#If other people can act like other dead gods are alive why cant I?

[gl1tchedbun]

I love Sanna so much she deserves more love

[emilover-1]

NIKOLAI ANALYSIS!!!! also some Fyolai analysis

To talk about Nikolai, the first thing about him that should be talked about is his views on freedom

What Nikolai is meant to represent is that there are no limits for humans, that humans can do anything, cruel or good things, humans can do it, what Nikolai thinks is that there is no such thing as ‘no human could be capable of killing their friend’ or that ‘no human is capable to be free’, because for Nikolai what the society thinks and puts limits to what a human can do or can’t is being in a cage. The limits being the consequences to crimes, and thoughts being what society thinks of someone, the judgement. That’s where his comparison comes from, a bird in a cage is what humans are, and a bird out of the cage is something that humans most of the times don’t dare to.

(ignore the quality pls)

Even though he is drawn to justice, he still chooses to support the DOA because of the evil in it, as I said before, he wants to prove that there are no limits for humans, humans can do and are capable of making very cruel things, however most of the people don’t do that because of the fear to consequences and because of morality, being why Nikolai says that it is brainwashing, because it is imposed since someone is very young, which leads that when people are older, they have that morality, being a gray, white or even sometimes black morality, it doesn’t matter because those people still have that morality imposed by society, it is imposed by family, schools and even friends.

Nikolai says that the cage is the skull, the logic behind it is that in the skull the brain and everything else comes to work together, the brain thinks of things even though you don’t want to think that, the brain is responsible for everything in your body, and therefore the skull is the cage, the skull is a cage for everyone, and the only way that someone ends up being free is being dead, once you die you don’t have to worry about anything at all, you cant move, you cant think, you are alone once you die because once you die everything is black for you, which is equal as freedom.

His quote “we can’t leave that warm, wet hell” refers to the body and brain.

Let’s go now to the second topic and how it is very related to the first one.

This may seem like it is not related to freedom, however for Nikolai, freedom truly is when you don’t have to think about morality, when you don’t have feelings attached to morality, when you don’t have anything attached to morality, that’s truly freedom for him, however how is it related to losing yourself? Nikolai doesn’t want to be limited to what society thinks, however he is, he isn’t free yet and he cant be totally free when he is alive, that’s why he opposes to God as a scream to be free and fights to lose himself, he doesn’t want to be limited by his personality and become predictable, what Nikolai wishes is to not be able to feel guilty at all, that’s part of the freedom he wants and considers, he wants to be able to have different thoughts, commit crimes and do things considered as unthinkable by society without being able to feel guilt.

It’s more than obvious that he wishes to not be aware of the cage he is in, birds die not knowing the freedom they could have had, not knowing that they are prisoners living in a cage; that’s what he wishes and why he is jealous of Tonan, Tonan is not aware that he is in a cage, he would die not knowing that he is a prisoner, dying happily inside of the cage, never being free at all.

Let’s go to his other philosophical way to think.

What do I think his philosophical way to think is? Absurdist.

The best way to be free would be dying, committing suicide, however Albert Camus thought that the act of escaping our lives does not counter the absurd and rather in the act of ending our lives, our lives become only more absurd, how does this connect to Nikolai’s mentality?

Nikolai knows that ending our lives would be the most easy way to be free, however it would also not prove what he wants to prove, becoming the act of suicide a absurd thing, which is why he ends up not dying, the plan was for him to really be killed, however he escapes to prove what he wants, that a human can do ‘unthinkable’ things to become free, that a human can do anything, there is no limit

Let’s go now to his relationship with Fyodor because it is very mischaracterized, the topics about fyolai will be; Nikolai’s obsession and wish to kill Fyodor, how Fyodor does NOT care for Nikolai and doesn’t see him as an equal.

His obsession with Fyodor comes from feeling misunderstood, then he meets Fyodor and Fyodor is the first person to understand him, then, Nikolai comes to a realization, that if he wants to be truly free he has to kill Fyodor. To show what humans are capable of, to try to not feel so guilty when killing, to be free and fight what society thinks and imposes. A common thing I’ve seen is that a lot of people think that he wants to be free from all emotions, but I don’t think so, I think that he only wants to be free from guilt, from morals and from society itself. About Fyodor, Fyodor understands Nikolai because he is very smart and analyses people very good, however he doesn’t see Nikolai as his equal, his only ‘equal’ is that man and Dazai, and Dazai isn’t totally his equal since Dazai could be very much said that he is an atheist and an ability user.

The chapter 111.5 was truly a very good show of how Fyodor does not care for Nikolai, even BEFORE this chapter got out it was OBVIOUS that he didn’t care about Nikolai, he uses them for his own benefit, as a matter of fact he doesn’t even trust Nikolai, I don’t blame him because how are you going to trust them if they tried to kill you, however the most easy way for Fyodor to get out of Meursault would have been asking Nikolai to bring him back to Yokohama or wherever he wanted to go next instead of going to the helicopter with a vampire driving. Show that Fyodor doesn’t care about Nikolai is the disinterest he shows to Nikolai, he seems disinterested and is only interested when Dazai could die too, Nikolai seems very happy however Fyodor doesn’t even look interested, in the chapter 111.5 Nikolai seems sad at Fyodor wanting to kill him too, and I don’t blame them either since Fyodor was the first person to them to understand them, and Nikolai seemed very excited to see Fyodor again, and its just sad Fyodor’s reaction because it is totally disinterested.

Fyodor doesn’t see Nikolai as an equal despite what a lot of people think, Fyodor sees God as his superior, then he is below God as he is God-sent, and the only equals he has or had was that man mentioned and Dazai. Dazai despite probably being an atheist and also being a ability user, he is on the same level of intelligence as Fyodor, they are both very similar despite that, and therefore Fyodor considers him as an equal but not God-sent. Then, there are sinners, which are people without an ability and are below Fyodor, then finally there are the worst kind of people for Fyodor, which are even more sinners that the people without the ability which are the ability users, and therefore he doesn’t consider Nikolai as his equal, remember that someone ‘worthy’ doesn’t instantly mean equal, and I don’t even think Fyodor sees Nikolai as a worthy ‘opponent’, I genuinely think that Fyodor sees Nikolas only as an opponent, though not worthy enough to be an equal.

Thank you for reading my analysis!

[alfiely-art]

FINISHED ACT 2!!!! I promise I'm taking my time

Act 1 live reaction here

Here are notes I took while reading!!!

Hi vagabond fella… you're cute

Huh. So the world ended. Okay

Happy birthday john, you fucked up!!!! My god!!!!

Oh interesting… wonder if the kernel will come back later

I like this sprite lmaoooo silly guy

“It's a long way down” Hey. Hey wait a sec. Isn't that deltarune

HEY THE BUNNY WHERE DID IT GO

Bro Rose probably thinks you're dead lmfaooooo

House trapped. LIKE THE TITLE HOMESTUCK DO U GET IT

Am I supposed to ignore the Stop Scurrying button btw. He will scurry to my hearts content

HEY WHERES DAD.

“Would you like to play a game?” C…caliborn….? :3

We scurried until we couldn't scurry anymore

Aw he's scared :( WALK ACROSS IT ur fine…

A voice?? Is it the blue text. The sprite

OMG ITS THE VAGABOND!!!!

Sorry rose I'm not reading allat

So wait. Did the game cause the meteors or is it just saving people from them. Why was there no warning

Betty crocker is born /j

Nvm sprite said No <3

NOT NANNAS ASHESSSSS LMAOOOO

“Hoo-hoo-hoo” HEY I SAW CALIBORN GIGGLE LIKE THAT IN A FIC. I know the Striders have more to do with Caliborn but let me reach

OH its the sprite

Dave. Honey. Nows not the time for your rap

Which admittedly has fun rhymes

AW FLUCK IT

Dave what are you yapping about

THE FUCKIHG CAR OH MY GOD

DAVE OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU STILL GOING

Fluthlu… I love you

I'm not even gonna try to spell that but I like the other squid octopus creature as well

Oglogoth… goth !!!!

Hey wait. The horror terrors are part of sburb. Is the game influenced by their lives and interests. Like. Deltarune

OH PSYCHE!!! hi Dave

Sword!!!!!!

Wow your room is really mHEY I KNOW THOSE GUYS. THATS THE FELT GUYS. SQUAREWAVE AND RHE OTHER ROBOT. I KNOW THOSE ONES!!!!! OHHHHHH

Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable

Oh Dave. Oh Dave

Hey wait is this earlier in the day.

