslut]

Never healing wounds.

convinced myself I was alone.

word count: 535

warnings: animal violence, threats.

a/n: Luke Castellan's POV. First draft.

Another night without an ounce of sleep, because the summer air costumes itself as the warmth of Thalia's fingers wrapped around my arm when we hid together. And I can't both breathe and drawn on the shame. I was not enough to save her.

I draw the bow I borrowed, using the moonlight as a guide.

The best swordman in the last 300 hundred years. Yeah, get the last one for me and I'll show him why I'm tired of his fucking shadow. Distracting myself with just a dumb title to forget why I even pretend to care. She left it all for me. Us. And Annabeth is still here, and new children come every year. Everyone needs this guy. He's so much fucking fun. Worth dying over, apparently.

So die.

I shot without a warn and didnt move until the bird smashed itself on the ground. And as it's blood drained onto the dirt mine started flowing through my veins like it hadn't for a long time. I felt like myself again, just a moment. When survival meant killing, in a way, every day. To eat, to breathe, regret.

I kill myself everyday for them to live. Watch me care.

And watching me she was. I wasn't sure if I wanted to bother with awknowledgment or explanations. She was kinda nuts on her own way but never spoke out of place. Maybe she would just go back to cabin eleven, twirl her hair for another edgy prick's attention and leave me alone this once.

I hoped.

And I was wrong for doing so.

"Why?" She asked, seating nearby on the floor.

It almost made me laugh. She had a way of sucking with words that made me wonder if maybe it was me who didn't tuned in correctly. Always lacking some fundamental sense. She made me feel like I was going mad. And for cringy it felt to think, just her presence made me wanna punch a wall, a sweet way to say, strangle the voice out of her throat until the lack of air turned off the last of her half-assed idiotic thoughts forever.

"Why what?" I asked prepping for the next blow.

"Why not just use your hands?"

'It doesn't scratch me right' was my first thought. Did it even make sense? Was it even true? It was a weird question to make so I shouldn't worry that much anout a good answer. Still I did, I kept trying to aim as an excuse to not speak yet. And eventually I had no running away. "It would feel inhuman." I admitted, maybe to myself before shooting the nest.

"You aren't one." She said, and when I turned to look at her over my shoulder, she was fixed on the broken eggs like I was a moment ago. I wasn't human she said, and somehow I was many people's favorite.

"I'm at least a half." Was my first clever retort as I tried to not let her words dig too deep in my thoughts.

"So, less than one."

"I'm never 'less than'" And silence.

My night was already spoiled so I went to retrieve the arrows, put it all back on it's place, run away, hide under my sheets and never truly sleep. To wake up tomorrow and held a funeral for the bird on the floor after some camper reaches for me with teary eyes. Bury it deeply with the guilt and shame, wash it from my hands in front of everyone, and be a hero like every other day.

"Can I shoot?" She stopped me.

"I'll rather have someone teach you on daylight" Literally anyone at any point that isn't me and isn't now.

"But if I wait I'll get no chance of it being you will I?" At least she didn't played dumb. I had to sigh either way though. Was she so bad at getting cues. Yes. It won't ever be me If I have a choice, still I smiled, I wasn't a stone.

"Not my grounds, no."

"Then just guide me like they do in romances."

"Why exactly?"

"It'll make me feel alive."

[deadaccount1211]

Disventure Camp S4 Thoughts and Opinions

Another DC post.

Alessio- His personality isn't particularly boring. It's moreso the fact they made it incredibly obvious he's getting booted early. Not first boot per say. But I bet around episode 3 or 4, he's gonna find his spark as an artist and then get eliminated.

Also why do TD and TD inspired shows make Italian characters brown? I don't get it.

Amelie- She's either an early boot or she's gonna stick around for a while and get some development. I hope it's the latter.

Anatasia- A lot of ppl are writing her off as the Riya clone but I like her. I just hope she's not the main villain cuz that would be a bit redundant, especially after All Stars. I could see her as late pre-merge boot.

Benji- See my thing is, comedic relief should come naturally. Just look at some TD's greats like Noah, Lightning or Zee. They're just naturally funny. If you're trying too hard to come across as funny the viewer can notice that.

I get the show's for edgy teens but when the first thing I hear out of this dude's mouth is "I like giving head.. heheheheh." It's like c'mon bruh.

In a perfect world he'd be the first boot but he got a lot of screentime in the trailer so probably not. Since DC is all about realism, Benji better fumble Hannah. Cuz there's no way a dude like this gets bitches.

Diego- His audition tape was alright so I was willing to give bro a chance. But that scene where he was begging Spencer to hold him was cringy asf. If he's gonna fall under the "DC Himbo who only exists to be sexualized and get with the twink" Then please boot him early good god.

If you go more into his culture and personality then he can stick around.

Hannah- She's alright. Her doesn't know anything about DC bit didn't come up in the episode. I hope it's not audition tape exclusive because I think that's a really interesting thing to do with a character.

I know I said this before but please do not stick her with Benji. Have her become friends with Amelie or something.

Isabel- If an animated reality tv show character is an influencer, you just know they're gonna be goated.

James: what about me-

Me: This isn't about you!

Anyways Isabel seems really cool. The fact she's willing to play a ruthless game in spite of her religion is interesting. I think it was a smart move on the writers part to make her friends with Natalia. Which basically put an end to the "Isabel is homophobic" rumors.