Okay this is definitely earlier in the day

Aw. He doesn't wanna make satire of the sburb review

FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS……

Is that. John's hand???? what the fuck is happening in midnight crew

Flagrant Homosexuality

YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT WHITE BABY (I was told that they use slurs, slur count 2!!!!)

Her life depends on you playing that game Dave

Ewwww what's the shit under the door

It's okay Dave piss probably isn't that bad. It's also probably Apple juice You're fine

HE GOT PISS/JUICE ON HIS TURNTABLES NOOOOOO

. They're gonna fly out the window

OH MY GOD BIRD NO

Wait. Davesprite is a bird with a sword in him. Omg is that bird the beginning of Davesprite omg!!!!

Wizard

Rose and her mom are fucking weird

MOM!!!!!

Hardcore parkour

Jade be telling the future…. Why can she do that

LIL CAL MENTION

NARRATOR YOU CANT BE SAYING THAT (slur count: 3)

Ironic Indulgence

Btw. Are you able to. Win the strifes. I'm so confused

“Fine, you'll interrupt your reading and turn around, but you don't see what could possibly be so oh my god it's a monster.” Hi this is absolute gold this is how I type

John died :(

Yay he's alive!!!

YOOOOO SICKKKK AFFFFF MOVE

John is such a nerd I love him

JASPERS NOOO

Hi Nanna harlequin sprite

Dave is very suddenly creeped out by the puppets, okay. Don't diss Lil cal bro

Baked good hater for Life!!! Also I am just like John I have absolutely no idea what Nannasprite was talking about. We r along for the ride

HUMAN ETIQUETTE WOOOO I NEED THAY BOOK

Jade why do you know all this stuff

Haha Dave's an emoji

IS THAT A DRIPPED OUT SLAPPY

HI CAL HI BABYGIRL !!!! I like Cal he's the man

Sweet Bro n Hella Jeff is. I

Cals eyes are so shiny

HAHAHAHAH JOHN MADE A SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF REFERENCE. I can't

U and me both Rose. We Are giggling

John died again

What the fuck is happening at Dave's house

ROSE RAP ROSE RAP

WHSJSHSJSH THE LITTLE IMP????

What the fuck is happening

I WANT TO PLAY A GAME is this a caliborn reference. Anyway uhhh Bro is kinda weird what's going on with him

Why does he have a camera in the saw guy figurine. Bro. What's uh up with you

BRO REALLY IS A NINJA…. Whys he jusy moving Cal around

Dave. I know you said your Bro is awesome but I think he's just really weird. He's silly

I do think it's interesting. John doesn't like his dad even though his dad is great (worst thing is he ignores that his kid doesn't like betty crocker goods). Rose hates her mom, but.. for like, the wrong reasons?? Like yeah her mom’s an alcoholic and seems neglectful but she doesn't seem to do the Irony shit Rose says she does. And then Dave seems to think Bro is the absolute best even though. This is not a great situation. I wonder what Jade's family is like

Also John and Rose avoid their parents but Dave's Bro seems to avoid Dave. interesting

Anyway POOR DAVE HE GOT SMOOSHED

Hey that letter is the same as the one in the trans dirk comic I saw :0

NOOO I WANTED TO SEE BRO

Yoooo John that's a cool weapon actually

That's a big boy right there what a big boy

ROSE THE FIRE ITS AT UR WINDOW

YO WAS THAT SILHOUETTE JADE?!?!?! JADE YAAA

Big boy!!!!!!

HEY I WAS INVESTED IN SEEING JOHN FIGHT. Oh at least we can see Bro. Wait how's Rose

??? JADE???

OOP NOPE. VAGABOND

What the fuck is happening I

vagabond is so silly I like him

Hey guys I think a king hurt vagabond. Just a guess. Probably reaching idk /j

VAGABOND PISS SCENE ?!?!?! YIPPEE!!!

Oh nvm. Btw can we get this guy a burger

HES SO HAPPY OVER THE. idk what that is DANGANRONPA BLOOD IN A CAN!!!!!!

HEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE ON THESE SCREENS BTW. Wait I'm shouting so much. But what the fuck. Dave has his sprite??? Yay???? I thought he was gonna fight Bro??? What happened to Lil Cal???

Hey isn't that Jade's symbol on the pumpkin

Yooo that's such a cool cutscene actuHUH HOW IS IT THE END OF THE ACT AGAIN

The frick….

Anyway. Thoughts: I like Vagabond. Jade is mysterious. Dave gay. Bro creepy. Someone pls save Rose. John you gotta put your big boy pants on and fight those ogres. Good act!!! idk why people say the pre-trolls stuff is boring I'm enjoying myself

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[riptide98]

i’ve been working on a scu fic (but at least the ceiling’s very pretty/baltcvp) for like over a year now (the og vers of the first 4 chapters are on my og ao3 acc) and i got bored and made up lore in my bathroom taking a fat shit and then i wrote it down and im really proud of it tbh!!

lmk if this needs any warnings or anything it’ll be below the cut if anyone wants any context to points jus ask me i dont have access to the actual fic doc rn but i rember things

first. the mortal/god stuff.

the reason why their bodies are all at first mortal is the residual imbalance from grizz being dead. in this sort of “au” ig idk, when one god of a pantheon (i.e grizz) dies (which is VERY rare and usually only happens when one god takes out another, i.e bebo shooting him) there’s an imbalance in the world, so the divinity of the others begins to lessen until they’re mortal again. but, as they’re all reunited and grizz is somehow revived, which i’ll get to later, that divinity begins to return to them all

and on the topic of the reunion and grizz’s revival....

it’s a mystery until the end (even after they get charlie back) how they all are back at molympus. but since im god and i wrote this lore bit, i can say it now ^_^

some backstory:

after the boys beat the game, their divinity slowly left them until they were mortal to keep that aforementioned balance. the world became godless, but the people survived, praying to the gods of old (the boys) and believing they could still help (they cant). charlie....is a story for another paragraph, bizly became a recluse and chose to hide in the forests and nature almost to torture himself (grizz was the god of nature and bizly was the one who killed him so), and condi dedicated himself to finding out how to bring grizz back so the world could gain its gods again.

charlie was whisked away by schlart to be readied for the next story ^_^ simce he’s the main character after all :3 anyways hes not relevant

since the world began to crumble in on itself without its gods, thus starts 100 days. schlatt brings charlie in to carry out his final story, but the other two, who are still alive, don’t realize until he shows up again

bizly realized how different charlie was the second he saw him even from a distance, almost miraculously recognizing him, and decided to make a new persona so he wouldn’t have to act like he knew him. he’d been hurt enough by charlie and his distance and his disappearance that he didn’t want to have to try and jog his obviously lost or repressed memory. he left him in the end because he just couldn’t face him anymore. he hated how he looked at him with no recognition despite looking basically the same, maybe just with shaggier hair, sounding the same, just with a slight accent for the bit, being the same. so he left. he was so blinded by anger and frustration that he couldn’t even be fully aware of charlie’s differences and issues.

though he did come back and fight by charlie’s side, in the end. he still cared that much.

condi, on the other hand, almost didn’t recognize charlie by the time he found him. he’d been so beat up and coated in dirt and grime that he was almost unrecognizable. charlie always kept in tiptop shape, so if condi hadn’t recognized the slimes on him he probably would barely realize who he was. plus, his voice was so fucked up due to the haze in the air and still apparent years of disuse that he didn’t even sound himself. where bizly was angry, condi was concerned. condi was genuinely worried at first, but then his focus shifted back to his projects almost unnervingly quickly when he was asked of them.

though he did sacrifice his life to save charlie’s, in the end. he still cared that much.

grizz is dead as hell LMAOAOAOAOAO

after day 100, bizly was the only god of the pantheon alive. still using his florida man persona as basically a coping mechanism at this point, saddled with these two random mortals, one of whom disturbingly reminded him of grizz, he was frustrated. done. he wanted his life back. his friends back. his divinity back.

and one day he woke up back on molympus.

how, you ask? bizly’s frustration, his anger, his grief, it all bottled up in him alongside the last dregs of divinity left in their realm. basically, the world follows the stability of its gods, and since bizly was the last god left, when he broke, so did the world. when the world broke, it killed him in the process.

the death of the gods, with nobody left to be able to channel their divinity, ended the world.

but, like in minecraft, you can always make a new one.

bizly, in his state, accidentally created a new world and revived all four of the gods of old. which lines up, because he was always the healer. the god of life, being the last one to have it.

the god of life, being able to restore it.

now, to clarify charlie’s whole situation.

when he was revived, schlatt was alongside him because the two are deeply intertwined for some insane reason that involves that first encounter. he became the main character of the story schlatt wanted to weave by being the last one left standing. he was the largest subject of the torture put upon everyone. he caused the problems that led to his friends, eventually fellow gods, to hate him, deep down. everyone else were just plot devices for him.

so when he was revived, so was schlatt. and schlatt missed his story. so he decided he’d loop it as many times as it takes charlie to get out with his memories being reset with each loop.

all he had to do was take his shot in the final moments of day 101.

anyways off the topic of charlie because although the fic is based around trying to get him back it focuses on the others more

everyone being revived brought them all to where bizly wanted them to be again: molympus. he’d missed the actual good times they’d had over the few thousand years they spent together, building their world bit by bit, code by code. it held shitty memories of practical verbal abuse, yeah, but it was also one of the safest places he’d ever had. he wanted it back. he wanted his friends.

and, in the end, he got them.

to summarize: everyone turned mortal, fucking died, and bizly revived his friends and fucking brainblasted a new world into existance because he was sad abt all of it. also charlie’s stuck in a time loop but that's not important

[yuukei-yikes]

Haruka's cringe compilation also includes him seeing Ene, probably thinking she looks very pretty, but instead of rekindling his high school romance he's living through the worst adaptation of "new phone who dis" ever conceived by man or snake

LMAOOO please and in that point in time haruka also technically spent a lot of time watching konoha try to get hibiya and hiyori out of the timeloop for god knows how long. we dont talk abt this enough. haruka can see everything konoha sees so like... erm. bitch also saw these kids getting killed over and over. lol! (descent into insanity complete as i think abt haruka and hibihiyo dynamic post str)

so like. last haruka saw of takane was her dead body, he had no reason to NOT think she wasn't in a similar state as him. like in some limbo place. bc tbh does haruka even know where he is... and from watching everything thru konoha he might know as much as kenjirou being a danger but that's it. cuz we don't know if he ever explicitly did anything to reveal in front of konoha that he is not Really kenjirou. ofc there are the hcs that the people inside the daze move freely and can see each other but personally i never interpreted it like this. i like the hc theyre all alone bc makes for better post str angst and i like the idea that ayano CAN do this but doesn't because she is too upset she could not save haruka and takane and is too ashamed to face haruka. and also something something self punishment i dont deserve to hang out with my friend and receive updates from what he can see with awakening eyes (but doesnt stop to think it'd be nice for haruka to have someone). i think ayano probably shows up to haruka at least once Largely based on his line in the eighth novel when she appears. he says "she was always unannounced" or something like that and yeah maybe he meant back then when they were alive ayano had always been kind of sudden and unexpected idk lol but i like to interpret it as in ayano suddenly showing up in haruka's daze like. hi. (cries a lil bit then immediately leaves)

ERM. SORRY I GOT SIDETRACKED. LIKE ALWAYS. i think haruka Knows where he is bc ayano told him, but it's also so appealing to me that he's just confused the whole 2 years (plus the 10 years it feels he's watching hibiya and hiyori die) cuz. heh. angst. but yeah i think he'd know but not much (until konoha meets the dan yknow)

ANYWAYS YEAH my point was he just went through all that, been alone for 2 years plus all the time worth in the hibihiyo timeloop and finally. HE GETS TO SEE TAKANE. except he is not really himself and konoha is just making her freak out and cry and haruka's just having a mental breakdown bc he's been in this place for so damn long where he cant feel tired or sleep or eat and he is just laying there in a room perfectly designed to fit his worst nightmare like he is by all means dead but alive enough to be tortured like this lolllll and now he gets to see the person he's been begging to see all this time like YOU KNOW in the third novel the first konohas state of the world chapter he says "if i had a final wish i would reach out to that girl who used to yell at me all the time" (insanity) like i truly think the i want to see you takane bit from the anime is from there. anyways. the fact that line happens while konoha is actively trying to stop the timeloop for hibiya and hiyori AUGGHH

um. yeah he gets to see her again. but all his other self is doing is making her cry lmaooo

but also i think haruka is rly touched that takane refuses to see konoha as him and calls him a fake LOL bc haruka hates konoha bc it acts so much like him, clueless to those around him and just being a burden but takane refuses to see it as haruka because it's NOT haruka like she knew immediately it wasn't him. and maybe from takane's pov its just her in denial of haruka having his memories erased but still she was right, it wasnt haruka in his body. and i think he would be so touched abt this (which is why he's so desperate for her company post str not only for obvious reasons like he loves takane and he was alone for god knows how long inside the daze but ALSO BECAUSE.. everyone else became great friends with konoha and he feels so bad replacing it and fears the dan resents him hehehehehfhejdjjdjfiekdkoeoeo

[grechsblog]

Yes to all of this and more

HONESTLY THO ive seen some insane takes on that jin zixuan confrontation most of which boil down to 'well he couldve NOT killed him' and im just?? Have we read the same book. Is there some outer dimensional mirror copy of it that ive never heard about. What.

There was SO MANY THINGS wrong with that confrontation (more than half of which are jin guangyaos fault) but Just Not Killing One Guy is NOT A SOLUTION TO ANY OF THEM. There was at least 100 (if i remember the number right) cultivators that were gunning for wuxians head full stop and his priority was word for word Not To Become a Pin Cushion not only for his own sake but also because theres like 50 people that need him alive to stay alive too. There was enormous pressure. He was stressed. Jin zixuan just brandishing his sword at every minor offense (as a surprising number of characters do actually...) was certainly Not helping any. You are absolutely correct that if it wasnt wen ning and wuxian just happened to have his word zixuan wouldve still ended up with a severe case of Dead because that man just. Flails around with a sharp object like an idiot

Its just kind of 'everything wouldve been different if everyone acted different' situation which- well. Just go write ocs at this point or something. ??

And to add to the flute thing! if it was 'demonic flute' and 'one of a kind' like so many seem to think why could wuxian just. Supplement it? With random stalk of bamboo?? Which sounded horrible yes but also was perfectly functional otherwise. Chenqing is just about like any other normal flute just in black and special in a way that an instrument you play for a long time is special. Wuxian wouldve (in fact Had) NEVER allowed ANYONE touch and especially little a-yuan chew on the ying tiger tally. Because That one is dangerous. Very much so.

Also THANK GOD! That you get wei wuxians 'obliviousness' is an absurd fanon. Oblivious to what??? To the fact that wangji refuses to explain anything? To the fact that wangji obviously wants to drag him Somewhere? Honestly its a blessing he Didnt know what happened to wangjis mother because it wouldve turned ugly Fast. Not that it wasnt already

I cant deny that they had a crush on eachother in cloud recess when they were 15 but at least on wuxians part it burned up as soon as everything started to smell. Indoctrination camp, lotus pier massacre, loss of jiang chengs golden core, loss of HIS golden core, burial mounds, war, scorn, wen remnants, that thrice damned jin zixun, yanlis death, burial mounds siege, not to mention the little scratches we dont know about between all that - its too many things at once. Just. Too many. Why are people so sure he was oblivious when there mightve not even been Feeling in the first place? At least not like That. Give him the benefit of the doubt for fucks sake. Its the least he deserves.

Also also, what a good point. Where the wen remnants are going in this hypothetical? In gusu? Have you met qiren by any chance. Or xichen (who is an entirely Separate can of worms). Or any gusu elder. Did you forget wangji had to BEG for them to accept a-yuan despite him several time stating He Is My Son (therefore the Only direct clan heir no matter What) because of his origins? Which werent even disclosed in truth??? Not to mentions politics! So much useless politics and jin guangshan (ew) and all that ugly-ugly outrage. Being a conservative and harboring grudges is one thing but even the greatest of sects will be in Ass of a stink that politics who do not agree with that decision can make.

There can never be a plot of land where the wens are Safe without any additional supervision and ass-kicking. Which is exactly Why they were in burial mounds in the first place

Im starting to think the only novel of mxtx that got Understood is svsss and that is because its based on the mockery of every romance trope in existence and being outrageously stupid is in-character no matter what you do. And even that is a low hanging branch if 'shen jiu morraly correct(?)' discourse is any indication

If one more person calls wuxians ghost path 'demonic cultivation' with no /j attached i will take arms the way nie huaisan does it (cry)

[unkalaki]

I just read Small Gods again and then I couldnt stop and due to some reasons that I dont fully understand myself i then continued on and read Going Postal and Making Money. I think thats how Pratchett goes, for me at least. It is such an adventure, even on your 10th or 20th time, that you just cant have enough.