I want to see Isabel as a finalist. Make it happen ONC.

Ivy- Another alright character. It was interesting to see she's basically the nice version of a villain character. Maybe she learns she has to play like Riya in order to stay in the game.

Her dynamic with Zaid is cool. I'm not sure yet as to where she places but hopefully merge.

Jade- I thought her interactions with Spencer were decent. Other than that, eh.

Logan- Diet Wayne.

Lynda- Mother (literally). Her soccer mom accent is kinda goofy, I love it. And the fact she wants to play like Fiore is interesting.

I see two paths for her character. Either she mothers her way to like final 5 or she falls flat on her face. She's entertaining so I hope it's the latter option.

Marissa- If I said I think she's the most boring girl on this cast so far would ya'll jump me? Anyways nothing about Marissa really stands out. We've seen strong tough women who want to take charge in these types of shows and it usually never ends well. (Axel)

I don't think ONC is gonna make another black first boot. But I could see her being pre-merge collateral.

Natalia- I think she's funny and I like her friendship with Isabel. "Feed the children!" lol.

She's at least making merge.

Richard- I've had enough of old men on this show after Connor's bitch ass.

He's probably gonna be a Miriam type figure for Logan and go in the pre-merge if I had to guess.

Spencer- If you've seen the promo material for DC4 so far. Then you know Diego and Spencer are likely to be the main couple. And after Tomjake in All Stars, I did not have high expectations for these two.

But so far... not overall. I don't think Spencer is terrible? Allow me to explain. The stuff so far with Diego sucks, don't like it. But the fact he's an egotistical nerd who thinks he's better than everyone else does appeal to me. And if they explore his dynamic with Jade "someone who will humble him instead of enable him", could actually cook.

"Gays pay the bills" so he's making merge.

Ted- My goat of DC4. Cocky little shit who reminds me of Ripper from the reboot. Also the fact that he's villainous and wants to play the game? Love it.

I think it'd be cool if he also tried the Fiore strategy. Where everyone thinks he's a bumbling idiot but he's actually pulling the strings.

Like Anatasia and Lynda are the side villains and Ted is the main villain. Would cook so hard.

Tristan- Did not leave any sort impression on me. Meh.

Zaid- He seems cool. He kinda reminds me of DJ, minus the crybaby part. But as we've seen time and time again on these types of shows. If someone actually has a legit reason for wanting to win, they don't win. Bro is probably pre-merge but I'd be pleasantly surprised if they proved me wrong.

Here's my current tierlist.

[littlealeta]

Why the cheesy pre 2010s stuff were much better than the stuff after

So lately, I've been kinda peeping in on old black shows from the 90s and 2000s like The Parkers and One-on-One and I was wondering, "Okay, I don't usually like normal slice of life type of stuff so what is pulling me into these shows?" And I've also been thinking about a lot of my guilty pleasures from when I was a child that I used to watch over and over again that people aren't too fond of, wondering why I still like them now, even with some of their flaws, is it because of nostalgia?

Well, I just saw the film IF and it made me think of many of the family films I watched in the 2010s and 2020s that were just bland and generic. But, they're kids films, so is it the films or are we just too old for them? I mean Sharkboy and Lavagirl and Ralph Breaks the Internet are good films for kids but not so much for adults.

And how the hell is a slice of life like Full House more entertaining than IF an imaginative fantasy?

Well, thinking deeply into my review for IF and the film Wish and many of the recent Disney films, the Pixar movies from the 2010s and whether or not kids would enjoy them, I think I'm starting to see a pattern. The thing that differentiates kids movies today from the kids movies from yesterday (I'm talking like the Rugrats films, All Dogs go to Heaven, Zathura, even a few of the Disney films) are the appeal.

Sure maybe some of us think that they're cheesy and corny and probably even more so back then but here's the thing you can't deny. They were actually entertaining. The characters had lots of personality, they were actually funny, and the most important thing, they had an engaging story. They didn't take like 30 minutes to get going, they put you into the plot either immediately or on the right beat like 15-20 minutes. And before they start, they actually introduce those characters as actually interesting characters, with personality and humor.

The stuff we have now compared to that? I personally find much worse. And I don't see how kids could enjoy them. I mean, none of the kids in my theater for Wish seemed to care for it. The humor is cringy, either it's dumbed down or full of potty humor. The characters lack charm. The actors don't seem like they're putting much effort. The writing is just straight-up generic with like little-to-no twist or personality to make it engaging. Like sure, Full House might've been generic (even the Nostalgia Critic points that out) but every character had their own personality. Danny was a neat freak, Joey was a cartoon fanatic, Jesse was edgy, DJ was rational, Stephanie was sassy, and Michelle was a spoiled brat. And they all played off of each other humorously while also contributing to some zany and sometimes relatable conflict. And say what you want about Mary-Kate and Ashley as actors, but they always seemed like they were having fun with the movies they were making.

Another thing that interests us when we watch these older stuff is that they are a product of their time. A reflection of what the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and 2000s were like. A different and simpler time without technology, when there was no mental health crisis, and the children respected their parents more. Nowadays, we want to watch and escape into something new that's not too close to our lives and while that may have also been the case for audiences back then (and maybe future audiences will look back on 2010s/2020s stuff and write reviews on how they're not that bad either), since we didn't have as much to do as we do now, I think audiences were a bit more forgiving of something slower and unoriginal and especially wholesome. There were a lot of wholesome shows that taught good things back then. And I understand that maybe some people don't want messages shoved into their face nowadays, but I personally believe there is a good place for that, especially in media aimed toward those in their formative years. And not just for them, but we adults can learn from those too. After all, none of us are all-knowing Gods.