Small Gods though. I reread it, an activity that i recommend everyone do from time to time. Of all of Pratchett’s books this one has always affected me the most. I dont really know why. I think i read it at a time of my own life that Brutha’s journey from certainty of faith to questioning and going on conicided with my own, less defined portion. When I first read it, I was myself starting to venture into the quicksand of doubt and it was scary. Going your whole life, with certainty of faith and then losing it is, as necessary as it may have been, a very scary, lonely thing to do. Just the simple questions that you are faced with, which when unanswered use that very own simplicity to batter down your previous assumptions and lay your own worldview bare. To see the same shown happening to Brutha, a character that i found myself endeared to from the first moment of being described as a giant with a heart of a mouse and the simplicity of a newborn (some would call it stupidity, shows what they know) just elicited a very simple feeling of kinship.

Moving on, the part of Small Gods that makes me go back again and again is the very simple line that just breaks me.

“In a hundred years we will all be dead.... but here and now we are alive”

A lot of people, me included, learn to start thinking, actually thinking about the world in their mid to late teens. They start to see the realities of the world. Most of them till that point have been sheltered from the world in one way or another. Even those that have not rarely have the words to describe the evil things that may have happened to them. Evil is a word that you know but it is usually limited to things that are not actually real. It is stories about things that dont happen to real people. It is an aspect of fiction that you have heard about but whose existence you dont really fathom. However, this is the time where you start to think about actions, about the world and about the realities of evil. And when you start to do that you start to see evil everywhere. You start to see it in the small acts that people commit everyday. You start to notice it in the small things. Not the big evil of nefarious individuals in thier high rooms cackling to themselves about stupid words like “schemes” and what not. It is the small evils. The banal evil. The stupid mindless evil that people have looked at everywhere and learned to live with.

This is the point where most people make the choice to make limiters. People calibrate their eyes. You choose the level of evil that you are comfortable with and block it. Your eyes no longer see it, no longer recognise it as anything at all. They just glaze over it. It is a necessary thing to do for some. Looking at the way society deals with those it deems necessary all the time, taking it all in all the time, trying to conjure up all the requisite pain that you should for everything is something that is not possible. You learn to choose your battles. For some people these are limited to certain things/peoples/organisations etc. 

Others go down the darker paths of cynicism or nihilism. It is all bad everywhere which means that it does not matter. Everything is bad, everything is awful, all the people are bad. So your response is:

“FUCK IT”

This doesnt help anything. Bald faced cynicism is just another shield that you make to make sure that you can survive this world with you sanity intact. But its not a good path. It is a self defeating one because it by its very nature leads you down a path where everything and everyone is bad and thus you just lose those very important things that make life worth living, such as hope and the yearning to do more, to be better.

Terry however knows this and addresses this head on. The world may be evil, you may be a finite speck of dust on a cosmo that cares naught about you. In the grand cosmo you may not matter but that does not mean that here and now you do not matter. In a hundred years we will all be dead but that does not give you the right to say that a life happening today, a simple life, a humble life, a life that all the stupid high minded people would term as “unimpactful” does not matter. It matters because that life is being lived. Here and now they are alive. Here and now they feel. Their pain, their loss, their joy, it is real and the fact that it might not be remembered in a hundred years matters not in the least. IT IS REAL, IT IS A LIFE AND THEY MATTER. And in saying so Terry tells you in a such a caring and soft way that you cant help but cry:

“You Matter”.

Terry Pratchett was a funny old man but he was at the same time one of teh most compassionate men. It is just so apparent from his works. His compassion was directed at that most forgotten sections of society. The lowly masses of people that are necessary to make a society, if only to create the background music for the more “important players” to play their highly important games with each other. These people are often glossed over by most player but Terry saw them, saw us and he loved them. He didnt romanticise them. He saw them for the small minded, often stupid, mindlessly offensive people that they could be and most often were but he said “yeah so what”. That is who we are most of the time and we still matter.

I started reading Discworld about 6 months after Terry died. But to this day i sometimes still cry because i miss him. I miss someone i never knew but whose words have changed me. Changed my life and my world view over everything. Changed me in ways that i still appreciate. A beacon of humanitariasm.

GNU TERRY PRATCHETT.

Thank you for everything 

[rolaplayor101]

on god you’re such a fucking homophobe lmao why are you erasing the fact that he’s in romantic love with riku

Because hes not in romantic love with Riku. Hes got queerplatonic love for Riku, as well as Kairi. And he confuses it for platonic love because he doesn't know what Queer platonic is. Its easy to tell in how he acts in the games. He calls them all his friends, he goes to incredible lengths for them, gets to his knees crying for them, and all in the name of friendship. He even calls Kairi his friend despite how Donald and Goofy tried to imply his feelings were romantic in the first few games.

Sora gets very attached to multiple people throughout the games. He befriends people easily and goes to great lengths to make sure they're ok (how he reacts to Will being stabbed, and Elsa being sad, Tron when he doesn't remember him, also Neku when he immediately calls him his friend and forgives him for betraying him). The same goes for Riku and Kairi, who he's more attached to than anyone else. Once he found out Riku was ok in kh1, he stopped worrying about him and focused on Kairi. In kh2, when he found Riku, he dropped to the ground crying because for the longest time he wasn't sure if Riku was even alive or not, and in kh3 he drops down crying again because Kairi is assumed dead, having been struck down right before his eyes(he also falls to the ground screaming when everyone besides Riku is taken in by the hoard).

Also, he says in kh3 that he "doesnt completely understand [romantic]love, but [he] know[s] about sharing [his] heart with others". He even worries himself into a frenzy about Roxas in kh3, a dude he never even knew, and yet sees as important anyway. None of these things are shown as romantic. In context, none of them are romantic. The only reason it seems romantic between Kairi and Sora to Donald and Goofy is because Kairi is a girl. In kh2, to Meg I believe it is, Donald and Goofy say "he always acts like this around girls" but..he didn't do anything in the scene? He was acting like he normally does?? Nothing changed?? So it's just plain old heteronormativity.

The characters themselves never once call their relationships anything but friendships(except maybe Kairi, but I cant remember her labeling anything)! And everytime romantic love is brought up, Sora immediately equates it with platonic love, because that's the only way he can relate! He sees it as just as important(because it is)! There's also the fact that he can recognize romantic love quite easily with others, such as Meg and Hercules, and Kristoff and Anna. If he felt rom attraction, he'd be able to tell if what he was feeling was it.

Also, he'd show it. He'd blush, have the stereotypical cartoonish "in love" face (lidded, eyes, goofy smile, hearts floating around head and/or thought bubble with hearts around said person, but the video game equivalent), he'd stutter when talking to them, show nervousness specific to romantic attraction and not because he feels ashamed or did something wrong or something. When he holds Kairi and Riku's hands or hugs Riku, he'd show physical signs of romantic/sexual attraction, and or he'd have dialogue thoughts like "I cant believe I get to hold them. My hearts gonna beat right out of my chest" or something to that affect. Sora is no more conscious of holding Kairi's hand than he is Pooh Bear's. And this is Disney, as well as Square Enix. Disney has a formula when displaying romantic attraction in their movies.

Sora's actions are always exclusively done in the name of his friends. "My friends are my power!" Kairi is his power. Riku is his power. Donald and Goofy and Mickey and Roxas and Lea are his power. He cares about his friends. He cries for them. He's an affectionate aroace who treats all his friends specially when he can, although he can't see them all the time(see Pooh Bear in kh3, the talk about being in peoples hearts even when you can't see them, which he has AGAIN with Hiro in Sanfransokyo. This is a direct reference to Kairi being in his heart in kh1 and not being able to see Riku in kh2 AND Roxas now being in his heart in kh3. All platonic scenes and comparisons). And because he was always thinking about Riku and Kairi in the first games, Donald and Goofy and you confused his feelings for Kairi and Riku as romantic, when he himself has always only ever said it was platonic. And he thinks out loud, too, so we hear his inner thoughts.

Queerplatonic attraction can be seen as desiring to be in a relationship just as committed as a romantic one, but platonically, or as desiring to do romantic coded things with someone platonically. Sora says in canon that he always wants to be with Riku and Kairi. He also holds hands with Kairi at the end of Remind and KH3 before he disappears, as well as when they're "coming back to life" after the Heartless Hoard attack. He daydreams in kh1 about holding hands with Kairi and swinging around in a circle after he's found her. That last one only happens once and even still he only ever refers to her as his friend-- not his crush, or anything similar. In the dozen games that have come out, he never takes a shot at it, despite there being plenty of time to after kh2 and before Dream Drop Distance. And since Queerplatonic relationships are often mistaken for being romantic by people outside of the qpr, while also in writing sounding completely like a regular friendship to some people, then it makes most sense for Sora's orientation to be this way. Again, out of the dozen games, he never shows strictly romantic attraction towards anyone(unless you count that one daydream in kh1, but cmon). (I don't even wanna talk about Riku and Kairi. Bi and het respectfully, Riku likes Kairi in kh1, likes Sora until kh3, and Kairi only seems interested in Sora the whole way around.)

And! Since you've shown yourself that you've misread their relationships as romantic, you've proven the point that they all (Sora Riku and Kairi) are in a Queerplatonic relationship! Congratulations! Your fave is a bi oriented aroace with queerplatonic attraction that's also in a polyamorous QPR!

Sorry you have shipping brainrot and cant see how people can be passionate about and motivated by non-romantic causes and people in their lives!(you know, like, what the series is about) Hope you grow out of your amatonormative preteen-like way of thinking! Also, you don't have to be aroace to care about your friends obviously, but apparently you do have to be gay to???

[fusulyesheep]

I know im posting too much about deltarune this last days but ima do it again

If last week i was losing my mind, in this week i dont have a mind anymore

Im still questioning WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

[under the cut if you want to see someone slowly losing it]

First, ralsei randomly changing form. i know we saw this last chapter but now its more uncanny. How did he get taller (also the fact he can just appear in other dark worlds and not turn into stone but this isn't that important)

Rouxls Kaards and Seam being extra suspicious, because Rouxls head doesn't turn into stone and he was stopped from using his real power whatever this is, and seam apparently knowing what are the shadow crystals and being able to take one from your different save and talking about a boss harder than Spamton and Jevil

Spamton basically confirming the influence of gaster in this universe, apparently knowing about jevil who probably also got crazy because of the man who talks with hands, and also his crazy talk about freedom and the chilling way he just breaks when you win against spamton NEO

Noelle having issues with the word "december" alluding to the fact Dess has disappeared and that's why asgore was sent out of the police force and toriel end up divorcing, and noelles mum's acts weirdly AND NOELLES DAD IS JUST WITH A UNKNOWN DISEASE THAT IM SURE WILL TIW INTO THE PLOT (and also what is this between rudy and asgore RUDY YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED YET)

You can manipulate noelle into killing literally everyone just because yes, so you traumatize her and now berdly is dead

And also she may be or at least have connections to the angel

Kris just RIPPING THE SOUL OUT OF THEIR BODY IN THE BATHROOM WHILE SUSIE AND TORIEL ARE JUST BAKING A PIE

GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE BY THE WINDOW (SO THEY ESSENTIALLY JUST CRASHED INTO THE GROUND AND PROBABLY FELT PAIN, BUT NOT LIKE IS A BIG DEAL COMPARE TO THE FACT THAT THEY TAKE THE THING THAT KEEPS THEM ALIVE OUT OF THEMSELVES)

SLASHING THE THINGS ON THE CAR MAYBE BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ANYBODY RUNNING AWAY

OPENING THE DOOR SO UNDYNE WILL NOTICE THEM

AND JUST CASUALLY OPENING A FOUNTAIN AFTER PUTTING THE SOUL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SOFA

And just

who are the titans?

aren't we gonna talk about the fact that there are literal GODS most likely going to appear at the same time asriel comes home?

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE WORST OF ALL OF THAT??

THIS IS NOT EVEN EVERYTHING IS MAKING ME FREAKING OUT

TO THE BIG THINGS THAT CAN DESTROY THE WORLD TO THE LITTLE THINGS LIKE SUSIE NOW BEING IN TOUCH WITH PEOPLE (AND NOELLE) TO THE FUNNY THINGS LIKE THE BANANA TO THE EMBARRASSING THINGS LIKE BERDLY PREVIOUSLY LIKING NOELLE AMD NOW LIKING SUSAN TO THE THINGS I CANT EXPLAIN LIKE ONION-SAN BEING ALL "IVE HEARD A SONG OR SOMETHING" TO THE CUTE THINGS LIKE ALMOST CANON SUSELLE TO THE JUST BLATANTLY WEIRD ONES LIKE PAPYRUS JUST BEING NON-EXISTING FOR SOME GODAMM REASON

I LITERALLY CANT POSSIBLY SAY EVERYTHING, THE ONLY WAY TO SHOW WHAT'S MAKING ME LOSING GRIP OF MY SANITY (PROBABLY ALREADY LOST) IS JUST POINTING AT THE FUCKING GAME

BECAUSE HONESTLY IT'S IT IN ALL IT'S ENTIRETY

Ha ha i needed to get this all out of my throat,

sincerely, a random deltarune fan who is now insane

[chamanthi-crab]

Continuing episode 6 and then til the end of it - done in a few sessions

Damn Kyrie is ruthless, but still very respectable for how much she held back

Willing to kill for love, like the murders of the games...or not...

The Grey eyes effect on Jessica looks cool

I hope that Jessica does not succeed...but I don't think that will be the case

Do the people in the trials get enhancements?

Flustered is a different look on Kyrie. I knew it was a bit of a farce

Thought Kanon had it too easy with Rosa, wonder why Maria was here and not in the guest house

Awww Shannon to the rescue

Supposing everyone does succeed in the trial, there would still be one more foe the first twilight?

What would be the deciding factor for the winner for the trials

Huh...how come all the characters chosen to be killed for the trial are all female characters

Come on Beato

Oh this is how we'll get the sixth murder, with Battler

Lol did he kill Erika? Or himself

Okay it's not Erika unless she gets killed later

Hm why did he choose to kill himself

Ah okay so he has also wanted to die

Good to see him acting nicer to her now

Now I'm more convinced that Battler's sin he forgot is promising to come back, cause getting embarrassed about how he acted in the past is very similar to that scene, but yeah we shall see

Oof Bern ruthlessly ripping into Erika but I am here for it

I was thinking the next trials would be the next twilight. Each pair would have to kill one person again and the first two pairs to kill would pass. Something like that.

Okay nevermind, but would this make the second twilight, isn't Battler already dead in the first twilight?

Battler is getting manipulated too much by Erika, with the duct tape and also with using red for the two rooms. Geez not answering can also reveal something I'm worried

If everyone is used and the seals are used, it could severely impact the tricks set up and the plausibility of this game. See. Now they have some truth if someone opens the door or leaves and other aspects of this room with Dlanor's red longsword

Ahh you're making me nervous how are you going to make this work later

Is the one place the closet? Like in the previous game where Natsuhi was

Is he dead in the bathroom? gosh I hope he's not naked. Or this water is a distraction? Steam to cover vision and movement, water sound to cover sound of someone leaving

Maybe there is a body switch and someone else came in to hide and reset the chain lock. That's one idea I can think of. And they hid inside the game. They are so focused on Battler, what about the other victims of the first twilight they could also be alive

Whenever there's applause I like to clap along too haha

Whoo its just like I thought. My brain is working

Okay nevermind

So you're saying Erika can be a killer and when she checked the rooms she made sure to kill them herself

yep

It feels like there are too many things relayed retroactively in this game

Oh man he just wanted a game where everyone was alive and happy still, I feel bad for Battler.

Oh god dont tell me she killed everyone in the guest house too and sealed the room

You could have everyone leave the room at the same time

LOLOLOLOLOL what is this voice i'm crying hahaha "oh yeeeeeeeeaah!! Very gooooooood!! One more!!" "Oh very GOOD!!"

Or someone leaves through the window. Oh so that was restricted as well I forgot

Huh this is like the dream that Ange was having where they cant leave the room

You're not telling me Lambdadelta is Ange...that dream is someone else. Rather its just a sympathy ploy right hm?

Oh this is the vegetable Battler that was in the beginning of the episode in the wedding

The joke is it actually got released in a CD right. Or probably it was released later or soon after?

Yeah I dont have an idea for the closed room right now

Maybe I'm remembering wrong from what was mentioned before by Lambdadelta, but was Bern's old master Lambdadelta?

Oh my god we gotta stop the wedding

Love is an open door hah

There's certainly some metaphor of the closed room called marriage. Closed room can be opened with love hmmmm

Is this supposed to be wordplay...need to create a spare key, closure, idk

yesssss birth of a new witch banger ost

Oh my god we gotta stop the wedding

Beato has to come save him and she's in the next room?

This ring scene is very uncomfortable as if Erika is raping Battler

What exactly is furniture, how are they created

So Beatrice was made in Battler's taste...

Okay assuming Shannon might be Beatrice, Beato is a fragment of Shannon cause her love can be fulfilled here in this episode. And she moved on because she started to love George and split. That's why she is an incomplete soul. But why is Kanon's soul also incomplete. Shannon was also the one who could see Beato in the previous episodes though Kanon could as well

Oh shit Kanon laugh is this the first time or I just cant remember

Come on Beato you can do it

How did she revive? she merged? she understood how to be the witch? Its the older sister? She understood why she was born?