Kids aren't going to watch and read meandering crap. Especially not nowadays I'm pretty sure. Life isn't like when I was a kid and all we had were TV, DVDs, and non-online video games. Like if you don't engage a kid in like 5 minutes, they're going to go back to playing Fortnite and Candy Crush.

When I'm watching a movie or reading a book, especially for children, this is just me, but I want to watch something with a decent pace, creativity and personality and humor.

I'm glad we're starting to see a new growing appreciation for those older corny, cheesy stuff, maybe partly due to nostalgia but also looking at them myself, they're really not that bad and there was a reason we watched them over and over again as kids.

[dustinheaven059]

What kinda stuff are you into :3

HERMMMM, QUITE A LOT!

Games, listening to music, manga, anime: You can actually easily guess from my favorite characters (An Shiraishi, Akito Shinonome, Minori Hanasato, Airi Momoi, Shiho Hinomori, Ichika Hoshino, Honami Mochizuki, Rui Kamishiro, Nene Kusanagi, Kanade Yoisaki, Mafuyu Asahina, Mika Kagehira, Shu Itsuki, Till from alien stage, Rosaria Genshin, Kaeya Genshin, Heizou Genshin, Wanderer Genshin, Hu Tao Genshin, Razor Genshin, Fischl Genshin, Zhongli Genshin, Yunjin Genshin, Shenhe Genshin, Xinyan Genshin, Celestia Ludenberg, Ibuki Mioda, Nagito Komaeda, Tsumugi Shirogane, Toko Fukawa, Kyoko Kirigiri, Kotoko Utsugi, Monaca Towa, Cyno Genshin, Aventurine HSR, Sunday HSR, Jiaoqiu HSR, Madoka MMG, Homura MMG, K-Angel NSO, Ame-chan NSO, Kokichi Ouma, Junko Enoshima, Collei Genshin, Lyney Genshin, Lynette Genshin, Freminet Genshin, Ororon Genshin, Kinich Genshin, Hiyoko Saionji, Angie Yonaga, Ruruka Danganronpa, Chiori Genshin, Mami MMG, Kyoko MMG, Kazuha Genshin, Furina Genshin, Rika Wonder Egg Priority, Luka from Alien Stage, Mizi from Alien Stage, Dazai BSD, Nikolai BSD, Sigma BSD, Kaveh Genshin, Ivan from alien stage, Qiqi Genshin, Sigewinne Genshin, Firefly HSR, Sparkle HSR, Herta HSR, Signewinne Genshin, Xiao Genshin, Columbina Genshin, Sandrone Genshin, Kevin FPE, Aiden FPE, Cube FPE, Basil Omori, Mari Omori, Sunny Omori, Omori, Mitsuba TBHK, March 7th HSR, Mikan Tsumiki, Shuichi Saihara, Izuru Kamakura, Hajime Hinata, Kate Shadow House, Emilie Shadow House, Barbara Shadow House, Bob Animal Crossing, Mene Tame, Luchika, Michiko Ame, Jiro Nito, Iru Iruma, Riko Maino, Sari Sasori, Tadashi Kunai, Chips FPE, Seek DOORS, Rei Ayanami, Gojo Satoru, Nitta Akari, Nobara Kugisaki, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Shoko Ieiri, Kirara Hoshi, Shouka Nishimiya, Shoya Ishida, Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji Ikari, Kaori Miyazono, Kousei Arima, Kiyotaka Ayanokoji, Suzune Horikita, Kikyo Kushida, Chococat Sanrio, Hello Kitty Sanrio, Kuromi Sanrio, Little Twin Stars Sanrio, My Melody Sanrio, My Sweet Piano Sanrio, Wanmi Sanrio, Tsugi Sanrio, Vinegar NomNomNami, Overlord NomNomNami, Maiden NomNomNami, Space NomNomNami, Nil NomNomNami, Astragalus NomNomNami, Cascascava NomNomNami, Killua HxH, Norman Promised Neverland, Emma Promised Neverland, Misa Amane, L Lawliet, Ririka Momobami, Kirari Momobami, Yumeko Jabami, Mary Saotome, Erimi Mushibami, Runa Yomozuki, Yumemi Yumemite, Sayori DDLC, Monika DDLC, Ryota Suzui, Kaede Manyuda, Pantalone Genshin, Nagi Kamishimo, Karma Akabane, Nagisa Shiota, Koro-sensei, Kagaya Ubuyashiki, Giyu Tomioka, Muichiro Tokito, Kanae Kocho, Kanao Tsuyuri, Tamayo KNY, Susamaru KNY, Spider Mother KNY, Spider Daughter KNY, Rui KNY, Douma KNY, Enmu KNY, Sabito KNY, Makomo KNY, Alan WonderEnd 0, Null WonderEnd 0, Juli WonderEnd 0, Yume WonderEnd 0, Tartaglia/Childe/Ajax Genshin, Candace Genshin, Mystic Flour Cookie, Black Pearl Cookie, Pure Vanilla Cookie, Shadow Milk Cookie, Frilled Jellyfish Cookie, Mavuika Genshin, Citlali Genshin, Mocha Sanrio, Yanfei Genshin, Charlotte Genshin, Kanade Otokonoji, Kokoro Mitsume, Esdeath, Mikado Sannoji, Stockings, Carl Guchiry, Hajime Hinata...)