You just gotta whisk Battler away

She understood the previous Beatrice? or she is acting a role?

Oh so it was Battler this whole time, not Ange's dream

There is not always one truth (anti-Conan thoughts)

*clap clap

So they did merge

rip Erika

Oh the Birth of a New Witch with singing is used as the ending of episode 6 cool, wasnt sure if it was a separate track

congrats on your marriage

*clap clap

Now i'm just waiting for something bad to happen again. What's going to be in the next few games. Ange is still there waiting so probably creating that Fragment?

There are still unanswered parts for previous episodes

what if its Sakutarou lolol the cat in the ????? just kidding

Considering the window that appears does this have to do when Bernkastel was trapped? She has a cat's tail right

Next one is Bernkastel's game, but would this be a different Fragment of the previous ones. Separate from one where Battler is the territory lord then.

Beatrice's put to rest is having everything exposed and her role is completed is that how it works?

Anyways whoo done with episode 6! Gonna start episode 7 laterish or tomorrow we'll see

On track to finish everything within this year o7

I started umineko and am properly going through it (third times the charm whoo). Hoping i get enough momentum to finish it

I looked up word count it doesnt seem too bad around 1.1 million thats almost like erha (i say as someone who got through only about 2/3 of erha lol someday ill finish it)

Im gonna say i do not like the sound of crying or kids throwing a tantrum [i think cause i feel traumatized by my cousin's children] so the U-u-u crying of Maria was driving me insane i had to mute and speed through. The voice doesnt bother that much when her mood is good

I got into the music from it cause it was by shikata akiko sometime maybe 2015 or 2016 cause they were absolutely beautiful songs, so i was interested in playing it eventually

[cassyapper]

bless you @bisexyofficial

i’ll put a cut so ppl who dont wanna see it dont have to wade through my ramblings but

jonathan joestar’s whole life was a tragedy nd im tired of pretending it’s not

tw suicide btw

i have been thinking abt this for so long and i only recently figured out how to word it so let’s go

first things first;;; he’s in a carriage accident as a child, in which his mother dies while protecting him from the brunt of impact. i have no doubt in my MIND george kinda blames jonathan for his wife’s death because of this (ill get back to why i think so in a minute). but even if george didn’t, it seems like it’s in jonathan’s nature to blame himself as well

i think that’s why he tries so hard to be the hero (for example, when he steps in to help erina even though he was no match at all for the bullies). he wants to pay it forward if you will; he thinks he’s living on borrowed time, and he doesn’t want to carry that debt longer than he must, which in this case would mean...dying for the good of someone else asap. not good!

so frankly already i think he was never in the best place mentally but he was like okay relative to how bad it would get.

but then dio ~the invader~

dio comes in with the life mission of making jonathan so miserable he kills himself so that he can have all the joestar inheritance. jonathan no doubt picked up on this, considering dio was never subtle about it lol

i think the only reason he didnt go along with it is because, especially in western christain culture at the time, suicide was seen as the easy way out/a sin/something selfish, which wasnt how jonathan wanted to go. he wanted to kill himself sure but he wanted the benefit of the doubt regarding it and he wanted it to be because he was saving someone else

my proof of this line of thinking is all very subtle but it is there and it’s all in the fact that jonathan does nothing to stop dio from tormenting HIM. when he lashes out a dio, it’s only when dio drags others into their feud, like erina and danny and later george and eventually windknights lot. but when it was just him? jonathan took it and swallowed it and did nothing in retaliation. because he though he deserved it

this lack of action is echoed in how he just takes his father’s abuse as well; george jumped on the opportunity to belittle jonathan (such as the dinner table manners bs/otherwise always comparing jonathan to dio in a way “why cant you be more like him” way) and always believed dio over jonathan when they squabbled bc, as mentioned earlier, he blames jonathan for his wife’s death and he loves having some reason to be mad at jonathan. jonathan just takes it and accepts the unfair punishments (such as when george literally STARVED HIM, A GROWING PRETEEN BOY) because again, he believes he deserves it. he believes he is inherently bad

this line of thinking would also explain why he never tries to reconnect with erina until theyre adults and erina initiates it; he doesnt want her to be targeted because of HIM again. he wont drag her back into his messes for the selfish reason of him wanting her company

so. jonathan doesnt like himself. he is perfectly fine with others using him as their emotional/physical punching bag but he will get upset if others get involved

jonathan is selfless to a fault and it really really hurts, u guys. it’s born out of love for others but also a disdain for himself and that hurts

but anyway

then george dies when jonathan is only 19 and even though george was abusive to jonathan, jonathan still mourns him because he felt like he deserved that abuse. and to add salt to the wound, george dies in jonathan’s place iirc so jonathan just feels. awful. fuck god fuck. especially bc he died cause dio got obsessed with a mask JONATHAN left where he could find. obviously it’s not jonathan’s fault for real but this man will perform mental gymnastics to make himself out to be the one to blame because it’s how he’s lived his whole life and it’s how he stomached pain his whole life. it’s easier to take things if u think u deserve them

anyway anyway then part 1 main events. zeppeli, the only real father figure in jonathan’s life, dies, also in place of jonathan. i have no doubt in my mind jonathan feels like he’s a curse onto his loved ones at this point, if he hadn’t thought so earlier; a bad luck charm. after all, the later generations of joestar gotta get it from somewhere-

anyway this death does fuel jonathan enough to kill dio rather than any notions he mightve had of just dying heroically in the fight. esp because dio was gonna continue hurting people if he wasn’t stopped. so jonathan kills him rather than falling into a self-destructive fate

we see, when jonathan weeps over dio’s “death”, that he is sad over this death. most of this is bc dio was a brother in some measure to him since dio changed tactics of how he’d swipe the joestar fortune and became a little more amicable toward jonathan for a handful of years, as well as the fact that he now had time to properly mourn zeppeli/his father now. but i feel like another death he was mourning in this instance was less dio/his father/zeppeli, and more the death of his self-blame line of thought

 killing dio, a man who had become a symbol for jonathan’s self-blame and self-disdain, was a big stepping stone in jonathan’s healing i feel like. he’s gotta work on it obviously but i think at this point, when he had the guts to kill dio while also being self-preservative, he was ready to start trying to live for himself in addition to his loved ones. he was ready to unshoulder the guilt he had felt his whole life. he was ready to heal, because erina, speedwagon, and zeppeli showed him he had something inside him that was worth loving. and he might not have gotten it then but with time...maybe he would

he finally starts piecing a life together, a real life. he marries erina, he’s besties with speedwagon, he gets a new home, it’s good, it’s good, he is starting to become happy in life and happy he’s alive for the first time since he can remember

but then it turns out dio is not actually dead and he infiltrated jonathan’s honeymoon ship specifically because it was jonathan’s and he kills almost everyone on board while he’s there. erina is in danger again. a child is in danger. and much like dio was never actually dead, neither was his tendency to shoulder blame and self-disdain

basically, as a result of this jarring situation on a day that was supposed to be one of the happiest of his life, jonathan is thrown back to his 12 year old mindset; it was fine if it was just him. he can die heroically via fighting someone as vile as dio (which in my opinion is why dio even got the jump on him via the laser eyes in the first place; jonathan shouldve been able to dodge that........but w/e). but he can’t let this happen to the world. he can’t let this happen to erina. he needs her to get away from him and thus, the danger

and well, we know how part one ends. jonathan gets his wish. he dies alone with the person he hates most, having relapsed all the healing he had done. he dies a heroic death rather than a “shameful” one of suicide. he dies blaming himself for this mess, just how he had lived most of his life

jonathan is a tragedy. he is shouldered blame unfairly given to him from his father, dio, and he himself his whole fucking life. when he finally, finally has the chance to start healing and making peace with himself, dio kills him, and in addition to that, jonathan’s last acts are the results of a mental rebound from a healthier mindset to a unhealthy one, that culminates in his death. he is alone with the person who is representative of all that made his life shit when he dies

and dawg...it hurts so bad. fucking jonathan joestar

anyway this is why comments abt how nice he is make me so sad sumtimes, especially when it’s re how forgiving/”gentlemanly” he is. it’s bc he felt he deserved that hurt in the first place so of course he wouldn’t hold it against them. he’s kinda shocked someone would feel guilty over it in the first place, but he’s happy to forgive because he doesnt think a slight occured because he thinks he deserved it, which we can see in speedwagon’s introduction

anyway jonathan is as much of a tragedy as the rest of the joestars i need people to acknowledge this. im in tears

[luvspence]

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

-

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again 

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp 

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was 

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.”  he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued 

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

-

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

[curious-menace]

Can you do headcanons of any Riddler getting cared for and gentle kisses from reader after getting beat up? He needs some loves.