UHHH drawing + digital art? I really hate it, though my friends say it's actually good I lowkey think it looks like those edgy cringy bl manhwa characters (I do read them, but I mean THE cringy ones my guy. The ones drawn in 2019 in middle school kinda type.)

MAKING OCCCCSSSSSSS

Learning languages (fun fact: I actually know quite a lot, but that's for another time!)

Writing (proud, kinda good at it🫡)

Poems?? (Yea, kinda surprising from someone like me irl LMAOAOAAO)

Journaling

Uhhhhhhh uh uh uhm- people-watching??? I dunno

Watching youtube

Searching random shit on Google

Psychology??

OBSESSING OVER NEPTUNE I FUCKING LOVE THIS PRETTY DAMN PLANET AND I CAN TALK ABOUT IT FOR HOURS

Talking to friends (including real ones and hallucinations)

Overthink

Sleeping

Zooming out

Talking & not talking

Yapping about random stuff to my friends

Hyperfixating

Searching up illegal shit for writing purposes (no seriously, I have literally 'coca' making instructions if ykwim)

I think that's all I can think of!

[lovelornronnie]

I thought about what each of the boys humors woukd be like so heres this lil ramble

Personally i think Edd has a mix of tumblr and newgrounds kind of humor, occassionally a bit dark but its mostly just corny dad joke shit with the puns n all. Also contains dumb childish shit like screaming and loud noises (e.g. sir pelo, smiling friends, etc.) I feel like Edd grew up watching Adult Swim and it severely influenced him to laugh at the most random obnoxious shit and well thought out witty timely jokes (no inbetween). He also likes asdf humor, because he just does.

Tord is just full on edgy and toxic, like if you mix 4chan, reddit, and newgrounds kind of humor. Its like being a noob in a cod match with him would unleash all his pent up anger and hed hurl slurs and insults at you with a bass boosted mic. Although he doesnt actually mean the shit he says and that its 100% sarcastic and entirely meant to piss you off. Probably has a very liberal mindset and well aware of peoples sensitivity but simply just doesnt care enough, or maybe the exact opposite, both are equally plausible and funny to me

Matt likes very corny shit, i think hed have a millenial-like humor relatively close to Edd's. I also think Matt would unironically like brain rot because it makes him feel young and very 'hip with the kids' cuz he keeps up with the times. He knows that its cringy but he likes it and doesnt care about beinf called cringy. I also think smthn about Matt has that kpop stan twt humor kinda shit going on?? Like he seems like the type to go "onika = burgers 🎀" just to call someone fat as a mean joke

Tom would also be a bit edgy like Tord but hed be hurling the insults to himself as a way to cope and make himself laugh when its just corncerning to everyone else lmao. So mostly just has twitter humor which is just a blend of most of these i guess just very depressing. Also Tom would deffo like brain rot ironically, he knows Matt likes it genuinely so he doesnt go outright to make fun of him. I also think he ironically finds facebook memes funny and would send them in their gc only to be ghosted cuz the rest of them cant tell if he genuinely likes them or out of sarcasm

[colorisbyshe]

Monthly Music October 2024 heheee

Going alphabetically by artist, for funsies

"0" Ado. Chaotic, high energy Japanese track. Probably an acquired taste, lol.

"Whiplash" & "Flowers" Aespa. Experimental kpop. Whiplash absolutely is cunty. I think I rly like "Flowes" because it sounds like an interpolation of "Every Heart" by Boa, particularly the Minnanokimochi Remix. (Yes, the song from Inuyasha.) It's just sooo smooth and pretty and sensual.

"Little Piggy" & "Bird w/o Nest" Alice Longyu Gao. Sometimes, I find her schtick to be a bit... cringy and too much but I think these tracks are a return to form for Alice. A mix of sincerity and false edginess that come together to be more interesting than they should be.

"Super Sick," "Straight," "5th Chakra." Baby Tate. If you like Doechii, check out Baby Tate! Baby Tate is more electronic but both are unabashedly bisexual, have the same sort of swagger, and truly seek to explore their sound and brand with each release. Boundless talent that explodes in every direction, this rapper won't let you down.

"Trampoline" Billlie. Has that chill, mature vibe which kpop has been lacking. It's fresh and well crafted.

"Worst Aint Over Yet" Can't Swim & Microwave. Just some good emo pop punk. It's a million familiar songs in one and it's fun.

"Blind Side Sonny" Coheed and Cambria. If you liked MCR when more cocaine and worse music recording equipment was used but also crave a dash of danger days... THIS is the song for you. The guitar in this song fucks.

"Tounu" Mike Parton. Competent disco-fusion, nothing new but still fun as hell and a great transition track for aspiring DJs.

"UFO" F5ve. The intro kinda pissed me off but it turns into nice girly jpop with a sharp experimental edge that keeps it from being generic.

"Burn" Frost Children & Haru Nemuri. If you haven't moved on from hyperpop OR pop punk or maybe rly enjoyed Ratata by Babymetal & Electric Callboy, give this track a shot.

"Technologique" Harmony. I didn't put the brat remixes on here because I'm a bit tired of talking about Charli but this is... brat... adjacent? Brat at home? Check it out, idk.

"Mascara" King Gnu. More poppy Jrock with some pep in its step! Be sure to also check out their song "Nekko," if you want something more dramatic and cinematic.

Kylie Minogue is back! Highlights from her disco-y dance album are: "Taboo," "Someone For Me," "Good as Gone," "Kiss Bang Bang," and "Dance to The Music." My fave is "Good as Gone."

Cuntier, darker with Gaga back with "Disease." Another return to form, tbh

Megan Thee Stallion's new album is twice as good tbh. The spiritbox collab??? My faves are "Bigger in Texas," "Number One Rule," "TYG," "Fell in Love," He Think I Love Him," and "Like a Freak," with TYG being my fave with "He Think I Love Him" close behind. Shout out to the Like a G6 sample after her free style, too!

"Midnight Oil" Yune Pinku. Beautiful, vibrant vocals over chillwave

And since this post is a day late, here's a track from November First

"What have you done to me?" Imogen Heap. QUEEN OF TRANSCENDENT MUSIC

[shewhoeatssand]

Why do you like kaneki so much (you can be as insane as you want while answering this)

Honestly I have thought about this a lot for a long time and I don’t really know. One day I saw him for the first time and went “yep this is it this is my new guy” and nothing ever changed. It has been years. And this has never happened to me with anything else. I just saw him and decided I needed to know about him and then he was in my life every day afterwards (going to have a big yap session under the cut)

And I find this kind of crazy, because the kind of person I interpreted him as has changed a lot over the years and I’ve only ever come to like him more? I’ve never been disappointed when finding evidence that changes what I initially thought of him, only more enthused. You know those cringy edits of him saying edgy stuff with the same few shots of him being sad in the anime or artworks of him with his mask on? That was my first impression of him and it was completely different to anything I ever liked before!! And I knew this!!! I wasn’t even allowed to view violent media!!!! And I kept getting more curious about him??????? It was so weird, every time he acted in a way I wouldn’t have found interesting my tastes just changed to accommodate it without me realizing.

I knew something was definitely up when I was well into my Kaneki fixation, but wanted to make my own oc bc I kept seeing other people making them. I wanted them to be as beautiful and intriguing to me specifically as possible. I’d think “what is the most attractive hair colour?” and it’d be white. Then eye colour, face shape, gender, personality etc and then I’d have Kaneki. It was impossible for me to create an oc that I could like more than Kaneki because they’d either become Kaneki or I’d think of ways to “improve” them that just pushed them more towards being like Kaneki. So I gave up and now I have no ocs. I couldn’t even think of any names because I could not think of good names besides Kaneki 😭😭 I missed a crucial phase for creative kids who may have just gotten into anime because I liked my anime guy too much,,,

This stretched into everything. Any media I consumed I’d compare the characters to Kaneki and if none of them had somewhat similar traits to him I’d get bored. If they were vaguely similar, even if it’s just having a funny moral compass and wearing one article of clothing Kaneki might wear, I’d imagine pairing them with Kaneki and start comparing the two further, until I ultimately decide Kaneki is way better and unique and feel guilty for “cheating” on him with this other character (even if it’s just for a few days). A while back I tried to get into other series in the hopes of finding more characters I liked as much as him but this sort of thing made me realize I’m in too deep for any of that. Any music I listened to would have to have at least 1 linking lyric or similar vibes to Kaneki, or I could imagine scenes with Kaneki where he sorta fit the aesthetic of the song (how I listened to Lana Del Rey??). I had a genshin phase a few years back which only lasted so long because I latched onto Xiao bc I found his dedication to protecting Liyue similar to how Kaneki wanted to protect the people close to him while hurting himself. Then I left the game a few months after I got Xiao because there wasn’t much left to do for me. After that I had like no interests besides Kaneki for a long time. There was some fleeting stuff that lasted while I was actively engaging w it, one that stood out was Killing Stalking because it also had a well written violent character with mommy issues, but my level of interest in it was still like comparing Earth to the Sun. I was having violent thoughts around Kaneki all the time and it kinda acted like a balm to it for some reason.

I think I’ve gotten better though? I got into fish either last year or the year before (I genuinely cannot remember a lot of 2023 so it blurs with 2024), it never expanded into me knowing a really impressive amount but at least it was something to talk about. I found an album I related to myself with my experiences w Kaneki. I’ve been into splatoon lately but mostly bc I can play with my friends and guarantee a high success rate. I think it’s important I’m interested in other things, it helps me feel more normal and makes socializing easier.

A few times I started to see him more as a god than a character, and decided he was more important than school or any human relationships. If I couldn’t talk to them about Kaneki then their only use was to help me appear normal so I could engage in my Kaneki stuff without disruption. Sometimes he would be a bit like an actual person in my head, and in order for him to live his life I had to think about him doing it, and not giving him the time would be unfair to him. So I would only do things related to him for fun and if it wasn’t linked to him I’d have a hard time finding a reason to do it, which made school difficult. At some point I started somewhat believing that he would come for me from across the multiverse and together we would find a new world where we both were able to function as perfectly as the people in our current world could and we’d be like the new Adam and Eve for that place. Told a councilor that I was willing to abandon my physical body to achieve this if he asked and she called my parents :///// I came out of it after finishing my assessments and going to Japan and the voice in my head split into 1 mean guy who was cringe and pathetic and 1 beautiful boy named Kaneki who exclusively spoke Japanese and that’s where I’m at now :3 I don’t know why all that happened