SO I MAY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT MY ULTIMATE FANTASY IS TO GIVE RIDDLER A HUG WITH BACKRUBS AS HE TELLS ME ABOUT HIS DAY AND I STAND BY THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY .

i freaking love this stuff so im going to do all of them mwahahah

post asswoop riddlers getting loves

Arkham riddler

He’s VERY quiet, which knowing him and his inability to stop talking, is  bad news.

I paint arkham riddler as a cry baby and i stand by that. this is the hill i will die on. He’ll have dragged his sorry ass into your apartment or house , dripping blood on your floors but he wont bother calling for you. he’ll just sit at the table with his head in his hands having a lil pity party until you find him.

when you do finally get home, he’ll be looking like a kicked puppy. he’s gotten stuck in his own head, mentally beating himself up even more. he got a fright when you came in because he was so caught up he didn't even hear you at the door.

He’s literally sits there like a child with his arms up for you to come scoop him up. he’s not even sure why his first thought after getting beat up was to come here, he’s probably lead the cops here or something and that was so stupid and- you should probably give him a lil soft smooch on the head to stop him before he goes into a spiral.

he needs more emotional and mental care than physical. Talk to him while you're patching him up. any topic, it doesn't matter just keep him focused on your voice and not the one in his head calling him dumb.

he wont admit he wants to be held and coddled after something like this. get your softest blankie and 2 mugs of coco with marshmallows and just ramble at him. tell him about your day or ask him to explain something boring and complicated so he’s focusing on that rather than how upset he is. let him sit on your lap or between your legs on the sofa and watch how its made or mythbusters or something until he falls asleep. he should be ok again in the morning, he doesnt stay down for long. 

Blacklight Riddler

He’s used to getting his ass kicked, either by batman, the other rogues or once he’s a PI, by unhappy clients and the people he put away. He might be tiny but he’s pretty tough. 

even if he’s really hurting, his probably trying to crack jokes and tell blood and bruise related riddles. He doesn't like to see you worry so even if he’s in a lot of pain or a bit upset about things, he’s trying to make you smile.

he likes kisses on his bruises. even if he just banged his hand on the table he’ll come to you because he wants you to kiss it better. 

He’s a decent fighter, unlike a lot of riddlers who couldnt fight their way out of a paper bag. He can throw punches but he lacks in defence and with his bad knee, dodging can be a little hard. even if he wins the fight he’s still likely to need you to patch him up.

He likes kids plasters. like hello kitty and spongebob. no im not joking, he ALWAYS wanted them when he was little and his parents always said no. now he’s an adult he’s going to use them whenever he damn well pleases.

 if it was a particularly bad one, he’ll be ok in the moment even if he has to go to hospital. But he’s going to drop the facade at some point and let you see how upset he is. winding up in hospital after being beat was a common occurrence in childhood. even after doing it time and time again as an adult it doesn't make it any easier on him. he’ll want to stay in your bed, be close to you for few days until either he starts to heal or something snaps him out of his funk.

BTAS Riddler

he really prefers other people to do the fighting for him. well physically anyway. he can handle his own arguments...most of the time. He’s going to need you to nurse a bruised ego more than anything. he probably got dunked on my batman or crane and now he’s huffing.

i don't know if this counts as care and kisses but he clearly needs you around to keep his sorry ass alive. he hurt his side in a fight once and said he wasn't hurt. believable... until he started to act a little confused, a little dizzy. needless to say it worried you enough to take him to emergency care. 

He was obviously in agony by now but he was still fighting with you the entire drive there, insulting you and insisting he was fine. its a good job you took him when he did, turns out he’d ruptured his spleen and would probably be dead if you weren’t around to act like his common sense.

he still hasnt apologised for that. or any of the other times you insisted on medical care to stop him from pushing up daisies. he just pretends like you know he’s grateful so he doenst have to admit he’s bullheaded, stubborn and worst of all, wrong. 

if he has been seriously hurt, he acts more indignant about it than anything. he wants to be waited on and pampered while resting in bed. he can be a genuine pain to deal with, talking about how lucky you are to see him in such a vulnerable state and how you should be grateful he’s letting you do this for him.

He doesn't want to admit how much he actually needs you. his goons wont put up with him when he’s like this and he’s freaking paying them to do it. you do it for free and no matter how annoying he is you havent left him yet. he doesn't tell you but youve noticed he starts getting you more gifts about a week after he’s recovered. like its taken him a day or two to work out he should probably thank you for all you do.

Original Riddler

this riddler is just weird. like he gets a freaking hang nail and he pretends like he’s dying. but he could nearly lose a limb and he’ll say “tis but a scratch” and still try to hobble about like nothing is wrong.

actually he’s more like olaf “oh look i've been impaled.”. he probably tries to laugh off life threatening injuries like its nothing, taking maybe 3 steps before he collapses on his face in a blood puddle and lets out a tiny “help”

good luck moving his tall lanky ass around. better get a gurney and maybe those vets at the zoo who deal with giraffes. seriously if you want to take care of him you are going to need help or some sort of action plan and a go bag because with his limp butt this will not be easy.

he’s kinda like BTAS riddler in that he needs you to tell him the injury is serious. hes not dumb he just has a high pain threshold and genuinely doesn't realise that injuries are as bad as they are. 

he can be a bit of a baby while being patched up. he doesn't like a lot of blood or gore, it makes him feel a little sicky. better give him your phone to play with like a kid at the doctors or put the tv on for him to watch while you bandage  him. word of warning, he will pass out or throw up if you try to give him stitches.

i think you should focus your love and attention on him AFTER medical care. just focus on the job, be silent and as fast as possible to get it over with quickly. you should probably bring him something sweet too. no not just you, although you are sweet for looking after him. give him something sugary because he’s going to be light headed after seeing any blood. maybe you could give him a lolly for being a good patient. 

Telltale riddler

this riddler is essentially a metahuman. he can REALLY take a beating and bounce back fairly quickly. just look how many times batman punched him in the face and it barely stunned him! he doesnt usually need patched up after a fight. maybe just a lil smooch and some hugs

he did really need your help after the whole pact thing. having his friends abandon him hurt like hell, more than any physical injury ever could.

after that, he clings to you. almost obsessively so; we know he’s got some serious mental illnesses but he usually has the worst of it under control, even without meds. now? it seems like he’s experiencing ptsd and is afraid to go anywhere without you, like you might up and disappear if you arent in his line of sight at all times.

i think this riddler might need the most intense care from you. hugs and gentle reassurance wont be enough. you’re going to be responsible for taking him to therapy, keeping him taking his meds and grounding him to reality. this is the kind of responsibility you took on when you got involved with him but i doubt you realised how hard it would be. i cant promise it will all be worth it but i can promise he wont ever forget your kindness.

the kind of care he needs after such a hard knocking down is just stability. im not one for romance or any mushy gushy stuff but please just pour your love into the cracks in this poor mans soul.

its hard going, but he has his moments. his gallows sense of humor is still there and hey, after him being in and out and gone for so long, it might be nice to have him around more.  

Zero year riddler

INSUFFERABLE LITTLE SHIT THIS ONE. he could LITERALLY be bleeding out in your arms and he’d STILL be backseat driving on your medical skills. the temptation to just leave him there to bleed is INCREDIBLE.

he’ll drop the act eventually. he’ll ask and maybe even beg for your help. man has  no shame and all the self preservation instincts of a lemming. dont get me wrong, he can be a total coward some times, only looking out for himself . but when he’s actually hurt ? not a fuckin clue. does this head wound need an ice pack or heat pack? is this spurring blood wound worthy of medical care? no idea. he was a very sheltered child who never got so much as a bruise so he has no idea what to do when he’s hurt.

he gets the everloving shit kicked out of him on a clockwork basis. like you could hear knocking on your door at 3 am and already be at the table with a first aid kit like oh its tuesday riddler must have broken his nose.

he takes entirely too much joy in making you patch him up. youre starting to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose just to see you in your little apron and latex gloves . he’s getting off on this and you know it but god help you, you just  cant resist his dumb face asking for your help and would you also wear this pink nurses outfit while youre at it?

one time he lost a LOT of blood. he would be fine but he was pretty damn loopy from lightheadedness. while you were trying to get him into bed to rest he started flirting with you. can you believe the audacity? he’s lost 3 pints of blood and he’s still more focus on his libido? 

he’s actually going to be both humble and grateful for your help when he finally comes round. dont get me wrong, he’s still a bit of a prick but at least he says thank you for saving him before he demands you kiss all his booboos and ouchies. 

nonnie i am having a stroke. i was trying SO hard to just pick one but i COULDNT because i am WEAK for hurt and comfort.

theres a reason i have a tag that literally says “i have naughty hands and no self control”

someone needs to stage an intervention

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[bansheeoftheforest]

Uh, is there still an angst break? Ignore this ask until your ready if so 👉😎👉

-

What was the au where Jekylls pushed down the stairs and experiences a skull crackening again? Oh well but I've been thinking of a branch of that where Jekyll doesn't know hes dead like all day. I also cant remember if that was already discussed or not

The lodgers patch him up, he complains of a headache, and goes on his merry way! He's confused why all the lodgers are so nervous and being nice to him all of the sudden, why creature is looking at him with a stange mix of empathy and pity. He was told he fell down the stairs, fell unconscious, and obtained a bit of an injury. He cant fathom why Frankenstein is "The only doctor who can treat him" why he has to constantly go to her for checkups. Why Maijabi is suddenly following him practically everywhere.