Anyway I feel like this hasn’t been answered great 😭😭 tldr for this is that he is basically attached to me at this point… he is my boy and he is never going to leave… my love for him only grows and he trumps everything else I could ever love….. I could not stop liking him if I tried and I have. I lasted 2 days. He’s not going away. The line where I end and he starts is blurred. I bring him up to my online friend group almost every day and they haven’t even read TG, they don’t know what I’m talking about. I feel like the point of this ask was for me to analyse his character and explain why this attracts me but it’s more that every time he does anything I go “wowww :DDD amazing” and it is beyond my control I just like everything. I used to look at anti Kaneki posts and then every time they made a valid complaint I’d get more excited about him because omgggg he’s so silly…On a regular basis I try to think of things he’d do that are objectively gross and it just makes me like them. He’s going to get me into feet bc sometimes I remember he has them and it makes me go “aww he has such cute feet”, I’ve already gone through almost every part of his body doing this and I’m running out of them. I thought about how he would have some body hair even if it’s faint and it made me accept my own body hair (to an extent) when I’ve been insecure about it for years. He made me like math briefly because there was a building and I thought “omg sometimes Kaneki is in a building!!”. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have a romantic relationship bc it won’t feel real unless they beat Kaneki, and if they do I’m genuinely terrified of the person I’d become about it. And to this day I don’t know why any of this started. I wish I could say we are soulmates but I don’t think he’d like being obsessed over to this degree, maybe he’d like it if it’s only a little but he’d probably find my level of obsession to be a nuisance and that crushes me (at least until I remember he’s not a good person either and might deserve to be uncomfortable). There’s days where I ache horribly because I miss him and he’ll never be there. I’m sorry I can’t give a straightforward answer besides “saw him once and it escalated from there until I couldn’t have anything else”, but that is kind of what happened. It’s both a blessing and a curse, since he gives me so much joy, but weird ass unexplainable mental stuff as well. Hope this helps 👍 please no one block me for being weird or not having a good reason

[lemonthepotato]

HELP WITH ENNEAGRAM

I was originally gonna post this on r/enneagram but changed my mind. Please help if you can. <3

Expressing yourself through song lyrics sure is cringy and edgy. Glad I didn’t do that this post. Also, yes, this post will be long asf too. Sorry, but I’m bad at compressing things. If you don’t want to read it, don’t. Go on. Do something else. I don’t blame you lol. I understand if you don’t want to read allathat. Idk I’ll prolly delete this. Maybe.

Some of this borders on yapping but I cut a lot of irrelevant shit.

Haha… 69. I’m just saying, a part of me really wants my tritype to be 69X. It would be funny. Sorry, I’ll grow up. One day. Also, here’s a cringy little slideshow. Hope you like it.

SO. The consensus last time was that I was either a 6 or a 9, so while I’m skeptical, I went to research the differences. Starting with RHETI.

Before you say “look at core motives” isn’t the whole point of core motives that they’re subconscious? I don’t think it would help.

(Yes, I’m serious about using RHETI. Sorry, it’s convenient.)

“These types are actually frequently mistyped. Sixes and Nines are both concerned with security and with maintaining some kind of status quo situation.” Uh, no, I hate the status quo. And I’m not sure what security even means. I mean, yeah, negative change makes me upset, but positive change is good. And my life is so boring that I assure you, the status quo is not what I am interested in maintaining. I need a change. I’m constantly striving towards a better, more action-filled life.

“They are both family-oriented, and both tend to take modest views of themselves.” Nope. I’m actually pretty anti-natalist, and have no interest in ‘starting a family.’ My mortality is my burden to bear, not any hypothetical child’s. I don’t care for my family either, they’re all corrupt. And ‘modest’… maybe. I put on, and have for many years, a false bravado, but on the inside, I think I am kinda modest? I’ve always been told my writing is amazing, but truthfully, I don’t think it’s very good compared to other authors. I think I have a bad-okay singing voice, better than some other people. My art is bad. I think I know my skills. People praised my baking, but I thought it was just meh. I always think people are lying when they compliment me, which isn’t often.

“In short, Nines like to remain easy-going and unflappable. Nines work steadily at their tasks, but show little sign of being upset by the day's ups and downs. Sixes, on the other hand, cannot easily disguise their feelings. They get more easily worked-up and rattled by mishaps.” Well I definitely lean six there. I mean, I can disguise my feelings easily, except my anger. It’s the only emotion I can’t hide, and I’m easy to piss off.

“While Nines can remain silent within their own inner peace, Sixes need to vent with others periodically to discharge their fears and doubts.” Leaning six there, but if I feel rejected then I don’t vent. The closest recently was when I complained in a gc about low-content authors saturating the market on KDP. I tend to take a very strong stance when stating an opinion, and I may or may not have said “I want them to shove their year planners up” andddd you can guess the rest. From an objective standpoint, I know there’s not much wrong with making low content books… my problem should more be focused on bots stealing from authors, but I just, I guess exaggerate my anger?

“Sixes are more obviously nervous and defensive when they believe there are problems. Nines remain strangely bland in the face of problems, although beneath the pleasant surface of average Nines, there is stubborn resistance and an unwillingness to be upset or troubled by conflicts or problems.” Lean six there. If someone pisses me off, I’m not gonna reject my emotions.

“tend to be suspicious of unknown people and situations–they need to test people before they let them get close. Nines may be protected by the disengagement of their attention, but they tend to be trusting of others–almost to a fault.” Nope, always been more six there.

“Of course, under stress, when moving in their Direction of Disintegration, Nines will begin to act out some of the behaviors of average Sixes, and for this reason, some Nines will mistype themselves as Sixes. But such periods of overt anxiety generally do not last long. As soon as possible, Nines revert to their more easy going approach to things.” Well… I don’t know. I mean, I’ve always been very reactive and angry.

Subtypes:

Sx6: Okay so, denying fear is a 50/50. If someone intimates me, I usually will fight back, but sometimes if they break me too much, I’ll break down. I definitely feel “you’re only as strong as you think you are.” But I don’t want to give off the idea that I’m strong physically, only emotionally. I’ve always been seen as weak, and to a degree, I want to give off that weak, broken, lonely persona so I can be saved, or at the very least, used by someone drawn to that kind of person. Because… I am kinda weak. And I don’t mind being used, because from experience, even though being used has always sucked, I’ve never felt lonely by them. I can relate to being stubborn. I view everything as a challenge.

“These characters walk around with the idea that anyone can become dangerous, so they do everything they can to not feel cheated, manipulated, taken advantage of, or attacked.” Yeah, maybe more so nowadays. When I’m out of the house, I’m constantly wary of people.

“Despite being aggressive as part of their effort to intimidate through strength, Sx Sixes tend not to acknowledge their aggressive side and may not be aware of it-or at least of the intensity of it.” Nah, I’m pretty aggressive and aware of it. I don’t think it was always that way.

“They also tend to separate their emotions: aggression is disconnected from fear, and sex is disconnected from feelings of love and intimacy.” Eh? Maybe? Not really tbh.

“They may have the illusion that they are spontaneous, but they tend not to be.” …Is this true for me? Idk, maybe.

“Sx Sixes tend to be very contrarian.”

Very true for me honestly. Sometimes I’ll argue even when I agree with people.

Sp6:

“They also have difficulty in looking at things as black and white, as they can see multiple shades of gray in between everything.” Depends.

“Seeing themselves as constantly at fault, they also feel persecuted: they project their internal persecution externally. It is a form of paranoid thinking which incurs the following: other people are always ready to catch your faults, attack you, and criticize you, and if they do not, it is only because it is convenient for them to hide their intentions at the moment to ensure they punch down the line.” Oh 100%.

“Self-Preservation Sixes fear anger, aggression, provocation, and confrontation. Being afraid of other people's aggression means they can't let their own aggression out.” I mean yes, but no. I don’t immediately resort to anger if I know the person is a loose cannon, but at some point, I have to protect myself.

“As the most phobic of the three Sixes, the avoidant Self-Preservation subtype equates love with protection, and in looking for love they search for a source of security to compensate for an inner sense of insecurity. This Six wants to find a strong person to lean on, and they many be excessively friendly and giving as a way of preventing an attack from outside. In order to feel the strength they are lacking, the Self-Preservation Six attracts the affections or protection of somebody strong-the more forceful presence of another helps them to feel safer.” I mean yeah. I guess I’ve flipped between sp6 and sx6 behaviours my whole life. I feel like the only way to be liked is to either be completely aggressive or completely submissive. Those are the only versions of me that “exist.” I just can’t tell which is real.

So6: “Consciously or unconsciously, Social Sixes fear the disapproval of authorities and believe the way to be safe is to do the right thing as determined by an authority. And knowing what the right thing is means having clear rules that tell you how you should think and act.” Kinda. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t be hard to trick me into joining a cult, that’s all really.

“Social Sixes have an intolerance of ambiguity. They fear ambivalence and have little tolerance of uncertainty, because to them, uncertainty equals anxiety. As a result, they have a love of precision and see things more in terms of black and white than gray.” Kinda.

I don’t fear making mistakes.

Sx9: “Sx Nines unconsciously express a need to be through another- to gain a sense of "being" they don't find inside themselves through fusion with somebody else.” Yeah, but it’s not unconscious… anymore.

“These Nines feel a sense of loneliness or abandonment that seems like it can only be filled by another person, whether or not they realize it consciously.” True.

“The problem inherent in this stance, of course, is that true union- a real relationship between two people - requires that both people stand on their own feet before coming to meet each other.” Oh see, that kinda gave me a chill… no. I don’t want to be alone, ever. I don’t think I can be alone. I don’t like it.

“Sx Nines tend to be very kind, gentle, tender and sweet. They are the least assertive of the Nines.” 👎 nuh uh. I mean again, if it was in a context where I fully trusted someone then yeah but nuh uh.

“Sx Nines may also share central concerns with Type Twos in that they can lack a solid sense of self and then look to their important relationships as a way to find self-definition or a sense of identity. Twos differ from these Nines, however, in that they focus more attention on constructing an image. Twos also usually enjoy being the center of attention, while this is much less comfortable for Sx Nines.” I mean yeah, I love attention and always have, but no one in the last post suggested 2, so it’s unlikely I’m a 2. Maybe sp2, but still, I don’t think so. Maybe? Maybe not. Maybe…

Sp9: Basically sx9 but if their partner was a potato chip. Also, I might be a black and white thinker considering my dad just said he was making breakfast or lunch and my first thought was “well, it’s one or the other.” Sorry, not related.