Hyde squeezes back control for a moment and tries the potion but it doesn't work. Maybe a bit of pain but certainly no transformation. Jekyll assumes his injury or whatever medication they're giving him to treat it somehow negated the effects

Jekyll complains about "suddenly blacking out" the lodgers know its because his soul is slippery. They tell him it must just be a side effect of the injury and not to worry

How long can they keep it secret from him? When does he find out? Does he? Does it get to be years only for him to realize that he hasn't aged? That he still needs checkups from Frankenstein? Does he learn sooner? Does a lodger crack and say it? Does he rot? Does he notice how so very cold he is. How animals act around him? It's all very interesting,,

-

I actually did think a bit of Jekyll's kidnappers for the amnesia kidnapping au! When drawing that lil sketch of Henry and O'Leary meeting Robert I had considered making it so O'Leary was suspicious of Lanyon like "Oh theres no news anywhere of someone matching Thomas' description who's missing. But some random people walk up claiming to know him? Begging to take him back with them?" And he'd think they were the kidnappers. But ultimately I decided against it as I felt Lanyon and Rachel were pretty clearly, genuinely concerned for "Thomas" :p

-

I tried playing assassins creed once, the first(?) one. But the controls were confusing and everything was sorta thrown all at me at once, and I got bored of it quickly

But! I went to the store the other day and just so happened to notice Syndicate was being sold for 15 dollars 👀 So I bought it because funky Victorian assassins and your influence! It's a bit less confusing then the first ac game I tried but why is going down or dropping so hard bdksnks. I'm having quite a bit of fun! If you dont count my rage and annoyance-, the B button refuses to cooperate with me unless I'm looting corpses >:(

The b button being the bane of my existence aside, I AM having fun! I like the funky outfits and I want to play as the girl twin (evie?) forever because her clothes are good and shes better at attacking than jacob(?) For some reason. Probably the stun her weapon has? Oh well! I have not unlocked any new outfits yet, nonetheless I wish there were more.

Also! I was thimking, and my current quests are taking place at 1868? Did I get that right? And Jekyll is like 35 in 1885. So in game he'd be 18! An au like I believe you mentioned sounds very interesting 👀 but I must play more to know what's going on and daydream about it

That would be the resurrection au <3

But god, I really like that branch! Especially combined with the hc that he can't feel pain bc the HJ7 and the transformations made him immune. Frankenstein patched him up and made fleshweaver to heal the crack in his skull but it still has to be bandaged, he surely broke a few bones, yet all he has to do is to be careful because it doesn't even hurt. He doesn't even realize how severe the injuries are because it doesn't hurt, it very well might just have been that he accidentally slipped at the bottom of the staircase and accidentally hit his head on the railing during his fall, rather than getting physically pushed and flying down the stairs, shattering his skull upon impact with the marble floor. Y'know what would be extra fun? If he only starts getting a bit suspicious about how severe the injury was once he realizes his lungs stop breathing for minutes at a time when he gets distracted, or his heartbeat stops dead in his chest. I know that that's not how biology or even creature works but lets say the HJ7 is funky, Zombie Jekyll my beloved. Perhaps he would only fully grasp what had happened once he blacked out too much and 'passed out', but his soul slipped out enough to leave his body unconscious on the floor while his soul/ghost was just... Watching. And it's not until Maijabi (who, as you said, follows him everywhere) immediately calls for more Lodgers saying that Henry's soul is getting unstable and Frankenstein's lousy job is starting to shine through that he fully understands that it was not a mere hit to the head. Or maybe it is when days, weeks, maybe months has passed and the headache never goes away, he only feels how his body starts feeling so much more... Fragile and delicate, that the guilt has eaten Helsby up alive and he corners him and spills everything, knowing he is going directly against what the group agreed to but not being able to keep it a secret much longer-- or maybe Creature would tell him immediately, once Henry is, for once, alone perhaps days after the initial accident. He cannot see Henry struggle to understand what is going on when he already knows what's happening to Henry, his mind, and his body. He doesn't listen to the plan that Frankenstein and the Lodgers has set up and immediately tells Henry the first moment they are alone. That would certainly be horrifying, I can only imagine how the Lodgers would find Henry after that, once he actually knows and manages to process everything. He would be so mad, not only to have been killed in the first place, but also because he was robbed of an afterlife because the Lodgers were selfish and could not accept the consequences of their actions. He would be mad, he would be so pissed and I have no doubt he might actually be mad at Maijabi too for even agreeing to help Frankenstein and the rest of the Lodgers. That anger would not stay long, though. That anger would soon turn into misery and sadness and paranoia so even as Henry has tried to push Maijabi away, Henry still ends up on his doorstep begging him to help him make sure he is not rotting, because no matter what anyone says, he is sure he can see rotten spots and patches on his skin and he is just so scared and jdhfjsdfdsfsfs... <3

--

Ooooooohhh, I was actually daydreaming about this just this morning! Granted, I woke up at 5 and began to daydream to fall asleep quicker but I still like the thought of O'Leary being suspicious of Robert/Rachel/Jasper/the Lodgers bc he is protective of 'Thomas' and doesn't want anything bad to happen to him and especially with the idea that Henry still has hallucinations and they both think he was abandoned by his family, left to rot at a mental asylum. O'Leary might very well think that it might be Henry's friends and family that dumped him that Henry had 'escaped' the hospital and that's why they knew he was missing since the Asylum itself obviously wouldn't have posted the news... I really liked Jeks idea, okay? Like a lot, I absolutely love it <3

--

Oh, the oldest AC game I played was Unity bc it was free after the Notre Dame fire, and I can confirm, I played 15 min and could not get through it even if i would have wanted to, it absolutely sucks so i have no doubt the older games are just as frustrating <3

BUT!!!! I'M SO GLAD MY CORRUPTION IS SPREADING AND YOU BOUGHT AND PLAYED IT AND ARE ENJOYING IT SO FAR!!! Trust me, Syndicate truly is an absolutely amazing game and is definitely one of my top 3 games of all time. I sometimes play it w my friend watching me play and trust me, I know that rage of trying to do smt but the character does smt else... or you try to do smt but the game doesn't react and you miss your chance... Oh well, still a wonderful game <3

My friend loves to play as Evie as well but I'm definitely playing Jacob every chance I get and I honestly get a lil pissy when I have to play as Evie bc I always prefer to play male characters, plus, I just like Jacob better bc he is a sweetheart. He is also canonically bisexual as hell!!! Have you met Abberline yet? The police officer? Him and Jacob together is one of my fave ships for the game. I also bought the ultimate/golden/whatever name it was edition so I had a bunch of extra outfits, I love the sherlock holmes outfit for Jacob but my friend keeps bullying me for it </3

Honestly? The time difference is the bane of my entire idea for the au bc if it's during their time Henry hasn't even graduated yet, and definitely not well-known enough for them to actively meet for whatever reason, and if you use the timeline for the jack the ripper dlc (in 1888) a lot of... Less than pleasant things happen so it wouldn't really make a lot of sense for a crossover to happen at that point but maybe it's just bc im a pussy and refuse to play the dlc. Rn, while imagining the au, I just imagine the 1868 timeline to be the same as the TGS timeline. I like to imagine the Frye Twins hearing about Henry and the Society and promptly breaking into his office to ask him to make poison and stuff for them. I also have a feeling that Jacob would flirt wildly with Henry and that Henry would be less-than-amused. It would also be a very fun thing with the fact that there would be two Henrys, with TGS Henry Jekyll and AC Syndicate Henry Green, soo... XD

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!