Reading this is basically just how I acted from 2018-2021. Not a good time in my life. I don’t like being alone. I haven’t “resigned” myself to not finding love, my whole logic in those four years was “well, when I’m 18, I’m gonna work hard for the rest of my life, so I should enjoy these years before I can’t do it anymore.” which consisted of barely being able to leave the bed. So fun.

I mean no, I don’t use physical activity to create a self. Maybe through my work, but I don’t like slacking off, so maybe not.

Oh yeah, someone suggested I might be a 1 in the last post. The only 1 subtype I even closely relate to is the old version of sx1. Core type? Sure, to a degree. But idk. Most people said either 6 or 9 so I’m not sure. And 9w8 > 9w1 at that degree.

I don’t relate much to the core of 2. It’s more that I want to be looked after than looking after others. I feel the only way to serve others is to improve my appearance and serve them through giving myself to them. As for 3, I really related to a degree, but no one else agreed, and honestly, maybe you’re right. Not a 4, I’m nowhere near having enough of an identity to be a 4. 5 just makes no sense to me. 7 makes a lot of sense to me but I don’t relate to ignoring negative emotions. I’m not confident enough to be an 8. I guess that leaves me with 6 and 9, along with maybe 2 as an option. Maybe 3.

I think 9 is unlikely, honestly, so let’s narrow that to 6, 2 and 3. Definitely had a lot of sp2 behaviours as a kid. Lmao, I was gonna say “but honestly, I didn’t feel entitled cuz I did anything, just for existing” and that’s literally the next paragraph written about sp2. I’m not gonna fall into the trap of relating to subtype over core type, because I don’t really relate to the core type of 2. Maybe when I was younger. I remember when my parents argued, I would try and mediate things, because I didn’t like it, but I just got yelled at. I would also sometimes do things for others to get validation, but I don’t remember if it was a core trait.

Wanna hear a fun fact? Growing up, my mom fell for an MLM, so me and her went door to door shilling makeup products… yep, she used a little young innocent me who was acting very friendly to the people there, for some reason, to shill products. I don’t know why I was so friendly to those random people. To prove myself?

See I relate to 3, but no one agreed with that in the last post, so maybe not. I do relate to cultivating a persona and hiding negative traits. It’s why these posts are so hard to make. But, I’m not exactly GOOD at getting attention. I mean, growing up, I wasn’t very well liked even if I wanted to be popular. I’ve always wanted to be famous.

Six is complicated because I can relate to the core to a degree, but none of the subtypes, or 50/50 on each subtype. Nine is just… I don’t see much 9 in me.

Anyway, uhh, what else should I say? This post has dragged on long enough. If you want to read my other type me post, it’s like, the post before the last post on this account I think. It’s also very long.

Oh yeah, I had another brief friend that destroyed my trust by telling me to end my life by insulting me using insults based on the things I vented to him about. Hence once of the many reasons I have trust issues. That guy was very fucked up though. Tried stabbing his dad n shit. Pressured me into doing weird shit. Fucked shit man. Anyway. That’s all.

Ok, that’s all.

…I thought this would be shorter. Anyway, I guess if you have any questions/need elaboration, comment. Again I’m very sorry this post is long, I suck at compressing shit.

If the consensus is 9 again, then I’ll just accept that I was in ~DeNile.~ 😅 I just don’t think I’m calm enough.

Idk I’ll probably delete this post. It’s just- I’ve tried figuring it out on my own and it’s very difficult.

Edit: This post is old (5 months old) and I doubt I’m a 9. I was torn between 3 and 6 when I wrote this, then I got torn between 4 and 6. 4 and 6 have been the most consistent parts of my typing, so I settled on 4. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a 5 due to this but I have a very strange relationship with type 5? It was the type I questioned the least except for 8, and like, I never had any valid reason to deny it other than not ‘feeling’ like a five and the only type I considered was sx5 very briefly. I could go more in depth but 9 is very unlikely now. Also I don’t use wings anymore, at least the way people use em.)

Edit 2: This post is almost a year old and damn I needed to take a chill pill. A lot of this shit was caffeine + probably an ED + antidepressants (which aren’t bad inherently, but they weren’t a good mix w the caffeine) + other shit but I’m finally going to therapy soon so woohoo… I’m more chill now tho (I say, worrying I have stomach cancer because I have (1) symptom) I don’t overthink my identity anymore because I was struggling with severe dissociation due to all those factors and my body didn’t feel like my own. Crazy. Anyway. Maybe I shouldn’t have started drinking caffeine so young. My advice that no teen in their right mind would actually listen to? Stay AWAY from energy drinks and ‘eyeballing’ large (2) spoons of coffee. Also I’m vegan now lol.

[confessmau]

So many people hate the mystreet and mcd connection which genuinely confuses me?? I guess maybe it's cuz their main points are how mystreet was suppose to not have drama or whatever like season 1-3 but i've never watched 1 or 2 (i started at season 3 then went chronologically but never went back to watch 1 and 2).

I actually really really like the connection, although my reasoning might be like super edgy and cringy so I rarely talk about it (I wont say my reasoning here bc I kinda talked a little about it on my blog and I dont want people to figure out who I am .v.)

I just think it's cool that mcd aphmau is mystreet irene and if I ignore half of canon (aka my remake<3) at least I think it makes for a pretty good story

~~